July 16, 2024 • 17 mins
JoJo's getting vulnerable... We know her as the pop icon who doesn't let hate get to her, but what do her low moments look like? She's been through a lot in her lifetime and she's ready to share these memories with us.
Get ready to see a new side of JoJo Siwa as she goes into depth about internet hate, losing friends and the one thing that will always make her emotional.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
You're listening to Jojo Siwa Now with me Jojo Siwa
and iHeart Radio Podcast. Welcome back to this lovely thing
we like to call Jojo Siwa. Now. Now, I would
say grabby box of tissues, But honestly, this is probably
gonna be funny more than it is sad. I'm gonna
be talking about the five times in my life that
I like, really couldn't stop crying. There's a lot more
(00:23):
than five, but I've narrowed it down to some of
my favorites. A lot of these actually are stories that
I'm actually pretty sure. All of them are stories that
I've never really shared before. Some of them have different meanings.
Some of them are happy tears, some of them are
sad tears. I'm not necessarily a crier, but if I
get like emotionally frustrated, boom, it is waterworks every single time.
(00:47):
I mean, I feel like that's normal, Like that's everybody
in the world when you get emotionally frustrated. But nonetheless
I am one of those people. Anyways, y'all, it has
been such a good few fucking weeks before I get
into this. Oh my god, it has literally been the
best time of my life. Getting to do all these
pride fests. It's been so fun getting to the set.
Now Guilty Pleasure, Oh my gosh, the EP. I'm so
(01:09):
excited for all this music to finally be out.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
It's been years in.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
The making, and uh, it's been a fight to get
my vision exactly the way that I want it.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
But we are here.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
We are queer, and we are so fucking happy to
be alive, and I am so soaked. Y'all, if you
haven't already, go check out Guilty Pleasure, and Uh, without
any further ado, let's dive in to the five times
I couldn't stop crying now. First one, we're actually starting
this off kind of sad. First one's probably about as
sad as it gets. That lies personally for me. The
(01:40):
third one, but for for y'all, you're gonna be like,
oh that's dad, you were.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
A little baby.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
But yeah, So the first time first one, and I'm
gonna talk about is actually when I was on my
very first TV show, and this was my first experience
with hate and online bullying and how foul this world is.
It was after the first episode at aired, and if
you don't know adc Abby's Ultimate Dance Competition is the
first show that I was on. First TV show. Its
(02:06):
reality show. It essentially was, you know, start with twelve dancers.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
One gets eliminated.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Every single week, you dance, you to a challenge. It's fun,
it's reality TV show, it's Abby Lee, It's a Dance
Mom spinoff.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
It is what it is.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Anyway, So I was on season two of the show.
I was the youngest. I was nine years old during filming.
I was ten years old when it came out. So
I was just I mean, I was a baby. Anyways,
the first episode airs and Abby posted something on her Instagram.
Abby Lee had said, you know, who do you want
to go home next week? And I read the comments
as one does at ten years old, and it was
(02:39):
every single one was jojo jojo jojo jojo jojo jojo jojo.
Every single comment was jojo. And I broke down and
like I was, I mean, I was a baby. I
don't think i'd ever really like cried, cried like that.
I'd never been sad, said like that, and I my
mom says she'll never forget the visual like me walking
down the stairs as she was sitting in the living
(03:00):
room and our stairs kind of connected to our living room.
So like at the last five stairs you could see
into the living room and living roo. We could see
to the stairs, and I mean, I can picture it too.
I had little braids in my hair and I walked
down the stairs like red face, sobbing. Now think about
me is when I cry, I cry like cry, cry, cry, cry,
(03:20):
and like you can tell that I have been crying.
I get a web face. It is very dramatic and
I can't pull it together when I'm crying. Anyways, So
I come down their I was like who and she
was like, oh my god, what happened?
Speaker 2 (03:31):
Like are you okay?
Speaker 1 (03:33):
And I was like yeah, just look what everyone's saying.
And she was like what do you mean? And I
was like, look at Abby's post and she was reading it.
She was like Jojo, let me ask you a question.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
And I was like what is it. She was like,
do you go home?
Speaker 1 (03:46):
And I was like, well no, and she was like okay,
So then why do you care what these people are saying?
And I was like, because they're being so mean and she.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
Said no, they're not.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
She said they're saying your name and I said huh,
And I like kind of like pause for a second,
like they're saying your name. They're not saying anyone else's name.
They know you and they know your name. And funny enough,
I'm just literally just thinking about this now. I'm just
realizing this.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
Now.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
That was the start of me being people's guilty pleasure.
