March 25, 2019 • 58 mins
We finally get to hear Stephanie's version of her date with Derek Peth, and then Derek calls in to hash things out with her on air, and it might lead to a second date!
But we need a professional's opinion, so we talk to Dr. Hillary Goldsher for a full analysis of the date.
And, Wells has some tips to make sure Steph never loses her phone again
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
This is I Heart Radios podcast with Stephanie Pratt and
Wells Adams. She I want to meet her? Who the announcer.
It's Tory. It's that girl that was sitting right there.
Isn't it isn't it Dory? It's really good. Yeah we
(00:23):
should she was just here. We should have to make
her do it. All right, welcome everyone into the pradcast. Um,
I'm Wells Adams. I'm alongside Steph Pratt, who is here
and I just want to say alive and well, yeah
I'm here, guys. Um, let's just go over because last episode,
(00:44):
yeah I heard last episode it was a lot of
stuff bashing. That's because you left your phone at the
Beverly Hills Hotel. Right, okay, let me just give you
a quick run down. Give me the run It was
not the hotel, is the country club. So first of all,
(01:05):
I was on my first holiday that I've had in years.
I like solo trip to Hawaii. Used to live there,
so I got friends there, rented a house like amazing,
I could have stayed. I know it fit up to
ten people, four beds for one person. I'm not even
top ten friends. No one got invited. This was a
(01:25):
solo weird trip. It was like a real vacation. I
hadn't had one, um, so I could have come back
later in the week, but I came home early for
the state, so already that's like saying something okay. So
I took the Red Eye. I landed up probably like
(01:47):
six I am, I don't even know, fell asleep, woke up,
and then I looked at my phone as I had
my showers starting, and it said one two, and I
was like, that's crazy. It's I wonder like how my phone,
like what time zone it's on? So evidently daylight savings
have kicked in, okay, So how would I even know
(02:11):
that Hawaii does not have daylight savings? But your phone
changes automatically. I thought it was like in another time zone.
I thought it was like imprue or something. You thought
your phone was was messing up. Yeah. So I even
called my buddy Michael and Hawaii and I was like,
did the time never change? And he was like, Hawai
doesn't have time change. So that's how I know that.
(02:32):
I haven't googled it either, you know, Michael says it,
and so I'm like, oh my god, this is so bad.
Hurry shower like the best I can with what I
look like. I don't have a car because when I
left for the airport, I left the car at my
parents house, so uber to go see Derek and and
(02:56):
they're a little late. Also one more thing, the other
argument that I'm going to just defend you. Guys were
like it's been a week, Like, how did you not
know a whole week has gone by? Because I'm amish,
which we found out why talking to Derek, right, But
I've been telling you that all along. I never looked
at my phone. I also wasn't speaking to anyone. I
(03:18):
had it on airplane mode the entire trip. I didn't
talk to my parents, like, no one, So no one's
going to text me and be like, hey, the time
changed in l A, what are you up to? You know,
it's like weird. So you show up to the day
with Derek like an hour and a half late, very apologetic.
Yeah that's fine, but hold on, I want to talk
about last episode because you were supposed to be here
(03:39):
and we couldn't find you. Yeah, and we called your
phone and s like like the concierge at the Beverly
Hills Country Club was like, yeah, I don't know we
found this phone. People that were legit tweeting to us
being like, wait, is Steph alive or not? What happened? Dude?
I was scared. Bet no, there's okay. You are so
(04:02):
helpless if you okay, So I little okay, I swarm
in and stop saying it. But I don't have WiFi
at my place here, no internet. I don't have any
of that you need. You need to get that, I don't.
I live in London, so like do I live here? Though, Okay,
I'll get it. Um. So I didn't have internet. I couldn't,
(04:24):
you know, go on my computer to call an uber
to get to work. I knew I had to be
at work and obviously didn't have a phone. I didn't
have a car to just get in the car. And
yes I do know how to get here without ways.
I use ways as a safety crutch, but I could
drive here with that ways And so literally no car,
no phone, no WiFi. I was just like sitting on
(04:45):
my sofa just like this is wild. I wonder what
they're talking about, Like I hope they are talking and
not still waiting for me. So it was very scary.
And I also had no idea where it was. So
I was like texting the butler, being like, do you
see that Kathy's how was anywhere? How are you texting
a butler? Oh? So this is what I figured out
to do that night. But next day wait, no, Monday night. Um,
(05:09):
I got my British Phoney UK phone and I turned
on data roaming. Yeah, so I was able to text
Butler and Nikky and like, you guys are my phone? Is?
I haven't lost his cell phone in twenty years. Actually,
I don't even know if I've ever lost one. So
I was drunk. Okay, they That's what I was gonna be, like,
(05:32):
just admit it. What happened was is you got drunk?
Oh my god? No, it was literally with Derek. I
barely remember getting dressed and arriving. Holy you didn't lose
your phone with Derek. You lost your phone? That's when
I got drunk. Yeah you also, I feel like you
also were drunk at the Hilton party. Oh yeah, okay,
I done me to continue drinking. I wish I had
(05:54):
known when I sat down that I was already wasted. Also,
it wasn't a party, it was a small family dinner.
And yeah, did which by the way I'm we're gonna
talk about it, but I was a little I was
a little sad that you didn't invite Derek to a
very small family Hilton dinner because I'm sure that would
be weird. So we we looked it up and we
(06:14):
found ten simple hacks that will keep you from losing
your phone, and I thought we should read them out
to to you and everyone else. This is this is
It's for you mainly, but also for everyone else. Uh.
Number one, um, use time silent mode so that later,
(06:36):
even if you forgot your phone, turns on the ring
or automatically. Even I didn't know that existed either. I
think this is kind of cool. You can turn a
time silent mode on so even like you said you
wanted on airplane mode or whatever, you can have it
be on silent and then after like five hours, it
turns on the ringer so you can call it and
find it if you lose it. It's kind of interesting.
(06:58):
Number two, invest in docking stand. Always place your phone
in it when you're not using it. Okay, this is ridiculous.
Number three. Number three, before you get slashed the party,
hand your beloved gadget to a friend who plans on
staying sober through the night. I don't have any of
those friends. Everyone needs a d D for their phone nowadays. Uh.
(07:22):
Number four, invest in a hand set insurance solution that
can offer protection from damage, theft, and malware. I don't
know if that's really necessary, but it's a thing, Okay.
I like this one. Number five. Put your name and
emergency contact number on your phone's lock screen or wallpaper.
I was thinking of that. Actually, I was thinking of
(07:43):
making a label. But that looks that's gonna be way
cooler than a label on the back of my phone. Yeah,
my dad has that. Yeah you should. It's good. It's
a good idea. Number six. Never put your phone in
your back pocket never, which I do that all the time.
I don't really understand, but I guess you can slip out.
Number seven, Get a top of the line armored case
(08:04):
for your phone so that it becomes impossible for someone
to nicke it from your pocket stealthily. My phone won't
fit in the pocket. My phone fell out the back
pocket right into a porta potty. Really, did you go
swimming after I had to? Yeah? You got to. I
had to, dude. I have a funny story about that too,
tell it. I had to reach into the Thank god,
it was one of those fancier porta potti is not
(08:25):
like a yucky super yucky want to Coachell or something.
But ye, hand went right in. Yeah I got it.
Oh that's a deep it's a deep dive in there. Yeah.
Maybe eighties seven white piece. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I did
the same thing. I was at the bar in Nashville,
and uh, I have bubble guts that day. Let's just
be fair, like something's happened bubble guts. I just bad
(08:48):
things were happening in the old gut Gut region and
all Mandu. So I was at the bar. I ran
across the street to the gas station, and you know
how like there's a tank above the the toilet. Um,
I took my jacket off and put it on the
tank behind the toilet, and I had my phone like
in the pocket, and I and I had I had diarrhea.
(09:11):
Let's just say it, just say what it is, you freak.
So then they had no there was no So I
had to get like the paper towel from like the
washer hands. So I got up and so yeah, so
(09:34):
I got up to do that. I had I had
to crab walk, you know, over to it and get it.
And then I was trying to clean things up and um,
and I saw flushed at this point, no, no, no, no.
I tried to flush, but because it was the it
was the paper, it got clogged. So it was just
diarrhea and paper towels. And at that point I was like, well,
(09:55):
I got to flee the scene immediately. So I grabbed
my jacket and try to put it on, like you know,
like let's go, and my phone flies up and then
boom right in the dirty Diary of one. And I
was like, I don't have to do Actually, I knew
what I had to do, and after it, baby, no,
(10:15):
I'd leave it. And I told I told my brother
that story once and he was like, I've used your
phone so many times. All right onward number eight. Invest
in a good power bank so you don't have to
leave your phone unattended while it's charging. Pink. Oh so
(10:38):
you've got a MOFI always yeah. Yeah, So that's a
smart one because a lot of people like plug their
phone into like a bar or something. They walk out
like like at the bar, and then they always have
a battery pack and it's the size of a candy bar.
Always have it. That's a good one because I don't
trust iPhones. I feel like when they want you to upgrade,
they start decreasing your like power and yeah that they
(11:00):
send like some sort of like virus in Yeah, first
setting like you've got twenty minutes and then you're on red. Okay,
real quick. Number nine, create a timely ritual. I can
alarm a gaming session or something. This will help you
keep checking your phone after every few hours, which he
was an amish person should do. Um. And number ten,
turn on the Android Device Manager or the Find my
(11:21):
Phone service on your phone to help you track the
device in case you lose it. That's what I want
to do. Everyone's like, did you do find my phone?
I was like no, no, is that my mom is
always trying to find my phone? Like I was like,
let's buddy up on this, and I was like, no,
you can't stop me. Yeah. So I always thought it
was that No, no, no no, it's so you can find
it anyways. Um okay, so hold on, put your phone down,
(11:45):
and you need to pay attention right now. Remind me
to do that. I will, I promise, trust me, I promise.
This is important. To my livelihood as well. Uh, step you,
we set you up on a date with my good
buddy Derek. He flew out from New York. You, guys,
what I assume had a wonderful time. I want to
hear your side of the story. But we have Dr
(12:06):
gold Share on the phone right now. She was here
a couple episodes ago trying to break down, breakthrough and
understand what your deal is with your with your single life.
So we're all three gonna sit and talk about your
date together. Okay, okay, did the doctor here the last
podcast of Derek's take on the date? Did you hear it?
(12:28):
I heard, Hi, guys, good to be here again. I
heard briefly, I heard a summary. Okay, okay, great, Well,
let's just start by hearing your side of the date.
You show up an hour and a half late. I mean,
why are we doing that? Because it's a part of
this It's a part of what happened. The listeners know. Yes,
(12:51):
So let's just start there. So you get there, walk in,
walk in, take it from there. Uh And I see
a guy sitting by himself. No, that's for me. Go
to the booth, sit in, And I'm so curious what
Dr Goldscher has to say about this evidently, and like
I did, I didn't even realize it. I sat as
(13:12):
far away as possible from him. What do you make
of that? What were your feelings kind of going in?
