August 18, 2023 • 30 mins
A woman’s voice is very powerful. Now Rachel is using hers to tell her own story…for the first time…
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:12):
So I saw that there was a pill bottle thrown
at the reunion, like made light of. Somebody said, you
want a XENX, I have a xanax, and that was
sort of made light of. And I sometimes think about
that this is effectively it's a non traditional workplace, but
I would imagine there are even some workplace rules in
a strip club, like it is still a workplace. And
(00:33):
I thought, a pill bottle is being thrown. Wow, okay,
And then I thought about I read something where they
said that I read that Andy said to I think
variety that he thought that you were medicated, that you
were insinuating that you were on prescription drugs. So how
(00:54):
did that.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
Make you feel? I mean, I am medicated.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
I've been on antidepressants for several years now, and it
makes sense looking back, probably around the time that I
started filming vander pump roles. But to say that I
must be met, to say that I must be heavily
(01:22):
medicated because my behavior was erratic or I didn't have emotions,
is not okay in my eyes. I feel like that
violates some sort of hip a law, and to make
assumptions like that, it's damaging to a person.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
An employer cannot say that a person that works for
them is medicated. I mean, I know that that's a
private piece of information, whether it was true or not
or speculation. I just don't know where the line is.
That's what I'm kind of that reunion, And this is
why people are saying to me, why are you doing this?
Why you bite in the hand that feeds you. I'm
(02:07):
the shining golden child that got out and made the money.
Why am I they They would have had me back
at any time to make millions of dollars to be
on these shows. Something about this jumped off the page
to me, like this is where the line is crossed.
And the fact that the viewers digested what was said
to you that I just read. I don't think they
really realized what they were digesting because it's become the
norm now. I just think that the viewers just like
(02:29):
in some hazy world where they think this is like real,
but you're kind of these like circus character, You're like
these characters animals in a zoo that they don't really
understand that you're a person and that that was said
to you, and that like it's just like flippant talk
about the medication. So after the reunion, Andy said, she
took it on the She took it all on the chin,
(02:50):
like a champ. She just sat there and took it.
I didn't know that she would be able to, which
is probably why I hypothesized. I didn't know how long
Rachel or Raquel would last on set. Given my years
of experience in these forms, I would have thought that
she would have walked off way sooner and maybe walked
into her car, never to be seen again.
Speaker 3 (03:14):
So that's ending that you say that just because I
did walk off stage and then he summoned me back.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
That's what I'm saying. This is what I'm okay. So
this is why it feels you're abused and you're told
to fuck you with the cheese grater and forty other
things and then hold on, come back. It's like you
just abused by people, but we want you to come
back for more. And then, what I don't understand is
I didn't know how long she would last on set,
and I would have thought she'd walk off and then
(03:44):
and went into the reunion. He said, he went into
the reunion worried for your mental health, and he said,
I saw how unemotional she was, and it made me
think like she was either really medicated, so it almost
sounds like he was worried going in. I wondered, did
anyone advocate for you to have like a mental health
advocate on set or someone to protect you.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
Or going into the reunion.
Speaker 3 (04:07):
It was promised to me that I would have a
mental health advocate in my trailer as I watched the
first two parts of the reunion and then behind the
scenes just in case for my mental well being, and
that was taken away from me Jesus the night before,
(04:30):
like the day before the reunion, and I think it
was a punishment because I did this, Like this paparazzi
guy found me waiting to get my nails done on
the sidewalk of the street and I felt awkward being
inside there and I asked some of his questions.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
They were very basic.
Speaker 3 (04:53):
I didn't give away anything that the reunion was going
to touch on, and I think the network saw that
and was, I don't know, angry, disappointed and punished me.
Punished me by taking away my mental health advocate.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Okay, okay.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
Oh. And then there's one more thing regarding the Hippa situation.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
There was a.
Speaker 3 (05:24):
So it got out that I was at the Meadows
for mental health treatment, and sorry, one of my peers
who recognized me when I came into the Meadows was like,
(05:48):
oh my gosh, Raquel, like what are you doing here?
And she was in for that duration of time, so
she didn't know anything about the scandal, but she watched
the show, and so I feel her in on the
situation and the things that led me up to coming
to get treatment. And that was my first week and
(06:08):
her last week. That same day she left, there was
news that I was at this place called the Meadows
getting mental health treatment, and that was a violation of
my privacy. And then you know, it got picked up.
(06:29):
But then there was conversations of oh, Rackulla isn't getting treatment.
She's at a spa, she's at Miravlle and.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
You said that castmates or yeah in the press.
Speaker 3 (06:41):
Insiders, people who know for a fact, And so that
whole narrative was being pumped out there that I'm at
a spa, and I had my team like contact them saying, look,
you guys know she's at the Meadows.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
We have the paperwork to confirm it.
Speaker 3 (07:00):
It will you dispel these rumors that she's at a
SPA and they refuse to do that to create keep
this narrative going.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
But being in a mental health facility and not getting
that cleared up, you wanted them to say she's getting
treatment not at a SPA, because yeah, wow, and why
wouldn't they.
Speaker 3 (07:19):
They wanted to keep this narrative going, like it was
more salacious for me to be at a SPA than
to be really reflecting all my actions.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
So did anyone from Bravo reach out to you post
reunion out of concern wanting to help you, wanting to
pay for your treatment or check in with you, or
even be worried that it would come down on them?
Like what was what were they what was the reaction,
what was what was their involvement? Or what did they do?
