October 23, 2024 • 12 mins
Haters are actually your biggest fans. Who's thinking about you more than a hater?! If they're watching, give them a show worth seeing.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
People on social media really have an obsession with digging
if people came from money, like celebrities, like it could
be like oh, Blake Lively, but she came from money
or NEPO baby or things like that, like that is
literally something someone can't control. People want to punish people
for having come from money. I understand punishing someone for
having come from money if they are utilizing that or
(00:34):
cost playing, you know, being super poor or things like
that. That could that I would imagine is irritated. But I
don't know why people feel like they have to criticize
people because they came from money, like it almost makes
people mad, and it almost and it does make people mad.
I've seen on social media there are these influencers that
have now been able to afford expensive cars and houses
(00:56):
in the Hamptons, and there's so much jealousy on social
media that other influencers are annoyed. It's it's a due.
It's looking in the mirror, like why not me? Why
have I been on this same social media platform and
I can't buy myself a house in the Hampton's and
a car. And they'll just like a bully and abuse
these people for just making money and being successful, as
(01:18):
if it's not like any other space in capitalism, you know,
it's like it's a different thing. People do want to
keep you where you were. People at work want you
to be in the same position, like you're gets shot
and freud like I'm only happy if you're down there,
you know, like it's wild. Most people really aren't happy
for other people. And you got to stay away from
(01:40):
anyone with any tinge of that sort of negativity, because
you know, you hear the comments, you hear the energy,
you get, the vibe. You got to steer very, very
clear of that. It's extremely common people want to keep
you exactly where you are. Sometimes parents too. Sometimes people
want to keep you exactly where you are from the
way you look. Someone on social media commented on my
(02:00):
physical appearance literally was twenty years ago and comparing it now,
they want that Bethany, and my jaw was completely different
because I hadn't found botox in the jaw. My jaw
was much bigger. But like people commenting on someone else's
physical appearance like being mad that I look better, like
I literally look better, and they're annoyed, and you could
tell and again that's a hater. And I like that.
(02:21):
I like, literally know that you are acting really like
jealous and bitter and it's annoying you that I look good.
Where's the old bethany Where? It doesn't fucking matter because
this is the new bethany bitch Like, You're so annoyed,
and I love it because the more you get annoyed,
the more I know it's working the better. The more
you get annoyed, the better I know. I look, I'm
(02:43):
bothering you. Keep it coming. People want people to stay.
They get mad ozembic, you're doing ozempic. I gotta catch you.
I gotta be mad at you. But it's just because
you're lying. And I understand the lying part, and I
understand the leading people to believe it it's about eating
healthy and working out, because then it's not presenting an
accurate message. But I think it goes deeper. I think
(03:03):
people are just mad that other people are allowed to
like now look good. They don't like it. There's this
woman on social media that just like curses into the phone,
being like, I'll do whatever the fuck I want. If
I want to get plastic surgery, if I want to
look better, Why can't I look better? Why? Why are
you fucking telling me that I'm supposed to not get it,
and who cares at my age, I'll do whatever I want.
(03:25):
I'll do what I want, to wear what I want.
I'll get done what I want. None of your fucking business.
I'll look how I want. That's back to that walk
in Paris. People are so mad. Bethanye's not a too
she Why did you want? Why did I walk like that?
Because I fucking wanted to, because it was iconic, because
you're talking about it because it landed, because I win,
because I win because I did that giraffe walk, and Laurie,
(03:48):
I'll just invite me to something in la I don't
see them inviting you. Why because their campaign was worth it.
You're worth it? About what you think your self worth?
My self worth is I'm a fucking giraffe and you're
still talking about it. The media is still talking about it,
that you really you really made a statement. Yes I did,
(04:09):
We're still talking about it. We can talk about it
for the rest of my life. I'm gonna literally tattoo
myself in a giraffe pattern because I fucking win, because
I did it the way I want it, and it's
driving you crazy. And that maybe something I should talk
about it in therapy. But it makes me happy, so
that may maybe I have problems. But if I got issues,
(04:32):
that's okay. And you know I will say this to
you guys. You have to really have said this before,
but I have to say it again. Haters must be motivators.