Were you nervous? Were you excited? No? I, unlike Derek,
this was not my first blind date. I love dating
and going on dating shows. My parents went on blind date.
I'm all about the blind dates. So it wasn't like,
(13:33):
you know, he smelled or I was nervous or you know,
there's nothing like that. That's just where I felt comfortable
being that far away, and I was trying to figure
out why. And I think maybe it's because I'm used
to working, and so I'm always like in an interview,
see in a way. I don't know what do you
think I mean? I mean, certainly it feels like a
(13:55):
way too, I mean unconsciously ward off connection and intimacy.
It doesn't sound like that's always how you move through
the world. But maybe there's a part of you that
is just slightly defensive in those moments that at first
at least or do you think it's like I love
my Space? Do you think it's that you just love
(14:16):
your space. I didn't realize I did it until I
heard the podcast and he mentioned it, and I was like, whoa,
that was a thing well, like you know, um they
say that like a body language tells a lot, like
if you have your arms crossed, like how you're actually
sitting right now, it's like a defense mechanism from like
way back in the Neanderthal days that people dating therapists
(14:38):
on the line across. But like it was a thing
that you would you you're you're covering your in you know,
your vital organs or you're protecting yourself, and that that's
something that like shows up now as if these evolved
um humans, And I wonder if that's just kind of
the same thing, like sitting far away as you're protecting
yourself because there's distance. I don't know. Yeah, I agree
(15:03):
with that. I agree with all of them. Yeah, I mean,
and particularly since you aren't aware of it, then we
can guess it. It It really is subconscious, you know. And
so even if your mindset going in isn't feeling nervous
or cut off or not interested or not open, there's
like some part of you. And it's good to notice
that there's some part of you that is feeling a
(15:24):
bit closed off. Thank god Derek noticed it, because I did.
What were your first impressions of Derek, Because when we
showed you a picture on the show, you, um, you
were like, not, he's not my type, He's not my type. Um.
He had golrgeous eyes that were, um, you know, a
(15:45):
little foggy from all the alcohol he had to drink
while he waited for me. Uh. Well that was the thing,
Like I got to the table and he's got all
these glasses there, and I'm not one to drink at lunch. Uh.
And I also drink drink in l A, which is
really weird. I mean, I drink when I'm filming for
the Hills, and I drink on Halloween if I'm in
town for Halloween. But generally I don't drink here. Um.
(16:10):
It was lucky that I had taken an uber since
you know, obviously I wanted to make him feel, you know, comfortable.
So I got a drink at a Mimosa and I
had a bloody Mary. Then I said to the fuck
you guys don't need to now, okay, um, And we
had like a really good conversation. It was just like
back and forth, like he's really interesting. We're laughing. I could,
(16:33):
you know, bust his balls, you could bust mine. Um, yeah,
it was, it was. It was great. He's a great guy.
I told you, I said, like a great guy. So
when when you saw him in person, did you still
feel like he wasn't your type? Yeah, but he's pretty.
(16:57):
It's weird. So like now that you've hung out with
him as here tight, like, I guess I'm confused as
to like, I don't know. I think I need to
hang out with him again, because you know, we were
so hyped up on St. Patrick's Day. We both love
that holiday. Yeah, well it's a fun holiday. And also
so when we were there and like we're getting the checks,
they're kicking us out. Um I felt so bad about
(17:20):
what had happened that I was like, why don't we
go do an Irish pub crawl? Like I went to
show him a good time since he was like getting
on the red eye that night. So like as if
you know, I haven't lived here in six years in June,
as if I know where Irish pubs are, so we're
like googling them. We get an uber, we go to one,
and um, I did not leave my wallet. I don't
(17:43):
know why. Derek said that. I left my passport, so
I had my wallet and I was paying to you punk.
So I tried to do like the you know, I'm
so sorry, this is so embarrassing, like can I share
my age here and like, you know, very discreetly, and
the guy was like nope, not looking, won't look nope.
(18:05):
And I was like just look and he's like nope,
can't see it, won't look. And I was like, So
then I saw this other guy that was working. It
was like packed in there, and I was like, I'm
really sorry, but the guy at the doors really mean
um like I'm thirty two, blah blah, and he was like,
oh Steph, prod your dad's might dentists. So we got
in that way, but then we walked to another Oh
(18:29):
and we made friends. That's something I do all the time,
is make friends. In fact, I made a friend in
Hawaii and I just invited her out here to stay
with me. I don't know her that well, she's staying
with me tonight, right. I love making friends. I really
trust strangers more than people. I know, Yeah, maybe not
do that, but okay, okay, so then we can hip
(18:51):
of let's let's hone in stuff. What were the things
about him that you What were the things about him
we're compelling because it sounded like when we were altogether before,
you didn't feel that excited or interested. So what was
compelling about him? He is everything a man in his
(19:13):
thirties should be. Wow, what does that mean? Take notes? Well,
he is I mean he has his own job, he's confident,
he has credit card, he he you know, talks about
(19:34):
his family, he's into family, talks about his friends, has friends,
you know, very career driven, super honest about the shows
that he was on in his past. Um, just normal,
you know, like didn't care about social media, wasn't like,
you know, wearing makeup. Definitely definitely got the straight vibes.
(19:59):
That was great because I don't really get there's that
often in l a um and yeah, he just like
had it all going on for him. Good teeth, pretty eyes,
great outfit. So you found your did he become more
i mean your quote type or maybe by the way
to say, did you start to feel attracted to him
(20:22):
as you came to know these qualities about him? Definitely
when we're at the pubs, because I saw like such
a playful side, but he was touching and grabbing a lot.
Yeah yeah, and don't like that or did you like that? Well,
I'm really insecure with my body. So and this just
happened in Hawaii's wall with this other guy. Like when
(20:43):
they start getting touchy, I like kind of like wiggle
and squirm. So I was very aware of the wiggling
and squirming. But we made friends like this group, and yes,
the green lipstick came out and um, yeah, I don't know,
I've got to see him again like sober. Yeah, yeah,
we're taking so many shots as well. I don't know,
(21:07):
have you have you ever dated someone like him before?
No kind of m someone put together in perfect No. Well, see,
this is what I was saying when we we had
the doc on last time, was that what you think
your type is may not really be your type because
that type has always been a failure, Like it's never
(21:29):
worked out right, And maybe what you need to do
is shift that ideology of what your type is to
something that would be successful. Like but I say, I
want all those attributes in a man, Yeah, but the
type is much more of like yeah, I guess you're right.
I don't know, but you guys, did mean it's important
(21:52):
to note and sort of a healthy thing to note
that it appears that he has a lot of qualities
that are healthy and potentially good for you, and you're
still open because I think we sort of had a
HYPROFESSI is that maybe you wouldn't be open if that
kind of guy came along. You know, that's a part
of you might be afraid to actually be intimate and
(22:13):
vulnerable with someone who's really available. Well, as long as
I know they have their own career and their own
independent money, I will be open. Yeah, that's what I
just can't they surfer bums. Speaking of intimacy, you guys
did make out a couple of times. We wanted to
try my green lipstick? Did you want him to try there?
(22:40):
But yes? How was it like it felt normal but
not normally just like the's like dull. Obviously we're going
to make out, having great time together. Was it a
good kiss? Is what I'm asking? Yes? Good enough for
a second? Oh yeah, because there worse two there might
(23:01):
have even more. Honestly, we had so many shots and
his face was like green with lipstick and he wasn't
wearing green, so he's getting Yeah, What do you think about, doc,
What do you think about um, like making out and
having intimacy um, like on a first date, a blind
date like that. Yeah. I mean in the scenario you're describing,
(23:25):
it sounds like it was all part of the spirit
of the date, you know, And it sounds like it
was sort of innocent, fun and kind of why not. Yeah.
The guy that I dated for a couple of weeks
before this, we went on not dated. We went on
two dates and I never kissed him. Fickle fickle little kisser.
(23:47):
I am, Well, it just depends on the guy. So
have you guys been in touch since the date? Oh? Man,
I feel so bad. Well, I didn't have my phone
the next day, and then he texted me on Tuesday,
what are you doing tonight? And I was like, oh
my god, are you in l A. Which I was like,
oh my god, he's crazy. If he'd come back to
(24:09):
l A. I was like so scared for my life.
And he was like, no, no, no no, I'm here. I
just like I want to talk on the phone tonight,
which was like so cute. Um, But I was going
to dinner with my parents because we hadn't spoken in
a few weeks. So I was like, actually got a dinner,
a big dinner tonight, and he was like, you knows
two parents they made you, which I really love because
(24:29):
I am so about rooting for parents, even though like
I was in a fight with mine. But like I
loved that about him. Um, and then he texted me again.
He said he stalked my Instagram and sent me a
photo of him like on walruses or something. Um. But yeah,
(24:51):
but again, like I already feel like I'm not in prison,
but like I've got another job now, and what is
that job? Texting someone? Really? Yeah, it really does bring
up some of those filings, a sense of obligation and responsibility. Well,
(25:12):
if you put it that way, responsibility, I'm yeah, it's
really hard for me to give people time. Uh huh.
And do you feel that way with that end up
falling into that to use your trunk kind of bum category.
(25:33):
I think the reason I'm like that now is because
I look back and there's so many opportunities that I
missed because of a guy that I was dating, or
you know, a job that I didn't take, a dating
show I didn't go on, and then you know, just
to be cheated on like two weeks later. So there's
been so many things that I've missed because I've put
(25:53):
someone that I care about before and it's always been
in you know, I look back and I regret it completely.
So I'm just at this point where I'm like, I'm
not going to let any guy really change my path
right now. M hm. So I I just I'm mad
at myself for giving up so much, for all these
(26:14):
dumb little mm hmm. You know, I think I mean,
it's definitely it's definitely a longer conversation, but I think
those two things can coexist, you know, the idea that
you can hold on to your self, your independence and
growing your career and your internal life and all of
(26:36):
that and still be connected to someone else. You know,
I think it sounds like somehow along the way, besides
the fact that you ended up with people who didn't
have good intentions, that it started to feel like that
wasn't possible. And you know, the idea of a good
relationship is that is that those things co exist really beautiful,
you know, and you kind of lift each other up.
(26:56):
If we have to help you find that paradigm again.
