Gabby Windey Unfiltered and Raw Tell All (Part One)

For the first time, Gabby opens up to Bethenny about the recent news regarding her personal life. 

She reveals the moment she realized she was no longer interested in men, how having a girlfriend has changed her life and…the questionable reactions from her exes since the news broke. 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:13):
Gabby, you are in my house, welcome, thank you, and
you're saying you're doing a little staycation in sag Harbor. Yes,
all right, so I'm gonna give you all the spots.
I watched your shows to get prepared. I watched certain
Bachelor seasons, but not obviously all of them. Yeah, so
I went in deep you.

Speaker 2 (00:36):
I'm so sorry. I mean, I didn't realize.

Speaker 1 (00:39):
I did not realize how many seasons there actually were,
and I was instantly drawn to you. So we'll get
into that. But you do not look as tall on television. Yeah,
I know.

Speaker 2 (00:50):
I think it's like a thing because you're always being
shown from the waist up, so nobody actually knows how
tall you are. When you pack for the Bachelor, they're like,
don't worry about your shoes, They'll never see your feet.
So it's like, really, don't really see your legs? Wait, yeah,
that's because you.

Speaker 1 (01:03):
To me, if someone said describe our like, she's this
cute little pixie though she's like peteet and you walk
and I'm like, oh my god, this glamazon walk to
my house. How tall are you?

Speaker 2 (01:11):
I'm five eight and I'm constantly in heels. I'm never
in a flash and you're all legs.

Speaker 1 (01:16):
Yes, so you just look here. You have a very
striking presence. It's funny.

Speaker 2 (01:19):
How thank you.

Speaker 1 (01:20):
It's very different. And you're blonde.

Speaker 2 (01:22):
Yes, I'm newly blonde. Well I was a blonde before
a bachelor, but Quarantine I wanted to try something different.
So now that I'm going back blonde, it's like a
controversy online. People love to talk about it. But this
is like my natural state, a block, a box blonde.

Speaker 1 (01:36):
Wait, why do people love to talk Why is it controversial?
Because I feel like you're trying to be something you're not.

Speaker 2 (01:40):
I think a little bit because it was like after
I moved to La, so they're like, don't be like
a basic La bitch. And it's like, first of all,
I am what I am, and I'm as basic as
they come. It's not La. It's deep in my soul.
It's like different. But and I think, yeah, they're just
so people really get attached to you and like what
you look like. So I think they're just really attached

(02:02):
to my brown hair.

Speaker 1 (02:03):
Well, it comes through you, don't That's what the box
blonde is. I mean, there's a lot of roots. It
looks very like it's hard to keep this up.

Speaker 2 (02:10):
It's not. It's easier because this is like my natural
is lighter than when I was dark, so when my
hair would grow out when I was dark. First of all,
thank you for giving me a chance to talk about this.

Speaker 1 (02:21):
Really, this is why we're here.

Speaker 2 (02:23):
Obviously thought a lot about it. I have a lot
to say.

Speaker 1 (02:26):
I want to hear it because I do beauty views
and I'm fascinating because I color my hair at home
and recently I went to get a professionally done and
she said, you have like seven colors of hair in
your hair because I didn't know. I just each little
chunk going down to the roots. It's a different it's
like a patchwork quilt. Yes, okay, I've been there.

Speaker 2 (02:45):
Every time my hairdresser sees me, they're like, you're a
different color. So God bless them. I have two really
great people, one in Colorado, one in La Okay, Okay,
So any I'm like a chestnut they call it. It's
like a dark blonde, kind of lighter brown.

Speaker 1 (03:00):
It's like a chestnut Philly like it's a little a
little red too, chest.

Speaker 2 (03:03):
Yes, yeah, and it pulls red easy. So when I
was really dark, one it would go. It would go
red so easy. It would always fade like really warm, okay,
and my roots would come in and I'd look gray
because my hair is so much lighter than the brown.
I mean, I was lighter than you, but like not much.
I was really dark. But nobody actually knew what my

(03:24):
hair color was because it would literally change during the season.
So this doesn't fade as much for me. And like,
I like to have a root so it can just
grow out on its own.

Speaker 1 (03:32):
Well, it's interesting that on in Bachelor Nation it's controversial
to change your hair color, because in Housewives Nation, you
could have a different hair color every year, every season Nation.

Speaker 2 (03:41):
That's what I want. I'm like, you guys have to
get used to it. It's a part of me. I know,
like people are still learning a lot about me. They
wouldn't let me dye my hair while we were filming.
I got highlights before I was the Bachelorette, and they
sent in like a team last second to take me
back dark. I was like crying on the phone, screaming
at a producer. I'm like, I like, I should have
free will.

Speaker 1 (04:02):
So you're here to say that you identify as a
multi colored hair yes, you want you want me. You
don't want to be put in a box.

Speaker 2 (04:09):
No, I want the room to have like whatever kind
of hair I want, I'll always change it.

Speaker 1 (04:14):
Okay, So that's what we're here. Nice to meet you,
Thanks for coming, and we'll talk you okay. All right,
So you're in the Hamptons and you're here with your girlfriend. Yes,
So do you both say this is my girlfriend, this
is my life partner?

Speaker 2 (04:27):
What do you call Robbie girlfriend?

Speaker 1 (04:29):
Okay, so, Robbie, how long have you known her?

Speaker 2 (04:34):
Like? Five months? I think almost maybe four and a half.
I round up because I feel like lesbian years are
like dog years, like it multiplies. We spend a lot
of time together, and August is a long month, and
July so you have like a couple extra days.

Speaker 1 (04:50):
Like, well, summer is different you're talking about like it's
also a summer romance folded in plus two women who
one might think love maybe more intensely and more deeply.
So that's why dog ears. Ok yeah, yeah, yeah, So
and we're going to get into that. Does it fascinate
you that people are so fascinated with your girlfriend or

(05:10):
your life partner? Or it makes perfect sense because of
the shows that you were on.

Speaker 2 (05:16):
I yeah, I think it does make sense. Bachelor Nation
is really loyal, and I'm like so grateful for them.
I feel like they've really stuck to me. Wow. Yeah,
which isn't the case for everybody. I know. Sometimes they
have really strong opinions, and that's okay. Like, I do
understand that there is a piece of going on reality
TV that you're TV in general. If you want to

(05:38):
live your life like with the platform, you're opening yourself
up to like some kind of criticism and scrutiny. So
I know people are going to have an opinion and
that's okay. But I do feel like for the most part,
they've like had my back and they're treating Robbie like
she's one of us. About the best feeling ever.

Speaker 1 (05:54):
I bet that I don't know her, will meet her.
But the last thing that I imagine that she would
have thought in her life that should be part of
Bachelor Nation.

Speaker 2 (06:01):
Now, yeah, the last she said she she won the Bachelor.
Now that's how she says it. She's like, I won
the Bachelor. We went to AFR and like it was
live or whatever after the final roads for this last season,
and I'm like, I didn't think she would want to go.
I'm like, do you want to go? She's like, duh,
Like I won the Bachelor.

Speaker 1 (06:18):
Yeah, She's like in Candyland, when you go directly to
get the piece of candy, you don't have to.

Speaker 2 (06:22):
Go through all the little pieces literally, right, exactly right. Yeah,
she has a shortcut. She's like so proud. She's like,
look at this. I'm like, oh my god, that's amazingly.

Speaker 1 (06:30):
All right, so you are more than who you're dating,
So we will get into your dating.

Speaker 2 (06:34):
But okay, it's my favorite topic right now too.

Speaker 1 (06:37):
I would imagine, yeah, I would imagine, which, Well, okay,
so we're going to get into that. But so how
did you what made you go on to the Bachelor?

Speaker 2 (06:46):
I was single for years. I had just moved out
of Denver. I was travel nursing during COVID. So I
was a Denver Broncos cheerleader for five years and I
decided to kind of like I used an excuse almost
to like fade out. Because it was the year of COVID,
we really didn't know what the season was going to
hold for us. Normally, it's really grueling, the schedule, like

(07:08):
you have no time off, you can't really travel because
you always have to be there for practices and games.
So I'm like, ugh, I want to take this time,
like we don't know what our schedule is going to
look like, I'm gonna travel, nurse, do something different. Wow.
And I ended up in LA and officially retired from
NFL cheerleading No. Four one K that's okay, retirement plan.

(07:30):
That's how it was.

Speaker 1 (07:30):
Five years.

Speaker 2 (07:31):
Five years, that's a bit.

Speaker 1 (07:33):
That's a long career in Denver Bronco Land.

Speaker 2 (07:35):
Yeah it was. Yeah, that's funny, some of the best
years of my life. But then I moved to LA.
I'm like, okay. I was nominated a couple years prior
by some friends and I had dated somebody kind of
like a heart throb i'd say in Bachelor Nation. So
like literally on my application it was like dated his
name's Dean. Dated Dean, like Denver Bronco's cheerleader, and they

(07:58):
like called me the next day.

Speaker 1 (08:00):
Yeah it's a good resume.

Speaker 2 (08:02):
Yeah yeah.

