Just B Unfluenced: Melissa Wood-Tepperberg

Bethenny and Melissa bond over many similarities as they unpack Melissa’s journey from waitress, to model, to wife, to entrepreneur, to mom! Bethenny reveals how she crossed paths with Melissa’s husband in the past as the ladies make plans for the Summer!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:12):
Everybody.

Speaker 2 (00:12):
This is Melissa would health uh, Melissa would Tepperberg. I
know Melissa. My recollection of you, Melissa is being at Marquis,
I think on Halloween in a costume and just like
saying I had a good costume.

Speaker 1 (00:31):
That one year. That was my Marilyn Monroe year.

Speaker 2 (00:33):
So I feel like, and I've known Noah, I can't
your husband. I don't know how long i've known him.
I have to have known him for thirty years easily,
there's yeah, it has to be thirty years. But so
I was there, which was also rare because I don't
go out that much even back then. And I was
at Marquis and I was wearing a marily mon Roe costume,

(00:53):
and I definitely feel like I looked good and I
saw Noah, and I feel like that's the first time
he reduced me to you in a formal way. I
could be wrong, but I feel like that's when you
and I really like met and talked for a minute,
and you were maybe cocktail waitressing.

Speaker 3 (01:10):
We weren't dating when I was cocktail waitressing, so then
maybe I'm mixing stories. Were you cocktail waitressing when I
met you? I feel like I met you as a waitress,
because he wouldn't have told me you were a waitress.

Speaker 1 (01:19):
So I feel like I met you as a waitress.

Speaker 3 (01:22):
I don't think so. No, you could have, because I
literally met everyone when I was cocktail waitressing. But I
would remember. I think what he was saying is she
used to cocktail waitress here. That's how we met. But
when we started dating, I was no longer cocktail waitressing
or working for him.

Speaker 2 (01:41):
So you were working for him as a cocktail waitress.
And then what did you go to do when you
got together?

Speaker 1 (01:47):
Like, how did that?

Speaker 2 (01:47):
I don't remember how that all happened, but I do, Yes,
I do think I met you as someone with him,
but it didn't seem like serious serious when I met you.

Speaker 3 (01:56):
It was probably like the very very beginning.

Speaker 2 (02:00):
Okay, great, So what happened You were working there and
tell me the.

Speaker 1 (02:04):
Story from your perspective.

Speaker 3 (02:06):
Well, I was working there for years. I was working
four nights a week, cockta waitressing at night, and then
during the day I would get up early go to casting.
It was like my days were insane. I like, think back,
and I really don't know how I did it because
I was just burning the candle at both ends. And

(02:30):
exactly right. Isn't it amazing? Like how you.

Speaker 1 (02:34):
Were young, this is what it was. Yeah, and you
had work ethics right.

Speaker 3 (02:38):
And I would also wake up before I even had
castings and work out for an hour, like it was
just unreal the lifestyle that I lived. But it just
got to the point where I started making real money modeling,
and I just, you know, cocktail waitressing and working in
night life for a very long time can just it's

(03:00):
really hard. It's so hard on you, not just physically
but mentally. And I so I left and I started
modeling full time. And that was like, you know, I
had a boyfriend, like I was dating someone at the time,
and Noah and I were always just friendly, but we
weren't even really friends. It was more just I looked

(03:21):
at him as my boss, you know. And then I,
you know, my ex and I broke up. And you
know how Noah is, he invites you to all the
things event and it's great. You know, I knew a
lot of people, so it was so comfortable and it
was never anything. And then I think, just slowly over time,

(03:44):
when you stop saying things like I would never you know,
because I for me, I just you see people one way,
and I think that stands in a lot of people's
way of keeping options open because you just never know.
But we're so quick to judge a situation on what
we think we know. Someone asks, and I can own

(04:07):
that one hundred percent that I did that, and that's true.
It just blocked anything, you know that.

Speaker 2 (04:13):
I was a cocktail waitress also, and this is interesting,
I'm realizing this in real time. So I was a
cocktail waitress in Boston at M eighty working for Seth Greenberg, who,
if I'm not mistaken, was one of Noah and his
partner Jason's mentors.

Speaker 1 (04:29):
Because did Noah go to school in.

Speaker 2 (04:31):
Boston or no no j Okay, So this guy, Seth Greenberg,
who was sort of the king of Boston the way
that Noah and Jason have been like the king of
New York in nightlife in many ways and now in
other cities.

Speaker 1 (04:44):
That guy I.

Speaker 2 (04:45):
Worked for him. So you and I went through the
same right of passage. Interestingly enough, I was a cocktail
waitress too, and I have a wine brand called Forever
Young because the last song that Seth would play every
night at M eighty and Paradise was Forever Young. So
it has runic. Yeah, so there's like a lot of
funny stories back then. But yes, so okay, so I
have met you and then I met you other times

(05:08):
and we know each other not like friends, but we're
friendly and I respect Noah and his work ethic and
so it must be a very I don't want to
say intense, but like that house has two people in
it that are really like going for it at all times.

Speaker 1 (05:25):
I would say, you.

Speaker 2 (05:26):
Know what I mean, Like you have two you have
two peacocks in your house, which is interesting.

Speaker 3 (05:32):
Right, we do, and both we're all fire signs in
my house and my kids are fire signs, so we're Wow,
there's a lot of heat heat. And yes, you know,
we're very much both very strong personalities. We're both bosses.

(05:53):
But I think the thing that works so well is
that we have so much respect and love and admiration
for each other and we really let each other do
our thing where that's the only way that it can
work for us. You know.

Speaker 2 (06:12):
Yeah, And well, your husband is he likes entrepreneurial spirit
in other people. He respects it, he nods it, he
feeds off of it, he wants to hear from it,
like you know, there's never been a time that he
would not return a phone call of mine. Not because
he doesn't like me, and I know he likes me,
but I just mean, like he knows that I'm a

(06:34):
hustler too, Like we come from the same sort of
breed of animal, and so he always wants to hear
whatever the hell I'm saying, pitching or just like pick
up the phone, just because you never know what you're
gonna get, so always Yeah, so you, I but you're
at a different stage in your career. I mean, he's
still always hustling, but you you were in a late

(06:54):
bloomer in your age, but a late bloomer in our sphere.
So tell me how that all went down. I didn't
know you were modeling.