I also, I'm really scared that to get into a
relationship now that I've been you know, thinking so much
and talking about it with you guys so much, because
I'm scared that's going to change how people look at
me or you know, my role on the Hills. I
(27:19):
just do you think that they're going to kick you
off the show because you have a boyfriend? No, but
I like being the single girl on the show. I
think having I don't know, I'm just I'm worried that
things will change. Yeah. That that's another tricky element is
to have kind of part of your public and professional person. Yeah, right, Yeah,
(27:43):
that makes sense. That's it. In a sense, there would
be a loss, you know, kind of some agree for
a loss associated with really truly giving up that role
to be something to think about and work through. That's
what it totally is. It is a role, and like
you know, it's very Yeah, but that means that means
(28:04):
there's no character arc for your storyline, which makes for
non compelling television. If you're always the same thing, then
it's boring to grow. I do and and and also
if I was a producer on this show, I'd be like,
this would be great if she actually felt something for
(28:26):
someone else, Like I don't think that. I think it's
crazy to think that your success on the hills is
dependent upon your loneliness, Okay, honeliness, independence, potato, potato, whatever
you want to say. Like, but going back to like
what you were saying, Uh, you're the doc was saying
(28:49):
that you can have both, and I would say, like,
I'm a very good example of that, where yes, I
have I'm in a relationship and I have to give
a lot of myself to that person and it takes
away from other things that would work, that I could
be working on or whatever. Um, but it also opens
(29:10):
doors to other fun experiences and adventures and even work
for that matter, that weren't there beforehand. But when you
first started dating Sarah, where you like, this is who
I'm going to end up with, this is who I'm
going to marry, because that changes everything. It's like you
know that this person is more important than everything. No,
I don't know if I thought if I was like
(29:31):
immediately like I'm gonna get married to this person, But
I think I I thought that there was a potential
for that, and um, it was worth exploring, you know.
And maybe that's not how you feel about there. I
totally understand that but no, I definitely do. But then
like I get cold a tease, Yeah, well you're not
(29:53):
teach you guys made out three times that night like
later tease, Yeah, because I don't know, you know, um
if I go on a few more dates with him
and then all of a sudden, I start ghosting, like yeah, yeah,
I don't want to look anyone on and I feel
like I do not Well, we gotta we got we
gotta get Derek on the show. Do you have any
(30:16):
any kind of final thoughts, words, um bits of advice
for staff. I think it's really important for us that
has to follow herself in the process. You know, even
though we're making this podcast in this moment, there's kind
of a whole emotional um journey that we're talking about
(30:37):
and that you're embarking on, you know, really trying to
figure out as disappoint in your life where you're actually
open And I'm not talking about like it has to
be Derek, but are you available for a real connected
internet relationship and kind of what happens to you if
you start to become connected with someone and the trust
issues that are there and your fears are kind of
losing your core and all those things. These are just
(30:58):
so central to uh your growth right now. So I
would just say, like, follow yourself in the process so
you can discover of what comes up for you, what
vulnerability is, what fear is, what strength? To help yourself
prepare for all the wonderful things you have in front
of your relationships, career stuff like, you can have it all.
You just have to track yourself emotionally, you know, So
(31:21):
what do we do it on the podcast or some
other way? Um, that's what I would recommend, But I
I feel good about your possibilities. I just think you
have to follow yourself. Okay, I'm definitely gonna take that
advice and be more aware when I'm in these situations
of how I'm feeling, what I'm thinking. That's it, because
I think if you keep sort of cutting it off,
you you just don't get to continue to discover. We
(31:44):
don't have like an answer in this moment, but something
is in the way of you being fully open whether
or not it's right for you to get married like
the next month or like in five years, and that
feels so central and core for you to understand, you know.
Dr Goulch, thank you so much for coming on the
podcast again today and for helping my dating books. It's
(32:05):
my pleasure and I'm happy to help you track in
the future. I'm sure we'll be calling you again soon.
I gotta feeling you will. If you guys want to
get in touch with Dr Hillary Hillary Goldcher, you can
Dr Hillary Goldcher uh dot com in Beverly Hills. You
rock due, Thank you so much. Thanks? All right, Probably, man,
(32:29):
therapy is tough, but she said it was perfect and
I need to change. Yeah, that's one of the one
of the things I think that you need to work
on is listening. Yeah, exactly. All right, So we're gonna
get Derek on the line. I want to hear like
kind of like his thoughts on the day with you
in the room. You guys are gonna talk about it.
Well all right, but first quick break, we'll be right
(32:51):
back with Derek Paith. Derek you there, what's up man,
Hey buddy, Derek, Hey, stuff A long time, so long
except I thought you flew back in when you texted
me on Tuesday. Yeah, No, I'm not quiet, all right,
(33:14):
So I'm missing I missed a kind of actually not
so I heard the podcast, Derek. Can I just say
I've already told Wells and our listeners, I didn't have
my wallet. It was my passport that I didn't have.
You're right, yes, okay. And then the other thing is
(33:34):
when I don't want anyone to think I'm like going
to because I'm like all the independent, like you know,
career of woman. No, you're right, actually, because I I
remembered even after the fact um when you said it
then that yeah, after I said it, that there was
like a whole uh exchange where like we were trying
(33:57):
to get at the second place we went. We're trying
when we were getting like the drinks for the other
people we were with, where you did You're like, no, no, no,
I've got this. I did forget about that. Thank you.
See people, I'm not horrible. And then the other thing,
it is, the other thing is when we went to
that second pub because whoever that girl was on the
(34:19):
podcast like bashed me at the end of it about
this Wikipedia thing. First of all, I think it is disgusting.
Wait what now, I think like the wicked the girl
that bashed me. Okay, I think it's like anyone that
does that is like definitely douche man or woman. But
(34:42):
I had felt so bad for you know, coming so late.
I wanted to show you good time. We had so much.
One of the first place we made these friends, like
there was I was not going to be refused going
into that pub to show you a good time. So
I how how quiet was I when I said it?
I said, like the man, I was like, I'm so sorry.
(35:02):
This is literally embarrassing. I hate myself. But this guy
is in town, he's leaving tonight. This isn't how old
I am. This is my Wikipedia, I don't have my
pass for I'm so sorry. And he said, he goes,
You're fine, You're fine. Uh, you're actually, like you said it,
a lot nicer than most people. Yeah, it wasn't like hey,
famous girl, let me come in. No, no, no. The
(35:24):
first exactly agree. Um, Like I said, like, that wasn't
a turn off to me because you weren't like being
a jerk about it, you know. And uh the second
place he went, the guy totally was like usually I
would say no, but the way that you said that
was like really nice and apologetic. Um. The first The
(35:45):
first guy was the funny part though, because he was
like not having it at all. I'm selling balls. He's
like nope, not looking well, looking like his eyes closed. Yeah,
he was like two cranky. Yeah, you know, and like
you're trying to give a dog a pill and it
just like moves its head. You're just like totally completely
(36:06):
avoiding it. I'm acting right now. No, but seven, I
have had a good time sending letters back and forth
because that's how the Amish talk. This last week, yes,
with with our falcons, I just showed well as that
photo that you sent me of you being a walrus
on the rocks, Oh yeah, that's a good old one. Um.
(36:32):
So I had a great time. I mean, as I said,
as I said last week, I really did too. It's uh,
it's so weird. So like I've noticed this, um, and
this is such a unique situation where we're just like
openly talking about this with other people listening. All right,
(36:55):
I guess mine too. But it's so weird, Like no, no, no,
well just because of the fact that I've done some
of this as well. Um yeah, but like it's so
weird trying to as like an adult now that we
we have like stuff going on constantly, and like you know,
you think back to when you're like younger and you
(37:17):
meet somebody and you like have a good time and
literally the next day you can just be like, oh yeah,
let's just like skip this class and go hang out,
you know, go do some like stupid kids thing. And
it is like really hard to get in touch. And
then especially like being three hours away from somebody, you know,
we've like we struggled to get in contact a little bit,
(37:37):
which is like that's that, that's that second part of like, Okay,
I had a good time with this person. Like maybe
maybe like you know, we'll see I don't know who
knows that there's something there or not yet. But um,
like the actual act of trying to like get back
in touch with them can be so weird as you
get older. Why because it's just like there's a there's
(38:00):
stuff that happens. It gets in a way. I think,
who do you think is guilty of the not getting
in touch with the other or is it a mutual thing? Uh?
Well I did. I did try like straight, but um,
I think it's it is pretty mutual in this case.
I Mean, here's the thing, like, obviously you're busy, I'm busy.
(38:22):
We've gone on one day, you're on the other side
of the country. It would be really weird if I
was texting and talking to you like every day, because
then I'm I don't know if I think that's really weird,
because then I'm already like putting all my eggs in
a basket and like, and then when we see each
other again, it's going to be like one of those
weird catfish dating things where it's like we know each
(38:45):
other so much, we probably are could be in a
serious relationship. We've been in one over text, like, so
do we get married next time we see each other?
So your thing, you're moving very fast, So that's what
I'm here for. Is this not the So your thing
is you want the actual relationship and the text relationship
(39:06):
to move the same pace. Okay, I understand that that's
actually a totally fair thing to say. Yes, oh my god,
you nail that. Okay, But so I guess this, like
I've talked to both of you guys now, um and
you both seemed to be into it, like you both
had fun, uh you guys kissed or whatever. Um Um,
(39:27):
I guess my question is do you do you want
to do another date? Like? Is is there another date? Okay? Absolutely, Derek,
Oh for sure. Yeah, yeah, I told you that so so, Steph,
I don't know if you you did listen to the podcast.
So for me, like I'm very quick to know, like no,
definitely not with people. And uh, the tough thing for
(39:51):
me is like beyond that, knowing like what to think
or what to feel, and like I definitely didn't at
all feel there was a no you know, it was
like very tracted to you and we had tons of fun.
And then like any case like that, why of course
I would want to see that person again. Yeah? Did
oh we didn't like the best date for your first
(40:13):
blind date, like that was legit. You're not going to
have another blind date that fun, just saying, oh, look
at she's already trying to like make sure I don't
go on another blind date. And oh my god, I
listen to the podcast this Holly chick, you're like dating her?
Did you know that that had happened? Yes, you like
couldn't wait to tell me it was like this girl
(40:35):
over there. However, what you actually said, remember because it
came out later. I can't remember what I say you
because it's like it was in my pocket and I
like grabbed it and I was like, oh, yeah it
was it was no Jo was like four hours later,
and and you turned to the people who were with
and you're like, oh, if that was me, I would
(40:56):
have thrown it in his face round wait yeah, Like
so it was like three or four hours later. Black
were you? At this point it was saying I didn't
even get to the Beverly Hills Polo Club or wherever
you were, and I was on time. So that other
thing from the podcast I'm Always on time was I today. No,
(41:20):
I was eight minutes late. But I pride myself on
always being on time because my time is not more
important than anyway. It annoys me when people are ye,
I'm wait, I don't understand. So you had the receipt
fallout so I could see it, and I said I
(41:41):
should throw it at you. No, no, no, you said,
if you were like you turned who, I don't even
remember your friends, Simon, Emily and the crew Emily that
was her name. I remembered Simon's name. I couldn't remember
her name. Um, yeah, you're like, oh, if that was me,
because you showed up late, if you were like in
my place, you would have right away, Ben like, oh,
(42:04):
I could have gotten out a date with Holly instead.
But I'm still not understanding this. Was this something nice
or something it was only really nice. I think what
he's saying is that you turned to the other girl
and was explaining like that this girl went out of
her way to leave a note, and after you showing
(42:24):
up late, you that Derek should have gone on a
date with Holly right like that. You said, listen, I'm
just shooting my own horn here. Okay, So that's just happened.