Speaker 1 (08:02):
Have you come across other Denver Broncos cheerleaders in this process?
I would feel like they would be the perfect prototype
for Bachelor Nation.

Speaker 2 (08:09):
Not a lot of cheerleaders, a lot of Disney Princesses
really weird. Yeah, that work at the park.

Speaker 1 (08:16):
Yeah, that's so funny because I've always said that a
great reality show Disney would never allow it and the
princess would never be able to do it. But a
great reality show would be showing Disney Princesses after dark. Yeah,
what really goes on after dark? Oh?

Speaker 2 (08:30):
I bet there's a lot funds very strict and do
you like live in tight quarters? It's ancestual.

Speaker 1 (08:35):
Yes, it would be an make I'm sure Disney's gonna
love that. And I can't wait to get a lawsuit.
I can't wait for us to get a letter from
Disney who also owns ABC who the Mountain?

Speaker 2 (08:45):
She was sorry?

Speaker 1 (08:48):
Okay, So then you were a traveling nurse, which I
didn't even know was a thing, And what do you
go with an agency and they place you?

Speaker 2 (08:54):
Yeah, you have a third party agency. You kind of
just go in. Initially, it was like founded, I think
to for when staff nurses went on maternity leave, and
so you would need somebody to come in for three
months while they were on maternity leave and then could
come back. So it's kind of like a relief position.
Now it's a little more stable. It's a way for

(09:15):
nurses to make more money basically because you don't make
any money without like pre dim or kind of working
these like as.

Speaker 1 (09:23):
So you can make good money as a traveling nurse.

Speaker 2 (09:25):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (09:25):
And where do you stay? You have to figure that
out yourself.

Speaker 2 (09:28):
Yeah, but like there's bnb's yeah, because you get a
stipend for a living that's like non tax So nurses
travel nurses are savvy with their finances.

Speaker 1 (09:40):
Really.

Speaker 2 (09:41):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (09:41):
I feel like it's like flight attendants are really savvy
with their finances too. You're used to being efficient and organized. Yes, yeah,
And I.

Speaker 2 (09:48):
Just don't want to flag myself. I RS. I hope
you're not listening. I'm not a nurse anymore.

Speaker 1 (09:52):
No, but even if you are, they're very savvy.

Speaker 2 (09:54):
No.

Speaker 1 (09:54):
I think that's an interesting bim that isn't discussed enough.
Nurses are savvy and because.

Speaker 2 (09:58):
You just don't get paid anything much like teachers. Like
it's like I started, I was.

Speaker 1 (10:02):
Thinking that too. Hustle.

Speaker 2 (10:03):
You got to figure out hustle exactly. I sorry, when
I was twenty two, I took what was given to me.
I stayed in the town that I was in. I'm like,
I'm making no money. How do I make money. I'm
like into my thirties and I'm still working paycheck to paycheck. Interesting.

Speaker 1 (10:18):
I'm thinking of the teachers who have all these Amazon
wish lists, and I feel like nurses should do it too,
with all the things that they want to have to
be a better nurse, like right for your patients, you know,
having things that you give out or maybe you know,
entertainment supplies for people wile they're sick. Because I like that,
I'm buying a lot of Amazon supplies for teachers, and
I'm loving the creative things that they're putting on their

(10:39):
wish lists. Yeah, that I'm buying for these kids for
their classrooms. Yeah, it's interesting. I like. Okay, so wow,
I wouldn't That's amazing. Okay, So then you get on
the Bachelor, and now let's get let's get seen. When
you get on the Bachelor, what percentage? Honestly, are you
thinking I'm going to really find a partner? What percentage?
Oh my god, this is gonna be great and me

(10:59):
famous and young, and this is going to be such
a cool experience. You were on season nineteen, so you're well,
the system is well in so I'm saying being a
housewife season one was very different from being one season
fifteen because you've watched the show. You have a preconceived
notion you're figuring out how to quote unquote play the game.

Speaker 2 (11:17):
Okay, so I haven't watched the show. I really didn't
watch Bachelor Bachelorette before. I think people use it even
now as like a like I love it because it's
really like a community event. I feel like it's an
excuse to get together with like either your sister and
your mom every Monday, or like your friends, and you're
constantly talking over the show. Like my one of my

(11:39):
friends who we watched I think Matt James's season with
I think it was during COVID. There was like four
of us that would get together every Monday because there's
like nothing else to do, and we'd constantly talk over
her and she'd be like, can you stop, Like you
didn't watch before you were on? No, okay, And I
think it was I think it did me right, not
because I wasn't a fan. I honestly, I I was

(12:00):
just so busy working and cheering. It was like two
full time jobs. Like I'm just now in my thirties
getting into TV. I'm like, where's my childhood?

Speaker 1 (12:09):
Well no, yeah, that's so true. Yeah, were you But
were you doing it because you thought it would be
a great experience or you were really feeling like you
were hitting a wall meeting people? Because I would think, yeah,
that you would do it as a girl in your thirties,
It's gonna have a great ride, a great.

Speaker 2 (12:21):
Experience, totally. And like I think, I don't know, I
can't say I really have an analytical brain. I think
I have a really strong intuition. So I feel like
I'm not going to break things down and try and
super plan. I'm like, this seems right, it's fitting right
in my life. I'm living in a month to month
B and B. I've been single for years. I'm not
having any luck. I'm in LA. Casting was in LA.

(12:45):
I got to like meet everyone in person, which I
think really helped.

Speaker 1 (12:48):
And you're very social obviously you've worked in a social environment.

Speaker 2 (12:51):
Yeah, And like I love new experiences, Like I tried
out for the Denver Broncos, Like three times I tried
out for the Nuggets, Like whoever.

Speaker 1 (12:58):
You know.

Speaker 2 (12:58):
I'm kind of like use to like just trying for
different things. So I'm like okay to me, it's kind
of like another opportunity another like dance team, adventure. We'll see.
I will say, like I'm a little bit of a
hopeless romantic, so like I don't think it has to
be one or the other, Like, oh, you're going on
for a new opportunity or to find love. It's like,

(13:20):
I think both can be true.

Speaker 1 (13:21):
What if I meet someone amazing, It's exactly okay, right,
Also being a chill, you were a cheerleader in high school.
Assume if you got on to be a professional child
must have been serious.

Speaker 2 (13:30):
I was on the dance team. They call us cheerleaders
because we have pomp poms, but we're all like professional dancers.
I don't know if you know this. I was second
placed on Dancing with the Stars, Bethany.

Speaker 1 (13:39):
I do know this, and people talk about that as
part of this whole Yeah, okay, so you were second.
I was second on The Apprentice. A good star, my god, Hi,
five runners runner.

Speaker 2 (13:51):
We should do a whole show. We should, we need
and could be on our show.

Speaker 1 (13:56):
So but I'm saying now looking back, as we'll get
into your relationship, but it's just you always like to
surround yourself with girls. You've always been a girl's girl.

Speaker 2 (14:03):
Yes, always, I mean, yeah, those are a little too much.

Speaker 1 (14:08):
I know.

Speaker 2 (14:09):
And did you dabble?

Speaker 1 (14:10):
Have you ever? Did you dabble in high school or college?
Did you have because that's sort of like a quote
unquote fling or a phase in many college girls experiences
that they'll wink at their friends and talk back about.
But did you have that experience? I never had that experience.
I'm saying, Like, I'm not saying there's anything right or wrong.
I'm just saying I've never had an experience with a
girl in a college did you.

Speaker 2 (14:30):
Yeah? Honestly no, not really like I thought, as far
as I knew, I was as straight as they came. Really, like, yeah,
I didn't know. I didn't know any different. I also
grew up like I wouldn't even say conservative because politics
wasn't talked about in my family really good or bad.
I mean my dad was supporting the whole family and

(14:51):
like a lower rank in the Air Force, So it's
like we didn't I don't think politics didn't come up
because we really didn't have like the afflu to like
let it into our life, like I just making ends meet, right, exactly,
Our day to day was like spaghettios, Like we're living
on based housing, Like where's like I have. I don't
think there's anything wrong with that. You know, look at

(15:12):
me now, like whatever I could I do? Like I
you know, I have some beef with public school.

Speaker 1 (15:17):
Like you feel like you didn't have the luxury to
start debating politics, even though.

Speaker 2 (15:21):
It's exactly you right, especially coming from like a conservative
family that was in the military, and military bases a
lot of time are in Middle America, so we spent
a lot of the time not surrounded by liberal cities,
which you think about and then you think about, like, Okay,
their allies to gay people and fighting for their rights

(15:43):
and stuff. But I was just like surrounded by straight people.
I didn't know any different.

Speaker 1 (15:47):
I understand what you're saying. Yeah, it's funny because I
did grow up in a liberal well, I lived in
like thirteen places, but I went to high school in
a liberal place. And even still, and I'm older than you,
there was no one that we knew was gay in
our high It wasn't discussed. So that's what you're saying.

