June 29, 2022 • 37 mins
The ladies continue their conversation from last week on reproductive health. They explore the practice of cycle tracking to empower your life. For more information on cycle tracking check out https://www.floliving.com/. Call 866-HEY-JILL and leave us a message with your comments on this episode!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome to Jay dot m a production of I Heart Radio.
Welcome back to Shane dot Elder podcast. Agel Graydon Danceler.
Your fly is St Claire, I am present and this
(00:22):
this is your friend. This is Jill Scott from North Philly,
a k a. Jilly and uh, welcome to Jay dot
Elga podcast. We've been talking again, of course, and you're
you're walking in on a conversation that we're having about
whole pleasure versus versus the pieces. I guess whole versus pieces.
(00:48):
Maybe that's what it is. We initially started this conversation
talking about receiving oral sex. And I'm just gonna put
it out there because this is this is what we
do on this podcast. I never liked it, friends, I
just never liked it. For many many years. It just
was not my thing until recently, thank you, but but
(01:13):
for many many years. I know, right, it's a whole
world for me, It's a whole new world. Wanted it.
I never wanted that. I'm always allowed it. I allowed
it because I was being gracious, you know, I'm allowing
it because you you know, the mate or the person
(01:33):
you get all excited about it. But I was just
trying to get the penetration and quite frankly, you know,
let's get Yeah. But but this opened up a really
interesting conversation because we're just thinking about, well why that is,
and and and Amber had mentioned that maybe it was
a control thing. Maybe it's about kind of releasing the
(01:54):
control over the situation, or being or being deeply vulnerable
in that moment, or any number of different kind of
things mentally as to why it might be something you're
not really into, which I thought was really worth exploring,
because then it got into another part of the conversation
where I was like, oh, wait a minute, if we
(02:15):
look at this a little different from being like why
do I not like this thing? Into like, well, what
is it that I'm trying to achieve from an intimate moment?
Like what am I trying to get at? You know?
And it's like outside of just kind of I guess,
the immediate pleasure of what sex brings, but just how
we can look at our bodies and and experience that
(02:36):
in a full way. And I thought that's pretty dope. Yeah, No,
it don't seem like it just seems I agree. It
just seemed like some partners are just here to prove
a point. You know, I can do this better than
anybody else could do this, and then I'm gonna show
you on you you know, you know it's like, yeah,
(02:57):
and that's a point, says I'm every dude. I feel
like it's some basic fundamentals. Men feel like there are
certain things that if they master that women will you know,
fall into their arms. And women are just not all
the same in that way. No, definitely not me. It's
not something that turned me out ever. But that's why
men are just as much victims of, you know, these
(03:18):
kind of weird practices as much as we are, because
I think at the end of the day, they enjoy
a full experience too, because you know, it's interesting, Um
Jill said this many episodes back when she talked about
kissing and you know how some couples just stopped kissing,
and it's like, I don't know, here recently and Fatima
(03:41):
always kiss but we spent more time kissing, and that
in and of itself is so sensual and so intense,
and it's just like, and you've done nothing but kiss
at that point and spending ten fifteen minutes just doing that,
I mean, all of those things and we talked about
things like tantric sex, and I have never done that,
(04:03):
but then I realized that I have because I just
call it. I don't have nowhere to go, because it's
like we don't have anywhere to go, so they don't
have to rush. We're not rushing through this. We're not
trying to get to some magical end result, even though
we are. But you know, the point is that it's
an understanding. But it's just like we're here, we're us,
let's test just be us, Let's you know, look at
(04:27):
each other, let's touch each other, let's love each other.
And then the tantric part. A lot a lot of
that is breathing into each other. There's nothing and no
one else around. Like you said, we got time. We
ain't gotta go nowhere, So we take moments to to really,
(04:48):
um connect with your lover spiritually, not just physically. The
there's an art to not touching. There is romance and
not touching as well, and um, you know, I just
I'm feeling kind of away, feeling like, oh no, if
everybody's just watching porn and thinking that that, you know,
(05:10):
think about the things they say. You know, I gotta
beat the pussy up. You know, I killed it. You know, violence,
it's it's all so violent, violent, you know, and everything
and that. I'm like, wait a minute, y'all. I'm like,
it's not all. No, no, not all, not all. But
(05:33):
if that's the only kind you're watching, you've got a
very limited view on what sex and sexuality is like
if you're only listening to guys who say things like
like yeah, but but terms like beat the pussy up
are like regular, Yeah, that's hip hop though. See that's
that's the funny part. I'm like, that'shi, that's hip hop.
And then and every sometimes you do want your pussy
(05:56):
beat up? Yeah, that's what that. I don't never want
my pussy beat up. I made a point to tell
people I don't please. Whatever you do, don't beat this
pussy up. I don't want no scars when you finish.
I don't want no bruises. Don't beat this pussy up.
That don't even turn me on. That drives me out.
I don't want the vision, just the thought of beating
a pussy up. Why why ain't you? I mean, we
(06:21):
didn't have to give me a while set, but you ain't.
You never got to beat my pussy up beat it up,
but he can't live it. Good God. No. Once time
I heard it described as a good friend of ours
wrote a song and in the song he says, tonight,
(06:41):
I'm gonna be bullying you. Oh yeah, well that's what
It's a little softer, but I ain't gonna lie. I
was like, well, I got in the back of the
class of my hand up. A little bully. A little
(07:01):
bully is okay. Yes, you want to tell me what
to do? Okay, A little bully is okay. You can
tell me what to do. You can tell me what
to do. If you can tell me what to do, yes,
you can tell me what to do. You can't tell
me what You can't tell me what to do. You
(07:23):
can't tell me what to do. You just you just can't.
Can't write it takes a certain kind of authority for
me anyway, because I look at myself as a lionesst um,
and I want my lion to to address me as such.
You know, I don't. I get it, I get it,
(07:46):
I get it. I get it. I feel like I
feel like we need to be role specific here in
the sense of that everybody's gonna have their can't or
whatever and this is not about you know, that just
varies from person to person, but the idea that we
(08:07):
don't separate the vagina or separate the sexual organs or
the things that society says are sexy breasts or butts
or whatever, that we don't start we don't separate those
things from a human being, and that we we learn
to humanize the sexual experience and the pleasure experience, and
(08:28):
that that you're in a moment with another person, and
that they're a full person and they have a whole
body and a mind and an emotions, and and that
they're real, you know what I mean, and that they're
not an object. And I think that happens both ways.