No pun intended, Absolutely pun intended. But I uh yeah,
that was kind of my first experience with like true
internet hate. And it was hard for me to understand
that because I didn't understand why everyone wanted me to
go home, you know, so obviously my mind goes, they
want me to go home because they hate me, you
know what I mean? And uh, I didn't understand that
(04:31):
it was just a reality TV show and that's how
it's going to be in like the like least favorite
is actually the favorite. That's like the weirdest thing about
reality TV is the least favorite is actually the favorite.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
I mean, look at like at.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
Fucking vander Pump, like Tom Sandival like is is like
he is vander Pump right now. He is the show
right now. Without him, that show wouldn't be at what
it is. And it's like the villain of the story
arc of a reality show is normally the one that
like is carrying it on their back, and of course
vander Pump is very accessful cast. But think about it,
(05:03):
and that's the good dance moms. People say Abby was
the villain, and honestly like a villain or not to me,
like she carried that fucking show.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
On her back.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
Would not have been possible without her, and that's that's that.
So I guess ADC, I wasn't a villain, but I
was the hater one. I mean it couldn't be the villain.
I was literally nine. Yeah, I was really upset that night,
and I will I'll never forget that. That kind of got
my hate experience started, and then I just got fucking
used to it. Here I am today still getting aided
on which ry I wrote a song about it. Fun fact,
(05:32):
bitch I wrote guilty Pleasure suck It. I also wrote yesterday,
tomorrows today, just saying.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
It doesn't matter. It absolutely doesn't matter anyway.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
Second time is after my first Pride concert in Miami.
This was back April fourteenth. I know it's April fourteenth
because I actually have a hoodie that says Miami Pride,
and I put the wrong data on the hoodie that
was my fault I put April fifteenth. Anyways, it was
April fourteenth. It was my first live performance as an adult,
and I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed after. I didn't
(06:03):
really know how to feel right after. I was very numb.
Like I came out station, I was like, what the
just happened? Because I didn't expect it to be a success,
Like I thought there was gonna be like a couple
hundred people there, like I don't know, and it was crazy.
There was fifty five thousand people. The singing of Karma
was actually insane and I've never heard anything like it
while performing before. And so I came out stations. I
(06:24):
was just kind of in shocked, and I was like,
did I do good? Like I kept asking my mom
like was I okay?
Speaker 2 (06:28):
Did I do good?
Speaker 1 (06:28):
Like did I fuck up? Like I don't know what
to think right now? Did I go full out? And
like it was really questioning everything. And then all of
a sudden, the president of Miami probably came up to
it was like, hey, we want you to know that
you set the record for the most people in attendance.
There was fifty five thousand people watching. We have never
seen anything like that, like, I hope you're really proud
of yourself. And when he said that, I looked at
(06:49):
him and I actually, I do this thing with my
best friend Malia where we take a lap and we
just run away. And I took a lap. I literally
ran away and squatted down. I started sobbing, stood up,
and I was like, I don't know what I'm feeling
right now. I'm just so happy, so sad, like I'm sobbing,
I'm I'm not sad, like I'm happy, and I couldn't
pull it together, but I was just I was so
overwhelmed with like a confused feeling of like how am
(07:12):
I supposed to feel right now? And then it was
just like the most happy feeling, like we fucking did it,
and that that made me really happy.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
That made me really proud.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
Ah see this one, this third one is the like
heart wrencher for me.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
This one's very hard.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
So I have a best friend and for the sake
of this podcast, we're gonna call this best friend who
what's a fun name? All right, I'm gonna use the
code name that they call me, So they call me Julian.
So whenever we're in public, they're like what's up, Julian,
And uh, that's kind of like our running joke. Anyways,
So their name is not Julian, but for right now,
for this story, I'm gonna call it Julian. It it
(07:47):
is crazy, I'm gonna call her Julian. So me and
this friend, we are best best best friends. We recently
became friends last year, right on my twentieth birthday, so
we've been friends for a little over a year. Doing
meet those people that you just like click with and
you just bond with immediately and you're like, you're my people.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
How did I have a life before you? I don't know.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
Anyways, So this is Julian. I kind of like calling
her that. Now I'm gonna steal it. Julian and I
were very much so like that. We got very close,
very fast, and it was a lot of fun. We
have a very common interest and we just we bonded.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
Anyways. They have a.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
Job where they work on a cruise ship, and so
they are always always busy, always working, always on a
cruise and then they have a couple months off here
and there, and then they're back on ship working and
so Seria hard dang out. It's very hard to see them.
