March 30, 2023 • 45 mins
“Open your ears and listen to me. Get that oatmeal in, okay? Get your calcium. Okay? Get your iron in.” - Josh Johnson
“Grits can be breakfast, lunch, dinner, brunch. Grits can be any meal. You can have your breakfast grits. We've all had fish and grits.” - Dulcé Sloan
It’s oatmeal vs. grits this week on Hold Up with Daily Show correspondent Dulcé Sloan and writer Josh Johnson.
#DailyShow #HoldUp #Podcast
Click here for Dulcé’s tour dates: dailyshow.com/dulcesloan
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
The sweetest thing I've seen with grits is people who
put a little bit ketch up on their grits. Wait,
hold the whoa whoa whoa flag on the motherfucking play.
You've never seen that. No, there's people in the world
that put a little bit of um. I mean, I know,
(00:21):
catchment hot sauce are not the same thing, but they
might put a little bit of hot sauce on their grits.
My grits. No, thank you for tuning in to hold up.
My name is Josh Johnson. I'm one of your co hosts.
I'm from writer for The Daily Show, and I am
joined by Cap k cat mm hmm no, no, no, no, no,
(00:49):
tap dance with the talk. I got it. Co co Oh,
you don't know anything about the balls. Okay, you don't
get it. You never see that. They were like Katriya
Kata Katrina and someone's like dancing. No, I've seen it, Yeah,
like Paris's burning type stuff, right, yes Paris, Yes, yes, yes,
(01:10):
I went unto one of those balls so bad. I
do too. I have a real appreciation for them, even
though I don't fully understand everything that's going on. It's
all amazing. Well, it's like, you know, they call it
a death drop, but it's actually called a dip, is
what it's actually called. But there was this guy that
did this one. I have to find the video. This
man did such this parson, he just did this move.
(01:32):
They just did this move. Because I don't how they identified.
I don't want to be rude, but the move that
they did it was like almost like a soft back flip,
but they were holding like the bottom of their foot
and the legistraining yes, yes, yes, I've seen it. I've
seen it. Why do you see someone in the background
just grab the other person and then get up? And
(01:53):
this is one has to be like no, no, no, comeback.
And it's like anytime you see something that makes you
run away, it's like when black people are thinking they
go to run away. Yes, I would even go as
far as to say that when I saw it, I
was like, in order for me to do it, I
would need to be shot like that whole, that whole
movement that was done. I could only do it if
(02:15):
I had been knocked backwards but was also passing out,
but it was also fighting to stay awake like that,
Like that's what all that means. Also a trained cheerleader
in gymnast. Yes, yes, all those things happening simultaneously. So
for the listeners, we didn't try to educate you on
certain things, just having a genuine moment. But ball culture,
(02:38):
ball culture, which is so confusing when they're trying to
outlaw these drag shows, which is so smooth as well.
Ball culture. It's smooth. Is it's an elegant you know,
you know what else is smooth? You know what else
is elegant? You know what else is giving breakfast? All right?
And you know what in breakfast is smooth? You know
(03:00):
what in breakfast is nutritious. It builds that body up
to kick back, to kick out, to pop out, to
duck walk. It's our topic today, all right. Our topic
today is oatmeal versus grits. I'll say this. I want
to listen, to take a moment to decide what side
(03:24):
they're on. Play the music. Okay, we're back. So I
know that some of you chose grits, and then some
of you are wrong, Josh. First of all, the fact
that you think that oatmeal is smooth. Oatmeal is a
(03:48):
cobblestone street in a boat. Okay, Okay, if you if
you want are you Are you trying to bring up
the bad oatmeals because I'm talking about the good oatmeals. Okay.
Are you trying to bring up the bad water to
oatmeal mix, water to oats mix, the non steel cut mix,
(04:09):
or are you talking about all oatmeal to begin with?
Listen one, I don't understand why we need steel to
cut these oats. How much of these oats pushing back?
Or you have to tell me that these oats are
steel cut? What else are we cutting oats with? What
is the difference? What is the significance? M I have
(04:32):
a steel cut oat. Okay, you can't cut this. You
can't cut this or iron or aluminum to be steel?
M hmm, should probably be steel. You know, what's the
whole like? What's the plant look like? I know what
grits come from corn? M hmm. What do oats look like? Show?
(04:58):
They look like if you're in a hornfield and you're
walking past the lower like the plants that don't go
as high, you know, like you're running your fingers through
some wheat. It looks kind of like that. Oh, I
just learned something interesting. M. Do you know a vino
has like oat milk in it? Mhmm. The reason that
(05:18):
so it looks like the name of oats is a
vena sativa. Yeah, that must be why they call the luno.
I don't know, I never I never thought about it
until just now. See, how do we figure out were
supposed to eat this? You give stuff a try, you know,
you be a pioneer. Okay, First of all, that's that's
one of the reasons why we're not discovering new foods
(05:40):
now is because, like I said before, like I've said
in previous podcasts, all right, this is I mean, you
take a step back for a second and need to
take a quick break. Okay for the men, all right,
for my men, you need to keep being pioneers. You
need to keep eating stuff that you don't know if
you be eating it. You need to keep putting stuff
(06:01):
in your mouth to see if it has nutritional value.
All right, Hey, we're counting on you because because oats
different milks, where did that come from? It came from pioneers,
It came from bravery, fortune favors the bold. I'll tell
you this. You know what, you know you said putting
(06:22):
things in menmouth nutritional You know what I'm gonna say.
Let's jump ahead, let's jump ahead. You know what I'm
gonna do. You know what I'm gonna do? Okay, I see,
I see, I see how you are? I see okay,
because I'm trying to give fellowship, to employ leadership to
these med out here that have lost their way. Oh no, no,
(06:46):
there's so many. Listen, I can tell you this. We're
asking men to be vulnerable. Yes, sure, it's sure face.
They have to adjust how they're going, they have to
decide how they're going to do it to be vulnerable. Yes,
because sometimes they can be vulnerable. It's just humans in general.
(07:09):
Because I know this is a new thing for men,
because like I was talking to this guy yesterday, he
was like, well, you know, the world is set up
for women to be able to vulnerable and cry. And
I was like, but y'all did that. Women aren't telling
men they can't cry. Men are telling men they can't cry.
Men set all of this up. And if we were
men be vulnerable, maybe they will stop murdering us. So
(07:35):
shout out too, I mean, are you ready for me
to be vulnerable? About oats? Hold on? We need to
say who who recommended this though, because it's actually what's
from a listener. Oh yeah, yeah, you're right. You're right here.
It was a listener, Kaya Carter, I believe gave us
versit me a very nice dm um. I do need
(07:57):
to respond to Kaya, thank you friend. Oatmeal versus gritz
is a great topic because it said oatmeal versus grit
slash cream of wheat, which makes me think that you
think that if you do oatmeal versus grit slash cream
and wheat, it makes me think that one your choice
is oatmeal and you feel like cream of wheat are equivalent.
(08:19):
Because what we could do is a three man snack down,
and I could tell you how oatmeal and cream a
wheat attract I'm not even gonna make you take on
cream of wheat right now because I'm passionate about oatmeal.
I like, great because you don't like cream and wheat either,
because nobody wants to eat wet cardboard. Yeah. I mean,
(08:39):
I don't even know if I've had cream of wheat,
to be honest with you, because you're not a Yankee,
I guess. I also just I don't even know if
i'd recognize it. I've never ordered it. I mean, I
don't know where you order. I think my mother bought
it one time. I did see in the story recently
cream of rice? Was it good or you just saw it?
(09:06):
I get. I'm just throwing out questions, you know, just
asking things. I did think about it, but and I
was like, wait, what I eat this with m because
creamer rice seems like something you give to a baby.
First of all, all this feels like baby food. Yeah,
well I think most of it is. Yeah, grits is
probably the only one that's the last the entire plate
(09:28):
of life. Do you have mean like breakfast grits that
you know, but oatmeal seems like its own thing. Yes,
oatmeal is breakfast or cookies. You can't put grits on
the side. I mean you you put grits on the
side of the plate. You can't put oatmeal on the
(09:48):
side of a plate. You know, with a little because
you've had your breakfast, eggs, bacon, a little bit of grits.
You can't put a little bit of oatmeal. People will
be like, so did you you throw up on my plate?
Are we fighting? What are we doing? Is this an attack?
Is the olt meal one of those things where it's
(10:08):
like grits is because this is why, this is why
fucks with grits heavy one. Grits can be breakfast, lunch, dinner, brunch.