(07:49):
What have they done?
Speaker 2 (07:50):
No, there is no check in.
Speaker 3 (07:53):
From anybody to see if I was okay and just
to you know, like follow up. And unfortunately I asked
for my tuition, I guess to be covered for my
treatment and they refuse to pay for it. And we
(08:17):
have a I have a theory that is because if
they paid for it, they would admit to this liability.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
Yes, it's culpable if you pay then you're yes, Yeah, interesting. Wow,
So there has been all this going around people are
(08:46):
you know, speculating that you're part of this reality reckoning
And there have been just like whispers about you and
I very very subtle. But we've done a very good
job that no one knows we're here, which is wonderful
and thank you everyone. But have has Bravo been acting
differently towards you since your name is in the mix
and they're getting worried and they're getting legal letters and
there's been a lot of very public.
Speaker 3 (09:07):
Yeah, just a few days ago, somebody reached out from
the network and offered for security to be at my
house where I'm staying with my parents. And it's like,
it's a little too late. All of the death threats
were happening months ago, and you were aware of it
(09:27):
yet did absolutely nothing to protect anybody. And after those league,
after that legal letter went out, all of a sudden
they're offering services.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
So it's a little fishy.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Interesting. What's also interesting is that we watched what we've
just discussed as emotional abuse on the reunion, But what
happens with the public, what about the messages and what
has really what if people said to you. I've seen
merch sold cups with your names on, so explain that
world of hate.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 3 (10:05):
I think the most disturbing thing talking about the merch
is when I sent out that seasoned desist from my
litigator to all of the cast to not share the
video that.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
Was taken without my consent.
Speaker 3 (10:24):
La La decided to use that and be like, oh
my god, don't contact me directly contact my attorney Darryl
like send have your people send it to my people,
you dumb bitch, or whatever the hook her message was.
And then she started making these sweatshirts that said send
it to Daryl. And I guess she has made enough
(10:48):
for a down payment on her new house in Palm Springs. Wow,
the same house that she bought out from under the
rug because Brock was interested in buying that house.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
But it just happened so quickly.
Speaker 3 (11:01):
I don't know the details don't matter, but it's like
so many people are using this opportunity and this scandal
to monetize for their own benefit.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
And I'm left here.
Speaker 3 (11:14):
Broke, broke, and you know my name has been raped
through the cools. I don't have business opportunities. My brand
is shot mistress. Yeah, I'm that best.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
What kind of did you? Did you actually receive death
threats and online bullying?
Speaker 3 (11:34):
And yes, yes, my parents received them more than I did.
I shut off social media pretty early on, and thank
god I didn't have my phone while I was in treatment.
And you know, we got the FBI involved because these
(11:54):
things aren't okay, and I think people were seeing red
and they were just like.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
Overcome with these emotions.
Speaker 3 (12:03):
But not thinking that this is a situation that isn't
so black and white. And I'm really really happy that
I took the time to go to get treatment at
the Meadows because they did teach a lot about shame
and carried shame, toxic shame, and what healthy shame is.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
And with all the vitriol online and.
Speaker 3 (12:35):
Hate that's been thrown at me, if I were to
take that on as my own, I don't even know
how I would survive.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
Do you hold the cast responsible or do you think
they're just doing their jobs to make money?
Speaker 3 (12:50):
That's a really good question. I think they're doing their
jobs to make money. The Girl's trip in Vegas was
really traumatic for me. Obviously, drinking a lot to numb
my anxiety and awkwardness that I felt around these girls
that haven't had the.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
Best history with me.
Speaker 3 (13:15):
And the following day, Lala and Christina Kelly came into
my hotel room and they were like, oh my god, Requel,
that was amazing last night. You like Reality TV rating goals.
You killed it, like so funny. I can't believe you,
(13:36):
Like you're sough, like you did it, You're the best.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
And then as soon as cameras were on, it.
Speaker 3 (13:42):
Was like, Raquel, how could you? I can't believe what
you said last night. Oh and so that was already
in mind fuck and I know that they're doing their job,
and their job is to make ratings, to create something
that people will be engaged with, and.
Speaker 2 (14:05):
It's it's sick.
Speaker 1 (14:08):
Before I get and I want to just finish up
with your future. But do you need do we need
to discuss this dog? Is this thing? Is this dog
thing something that's relevant because it's a big question for people.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
Did we already talk about it or no?
Speaker 1 (14:21):
No, just a dog? And then we're don to tumans.
I don't want to burn you out. OK.
Speaker 3 (14:24):
Yeah, so just really quickly, there's a lot more to
the story. But Graham, my gosh, he has a history
of aggression, and he's betten me really hard.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
He's betten other people.
Speaker 3 (14:39):
I already was considering getting a foster family while going
into the meadows and trying it out. But my dog
Graham bit my mom. My dog Graham bit my mom's
hand down to the bone, and it was so bad
she couldn't even get stitches. And I had the decision
(15:01):
to either leave the meadows and go back and take
care of my dog, or try to get him rehomed
and finish out my treatment because I knew I had
more to work on. So I chose myself and we
researched a breed specific dog rescue and they took him in.
(15:23):
Besides his biting behavior and bottom line, he couldn't get rehomed.
They reached out to Lisa vander Pump to ask for
a donation after they scanned his microchip and saw that
he was my dog. It was supposed to be a confidential,
(15:46):
you know, anonymous, yeah, because it's nobody else's business.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
Right, And it happened. Andy had a dog that was
aggressive with the baby, you know, and he was worried,
so he had to give the dog away. It things
to happened with dogs.