And honestly, I feel like men free themselves when they
(08:50):
are treated like that, and just as we do, we
free ourselves when we're treated like that. These two human beings,
even when it's same sex, no matter what it is,
and it's two human beings that respect their humanity and
they go into that situation and it's all about that,
honey king, whatever spectrum of the kinks that you want,
(09:12):
it's fine, But at the end of the day, it's
a person. And that's that's why I feel like love
is so important. Love in the sense, in the larger
sense of love, you know what I mean, but love
friendship you actually like somebody trust trust. I trust that
(09:34):
you're going to choke me. I trust that you're not
going to take me to Thank you exactly exactly. Yeah, yeah,
to put it there. Thank you friend, thank you so yeah,
thank you friend. It's just a lot of folks that
(09:55):
just giving me so many gems tonight, I'm gonna say
thank you, nice, thank you. I'm like texted right now.
I like it when it's so good. All you gotta
do is touch feet and it feels if it's something
you feel it in your in your in your coach,
are you yeah, I am really yeah yeah, but not
(10:21):
like in the mouth right like no, no, no, no, no,
no no, I'm good on that. Just the touch of
the touch, like the foot touch. Yeah, but I really
love a foot. Time you felt that one, Yeah, that's
when you know. That's what I mean for me. That's
the clue you're you're ready, okay, Yeah, yeah, I got
a thing. I definitely have a thing for hands and feet,
(10:45):
you know. But like ages said, everybody's gonna have their
kinks and their proclivities. What we're really talking about is
is connecting with your whole self and not just the
pieces of you. Yeah, somebody's gonna be like, oh I
like your ass, well I like your bru your tits
or whatever, or they want to, you know, just connect
with your vagina, but not with you at all. You
(11:08):
know that happens a lot. I feel like that happens
way too much. But you know the difference because you've
all felt we've all had that well hopefully we've all
had that feeling where you might be having some great sex,
but it's the moment when you guys catch each other's eyes.
It's a moment when it's just like you digging into
each other soul moment and yeah, this is happening too,
(11:30):
but oh oh oh yeah, oh m hmmm, it's a
beautiful thing. More conversation after the break, I will say
(11:56):
this and and to to bring back one of the
things that we earned coming into doing these episodes, where
it's like, you know, so much of the of the
treating another person in that way comes from first kind
of knowing and understanding your body. And you know, I
had no idea that we had come so far in
this journey to kind of like really get to know
(12:20):
your body as a woman and how it functions and
the functions of this body, you know. And just recently
we were it was brought to my attention that a
lot of women are using like even apps to kind
of follow their cycle and all the different things that
happened from the moment you have your period, in times
of your off your period to determine everything from what
(12:43):
you eat to how much you get, how how much
sleep you get, when you should work out. I mean,
these are things that honestly, I have never been in
touch with my body to that level, to where I
allowed my body to dictate all of the things things
that I did for myself, even down to my resting.
(13:03):
And you know, to think that I'm a woman at
at middle age where I am just now discovering some
of those things and even in a more emotional way,
in a more spiritual way, the choosing of the self,
the listening to the self, the trusting the self, you know,
And that was really intense for me. And I really
(13:24):
thought that that that was, you know, just I'm so
proud of the young girl. He's I called the young girls,
the girls, whether you know, I'm so proud of them
because they're bringing that into an actual daily practice much
younger than I learned, and I'm still learning, so this
is actually really new to me. And what of this stuff?
(13:51):
They had a three inch thick cotton pad and a
belt that you put together with safety pends. Safe depended
of your panties. Oh I missed him? Yeah, yeah, can
you imagine it is because of them? No, like we've
come a mind along way. I just love that, just
(14:13):
the concept that we are here and beginning finally really
beginning to understand our bodies. And it's not just for
which is it's not just for you know, duelus, you know,
it's for all of us to have a good grasp
of our bodies. And did y'all know they didn't even
advertise pads on TV till nineteen seventies. I did nineteen
(14:37):
sevent and him hit him. I went to all girls school,
you know, I went to Philadelphia High School for girls
and folks and just walk out with their tampon in
their hand or their pad in their hands. You had
a little bag that you had to put in your
book back, you know, you carry that to the bathroom.
(14:58):
Everybody in the school had a day on period, you
know what I mean, pretty much almost all of the
students had a cycle of some sort, and nonetheless we
were still hiding it from each other. Right, yeah, here
we are here. Now, we're out here now many many
period apps. Now they're making sure they're keeping up with
(15:20):
everything that's going on with us. That's where we are.
I love it. Uh well, listen, I mean, you have
to do what you have to do. And the health
care aspect of it is so important. And again we're
talking about things like you know, and we talk about
her all the time, and we really I'm ashamed of
us that we haven't had her on yet, the sister
from the NA ministry, and that even down to us
(15:41):
really getting into understanding how how much we need to
rest that, I mean, just all of the ways that
we are moving this whole conversation forward is amazing to me.
And I want you. I don't even remember the name
of that app though, like I know you were talking
about it. It's called what is it called? Did you
try it? Like? I have tried it. I have not
done the higher levels yet, but yes I have tried it.
(16:03):
I like it. Mind you, I already had a period
of app But the difference between this one and mine
is that it's just it's way more intricate into telling
you the daily of how you should be expecting to
feel and live and what you should be doing. That's
why I did it, girl. I'm glad I didn't have
this because my poor children probably might not have got
born because that it was not for acts at not
(16:23):
knowing nothing about cool. No, I'm joking, but still, I mean, well,
you you know, you guys know that I'm kind of
a unicorn in that way. That's right. Yeah, I spent
eighteen years without a cycle, and is it and then
(16:43):
it went regular, right, yeah, and then it went regular.
Now it's it's whenever it feels like it. I can't
count on it. You know, it comes when it once,
It goes when it when it once. Wow, my mine
is like clockwork right now. I'm unfortunately it is. Literally
I could set everybody's timers beautiful. I don't know what's
(17:10):
after having children, it just reverted back to some sort
of seventeen year old cycle where it's just like bam,
every twenty eight days, bow bow bow bow. Yeah. And
I don't I don't that I'm not used to that,
but it has it's it's rolling. It's a couple of
months and I don't even blink like whole you know.
(17:34):
I love that we are all three so different. I'm
like even in this moment in this flow story because
I'm like, yeah, this five broid cycle right here, child,
I had my doctor said I'm gonna give you this bill.
So did your your periods be lighter? Right? The catch? Well,
she didn't tell me. The catch was she say, you
was gonna have, um, like, three weeks of a period.
We can talk after you. They had three weeks of
(17:55):
a period on a vacation in Jamaica, and I was like, oh,
it's lighter, thank you. Dr. However, I've been on this
motherfucker for three weeks and so when does it go away? Oh?
Shout out to the system. You know, it's all good.
You know we figured out well. You know they're also
talking about how came out. I saw a tweet, so
(18:16):
I want to make sure i'd let y'all know I
didn't read an article or a book. This is a
tweet that was made about how that that common practice
of giving teenage girls birth control pills to control things
like acne and things like that has has has has
been proven that there's lots of carcinogens and stuff like
that have been I mean it's bad, like the implications,
(18:37):
the long term health implications of that for a generation
of girls, because you know that was commonplace when free samples, yea,
they used the doctors. They had no problem giving free
samples of birth control pills. What listen. I didn't listen.
