Just B Rant: Miami: You Take the Good with the Douche Bros

It's all smoke and mirrors, but damn is it fun. PLUS: It Ends with Toxic Positivity. Also, if we break up? You better stay away from my favorite spots.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:12):
Miami. I've been spending time in Miami, and I love Miami.
It is so on fire. It is so action. There
is so much culture there, money there, music, fashion, some entertainment, nightlife, restaurants.
Like my real estate, it's on fuego. That being said,

(00:33):
Miami is the land of the douche bro Like it's
the land of the shirtless guy who's semi retired, just investing,
sold something, is living in either a rental or a
two bedroom purchased department, has a flashy car, is talking

(00:54):
about bitcoin, has some startup. Everybody there freaks me out,
like I like a solid nerd in dating, in financial, investing,
in hedge fund in anything, and like everyone there freaks
me out, like they look good, they're shiny, and then
you get closer and it's like this sort of smoking

(01:15):
mirrors wants to like bang young women and look for
gold diggers. And it's a scary place in ways. I
love having a place there, but it's fast and loose
and everybody's got an angle and a deal and wow,
I just cowered because I was like, WHOA. Everyone's wearing

(01:37):
like men's jewelry and like cheesy almost acid washy jeans
and just the fashion is questionable. It was, It's just
very interesting. There's a lot there are a lot of
retired douche bros in Miami that like you, definitely it
looks like smoking mirrors. So there's of course a new term.

(02:02):
I think it came in like some Usweekly article designed
to be negative about Justin Baldoni that there was a
lot of toxic positivity lol on the set of it
ends with us and I don't care about it ends
with us right now, but toxic positivity. And I was
reading in the comments and they were saying, yeah, when
like you're not allowed to have feelings because people are

(02:26):
being so like positive and smiling and washing everything over
and like whistle while you work, and like, while that's
a ridiculous article, and while it's a hilarious headline, I
don't like saccherin Foe bullshit positivity. I really don't like.
I don't know about the word toxic. That's extreme. Maybe

(02:48):
it is in the way that they mean it. I don't.
It took me ten years to understand what gaslighting means,
and I just had to tell my friend when it means.
And I still think I know, but may not fully know.
I won't know what toxic positivity means for a long time,
but I know that it has brought me to think
about people that when you say, hey, could you do
the whatever? Good morning, like passag. Toxic positivity to me

(03:14):
like as a cousin of passag in my definition, like
shoving up your ass good mornings when you don't want them,
or like, hey, how are you thank god son came
up today like it's giving severance and like zombie apocalypse.
You know, I don't like faux positivity. I'd rather have

(03:37):
I wouldn't rather have negativity. I'd rather have nothing than
faux positivity. And the same person that worked with me
or for me that would jam a good morning up
my ass if I didn't say good morning or good
afternoon or hi, how are you? Oh hi Bethany like
fuck off? Okay, I don't like that. I don't like

(03:57):
someone jamming pleasantries down my throat. I really don't. The
same person was a whistle while you work and a
humble you work like like I don't like. I don't
like humming and whistling while you work. I don't like it.
Please don't impose your musical desires on me during the workday.
I really just don't. It's tedious. It's like nails on

(04:18):
a chalkboard and a dripping faucet, and it's repetitive. And
I don't like repetitive sounds. I don't like edm electric
douche doh do because it's like repetitive sounds that are
like an audible assault. So the same person that would
be like, well, good morning, well yeah, sonny, all shut
the fuck up. Like I literally, it makes me hostile.
So I think that I could go crazy over toxic positivity.

(04:41):
I think that I could. It's a distant cousin to
zooming and constant zoom like pleasantries twelve people. Hey, hi, no,
yeah it's been super rainy. Hi what no? Yeah wow
my daughter just got her teeth. But no one fucking cares.
No one cares. I don't know your daughter, I don't
know you. I hate zoom. I don't zoom. I zoom
once a year. I have to zoom this Monday with somebody,

(05:02):
and I'm like tortured. I told them a bunch of
times I'm not a zoomer. Well thanks for doing it,
fitting it in for us people that don't have any
like I am the busiest woman I know. I have
time like people that don't have time until except for
like two months from Thursday to do a fucking zoom
and then comes to zoom invite and the calendar invite
and all those words and scroll on my calendar page.