Speaker 1 (07:02):
It makes sense.

Speaker 2 (07:03):
You're beautiful, so you were modeling, you were casting, you
were trying to make a living in New York. Where
were you from? Did you come from any means or no?

Speaker 3 (07:12):
I mean I grew up. I grew up in a
broken home in Syracuse. My parents' divorce when I was
really young, and it was just a constant, you know.
I lived with the survival energy of just trying to
make ends meet. So I think just that energy. Growing
up with that and being I have four sisters, so

(07:34):
being the middle child of the five of us, I
really stepped in young to help bring as much more
like peace into my home. I recognize. I mean I
literally remember being seven years old and seeing that my
mom was really overwhelmed. So I really took I took

(07:59):
it under my own way to just do everything that
I could. Like I was always cleaning, I was always
telling my sisters what to do. I was really bossy,
and they couldn't stand me, to be honest, And it's
funny because I think back at that time, I look
at what I'm doing now, and I never thought that

(08:21):
this was possible for me. I grew up with that
mentality that you know, the car that you are handed
is that's it. And some are lucky, some are not lucky,
but like you do whatever you can to stay afloat.
And I think just growing up and knowing that so young,
that always lived with me. So I mean, since I

(08:42):
can remember, I've I've had a job. It was like
this second someone would hire for me. I worked at
a farm picking strawberries, and then I worked in a
pizza shop, and then the second I was old enough
to work in a department store. I was hired and
I worked in the hardware department of all things. They
didn't know anything, and then they brought me over to
the cosmetic counter because they were like, we feel like

(09:04):
this is a better fit for you. And I've just
always had it in me to take care of myself,
but not just for myself, for my siblings and to
help my mom. And I mean to this day that
never leaves you, right, And I think that that is
the thing that really gave me this fire inside that

(09:27):
whenever I start to doubt myself or just feel like
it's too much, which happens right, Like it's right, I
can get so heavy and you're just like, why am
I doing this? What am I doing? Like? Can I
can I make my life easier and just not be
so ambitious? Right, Like there's a part of me that
sometimes is like I need to just take a step

(09:52):
back and be okay with what is right now and
not always look for the next thing. But you know,
my spirit really thrives, and I think we as humans
thrive off the evolution of our soul and who we
really are and who we came here to be.

Speaker 2 (10:09):
But you're still also in the climb. You will hit
a point. You will hit a point, and you will
know when you hit the precipice. And based on what
you're saying now, because I recognize it and recognizing that
you had money noise and it's just in your body,
it doesn't matter that Noah was successful, like you were
going to do what you were going to do, which

(10:30):
is also more admirable because when you get with somebody
who's successful and you're a beautiful woman, like you could
have just chilled and you went harder. But based on
everything you're saying, I know that feeling like you want
to get off the ride sometimes, like you just like
want to get off the ride and the ride's going
and the machine's too big, and you owe yourself to
so many people and the obligations. But there will be

(10:53):
a time when you start to like think that you
want to kind of exit or semi retire. You want
to only take all you want to take everything off.
That's not something you really want to do. And I
mean even like Tuesday, No I don't want to go there. No,
I don't want to do that photoshoot.

Speaker 3 (11:09):
I don't.

Speaker 2 (11:09):
It's either giving me philanthropy, or it's giving me so
much money I can't turn it down, or it's something
so different, or I'm laughing, but like it will get
more honed, and then that's really the sweet spot because
that's when everything will flood in in a way that
is so upside down, because that's when like more opportunities
will come because you have hit the financial precipice though

(11:31):
like I did it precipice, and then you're really literally
living completely only doing what you want and then everything
will fly and it's very strange, but it will happen
to someone like you for sure, and you're probably not
that far away from it.

Speaker 1 (11:43):
But it's good to know that that will happen.

Speaker 3 (11:47):
I mean, it's I feel it now right, I've gotten
So it's just you know, when you're doing things that
are just not aligned, it's like this something that you
feel where you're like, oh, before stretch, I'm so dune
doing that like those things. I'm but listen, I stretch
myself with certain things. With work. I'm very passionate. I'm

(12:11):
passionate about what I do. I love what I do.
But that doesn't mean that when it's coming in from
all of these different directions. It's still like I'm still
really learning how to manage it all. It's yes, it's
so much, and I and and to also, I think
just piggyback off what you mentioned of. You know, I

(12:33):
understand how people make assumptions about me and believe that
the reason I am in the position I am is
because of my husband. And oh dude, well, I don't
know that everybody even knows your whole story. So let's
before we get into that, because it's fair that I
don't know that everybody knows exactly who you are and
what you do. So to me, you are a woman

(12:55):
who really popped off in the pandemic, but you had
started before then, but at home, working out was really critical,
and you stopped drinking. Health became more and more important
to you, and you wanted to communicate and convey that,
and you just hit and struck and you ran with
it and now have created a real business and become

(13:18):
you know, publicly relevant and sports illustrated and like you
have subscribers and you have a cult following, and so
that's how I see it. And yeah, you happen to
have a partner who's successful in an entirely different industry.
But everybody that I know that's in the club business
that Mary's a model. She's not doing what you're doing respectfully.
And you know, I don't think he would have probably

(13:40):
cared either way, but he probably is a cheerleader.

Speaker 2 (13:43):
That's how I see it from the outside end. So
you can correct me if any of that's wrong or
off all of it's wrong.

Speaker 3 (13:49):
No, I think it's important. Like you said to maybe
no one, I mean, that's that, that's the truth. And
I you know, I got into this work because I
had a horrible relationship with myself, all of those feelings
of trying to keep everything together in your home at

(14:11):
a young age and then bringing that energy into you know, adulthood.
Moving to New York when I was in my early
twenties on my own, drove a U haul here with
a friend on a whim. I literally walked into Bloomingdale's
one weekend. When I came to New York for the
first time. I've never been to the city. My friend

(14:31):
was off interviewing for jobs, so I was learning the city.
I knew nothing. I mean, we didn't travel much. We
went to Canada for family a couple family trips. We
couldn't ford to like get on a plane and go
see the world. So for me, it was like coming
to New York for the first time was like my

(14:54):
eyes opened and saw things in a way like it
was like this electricity a life and I was like,
what is this is insane and I just was vibrating
on a different frequency the second my feet hit the
floor when I got out of the car and I
walked into blooming Dills and this is I was such