Speaker 3 (15:58):
Yeah, And there's a reason why I didn't want James
to have Graham. He is, he doesn't have dog experience,
and he's part of the reason why Graham is a bier.
James would encourage Graham to bite his hands hard and
he liked that sensation, so of course that trained Graham
(16:21):
to be a bier. So to my surprise, people are like, oh,
my god, Graham's filming in Tahoe. And I thought it
was a joke at first, and my heart dropped to
my stomach and there was a picture of James walking Graham,
and I was like no. Immediately my mom called the
(16:44):
foster who was working with Graham, and she said, oh,
it's so lovely. Lisa adopted him, and we were like what.
It's just so sick that they're using Graham as a
part of this storyline. And to further this villain narrative.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
You died your dog off.
Speaker 3 (17:07):
Yes, so now the narrative is I dumped my dog
at a shelter and he was hours away being euthanized,
and that's not true.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
Oh okay, I got it. Okay, Wow, Jesus, you got
yourself into a whole ship storm. Jesus Okay, so what
are your regrets? Like, what do you what could what
would you do differently?
Speaker 2 (17:32):
I regret a lot.
Speaker 3 (17:34):
I would do everything differently if I had the chance
to go back. And I really just want to acknowledge
that a lot of people were believing in me, and
I feel like I was a disappointment to those people.
(18:00):
I know that there was a lot of trust that
was broken between friendships and betray all that happened, and
I look back at my actions and I'm disappointed in
myself as well. That is not the person that I
want to be. That I wasn't happy, I was really hurting.
(18:29):
I don't ever want to be in a place like
that again, and I will make sure that I don't
put myself in that position again. I think there is
a silver lining in the situation that I'm able to
learn about myself and give myself this forgiveness and hopefully
(18:53):
share with other people the knowledge that I've learned and
helped to in a perspective on all of these things
that have happened and that I've experienced, and if somebody
is going through a similar situation, that there's still hope.
Speaker 1 (19:16):
That's powerful.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
Honestly, it.
Speaker 1 (19:19):
Was all for something it was not for not. I mean,
it was a rough journey, but it got you to
an awakening. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
Well I needed to get caught.
Speaker 3 (19:31):
I needed to because it would have just continued and
that's not who I want to be. This was the
biggest wake up call for me.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
Yeah, you hit rock attom beyond. Yes. So would you
ever go back to reality television?
Speaker 2 (19:47):
Oh? Hell no, never.
Speaker 3 (19:49):
No, because I refuse to not respect myself on that
level where I would endure that emotional abuse any longer.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
And I can't do that to myself.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
That's a big statement because it's very tempting. Fame is tempting,
money is tempting, Chasing the dragon is tempting. That's a
very big statement, you know, because I would have bet
that you would have gone back. And I'm actually proud
of you. I don't even know you, but I'm proud
of you because it's not as easy you are in
the spotlight. You could go back and redeem yourself and
be famous. So you don't want that. And have they
asked you to come back?
Speaker 3 (20:25):
Yeah, of course, of course they want me back. And
I know that other people in the cast are more
important than I am, so I don't even think that
I would get a redemption ARC. To be honest, I
also know that I wouldn't be able to share all
of my story. Whatever I share gets condensed to five
minutes max. So I think, knowing that there's different options
(20:49):
for me and there's good that I can.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
Do, you turn this into something positive. Yeah, in considering
coming back, did you consider coming back at all?
Speaker 2 (21:01):
Yeah? I did.
Speaker 3 (21:02):
I asked for equal pay with Tom and Ariana and
for them to reimburse me for my treatment expenses.
Speaker 2 (21:12):
They refuse to pay me equally, and uh, you know, I.
Speaker 3 (21:19):
Was considering going back if I was going to be
paid equally because I feel like when you pay your employees,
it really shows how much you value them.
Speaker 2 (21:30):
In you know, the whole whatever it is.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
I get it. You feel like at least I took
a hit. But yeah, but wow, they are proud of
me for right. It's like this love of your because
you said in your statement that you look for love
and validation, and I've experienced that you want the network
to give you validation, right, which is crazy and I
get it, but I've been there where you want someone
to say, oh my god, look what we did, and
(21:56):
look at the ratings, and their their mo is to
not let talent know how well things have been going,
because then they would have to compensate them. So we
used to not even get the ratings until I demanded
we need to see the ratings, like because you're not
supposed to know you're doing so well.
Speaker 3 (22:10):
Right, But it's impossible to not know how well the
show is doing, right because I mean, it's everyone's talking
about it. It's everywhere. Scannabll is like this the most
sensationalized piece of pop culture that I've experienced.
Speaker 1 (22:28):
Yes, it's enormous, and the zeitgeist that's been massive, it
really has. So Yeah, it's been a cultural phenomenon. And
will you speak to anybody from the show? Do you
speak to anybody from the show? Or is that that's
the past and you want to move on.
Speaker 3 (22:41):
I have a no contact policy with every single cast member.
Speaker 1 (22:45):
Okay, wow, I know you have a no cast call rule,
but actually I did want to know this. I wanted
(23:06):
to know if you think that they feel that they
went too far the cast and if they are sorry.
Speaker 3 (23:14):
Laala has reached out to me on Instagram, saying that
she's willing to lend an ear and I don't know.