(05:23):
I don't even understand it. I don't even know. Did
they like go to MIT and I how to input that?
I don't know. It's all zoom adjacent activities too, don't.
I don't like any of it. It's giving like faux corporate. Hey, Dan,
had it go well? I was golfing not as fun like,
not as funny as your weekend because like they saw
it and so shut the fuck up. We don't know

(05:44):
each other. So I could get down with toxic positivity
being fucking irritating and get up in a clock tower
and and go crazy maddening. Some days you don't have it.
Every day is not a how are you doing? How
is your weekend? How was it? Wow? Your nails look pretty?

(06:07):
Have that? Like? Every day is not fucking pleasant? Fille
sunshine day? What? Who hurt her? Who hurt her? Let
me fucking write the list. If you break up with

(06:33):
someone and they didn't come into the relationship with certain places.
Stay the funk away from my place is okay. Let
me give you an example. I'm an Aspen person. I
was with someone who was like a veil or like
a Utah person for skiing. We break up, they run

(06:55):
to Aspen. Are you out of your fucking mind? Stay
me for my place. The world is big enough. You
don't see me running to your places. Stay away from
my places, like Miami, it's my place. Don't start being
a Miami person anymore than I'm gonna start being a fort.
I know a person, a West Pond person, a Jupiter person,
a Pond beach like this is my place. With that,

(07:16):
I can I can decide to be a pom Beach
person for a new person, but I can't like you
unilaterally on my own. Just decide I'm gonna be a
West pom Beach person if the person I've just been
with is a West pom Beach person, Like, that's sociopath behavior.
Like uh uh, I gotta stay in my own fucking lane.

(07:37):
I could have different reasons, but like, like I could
go there if there's like a work trip. I'm not
gonna not go because of that. But maybe even like
you don't. You should stay away from other people's places.
If someone goes to the vineyard and you're you're you're
together with them, you break up and you were not
a vineyard person going in. Absolutely not. That should be
in a prenup. It's like your assets going in. I

(08:00):
take Aspen. You can have Martha's vineyard. It's like a
custody thing. People say, like what you had before is
what you're walking out of the relationship with, right, Well,
that includes places, and that includes contacts you know, Like, no,
you started going to that doctor because of me. No,
that's not no more, that's not your doctor anymore. That

(08:21):
there are no none of this. You leave all this
shit behind. That's not that's not where you go to
get your hair done, get your hair cut. No, that
was my place going in. I'm not giving up that place.
So these are my places, don't you fuck with me. Restaurants, No,
that was my restaurant. I suggested we go there. It
was a place that I go. I know the people there.
You're not fucking going there find new restaurants. You had

(08:42):
your own restaurants coming in and I'm not going there
Like someone I dated asked me for my business manager
after are you a sociopath? My lawyer, my financial advisor? No,
I'd love you so much, but we broke up, so
you're on your fucking own. Her own business manager. Gabby

(09:06):
Wendy is on Traitor. She came on this podcast and
we should play some of it back to see if
anything like is relatable to now. I didn't feel I
don't remember her voice being so voicy when she was
on this podcast. We have to roll some of the tape.
I don't remember her being so like that. I don't
remember it a little, but I don't remember being that deep.

(09:26):
But I do think she should play Jennifer Coolidge's daughter
in a project. It's It's It's giving Jennifer Coolidge like.
She says the wackiest, funniest things, and people do love
the way that she is unapologetically and authentically her and
leaning into who she is and leaning into the crazy.

(09:47):
Julia Fox has a little of that. Julia Fox is
a similar brand to Gabby Windy. They don't dress the same,
they don't have the same sexual preferences that I know of,
but they vibe in a very like unapology jedic, alternative, feminine,
like wacky beats to their own drum program, and I

(10:09):
like it, Like, can you imagine Jennifer Coolidge, Julia Fox,
and Gabby Wendy in a conversation, Yeah, Josh Josh Saftie's
muse like the way they Yeah, I did it myself.
That's Julia Fox and Gabby's Like, I don't you know

(10:31):
they all Jennifer Coolidge, we all know, Like the three
of them have like very unique, feminine, wacky, like interesting
voices and choices of phrases, and I just feel that
three of them should be together doing something to want

(11:03):
to back to the hosp