(15:18):
a small town girl. I mean. One of the makeup
artists asked me if they could do my makeup, and
I was like, I work at Chanelle and Sarah c
was like, this is so funny that you're like literally
like ask everyone to do their makeup. I said that
he did my makeup and then he was like, we're
interviewing for a position, and I was like, I'll interview,

(15:41):
Like I mean, I was so it was just like
so green, you know, that's so good though, That's such
a good excitement. I was so excited, and I went
to Marquis that night. I didn't know Noah at this point.
I went to Marquis that night, stayed out until like
four in the morning. I had an interview hours later.
I had no idea, Like it was like, what did

(16:01):
I think I was doing interviewing? I had no idea
how it was going to move to New York. I
had three jobs back home, my family, and I didn't
know anyone here, and I did. I got the job.
I went home. I was dating someone at the time,
and I was like, I'm moving to New York and
I just I don't know how, but somehow, some way,
I moved here. I drove two weeks later, stayed in

(16:24):
someone's apartment, and then got a tiny little apartment and
it it's I think the interesting thing is like once
you move away from it all, and I remember so vividly,
just like getting into my bedroom that was definitely a closet.

(16:44):
There is no way these differentions, like I could fit
like a cop bed in there, and I just remember
it all like everything I had pushed down for all
of these years like hit me. And it was like
this wave of I didn't know it was anxiety or
that I had really been anxious my whole life, but
it was really heavy and really strong. So I made

(17:08):
up my mission to run from that feeling and to
do anything and everything to cover it. Up to mask
it so I didn't have to feel that, and you know,
which led to eventually getting a job at Marquee and
then I started modeling, and just the mode of comparison
in that world is so intense when you were insecure,

(17:31):
it just swallows you. And it deeply did that for me,
and I, you know, thought the only way that I
could possibly be enough or book all the jobs was
to make being skinny my goal in life and just
fitting into the size and the mold of being a model.

(17:52):
And at that time when I was modeling, it was,
you know, models were very very thin. You were asked
to lose weight by your agents if you were a
certain even I mean I was like a four to
six and they said to me, like, you could go
on the plus side, spoort. I swear to you, I
would say small for six. And you know that tears

(18:17):
away you when you don't have the foundation and the
bones within yourself to stand up against that. And I didn't.

Speaker 1 (18:25):
Most don't.

Speaker 2 (18:25):
I had Aaron Spelling's casting director Tony tell me I
need those like six to eight pounds in la just
to be try to be an actress for an Aaron
Spelling show, and that was shocking. Like that just was
like it's just like someone was It doesn't matter the number,
but someone decided a number to tell you how not
good enough you were. And it's not even acceptable in modeling.

(18:50):
But at least they have some framework they think they're
working off of from sample size.

Speaker 1 (18:54):
This is like to act. It was like, what the
hell you know? So I get it.

Speaker 2 (19:10):
Yeah, someone who's in an authority position is telling you
that you're not going to be successful because there's so
many other girls. So you were like obsessed with your
weight and what partying and doing drugs or like what
was that?

Speaker 1 (19:23):
So?

Speaker 3 (19:23):
I was you know, I was counting every calorie I
would write. I would write down everything I ate. I
was working out in a very tortuous way. I thought
the only way that I could see results was with
at least an hour of cardioon an hour of strength training.
And was just like beating myself into the ground and

(19:46):
then binge drinking at night and starving, binge cheating after. Yeah,
it was just like the cycle.

Speaker 1 (19:53):
Yep, I was living the same cycle. I remember.

Speaker 2 (19:55):
I'd go to Marquis, I'd come home drunk and single
and alone. I'd go down to the deli, shovel everything in.
Then I just wouldn't eat for days. You know, I
get that the cycle of that, and it is emotional.
It's an emotional time. It's you're a young woman, you broke,
you don't know what the hell is going to happen
to you. You don't really have a safety net, and
you're just sort of like on some bizarre habitrail with

(20:17):
not really a big support system.

Speaker 1 (20:19):
Exactly, yeah, exactly.

Speaker 3 (20:21):
And it just got to the point where I I
hit my rock bottom.

Speaker 1 (20:29):
And how old did you hit rock bottom?

Speaker 3 (20:32):
I was mid twenties and.

Speaker 2 (20:36):
What so what was rock bottom? Where did you go
after rock bottom?

Speaker 3 (20:40):
I mean I had been like up all night drinking,
sun was coming up, binging. I was bollimic, so exact
cycle of you know, going to a deli or the
pizza shop next to me that was open, and even
basking robins, just literally anything I could get my hands on,

(21:04):
and I just I remember it was like when you're
trying to force yourself to do that, it's painful and
it just broke me. And I remember just looking myself
in the mirror and just thinking how disgusting I was,
and like this way, like just everything was discussing. I

(21:25):
hated myself and I was so done living this way
where I just felt like I can't do this anymore.
But I mean I was on my knees literally praying
like please help me, like show me any signs. And
you know you hear these stories all the time, but
it was so vivid for me where I saw this.

(21:48):
It was like this road and it was there were
there were two roads, and it's like you can carry
down this way of life. I know. And it's so
crazy because I saw no one and I were staying
in Vegas in a hotel room and there was this picture.
I took a picture. I posted it because I was like,
that is what I saw. It was like a tree

(22:09):
with two roads, and I just it was like you
can carry on down this path of mass destruction, just
tearing everything apart in your path. And I also had,
you know, I very quick on the tongue, could just
say things to boyfriends and people in my life that

(22:29):
I'm not proud of.

Speaker 1 (22:31):
But I had know you saying you were a little mean.

Speaker 3 (22:35):
I was really reactive.

Speaker 2 (22:39):
Well I'm going somewhere with this because I don't know
if you heard me talk about this. My mother passed
away recently, so I think I was seven years old
the first time I caught my mother throwing up and
she and it would happen repeatedly, and she would always
say to me, don't tell your stepfather because he'll be worried.

Speaker 1 (22:56):
I just don't feel well. He'll be scared.

Speaker 2 (22:58):
And that incided with a massive caddy, a plastic caddy
with drawers that had like every version of every U supository, laxative, everything,
And it was a lifestyle to be in the car
with her and her have to like stop the car
and say it was because of the coffee, and she
had to go use the bathroom.

