September 10, 2024 • 49 mins
This week, Tommy is joined by actress Lindsey Morgan who shot into international superstardom by playing the beloved role of Raven Reyes in the post-apocalyptic smash-hit television series, The 100, which ran for an incredible 7 seasons. The internet crowns The 100 as one of “the greatest TV shows of all time,” and for good reason. While she has played many impressive roles in films and television, another fan-favorite role you may recognize Lindsey from is the CW hit series, Walker, which she starred in opposite Jared Padalecki. Today, Lindsey opens up about what it was like jumping from one of the most successful soap operas to a primetime television series, navigating through the exploding world of social media when The 100 started airing, if she thinks about her time playing Raven often, what she loved about her time on the show, if she would reprise her character again in a reboot or spin-off, how you can’t go through life always seeking the approval of others, the importance of putting your mental health first even if it means making an incredibly difficult decision, how she got to a point in her life where she really wanted to be seen, and reveals for the very first time why she left her starring role in Walker after the second season.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, guys, welcome to I've never said this before with
me Tommy de Dario. Today's guest is the brilliantly talented
actress Lindsay Morgan. Lindsay shot into international superstard and by
playing the beloved role of Raven in the hate post
apocalyptic sci fi drama The Hundred, which went on for
(00:20):
an incredible seven seasons. So here's a quick summary of
The Hundred. Follow me here. Ever since a devastating nuclear war,
humanity has lived on spaceships far above the Earth's radioactive surface,
and now one hundred juvenile delinquents considered expendable by society
are being sent on a dangerous mission, and that mission
(00:41):
is to recolonize the planet. Did you get all that?
Lindsay is so badass in this series? And while she's
played many impressive film and TV roles, another fan favorite
one you may recognize her from is the CW hit
series Walker. So when I was chatting with my buddy
Jerre Padleki, who was her co star on Walker, her
and who came on my show a few months ago,
(01:02):
he said that Lindsay is a total sweetheart, and after
chatting with her, I couldn't agree more. So, let's see
if today we can get Lindsay to say something that
she has never said before. Lindsey Morgan, it is so
good to see you today.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
How are you?
Speaker 3 (01:22):
I'm great? How are you?
Speaker 1 (01:24):
I am fantastic. Listen, we have a few mutual friends,
so ahead of time, I was like, all right, give
me the tea. Is she cool? Like what is she like?
And everyone said like glowing things about you? So I
feel like we're you. I'm in a good place.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
I got a ten out of ten, ten.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
Out of ten, maybe even on eleven out of ten.
Speaker 4 (01:44):
Don't tell my husband I'm in eleven.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
That's right, That's all right. Well, I'm so happy to
be hanging out with you today. Thank you for joining
the show.
Speaker 3 (01:56):
Me too, Me too happy to be here, Tommy.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
This is a show that celebrates it's a lot of
fan favorite artists. And I have to say, you were
someone who has come up quite a bit to be
on the show because you've been a part of work
that means so much to so many people. And it's
really cool when I see in my dms and in
my tweets, like the names that keep reoccurring you being
one of them. So We're going to celebrate your work
(02:19):
here a little bit more about you as a person,
and maybe find out something new.
Speaker 3 (02:23):
Thank you.
Speaker 4 (02:24):
I really love it here, John, and all these I'm
like overwhelmed from all these compliments.
Speaker 3 (02:31):
But thank you.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
I'm just here to compliment you for half an hour.
We're not going to really talk about anything. I'm just
going to compliment you.
Speaker 3 (02:37):
And I will respond awkwardly and a little flustered. But
thank you so much. That's so sweet and yeah, amazing,
thank you.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
So you You had such an amazing career. And I
always like to stress this to artists because I think
sometimes when you're in the grind, you don't always realize that, right,
because as humans, we always want more, we always want
to do more. We're always pushing ourselves for what's next.
But you got essentially your big break on one of
the biggest soaps in the world, General Hospital, and then
from that, you know, with a few jobs in between,
(03:07):
you then landed this huge role on primetime television in
the Hundred, which went on for seven seasons. So what
was that transition like for you, jumping from the soap
world to the primetime world.
Speaker 4 (03:17):
That was crazy, you know, I was so Green when
I was doing the soap, and even when I got
the soap, you know, it was like I think I
had been acting professionally for maybe around eight months and
then like I didn't I have this like terrible manager
(03:38):
and agent at the time. And I remember it was
pilot season and my acting coach was asking me, like,
you know, why aren't you going out for pilots and
I said, oh, well, my manager told me I wasn't
good enough what verbatim. Then he was like, okay, fire,
your manager hooks me up with some man in your
(04:00):
meetings in La I meet my current manager, Tim Taylor
from Luba Rockland. He had one meeting and he was like, look,
you're great. I'd love to work with you. I got
such a good feeling about him, and I said okay.
Within one month, I book a contract role on the
soap opera, which was like crazy for a young actor
(04:22):
because I think a lot of actors or a lot
of artists, well, yeah, we we are artists, right, and
we want to do the art. But then there's that
other side of financial freedom and also being able to
provide for ourselves, and so you know, the statistics for
actors are crazy it's like three percent are working at
(04:44):
any given moment.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
Which is bonkers.
Speaker 4 (04:48):
So to get a contract role for a soap opera
is basically like a series regular role, so I would
be on contract indefinitely or like main cast, you know.
Speaker 3 (04:58):
What I mean.
Speaker 4 (04:58):
So this role not only was it like a huge
role for me just as a new actor and like
super green, but also the ability to be able to
take care of myself financially as a young woman and
a young artist was like mind blowing. So my time
on the soap was.
Speaker 3 (05:21):
Was great in the sense of like I got such.
Speaker 4 (05:24):
A boot camp sort of learning because you are filming
almost every day and you don't have a hiatus. You
have one week off every month, but you film the
entire year versus most shows it's like we're on for
six months, we're on for nine months, and then you
have like a break break.
Speaker 3 (05:44):
So just the act of like repetition.
Speaker 4 (05:47):
Doing and doing and doing it, I feel like, really
is where I really learned a lot. But also, you know,
I failed a lot, Like when I watch some of
my old clips, I'm like, you know, And I also
kind of played a villain, which I didn't know I
(06:08):
was a villain. When I was playing the character.
Speaker 3 (06:11):
And not to say she's a bad character or anything,
but she she's a lovely character.
Speaker 4 (06:16):
It's just that she added conflict to a lot of
people's lives. Right, So I dealt with like internet hate,
which was really hard for again, young actor, young artists,
just a young person. I was like, wait, I'm doing
my dream and I got my you know, my big break,
(06:38):
and you guys hate me. So that was tough in
the sense of like I had to really separate myself
from like do they hate me, do they hate the character?
Do they hate my acting? And I had to separate
myself from all of it to be like, you know
what I always think about, like that great speech by Roosevelt,
(07:03):
the man in the Arena, and I'm going to butcher it,
but basically it's all about the courageous and most bravest
person is the man in the arena. You can have
the audience and critics watching and they can say whatever
they want, but they're not in the arena fighting. They're
not the gladiator fighting and trying. So you know, I
(07:25):
really had to learn that lesson that no matter what
anyone thinks of my art or what I do, I
have to do it for me, and if I'm doing
it for other people's approval or other people's like acknowledgment,
then I'm in trouble, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
Yeah, Yeah, And that's a good mentality to take then
with you to primetime, which the show correct me if
I'm wrong, but I believe it was one of the
first primetime shows that really kind of utilized Twitter and
social media because it was really blowing up to promote
the show and to engage with the fans, so you
had to deal with that too. Then going over there.
Speaker 4 (08:04):
That was crazy too, because again, you know, it's kind
of crazy too, because it's.
Speaker 3 (08:09):
Like we forget how new social media is.
Speaker 4 (08:13):
Like I know, we've had it for maybe I don't know,
fourteen fifteen years, but that's not a long time, right, So,
like there was a time when you would watch shows
and you couldn't go on Twitter to talk about how
you feel, or you wouldn't you as an actor, or
you as a creator, or even at a studio head
have no clue how people are receiving it.
Speaker 3 (08:34):
So I always talk about how kind of magical that.
Speaker 4 (08:38):
First season was because that was before we really had
social media and before the show debuted or aired, and
it was like nobody knew what we were making.
Speaker 3 (08:51):
We were just like in the woods. It felt like
we were camping every day and just kind of figuring
it out right.
Speaker 4 (09:01):
And then when we wrapped, I believe right when before
we wrapped, the network head and show producer or showrunner
was like, I want the cast and crew to see
the first four episodes. And usually that's that doesn't always happen.
You don't always get to see anything. And so we
all went to this like theater they had rented out
(09:23):
in Vancouver and watched it and by the fourth episode
we all left and we all were like looking at
each other being like I think we have something special,
you know what I mean? You just had that feeling
like it just came alive and like everyone was so
good and it just clicked.
Speaker 3 (09:43):
So that was really cool.
Speaker 4 (09:45):
And then we debut and then it's like social media
really responded. And again as an artist, it's kind of
I had my toes dipped in that area with the
so with like social media, but like in a negative way.
So then to have like an overwhelming positive response, I
(10:08):
was like, what this is crazy, And you know, I
felt so grateful, but it wasn't the other way. But
also it was really strange and surreal as an artist
to get like instant feedback.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
That's great, but it also is scary, and it was
such unchartered territory. And there's probably some people listening who
only kind of know the context of television and film
with the correlation to social media, but that was such
a new and different thing to have to I don't
know if the word worry is the right word, but
like to have to think about that on top of
(10:44):
doing your job is so wild. I mean, it's I think.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
Worries is the right word.
Speaker 4 (10:49):
I think a lot of people began to worry about
how they would be perceived or what would be perceived,
you know.
Speaker 3 (10:57):
And as an artist, I.
Speaker 4 (11:01):
Think, again, you can't be doing what you do for
the approval of others, you know. And it's just like
we are in a bubble where it's like, yeah, on
one hand, you want people.
Speaker 3 (11:15):
To like what you do. You want people to like
your work.
Speaker 4 (11:18):
You want to be able to pay your bills and
feed yourself and you know, have a life and whatnot.
But also and that's like kind of the gamble though
with artistry. If you're being true to your artist. You
just don't know, and I feel like you can't now
(11:39):
now in my old age, again, feel like you can't
base it on that. And that's like my personal preference,
like everything I do, because I've done things for other
people's approval and it's just I've noticed it's not true
to me, and so I have to personally do things.