Grits can be any meal. Mm hmm. You can have
your breakfast grits. You know, we've all had fish and grits, grits.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Did you say fish and grits. Yeah,
(10:29):
I've never had fish and grits at the same time.
You had shrimping grits. Yeah, the same concept. I know,
it's the same concept. I just didn't know people were
doing like whole like blackened catfish or whatever with fish. Oh,
fried fish with grits, Yeah, I didn't know that. But
the shrimp and grits, hey, they don't do them anymore.
This was oh, this, this is like heartbreaking. I remember
(10:51):
the first time I went there. They don't do them anymore.
They had a shrimp and grits place in Brooklyn that
was so good. It was so wild. And then they uh,
yeah it was seasoned. Well. They had they had a
little bit of a m I don't even I don't
even know what was called, but there was a there
was a dash of a little type of oil in
(11:14):
it that also gave it a great flavor, gave the
shrimp a great flavor and then you mix it and
gets in the grits. I think it was too much
flavor for It was probably too much flavor for people,
because I remember I had and I was like, oh,
I'm home, you know what I mean, Like, there's just
a moment where it flavor. And to be fair, they
(11:34):
did have other things in the restaurant, and those other
things were just okay, this was the one thing that
someone in the kitchen was doing like fire and then oh,
say something with too much flavor, and then everything else
didn't have enough. Yeah, yeah, thank you. But I guess
this is my thing. I see all the points that
you're making so far for grits with the timing, and
(11:55):
I agree, and I'll raise you though. That oatmeal comes
through with more variety. Okay, there's cinnamon oatmeal. There's there's
apple cinnamon oatmeal, there's uh which you call it strawberry exactly, Yes, yes, yes,
oatmeal is oatmeal is coming in with all the fruits.
(12:18):
Like a pancake. You can only put you can put
fruit in oatmeal, yes, fruit, little cream, little butter. There
was some cinnamon. Right now. Because I'm a good Christian woman,
I don't need grip sweet? Do people do that? A
lot of people do that. I did not know that
at all. Really, Oh my god, have you not been
(12:39):
on the internet. There was a big debate like during
like like not like lockdown, but like right after lock
like you know, when we were just in purgatory. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So it's like the Fall of twenty twenty where we're
just like, yeah, tactically we can be outside, yeah, but
do you want to be but you can't be outside?
Everything was also only your sikest friends are calling you, right,
(13:03):
Only your friends with a constant cough are the ones like, hey,
you all want to hang out on Tuesday? No, go home,
stay hot. So there was a thing on a lite
where people are just like talking about like doing skrits
with sugar or grits with salt, savory grits and sweet grits.
Savory gets grits. I don't believe in sweet grits because
(13:27):
I wasn't raised that way. My mama wasn't raised that,
you see what I'm saying. Maybe my grandma would do it,
I don't know, but I've never seen Buela put sugar
in grits. Sugar was gritz was always a savory situation.
It was always something because it could be had with
you know, your sauce of jagg and cheese. Right. My
brother never liked eggs when he was a little kid.
(13:47):
He didn't like when he was a baby, didn't like them.
And my mother tried to sneak eggs in his grits
and he would just be piti You don't get an eat, lady.
She tried to sneak as a couple. You know, it's
more proteins than young man. Yeah, but yes, sweet grids
is a it's a it's a debate in our community.
I don't know how you haven't heard about it. It's
it's like one of those It was in the lines
(14:09):
of like the washing your legs conversation we were having
with the so and now. The only thing, the sweetest
thing I've seen with grits is people who put a
little bit of ketchup on their grits. Wait, hold of
whoa whoa whoa flag on the motherfucking play. You've never
(14:30):
seen that. No, there's people in the world that put
a little bit of um. I mean, I know ketchman
hotsaus are not the same thing, but they might put
a little bit of hot sauce on their grids, their grits.
No ketchup when it comes to grits. H I have
had good grits. I have had terrible grits. And I've
(14:52):
also had polenta that someone tried to sell me as Yes,
that does that and that. Yeah, tell your chef to
come outside. Yeah. Yeah, it's fraud outside food, fraud, outside,
Ponzi scheme, fraud, game food, daisy unnecessary. You understand a
(15:19):
good person, Okay. I try to write by people, and
you put on your menu. It's my fault. I am
in Cleveland. Okay. It's also another W for oatmeal. No
it's not because, yeah it's not. It's not cut. I
have seen restaurant oatmeal. I think my oatmeal is that
(15:47):
the texture is never good. Never. Now, if you're not,
if you're somebody who don't know that when you cook
your grips, are you supposed to put butter and milk
in it? And you out here with the water only grits,
I can't do nothing for you. You got to save yourself. Yeah, yeah,
a lot of grits out there looking like a membrane. Listen,
(16:09):
not a membrane. Yeah, yeah, like a leafs like wow,
grits with just water like loose water, only grits. Yeah,
because if your grits don't solidify when they get cold,
so even could your grits are moving? Even could your
grits are moving? And you're learning so much about biology,
(16:32):
you know, the whole biology lessons in the pot. Listen.
I did have somebody ask me because one I found
out that technically grits oatmeal, cream of wheat, our porridge. Okay,
and technically when they were talking about that, please, sir,
can I have some mool he was talking about oatmeal. Yeah. See,
(16:58):
he want more oatmeal. He needed that us to because
he was poor, Josh, Yes, and he needed to get
it in. He needed to have anything, and anything's gonna
get him there. Single grit wouldn't have fed the poor boy.
He needed some more oatmeal. A single oat, A single
oat is bigger than a grit, an oat at oat
(17:22):
at oat is bigger than one grit. One oat. I'll
take oat all day just because of the size, the size,
the five. So you're saying the grits like we say
oatmeal of versus tip, because you could put fruit in it.
This is the thing. You can't do savory oatmeal. Mm hmmm.
Who is doing savory oatmeal? I feel like someone in
(17:45):
England is doing probably yeah, yeah, probably, And I'm not
even gonna vouch for it. I don't know it. I
don't know what's out there, but I'm not gonna say
that that is great. I haven't had it, so I
can't stay when you when haggis is made, oat mill
is the binder. I found that out when I went
(18:09):
to Scotland. I just realized I wanted a date when
I went to Scotland the first time. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
But then I found out he just wanted you wanted
to talk to me. I keep getting I've been tricked
by more than one white boy who is acting like
they want to go on a date, but then when
you get on the date, they just want to ask
(18:30):
me about comedy. I'm like, oh, I see, yeah, yeah, yeah,
you bitch. That definitely. I could see I see you.
I could see you, like your eyes squaring up where
you're like, oh, oh okay, all right, because you've already
(18:51):
s thoughted. You've always well played, well played. You just
in the middle of a restaurant. You did it. You
did yourself a bit trick me. You really tricked me.
I'm getting two desserts. Honestly, I'm might get two andres okay,
and I might slide one off the table. Yeah, soon
(19:16):
as they bring I'm gonna look at the server and
be like thank you, slide and then look at you
and be like clean it up. Listen like a cat
knocking something off a mantle. Just mhm mm hmm. What
are you doing so you always want to learn about
You're always been curious about comedy? Mmm. Sometimes they mention
(19:38):
it's about comedy. You slid it, but not all the way.
It's a quarter off the table, Like and what and
what about a career? You're like, oh, a career in finance.
You slide the plight back. But my friend's day, I'm
the funniest and I should go to an open mic.
But I don't think I'm really gonna do it there, girl,
(20:01):
But it is not it for a comedy class? Yeah?
You know, oatmeal, I have all these adends. You're just
talking about fruit. Okay, if hold on, grits can be
(20:21):
there's people that put sugar and grits. I've tried it.
I didn't like it because it's not how my mouth
is set up right, okay, But there are a lot
of people that do put sugar and grits. I have
a jelly get close with some grits and tried it reluctantly,
didn't hate it, Never do it again. But grits can
be sweet and savory. Okay, oatmeal, it's really only sweet.