I just don't trust that person. I know she has
her own agenda. I'm sure she wants to create an
alliance with me so she can take down Randall for
(23:34):
being a narcissist, and that's her wholem.
Speaker 1 (23:39):
Has anyone asked you to come back because you'd be
good for the show, so good for business?
Speaker 2 (23:44):
Yeah, I've been asked back.
Speaker 3 (23:47):
The only reason why I reached out to Lisa is
because I told her my concerns about Graham being in
the care of James Kennedy and I.
Speaker 2 (24:01):
Got a phone call from her.
Speaker 3 (24:04):
I answered and explained that James isn't a fit dog parent,
and she just was talking about the potential scenes we
could film together. She was like, just come back for
one final interview. You can come to Villa Rosa, you
can apologize for leaving and disappearing. And she didn't ask
(24:30):
me how I was.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
She didn't ask me what I've been dealing with since
the last time she saw me at the reunion.
Speaker 3 (24:43):
And she almost got me back because I did want
to share my side of the story, like we talked about,
and there was this firelit beneath me because I was
angry that Graham was being used as a pawn in
all of it this and I really do feel like
he was bait to.
Speaker 2 (25:03):
Get me back.
Speaker 1 (25:05):
Oh okay, and you never get the last word on
reality TV? And did have any of the other cast
members asked you to come back?
Speaker 3 (25:16):
Tom has emailed me twice. Lala wanted me back, Yeah,
Lisa wanted me back.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:26):
Does that feel confusing when everyone said we thought she
would get in a car and leave, never to be
seen again, you know, even Andy saying like she took
a beat down and she was, you know, mentally unwell,
et cetera. And then like, is it strange that the
same venue that would put you in that position? And
I'm saying you're taking accountability and you definitely contributed to it,
(25:48):
but that same place that may not be the best
space for you or save that you went into a
facility for three months of your life, was asking you
to come back. It's like when you were in the Union,
like hold on, come back after you just you know, we're.
Speaker 3 (26:04):
Yeah, Actually it makes complete sense because they have ulterior motives.
They don't care about my well being. They care about
their narrative that they need to portray on this show.
Speaker 1 (26:17):
Well, it's going to be a very interesting show and
season for them. It's going to be wild to see
and I'm sure they're going to have a real They're
going to have a real opinion about this conversation. Lady,
So this is the new you. I mean, you have
a new chapter ahead of you. And what do you
want to do now that you've grown up?
Speaker 3 (26:36):
I really am impassioned by learning about myself and the
psychology behind all of this, and I am taking the
steps to start my own podcast.
Speaker 1 (26:52):
Nice okay.
Speaker 3 (26:53):
I feel like it would be a great way to
share my side of the story and bring on experts
that really understand the psychology, like.
Speaker 1 (27:04):
A self help Yeah, so we should talk about it,
yeah okay.
Speaker 3 (27:07):
And I feel like, you know, this is an area
that's untapped because nobody really wants to talk about being
the other woman. And for as many people that are
hurt by this affair, there's equally as many people that
have been the other person.
Speaker 1 (27:25):
If you have, if you have, yeah, exactly, there are
that many affairs somebody's the mistress or the mister so.
And I think it's very remarkable that you want to
do a podcast and not just go dip back into
the garbage, like you'll talk about the garbage. I'm sure
you have a voice. We've been speaking for almost two hours.
And do you do you want to get married? Do
(27:48):
you want to have kids? Do you want to be
in a relationship?
Speaker 3 (27:50):
Like?
Speaker 1 (27:50):
Where are you in that area of your mind?
Speaker 3 (27:53):
I would love to have a healthy relationship, but right
now I am nurturing my houseplant and you know, still
healing myself so I can break this these patterns.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
That example, you want to break the chain and you
want to have a good relationship with yourself?
Speaker 2 (28:11):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (28:12):
First, yeah, So where will you be living? You're you're
at We're in Arizona now. I flew to come see you,
which is there's no precedent for that. I have not
done that. I really was feeling for you and not
wanting to travel, and I thought, let me really have
compassion and come to where you are so you feel safe,
because I know that it was hard for you to
talk to anyone, and I was worried that you might
(28:35):
get cold feed. You know, you came in very strong
and very confident today and very together, which I didn't
know if you'd be fragile or a mess or so
where will you be going from Arizona.
Speaker 3 (28:49):
I'm going to be traveling around. I'm not headed back
to LA anytime soon, so I have some plans to
check out different states in different areas.
Speaker 2 (29:02):
Oh nice.
Speaker 3 (29:03):
So it's unwritten at this point, but I'm excited to start.
Speaker 2 (29:09):
This new chapter.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
You have a new journey literal and figurative. Well, if
you want to come visit me in the Hamptons, I'm
right near the beach. So okay. So I just want
to say thank you for trusting me. I mean, I
give you a lot of credit for really staying quiet.
It's very difficult to do that because you want to
get your thought out, your word at you want to
correct everything that's wrong, and you took months to really
(29:34):
just allow for it all to settle. And when you
don't know what to do, sit still, and you did
sit still, and now you got you know, is there
anything we didn't cover? Were you able to get your
entire story and your whole voice out today?
Speaker 3 (29:46):
I think that whatever we didn't get too, which there's
so much that goes on behind the scenes and what
happens internally, even that, save it for.
Speaker 2 (30:00):
Your podcast exactly we'll get there.