I wasn't afraid I was gonna get more titties. And
I was like, oh my god, I don't want no
more titties. Just please, I'll be I don't have a
(19:00):
period anyway, kindly something three can all agree on. The
Delicious Crew, I love it. That was. That was the reason.
To the Delicious Crew, though, you give me birth control
to get my cycle to regulate, And I was like,
I'm cool. Does not have it? Man, I was like
a pass forward going to wear white. Oh summer long.
(19:26):
I'm just so jealous. I'm gonna tell you something. I've
never been on birth control pills. The first birth control
I was ever on was something that was actually pretty
bad for women. Later on down the line, they realized
was something called depot rivera, which is that I remember
that the pill in the arm, right, Yeah, yeah, I
was on that after my first or second one of
(19:48):
those two. No, it was after my second child, because um,
I was like, yeah, two kids is a lie. So
I got one. Yeah, I got that, and my hair thinned,
my eyesight got worse, and it took me no time
to start to notice it. And I was like, yeah,
(20:08):
I'm done with this, and let me tell you all
what was the big gag. The big gag was they
told me that, oh, it's such a strong medicine that
you know, you don't have to worry about getting pregnant
for at least a year. You can be off it
for like a year. Girl, I got off that damn thing.
Two months later I was pregnant. Yeah, and that was
(20:29):
just baby three. I see you. I'm about to say
any any that's why it Yeah, that's why. That's why
Dea and Nina are the closest thing to stair step
babies that I have. Out of the whole six, they're
the closest. Is that the classy way of saying ghetto twins.
First of all, I'm about to quit you again, cut her,
(20:52):
cut her, cut her, Mike off step stairs, step Okay,
I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I see it's the lack of
filter for me that is about the proper, the proper,
politically incorrect term you're looking for. It's Irish twins. Okay.
So if you're gonna say something, if you're gonna say
(21:14):
something foul, you're gonna say it about this white folks.
You're gonna say about the black people who said that
the ghetto got to do with black folks. It ain't
start with black folks. You got Irish. Come on, now,
you got me o that and you're right and you're
right and I'm wrong. How about that you are right
and I'm wrong? One time? Ever, I'm gonna take this.
(21:36):
I'm gonna take this time, and I'm gonna put my
head down. Yes, no, no, no, no, because because silence. Yes,
it's just highly educated people. I don't know if y'all
know this. I'm just saying so I know it. No. No.
The reason why I had to acknowledge is because it
was so dead wrong to equate blackness with ghetto this
(22:00):
that I just was like, oh, that is so foul. Agent.
You us have to actually take responsibility for that. That
is foul. It was almost my point is it was
almost a trap. But yeah, no, the girls. The girls
are really close together because like you know, it's just
like and it's so hard to navigate this stuff like
for for for like uter in health stuff like and
(22:21):
and and that girl and having babies and stuff, oh,
having babies and everything. Oh my god, like you called
this situation. Don't know even some women have never even
seen their own servis you got a whole human being
of this thing, and you've never even seen it. I'm
supposed to have seen you. Have you seen You've had
(22:48):
a speculum, right, They've been going in there and open
the next time they go and look at it. Asked
them for a mirror and show you what it looked like.
I'm scared what I'm taking out. Okay, okay, okay, you
said you you made a little statement about your fist. Yeah,
your vagina don't look like this, But that's what they
told me. That's why I did that. Okay, I'm gonna
(23:10):
I'm gonna try that. Oh my god, you mean a
picture of while you're getting a pop smear of pelvic?
Oh lord, y'all did that? Am I the only person
who's never did that? It wasn't my choice. Mirror, it
wasn't my choice. And doctor was like my wife, and
I was like, oh yeah, it wasn't something that I
necessarily wanted to be prepared. It's making me sweat just
thinking about it. But the fascinating We're gonna take a
(23:36):
quick break and then we'll be right back. Think about
all of this time, all of this time that women
have not been aware of themselves, all of all of
this time, all of this time not knowing how to
(23:59):
have an orgasm, not not not understanding that there's nothing
wrong with your pleasure. Um, how many women suffered, you know,
just because it didn't understand it. It It was supposed to
be mutually beneficial sex and and and sexuality is supposed
to mutually beneficial. So here we are in a state
of being where we get to understand more about ourselves,
(24:23):
about what we want, about what feels good, and being
able to say that this, this doesn't give me pleasure.
How many women suffered in marriages where they hated having
sex with their husband, you know, just hated it and
couldn't even find the words to to say why it was.
So you know, um, I have a girlfriend actually, Um,
(24:44):
who who really beautiful. Her husband is really beautiful as well.
Oh my god, they're gorgeous. But sex is very painful
for her, very very painful for her. I don't know
why it is the way that it is. I don't
know how they're you're moving forward through it, but um,
(25:04):
that is, and just know that it's a real thing.
That's that's a real thing. But that's where oral sex.
We're knowing each other's bodies were, intimacy and all those
understanding that comes in handy in a moment like that,
because and also to eventually all of us get older,
and let's say, I mean you're I mean in your sixties, seventies, eighties,
(25:26):
we're saying, I mean, I'm well, sometimes men can't do
oh you know right, or even you might have vaginal dryness,
you might have issues with all the menopause. The menopause,
(25:47):
both men and women experience a lot of changes in
the body. So if you don't, if all you have
is your genitalia and then that goes away, then what
do you have? Hello, This is why we're having this
conversation because it's not just uh, sex and pleasure is
(26:07):
not just your genitalia. It's more than that. It's a
mental game, it's a spiritual game. It's touch and it's
it's not just touching in the parts that you're thinking.
It's touch on the foreheads, touched on the head itself, hands,
the neck, the back, the feet, the thigh, the knee,
the leg, all of these parts. Is what we're talking
(26:29):
about when we're saying a whole experience, not just an
h O L E experience. You feel me like, this
is what what we're trying to get to you today,
is that you're more than just the some of your parts,
your your entire being. Your eyes. Anybody ever licked your eyes?
(26:50):
My sweet anybody anybody ever, oh my, oh my, what
a nice time. Anybody ever licked the palm of your hand?
Any I do you ever suck your fingers? You know
what I'm saying, That that part that right before you
know where you're meets your ass, that that part right
(27:12):
there with somebody, just hold that real tight, all you
into them, all of the party on neck right there,
jail that back, party on neck right right there, that
all of these things. If you're not experiencing that, maybe
you might want to slow down and meet somebody like
(27:35):
I have real conversations with someone, laugh with them, get
to get to know who they are, because you're missing
out on something that I personally feel so valuable to
your humanity, being able to connect with someone on on
many levels at one time. It's beautiful. M fuck y'all.
