July 5, 2024 • 16 mins
It sounds so easy, it's intoxicating. The gifts, the love-bombing, the STUFF. But you should understand that there's a price... and in the end it's better to make it on your own first. It's harder, but it's worth it.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
Marrying for money, filling the void with stuff and money,
and someone who's wealthy will avoid you dealing with the
real stuff. So are you not getting what you want sexually,
emotionally from an intellectual standpoint, maybe from a business standpoint.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
I've seen this too with other people.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
It's familiar to me because I recognize it that you
are in a relationship and you're able to brag and
flex and show to everybody else how generous your partner
is and how much they've bought you.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
And your friends think that this is prince charming.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
And that you know, how could you ever walk away
from something like that? And you're inside your body your
mind saying I know this is amazing. I'm spoiled and
I'll never find someone who will spoil.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
Me like this again.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
But in your body and your heart and your truth,
you know that there's there are other things missing, human connection,
intellectual drive that someone has that you can. You know
that you're challenged by so many women, so many women,
more than many, not all women, but an almost infinite
(01:30):
number of women want to date or marry for money.
There's no discussion. I hear all women talking about it.
I've been the woman talking about it. I get it,
I really get it. It seems so easy, it looks
so easy. You're cute, you have something to offer, You're young,
(01:51):
you have good skin, your sexy, you're a girl, and
that means that a man should buy you drinks and
a man should buy you dinner, and you should wait
around all year for a man to buy you a Chanelle.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
Handbag and the mall.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
And I've been there to say that I've been there,
I've lived there. So I grew up, went to like
thirteen schools, and there were a lot of highs and
lows about money.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
It was a roller coaster.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
My stepfather was a horse trainer and so we were
near a lot of money at the racetrack with a
lot of rich horse owners.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
And we were in Saratoga.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
And we were adjacent to money, but we weren't the owners.
He was the trainer and he also was a gambler,
so it was very mercurial. It went from like gambling
and winning a game to having, you know, a Mercedes
in the driveway. But we had a card table we
ate off of, and no furniture anywhere in the house
except for in my room. So I have had money,
(02:58):
noise for years. I still have money noise in a
different way, but I had money noise forever. And my
mother married two men because she couldn't support herself, and
they love bombed her. My real father was a horse
trainer and he was a hot shot, and my stepfather
went over his skis to buy her nice things and whenever.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
She wanted when he had money, and she was ride
or diye. She was good when things were bad too.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
I will say that, which I totally relate to, because
as you know, I can go from Aramis to the
dollar store. So she would always walk around at overalls
and she's highs and lows.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
I'm sure that's where I get it.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
She was very vain in her, like almost the way
that when I renovate homes, I care about like the
flooring and the walls and the construction.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
I don't really care that much about the furniture. From
an expensive perspective.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
She was very like that, Like she liked nice things,
and she cared about how she looked to like her
age her weight to an obsessive point. But she wasn't
vain in that she'd go in overalls to you know,
the dry cleaner. I remember that, and I'm obviously exactly
like that, but I'm digressing.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
There was a money noise in my house because I
knew that she.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
Was being beaten and abused when it got really ugly,
but she couldn't leave because of the money she had
to support herself.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
And she would say to me, I gave up my
whole life for you. I gave up my whole life,
you know, to support you.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
Which was extremely guilt pushing as a young child, and
now as an adult, I get it. She couldn't afford
her own life. She had me and she was being
love bombed, and there was a price. So I bring
up dating for money and marrying for money and just
wanting to meet a rich person, because I get it.
And when I was younger, I wanted that. I wanted
someone to save me, to sweep me away, and even
(04:50):
into my thirties and I was, you know, engaged, and
the man gave me a credit card, and I loved
him deeply. He gave me a credit card still the
of my life. Well was the love of my life,
and wanted, you know, to get us an apartment, and
like he wanted the program to start, and I got
anxiety because I had my Bethany bakes cookie business, and
(05:13):
I wanted to do something myself, and something in my body,
which I talked about on this podcast before, told me
that I needed to do it myself, which is much harder.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
And years ago I dated a.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
Very very rich guy who was in the music industry,
and it was like we were flying on his parents'
private plane to Saint Martin and his mom would take
me shopping, and even my ex husband, like his mom
was wealthy and like she'd take me shopping, and you know,
it was intoxicating.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
I had clothes that I wouldn't have had.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
I remember I had an Alexander mc queen jumpsuit, you know,
in my in my early twenties, and like that was
intoxicating and I liked it. And I even heard alex
Earl on social media say like that Braxton gave her
four hundred dollars to gamble and now she makes her
own money, you know, but it still feels good when
a man gives you money to gamble.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
It's something ingrained in us. It's something that's you know,
been just fortified and it's.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
Just been massaged in a deep tissue massage into our pores,
you know. For because society, that's what TV shows show.
