November 13, 2024 • 11 mins
An older infidelity recently discovered, a foster teen removed from his home, and a brokenhearted girlfriend... Did I steer them in the right direction? ~ Delilah
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hey it's Delilah. Thank you for stopping by. I have
put together some of my favorite radio moments here to
share with you on our daily podcast, Hey it's Delilah.
Every night on my radio show, we share something called
(00:24):
Delilah dilemma, where you write to me or you call
me with yours situation and I try to help you
come up with the right solution. Today, we're going to
listen to some of those on this podcast. Mikayla says, Delilah.
I love your show and you've helped me through many
hard nights in my life, and I have no idea
(00:45):
how I can get by this one without your help.
I've been with my husband for almost twenty years. We've
known each other since we were just six years old.
We lost contact until high school, but then we got
together and we've never said I love him dearly, and
I thought he felt the same way for me until
(01:05):
just recently I found out he had an affair about
four years ago. I try to think of what made
him break my heart in such a horrible way. I
am devastated. All he tells me is that he loves
me and that it was a mistake. In his words,
he wanted to experience someone else, since we have never
been with anybody but each other. But the real pain
(01:28):
comes in questioning why it lasted so long. They had
a relationship of a year and a half. He tells
me he loves me, but these actions tell me differently.
I am so confused and hurt. Please help me. From Mikayla. Mikayla,
I will have my response to you coming up next.
(01:56):
Tonight's letter comes from Mikayla, who married her high school sweetheart.
They've been together twenty years and she recently discovered that
four years ago he had an affair and now she
doesn't know if she wants to pick up the pieces
and try to put it back together again. And MICHAELA
listened carefully to what I have to tell you, and
(02:17):
I know I'm going to get lots of hate mail
for this, but it's the truth. Men and women view
intimacy differently. We are wired differently. And I know that
it's going to sound crazy, but if you are the
only woman that your husband has ever loved and he
(02:37):
was tempted and stumbled and fell, that doesn't mean he
doesn't love you, you said in your letter. He tells
me he loves me but his actions tell me differently.
He made a mistake. He made a grave mistake. There
are a lot of really good people I know who
have made really bad mistakes, and one bad choice, one
(03:03):
bad decision, one mistake, does not mean that person is
a bad person. I have done much worse than your
husband did to you, and I know that God has
forgiven me, and that I have forgiven myself, and hopefully
the people that I hurt will forgive me too. But
I don't think that you should throw away the only
(03:28):
person you've ever loved and your relationship because of this betrayal.
Maybe there's things you didn't share in your letter that
I don't know when he really is a jerk, but
it doesn't sound like that. Good luck Tonight's Delilah's dilemma
(03:51):
is from a young man who has a dilemma that
he can't fix. But you have the power to fix it.
And after I share this letter, I want you to
ask yourself, how can I make this world a better place?
Is there something I could do to change Ryan's life
or another young person like Ryan. Here's his letter, He says, Hi, Delilah,
(04:16):
my name is Ryan. I'm fifteen. I've recently been through
some really rough times. That's the understatement of the century.
Hear what he has been through. He says, I've been
in foster care for over three years, and I was
just moved from the family that I was living with
for those three years. It's really hard for me to
(04:40):
concentrate in school. I can't sleep. I find myself thinking
over and over and over about my situation. I really
need a family. Do you have any way that I
could possibly cope with my emotions and my feelings? Please
help me? From a young boy in foster care named Ryan, Ryan,
(05:05):
I will have my words for you coming up next.
I don't know if young Ryan is listening right now.
The boy who wrote to me, who's fifteen, he's been
in foster care since he was twelve, and he was
(05:27):
just ripped from the family that he was living with
and stuck someplace else. And he says he can't concentrate
in school, he can't sleep because his heart is broken.
And he asked me, do you have any way that
I could possibly cope with my emotions and my feelings? Ryan?
Your emotions and your feelings are real. You can't concentrate
(05:48):
because your life has been disrupted and your heart has
been broken, and pretending that it's okay isn't going to
make it okay. So here's what I'm going to say
to you, young man. Cry your tears, have a hard
time concentrating because you can't fix that, you can't make
it go away. But instead of laying in bed thinking
(06:12):
of the situation over and over and over, I want
you to lay in bed and pray and say, God,
I need a family, somebody who will come alongside me
and love me no matter what. And to anybody else
listening right now, there's a very old book. It's been
around a few thousand years, and according to that book,
(06:37):
true religion is to care for orphans and widows and
their affliction, young people like Ryan who need a family.
So instead of worrying about whatever it is you're worrying about,
how about you worry about Ryan. How about you go
get licensed to be a foster family and you take
(06:58):
him in and you adopt him. How about that? How
about if you have an extra room in your house,
how about thinking, you know what, I'm going to go
change someone like Ryan's life. I am going to get involved.