(04:54):
Haters stay much longer. Haters are more invested. Haters are
listening more closely. Haters are addicted. Haters and trolls can't
walk or look away. It's like they need the drug.
Haters are better for business. You have to have a
strong constitution. But when I tell you, if they're taking
(05:14):
the time to hate, debate, argue, you're striking a nerve.
Nothing's worse than dispassionate, don't care. You ever liked somebody
and they're just fine back. They don't hate you, they
don't love you, they don't give a shit. What is
worse than that? You want to take a cattle prod
(05:35):
and burn them to like make them have a reaction.
That's what people are looking for in life. They're looking
for proof of life, some version of a reaction. So
when you're in your community or you're part of the
gossip circle or people are hating, like you have to
be strong, but you have to even teach your kids
as it's impossible. Like they're talking about you, they're worried
(05:57):
about you, they're thinking about you, they're concerned about you.
Must have said something to provoke them. Now if it's
hate speech or you said something terrible or you know,
racist or something, then that's a completely different story. That's
like they're they're infuriated. But I'm talking about like just
guard and variety, you having a different opinion than other people,
or them just wanting to hate let them. But we
(06:19):
don't take the bait. We don't take the bait. You
don't go in someone comments on something and you take
the bait. You don't do it when someone's talking about
you're in your neighborhood, you are aloof You don't know,
you don't care. Said this to my daughter about something
something happened, is bothering her? I go, you don't even
notice it. People pray on weakness, honey, People pray on weakness.
You don't go being a pick me. You don't go
(06:41):
being thirsty. You don't go subtly begging for someone's attention.
You don't need to be invited. You don't even know
there is a party. You don't even know there is
something going on. You don't know this. You are just you,
rise above. You live your own life, because being happy
is contagious, and being happy drives people crazy or makes
them want to be near it. Either way, you win.
(07:04):
I said to her the thing that one of the
matchmakers on the podcast said, the rotten apple will rot
the right apple. The ripe apple will not ripen the
rotten apple. So if you're the right apple, stay the
fuck away from the rotten apple in every scenario. I
don't care if it's your own family. I had a
situation where someone that I as a child was in
(07:27):
my life reaching out. You know when someone reaches out
and it's constant guilt trip everything they did for you,
They believe they did everything for you, and like just
just badgering you, and I exploded. I exploded. It was
my entire life crystallized in one explosion where I basically
said I was raised by fucking animals. Everyone, all the people,
(07:48):
all the people I was supposed to trust that were
as parents, as parental figures, as a father, a stepfather,
a mother, All the people had me around drugs and
eating disorders and physical abuse and substance abuse, and being
at nightclubs when I was thirteen, and taking the train
by myself into New York City when I was thirteen,
and teaching me how to get into the nightclub and
(08:10):
being around walking in on people having sex and then
watching them get the ship beat out of them ten
minutes later, like people going to the hospital, arrests, molestation,
sexual abuse, all of it, and what happens if you're
in a dysfunctional family or you have a dysfunctional childhood.
Those people want to be the kings and queens of
the dipshits. They want to tell you how they were
(08:31):
better than the others. Well, at least I wasn't your
father beating the shit out of me with a phone.
It's like, right, you were the one who gave me
the keys to go to the car to go to
the night club. Like, it's literally fifty shades of shit.
And someone from my past was trying to like guilt
trip me. Well, you did go to a private school,
(08:51):
I did take you away to Europe. I'm like right,
But also a couple of your friends molested me, So
I feel like it's still not I don't. I feel
like going to the South of France makes up for
your business partner trying to fuck me. So I recently
and I was talking to my therapists about this morning,
about this this morning, unleashed and just mentioned it all.
(09:16):
I've never once set out loud how many things were
wrong and that it's unacceptable, and that it's affected my
relationships now as an adult, and that I don't want
my daughter near any of this, So that I've disconnected
many relationships that you could feel guilty about, like what
if someone's gonna die, someone gets sick and die of
you can feel guilty. I have to say, you have
(09:38):
to choose your mental and emotional sanity and your kids
and your people around you. Like I could feel guilt
about fleeting moments in my childhood that were good and
not wanting to leave someone alone who's older. But I
could also say I got out, I broke the chain,
(09:59):
I created a lo life for my child, and I
don't want to go back ever. So blood is not
necessarily thicker than water because my blood well this wasn't
actually a blood relative, but it's to me, it's not.