But anyways, they actually came to La for a week
and we hung out for a week and it was amazing.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
They stayed at the house. We had so much fun together.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
She's literally the best fucking humor of my best friend,
Like just having the best time, so many laughs, so
many good times. Anyways, the morning came where I had
to take her to the airport and say goodbye, and
that I mean I was like half strong while we
were at the airport.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
I really was, And I told her, I was like,
you gotta go.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
I was like the tears are coming, Like you got
to go now, and like we have a very like
fun relationship where it's like very like dickheady, like very buntery,
like we are not nice for.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
Each other, but like we love each other with all
of our hearts. And I was like, dude, you got
to get the fuck out of here right now, Like
you cannot see me cry because I'm going to.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
Miss you you And it was just it was hard
because we got to spend a week together, and then
I was like, we are like not going to see
each other for so long.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
This is sick, twisted, devious, sinister.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
Evil, and so I yeah, I just started melting down
and got in the car and when I tell you,
the forty five minute car ride home from.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
The airport, that's the hardest I've ever cried in my life.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
And then I came home and I was like, you
know what, clearly, I just need to be sad right now.
Came in, came in my bedroom and just kept crying.
And I cried for probably another hour, and I got
up and worked out, cried while I worked out, Like
it was like days worth of crying. It was a lot.
It was very hard. I don't know why it hit
me very so hard. But I am a lover and
(09:55):
like when it comes to my friends and my people,
like I just love to give, give, give attention, and
so I got really used to being able to give
her that attention in that week and it was so
fun and like just like the literal best times. And
then all of a sudden she had to go and
go back to work and I was like, what is
this bullshit? Absolutely not, so I stopped. But nonetheless, we
got to see each other couple months later. We're gonna
(10:15):
get see each other in a couple months. It's great.
Our friendship works, and we have a lot of fun. Anyways,
that's that one that was my like sad one. This
one's cute, not gonna lie. When I was like five
years old, we went on to Disney Cruise. Didn't understand
the concept of the safety like drill thought we were
going down in flames, like thought the boat was sinking
for sure. So started stobbing then couldn't stop. My parents
(10:38):
were like, you need a can it? And I didn't
can it. And the second time it was also on
the same trip, same Disney cruise. When it was over,
I had the best time. It was five Like a
Disney cruisal. Five yearld is the coolest thing ever. Disney
cruise to anybody's coolest thing ever. But five year old,
you like really think you're on the ship would Mackey
fucking mouse, Like it's the best time ever. And like
saying goodbye they make it so sad. They sing the songs, No,
(10:58):
it's time to say goodbye, doll family, m I see
k U y m o us and like that's sick
twisted dbs to a five year old.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
It's like, how how are you gonna do that to
a five year old? That is mean cruel?
Speaker 1 (11:12):
So I was sobbing Deva say, this is a really
good picture of me where I'm red in the face,
just sobbing. Last one, I'm actually I'm gonna give you
a little bit of a bonus one after this last one,
but quick. Last one is Dream the Tour. Honestly, like
(11:34):
every beginning leg of Dream the Tour, first show and
every last show on Dream the Tour, I would always
sob I'd stop because I was so grateful and I
saw because I was so.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
Sad it was over.
Speaker 1 (11:42):
It was just non stop tears. The worst was the
last last show ever on Dream the Tour. I was
sobbing on stage the old night because I was like,
oh my god, the last time I'm gonna sing word party,
oh my god, the last time I'm gonna sing time
to celebrate.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
Oh my gosh, last time.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
Like every single song you got water works, every single one, okay,
and the last last little bonus and then I'm gonna
give you is on Special Forces. Honestly, I cried every
day on Special Forces come day one, like so the
way Special Force was edited, and I never really like
to give like insider scoop to how TV shows are edited.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
But I'm gonna go into for a second for this one.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
So if you watch Special Forces episode one, they use
an interview with me where I'm crying to the DS
saying that I missed my family.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
That was actually on day six.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
But to make Special Forces makes sense, you know, they
do have to edit in, they have to play certain
storylines earlier and later, and so it's a Teve.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
Show, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
But at the end of the day, that was at
day six and day one, I'm not gonna lie have stoked,
Like I was like, fuck, yeah, I'm alone for the
first time. Whoo whoop, like newly twenty year old, let's
party it up. And come day three, I was like,
I'm so sad. I was like, this is the sadest
day of my life. Like every day, every day I
gave you waterworks, I gave you tears. I would go
out and I uh, I one way I would comfort
(12:57):
myself as I would talk to the Moon. And I
grew up very close relationship with the Moon, because as
I grew close to my other fellow recruits, I would
are especially.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
Nick and Tyler.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
You didn't really have anyone that you already knew, And
so I talked to the moon and it sounds cheesy,
but you get delusional. And so I was like, hey, Moon,
I need you to deliver these messages for me. And
I would talk to my best friends, and I would
talk to my family, and I'd talk to my parents,
and I would trust that the moon delivered those messages safely.
