May 22, 2024 • 11 mins
Life throws a lot at us. Sometimes things get murky. I try to help sort things out. Was my advice helpful? ~ Delilah
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hey it's Delilah. Thank you for stopping by. I have
put together some of my favorite radio moments here to
share with you on our daily podcast, Hey It's Delilah.
Every night on my radio show, I have a feature
called Delilah's Dilemmas. Or Folks call me or write me
(00:26):
and share a sticky situation they're in and I try
to help them figure out the best course of action. Today,
we're going to listen to some of those unique situations
right here on Hey It's Delilah. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma says
I have a dilemma and I don't know what to do.
(00:48):
We have a beach house. My husband owns the majority
of it. His sister owns about a quarter of it.
But if you ask her, she owns it. She decorates it.
She usually spends time during the summer, but she's recently
retired rather early, and now she is there all the time.
She's a little too close to my husband and I
feel very left out. We had friends to visit for
(01:11):
a weekend and she is always in the middle.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Of our conversation.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
When her friends come over, my husband and I retire
to another room to let her visit. We have no
problem with that, but if we go anywhere, she invites
herself along every single time. Oh and she never pays
for anything she expects us to. I'm starting to snap
at her because she's always there in my face. I
hate myself for it, but I cannot help it. I
(01:38):
can't load the dish washer even without her fixing it.
When I walk away, I start to set the table,
she takes over. I run into a store. She has
to go. She corrects me on everything in front of everyone.
My stomach is in knots. If I say anything to
my husband, it will blow up in my face. I
hate myself for feeling like this, but what can I do.
(02:00):
Everything always has to revolve around her, and no matter
where I go, I cannot seem to get away from her.
Please help. I hate feeling like this. Dreading another day
with my sister in law. We will be back. I
will be back with my best. Delilah Dilemma response coming
up next. Tonight's Delilah's dilemma is from a listener who
(02:26):
shares a property with her sister in law and her
sister in law is a pain in the patuity. Here's
what you do you set a boundary. You don't expect
your husband to set a boundary. You set the boundary.
If you load the dishwasher and she fixes it, turn
around and say, you know what, since you're not happy
(02:46):
with the way I load the dishwasher, I'm not going
to load the dishwasher from now on. You can do it,
and then you let it go. If she starts to
insert herself in your trips to the grocery store, you say, no,
I need a little time alone. I will see you
when I get back, and then you get in your
car and you leave. You have to set boundaries. Get
(03:06):
the book Boundaries by doctor Cloud and doctor Townsend. That
will help you far more than anything I have to say,
and good luck. I got this letter that says, Delilah.
My name is Vanessa. I've been listening to you since
I was six, when my mom would work late and
(03:28):
I would fall asleep listening to your soothing words. I'm
eighteen now. I love you and the inspiration you give
to others, and I'm hoping you can please help me too.
I've been so stressed lately with exams, keeping up with
my grades. I'm a senior in high school and I've
(03:49):
been accepted to five different colleges, but lately life has
felt really bad now with grades and stress. I even
have two nine page reports do next Monday, and I'm
on the first page of the first essay and i
can't stop stressing. I hope you see this and give
(04:09):
me some type of motivation so I can continue, because
I can feel myself slowly giving up. Ah, sweet Vanessa,
I will have some words, some mother Delilah words for
you coming up in a moment. I just got a
(04:35):
letter from Vanessa, who is a senior in high school.
She's got two papers due, she's stressing. Take a deep breath, Vanessa,
take a really deep breath.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
I am so proud of you, honey, for being accepted
to five different colleges. That's amazing.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
I was only accepted to a community college and they
don't turn anybody away when I was your age. But
here's the thing, Honey, there is so much more to
life than just getting good grades or just writing the
perfect paper. I'm glad that's important to you, But this
is your senior year, Honey. You will never again in
(05:13):
your life be around the same people once you walk
down that down that stage. And get your diploma and
walk off the stage. You and your friends that you've
known maybe a year, maybe ten or twelve years, will
never be together again. So enjoy it to the fullest.