That's what I was thinking was going on. I just
wanted to understand my part in this. Yeah, I'm it
was like it was nice that you also like said
(42:45):
that that was a good thing, you know, that was
that's a really nice thing. But I wouldn't have been
shocked if Amy or Well said he's gone. He waited
an hour and left with another diner. You don't understand
how close he was to leave evening because he's texting
me being like they're closing the kitchen. Dude, I don't
know what to do. Right when I got there there
(43:06):
like we're closing the kitchen. Do you want anything? Uh No.
I would have never waited that long, oh wow, But
for Derek, I would have just like Derek said, because
of our connection with Wells. Yeah, look at look at
the power you have Wells. I have to work with him,
so we can't be cat fighting. That's all right. So
(43:29):
here's the deal. You guys are going to go another date.
So we got to figure that out. Like you you
heard in the last podcast, Derek said it'd be great
if you went to New York and they thought he
thought it'd be fun to do like a New York
date thing. Would you be would you be down for that? Absolutely? Um? Yeah,
we'd have to work on dates though with filming, Yeah, exactly.
(43:50):
The cameras there, you got that? Yeah, that that sounds
like a hefty as there. Um. I mean we can
figure it out. It doesn't have to be York. I
was just you know, no, that'd be so much more
fun though. Okay, cool, I'm glad you're down either way.
We'll figure it out. You guys good. I love it much.
(44:13):
I can't wait to get your next Falcon stuff. Oh yes,
oh my god, I'll be working on my calligraphy later.
I have a new indepen. You guys are both the
biggest dorks I've ever heard in my life. I'm sorry,
but Derek, I remember you saying that you were quite
amish too. Oh yeah, yeah, we found each other the
(44:35):
two left in your New York. Yeah didn't Wait wait
did step I'll tell you the story about my Halloween cossume.
Maybe no, I don't think I did. Actually, um, I'm
guessing we're amish. Yeah, alright, he's meant to be Derek.
(44:57):
So my senior year of college, I was like, like
right before the school year, my best friend and I
was just like, let's grow our hair out and uh.
And then like a month later, I go, why don't
we just grow our beards out too? When are we
gonna ever do this again? Um? You know? And he's
like an army now, so same thing, Like we're both, um,
we're both we both need to look cleaned up a
little bit. Anyway. Um, Like five months later, he just
(45:20):
like comes and slams in the door and he's like,
I know we're gonna be for Halloween. And there was amish.
There was amish crew building a garage like two doors
down from me. Uh. And he went and bought like
the blue shirts, two suspenders. I like shaved off my mustache.
I looked horrible. But can you text the photo right now? Uh? Yeah,
(45:43):
it might take me a little bit crazy. You guys
are so cute, Like now now I want a psychic
to come on. Oh, I feel like I've already worked
through all my dr goldscher. Yeah. I was just on
(46:04):
the phone with her. We're good to go. Wait, so
there was a there was who was on? There was
somebody on before? Yeah, we have a therapist that comes
on and talks to uh stuff about her kind of
wells and stuff, both of us. Yeah, honestly, I've had
some very like therapist conversations as well as before two.
Oh so you got issues. I am a human being.
(46:28):
We all love that answer. I've had a therapist that
was ten. Yeah. Usually includes like a couple nips of bourbon.
And that's very true. That's very true. There was there
was a night. We won't give you the details, but
there was a night where we were in a hotel
together and we ended up the bar closed and we
(46:50):
bought the bottle of from the bar. So we can
con continue. Are I do that class? Class? Hey? Wells,
can I see your phone? I want to see the
text messages that you have. Oh no, no, let me
see the trail, No way, let me see do me
to read it to you. I'll read it, okay, read
(47:13):
after the date, read when we're on the date. Okay,
hold on, So this is Derek. You okay with this? Yeah?
I'm fine. I don't even remember, oh like what I said.
But I texted you guys like before him. No, just
you and well's your little child? After the date? We
like called on the phone. There's probably not too much
on here. You did leave, I don't leave no receipts stuff. Yeah,
(47:40):
we did just talk on the phone. Uh, this is
what he said. He says, Okay, that's something goes um
what he wrote? Am I being punked? L O L
fifteen minutes late? Dot dot dot? And I said, already
off to the great start. And then Derek said, I
(48:01):
sense Amy planned this. Yeah. I thought I thought Amy
like planned for me to for you to show up late.
You know what. That's because you've been on reality TV
because we know producers. Yeah, that's all we thought. We
thought Tory was the one who was being holly, but
but that's not the case. Yeah, I'm sure Steph like
(48:23):
you and I both have trust issues for sure with
that stuff. Something starts and you're like, who's doing this?
Who's pulling these strings or like when they like make
me wait like forty five minutes and like you're doing this,
so I get grumpy and cranky. So I go in.
They're all like mad and angry, like you're winding me
up on purpose. That's just me being crazy, all right,
(48:46):
Well as you're grinning over there smirking. Okay, so here. Um.
So this this was the text chain where where we
were like concerned that you just were going to show up,
and I was going to say the one between you
me and Amy from it has more yeah. Um. So
this is you're You're saying I'm gonna get drunk, and
(49:07):
then Amy's like, anything, you want to stay there? And
then you said I'm not really drunk, by the way, um,
and then Amy said you can leave in five minutes. Um.
And then you wrote she's here, um, and then yeah exactly,
and then an hour later you wrote I mean she's fun,
(49:28):
and then Amy wrote I know, and then Derek said
I'm sort of interested. Uh, and then Amy said that's
a great problem and I just said wow, uh after
waiting that long, and then Amy said, oh man, she's
so fun and so cute, and then Derek in all
caps let me live. Well, stop, stop, why are we
(49:50):
so drunk? Derek, You're so funny? Like I wish you
did live closer. That was basically, and then the next
one was with you being like, hey, we want to
change his flight because I want to spend more time
with them. Yeah, he's mouth. I don't remember that. Oh
(50:12):
my god, you were black out? Oh my god. Well
I remember how I hit my head. I think I
had a slight concussion. Did you felt the bump? Yeah,
that's Cupid's arrow slamming into your head. You know that
was a parking sign. Well? Also, um, all right, well
(50:34):
you guys, su y'all? Did you did good? Well? I
know I told you you need to listen to me
more often, honestly, Like, Derek is a one beautiful man
and he's just a normal guy who has like a
finance job and has piercing baby blue eyes. So it
(50:57):
sounds like, wells and I will be fighting for your affection.
But no, when I've said it before, when I get married,
Derek's gonna be my wedding. He's a very important person
in my life. So don't with him. Are you saying
I'm only coming to your wedding if I'm Derek state, No,
you're of course being invited, obviously. I'm just I'm just
trying to make context of like, Derek's an important person
(51:21):
in my life. So, um giving the like dad shotgun talking. Yes,
I'm cleaning my Winchester right now. Do don't hurt my baby, Derek? Okay,
him back before, Yes, feed on the floor, kids, door open. Um. Okay, Derek,
we're gonna let you go. Man, I just got that
(51:42):
feel that's so funny. Did your dad say that? Yeah?
For sure? Yeah? Um okay, So we're gonna set up
a second day, okay, Derek. Also, how good does like
texting and you know, talking the same pace as dates?
What do you mean, like the seriousness of the relationship
needs to be reflected in texting, So if you're not,
(52:05):
does that make sense? Yeah? I like that. I'm always
scared that if we talk too much, we get to
know each other too much, and then it's like, I mean,
well else can you put it in like normal terms? Yeah,
I'm following. So so I and I like do when
(52:25):
people get too close too quick, Like that's a lot
for me, and I won't because I've got like so
much going on. I'm always like I'm not ready for this,
so like I'm totally good with not overdoing it, you know,
and I'm like trying to find a new part. Like
I've got a ton of things going on, So I'm
totally with you on not like overdoing that at all. Well,
(52:46):
I think we're so similar in that, like we like space.
We talked about that though on our day. Yeah, exactly,
like four thousand miles. Yeah, if it doesn't define space,
I don't know what does. We're on like the same
path path. Yeah, we're in the same place in life,
I think. I agree. Well, okay, here's what we're in doing. Wait.
(53:09):
Also that just made me think the other thing that
Derek was doing, like we were so drawn. We're both
thirty two. We're both thirty two, and I thought like,
either he's dated really old ladies or like children, he's
so excited to be dating some of his own age.
Literally said sometimes we're both thirty two balancers everyone. Yeah,
(53:33):
I was trying to help you, like I was trying
to help you get in the door. Like I was like,
she doesn't have a beard, I know, but like I
swear she's thirty two. Well okay, so that so next
step is we might have to get a psychic in. Okay,
can we do a skype? We could, but it might
be fun to have him come out again for a
(53:56):
second day and then be all in the same room
with the psychic. Love this okay, so we'll work on that.
But you guys text your own speed. But you're a
song I love it, um, Derek, thanks for being on
the show, buddy. Yeah, I mean, like, thanks for setting
(54:17):
me up with a super great girl. Oh my god,
oh thank you. Well know I die. There are so
many moms listening to this podcast being like, oh my god,
that Derek. I know he is someone that like you'd
want to brag to your parents about, like wait till
you meet him, all right, But they're not thirty two.
So hi, guys, thanks for coming on and we'll talk later.
(54:53):
You know, you can fight it all you want. And
I know you're trying to defense mechanism, and I just
feel like we've broken down some walls here stuff. And
I think the you know, I I thought to your
detriment saying like I want to slow down the pace
(55:13):
of texting or whatever. And I think that I was
worried that he was going to not like that or
like think that that was a form of rejection, but um,
it actually made sense. He was like, yeah, I know totally.
I've got a lot of stuff going on to I
think that what he thought is that's the perception of
(55:34):
what a man is supposed to do. You guys go
on a great date, gott you know you don't want
to Ghoster you know? Oh yeah, I definitely. If I
hadn't heard from him after the date, I would have
been like, man, yeah, But now that he knows the rules,
I guess and I think it can be uh, it
can move move along at a healthy pace. And I
(55:56):
just also like not because I'm like slutty in any way,
but I don't want to be now in exclusive. Yeah
I don't know if that's what he wants either. Yeah, okay, good, Um,
not that I've got anyone else today, but you know, yeah,
he also he's he's in New York and he's a
good looking guy, and you're in l A and you're
(56:17):
someone already. No, I'm just saying, who is she new Yorker? Uh?
Damn it? What a pig? Uh No. But I think
I think that, like, I think he's got really realistic
expectations too. So I think that your apprehensions about relationships
(56:38):
or whatever are a little bit unneeded. Right now, I
don't feel them anymore. Okay, but I think we'll we'll
set up another day. I think it'll be fun have
Derek come out. I think the the the the Psychic
would be cool. Yeah, I'd be so fun to have
him in the room with us. We'd be fighting for
his love and then you as can do sex. No, no, no,
(57:06):
miss girls don't have sex fair enough? Um, alright, well
I'm glad that ye glad we got to do this,
you know, pat it on the shoulder for you. Yeah,
we did it, all right, You've got nice friends. I mean,
he is so put together. I told you that he
is the first real man I've met, really after you, like,
(57:28):
literally the first real man man. Don't let this one
get away? Then? Well, I'm saying you want to end
the show? Okay? Do you or you want to say
anything else? No, I'm just like like an idiot smiling
over here. Yeah, I know, I wish this is a
TV show. You could see her blushing hills. Yeah. Shows
(57:51):
over follow Pratt cast on I Heart radio or wherever
you listen to podcasts,
This is I Heart Radios podcast with Stephanie Pratt and
Wells Adams. She I want to meet her? Who the announcer.