And the reason why it brought me comfort is because
I was like, no matter where my people are, they
(13:27):
are going to see this same moon. And for some reason,
like I love doing that. If like one of my
friends is having a bad dan and I'm not there
to comfort them, I'll be like, hey, go outside real quick,
look at the moon. No that I can't see you
and I can't hugue, but we are looking at the
same thing right now. And that to me like brought
me so much comfort on Special Forces, and honestly it's
something that I still use to the day. But yeah, no,
(13:50):
Special Forces gave you waterworks. I could not stop crying
all the time on Special Forces. Like those times I
was like, Okay, you gotta pull it together, like this
is getting psycho like five. I end fine to find it,
but you just, I mean, you could. I never cried
like during a task, but I always cried after the task,
The one that got me the most is the shooting task,
because I was I don't know, I always feel like
(14:12):
I told this story and I'm always like, I've never
told this story publicly before, but I've definitely had to
say that before. And so I have told this story publicly,
but I don't tell it often. I was in a
shooting when I was a kid. I was five years
old in the Vonmar shooting in Omaha, Nebraska, and it
was me and my mom and it was very scary.
We were on our way to the register where the
armed gunman went and we my mom actually ended up
(14:35):
as we were going to that register, she looked at
the skirt again that she was gonna buy, and she
realized it didn't have sequence on the back, and so
she was like, you know what, it's an expensive skirt,
Like it doesn't even have a sequence on the back,
Like let's just go. And as we were like like
putting it back to go, that's when he went to
that register. And so it was very very scary, and
like I obviously, like I mean, I was five years old,
(14:57):
and so I don't like I don't.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
Remember the like I don't remember it.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
But for some reason while driving through the gunfire on
Special Forces, like my brain and body like went into
like whoa, like full body trauma response, Like it was
something that I'd never experienced before, which was crazy anyway, So.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
I ended Special Forces. This was the bonus that I
was trying to get to.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
After the show ended, you turn in your armband, right,
and so ds Billy kept He keeps everybody's arm bands
from all of his seasons. And he messaged me and
he was like, hey, I want to send you something,
like what's your address?
Speaker 2 (15:31):
Opened it up.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
It was a purse that his wife had made, and
then it also was my arm band and he was like,
I really He was like normally I keep these, but
I thought you would really like it, and like we
loved having you.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
You were a joy to us.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
And when I touched it, my like, I like just
like broke, like it took me right back there.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
It was very scary. It was very weird, very weird
feeling for my body.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
So Special Forces got a lot of tears out of me,
but a lot of good tears. Can't complain very grateful
I happened. Very grateful I did it. I cry when
things are over, and so that's a that's a good
thing for me. And once my voice is over, I sobbed.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
James Jr. Soab Mas Sanger sobbed Dance while I'm sobbed.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Dancing with the Stars, Oh my god, saw me at
the end of Dance with the Stars was so bad.
Jenna was like, Jojo, you look like a sore, fucking
loser right now. Pull it together. And I was like,
I am not crying because we got second. I am
crying because it's done. And she was like, I know
that everyone knows that, but anyone who doesn't know you
was thinking you're crying because you got a second.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
I was like, I could care less. I'm just sad
it's over. Anyways, that's enough.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
I kind of gave you like seven or eight things
that made me cry and made me keep crying. I
hope you enjoyed this episode of Jojo Zema Now. I
love you all so much. Thank you so much for listening.
Be sure to check out Guilty Pleasure everywhere you listen
to music.
Speaker 2 (16:43):
My new EP. I'm so happy with it.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
You can get my sick ass Karma merch if you
go to Jojaca dot com.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
I love y'all.
Speaker 1 (16:51):
Be good, Be safe. Remember Karma's a bitch. Remember I'm
a guilty pleasure. Remember to choose your fighter, and choose
them wiser for sure. Remember that yesterday is tomorrow's today.
And if you don't know what that means, really think
about it and one day I'll explain it one day promise.