I'm going to mentor these kids. I'm going to adopt
these kids. How about that, Ryan, I'm going to pray
(07:20):
with you that God will open a door and that
somebody listening right now will say, you know what, I've
got room in my heart to be a mom or
a dad to young Ryan. Tonight's dilemma is from a
young woman who's kind of in a relationship, kind of,
(07:43):
She says, my boyfriend and I have been together for
almost a year. We've talked a lot about our future
marriage and children. But then yesterday he told me he's
second guessing if he's ready for marriage or if he
even wants a serious relationship. He said he didn't want
to tell me this is he didn't want me to worry,
but he felt it was important and that I needed
to know. He doesn't open up easily to anyone. He
(08:06):
had a prior marriage that lasted eleven years, and I'm
well aware that his fears of unhappiness and failure might
be coming from there. I explained to him that another
failure just wouldn't happen because we wouldn't let it happen.
And as for the fear of unhappiness, I told him
that I was brought to him to share happiness. I
also explained to him that I fight for what I
(08:27):
believe in and I refuse to give up on this.
He told me he isn't giving up, he's just scared.
When I asked him last night if his goal was
to still have a future with me, he mumbled yes.
Last night I prayed asking God to help my boyfriend
see that I am the true love and this is
not empty promises. I needed to talk to somebody who
doesn't know me. Am I overreacting? Or should I keep pushing?
(08:52):
Should I be worried? From Jenna? Jenna, I will have
my mother Delilah words for you, young lady. Coming up next.
Tonight's Delilah's dilemma is from Jenna, who is trying everything
in the world to convince her boyfriend that she's the
(09:12):
one that he should commit that she won't hurt him. Jenna, stop, stop,
you're acting like a bulldozer here. It is not your
job to convince a man that he is the one
that God has chosen for you. If he is, you
will know it by his actions. He will love you
(09:34):
and pursue you, and swoon over you and miss you
when you're not with him. He will be the one
to say I can't live without you. You are wonderful.
You can't be the one to say you can't live
without me because I'm wonderful. Trust me on it. It
doesn't work that way. I tried it for years. You
cannot make him love you. You can't make him want
(09:57):
to commit. And if he is afraid, if he's scared,
if he's not ready for a commitment, believe him when
he tells you that, and stop trying to change his mind,
because what's going to happen If he does commit to
you under these circumstances. He's going to resent you and
(10:19):
you will never experience the level of love and intimacy
you hunger for. He's going to resent you. You're going
to wonder if he truly loved you or if you
bulldozed him into it. So stop stop trying to fix it.
Put it in God's hands, and then walk away. If
(10:39):
he's meant to be with you, he won't let you
get very far. Good luck, God bless you. I so
hope you have enjoyed these radio moments as much as
I enjoy bringing them to you. I'll share more with
you each weekday on Hey It's Delilah, Do not for
(11:02):
your king,
Hey it's Delilah. Thank you for stopping by. I have
put together some of my favorite radio moments here to
share with you on our daily podcast, Hey it's Delilah.
Every night on my radio show, we share something called
(00:24):
Delilah dilemma, where you write to me or you call
me with yours situation and I try to help you
come up with the right solution. Today, we're going to
listen to some of those on this podcast. Mikayla says, Delilah.
I love your show and you've helped me through many
hard nights in my life, and I have no idea
(00:45):
how I can get by this one without your help.
I've been with my husband for almost twenty years. We've
known each other since we were just six years old.
We lost contact until high school, but then we got
together and we've never said I love him dearly, and
I thought he felt the same way for me until
(01:05):
just recently I found out he had an affair about
four years ago. I try to think of what made
him break my heart in such a horrible way. I
am devastated. All he tells me is that he loves
me and that it was a mistake. In his words,
he wanted to experience someone else, since we have never
been with anybody but each other. But the real pain
(01:28):
comes in questioning why it lasted so long. They had
a relationship of a year and a half. He tells
me he loves me, but these actions tell me differently.
I am so confused and hurt. Please help me. From Mikayla. Mikayla,
I will have my response to you coming up next.
(01:56):
Tonight's letter comes from Mikayla, who married her high school sweetheart.
They've been together twenty years and she recently discovered that
four years ago he had an affair and now she
doesn't know if she wants to pick up the pieces
and try to put it back together again. And MICHAELA
listened carefully to what I have to tell you, and
(02:17):
I know I'm going to get lots of hate mail
for this, but it's the truth. Men and women view
intimacy differently. We are wired differently. And I know that
it's going to sound crazy, but if you are the
only woman that your husband has ever loved and he
(02:37):
was tempted and stumbled and fell, that doesn't mean he
doesn't love you, you said in your letter. He tells
me he loves me but his actions tell me differently.
He made a mistake. He made a grave mistake. There
are a lot of really good people I know who
have made really bad mistakes, and one bad choice, one
(03:03):
bad decision, one mistake, does not mean that person is
a bad person. I have done much worse than your
husband did to you, and I know that God has
forgiven me, and that I have forgiven myself, and hopefully
the people that I hurt will forgive me too. But
I don't think that you should throw away the only
(03:28):
person you've ever loved and your relationship because of this betrayal.
Maybe there's things you didn't share in your letter that
I don't know when he really is a jerk, but
it doesn't sound like that. Good luck Tonight's Delilah's dilemma
(03:51):
is from a young man who has a dilemma that
he can't fix. But you have the power to fix it.