That's exciting. That's a pretty woman showed she's the hooker,
then he like whisks her away or that's what goes on.
So I kind of always wanted that too, you know,
it just would have been it felt like it would
(06:27):
have been easy. So now I'm on the other side
of it. Okay, So now not only do I have
a lot of money, have I made a lot of money?
And do I make a lot of money? And I
can buy myself anything. I can't buy myself a private plan.
I mean, I could buy myself a private plan, actually,
but I but I couldn't probably buy it and afford to
(06:48):
run it, and I'd have to sell every home I have.
And I couldn't afford to buy a three hundred foot
in Maggie yacht, you know. But I can afford to
do pretty much anything I want, and I can afford
to buy any thing I want. And I've had the
person who will buy me anything that I want. And
(07:08):
I've found that it goes two ways, because when I
tell you that it has a price, there's no way
to describe it. And it's not only the price that
you think the price that people think it is is okay,
Let's say it's a.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
Man and a woman.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
A man is rich and he's buying someone anything she wants.
The price is not only that, like does he control her?
Speaker 2 (07:28):
Maybe? Does he make the decisions? Maybe? Do they get divorced?
Speaker 1 (07:31):
And she has no recourse and no financial protection, didn't
know where all the money was coming from.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
Was she stupid?
Speaker 1 (07:37):
Like the girlfriend that I used to have that was
married to a really rich guy, and instead of like
saving money or buying things that were investments, she would
buy like Fendy turquoise pony pants because she thought that
the money would never run out. And I used to think,
buy yourself some like solid items so later when you
break up, which they did, you're gonna have something to
show for it. But women get excited, They get caught
(07:57):
up in the flexing in front of other women. It's
what The Housewives was made of. Do you know how
much flexing there goes on with no real money? And
I look at all the money lists and everybody prints
saying the net worth of all of us, and I
know what a lot of us make and have it.
It's always wrong, like respectfully, it's like this flex that
goes on, and women who have men pay for everything
(08:21):
are doing that flex too.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
But there's another part to it.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
There's another really important part to it, and what that
is is there's a price even beyond all that. I've
been in a situation where even though I have money,
I'm being not only love bombed, but stuff bombed, and
it's intoxicating. You kind of almost think that someone just
treating you like a princess and buying you things all
(08:46):
the time, you kind of start to think that that's love.
And even if the person does give you love, there's
something that's missing that makes them feel the need to
fill the voice with the stuff you can ren and
there's something that's missing in you or me, And even
though you can have anything you want or you already
(09:08):
have everything, in filling the void with the stuff, because
filling the void with the stuff will make you avoid
the real stuff. So I just caution you to be
(09:30):
looking for money, because those who marry or date for
money pay for the rest of their lives. And only
because I have my own money and because I'm successful
and because I earn am I in a position to
walk away from or not be in a situation like that.
(09:51):
Because it's so tempting and intoxicating. And if I didn't
have any money, if I didn't earn any money, if
I didn't have my own career, I I would stay
with that because that intoxication would be impossible to walk
away from, and I'd become increasingly more miserable. And when
in those situations, I have become increasingly more miserable because
(10:12):
I'm selling out. I almost sold out when I was
married years ago. I almost sold out when I was
with the wealthy guy. It's happened, you know, many times
where I've almost sold out.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
Because I'm in something and I'm not really happy.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
And that's not the only reason I'm not not happy,
because I'm being showered with gifts. I'm not happy, and
the gifts are masking the unhappiness.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
And that's what rich women do. That's what Palm Beach
is made of.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
That's what you know, certain people in the Hampton's and
the Upper East Side of Manhattan is made of.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
You know, you see it.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
You see it on women's faces like a vacancy, and
you see it on women's labels.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
Everything. It's a flex, you know, head to toe dripping.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
I had a woman a billionaire that I know who's
very deeply insecure, and her entire identity is her money.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
It's her entire personality.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
And by the way, I was in a relationship with
someone whose personality was their money. That was their personality
was to buy and to you know, to subtly impress.
It wasn't like braggy. It was just like constantly, you know.