Speaker 2 (16:02):
Yes, And also I think like gay men are still
more like have a little more representation. I don't think
a lot, but it was like way more familiar to
see for me to see a gay man, and I
was like, oh my god, like, you know, we're best friends,
we can talk about the same thing like this. But
I had never, especially in my younger years, I have
never really seen like a gay woman.

Speaker 1 (16:21):
You make a great point. You make a great point,
because it's true. It was more like, it seems like
that's something marketed. Is like a phase for a girl,
like a college drunk phase. You hooked up with a girl,
but not like a god.

Speaker 2 (16:33):
Yeah, trying to impress the boys. It's like there's an
ulterior motive.

Speaker 1 (16:37):
Yes, it doesn't feel valued. It feels more like anecdotal.
That makes that's a great That's a totally great point. So,
so yeah, you were straight. They didn't think it was
like saying, I'm a giraffe. I'm not a the dog.

Speaker 2 (16:49):
This is what I am.

Speaker 1 (16:50):
So you didn't question it. That makes a lot of
sense too. And did you remember the movie Chasing Amy. No,
you've heard about it, and that was, Oh my god,
you have to see it. It was like a very It
was one of the first movies that talked about a
woman who's living in a traditional life. She was actually
in a relationship with John Hamm. It was her boyfriend,
and then she becomes a lesbian and it's quite disruptive,

(17:10):
but it certainly wasn't twenty twenty three.

Speaker 2 (17:12):
It's a great qush to watch Chasing Me. It's week
love lesbian culture.

Speaker 1 (17:16):
Yeah, yeah, Okay, So you go on Bachelor and you're
going in to have an experience and there's a bunch

(17:36):
you know, you're gonna buy for this guy and what
and I saw I watched you really stand up for
yourself during this process, Like I watched you come in
sort of as the funny girl who is a little
bit like me, Bethany, meaning you always get into trouble
for saying something. Yeah, you're not filtered, you're unedited. I
related to that a lot, that you're just he said
you were the funniest person on the planet.

Speaker 2 (17:58):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (17:58):
Right, he said, she's the funniest person on the planet
while you guys were like tying shoes for a hiker something.

Speaker 2 (18:03):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (18:04):
And then you go through this process and he manipulates
you in a way like you felt like he wasn't
this is this is Clayton. He wasn't entirely above board. Yeah,
in the process, and when I watched the finale, you
really sort of were poised and held yourself really just

(18:24):
you were just very very mature and polished, and there
was just something very dignified about you and you but
you did not let you did not suffer fools. You
let him know it was not acceptable the way you'd
been treated. So what was that?

Speaker 2 (18:38):
Thank you? I think just like ugh, I feel like
you take these experiences and you really think about it
and maybe like it's like I don't want all this
to turn into like the patriarchy and like I'm a
feminist and blah blah blah. But there's some conversation around it,
like sue me and I think, like watching I don't

(18:59):
think Clayton he's malicious. I don't think he's like nefarious.
I've always said that. I think maybe he hasn't had
Being a woman comes with struggle. We know that as women.
It's like something also that is implicit. You don't even
really know you're struggling, I think until later totally, and
it's like that's like the hardest part is that you're

(19:20):
almost like nobody says like it's okay, Like it's almost
like you're being like gasolt into thinking everything is normal.
I was a nurse for eight years. A female dominated field.
We work under doctors. We're supposed to be subordinates. But
it's like you're not even technically my boss. You have
a different discipline, Our goals are different. You're here to
like treat the disease and I'm here to treat the

(19:42):
whole person and to take things into like a holistic account.
Like we have two different goals, right, But I am
treated like I have to take your orders and I
don't really have a voice. Is it because I'm a
nurse or is it because I'm a woman or both.

Speaker 1 (19:55):
It's a dynamic that was set up like a caveman teachers.

Speaker 2 (19:58):
Yeah, it's like a minor already female dominated field.

Speaker 1 (20:02):
Hi, Hi, Robbie, how are you good?

Speaker 2 (20:10):
Where are you gonna sit?

Speaker 1 (20:13):
I don't know, baby, you want to sit there? And
then we'll bring her in after we get into the
bath in.

Speaker 2 (20:17):
The guest house. I don't know. It's okay.

Speaker 1 (20:19):
Well, do you feel like we are talking about some
of this stuff?

Speaker 2 (20:22):
No, it's just like easier for me to talk about
her if she's not here. And I think babe babe
in a good way.

Speaker 1 (20:29):
All right, So let's let babe go to get a drink.

Speaker 2 (20:32):
She doesn't like. She doesn't let me watch all her
comedy either, So I know, babe, but come on, it's
the first one.

Speaker 1 (20:39):
Okay, no, bo, Babe should go get a drink. Bite.
Oh my god, Babe, babe.

Speaker 2 (20:48):
We're in love. It's really hard for people to see.
I got tay babe into.

Speaker 1 (20:55):
The woods, the woods, the babe in the woods, and
then we're gonna get her bring a back.

Speaker 2 (21:03):
Somebody likes me.

Speaker 1 (21:04):
Yeah, I can't imagine why we're gonna get into when
she comes out, Why you would even think of having
me do it, because it becomes very controversial these days
to be on my podcast. I did not realize, but
we'll be. I'm being canceled, I'm renewed at the same time.

Speaker 2 (21:17):
It's amazing.

Speaker 1 (21:18):
Yeah, canceled and renew the same day. Okay. So all right,
So oh so you said, oh, yes, it's amazing what
you're saying. Yeah, there are scenes are just dynamics that
and set in stone.

Speaker 2 (21:27):
Yeah. So then naturally you think about it, so like whatever,
it's like, I'm kind of dating this man. With other women.
I understood what I got into, but it almost felt
like new money. It was like a man who had
just had power for the first time.

Speaker 1 (21:43):
Oh, you didn't like that he had all the power,
and you've walked into a dynamic where he had all
the power. He got to just choose and discard.

Speaker 2 (21:49):
Because yeah, because I think he took advantage of it
and he didn't really like, really think about or regard
our feelings. And I can like that was always my
thought going in. I'm like, honestly, just be honest, just
be open, like he like compared all of us at
the same point, it's like you can't compare like different
women or different lovers. They're different. You have a better
connection with them or not. But it's like you can't

(22:10):
say you like love one more, this one's better.

Speaker 1 (22:14):
Like you're saying, you can still be a good person
even within this strange experiment. You can still if I
let tell you what I need, which is for you
to just always be upfront and honest with me. Yeah,
it may not end up being me, but I need you. Well,
that's what happens when you're dating sometimes, Like, yeah, I've dated.
I remember dating a guy who was a player. He
had never really had a girlfriend, and we really connected

(22:34):
and you knew that he was like sleeping around every weekend.
He just had that reputation and it's what was going on. Yeah,
And there became a point where I said, this needs
to be evolving or I don't want to do it.
But you don't get to just pretend that because I
know that about you, that that's enough. Like you have
to tell me like you want to progress and move forward. Yeah,
And just because you say, oh, she knew that I

(22:56):
was that type of person, that's not enough. Like you
have to hold yourself accountable, yeah, and be responsible for
the other person's feelings also, right, A lot of people
don't do that. A lot of oh they know who
I am? Like me say, you know, it's like, is
that how you treat the people you love?

Speaker 2 (23:09):
Like you're also the other party is allowed to have
expectations and needs to And I'm allowed to tell you
what I need. If we're if we're not being able
to give the same thing, we're not a match. And
that's a yes, But don't make me feel like I'm
crazy for bringing it up. I feel like a lot
of our dating culture has like kind of gas lit
women into thinking that we're not allowed to ask for

(23:31):
what we want and we have to settle for these
guys who it's like, okay for them to sleep around.
It's like, okay, they're just men. I have to wait
until he's ready to not sleeping around. Would I ever
do that to somebody?

Speaker 1 (23:42):
No, Well, that was how the show was set up
with men in the power position. And obviously then they
did the bachelors, which.

Speaker 2 (23:48):
That's different because it's a bubble and I will understand,
Like me going in, I'm like, I know you're sleeping
with other girls. There's like this meme of me with
BedHead comparing me to the Bradstall, like coming in the
next day because they, like, you know, had this conversation
with us and the other girls like what were you
doing last night? It's like everyone knows what we're doing. Like,
don't make me say it. It's like a part of

(24:08):
the gig. It's basically in my contract, it's not but
like whatever I'm in on. But in real life, in
real life, it doesn't translate.

Speaker 1 (24:16):
Well no, but in real life too, you could say
to your girlfriends, I'm okay with it, it's fine. We're
just dating and then all of a sudden it takes
you over.

Speaker 2 (24:22):
If I genuinely felt like that, that's.

Speaker 1 (24:24):
What I'm saying. Not what I'm saying is on a show,
you could get all the rules and you could have
a rule even with the guy. Yeah, but when you
get into real feelings, you can't. You can't play stupid
and smart at the same time. If you have feelings,
you're gonna have a lack of irrationality. I mean, sorry,
there'll be an element of irrationality because you feel something
right right right. You could say it's cool, but it

(24:45):
may not feel cool. Yeah, yeah, exactly. I'm not trying
to be cool. I'm not cool in a relationship. I
just want to be myself and I need, like I
want to be seen. Like the last thing I'm gonna
do is try and play it cool, Like I don't
think that helps anybody, Okay, And so I feel like
he just kind of took advantage of his power because
it was kind of led to believe the ending. You know,
he went back for the third girl, which it seems

(25:07):
like he knew all along. So then it's like he's
feel like a loser, a fool.