I don't care how connected by blood I am to someone.
I'm not being around anything dysfunctional ever. I'm never allowing
(10:21):
it for my daughter and the criminally insane house that
I grew up in, as one of my childhood friends
described it when my mother passed away, I'm never going
fucking back there. I don't want to talk to anyone
from it. I don't want to be part of it.
I left. So don't let your mind play tricks on you.
All that's toxic, and anything that smells like that at all,
(10:44):
you stay away from. I don't give a shit who
someone's related to, but they're your family. I don't necessarily
always know what that means when it pertains to dysfunction
and abuse. So have the power to know what's good
for you. You don't do heroin because you know it's
bad for you. You don't if you have diabetes. You're
(11:04):
not mainlining sugar if you know it'll kill you. So
if you're emotionally well and you've gotten out of a
toxic situation, you don't go near that at all. That's
a drug that's that's not that's bad for you, And
I don't care in what form it takes, whether it's
family or not. Family, friends, old friends, childhood friends, obligations.
You be as selfish as possible in those situations. And
(11:28):
in those situations, here's the thing. If someone is pulling
you down at work or in your relationship, or in
your friendships, or in your life or on your sports team,
like I know, we're only as good as our weakest link,
and you have we have to do that. But if
someone is hanging onto you and it's pulling you down,
you're both gonna drown. So you're gonna have to let
(11:52):
go so you don't drown with them. To walk back
to the back to the after, walk back to the aster,
People on social media really have an obsession with digging
if people came from money, like celebrities, like it could
be like oh, Blake Lively, but she came from money
or NEPO baby or things like that, like that is
literally something someone can't control. People want to punish people
for having come from money. I understand punishing someone for
having come from money if they are utilizing that or
(00:34):
cost playing, you know, being super poor or things like
that. That could that I would imagine is irritated. But I
don't know why people feel like they have to criticize
people because they came from money, like it almost makes
people mad, and it almost and it does make people mad.
I've seen on social media there are these influencers that
have now been able to afford expensive cars and houses
(00:56):
in the Hamptons, and there's so much jealousy on social
media that other influencers are annoyed. It's it's a due.
It's looking in the mirror, like why not me? Why
have I been on this same social media platform and
I can't buy myself a house in the Hampton's and
a car. And they'll just like a bully and abuse
these people for just making money and being successful, as
(01:18):
if it's not like any other space in capitalism, you know,
it's like it's a different thing. People do want to
keep you where you were. People at work want you
to be in the same position, like you're gets shot
and freud like I'm only happy if you're down there,
you know, like it's wild. Most people really aren't happy
for other people. And you got to stay away from
(01:40):
anyone with any tinge of that sort of negativity, because
you know, you hear the comments, you hear the energy,
you get, the vibe. You got to steer very, very
clear of that. It's extremely common people want to keep
you exactly where you are. Sometimes parents too. Sometimes people
want to keep you exactly where you are from the
way you look. Someone on social media commented on my
(02:00):
physical appearance literally was twenty years ago and comparing it now,
they want that Bethany, and my jaw was completely different
because I hadn't found botox in the jaw. My jaw
was much bigger. But like people commenting on someone else's
physical appearance like being mad that I look better, like
I literally look better, and they're annoyed, and you could
tell and again that's a hater. And I like that.
(02:21):
I like, literally know that you are acting really like
jealous and bitter and it's annoying you that I look good.
Where's the old bethany Where? It doesn't fucking matter because
this is the new bethany bitch Like, You're so annoyed,
and I love it because the more you get annoyed,
the more I know it's working the better. The more
you get annoyed, the better I know. I look, I'm
(02:43):
bothering you. Keep it coming. People want people to stay.
They get mad ozembic, you're doing ozempic. I gotta catch you.