It's Tory. It's that girl that was sitting right there.
Isn't it isn't it Dory? It's really good. Yeah we
(00:23):
should she was just here. We should have to make
her do it. All right, welcome everyone into the pradcast. Um,
I'm Wells Adams. I'm alongside Steph Pratt, who is here
and I just want to say alive and well, yeah
I'm here, guys. Um, let's just go over because last episode,
(00:44):
yeah I heard last episode it was a lot of
stuff bashing. That's because you left your phone at the
Beverly Hills Hotel. Right, okay, let me just give you
a quick run down. Give me the run It was
not the hotel, is the country club. So first of all,
(01:05):
I was on my first holiday that I've had in years.
I like solo trip to Hawaii. Used to live there,
so I got friends there, rented a house like amazing,
I could have stayed. I know it fit up to
ten people, four beds for one person. I'm not even
top ten friends. No one got invited. This was a
(01:25):
solo weird trip. It was like a real vacation. I
hadn't had one, um, so I could have come back
later in the week, but I came home early for
the state, so already that's like saying something okay. So
I took the Red Eye. I landed up probably like
(01:47):
six I am, I don't even know, fell asleep, woke up,
and then I looked at my phone as I had
my showers starting, and it said one two, and I
was like, that's crazy. It's I wonder like how my phone,
like what time zone it's on? So evidently daylight savings
have kicked in, okay, So how would I even know
(02:11):
that Hawaii does not have daylight savings? But your phone
changes automatically. I thought it was like in another time zone.
I thought it was like imprue or something. You thought
your phone was was messing up. Yeah. So I even
called my buddy Michael and Hawaii and I was like,
did the time never change? And he was like, Hawai
doesn't have time change. So that's how I know that.
(02:32):
I haven't googled it either, you know, Michael says it,
and so I'm like, oh my god, this is so bad.
Hurry shower like the best I can with what I
look like. I don't have a car because when I
left for the airport, I left the car at my
parents house, so uber to go see Derek and and
(02:56):
they're a little late. Also one more thing, the other
argument that I'm going to just defend you. Guys were
like it's been a week, Like, how did you not
know a whole week has gone by? Because I'm amish,
which we found out why talking to Derek, right, But
I've been telling you that all along. I never looked
at my phone. I also wasn't speaking to anyone. I
(03:18):
had it on airplane mode the entire trip. I didn't
talk to my parents, like, no one, So no one's
going to text me and be like, hey, the time
changed in l A, what are you up to? You know,
it's like weird. So you show up to the day
with Derek like an hour and a half late, very apologetic.
Yeah that's fine, but hold on, I want to talk
about last episode because you were supposed to be here
(03:39):
and we couldn't find you. Yeah, and we called your
phone and s like like the concierge at the Beverly
Hills Country Club was like, yeah, I don't know we
found this phone. People that were legit tweeting to us
being like, wait, is Steph alive or not? What happened? Dude?
I was scared. Bet no, there's okay. You are so
(04:02):
helpless if you okay, So I little okay, I swarm
in and stop saying it. But I don't have WiFi
at my place here, no internet. I don't have any
of that you need. You need to get that, I don't.
I live in London, so like do I live here? Though, Okay,
I'll get it. Um. So I didn't have internet. I couldn't,
(04:24):
you know, go on my computer to call an uber
to get to work. I knew I had to be
at work and obviously didn't have a phone. I didn't
have a car to just get in the car. And
yes I do know how to get here without ways.
I use ways as a safety crutch, but I could
drive here with that ways And so literally no car,
no phone, no WiFi. I was just like sitting on
(04:45):
my sofa just like this is wild. I wonder what
they're talking about, Like I hope they are talking and
not still waiting for me. So it was very scary.
And I also had no idea where it was. So
I was like texting the butler, being like, do you
see that Kathy's how was anywhere? How are you texting
a butler? Oh? So this is what I figured out
to do that night. But next day wait, no, Monday night. Um,
(05:09):
I got my British Phoney UK phone and I turned
on data roaming. Yeah, so I was able to text
Butler and Nikky and like, you guys are my phone? Is?
I haven't lost his cell phone in twenty years. Actually,
I don't even know if I've ever lost one. So
I was drunk. Okay, they That's what I was gonna be, like,
(05:32):
just admit it. What happened was is you got drunk?
Oh my god? No, it was literally with Derek. I
barely remember getting dressed and arriving. Holy you didn't lose
your phone with Derek. You lost your phone? That's when
I got drunk. Yeah you also, I feel like you
also were drunk at the Hilton party. Oh yeah, okay,
I done me to continue drinking. I wish I had
(05:54):
known when I sat down that I was already wasted. Also,
it wasn't a party, it was a small family dinner.
And yeah, did which by the way I'm we're gonna
talk about it, but I was a little I was
a little sad that you didn't invite Derek to a
very small family Hilton dinner because I'm sure that would
be weird. So we we looked it up and we
(06:14):
found ten simple hacks that will keep you from losing
your phone, and I thought we should read them out
to to you and everyone else. This is this is
It's for you mainly, but also for everyone else. Uh.
Number one, um, use time silent mode so that later,
(06:36):
even if you forgot your phone, turns on the ring
or automatically. Even I didn't know that existed either. I
think this is kind of cool. You can turn a
time silent mode on so even like you said you
wanted on airplane mode or whatever, you can have it
be on silent and then after like five hours, it
turns on the ringer so you can call it and
find it if you lose it. It's kind of interesting.
(06:58):
Number two, invest in docking stand. Always place your phone
in it when you're not using it. Okay, this is ridiculous.
Number three. Number three, before you get slashed the party,
hand your beloved gadget to a friend who plans on
staying sober through the night. I don't have any of
those friends. Everyone needs a d D for their phone nowadays. Uh.
(07:22):
Number four, invest in a hand set insurance solution that
can offer protection from damage, theft, and malware. I don't
know if that's really necessary, but it's a thing, Okay.
I like this one. Number five. Put your name and
emergency contact number on your phone's lock screen or wallpaper.
I was thinking of that. Actually, I was thinking of
(07:43):
making a label. But that looks that's gonna be way
cooler than a label on the back of my phone. Yeah,
my dad has that. Yeah you should. It's good. It's
a good idea. Number six. Never put your phone in
your back pocket never, which I do that all the time.
I don't really understand, but I guess you can slip out.
Number seven, Get a top of the line armored case
(08:04):
for your phone so that it becomes impossible for someone
to nicke it from your pocket stealthily. My phone won't
fit in the pocket. My phone fell out the back
pocket right into a porta potty. Really, did you go
swimming after I had to? Yeah? You got to. I
had to, dude. I have a funny story about that too,
tell it. I had to reach into the Thank god,
it was one of those fancier porta potti is not
(08:25):
like a yucky super yucky want to Coachell or something.
But ye, hand went right in. Yeah I got it.
Oh that's a deep it's a deep dive in there. Yeah.
Maybe eighties seven white piece. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I did
the same thing. I was at the bar in Nashville,
and uh, I have bubble guts that day. Let's just
be fair, like something's happened bubble guts. I just bad
(08:48):
things were happening in the old gut Gut region and
all Mandu. So I was at the bar. I ran
across the street to the gas station, and you know
how like there's a tank above the the toilet. Um,
I took my jacket off and put it on the
tank behind the toilet, and I had my phone like
in the pocket, and I and I had I had diarrhea.
(09:11):
Let's just say it, just say what it is, you freak.
So then they had no there was no So I
had to get like the paper towel from like the
washer hands. So I got up and so yeah, so
(09:34):
I got up to do that. I had I had
to crab walk, you know, over to it and get it.
And then I was trying to clean things up and um,
and I saw flushed at this point, no, no, no, no.
I tried to flush, but because it was the it
was the paper, it got clogged. So it was just
diarrhea and paper towels. And at that point I was like, well,
(09:55):
I got to flee the scene immediately. So I grabbed
my jacket and try to put it on, like you know,
like let's go, and my phone flies up and then
boom right in the dirty Diary of one. And I
was like, I don't have to do Actually, I knew
what I had to do, and after it, baby, no,
(10:15):
I'd leave it. And I told I told my brother
that story once and he was like, I've used your
phone so many times. All right onward number eight. Invest
in a good power bank so you don't have to
leave your phone unattended while it's charging. Pink. Oh so
(10:38):
you've got a MOFI always yeah. Yeah, So that's a
smart one because a lot of people like plug their
phone into like a bar or something. They walk out
like like at the bar, and then they always have
a battery pack and it's the size of a candy bar.
Always have it. That's a good one because I don't
trust iPhones. I feel like when they want you to upgrade,
they start decreasing your like power and yeah that they
(11:00):
send like some sort of like virus in Yeah, first
setting like you've got twenty minutes and then you're on red. Okay,
real quick. Number nine, create a timely ritual. I can
alarm a gaming session or something. This will help you
keep checking your phone after every few hours, which he
was an amish person should do. Um. And number ten,
turn on the Android Device Manager or the Find my
(11:21):
Phone service on your phone to help you track the
device in case you lose it. That's what I want
to do. Everyone's like, did you do find my phone?
I was like no, no, is that my mom is
always trying to find my phone? Like I was like,
let's buddy up on this, and I was like, no,
you can't stop me. Yeah. So I always thought it
was that No, no, no no, it's so you can find
it anyways. Um okay, so hold on, put your phone down,
(11:45):
and you need to pay attention right now. Remind me
to do that. I will, I promise, trust me, I promise.
This is important. To my livelihood as well. Uh, step you,
we set you up on a date with my good
buddy Derek. He flew out from New York. You, guys,
what I assume had a wonderful time. I want to
hear your side of the story. But we have Dr
(12:06):
gold Share on the phone right now. She was here
a couple episodes ago trying to break down, breakthrough and
understand what your deal is with your with your single life.
So we're all three gonna sit and talk about your
date together. Okay, okay, did the doctor here the last
podcast of Derek's take on the date? Did you hear it?
(12:28):
I heard, Hi, guys, good to be here again. I
heard briefly, I heard a summary. Okay, okay, great, Well,
let's just start by hearing your side of the date.
You show up an hour and a half late. I mean,
why are we doing that? Because it's a part of
this It's a part of what happened. The listeners know. Yes,
(12:51):
So let's just start there. So you get there, walk in,
walk in, take it from there. Uh And I see
a guy sitting by himself. No, that's for me. Go
to the booth, sit in, And I'm so curious what
Dr Goldscher has to say about this evidently, and like
I did, I didn't even realize it. I sat as
(13:12):
far away as possible from him. What do you make
of that? What were your feelings kind of going in?
Were you nervous? Were you excited? No? I, unlike Derek,
this was not my first blind date. I love dating
and going on dating shows. My parents went on blind date.