Speaker 1 (23:13):
And my entire life, her entire life, I don't know what.
I think it's heart.

Speaker 2 (23:18):
When she was sixteen, moved to New York from Long
Island from Massapequa to be an actress. And she was
stunningly beautiful and fucked up house. What way more like
crazy abuse? Now what you're describing in your house, I'm
not comparing. I'm saying like insane, like her brother held
a shock gun to his father get his father from
beating his mother. But her whole entire life, she was

(23:40):
a beliemic, never once. I mean, my whole life was
every single meal, her being in the bathroom for two
hours and me never wanting her to go to a
friend's house or go to a school or go anywhere,
like me walking on eggshells because of the throwing up
and the panic and like what the bathroom's gonna be
like and her eyes are gonna be like and you know,
it's a very self loathing, self destructive disease because of

(24:00):
what you're discussing. And so this was think about this
for seventy plus years, sixty years and never admitted it,
to the point where we'd be on vacation together and
I would be like this beliem mea cop up until
I was in my teens in high school and college
and like following her like a crazy person, and like
you could never get her to admit it, and it
would never. She would she would like, I mean, in

(24:23):
the bathroom for two hours, and she would yell at
every waiter for things not being exactly runny and the
way they're supposed to be, and she would yell at everybody,
and she would smash the entire house.

Speaker 1 (24:31):
And she was also an alcoholic and so like.

Speaker 2 (24:34):
The slice of like I have seen the road that
you did not take like I have lived the road
as like that was my mother's child. Yeah, so it's
insane because you chose something that's extremely self loathing that
you were doing, and then you could to get out

(24:54):
of it is impossible because it's not like you're taking
away alcohol what you've done in your life. You're taking
away something that's in your life all the time.

Speaker 1 (25:04):
It's food.

Speaker 2 (25:04):
You have to have a relationship with food, which you
now do. And you talk about health and we can
get into that, but I'm just saying it's very it's
a different type of thing because it is there and
it's tempting and you're emotional and you want to eat something,
and then you can eat more. You know, you have
the tools to get rid of it. And so it's
really a sick, crazy thing.

Speaker 3 (25:21):
It is. It really is. And I like, I feel
your pain so deeply because I was, you know, a
product of that in different forms growing up, but then
I was becoming that too, and I saw it like
I saw it so clearly, and I just knew in

(25:43):
that moment or there's this other road you can take
that's scary as hell. I don't know, but I can
choose different like I can choose different things to cope,
because I think I started to just see like these
were coping mechanisms, these were the tools that I had

(26:03):
adapted over the years because I was living in survival mode,
and I it was like, just like that moment, I
was like, I'm asking for help because I didn't know
what to do, truly, And I remember calling a friend
asking for her therapist information. And I think the moment
you surrender to thinking that it's your strength that's going

(26:28):
to get you through every and like that was me
my whole life, Like I'm like, I've got this, I
can do this. I can work at the farm, and
I can get the money for the supplies my sister
needs for school. And it was like that was my
whole life feeling that way. And I think I always
thought I could handle everything and I could take care
of everything that's.

Speaker 2 (26:48):
From the outside. Though that's like attacking a problem that's
not like from the inside, you know what I mean.
I get that too, And you're right, I was going
down the same role. I wasn't going down the same
road because I never made myself throw up, but controlling
by like going out being mad at myself, drinking, eating,
feeling gross and then not eating for a couple of
days and starting all over again. I didn't have a
good relationship with food, which was how I wrote my

(27:09):
book Naturally Thin and became a natural food chef.

Speaker 1 (27:11):
So we have some similarities.

Speaker 2 (27:14):
So you intervene and you get into therapy, and how
does that morph into fitness and not drinking and these
healthy concoctions and this lifestyle that you now.

Speaker 1 (27:31):
Live in.

Speaker 2 (27:31):
And does it ever get tiring to be working out regularly?
Like for that to be your business, that people expect
for you to always be exercising, that seems like challenging
to me. I think I've met Tracy Anderson and she
used to say, like people should be working at six
days a week. And I think I got into like
a very friendly argument or on my talk show, I
was like, what you know so? And I sometimes think

(27:52):
about you or think about her, and I'm like, what
is she just decide She's like doesn't want to work
out anymore. It's just wants to like walk.

Speaker 3 (27:57):
You know.

Speaker 2 (27:57):
I just think about it because it's like a lot
to get on the mat every day do with the
stuff you do. I don't do that ever I walk maximum.
So I want to hear about like that whole journey
and all and the pressure and all that.

Speaker 3 (28:09):
I'm so glad you asked about it and and your
perspective because it's really important. So after like really doing
the work, and like when I say that, I mean
getting really honest with myself, which is really hard to do.
And I think people think they're doing that, but they're not.

(28:30):
And I feel as if just this entire journey is
I'm so radically transparent with myself and that's what has
helped me continue to just I think, stay on this
path of internal growth because I you know, stay with
therapy because that has really helped me just let it

(28:53):
all out in a safe space where you're not dumping
on every single person in your life. But also, you know,
I had a horrible relationship to food, but over time
healing my relationship to myself, I really realized it was
never the food, it was how I felt about me.
I looked at the mirror and it all really really

(29:16):
shifted when I started meditating. That was when it was
everything slowly, very very slowly. I started to see everything differently.
The most important thing I saw differently was myself. I
became so much more compassionate and loving and kind and

(29:36):
empathetic towards everything I had gone through, towards who I
was you know today, And that shifted the way that
I started doing everything, the way that I was moving
my body. I started moving like I love myself like.
It's really amazing what happens when you're not beating yourself
up or going through a workout because of what you

(29:58):
ate the night before, torturing yourself. Fear based I call
that fear based exercise. Yes, fear based exercise. I did
it for years, and the crazy thing is I didn't
get to a happy place within myself. I actually gained
weight same living That weight was fight or flight, No,
one hundred percent.

Speaker 2 (30:16):
That's what I tried to explain to people because it's
the same thing I was trying to explain to you
about business before. When you're white knuckling and holding onto everything. Yes,
when people are broke, they have to work their asses
off and you have to get there. And I used
to have a five hundred dollars car with the crack
windshield and I was up twenty four hours and that
was that. But once you hit, if you're still white
knuckling and you're like desperate about work.

Speaker 1 (30:35):
It won't work.