That is I love y'all.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
This is thank you so much for listening, everybody.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
Be sure to follow us on Instagram and TikTok at
Jojesua Now podcast.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
Be sure to write us a
Speaker 1 (17:17):
Review and maybe, if you're feeling to leave us five stars,
I'll see you next week
You're listening to Jojo Siwa Now with me Jojo Siwa
and iHeart Radio Podcast. Welcome back to this lovely thing
we like to call Jojo Siwa. Now. Now, I would
say grabby box of tissues, But honestly, this is probably
gonna be funny more than it is sad. I'm gonna
be talking about the five times in my life that
I like, really couldn't stop crying. There's a lot more
(00:23):
than five, but I've narrowed it down to some of
my favorites. A lot of these actually are stories that
I'm actually pretty sure. All of them are stories that
I've never really shared before. Some of them have different meanings.
Some of them are happy tears, some of them are
sad tears. I'm not necessarily a crier, but if I
get like emotionally frustrated, boom, it is waterworks every single time.
(00:47):
I mean, I feel like that's normal, Like that's everybody
in the world when you get emotionally frustrated. But nonetheless
I am one of those people. Anyways, y'all, it has
been such a good few fucking weeks before I get
into this. Oh my god, it has literally been the
best time of my life. Getting to do all these
pride fests. It's been so fun getting to the set.
Now Guilty Pleasure, Oh my gosh, the EP. I'm so
(01:09):
excited for all this music to finally be out.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
It's been years in.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
The making, and uh, it's been a fight to get
my vision exactly the way that I want it.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
But we are here.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
We are queer, and we are so fucking happy to
be alive, and I am so soaked. Y'all, if you
haven't already, go check out Guilty Pleasure, and Uh, without
any further ado, let's dive in to the five times
I couldn't stop crying now. First one, we're actually starting
this off kind of sad. First one's probably about as
sad as it gets. That lies personally for me. The
(01:40):
third one, but for for y'all, you're gonna be like,
oh that's dad, you were.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
A little baby.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
But yeah, So the first time first one, and I'm
gonna talk about is actually when I was on my
very first TV show, and this was my first experience
with hate and online bullying and how foul this world is.
It was after the first episode at aired, and if
you don't know adc Abby's Ultimate Dance Competition is the
first show that I was on. First TV show. Its
(02:06):
reality show. It essentially was, you know, start with twelve dancers.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
One gets eliminated.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Every single week, you dance, you to a challenge. It's fun,
it's reality TV show, it's Abby Lee, It's a Dance
Mom spinoff.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
It is what it is.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Anyway, So I was on season two of the show.
I was the youngest. I was nine years old during filming.
I was ten years old when it came out. So
I was just I mean, I was a baby. Anyways,
the first episode airs and Abby posted something on her Instagram.
Abby Lee had said, you know, who do you want
to go home next week? And I read the comments
as one does at ten years old, and it was
(02:39):
every single one was jojo jojo jojo jojo jojo jojo jojo.
Every single comment was jojo. And I broke down and
like I was, I mean, I was a baby. I
don't think i'd ever really like cried, cried like that.
I'd never been sad, said like that, and I my
mom says she'll never forget the visual like me walking
down the stairs as she was sitting in the living
(03:00):
room and our stairs kind of connected to our living room.
So like at the last five stairs you could see
into the living room and living roo. We could see
to the stairs, and I mean, I can picture it too.
I had little braids in my hair and I walked
down the stairs like red face, sobbing. Now think about
me is when I cry, I cry like cry, cry, cry, cry,
(03:20):
and like you can tell that I have been crying.
I get a web face. It is very dramatic and
I can't pull it together when I'm crying. Anyways, So
I come down their I was like who and she
was like, oh my god, what happened?
Speaker 2 (03:31):
Like are you okay?
Speaker 1 (03:33):
And I was like yeah, just look what everyone's saying.
And she was like what do you mean? And I
was like, look at Abby's post and she was reading it.
She was like Jojo, let me ask you a question.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
And I was like what is it. She was like,
do you go home?
Speaker 1 (03:46):
And I was like, well no, and she was like okay,
So then why do you care what these people are saying?
And I was like, because they're being so mean and she.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
Said no, they're not.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
She said they're saying your name and I said huh,
And I like kind of like pause for a second,
like they're saying your name. They're not saying anyone else's name.
They know you and they know your name. And funny enough,
I'm just literally just thinking about this now. I'm just
realizing this.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
Now.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
That was the start of me being people's guilty pleasure.