(05:35):
Enjoy these next few days, next few weeks. Completely write
a good paper. But you won't remember the paper you
wrote in ten years. You will remember the last few
weeks with your friends. You will remember the fun that
you will have. But you got to give yourself permission
(05:56):
to have fun.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
Okay, Daniel writes to me and says, last week I
took a trip to Iceland with my girlfriend with plans
to propose to her under the northern lights. I was
so excited at the prospect of proposing, but as beautiful
(06:19):
as Iceland was, we were never able to see the
northern lights. Disappointed and defeated, we went back to our hotel.
In our room, I looked at her and I thought
that she was the most beautiful and wonderful creature to
ever walk the earth. So, in my emotional state, I
did something I guess I should not have done. I
(06:41):
asked her to marry me right in our hotel room.
In my eyes, I thought that it was a perfect moment,
just the two of us together. She said, yes, we
shared a wonderful moment. The problem is, now that a
couple of days have passed, she feels like I do
not care for her and feels disappointed that I wasted
(07:01):
such an important moment in a hotel room. How do
I show her that she is the most important and
special person in my life and get another shot at
making something wonderful for a proposal? Please help me out
from Daniel. Daniel, trust me, you're not gonna like what
I have to say. Sorry about that, but you know
this is the Delilah dilemma, and Delilah gets to be honest.
(07:24):
You wrote to me and asked my opinion, and it's
going to be brutal, and it's going to be harsh,
and I know I'm going to get a lot of
people yelling at me, saying, how could you say those
things to such a sweet man? But I got to
be honest with you because I've been around the block
three times, maybe four, and I believe you deserve just.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
A little bit more.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
I'll have my words for you, Daniel. Coming up next,
Tonight's Delilah's dilemma is from a young man who took
the time and the energy to create a wonderful vacation
for He and his girlfriend took her on a trip
to Iceland to see the northern lights, planning to propose
(08:06):
under the northern lights, but his fate would have it
there were no northern lights. They went back to their
hotel room, and in all the love that he felt
in his hearts, he got down and proposed. And now
she is complaining that it wasn't special enough. Daniel, are
you listening to me? Run the other way. She is
(08:29):
not the most important and special person in your life.
She is being a horrible person. She is caring more
about some trumped up fake ceremony than about the fact
that you say you want to spend your life with her.
Are you serious? A proposal isn't an event that you
(08:50):
brag about on social media. A proposal is the most
precious requesting. I want to share my life and my
heart with you. It doesn't matter if the ring is
ten thousand dollars or or one hundred dollars. It doesn't
matter if it's under the northern lights or if it's
(09:10):
next to somebody's sick bed. My husband proposed to me
when I was dying of pneumonia when I had been
to Africa and hadn't showered for days, and it was
romantic because what he said was he wanted to care
for me no matter how sick I was. You offered
(09:30):
this woman your heart and she is now tossing it
back in your face, saying you're not romantic enough, that
it wasn't special enough, that you wasted a proposal. Yeah,
you wasted a proposal on somebody who has a heart
of stone.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
Daniel.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
Imagine what the rest of your life will be like
if you go through with this. Your wedding is not
going to be perfect enough. Your children are not going
to be perfect enough if you have them. Your job
is never going to be good enough. Your house is
never going to be fancy enough because she only cares
about what other people see instead of about what really matters.
(10:11):
That's my opinion based on your letter. You are a sweetheart,
and you deserve to be with somebody who would be
thrilled if you propose next to a bonfire in the
middle of the woods, when you ask somebody to share
your life and share your future and share your heart,
and you say you are the one that I want
(10:32):
to go through Helen back with and they say, okay,
but you could have done that better. No, not, you
deserve better, Daniel. I so hope you have enjoyed these
radio moments as much as I enjoy bringing them to you.