(27:59):
I mean, I mean, let's let's just let's let's let's
just be real. What we are ultimately talking about is
seduction and understanding how that works because it it can
start in many, many different ways. It's just like I
was reading this book, UM Jason Reynolds, who was like
(28:20):
one of my favorite um kid authors, and um he
wrote many books, but he wrote he's kind of famous
for having written Miles and Morales UM Black spider Man,
a story which, by the way, has been banned by
several school districts recently since they're banning all these black
books insane. But we'll talk about that on another podcast.
(28:41):
But the thing is that UM Jason Reynolds UM contributed
to a book called Anonymous Sex and What the And
it's a bunch of short stories from a bunch of
different authors, but none of them are named in the
story they wrote, so you don't know who wrote what.
You just know that they were a part of the collection,
(29:02):
but you don't know who wrote what. But all the
stories are about sex and honey, this is a very
very hot experience to read these stories. Yeah, it's it's
called Anonymous Sex. Have you read it with the company.
(29:22):
It's like a nice thing to like maybe read to
each other. So so wait a minute. I was trying
to read through the whole book and then pick the
ones I wanted to read to fteen, and so I've
only halfway through it. I already want to read the
first one Anonymous Sex. I don't know, Jill, I'm oh,
it's all black. Arthur's usaid, no, all kinds of authors.
(29:47):
They've been calling them smut books and filth books. I've
been reading them for years, but this one isn't like that.
Well they're all I mean those are good too. I
mean those they have their They had one from back
in the day, from the nineties that that we snuck
in red. There was and it's still very few like
this book. It came out of the nighties. It was
called noir, erotic noir or something like that. I can
(30:10):
remember that book, Yeah it was, yeah, I know that. Um,
it's a classic New Airs in there. Yes, it's it's
somebody's gonna know. Somebody who's listening is gonna know, and
they're gonna tweet me or something. But I think Williams
gave me that book. It's it's it came out when
(30:31):
I was like in junior high school and something like that,
and I was reading it nasty, I'm over here. It's
not new, but it's a nice way to connect to
your mind, you know, um, sexually, you know, to see
things in your head before you actually, you know, do
the deeds. You know, reading is fundamental friends, you know,
(30:54):
trying Yeah, that's a good way to try. This hand
track to business as well, you know, spending some time
just breathing into someone you know that you that you
actually like like, not just because you find them physically attractive,
but someone that you actually like. I think for a
long time, um, when I was growing up. Anyway, I
(31:15):
know I sound like an old person, but I don't care. Um, guys,
guys from my experience pick girls that they liked for
different reasons, you know, because she had a gap tube,
or because she had bow legs, or because she had
smooth feet, or because her fingers were you know, double
join it, or because she had freckles was a classic
(31:40):
you you liked, you liked what you liked. And right
now it seems to me like most most guys are picking.
Um it's like copy and paste, you know that, picking
someone that looks like the last someone that looked like
the last someone before that, because they want the approval
of their friends, but they've forgotten or maybe they're just
(32:03):
ignoring the fact. Maybe they're cheating with those other women
you know that they have the bow legs and have
the freckles and have the little you know, muffing around
the middle that they love to bite. You know what
I'm saying, Like something that's happening where unfortunately, Um, it
(32:23):
seems to me that guys are losing their minds. They're
not they're not owning themselves. They don't they don't even
know how to like what they like. And I think
that's really unfortunate. Well, I want to shout out some
of the grown grown ass man shout him that. I
want to shout them out because on on the Good
People's internets about two weeks ago, um my homeboy Joe
(32:48):
Claire posted clature of a woman a woman laying on
her aside, and her little pooch was showing, and he
was like a real ass man, this is it. I
saw polished one of those. Yeah, and it was I
had like a little pooch and I was like, and listen,
and my husband sent me the Lincoln and my d
(33:10):
D M de picture to me, I was just like,
your damn right. I just want to give it up,
because at the end of the day, it's like you said,
what ends up being really sexy is knowing each other.
And that's the truth. That's some sexy ship, even when
it's even when you're just laughing, because we'll crack up laughing,
(33:31):
you know, and it's like, at the end of the
that to me is the it. That's the it. She
know me, I know her. You know. I can. I
can fuss about my little stretch marks or whatever. But
he'd be calling those he'd be like, that's where my
babies came from. Those be a battle scars, or he'll
say he used to call him corduroy. I don't want
to talk about that, but you know, sometimes he'll be like,
(33:55):
what's up, big brown, or say something to me that
it's just like he just know me, and to me,
I wish that for everybody. And it's not really about marriage,
because I don't want people to get into that bag.
Oh age A, you're saying that because you're married. That's
not just about marriage. That's about connection. You either connected
or you're not. So you can put whatever title you
(34:18):
want to put on it. You can put you can
insert whatever people you want, whatever you know, gender, they are,
whatever connected is connected. You can't fake that ship. And
it's sexy and it has the same result every time,
and it takes you to new places. And I'm so
grateful for that because now I love getting he yes,
(34:46):
I didn't know. I feel like I gotta give you,
I gotta gift for I had no idea. I'm so
happy for you. Listening to p Will talk about it,
I was like, but you know, the playing field is
a lot a lot different now. Yeah, now you get
(35:08):
to figure out which way you like it, not just
that way. Maybe see this is what I'm talking about.
On the side, girl, on my stomach, on my stomach,
earl on the skirl girl. There's so many possibilities, baby,
and we are so proud of you, we really are.
(35:29):
Somebody should make it. Somebody should make a little card
or something. Somebody should just send you a little note.
I'm just so grateful. I didn't know. I wanted to
want everybody else to know, to not just not just
about that particularly part, but I mean, damn, it is
too sweet. I am blessing. Life is just too sweet
(35:50):
to to only experience little bits and pieces of you.
So thank you so much for listening to Jay dot podcast.
It is always our pleasure. Love you see how do
(36:10):
you eat an elephant? One by? It time? Hi, their listeners.
It's Amber, the producer of Jay dot l and this
episode the Ladies talked about tracking your menstrual cycle with
a method called cycle tracking. Now there are tons of
resources out there to learn more about the practice. I
want to recommend a book by Alissa Vitti called Woman Code.
(36:34):
I'll share a link to it in the show notes.
In this book, she dives deep into each phase of
the mentrual cycle, from the best time to be creative,
the best time to go on dates, and what to
eat during each phase. I'll also link the flow app
the Ladies discussed today in the show notes, which is
an easy way to jump start your cycle tracking journey
and get to know your body. Ye Hi, if you
(37:08):
have comments on something we said in this episode called
eight six six. Hey Jill, if you want to add
to this conversation, that's eight six six nine five four
five five. Don't forget to tell us your name and
the episode you're referring to. You might just hear your
message on a future episode. Thank you for listening to
(37:30):
Jill Scott Presents Jay dot Ill. The podcast JA dot
Ill is a production of I heart Radio. For more
podcast from I heart Radio, visit the i heart Radio app,
Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows
Welcome to Jay dot m a production of I Heart Radio.
