August 14, 2024 • 9 mins
Don’t let the truth get in the way of a good comedy show
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
So I've been going through it a little bit.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
I have been in this place of Yes Adventure era,
and I do get ahead of my skis because I
am an insular person. I think because I'm so outspoken
and because I'm wacky, and because I can be like
a I love Lucy character, I think people confuse that
with me being very social. And I don't know if
(00:38):
I ever was social. And I've heard this thing with
certain people where they are truly an introvert that sort
of presents as an extrovert. And I don't know if
I'm an introvert. That's insane, but I'm insular. I'm a
person that's alone ninety five percent.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
Of the time.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
Like if I'm out with my daughter, I'm with my friends.
When I make when I make the plan and take
the initiative, and I do do things for work and
they're good for me because it means I'm getting out
and getting dressed, et cetera. But this is something that's
been going on since I was in my twenties. I
remember being in my studio apartment and having to drag
(01:17):
myself to get dressed and to go to a date
or to go out to a club or to go
out with friends, and I would make the plans because
I wanted to be active and social, and I would
make the plans and then when they came, I would
start to get massive anxiety and want to find ways
to cancel when the person was hedging up, like it's fine,
no problem, when we could do it another time. And
I'm that way to this day. I'm like waiting and
wanting someone to cancel and look for a reason we
(01:39):
don't have to do it. So it's just who I am.
And my mother was that way. And Kelly Rippa once
told me that it's genetic. And my friend Alex Cohen
said to me that there's this percentage of people that
I don't know if she said it was like ten
percent of people that like really really I forgot what
she said. She named it something or called it something,
(02:00):
but like that really really have that thing where they
just it's really hard to get out, like they're really.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
Just better at home. And I'm like that.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
So now when I enter my adventure era and I
intellectually decide I'm going to go out more and meet
people more in date, et cetera. That's what I've said
to myself. But the actuality of that is extremely activating
for me, and I get ahead of myself because I
think I can handle it now. Couple that with work
and in my work end in my personal life as
(02:30):
a result of being accessible. My number one problem in
business that I've been told by so many people and
by people and I'm in relationships with, is you're too accessible.
You're too accessible. You're just letting people like call and
email you directly and ask you things, and like you're
in messages and talking to people and you're on the street,
and like you're too accessible. And so I don't know
(02:51):
if I'm good at regulating myself because it gets too
far becomes an emotional emergency. But I do eventually regulate
myself and say this is too activating. Sometimes being on
social media is too activating. Sometimes being in social life
is too activating. Sometimes dating is too activating. Sometimes drinking
is too activating. So I've been out in the Hamptons
(03:11):
and I was I went to something for business. I
don't want to get into any kind of details, but
I went into to something for business, and I thought
it was going to be one thing, and it was
very much another thing, and I felt very exposed and
I was with a lot of people that I didn't know,
lovely people, but I felt very overwhelmed and I felt
(03:32):
the inclination to climb into a turtleshell. But I was
out in public and having to engage in having to interact,
and I felt like I was too accessible, and I
felt like I was like slightly I felt I'm not
saying this was happening. I felt like maybe I was
being used a little bit for other reasons, and I
just was feeling uncomfortable. And a couple of days in
(03:53):
the next week, there was another social event and it
was the John Mulaney comedy show, which had a hundred
I think it was. Eventually I found out it was
going to have two hundred and fifty people, and I
was excited because I was in my place of yes Era,
and I love stand up comedy, and I've never seen him,
and I'm not I don't know his work that well,
but I love stand up comedy and he's very successful.
(04:14):
And it was in the Hamptons, and it was going
to be probably an hour and change from my house,
and I was excited to go after this other experience
where I felt a little exposed and uncomfortable, and also
I'm you know, my mother didn't die that long ago,
and I've experienced a breakup. A lot of things are
going on, and sometimes you're a delay and it's never
about what it's about, and you're fragile and too accessible,
and you know you don't have to be a public
(04:35):
person to relate to, like getting ahead of yourself and
thinking you can handle things you can't or things that
don't matter becoming very important because you're sort of fragile
and sensitive.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
And so I.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
The day before the John Mulaney Show said to my
publicist and my team, to someone who works with me,
I talked to her about it. I'm like, I don't
think I should go. I don't think I should go.