Speaker 2 (30:36):
You have to like sort of allow for things not
to happen and like let the blood flow in it.
And it's the same thing with relationship to food. I
feel the exact same way when when I was on
a diet and everything I.

Speaker 1 (30:48):
Had to be steamed and we had all these rules.

Speaker 2 (30:51):
That's when you were, you know, twenty thirty pounds heavier
because you just had a terrible relationship with it. It's
like something toxic. You're holding onto it. It won't your body,
your energy, it won't allow you to just have a
normal relationship with food. And exercise, by the way, people

(31:19):
have a bad People go exercise like crazy so they
can eat, and then you're on another version of a treadmill.
I'm exercising or I have to go exercise because quote unquote.

Speaker 1 (31:30):
I was bad.

Speaker 2 (31:31):
You're not bad, you weren't good. It's just it's not
your best friend or your enemy.

Speaker 3 (31:35):
It is food.

Speaker 2 (31:35):
So I think that part of exercise people have to
have a good relationship with it and they have to
be able to just like do it because it's working
for them if they can. But if they can't you know,
some people are obsessed and running, obsessed about they're gonna
go on vacation because of their workouts.

Speaker 1 (31:49):
They're not gonna enjoy it. They don't want to go
to this.

Speaker 2 (31:52):
Office, this hotel in a business hotel because they're not
gonna have a gym, Like people get crazy. So I
feel like that can also be very noisy for people
if not managed to food.

Speaker 1 (32:02):
The food and the exercise, I.

Speaker 3 (32:04):
Mean, it just increases your cortisol, like your stress levels
are through the roof. And I was that person, so
I know how that way of life feels to live,
and it is heavy and it's daunting, and it's not enjoyable.
It's just not So Once I started meditating, and then
I started moving and combining the two forms of exercise

(32:29):
that I liked, but there were to me, there were
things within both of them that I wanted different, Like
I wanted yoga to have way more flow, and I
wanted pilates to feel less like here's this move. Stop.

Speaker 2 (32:43):
Yes, that's what I don't like about pilates. Yeah, calisthenics
to me, So I.

Speaker 3 (32:48):
Started blending them and literally moving in a way that
my body had never really moved before with the combination
of the two, and I started setting up my phone
like I had an iPod or a tripod from Amazon.
I had no lighting, no sound, but I started sharing
these little things, like what it was like to wake

(33:13):
up in the morning and not reach for your phone
first thing, or have coffee first thing in the morning,
and actually take a moment to be with your breath,
to be with what is in your life, which we're
all running from. We're running from ourselves, running from our
feelings and our thoughts and the things and the list
that we have to manage because it's a lot. But

(33:35):
I started to really understand and learn that when I
could actually bring myself into a place where I could
tap into my parasympathetic nervous system, which helps us. I
think of it as like the peaceful state where you
can rest and digest. And by the way, I had
cystoic acnea all over my face while I started this journey,

(33:57):
which was a massquest to get to the bottom of that.
Because I had tried accutate. I saw every single doctor,
top dermatologist and was just told I needed to do
a second round. Meanwhile knowing that what that pill was
doing to destroy the microbiome and was horrible for my
enter system. Like I was just like, not adding up.

(34:19):
There has to be a different way. And I slowly
started to discover through my practice there was a different way,
and I started to feel really good and I was
living in a state of contentment and joy within myself
that I was like, it was so contagious that I
had no idea how or what I was doing when

(34:43):
I was sharing it, but I knew there was something
greater than me that said you have to share this,
You have to share the simplicity. So to go back
to what you were saying about, does it ever feel heavy?
Do I feel like it's too much to exercise? Truly consistently?

(35:05):
Not one day have I ever felt that from doing
this for almost a decade. And I'll tell you why.
Because the way that I started sharing this work was
using what you have available to you, no longer feeling
like you need all of the things to get something in,
and taking the time that you have and using that

(35:28):
getting something in. It was more about just squeezing it in.
You know, I had had Benjamin at this time and
would have him in the bouncy chair, and I you know,
he'd be like sleeping in the chair and I would
get like a fifteen minute full body in and I
was great for the day. And I started to realize
that my connection to exercise was physically focused for all

(35:51):
of those years, But what I didn't really connect to
until I started meditating was that this was strength my
mind in ways I didn't connect the two, and in return,
like the icing and the bonus on the cake, was

(36:11):
physically being in the best shape of my entire freaking life.
So I mean, I did all those things that you
were saying the hour of this the six seven, feeling
like it needs to be this heavy thing in order
to see results, and I'm here to tell you and
why I am. So it's like this gets me out

(36:32):
of bed in the morning because I'm like, no, it
doesn't have to be that way. And it's not about
I have to exercise today. It's that I get to
I get to move my body in this way. And
I know damn well what it feels like to hate myself,
to feel like shit, to not want to get out

(36:55):
of bed, to not want to carry on. So exercise
is something that has given me life, and it's shown
me my own beauty and help me see things in
life that I've never been able to see, so I
don't look at it in that way anymore. And this
is this is medicine for my mind and my body,

(37:17):
and it has given me so much strength to do
all of the things that I'm doing. And it's it's
just revealed something to me that I think is so
important to just emphasize for all of these, you know,
the generations to come, all of the younger generations, the

(37:38):
ones before us, that there's a different way of doing
things and it doesn't have to fit into this mold
that we've been told for so many years by some
of the you know, the most thought after professionals in
the space of fitness. And that's how I was able to,

(38:01):
you know, slowly start sharing on Instagram. And then it
just got to the point where I was like, I
need a home base, like I need somewhere people can
go to. And I, you know, I built my first site.
I built a subscription business. I built a paywall behind
the website. It was janky, it wasn't great, but I

(38:21):
did it. And I just started building this community. And
it was through the connection of really listening and understanding
what people wanted to really be broken down in how
to way for not just like me showing my life

(38:42):
in the way. I was like, how can you do
that too?

Speaker 2 (38:44):
Well, that's what I'm picking up the most. I used
to I had a part of I think it was
naturally thin when it started. Use what you have when
you can, like do what you can when you can
use what you have, meaning if it's cooking, it's like
what's around. And if you're exercising, and like you said,
if you can only do fifteen minutes or you can
do ten minutes, or you're stretching, or you're breathing, you're
taking a walk, that's what you have available to you,

(39:06):
versus saying, let me just not do anything, which I
really do Like I.