No pun intended, Absolutely pun intended. But I uh yeah,
that was kind of my first experience with like true
internet hate. And it was hard for me to understand
that because I didn't understand why everyone wanted me to
go home, you know, so obviously my mind goes, they
want me to go home because they hate me, you
know what I mean? And uh, I didn't understand that
(04:31):
it was just a reality TV show and that's how
it's going to be in like the like least favorite
is actually the favorite. That's like the weirdest thing about
reality TV is the least favorite is actually the favorite.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
I mean, look at like at.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
Fucking vander Pump, like Tom Sandival like is is like
he is vander Pump right now. He is the show
right now. Without him, that show wouldn't be at what
it is. And it's like the villain of the story
arc of a reality show is normally the one that
like is carrying it on their back, and of course
vander Pump is very accessful cast. But think about it,
(05:03):
and that's the good dance moms. People say Abby was
the villain, and honestly like a villain or not to me,
like she carried that fucking show.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
On her back.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
Would not have been possible without her, and that's that's that.
So I guess ADC, I wasn't a villain, but I
was the hater one. I mean it couldn't be the villain.
I was literally nine. Yeah, I was really upset that night,
and I will I'll never forget that. That kind of got
my hate experience started, and then I just got fucking
used to it. Here I am today still getting aided
on which ry I wrote a song about it. Fun fact,
(05:32):
bitch I wrote guilty Pleasure suck It. I also wrote yesterday,
tomorrows today, just saying.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
It doesn't matter. It absolutely doesn't matter anyway.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
Second time is after my first Pride concert in Miami.
This was back April fourteenth. I know it's April fourteenth
because I actually have a hoodie that says Miami Pride,
and I put the wrong data on the hoodie that
was my fault I put April fifteenth. Anyways, it was
April fourteenth. It was my first live performance as an adult,
and I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed after. I didn't
(06:03):
really know how to feel right after. I was very numb.
Like I came out station, I was like, what the
just happened? Because I didn't expect it to be a success,
Like I thought there was gonna be like a couple
hundred people there, like I don't know, and it was crazy.
There was fifty five thousand people. The singing of Karma
was actually insane and I've never heard anything like it
while performing before. And so I came out stations. I
(06:24):
was just kind of in shocked, and I was like,
did I do good? Like I kept asking my mom
like was I okay?
Speaker 2 (06:28):
Did I do good?
Speaker 1 (06:28):
Like did I fuck up? Like I don't know what
to think right now? Did I go full out? And
like it was really questioning everything. And then all of
a sudden, the president of Miami probably came up to
it was like, hey, we want you to know that
you set the record for the most people in attendance.
There was fifty five thousand people watching. We have never
seen anything like that, like, I hope you're really proud
of yourself. And when he said that, I looked at
(06:49):
him and I actually, I do this thing with my
best friend Malia where we take a lap and we
just run away. And I took a lap. I literally
ran away and squatted down. I started sobbing, stood up,
and I was like, I don't know what I'm feeling
right now. I'm just so happy, so sad, like I'm sobbing,
I'm I'm not sad, like I'm happy, and I couldn't
pull it together, but I was just I was so
overwhelmed with like a confused feeling of like how am
(07:12):
I supposed to feel right now? And then it was
just like the most happy feeling, like we fucking did it,
and that that made me really happy.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
That made me really proud.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
Ah see this one, this third one is the like
heart wrencher for me.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
This one's very hard.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
So I have a best friend and for the sake
of this podcast, we're gonna call this best friend who
what's a fun name? All right, I'm gonna use the
code name that they call me, So they call me Julian.
So whenever we're in public, they're like what's up, Julian,
And uh, that's kind of like our running joke. Anyways,
So their name is not Julian, but for right now,
for this story, I'm gonna call it Julian. It it
(07:47):
is crazy, I'm gonna call her Julian. So me and
this friend, we are best best best friends. We recently
became friends last year, right on my twentieth birthday, so
we've been friends for a little over a year. Doing
meet those people that you just like click with and
you just bond with immediately and you're like, you're my people.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
How did I have a life before you? I don't know.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
Anyways, So this is Julian. I kind of like calling
her that. Now I'm gonna steal it. Julian and I
were very much so like that. We got very close,
very fast, and it was a lot of fun. We
have a very common interest and we just we bonded.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
Anyways. They have a.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
Job where they work on a cruise ship, and so
they are always always busy, always working, always on a
cruise and then they have a couple months off here
and there, and then they're back on ship working and
so Seria hard dang out. It's very hard to see them.