Speaker 3 (11:59):
That's where for me.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
Now we've just started talking and I couldn't love you more.
I feel like there's eight thousand things I want to say,
and I'm trying to streamline this conversation, but I so
feel you on that, and it's just so funny. A
quick aside, like this very young reporter reached out or Will.
He posted something on in Instagram that kind of made
me worried, and it just he was having a bad
day and he seemed like he was in a pretty
(12:20):
dark space. So I reached out and I said, are
you okay, like what's going on? And he said, oh
my god, I just I feel like my dreams are
escaping me and I have such bad days and you know,
it's just so hard this industry. And I said, guess
what I said, I have really bad fucking days too,
And he's like, how you're on a national television show,
you have this podcast with iHeart, Like I didn't think
(12:41):
you really would. And I said, oh my god, there's
some days where I just feel like what am I doing?
Like I'm tired of the grind? And he was like,
you have no idea how much that helps me to
hear that, because hey, I don't think a lot of
people would admit that maybe in your position and be
like it makes me feel like, oh, it's all part
of it. So yes to everything you're saying.
Speaker 3 (13:00):
Yes, And I hear you on that too, right, It's
just so.
Speaker 4 (13:05):
So interesting, Like people in these very public fields are
people you know who are very in the public eye,
like yourself.
Speaker 3 (13:13):
You know, there is a certain level of like one.
Speaker 4 (13:17):
Professionalism you want to always bring and you have your
own standards and you know who you are as a
creator and an artist is like, yeah, I'm doing this
and this is me.
Speaker 3 (13:27):
But it doesn't mean it's easy.
Speaker 4 (13:30):
You know, just because you're successful, nobody saw all those
days when you weren't, because we both have.
Speaker 3 (13:37):
Them, you know what I mean. And like when I
was on the SAP and I was dealing with that
Internet hate. That really was hard for me. That was
really that was a struggle of being like these people
hate me and.
Speaker 4 (13:49):
I have to show up and do this every day
and they hate me and there's nothing I can do,
you know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (13:57):
And it was like super tough.
Speaker 4 (14:00):
And I didn't talk about this earlier, but essentially this
this soap went through like a reconfiguration where like a
lot of cast members were lieving or changing positions, and
so my contract was up for renegotiation and I was struggling.
I was struggling mentally. I think the Internet hate was
(14:22):
a lot of it. I felt like I wasn't doing
a good job. I also hadn't learned enough technique as
an artist to Okay, I have to deliver these emotions,
but I have to protect my true life from it
and not it filtered through. And so I was, you know,
(14:42):
with soaps, something bad is happening constantly, like it is crazy,
and so I was really crying every day and so
I really slipped into this like depression where I was
like everyone hates me, Like I was just I was
so young, right, so I can laugh at it now,
(15:02):
but like looking back, it was I was a mess.
Speaker 3 (15:05):
And so you know, I was talking to I told
my manager. I was like, could I I'm really struggling,
Like can I switch to a recurring which is kind
of like a lighter contract because going every day was
really wearing on me.
Speaker 4 (15:20):
And I also was like, clearly, as people don't like
my acting, so maybe I need to like go back
into class. And you know, I was so new, so
I was like, yeah, I need to get educated more. Anyway,
So manager brings that up to the producer and they
talk about it, and then ultimately they were like, you
know what, We're just gonna let Lindsay go. And I
(15:40):
was like, young Lindsay was like, am I getting fired?
Speaker 3 (15:45):
I always got fired and was like what do I
do now?
Speaker 4 (15:50):
Like, you know, this was my financial everything, This was
me making my dreams come true.
Speaker 3 (15:57):
This was me.
Speaker 4 (15:59):
I had dropped out a to pursue acting, and like
my parents did not approve, hated it. I also had
like scholarships too, and I foregone or let them go
so I could pursue acting. So I was just like
everything I have sacrificed to be here and I get
to what I felt was my goal was like acting
(16:19):
and being able to provide for myself gone like gone,
you know what I mean, Like it just felt all
for nothing because I felt like I wasn't good enough.
And so there was a period where I got really
you know, dark with myself, and I was just like,
maybe I'm not cut out for this, Maybe this isn't it.
And you know, I really like how to sit and
(16:43):
talk with myself and be like, you know what, fuck that,
I'm not done yet, you know what I mean. And
so I got back into class. I hired a personal
trainer because I gained some weight in my sadness.
Speaker 3 (16:56):
So I was like, you know what, I'm.
Speaker 4 (16:59):
Gonna put my nose to the grind and I'm going
to I'm going to grind. And I was taking like
maybe three four classes a week. I was acting every
day for like five hours a day, like in rehearsals
like boom boom, boom boom.
Speaker 3 (17:14):
You know. Maybe three months later, I think a book
one hundred.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
First of all, thank god, because what you created in
the hundred with your role is is so iconic. You
of course played a badass mechanical engineer. Her name was Raven.
Do you think about that time often?
Speaker 4 (17:38):
Yeah, it's like it was, oh gosh, it's so crazy
too now because I'm always like, wait, it just happened,
and I'm like, no.
Speaker 3 (17:45):
It's been years.
Speaker 4 (17:47):
And you know what surprises me is the people who
found it. Like I get all walks of life coming
up to me and saying like, hey, I really.
Speaker 3 (17:57):
Loved your show or I really loved your character.
Speaker 4 (18:00):
Now, even like there was like a period where it,
you know, it wasn't happening as much. And I was like, okay,
I think the show got off Netflix, like it wasn't
on there anymore. And I'm like, Okay, people aren't really
seeing it anymore.
Speaker 3 (18:10):
That's fine. And then my friend twelve year old.
Speaker 4 (18:14):
Daughter was like, oh my god, you're raving, like at
dinner the other week, and I was like, what, how
have you seen this show?
Speaker 3 (18:23):
And so, you know, I guess maybe it's kind of
coming back. And she was like everyone at my school's
seen it. And I was like, that's so crazy.
Speaker 4 (18:31):
How you know, when you make something, especially now in
this digital age, it is kind of a time capsule
and anyone can find it at any point, and like,
I'm going to be eighty five, god willing one day
and somebody's going to be like, remember this Grandma, you know.
Speaker 5 (18:47):
What I mean, that's gonna be that's gonna be really
rad you know, Like it's so crazy because that was
my twenties and so now to have like my twenties
encapsulated in film is kind of wild to think.
Speaker 4 (19:05):
Yeah, it was a special show, and I think, you know,
I learned so much from it. It grew so much
during it highs and lows. I think we've all everyone
part of it had such an interesting and really impactful experience.
Speaker 3 (19:20):
I think people who watched it, I think it was.
Speaker 4 (19:24):
Ahead of its time and it was presenting a lot
and also like it was a really ambitious show, like
very creative for what it was doing and for the
audience it was apparently for you know, it really pushed
a lot of boundaries and broke a lot of rules.
And you know, I also think it was a big
(19:44):
part of this kind of female empowerment that we see
now in film and TV. And I remember, you know,
like Hunger Games just came out right before We came
out right, and it's like we were on that wave,
and I well, it's so lucky that I got to
be a part of it, and I got to play
(20:04):
character that I respect like just as a person and
also as a young woman. You know, Raven was so
impactful on me, and I think at that age and
through that age for myself, I needed strength and Raven
really taught me how to harness it and find it
(20:25):
for myself. So yeah, it was it was a journey.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
It's also so successful today because it was such this
viral sensation and there were clips all over the internet
and people I think today are still seeing clips before
maybe watching the series and then going to find the
series in twenty twenty four, right, So it's so amazing
the legacy that it's created, and that's largely due to yes,
amazing writing, but the artists who brought that show to life.
In this age of reboots and sequels and remakes, Like
(20:56):
do you ever think what if, Like could I do
another version of The Hundred reboot?
Speaker 3 (21:03):
Oh my gosh, I'd be game, I.
Speaker 4 (21:06):
Think, you know, I think the coolest thing about The
Hundred is it had so much life to it and
world in different worlds and different characters. So it's like
I always I still feel like there's so much story
to tell in you know, we could have gone on
(21:27):
for a long time because everyone created such rich worlds
and rich characters and just a rich lore, like a
rich story of like the minute you think they're all
done and alone and left for dead, like another clan
of people around, you're just like what a wormhole opens
(21:49):
up a portal, you know what I mean? We meet
aliens like it's just like it can go, you know.
I think that was one of the best things about
the show, and probably one of the hardest things to
pull off.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
Was it weird for you to hang up your raven
hat when it was all set and down. I mean,
something years is a long time to be a part
of something, especially in this day and age where it's
like a mini series or maybe three seasons seven years
of your life.
Speaker 5 (22:15):
You know.
Speaker 3 (22:15):
It's it's also interesting.
Speaker 4 (22:17):
I think what helped us is we did thirteen episodes
versus like a twenty two from another like kind of
the older method of shows now, which is wild that
we're not doing that anymore. As creative as the show
was right and amazing as the show was, it was
kind of dark like we had, like especially my character,
I had darkness I had to go through. And the
(22:39):
elements were tough too, you know. We filmed a lot
in the snow. We filmed a lot in the rain,
a lot outside because of the world written, and that's
just tough on everyone. That's tough on the crew, that's
tough on actors, that's tough on the artists who create
the sets, who create costumes. Like it's just like, please
(23:00):
don't rain, and then it's pouring rain. So, you know,
I think it was good. We would always have six
months off in between to kind of reset and and
so we're fresh. You know, when you're shooting, it's almost
kind of like your a professional athlete where it's like
you have to not get sick like ever, which is
(23:21):
really hard. You can't always control it, but like it's
something in your back of your mind where you're like,
I need to be healthy so I can deliver and
I can perform, And I am an athlete at this
point that is on in season for this amount of time,
So we needed the breaks to not burn everyone out.
(23:43):
But also, I don't know, I always felt like thirteen
was such a sweet spot. It was such a great
spot for us because we really got to push hard,
and sometimes I felt like we went a little too fast,
like we could have slowed down a little bit. And
this story would have still been impactful and great and
you had some time to breathe. But I remember when
(24:05):
we'd be rapping in Vancouver, so many other shows were
still they were still.
Speaker 3 (24:10):
Shooting and they were doing twenty two.
Speaker 4 (24:11):
So technically we were like, they're middle when we were finishing,
and they were just like, oh my gosh, we still
have halfway through to go, and you guys are rapping.
