November 27, 2024 • 46 mins
Jennie is joined by Future Islands frontman, Samuel T. Herring, for an honest conversation about the benefits of therapy and the childhood experiences that led to his emotional intelligence.
Plus, Jennie finds out how this musician became an actor overnight!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Garth. Hey everyone,
welcome to the I Choose Me Podcast. This podcast is
all about the choices we make and where they lead us.
My guest today is a musician, a rapper, and the
lead singer of the band Future Islands that I am
(00:24):
a big fan of and you might also know him
from the Apple TV Plus show The Changeling, where he
made his acting debut last year. Please welcome Samuel t
Herring to the I Choose Me Podcast. We're gonna jump in,
but I just want to say thank you, thank you
for coming on, and thank you so much that you
said yes.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
I think your team is the first person to find
my secret email who.
Speaker 3 (00:49):
I was like, it does work, that's so cool.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
Well, they're good, so that makes sense.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
Yeah, I was like, I got a request, but it
was excited. We were really excited to hear that you
came to the show. That's just so cool.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
I'm going to give my husband credit because we both
love music, but he has introduced me to some of
the best bands around, and yours is right at the
top of that list. We just got you guys in
La at the Shrine and Dave had had seeing Future
Islands on our calendar since like May, right, and the
(01:21):
thing was, I've been traveling a lot for work. I
got home, I was home for one day. I had
a photo shoot all day long, and I thought, there's
no way I'm going to be up to going to
the show. And I didn't want to disappoint him because,
like I said, he was really looking forward to it.
But we finished earlier that day and I literally like
made myself get excited to go to the show because
(01:41):
I was really excited, but I was also so so tired,
no offense. So we went and something really good happened
to me that night. Your music just reminded me to dance,
you know, and I it just genuinely made me so happy.
That carried on for days, that feeling of happiness that
(02:03):
I got from seeing you play live. You guys are
just incredible live.
Speaker 3 (02:08):
Well that's uh, yeah, that's awesome. I'm glad that.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
You know, the whole the whole point of the show
is to kind of crack people a bit, you know,
break open something that's not there. And I mean that's
you know, the my movement is to make other people move.
Of course, you know that it's a safe space. If
I can do it, you can do it. That kind
of thing, you know, it's a hook. But yeah, that's
(02:33):
just it's a high compliment and it's the goal.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
We were like up in the back and everybody wanted
to sit down and I was not having that and
you were like, everybody, get up. And I'm so glad
that you said that, because these old study dudies behind
me wanted to like sit and watch you before. No, no,
thank you.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
And you know that that happens sometimes, especially when you
move into theaters and stuff. But man, when I go
to a show, I want to sit down. I'm always
looking for the green room.
Speaker 3 (02:59):
When I go to a sho I don't get to
go back there.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
Through the Roses that has been one of our songs,
you know, for me, just like through All the Ship. Yep.
It's an upbeat mode to how hards like relationships can be.
But for me, it just reminds me that we're stronger
together somehow. And Little Dreamer is the song that I
(03:24):
am absolutely obsessed with right now. What does it mean?
I mean, I can interpret it and maybe maybe you're
talking about your cat. I don't know, but here's what
I hear when I when I listen to it, I
hear you talking to yourself about to your little dreamer inside,
and that something so comforting to me about it, like
there's so much heartache, but it's hopeful somehow. And then
(03:48):
there's the fucking birds. There's birds in that song, Like
where did the birds come from?
Speaker 3 (03:53):
That's actually a good question.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
At some point or another I knew it was probably
I'm going to say it was probably William of Field
recording that he made, and I feel like it was
from Windell. His hometown is a tiny little town outside
of Rally in North Carolina. I can't I'm not actually
sure though. You know, in our not our most recent record,
with the one before that, we also the record opens
(04:17):
the song Glatta, which is it's the Swedish word for happy,
but it's also a bird. It's the kite, you know,
with the big v tails, these beautiful birds that swoop
over and it's like they're through England and southern Sweden.
Speaker 3 (04:30):
And the red kite.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
But that that also opens with these sounds of geese,
and I don't know, it's something calming when you when
you have we used to do we used to play
a lot more with field recordings.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
It just reminds you of a place it puts.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
It creates a setting, you know, and sometimes I think
about you know, of course.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
You saw the show, so there's a theater. There's a
theatrical element to it. There's a theater to it.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
But you know, and when I usually when I write
a song, the first line is always the hardest, and
it's about you know that those first lines are about
like creating the setting, just like you would a play
or something.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
So I think when you have the ability to cheat
and put birds.
Speaker 2 (05:10):
Sound in the sound of the sounds of uh, you
know when through reads. There's an album we have on
the Water which is has the clanking of like the
sails you know, on ships at night. Yeah, And I mean,
I don't know what the average person hears when they
hear that, but when I hear it, it takes me
right back to that place.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
So yeah, there's something that like forces my brain when
I hear that to like stay really focused on what
I'm listening to. I don't know what.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
It is, but dream is, especially that little tweet something
about it.
Speaker 3 (05:45):
It's like we caught a really perfect moment from from
a bird.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
Uh, huh, what is that?
Speaker 3 (05:50):
Was?
Speaker 1 (05:50):
I even close with my interpretation, it's.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
Not about my cat.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
Okay good, but no, I mean that well that song,
you know, that song in a lot of ways to
me feels like it is the It says a lot
about the life of this band. You know, Future Allens
was is eighteen and a half years old now, and
we had a band before that. You know, we had
me Wayim and Garrett the William the bassis, Scarrett the keyboardist.
Speaker 3 (06:18):
Of course we have Mike the drummer. Don't want to
leave Mike out.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
But in the beginning, the three of us had a
band called art Lord with a couple other friends. Art
Lord and this Portraits and that was like our college band,
performance art piece and music was the was the medium.
And then you know when Future Islands began in six
So we did that for two and a half years,
didn't have a band for about six months, and then
started Future Islands in six I was going through so
(06:43):
much in my life at that time. I had I
was addicted to drugs. I had a problem with cocaine
for like two and a half years, so only like
four four and I know this show is about being
open and vulnerable, and you got the right guy.
Speaker 3 (06:55):
Because I tell it all.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
But it the the band kind of began when I
was kind of losing my mind.
Speaker 3 (07:04):
I was at my bottom.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
But it took another four months and then I was
able to leave town and get clean and through you know,
through my parents' help. But then I left and I
was living out of my van doing odd job construction
around North Carolina, for North Carolina originally for a few months,
and I started talking to this girl down in Florida,
(07:26):
and eventually I just went down there. I was spending
time with her, and then I was like, come back
with me to North Carolina and we but I didn't
have a place to go.
Speaker 3 (07:34):
I didn't have a house.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
I just slept on friends couches around North Carolina. So
she did that with me for a few months, and
then we settled in a place in Asheville.
Speaker 3 (07:43):
North Carolina.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
And so that song is about that room that we
stayed in. You know, it was like eight roommates, one bathroom,
an old punk house.
Speaker 3 (07:54):
It was like basically a squat house.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
Like we split, like we split one hundred and sixty
bucks a month rent. She worked at a little clothing
shop and I worked at Domino's Pizza delivering pizzas, and
we just like made it work, you know, And so
that song, you know, she was really at that whole time,
I was really trying to I'd lost myself, you know,
within my drug problems. I didn't fracture my relationships with
(08:20):
my friends and my bandmates, but I just wasn't there.
Speaker 3 (08:23):
I was gone.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
And then so that song has traveled for seventeen years
through my life, through her being there and then her
being gone, you know, at the very beginning of us splitting,
and then like the years of noncommunication and then like
recommunicating and then being like, I don't want to sing
this song anymore, like if it hurts her.
Speaker 3 (08:43):
Or if it hurts me, to really accepting.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
In the last few years, it's been about like that
meaning has changed, but it's been about it like accepting
your past and accepting love that isn't there anymore, because
it was still love, you know, And that's really what
it means to me now, Like I can't stop myself
from the good memories, even if I'm in a new place,
(09:06):
if I'm in another good relationship. There was still a time,
you know, and all the bad stuff that followed doesn't
take away that time and that sense of peace and
calm that I felt in that moment, and how important
that was to really the beginning of my next life,
you know, because that the two thousand and the beginning
of Future Islands was also the end of my old life.
And and in writing that song in that first you
(09:28):
know that was the first of Future Islands album was
really kind of me discovering myself again. There's another song
on that album, Wave Like Home, called Old Friend, which
is literally about me looking in the mirror and like
like recognizing myself again after so many years of being yeah,
being lost of myself.
Speaker 3 (09:46):
So the old the old Friend is me, you know.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
Not not another person. I'm I'm I'm finding myself again.
So really, yeah, that it's that song is very It
has so much meaning, but it's so crazy that you
can encapsulate that in those moments and then the original
person or the original thought, the original feeling you're so
(10:09):
far away from that, it can still take you there.
It can transport you there, and then it can be
something that people get their own feeling from because you
want you want that too. I want people to whatever
good you can get out of our music or our
songs like and put it on your own life, Like
that's so positive.
Speaker 3 (10:27):
It's art. You know, it's supposed to move with people
and move through people.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
You said in your band Future Islands started just you
and your buddies in two thousand and six. But I
want to just rewind a little bit, and I want
to sort of set the stage for our listeners. You're
from North Carolina, as you mentioned. Tell me a little
bit about your childhood. Do you remember the first time
that you sang? And I wanted to know who was
(11:00):
encouraging you to follow your dreams? Who was it that
was standing behind you?
Speaker 2 (11:04):
You know, I grew up in a really I grew
up in a small town eastern North Carolina. I was
just like a two minute walk to the shore, the sound,
you know, the water trap between us and the Barrier
Island that was out of the ocean.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
I had my grandma right around the corner.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
It was It's a pretty a pretty simple, I would say,
a pretty simple, normal childhood. But that didn't really stop
me from feeling weird and out of place. But you know,
my mom loved to sing, so she played piano. We
would stand around her while she played the piano with
sheet music and sing songs together me, my brother and her.