But anyways, they actually came to La for a week
and we hung out for a week and it was amazing.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
They stayed at the house. We had so much fun together.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
She's literally the best fucking humor of my best friend,
Like just having the best time, so many laughs, so
many good times. Anyways, the morning came where I had
to take her to the airport and say goodbye, and
that I mean I was like half strong while we
were at the airport.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
I really was, And I told her, I was like,
you gotta go.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
I was like the tears are coming, Like you got
to go now, and like we have a very like
fun relationship where it's like very like dickheady, like very buntery,
like we are not nice for.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
Each other, but like we love each other with all
of our hearts. And I was like, dude, you got
to get the fuck out of here right now, Like
you cannot see me cry because I'm going to.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
Miss you you And it was just it was hard
because we got to spend a week together, and then
I was like, we are like not going to see
each other for so long.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
This is sick, twisted, devious, sinister.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
Evil, and so I yeah, I just started melting down
and got in the car and when I tell you,
the forty five minute car ride home from.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
The airport, that's the hardest I've ever cried in my life.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
And then I came home and I was like, you
know what, clearly, I just need to be sad right now.
Came in, came in my bedroom and just kept crying.
And I cried for probably another hour, and I got
up and worked out, cried while I worked out, Like
it was like days worth of crying. It was a lot.
It was very hard. I don't know why it hit
me very so hard. But I am a lover and
(09:55):
like when it comes to my friends and my people,
like I just love to give, give, give attention, and
so I got really used to being able to give
her that attention in that week and it was so
fun and like just like the literal best times. And
then all of a sudden she had to go and
go back to work and I was like, what is
this bullshit? Absolutely not, so I stopped. But nonetheless, we
got to see each other couple months later. We're gonna
(10:15):
get see each other in a couple months. It's great.
Our friendship works, and we have a lot of fun. Anyways,
that's that one that was my like sad one. This
one's cute, not gonna lie. When I was like five
years old, we went on to Disney Cruise. Didn't understand
the concept of the safety like drill thought we were
going down in flames, like thought the boat was sinking
for sure. So started stobbing then couldn't stop. My parents
(10:38):
were like, you need a can it? And I didn't
can it. And the second time it was also on
the same trip, same Disney cruise. When it was over,
I had the best time. It was five Like a
Disney cruisal. Five yearld is the coolest thing ever. Disney
cruise to anybody's coolest thing ever. But five year old,
you like really think you're on the ship would Mackey
fucking mouse, Like it's the best time ever. And like
saying goodbye they make it so sad. They sing the songs, No,
(10:58):
it's time to say goodbye, doll family, m I see
k U y m o us and like that's sick
twisted dbs to a five year old.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
It's like, how how are you gonna do that to
a five year old? That is mean cruel?
Speaker 1 (11:12):
So I was sobbing Deva say, this is a really
good picture of me where I'm red in the face,
just sobbing. Last one, I'm actually I'm gonna give you
a little bit of a bonus one after this last one,
but quick. Last one is Dream the Tour. Honestly, like
(11:34):
every beginning leg of Dream the Tour, first show and
every last show on Dream the Tour, I would always
sob I'd stop because I was so grateful and I
saw because I was so.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
Sad it was over.
Speaker 1 (11:42):
It was just non stop tears. The worst was the
last last show ever on Dream the Tour. I was
sobbing on stage the old night because I was like,
oh my god, the last time I'm gonna sing word party,
oh my god, the last time I'm gonna sing time
to celebrate.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
Oh my gosh, last time.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
Like every single song you got water works, every single one, okay,
and the last last little bonus and then I'm gonna
give you is on Special Forces. Honestly, I cried every
day on Special Forces come day one, like so the
way Special Force was edited, and I never really like
to give like insider scoop to how TV shows are edited.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
But I'm gonna go into for a second for this one.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
So if you watch Special Forces episode one, they use
an interview with me where I'm crying to the DS
saying that I missed my family.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
That was actually on day six.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
But to make Special Forces makes sense, you know, they
do have to edit in, they have to play certain
storylines earlier and later, and so it's a Teve.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
Show, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
But at the end of the day, that was at
day six and day one, I'm not gonna lie have stoked,
Like I was like, fuck, yeah, I'm alone for the
first time. Whoo whoop, like newly twenty year old, let's
party it up. And come day three, I was like,
I'm so sad. I was like, this is the sadest
day of my life. Like every day, every day I
gave you waterworks, I gave you tears. I would go
out and I uh, I one way I would comfort
(12:57):
myself as I would talk to the Moon. And I
grew up very close relationship with the Moon, because as
I grew close to my other fellow recruits, I would
are especially.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
Nick and Tyler.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
You didn't really have anyone that you already knew, And
so I talked to the moon and it sounds cheesy,
but you get delusional. And so I was like, hey, Moon,
I need you to deliver these messages for me. And
I would talk to my best friends, and I would
talk to my family, and I'd talk to my parents,
and I would trust that the moon delivered those messages safely.