(20:47):
But you see you say sweet and savory for grits,
but you also outside of putting a little cinnamon in it,
what are people doing it to make it sweet? Sugar
legitimately sugar, just putting straight sugar. Yes, But by that logic,
anything can be sweet because if you don't put like oatmeal,
(21:11):
if you don't put sugar in oatmeal, no, I know,
I know. I'm saying that oatmeal goes well with these
fruits that are added on, like that's a nice pairing,
whereas with grits if they don't, if it doesn't go
well with anything sweet and you just gotta put sugar
in it. Now, I've never heard of anybody putting fruit
(21:32):
and grits, which they shouldn't. Don't get me wrong, I'm
not making suggestions. I'm just saying this is the distinct
difference between the two. You know, grits have an overall
advantage when it comes to time. Like I said earlier, breakfast, lunch, dinner,
I think oatmeal swings it with pairing, with the paarability
of other things. That the experience of oatmeal only a
(21:57):
breakfast food, I know, but within breakfast, I'm saying it
has more. Yeah, but there's so many fruits, right, but
if you're not putting watermelon and oatmeal not putting watermelon,
but there's so many fruits that goes well with it
goes well with berries, m or whatever the fuck apples
(22:17):
are You were sound is so right until you said
that last thing that Wow, I wish we had points
so I could get that's uh because they're not a
stone fruit. Yeah yeah, yeah, I'm like, so peaches like nectarines, plums,
(22:41):
but like a peach. I've had like peach flavored oatmeal
and berry flavors, and yeah, what kind of fruit is it? Apple? Look,
what's the classification of apple? And a pear? Is the
tree fruit fruit? Well we both said that, so that's
(23:14):
my things. It okay, it's called a palm fruit. Oh okay,
oh m e. Now listen, you can't make fun of me. Okay,
m hm, because it says palm fruits are members of
the plant family and it's spelled r O s A
C E A E. I know it's not Rosa sho.
I'm fully aware of that. That's that is funny though,
(23:37):
that that's very funny because when you say when you
spell something, because when sometimes someone someone spells something for you,
if you don't already know the word they're spelling, you
have to put it together in real time. So I
was also like, there's no way that's rosa shum. Any
fruit that can be dehydrated is normally dehydrated and then
(23:59):
can be thrown in with a dry mix of a
of a oatmeal will go well with the oatmeal. And
I think that's a lot more fruits than um. Well,
they dehydrates things and put them in grits. It's just
different types of cheeses and butter. Yeah. Yeah, and the look,
there are a lot of cheeses that go well with
grits that people don't even try. You know, you put
(24:21):
cheese in oatmeal. So is this what I'm just asking? Okay,
I'm just asking yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, But that's yeah,
clearly anybody could do whatever they want water. Can you
(24:43):
put cheese on oatmeal? It's like not if you're saying,
but who knows? But why not? But why not? I
mean they use it to make haggis sandwich. I'm sure
there's someone in the UK that's putting cheese on their
their oats. I mean we're putting cheese on ramen now,
so I don't know, is that real? Yes, cheesy savory smell.
(25:12):
If you saw a recipe, I guess people are doing it.
Question answered, ham, egg and cheese oatmeal. I'm just I'm
not here for it, so help me out. Besides fish,
what other food pairings would you say that grits go with.
You can do fish, you can do shrimp. I've had
(25:34):
it with like a savory crab creamy so mostly seafood. Right, Well,
you can do no because for breakfast you're doing all
your breakfast meats, your bacons, your hams, your sausages. Yeah yeah, um,
I bet you could do countryfied steak and grits. I
bet that'd be good country for steak. Yeah, I've never
had that. Oh, we might have to have that together.
(25:57):
That's that's that does sound like a good pairing to
go back. Grits are inherently poor people food and very
much originally you know from you know, I guess the
real food history of it. I think it might have
been a food that was like enslaved people. So when
you make cornmeal, m grits is what they would throw
(26:21):
away when they make corn meal. It's a part they
didn't grind all the way down, and so you take
that and that's why you have to boil it to
make it edible, because it's literally the it's like almost
like a tiny it's the best way, I guess it
like a little like a becauld. You see when you
cook corn, that little pebble kind of thing that's inside
(26:44):
a piece of corn. When you cook corn, that's great
and you just get a bunch of those together and
then your belly is a little But I can say
that I realize that for me, I am not a
wheat person. Okay, I'm a rice and a corn And
I think you have to know that about yourself. I
think you have to what carbs you like, because like
(27:11):
so many people have this. Uh I don't call ciliacs,
but one of my h oh yeah, yeah, yeah, a girl,
an acquaintance of mine, she has it, and I can
you not have grits if you have ciliacs? You can?
You can because oh okay, but a second I was confused. No,
I'd be like, oh, you got the SIMILARX disease and
(27:32):
she was like yeah, and I was like, what you're not?
Just said? But um also, look, you know the grits
nutrition facts. I think when I looked him up, I
was a little uh unimpressed. You know, oatmeal's bringing you iron,
(27:54):
all right, iron and corn? Uh there's very little iron
in grits. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but oatmeal you know sometimes
And I love that we do this because it lets
you know when something is a bit inferior or something else.
Who Grits not coming through with any vitamin C, any calcium,
(28:17):
any vitamin D, very little B six, very little magnesium.
You know, it really is just there too, like you said,
sort of keep the belly full and move on. You
really need to pair something else grits, you know, so
that you get some nutrients in. Because I think I've
given credit to grits for its versatility in meals, and
(28:39):
now I'm realizing it's a hanger on. Okay, it's a
it's a leech. Okay, it's a social climber. It's what
it is. Whoa whoa whoa oat meals out here being
in its own bowl, standing on its own two oats. Okay,
now let me see something to say. Okay, why Southern
(29:00):
the grits. Grits are an iconic Southern disiha dates back
as far as the sixteenth century. They were originally made
by drawing corn colonels and boring them to create a mush.
That's still how grits are made. Um, grits were introduced
into Southern cooking. When the Native Okay, there's a way
that we talk about Native Americans that always think is weird. Yeah,
(29:21):
we always couldn't identify in front of it when the
Native I've always thought it was saying when Native Americans
the Native. What I'm saying. I think that's because if
you say Native Americans, this is this is like this
is just like I think, a semantics thing. But once
people from England started being born here, they were also
(29:44):
native to America. That's why when you're distinguishing udia, say
the Native Americans, so that we can distinguish people because
we're natives, like we were born here, you know, as
America is using the term indigenous. I think so. Yeah,
I think so because because technically anybody born somewhere is
(30:06):
native to that place. So just so there was no confusion.
We weren't like, you know, the Native Americans, as in
anyone who was born here. It's like, no, the natives, right,
the original people of this land got it, just wondering,
just trying to learn um. Any of the Native Americans
(30:27):
served grits to Sir Walter Rawley's men and the subsequent
Jamestown colonists. So grits came from the dative Americans, and
then I guess white people started eating them, and then
black people went hey, hey, hey, hey, we got it.
I think in yeah, I think in slavery. That was
exactly the way you described it is what happened, like
(30:50):
past the initial Native Americans making a version of it,
and then we made a version of it because corn
wasn't it was indigenous to the New World, so we
didn't know about corn. Yeah, it was a new plant.
There was munching on. It's like, hey, hey, what y'all,
what y'all munching on? What's what's this? We We got
(31:11):
wheats and oats and some ship called amaranths spelt. What's that?
What y'all crunching on crunching? H You know, I think
I think I'm confident, but you can't be because I
can't be. No, I can't be. I'm talking about no
about oatmeal. Yes, about oatmeal. I'm very confident about oatmeal. Yes,
(31:37):
But what because because well, with other things, it's more
be six, it's coming through with iron things. You needing
your diet. I can eat grits and eat a vitamin
to be fucking fine. What I'm saying is you don't
have to put a vitamin and your grits to have
a vitamin. Just remember that. Don't be like, oh I'm
(32:00):
man about gritce. You have your old meal, make sure
you drop a couple of b sas vitamins, get a
multi vitam. But really trying to go life together. What
I'm saying is grits are more versatile. You compare them
with meats, you compare them with veggies. You know you
ever had like because my homeboy was making breakfast. You know, Papa,
he was making breakfast one day, because Papa makes breakfast,
(32:22):
it's great. We love Papa. And he made grits and
he will make like white gravy from scratch, which I'd
never seen any like even my mom may never make
right gravest scratch. I never seen that in my life. Yeah,
and so he made up some like Brussels sprouts or
whatever because he's like, well, we gotta have a little
veggie with breakfast. I'm like, I think we're eating brunch now. Um,
(32:42):
but grits. Put a little like grits with eggs and
some sausage with some like Brussels sprouts. That's a good
brunchy meal, right, he got my vitamins. Okay, couple, I'm
at Rilet's. But I think that you could have or
you could took that same meal to take off the
bacon and the eggs and you could put down some
(33:03):
shrimpis or you could put down you know, macro freighters
or salmon or anything you know rich you can flip in.