But I think that was smart because it didn't it
was longer than a mini series, you know, so it
felt like fulfilling as an audience member, I felt, but
it wasn't too long to where everyone's getting burnt out,
(24:34):
everyone's cranky and tired, or were completely running out of story.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
And I think to your point, you know, filming in
Brain and Snow and the Elements and all of that,
if a reboot does ever happen, let's do it in
like Malibu or something Hawaii.
Speaker 4 (24:50):
I pitched Hawaii one time because I was like, I
don't know, it's like Becca's because they were doing like.
Speaker 3 (24:56):
Some flashback or something.
Speaker 4 (24:58):
They're kind of like like Becca's capsule is going to
come to like the coaster, and I was like, can there's.
Speaker 3 (25:02):
Be a white Yeah?
Speaker 4 (25:06):
So that's my pitch for the reboot is like, maybe
we're in heaven and it's Hawaii.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
I'm here for it. I'm here for it, and I'll
be like, I'm volunteering to be like a pool boy
with a drink and an umbrella in it, and there
I am.
Speaker 2 (25:18):
We need more pool boys, always, more pool boys in life, Lindsay,
you also were a part of another project I want
to bring up, and that's Walker, and people loved Walker
so much.
Speaker 1 (25:30):
I know the series recently wrapped for good and Jerry's
been on my show and we talked about Walker. But
what I want to talk about is something kind of
that you were talking about earlier as well. So after
the second season you exited the show, right, was that
a difficult decision for you to make? And if you
don't mind me asking and sharing, like what was behind that?
Speaker 3 (25:51):
That was the hardest decision I've ever made, hands down.
Speaker 4 (25:54):
You know, you go back to like, I think people
forget what it's like to be an artist in the
sense of you're a freelancer, Like I don't have any
job security. I work from job to job and what
I offer is a creative service, so I don't have
(26:17):
any guarantee that someone's going to hire me ever, or
that everyone's going to like what I do, because that's impossible.
Speaker 3 (26:23):
I'm an artist.
Speaker 4 (26:24):
Everyone is free to have their opinion of art, right,
and I think that's great. We have great different kinds
of art because of that.
Speaker 3 (26:32):
So it's wonderful.
Speaker 4 (26:33):
It's just sometimes it's difficult as the artist pursuing this
as a career and in this industry, because again, you
need to be able to provide for yourself a home,
maybe a family. We all got bills, right, So for me.
Speaker 3 (26:51):
Me getting Walker was a huge deal to me.
Speaker 4 (26:56):
You know, up to this point, I I was really
proud of the work I did on one hundred right,
but I wasn't a lead. I wasn't a lead character.
I was a supporting character. And in that sense, you know,
I didn't work as much as the leads did, and
I wasn't as front and center.
Speaker 3 (27:14):
As they were.
Speaker 4 (27:15):
Right I could, I got more rest, I got, I
got to do cool stuff, but I didn't. It wasn't
on my shoulders to fully carry the story. So up
until this point, I have been manifesting and being like,
I really just want to be a lead. I want
to like get that promotion in my journey, in my
career journey, right, So when Walker came, it was like
(27:37):
I'm the lead, which or like the lead female, which
is like that was my dream come true. You know,
I was making the kind of money that I could
buy a house and have a home, And that was
a huge deal for me because there was a period
when in my other journey where I was kind of
I was kind of home, like I didn't have a
(27:59):
home for a long time.
Speaker 3 (28:00):
I was just like kind of being a gypsy.
Speaker 4 (28:03):
So for me to buy my own home was like
a big goal of mine and like very important to me.
Speaker 3 (28:09):
So all of a sudden, it was like all these.
Speaker 4 (28:13):
Amazing things given to me, and I bought a house
here in Austin, thinking hoping the show would go on
for a long time. And because you never know either,
we're always every show could be canceled, so you just
don't know. So when you're on location filming, you usually
rent something, right, Like I never knew about the Hundreds,
(28:35):
so I rented a place to live every seven years.
So when Walker came along, me deciding to buy a
home here in Austin was another gamble, Like I don't
know if I'm if it's gonna last, but I'm gonna
make the move and do it and.
Speaker 3 (28:52):
Kind of fulfill this big goal of mine.
Speaker 4 (28:55):
So while we were working, and maybe you know, if
I'm being honest, I think I knew something was up
in the sense of like I didn't feel my best.
And so what it happened to was we just wrapped
A hundred around February twenty twenty. Okay Walker was supposed
(29:19):
to start filming April twenty twenty, so I was like,
maybe gonna get a month off go into filming just
the pilot, and then the pilot was set to series,
so maybe we'd start fully.
Speaker 3 (29:33):
Like August or something.
Speaker 4 (29:35):
And so before this, I hadn't really had a I
hadn't had a break. I worked seven years on a show,
and of course we did six months on six months off,
but during my six months off, I always did a
movie during my hiatus, and then I would do conventions too,
So it's like I was pretty packed my schedule for
the last seven years. And prior to that, I'd been
(29:55):
on the soap for almost two years, and so I
had worked really consistently up into this point of like
almost nine years without an actual break break again. For actors,
for artists, it's assumed there'll be down time because it's
hard to get a job, right, So it's like when
(30:17):
people are trying to get a job, that's their downtime.
I was really blessed and lucky that I started working.
I didn't stop, But looking back, I realized my mistake
in the sense of like an athlete, I was working, working, outputting, outputting, outputting,
but I wasn't recovering. So I started having like problems
(30:41):
around the last season of the hundred, like my skin
started breaking out really bad, which was bizarre to me
because that's never happened.
Speaker 3 (30:48):
So it's like all these.
Speaker 4 (30:50):
Weird things kept happening, which to me, I've realized where
triggers are like alarms because I'm a really hard worker,
Like nope, doesn't bother me, Like I'm not going to
I'm not going to admit weakness. I'm going to push
through a quality in myself I really admired for a
(31:11):
long time. But now to come to realize was a
little naive and like, you know, sure, I think it's
important to be strong or like push yourself and challenge yourself,
but it's ignorant of you to ignore alarm bells, things
(31:32):
in your body telling you, hey, something's going on.
Speaker 3 (31:35):
Right, So again I was like, I'm going to push through.
So we start filming. Everything's great, everyone's great. I'm from Texas,
so I'm back home.
Speaker 4 (31:46):
Actually, like get to see my mom, which I haven't
really besides holidays, haven't really spent time with like or
at sea since like over a decade.
Speaker 3 (31:54):
So all these like amazing things.
Speaker 4 (31:56):
All my dreams are coming true. And I was a mess,
Like me personally was not in a good place. My
anxiety was through the roof.
Speaker 3 (32:08):
My skin was thank God for like photoshop retouching, because
it was a disaster. You know. I was so.
Speaker 4 (32:19):
Embarrassed and like ashamed, you know what I mean, because
like I didn't know what I was doing wrong.
Speaker 3 (32:27):
And I was like, I'm doing all the things I've seen,
all the doctors, I've tried some medications, and this is
still happening. And again, this is like my alarm bells, right,
it keeps going forward, and.
Speaker 4 (32:45):
I just I feel like I did not do good work,
and I feel like, looking back on it now, it
was because I was so stressed out in my body
and mentally and physically and I was just a mess
and I couldn't.
Speaker 3 (33:02):
Figure out why.
Speaker 4 (33:03):
So I was like, I have all this responsibility now
on my shoulders, right, like I'm a lead, and like
the show's success is on my shoulders. And I felt
like I was failing everyone in myself too, And that
was really hard for me because I really hold myself
to a certain standard of like, you know, I'm here
(33:24):
to do my best work.
Speaker 3 (33:25):
I'm here to deliver.
Speaker 4 (33:27):
I want to like, if I commit to something, I'm
all in one hundred percent.
Speaker 3 (33:33):
And I always just felt like I was failing anyways.
So I'm fast forward.
Speaker 4 (33:39):
I start really looking into my health because I'm like,
something's not right. I start getting some like autoimmune numbers
on my tests, and I'm like, this is crazy because
no one in my family has autoimmune issues. This isn't genetic.
I'm a very healthy person, Like I'm active, I you know,
(34:03):
eat very healthy.
Speaker 3 (34:04):
I have my supplements.
Speaker 4 (34:05):
I've always been that person who, you know, was this
kind of picturesque of health.
Speaker 3 (34:11):
There's one point when I was taking like fifty.
Speaker 4 (34:15):
Vitamins a day, like supplements a day, because my body
wasn't processing anything, like wasn't getting the nutrients or help
that I needed in my body, and so like my
body was like shutting down and that was adding to
my anxiety because I didn't know what to do.
Speaker 3 (34:33):
So when I decided to.
Speaker 4 (34:37):
Leave, it was really set up to me in this
kind of simple way where the doctors I was seeing
at the time were like, you know, you have two choices.
One we put you on some medications that you may
have to stay on for life or like a long
period of time and will be difficult to get off.
(34:57):
Or you completely change your lifestyle and that includes no stress.
And when you're leading a TV show, you know you're
working sixteen hours a.
Speaker 3 (35:09):
Day, four to five days a week. And we were.
Speaker 4 (35:12):
Shooting twenty two episodes at a time that was nine
months straight. In between season one and season two, we
maybe had a six week break.
Speaker 3 (35:20):
So this was like I was in marathon mode, you know.
Speaker 4 (35:24):
And I always tell Jared he's a marathon man, and
not just like in like in the actual real sense,
but also in the metaphorical sense. I really have always
admired him because that man can just film and film
and film and run and run and run, and his
capacity for work is just where's work ethic is insane.
Speaker 3 (35:46):
And so you know, I was like, I also have.
Speaker 4 (35:50):
A very similar one, and I was like, what's going
with me? And then I found out I was having
these issues. Anyways, I decided to leave the show, and
I really I was a hard decision I've ever made
because I worked so hard to get there.
Speaker 6 (36:05):
Yeah, that was my dream, and then I have to
leave and give it up, and then I had to
deal with.
Speaker 3 (36:19):
The repercussions of what that meant, and that was hard.
That was almost harder for me because it was like
dealing with.
Speaker 4 (36:31):
Not only was I dealing with my health journey, which
was really scary because I was like, Okay, I need
to figure this out and I need to do something
about it.
Speaker 3 (36:38):
Right, but also it was like.