I'll share more with you each weekday on Hey It's
Delilah
Hey it's Delilah. Thank you for stopping by. I have
put together some of my favorite radio moments here to
share with you on our daily podcast, Hey It's Delilah.
Every night on my radio show, I have a feature
called Delilah's Dilemmas. Or Folks call me or write me
(00:26):
and share a sticky situation they're in and I try
to help them figure out the best course of action. Today,
we're going to listen to some of those unique situations
right here on Hey It's Delilah. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma says
I have a dilemma and I don't know what to do.
(00:48):
We have a beach house. My husband owns the majority
of it. His sister owns about a quarter of it.
But if you ask her, she owns it. She decorates it.
She usually spends time during the summer, but she's recently
retired rather early, and now she is there all the time.
She's a little too close to my husband and I
feel very left out. We had friends to visit for
(01:11):
a weekend and she is always in the middle.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Of our conversation.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
When her friends come over, my husband and I retire
to another room to let her visit. We have no
problem with that, but if we go anywhere, she invites
herself along every single time. Oh and she never pays
for anything she expects us to. I'm starting to snap
at her because she's always there in my face. I
hate myself for it, but I cannot help it. I
(01:38):
can't load the dish washer even without her fixing it.
When I walk away, I start to set the table,
she takes over. I run into a store. She has
to go. She corrects me on everything in front of everyone.
My stomach is in knots. If I say anything to
my husband, it will blow up in my face. I
hate myself for feeling like this, but what can I do.
(02:00):
Everything always has to revolve around her, and no matter
where I go, I cannot seem to get away from her.
Please help. I hate feeling like this. Dreading another day
with my sister in law. We will be back. I
will be back with my best. Delilah Dilemma response coming
up next. Tonight's Delilah's dilemma is from a listener who
(02:26):
shares a property with her sister in law and her
sister in law is a pain in the patuity. Here's
what you do you set a boundary. You don't expect
your husband to set a boundary. You set the boundary.
If you load the dishwasher and she fixes it, turn
around and say, you know what, since you're not happy
(02:46):
with the way I load the dishwasher, I'm not going
to load the dishwasher from now on. You can do it,
and then you let it go. If she starts to
insert herself in your trips to the grocery store, you say, no,
I need a little time alone. I will see you
when I get back, and then you get in your
car and you leave. You have to set boundaries. Get
(03:06):
the book Boundaries by doctor Cloud and doctor Townsend. That
will help you far more than anything I have to say,
and good luck. I got this letter that says, Delilah.
My name is Vanessa. I've been listening to you since
I was six, when my mom would work late and
(03:28):
I would fall asleep listening to your soothing words. I'm
eighteen now. I love you and the inspiration you give
to others, and I'm hoping you can please help me too.
I've been so stressed lately with exams, keeping up with
my grades. I'm a senior in high school and I've
(03:49):
been accepted to five different colleges, but lately life has
felt really bad now with grades and stress. I even
have two nine page reports do next Monday, and I'm
on the first page of the first essay and i
can't stop stressing. I hope you see this and give
(04:09):
me some type of motivation so I can continue, because
I can feel myself slowly giving up. Ah, sweet Vanessa,
I will have some words, some mother Delilah words for
you coming up in a moment. I just got a
(04:35):
letter from Vanessa, who is a senior in high school.
She's got two papers due, she's stressing. Take a deep breath, Vanessa,
take a really deep breath.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
I am so proud of you, honey, for being accepted
to five different colleges. That's amazing.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
I was only accepted to a community college and they
don't turn anybody away when I was your age. But
here's the thing, Honey, there is so much more to
life than just getting good grades or just writing the
perfect paper. I'm glad that's important to you, But this
is your senior year, Honey. You will never again in
(05:13):
your life be around the same people once you walk
down that down that stage. And get your diploma and
walk off the stage. You and your friends that you've
known maybe a year, maybe ten or twelve years, will
never be together again. So enjoy it to the fullest.
