“I’m Not Worthy”: Getting Over Imposter Syndrome

Even the most accomplished people can be haunted by the feeling that their success is just a matter of luck—and that soon everyone will learn their secret: That they’re really not smart, capable or talented. Dr. Saltz advises a young medical student who fears being unmasked as an imposter.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:05):
These are challenging times, but you don't have to navigate
them alone. Welcome to How Can I Help? I'm Dr
Gail Saltz. I'm a clinical Associate Professor of psychiatry at
the New York Presbyterian Hospital, a psychoanalyst, and best selling author,
and I'm here every week to answer your most pressing questions,

(00:26):
hopefully with understanding, insight and advice. Do you find yourself
feeling that any successes or accomplishments you've achieved are some
crazy stroke of luck, or if people could see the
real you, they would be disappointed. You might be suffering

(00:46):
from imposter syndrome. Today, I'm answering a question from a
young woman who seems to be having this struggle. In
the nineties seventies, when this syndrome was first acknowledged, it
is thought to be something only women struggled with. It
is now known that it affects men and women equally.

(01:08):
It affects as many as sev of all people, particularly
those who are relatively high achieving, and it definitely affects
minority groups more. Impostor feelings represent a conflict between your
own self perception and the way others perceive you. Even

(01:28):
as others acknowledge your abilities, you may find yourself saying
to yourself, this success is just timing and good luck.
You don't necessarily believed you earned the merits on your own,
and you might fear that others will eventually realize the
same thing. As a result, you would likely pressure yourself

(01:51):
to work harder in order to keep other people from
recognizing these shortcomings or failures that you perceive to become
worthy of roles that you have or that you want
but think quietly that you don't deserve, and to make
up for what you consider perhaps your lack of intelligence

(02:12):
or other talent, and to ease feelings of guilt that
you probably have over the erroneous belief that you are
somehow fooling other people. The work you put in can
keep the cycle going. Your further accomplishments, unfortunately, often don't

(02:33):
reassure you, because you consider them nothing more than the
product of the effort to maintain this illusion of your success,
and any recognition that you earn you tend to think
is keeping up this false image, or maybe that somebody
is taking pity on you, and therefore keep linking your
accomplishments to chance you might take on all the blame

(02:57):
for any mistakes you make and make them even bigger
in your mind. Even minor mistakes might reinforce your belief
in your lack of ability or intelligence, and sadly, over time,
this can become a real cycle of anxiety, depression, and guilt.

(03:19):
If you're living in constant fear of discovery and you
strive for perfection and everything you do, then you might
also feel guilty or worthless when you can't achieve it,
and you might experience burnout and just being generally overwhelmed.
This time of year, the start to school years and

(03:39):
the start to next steps at work, is a common
time for impostor syndrome to really rear its head. The
start to grad school or a new executive position are
notorious for the rise of feelings of imposter syndrome. You're
feeling what am I doing here? I don't think I

(04:00):
really deserve to be here and someone is going to
figure that out. Fears a failure can prompt increase emotional distress,
and many people coping with impostor feelings also experience anxiety
and depression. But living with a depression or anxiety might
mean you already experience self doubt, low self confidence, and

(04:25):
worries about how others will perceive you, and this feeling
of less then can lead to and even reinforce the
belief that you don't really belong in your academic or
professional environment, and overall, imposter syndrome can worse in mental
health symptoms, which, as you can understand, creates a cycle

(04:47):
that's difficult to break. It's not uncommon to feel unworthy
of a career or academic opportunity that you just earned.
You've aspired to this job position, but worry you won't
measure up to the expectations, or you don't believe that
your abilities will match those of your coworkers or classmates.

(05:09):
These feelings might settle down and fade over time as
you get familiar with the role. Sometimes, though, they do
get worse, particularly if you fail to receive support and
positive validation and even encouragement from supervisors or peers, which
then robs you of the pleasure of what you're achieving

(05:31):
and in the long run, can undermine your ability to perform.
So with that, let's get to my listeners question and ask,
how can I help dear doctor thoughts I just started
medical school and it has been my dream for years,
and I've worked so hard to get here. Nonetheless, I

(05:55):
find myself walking around thinking everyone in my class is smarter,
more able, and that sooner or later it's going to
become a parent. I don't belong here. I really want
to be a doctor. I obviously did well enough in
my undergraduate work and my MCATs and my internship experiences
to have earned a spot here, But I can't shake

(06:17):
this feeling that this was just some stroke of luck.
That when my classmates speak, they sound smarter than me,
more accomplished, and I pick up heart everything I say afterwards,
and I find it lacking. I feel so pressured to
be more eloquent, to do more stuff for others, to

(06:37):
take on more roles, to prove I should be here,
and I'm feeling constantly anxious and not good enough. This
is not how I thought my medical school journey would start,
and I don't know what to do about it. Can
you help me with this? You are definitely describing feelings

(06:58):
of imposter syndrome. It sounds like you may not have
shared these feelings with anyone, and are therefore under the
misimpression that you are alone in these feelings, giving greater
credence therefore to your thoughts than they deserve. It is
likely the close to half of your class has very
similar thoughts and feelings right now, and none of you

(07:21):
are really sharing it with each other as you all
try to hide your insecurities and avoid being what you
fear is found out. Unfortunately, this keeps you locked in
your current cycle of feeling unworthy. The first year of
medical school, the first year of really any new move

(07:42):
up the academic or executive ladder, is a classic time
for such feelings to rear their head. There are several
ways to decrease your struggle. People with imposter syndrome often
struggle with perfectionism, and this makes academic life impossible. You
want to do a good job, of course, but good