Speaker 4 (36:42):
I felt like I failed, and that was hard for
me because I, like I said, I'm somebody that really
pushes themselves and has really high standards and I never
want to let anyone around me down, you know what
I mean. So like I felt a little bit like
I let Jared down or let the show down, and
(37:05):
that was the hardest part for me because it still
makes me emotional, which I know is silly, because I
was doing what I needed to do to take care
of myself and that's more important.
Speaker 3 (37:15):
But I'm definitely a person.
Speaker 4 (37:16):
That always I don't know, not that I put people
in before myself, but I really care about Like if
I made a commitment to you, I mean it.
Speaker 3 (37:27):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 7 (37:28):
So that was hard for me, right, But that was
a really great lesson that like life happens, and we
have to make decisions that are the best for us,
even if that means disappointing other people.
Speaker 4 (37:45):
And that's scary, right because you know, you don't want
to hurt someone or you don't want to disappoint someone,
But you are the most important person in your life.
And that could be loved ones, that could be family,
that could be romantic partners, could you coworkers, And it
really is up to you to be your own advocate.
Speaker 3 (38:07):
Right.
Speaker 4 (38:08):
That was what I learned, And so that period in
my life changed my life. Like I'm a different person
now because I did that, and a better person.
Speaker 3 (38:23):
You know, not only Anyways, my health thing was crazy.
Speaker 4 (38:26):
I ended up finding out I had a spinal injury
which was affecting my nervous system and like my brainstem.
Speaker 3 (38:33):
So it was when I say it was crazy, it
was crazy.
Speaker 1 (38:37):
That's a lot to go And first of all, thank
you for telling me that entire story, because I don't
know if you've shared that before.
Speaker 3 (38:42):
I don't think I have, I really and I think
I couldn't.
Speaker 1 (38:46):
Yeah, it had to be when you were ready, you know.
And I think that it's so hard sometimes to put
yourself first, and thank god you did because you were
able to get the help you needed. And I mean,
a spinal injury is no joke. And then to have,
you know, maybe as as a side effect of that,
which seems like somewhat crippling anxiety that you had to
(39:07):
also deal with. I mean, it's a lot on your plate.
And I'm so happy you knew I need to put
me first because there'll be no jobs forever if I'm
not here to do that, you know.
Speaker 4 (39:19):
And that's what I learned. I was like, your health is.
Everyone's health is their number one priority. And you know,
this life and this industry we're in can make you
feel like well no, no, no work is, and this job
is and making your dreams come true is on this
pedestal and that's the you give everything to that.
Speaker 3 (39:42):
You know what I mean. And it's like, no.
Speaker 4 (39:47):
People want to tell you too, And people want to,
especially people who are benefiting from you, want to tell
you to do that. But the people who really care
about you, and the people who really like care about
you and your wellness, you.
Speaker 3 (40:00):
Know, they support you. Like I look at like Simon Biles.
Speaker 4 (40:04):
The gymnasts, like when she left, like the country was
mad at her, Like I was so appalled. I was like,
you guys are classless to think this has anything to
do with you, and to not support this woman who
has the bravery to stand in front of the country
(40:25):
and tell them I need a moment or I'm done.
She did not owe us to come back. And then
she did, and she crushed it even more. And so
I you know, when I was looking back at my stuff,
I was I'm not Simon, but where I am now,
(40:46):
in my body and my heart and my spirituality, in
my wellness and even in my craft, like in my
work and in my acting, far surpasses where I was.
And I'm so grateful for that, because I don't know
if I would have gotten to hear if I didn't
go through that. And I feel like, you're right, I
(41:09):
haven't really shared this with them. Maybe this is what
was my share I haven't really ever shared this because
I wasn't ready and also because I hadn't had enough
time to really process and understand and evaluate my journey,
my story, and also.
Speaker 3 (41:30):
Let go of the fear. There was a lot of fear.
I didn't tell a lot of people why I left
because I was afraid they judged me.
Speaker 4 (41:38):
I was afraid it could hurt me, Like you know,
you have to be insured for projects, and like if
I was a liability, I was afraid about that. I
was afraid people would think I was weak, I know,
very dumb, but like.
Speaker 3 (41:52):
Not dumb, but like you know what I mean. Those
are the fears, right.
Speaker 4 (41:55):
And so I was like, I'm not I got to
just take care of me. But now I'm looking at
this and just like what we were saying in the
beginning is like, well this is part of my story, right,
and like there's a lot of it people don't see
and don't know.
Speaker 3 (42:13):
But if there's somebody out.
Speaker 4 (42:14):
There who wants to do what I do, or is
inspired to do what I do, or just like your
reporter who reached out to you.
Speaker 3 (42:23):
It is important they know.
Speaker 4 (42:24):
And I look at people i'm inspired by, you know,
like Simone and It's like this is such a huge
part of I don't even know, like humanity, Like this
is storytelling, right, Like I'm telling you my story and
hopes that maybe it helps anyone out there who's struggling,
because I was that I was struggling at one point, right, And.
Speaker 3 (42:48):
So Simone's story helped me, you know what I'm saying.
You telling that reporter like that helped.
Speaker 1 (42:55):
That, you know what, even saying like it's so important.
We don't as a society share enough. And it's so
wild to me because when you were sharing what you
went through and what you know led to that decision
to leave Walker, It's like I could almost feel what
you were going through. It's like it's the strangest thing
to me, and I could so just understand how someone
could feel the weight of the world on their shoulders.
(43:17):
And you said something so powerful that you felt like
a failure, and we've all been there before in our lives,
and I just think it's oh, like I just wanted
to hug that Lindsay back then to let you know
that would be okay. So I honestly I so appreciate
you sharing that. I think we need more and more
stories like this out in the world. I need a second.
I'm like, I was like, you won't find me crying
over here. I'm like, I'm sweating. I'm like so emotional.
(43:39):
I'm me at the person. So I'm an Italian from Jersey,
so I'm very emotional. But that was just And I
hate saying things like this because every show is special
to me. But this conversation, seriously has been one of
the most special conversations for me because it went in
all these directions that I never could have anticipated because
it was so raw and organic and honest. And I
don't I don't even know if I should ask my
(44:00):
final question because I feel like the whole conversation has
been an answer to this question. But in you know,
in same of what I do for every single show,
I will ask it. And if you say it was
already what we talked about, great, But the name of
the show is called I've never said this before, and
I usually wrap up by asking my guest, what is
one thing that you've never said before? So the floor
(44:22):
is yours whatever comes to mind, unless you think we've
covered it well.
Speaker 4 (44:27):
I think I really nailed the assignment, so kudos for that.
Speaker 3 (44:37):
You know what It's interesting.
Speaker 4 (44:38):
I went through a big period in my life where
I didn't want to be seen anymore. I felt a
lot of failure, I felt a lot of guilt, I
felt a lot of shame, and I'm I've done a
lot of work on myself to know.
Speaker 3 (44:54):
That's not true.
Speaker 4 (44:56):
And so I'm sharing this because it it's important that
I be witnessed, you know what I'm saying, or like
you be witnessed or we are witnessed, because that's how
we heal. Right, So you know, I want to thank
you for allowing me to share into witnessing me because
(45:20):
this is in You are a major part of my healing,
and I hope everyone listening or who does listen knows
they're also a part of that. And that was a
big lesson for me that maybe I've never shared, is
that when I'm going through things that are hard, i
hide or I'll isolate. And I've learned now that that
(45:44):
is the opposite of what we need to do.
Speaker 3 (45:46):
You know.
Speaker 4 (45:47):
If anything, that's when we need more connection, We need
to reach out, We need to be really fucking honest, like, hey,
I'm struggling, Hey I'm going through this, Hey I'm having
these thoughts, you know, and like, I'm a big advocate
for therapy. I'm a big advocate for mental health, and
now in my life I'm a big advocate for truth.
(46:11):
And I'm not perfect, like not even close. And I
used to think that was a bad.
Speaker 3 (46:19):
Thing, and now I'm so proud of me in the
sense of like, I'm not perfect, and.
Speaker 4 (46:27):
I am okay and happy to be seen again. And
I think there was a while where I was really
doubting if I got back into acting, And there was
a while where I was doubting myself and didn't think.
I felt I was like washed up but didn't have
the juice anymore. And now I'm like, no, no, I
didn't want to be seen, right, And acting is so
(46:50):
much about being seen, even though if I'm being another character,
I'm playing somebody else, that's still my heart, that's still
my artistry, my soul that's coming through my.
Speaker 3 (47:00):
Body is that vessel. Right.
Speaker 4 (47:02):
Yes, I realized that I got into acting because I
wanted to be seen and I wanted to connect. And
then now in my life I'm seeing the importance of it,
not just in my career, my career pursuits, but in
my real life. You know like I need to be
(47:25):
seen as Lindsay, not as a character, and I need
to see others the same, and that to me is
our healing and also that's our growth.
Speaker 1 (47:35):
Oh yes, yes, yes, yes yes, oh Lindsay No, thank you,
I know, no, seriously, thank you. I know we met
half an hour ago, but I feel strangely proud that
you're at this point of your life as if I've
known you forever, and that you can be at a
point where you feel like you're truly seen. And this
(47:59):
is probably probably the episode where I've gotten the most
emotional myself in because I feel like this is why
I started the show.
Speaker 3 (48:05):
Right.
Speaker 1 (48:06):
Yes, I want to celebrate the work that fans love
and let's go and have fun and play, but I
also want people to come on and reveal a side
to themselves they don't often get to reveal. I mean,
you're not going to turn on your Instagram live or
your camera and just start saying this, right it's it's
a space to have a real conversation. And for me,
I'm so fulfilled that you brought your full self to
(48:28):
this today and I'm so sorry I've kept you for
like an hour and I could have kept you for
four more, but in the interest of maybe a part
two down the line, I'm gonna let you go. But honestly,
thank you for everything today because I think this conversation
is healing for me and it's gonna be healing for
a lot of people. So I just fucking adore you
(48:51):
and I'm so happy we got to meet. Not tell
me no, like besties like best eason, low key, like
I might have to leave my husband for you, sorry,
like you know, and I know you're married, but I
know you'll figure it out. We'll figure it out. But
am I gay?
Speaker 4 (49:05):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (49:06):
I'm just kidding and just kidding. Love you too, But
thank you, Thank you so much, and I adore you.
Speaker 3 (49:17):
Thank you so much. It was truly a pleasure.
Speaker 1 (49:21):
I've Never Said This Before is hosted by Me Tommy Dedario.