Speaker 2 (25:11):
So it's like why'd you sleep with me? And I
can say things because I have been on the other side.
I was the bachelorette, Yes, and I chose not to
sleep with everybody if I wasn't like still deciding I
only slept with one person, not saying it's the way
to go, because like I think you can genuinely be conflicted.

Speaker 1 (25:27):
Yeah, oh you can. And people can sleep with more
than one person. It's their choice. But you're saying you
found a way for yourself to have integrity in that process. Yeah,
I found it very compelling that you would go to
the end with a girl and become really good friends
with her, like you were competing with her. How did
you manage to be competing with her? Or was it
really that you were like commiserating because you were going
through the same exact experience.

Speaker 2 (25:48):
I think it is a lot of like compartmentalizing. They
kind of say, like it is a new scenario, so
you can't really you can't compare it to any interesting
which I think is a lot of reason kind of
like why it does work in that world because it's honestly,
it's not real life. So you're starting with a blank
slick Yes, so I'm.

Speaker 1 (26:06):
Like, even if you've watched it, it's going to be
anything that happens.

Speaker 2 (26:09):
Of course. I just like always came in with an
open mind. I'm like, honestly, at this point, I surrender
if this is going to be my man. He wasn't
like the complete opposite of who I'm dating now, like
a little Jewish woman. I was dating all these big
white frien' you could never give me what she can

(26:29):
give me, right, But I was just like, Okay, if
it's meant to be, it'll be. I'm always like, I'm
never going to choose a guy or or a partner
or a lover over a girl over a friend. Like
I do think there's this kind of innate like we've
been through a lot of shit as women. We have
to lift each other up, and plus it takes two
in a relationship. It's like they're choosing each other. It's

(26:51):
not like somebody is. It's not personal to me, right, Like,
it's not like anyone's like hurting me on purpose. It's
like they're a better match. Okay, yeah, definitely.

Speaker 1 (27:00):
Right now, you just wanted there to be some ethics
and integrity because you were putting yourself out there. Okay,
do you feel that you were really in love with him.

Speaker 2 (27:06):
I thought I was, because again, like you are in
the bubble. Bubble, yes, and it really and like I
buy in. I'm a good player, I'm a team player.
Like I'm in on it. I think you can't come
out alive. You can't go in doubting everything.

Speaker 1 (27:20):
You can't play. No, you can't be half pregnant. No,
you're in all the way exactly.

Speaker 2 (27:23):
I get pregnant. Yeah, anything I do.

Speaker 1 (27:28):
No. But by the way, that's why I see myself
in you a little bit. Because in the Housewives, it's
the same thing, and they always ask it's such a
weird question, is it real? It's impossible to what's happening
is real, but the circumstances the bubble is not real.
So is it real that I'm talking to these specific
women about this thing and fighting, someone throws a leg
on a dance floor, some flips a table. Those things

(27:49):
really happen because those are extraordinary circumstances. So it's a
bullshit question.

Speaker 2 (27:54):
Is it real?

Speaker 1 (27:55):
What you were feeling is real, what was happening is real,
but you were living in fantasy island.

Speaker 2 (27:59):
Right, and it's all cold. But like this is also
kind of like a job, Like for you, it was
like your job, Like I'm here. I know I have
not even a role to play, but my job is.

Speaker 1 (28:07):
To be here and be involved and be present. And
what they need you to do and do it you
need to exactly.

Speaker 2 (28:12):
They could tell it. Yeah, and I hear it, and
I'm here. I'm a hard worker.

Speaker 1 (28:15):
No, you're on the field putting your heart. That's exactly exactly.
It's a work ethic thing. I fully get it. I
really really that's very interesting. And then so you have
your show with Rachel you guys, are you still close?

Speaker 2 (28:28):
Yes?

Speaker 1 (28:29):
Okay, and you go on this strange but fun girlfriend
journey and you meet this guy Eric, and I'm sure
that the whole world thought this it's yeah, didn't It
didn't track and the engagement field felt awkward. It felt
weird just watching it felt like, Okay, we're on the
show and we're supposed to be doing this now. Yeah,
and the clocks, you know, run out. So what was

(28:49):
that all like? And what were you together saying to
each other about it?

Speaker 2 (28:54):
Yeah, definitely, and I think there is it was obviously
there's a lot you like, don't see. So I do
feel like I was really connected with him and like, Okay,
this could be it for me. We had great banter
on the show. It seems like seemingly he kind of
like had his shit together. He really chose me, which
was nice. Like I know people are like, hey, I

(29:15):
just want to feel chosen, but it's like in my
dating like life, I never really had someone besides Robbie
like stand up and really choose me, like, yes, that's
the one I want to be with, like screen, and.

Speaker 1 (29:26):
He really did. He really loved you.

Speaker 2 (29:27):
And he did. Yeah, he kept coming back for more,
like even throughout everything, and I'm like, okay, I can
tell he wants to be with me. I think it
was it was like all the other storylines that kind
of confused things. It was like Jason the other he
was like very quie, very afraid of cameras, so we
just couldn't get anywhere because he literally thought he was

(29:48):
in a simulation. Like I can't like meet you as
a person if you're so afraid of everything else that's
going on. That's why you have to buy in. If
you're agreen to like be on this kind of television,
do this kind kind of work, you have to like
be Okay, I'm going to do it. I trust myself
and I'm going to be myself. But it's like our
relationship couldn't really progress.

Speaker 1 (30:08):
Well. Also, I think that Listen, I'm older than you
and I've been in a lot many relationships, and I
do think that as you get older, your priorities change.
And I've had the thought of my life, well, I
love this person so much because of how much they
love me. That's one way. And some people say, fall
in love with someone who loves you more than you
love them. Some people marry for money. Some people marry

(30:30):
because it's a good fit, because it's an arranged marriage,
because it's a religion. Like there doesn't have to be
like one puzzle piece that fits, which young girls like
to think that there does. But if you, you know,
plucked you and moved you to Malaysia right now, you
might meet someone else. It could even be a man.
Like it's not it's the ocean. It's living and breathing
and moving.

Speaker 2 (30:48):
Yes, it's all fluid, yeah, just like water.

Speaker 1 (30:51):
Yeah, and just like sexuality and yeah, like choices and partners.

Speaker 2 (30:54):
Yeah, bringing it back, both bringing it back.

Speaker 1 (30:57):
Okay, And why do people say that dancing with the
Stars control to a breakup.

Speaker 2 (31:02):
I don't know, but it's literally not true. For like
Eric and I lived in la at the same time.
We were in the same city. Some people have like
done Dancing with the Stars in different cities and like
have made it through, right, I think. And it's an
excuse because a lot of times it's right after filming
The Bachelor, So it's like because of the timing, they're like, oh,

(31:22):
it must be dancing. It's like not that we were
in the real world and now we're just figuring out
we're not a match because we're not in the bubble
and I'm figuring more about this person and like learning
I'm not compatible, Like would have done that with or
without Dancing with the Stars?

Speaker 1 (31:35):
Oh yeah, because you know what I did want to
ask you just as the first person I've ever interviewed
in this experience. I met Tyler Cameron, but I haven't
interviewed him yet. But you said you grew up very
middle class and chef boy or d yeah, spaghettios. Yeah,
So how is a show like that? It is the bubble,
but how is that show? How does that show reflect

(31:57):
real life in any way? Because if Pete you could
fall in love with a frog if you go on
this amazing gorgeous helicopter ride, yeah, into an exotic Polynesian
island to rose pedals at the dinner table, like yeah,
and then you have to go back to Spaghettio's and like,
there's no discussion of therapy. There's not really a lot
of discussion of religion, there's not a lot of discussion

(32:19):
of politics. So yeah, the bubble is even more bubbly
than just saying the bubble of a reality show.

Speaker 2 (32:24):
That's very true.

Speaker 1 (32:25):
When a relationship. Money is one of the biggest things
that people discuss in relationships and they argue over Yeah,
so how does that even get discussed? Like this is
not real life.

Speaker 2 (32:35):
Like you try and discuss it, like I will say,
you don't know. You're not discussing it when you're there.
It's like you try and like ask the questions and
you're try and really get to know the person. I
think like if somebody is like a different class than you,
like very like super duper rich, which I'd probably be like, hey, right,
you know, I'm like y even more. But it's like

(32:55):
my girlfriend, like money is really she grew up really poor.
So the first one. The first question she asked me
is like, do you come from money. I'm like, I
don't think so, because she needs somebody to relate to,
especially being in the industry that way in LA like
you don't know where you're coming from kind of how
level your head is.