Like you said, oatmeal don't get served on the side. Yeah,
oatmeal and getting added to nothing. I'm not out here
trying to try savior oldmeal. If you really want to
know what's happening, are you will are? Do you want
(33:26):
to try savory oatmeal? Do you want to see if
you can put cheese and bacon and eggs. Look oatmeal.
Do you think your ancestors would contell you to bless
you and smile? They down on their faces. How about this,
(33:47):
I will try savory oatmeal before I would try sweet grits.
That's legitimate. You're a good man. That makes sense. Yeah, yeah,
I haven't that. You know. You talk about versatility and
I I'm not seeing it. I'm not seeing it. I'm saying,
So you don't want to put because to make anything,
(34:08):
because to make oatmeal sweet, you have to put sugar
in it. No, I know, but I'm saying, I'm saying,
when we talk about nutrition alone, okay, nutrition, fine, m
there might not be as much of anything. Yeah, of
the things, there are some stuffs and grits. There's some stuff. Yeah,
(34:28):
you're right, that's the right word to use for it.
There's some stuff. There's some general junk you can digest eventually.
What in the hell. Yeah. Yeah, and once you've once
you've added butter and you've boiled some milk. I'm with you. Yeah,
you have to add butter to fucking oatmeal too, No,
(34:48):
not really butter, yes, no, no, no, no no, no, okay,
So grit it's got protein, it's got carbohydrates. Faber, there's
no sugar and grits. I'm with you, but I'm saying,
how much of those things does it have? There is
(35:10):
iron and grits, you're jerk. There's the iron you need
a day. Magnesium. Yeah, you might as well bite a
piece of metal to get bored. You're good from grits.
M hmm. Just you're just saying things that have trace
amounts in there. Who's trace trace tracy amounts in there?
(35:40):
I said it in the in the beginning episode. I
say again, brothers out there, men, my men, okay, I
love you. Always dine out the man you wash strong bones. No, no,
I'll talk. I'll talk to the women too. I'm just saying,
you know, it's these men out here that need guidance.
That's okay. So I'm saying, and my man, listen, open
(36:03):
your ears harder. I know you think you're listening. Open
them wide, okay, get them so, open the air pod,
slip out a little bit. Okay, open your ears and
listen to me. Get that oatmeal in, okay. Get your calcium, okay,
get your iron in. You wan't be iron. You want
to be a hard body. You want to be an
(36:24):
iron man? Yeah, you iron in your body? What that fiber?
That fiber? Be honest, man. However, you can go into
the bathroom. You're going that they need to drink You're going, yeah,
drink your water, all right, that's why we're dying out here.
(36:45):
No fiber, Okay, stay fibrous, stay healthy, stay manly. Okay,
and uh, you know my thoughts are with you. What Yeah, yeah,
you don't be thinking about you all right. One h
(37:07):
A lot of us aren't eating breakfast. Yeah, a lot
of us are skipping breakfast. That's fair, and we need
to be eating breakfast. There's one thing my nutrition has
said me is like you have to if you wouldn't
do anything if your body wants to be right, if
you want to you know, if you're trying to just
improve your health overall. Right. Yeah, but also so you
(37:29):
get very tired during the day, Like I would be
waking up at nine, I wouldn't eat till one pm.
I knew, Drisch Just like, what's all are you doing? Yeah,
your body isn't starvation mode all the time, right, So
we gotta start eating breakfast more. You gotta start drinking more. Water.
I'm sorry, but we do, we do, we do? I
the doctor tell me is like a lot of the
stuff that people will have issues with if they would
(37:51):
just drink more water, they can just flush stuff out
of their body because you just sit in your liver,
or just sit in your kidneys, or just sit in
your calling water. So we gotta start eating breakfast. We
gotta start remember the flush. Yes, remember the flush. Uh
you know, be your own handle to your own plumbing.
Um hm. Also we have to remember that grits came
(38:19):
from and oppressed people. What are you doing? What are
you doing right now? Grits came for people myna own business.
And then the hot man showed him and what did
(38:43):
he bring with him? Were you? What did he bring? Josh?
Were you? I don't think no, no, don't don't don't
put that on me that it's not There's no way
brought oatmeal. That's what happened. I think. I think oats
(39:07):
grew here. Don't do that that they were here. Corn
wasn't over there? How was oats over here? Because a
place can have its own things, the place can have
its own foods. Is oatmeal indigenous? How is oatmeal gonna
be the it's just oats. It's just did oats grow
(39:27):
here already? Corn didn't grow in Tomatoes didn't grow in Europe.
Pumpkin didn't grow in Europe. They listen, If it wasn't
for Marco Polo and we isn't corn. That's what I'm saying.
Think about it. If it wasn't for Marco Polo in Columbus,
(39:49):
there would be no there would be no pasta. You
know what I'm saying. There would be no there'd be
no pasta. So the whole rest of the world didn't
have corn, and is the white folks hopped on a
boat and came up and brought their happy asses over here.
So some plants so grew everywhere. I don't think eggplant
(40:10):
lived grew in Europe. So I don't know what these
I don't know what they was eating before fucking somebody
sell the ocean blue. All I'm saying is that the
white man brought oap Man. And what I'm not gonna
do is promote the white man, thrains. I'm not doing it.
(40:38):
I'm not doing it. Okay, we've been to two much, Joshua.
I think I think you're taking some real liberties here.
And justice for all. Okay, thank y'all so much for
live No, don't do that. Don't do that because because
because because we also have to do a show out out.
(41:00):
Another another quick shout out to our our friend who
wrote in and gave us this suggestion. Dull say, what
was what was the hand on that one? This is
key underscore Carter, because I'm just here to help Josh.
I'm here to have yeah, yeah, man, I'm very helpful.
We're gonna kick it to you the listener. All right,
I want to hear from you. Do you like oatmeal?
(41:23):
Do you put up with grits? Do you enjoy having
grains at all? And I would ask you, do you,
as a listener eat the white Man's porch? Or do
you enjoy the versatility that is the crypt I'm just
(41:50):
trying to help people be blessed, you know what I mean.
I just want folks to know all of the facts
and for my sione. Okay, you if you're looking to
catch up with us in any other form, you can
find us on social you know, I'm at josh Shots
Comedy on TikTok and Instagram, also on YouTube, and then
(42:12):
you can also check out my other podcast to Josh
Johnson Show. We also record and post every Thursday where
you listen to podcasts, and if you were looking for
Dulce Sloan, you can catch me in the mall with
your daddy. Or it's so fun to say what it
(42:42):
made the science say, somebody to call Rihanna. I'm my
Boston draws with him. Yes, I'm in here. I'm out
here in the mall with you mother fucking daddy. Or
you can catch me on the nwel can catch on
Al Gore's Internet. You know, um, Dick Cheney's arch nemesis. Uh,
I got a show coming up. We're on the road,
Josh on the road. We're not on the road together. Listen.
(43:04):
If y'all want us to do this goofy shit life,
tell us and we would love to come to your city,
hang out with your pap Paul, and just see if
you can take me to a rainbow in your local.
Now I didn't say, Tory, your dad can take me
(43:30):
to a rainbow? Really okay with it? Don't tell your mom?
Be cool? Um, let us know, let us know if
you're gonna be coming to a show, if you want
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Com backslash dul Say Sloan. That's one of the best
ways to get ahold of everything that is us, and
(43:51):
those links will be in the episode. Thank y'all so
much for real, we'd love you. Yeah, Hey, everybody, it's Josh.
I am going to be on the road as part
of the Freshman Tour. I'm going to be in all
of these cities coming up, and I would love to
see you there. You can get your tickets in the
(44:12):
link that we provide in the show notes, but March
thirty first through April first, I'm gonna be in Fort Collins, Colorado,
April ninth, I'll be in Atlanta April tenth, Nashville April twelfth, Mobile,
Alabama April thirteenth, New Orleans April fourteenth, Baton Rouge, and
April twent through the twenty second, I'm gonna be in
San Diego, California, so i'd love to see you there. Hello, friends,
(44:35):
I've got some dates coming up where you can see
me your girl telling the comedy jokes. I'm gonna be
at the Blue Room Comedy cub in Springfield, Missouri, April
sixth through the eighth. I'm going to be at the
moon Tower Comedy Festival in Austin, Texas, April nineteenth through
the twenty second. And I'm going to be at Last
Boston and Boston, Massachusetts, May eleventh through May thirteenth. It'll
(45:02):
be available on my website Emma Leak three and just
at the club probably so come see me. I love
you bye.