I'm all about the blind dates. So it wasn't like,
(13:33):
you know, he smelled or I was nervous or you know,
there's nothing like that. That's just where I felt comfortable
being that far away, and I was trying to figure
out why. And I think maybe it's because I'm used
to working, and so I'm always like in an interview,
see in a way. I don't know what do you
think I mean? I mean, certainly it feels like a
(13:55):
way too, I mean unconsciously ward off connection and intimacy.
It doesn't sound like that's always how you move through
the world. But maybe there's a part of you that
is just slightly defensive in those moments that at first
at least or do you think it's like I love
my Space? Do you think it's that you just love
(14:16):
your space. I didn't realize I did it until I
heard the podcast and he mentioned it, and I was like, whoa,
that was a thing well, like you know, um they
say that like a body language tells a lot, like
if you have your arms crossed, like how you're actually
sitting right now, it's like a defense mechanism from like
way back in the Neanderthal days that people dating therapists
(14:38):
on the line across. But like it was a thing
that you would you you're you're covering your in you know,
your vital organs or you're protecting yourself, and that that's
something that like shows up now as if these evolved
um humans, And I wonder if that's just kind of
the same thing, like sitting far away as you're protecting
yourself because there's distance. I don't know. Yeah, I agree
(15:03):
with that. I agree with all of them. Yeah, I mean,
and particularly since you aren't aware of it, then we
can guess it. It It really is subconscious, you know. And
so even if your mindset going in isn't feeling nervous
or cut off or not interested or not open, there's
like some part of you. And it's good to notice
that there's some part of you that is feeling a
(15:24):
bit closed off. Thank god Derek noticed it, because I did.
What were your first impressions of Derek, Because when we
showed you a picture on the show, you, um, you
were like, not, he's not my type, He's not my type. Um.
He had golrgeous eyes that were, um, you know, a
(15:45):
little foggy from all the alcohol he had to drink
while he waited for me. Uh. Well that was the thing,
Like I got to the table and he's got all
these glasses there, and I'm not one to drink at lunch. Uh.
And I also drink drink in l A, which is
really weird. I mean, I drink when I'm filming for
the Hills, and I drink on Halloween if I'm in
town for Halloween. But generally I don't drink here. Um.
(16:10):
It was lucky that I had taken an uber since
you know, obviously I wanted to make him feel, you know, comfortable.
So I got a drink at a Mimosa and I
had a bloody Mary. Then I said to the fuck
you guys don't need to now, okay, um, And we
had like a really good conversation. It was just like
back and forth, like he's really interesting. We're laughing. I could,
(16:33):
you know, bust his balls, you could bust mine. Um, yeah,
it was, it was. It was great. He's a great guy.
I told you, I said, like a great guy. So
when when you saw him in person, did you still
feel like he wasn't your type? Yeah, but he's pretty.
(16:57):
It's weird. So like now that you've hung out with
him as here tight, like, I guess I'm confused as
to like, I don't know. I think I need to
hang out with him again, because you know, we were
so hyped up on St. Patrick's Day. We both love
that holiday. Yeah, well it's a fun holiday. And also
so when we were there and like we're getting the checks,
they're kicking us out. Um I felt so bad about
(17:20):
what had happened that I was like, why don't we
go do an Irish pub crawl? Like I went to
show him a good time since he was like getting
on the red eye that night. So like as if
you know, I haven't lived here in six years in June,
as if I know where Irish pubs are, so we're
like googling them. We get an uber, we go to one,
and um, I did not leave my wallet. I don't
(17:43):
know why. Derek said that. I left my passport, so
I had my wallet and I was paying to you punk.
So I tried to do like the you know, I'm
so sorry, this is so embarrassing, like can I share
my age here and like, you know, very discreetly, and
the guy was like nope, not looking, won't look nope.
(18:05):
And I was like just look and he's like nope,
can't see it, won't look. And I was like, So
then I saw this other guy that was working. It
was like packed in there, and I was like, I'm
really sorry, but the guy at the doors really mean
um like I'm thirty two, blah blah, and he was like,
oh Steph, prod your dad's might dentists. So we got
in that way, but then we walked to another Oh
(18:29):
and we made friends. That's something I do all the time,
is make friends. In fact, I made a friend in
Hawaii and I just invited her out here to stay
with me. I don't know her that well, she's staying
with me tonight, right. I love making friends. I really
trust strangers more than people. I know, Yeah, maybe not
do that, but okay, okay, so then we can hip
(18:51):
of let's let's hone in stuff. What were the things
about him that you What were the things about him
we're compelling because it sounded like when we were altogether before,
you didn't feel that excited or interested. So what was
compelling about him? He is everything a man in his
(19:13):
thirties should be. Wow, what does that mean? Take notes? Well,
he is I mean he has his own job, he's confident,
he has credit card, he he you know, talks about
(19:34):
his family, he's into family, talks about his friends, has friends,
you know, very career driven, super honest about the shows
that he was on in his past. Um, just normal,
you know, like didn't care about social media, wasn't like,
you know, wearing makeup. Definitely definitely got the straight vibes.
(19:59):
That was great because I don't really get there's that
often in l a um and yeah, he just like
had it all going on for him. Good teeth, pretty eyes,
great outfit. So you found your did he become more
i mean your quote type or maybe by the way
to say, did you start to feel attracted to him
(20:22):
as you came to know these qualities about him? Definitely
when we're at the pubs, because I saw like such
a playful side, but he was touching and grabbing a lot.
Yeah yeah, and don't like that or did you like that? Well,
I'm really insecure with my body. So and this just
happened in Hawaii's wall with this other guy. Like when
(20:43):
they start getting touchy, I like kind of like wiggle
and squirm. So I was very aware of the wiggling
and squirming. But we made friends like this group, and yes,
the green lipstick came out and um, yeah, I don't know,
I've got to see him again like sober. Yeah, yeah,
we're taking so many shots as well. I don't know,
(21:07):
have you have you ever dated someone like him before?
No kind of m someone put together in perfect No. Well, see,
this is what I was saying when we we had
the doc on last time, was that what you think
your type is may not really be your type because
that type has always been a failure, Like it's never
(21:29):
worked out right, And maybe what you need to do
is shift that ideology of what your type is to
something that would be successful. Like but I say, I
want all those attributes in a man, Yeah, but the
type is much more of like yeah, I guess you're right.
I don't know, but you guys, did mean it's important
(21:52):
to note and sort of a healthy thing to note
that it appears that he has a lot of qualities
that are healthy and potentially good for you, and you're
still open because I think we sort of had a
HYPROFESSI is that maybe you wouldn't be open if that
kind of guy came along. You know, that's a part
of you might be afraid to actually be intimate and
(22:13):
vulnerable with someone who's really available. Well, as long as
I know they have their own career and their own
independent money, I will be open. Yeah, that's what I
just can't they surfer bums. Speaking of intimacy, you guys
did make out a couple of times. We wanted to
try my green lipstick? Did you want him to try there?
(22:40):
But yes? How was it like it felt normal but
not normally just like the's like dull. Obviously we're going
to make out, having great time together. Was it a
good kiss? Is what I'm asking? Yes? Good enough for
a second? Oh yeah, because there worse two there might
(23:01):
have even more. Honestly, we had so many shots and
his face was like green with lipstick and he wasn't
wearing green, so he's getting Yeah, What do you think about, doc,
What do you think about um, like making out and
having intimacy um, like on a first date, a blind
date like that. Yeah. I mean in the scenario you're describing,
(23:25):
it sounds like it was all part of the spirit
of the date, you know, And it sounds like it
was sort of innocent, fun and kind of why not. Yeah.
The guy that I dated for a couple of weeks
before this, we went on not dated. We went on
two dates and I never kissed him. Fickle fickle little kisser.
(23:47):
I am, Well, it just depends on the guy. So
have you guys been in touch since the date? Oh? Man,
I feel so bad. Well, I didn't have my phone
the next day, and then he texted me on Tuesday,
what are you doing tonight? And I was like, oh
my god, are you in l A. Which I was like,
oh my god, he's crazy. If he'd come back to
(24:09):
l A. I was like so scared for my life.
And he was like, no, no, no no, I'm here. I
just like I want to talk on the phone tonight,
which was like so cute. Um, But I was going
to dinner with my parents because we hadn't spoken in
a few weeks. So I was like, actually got a dinner,
a big dinner tonight, and he was like, you knows
two parents they made you, which I really love because
(24:29):
I am so about rooting for parents, even though like
I was in a fight with mine. But like I
loved that about him. Um, and then he texted me again.
He said he stalked my Instagram and sent me a
photo of him like on walruses or something. Um. But yeah,
(24:51):
but again, like I already feel like I'm not in prison,
but like I've got another job now, and what is
that job? Texting someone? Really? Yeah, it really does bring
up some of those filings, a sense of obligation and responsibility. Well,
(25:12):
if you put it that way, responsibility, I'm yeah, it's
really hard for me to give people time. Uh huh.
And do you feel that way with that end up
falling into that to use your trunk kind of bum category.
(25:33):
I think the reason I'm like that now is because
I look back and there's so many opportunities that I
missed because of a guy that I was dating, or
you know, a job that I didn't take, a dating
show I didn't go on, and then you know, just
to be cheated on like two weeks later. So there's
been so many things that I've missed because I've put
(25:53):
someone that I care about before and it's always been
in you know, I look back and I regret it completely.
So I'm just at this point where I'm like, I'm
not going to let any guy really change my path
right now. M hm. So I I just I'm mad
at myself for giving up so much, for all these
(26:14):
dumb little mm hmm. You know, I think I mean,
it's definitely it's definitely a longer conversation, but I think
those two things can coexist, you know, the idea that
you can hold on to your self, your independence and
growing your career and your internal life and all of
(26:36):
that and still be connected to someone else. You know,
I think it sounds like somehow along the way, besides
the fact that you ended up with people who didn't
have good intentions, that it started to feel like that
wasn't possible. And you know, the idea of a good
relationship is that is that those things co exist really beautiful,
you know, and you kind of lift each other up.
(26:56):
If we have to help you find that paradigm again.
I also, I'm really scared that to get into a
relationship now that I've been you know, thinking so much
and talking about it with you guys so much, because
I'm scared that's going to change how people look at
me or you know, my role on the Hills. I
(27:19):
just do you think that they're going to kick you
off the show because you have a boyfriend? No, but
I like being the single girl on the show. I
think having I don't know, I'm just I'm worried that
things will change. Yeah. That that's another tricky element is
to have kind of part of your public and professional person. Yeah, right, Yeah,
(27:43):
that makes sense. That's it. In a sense, there would
be a loss, you know, kind of some agree for
a loss associated with really truly giving up that role
to be something to think about and work through. That's
what it totally is. It is a role, and like
you know, it's very Yeah, but that means that means
(28:04):
there's no character arc for your storyline, which makes for
non compelling television. If you're always the same thing, then
it's boring to grow. I do and and and also
if I was a producer on this show, I'd be like,
this would be great if she actually felt something for
(28:26):
someone else, Like I don't think that. I think it's
crazy to think that your success on the hills is
dependent upon your loneliness, Okay, honeliness, independence, potato, potato, whatever
you want to say. Like, but going back to like
what you were saying, Uh, you're the doc was saying
(28:49):
that you can have both, and I would say, like,
I'm a very good example of that, where yes, I
have I'm in a relationship and I have to give
a lot of myself to that person and it takes
away from other things that would work, that I could
be working on or whatever. Um, but it also opens
(29:10):
doors to other fun experiences and adventures and even work
for that matter, that weren't there beforehand. But when you
first started dating Sarah, where you like, this is who
I'm going to end up with, this is who I'm
going to marry, because that changes everything. It's like you
know that this person is more important than everything. No,
I don't know if I thought if I was like
(29:31):
immediately like I'm gonna get married to this person, But
I think I I thought that there was a potential
for that, and um, it was worth exploring, you know.