Speaker 1 (33:13):
That's what I'm saying to you. As much as religion
is something that you might want someone that is, you know,
going to raise your kids Catholic or sure that someone
not coming from money and someone coming from money is
a very different experience and you can resent it or
the person can't relate to your struggles and being on
that show, you're sitting next to someone eating caviar. And

(33:33):
then also that person's not gonna be able to give
you cavier when you get home. Theoretically, unless there's some prints,
you know, it's very unrealistic and they don't talk about things.
There should be a modern version where they do talk
about therapy, and.

Speaker 2 (33:47):
Which I will say, we do have resources now, we
have therapists on site and like afterwards they give you
lots of access, So I will say that therapy was
actually heavily involved kind of in like organized relationship.

Speaker 1 (34:01):
And you mean for the couple.

Speaker 2 (34:03):
They do both they do.

Speaker 1 (34:04):
Yeah, that's what I meant. I meant for the couple.

Speaker 2 (34:06):
Yeah, you can seek it out if you want it
for the couple time.

Speaker 1 (34:09):
And like they don't talk about prenups like a realistic thing.
It's fantasyland where prenups are an important part of life.

Speaker 2 (34:14):
Literally, we should talk about prenups. Yeah, you know, I
don't know anything about it.

Speaker 1 (34:18):
Well, I don't know. It's the point. If you're gonna
do some shockgun wedding at my house. I have a
beautiful conto, the duck on the front. You can get
married the dunfel marry. Oh my god, we're having a wedding.

Speaker 2 (34:29):
Okay, okay, But I will say you do your best
to have those conversations and just try and get a
grasp for the whole person, which I am a really
good judge of character, but also because of the bubble,
I trust myself and to bring you can pretty much
like read me like a book, like my heart's on
my sleeve. The more you talk to me, of course,
the more you find out. I think I can read
other people too, but it depends on how much you

(34:51):
give me. And a lot of people aren't bringing the
same amount to the table. I felt like nobody was
willing to like really kind of air out their shit
as much as I was. So then going into the
real world, it's like it didn't matter how many questions
I ask you, I would go on a lemon and say,
you lied to me, right, you know, just to get
through yes.

Speaker 1 (35:11):
Yes, yes, yes, yes yes, And that's not the way
to start. So you were okay, So we'll get into
your relationship. But I want to I want to attribute
it to the show for one second. Do you feel
that in not being with a man now, that you're
somehow letting some of your viewers down, or that they
invested in this journey and that you went on a

(35:32):
different path than they thought you were on.

Speaker 2 (35:35):
They might feel like that, but they do think they
do or they don't. I don't really know, honestly, because
it's like we know our position, like we have so
many people that have an opinion just by like literally
having an Instagram that it's like I can't really buy
into that at all. I don't really have the space
like this. It's almost like hard to say. I think

(35:57):
love is the great intangible It's hard to really explain.
It's hard to like accurately articulately, articulately convey. But when
I'm talking about my relationship, it's literally not so much
that like I'm in a relationship with a woman. It's
like I'm in a relationship in love for one of the.

Speaker 1 (36:14):
First times human being.

Speaker 2 (36:17):
It feels just the same. Yeah, it's like I'm not
even seeing her gender, Like I honestly do think real
love transcends gender to a point, and I truly feel
like that. So it's like if my fans, I do think,
my followers and people who wanted my journey like I
do think now they just want to see me happy.
They fell in love with me, not just because I

(36:38):
was dating, but because of like my whole personality. They
hadn't really seen someone like that in the Bachelor before.
So it's like, I'm gonna throw you for one more loop.

Speaker 1 (36:46):
On the journey. You're saying, you're not acting like this
was a secret you were keeping, because it's not right.
It was saying, this is a development in my life
that we're going on.

Speaker 2 (36:54):
And if you wanted to be happy for me for
any relationship, it would be now because this is the
happiest I've ever I feel like I'm a prophet. I
have to spread the good word about what it means
to be in a good relationship. I think I've finally
been taught about what love is for the for the
first time, and I feel like I've been like, yeah,
just like told wrong my whole life.

Speaker 1 (37:15):
Well, so it could so Robbie.

Speaker 2 (37:17):
Or not even just gender, but just that I.

Speaker 1 (37:21):
That you fell in love with. It could have been
a man, it could have been Okay, I that's what
I'm saying. You fell in love with the person. It's
just to be in a box. It's not a label,
and that's difficult for America to understand. So I think
you might be a prophet because it's good to explain
to people that.

Speaker 2 (37:35):
Which not like thinking I'm like above first of all, Okay,
I have to always like lesbians think they're better than everybody,
and I'm jeff yeah, pretentious, I'm drinking the kool aid.
So like, I'm sorry, I'm here, but like, we don't know,
we'll find out. I think it's the better option. Obviously
I'm here, right, but like, yeah, when you're ready, come
to me. Okay, it seems like you're doing fine. Yeah,

(37:57):
that's right.

Speaker 1 (37:57):
You're like the leader of a cult and you want
me able to come to you be in your lesbian Yeah, okay,
I get it, so all right, So how do you
meet Robbie? So you obviously are a person who's attracted

(38:18):
to humor, which is by the way, not lost on me,
because you met a person who is a comedian. Has
the guy the Clayton said about you that you were
the funniest person on the planet. So I'm a person
that could never be with someone who isn't funny, who
doesn't appreciate humor, like and it's a requirement. I'm a
comedy snob, Like I don't understand people. I'm funny.

Speaker 2 (38:36):
Oh my god, you have to see Robbie. Okay, literally
the best.

Speaker 1 (38:39):
So you So how did you guys meet?

Speaker 2 (38:41):
We met outside of the bars, So I was like,
like I went on tour with Dancing with the Stars
and whatever. That was an experience, yes, which is like
an experience in itself. You're literally like in and out
of like Ymca, He's like living on a tour bus.
There's twelve of us. Honestly, I felt like it did
something to my psyche that is like a deep state

(39:04):
meditation because I was just I couldn't even focus on
like day to day things because you're just trying to
stay alive. You're like waking up in a new place
every day, you're sleeping and literally a moving vehicle. I
thought I was gonna die.

Speaker 1 (39:15):
I went on a tour, and I went on a
tour with a new baby, and it sounded so cool before.

Speaker 2 (39:21):
You get it sounds so.

Speaker 1 (39:23):
So dehydrated, it's so exhausted, so dirty, yes, so dirty
and wired at the same time, I know exactly.

Speaker 2 (39:28):
But you can't get any sleep. You're always on with
like the lights and like performing live. It was crazy, right,
So maybe I blame tour. I don't know. If we
want someone to blame, let's blame tour. Okay. Anyways, we
were watching Perfect Match, the whatever dating show on Netflix,
ok and they had like a queer storyline with two girls.
It seemed very genuine, like as genuine as it could be.

(39:49):
But it was the first time I saw like girls
who I kind of identified with. Like, first of all,
they're on a reality dating show, right, wear kind of
the same clothes. Like it's like what, like you know whatever,
So I'm like, Okay, this seems genuine, like I feel like, like, uh,
you know, we stereotype people, and it's like the only
one people talked about lesbians. It was only girls who

(40:13):
like carried themselves a little more masculine. Yeah exactly, which
that's like.

Speaker 1 (40:16):
The quote unquote guy in the relationship, which is such bullshit.

Speaker 2 (40:19):
And also a label, yes exactly, like not really gender norms,
and that's like a whole different discussion. I feel that's
like too much to get into. But anyways, so it's like, Okay,
this is clearly sparking something to me. I also have
one of my best friends is queer. She's in a
relationship with a woman, so it's like we hang out,
I'd like ask our questions. Apparently now everyone tells me

(40:41):
her name is Bridget. She's gonna love that. She's getting
the shout out high Bridget and die. Okay, yeah, but
like after I met her, I told everyone else that
she made me question my sexuality, but I literally don't remember.
I like blocked it out of my head right, And
now when I come back to my friends, we're like,
I remember when you met Bridget, and you like I'm
questioning my sexuality. I'm like, don't tell her that she's

(41:02):
gonna get such a big head. I don't want to
piss off her girlfriend either, right, Like we're all such
good friends. But yeah, she was kind of like my
Shirpa in a way. So I told her when I
moved back to LA she took me to all these
queer events like two.

Speaker 1 (41:17):
I guess I wouldn't think it's interesting you said I
was questioning my sexuality because people question their faith. Yeah,
people question their careers, different things in their lives. And
so you actually like had a moment where you were
questioning your sexuality, which is not something that most people
even indulgent, not that it's an indulgence that they even
allow themselves to think because of where they the way

(41:38):
that they grew up, or where they live or what
their lives are. That's an interesting thing.