And it's a beautiful thing to give someone a gift,
and it's a beautiful thing to be generous, but it's
one thing when it's an avoidance of something else. So
(11:27):
I knew this wealthy woman who's a billionaire and very
deeply insecure, because this person is constantly flexing their money.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
It's their identity. It really is their whole personality.
Speaker 1 (11:37):
It's who they are, and it's why other people associate
with them.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
And they run the show.
Speaker 1 (11:42):
They run the program, They control everything, not unlike a
very wealthy man. And that's what happens in those relationships too.
They run the program. And by the way, even if
someone is not actively running the program, meaning they're not
aggressive and they're not controlling and they're not abusive. He
who makes the gold makes the rules. She who makes
the gold makes the rules. They are still in a
controlling power position. And often people who have money want
(12:05):
someone more subservient because they want to be in the
controlling position. And we can market it as Harrison Bucker saying,
a woman should be a homemaker, but it's not you know,
it's not that attractive once a woman's trap doesn't know
how to make her own money and feels like she
cannot sleep in her Chanel handbags. So I just like
anything in work, like if you experience a death or
(12:26):
some challenges and you don't emotionally deal with it, like
you don't go to therapy, you repress it. Something happens
in your childhood, you stuff it.
Speaker 2 (12:35):
It always comes out. Nobody gets out without paying the bill.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
So if you are marrying or dating for money and
not doing for yourself, it will come out later in
some way. You will be miserable or everybody else will
think you're great because they think you're rich, and they
think it's so they're envious of your wealth, but you're
miserable inside. So that's the Housewives. That literally is the Housewives.
It's more important to show people how much you have than.
Speaker 2 (13:02):
Actually what you have. And even with the way people.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
Look, you know, it's more important to look amazing in
your filtered, bullshit pictures than to actually feel amazing in
your real life, which is why it's jarring that I
post for people, but I actually look like. Some people
are like, what's wrong with her? Why is she posted
to looking like a wreck?
Speaker 2 (13:20):
Why? Because I'm not a phony piece of shit. I'm
doing the work like I am doing the work I've
been in therapy.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
I'm doing the goddamn work. And that's how I've come
to all of this, and so it will come out.
So you better work, and you better have your own thing,
because it will rise to the surface and it will
surprise you.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
And you cannot.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
Sleep with your money. And that doesn't mean that you
making your own money is going to make you happy.
But I can tell you that you're making your own
money and deciding whether to give it all away to
charity or deciding whether to buy you know, arimes bags
and live in them. That's your choice, and you can
bob and weave. I've gone through fai. I'm going to
tell you the truth. Like I was in a relationship
(14:03):
that was extremely materialistic and it was intoxicating. I've been
in relationships that were very materialistic and they're intoxicating, And
then I find myself wanting to sell everything because I
was medicating with stuff. I was unhappy, I was bored,
I was depressed, and I was despondent, and stuff was
(14:26):
a good way to like temporarily medicate. People medicate with alcohol,
people medicate with food, people medicate with sugar, people medicate
with drugs, people medicate with work. I was medicating with stuff,
and I sit there with all this stuff, like.
Speaker 2 (14:42):
What the fuck? Who needs all this shit? Who needs
all this shit?
Speaker 1 (14:46):
I don't, you know. And so it's something to think about.
So when you look at all those young girls on
social media unboxing their luck's goods, think about the fact
that they might just be miserable and that but might
be their entertainment. And if they are able to impress
you with what they have, it makes them feel better
(15:06):
about what they don't have emotionally or intellectually in their
lives or morally.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
They may not feel valued.
Speaker 1 (15:14):
You know, it doesn't mean you're valued that someone buys
you a luxury piece, and you shouldn't be seeking that out.