Speaker 1 (30:02):
Save it for your pocket okay, well, thank you so much.
So I saw that there was a pill bottle thrown
at the reunion, like made light of. Somebody said, you
want a XENX, I have a xanax, and that was
sort of made light of. And I sometimes think about
that this is effectively it's a non traditional workplace, but
I would imagine there are even some workplace rules in
a strip club, like it is still a workplace. And
(00:33):
I thought, a pill bottle is being thrown. Wow, okay,
And then I thought about I read something where they
said that I read that Andy said to I think
variety that he thought that you were medicated, that you
were insinuating that you were on prescription drugs. So how
(00:54):
did that.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
Make you feel? I mean, I am medicated.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
I've been on antidepressants for several years now, and it
makes sense looking back, probably around the time that I
started filming vander pump roles. But to say that I
must be met, to say that I must be heavily
(01:22):
medicated because my behavior was erratic or I didn't have emotions,
is not okay in my eyes. I feel like that
violates some sort of hip a law, and to make
assumptions like that, it's damaging to a person.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
An employer cannot say that a person that works for
them is medicated. I mean, I know that that's a
private piece of information, whether it was true or not
or speculation. I just don't know where the line is.
That's what I'm kind of that reunion, And this is
why people are saying to me, why are you doing this?
Why you bite in the hand that feeds you. I'm
(02:07):
the shining golden child that got out and made the money.
Why am I they They would have had me back
at any time to make millions of dollars to be
on these shows. Something about this jumped off the page
to me, like this is where the line is crossed.
And the fact that the viewers digested what was said
to you that I just read. I don't think they
really realized what they were digesting because it's become the
norm now. I just think that the viewers just like
(02:29):
in some hazy world where they think this is like real,
but you're kind of these like circus character, You're like
these characters animals in a zoo that they don't really
understand that you're a person and that that was said
to you, and that like it's just like flippant talk
about the medication. So after the reunion, Andy said, she
took it on the She took it all on the chin,
(02:50):
like a champ. She just sat there and took it.
I didn't know that she would be able to, which
is probably why I hypothesized. I didn't know how long
Rachel or Raquel would last on set. Given my years
of experience in these forms, I would have thought that
she would have walked off way sooner and maybe walked
into her car, never to be seen again.
Speaker 3 (03:14):
So that's ending that you say that just because I
did walk off stage and then he summoned me back.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
That's what I'm saying. This is what I'm okay. So
this is why it feels you're abused and you're told
to fuck you with the cheese grater and forty other
things and then hold on, come back. It's like you
just abused by people, but we want you to come
back for more. And then, what I don't understand is
I didn't know how long she would last on set,
and I would have thought she'd walk off and then
(03:44):
and went into the reunion. He said, he went into
the reunion worried for your mental health, and he said,
I saw how unemotional she was, and it made me
think like she was either really medicated, so it almost
sounds like he was worried going in. I wondered, did
anyone advocate for you to have like a mental health
advocate on set or someone to protect you.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
Or going into the reunion.
Speaker 3 (04:07):
It was promised to me that I would have a
mental health advocate in my trailer as I watched the
first two parts of the reunion and then behind the
scenes just in case for my mental well being, and
that was taken away from me Jesus the night before,
(04:30):
like the day before the reunion, and I think it
was a punishment because I did this, Like this paparazzi
guy found me waiting to get my nails done on
the sidewalk of the street and I felt awkward being
inside there and I asked some of his questions.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
They were very basic.
Speaker 3 (04:53):
I didn't give away anything that the reunion was going
to touch on, and I think the network saw that
and was, I don't know, angry, disappointed and punished me.
Punished me by taking away my mental health advocate.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Okay, okay.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
Oh. And then there's one more thing regarding the Hippa situation.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
There was a.
Speaker 3 (05:24):
So it got out that I was at the Meadows
for mental health treatment, and sorry, one of my peers
who recognized me when I came into the Meadows was like,
(05:48):
oh my gosh, Raquel, like what are you doing here?
And she was in for that duration of time, so
she didn't know anything about the scandal, but she watched
the show, and so I feel her in on the
situation and the things that led me up to coming
to get treatment. And that was my first week and
(06:08):
her last week. That same day she left, there was
news that I was at this place called the Meadows
getting mental health treatment, and that was a violation of
my privacy. And then you know, it got picked up.
(06:29):
But then there was conversations of oh, Rackulla isn't getting treatment.
She's at a spa, she's at Miravlle and.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
You said that castmates or yeah in the press.
Speaker 3 (06:41):
Insiders, people who know for a fact, And so that
whole narrative was being pumped out there that I'm at
a spa, and I had my team like contact them saying, look,
you guys know she's at the Meadows.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
We have the paperwork to confirm it.
Speaker 3 (07:00):
It will you dispel these rumors that she's at a
SPA and they refuse to do that to create keep
this narrative going.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
But being in a mental health facility and not getting
that cleared up, you wanted them to say she's getting
treatment not at a SPA, because yeah, wow, and why
wouldn't they.
Speaker 3 (07:19):
They wanted to keep this narrative going, like it was
more salacious for me to be at a SPA than
to be really reflecting all my actions.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
So did anyone from Bravo reach out to you post
reunion out of concern wanting to help you, wanting to
pay for your treatment or check in with you, or
even be worried that it would come down on them?
Like what was what were they what was the reaction,
what was what was their involvement? Or what did they do?
(07:49):
What have they done?