Speaker 2 (41:41):
Sorry, And I was I was thirty at the time.
In bridget is like very much. She's like so cool.
She lives in the East side like of LA if
anyone knows anything about that, like grew up in Seattle.
She's just herself. She's not really like one way like
super masculine, super feminine. She's just herself. She's just you
know what I mean. Yes, And it's like okay, exactly,

(42:03):
And I feel like that's that's everyone's goal. I feel
like that's Robbie. I feel like that's me. Like we're
just like very comfortable being who we are. So I
feel like that kind of opened up my mind too,
Like she wasn't like a stereotype, right. So we met
outside of a bar. Bridget's girlfriend is a fan of
Robbie's comedy. I had seen her on podcasts and like
knew that she did stand up and they know I'm

(42:25):
attracted to humor, so they Kyle Bridget's girlfriend, oh my god,
she's also going to die. As we were walking out,
Kyle wingmanned Robbie went up to Robbie. You have to
let her tell the story too, because like it's like whatever,
really funny when she tells it. But and Robbie was
kind of like questioning like Kyle's intentions. She's like, have

(42:46):
I met you before?

Speaker 1 (42:48):
Do you think there was an intention of a setup?
But not at all.

Speaker 2 (42:51):
Kyle was wanted to introduce Robbie to me, so that
was a setup, but it was like happenstance.

Speaker 1 (42:57):
We just happened because she thought she'd be in to you.
But she would she have thought that you would be
into her. It wasn't even that well thought out. Yeah no, no,
he'll think she's hot. Yes, nobody knew.

Speaker 2 (43:06):
They were like I don't even know if this is
Gabby's tight, but like we're gonna just like see. I
feel like a lot of it is like, you know.

Speaker 1 (43:12):
Oh, so your friends were really thinking there was a
chance that you might want to yeah, oh yeah, venture out.

Speaker 2 (43:18):
Yes.

Speaker 1 (43:18):
Oh.

Speaker 2 (43:18):
At this point, I was like trying to like date girls.
I'm like, I want to explore my sexuality. I had
been on a date with a woman I was on Riya. Oh,
so I was like, I want to give it a shot,
and like I liked being on a date with it.

Speaker 1 (43:31):
But this was quiet. No one knew in Bachelor Nation
or the public or just your friends.

Speaker 2 (43:35):
I didn't put on Instagram, just like I wouldn't put
anything like our first date really, but we would were
in public and queer events like they there's like line
dancing every Thursday, and people have seen me there. I
was like getting DMS and stuff.

Speaker 1 (43:47):
So but there was a time when you be right,
but you weren't. There was a time when you came out.
No one really knew what you were doing. You're just
hanging out with different types of people.

Speaker 2 (43:54):
It was like I was out in my personal life,
like all my family knew, all my good friends knew
r I were pushing in public, but it's like no
one out at us. Luckily, which was another reason why
we had to do it okaycause it was like, you know,
we really obviously took to each other.

Speaker 1 (44:08):
So you meet outside and what yes, okay.

Speaker 2 (44:10):
So Robbie had no idea what this what Kyle like
wanted to do with her. She's like, do I know you?
What do you want with me? And then she like
looked over at me. She's like, who's that girl? And
she's like, oh, you might recognize her like from TV.
And Robbie was like, she kind of looks familiar. I
don't know. And Kyle was like, she was the bachelorette.
And then Robbie came right over. She's like, what's this

(44:32):
The Bachelorette's gay? What's going on? Like had us all
eating out of the palm of her hand, just like
kind of you know, witting us over with her charisma
and her humor, was asking me all these like she
was like, how old are you I'm like, I'm thirty two.
She's like, what's going on? My friends were like speaking
for me because I was just like kind of stunned.
I'm like, right, we were all like kind of drunk whatever,

(44:54):
and my friends were like she's exploring. Robbie's like how
old are you? And I was like, I'm thirty two,
and she was like, okay, you're gay, Like nobody explores
this late in life. Really yeah, She's like, okay, if
you're like making this big of moves like you're gay,
and then ask.

Speaker 1 (45:10):
Her do you agree with that? Do you think that
nobody explores us late in life?

Speaker 2 (45:14):
Ummm, I don't know. No. I think it was probably
just her like very like sly, but she like obviously
just wanted to date me, right, so she was like
waiting me over, like you know, throwing it all on
me at one and she's like I'm not gonna lie, Gabby,
like I want your number. That's how he left things,
and then she like literally rushed home. She keeps her planner,
a physical planner because she's like a boomer and like

(45:37):
gets time zones confused, right, So she ran home.

Speaker 1 (45:40):
I wonder if she ever had a file effects the best.
I love a physical planner, by the way, oh my god.

Speaker 2 (45:44):
She probably loves it. Yeah, and then we went on
our first date and the rest is history.

Speaker 1 (45:49):
So you've been inseparable since your vers day pretty much.

Speaker 2 (45:53):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (45:53):
Okay, so let's get into the brass tacks. Now, Okay,
this is a monogamous relationship, yes, and you've discussed that.

Speaker 2 (46:00):
Yes, Oh my god right away, Like lesbians are so monogamous.
Monogamy is for lesbians.

Speaker 1 (46:06):
Monogamy is for lesbians. You is more jealous.

Speaker 2 (46:11):
I'm pretty jealous. She I think she could be too.
We're both learning about each other, but we're both open
about it. Like it's like we don't hide our jealousy.

Speaker 1 (46:20):
Now, how are you controlling the excitement of you obviously
opening Pandora's box for the first time, being madly in
love the pheromones, the oxytope, like everything's going and making
sure that you don't go. Sometimes when something goes so fast,
I don't want to say that, it crashes and burns,
but it's hard to sustain that. We've all been through that,

(46:43):
where like you can't believe you can't breathe, you know,
you have goosebumps, and yeah, it's like you can't. You
don't want to be without the person. You think it's
gonna be like that forever, but real life gets in
the way and careers and summer, So how do you
guys manage that and what life will bring and navigating
just what this all is. This is gotta be a
lot for you to process.

Speaker 2 (47:03):
Yeah, no, it is. And I think we're both very
level headed when it comes to it. And like in
the beginning, I was, I've you know, I've been through
it all, like it's like I was in therapy because
I think I still had a lot of shame surrounding it.
So I'm like I had to work through that before
I could really like go in this relationship guns blazing.
And then we were spending a lot of time together

(47:23):
like lesbians do and new love, and I'm like, I
don't know if this is just convenient or I'm really
into it, And then things kind of started to flow
down and we're open about it, you know, like we
are community. They always say communication, but it's like our
communication is really we work on it every day, and
we really treat our relationship like a bubble, like we
want to protect it. It's its own being. It's its

(47:45):
own entity. We have to treat it separate. It's like
we can't just like let one person fend for themselves.
It's like, this isn't the agreement that we're making, And
like we're both like have our shit together. We're both
very driven and career minded. So it's like the other
day I was like, honestly, it's amazing we're both like
up in a float in our careers because we do

(48:05):
spend so much.

Speaker 1 (48:06):
So true your boat, all boats are rising with a
tide right now. This is good. You can help each
other in different ways.

Speaker 2 (48:11):
Right, But it's like I respect her work so much.
She grinds, she's out doing stand up every night, and
I want her to like I want her because that's
what comes first, and I know she's going to be
supportive in mine. But we're just so like we do
work trips together, like we happen to be in New York.
Like we don't want kids and you don't want kids.

Speaker 1 (48:29):
No, oh, that's a decision you made together and you
had that well.

Speaker 2 (48:32):
Both of us didn't want them separately.

Speaker 1 (48:34):
Interesting, I don't think I knew that did that was
that discussed on The Bachelor? No? Interesting? See that how
you think about these things that aren't discussed on The
Bachelor from do you want to be in an open relationship?

Speaker 2 (48:42):
Yeah, yeah, that's all I was saying. It was like,
I was like, if I met the right person, then
maybe I would have kids, Like honestly, Robbie, I would
love to see little Robbie's and I would love to
see her as the mom because she's so hilarious and
she's so present. But it's like we both had tumultuous childhood.
We've both been through so much as kids, Like we

(49:02):
want to be kids now we are kids. We play
so much. We want to be able to have room
for ourselves and really treat our relationship like our childs,
like that is our priority. We want to throw all
of our resources into like protecting it and growing it
and nurturing it.

Speaker 1 (49:19):
And what about pets.

Speaker 2 (49:21):
I have a dog, she has a cat. Oh yeah,
how do they get along? They don't right now. So
we're like reading lots of material.

Speaker 1 (49:27):
You need a therapist for them, Yeah we do, and
hoping for the best season.

Speaker 2 (49:31):
The dog whisper. Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 1 (49:32):
So Sally Hirschberger, the hairstylist, once said to me that
you don't want to be a lesbian because they steal
all your shit. No, so do you guys borrow each
other's clothes or hair stuff for anything or nothing? Because
I would not. I'm on into that.

Speaker 2 (49:45):
No me either, But it's like it's different when it's
a girl. Like even when I was dating.

Speaker 1 (49:49):
Guys, man wasn't borrowing your hair?

Speaker 2 (49:52):
Oh my god, they would get into my shampoo conditioner.
I'm like, can you pay me ten dollars each pump?
Like that is so expensive and you don't appreciate it.

Speaker 1 (50:01):
No, you have seventy five colors in your hair. It's
a maintenance project.

Speaker 2 (50:04):
Really literally, Wait, that's like liquid goal.