And I've been there and I've done it. I've stood
in malls and hoped that a guy would buy me
something like a dog like your way. I remember going
with someone in Vegas and you're hoping they're going to
want to take you shopping.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
And they know. Now. Some of them like that. I
know men who really.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
Love gold Diggers because it's the transaction like meeting the
girls there. She's super hot, the guy's super rich. By
the third date, he's got her an Arimez bag, she's
flexing to our friends.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
They think it's great.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
A year and a half later, she's cheating on him,
you know, and then it's a fight and he may
want some of the stuff back.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
Or whatever it is. It's what goes on. It's what
goes on.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
I've seen it. I've been I've been there and wanted
someone to buy me some thing. You know, I've wanted
them to pay for it, and you know, it feels
really good. I can fucking buy myself flowers, shoes on
my feet, I bought them.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
I depend on me. So if you're a mom, because
a lot of you are a mom's, you talk to
those daughters
Marrying for money, filling the void with stuff and money,
and someone who's wealthy will avoid you dealing with the
real stuff. So are you not getting what you want sexually,
emotionally from an intellectual standpoint, maybe from a business standpoint.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
I've seen this too with other people.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
It's familiar to me because I recognize it that you
are in a relationship and you're able to brag and
flex and show to everybody else how generous your partner
is and how much they've bought you.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
And your friends think that this is prince charming.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
And that you know, how could you ever walk away
from something like that? And you're inside your body your
mind saying I know this is amazing. I'm spoiled and
I'll never find someone who will spoil.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
Me like this again.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
But in your body and your heart and your truth,
you know that there's there are other things missing, human connection,
intellectual drive that someone has that you can. You know
that you're challenged by so many women, so many women,
more than many, not all women, but an almost infinite
(01:30):
number of women want to date or marry for money.
There's no discussion. I hear all women talking about it.
I've been the woman talking about it. I get it,
I really get it. It seems so easy, it looks
so easy. You're cute, you have something to offer, You're young,
(01:51):
you have good skin, your sexy, you're a girl, and
that means that a man should buy you drinks and
a man should buy you dinner, and you should wait
around all year for a man to buy you a Chanelle.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
Handbag and the mall.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
And I've been there to say that I've been there,
I've lived there. So I grew up, went to like
thirteen schools, and there were a lot of highs and
lows about money.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
It was a roller coaster.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
My stepfather was a horse trainer and so we were
near a lot of money at the racetrack with a
lot of rich horse owners.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
And we were in Saratoga.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
And we were adjacent to money, but we weren't the owners.
He was the trainer and he also was a gambler,
so it was very mercurial. It went from like gambling
and winning a game to having, you know, a Mercedes
in the driveway. But we had a card table we
ate off of, and no furniture anywhere in the house
except for in my room. So I have had money,
(02:58):
noise for years. I still have money noise in a
different way, but I had money noise forever. And my
mother married two men because she couldn't support herself, and
they love bombed her. My real father was a horse
trainer and he was a hot shot, and my stepfather
went over his skis to buy her nice things and whenever.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
She wanted when he had money, and she was ride
or diye. She was good when things were bad too.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
I will say that, which I totally relate to, because
as you know, I can go from Aramis to the
dollar store. So she would always walk around at overalls
and she's highs and lows.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
I'm sure that's where I get it.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
She was very vain in her, like almost the way
that when I renovate homes, I care about like the
flooring and the walls and the construction.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
I don't really care that much about the furniture. From
an expensive perspective.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
She was very like that, Like she liked nice things,
and she cared about how she looked to like her
age her weight to an obsessive point. But she wasn't
vain in that she'd go in overalls to you know,
the dry cleaner. I remember that, and I'm obviously exactly
like that, but I'm digressing.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
There was a money noise in my house because I
knew that she.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
Was being beaten and abused when it got really ugly,
but she couldn't leave because of the money she had
to support herself.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
And she would say to me, I gave up my
whole life for you. I gave up my whole life,
you know, to support you.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
Which was extremely guilt pushing as a young child, and
now as an adult, I get it. She couldn't afford
her own life. She had me and she was being
love bombed, and there was a price. So I bring
up dating for money and marrying for money and just
wanting to meet a rich person, because I get it.
And when I was younger, I wanted that. I wanted
someone to save me, to sweep me away, and even
(04:50):
into my thirties and I was, you know, engaged, and
the man gave me a credit card, and I loved
him deeply. He gave me a credit card still the
of my life. Well was the love of my life,
and wanted, you know, to get us an apartment, and
like he wanted the program to start, and I got
anxiety because I had my Bethany bakes cookie business, and
(05:13):
I wanted to do something myself, and something in my body,
which I talked about on this podcast before, told me
that I needed to do it myself, which is much harder.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
And years ago I dated a.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
Very very rich guy who was in the music industry,
and it was like we were flying on his parents'
private plane to Saint Martin and his mom would take
me shopping, and even my ex husband, like his mom
was wealthy and like she'd take me shopping, and you know,
it was intoxicating.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
I had clothes that I wouldn't have had.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
I remember I had an Alexander mc queen jumpsuit, you know,
in my in my early twenties, and like that was
intoxicating and I liked it. And I even heard alex
Earl on social media say like that Braxton gave her
four hundred dollars to gamble and now she makes her
own money, you know, but it still feels good when
a man gives you money to gamble.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
It's something ingrained in us. It's something that's you know,
been just fortified and it's.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
Just been massaged in a deep tissue massage into our pores,
you know. For because society, that's what TV shows show.