Speaker 3 (11:37):
I have an older brother. It's just the two of us.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
And so my brother really was he was more of
the the big He was more of a ham, I
would say, than me even and he's still like such
an amazing singer, such an amazing performer and really kind
of my first, yeah, my first like idea of what
a person was because like I saw his band play
(12:02):
when I was like twelve, you know, and I did.
Speaker 3 (12:06):
I would sing at a young age seven eight nine.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
Like in school for what do you call them, like
assemblies and then some drama stuff. But and I always
you know, it was like I had a really good
voice back then. I had this little angelic like kid's voice,
you know, some children just having yeah, no no cigarettes
(12:30):
back but I was like I could sing, but that
wasn't really something I was trying to do. And then
it was music hit me with hip hop, and so
when I was thirteen, I fell in love with rap music.
And then I was like I want to know all
about this, I want to know all about the history
(12:52):
of this. So I just started studying like and my
brother helped me, like gather stuff off the internet. You know,
we would print up like this is like the Internet
in nineteen ninety six and seven.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
You know, yeah, they were silent, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
Very slow.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
There's not you know, there's like it's just text. You know,
every website is just text. And he would print up
these books of like how to break dance and how
to like graph right and the proper like spray tips
you need to do graffiti, and and you know, learning
about just the music and the history of like how
(13:29):
it came to be.
Speaker 3 (13:30):
I was just fascinated.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
And a lot of it was that it was so
foreign to me, and it also I liked that it
was like I had secret knowledge, you know, and I
was like, I want to write. And at the same time,
I was discovering poetry Carl Sandberg and Theodore RecA at
like twelve and thirteen, and I went through like my
first like my first crush. And then that also that
(13:55):
just made you know, the poetry run, that made the
wraps run. I wanted to be a rapper, and that's
what when I went to college, That's what was my goal.
And then I met William and then we started a
ban and that's kind of like that's like history.
Speaker 3 (14:10):
You know, that's just the way it goes.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
Just happened.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
But yeah, but I was, Yeah, there was always a
safe space. Like my parents were very much. They both
grew up in really hard working families and worked really
hard and we're like the first to go to college
and their families and because of that, they raised their
sons to be artists, which they regretted later. And I
also regret sometimes too, because like my work ethic is
(14:35):
bad outside of my art.
Speaker 3 (14:38):
You know, I feel I work really hard at what
I do.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
Yeah, you seem like a really hard worker to me.
Speaker 2 (14:44):
Well, and that's it's me being hard on myself. I mean,
I don't know how many partners I've had to have
told me that, like, you know, you're allowed to rest.
I'm learning now. I'm learning now, But it is you know,
I gained that workaholic nature from my parents, and I
would say even more so my father, And I was
angry at him as a kid that he worked so hard.
(15:05):
And now I find myself as the same in a
similar position where I can't be happy unless I'm created
something and I'm a little away from that. Like I
think I've grown a lot in the last couple of
years because that's something that was said told to me
and then I recognized it, and then I was like,
(15:27):
I need to correct this, and I need to give
myself some grace to really relax at times, you know,
because I get off a.
Speaker 3 (15:35):
Tour and I'm beat.
Speaker 2 (15:37):
But my first thing is like I got off this
tour and I just sat down and I started writing
a song and it made me happy. You know, it
made me happy because I can move from that the crowd,
whether you know, the stage work and the work of
being on the road is very different than the creative
process of creating a song. That's when you get to
(15:57):
like pull something new and find who you are in
that moment as opposed to working through old emotions or
doing a performance.
Speaker 3 (16:06):
You know, because there are.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
Moments on stage, like what you saw is there are
moments of transcendence where I'm discovering new things and I'm
connected with the audience. And then there are times where
I'm like, well, I'm going to do this high kick
because it's going to look cool and it's for the audience,
you know, and that's not that's the that's the once
again hook people.
Speaker 3 (16:27):
So that then you can go back into those spaces.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
But there's the performance aspect, which is work, and then
there's the and then if you're lucky, you are able
to go into the body and find something new.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
You mentioned I think it was at your concert actually,
that when you finish an album, it's this huge expression
and a release of emotions around the things that you
are going through working through in your real life at
that time. And then once the album finally comes out,
you know, when you start touring with that music, it
might be kind you might be kind of past those
(17:02):
emotions or that, you know, onto that next hurdle in
your life, but you're having to relive it all over
again night after night playing it. What's that like? I mean,
does that do you feel like that holds you back?
Or does it sort of propel you forward?
Speaker 3 (17:17):
Uh? I mean it probably does a bit of I
want to say that.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
I want to say that performing the song helps to
create some closures within the self. It doesn't create closure
with a person, but it creates closure and acceptance with
the self. It also a thing I found is it
makes you you know, when you say something you don't
want to say, especially if it's damning to yourself and
(17:46):
you put it on record, you are saying, I'm living
with this and I want everybody to know that I'm
you know, I can't. I can't go and tell people
that they need to be honest with their emotions in themselves.
Speaker 3 (17:58):
And then me hide myself, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
And so so I push into those moments so that
when I get on stage and I sing it out
to people, then I see how it bounces back and
then and then I become accountable not just to myself
but to all of these people, and then it just uh.
I found that it helps me to to accept things
(18:25):
and just find you know. It's also about creating a
space of you know, I see the stage as power.
Speaker 3 (18:32):
You know, the microphone is power, and you have you
can use it or lose it. I don't want that.
I shouldn't have rhymed that.
Speaker 2 (18:40):
And so I think it is like, if you can
be vulnerable from a point of from a place of power,
then you can you can change.
Speaker 3 (18:49):
You can create change.
Speaker 2 (18:51):
Because if I can get up there and be and
and cry for you and then smile it off and
be like I'm okay, we're okay together, then you you
can break into people's and what their expectation of what
people are.
Speaker 3 (19:07):
Supposed to be, what people are supposed to do.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
You know, I feel like you're talking about like it's
sort of like a reciprocal release and connection with your
audience that it's mutually beneficial for you and for the
people listening or watching.
Speaker 3 (19:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
Yeah, but I think I even answer your question. Sorry,
I'm real tangential.
Speaker 1 (19:28):
Yeah that's okay, Yeah, that's okay. But you know, I
was just because I think, like, you know, you wrote
that song a while ago and you're still playing it
live night after night, especially when you're touring. Yeah, you know,
because I know you have to have grown and changed
in the interim of you know, between writing it and
performing it, Like there's a lot that happens to a person,
(19:50):
and you know, there's so much like a different person
at that point, but you have to go back to
that those feelings and to that moment to get that
condra up, that true emotion to deliver that. You know.
Speaker 2 (20:02):
Yeah, and it can be hard to like, you know,
my my partner now, you know, I've been like is
it okay? You know, because because it's and I've talked
to you know, old partners about like, is it strange
to have to hear these kinds of songs that are
about past relationships. But you know, they also they come
(20:23):
you know, they understand like it's just your art, because
I am, like it's it's art in the end. At
first it's really heavy emotion, and then the story is
get encapsulated like it is it is something, And I
don't know if that's good or bad, but it is
like the singing of the songs and creating that acceptance,
it also puts callouses on them, you know, it puts
(20:45):
callouses on those emotions and those things, and it encapsulates
them in those moments.
Speaker 3 (20:50):
And maybe in some ways that's negative because.
Speaker 2 (20:52):
It it changes the It can change the memory, you
know if you if you just remember that this thing
in this way. And that's why I think why it's
important to be reflective and see how things move.
Speaker 1 (21:12):
I think you said in some interview that after one
of your breakups you started therapy. Yeah, how were you
when you started therapy?
Speaker 2 (21:21):
I would have been I was thirty seven. Yes, this
was the end of the end of twenty one. And
I mean to be fair, like I had been like
that that relationship had been really had been really positive.
In my life, and it, you know, it diminished through
the pandemic in that space because my partner was overseas,
(21:42):
my ex was overseas, and we just didn't we weren't
able to get to one another for a really long
time in it. And it never popped back like when
the pandemic lifted.
Speaker 3 (21:53):
It was the feelings.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
Were gone and she or her feelings were gone and
she let me go.
Speaker 3 (22:00):
And then you just have to deal with it.
Speaker 2 (22:01):
But because of that relationship and the positivity of it
and the love that I felt through it and knew
was real, it wasn't like does you know, was it
not real? It wasn't one of those It was like, no, no, no,
you guys had a real thing. And then sometimes stuff
just happens and there are things you can't control and
people and people change, and you know, feelings, our feelings
(22:27):
are fluid and you can't really you have to look
after yourselves and be good to yourself and move forward
as best you can. But it was in coming home,
I was like, I need to find a therapist immediately
before I break down, before I you know, relapse into
drugs or drinking too heavily.
Speaker 3 (22:44):
I drink, but you know, just going down a bad
path like like drugs, sex, just.
Speaker 2 (22:50):
Like binge, eating, you know, any of these things. And
I was able to find somebody. But even in that time,
I was very it was very home and I think
it's because that even though I was hurting from losing
the relationship, the relationship also it had a positive effect
on me.
Speaker 3 (23:10):
You know.
Speaker 2 (23:10):
I feel like the first relationship where I really had
a true mutual love in my life. So I was
able to grow in that, you know, and I was older,
of course, you know, was in my I was in
my thirties already, right, I.
Speaker 3 (23:26):
Wasn't just some young punk, no.
Speaker 1 (23:30):
But it takes that pain sometimes to get to that growth,
and there's no way of getting around it. You just
got to go through it. I mean, doing the work.
When you know, when we talk about going to therapy
and talk about the work that we have to do,
our personal inner work whatever, it's scary and keeps people
from seeking therapy, I think, and you know, I think
(23:51):
a lot of people are just as great afraid to
do the work. I mean, if you were to say
to someone listening right now who maybe hasn't tried therapy,
like what would you would you encourage another person to
do therapy.