This podcast is executive produced by Andrew Puglisi at iHeartRadio
and by Me Tommy, with editing by Joshua Colaudney. I've
Never Said This Before is part of the Elvis Duran
podcast network on iHeart Podcasts. For more, rate review and
subscribe to our show and if you liked this episode,
(49:43):
tell your friends Until next time, I'm Tommy de Dario
Hey, guys, welcome to I've never said this before with
me Tommy de Dario. Today's guest is the brilliantly talented
actress Lindsay Morgan. Lindsay shot into international superstard and by
playing the beloved role of Raven in the hate post
apocalyptic sci fi drama The Hundred, which went on for
(00:20):
an incredible seven seasons. So here's a quick summary of
The Hundred. Follow me here. Ever since a devastating nuclear war,
humanity has lived on spaceships far above the Earth's radioactive surface,
and now one hundred juvenile delinquents considered expendable by society
are being sent on a dangerous mission, and that mission
(00:41):
is to recolonize the planet. Did you get all that?
Lindsay is so badass in this series? And while she's
played many impressive film and TV roles, another fan favorite
one you may recognize her from is the CW hit
series Walker. So when I was chatting with my buddy
Jerre Padleki, who was her co star on Walker, her
and who came on my show a few months ago,
(01:02):
he said that Lindsay is a total sweetheart, and after
chatting with her, I couldn't agree more. So, let's see
if today we can get Lindsay to say something that
she has never said before. Lindsey Morgan, it is so
good to see you today.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
How are you?
Speaker 3 (01:22):
I'm great? How are you?
Speaker 1 (01:24):
I am fantastic. Listen, we have a few mutual friends,
so ahead of time, I was like, all right, give
me the tea. Is she cool? Like what is she like?
And everyone said like glowing things about you? So I
feel like we're you. I'm in a good place.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
I got a ten out of ten, ten.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
Out of ten, maybe even on eleven out of ten.
Speaker 4 (01:44):
Don't tell my husband I'm in eleven.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
That's right, That's all right. Well, I'm so happy to
be hanging out with you today. Thank you for joining
the show.
Speaker 3 (01:56):
Me too, Me too happy to be here, Tommy.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
This is a show that celebrates it's a lot of
fan favorite artists. And I have to say, you were
someone who has come up quite a bit to be
on the show because you've been a part of work
that means so much to so many people. And it's
really cool when I see in my dms and in
my tweets, like the names that keep reoccurring you being
one of them. So We're going to celebrate your work
(02:19):
here a little bit more about you as a person,
and maybe find out something new.
Speaker 3 (02:23):
Thank you.
Speaker 4 (02:24):
I really love it here, John, and all these I'm
like overwhelmed from all these compliments.
Speaker 3 (02:31):
But thank you.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
I'm just here to compliment you for half an hour.
We're not going to really talk about anything. I'm just
going to compliment you.
Speaker 3 (02:37):
And I will respond awkwardly and a little flustered. But
thank you so much. That's so sweet and yeah, amazing,
thank you.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
So you You had such an amazing career. And I
always like to stress this to artists because I think
sometimes when you're in the grind, you don't always realize that, right,
because as humans, we always want more, we always want
to do more. We're always pushing ourselves for what's next.
But you got essentially your big break on one of
the biggest soaps in the world, General Hospital, and then
from that, you know, with a few jobs in between,
(03:07):
you then landed this huge role on primetime television in
the Hundred, which went on for seven seasons. So what
was that transition like for you, jumping from the soap
world to the primetime world.
Speaker 4 (03:17):
That was crazy, you know, I was so Green when
I was doing the soap, and even when I got
the soap, you know, it was like I think I
had been acting professionally for maybe around eight months and
then like I didn't I have this like terrible manager
(03:38):
and agent at the time. And I remember it was
pilot season and my acting coach was asking me, like,
you know, why aren't you going out for pilots and
I said, oh, well, my manager told me I wasn't
good enough what verbatim. Then he was like, okay, fire,
your manager hooks me up with some man in your
(04:00):
meetings in La I meet my current manager, Tim Taylor
from Luba Rockland. He had one meeting and he was like, look,
you're great. I'd love to work with you. I got
such a good feeling about him, and I said okay.
Within one month, I book a contract role on the
soap opera, which was like crazy for a young actor
(04:22):
because I think a lot of actors or a lot
of artists, well, yeah, we we are artists, right, and
we want to do the art. But then there's that
other side of financial freedom and also being able to
provide for ourselves, and so you know, the statistics for
actors are crazy it's like three percent are working at
(04:44):
any given moment.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
Which is bonkers.
Speaker 4 (04:48):
So to get a contract role for a soap opera
is basically like a series regular role, so I would
be on contract indefinitely or like main cast, you know.
Speaker 3 (04:58):
What I mean.
Speaker 4 (04:58):
So this role not only was it like a huge
role for me just as a new actor and like
super green, but also the ability to be able to
take care of myself financially as a young woman and
a young artist was like mind blowing. So my time
on the soap was.
Speaker 3 (05:21):
Was great in the sense of like I got such.
Speaker 4 (05:24):
A boot camp sort of learning because you are filming
almost every day and you don't have a hiatus. You
have one week off every month, but you film the
entire year versus most shows it's like we're on for
six months, we're on for nine months, and then you
have like a break break.
Speaker 3 (05:44):
So just the act of like repetition.
Speaker 4 (05:47):
Doing and doing and doing it, I feel like, really
is where I really learned a lot. But also, you know,
I failed a lot, Like when I watch some of
my old clips, I'm like, you know, And I also
kind of played a villain, which I didn't know I
(06:08):
was a villain. When I was playing the character.
Speaker 3 (06:11):
And not to say she's a bad character or anything,
but she she's a lovely character.
Speaker 4 (06:16):
It's just that she added conflict to a lot of
people's lives. Right, So I dealt with like internet hate,
which was really hard for again, young actor, young artists,
just a young person. I was like, wait, I'm doing
my dream and I got my you know, my big break,
(06:38):
and you guys hate me. So that was tough in
the sense of like I had to really separate myself
from like do they hate me, do they hate the character?
Do they hate my acting? And I had to separate
myself from all of it to be like, you know
what I always think about, like that great speech by Roosevelt,
(07:03):
the man in the Arena, and I'm going to butcher it,
but basically it's all about the courageous and most bravest
person is the man in the arena. You can have
the audience and critics watching and they can say whatever
they want, but they're not in the arena fighting. They're
not the gladiator fighting and trying. So you know, I
(07:25):
really had to learn that lesson that no matter what
anyone thinks of my art or what I do, I
have to do it for me, and if I'm doing
it for other people's approval or other people's like acknowledgment,
then I'm in trouble, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
Yeah, Yeah, And that's a good mentality to take then
with you to primetime, which the show correct me if
I'm wrong, but I believe it was one of the
first primetime shows that really kind of utilized Twitter and
social media because it was really blowing up to promote
the show and to engage with the fans, so you
had to deal with that too. Then going over there.
Speaker 4 (08:04):
That was crazy too, because again, you know, it's kind
of crazy too, because it's.
Speaker 3 (08:09):
Like we forget how new social media is.
Speaker 4 (08:13):
Like I know, we've had it for maybe I don't know,
fourteen fifteen years, but that's not a long time, right, So,
like there was a time when you would watch shows
and you couldn't go on Twitter to talk about how
you feel, or you wouldn't you as an actor, or
you as a creator, or even at a studio head
have no clue how people are receiving it.
Speaker 3 (08:34):
So I always talk about how kind of magical that.
Speaker 4 (08:38):
First season was because that was before we really had
social media and before the show debuted or aired, and
it was like nobody knew what we were making.
Speaker 3 (08:51):
We were just like in the woods. It felt like
we were camping every day and just kind of figuring
it out right.
Speaker 4 (09:01):
And then when we wrapped, I believe right when before
we wrapped, the network head and show producer or showrunner
was like, I want the cast and crew to see
the first four episodes. And usually that's that doesn't always happen.
You don't always get to see anything. And so we
all went to this like theater they had rented out
(09:23):
in Vancouver and watched it and by the fourth episode
we all left and we all were like looking at
each other being like I think we have something special,
you know what I mean? You just had that feeling
like it just came alive and like everyone was so
good and it just clicked.
Speaker 3 (09:43):
So that was really cool.
Speaker 4 (09:45):
And then we debut and then it's like social media
really responded. And again as an artist, it's kind of
I had my toes dipped in that area with the
so with like social media, but like in a negative way.
So then to have like an overwhelming positive response, I
(10:08):
was like, what this is crazy, And you know, I
felt so grateful, but it wasn't the other way. But
also it was really strange and surreal as an artist
to get like instant feedback.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
That's great, but it also is scary, and it was
such unchartered territory. And there's probably some people listening who
only kind of know the context of television and film
with the correlation to social media, but that was such
a new and different thing to have to I don't
know if the word worry is the right word, but
like to have to think about that on top of
(10:44):
doing your job is so wild. I mean, it's I think.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
Worries is the right word.
Speaker 4 (10:49):
I think a lot of people began to worry about
how they would be perceived or what would be perceived,
you know.
Speaker 3 (10:57):
And as an artist, I.
Speaker 4 (11:01):
Think, again, you can't be doing what you do for
the approval of others, you know. And it's just like
we are in a bubble where it's like, yeah, on
one hand, you want people.
Speaker 3 (11:15):
To like what you do. You want people to like
your work.
Speaker 4 (11:18):
You want to be able to pay your bills and
feed yourself and you know, have a life and whatnot.
But also and that's like kind of the gamble though
with artistry. If you're being true to your artist. You
just don't know, and I feel like you can't now
(11:39):
now in my old age, again, feel like you can't
base it on that. And that's like my personal preference,
like everything I do, because I've done things for other
people's approval and it's just I've noticed it's not true
to me, and so I have to personally do things.
Speaker 3 (11:59):
That's where for me.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
Now we've just started talking and I couldn't love you more.
I feel like there's eight thousand things I want to say,
and I'm trying to streamline this conversation, but I so
feel you on that, and it's just so funny. A
quick aside, like this very young reporter reached out or Will.
He posted something on in Instagram that kind of made
me worried, and it just he was having a bad
day and he seemed like he was in a pretty
(12:20):
dark space. So I reached out and I said, are
you okay, like what's going on? And he said, oh
my god, I just I feel like my dreams are
escaping me and I have such bad days and you know,
it's just so hard this industry. And I said, guess
what I said, I have really bad fucking days too,
And he's like, how you're on a national television show,
you have this podcast with iHeart, Like I didn't think
(12:41):
you really would. And I said, oh my god, there's
some days where I just feel like what am I doing?