Speaker 2 (07:50):
No, there is no check in.
Speaker 3 (07:53):
From anybody to see if I was okay and just
to you know, like follow up. And unfortunately I asked
for my tuition, I guess to be covered for my
treatment and they refuse to pay for it. And we
(08:17):
have a I have a theory that is because if
they paid for it, they would admit to this liability.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
Yes, it's culpable if you pay then you're yes, Yeah, interesting. Wow,
So there has been all this going around people are
(08:46):
you know, speculating that you're part of this reality reckoning
And there have been just like whispers about you and
I very very subtle. But we've done a very good
job that no one knows we're here, which is wonderful
and thank you everyone. But have has Bravo been acting
differently towards you since your name is in the mix
and they're getting worried and they're getting legal letters and
there's been a lot of very public.
Speaker 3 (09:07):
Yeah, just a few days ago, somebody reached out from
the network and offered for security to be at my
house where I'm staying with my parents. And it's like,
it's a little too late. All of the death threats
were happening months ago, and you were aware of it
(09:27):
yet did absolutely nothing to protect anybody. And after those league,
after that legal letter went out, all of a sudden
they're offering services.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
So it's a little fishy.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Interesting. What's also interesting is that we watched what we've
just discussed as emotional abuse on the reunion, But what
happens with the public, what about the messages and what
has really what if people said to you. I've seen
merch sold cups with your names on, so explain that
world of hate.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 3 (10:05):
I think the most disturbing thing talking about the merch
is when I sent out that seasoned desist from my
litigator to all of the cast to not share the
video that.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
Was taken without my consent.
Speaker 3 (10:24):
La La decided to use that and be like, oh
my god, don't contact me directly contact my attorney Darryl
like send have your people send it to my people,
you dumb bitch, or whatever the hook her message was.
And then she started making these sweatshirts that said send
it to Daryl. And I guess she has made enough
(10:48):
for a down payment on her new house in Palm Springs. Wow,
the same house that she bought out from under the
rug because Brock was interested in buying that house.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
But it just happened so quickly.
Speaker 3 (11:01):
I don't know the details don't matter, but it's like
so many people are using this opportunity and this scandal
to monetize for their own benefit.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
And I'm left here.
Speaker 3 (11:14):
Broke, broke, and you know my name has been raped
through the cools. I don't have business opportunities. My brand
is shot mistress. Yeah, I'm that best.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
What kind of did you? Did you actually receive death
threats and online bullying?
Speaker 3 (11:34):
And yes, yes, my parents received them more than I did.
I shut off social media pretty early on, and thank
god I didn't have my phone while I was in treatment.
And you know, we got the FBI involved because these
(11:54):
things aren't okay, and I think people were seeing red
and they were just like.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
Overcome with these emotions.
Speaker 3 (12:03):
But not thinking that this is a situation that isn't
so black and white. And I'm really really happy that
I took the time to go to get treatment at
the Meadows because they did teach a lot about shame
and carried shame, toxic shame, and what healthy shame is.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
And with all the vitriol online and.
Speaker 3 (12:35):
Hate that's been thrown at me, if I were to
take that on as my own, I don't even know
how I would survive.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
Do you hold the cast responsible or do you think
they're just doing their jobs to make money?
Speaker 3 (12:50):
That's a really good question. I think they're doing their
jobs to make money. The Girl's trip in Vegas was
really traumatic for me. Obviously, drinking a lot to numb
my anxiety and awkwardness that I felt around these girls
that haven't had the.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
Best history with me.
Speaker 3 (13:15):
And the following day, Lala and Christina Kelly came into
my hotel room and they were like, oh my god, Requel,
that was amazing last night. You like Reality TV rating goals.
You killed it, like so funny. I can't believe you,
(13:36):
Like you're sough, like you did it, You're the best.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
And then as soon as cameras were on, it.
Speaker 3 (13:42):
Was like, Raquel, how could you? I can't believe what
you said last night. Oh and so that was already
in mind fuck and I know that they're doing their job,
and their job is to make ratings, to create something
that people will be engaged with, and.
Speaker 2 (14:05):
It's it's sick.
Speaker 1 (14:08):
Before I get and I want to just finish up
with your future. But do you need do we need
to discuss this dog? Is this thing? Is this dog
thing something that's relevant because it's a big question for people.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
Did we already talk about it or no?
Speaker 1 (14:21):
No, just a dog? And then we're don to tumans.
I don't want to burn you out. OK.
Speaker 3 (14:24):
Yeah, so just really quickly, there's a lot more to
the story. But Graham, my gosh, he has a history
of aggression, and he's betten me really hard.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
He's betten other people.
Speaker 3 (14:39):
I already was considering getting a foster family while going
into the meadows and trying it out. But my dog
Graham bit my mom. My dog Graham bit my mom's
hand down to the bone, and it was so bad
she couldn't even get stitches. And I had the decision
(15:01):
to either leave the meadows and go back and take
care of my dog, or try to get him rehomed
and finish out my treatment because I knew I had
more to work on. So I chose myself and we
researched a breed specific dog rescue and they took him in.
(15:23):
Besides his biting behavior and bottom line, he couldn't get rehomed.
They reached out to Lisa vander Pump to ask for
a donation after they scanned his microchip and saw that
he was my dog. It was supposed to be a confidential,
(15:46):
you know, anonymous, yeah, because it's nobody else's business.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
Right, And it happened. Andy had a dog that was
aggressive with the baby, you know, and he was worried,
so he had to give the dog away. It things
to happened with dogs.