That's exciting. That's a pretty woman showed she's the hooker,
then he like whisks her away or that's what goes on.
So I kind of always wanted that too, you know,
it just would have been it felt like it would
(06:27):
have been easy. So now I'm on the other side
of it. Okay, So now not only do I have
a lot of money, have I made a lot of money?
And do I make a lot of money? And I
can buy myself anything. I can't buy myself a private plan.
I mean, I could buy myself a private plan, actually,
but I but I couldn't probably buy it and afford to
(06:48):
run it, and I'd have to sell every home I have.
And I couldn't afford to buy a three hundred foot
in Maggie yacht, you know. But I can afford to
do pretty much anything I want, and I can afford
to buy any thing I want. And I've had the
person who will buy me anything that I want. And
(07:08):
I've found that it goes two ways, because when I
tell you that it has a price, there's no way
to describe it. And it's not only the price that
you think the price that people think it is is okay,
Let's say it's a.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
Man and a woman.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
A man is rich and he's buying someone anything she wants.
The price is not only that, like does he control her?
Speaker 2 (07:28):
Maybe? Does he make the decisions? Maybe? Do they get divorced?
Speaker 1 (07:31):
And she has no recourse and no financial protection, didn't
know where all the money was coming from.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
Was she stupid?
Speaker 1 (07:37):
Like the girlfriend that I used to have that was
married to a really rich guy, and instead of like
saving money or buying things that were investments, she would
buy like Fendy turquoise pony pants because she thought that
the money would never run out. And I used to think,
buy yourself some like solid items so later when you
break up, which they did, you're gonna have something to
show for it. But women get excited, They get caught
(07:57):
up in the flexing in front of other women. It's
what The Housewives was made of. Do you know how
much flexing there goes on with no real money? And
I look at all the money lists and everybody prints
saying the net worth of all of us, and I
know what a lot of us make and have it.
It's always wrong, like respectfully, it's like this flex that
goes on, and women who have men pay for everything
(08:21):
are doing that flex too.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
But there's another part to it.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
There's another really important part to it, and what that
is is there's a price even beyond all that. I've
been in a situation where even though I have money,
I'm being not only love bombed, but stuff bombed, and
it's intoxicating. You kind of almost think that someone just
treating you like a princess and buying you things all
(08:46):
the time, you kind of start to think that that's love.
And even if the person does give you love, there's
something that's missing that makes them feel the need to
fill the voice with the stuff you can ren and
there's something that's missing in you or me, And even
though you can have anything you want or you already
(09:08):
have everything, in filling the void with the stuff, because
filling the void with the stuff will make you avoid
the real stuff. So I just caution you to be
(09:30):
looking for money, because those who marry or date for
money pay for the rest of their lives. And only
because I have my own money and because I'm successful
and because I earn am I in a position to
walk away from or not be in a situation like that.
(09:51):
Because it's so tempting and intoxicating. And if I didn't
have any money, if I didn't earn any money, if
I didn't have my own career, I I would stay
with that because that intoxication would be impossible to walk
away from, and I'd become increasingly more miserable. And when
in those situations, I have become increasingly more miserable because
(10:12):
I'm selling out. I almost sold out when I was
married years ago. I almost sold out when I was
with the wealthy guy. It's happened, you know, many times
where I've almost sold out.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
Because I'm in something and I'm not really happy.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
And that's not the only reason I'm not not happy,
because I'm being showered with gifts. I'm not happy, and
the gifts are masking the unhappiness.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
And that's what rich women do. That's what Palm Beach
is made of.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
That's what you know, certain people in the Hampton's and
the Upper East Side of Manhattan is made of.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
You know, you see it.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
You see it on women's faces like a vacancy, and
you see it on women's labels.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
Everything. It's a flex, you know, head to toe dripping.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
I had a woman a billionaire that I know who's
very deeply insecure, and her entire identity is her money.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
It's her entire personality.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
And by the way, I was in a relationship with
someone whose personality was their money. That was their personality
was to buy and to you know, to subtly impress.
It wasn't like braggy. It was just like constantly, you know.
And it's a beautiful thing to give someone a gift,
and it's a beautiful thing to be generous, but it's
one thing when it's an avoidance of something else. So
(11:27):
I knew this wealthy woman who's a billionaire and very
deeply insecure, because this person is constantly flexing their money.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
It's their identity. It really is their whole personality.