Like I'm tired of the grind? And he was like,
you have no idea how much that helps me to
hear that, because hey, I don't think a lot of
people would admit that maybe in your position and be
like it makes me feel like, oh, it's all part
of it. So yes to everything you're saying.
Speaker 3 (13:00):
Yes, And I hear you on that too, right, It's
just so.
Speaker 4 (13:05):
So interesting, Like people in these very public fields are
people you know who are very in the public eye,
like yourself.
Speaker 3 (13:13):
You know, there is a certain level of like one.
Speaker 4 (13:17):
Professionalism you want to always bring and you have your
own standards and you know who you are as a
creator and an artist is like, yeah, I'm doing this
and this is me.
Speaker 3 (13:27):
But it doesn't mean it's easy.
Speaker 4 (13:30):
You know, just because you're successful, nobody saw all those
days when you weren't, because we both have.
Speaker 3 (13:37):
Them, you know what I mean. And like when I
was on the SAP and I was dealing with that
Internet hate. That really was hard for me. That was
really that was a struggle of being like these people
hate me and.
Speaker 4 (13:49):
I have to show up and do this every day
and they hate me and there's nothing I can do,
you know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (13:57):
And it was like super tough.
Speaker 4 (14:00):
And I didn't talk about this earlier, but essentially this
this soap went through like a reconfiguration where like a
lot of cast members were lieving or changing positions, and
so my contract was up for renegotiation and I was struggling.
I was struggling mentally. I think the Internet hate was
(14:22):
a lot of it. I felt like I wasn't doing
a good job. I also hadn't learned enough technique as
an artist to Okay, I have to deliver these emotions,
but I have to protect my true life from it
and not it filtered through. And so I was, you know,
(14:42):
with soaps, something bad is happening constantly, like it is crazy,
and so I was really crying every day and so
I really slipped into this like depression where I was
like everyone hates me, Like I was just I was
so young, right, so I can laugh at it now,
(15:02):
but like looking back, it was I was a mess.
Speaker 3 (15:05):
And so you know, I was talking to I told
my manager. I was like, could I I'm really struggling,
Like can I switch to a recurring which is kind
of like a lighter contract because going every day was
really wearing on me.
Speaker 4 (15:20):
And I also was like, clearly, as people don't like
my acting, so maybe I need to like go back
into class. And you know, I was so new, so
I was like, yeah, I need to get educated more. Anyway,
So manager brings that up to the producer and they
talk about it, and then ultimately they were like, you
know what, We're just gonna let Lindsay go. And I
(15:40):
was like, young Lindsay was like, am I getting fired?
Speaker 3 (15:45):
I always got fired and was like what do I
do now?
Speaker 4 (15:50):
Like, you know, this was my financial everything, This was
me making my dreams come true.
Speaker 3 (15:57):
This was me.
Speaker 4 (15:59):
I had dropped out a to pursue acting, and like
my parents did not approve, hated it. I also had
like scholarships too, and I foregone or let them go
so I could pursue acting. So I was just like
everything I have sacrificed to be here and I get
to what I felt was my goal was like acting
(16:19):
and being able to provide for myself gone like gone,
you know what I mean, Like it just felt all
for nothing because I felt like I wasn't good enough.
And so there was a period where I got really
you know, dark with myself, and I was just like,
maybe I'm not cut out for this, Maybe this isn't it.
And you know, I really like how to sit and
(16:43):
talk with myself and be like, you know what, fuck that,
I'm not done yet, you know what I mean. And
so I got back into class. I hired a personal
trainer because I gained some weight in my sadness.
Speaker 3 (16:56):
So I was like, you know what, I'm.
Speaker 4 (16:59):
Gonna put my nose to the grind and I'm going
to I'm going to grind. And I was taking like
maybe three four classes a week. I was acting every
day for like five hours a day, like in rehearsals
like boom boom, boom boom.
Speaker 3 (17:14):
You know. Maybe three months later, I think a book
one hundred.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
First of all, thank god, because what you created in
the hundred with your role is is so iconic. You
of course played a badass mechanical engineer. Her name was Raven.
Do you think about that time often?
Speaker 4 (17:38):
Yeah, it's like it was, oh gosh, it's so crazy
too now because I'm always like, wait, it just happened,
and I'm like, no.
Speaker 3 (17:45):
It's been years.
Speaker 4 (17:47):
And you know what surprises me is the people who
found it. Like I get all walks of life coming
up to me and saying like, hey, I really.
Speaker 3 (17:57):
Loved your show or I really loved your character.
Speaker 4 (18:00):
Now, even like there was like a period where it,
you know, it wasn't happening as much. And I was like, okay,
I think the show got off Netflix, like it wasn't
on there anymore. And I'm like, Okay, people aren't really
seeing it anymore.
Speaker 3 (18:10):
That's fine. And then my friend twelve year old.
Speaker 4 (18:14):
Daughter was like, oh my god, you're raving, like at
dinner the other week, and I was like, what, how
have you seen this show?
Speaker 3 (18:23):
And so, you know, I guess maybe it's kind of
coming back. And she was like everyone at my school's
seen it. And I was like, that's so crazy.
Speaker 4 (18:31):
How you know, when you make something, especially now in
this digital age, it is kind of a time capsule
and anyone can find it at any point, and like,
I'm going to be eighty five, god willing one day
and somebody's going to be like, remember this Grandma, you know.
Speaker 5 (18:47):
What I mean, that's gonna be that's gonna be really
rad you know, Like it's so crazy because that was
my twenties and so now to have like my twenties
encapsulated in film is kind of wild to think.
Speaker 4 (19:05):
Yeah, it was a special show, and I think, you know,
I learned so much from it. It grew so much
during it highs and lows. I think we've all everyone
part of it had such an interesting and really impactful experience.
Speaker 3 (19:20):
I think people who watched it, I think it was.
Speaker 4 (19:24):
Ahead of its time and it was presenting a lot
and also like it was a really ambitious show, like
very creative for what it was doing and for the
audience it was apparently for you know, it really pushed
a lot of boundaries and broke a lot of rules.
And you know, I also think it was a big
(19:44):
part of this kind of female empowerment that we see
now in film and TV. And I remember, you know,
like Hunger Games just came out right before We came
out right, and it's like we were on that wave,
and I well, it's so lucky that I got to
be a part of it, and I got to play
(20:04):
character that I respect like just as a person and
also as a young woman. You know, Raven was so
impactful on me, and I think at that age and
through that age for myself, I needed strength and Raven
really taught me how to harness it and find it
(20:25):
for myself. So yeah, it was it was a journey.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
It's also so successful today because it was such this
viral sensation and there were clips all over the internet
and people I think today are still seeing clips before
maybe watching the series and then going to find the
series in twenty twenty four, right, So it's so amazing
the legacy that it's created, and that's largely due to yes,
amazing writing, but the artists who brought that show to life.
In this age of reboots and sequels and remakes, Like
(20:56):
do you ever think what if, Like could I do
another version of The Hundred reboot?
Speaker 3 (21:03):
Oh my gosh, I'd be game, I.
Speaker 4 (21:06):
Think, you know, I think the coolest thing about The
Hundred is it had so much life to it and
world in different worlds and different characters. So it's like
I always I still feel like there's so much story
to tell in you know, we could have gone on
(21:27):
for a long time because everyone created such rich worlds
and rich characters and just a rich lore, like a
rich story of like the minute you think they're all
done and alone and left for dead, like another clan
of people around, you're just like what a wormhole opens
(21:49):
up a portal, you know what I mean? We meet
aliens like it's just like it can go, you know.
I think that was one of the best things about
the show, and probably one of the hardest things to
pull off.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
Was it weird for you to hang up your raven
hat when it was all set and down. I mean,
something years is a long time to be a part
of something, especially in this day and age where it's
like a mini series or maybe three seasons seven years
of your life.
Speaker 5 (22:15):
You know.
Speaker 3 (22:15):
It's it's also interesting.
Speaker 4 (22:17):
I think what helped us is we did thirteen episodes
versus like a twenty two from another like kind of
the older method of shows now, which is wild that
we're not doing that anymore. As creative as the show
was right and amazing as the show was, it was
kind of dark like we had, like especially my character,
I had darkness I had to go through. And the
(22:39):
elements were tough too, you know. We filmed a lot
in the snow. We filmed a lot in the rain,
a lot outside because of the world written, and that's
just tough on everyone. That's tough on the crew, that's
tough on actors, that's tough on the artists who create
the sets, who create costumes. Like it's just like, please
(23:00):
don't rain, and then it's pouring rain. So, you know,
I think it was good. We would always have six
months off in between to kind of reset and and
so we're fresh. You know, when you're shooting, it's almost
kind of like your a professional athlete where it's like
you have to not get sick like ever, which is
(23:21):
really hard. You can't always control it, but like it's
something in your back of your mind where you're like,
I need to be healthy so I can deliver and
I can perform, And I am an athlete at this
point that is on in season for this amount of time,
So we needed the breaks to not burn everyone out.
(23:43):
But also, I don't know, I always felt like thirteen
was such a sweet spot. It was such a great
spot for us because we really got to push hard,
and sometimes I felt like we went a little too fast,
like we could have slowed down a little bit. And
this story would have still been impactful and great and
you had some time to breathe. But I remember when
(24:05):
we'd be rapping in Vancouver, so many other shows were
still they were still.
Speaker 3 (24:10):
Shooting and they were doing twenty two.
Speaker 4 (24:11):
So technically we were like, they're middle when we were finishing,
and they were just like, oh my gosh, we still
have halfway through to go, and you guys are rapping.
But I think that was smart because it didn't it
was longer than a mini series, you know, so it
felt like fulfilling as an audience member, I felt, but
it wasn't too long to where everyone's getting burnt out,
(24:34):
everyone's cranky and tired, or were completely running out of story.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
And I think to your point, you know, filming in
Brain and Snow and the Elements and all of that,
if a reboot does ever happen, let's do it in
like Malibu or something Hawaii.
Speaker 4 (24:50):
I pitched Hawaii one time because I was like, I
don't know, it's like Becca's because they were doing like.
Speaker 3 (24:56):
Some flashback or something.