Speaker 3 (24:05):
Oh definitely.
Speaker 2 (24:06):
I mean I think the world could use it, and
even if just to I think, even if just to
have I really think of it as a reflecting point.
And you know, different therapists are different, uh, and in
the ways that they they do what they do, and
you can find people that specialize. Sometimes you just have
a bad fit and that can be really off putting,
(24:27):
you know. I Luckily I'm with the person that I
started with and we have a really good rapport and
really like the biggest thing that he does for me
is just remind me of what I've said in the past.
Speaker 3 (24:38):
So I'll tell him, like, you know, I'll tell him
this is what's going on and this is how I feel.
Speaker 2 (24:43):
And he's like, well, you said something completely different through
three months ago, or you know, I think this is
what I need. And it's like, well, you said this,
are you are you feeling or have you changed your mind?
Speaker 3 (24:52):
Or you are you just feeling anxious? You know?
Speaker 2 (24:54):
Are you you know what's happening to make you feel
this way?
Speaker 1 (24:59):
So he's like holding up mirror for you.
Speaker 3 (25:01):
Yeah, So that for me, that's what therapy is is.
Speaker 2 (25:05):
It's been beneficial is really holding up a mirror to
me so that I can sit in my feelings again,
which is the thing that he's since the beginning. He's like,
you have to figure out how to sit in your
emotion instead of instead of reacting really irrationally or rashly
is the word I was trying to use, like, you know,
very quickly, hastily to just because I'm an emotional person
(25:29):
and so I just like act and that can lead
to Yeah, that can lead to fractures and relationships and
friendships if you don't take a breath, you know, like like,
don't write the email back today, write or write it
and put it in the draft. I've done that a
(25:51):
lot in the last few years, and that's been really
good practice. And then I'm like, I'm glad I didn't
say that, because.
Speaker 1 (25:59):
I am a kind of like you've been through it,
Like you've talked a lot about, you know, your life experiences,
not only through your music, but you know, in interviews
and stuff, and you've talked about your drug addiction and
about your challenges with mental health and how you've fought
you know, your way from being a teen with suicidal
(26:19):
ideations and you had you filled voids with substances and
like you said, eating all the things, sex, eating, doing
everything you could to stuff things down and not deal
with them. But I know you've been some really dark places.
But from what I gather through not just your music,
but from the research that I've done on you, like
(26:40):
a creeper, I feel like you're really very intelligent, like
an emotionally intelligent man, which is that's what the work
is about.
Speaker 2 (26:50):
Yes, and I thank you for saying that is something
that I It's one of those weird things where I
felt like that since I was a kid. So my
father is a he's a divorce attorney, and my mother
runs the office. So it's just the two of them,
and they're so interesting because you know, they to this day,
they still they wake up together, they go to work together,
(27:11):
they work together, they come home together, and they're still
just like pinching each other's asses, and they're just real cute.
Speaker 3 (27:17):
They're just cute, funny people.
Speaker 2 (27:19):
And so I come from this really loving relationship. But
also I was in this in this office for so
many years of my life. Up until probably was like
fourteen or thirteen or fourteen, I'd probably stopped going to
the office after school, and I would hear so much
emotion coming.
Speaker 3 (27:37):
Through those walls. I would hear people crying, I would
hear people yelling.
Speaker 2 (27:41):
I'd hear you know, I'd hear laughter, you know, and this,
and I couldn't make out what was being said. It
was just that who you know, like Charlie Brown, Charlie
Brown mom voice over the phone. But but I could
feel the emotion. And I don't know, Sorry, parents, But
I don't think it was good for me, you know,
(28:01):
I think.
Speaker 3 (28:01):
It was actually.
Speaker 2 (28:04):
I think it was maybe an over exposure for both
me and my brother.
Speaker 3 (28:09):
But I think it made me.
Speaker 2 (28:12):
Extremely empathetic from a young age and like like really
trying to to understand people or to just try to
I don't know, Just like I do give my dad credit.
My dad's the kind of guy who would just like
I would walk to him to the post office every
day to drop off mail and pick up mail, and
(28:33):
it's just a little like quarter mile walk, and every
day he would he was just like the one time
in the daytime I could hang out with my dad,
so I would like always go on the walk, but
it would end up just like him at the post
office talking to some person for thirty minutes and then
we would leave and every time I'd be like, who
is that? And he's like, I have no idea, And
I was like what is happening? Because I'm also like
(28:55):
I want to hang out with my dad, but he's
hanging out.
Speaker 3 (28:57):
With a stranger.
Speaker 2 (28:58):
But that thing also taught me about the way you
treat everybody in giving everyone this like respect and like
I said, you know, a small town vibe. And my
dad really taught me how to how to you know,
you talk to the judge the same way you talk
to the janitor type thing.
Speaker 3 (29:15):
And he literally has said that to me.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
You know, there there are lessons in that in that
office that I learned. It was also like learning to
like take care of myself and play with myself, make
my own games, you know, you know, playing in the woods,
you know so much.
Speaker 3 (29:30):
So much of those the songs.
Speaker 2 (29:33):
Of futur Rounds are really about those places around that office.
Speaker 1 (29:38):
There's something though about that time, whether you were with
your brother in the office or you were out exploring
the woods or whatever. That solitude and that like presence,
just being with yourself, but knowing that you're just this
big and there's so much around you. You know that
it really makes you think on a deeper level. I think,
(29:58):
and really I can I can hear that in your lyrics.
I can definitely feel that from the music that you
guys make. And that's irreplaceable, Like you can't learn that,
you can't. You know. That's that amazing exposure you had
as a young person.
Speaker 3 (30:14):
Yeah, I think so.
Speaker 2 (30:15):
I mean, it's interesting, you know so much of me
and Garrett's friendship. You know, I have to the words
don't have. The music is the bed that allows me
to dream, you know what I mean. And so the
guys are creating this music that isn't that is very emotional.
It's not like I'm just implanting an emotion. It's like
(30:37):
the things that some of the sounds that Garrett uses,
the way where I'm like bows or like gets into
these deep sounds like that remind me of the sea.
Speaker 3 (30:47):
You know.
Speaker 2 (30:48):
They take me to a place that allows me to reflect,
but takes me to a place to reflect. But me
and Garrett, you know, I know that we were really
I think a lot of the reason that we became
friends was because we both didn't feel that the world
made sense and we felt like kind of isolated and
(31:10):
then we kind of found each other. But we also
both have that the darkness of spirit which we are fighting.
And Garrett's done a better job in his life and
he's you know, he has a beautiful family and and it.
Speaker 3 (31:27):
Just makes me so so happy.
Speaker 2 (31:29):
But I we still talk about it, you know, and
understanding like where our friendship came from, and that those
things don't go away. You know, we deal, We learn
to deal and understand our emotions and those feelings. And
then when finding a friend or even communicating with a
stranger sometimes then we're we break out of isolation.
Speaker 3 (31:51):
To have that place.
Speaker 2 (31:52):
But for me, when Garrett in particular writes a sad
song or I shouldn't say a sad song, but a
song that is imbued with a deep emotion, I understand
it in a different way. You know, there's so much
to be said for the friendship of the three of
us and now the four of us that really that
is the spirit of the music.
Speaker 1 (32:20):
Can we talk about life on the road for a second. Yeah,
does it suck as bad as I imagine it to suck?
Because for me, like when I go away to work,
I can really easily lose my grasp with where I've
come from or the life that I've just left for
(32:40):
those weeks months, whatever it is. How do you stay
grounded when you're on the road and what do you
do to take care of yourself?
Speaker 2 (32:51):
I mean it's yeah, the road is not for everyone,
and it gets less a healing the.
Speaker 3 (33:00):
Older you get.
Speaker 2 (33:03):
The road was great when I was twenty six, you know,
and I was free and I didn't have to call
home or you know, call someone at home, and I
didn't have to miss somebody.
Speaker 3 (33:14):
When you're missing somebody, it makes it hard.
Speaker 2 (33:17):
And if you have somebody who doesn't understand, it makes
it harder.
Speaker 3 (33:21):
You know.
Speaker 2 (33:22):
My partner now is in the entertainment industry, and so
they give me a lot of grace and they understand
because they also have to go and.
Speaker 3 (33:29):
Do work that but they are also a person.
Speaker 2 (33:32):
At the beginning of our relationship was like, I feel
you disassociating from me, and I need you to communicate more.
And luckily, well I'm proud of myself. But within that
time of hearing that and then like fighting against it
a bit and to then recognizing and then working through
it and then going on tour again to prove myself
(33:53):
because you can't prove yourself. Say, at the end of
a tour, you're like, well, now I can't prove that
I'm not disassociating.
Speaker 3 (34:00):
Or is over.
Speaker 2 (34:01):
So then you you come home, you reset, and you're like,
I'm going to do better, and then you know, since
then you know, and she's said to me many times,
you know, I see that you've changed that behavior and
that work, and you've made me feel secure.
Speaker 3 (34:15):
You know, you make me feel secure now.
Speaker 2 (34:17):
And it's really just I think in those things, I
mean I would rather have, I shouldn't say.
Speaker 3 (34:22):
I shouldn't say I would rather have. It's hard to say.
Speaker 2 (34:26):
What I was going to say was I like having
someone to talk to and I don't want to be
you know, being on the being on the road single
is easy because you don't have to call home, but
it's also really lonely, and you know, maybe maybe you do.
You know in the old days, you might get some
(34:46):
kisses one night, but you just feel like you just
leave again, You just.
Speaker 3 (34:50):
Leave your whole life.
Speaker 2 (34:52):
Your whole life is gone, you know at times, and
it's really easy to get lost.
Speaker 3 (34:57):
So I feel so.
Speaker 2 (34:58):
Much more comforted and comfortable when I have someone to
talk to about what I'm doing, or I get a
reflection of, or I get you know, to find out
what's happening at home. It makes me feel like I'm
not completely gone from home. So, you know, it helps
to have a partner who understands and is willing to
work through those issues with you, which I'm lucky to have.