Speaker 1 (39:11):
Like that and I get that.

Speaker 2 (39:12):
And are you did you start out meditating like on
an app? Did you go to one of these gurus?
What do you and how long do you do it for?

Speaker 3 (39:24):
I started. I learned through transcendental meditation. I took a
weekend workshop and I practiced that way for a very
long time, but to the point where it started to
feel because in that model it's very much or philosophy,
I should say, it's twenty minutes in the morning and
it's twenty minutes later in the day. That's forty minutes.

(39:46):
And I think when you hear that, most people run
check out. It's hard to stay consistent with that. So
I had discovered through having kids and still knowing that
this was so important and just being truly devoted to
this practice because for me it was it was like

(40:07):
that daily medication and that I was filling my mind
and my body with. I started to blend different styles,
and I mean it's still this constant evolution of integrating
different things. Breathwork, mantra, a little bit of meditative movement,
and I was blending things in my own way, which

(40:30):
is kind of I mean what I've always enjoyed, right,
It's like learning something making it your Yeah, there's no rule.

Speaker 2 (40:37):
And people get intimidated. And you could take I've taken
those beaded necklaces where it is all these different colored
beads and they have a tassel for anyone listening, like
at a yoga class.

Speaker 1 (40:47):
They sell them. You can just take any necklace of yours.

Speaker 2 (40:49):
You could take a rosary bead and like you go
one bead at a time, like you touch one bead
and then you take a breath in and out in
your nose, and then you go to the next bead,
and then when you hit the tassel like you know,
and then next time you could go all the way around.
Or just breathing in and out is meditation. Just breathing
in and out. And you don't have to be sitting
up if it's uncomfortable, you can lay down like.

Speaker 1 (41:10):
You could do what you need to do. You could
be on a bench outside.

Speaker 2 (41:12):
I think people get intimidated by the word meditation when
it really is just being still present and breathing, and
you will get distracted, you will think of other things.
Just do your best to get back to center. I
think that that's that's the thing exactly.

Speaker 3 (41:27):
That's I think a lot of people, and myself included,
I used to judge my practice. I would say I
didn't know that wasn't a good meditation. Oh I didn't
meditate today, or it wasn't deep enough. And every single
day is so different. I mean, somebodys are right. That's
why I have walking meditation, lights up the wall, meditation,
lying down meditations. I mean I have meditated, and I

(41:49):
mean airplanes, benches, taxis any bathrooms, Like I before speaking
or something, I always go into the bathroom.

Speaker 1 (41:58):
I do a little moment.

Speaker 3 (41:59):
But it's just bringing that awareness and that consciousness right
that we spend a lot of time and energy scrolling
on Instagram, so instead of doing that right, taking that
active choice and coming back and just it's like watching
that inflow and that outflow of breath even for one minute.

Speaker 1 (42:19):
I agree, and it changes.

Speaker 2 (42:21):
Like you could have a delay at an airport and
you'll notice you react differently based on you're just generally
how you deal with things. You'll see how your kids like, ah, mom,
why wait what? And you're just like it is what
it is, like you're more of just you know, because
to your point, if you're about to do a speech,
or if you're going into something, or if you're seeing
your in laws, or if there's a holiday dinner or some.

Speaker 1 (42:41):
Shit show you've got to deal with.

Speaker 2 (42:43):
It's like taking a steak out of a freezer and
sticking it out in the sun. Otherwise, like you just
you sometimes need like to get some equilibrium in between
things going on, and breathing is a good way to
do that. Like and yes, sometime at the end of
the night before you your own a bed, like to
try to breathe in and out fifteen times. You'll probably

(43:04):
be asleep by the time you finish. And in the
morning to try and breathe out, breathe in and out
fifteen to twenty five times, so it doesn't have to
be so daunting. I agree with that, and I don't
always do what I love yoga, but it's just nice
to know that it's something there that is like a
nice glass of water when you're thirsty, you could just
pick it up and like it's right there for you
because it's in your body.

Speaker 1 (43:23):
So I think that's amazing.

Speaker 2 (43:25):
And does your fam does your family ever feel what
does Noah ever feel?

Speaker 3 (43:31):
Like?

Speaker 2 (43:31):
Is he fully quote unquote on board? Like if he
wakes up in the morning and he's always connected and
he picks up his phone, do you care what he's doing?
Does it trigger you like does he have to be
part of this way of life completely?

Speaker 1 (43:43):
Or does he have his own way of life?

Speaker 2 (43:44):
Like you know what I mean, because I'm sure he's
I've seen him drink your smoothies and like do some
of it, But I can't imagine he's fully you know,
Noah would health now, so what is he like about this?

Speaker 3 (43:58):
You know, Noah? He well, I will I will fully
admit that I tried to control that aspect of him
and just like, don't do this, do that, and that
doesn't work. And for anyone listening, the more push and
pull and force, it's like just rubbing sandpaper together. So

(44:21):
for me, I think a lot of it was just
the acceptance of everyone around me, even family life, right,
Like you want to go home and share all these
things that help crack you open, and I think, you know,
people only want to move towards what they're as far
as they want to. So there was a lot of
work that had to go into me just letting things be.

(44:44):
And you know, Noah has really made so many incredible
changes and shifts on his own. He has his own
habits that he loves. I mean, are there things he
still does, of course, But I've learned to nag less
because I can be a nagger and want things the

(45:08):
way I want them. It's something I'm always working on,
but I'm very aware of and just letting him be.
And he's drinking the green juice, he's doing the things
he works out regularly, and he's changed he's very different.

Speaker 2 (45:27):
Yeah, probably because he sees it. He's inspired. But we
don't fix them. We fix you know, we work on ourselves.
We don't work on others. It's very hard. I get that,
Like you want to be like when you see something clearly,
you know, it happens with our kids too. It'll happen
as your kids get older. So the current state of

(45:54):
your business is it's obviously thriving. You have this subscription model,
you work, you do a lot of different brand deals,
and you're in demand. And so what else is coming up?
What are you excited about? Like, what what is what's
the next phase of this?

Speaker 3 (46:12):
What is the next phase of this? You know, it's
it's a lot of just continuing to tap in do
that feeling, like you talked about in the beginning of
like the things I really really love to do is
what I've just been focusing on more and I've been
doing more speaking, more motivational speaking, which I have always

(46:35):
wanted to do. And even through having a podcast and
doing these incredible like member events with hundreds of people,
when I walk away from them, I'm like, it is insane.
I'm so high off life. But it's not just about
you know, starting with the meditation, moving everyone. It's the talking.