I'm overwhelmed. I'm feeling overwhelmed. And I don't even know
why it was overwhelmed. I just felt like it's gonna
be a lot of people, and I just feel raw,
and I feel fragile, and I just don't.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
I don't.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
I don't think it's good for me, and it sounds nuts,
but some people understand, and we sent an email politely
declined I don't know where the disconnect was or what happened.
But the next day the media sent an email. Page
six sent an email saying like, Bethany skipped out on
this thing, and we're going to write a story. And
my pup was just sent them the original email and
(05:28):
they were going to kill the story. And Page six
is every right to write that. But if any of
you know anything about my personality, I'm never late, I'm accountable,
et cetera. I would never skip out on something. I
value someone else's time and someone else's experience. I also
have done.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
Stand up comedy and I have been going to it.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
For years, and it's a very difficult medium, and I
respect and honor the craft, and so I would never
want someone to well, I'll get to that point.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
So I.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
Have a lot of respect for stand up comedians. I've
said that ten thousand times on this podcast. I just
really honor and respect the craft. So it says I
skipped out. Page six said that, and I thought, okay, no,
(06:18):
let's just correct that, which we did, and then I
did an apology on social media because I heard that
there were two signs in the front row saying my name,
and I felt like, that's so horrible because he's performing
and then there were two signs in the front row.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
And then later.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
I read that there is an opening act and he
and John were both referencing back to the fact that
I wasn't there and like, oh, we're happy to see
everybody except for Bethany Frankel, Like I've been to these shows,
Like it's like a bit that keeps going and it's
landing and people are laughing and it's landing. And then
someone who was there, Claudia Ashre podcast or she has
(07:01):
a thing. Girl with No Job is her name, and
she was there too, and I guess she wasn't rude
about it, but on her podcast she talked about it.
So the irony of me wanting to not go because
I just didn't want to feel exposed and didn't want
to feel raw and activated was now so exacerbated. And
then I spoke to my girlfriend today and she was
(07:22):
just like, my husband was there and there was a table,
not two chairs. She said, there was a table VIP
table dead center right in the front with your name
on it, and they kept referencing back to it and
the audience was cheering and everything, and she was like,
and I said to myself, that's not like Bethany at all.
She would never ever just skip out on something. So
even though I apologized, I feel like it didn't like.
(07:44):
I still felt like my community sometimes your community is
more important to you than like more people, meaning it
could be millions of people that know that I didn't
that I didn't go, or whatever the story is, but
like feeling like in my own home people think that
I that, and it's so stupid. It doesn't matter. I know,
it doesn't matter. I just felt really like bad, and
(08:05):
I just felt really sad. I was crying and I
just was like, I need to take a minute. Something
is off with me. I'm just not myself. And I said,
you know, took a social media break, like decided I
just did. I took a social media break. I was
just feeling very vulnerable and very fragile. And I think
we get too hooked in. And you know, while I
(08:27):
was listening to Harry and Megan talk about the dangers
of social media for the younger generation, I don't think
that's a total blanket statement. I think in some ways
my daughter has learned how to cook on social media
and do different hairstyles, and she gets to express herself
and people dance during the pandemic, and people were able
to share their cooking and different things. So I think
(08:48):
that social media cannot, as a blanket statement, be bad.
But for me, I am very accessible. That's one of
the areas that I'm most accessible. And I decided to
take a little breather. I just I need a little breath.
I just I got in, got a little overwhelmed and uncomfortable,
and yeah, I guess my place of yes era might
(09:12):
be might be coming to a screeching halt. I just
don't think I can be as accessible as I've been,
and I don't think I can do it all and
say yes to it all as I thought that I could.
But that's been always my plight, being too open to accessible.
So that was what happened to get me into this
place where I've been a little off.