(35:19):
But yeah, you know, you have to find routines. That's
what's helped me recently. You know, my routine is basically,
wake up at ten am. You know, take a shower,
shave if I got to take a walk, a coffee walk,
and then back to venue, reconvene, set up, do the
(35:41):
sound check, and then you have and then I'll nap.
I'll have dinner and then I'll nap from like five
to six. Wake up, get dressed, start stretching.
Speaker 3 (35:51):
Do the sketching.
Speaker 1 (35:52):
I like this.
Speaker 2 (35:53):
You gotta strutch my my body is. I'm doing good now,
but I have a lot of body pains from what
I do.
Speaker 1 (36:01):
So yeah, you saw. Yeah, I had to go take
a nap after I watched.
Speaker 3 (36:05):
You do it stretching.
Speaker 2 (36:07):
Do the show, come off stage, you know, have a
couple of drinks, have some laughs, and then go to
sleep sometime around like one or two on the bus
and then repeat. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (36:17):
I mean just staying in a relationship under those kind
of circumstances, while you're having your personal growth and your
partners having their personal growth, it can be extraordinarily difficult
to stay connected. I understand what you're saying about that
it feels better to do that with somebody that's on
the same page as you, because you're both committed to
(36:40):
taking care of one another even though you're apart.
Speaker 2 (36:43):
Yes, and you understand the distance, like understanding the distance,
understanding the work.
Speaker 3 (36:49):
Those things really help.
Speaker 1 (36:50):
Last year, I think it was last year I started
watching The Changeling because I wanted to check out your
big acting debut just recently. Yeah, no, you did. This
last year was for Apple TV, right the Change, and
so yeah, I just started. I'm on episode two. I
haven't gotten to your character got me yet. But how
(37:11):
did that opportunity come? I mean, that's like the ultimate
I choose me moment. Just decide to do something completely
different and scary and jump into a completely different world
like that.
Speaker 2 (37:23):
Well, it came about because of it came about because of.
Speaker 3 (37:27):
A future Island show. And I mean I'll tell the
whole story.
Speaker 2 (37:33):
So the writer of the show came to see us
at the end of twenty twenty one. She had written
the show. It was sold, but they were just they
were on the back half of casting the main roles.
So they had most of the main roles, but there
was one role, my role, it was not yet cast.
Kelly came out of the show. Kelly Marcel was the
writer of the show and also the showrunner, and then
(37:56):
she you know, we're playing and she he's just like
mesmerized at the show. Like about halfway through the show,
I start, you know, like ripping in my face and
going into these growls more.
Speaker 3 (38:10):
And she turns to her friend and is like, is
he the guy? Is he? Like? Could he play William Wheeler?
Speaker 2 (38:15):
And her friend, who I think I think she had
read the book but had to read the scripts, was like.
Speaker 3 (38:22):
I think I think he could. I think he could
do it.
Speaker 2 (38:25):
So, yeah, the show was back at the beginning of October,
and now we're to February. I get a message request
on on Instagram from Kelly and she's like, Hi, I'm Kelly.
I've you know, these are my things that I've done
in the past. This is who I am, and I'm
writing the show and I've been trying to contact you
(38:46):
through your manager and I'm not hearing anything.
Speaker 3 (38:48):
Are you interested in acting?
Speaker 2 (38:50):
And I'm just like, oh, this still it's real. So
we talked through Instagram. I kept repeating like, you know,
I'm not an actor, right, and She's like, I think
you can do it.
Speaker 3 (39:01):
Then on a Thursday, we had our first zoom.
Speaker 2 (39:05):
And I was like, I think maybe I can do it,
you know, and and she was like you She she
was really on my side. She was like, I really
want you in this, and I think if we if
we can make good tapes, I can make a good
I can make I can pitch it and we can
do it. Once Kelly had once she had the director
and the casting director. Then they they went to the studio.
(39:29):
But but I had to I had to make my own.
Speaker 1 (39:31):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (39:31):
I had to go in and read with the casting director,
who was really great. But I've I'm not nervous, Like
I'm not a nervous person, but that I was so
nervous that first reading I was.
Speaker 3 (39:45):
It was I was like, this is not good.
Speaker 1 (39:48):
You've never this is something you've never done before. Of
course you were.
Speaker 3 (39:51):
Nervous, yeah, but it was it was raw, it was
in there, but it was wrong. So I read for them.
They were like, we're gonna get behind this.
Speaker 2 (39:57):
They they pitched me, but they were like, you got
to come back in a week and do it again
on camera and there. But they were also like, but
you need to you also need to meet with an
acting coach, Like we see you have the raw, but
you should meet with somebody. So they set Kelly set
me up with this guy, Larry Moss. Do you know
Larry Moss?
Speaker 3 (40:17):
I love that guy. Yeah, I still uncle Larry. Yeah.
We had like we did six six sessions.
Speaker 2 (40:24):
They're just like one hour sessions over zoom, and it
completely changed my whole It just changed everything in my body,
Like he released all my fear and stress in dealing
with like this thing, and it was really simple. Like
I to this day, I still want to talk to
him again and be like, did you mean what you
said or you just did you just like blow the
(40:44):
perfect amount of smoke up my ass to like, but
they went to my.
Speaker 3 (40:49):
Head because the first thing he said to me was like, look.
Speaker 2 (40:51):
I've you know, the first session, first thing, just like
I've been watching videos of performances, and I've watched a
ton of interviews of your and you're an actor, You're
just like, don't you don't trust that you are? So
we just have to get you to trust what you're doing.
If your head itches, scratch it, you know, if there's.
Speaker 1 (41:09):
Something, But do you have the bug?
Speaker 2 (41:10):
Now? I would like to act again, but but I
never That's why I told you, like you guys were
the first ones to find my secret email that I had,
so like the show came out, I got really great
reviews for my performance from some big publications and then
but nothing ever happened.
Speaker 1 (41:28):
I was like, oh, well, no, no, I think every
you know, everything happens for a reason. Everything, no matter
how awful it feels in the moment, it all leads
to the next opportunity. Even if it's scary, if it
doesn't look like an opportunity, or if you don't think
it's going to go anywhere, it all eventually works itself
out in your best interest. And that's the beautiful thing
(41:52):
about life. And I love that you found a new
passion for another art form and you know, you sound
like you feel like you're good at it, and I
can't wait to watch it so.
Speaker 3 (42:03):
Get you back.
Speaker 1 (42:04):
No, I mean I'm really excited for you. I think,
you know, the sky's the limit for what you can
do and where you can push yourself.
Speaker 3 (42:12):
Yeah, it was.
Speaker 2 (42:12):
It was a really cool It was something I needed
in that moment to ye to a new challenge and
something to make me feel to feel positive about myself.
Speaker 3 (42:23):
But just to learn something new. It was really it
was really cool. It was also really trying. It's a
hard job.
Speaker 2 (42:29):
I mean, I give you props because there's actually there's
similarities in the job, which is the it's the hurry.
Speaker 3 (42:37):
Up and way.
Speaker 2 (42:38):
But but my you know, it was it was pretty chill.
But in the beginning it was really frustrating. I had
to find I had to find peace in it, and
I drove Kelly crazy sometimes with that too.
Speaker 1 (42:50):
Well, I'm glad that you know. I'm glad that it
worked out for you, and I'm excited for your future
whatever happens with it. Before I let you go, I
want I ask everybody this, Damnuel Herring, what was your
last I choose me moment?
Speaker 2 (43:07):
I ate an extra large pepperoni pizza about three days ago.
I eat the whole thing, probably in about ten minutes
was really good.
Speaker 1 (43:17):
Well, extra large in ten minutes, Okay, I can do it.
How'd you feel?
Speaker 2 (43:23):
I felt the I felt the warm rush of blood
through my course and through my body.
Speaker 1 (43:30):
I was just like, I mean, you know, people usually
give me like answers that are a little different than that,
but I say, I really like this choice, the large
extra extra large pizza.
Speaker 2 (43:41):
It's like, it's okay, you don't have to you don't
have to diet today, you don't have to exercise, you
get to relax. Yep, because I don't get to eat
pizza on the road because it destroys my voice. It
comes me up and gives me reflex, it burns my throat,
so like when I get home, it's kind of a thing.
(44:02):
And I waited and I was like, you know what,
maybe not this time. Maybe maybe I'm going to have
better habits when I go home. And then a couple
of days went by and I was like, I'm gonna
get that pizza.
Speaker 3 (44:11):
Now.
Speaker 1 (44:13):
It's all in moderation, and you know what, if it
feels good, do it. But it's all moderation. But I
love that. It sounds like you are more in touch
with like how to take care of yourself and just
you know, in those those dark times, you get stronger
and stronger how to take care of you, you know,
And I think I'm just happy to see you on
(44:35):
that journey and on that right path because you're so
so talented.
Speaker 3 (44:40):
Thank you so much. I'm so excited about writing again.
Speaker 1 (44:43):
Yeah, waiting, we'll be listening. Yeah, everybody, you've got to
check out Future Islands. Take it from me.
Speaker 3 (44:51):
Thank you, Jinny, I really appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (44:56):
Samuel is so interesting. I have been such a huge
fan of his music, so that was so great to
get to know him on a more personal level. And
I hope if you didn't know about his band Future
Islands before this, you will go check them out now.
The music is transformational as we continue to choose ourselves
each week, I want to challenge you this week to
(45:18):
consider something. Should you be getting expert help or guidance.
We talked about this with Samuel his choice to get
into therapy in the world of difference that it has
made for him, and therapy isn't just for people that
have experienced major trauma. Maybe you're struggling with your work
life balance, or maybe you want to learn to set
(45:41):
better boundaries I don't know. Give it some thought this week,
and I just want to encourage you to think about it,
to seek expert help. If you are feeling unsettled in
any area of your life. This is your gentle reminder
to choose you. Thanks for listening to I Choose Me,
and check out all our social links in our show notes,
(46:02):
rate and review, and give us some messages of love.