The sweetest thing I've seen with grits is people who
put a little bit ketch up on their grits. Wait,
hold the whoa whoa whoa flag on the motherfucking play.
You've never seen that. No, there's people in the world
that put a little bit of um. I mean, I know,
(00:21):
catchment hot sauce are not the same thing, but they
might put a little bit of hot sauce on their grits.
My grits. No, thank you for tuning in to hold up.
My name is Josh Johnson. I'm one of your co hosts.
I'm from writer for The Daily Show, and I am
joined by Cap k cat mm hmm no, no, no, no, no,
(00:49):
tap dance with the talk. I got it. Co co Oh,
you don't know anything about the balls. Okay, you don't
get it. You never see that. They were like Katriya
Kata Katrina and someone's like dancing. No, I've seen it, Yeah,
like Paris's burning type stuff, right, yes Paris, Yes, yes, yes,
(01:10):
I went unto one of those balls so bad. I
do too. I have a real appreciation for them, even
though I don't fully understand everything that's going on. It's
all amazing. Well, it's like, you know, they call it
a death drop, but it's actually called a dip, is
what it's actually called. But there was this guy that
did this one. I have to find the video. This
man did such this parson, he just did this move.
(01:32):
They just did this move. Because I don't how they identified.
I don't want to be rude, but the move that
they did it was like almost like a soft back flip,
but they were holding like the bottom of their foot
and the legistraining yes, yes, yes, I've seen it. I've
seen it. Why do you see someone in the background
just grab the other person and then get up? And
(01:53):
this is one has to be like no, no, no, comeback.
And it's like anytime you see something that makes you
run away, it's like when black people are thinking they
go to run away. Yes, I would even go as
far as to say that when I saw it, I
was like, in order for me to do it, I
would need to be shot like that whole, that whole
movement that was done. I could only do it if
(02:15):
I had been knocked backwards but was also passing out,
but it was also fighting to stay awake like that,
Like that's what all that means. Also a trained cheerleader
in gymnast. Yes, yes, all those things happening simultaneously. So
for the listeners, we didn't try to educate you on
certain things, just having a genuine moment. But ball culture,
(02:38):
ball culture, which is so confusing when they're trying to
outlaw these drag shows, which is so smooth as well.
Ball culture. It's smooth. Is it's an elegant you know,
you know what else is smooth? You know what else
is elegant? You know what else is giving breakfast? All right?
And you know what in breakfast is smooth? You know
(03:00):
what in breakfast is nutritious. It builds that body up
to kick back, to kick out, to pop out, to
duck walk. It's our topic today, all right. Our topic
today is oatmeal versus grits. I'll say this. I want
to listen, to take a moment to decide what side
(03:24):
they're on. Play the music. Okay, we're back. So I
know that some of you chose grits, and then some
of you are wrong, Josh. First of all, the fact
that you think that oatmeal is smooth. Oatmeal is a
(03:48):
cobblestone street in a boat. Okay, Okay, if you if
you want are you Are you trying to bring up
the bad oatmeals because I'm talking about the good oatmeals. Okay.
Are you trying to bring up the bad water to
oatmeal mix, water to oats mix, the non steel cut mix,
(04:09):
or are you talking about all oatmeal to begin with?
Listen one, I don't understand why we need steel to
cut these oats. How much of these oats pushing back?
Or you have to tell me that these oats are
steel cut? What else are we cutting oats with? What
is the difference? What is the significance? M I have
(04:32):
a steel cut oat. Okay, you can't cut this. You
can't cut this or iron or aluminum to be steel?
M hmm, should probably be steel. You know, what's the
whole like? What's the plant look like? I know what
grits come from corn? M hmm. What do oats look like? Show?
(04:58):
They look like if you're in a hornfield and you're
walking past the lower like the plants that don't go
as high, you know, like you're running your fingers through
some wheat. It looks kind of like that. Oh, I
just learned something interesting. M. Do you know a vino
has like oat milk in it? Mhmm. The reason that
(05:18):
so it looks like the name of oats is a
vena sativa. Yeah, that must be why they call the luno.
I don't know, I never I never thought about it
until just now. See, how do we figure out were
supposed to eat this? You give stuff a try, you know,
you be a pioneer. Okay, First of all, that's that's
one of the reasons why we're not discovering new foods
(05:40):
now is because, like I said before, like I've said
in previous podcasts, all right, this is I mean, you
take a step back for a second and need to
take a quick break. Okay for the men, all right,
for my men, you need to keep being pioneers. You
need to keep eating stuff that you don't know if
you be eating it. You need to keep putting stuff
(06:01):
in your mouth to see if it has nutritional value.
All right, Hey, we're counting on you because because oats
different milks, where did that come from? It came from pioneers,
It came from bravery, fortune favors the bold. I'll tell
you this. You know what, you know you said putting
(06:22):
things in menmouth nutritional You know what I'm gonna say.
Let's jump ahead, let's jump ahead. You know what I'm
gonna do. You know what I'm gonna do? Okay, I see,
I see, I see how you are? I see okay,
because I'm trying to give fellowship, to employ leadership to
these med out here that have lost their way. Oh no, no,
(06:46):
there's so many. Listen, I can tell you this. We're
asking men to be vulnerable. Yes, sure, it's sure face.
They have to adjust how they're going, they have to
decide how they're going to do it to be vulnerable. Yes,
because sometimes they can be vulnerable. It's just humans in general.
(07:09):
Because I know this is a new thing for men,
because like I was talking to this guy yesterday, he
was like, well, you know, the world is set up
for women to be able to vulnerable and cry. And
I was like, but y'all did that. Women aren't telling
men they can't cry. Men are telling men they can't cry.
Men set all of this up. And if we were
men be vulnerable, maybe they will stop murdering us. So
(07:35):
shout out too, I mean, are you ready for me
to be vulnerable? About oats? Hold on? We need to
say who who recommended this though, because it's actually what's
from a listener. Oh yeah, yeah, you're right. You're right here.
It was a listener, Kaya Carter, I believe gave us
versit me a very nice dm um. I do need
(07:57):
to respond to Kaya, thank you friend. Oatmeal versus gritz
is a great topic because it said oatmeal versus grit
slash cream of wheat, which makes me think that you
think that if you do oatmeal versus grit slash cream
and wheat, it makes me think that one your choice
is oatmeal and you feel like cream of wheat are equivalent.
(08:19):
Because what we could do is a three man snack down,
and I could tell you how oatmeal and cream a
wheat attract I'm not even gonna make you take on
cream of wheat right now because I'm passionate about oatmeal.
I like, great because you don't like cream and wheat either,
because nobody wants to eat wet cardboard. Yeah. I mean,
(08:39):
I don't even know if I've had cream of wheat,
to be honest with you, because you're not a Yankee,
I guess. I also just I don't even know if
i'd recognize it. I've never ordered it. I mean, I
don't know where you order. I think my mother bought
it one time. I did see in the story recently
cream of rice? Was it good or you just saw it?
(09:06):
I get. I'm just throwing out questions, you know, just
asking things. I did think about it, but and I
was like, wait, what I eat this with m because
creamer rice seems like something you give to a baby.
First of all, all this feels like baby food. Yeah,
well I think most of it is. Yeah, grits is
probably the only one that's the last the entire plate
(09:28):
of life. Do you have mean like breakfast grits that
you know, but oatmeal seems like its own thing. Yes,
oatmeal is breakfast or cookies. You can't put grits on
the side. I mean you you put grits on the
side of the plate. You can't put oatmeal on the
(09:48):
side of a plate. You know, with a little because
you've had your breakfast, eggs, bacon, a little bit of grits.
You can't put a little bit of oatmeal. People will
be like, so did you you throw up on my plate?
Are we fighting? What are we doing? Is this an attack?
Is the olt meal one of those things where it's
(10:08):
like grits is because this is why, this is why
fucks with grits heavy one. Grits can be breakfast, lunch, dinner, brunch.
Grits can be any meal. Mm hmm. You can have
your breakfast grits. You know, we've all had fish and grits, grits.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Did you say fish and grits. Yeah,
(10:29):
I've never had fish and grits at the same time.