Welcome back to Shane dot Elder podcast. Agel Graydon Danceler.
Your fly is St Claire, I am present and this
(00:22):
this is your friend. This is Jill Scott from North Philly,
a k a. Jilly and uh, welcome to Jay dot
Elga podcast. We've been talking again, of course, and you're
you're walking in on a conversation that we're having about
whole pleasure versus versus the pieces. I guess whole versus pieces.
(00:48):
Maybe that's what it is. We initially started this conversation
talking about receiving oral sex. And I'm just gonna put
it out there because this is this is what we
do on this podcast. I never liked it, friends, I
just never liked it. For many many years. It just
was not my thing until recently, thank you, but but
(01:13):
for many many years. I know, right, it's a whole
world for me, It's a whole new world. Wanted it.
I never wanted that. I'm always allowed it. I allowed
it because I was being gracious, you know, I'm allowing
it because you you know, the mate or the person
(01:33):
you get all excited about it. But I was just
trying to get the penetration and quite frankly, you know,
let's get Yeah. But but this opened up a really
interesting conversation because we're just thinking about, well why that is,
and and and Amber had mentioned that maybe it was
a control thing. Maybe it's about kind of releasing the
(01:54):
control over the situation, or being or being deeply vulnerable
in that moment, or any number of different kind of
things mentally as to why it might be something you're
not really into, which I thought was really worth exploring,
because then it got into another part of the conversation
where I was like, oh, wait a minute, if we
(02:15):
look at this a little different from being like why
do I not like this thing? Into like, well, what
is it that I'm trying to achieve from an intimate moment?
Like what am I trying to get at? You know?
And it's like outside of just kind of I guess,
the immediate pleasure of what sex brings, but just how
we can look at our bodies and and experience that
(02:36):
in a full way. And I thought that's pretty dope. Yeah, No,
it don't seem like it just seems I agree. It
just seemed like some partners are just here to prove
a point. You know, I can do this better than
anybody else could do this, and then I'm gonna show
you on you you know, you know it's like, yeah,
(02:57):
and that's a point, says I'm every dude. I feel
like it's some basic fundamentals. Men feel like there are
certain things that if they master that women will you know,
fall into their arms. And women are just not all
the same in that way. No, definitely not me. It's
not something that turned me out ever. But that's why
men are just as much victims of, you know, these
(03:18):
kind of weird practices as much as we are, because
I think at the end of the day, they enjoy
a full experience too, because you know, it's interesting, Um
Jill said this many episodes back when she talked about
kissing and you know how some couples just stopped kissing,
and it's like, I don't know, here recently and Fatima
(03:41):
always kiss but we spent more time kissing, and that
in and of itself is so sensual and so intense,
and it's just like, and you've done nothing but kiss
at that point and spending ten fifteen minutes just doing that,
I mean, all of those things and we talked about
things like tantric sex, and I have never done that,
(04:03):
but then I realized that I have because I just
call it. I don't have nowhere to go, because it's
like we don't have anywhere to go, so they don't
have to rush. We're not rushing through this. We're not
trying to get to some magical end result, even though
we are. But you know, the point is that it's
an understanding. But it's just like we're here, we're us,
let's test just be us, Let's you know, look at
(04:27):
each other, let's touch each other, let's love each other.
And then the tantric part. A lot a lot of
that is breathing into each other. There's nothing and no
one else around. Like you said, we got time. We
ain't gotta go nowhere, So we take moments to to really,
(04:48):
um connect with your lover spiritually, not just physically. The
there's an art to not touching. There is romance and
not touching as well, and um, you know, I just
I'm feeling kind of away, feeling like, oh no, if
everybody's just watching porn and thinking that that, you know,
(05:10):
think about the things they say. You know, I gotta
beat the pussy up. You know, I killed it. You know, violence,
it's it's all so violent, violent, you know, and everything
and that. I'm like, wait a minute, y'all. I'm like,
it's not all. No, no, not all, not all. But
(05:33):
if that's the only kind you're watching, you've got a
very limited view on what sex and sexuality is like
if you're only listening to guys who say things like
like yeah, but but terms like beat the pussy up
are like regular, Yeah, that's hip hop though. See that's
that's the funny part. I'm like, that'shi, that's hip hop.
And then and every sometimes you do want your pussy
(05:56):
beat up? Yeah, that's what that. I don't never want
my pussy beat up. I made a point to tell
people I don't please. Whatever you do, don't beat this
pussy up. I don't want no scars when you finish.
I don't want no bruises. Don't beat this pussy up.
That don't even turn me on. That drives me out.
I don't want the vision, just the thought of beating
a pussy up. Why why ain't you? I mean, we
(06:21):
didn't have to give me a while set, but you ain't.
You never got to beat my pussy up beat it up,
but he can't live it. Good God. No. Once time
I heard it described as a good friend of ours
wrote a song and in the song he says, tonight,
(06:41):
I'm gonna be bullying you. Oh yeah, well that's what
It's a little softer, but I ain't gonna lie. I
was like, well, I got in the back of the
class of my hand up. A little bully. A little
(07:01):
bully is okay. Yes, you want to tell me what
to do? Okay, A little bully is okay. You can
tell me what to do. You can tell me what
to do. If you can tell me what to do, yes,
you can tell me what to do. You can't tell
me what You can't tell me what to do. You
(07:23):
can't tell me what to do. You just you just can't.
Can't write it takes a certain kind of authority for
me anyway, because I look at myself as a lionesst um,
and I want my lion to to address me as such.
You know, I don't. I get it, I get it,
(07:46):
I get it. I get it. I feel like I
feel like we need to be role specific here in
the sense of that everybody's gonna have their can't or
whatever and this is not about you know, that just
varies from person to person, but the idea that we
(08:07):
don't separate the vagina or separate the sexual organs or
the things that society says are sexy breasts or butts
or whatever, that we don't start we don't separate those
things from a human being, and that we we learn
to humanize the sexual experience and the pleasure experience, and
(08:28):
that that you're in a moment with another person, and
that they're a full person and they have a whole
body and a mind and an emotions, and and that
they're real, you know what I mean, and that they're
not an object. And I think that happens both ways.
And honestly, I feel like men free themselves when they
(08:50):
are treated like that, and just as we do, we
free ourselves when we're treated like that. These two human beings,
even when it's same sex, no matter what it is,
and it's two human beings that respect their humanity and
they go into that situation and it's all about that,
honey king, whatever spectrum of the kinks that you want,
(09:12):
it's fine, But at the end of the day, it's
a person. And that's that's why I feel like love
is so important. Love in the sense, in the larger
sense of love, you know what I mean, but love
friendship you actually like somebody trust trust. I trust that
(09:34):
you're going to choke me. I trust that you're not
going to take me to Thank you exactly exactly. Yeah, yeah,
to put it there. Thank you friend, thank you so yeah,
thank you friend. It's just a lot of folks that
(09:55):
just giving me so many gems tonight, I'm gonna say
thank you, nice, thank you. I'm like texted right now.