Speaker 4 (24:58):
They're kind of like like Becca's capsule is going to
come to like the coaster, and I was like, can there's.
Speaker 3 (25:02):
Be a white Yeah?
Speaker 4 (25:06):
So that's my pitch for the reboot is like, maybe
we're in heaven and it's Hawaii.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
I'm here for it. I'm here for it, and I'll
be like, I'm volunteering to be like a pool boy
with a drink and an umbrella in it, and there
I am.
Speaker 2 (25:18):
We need more pool boys, always, more pool boys in life, Lindsay,
you also were a part of another project I want
to bring up, and that's Walker, and people loved Walker
so much.
Speaker 1 (25:30):
I know the series recently wrapped for good and Jerry's
been on my show and we talked about Walker. But
what I want to talk about is something kind of
that you were talking about earlier as well. So after
the second season you exited the show, right, was that
a difficult decision for you to make? And if you
don't mind me asking and sharing, like what was behind that?
Speaker 3 (25:51):
That was the hardest decision I've ever made, hands down.
Speaker 4 (25:54):
You know, you go back to like, I think people
forget what it's like to be an artist in the
sense of you're a freelancer, Like I don't have any
job security. I work from job to job and what
I offer is a creative service, so I don't have
(26:17):
any guarantee that someone's going to hire me ever, or
that everyone's going to like what I do, because that's impossible.
Speaker 3 (26:23):
I'm an artist.
Speaker 4 (26:24):
Everyone is free to have their opinion of art, right,
and I think that's great. We have great different kinds
of art because of that.
Speaker 3 (26:32):
So it's wonderful.
Speaker 4 (26:33):
It's just sometimes it's difficult as the artist pursuing this
as a career and in this industry, because again, you
need to be able to provide for yourself a home,
maybe a family. We all got bills, right, So for me.
Speaker 3 (26:51):
Me getting Walker was a huge deal to me.
Speaker 4 (26:56):
You know, up to this point, I I was really
proud of the work I did on one hundred right,
but I wasn't a lead. I wasn't a lead character.
I was a supporting character. And in that sense, you know,
I didn't work as much as the leads did, and
I wasn't as front and center.
Speaker 3 (27:14):
As they were.
Speaker 4 (27:15):
Right I could, I got more rest, I got, I
got to do cool stuff, but I didn't. It wasn't
on my shoulders to fully carry the story. So up
until this point, I have been manifesting and being like,
I really just want to be a lead. I want
to like get that promotion in my journey, in my
career journey, right, So when Walker came, it was like
(27:37):
I'm the lead, which or like the lead female, which
is like that was my dream come true. You know,
I was making the kind of money that I could
buy a house and have a home, And that was
a huge deal for me because there was a period
when in my other journey where I was kind of
I was kind of home, like I didn't have a
(27:59):
home for a long time.
Speaker 3 (28:00):
I was just like kind of being a gypsy.
Speaker 4 (28:03):
So for me to buy my own home was like
a big goal of mine and like very important to me.
Speaker 3 (28:09):
So all of a sudden, it was like all these.
Speaker 4 (28:13):
Amazing things given to me, and I bought a house
here in Austin, thinking hoping the show would go on
for a long time. And because you never know either,
we're always every show could be canceled, so you just
don't know. So when you're on location filming, you usually
rent something, right, Like I never knew about the Hundreds,
(28:35):
so I rented a place to live every seven years.
So when Walker came along, me deciding to buy a
home here in Austin was another gamble, Like I don't
know if I'm if it's gonna last, but I'm gonna
make the move and do it and.
Speaker 3 (28:52):
Kind of fulfill this big goal of mine.
Speaker 4 (28:55):
So while we were working, and maybe you know, if
I'm being honest, I think I knew something was up
in the sense of like I didn't feel my best.
And so what it happened to was we just wrapped
A hundred around February twenty twenty. Okay Walker was supposed
(29:19):
to start filming April twenty twenty, so I was like,
maybe gonna get a month off go into filming just
the pilot, and then the pilot was set to series,
so maybe we'd start fully.
Speaker 3 (29:33):
Like August or something.
Speaker 4 (29:35):
And so before this, I hadn't really had a I
hadn't had a break. I worked seven years on a show,
and of course we did six months on six months off,
but during my six months off, I always did a
movie during my hiatus, and then I would do conventions too,
So it's like I was pretty packed my schedule for
the last seven years. And prior to that, I'd been
(29:55):
on the soap for almost two years, and so I
had worked really consistently up into this point of like
almost nine years without an actual break break again. For actors,
for artists, it's assumed there'll be down time because it's
hard to get a job, right, So it's like when
(30:17):
people are trying to get a job, that's their downtime.
I was really blessed and lucky that I started working.
I didn't stop, But looking back, I realized my mistake
in the sense of like an athlete, I was working, working, outputting, outputting, outputting,
but I wasn't recovering. So I started having like problems
(30:41):
around the last season of the hundred, like my skin
started breaking out really bad, which was bizarre to me
because that's never happened.
Speaker 3 (30:48):
So it's like all these.
Speaker 4 (30:50):
Weird things kept happening, which to me, I've realized where
triggers are like alarms because I'm a really hard worker,
Like nope, doesn't bother me, Like I'm not going to
I'm not going to admit weakness. I'm going to push
through a quality in myself I really admired for a
(31:11):
long time. But now to come to realize was a
little naive and like, you know, sure, I think it's
important to be strong or like push yourself and challenge yourself,
but it's ignorant of you to ignore alarm bells, things
(31:32):
in your body telling you, hey, something's going on.
Speaker 3 (31:35):
Right, So again I was like, I'm going to push through.
So we start filming. Everything's great, everyone's great. I'm from Texas,
so I'm back home.
Speaker 4 (31:46):
Actually, like get to see my mom, which I haven't
really besides holidays, haven't really spent time with like or
at sea since like over a decade.
Speaker 3 (31:54):
So all these like amazing things.
Speaker 4 (31:56):
All my dreams are coming true. And I was a mess,
Like me personally was not in a good place. My
anxiety was through the roof.
Speaker 3 (32:08):
My skin was thank God for like photoshop retouching, because
it was a disaster. You know. I was so.
Speaker 4 (32:19):
Embarrassed and like ashamed, you know what I mean, because
like I didn't know what I was doing wrong.
Speaker 3 (32:27):
And I was like, I'm doing all the things I've seen,
all the doctors, I've tried some medications, and this is
still happening. And again, this is like my alarm bells, right,
it keeps going forward, and.
Speaker 4 (32:45):
I just I feel like I did not do good work,
and I feel like, looking back on it now, it
was because I was so stressed out in my body
and mentally and physically and I was just a mess
and I couldn't.
Speaker 3 (33:02):
Figure out why.
Speaker 4 (33:03):
So I was like, I have all this responsibility now
on my shoulders, right, like I'm a lead, and like
the show's success is on my shoulders. And I felt
like I was failing everyone in myself too, And that
was really hard for me because I really hold myself
to a certain standard of like, you know, I'm here
(33:24):
to do my best work.
Speaker 3 (33:25):
I'm here to deliver.
Speaker 4 (33:27):
I want to like, if I commit to something, I'm
all in one hundred percent.
Speaker 3 (33:33):
And I always just felt like I was failing anyways.
So I'm fast forward.
Speaker 4 (33:39):
I start really looking into my health because I'm like,
something's not right. I start getting some like autoimmune numbers
on my tests, and I'm like, this is crazy because
no one in my family has autoimmune issues. This isn't genetic.
I'm a very healthy person, Like I'm active, I you know,
(34:03):
eat very healthy.
Speaker 3 (34:04):
I have my supplements.
Speaker 4 (34:05):
I've always been that person who, you know, was this
kind of picturesque of health.
Speaker 3 (34:11):
There's one point when I was taking like fifty.
Speaker 4 (34:15):
Vitamins a day, like supplements a day, because my body
wasn't processing anything, like wasn't getting the nutrients or help
that I needed in my body, and so like my
body was like shutting down and that was adding to
my anxiety because I didn't know what to do.
Speaker 3 (34:33):
So when I decided to.
Speaker 4 (34:37):
Leave, it was really set up to me in this
kind of simple way where the doctors I was seeing
at the time were like, you know, you have two choices.
One we put you on some medications that you may
have to stay on for life or like a long
period of time and will be difficult to get off.
(34:57):
Or you completely change your lifestyle and that includes no stress.
And when you're leading a TV show, you know you're
working sixteen hours a.
Speaker 3 (35:09):
Day, four to five days a week. And we were.
Speaker 4 (35:12):
Shooting twenty two episodes at a time that was nine
months straight. In between season one and season two, we
maybe had a six week break.
Speaker 3 (35:20):
So this was like I was in marathon mode, you know.
Speaker 4 (35:24):
And I always tell Jared he's a marathon man, and
not just like in like in the actual real sense,
but also in the metaphorical sense. I really have always
admired him because that man can just film and film
and film and run and run and run, and his
capacity for work is just where's work ethic is insane.
Speaker 3 (35:46):
And so you know, I was like, I also have.
Speaker 4 (35:50):
A very similar one, and I was like, what's going
with me? And then I found out I was having
these issues. Anyways, I decided to leave the show, and
I really I was a hard decision I've ever made
because I worked so hard to get there.
Speaker 6 (36:05):
Yeah, that was my dream, and then I have to
leave and give it up, and then I had to
deal with.
Speaker 3 (36:19):
The repercussions of what that meant, and that was hard.
That was almost harder for me because it was like
dealing with.
Speaker 4 (36:31):
Not only was I dealing with my health journey, which
was really scary because I was like, Okay, I need
to figure this out and I need to do something
about it.
Speaker 3 (36:38):
Right, but also it was like.
Speaker 4 (36:42):
I felt like I failed, and that was hard for
me because I, like I said, I'm somebody that really
pushes themselves and has really high standards and I never
want to let anyone around me down, you know what
I mean. So like I felt a little bit like
I let Jared down or let the show down, and
(37:05):
that was the hardest part for me because it still
makes me emotional, which I know is silly, because I
was doing what I needed to do to take care
of myself and that's more important.
Speaker 3 (37:15):
But I'm definitely a person.
Speaker 4 (37:16):
That always I don't know, not that I put people
in before myself, but I really care about Like if
I made a commitment to you, I mean it.
Speaker 3 (37:27):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 7 (37:28):
So that was hard for me, right, But that was
a really great lesson that like life happens, and we
have to make decisions that are the best for us,
even if that means disappointing other people.