You had shrimping grits. Yeah, the same concept. I know,
it's the same concept. I just didn't know people were
doing like whole like blackened catfish or whatever with fish. Oh,
fried fish with grits, Yeah, I didn't know that. But
the shrimp and grits, hey, they don't do them anymore.
This was oh, this, this is like heartbreaking. I remember
(10:51):
the first time I went there. They don't do them anymore.
They had a shrimp and grits place in Brooklyn that
was so good. It was so wild. And then they uh,
yeah it was seasoned. Well. They had they had a
little bit of a m I don't even I don't
even know what was called, but there was a there
was a dash of a little type of oil in
(11:14):
it that also gave it a great flavor, gave the
shrimp a great flavor and then you mix it and
gets in the grits. I think it was too much
flavor for It was probably too much flavor for people,
because I remember I had and I was like, oh,
I'm home, you know what I mean, Like, there's just
a moment where it flavor. And to be fair, they
(11:34):
did have other things in the restaurant, and those other
things were just okay, this was the one thing that
someone in the kitchen was doing like fire and then oh,
say something with too much flavor, and then everything else
didn't have enough. Yeah, yeah, thank you. But I guess
this is my thing. I see all the points that
you're making so far for grits with the timing, and
(11:55):
I agree, and I'll raise you though. That oatmeal comes
through with more variety. Okay, there's cinnamon oatmeal. There's there's
apple cinnamon oatmeal, there's uh which you call it strawberry exactly, Yes, yes, yes,
oatmeal is oatmeal is coming in with all the fruits.
(12:18):
Like a pancake. You can only put you can put
fruit in oatmeal, yes, fruit, little cream, little butter. There
was some cinnamon. Right now. Because I'm a good Christian woman,
I don't need grip sweet? Do people do that? A
lot of people do that. I did not know that
at all. Really, Oh my god, have you not been
(12:39):
on the internet. There was a big debate like during
like like not like lockdown, but like right after lock
like you know, when we were just in purgatory. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So it's like the Fall of twenty twenty where we're
just like, yeah, tactically we can be outside, yeah, but
do you want to be but you can't be outside?
Everything was also only your sikest friends are calling you, right,
(13:03):
Only your friends with a constant cough are the ones like, hey,
you all want to hang out on Tuesday? No, go home,
stay hot. So there was a thing on a lite
where people are just like talking about like doing skrits
with sugar or grits with salt, savory grits and sweet grits.
Savory gets grits. I don't believe in sweet grits because
(13:27):
I wasn't raised that way. My mama wasn't raised that,
you see what I'm saying. Maybe my grandma would do it,
I don't know, but I've never seen Buela put sugar
in grits. Sugar was gritz was always a savory situation.
It was always something because it could be had with
you know, your sauce of jagg and cheese. Right. My
brother never liked eggs when he was a little kid.
(13:47):
He didn't like when he was a baby, didn't like them.
And my mother tried to sneak eggs in his grits
and he would just be piti You don't get an eat, lady.
She tried to sneak as a couple. You know, it's
more proteins than young man. Yeah, but yes, sweet grids
is a it's a it's a debate in our community.
I don't know how you haven't heard about it. It's
it's like one of those It was in the lines
(14:09):
of like the washing your legs conversation we were having
with the so and now. The only thing, the sweetest
thing I've seen with grits is people who put a
little bit of ketchup on their grits. Wait, hold of
whoa whoa whoa flag on the motherfucking play. You've never
(14:30):
seen that. No, there's people in the world that put
a little bit of um. I mean, I know ketchman
hotsaus are not the same thing, but they might put
a little bit of hot sauce on their grids, their grits.
No ketchup when it comes to grits. H I have
had good grits. I have had terrible grits. And I've
(14:52):
also had polenta that someone tried to sell me as Yes,
that does that and that. Yeah, tell your chef to
come outside. Yeah. Yeah, it's fraud outside food, fraud, outside,
Ponzi scheme, fraud, game food, daisy unnecessary. You understand a
(15:19):
good person, Okay. I try to write by people, and
you put on your menu. It's my fault. I am
in Cleveland. Okay. It's also another W for oatmeal. No
it's not because, yeah it's not. It's not cut. I
have seen restaurant oatmeal. I think my oatmeal is that
(15:47):
the texture is never good. Never. Now, if you're not,
if you're somebody who don't know that when you cook
your grips, are you supposed to put butter and milk
in it? And you out here with the water only grits,
I can't do nothing for you. You got to save yourself. Yeah, yeah,
a lot of grits out there looking like a membrane. Listen,
(16:09):
not a membrane. Yeah, yeah, like a leafs like wow,
grits with just water like loose water, only grits. Yeah,
because if your grits don't solidify when they get cold,
so even could your grits are moving? Even could your
grits are moving? And you're learning so much about biology,
(16:32):
you know, the whole biology lessons in the pot. Listen.
I did have somebody ask me because one I found
out that technically grits oatmeal, cream of wheat, our porridge. Okay,
and technically when they were talking about that, please, sir,
can I have some mool he was talking about oatmeal. Yeah. See,
(16:58):
he want more oatmeal. He needed that us to because
he was poor, Josh, Yes, and he needed to get
it in. He needed to have anything, and anything's gonna
get him there. Single grit wouldn't have fed the poor boy.
He needed some more oatmeal. A single oat, A single
oat is bigger than a grit, an oat at oat
(17:22):
at oat is bigger than one grit. One oat. I'll
take oat all day just because of the size, the size,
the five. So you're saying the grits like we say
oatmeal of versus tip, because you could put fruit in it.
This is the thing. You can't do savory oatmeal. Mm hmmm.
Who is doing savory oatmeal? I feel like someone in
(17:45):
England is doing probably yeah, yeah, probably, And I'm not
even gonna vouch for it. I don't know it. I
don't know what's out there, but I'm not gonna say
that that is great. I haven't had it, so I
can't stay when you when haggis is made, oat mill
is the binder. I found that out when I went
(18:09):
to Scotland. I just realized I wanted a date when
I went to Scotland the first time. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
But then I found out he just wanted you wanted
to talk to me. I keep getting I've been tricked
by more than one white boy who is acting like
they want to go on a date, but then when
you get on the date, they just want to ask
(18:30):
me about comedy. I'm like, oh, I see, yeah, yeah, yeah,
you bitch. That definitely. I could see I see you.
I could see you, like your eyes squaring up where
you're like, oh, oh okay, all right, because you've already
(18:51):
s thoughted. You've always well played, well played. You just
in the middle of a restaurant. You did it. You
did yourself a bit trick me. You really tricked me.
I'm getting two desserts. Honestly, I'm might get two andres okay,
and I might slide one off the table. Yeah, soon
(19:16):
as they bring I'm gonna look at the server and
be like thank you, slide and then look at you
and be like clean it up. Listen like a cat
knocking something off a mantle. Just mhm mm hmm. What
are you doing so you always want to learn about
You're always been curious about comedy? Mmm. Sometimes they mention
(19:38):
it's about comedy. You slid it, but not all the way.
It's a quarter off the table, Like and what and
what about a career? You're like, oh, a career in finance.
You slide the plight back. But my friend's day, I'm
the funniest and I should go to an open mic.
But I don't think I'm really gonna do it there, girl,
(20:01):
But it is not it for a comedy class? Yeah?
You know, oatmeal, I have all these adends. You're just
talking about fruit. Okay, if hold on, grits can be
(20:21):
there's people that put sugar and grits. I've tried it.
I didn't like it because it's not how my mouth
is set up right, okay, But there are a lot
of people that do put sugar and grits. I have
a jelly get close with some grits and tried it reluctantly,
didn't hate it, Never do it again. But grits can
be sweet and savory. Okay, oatmeal, it's really only sweet.