(08:05):
is not perfect. Look at your schedule, look at how
long you spend doing tasks, and make some limits. Stop
at the limit of time, rather than relying on repeatedly
continuing until you've reached some infinite and unattainable line of
perfect It's really important to personally question where your perfectionism

(08:29):
is coming from, who pushed you to be perfect, how
those thoughts pervade your mind and work to amend your
thoughts to be shooting for things like good well done,
and improvement for me, but not perfect. No one is perfect,
and honestly, Rare is the genius. Yet people with imposter

(08:54):
syndrome often wish they were or feel like they should
be a genius. Except up smart enough and focus on
understanding where you are really excelling, but also areas where
you can keep growing and improving without self flagellating about them.
Understand everyone has strong areas and everyone has weak areas. Next,

(09:20):
consider sharing your feelings with someone or many find a mentor.
A mentor is really helpful, someone above your level who
can give guidance but also give good feedback about how
you're really doing, someone who can counter this inner dialogue

(09:40):
of not good enough. A mentor can make a huge
difference in self perception. Another avenue of self disclosure can
be peers. You will be surprised to find how many
people in your class have the same doubts and self
deprecating thoughts as you do. Knowing you are not alone

(10:03):
and the people that you're admiring so much have the
same types of self doubt you have, and go a
long way to putting your own thoughts in check. If
after doing these things, your feelings persist, or your anxiety
and guilt become undermining in your functioning day to day,
you should seek out the help of a therapist. A

(10:25):
therapist can help you understand the origins of your thoughts,
ways that you are keeping them locked in, and how
to make changes such that you can change the thought
patterns and get relief. I hope that was helpful. Back
in a moment with more thoughts on imposter syndrome. Welcome

(10:57):
back back with a few more though on impostor syndrome.
There's no single clear cause of impostor feelings, but a
number of factors likely combined to trigger them. Underlying causes
often start in childhood. In your upbringing with parents who
either pressured you to do very well in school, compared

(11:21):
you to your siblings, were controlling or super overprotective, emphasized
your natural intelligence above all, or sharply criticized your mistakes.
Academic success in childhood could also contribute to impostor feelings
later in life. You're used to being great at everything,
You value yourself exclusively for that, and as soon as

(11:43):
struggle sets in, you feel overwhelmed. Maybe elementary and high
school never posed much of a challenge. You learned easily
and received lots of praise from teachers and parents. You
may have internalized the idea that that's all the counts.
In college, however, you find yourself struggling for the first time.

(12:05):
You might begin to believe your classmates are all smarter
and more gifted, and you might worry you don't belong
in college at all. And there are certain personality traits
that lend themselves toward developing impostor syndrome, like perfectionistic tendencies,
low confidence in your ability to manage your behavior and

(12:25):
successfully handle your responsibility. People tend to have higher measures
on scores of what's called neuroticism and also lower scores
on what's called conscientiousness. Fears of failure can prompt lots
of emotional distress, and many people coping with impostor feelings

(12:46):
also experience anxiety and depression. But living with anxiety and
depression might mean you are already experiencing self doubt and
low self confidence and worries about how other people perceive you,
and this creates feelings of less than that can lead
to and reinforce the belief that you don't really belong

(13:09):
in your academic or professional environment, and as I mentioned,
imposter syndrome can worsen mental health symptoms, creating this cycle
that's difficult to step out of. It's not uncommon to
feel unworthy of a career or an academic opportunity that
you just earned. Yes, you want the job, it might

(13:30):
even be your dream job. All the same, you might
worry you won't measure up to expectations or believe that
your abilities won't match those of your coworkers or your classmates.
These feelings may fade as you settle in and get
familiar with the role, Sometimes so they can get worse,

(13:51):
particularly if you fail to get support, validation, and encouragement
from your supervisors or peers. Some groups are more likely
to suffer with imposter syndrome due to gender bias and
institutionalized racism, which plays a huge role in these feelings.
Research finds that anyone can experience these feelings, but they

(14:14):
do tend to show up more in women people of color,
in other words, people who generally have less representation in
professional environments. Awareness of the bias against your gender or
race might lead you to work harder in order to
disprove these harmful stereotypes you're perceiving. You might believe you

(14:36):
need to dedicate more effort than anyone else in order
to be taken seriously and earn recognition for your efforts.
But simply knowing about these negative stereotypes can affect your performance,
leading you to fixate on your mistakes and doubt your abilities.

(14:57):
Microaggressions and discrimination, both obvious and subtle, that you experience
along the way, can reinforce the feeling that you don't belong,
which sadly is exactly what they're intended to do. Even
the name impostor syndrome can reinforce the perception of yourself
is unworthy, the word impostor having a strong meaning of deceit, manipulation,

(15:22):
while syndrome generally applies illness. But understanding what is driving
these feelings, both from within and from the environment, can
help you get a better handle on them. One important
part is actually to stop comparing yourself to other people. Instead,
focus on what you are doing, ways you are improving,

(15:46):
things you are doing well, and notice how far you've come.
Seeking mentorship from someone in a high up position can
help you, as can talking with similar peers who are
likely to find them else feelings. Similarly, pure support can
definitely dampen down these feelings as well, So stop focusing

(16:10):
on being perfect and work towards being really good. But
if you continue to struggle, then do consider seeing a
therapist who can help you overcome feelings of unworthiness or
the feeling of being a fraud. Address anxiety, depression, or
other distress that either predated or is as a result

(16:31):
of the syndrome, and challenge the unwanted beliefs you're having
so that you can reframe them and be much more comfortable.
Do you have a problem I can help with? If so,
email me yet how can I help? At Seneca women
dot com, all centers remain anonymous and listen every Friday too.

(16:53):
How can I help with me? Dr Gail's Salts