I gotta be mad at you. But it's just because
you're lying. And I understand the lying part, and I
understand the leading people to believe it it's about eating
healthy and working out, because then it's not presenting an
accurate message. But I think it goes deeper. I think
(03:03):
people are just mad that other people are allowed to
like now look good. They don't like it. There's this
woman on social media that just like curses into the phone,
being like, I'll do whatever the fuck I want. If
I want to get plastic surgery, if I want to
look better, Why can't I look better? Why? Why are
you fucking telling me that I'm supposed to not get it,
and who cares at my age, I'll do whatever I want.
(03:25):
I'll do what I want, to wear what I want.
I'll get done what I want. None of your fucking business.
I'll look how I want. That's back to that walk
in Paris. People are so mad. Bethanye's not a too
she Why did you want? Why did I walk like that?
Because I fucking wanted to, because it was iconic, because
you're talking about it because it landed, because I win,
because I win because I did that giraffe walk, and Laurie,
(03:48):
I'll just invite me to something in la I don't
see them inviting you. Why because their campaign was worth it.
You're worth it? About what you think your self worth?
My self worth is I'm a fucking giraffe and you're
still talking about it. The media is still talking about it,
that you really you really made a statement. Yes I did,
(04:09):
We're still talking about it. We can talk about it
for the rest of my life. I'm gonna literally tattoo
myself in a giraffe pattern because I fucking win, because
I did it the way I want it, and it's
driving you crazy. And that maybe something I should talk
about it in therapy. But it makes me happy, so
that may maybe I have problems. But if I got issues,
(04:32):
that's okay. And you know I will say this to
you guys. You have to really have said this before,
but I have to say it again. Haters must be motivators.
(04:54):
Haters stay much longer. Haters are more invested. Haters are
listening more closely. Haters are addicted. Haters and trolls can't
walk or look away. It's like they need the drug.
Haters are better for business. You have to have a
strong constitution. But when I tell you, if they're taking
(05:14):
the time to hate, debate, argue, you're striking a nerve.
Nothing's worse than dispassionate, don't care. You ever liked somebody
and they're just fine back. They don't hate you, they
don't love you, they don't give a shit. What is
worse than that? You want to take a cattle prod
(05:35):
and burn them to like make them have a reaction.
That's what people are looking for in life. They're looking
for proof of life, some version of a reaction. So
when you're in your community or you're part of the
gossip circle or people are hating, like you have to
be strong, but you have to even teach your kids
as it's impossible. Like they're talking about you, they're worried
(05:57):
about you, they're thinking about you, they're concerned about you.
Must have said something to provoke them. Now if it's
hate speech or you said something terrible or you know,
racist or something, then that's a completely different story. That's
like they're they're infuriated. But I'm talking about like just
guard and variety, you having a different opinion than other people,
or them just wanting to hate let them. But we
(06:19):
don't take the bait. We don't take the bait. You
don't go in someone comments on something and you take
the bait. You don't do it when someone's talking about
you're in your neighborhood, you are aloof You don't know,
you don't care. Said this to my daughter about something
something happened, is bothering her? I go, you don't even
notice it. People pray on weakness, honey, People pray on weakness.
You don't go being a pick me. You don't go
(06:41):
being thirsty. You don't go subtly begging for someone's attention.
You don't need to be invited. You don't even know
there is a party. You don't even know there is
something going on. You don't know this. You are just you,
rise above. You live your own life, because being happy
is contagious, and being happy drives people crazy or makes
them want to be near it. Either way, you win.
(07:04):
I said to her the thing that one of the
matchmakers on the podcast said, the rotten apple will rot
the right apple. The ripe apple will not ripen the
rotten apple. So if you're the right apple, stay the
fuck away from the rotten apple in every scenario. I
don't care if it's your own family. I had a
situation where someone that I as a child was in
(07:27):
my life reaching out. You know when someone reaches out
and it's constant guilt trip everything they did for you,
They believe they did everything for you, and like just
just badgering you, and I exploded. I exploded. It was
my entire life crystallized in one explosion where I basically
said I was raised by fucking animals. Everyone, all the people,
(07:48):
all the people I was supposed to trust that were
as parents, as parental figures, as a father, a stepfather,
a mother, All the people had me around drugs and
eating disorders and physical abuse and substance abuse, and being
at nightclubs when I was thirteen, and taking the train
by myself into New York City when I was thirteen,
and teaching me how to get into the nightclub and
(08:10):
being around walking in on people having sex and then
watching them get the ship beat out of them ten
minutes later, like people going to the hospital, arrests, molestation,
sexual abuse, all of it, and what happens if you're
in a dysfunctional family or you have a dysfunctional childhood.