I like it when it's so good. All you gotta
do is touch feet and it feels if it's something
you feel it in your in your in your coach,
are you yeah, I am really yeah yeah, but not
(10:21):
like in the mouth right like no, no, no, no, no,
no no, I'm good on that. Just the touch of
the touch, like the foot touch. Yeah, but I really
love a foot. Time you felt that one, Yeah, that's
when you know. That's what I mean for me. That's
the clue you're you're ready, okay, Yeah, yeah, I got
a thing. I definitely have a thing for hands and feet,
(10:45):
you know. But like ages said, everybody's gonna have their
kinks and their proclivities. What we're really talking about is
is connecting with your whole self and not just the
pieces of you. Yeah, somebody's gonna be like, oh I
like your ass, well I like your bru your tits
or whatever, or they want to, you know, just connect
with your vagina, but not with you at all. You
(11:08):
know that happens a lot. I feel like that happens
way too much. But you know the difference because you've
all felt we've all had that well hopefully we've all
had that feeling where you might be having some great sex,
but it's the moment when you guys catch each other's eyes.
It's a moment when it's just like you digging into
each other soul moment and yeah, this is happening too,
(11:30):
but oh oh oh yeah, oh m hmmm, it's a
beautiful thing. More conversation after the break, I will say
(11:56):
this and and to to bring back one of the
things that we earned coming into doing these episodes, where
it's like, you know, so much of the of the
treating another person in that way comes from first kind
of knowing and understanding your body. And you know, I
had no idea that we had come so far in
this journey to kind of like really get to know
(12:20):
your body as a woman and how it functions and
the functions of this body, you know. And just recently
we were it was brought to my attention that a
lot of women are using like even apps to kind
of follow their cycle and all the different things that
happened from the moment you have your period, in times
of your off your period to determine everything from what
(12:43):
you eat to how much you get, how how much
sleep you get, when you should work out. I mean,
these are things that honestly, I have never been in
touch with my body to that level, to where I
allowed my body to dictate all of the things things
that I did for myself, even down to my resting.
(13:03):
And you know, to think that I'm a woman at
at middle age where I am just now discovering some
of those things and even in a more emotional way,
in a more spiritual way, the choosing of the self,
the listening to the self, the trusting the self, you know,
And that was really intense for me. And I really
(13:24):
thought that that that was, you know, just I'm so
proud of the young girl. He's I called the young girls,
the girls, whether you know, I'm so proud of them
because they're bringing that into an actual daily practice much
younger than I learned, and I'm still learning, so this
is actually really new to me. And what of this stuff?
(13:51):
They had a three inch thick cotton pad and a
belt that you put together with safety pends. Safe depended
of your panties. Oh I missed him? Yeah, yeah, can
you imagine it is because of them? No, like we've
come a mind along way. I just love that, just
(14:13):
the concept that we are here and beginning finally really
beginning to understand our bodies. And it's not just for
which is it's not just for you know, duelus, you know,
it's for all of us to have a good grasp
of our bodies. And did y'all know they didn't even
advertise pads on TV till nineteen seventies. I did nineteen
(14:37):
sevent and him hit him. I went to all girls school,
you know, I went to Philadelphia High School for girls
and folks and just walk out with their tampon in
their hand or their pad in their hands. You had
a little bag that you had to put in your
book back, you know, you carry that to the bathroom.
(14:58):
Everybody in the school had a day on period, you
know what I mean, pretty much almost all of the
students had a cycle of some sort, and nonetheless we
were still hiding it from each other. Right, yeah, here
we are here. Now, we're out here now many many
period apps. Now they're making sure they're keeping up with
(15:20):
everything that's going on with us. That's where we are.
I love it. Uh well, listen, I mean, you have
to do what you have to do. And the health
care aspect of it is so important. And again we're
talking about things like you know, and we talk about
her all the time, and we really I'm ashamed of
us that we haven't had her on yet, the sister
from the NA ministry, and that even down to us
(15:41):
really getting into understanding how how much we need to
rest that, I mean, just all of the ways that
we are moving this whole conversation forward is amazing to me.
And I want you. I don't even remember the name
of that app though, like I know you were talking
about it. It's called what is it called? Did you
try it? Like? I have tried it. I have not
done the higher levels yet, but yes I have tried it.
(16:03):
I like it. Mind you, I already had a period
of app But the difference between this one and mine
is that it's just it's way more intricate into telling
you the daily of how you should be expecting to
feel and live and what you should be doing. That's
why I did it, girl. I'm glad I didn't have
this because my poor children probably might not have got
born because that it was not for acts at not
(16:23):
knowing nothing about cool. No, I'm joking, but still, I mean, well,
you you know, you guys know that I'm kind of
a unicorn in that way. That's right. Yeah, I spent
eighteen years without a cycle, and is it and then
(16:43):
it went regular, right, yeah, and then it went regular.
Now it's it's whenever it feels like it. I can't
count on it. You know, it comes when it once,
It goes when it when it once. Wow, my mine
is like clockwork right now. I'm unfortunately it is. Literally
I could set everybody's timers beautiful. I don't know what's
(17:10):
after having children, it just reverted back to some sort
of seventeen year old cycle where it's just like bam,
every twenty eight days, bow bow bow bow. Yeah. And
I don't I don't that I'm not used to that,
but it has it's it's rolling. It's a couple of
months and I don't even blink like whole you know.
(17:34):
I love that we are all three so different. I'm
like even in this moment in this flow story because
I'm like, yeah, this five broid cycle right here, child,
I had my doctor said I'm gonna give you this bill.
So did your your periods be lighter? Right? The catch? Well,
she didn't tell me. The catch was she say, you
was gonna have, um, like, three weeks of a period.
We can talk after you. They had three weeks of
(17:55):
a period on a vacation in Jamaica, and I was like, oh,
it's lighter, thank you. Dr. However, I've been on this
motherfucker for three weeks and so when does it go away? Oh?
Shout out to the system. You know, it's all good.
You know we figured out well. You know they're also
talking about how came out. I saw a tweet, so
(18:16):
I want to make sure i'd let y'all know I
didn't read an article or a book. This is a
tweet that was made about how that that common practice
of giving teenage girls birth control pills to control things
like acne and things like that has has has has
been proven that there's lots of carcinogens and stuff like
that have been I mean it's bad, like the implications,
(18:37):
the long term health implications of that for a generation
of girls, because you know that was commonplace when free samples, yea,
they used the doctors. They had no problem giving free
samples of birth control pills. What listen. I didn't listen.