Use the hashtag I Choose Me. I will be here
next week. I hope you choose to be here too,
You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Garth. Hey everyone,
welcome to the I Choose Me Podcast. This podcast is
all about the choices we make and where they lead us.
My guest today is a musician, a rapper, and the
lead singer of the band Future Islands that I am
(00:24):
a big fan of and you might also know him
from the Apple TV Plus show The Changeling, where he
made his acting debut last year. Please welcome Samuel t
Herring to the I Choose Me Podcast. We're gonna jump in,
but I just want to say thank you, thank you
for coming on, and thank you so much that you
said yes.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
I think your team is the first person to find
my secret email who.
Speaker 3 (00:49):
I was like, it does work, that's so cool.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
Well, they're good, so that makes sense.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
Yeah, I was like, I got a request, but it
was excited. We were really excited to hear that you
came to the show. That's just so cool.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
I'm going to give my husband credit because we both
love music, but he has introduced me to some of
the best bands around, and yours is right at the
top of that list. We just got you guys in
La at the Shrine and Dave had had seeing Future
Islands on our calendar since like May, right, and the
(01:21):
thing was, I've been traveling a lot for work. I
got home, I was home for one day. I had
a photo shoot all day long, and I thought, there's
no way I'm going to be up to going to
the show. And I didn't want to disappoint him because,
like I said, he was really looking forward to it.
But we finished earlier that day and I literally like
made myself get excited to go to the show because
(01:41):
I was really excited, but I was also so so tired,
no offense. So we went and something really good happened
to me that night. Your music just reminded me to dance,
you know, and I it just genuinely made me so happy.
That carried on for days, that feeling of happiness that
(02:03):
I got from seeing you play live. You guys are
just incredible live.
Speaker 3 (02:08):
Well that's uh, yeah, that's awesome. I'm glad that.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
You know, the whole the whole point of the show
is to kind of crack people a bit, you know,
break open something that's not there. And I mean that's
you know, the my movement is to make other people move.
Of course, you know that it's a safe space. If
I can do it, you can do it. That kind
of thing, you know, it's a hook. But yeah, that's
(02:33):
just it's a high compliment and it's the goal.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
We were like up in the back and everybody wanted
to sit down and I was not having that and
you were like, everybody, get up. And I'm so glad
that you said that, because these old study dudies behind
me wanted to like sit and watch you before. No, no,
thank you.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
And you know that that happens sometimes, especially when you
move into theaters and stuff. But man, when I go
to a show, I want to sit down. I'm always
looking for the green room.
Speaker 3 (02:59):
When I go to a sho I don't get to
go back there.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
Through the Roses that has been one of our songs,
you know, for me, just like through All the Ship. Yep.
It's an upbeat mode to how hards like relationships can be.
But for me, it just reminds me that we're stronger
together somehow. And Little Dreamer is the song that I
(03:24):
am absolutely obsessed with right now. What does it mean?
I mean, I can interpret it and maybe maybe you're
talking about your cat. I don't know, but here's what
I hear when I when I listen to it, I
hear you talking to yourself about to your little dreamer inside,
and that something so comforting to me about it, like
there's so much heartache, but it's hopeful somehow. And then
(03:48):
there's the fucking birds. There's birds in that song, Like
where did the birds come from?
Speaker 3 (03:53):
That's actually a good question.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
At some point or another I knew it was probably
I'm going to say it was probably William of Field
recording that he made, and I feel like it was
from Windell. His hometown is a tiny little town outside
of Rally in North Carolina. I can't I'm not actually
sure though. You know, in our not our most recent record,
with the one before that, we also the record opens
(04:17):
the song Glatta, which is it's the Swedish word for happy,
but it's also a bird. It's the kite, you know,
with the big v tails, these beautiful birds that swoop
over and it's like they're through England and southern Sweden.
Speaker 3 (04:30):
And the red kite.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
But that that also opens with these sounds of geese,
and I don't know, it's something calming when you when
you have we used to do we used to play
a lot more with field recordings.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
It just reminds you of a place it puts.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
It creates a setting, you know, and sometimes I think
about you know, of course.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
You saw the show, so there's a theater. There's a
theatrical element to it. There's a theater to it.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
But you know, and when I usually when I write
a song, the first line is always the hardest, and
it's about you know that those first lines are about
like creating the setting, just like you would a play
or something.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
So I think when you have the ability to cheat
and put birds.
Speaker 2 (05:10):
Sound in the sound of the sounds of uh, you
know when through reads. There's an album we have on
the Water which is has the clanking of like the
sails you know, on ships at night. Yeah, And I mean,
I don't know what the average person hears when they
hear that, but when I hear it, it takes me
right back to that place.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
So yeah, there's something that like forces my brain when
I hear that to like stay really focused on what
I'm listening to. I don't know what.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
It is, but dream is, especially that little tweet something
about it.
Speaker 3 (05:45):
It's like we caught a really perfect moment from from
a bird.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
Uh, huh, what is that?
Speaker 3 (05:50):
Was?
Speaker 1 (05:50):
I even close with my interpretation, it's.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
Not about my cat.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
Okay good, but no, I mean that well that song,
you know, that song in a lot of ways to
me feels like it is the It says a lot
about the life of this band. You know, Future Allens
was is eighteen and a half years old now, and
we had a band before that. You know, we had
me Wayim and Garrett the William the bassis, Scarrett the keyboardist.
Speaker 3 (06:18):
Of course we have Mike the drummer. Don't want to
leave Mike out.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
But in the beginning, the three of us had a
band called art Lord with a couple other friends. Art
Lord and this Portraits and that was like our college band,
performance art piece and music was the was the medium.
And then you know when Future Islands began in six
So we did that for two and a half years,
didn't have a band for about six months, and then
started Future Islands in six I was going through so
(06:43):
much in my life at that time. I had I
was addicted to drugs. I had a problem with cocaine
for like two and a half years, so only like
four four and I know this show is about being
open and vulnerable, and you got the right guy.
Speaker 3 (06:55):
Because I tell it all.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
But it the the band kind of began when I
was kind of losing my mind.
Speaker 3 (07:04):
I was at my bottom.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
But it took another four months and then I was
able to leave town and get clean and through you know,
through my parents' help. But then I left and I
was living out of my van doing odd job construction
around North Carolina, for North Carolina originally for a few months,
and I started talking to this girl down in Florida,
(07:26):
and eventually I just went down there. I was spending
time with her, and then I was like, come back
with me to North Carolina and we but I didn't
have a place to go.
Speaker 3 (07:34):
I didn't have a house.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
I just slept on friends couches around North Carolina. So
she did that with me for a few months, and
then we settled in a place in Asheville.
Speaker 3 (07:43):
North Carolina.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
And so that song is about that room that we
stayed in. You know, it was like eight roommates, one bathroom,
an old punk house.
Speaker 3 (07:54):
It was like basically a squat house.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
Like we split, like we split one hundred and sixty
bucks a month rent. She worked at a little clothing
shop and I worked at Domino's Pizza delivering pizzas, and
we just like made it work, you know, And so
that song, you know, she was really at that whole time,
I was really trying to I'd lost myself, you know,
within my drug problems. I didn't fracture my relationships with
(08:20):
my friends and my bandmates, but I just wasn't there.
Speaker 3 (08:23):
I was gone.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
And then so that song has traveled for seventeen years
through my life, through her being there and then her
being gone, you know, at the very beginning of us splitting,
and then like the years of noncommunication and then like
recommunicating and then being like, I don't want to sing
this song anymore, like if it hurts her.
Speaker 3 (08:43):
Or if it hurts me, to really accepting.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
In the last few years, it's been about like that
meaning has changed, but it's been about it like accepting
your past and accepting love that isn't there anymore, because
it was still love, you know, And that's really what
it means to me now, Like I can't stop myself
from the good memories, even if I'm in a new place,
(09:06):
if I'm in another good relationship. There was still a time,
you know, and all the bad stuff that followed doesn't
take away that time and that sense of peace and
calm that I felt in that moment, and how important
that was to really the beginning of my next life,
you know, because that the two thousand and the beginning
of Future Islands was also the end of my old life.
And and in writing that song in that first you
(09:28):
know that was the first of Future Islands album was
really kind of me discovering myself again. There's another song
on that album, Wave Like Home, called Old Friend, which
is literally about me looking in the mirror and like
like recognizing myself again after so many years of being yeah,
being lost of myself.
Speaker 3 (09:46):
So the old the old Friend is me, you know.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
Not not another person. I'm I'm I'm finding myself again.
So really, yeah, that it's that song is very It
has so much meaning, but it's so crazy that you
can encapsulate that in those moments and then the original
person or the original thought, the original feeling you're so
(10:09):
far away from that, it can still take you there.
It can transport you there, and then it can be
something that people get their own feeling from because you
want you want that too. I want people to whatever
good you can get out of our music or our
songs like and put it on your own life, Like
that's so positive.
Speaker 3 (10:27):
It's art. You know, it's supposed to move with people
and move through people.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
You said in your band Future Islands started just you
and your buddies in two thousand and six. But I
want to just rewind a little bit, and I want
to sort of set the stage for our listeners. You're
from North Carolina, as you mentioned. Tell me a little
bit about your childhood. Do you remember the first time
that you sang? And I wanted to know who was
(11:00):
encouraging you to follow your dreams? Who was it that
was standing behind you?
Speaker 2 (11:04):
You know, I grew up in a really I grew
up in a small town eastern North Carolina. I was
just like a two minute walk to the shore, the sound,
you know, the water trap between us and the Barrier
Island that was out of the ocean.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
I had my grandma right around the corner.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
It was It's a pretty a pretty simple, I would say,
a pretty simple, normal childhood. But that didn't really stop
me from feeling weird and out of place. But you know,
my mom loved to sing, so she played piano. We
would stand around her while she played the piano with
sheet music and sing songs together me, my brother and her.