(20:47):
But you see you say sweet and savory for grits,
but you also outside of putting a little cinnamon in it,
what are people doing it to make it sweet? Sugar
legitimately sugar, just putting straight sugar. Yes, But by that logic,
anything can be sweet because if you don't put like oatmeal,
(21:11):
if you don't put sugar in oatmeal, no, I know,
I know. I'm saying that oatmeal goes well with these
fruits that are added on, like that's a nice pairing,
whereas with grits if they don't, if it doesn't go
well with anything sweet and you just gotta put sugar
in it. Now, I've never heard of anybody putting fruit
(21:32):
and grits, which they shouldn't. Don't get me wrong, I'm
not making suggestions. I'm just saying this is the distinct
difference between the two. You know, grits have an overall
advantage when it comes to time. Like I said earlier, breakfast, lunch, dinner,
I think oatmeal swings it with pairing, with the paarability
of other things. That the experience of oatmeal only a
(21:57):
breakfast food, I know, but within breakfast, I'm saying it
has more. Yeah, but there's so many fruits, right, but
if you're not putting watermelon and oatmeal not putting watermelon,
but there's so many fruits that goes well with it
goes well with berries, m or whatever the fuck apples
(22:17):
are You were sound is so right until you said
that last thing that Wow, I wish we had points
so I could get that's uh because they're not a
stone fruit. Yeah yeah, yeah, I'm like, so peaches like nectarines, plums,
(22:41):
but like a peach. I've had like peach flavored oatmeal
and berry flavors, and yeah, what kind of fruit is it? Apple? Look,
what's the classification of apple? And a pear? Is the
tree fruit fruit? Well we both said that, so that's
(23:14):
my things. It okay, it's called a palm fruit. Oh okay,
oh m e. Now listen, you can't make fun of me. Okay,
m hm, because it says palm fruits are members of
the plant family and it's spelled r O s A
C E A E. I know it's not Rosa sho.
I'm fully aware of that. That's that is funny though,
(23:37):
that that's very funny because when you say when you
spell something, because when sometimes someone someone spells something for you,
if you don't already know the word they're spelling, you
have to put it together in real time. So I
was also like, there's no way that's rosa shum. Any
fruit that can be dehydrated is normally dehydrated and then
(23:59):
can be thrown in with a dry mix of a
of a oatmeal will go well with the oatmeal. And
I think that's a lot more fruits than um. Well,
they dehydrates things and put them in grits. It's just
different types of cheeses and butter. Yeah. Yeah, and the look,
there are a lot of cheeses that go well with
grits that people don't even try. You know, you put
(24:21):
cheese in oatmeal. So is this what I'm just asking? Okay,
I'm just asking yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, But that's yeah,
clearly anybody could do whatever they want water. Can you
(24:43):
put cheese on oatmeal? It's like not if you're saying,
but who knows? But why not? But why not? I
mean they use it to make haggis sandwich. I'm sure
there's someone in the UK that's putting cheese on their
their oats. I mean we're putting cheese on ramen now,
so I don't know, is that real? Yes, cheesy savory smell.
(25:12):
If you saw a recipe, I guess people are doing it.
Question answered, ham, egg and cheese oatmeal. I'm just I'm
not here for it, so help me out. Besides fish,
what other food pairings would you say that grits go with.
You can do fish, you can do shrimp. I've had
(25:34):
it with like a savory crab creamy so mostly seafood. Right, Well,
you can do no because for breakfast you're doing all
your breakfast meats, your bacons, your hams, your sausages. Yeah yeah, um,
I bet you could do countryfied steak and grits. I
bet that'd be good country for steak. Yeah, I've never
had that. Oh, we might have to have that together.
(25:57):
That's that's that does sound like a good pairing to
go back. Grits are inherently poor people food and very
much originally you know from you know, I guess the
real food history of it. I think it might have
been a food that was like enslaved people. So when
you make cornmeal, m grits is what they would throw
(26:21):
away when they make corn meal. It's a part they
didn't grind all the way down, and so you take
that and that's why you have to boil it to
make it edible, because it's literally the it's like almost
like a tiny it's the best way, I guess it
like a little like a becauld. You see when you
cook corn, that little pebble kind of thing that's inside
(26:44):
a piece of corn. When you cook corn, that's great
and you just get a bunch of those together and
then your belly is a little But I can say
that I realize that for me, I am not a
wheat person. Okay, I'm a rice and a corn And
I think you have to know that about yourself. I
think you have to what carbs you like, because like
(27:11):
so many people have this. Uh I don't call ciliacs,
but one of my h oh yeah, yeah, yeah, a girl,
an acquaintance of mine, she has it, and I can
you not have grits if you have ciliacs? You can?
You can because oh okay, but a second I was confused. No,
I'd be like, oh, you got the SIMILARX disease and
(27:32):
she was like yeah, and I was like, what you're not?
Just said? But um also, look, you know the grits
nutrition facts. I think when I looked him up, I
was a little uh unimpressed. You know, oatmeal's bringing you iron,
(27:54):
all right, iron and corn? Uh there's very little iron
in grits. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but oatmeal you know sometimes
And I love that we do this because it lets
you know when something is a bit inferior or something else.
Who Grits not coming through with any vitamin C, any calcium,
(28:17):
any vitamin D, very little B six, very little magnesium.
You know, it really is just there too, like you said,
sort of keep the belly full and move on. You
really need to pair something else grits, you know, so
that you get some nutrients in. Because I think I've
given credit to grits for its versatility in meals, and
(28:39):
now I'm realizing it's a hanger on. Okay, it's a
it's a leech. Okay, it's a social climber. It's what
it is. Whoa whoa whoa oat meals out here being
in its own bowl, standing on its own two oats. Okay,
now let me see something to say. Okay, why Southern
(29:00):
the grits. Grits are an iconic Southern disiha dates back
as far as the sixteenth century. They were originally made
by drawing corn colonels and boring them to create a mush.
That's still how grits are made. Um, grits were introduced
into Southern cooking. When the Native Okay, there's a way
that we talk about Native Americans that always think is weird. Yeah,
(29:21):
we always couldn't identify in front of it when the
Native I've always thought it was saying when Native Americans
the Native. What I'm saying. I think that's because if
you say Native Americans, this is this is like this
is just like I think, a semantics thing. But once
people from England started being born here, they were also
(29:44):
native to America. That's why when you're distinguishing udia, say
the Native Americans, so that we can distinguish people because
we're natives, like we were born here, you know, as
America is using the term indigenous. I think so. Yeah,
I think so because because technically anybody born somewhere is
(30:06):
native to that place. So just so there was no confusion.
We weren't like, you know, the Native Americans, as in
anyone who was born here. It's like, no, the natives, right,
the original people of this land got it, just wondering,
just trying to learn um. Any of the Native Americans
(30:27):
served grits to Sir Walter Rawley's men and the subsequent
Jamestown colonists. So grits came from the dative Americans, and
then I guess white people started eating them, and then
black people went hey, hey, hey, hey, we got it.
I think in yeah, I think in slavery. That was
exactly the way you described it is what happened, like
(30:50):
past the initial Native Americans making a version of it,
and then we made a version of it because corn
wasn't it was indigenous to the New World, so we
didn't know about corn. Yeah, it was a new plant.
There was munching on. It's like, hey, hey, what y'all,
what y'all munching on? What's what's this? We We got
(31:11):
wheats and oats and some ship called amaranths spelt. What's that?
What y'all crunching on crunching? H You know, I think
I think I'm confident, but you can't be because I
can't be. No, I can't be. I'm talking about no
about oatmeal. Yes, about oatmeal. I'm very confident about oatmeal. Yes,
(31:37):
But what because because well, with other things, it's more
be six, it's coming through with iron things. You needing
your diet. I can eat grits and eat a vitamin
to be fucking fine. What I'm saying is you don't
have to put a vitamin and your grits to have
a vitamin. Just remember that. Don't be like, oh I'm
(32:00):
man about gritce. You have your old meal, make sure
you drop a couple of b sas vitamins, get a
multi vitam. But really trying to go life together. What
I'm saying is grits are more versatile. You compare them
with meats, you compare them with veggies. You know you
ever had like because my homeboy was making breakfast. You know, Papa,
he was making breakfast one day, because Papa makes breakfast,
(32:22):
it's great. We love Papa. And he made grits and
he will make like white gravy from scratch, which I'd
never seen any like even my mom may never make
right gravest scratch. I never seen that in my life. Yeah,
and so he made up some like Brussels sprouts or
whatever because he's like, well, we gotta have a little
veggie with breakfast. I'm like, I think we're eating brunch now. Um,
(32:42):
but grits. Put a little like grits with eggs and
some sausage with some like Brussels sprouts. That's a good
brunchy meal, right, he got my vitamins. Okay, couple, I'm
at Rilet's. But I think that you could have or
you could took that same meal to take off the
bacon and the eggs and you could put down some
(33:03):
shrimpis or you could put down you know, macro freighters
or salmon or anything you know rich you can flip in.
Like you said, oatmeal don't get served on the side. Yeah,
oatmeal and getting added to nothing. I'm not out here
trying to try savior oldmeal. If you really want to
know what's happening, are you will are? Do you want
(33:26):
to try savory oatmeal? Do you want to see if
you can put cheese and bacon and eggs. Look oatmeal.