Speaker 3 (15:58):
Yeah, And there's a reason why I didn't want James
to have Graham. He is, he doesn't have dog experience,
and he's part of the reason why Graham is a bier.
James would encourage Graham to bite his hands hard and
he liked that sensation, so of course that trained Graham
(16:21):
to be a bier. So to my surprise, people are like, oh,
my god, Graham's filming in Tahoe. And I thought it
was a joke at first, and my heart dropped to
my stomach and there was a picture of James walking Graham,
and I was like no. Immediately my mom called the
(16:44):
foster who was working with Graham, and she said, oh,
it's so lovely. Lisa adopted him, and we were like what.
It's just so sick that they're using Graham as a
part of this storyline. And to further this villain narrative.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
You died your dog off.
Speaker 3 (17:07):
Yes, so now the narrative is I dumped my dog
at a shelter and he was hours away being euthanized,
and that's not true.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
Oh okay, I got it. Okay, Wow, Jesus, you got
yourself into a whole ship storm. Jesus Okay, so what
are your regrets? Like, what do you what could what
would you do differently?
Speaker 2 (17:32):
I regret a lot.
Speaker 3 (17:34):
I would do everything differently if I had the chance
to go back. And I really just want to acknowledge
that a lot of people were believing in me, and
I feel like I was a disappointment to those people.
(18:00):
I know that there was a lot of trust that
was broken between friendships and betray all that happened, and
I look back at my actions and I'm disappointed in
myself as well. That is not the person that I
want to be. That I wasn't happy, I was really hurting.
(18:29):
I don't ever want to be in a place like
that again, and I will make sure that I don't
put myself in that position again. I think there is
a silver lining in the situation that I'm able to
learn about myself and give myself this forgiveness and hopefully
(18:53):
share with other people the knowledge that I've learned and
helped to in a perspective on all of these things
that have happened and that I've experienced, and if somebody
is going through a similar situation, that there's still hope.
Speaker 1 (19:16):
That's powerful.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
Honestly, it.
Speaker 1 (19:19):
Was all for something it was not for not. I mean,
it was a rough journey, but it got you to
an awakening. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
Well I needed to get caught.
Speaker 3 (19:31):
I needed to because it would have just continued and
that's not who I want to be. This was the
biggest wake up call for me.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
Yeah, you hit rock attom beyond. Yes. So would you
ever go back to reality television?
Speaker 2 (19:47):
Oh? Hell no, never.
Speaker 3 (19:49):
No, because I refuse to not respect myself on that
level where I would endure that emotional abuse any longer.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
And I can't do that to myself.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
That's a big statement because it's very tempting. Fame is tempting,
money is tempting, Chasing the dragon is tempting. That's a
very big statement, you know, because I would have bet
that you would have gone back. And I'm actually proud
of you. I don't even know you, but I'm proud
of you because it's not as easy you are in
the spotlight. You could go back and redeem yourself and
be famous. So you don't want that. And have they
asked you to come back?
Speaker 3 (20:25):
Yeah, of course, of course they want me back. And
I know that other people in the cast are more
important than I am, so I don't even think that
I would get a redemption ARC. To be honest, I
also know that I wouldn't be able to share all
of my story. Whatever I share gets condensed to five
minutes max. So I think, knowing that there's different options
(20:49):
for me and there's good that I can.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
Do, you turn this into something positive. Yeah, in considering
coming back, did you consider coming back at all?
Speaker 2 (21:01):
Yeah? I did.
Speaker 3 (21:02):
I asked for equal pay with Tom and Ariana and
for them to reimburse me for my treatment expenses.
Speaker 2 (21:12):
They refuse to pay me equally, and uh, you know, I.
Speaker 3 (21:19):
Was considering going back if I was going to be
paid equally because I feel like when you pay your employees,
it really shows how much you value them.
Speaker 2 (21:30):
In you know, the whole whatever it is.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
I get it. You feel like at least I took
a hit. But yeah, but wow, they are proud of
me for right. It's like this love of your because
you said in your statement that you look for love
and validation, and I've experienced that you want the network
to give you validation, right, which is crazy and I
get it, but I've been there where you want someone
to say, oh my god, look what we did, and
(21:56):
look at the ratings, and their their mo is to
not let talent know how well things have been going,
because then they would have to compensate them. So we
used to not even get the ratings until I demanded
we need to see the ratings, like because you're not
supposed to know you're doing so well.
Speaker 3 (22:10):
Right, But it's impossible to not know how well the
show is doing, right because I mean, it's everyone's talking
about it. It's everywhere. Scannabll is like this the most
sensationalized piece of pop culture that I've experienced.
Speaker 1 (22:28):
Yes, it's enormous, and the zeitgeist that's been massive, it
really has. So Yeah, it's been a cultural phenomenon. And
will you speak to anybody from the show? Do you
speak to anybody from the show? Or is that that's
the past and you want to move on.
Speaker 3 (22:41):
I have a no contact policy with every single cast member.
Speaker 1 (22:45):
Okay, wow, I know you have a no cast call rule,
but actually I did want to know this. I wanted
(23:06):
to know if you think that they feel that they
went too far the cast and if they are sorry.
Speaker 3 (23:14):
Laala has reached out to me on Instagram, saying that
she's willing to lend an ear and I don't know.