Speaker 3 (11:37):
I have an older brother. It's just the two of us.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
And so my brother really was he was more of
the the big He was more of a ham, I
would say, than me even and he's still like such
an amazing singer, such an amazing performer and really kind
of my first, yeah, my first like idea of what
a person was because like I saw his band play
(12:02):
when I was like twelve, you know, and I did.
Speaker 3 (12:06):
I would sing at a young age seven eight nine.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
Like in school for what do you call them, like
assemblies and then some drama stuff. But and I always
you know, it was like I had a really good
voice back then. I had this little angelic like kid's voice,
you know, some children just having yeah, no no cigarettes
(12:30):
back but I was like I could sing, but that
wasn't really something I was trying to do. And then
it was music hit me with hip hop, and so
when I was thirteen, I fell in love with rap music.
And then I was like I want to know all
about this, I want to know all about the history
(12:52):
of this. So I just started studying like and my
brother helped me, like gather stuff off the internet. You know,
we would print up like this is like the Internet
in nineteen ninety six and seven.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
You know, yeah, they were silent, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
Very slow.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
There's not you know, there's like it's just text. You know,
every website is just text. And he would print up
these books of like how to break dance and how
to like graph right and the proper like spray tips
you need to do graffiti, and and you know, learning
about just the music and the history of like how
(13:29):
it came to be.
Speaker 3 (13:30):
I was just fascinated.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
And a lot of it was that it was so
foreign to me, and it also I liked that it
was like I had secret knowledge, you know, and I
was like, I want to write. And at the same time,
I was discovering poetry Carl Sandberg and Theodore RecA at
like twelve and thirteen, and I went through like my
first like my first crush. And then that also that
(13:55):
just made you know, the poetry run, that made the
wraps run. I wanted to be a rapper, and that's
what when I went to college, That's what was my goal.
And then I met William and then we started a
ban and that's kind of like that's like history.
Speaker 3 (14:10):
You know, that's just the way it goes.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
Just happened.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
But yeah, but I was, Yeah, there was always a
safe space. Like my parents were very much. They both
grew up in really hard working families and worked really
hard and we're like the first to go to college
and their families and because of that, they raised their
sons to be artists, which they regretted later. And I
also regret sometimes too, because like my work ethic is
(14:35):
bad outside of my art.
Speaker 3 (14:38):
You know, I feel I work really hard at what
I do.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
Yeah, you seem like a really hard worker to me.
Speaker 2 (14:44):
Well, and that's it's me being hard on myself. I mean,
I don't know how many partners I've had to have
told me that, like, you know, you're allowed to rest.
I'm learning now. I'm learning now, But it is you know,
I gained that workaholic nature from my parents, and I
would say even more so my father, And I was
angry at him as a kid that he worked so hard.
(15:05):
And now I find myself as the same in a
similar position where I can't be happy unless I'm created
something and I'm a little away from that. Like I
think I've grown a lot in the last couple of
years because that's something that was said told to me
and then I recognized it, and then I was like,
(15:27):
I need to correct this, and I need to give
myself some grace to really relax at times, you know,
because I get off a.
Speaker 3 (15:35):
Tour and I'm beat.
Speaker 2 (15:37):
But my first thing is like I got off this
tour and I just sat down and I started writing
a song and it made me happy. You know, it
made me happy because I can move from that the crowd,
whether you know, the stage work and the work of
being on the road is very different than the creative
process of creating a song. That's when you get to
(15:57):
like pull something new and find who you are in
that moment as opposed to working through old emotions or
doing a performance.
Speaker 3 (16:06):
You know, because there are.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
Moments on stage, like what you saw is there are
moments of transcendence where I'm discovering new things and I'm
connected with the audience. And then there are times where
I'm like, well, I'm going to do this high kick
because it's going to look cool and it's for the audience,
you know, and that's not that's the that's the once
again hook people.
Speaker 3 (16:27):
So that then you can go back into those spaces.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
But there's the performance aspect, which is work, and then
there's the and then if you're lucky, you are able
to go into the body and find something new.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
You mentioned I think it was at your concert actually,
that when you finish an album, it's this huge expression
and a release of emotions around the things that you
are going through working through in your real life at
that time. And then once the album finally comes out,
you know, when you start touring with that music, it
might be kind you might be kind of past those
(17:02):
emotions or that, you know, onto that next hurdle in
your life, but you're having to relive it all over
again night after night playing it. What's that like? I mean,
does that do you feel like that holds you back?
Or does it sort of propel you forward?
Speaker 3 (17:17):
Uh? I mean it probably does a bit of I
want to say that.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
I want to say that performing the song helps to
create some closures within the self. It doesn't create closure
with a person, but it creates closure and acceptance with
the self. It also a thing I found is it
makes you you know, when you say something you don't
want to say, especially if it's damning to yourself and
(17:46):
you put it on record, you are saying, I'm living
with this and I want everybody to know that I'm
you know, I can't. I can't go and tell people
that they need to be honest with their emotions in themselves.
Speaker 3 (17:58):
And then me hide myself, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
And so so I push into those moments so that
when I get on stage and I sing it out
to people, then I see how it bounces back and
then and then I become accountable not just to myself
but to all of these people, and then it just uh.
I found that it helps me to to accept things
(18:25):
and just find you know. It's also about creating a
space of you know, I see the stage as power.
Speaker 3 (18:32):
You know, the microphone is power, and you have you
can use it or lose it. I don't want that.
I shouldn't have rhymed that.
Speaker 2 (18:40):
And so I think it is like, if you can
be vulnerable from a point of from a place of power,
then you can you can change.
Speaker 3 (18:49):
You can create change.
Speaker 2 (18:51):
Because if I can get up there and be and
and cry for you and then smile it off and
be like I'm okay, we're okay together, then you you
can break into people's and what their expectation of what
people are.
Speaker 3 (19:07):
Supposed to be, what people are supposed to do.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
You know, I feel like you're talking about like it's
sort of like a reciprocal release and connection with your
audience that it's mutually beneficial for you and for the
people listening or watching.
Speaker 3 (19:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
Yeah, but I think I even answer your question. Sorry,
I'm real tangential.
Speaker 1 (19:28):
Yeah that's okay, Yeah, that's okay. But you know, I
was just because I think, like, you know, you wrote
that song a while ago and you're still playing it
live night after night, especially when you're touring. Yeah, you know,
because I know you have to have grown and changed
in the interim of you know, between writing it and
performing it, Like there's a lot that happens to a person,
(19:50):
and you know, there's so much like a different person
at that point, but you have to go back to
that those feelings and to that moment to get that
condra up, that true emotion to deliver that. You know.
Speaker 2 (20:02):
Yeah, and it can be hard to like, you know,
my my partner now, you know, I've been like is
it okay? You know, because because it's and I've talked
to you know, old partners about like, is it strange
to have to hear these kinds of songs that are
about past relationships. But you know, they also they come
(20:23):
you know, they understand like it's just your art, because
I am, like it's it's art in the end. At
first it's really heavy emotion, and then the story is
get encapsulated like it is it is something, And I
don't know if that's good or bad, but it is
like the singing of the songs and creating that acceptance,
it also puts callouses on them, you know, it puts
(20:45):
callouses on those emotions and those things, and it encapsulates
them in those moments.
Speaker 3 (20:50):
And maybe in some ways that's negative because.
Speaker 2 (20:52):
It it changes the It can change the memory, you
know if you if you just remember that this thing
in this way. And that's why I think why it's
important to be reflective and see how things move.
Speaker 1 (21:12):
I think you said in some interview that after one
of your breakups you started therapy. Yeah, how were you
when you started therapy?
Speaker 2 (21:21):
I would have been I was thirty seven. Yes, this
was the end of the end of twenty one. And
I mean to be fair, like I had been like
that that relationship had been really had been really positive.
In my life, and it, you know, it diminished through
the pandemic in that space because my partner was overseas,
(21:42):
my ex was overseas, and we just didn't we weren't
able to get to one another for a really long
time in it. And it never popped back like when
the pandemic lifted.
Speaker 3 (21:53):
It was the feelings.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
Were gone and she or her feelings were gone and
she let me go.
Speaker 3 (22:00):
And then you just have to deal with it.
Speaker 2 (22:01):
But because of that relationship and the positivity of it
and the love that I felt through it and knew
was real, it wasn't like does you know, was it
not real? It wasn't one of those It was like, no, no, no,
you guys had a real thing. And then sometimes stuff
just happens and there are things you can't control and
people and people change, and you know, feelings, our feelings
(22:27):
are fluid and you can't really you have to look
after yourselves and be good to yourself and move forward
as best you can. But it was in coming home,
I was like, I need to find a therapist immediately
before I break down, before I you know, relapse into
drugs or drinking too heavily.
Speaker 3 (22:44):
I drink, but you know, just going down a bad
path like like drugs, sex, just.
Speaker 2 (22:50):
Like binge, eating, you know, any of these things. And
I was able to find somebody. But even in that time,
I was very it was very home and I think
it's because that even though I was hurting from losing
the relationship, the relationship also it had a positive effect
on me.
Speaker 3 (23:10):
You know.
Speaker 2 (23:10):
I feel like the first relationship where I really had
a true mutual love in my life. So I was
able to grow in that, you know, and I was older,
of course, you know, was in my I was in
my thirties already, right, I.
Speaker 3 (23:26):
Wasn't just some young punk, no.
Speaker 1 (23:30):
But it takes that pain sometimes to get to that growth,
and there's no way of getting around it. You just
got to go through it. I mean, doing the work.
When you know, when we talk about going to therapy
and talk about the work that we have to do,
our personal inner work whatever, it's scary and keeps people
from seeking therapy, I think, and you know, I think
(23:51):
a lot of people are just as great afraid to
do the work. I mean, if you were to say
to someone listening right now who maybe hasn't tried therapy,
like what would you would you encourage another person to
do therapy.
Speaker 3 (24:05):
Oh definitely.
Speaker 2 (24:06):
I mean I think the world could use it, and
even if just to I think, even if just to
have I really think of it as a reflecting point.