I wasn't afraid I was gonna get more titties. And
I was like, oh my god, I don't want no
more titties. Just please, I'll be I don't have a
(19:00):
period anyway, kindly something three can all agree on. The
Delicious Crew, I love it. That was. That was the reason.
To the Delicious Crew, though, you give me birth control
to get my cycle to regulate, And I was like,
I'm cool. Does not have it? Man, I was like
a pass forward going to wear white. Oh summer long.
(19:26):
I'm just so jealous. I'm gonna tell you something. I've
never been on birth control pills. The first birth control
I was ever on was something that was actually pretty
bad for women. Later on down the line, they realized
was something called depot rivera, which is that I remember
that the pill in the arm, right, Yeah, yeah, I
was on that after my first or second one of
(19:48):
those two. No, it was after my second child, because um,
I was like, yeah, two kids is a lie. So
I got one. Yeah, I got that, and my hair thinned,
my eyesight got worse, and it took me no time
to start to notice it. And I was like, yeah,
(20:08):
I'm done with this, and let me tell you all
what was the big gag. The big gag was they
told me that, oh, it's such a strong medicine that
you know, you don't have to worry about getting pregnant
for at least a year. You can be off it
for like a year. Girl, I got off that damn thing.
Two months later I was pregnant. Yeah, and that was
(20:29):
just baby three. I see you. I'm about to say
any any that's why it Yeah, that's why. That's why
Dea and Nina are the closest thing to stair step
babies that I have. Out of the whole six, they're
the closest. Is that the classy way of saying ghetto twins.
First of all, I'm about to quit you again, cut her,
(20:52):
cut her, cut her, Mike off step stairs, step Okay,
I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I see it's the lack of
filter for me that is about the proper, the proper,
politically incorrect term you're looking for. It's Irish twins. Okay.
So if you're gonna say something, if you're gonna say
(21:14):
something foul, you're gonna say it about this white folks.
You're gonna say about the black people who said that
the ghetto got to do with black folks. It ain't
start with black folks. You got Irish. Come on, now,
you got me o that and you're right and you're
right and I'm wrong. How about that you are right
and I'm wrong? One time? Ever, I'm gonna take this.
(21:36):
I'm gonna take this time, and I'm gonna put my
head down. Yes, no, no, no, no, because because silence. Yes,
it's just highly educated people. I don't know if y'all
know this. I'm just saying so I know it. No. No.
The reason why I had to acknowledge is because it
was so dead wrong to equate blackness with ghetto this
(22:00):
that I just was like, oh, that is so foul. Agent.
You us have to actually take responsibility for that. That
is foul. It was almost my point is it was
almost a trap. But yeah, no, the girls. The girls
are really close together because like you know, it's just
like and it's so hard to navigate this stuff like
for for for like uter in health stuff like and
(22:21):
and and that girl and having babies and stuff, oh,
having babies and everything. Oh my god, like you called
this situation. Don't know even some women have never even
seen their own servis you got a whole human being
of this thing, and you've never even seen it. I'm
supposed to have seen you. Have you seen You've had
(22:48):
a speculum, right, They've been going in there and open
the next time they go and look at it. Asked
them for a mirror and show you what it looked like.
I'm scared what I'm taking out. Okay, okay, okay, you
said you you made a little statement about your fist. Yeah,
your vagina don't look like this, But that's what they
told me. That's why I did that. Okay, I'm gonna
(23:10):
I'm gonna try that. Oh my god, you mean a
picture of while you're getting a pop smear of pelvic?
Oh lord, y'all did that? Am I the only person
who's never did that? It wasn't my choice. Mirror, it
wasn't my choice. And doctor was like my wife, and
I was like, oh yeah, it wasn't something that I
necessarily wanted to be prepared. It's making me sweat just
thinking about it. But the fascinating We're gonna take a
(23:36):
quick break and then we'll be right back. Think about
all of this time, all of this time that women
have not been aware of themselves, all of all of
this time, all of this time not knowing how to
(23:59):
have an orgasm, not not not understanding that there's nothing
wrong with your pleasure. Um, how many women suffered, you know,
just because it didn't understand it. It It was supposed to
be mutually beneficial sex and and and sexuality is supposed
to mutually beneficial. So here we are in a state
of being where we get to understand more about ourselves,
(24:23):
about what we want, about what feels good, and being
able to say that this, this doesn't give me pleasure.
How many women suffered in marriages where they hated having
sex with their husband, you know, just hated it and
couldn't even find the words to to say why it was.
So you know, um, I have a girlfriend actually, Um,
(24:44):
who who really beautiful. Her husband is really beautiful as well.
Oh my god, they're gorgeous. But sex is very painful
for her, very very painful for her. I don't know
why it is the way that it is. I don't
know how they're you're moving forward through it, but um,
(25:04):
that is, and just know that it's a real thing.
That's that's a real thing. But that's where oral sex.
We're knowing each other's bodies were, intimacy and all those
understanding that comes in handy in a moment like that,
because and also to eventually all of us get older,
and let's say, I mean you're I mean in your sixties, seventies, eighties,
(25:26):
we're saying, I mean, I'm well, sometimes men can't do
oh you know right, or even you might have vaginal dryness,
you might have issues with all the menopause. The menopause,
(25:47):
both men and women experience a lot of changes in
the body. So if you don't, if all you have
is your genitalia and then that goes away, then what
do you have? Hello, This is why we're having this
conversation because it's not just uh, sex and pleasure is
(26:07):
not just your genitalia. It's more than that. It's a
mental game, it's a spiritual game. It's touch and it's
it's not just touching in the parts that you're thinking.
It's touch on the foreheads, touched on the head itself, hands,
the neck, the back, the feet, the thigh, the knee,
the leg, all of these parts. Is what we're talking
(26:29):
about when we're saying a whole experience, not just an
h O L E experience. You feel me like, this
is what what we're trying to get to you today,
is that you're more than just the some of your parts,
your your entire being. Your eyes. Anybody ever licked your eyes?
(26:50):
My sweet anybody anybody ever, oh my, oh my, what
a nice time. Anybody ever licked the palm of your hand?
Any I do you ever suck your fingers? You know
what I'm saying, That that part that right before you
know where you're meets your ass, that that part right
(27:12):
there with somebody, just hold that real tight, all you
into them, all of the party on neck right there,
jail that back, party on neck right right there, that
all of these things. If you're not experiencing that, maybe
you might want to slow down and meet somebody like
(27:35):
I have real conversations with someone, laugh with them, get
to get to know who they are, because you're missing
out on something that I personally feel so valuable to
your humanity, being able to connect with someone on on
many levels at one time. It's beautiful. M fuck y'all.