I just don't trust that person. I know she has
her own agenda. I'm sure she wants to create an
alliance with me so she can take down Randall for
(23:34):
being a narcissist, and that's her wholem.
Speaker 1 (23:39):
Has anyone asked you to come back because you'd be
good for the show, so good for business?
Speaker 2 (23:44):
Yeah, I've been asked back.
Speaker 3 (23:47):
The only reason why I reached out to Lisa is
because I told her my concerns about Graham being in
the care of James Kennedy and I.
Speaker 2 (24:01):
Got a phone call from her.
Speaker 3 (24:04):
I answered and explained that James isn't a fit dog parent,
and she just was talking about the potential scenes we
could film together. She was like, just come back for
one final interview. You can come to Villa Rosa, you
can apologize for leaving and disappearing. And she didn't ask
(24:30):
me how I was.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
She didn't ask me what I've been dealing with since
the last time she saw me at the reunion.
Speaker 3 (24:43):
And she almost got me back because I did want
to share my side of the story, like we talked about,
and there was this firelit beneath me because I was
angry that Graham was being used as a pawn in
all of it this and I really do feel like
he was bait to.
Speaker 2 (25:03):
Get me back.
Speaker 1 (25:05):
Oh okay, and you never get the last word on
reality TV? And did have any of the other cast
members asked you to come back?
Speaker 3 (25:16):
Tom has emailed me twice. Lala wanted me back, Yeah,
Lisa wanted me back.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:26):
Does that feel confusing when everyone said we thought she
would get in a car and leave, never to be
seen again, you know, even Andy saying like she took
a beat down and she was, you know, mentally unwell,
et cetera. And then like, is it strange that the
same venue that would put you in that position? And
I'm saying you're taking accountability and you definitely contributed to it,
(25:48):
but that same place that may not be the best
space for you or save that you went into a
facility for three months of your life, was asking you
to come back. It's like when you were in the Union,
like hold on, come back after you just you know, we're.
Speaker 3 (26:04):
Yeah, Actually it makes complete sense because they have ulterior motives.
They don't care about my well being. They care about
their narrative that they need to portray on this show.
Speaker 1 (26:17):
Well, it's going to be a very interesting show and
season for them. It's going to be wild to see
and I'm sure they're going to have a real They're
going to have a real opinion about this conversation. Lady,
So this is the new you. I mean, you have
a new chapter ahead of you. And what do you
want to do now that you've grown up?
Speaker 3 (26:36):
I really am impassioned by learning about myself and the
psychology behind all of this, and I am taking the
steps to start my own podcast.
Speaker 1 (26:52):
Nice okay.
Speaker 3 (26:53):
I feel like it would be a great way to
share my side of the story and bring on experts
that really understand the psychology, like.
Speaker 1 (27:04):
A self help Yeah, so we should talk about it,
yeah okay.
Speaker 3 (27:07):
And I feel like, you know, this is an area
that's untapped because nobody really wants to talk about being
the other woman. And for as many people that are
hurt by this affair, there's equally as many people that
have been the other person.
Speaker 1 (27:25):
If you have, if you have, yeah, exactly, there are
that many affairs somebody's the mistress or the mister so.
And I think it's very remarkable that you want to
do a podcast and not just go dip back into
the garbage, like you'll talk about the garbage. I'm sure
you have a voice. We've been speaking for almost two hours.
And do you do you want to get married? Do
(27:48):
you want to have kids? Do you want to be
in a relationship?
Speaker 3 (27:50):
Like?
Speaker 1 (27:50):
Where are you in that area of your mind?
Speaker 3 (27:53):
I would love to have a healthy relationship, but right
now I am nurturing my houseplant and you know, still
healing myself so I can break this these patterns.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
That example, you want to break the chain and you
want to have a good relationship with yourself?
Speaker 2 (28:11):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (28:12):
First, yeah, So where will you be living? You're you're
at We're in Arizona now. I flew to come see you,
which is there's no precedent for that. I have not
done that. I really was feeling for you and not
wanting to travel, and I thought, let me really have
compassion and come to where you are so you feel safe,
because I know that it was hard for you to
talk to anyone, and I was worried that you might
(28:35):
get cold feed. You know, you came in very strong
and very confident today and very together, which I didn't
know if you'd be fragile or a mess or so
where will you be going from Arizona.
Speaker 3 (28:49):
I'm going to be traveling around. I'm not headed back
to LA anytime soon, so I have some plans to
check out different states in different areas.
Speaker 2 (29:02):
Oh nice.
Speaker 3 (29:03):
So it's unwritten at this point, but I'm excited to start.
Speaker 2 (29:09):
This new chapter.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
You have a new journey literal and figurative. Well, if
you want to come visit me in the Hamptons, I'm
right near the beach. So okay. So I just want
to say thank you for trusting me. I mean, I
give you a lot of credit for really staying quiet.
It's very difficult to do that because you want to
get your thought out, your word at you want to
correct everything that's wrong, and you took months to really
(29:34):
just allow for it all to settle. And when you
don't know what to do, sit still, and you did
sit still, and now you got you know, is there
anything we didn't cover? Were you able to get your
entire story and your whole voice out today?
Speaker 3 (29:46):
I think that whatever we didn't get too, which there's
so much that goes on behind the scenes and what
happens internally, even that, save it for.
Speaker 2 (30:00):
Your podcast exactly we'll get there.
Speaker 1 (30:02):
Save it for your pocket okay, well, thank you so much.
Host
Bethenny Frankel
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