And you know, different therapists are different, uh, and in
the ways that they they do what they do, and
you can find people that specialize. Sometimes you just have
a bad fit and that can be really off putting,
(24:27):
you know. I Luckily I'm with the person that I
started with and we have a really good rapport and
really like the biggest thing that he does for me
is just remind me of what I've said in the past.
Speaker 3 (24:38):
So I'll tell him, like, you know, I'll tell him
this is what's going on and this is how I feel.
Speaker 2 (24:43):
And he's like, well, you said something completely different through
three months ago, or you know, I think this is
what I need. And it's like, well, you said this,
are you are you feeling or have you changed your mind?
Speaker 3 (24:52):
Or you are you just feeling anxious? You know?
Speaker 2 (24:54):
Are you you know what's happening to make you feel
this way?
Speaker 1 (24:59):
So he's like holding up mirror for you.
Speaker 3 (25:01):
Yeah, So that for me, that's what therapy is is.
Speaker 2 (25:05):
It's been beneficial is really holding up a mirror to
me so that I can sit in my feelings again,
which is the thing that he's since the beginning. He's like,
you have to figure out how to sit in your
emotion instead of instead of reacting really irrationally or rashly
is the word I was trying to use, like, you know,
very quickly, hastily to just because I'm an emotional person
(25:29):
and so I just like act and that can lead
to Yeah, that can lead to fractures and relationships and
friendships if you don't take a breath, you know, like like,
don't write the email back today, write or write it
and put it in the draft. I've done that a
(25:51):
lot in the last few years, and that's been really
good practice. And then I'm like, I'm glad I didn't
say that, because.
Speaker 1 (25:59):
I am a kind of like you've been through it,
Like you've talked a lot about, you know, your life experiences,
not only through your music, but you know, in interviews
and stuff, and you've talked about your drug addiction and
about your challenges with mental health and how you've fought
you know, your way from being a teen with suicidal
(26:19):
ideations and you had you filled voids with substances and
like you said, eating all the things, sex, eating, doing
everything you could to stuff things down and not deal
with them. But I know you've been some really dark places.
But from what I gather through not just your music,
but from the research that I've done on you, like
(26:40):
a creeper, I feel like you're really very intelligent, like
an emotionally intelligent man, which is that's what the work
is about.
Speaker 2 (26:50):
Yes, and I thank you for saying that is something
that I It's one of those weird things where I
felt like that since I was a kid. So my
father is a he's a divorce attorney, and my mother
runs the office. So it's just the two of them,
and they're so interesting because you know, they to this day,
they still they wake up together, they go to work together,
(27:11):
they work together, they come home together, and they're still
just like pinching each other's asses, and they're just real cute.
Speaker 3 (27:17):
They're just cute, funny people.
Speaker 2 (27:19):
And so I come from this really loving relationship. But
also I was in this in this office for so
many years of my life. Up until probably was like
fourteen or thirteen or fourteen, I'd probably stopped going to
the office after school, and I would hear so much
emotion coming.
Speaker 3 (27:37):
Through those walls. I would hear people crying, I would
hear people yelling.
Speaker 2 (27:41):
I'd hear you know, I'd hear laughter, you know, and this,
and I couldn't make out what was being said. It
was just that who you know, like Charlie Brown, Charlie
Brown mom voice over the phone. But but I could
feel the emotion. And I don't know, Sorry, parents, But
I don't think it was good for me, you know,
(28:01):
I think.
Speaker 3 (28:01):
It was actually.
Speaker 2 (28:04):
I think it was maybe an over exposure for both
me and my brother.
Speaker 3 (28:09):
But I think it made me.
Speaker 2 (28:12):
Extremely empathetic from a young age and like like really
trying to to understand people or to just try to
I don't know, Just like I do give my dad credit.
My dad's the kind of guy who would just like
I would walk to him to the post office every
day to drop off mail and pick up mail, and
(28:33):
it's just a little like quarter mile walk, and every
day he would he was just like the one time
in the daytime I could hang out with my dad,
so I would like always go on the walk, but
it would end up just like him at the post
office talking to some person for thirty minutes and then
we would leave and every time I'd be like, who
is that? And he's like, I have no idea, And
I was like what is happening? Because I'm also like
(28:55):
I want to hang out with my dad, but he's
hanging out.
Speaker 3 (28:57):
With a stranger.
Speaker 2 (28:58):
But that thing also taught me about the way you
treat everybody in giving everyone this like respect and like
I said, you know, a small town vibe. And my
dad really taught me how to how to you know,
you talk to the judge the same way you talk
to the janitor type thing.
Speaker 3 (29:15):
And he literally has said that to me.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
You know, there there are lessons in that in that
office that I learned. It was also like learning to
like take care of myself and play with myself, make
my own games, you know, you know, playing in the woods,
you know so much.
Speaker 3 (29:30):
So much of those the songs.
Speaker 2 (29:33):
Of futur Rounds are really about those places around that office.
Speaker 1 (29:38):
There's something though about that time, whether you were with
your brother in the office or you were out exploring
the woods or whatever. That solitude and that like presence,
just being with yourself, but knowing that you're just this
big and there's so much around you. You know that
it really makes you think on a deeper level. I think,
(29:58):
and really I can I can hear that in your lyrics.
I can definitely feel that from the music that you
guys make. And that's irreplaceable, Like you can't learn that,
you can't. You know. That's that amazing exposure you had
as a young person.
Speaker 3 (30:14):
Yeah, I think so.
Speaker 2 (30:15):
I mean, it's interesting, you know so much of me
and Garrett's friendship. You know, I have to the words
don't have. The music is the bed that allows me
to dream, you know what I mean. And so the
guys are creating this music that isn't that is very emotional.
It's not like I'm just implanting an emotion. It's like
(30:37):
the things that some of the sounds that Garrett uses,
the way where I'm like bows or like gets into
these deep sounds like that remind me of the sea.
Speaker 3 (30:47):
You know.
Speaker 2 (30:48):
They take me to a place that allows me to reflect,
but takes me to a place to reflect. But me
and Garrett, you know, I know that we were really
I think a lot of the reason that we became
friends was because we both didn't feel that the world
made sense and we felt like kind of isolated and
(31:10):
then we kind of found each other. But we also
both have that the darkness of spirit which we are fighting.
And Garrett's done a better job in his life and
he's you know, he has a beautiful family and and it.
Speaker 3 (31:27):
Just makes me so so happy.
Speaker 2 (31:29):
But I we still talk about it, you know, and
understanding like where our friendship came from, and that those
things don't go away. You know, we deal, We learn
to deal and understand our emotions and those feelings. And
then when finding a friend or even communicating with a
stranger sometimes then we're we break out of isolation.
Speaker 3 (31:51):
To have that place.
Speaker 2 (31:52):
But for me, when Garrett in particular writes a sad
song or I shouldn't say a sad song, but a
song that is imbued with a deep emotion, I understand
it in a different way. You know, there's so much
to be said for the friendship of the three of
us and now the four of us that really that
is the spirit of the music.
Speaker 1 (32:20):
Can we talk about life on the road for a second. Yeah,
does it suck as bad as I imagine it to suck?
Because for me, like when I go away to work,
I can really easily lose my grasp with where I've
come from or the life that I've just left for
(32:40):
those weeks months, whatever it is. How do you stay
grounded when you're on the road and what do you
do to take care of yourself?
Speaker 2 (32:51):
I mean it's yeah, the road is not for everyone,
and it gets less a healing the.
Speaker 3 (33:00):
Older you get.
Speaker 2 (33:03):
The road was great when I was twenty six, you know,
and I was free and I didn't have to call
home or you know, call someone at home, and I
didn't have to miss somebody.
Speaker 3 (33:14):
When you're missing somebody, it makes it hard.
Speaker 2 (33:17):
And if you have somebody who doesn't understand, it makes
it harder.
Speaker 3 (33:21):
You know.
Speaker 2 (33:22):
My partner now is in the entertainment industry, and so
they give me a lot of grace and they understand
because they also have to go and.
Speaker 3 (33:29):
Do work that but they are also a person.
Speaker 2 (33:32):
At the beginning of our relationship was like, I feel
you disassociating from me, and I need you to communicate more.
And luckily, well I'm proud of myself. But within that
time of hearing that and then like fighting against it
a bit and to then recognizing and then working through
it and then going on tour again to prove myself
(33:53):
because you can't prove yourself. Say, at the end of
a tour, you're like, well, now I can't prove that
I'm not disassociating.
Speaker 3 (34:00):
Or is over.
Speaker 2 (34:01):
So then you you come home, you reset, and you're like,
I'm going to do better, and then you know, since
then you know, and she's said to me many times,
you know, I see that you've changed that behavior and
that work, and you've made me feel secure.
Speaker 3 (34:15):
You know, you make me feel secure now.
Speaker 2 (34:17):
And it's really just I think in those things, I
mean I would rather have, I shouldn't say.
Speaker 3 (34:22):
I shouldn't say I would rather have. It's hard to say.
Speaker 2 (34:26):
What I was going to say was I like having
someone to talk to and I don't want to be
you know, being on the being on the road single
is easy because you don't have to call home, but
it's also really lonely, and you know, maybe maybe you do.
You know in the old days, you might get some
(34:46):
kisses one night, but you just feel like you just
leave again, You just.
Speaker 3 (34:50):
Leave your whole life.
Speaker 2 (34:52):
Your whole life is gone, you know at times, and
it's really easy to get lost.
Speaker 3 (34:57):
So I feel so.
Speaker 2 (34:58):
Much more comforted and comfortable when I have someone to
talk to about what I'm doing, or I get a
reflection of, or I get you know, to find out
what's happening at home. It makes me feel like I'm
not completely gone from home. So, you know, it helps
to have a partner who understands and is willing to
work through those issues with you, which I'm lucky to have.