Speaker 1 (46:58):
It's you're good at it. I can tell and you're right.

Speaker 2 (47:01):
And it's a different animal to go travel somewhere, to
stand up, to talk to people who want to hear,
and to educate people who don't, and it's just a
good interaction. It's like being in a live theater. It's
it's definitely different. It's so different, and I love it.

Speaker 3 (47:17):
So I've been I've been doing more of that, which
has been really exciting. But I am very much in
this place right now as talking about this last night,
where I feel like they're you know, in our lives
and being i think, very motivated, independent, ambitious, strong women.

(47:38):
There's this need where it's like okay, well I've done that,
like what else? And I'm learning to just soften into
like being with what is instead of just going for
everything if that makes any sense, Like just it.

Speaker 2 (47:54):
Makes all the sense. It's noisy. It's noisy, and if
it quiets down, you can sit. If you always thinking
about what you're going, Like, we're in this world offe
be productive and we're Americans and there's no lunch and
pros play herd and money never sleep. You know, the
most creative times I've ever had are between sleep and wake.
And everybody thinks I'm like an animal because I'm always working,

(48:15):
and I'm really not. I just my mind is always working.
That's hard for me. But I define my entire life
by how much time I have off and how much
free time and have a little I actually have to do.

Speaker 1 (48:29):
I don't like to be tethered.

Speaker 2 (48:30):
I don't like to have to go, and it's very
hard for people around me because people are constantly throwing
opportunities and money and covers and things at me. And
I'm always saying no, walked away from millions of dollars
on television, walked right out. But when I did and
kept doing that, so many more things come. So like
things will show up at your door, but you wouldn't

(48:50):
have been able to see them, and you wouldn't have
been able to think of them in the same way
if your mind is so crowded with noisiness of what
you're supposed to be doing, and finding the white noise
will just it's something that you have that's a process
you actually have to trust.

Speaker 1 (49:04):
It's like the ocean.

Speaker 2 (49:05):
There are gonna be sets that are crazy and you're
gonna ride those waves. You're not gonna not ride the waves.
The wave is right there, You're gonna take the wave.
But then there's gonna be the com set. You're not
supposed to be rushing out in between, because we rush
out in between, you get caught and the riptide, then
you miss the good waves, then you miss the calm,
and then it's a total shit show. So you have
to have that patience and trust in the ocean and

(49:26):
its cycle, because that is really where the sweet spot is.
And I definitely have found that because for me to
be having more opportunities and making more money doing eighty
percent less than I ever did now is nuts.

Speaker 1 (49:41):
It doesn't.

Speaker 2 (49:42):
It's because I really honestly was like, I kind of
want to retire. I just want to be with my daughter,
I want to do philanthropy, I don't want all this
stuff anymore. And then just amazing things came, but you
can work them differently. So I think that that's why
I said that to you in the beginning, because I'm
very like I pick up on people and I feel
like you're doing incredibly well, and you're not going to
walk away from the tables while they're hot.

Speaker 1 (50:02):
No one would do that.

Speaker 2 (50:04):
But if you're willing to walk away from the tables
when they start going cold, they're never going to really
go cold. It's just going to be a different type
of tables. Not desperation. Now that you're desperate, Yeah, I
know that feeling of hunger. There's just a line between it.

Speaker 3 (50:18):
There is and the more space that I give myself.
I am the queen at saying no to ninety ninety
five percent of everything that comes in because I really
look at how I spend my time and I'm I
preserve my energy. I know what it takes to film

(50:38):
the way that I film, you know, like I record workouts.
I mean I strive to a good three four days
a week on top of doing the podcast two days
a week with sometimes two guests each day. It's a
lot of it's a lot of energy. I love. I
love it. I feel like there's people who are born

(51:02):
to do it or it's a struggle, and for me
it's it's very natural. I love it. But then on
top of that, I also have a team of people,
we have creators on the It's those elements where I'm like, Okay,
I can't do all the things and have the time
to make sure I'm there for my kids in the
way that I want to show up as a mother.

(51:24):
So I take so much off my plate and I'm
all about preserving my piece.

Speaker 2 (51:31):
And it's hard to manage people to managing a team
and a business is the hardest, and it's the biggest
time suck because it's hardest, the biggest, the worst. It's
the pieces are moving. And also if you try to
please everybody, you please nobody. And the worst is when
I remember being pregnant and moody and like I had
too much going on, and it all sounds good on

(51:51):
that little qute calendar and on an email. Sure, that
sounds amazing. Oh my god, it's so adorable, and then
it's there, and then you hate everyone around you that
it's and then you're moody and you're then if you're present,
which you are, you're moody, and you're like, this won't work.
I have to be happy and everything I'm doing otherwise,
what the hell?

Speaker 1 (52:09):
What are we doing?

Speaker 2 (52:10):
Like no one forced me to do any of this,
And it's when it affects your personality and then the
wheels start to come off where you have to like
be like, no, I won't do anything if I'm not
doing it well and if I can't be kind and
happy doing it. And I've seen both sides of that
for myself for sure.

Speaker 3 (52:26):
The same. I'm laughing so hard because it's so true.
I think we are just a culture who thrives off
back to backs and we're going all day. And by
the way, I am a slur, like I got a
machine you stacked? No, me too, stack things? Yeah, I
know in a day that would take people a month.

(52:47):
I'm not it's not I'm not bragging. It is just
in my bones. I got fud of what I can handle.
I know I'm speaking to someone who knows no.

Speaker 2 (52:56):
But then you also have a recover and it becomes
this ebb and flow. It's almost like a work binge.
To be honest, if I'm being honest with myself, it's
almost like because your I called stacking, which is great,
But if I'm really gonna get really in touch with
the truth, it's not that unlike like eating so much
and then starving because I find that I am a
roller coaster.

Speaker 1 (53:16):
I am.

Speaker 2 (53:17):
I will stack it be so ultimately productive, but then
get the fuck away from me.

Speaker 1 (53:22):
For a couple of days. Yeah, so that you know.