Speaker 1 (11:37):
It's who they are, and it's why other people associate
with them.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
And they run the show.
Speaker 1 (11:42):
They run the program, They control everything, not unlike a
very wealthy man. And that's what happens in those relationships too.
They run the program. And by the way, even if
someone is not actively running the program, meaning they're not
aggressive and they're not controlling and they're not abusive. He
who makes the gold makes the rules. She who makes
the gold makes the rules. They are still in a
controlling power position. And often people who have money want
(12:05):
someone more subservient because they want to be in the
controlling position. And we can market it as Harrison Bucker saying,
a woman should be a homemaker, but it's not you know,
it's not that attractive once a woman's trap doesn't know
how to make her own money and feels like she
cannot sleep in her Chanel handbags. So I just like
anything in work, like if you experience a death or
(12:26):
some challenges and you don't emotionally deal with it, like
you don't go to therapy, you repress it. Something happens
in your childhood, you stuff it.
Speaker 2 (12:35):
It always comes out. Nobody gets out without paying the bill.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
So if you are marrying or dating for money and
not doing for yourself, it will come out later in
some way. You will be miserable or everybody else will
think you're great because they think you're rich, and they
think it's so they're envious of your wealth, but you're
miserable inside. So that's the Housewives. That literally is the Housewives.
It's more important to show people how much you have than.
Speaker 2 (13:02):
Actually what you have. And even with the way people.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
Look, you know, it's more important to look amazing in
your filtered, bullshit pictures than to actually feel amazing in
your real life, which is why it's jarring that I
post for people, but I actually look like. Some people
are like, what's wrong with her? Why is she posted
to looking like a wreck?
Speaker 2 (13:20):
Why? Because I'm not a phony piece of shit. I'm
doing the work like I am doing the work I've
been in therapy.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
I'm doing the goddamn work. And that's how I've come
to all of this, and so it will come out.
So you better work, and you better have your own thing,
because it will rise to the surface and it will
surprise you.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
And you cannot.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
Sleep with your money. And that doesn't mean that you
making your own money is going to make you happy.
But I can tell you that you're making your own
money and deciding whether to give it all away to
charity or deciding whether to buy you know, arimes bags
and live in them. That's your choice, and you can
bob and weave. I've gone through fai. I'm going to
tell you the truth. Like I was in a relationship
(14:03):
that was extremely materialistic and it was intoxicating. I've been
in relationships that were very materialistic and they're intoxicating, And
then I find myself wanting to sell everything because I
was medicating with stuff. I was unhappy, I was bored,
I was depressed, and I was despondent, and stuff was
(14:26):
a good way to like temporarily medicate. People medicate with alcohol,
people medicate with food, people medicate with sugar, people medicate
with drugs, people medicate with work. I was medicating with stuff,
and I sit there with all this stuff, like.
Speaker 2 (14:42):
What the fuck? Who needs all this shit? Who needs
all this shit?
Speaker 1 (14:46):
I don't, you know. And so it's something to think about.
So when you look at all those young girls on
social media unboxing their luck's goods, think about the fact
that they might just be miserable and that but might
be their entertainment. And if they are able to impress
you with what they have, it makes them feel better
(15:06):
about what they don't have emotionally or intellectually in their
lives or morally.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
They may not feel valued.
Speaker 1 (15:14):
You know, it doesn't mean you're valued that someone buys
you a luxury piece, and you shouldn't be seeking that out.
And I've been there and I've done it. I've stood
in malls and hoped that a guy would buy me
something like a dog like your way. I remember going
with someone in Vegas and you're hoping they're going to
want to take you shopping.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
And they know. Now. Some of them like that. I
know men who really.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
Love gold Diggers because it's the transaction like meeting the
girls there. She's super hot, the guy's super rich. By
the third date, he's got her an Arimez bag, she's
flexing to our friends.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
They think it's great.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
A year and a half later, she's cheating on him,
you know, and then it's a fight and he may
want some of the stuff back.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
Or whatever it is. It's what goes on. It's what
goes on.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
I've seen it. I've been I've been there and wanted
someone to buy me some thing. You know, I've wanted
them to pay for it, and you know, it feels
really good. I can fucking buy myself flowers, shoes on
my feet, I bought them.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
I depend on me. So if you're a mom, because
a lot of you are a mom's, you talk to
those daughters
Host
Bethenny Frankel
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