Speaker 1 (09:33):
So that's my story.
So I've been going through it a little bit.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
I have been in this place of Yes Adventure era,
and I do get ahead of my skis because I
am an insular person. I think because I'm so outspoken
and because I'm wacky, and because I can be like
a I love Lucy character, I think people confuse that
with me being very social. And I don't know if
(00:38):
I ever was social. And I've heard this thing with
certain people where they are truly an introvert that sort
of presents as an extrovert. And I don't know if
I'm an introvert. That's insane, but I'm insular. I'm a
person that's alone ninety five percent.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
Of the time.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
Like if I'm out with my daughter, I'm with my friends.
When I make when I make the plan and take
the initiative, and I do do things for work and
they're good for me because it means I'm getting out
and getting dressed, et cetera. But this is something that's
been going on since I was in my twenties. I
remember being in my studio apartment and having to drag
(01:17):
myself to get dressed and to go to a date
or to go out to a club or to go
out with friends, and I would make the plans because
I wanted to be active and social, and I would
make the plans and then when they came, I would
start to get massive anxiety and want to find ways
to cancel when the person was hedging up, like it's fine,
no problem, when we could do it another time. And
I'm that way to this day. I'm like waiting and
wanting someone to cancel and look for a reason we
(01:39):
don't have to do it. So it's just who I am.
And my mother was that way. And Kelly Rippa once
told me that it's genetic. And my friend Alex Cohen
said to me that there's this percentage of people that
I don't know if she said it was like ten
percent of people that like really really I forgot what
she said. She named it something or called it something,
(02:00):
but like that really really have that thing where they
just it's really hard to get out, like they're really.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
Just better at home. And I'm like that.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
So now when I enter my adventure era and I
intellectually decide I'm going to go out more and meet
people more in date, et cetera. That's what I've said
to myself. But the actuality of that is extremely activating
for me, and I get ahead of myself because I
think I can handle it now. Couple that with work
and in my work end in my personal life as
(02:30):
a result of being accessible. My number one problem in
business that I've been told by so many people and
by people and I'm in relationships with, is you're too accessible.
You're too accessible. You're just letting people like call and
email you directly and ask you things, and like you're
in messages and talking to people and you're on the street,
and like you're too accessible. And so I don't know
(02:51):
if I'm good at regulating myself because it gets too
far becomes an emotional emergency. But I do eventually regulate
myself and say this is too activating. Sometimes being on
social media is too activating. Sometimes being in social life
is too activating. Sometimes dating is too activating. Sometimes drinking
is too activating. So I've been out in the Hamptons
(03:11):
and I was I went to something for business. I
don't want to get into any kind of details, but
I went into to something for business, and I thought
it was going to be one thing, and it was
very much another thing, and I felt very exposed and
I was with a lot of people that I didn't know,
lovely people, but I felt very overwhelmed and I felt
(03:32):
the inclination to climb into a turtleshell. But I was
out in public and having to engage in having to interact,
and I felt like I was too accessible, and I
felt like I was like slightly I felt I'm not
saying this was happening. I felt like maybe I was
being used a little bit for other reasons, and I
just was feeling uncomfortable. And a couple of days in
(03:53):
the next week, there was another social event and it
was the John Mulaney comedy show, which had a hundred
I think it was. Eventually I found out it was
going to have two hundred and fifty people, and I
was excited because I was in my place of yes Era,
and I love stand up comedy, and I've never seen him,
and I'm not I don't know his work that well,
but I love stand up comedy and he's very successful.
(04:14):
And it was in the Hamptons, and it was going
to be probably an hour and change from my house,
and I was excited to go after this other experience
where I felt a little exposed and uncomfortable, and also
I'm you know, my mother didn't die that long ago,
and I've experienced a breakup. A lot of things are
going on, and sometimes you're a delay and it's never
about what it's about, and you're fragile and too accessible,
and you know you don't have to be a public
(04:35):
person to relate to, like getting ahead of yourself and
thinking you can handle things you can't or things that
don't matter becoming very important because you're sort of fragile
and sensitive.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
And so I.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
The day before the John Mulaney Show said to my
publicist and my team, to someone who works with me,
I talked to her about it. I'm like, I don't
think I should go. I don't think I should go.