And maybe that's not how you feel about there. I
totally understand that but no, I definitely do. But then
like I get cold a tease, Yeah, well you're not
(29:53):
teach you guys made out three times that night like
later tease, Yeah, because I don't know, you know, um
if I go on a few more dates with him
and then all of a sudden, I start ghosting, like yeah, yeah,
I don't want to look anyone on and I feel
like I do not Well, we gotta we got we
gotta get Derek on the show. Do you have any
(30:16):
any kind of final thoughts, words, um bits of advice
for staff. I think it's really important for us that
has to follow herself in the process. You know, even
though we're making this podcast in this moment, there's kind
of a whole emotional um journey that we're talking about
(30:37):
and that you're embarking on, you know, really trying to
figure out as disappoint in your life where you're actually
open And I'm not talking about like it has to
be Derek, but are you available for a real connected
internet relationship and kind of what happens to you if
you start to become connected with someone and the trust
issues that are there and your fears are kind of
losing your core and all those things. These are just
(30:58):
so central to uh your growth right now. So I
would just say, like, follow yourself in the process so
you can discover of what comes up for you, what
vulnerability is, what fear is, what strength? To help yourself
prepare for all the wonderful things you have in front
of your relationships, career stuff like, you can have it all.
You just have to track yourself emotionally, you know, So
(31:21):
what do we do it on the podcast or some
other way? Um, that's what I would recommend, But I
I feel good about your possibilities. I just think you
have to follow yourself. Okay, I'm definitely gonna take that
advice and be more aware when I'm in these situations
of how I'm feeling, what I'm thinking. That's it, because
I think if you keep sort of cutting it off,
you you just don't get to continue to discover. We
(31:44):
don't have like an answer in this moment, but something
is in the way of you being fully open whether
or not it's right for you to get married like
the next month or like in five years, and that
feels so central and core for you to understand, you know.
Dr Goulch, thank you so much for coming on the
podcast again today and for helping my dating books. It's
(32:05):
my pleasure and I'm happy to help you track in
the future. I'm sure we'll be calling you again soon.
I gotta feeling you will. If you guys want to
get in touch with Dr Hillary Hillary Goldcher, you can
Dr Hillary Goldcher uh dot com in Beverly Hills. You
rock due, Thank you so much. Thanks? All right, Probably, man,
(32:29):
therapy is tough, but she said it was perfect and
I need to change. Yeah, that's one of the one
of the things I think that you need to work
on is listening. Yeah, exactly. All right, So we're gonna
get Derek on the line. I want to hear like
kind of like his thoughts on the day with you
in the room. You guys are gonna talk about it.
Well all right, but first quick break, we'll be right
(32:51):
back with Derek Paith. Derek you there, what's up man,
Hey buddy, Derek, Hey, stuff A long time, so long
except I thought you flew back in when you texted
me on Tuesday. Yeah, No, I'm not quiet, all right,
(33:14):
So I'm missing I missed a kind of actually not
so I heard the podcast, Derek. Can I just say
I've already told Wells and our listeners, I didn't have
my wallet. It was my passport that I didn't have.
You're right, yes, okay. And then the other thing is
(33:34):
when I don't want anyone to think I'm like going
to because I'm like all the independent, like you know,
career of woman. No, you're right, actually, because I I
remembered even after the fact um when you said it
then that yeah, after I said it, that there was
like a whole uh exchange where like we were trying
(33:57):
to get at the second place we went. We're trying
when we were getting like the drinks for the other
people we were with, where you did You're like, no, no, no,
I've got this. I did forget about that. Thank you.
See people, I'm not horrible. And then the other thing,
it is, the other thing is when we went to
that second pub because whoever that girl was on the
(34:19):
podcast like bashed me at the end of it about
this Wikipedia thing. First of all, I think it is disgusting.
Wait what now, I think like the wicked the girl
that bashed me. Okay, I think it's like anyone that
does that is like definitely douche man or woman. But
(34:42):
I had felt so bad for you know, coming so late.
I wanted to show you good time. We had so much.
One of the first place we made these friends, like
there was I was not going to be refused going
into that pub to show you a good time. So
I how how quiet was I when I said it?
I said, like the man, I was like, I'm so sorry.
(35:02):
This is literally embarrassing. I hate myself. But this guy
is in town, he's leaving tonight. This isn't how old
I am. This is my Wikipedia, I don't have my
pass for I'm so sorry. And he said, he goes,
You're fine, You're fine. Uh, you're actually, like you said it,
a lot nicer than most people. Yeah, it wasn't like hey,
famous girl, let me come in. No, no, no. The
(35:24):
first exactly agree. Um, Like I said, like, that wasn't
a turn off to me because you weren't like being
a jerk about it, you know. And uh the second
place he went, the guy totally was like usually I
would say no, but the way that you said that
was like really nice and apologetic. Um. The first The
(35:45):
first guy was the funny part though, because he was
like not having it at all. I'm selling balls. He's
like nope, not looking well, looking like his eyes closed. Yeah,
he was like two cranky. Yeah, you know, and like
you're trying to give a dog a pill and it
just like moves its head. You're just like totally completely
(36:06):
avoiding it. I'm acting right now. No, but seven, I
have had a good time sending letters back and forth
because that's how the Amish talk. This last week, yes,
with with our falcons, I just showed well as that
photo that you sent me of you being a walrus
on the rocks, Oh yeah, that's a good old one. Um.
(36:32):
So I had a great time. I mean, as I said,
as I said last week, I really did too. It's uh,
it's so weird. So like I've noticed this, um, and
this is such a unique situation where we're just like
openly talking about this with other people listening. All right,
(36:55):
I guess mine too. But it's so weird, Like no, no, no,
well just because of the fact that I've done some
of this as well. Um yeah, but like it's so
weird trying to as like an adult now that we
we have like stuff going on constantly, and like you know,
you think back to when you're like younger and you
(37:17):
meet somebody and you like have a good time and
literally the next day you can just be like, oh yeah,
let's just like skip this class and go hang out,
you know, go do some like stupid kids thing. And
it is like really hard to get in touch. And
then especially like being three hours away from somebody, you know,
we've like we struggled to get in contact a little bit,
(37:37):
which is like that's that, that's that second part of like, Okay,
I had a good time with this person. Like maybe
maybe like you know, we'll see I don't know who
knows that there's something there or not yet. But um,
like the actual act of trying to like get back
in touch with them can be so weird as you
get older. Why because it's just like there's a there's
(38:00):
stuff that happens. It gets in a way. I think,
who do you think is guilty of the not getting
in touch with the other or is it a mutual thing? Uh?
Well I did. I did try like straight, but um,
I think it's it is pretty mutual in this case.
I Mean, here's the thing, like, obviously you're busy, I'm busy.
(38:22):
We've gone on one day, you're on the other side
of the country. It would be really weird if I
was texting and talking to you like every day, because
then I'm I don't know if I think that's really weird,
because then I'm already like putting all my eggs in
a basket and like, and then when we see each
other again, it's going to be like one of those
weird catfish dating things where it's like we know each
(38:45):
other so much, we probably are could be in a
serious relationship. We've been in one over text, like, so
do we get married next time we see each other?
So your thing, you're moving very fast, So that's what
I'm here for. Is this not the So your thing
is you want the actual relationship and the text relationship
(39:06):
to move the same pace. Okay, I understand that that's
actually a totally fair thing to say. Yes, oh my god,
you nail that. Okay, But so I guess this, like
I've talked to both of you guys now, um and
you both seemed to be into it, like you both
had fun, uh you guys kissed or whatever. Um Um,
(39:27):
I guess my question is do you do you want
to do another date? Like? Is is there another date? Okay? Absolutely, Derek,
Oh for sure. Yeah, yeah, I told you that so so, Steph,
I don't know if you you did listen to the podcast.
So for me, like I'm very quick to know, like no,
definitely not with people. And uh, the tough thing for
(39:51):
me is like beyond that, knowing like what to think
or what to feel, and like I definitely didn't at
all feel there was a no you know, it was
like very tracted to you and we had tons of fun.
And then like any case like that, why of course
I would want to see that person again. Yeah? Did
oh we didn't like the best date for your first
(40:13):
blind date, like that was legit. You're not going to
have another blind date that fun, just saying, oh, look
at she's already trying to like make sure I don't
go on another blind date. And oh my god, I
listen to the podcast this Holly chick, you're like dating her?
Did you know that that had happened? Yes, you like
couldn't wait to tell me it was like this girl
(40:35):
over there. However, what you actually said, remember because it
came out later. I can't remember what I say you
because it's like it was in my pocket and I
like grabbed it and I was like, oh, yeah it
was it was no Jo was like four hours later,
and and you turned to the people who were with
and you're like, oh, if that was me, I would
(40:56):
have thrown it in his face round wait yeah, Like
so it was like three or four hours later. Black
were you? At this point it was saying I didn't
even get to the Beverly Hills Polo Club or wherever
you were, and I was on time. So that other
thing from the podcast I'm Always on time was I today. No,
(41:20):
I was eight minutes late. But I pride myself on
always being on time because my time is not more
important than anyway. It annoys me when people are ye,
I'm wait, I don't understand. So you had the receipt
fallout so I could see it, and I said I
(41:41):
should throw it at you. No, no, no, you said,
if you were like you turned who, I don't even
remember your friends, Simon, Emily and the crew Emily that
was her name. I remembered Simon's name. I couldn't remember
her name. Um, yeah, you're like, oh, if that was me,
because you showed up late, if you were like in
my place, you would have right away, Ben like, oh,
(42:04):
I could have gotten out a date with Holly instead.
But I'm still not understanding this. Was this something nice
or something it was only really nice. I think what
he's saying is that you turned to the other girl
and was explaining like that this girl went out of
her way to leave a note, and after you showing
(42:24):
up late, you that Derek should have gone on a
date with Holly right like that. You said, listen, I'm
just shooting my own horn here. Okay, So that's just happened.
That's what I was thinking was going on. I just
wanted to understand my part in this. Yeah, I'm it
was like it was nice that you also like said
(42:45):
that that was a good thing, you know, that was
that's a really nice thing. But I wouldn't have been
shocked if Amy or Well said he's gone. He waited
an hour and left with another diner. You don't understand
how close he was to leave evening because he's texting
me being like they're closing the kitchen. Dude, I don't
know what to do. Right when I got there there
(43:06):
like we're closing the kitchen. Do you want anything? Uh No.