(35:19):
But yeah, you know, you have to find routines. That's
what's helped me recently. You know, my routine is basically,
wake up at ten am. You know, take a shower,
shave if I got to take a walk, a coffee walk,
and then back to venue, reconvene, set up, do the
(35:41):
sound check, and then you have and then I'll nap.
I'll have dinner and then I'll nap from like five
to six. Wake up, get dressed, start stretching.
Speaker 3 (35:51):
Do the sketching.
Speaker 1 (35:52):
I like this.
Speaker 2 (35:53):
You gotta strutch my my body is. I'm doing good now,
but I have a lot of body pains from what
I do.
Speaker 1 (36:01):
So yeah, you saw. Yeah, I had to go take
a nap after I watched.
Speaker 3 (36:05):
You do it stretching.
Speaker 2 (36:07):
Do the show, come off stage, you know, have a
couple of drinks, have some laughs, and then go to
sleep sometime around like one or two on the bus
and then repeat. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (36:17):
I mean just staying in a relationship under those kind
of circumstances, while you're having your personal growth and your
partners having their personal growth, it can be extraordinarily difficult
to stay connected. I understand what you're saying about that
it feels better to do that with somebody that's on
the same page as you, because you're both committed to
(36:40):
taking care of one another even though you're apart.
Speaker 2 (36:43):
Yes, and you understand the distance, like understanding the distance,
understanding the work.
Speaker 3 (36:49):
Those things really help.
Speaker 1 (36:50):
Last year, I think it was last year I started
watching The Changeling because I wanted to check out your
big acting debut just recently. Yeah, no, you did. This
last year was for Apple TV, right the Change, and
so yeah, I just started. I'm on episode two. I
haven't gotten to your character got me yet. But how
(37:11):
did that opportunity come? I mean, that's like the ultimate
I choose me moment. Just decide to do something completely
different and scary and jump into a completely different world
like that.
Speaker 2 (37:23):
Well, it came about because of it came about because of.
Speaker 3 (37:27):
A future Island show. And I mean I'll tell the
whole story.
Speaker 2 (37:33):
So the writer of the show came to see us
at the end of twenty twenty one. She had written
the show. It was sold, but they were just they
were on the back half of casting the main roles.
So they had most of the main roles, but there
was one role, my role, it was not yet cast.
Kelly came out of the show. Kelly Marcel was the
writer of the show and also the showrunner, and then
(37:56):
she you know, we're playing and she he's just like
mesmerized at the show. Like about halfway through the show,
I start, you know, like ripping in my face and
going into these growls more.
Speaker 3 (38:10):
And she turns to her friend and is like, is
he the guy? Is he? Like? Could he play William Wheeler?
Speaker 2 (38:15):
And her friend, who I think I think she had
read the book but had to read the scripts, was like.
Speaker 3 (38:22):
I think I think he could. I think he could
do it.
Speaker 2 (38:25):
So, yeah, the show was back at the beginning of October,
and now we're to February. I get a message request
on on Instagram from Kelly and she's like, Hi, I'm Kelly.
I've you know, these are my things that I've done
in the past. This is who I am, and I'm
writing the show and I've been trying to contact you
(38:46):
through your manager and I'm not hearing anything.
Speaker 3 (38:48):
Are you interested in acting?
Speaker 2 (38:50):
And I'm just like, oh, this still it's real. So
we talked through Instagram. I kept repeating like, you know,
I'm not an actor, right, and She's like, I think
you can do it.
Speaker 3 (39:01):
Then on a Thursday, we had our first zoom.
Speaker 2 (39:05):
And I was like, I think maybe I can do it,
you know, and and she was like you She she
was really on my side. She was like, I really
want you in this, and I think if we if
we can make good tapes, I can make a good
I can make I can pitch it and we can
do it. Once Kelly had once she had the director
and the casting director. Then they they went to the studio.
(39:29):
But but I had to I had to make my own.
Speaker 1 (39:31):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (39:31):
I had to go in and read with the casting director,
who was really great. But I've I'm not nervous, Like
I'm not a nervous person, but that I was so
nervous that first reading I was.
Speaker 3 (39:45):
It was I was like, this is not good.
Speaker 1 (39:48):
You've never this is something you've never done before. Of
course you were.
Speaker 3 (39:51):
Nervous, yeah, but it was it was raw, it was
in there, but it was wrong. So I read for them.
They were like, we're gonna get behind this.
Speaker 2 (39:57):
They they pitched me, but they were like, you got
to come back in a week and do it again
on camera and there. But they were also like, but
you need to you also need to meet with an
acting coach, Like we see you have the raw, but
you should meet with somebody. So they set Kelly set
me up with this guy, Larry Moss. Do you know
Larry Moss?
Speaker 3 (40:17):
I love that guy. Yeah, I still uncle Larry. Yeah.
We had like we did six six sessions.
Speaker 2 (40:24):
They're just like one hour sessions over zoom, and it
completely changed my whole It just changed everything in my body,
Like he released all my fear and stress in dealing
with like this thing, and it was really simple. Like
I to this day, I still want to talk to
him again and be like, did you mean what you
said or you just did you just like blow the
(40:44):
perfect amount of smoke up my ass to like, but
they went to my.
Speaker 3 (40:49):
Head because the first thing he said to me was like, look.
Speaker 2 (40:51):
I've you know, the first session, first thing, just like
I've been watching videos of performances, and I've watched a
ton of interviews of your and you're an actor, You're
just like, don't you don't trust that you are? So
we just have to get you to trust what you're doing.
If your head itches, scratch it, you know, if there's.
Speaker 1 (41:09):
Something, But do you have the bug?
Speaker 2 (41:10):
Now? I would like to act again, but but I
never That's why I told you, like you guys were
the first ones to find my secret email that I had,
so like the show came out, I got really great
reviews for my performance from some big publications and then
but nothing ever happened.
Speaker 1 (41:28):
I was like, oh, well, no, no, I think every
you know, everything happens for a reason. Everything, no matter
how awful it feels in the moment, it all leads
to the next opportunity. Even if it's scary, if it
doesn't look like an opportunity, or if you don't think
it's going to go anywhere, it all eventually works itself
out in your best interest. And that's the beautiful thing
(41:52):
about life. And I love that you found a new
passion for another art form and you know, you sound
like you feel like you're good at it, and I
can't wait to watch it so.
Speaker 3 (42:03):
Get you back.
Speaker 1 (42:04):
No, I mean I'm really excited for you. I think,
you know, the sky's the limit for what you can
do and where you can push yourself.
Speaker 3 (42:12):
Yeah, it was.
Speaker 2 (42:12):
It was a really cool It was something I needed
in that moment to ye to a new challenge and
something to make me feel to feel positive about myself.
Speaker 3 (42:23):
But just to learn something new. It was really it
was really cool. It was also really trying. It's a
hard job.
Speaker 2 (42:29):
I mean, I give you props because there's actually there's
similarities in the job, which is the it's the hurry.
Speaker 3 (42:37):
Up and way.
Speaker 2 (42:38):
But but my you know, it was it was pretty chill.
But in the beginning it was really frustrating. I had
to find I had to find peace in it, and
I drove Kelly crazy sometimes with that too.
Speaker 1 (42:50):
Well, I'm glad that you know. I'm glad that it
worked out for you, and I'm excited for your future
whatever happens with it. Before I let you go, I
want I ask everybody this, Damnuel Herring, what was your
last I choose me moment?
Speaker 2 (43:07):
I ate an extra large pepperoni pizza about three days ago.
I eat the whole thing, probably in about ten minutes
was really good.
Speaker 1 (43:17):
Well, extra large in ten minutes, Okay, I can do it.
How'd you feel?
Speaker 2 (43:23):
I felt the I felt the warm rush of blood
through my course and through my body.
Speaker 1 (43:30):
I was just like, I mean, you know, people usually
give me like answers that are a little different than that,
but I say, I really like this choice, the large
extra extra large pizza.
Speaker 2 (43:41):
It's like, it's okay, you don't have to you don't
have to diet today, you don't have to exercise, you
get to relax. Yep, because I don't get to eat
pizza on the road because it destroys my voice. It
comes me up and gives me reflex, it burns my throat,
so like when I get home, it's kind of a thing.
(44:02):
And I waited and I was like, you know what,
maybe not this time. Maybe maybe I'm going to have
better habits when I go home. And then a couple
of days went by and I was like, I'm gonna
get that pizza.
Speaker 3 (44:11):
Now.
Speaker 1 (44:13):
It's all in moderation, and you know what, if it
feels good, do it. But it's all moderation. But I
love that. It sounds like you are more in touch
with like how to take care of yourself and just
you know, in those those dark times, you get stronger
and stronger how to take care of you, you know,
And I think I'm just happy to see you on
(44:35):
that journey and on that right path because you're so
so talented.
Speaker 3 (44:40):
Thank you so much. I'm so excited about writing again.
Speaker 1 (44:43):
Yeah, waiting, we'll be listening. Yeah, everybody, you've got to
check out Future Islands. Take it from me.
Speaker 3 (44:51):
Thank you, Jinny, I really appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (44:56):
Samuel is so interesting. I have been such a huge
fan of his music, so that was so great to
get to know him on a more personal level. And
I hope if you didn't know about his band Future
Islands before this, you will go check them out now.
The music is transformational as we continue to choose ourselves
each week, I want to challenge you this week to
(45:18):
consider something. Should you be getting expert help or guidance.
We talked about this with Samuel his choice to get
into therapy in the world of difference that it has
made for him, and therapy isn't just for people that
have experienced major trauma. Maybe you're struggling with your work
life balance, or maybe you want to learn to set
(45:41):
better boundaries I don't know. Give it some thought this week,
and I just want to encourage you to think about it,
to seek expert help. If you are feeling unsettled in
any area of your life. This is your gentle reminder
to choose you. Thanks for listening to I Choose Me,
and check out all our social links in our show notes,
(46:02):
rate and review, and give us some messages of love.
Use the hashtag I Choose Me. I will be here
next week. I hope you choose to be here too,
Host
Jennie Garth
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