Those people want to be the kings and queens of
the dipshits. They want to tell you how they were
(08:31):
better than the others. Well, at least I wasn't your
father beating the shit out of me with a phone.
It's like, right, you were the one who gave me
the keys to go to the car to go to
the night club. Like, it's literally fifty shades of shit.
And someone from my past was trying to like guilt
trip me. Well, you did go to a private school,
(08:51):
I did take you away to Europe. I'm like right,
But also a couple of your friends molested me, So
I feel like it's still not I don't. I feel
like going to the South of France makes up for
your business partner trying to fuck me. So I recently
and I was talking to my therapists about this morning,
about this this morning, unleashed and just mentioned it all.
(09:16):
I've never once set out loud how many things were
wrong and that it's unacceptable, and that it's affected my
relationships now as an adult, and that I don't want
my daughter near any of this, So that I've disconnected
many relationships that you could feel guilty about, like what
if someone's gonna die, someone gets sick and die of
you can feel guilty. I have to say, you have
(09:38):
to choose your mental and emotional sanity and your kids
and your people around you. Like I could feel guilt
about fleeting moments in my childhood that were good and
not wanting to leave someone alone who's older. But I
could also say I got out, I broke the chain,
(09:59):
I created a lo life for my child, and I
don't want to go back ever. So blood is not
necessarily thicker than water because my blood well this wasn't
actually a blood relative, but it's to me, it's not.
I don't care how connected by blood I am to someone.
I'm not being around anything dysfunctional ever. I'm never allowing
(10:21):
it for my daughter and the criminally insane house that
I grew up in, as one of my childhood friends
described it when my mother passed away, I'm never going
fucking back there. I don't want to talk to anyone
from it. I don't want to be part of it.
I left. So don't let your mind play tricks on you.
All that's toxic, and anything that smells like that at all,
(10:44):
you stay away from. I don't give a shit who
someone's related to, but they're your family. I don't necessarily
always know what that means when it pertains to dysfunction
and abuse. So have the power to know what's good
for you. You don't do heroin because you know it's
bad for you. You don't if you have diabetes. You're
(11:04):
not mainlining sugar if you know it'll kill you. So
if you're emotionally well and you've gotten out of a
toxic situation, you don't go near that at all. That's
a drug that's that's not that's bad for you, And
I don't care in what form it takes, whether it's
family or not. Family, friends, old friends, childhood friends, obligations.
You be as selfish as possible in those situations. And
(11:28):
in those situations, here's the thing. If someone is pulling
you down at work or in your relationship, or in
your friendships, or in your life or on your sports team,
like I know, we're only as good as our weakest link,
and you have we have to do that. But if
someone is hanging onto you and it's pulling you down,
you're both gonna drown. So you're gonna have to let
(11:52):
go so you don't drown with them. To walk back
to the back to the after, walk back to the aster,
Host
Bethenny Frankel
Popular Podcasts
The Breakfast Club
The World's Most Dangerous Morning Show, The Breakfast Club, With DJ Envy And Charlamagne Tha God!
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Decisions, Decisions
Welcome to "Decisions, Decisions," the podcast where boundaries are pushed, and conversations get candid! Join your favorite hosts, Mandii B and WeezyWTF, as they dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often-taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love. Every Monday, Mandii and Weezy invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. With a blend of humor, vulnerability, and authenticity, they share their personal journeys navigating their 30s, tackling the complexities of modern relationships, and engaging in thought-provoking discussions that challenge societal expectations. From groundbreaking interviews with diverse guests to relatable stories that resonate with your experiences, "Decisions, Decisions" is your go-to source for open dialogue about what it truly means to love and connect in today's world. Get ready to reshape your understanding of relationships and embrace the freedom of authentic connections—tune in and join the conversation!