(05:35):
Enjoy these next few days, next few weeks. Completely write
a good paper. But you won't remember the paper you
wrote in ten years. You will remember the last few
weeks with your friends. You will remember the fun that
you will have. But you got to give yourself permission
(05:56):
to have fun.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
Okay, Daniel writes to me and says, last week I
took a trip to Iceland with my girlfriend with plans
to propose to her under the northern lights. I was
so excited at the prospect of proposing, but as beautiful
(06:19):
as Iceland was, we were never able to see the
northern lights. Disappointed and defeated, we went back to our hotel.
In our room, I looked at her and I thought
that she was the most beautiful and wonderful creature to
ever walk the earth. So, in my emotional state, I
did something I guess I should not have done. I
(06:41):
asked her to marry me right in our hotel room.
In my eyes, I thought that it was a perfect moment,
just the two of us together. She said, yes, we
shared a wonderful moment. The problem is, now that a
couple of days have passed, she feels like I do
not care for her and feels disappointed that I wasted
(07:01):
such an important moment in a hotel room. How do
I show her that she is the most important and
special person in my life and get another shot at
making something wonderful for a proposal? Please help me out
from Daniel. Daniel, trust me, you're not gonna like what
I have to say. Sorry about that, but you know
this is the Delilah dilemma, and Delilah gets to be honest.
(07:24):
You wrote to me and asked my opinion, and it's
going to be brutal, and it's going to be harsh,
and I know I'm going to get a lot of
people yelling at me, saying, how could you say those
things to such a sweet man? But I got to
be honest with you because I've been around the block
three times, maybe four, and I believe you deserve just.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
A little bit more.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
I'll have my words for you, Daniel. Coming up next,
Tonight's Delilah's dilemma is from a young man who took
the time and the energy to create a wonderful vacation
for He and his girlfriend took her on a trip
to Iceland to see the northern lights, planning to propose
(08:06):
under the northern lights, but his fate would have it
there were no northern lights. They went back to their
hotel room, and in all the love that he felt
in his hearts, he got down and proposed. And now
she is complaining that it wasn't special enough. Daniel, are
you listening to me? Run the other way. She is
(08:29):
not the most important and special person in your life.
She is being a horrible person. She is caring more
about some trumped up fake ceremony than about the fact
that you say you want to spend your life with her.
Are you serious? A proposal isn't an event that you
(08:50):
brag about on social media. A proposal is the most
precious requesting. I want to share my life and my
heart with you. It doesn't matter if the ring is
ten thousand dollars or or one hundred dollars. It doesn't
matter if it's under the northern lights or if it's
(09:10):
next to somebody's sick bed. My husband proposed to me
when I was dying of pneumonia when I had been
to Africa and hadn't showered for days, and it was
romantic because what he said was he wanted to care
for me no matter how sick I was. You offered
(09:30):
this woman your heart and she is now tossing it
back in your face, saying you're not romantic enough, that
it wasn't special enough, that you wasted a proposal. Yeah,
you wasted a proposal on somebody who has a heart
of stone.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
Daniel.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
Imagine what the rest of your life will be like
if you go through with this. Your wedding is not
going to be perfect enough. Your children are not going
to be perfect enough if you have them. Your job
is never going to be good enough. Your house is
never going to be fancy enough because she only cares
about what other people see instead of about what really matters.
(10:11):
That's my opinion based on your letter. You are a sweetheart,
and you deserve to be with somebody who would be
thrilled if you propose next to a bonfire in the
middle of the woods, when you ask somebody to share
your life and share your future and share your heart,
and you say you are the one that I want
(10:32):
to go through Helen back with and they say, okay,
but you could have done that better. No, not, you
deserve better, Daniel. I so hope you have enjoyed these
radio moments as much as I enjoy bringing them to you.
I'll share more with you each weekday on Hey It's
Delilah
Host
Delilah
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