I'm overwhelmed. I'm feeling overwhelmed. And I don't even know
why it was overwhelmed. I just felt like it's gonna
be a lot of people, and I just feel raw,
and I feel fragile, and I just don't.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
I don't.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
I don't think it's good for me, and it sounds nuts,
but some people understand, and we sent an email politely
declined I don't know where the disconnect was or what happened.
But the next day the media sent an email. Page
six sent an email saying like, Bethany skipped out on
this thing, and we're going to write a story. And
my pup was just sent them the original email and
(05:28):
they were going to kill the story. And Page six
is every right to write that. But if any of
you know anything about my personality, I'm never late, I'm accountable,
et cetera. I would never skip out on something. I
value someone else's time and someone else's experience. I also
have done.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
Stand up comedy and I have been going to it.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
For years, and it's a very difficult medium, and I
respect and honor the craft, and so I would never
want someone to well, I'll get to that point.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
So I.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
Have a lot of respect for stand up comedians. I've
said that ten thousand times on this podcast. I just
really honor and respect the craft. So it says I
skipped out. Page six said that, and I thought, okay, no,
(06:18):
let's just correct that, which we did, and then I
did an apology on social media because I heard that
there were two signs in the front row saying my name,
and I felt like, that's so horrible because he's performing
and then there were two signs in the front row.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
And then later.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
I read that there is an opening act and he
and John were both referencing back to the fact that
I wasn't there and like, oh, we're happy to see
everybody except for Bethany Frankel, Like I've been to these shows,
Like it's like a bit that keeps going and it's
landing and people are laughing and it's landing. And then
someone who was there, Claudia Ashre podcast or she has
(07:01):
a thing. Girl with No Job is her name, and
she was there too, and I guess she wasn't rude
about it, but on her podcast she talked about it.
So the irony of me wanting to not go because
I just didn't want to feel exposed and didn't want
to feel raw and activated was now so exacerbated. And
then I spoke to my girlfriend today and she was
(07:22):
just like, my husband was there and there was a table,
not two chairs. She said, there was a table VIP
table dead center right in the front with your name
on it, and they kept referencing back to it and
the audience was cheering and everything, and she was like,
and I said to myself, that's not like Bethany at all.
She would never ever just skip out on something. So
even though I apologized, I feel like it didn't like.
(07:44):
I still felt like my community sometimes your community is
more important to you than like more people, meaning it
could be millions of people that know that I didn't
that I didn't go, or whatever the story is, but
like feeling like in my own home people think that
I that, and it's so stupid. It doesn't matter. I know,
it doesn't matter. I just felt really like bad, and
(08:05):
I just felt really sad. I was crying and I
just was like, I need to take a minute. Something
is off with me. I'm just not myself. And I said,
you know, took a social media break, like decided I
just did. I took a social media break. I was
just feeling very vulnerable and very fragile. And I think
we get too hooked in. And you know, while I
(08:27):
was listening to Harry and Megan talk about the dangers
of social media for the younger generation, I don't think
that's a total blanket statement. I think in some ways
my daughter has learned how to cook on social media
and do different hairstyles, and she gets to express herself
and people dance during the pandemic, and people were able
to share their cooking and different things. So I think
(08:48):
that social media cannot, as a blanket statement, be bad.
But for me, I am very accessible. That's one of
the areas that I'm most accessible. And I decided to
take a little breather. I just I need a little breath.
I just I got in, got a little overwhelmed and uncomfortable,
and yeah, I guess my place of yes era might
(09:12):
be might be coming to a screeching halt. I just
don't think I can be as accessible as I've been,
and I don't think I can do it all and
say yes to it all as I thought that I could.
But that's been always my plight, being too open to accessible.
So that was what happened to get me into this
place where I've been a little off.
Speaker 1 (09:33):
So that's my story.
Host
Bethenny Frankel
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