Speaker 3 (53:25):
No, I'm doing that. I don't just anymore. I mean
I have there are still these moments where I have to,
you know, level set and be like okay that day,
drain the life to not do that again. But I
am very different now, Like I know, I am a machine,
but I also take care of myself in a way

(53:47):
and I really try to. I don't love the word.
I mean it's like, of course you try to balance things,
but what is balance when you're.

Speaker 2 (53:54):
Trying to prep and post and hydri Yeah, and also
just like cushing yourself for the blow, because it's not
going to always be a perfect situation. And it happens
with your kids, it happens with the lacrosse game, it
happens with screwing something up. I mean, it happens with everything,
not just work. I get it, And I think the
ultimate goal is to be able to be present a

(54:14):
lot of my present in both and not in a
cheesy way. I just mean like, if you're with your
kids and you're on your phone the whole time, then
you're not really with your kids. If you're working and
you're calling your kids all day because you're feeling guilty,
you're not really working like you got to. Just if
you commit to whatever it is, it's being parent on
that day going to that game, you're there, you're not
on the game on your phone the whole time, and
if you're at work, you're not on the phone with

(54:36):
your kids.

Speaker 1 (54:36):
Like that's the thing. Otherwise, don't do it.

Speaker 2 (54:38):
Sometimes I commit to one out of two of my
daughter's games a week because otherwise it becomes this thing
where I'm just stripped and I'm just checking the boxes
and doing. Yeah, I'd just go to the game, be
the mom, get the crossbody, water purse and the chair
on my back and bring the snacks and the dogs
and show up and be super mom. And the other day,
you know, the expectations aren't there, so you're doing amazing.

(55:02):
I think it's great. And now talking to you really
like getting more textual with it has been really interesting,
and I just think it's wonderful.

Speaker 1 (55:09):
I think it's I'm really happy for you.

Speaker 2 (55:11):
I'm proud of you, and I'm happy that you found
this place in your life and I'm happy you're sharing it.

Speaker 1 (55:16):
It's it is contagious. I think it's beautiful.

Speaker 3 (55:19):
Thank you so much, Bethany. Thank you, Cea. You've always
just been so inspiring to me. A woman who's never
been afraid to just share her voice in the way
that she wants to share it. And I think that
we need more women who are not afraid to be
who they are and to use their voice in ways

(55:39):
that can change the way people see things themselves and
just create a movement in this world of goodness, like
we just need people who care and are doing things
for the better, good for all of us.

Speaker 2 (55:54):
So well, likewise, thank you so much. I appreciate it.
Thank you for coming. I'm so excited.

Speaker 1 (55:59):
Was wonderful. The girl we're gonna be Oh my god,
I loved her. That was amazing.

Speaker 2 (56:02):
Oh well, thank you, Melissa. It was really wonderful. So
let's get together in the Hamptons. We're starting soon. I'm
so excited.

Speaker 3 (56:08):
Amazing. I know I know where your old house was
because Noah had shown me when we're driving around.

Speaker 1 (56:13):
So I'm gonna say it this out loud.

Speaker 3 (56:15):
Maybe I'll do you.

Speaker 2 (56:15):
I'm in my adventure era and I'm kind of on
the verge besides my hair today, I'm kind of on
the verge of a glow up just so you know,
I started nature walking every day but most days if
it's nice out, and I started doing my yoga at
home with this app that I like. So usually once
I get started, I do my beach walk. I'm gonna
be on the beach now, and I'm just about to

(56:36):
start a glow up. So I feel like you could
take credit for.

Speaker 1 (56:39):
Part of that. I feel like I want to do.

Speaker 2 (56:40):
If I I used to go, like I said to
Tracy Anderson, if I would go twice a week, I
would have been on the cover of Sports all straight.
I would have been the president of the United States.
If you work out with me twice in a week
in the summer, we could do it before and after,
and the results will be remarkable, remarkable.

Speaker 3 (56:59):
I know they will. And listen, let's talk, because I
would seriously do something with you.

Speaker 1 (57:05):
We'll come to you. Let's do something.

Speaker 3 (57:07):
I'm going to show you like this is what I
always say, because I don't typically do privates, right, But
of course there's certain things I love to do it.
I love the class energy.

Speaker 1 (57:18):
But I'm on the verge of a glow up, though, Melissa.

Speaker 3 (57:20):
So I'm ready to It's also just to show how
less is more and the art of like you will
be amazed. Give me twenty minutes, and.

Speaker 2 (57:30):
I want you to create something from me with my
workouts online every day after Okay, that's all right. What
I want to do is come to your house and
just take off my clothes and sleep with you. No,
I want to come to your house and take off
my clothes and show you my body, which is like
thinner fifty three year old woman needs a little tightness,

(57:51):
needs a little like.

Speaker 3 (57:53):
I've seen you in a bikini in Miami and you
are a babe. Please listen, I rock a bikini. That's
what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (57:59):
We are so close, like if I tighten it up
a little, like the butt is a little in pancakey.

Speaker 1 (58:04):
It's like that, you know. I mean, yes, I pull it.

Speaker 3 (58:07):
It's good.

Speaker 2 (58:07):
It's good, but it could be great, and this is
the summer for it. So I want to come over
and I want to like be in like a Dove campaign,
just like wear normal like you know, I want to
wear a bra and I want to show you and
we'll take a picture, and I want you to give
me a prescription. I can tell you what I'm already doing,
and I will take the X number of time, and
then we will come back and we will regroup and

(58:29):
we will see how the glow up looks.

Speaker 3 (58:31):
I will guide you, and I feel very confident that
you are going to well because you're going to see
how it fits into your life and you don't believe.
And it's like you can do it at home and
your daughter, I mean the amount of mother daughters that
that is the part that I mean, if anyone can

(58:52):
get me, it's when the moms come up and they're like,
you help my daughter through the heart, and she's like,
can I do it with her?

Speaker 2 (58:59):
And I'm just like, right, brain would love it too.
It's cute, right the mom You're like, yes, okay, no,
you have the moms. The moms are the back yeah,
the book. But I want to see results, Melissa, what help? Okay, Okay,
I want to see results. Otherwise I'll just go to
Marquis with Noah and dance on a speaker and get
in shape that way. But something's got to give, So
I'm ready for.

Speaker 1 (59:19):
My glow up.

Speaker 3 (59:20):
Okay, Okay, amazing, I awesome, have a good day. Thank
you so much. Thank