Speaker 1 (50:07):
So you'll let her borrow your shampoo?

Speaker 2 (50:09):
Yes?

Speaker 1 (50:09):
Or use your shampoo? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (50:10):
Because it's like I've loved I love her like I've
never loved anything. Like I hate sharing. I don't really
share food like I don't.

Speaker 1 (50:17):
Well, i'll share some food. It has to be like
I don't.

Speaker 2 (50:20):
It has to be known to share. It's a share.

Speaker 1 (50:21):
But that's what I think. Yeah, you know there's four pieces, right,
there's guess when it's clear. I agree when there's a
big pile because my fiance eats more quickly I'm not
a fast eater.

Speaker 2 (50:30):
Yes, so he'll just eat and it's.

Speaker 1 (50:32):
Like, wait a minute. And I didn't, like, I don't
want to grab everything because I'll be sick. But it's
like right, He'll be like, I'm just sitting back and
waiting to see what you're gonna do. I'm like, no,
I don't want to have to be have the brusher
of telling you what I'm gonna do with that food now.

Speaker 2 (50:42):
So yes, I want to do it on my own time. Yes,
you get it.

Speaker 1 (50:45):
Yes, I really get the sharing of the food. Oh
my god, I will Paul will buy me an arimez
bag and then they'll be like some vegan bar or
some weirdo thing. And I got that he would never want.
We and we were in the store recently. It's Cierella
and we walking and he said, you know what, I
don't do any more. I don't need bars, Like I
make a big statement. I'm like, okay, yeah, And then
they were these weird healthy bars and then in the house,

(51:06):
I only bought a couple because he said he doesn't
any bars. Right, So he comes out of the pantry
and he's eating. I'm like, what do you do?

Speaker 2 (51:11):
What are you doing. Yeah, those are my bar. No,
we just discussed this.

Speaker 1 (51:15):
You said you don't need fours and now so yeah,
he could literally buy me an Arab's bag. But on
the same day, Like, what are you doing about the
bar right now? No?

Speaker 2 (51:21):
Actually, I know there's some stuff that's off limits. My
heavy on water. Heavy on water really well, why because
it's so good and it buys by the pack. It's
so good. It's my favorite water.

Speaker 1 (51:30):
I can't believe you care about branded water.

Speaker 2 (51:32):
I don't. I only care about the same and coming
from Colorado, it's no big deal. But if I get
my hands on an Evyon or if I go in La,
you can't drink the tap water.

Speaker 1 (51:42):
You really can't if you've put a filter thing on
your thing.

Speaker 2 (51:45):
No, yes, and it's so annoying and like it doesn't
go on rentals. So I buy Evyon When I was
on Dancy with the Stars by like the twelve that.

Speaker 1 (51:52):
Mean you can't drink the wa What does that mean?
You're gonna die?

Speaker 2 (51:54):
Like it's water. It's like La, it's so point I
need to.

Speaker 1 (51:57):
Get what's gonna ever sew is cigarettes and drinking alcohol?
What's gonna happen?

Speaker 2 (52:01):
It's water?

Speaker 1 (52:01):
People, don't have water. I just drink any water.

Speaker 2 (52:03):
But when you find out, let me know, because I'm
way too lazy, and I will trust that the water's
bad for you, you.

Speaker 1 (52:10):
Know, because you're here today. We got cases of water.
And is that my fancy water? Said that must love it?
Turn it.

Speaker 2 (52:15):
I think I want to see the brand comes it's
not good enough for me.

Speaker 1 (52:21):
Look I drink well, no, that looks expensive. That looks
more expensive than I know.

Speaker 2 (52:26):
It's not about the brandy. It's about the taste.

Speaker 1 (52:29):
I can't I won't go.

Speaker 2 (52:30):
I will fight to the death anyways, like the shampoo.

Speaker 1 (52:33):
Okay, so who pays?

Speaker 2 (52:48):
What?

Speaker 1 (52:48):
What do we do about the finances?

Speaker 2 (52:51):
So we split on split across the board. Yeah, she's
on strike right now. She's a writer.

Speaker 1 (52:58):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (52:59):
So it's like, you know, I don't it's I don't
know if it's like I don't really want to buy
into gender norms. I think it's even like that within
the lesbian community. It's like, you know, Robbie's a little
more masculine like, but I'm like, we don't need to
be doing.

Speaker 1 (53:14):
That, Like I shouldn't relate to money because she's a
little masculine.

Speaker 2 (53:17):
Right, And she doesn't exactly. It's like I'm with a
woman because like I'm I feel more emotionally connected because
I you know, I feel safer, like with your soul,
I like your being. Like women, you don't have to
explain a layer of each other. We know what it's
like to be a woman, like we think more similarly.
I'm not with you because like I want you to
pay for everything, right, and I do well, So it's

(53:38):
like it's fine. I feel like everything's very fair.

Speaker 1 (53:41):
Everything's fair. Do you want to get legally married? Yes
you do? Yeah, okay, yeah, interesting why.

Speaker 2 (53:47):
Once I think like I don't. I think it's just
like another way that we get to commit to each other.
So maybe like my views will change. I don't really
have political views on it, but I think for us,
like I get to be a little more romantic and
cheesy with girls. I feel like we are the most
Like if you read our text messages, you saw every

(54:07):
five seconds, it's like babe, babe, babe, We're like we
love you so much. We're like do you miss me?
We're like right, We're always holding each other, Like you
just get to be a lot more softer and loving.
So it's like she asked me to be your girlfriend
with the ring pop and like we can really yeah,
and that's so cute, so cute. Two weeks in and
she wrote me a little card. Yeah, we are always

(54:29):
giving each other cards. She got me these earrings for
my three our three month anniversary.

Speaker 1 (54:33):
Which is a big one, a big one.

Speaker 2 (54:35):
Yeah, we celebrate every month, so it's like we're in it. Yeah,
but like if a dude were to do that to me, disgusting,
turned off. Yeah, you're yea sweat, you're in an animal. Yeah, like,
do not act like that.

Speaker 1 (54:47):
Stop sweat to me, I'm turned off. That's yeah, amazing, right,
So what about the sex. There's new hardware, Yeah, things
to learn, well, not really new because I have one.
So I would go to say that you're not like
a familiar hardware. Well, I mean, any you haven't been
trying and you can test yourself for years, So I'm saying, yeah,
I mean maybe maybe I have I don't have. You

(55:07):
are a dancer, yeah, exactly, you're a gumby. I don't know,
all right, but new hardware to work with, I think.

Speaker 2 (55:12):
Yeah, yeah, I think like also, I feel safer with
the woman. I feel less judge and I feel like
I feel like there doesn't have to be there's nothing
off limits. If I have a question, I'm going to
ask before after during we like will debrief on our
sex life. You know, it feels just like very safe.
Where As a man, I felt like there was sometimes

(55:35):
unrealistic expectations. I felt like there was unsaid expectations.

Speaker 1 (55:39):
You're in your own head, yes, and you don't know
what someone's thinking.

Speaker 2 (55:42):
And that's interesting because we weren't just like as open
about it, like we weren't speaking the same language. I
didn't feel as connected. So I feel like that part
has been like really freeing for me.

Speaker 1 (55:53):
That makes a lot of sense. Yeah, that makes a
lot of sense. It's like this one thing. People will
talk about anything, but you don't often talk about sex
to your partner.

Speaker 2 (56:01):
It seems strange. Yes, you know, it seems.

Speaker 1 (56:03):
Like a weird topic because it seems you're not supposed
to talk about sex in bed and you're not, then
what are you gonna do, like at lunch just.

Speaker 2 (56:09):
Like let's talk about right. It can be awkward, yeah, exactly,
and with us like, yeah, it's a little awkward, but
it's like it's worth it because we want to talk
about everything, and we want to make sure the other
person is pleased and happy. Like sex is fun, yeah,
and it's it's freeing, it's liberating, especially when you do
it with someone that you feel safe with.

Speaker 1 (56:28):
Yes, you have to feel safe and trusting at the
one hundred percent then it really that's so true, And
you have to respect the other person. I feel like, yes,
you have to respect somebody to be sexually attracted to them.

Speaker 2 (56:37):
I think, oh yeah, yeah, absolutely, And like I've dated,
Like I went through my phase in my twenties where
it's like I slept around. I was like, I'm doing
this for me, like, don't slut shame me. But it's
like is it that or like was I kind of
manipulated into this thinking because like that's what the men
were doing and I wanted attention.

Speaker 1 (56:56):
It's funny because the word I've I've once called someone
a name and and have been have been said to
have slut shamed them. And I think about that as
a term in general, just because if someone decides to
sleep around with a bunch of people, yeah, are we
and sometimes cheating? And are we supposed to respect that?

Speaker 2 (57:14):
Like?

Speaker 1 (57:14):
Am I supposed to think that's great? That doesn't mean
that I don't have to think that's great. Maybe I
don't have to use a word to assign to it,
but I don't have to think that's great necessarily. Like
I don't have to think that's a great idea any
more than I do someone just you know, cursing out
everybody around them, like just like you're curse shaming. Like
I'm allowed to not think that that's a great idea
for my daughter, For example, I don't want her to

(57:36):
sleep with a bunch of different people.