I would have never waited that long, oh wow, But
for Derek, I would have just like Derek said, because
of our connection with Wells. Yeah, look at look at
the power you have Wells. I have to work with him,
so we can't be cat fighting. That's all right. So
(43:29):
here's the deal. You guys are going to go another date.
So we got to figure that out. Like you you
heard in the last podcast, Derek said it'd be great
if you went to New York and they thought he
thought it'd be fun to do like a New York
date thing. Would you be would you be down for that? Absolutely? Um? Yeah,
we'd have to work on dates though with filming, Yeah, exactly.
(43:50):
The cameras there, you got that? Yeah, that that sounds
like a hefty as there. Um. I mean we can
figure it out. It doesn't have to be York. I
was just you know, no, that'd be so much more
fun though. Okay, cool, I'm glad you're down either way.
We'll figure it out. You guys good. I love it much.
(44:13):
I can't wait to get your next Falcon stuff. Oh yes,
oh my god, I'll be working on my calligraphy later.
I have a new indepen. You guys are both the
biggest dorks I've ever heard in my life. I'm sorry,
but Derek, I remember you saying that you were quite
amish too. Oh yeah, yeah, we found each other the
(44:35):
two left in your New York. Yeah didn't Wait wait
did step I'll tell you the story about my Halloween cossume.
Maybe no, I don't think I did. Actually, um, I'm
guessing we're amish. Yeah, alright, he's meant to be Derek.
(44:57):
So my senior year of college, I was like, like
right before the school year, my best friend and I
was just like, let's grow our hair out and uh.
And then like a month later, I go, why don't
we just grow our beards out too? When are we
gonna ever do this again? Um? You know? And he's
like an army now, so same thing, Like we're both, um,
we're both we both need to look cleaned up a
little bit. Anyway. Um, Like five months later, he just
(45:20):
like comes and slams in the door and he's like,
I know we're gonna be for Halloween. And there was amish.
There was amish crew building a garage like two doors
down from me. Uh. And he went and bought like
the blue shirts, two suspenders. I like shaved off my mustache.
I looked horrible. But can you text the photo right now? Uh? Yeah,
(45:43):
it might take me a little bit crazy. You guys
are so cute, Like now now I want a psychic
to come on. Oh, I feel like I've already worked
through all my dr goldscher. Yeah. I was just on
(46:04):
the phone with her. We're good to go. Wait, so
there was a there was who was on? There was
somebody on before? Yeah, we have a therapist that comes
on and talks to uh stuff about her kind of
wells and stuff, both of us. Yeah, honestly, I've had
some very like therapist conversations as well as before two.
Oh so you got issues. I am a human being.
(46:28):
We all love that answer. I've had a therapist that
was ten. Yeah. Usually includes like a couple nips of bourbon.
And that's very true. That's very true. There was there
was a night. We won't give you the details, but
there was a night where we were in a hotel
together and we ended up the bar closed and we
(46:50):
bought the bottle of from the bar. So we can
con continue. Are I do that class? Class? Hey? Wells,
can I see your phone? I want to see the
text messages that you have. Oh no, no, let me
see the trail, No way, let me see do me
to read it to you. I'll read it, okay, read
(47:13):
after the date, read when we're on the date. Okay,
hold on, So this is Derek. You okay with this? Yeah?
I'm fine. I don't even remember, oh like what I said.
But I texted you guys like before him. No, just
you and well's your little child? After the date? We
like called on the phone. There's probably not too much
on here. You did leave, I don't leave no receipts stuff. Yeah,
(47:40):
we did just talk on the phone. Uh, this is
what he said. He says, Okay, that's something goes um
what he wrote? Am I being punked? L O L
fifteen minutes late? Dot dot dot? And I said, already
off to the great start. And then Derek said, I
(48:01):
sense Amy planned this. Yeah. I thought I thought Amy
like planned for me to for you to show up late.
You know what. That's because you've been on reality TV
because we know producers. Yeah, that's all we thought. We
thought Tory was the one who was being holly, but
but that's not the case. Yeah, I'm sure Steph like
(48:23):
you and I both have trust issues for sure with
that stuff. Something starts and you're like, who's doing this?
Who's pulling these strings or like when they like make
me wait like forty five minutes and like you're doing this,
so I get grumpy and cranky. So I go in.
They're all like mad and angry, like you're winding me
up on purpose. That's just me being crazy, all right,
(48:46):
Well as you're grinning over there smirking. Okay, so here. Um.
So this this was the text chain where where we
were like concerned that you just were going to show up,
and I was going to say the one between you
me and Amy from it has more yeah. Um. So
this is you're You're saying I'm gonna get drunk, and
(49:07):
then Amy's like, anything, you want to stay there? And
then you said I'm not really drunk, by the way, um,
and then Amy said you can leave in five minutes. Um.
And then you wrote she's here, um, and then yeah exactly,
and then an hour later you wrote I mean she's fun,
(49:28):
and then Amy wrote I know, and then Derek said
I'm sort of interested. Uh, and then Amy said that's
a great problem and I just said wow, uh after
waiting that long, and then Amy said, oh man, she's
so fun and so cute, and then Derek in all
caps let me live. Well, stop, stop, why are we
(49:50):
so drunk? Derek, You're so funny? Like I wish you
did live closer. That was basically, and then the next
one was with you being like, hey, we want to
change his flight because I want to spend more time
with them. Yeah, he's mouth. I don't remember that. Oh
(50:12):
my god, you were black out? Oh my god. Well
I remember how I hit my head. I think I
had a slight concussion. Did you felt the bump? Yeah,
that's Cupid's arrow slamming into your head. You know that
was a parking sign. Well? Also, um, all right, well
(50:34):
you guys, su y'all? Did you did good? Well? I
know I told you you need to listen to me
more often, honestly, Like, Derek is a one beautiful man
and he's just a normal guy who has like a
finance job and has piercing baby blue eyes. So it
(50:57):
sounds like, wells and I will be fighting for your affection.
But no, when I've said it before, when I get married,
Derek's gonna be my wedding. He's a very important person
in my life. So don't with him. Are you saying
I'm only coming to your wedding if I'm Derek state, No,
you're of course being invited, obviously. I'm just I'm just
trying to make context of like, Derek's an important person
(51:21):
in my life. So, um giving the like dad shotgun talking. Yes,
I'm cleaning my Winchester right now. Do don't hurt my baby, Derek? Okay,
him back before, Yes, feed on the floor, kids, door open. Um. Okay, Derek,
we're gonna let you go. Man, I just got that
(51:42):
feel that's so funny. Did your dad say that? Yeah?
For sure? Yeah? Um okay, So we're gonna set up
a second day, okay, Derek. Also, how good does like
texting and you know, talking the same pace as dates?
What do you mean, like the seriousness of the relationship
needs to be reflected in texting, So if you're not,
(52:05):
does that make sense? Yeah? I like that. I'm always
scared that if we talk too much, we get to
know each other too much, and then it's like, I mean,
well else can you put it in like normal terms? Yeah,
I'm following. So so I and I like do when
(52:25):
people get too close too quick, Like that's a lot
for me, and I won't because I've got like so
much going on. I'm always like I'm not ready for this,
so like I'm totally good with not overdoing it, you know,
and I'm like trying to find a new part. Like
I've got a ton of things going on, So I'm
totally with you on not like overdoing that at all. Well,
(52:46):
I think we're so similar in that, like we like space.
We talked about that though on our day. Yeah, exactly,
like four thousand miles. Yeah, if it doesn't define space,
I don't know what does. We're on like the same
path path. Yeah, we're in the same place in life,
I think. I agree. Well, okay, here's what we're in doing. Wait.
(53:09):
Also that just made me think the other thing that
Derek was doing, like we were so drawn. We're both
thirty two. We're both thirty two, and I thought like,
either he's dated really old ladies or like children, he's
so excited to be dating some of his own age.
Literally said sometimes we're both thirty two balancers everyone. Yeah,
(53:33):
I was trying to help you, like I was trying
to help you get in the door. Like I was like,
she doesn't have a beard, I know, but like I
swear she's thirty two. Well okay, so that so next
step is we might have to get a psychic in. Okay,
can we do a skype? We could, but it might
be fun to have him come out again for a
(53:56):
second day and then be all in the same room
with the psychic. Love this okay, so we'll work on that.
But you guys text your own speed. But you're a
song I love it, um, Derek, thanks for being on
the show, buddy. Yeah, I mean, like, thanks for setting
(54:17):
me up with a super great girl. Oh my god,
oh thank you. Well know I die. There are so
many moms listening to this podcast being like, oh my god,
that Derek. I know he is someone that like you'd
want to brag to your parents about, like wait till
you meet him, all right, But they're not thirty two.
So hi, guys, thanks for coming on and we'll talk later.
(54:53):
You know, you can fight it all you want. And
I know you're trying to defense mechanism, and I just
feel like we've broken down some walls here stuff. And
I think the you know, I I thought to your
detriment saying like I want to slow down the pace
(55:13):
of texting or whatever. And I think that I was
worried that he was going to not like that or
like think that that was a form of rejection, but um,
it actually made sense. He was like, yeah, I know totally.
I've got a lot of stuff going on to I
think that what he thought is that's the perception of
(55:34):
what a man is supposed to do. You guys go
on a great date, gott you know you don't want
to Ghoster you know? Oh yeah, I definitely. If I
hadn't heard from him after the date, I would have
been like, man, yeah, But now that he knows the rules,
I guess and I think it can be uh, it
can move move along at a healthy pace. And I
(55:56):
just also like not because I'm like slutty in any way,
but I don't want to be now in exclusive. Yeah
I don't know if that's what he wants either. Yeah, okay, good, Um,
not that I've got anyone else today, but you know, yeah,
he also he's he's in New York and he's a
good looking guy, and you're in l A and you're
(56:17):
someone already. No, I'm just saying, who is she new Yorker? Uh?
Damn it? What a pig? Uh No. But I think
I think that, like, I think he's got really realistic
expectations too. So I think that your apprehensions about relationships
(56:38):
or whatever are a little bit unneeded. Right now, I
don't feel them anymore. Okay, but I think we'll we'll
set up another day. I think it'll be fun have
Derek come out. I think the the the the Psychic
would be cool. Yeah, I'd be so fun to have
him in the room with us. We'd be fighting for
his love and then you as can do sex. No, no, no,
(57:06):
miss girls don't have sex fair enough? Um, alright, well
I'm glad that ye glad we got to do this,
you know, pat it on the shoulder for you. Yeah,
we did it, all right, You've got nice friends. I mean,
he is so put together. I told you that he
is the first real man I've met, really after you, like,
(57:28):
literally the first real man man. Don't let this one
get away? Then? Well, I'm saying you want to end
the show? Okay? Do you or you want to say
anything else? No, I'm just like like an idiot smiling
over here. Yeah, I know, I wish this is a
TV show. You could see her blushing hills. Yeah. Shows
(57:51):
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