And after I share this letter, I want you to
ask yourself, how can I make this world a better place?
Is there something I could do to change Ryan's life
or another young person like Ryan. Here's his letter, He says, Hi, Delilah,
(04:16):
my name is Ryan. I'm fifteen. I've recently been through
some really rough times. That's the understatement of the century.
Hear what he has been through. He says, I've been
in foster care for over three years, and I was
just moved from the family that I was living with
for those three years. It's really hard for me to
(04:40):
concentrate in school. I can't sleep. I find myself thinking
over and over and over about my situation. I really
need a family. Do you have any way that I
could possibly cope with my emotions and my feelings? Please
help me? From a young boy in foster care named Ryan, Ryan,
(05:05):
I will have my words for you coming up next.
I don't know if young Ryan is listening right now.
The boy who wrote to me, who's fifteen, he's been
in foster care since he was twelve, and he was
(05:27):
just ripped from the family that he was living with
and stuck someplace else. And he says he can't concentrate
in school, he can't sleep because his heart is broken.
And he asked me, do you have any way that
I could possibly cope with my emotions and my feelings? Ryan?
Your emotions and your feelings are real. You can't concentrate
(05:48):
because your life has been disrupted and your heart has
been broken, and pretending that it's okay isn't going to
make it okay. So here's what I'm going to say
to you, young man. Cry your tears, have a hard
time concentrating because you can't fix that, you can't make
it go away. But instead of laying in bed thinking
(06:12):
of the situation over and over and over, I want
you to lay in bed and pray and say, God,
I need a family, somebody who will come alongside me
and love me no matter what. And to anybody else
listening right now, there's a very old book. It's been
around a few thousand years, and according to that book,
(06:37):
true religion is to care for orphans and widows and
their affliction, young people like Ryan who need a family.
So instead of worrying about whatever it is you're worrying about,
how about you worry about Ryan. How about you go
get licensed to be a foster family and you take
(06:58):
him in and you adopt him. How about that? How
about if you have an extra room in your house,
how about thinking, you know what, I'm going to go
change someone like Ryan's life. I am going to get involved.
I'm going to mentor these kids. I'm going to adopt
these kids. How about that, Ryan, I'm going to pray
(07:20):
with you that God will open a door and that
somebody listening right now will say, you know what, I've
got room in my heart to be a mom or
a dad to young Ryan. Tonight's dilemma is from a
young woman who's kind of in a relationship, kind of,
(07:43):
She says, my boyfriend and I have been together for
almost a year. We've talked a lot about our future
marriage and children. But then yesterday he told me he's
second guessing if he's ready for marriage or if he
even wants a serious relationship. He said he didn't want
to tell me this is he didn't want me to worry,
but he felt it was important and that I needed
to know. He doesn't open up easily to anyone. He
(08:06):
had a prior marriage that lasted eleven years, and I'm
well aware that his fears of unhappiness and failure might
be coming from there. I explained to him that another
failure just wouldn't happen because we wouldn't let it happen.
And as for the fear of unhappiness, I told him
that I was brought to him to share happiness. I
also explained to him that I fight for what I
(08:27):
believe in and I refuse to give up on this.
He told me he isn't giving up, he's just scared.
When I asked him last night if his goal was
to still have a future with me, he mumbled yes.
Last night I prayed asking God to help my boyfriend
see that I am the true love and this is
not empty promises. I needed to talk to somebody who
doesn't know me. Am I overreacting? Or should I keep pushing?
(08:52):
Should I be worried? From Jenna? Jenna, I will have
my mother Delilah words for you, young lady. Coming up next.
Tonight's Delilah's dilemma is from Jenna, who is trying everything
in the world to convince her boyfriend that she's the
(09:12):
one that he should commit that she won't hurt him. Jenna, stop, stop,
you're acting like a bulldozer here. It is not your
job to convince a man that he is the one
that God has chosen for you. If he is, you
will know it by his actions. He will love you
(09:34):
and pursue you, and swoon over you and miss you
when you're not with him. He will be the one
to say I can't live without you. You are wonderful.
You can't be the one to say you can't live
without me because I'm wonderful. Trust me on it. It
doesn't work that way. I tried it for years. You
cannot make him love you. You can't make him want
(09:57):
to commit. And if he is afraid, if he's scared,
if he's not ready for a commitment, believe him when
he tells you that, and stop trying to change his mind,
because what's going to happen If he does commit to
you under these circumstances. He's going to resent you and
(10:19):
you will never experience the level of love and intimacy
you hunger for. He's going to resent you. You're going
to wonder if he truly loved you or if you
bulldozed him into it. So stop stop trying to fix it.
Put it in God's hands, and then walk away. If
(10:39):
he's meant to be with you, he won't let you
get very far. Good luck, God bless you. I so
hope you have enjoyed these radio moments as much as
I enjoy bringing them to you. I'll share more with
you each weekday on Hey It's Delilah, Do not for
(11:02):
your king,
Host
Delilah
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