Do you think your ancestors would contell you to bless
you and smile? They down on their faces. How about this,
(33:47):
I will try savory oatmeal before I would try sweet grits.
That's legitimate. You're a good man. That makes sense. Yeah, yeah,
I haven't that. You know. You talk about versatility and
I I'm not seeing it. I'm not seeing it. I'm saying,
So you don't want to put because to make anything,
(34:08):
because to make oatmeal sweet, you have to put sugar
in it. No, I know, but I'm saying, I'm saying,
when we talk about nutrition alone, okay, nutrition, fine, m
there might not be as much of anything. Yeah, of
the things, there are some stuffs and grits. There's some stuff. Yeah,
(34:28):
you're right, that's the right word to use for it.
There's some stuff. There's some general junk you can digest eventually.
What in the hell. Yeah. Yeah, and once you've once
you've added butter and you've boiled some milk. I'm with you. Yeah,
you have to add butter to fucking oatmeal too, No,
(34:48):
not really butter, yes, no, no, no, no no, no, okay,
So grit it's got protein, it's got carbohydrates. Faber, there's
no sugar and grits. I'm with you, but I'm saying,
how much of those things does it have? There is
(35:10):
iron and grits, you're jerk. There's the iron you need
a day. Magnesium. Yeah, you might as well bite a
piece of metal to get bored. You're good from grits.
M hmm. Just you're just saying things that have trace
amounts in there. Who's trace trace tracy amounts in there?
(35:40):
I said it in the in the beginning episode. I
say again, brothers out there, men, my men, okay, I
love you. Always dine out the man you wash strong bones. No, no,
I'll talk. I'll talk to the women too. I'm just saying,
you know, it's these men out here that need guidance.
That's okay. So I'm saying, and my man, listen, open
(36:03):
your ears harder. I know you think you're listening. Open
them wide, okay, get them so, open the air pod,
slip out a little bit. Okay, open your ears and
listen to me. Get that oatmeal in, okay. Get your calcium, okay,
get your iron in. You wan't be iron. You want
to be a hard body. You want to be an
(36:24):
iron man? Yeah, you iron in your body? What that fiber?
That fiber? Be honest, man. However, you can go into
the bathroom. You're going that they need to drink You're going, yeah,
drink your water, all right, that's why we're dying out here.
(36:45):
No fiber, Okay, stay fibrous, stay healthy, stay manly. Okay,
and uh, you know my thoughts are with you. What Yeah, yeah,
you don't be thinking about you all right. One h
(37:07):
A lot of us aren't eating breakfast. Yeah, a lot
of us are skipping breakfast. That's fair, and we need
to be eating breakfast. There's one thing my nutrition has
said me is like you have to if you wouldn't
do anything if your body wants to be right, if
you want to you know, if you're trying to just
improve your health overall. Right. Yeah, but also so you
(37:29):
get very tired during the day, Like I would be
waking up at nine, I wouldn't eat till one pm.
I knew, Drisch Just like, what's all are you doing? Yeah,
your body isn't starvation mode all the time, right, So
we gotta start eating breakfast more. You gotta start drinking more. Water.
I'm sorry, but we do, we do, we do? I
the doctor tell me is like a lot of the
stuff that people will have issues with if they would
(37:51):
just drink more water, they can just flush stuff out
of their body because you just sit in your liver,
or just sit in your kidneys, or just sit in
your calling water. So we gotta start eating breakfast. We
gotta start remember the flush. Yes, remember the flush. Uh
you know, be your own handle to your own plumbing.
Um hm. Also we have to remember that grits came
(38:19):
from and oppressed people. What are you doing? What are
you doing right now? Grits came for people myna own business.
And then the hot man showed him and what did
(38:43):
he bring with him? Were you? What did he bring? Josh?
Were you? I don't think no, no, don't don't don't
put that on me that it's not There's no way
brought oatmeal. That's what happened. I think. I think oats
(39:07):
grew here. Don't do that that they were here. Corn
wasn't over there? How was oats over here? Because a
place can have its own things, the place can have
its own foods. Is oatmeal indigenous? How is oatmeal gonna
be the it's just oats. It's just did oats grow
(39:27):
here already? Corn didn't grow in Tomatoes didn't grow in Europe.
Pumpkin didn't grow in Europe. They listen, If it wasn't
for Marco Polo and we isn't corn. That's what I'm saying.
Think about it. If it wasn't for Marco Polo in Columbus,
(39:49):
there would be no there would be no pasta. You
know what I'm saying. There would be no there'd be
no pasta. So the whole rest of the world didn't
have corn, and is the white folks hopped on a
boat and came up and brought their happy asses over here.
So some plants so grew everywhere. I don't think eggplant
(40:10):
lived grew in Europe. So I don't know what these
I don't know what they was eating before fucking somebody
sell the ocean blue. All I'm saying is that the
white man brought oap Man. And what I'm not gonna
do is promote the white man, thrains. I'm not doing it.
(40:38):
I'm not doing it. Okay, we've been to two much, Joshua.
I think I think you're taking some real liberties here.
And justice for all. Okay, thank y'all so much for
live No, don't do that. Don't do that because because
because because we also have to do a show out out.
(41:00):
Another another quick shout out to our our friend who
wrote in and gave us this suggestion. Dull say, what
was what was the hand on that one? This is
key underscore Carter, because I'm just here to help Josh.
I'm here to have yeah, yeah, man, I'm very helpful.
We're gonna kick it to you the listener. All right,
I want to hear from you. Do you like oatmeal?
(41:23):
Do you put up with grits? Do you enjoy having
grains at all? And I would ask you, do you,
as a listener eat the white Man's porch? Or do
you enjoy the versatility that is the crypt I'm just
(41:50):
trying to help people be blessed, you know what I mean.
I just want folks to know all of the facts
and for my sione. Okay, you if you're looking to
catch up with us in any other form, you can
find us on social you know, I'm at josh Shots
Comedy on TikTok and Instagram, also on YouTube, and then
(42:12):
you can also check out my other podcast to Josh
Johnson Show. We also record and post every Thursday where
you listen to podcasts, and if you were looking for
Dulce Sloan, you can catch me in the mall with
your daddy. Or it's so fun to say what it
(42:42):
made the science say, somebody to call Rihanna. I'm my
Boston draws with him. Yes, I'm in here. I'm out
here in the mall with you mother fucking daddy. Or
you can catch me on the nwel can catch on
Al Gore's Internet. You know, um, Dick Cheney's arch nemesis. Uh,
I got a show coming up. We're on the road,
Josh on the road. We're not on the road together. Listen.
(43:04):
If y'all want us to do this goofy shit life,
tell us and we would love to come to your city,
hang out with your pap Paul, and just see if
you can take me to a rainbow in your local.
Now I didn't say, Tory, your dad can take me
(43:30):
to a rainbow? Really okay with it? Don't tell your mom?
Be cool? Um, let us know, let us know if
you're gonna be coming to a show, if you want
to get tickets or anything like that. At the Daily
Show dot Com backslash Josh Johnson at the Dailyshow dot
Com backslash dul Say Sloan. That's one of the best
ways to get ahold of everything that is us, and
(43:51):
those links will be in the episode. Thank y'all so
much for real, we'd love you. Yeah, Hey, everybody, it's Josh.
I am going to be on the road as part
of the Freshman Tour. I'm going to be in all
of these cities coming up, and I would love to
see you there. You can get your tickets in the
(44:12):
link that we provide in the show notes, but March
thirty first through April first, I'm gonna be in Fort Collins, Colorado,
April ninth, I'll be in Atlanta April tenth, Nashville April twelfth, Mobile,
Alabama April thirteenth, New Orleans April fourteenth, Baton Rouge, and
April twent through the twenty second, I'm gonna be in
San Diego, California, so i'd love to see you there. Hello, friends,
(44:35):
I've got some dates coming up where you can see
me your girl telling the comedy jokes. I'm gonna be
at the Blue Room Comedy cub in Springfield, Missouri, April
sixth through the eighth. I'm going to be at the
moon Tower Comedy Festival in Austin, Texas, April nineteenth through
the twenty second. And I'm going to be at Last
Boston and Boston, Massachusetts, May eleventh through May thirteenth. It'll
(45:02):
be available on my website Emma Leak three and just
at the club probably so come see me. I love
you bye.
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