Speaker 4 (37:45):
And that's scary, right because you know, you don't want
to hurt someone or you don't want to disappoint someone,
But you are the most important person in your life.
And that could be loved ones, that could be family,
that could be romantic partners, could you coworkers, And it
really is up to you to be your own advocate.
Speaker 3 (38:07):
Right.
Speaker 4 (38:08):
That was what I learned, And so that period in
my life changed my life. Like I'm a different person
now because I did that, and a better person.
Speaker 3 (38:23):
You know, not only Anyways, my health thing was crazy.
Speaker 4 (38:26):
I ended up finding out I had a spinal injury
which was affecting my nervous system and like my brainstem.
Speaker 3 (38:33):
So it was when I say it was crazy, it
was crazy.
Speaker 1 (38:37):
That's a lot to go And first of all, thank
you for telling me that entire story, because I don't
know if you've shared that before.
Speaker 3 (38:42):
I don't think I have, I really and I think
I couldn't.
Speaker 1 (38:46):
Yeah, it had to be when you were ready, you know.
And I think that it's so hard sometimes to put
yourself first, and thank god you did because you were
able to get the help you needed. And I mean,
a spinal injury is no joke. And then to have,
you know, maybe as as a side effect of that,
which seems like somewhat crippling anxiety that you had to
(39:07):
also deal with. I mean, it's a lot on your plate.
And I'm so happy you knew I need to put
me first because there'll be no jobs forever if I'm
not here to do that, you know.
Speaker 4 (39:19):
And that's what I learned. I was like, your health is.
Everyone's health is their number one priority. And you know,
this life and this industry we're in can make you
feel like well no, no, no work is, and this job
is and making your dreams come true is on this
pedestal and that's the you give everything to that.
Speaker 3 (39:42):
You know what I mean. And it's like, no.
Speaker 4 (39:47):
People want to tell you too, And people want to,
especially people who are benefiting from you, want to tell
you to do that. But the people who really care
about you, and the people who really like care about
you and your wellness, you.
Speaker 3 (40:00):
Know, they support you. Like I look at like Simon Biles.
Speaker 4 (40:04):
The gymnasts, like when she left, like the country was
mad at her, Like I was so appalled. I was like,
you guys are classless to think this has anything to
do with you, and to not support this woman who
has the bravery to stand in front of the country
(40:25):
and tell them I need a moment or I'm done.
She did not owe us to come back. And then
she did, and she crushed it even more. And so
I you know, when I was looking back at my stuff,
I was I'm not Simon, but where I am now,
(40:46):
in my body and my heart and my spirituality, in
my wellness and even in my craft, like in my
work and in my acting, far surpasses where I was.
And I'm so grateful for that, because I don't know
if I would have gotten to hear if I didn't
go through that. And I feel like, you're right, I
(41:09):
haven't really shared this with them. Maybe this is what
was my share I haven't really ever shared this because
I wasn't ready and also because I hadn't had enough
time to really process and understand and evaluate my journey,
my story, and also.
Speaker 3 (41:30):
Let go of the fear. There was a lot of fear.
I didn't tell a lot of people why I left
because I was afraid they judged me.
Speaker 4 (41:38):
I was afraid it could hurt me, Like you know,
you have to be insured for projects, and like if
I was a liability, I was afraid about that. I
was afraid people would think I was weak, I know,
very dumb, but like.
Speaker 3 (41:52):
Not dumb, but like you know what I mean. Those
are the fears, right.
Speaker 4 (41:55):
And so I was like, I'm not I got to
just take care of me. But now I'm looking at
this and just like what we were saying in the
beginning is like, well this is part of my story, right,
and like there's a lot of it people don't see
and don't know.
Speaker 3 (42:13):
But if there's somebody out.
Speaker 4 (42:14):
There who wants to do what I do, or is
inspired to do what I do, or just like your
reporter who reached out to you.
Speaker 3 (42:23):
It is important they know.
Speaker 4 (42:24):
And I look at people i'm inspired by, you know,
like Simone and It's like this is such a huge
part of I don't even know, like humanity, Like this
is storytelling, right, Like I'm telling you my story and
hopes that maybe it helps anyone out there who's struggling,
because I was that I was struggling at one point, right, And.
Speaker 3 (42:48):
So Simone's story helped me, you know what I'm saying.
You telling that reporter like that helped.
Speaker 1 (42:55):
That, you know what, even saying like it's so important.
We don't as a society share enough. And it's so
wild to me because when you were sharing what you
went through and what you know led to that decision
to leave Walker, It's like I could almost feel what
you were going through. It's like it's the strangest thing
to me, and I could so just understand how someone
could feel the weight of the world on their shoulders.
(43:17):
And you said something so powerful that you felt like
a failure, and we've all been there before in our lives,
and I just think it's oh, like I just wanted
to hug that Lindsay back then to let you know
that would be okay. So I honestly I so appreciate
you sharing that. I think we need more and more
stories like this out in the world. I need a second.
I'm like, I was like, you won't find me crying
over here. I'm like, I'm sweating. I'm like so emotional.
(43:39):
I'm me at the person. So I'm an Italian from Jersey,
so I'm very emotional. But that was just And I
hate saying things like this because every show is special
to me. But this conversation, seriously has been one of
the most special conversations for me because it went in
all these directions that I never could have anticipated because
it was so raw and organic and honest. And I
don't I don't even know if I should ask my
(44:00):
final question because I feel like the whole conversation has
been an answer to this question. But in you know,
in same of what I do for every single show,
I will ask it. And if you say it was
already what we talked about, great, But the name of
the show is called I've never said this before, and
I usually wrap up by asking my guest, what is
one thing that you've never said before? So the floor
(44:22):
is yours whatever comes to mind, unless you think we've
covered it well.
Speaker 4 (44:27):
I think I really nailed the assignment, so kudos for that.
Speaker 3 (44:37):
You know what It's interesting.
Speaker 4 (44:38):
I went through a big period in my life where
I didn't want to be seen anymore. I felt a
lot of failure, I felt a lot of guilt, I
felt a lot of shame, and I'm I've done a
lot of work on myself to know.
Speaker 3 (44:54):
That's not true.
Speaker 4 (44:56):
And so I'm sharing this because it it's important that
I be witnessed, you know what I'm saying, or like
you be witnessed or we are witnessed, because that's how
we heal. Right, So you know, I want to thank
you for allowing me to share into witnessing me because
(45:20):
this is in You are a major part of my healing,
and I hope everyone listening or who does listen knows
they're also a part of that. And that was a
big lesson for me that maybe I've never shared, is
that when I'm going through things that are hard, i
hide or I'll isolate. And I've learned now that that
(45:44):
is the opposite of what we need to do.
Speaker 3 (45:46):
You know.
Speaker 4 (45:47):
If anything, that's when we need more connection, We need
to reach out, We need to be really fucking honest, like, hey,
I'm struggling, Hey I'm going through this, Hey I'm having
these thoughts, you know, and like, I'm a big advocate
for therapy. I'm a big advocate for mental health, and
now in my life I'm a big advocate for truth.
(46:11):
And I'm not perfect, like not even close. And I
used to think that was a bad.
Speaker 3 (46:19):
Thing, and now I'm so proud of me in the
sense of like, I'm not perfect, and.
Speaker 4 (46:27):
I am okay and happy to be seen again. And
I think there was a while where I was really
doubting if I got back into acting, And there was
a while where I was doubting myself and didn't think.
I felt I was like washed up but didn't have
the juice anymore. And now I'm like, no, no, I
didn't want to be seen, right, And acting is so
(46:50):
much about being seen, even though if I'm being another character,
I'm playing somebody else, that's still my heart, that's still
my artistry, my soul that's coming through my.
Speaker 3 (47:00):
Body is that vessel. Right.
Speaker 4 (47:02):
Yes, I realized that I got into acting because I
wanted to be seen and I wanted to connect. And
then now in my life I'm seeing the importance of it,
not just in my career, my career pursuits, but in
my real life. You know like I need to be
(47:25):
seen as Lindsay, not as a character, and I need
to see others the same, and that to me is
our healing and also that's our growth.
Speaker 1 (47:35):
Oh yes, yes, yes, yes yes, oh Lindsay No, thank you,
I know, no, seriously, thank you. I know we met
half an hour ago, but I feel strangely proud that
you're at this point of your life as if I've
known you forever, and that you can be at a
point where you feel like you're truly seen. And this
(47:59):
is probably probably the episode where I've gotten the most
emotional myself in because I feel like this is why
I started the show.
Speaker 3 (48:05):
Right.
Speaker 1 (48:06):
Yes, I want to celebrate the work that fans love
and let's go and have fun and play, but I
also want people to come on and reveal a side
to themselves they don't often get to reveal. I mean,
you're not going to turn on your Instagram live or
your camera and just start saying this, right it's it's
a space to have a real conversation. And for me,
I'm so fulfilled that you brought your full self to
(48:28):
this today and I'm so sorry I've kept you for
like an hour and I could have kept you for
four more, but in the interest of maybe a part
two down the line, I'm gonna let you go. But honestly,
thank you for everything today because I think this conversation
is healing for me and it's gonna be healing for
a lot of people. So I just fucking adore you
(48:51):
and I'm so happy we got to meet. Not tell
me no, like besties like best eason, low key, like
I might have to leave my husband for you, sorry,
like you know, and I know you're married, but I
know you'll figure it out. We'll figure it out. But
am I gay?
Speaker 4 (49:05):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (49:06):
I'm just kidding and just kidding. Love you too, But
thank you, Thank you so much, and I adore you.
Speaker 3 (49:17):
Thank you so much. It was truly a pleasure.
Speaker 1 (49:21):
I've Never Said This Before is hosted by Me Tommy Dedario.
This podcast is executive produced by Andrew Puglisi at iHeartRadio
and by Me Tommy, with editing by Joshua Colaudney. I've
Never Said This Before is part of the Elvis Duran
podcast network on iHeart Podcasts. For more, rate review and
subscribe to our show and if you liked this episode,
(49:43):
tell your friends Until next time, I'm Tommy de Dario
Host
Tommy DiDario
Popular Podcasts
40s and Free Agents: NFL Draft Season
Daniel Jeremiah of Move the Sticks and Gregg Rosenthal of NFL Daily join forces to break down every team's needs this offseason.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
The Bobby Bones Show
Listen to 'The Bobby Bones Show' by downloading the daily full replay.