Speaker 2 (57:37):
Maybe, yeah, I think it's just like I think we
all need to understand actually the intentions of her actions.
Like it's like I felt like I was standing up
to the men and it was like internalized misogyny almost
like I can be just like you, and like even
though I felt empowering, yes, but it wasn't. It was
sad and it was desperate for me, Like, but that's
for me coming out on the other side, you know,

(57:59):
And it's like no, oh, I was just so down
bad and I wanted attention and like I used that
like as escape goes.

Speaker 1 (58:05):
I've seen that a lot. I remember the girls that
I grew up with that were very advanced and very
what we called promiscuous. And I see they were hot
and it seemed like they acted like they were in control,
but there was a sadness. I get what you're saying
right right, and can be confused.

Speaker 2 (58:19):
And it's just because and like now I know sex,
it's like I need an emotional connection, and with Robbie,
I feel very emotionally connected.

Speaker 1 (58:28):
Yes, So what did Eric say someone you were engaged to,
your family knew? What did he say?

Speaker 2 (58:33):
Nothing? Not a peep. Haven't heard a word really, Yeah,
from like a lot of my previous ex boyfriends, I
haven't heard anything.

Speaker 1 (58:39):
Really not, just like I'm so glad to see you're
happy or congratulations.

Speaker 2 (58:42):
No, I think either they're all taking it personally or
I have noticed, like even with I saw some friends
this last weekend, some nurses. We went to Vegas for
the Beyonce concert, and like they were amazing. It was
so great. She's literally an earth angel. She's like so
flawless right beyond why. But they're like, we're getting all
these text messages from my previous co workers like did

(59:05):
you know, Like what do you think? Instead of like
texting me directly?

Speaker 1 (59:09):
I find that too. Congratulations it's funny you say that.
Ye're just wow interesting you know anything?

Speaker 2 (59:14):
I know.

Speaker 1 (59:14):
I find that all the time. Yeah, so many people
will be talking about something. I won't get one text
about something.

Speaker 2 (59:20):
Yes, very when I'm Bachelor, Bachelotte, Dancing with the Stars,
my phone would blow up after anything. And now it's like,
I'm clearly so happy, Like I'm like like, thank god,
we did this, we get to we have another reason
to celebrate our relationship.

Speaker 1 (59:33):
Like you want to see the text now, not that
dancing with the Stars. You want somebody to say, I'm
so that's so fascinating. You think that maybe that the
men feel like not only rejected, but that they must
have been defective or something because after being with them,
now you've gone to be with a woman. Do you
know how that happens? Sometimes people feel like they took
that personally.

Speaker 2 (59:52):
Yeah, oh there's something going on. I don't know what
because it's like I'm so new to it and I
don't I cannot understand and men, but I'm sure it's
personal and their egos hurt. That's all I know about him.

Speaker 1 (01:00:04):
Well, they we'll find out after that. This will be
Now I'm invested in knowing what the real answer is
about that. And what about so your grandfather was like
a breakout character, right, yes, what about him? He's got
to be old school? Yeah, what does he think?

Speaker 2 (01:00:17):
He honestly like we haven't talked about it. I know,
like Bachelor Nation is going to be like, but it's
like he's eighty five, like let him live.

Speaker 1 (01:00:25):
Right, And that's also if he thinks he doesn't want
to talk about having sex with a man either.

Speaker 2 (01:00:29):
For the most story, like he's never asking me who
I'm dating guy or girl? Exactly right.

Speaker 1 (01:00:33):
He's on the show and that was fun, but he's
not really talking about are you connected or you right?

Speaker 2 (01:00:38):
Like he's my grandpa, Like you know, he'll like slip
a check, like we'll have a laugh, kind of talk
about his previous life. He's lived a million lives. But
it's like not really like about me. Yeah, you don't
need him to like, yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 (01:00:52):
He doesn't need to be on this interview talking about
how he feels about you being with a woman.

Speaker 2 (01:00:55):
Totally, it's not going to affect him. He's going to
Bridge every Tuesday Thursday. Let the Man live.

Speaker 1 (01:01:00):
The man looks and you're high school friends people you
grew up with everything, like every you feel, is there
anybody that you feel strange around or weird or uncomfortable
or knowing it like being like I wonder if they know.

Speaker 2 (01:01:15):
I think not like not specifically and not strange, but
I do feel like people don't really know how to
ask questions. They're like kind of afraid or think I'm
different or somehow have changed like completely. I'm like no,
I'm literally exactly the same, if anything, like I'm more
myself because you know, when you're in a good relationship,
it gives you the confidence to like really be yourself. Yes,

(01:01:37):
so I felt that, but they're just like it's I
don't think they're less interested. I think they don't know
how to be interested and don't want to hurt my
feelings because just like every other taboo topic like in
our country, like race and class, like people are just
like afraid or they're going to say the wrong way exactly.
We've done that to people.

Speaker 1 (01:01:56):
Yes, that's true.

Speaker 2 (01:01:57):
I know.

Speaker 1 (01:01:57):
It's so funny because people act like they're so we're
so honest and open now, and it's not true because
no everyone says that. You just say it, but everybody
gets crucified for saying anything, for saying a word wrong,
for getting a term wrong.

Speaker 2 (01:02:09):
And that's right.

Speaker 1 (01:02:10):
Everyone's stifled now and secretly talks about how they really
feel instead of openly saying something. Maybe someone says something
wrong to you, like I could say something wrong here
with the language I'm using, you know, Or in another conversation,
is she a that you may not know the right
words and you get killed for something you just didn't
know because you're ignorant. And if you spend all your
time studying something, you wouldn't even be able to be

(01:02:30):
open in life.

Speaker 2 (01:02:31):
No, exactly, and then you're so afraid. And that's why
I feel like Robbie and I like talk so much
ad nauseum about everything, but we have similar enough in
different views. We're both very like nothing's personal. It does
come from like a lack of education, not even that,
but a lack of experience, Like it is truly hard
to explain my experience to someone because you haven't been there.

Speaker 1 (01:02:52):
And part of it's a new language, it's a different language,
and it's totally fine, right, Like it's okay.

Speaker 2 (01:02:57):
I understand that there's gonna be a little of that disconnect.

Speaker 1 (01:03:01):
So this is a very this has been and we're
gonna have Robbie coming now like a lot. It's a long,
breathing conversation. I didn't see it, but I heard, like
the first time you talked about this was on the View,
which is who told you to do that? I'm just
curious because I've been on the View. Oh yeah, yeah,
and I just wonder who told you to do that
or something.

Speaker 2 (01:03:21):
No, I have close relationships with the people who over
to say yeah, And I didn't want to do a
serious interview like Gma, like this doesn't need to be
like a serious like I'm a light person. It's not
like a deep journalistic deep dive. It's like it's not
like I don't want to talk about my past. I
just like want to be able. I need to stop
somewhere and let people know I'm dating a woman, because

(01:03:42):
my fan base in particular knows my for dating men.

Speaker 1 (01:03:46):
That was where the first stop was what happened on
the View.

Speaker 2 (01:03:48):
I thought it was a great interview. I think like
it's a panel. I think there's different personalities. That's why
the view is the view, and they have like a
group of women with different perspectives. So I really don't
think I think they were great. I said what I
need to say, and like I can hold my own like,
I don't need I'm the same. Yes, I don't need
somebody to like baby me or be like oh my god,

(01:04:10):
like oh you're lesbian. It's like, no, I'm here to
like tell my story. I already feel empowered. This already
feels good that you're giving me a chance to say this,
or other people would write my own story for me now.

Speaker 1 (01:04:22):
But I'm like you, I like a little heat in
the room. Yeah, I like a little like I don't
need to like look at questions hit me. You like it,
you got your challenge by it, you enjoy it interesting. Yeah, okay,
what made you come to talk to me? I'm so flattered.
I'm so honored.

Speaker 2 (01:04:37):
No, me too, thank you for having me. I think
we were thinking, like obviously, I want to be able
to discuss it in a long form way, like just naturally,
as a person, I have a lot of thoughts, I
have a lot of opinions. I'm naturally introspective. This is
something different that's happened to me later in life, so
like I would love to be able to talk about it,
especially since it's so different from my history. And my

(01:04:59):
publicists really highly of you.

Speaker 1 (01:05:01):
Oh nice, awesome, all right, well tell her thank you.

Speaker 2 (01:05:03):
Yes, I and love iHeart like I've worked with them before.

Speaker 1 (01:05:06):
Amazing. Yes, have you thought about podcasting?

Speaker 2 (01:05:08):
Yes, we're we're shopping right now.

Speaker 1 (01:05:10):
Are you doing one together or are you gonna do
one on you? Yes? She? How do you want to
talk about? And I think that be great. I like
there's something that I don't know, like it's not doesn't
define you, but something about the exploring your sexuality thing.
I think that's an interesting jumping off point of our podcast,
so we could talk about it.