(27:59):
I mean, I mean, let's let's just let's let's let's
just be real. What we are ultimately talking about is
seduction and understanding how that works because it it can
start in many, many different ways. It's just like I
was reading this book, UM Jason Reynolds, who was like
(28:20):
one of my favorite um kid authors, and um he
wrote many books, but he wrote he's kind of famous
for having written Miles and Morales UM Black spider Man,
a story which, by the way, has been banned by
several school districts recently since they're banning all these black
books insane. But we'll talk about that on another podcast.
(28:41):
But the thing is that UM Jason Reynolds UM contributed
to a book called Anonymous Sex and What the And
it's a bunch of short stories from a bunch of
different authors, but none of them are named in the
story they wrote, so you don't know who wrote what.
You just know that they were a part of the collection,
(29:02):
but you don't know who wrote what. But all the
stories are about sex and honey, this is a very
very hot experience to read these stories. Yeah, it's it's
called Anonymous Sex. Have you read it with the company.
(29:22):
It's like a nice thing to like maybe read to
each other. So so wait a minute. I was trying
to read through the whole book and then pick the
ones I wanted to read to fteen, and so I've
only halfway through it. I already want to read the
first one Anonymous Sex. I don't know, Jill, I'm oh,
it's all black. Arthur's usaid, no, all kinds of authors.
(29:47):
They've been calling them smut books and filth books. I've
been reading them for years, but this one isn't like that.
Well they're all I mean those are good too. I
mean those they have their They had one from back
in the day, from the nineties that that we snuck
in red. There was and it's still very few like
this book. It came out of the nighties. It was
called noir, erotic noir or something like that. I can
(30:10):
remember that book, Yeah it was, yeah, I know that. Um,
it's a classic New Airs in there. Yes, it's it's
somebody's gonna know. Somebody who's listening is gonna know, and
they're gonna tweet me or something. But I think Williams
gave me that book. It's it's it came out when
(30:31):
I was like in junior high school and something like that,
and I was reading it nasty, I'm over here. It's
not new, but it's a nice way to connect to
your mind, you know, um, sexually, you know, to see
things in your head before you actually, you know, do
the deeds. You know, reading is fundamental friends, you know,
(30:54):
trying Yeah, that's a good way to try. This hand
track to business as well, you know, spending some time
just breathing into someone you know that you that you
actually like like, not just because you find them physically attractive,
but someone that you actually like. I think for a
long time, um, when I was growing up. Anyway, I
(31:15):
know I sound like an old person, but I don't care. Um, guys,
guys from my experience pick girls that they liked for
different reasons, you know, because she had a gap tube,
or because she had bow legs, or because she had
smooth feet, or because her fingers were you know, double
join it, or because she had freckles was a classic
(31:40):
you you liked, you liked what you liked. And right
now it seems to me like most most guys are picking.
Um it's like copy and paste, you know that, picking
someone that looks like the last someone that looked like
the last someone before that, because they want the approval
of their friends, but they've forgotten or maybe they're just
(32:03):
ignoring the fact. Maybe they're cheating with those other women
you know that they have the bow legs and have
the freckles and have the little you know, muffing around
the middle that they love to bite. You know what
I'm saying, Like something that's happening where unfortunately, Um, it
(32:23):
seems to me that guys are losing their minds. They're
not they're not owning themselves. They don't they don't even
know how to like what they like. And I think
that's really unfortunate. Well, I want to shout out some
of the grown grown ass man shout him that. I
want to shout them out because on on the Good
People's internets about two weeks ago, um my homeboy Joe
(32:48):
Claire posted clature of a woman a woman laying on
her aside, and her little pooch was showing, and he
was like a real ass man, this is it. I
saw polished one of those. Yeah, and it was I
had like a little pooch and I was like, and listen,
and my husband sent me the Lincoln and my d
(33:10):
D M de picture to me, I was just like,
your damn right. I just want to give it up,
because at the end of the day, it's like you said,
what ends up being really sexy is knowing each other.
And that's the truth. That's some sexy ship, even when
it's even when you're just laughing, because we'll crack up laughing,
(33:31):
you know, and it's like, at the end of the
that to me is the it. That's the it. She
know me, I know her. You know. I can. I
can fuss about my little stretch marks or whatever. But
he'd be calling those he'd be like, that's where my
babies came from. Those be a battle scars, or he'll
say he used to call him corduroy. I don't want
to talk about that, but you know, sometimes he'll be like,
(33:55):
what's up, big brown, or say something to me that
it's just like he just know me, and to me,
I wish that for everybody. And it's not really about marriage,
because I don't want people to get into that bag.
Oh age A, you're saying that because you're married. That's
not just about marriage. That's about connection. You either connected
or you're not. So you can put whatever title you
(34:18):
want to put on it. You can put you can
insert whatever people you want, whatever you know, gender, they are,
whatever connected is connected. You can't fake that ship. And
it's sexy and it has the same result every time,
and it takes you to new places. And I'm so
grateful for that because now I love getting he yes,
(34:46):
I didn't know. I feel like I gotta give you,
I gotta gift for I had no idea. I'm so
happy for you. Listening to p Will talk about it,
I was like, but you know, the playing field is
a lot a lot different now. Yeah, now you get
(35:08):
to figure out which way you like it, not just
that way. Maybe see this is what I'm talking about.
On the side, girl, on my stomach, on my stomach,
earl on the skirl girl. There's so many possibilities, baby,
and we are so proud of you, we really are.
(35:29):
Somebody should make it. Somebody should make a little card
or something. Somebody should just send you a little note.
I'm just so grateful. I didn't know. I wanted to
want everybody else to know, to not just not just
about that particularly part, but I mean, damn, it is
too sweet. I am blessing. Life is just too sweet
(35:50):
to to only experience little bits and pieces of you.
So thank you so much for listening to Jay dot podcast.
It is always our pleasure. Love you see how do
(36:10):
you eat an elephant? One by? It time? Hi, their listeners.
It's Amber, the producer of Jay dot l and this
episode the Ladies talked about tracking your menstrual cycle with
a method called cycle tracking. Now there are tons of
resources out there to learn more about the practice. I
want to recommend a book by Alissa Vitti called Woman Code.
(36:34):
I'll share a link to it in the show notes.
In this book, she dives deep into each phase of
the mentrual cycle, from the best time to be creative,
the best time to go on dates, and what to
eat during each phase. I'll also link the flow app
the Ladies discussed today in the show notes, which is
an easy way to jump start your cycle tracking journey
and get to know your body. Ye Hi, if you
(37:08):
have comments on something we said in this episode called
eight six six. Hey Jill, if you want to add
to this conversation, that's eight six six nine five four
five five. Don't forget to tell us your name and
the episode you're referring to. You might just hear your
message on a future episode. Thank you for listening to
(37:30):
Jill Scott Presents Jay dot Ill. The podcast JA dot
Ill is a production of I heart Radio. For more
podcast from I heart Radio, visit the i heart Radio app,
Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows
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