And the reason why it brought me comfort is because
I was like, no matter where my people are, they
(13:27):
are going to see this same moon. And for some reason,
like I love doing that. If like one of my
friends is having a bad dan and I'm not there
to comfort them, I'll be like, hey, go outside real quick,
look at the moon. No that I can't see you
and I can't hugue, but we are looking at the
same thing right now. And that to me like brought
me so much comfort on Special Forces, and honestly it's
something that I still use to the day. But yeah, no,
(13:50):
Special Forces gave you waterworks. I could not stop crying
all the time on Special Forces. Like those times I
was like, Okay, you gotta pull it together, like this
is getting psycho like five. I end fine to find it,
but you just, I mean, you could. I never cried
like during a task, but I always cried after the task,
The one that got me the most is the shooting task,
because I was I don't know, I always feel like
(14:12):
I told this story and I'm always like, I've never
told this story publicly before, but I've definitely had to
say that before. And so I have told this story publicly,
but I don't tell it often. I was in a
shooting when I was a kid. I was five years
old in the Vonmar shooting in Omaha, Nebraska, and it
was me and my mom and it was very scary.
We were on our way to the register where the
armed gunman went and we my mom actually ended up
(14:35):
as we were going to that register, she looked at
the skirt again that she was gonna buy, and she
realized it didn't have sequence on the back, and so
she was like, you know what, it's an expensive skirt,
Like it doesn't even have a sequence on the back,
Like let's just go. And as we were like like
putting it back to go, that's when he went to
that register. And so it was very very scary, and
like I obviously, like I mean, I was five years old,
(14:57):
and so I don't like I don't.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
Remember the like I don't remember it.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
But for some reason while driving through the gunfire on
Special Forces, like my brain and body like went into
like whoa, like full body trauma response, Like it was
something that I'd never experienced before, which was crazy anyway, So.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
I ended Special Forces. This was the bonus that I
was trying to get to.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
After the show ended, you turn in your armband, right,
and so ds Billy kept He keeps everybody's arm bands
from all of his seasons. And he messaged me and
he was like, hey, I want to send you something,
like what's your address?
Speaker 2 (15:31):
Opened it up.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
It was a purse that his wife had made, and
then it also was my arm band and he was like,
I really He was like normally I keep these, but
I thought you would really like it, and like we
loved having you.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
You were a joy to us.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
And when I touched it, my like, I like just
like broke, like it took me right back there.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
It was very scary. It was very weird, very weird
feeling for my body.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
So Special Forces got a lot of tears out of me,
but a lot of good tears. Can't complain very grateful
I happened. Very grateful I did it. I cry when
things are over, and so that's a that's a good
thing for me. And once my voice is over, I sobbed.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
James Jr. Soab Mas Sanger sobbed Dance while I'm sobbed.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Dancing with the Stars, Oh my god, saw me at
the end of Dance with the Stars was so bad.
Jenna was like, Jojo, you look like a sore, fucking
loser right now. Pull it together. And I was like,
I am not crying because we got second. I am
crying because it's done. And she was like, I know
that everyone knows that, but anyone who doesn't know you
was thinking you're crying because you got a second.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
I was like, I could care less. I'm just sad
it's over. Anyways, that's enough.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
I kind of gave you like seven or eight things
that made me cry and made me keep crying. I
hope you enjoyed this episode of Jojo Zema Now. I
love you all so much. Thank you so much for listening.
Be sure to check out Guilty Pleasure everywhere you listen
to music.
Speaker 2 (16:43):
My new EP. I'm so happy with it.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
You can get my sick ass Karma merch if you
go to Jojaca dot com.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
I love y'all.
Speaker 1 (16:51):
Be good, Be safe. Remember Karma's a bitch. Remember I'm
a guilty pleasure. Remember to choose your fighter, and choose
them wiser for sure. Remember that yesterday is tomorrow's today.
And if you don't know what that means, really think
about it and one day I'll explain it one day promise.
That is I love y'all.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
This is thank you so much for listening, everybody.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
Be sure to follow us on Instagram and TikTok at
Jojesua Now podcast.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
Be sure to write us a
Speaker 1 (17:17):
Review and maybe, if you're feeling to leave us five stars,
I'll see you next week
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