May 28, 2021 • 47 mins
Come fly on the back of a giant salmon with us! Kyle Kinane and Kesha ask the important questions like - is Big Foot actually an advanced time traveling human being? Are dreams just the thought goulash of your day? Join Kyle and Kesha as they answer these extensional questions and more!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Dreams are the you know, the goulash. Dreams are just
like the chili that you make with your leftover thoughts
of the day. It's a little bit of I went
to grocery store. It's a little bit I talked to
my mom and and then it just goes into the
pot and that's the stew of in your subconscious I
always would get scared when I had like regular dreams.
I got a dream that I just brushed my teeth
(00:21):
and I woke up and I'm like, oh, welcome to
cash in the Creepies. Today we have Kyle Canine. Thank
(00:43):
you for coming on cash and the creepies. You bet
cash that thanks for having me about them creepies. Yeah,
I love Creepy Ship. And through the grape vine, I've
heard you also love Creepy Ship. I'm a big fan.
Got a big old poster of Bigfoot movie in the
background here and some other weird oddities. Bigfoot's one I
(01:03):
never have like fully gotten into is that are you
a believer in Bigfoot? Well? I think all my all
my beliefs stem from like a real why not, why
not let the world be a little bit more interesting
with oddities? Like maybe I don't know. The woods they're
pretty big. It's true. I mean, I want to believe
(01:27):
in a Bigfoot. I just have never seen super compelling.
Every time I see something, it's like so bad that
I just need one thing that's like, this is pretty compelling.
Here's a weird like I believe in the Luckness Monster,
but like Bigfoot, I don't know. I just haven't seen.
If you know of a documentary or a picture, send
(01:48):
it to me, because I want to believe in Bigfoot,
yet I don't know what it is like. The Bigfoot
hunters can always like get somebody with a helicopter and
an infrared camera, but then anytime they do see them,
they're like a flip on from two thousand one. That's
what I'm saying. I've never seen a good picture of Bigfoot.
Here's I'll throw this one at you. Bigfoot is a
time traveler. He's got portals in the woods. Nobody can
(02:11):
catch him because he just travels to another dimension. That's
when I've heard. I love that. See I can totally
get behind that big Foot. What a Bigfoot's from the
future already, and he's not an ape, he's a he's
an advanced human being. Who doesn't even need clothes or
anything anymore. Like all he's all bio mechanical inside, he's
got all all his uh, he's got psychic abilities. You
(02:34):
can throw anything you want a bigfoot. I love this
because that's how I feel about aliens. So I can
just transfer it over to a hairy man in the woods,
which is also one of my favorite things, are harryman
that are in the woods. So I'm like, I can
get on board now, thank you for that. I do
live in Oregon. I'm just letting you know. I'm just
telling you that now. So I was just in Seattle.
(02:57):
It's just in Seattle at this like San Juan Island.
Have you been there. I haven't been to the San
Juan Islands, but I know of them. Oh my god.
I was just like kayaking with orcas and frolicking with
baby foxes. It's so magical up there right now. Any
any weird vibes out there? There were weird vibes in that, Like,
(03:22):
you know, yeah, I get a little bit of a
weird vibe, but I kind of chased the weird vibe,
like I love a weird vibe. Anything that gives me
like a normal vibe I find to be really boring.
So me and my best friend were just like, we
got this thing called a coot scoot. We were cute
scooting around and getting naked and like jumping in the ocean,
and then we found this like hobbit house. I was.
(03:44):
I was out in the desert a few weeks ago,
letting a letting the stars make up new constellations for themselves.
Uh so I get it. I'm not gonna I'm not
gonna poopoo. I would like a clarification of what a
coot scoot is. Okay, So coot scoot is a two
person scooter. Because I didn't want to go on a
one person scooter because I'm codependent. So I made us
(04:04):
get a two person scooter. And it's really not very cool.
There's a flag on the back. It's bright red. It's
like screams like we are tourists, we are losers. But
it was so fun. Yeah, I a two person scooter.
You know, by the end of this, of all of
(04:25):
all the mystical things we're gonna talk about, I think
I want to convince you to just get a scooter
for yourself and enjoy the freedom that that allows. That's
that's I think the goal here. Do you believe in
the supernatural? I do. I struggle with the proof that's
presented most of the time, much like you are with Bigfoot.
(04:46):
I think that I hit. I kind of had to
stop reading about it because I kept I was reading
myself out of believing it. And it doesn't hurt and
it's not hurting anybody if I want to just sit
and I have my own theories about all of it,
about aliens, I think, and it was supernatural. I think
that you know, we consist of you know, electrical energy,
(05:10):
and these so energy cannot be destroy Yeah, it's only transferred. Now.
I know a lot of people say that that's the
when when you decompose, it's the critters that eat you,
and that where the energy goes. But what about like
there's electrical synapses in your mind. And I feel like
that maybe if if someone has taken in an abrupt manner,
(05:36):
that that elect that electrical energy has to manifest itself somewhere,
not as like you know, let's see a woman with
a gown coming down the stairs, but just as you know,
it's a little extra flash of the lights in your
house or something like that that I think it does
go somewhere in a scientific sense, you do. I've had
(05:57):
all sorts of people on this podcast, but it's people
that scene weird ship and then also people that can
explain it in a way that I can't with science backing,
because I always love hearing how certain things are possible
backed by science. Big fan of science. Science. But so
you believe in ghosts, Well, here's one of the things
that I read that bummed me out is that a
(06:18):
lot of times people seeing apparitions they've actually figured out,
like when it's in larger buildings, hotels and such, that
the air conditioning, large air conditioning units can create a
frequency that actually will vibrate your eyes to a point
where that's where you think you're seeing something. And I
(06:39):
felt like people I see goes this like ghosts in
these types of buildings, like, oh, it's because these these
high volume air conditioners, well, like create a frequency that
resonates with I'm like, well, that's even scarier knowing that
my eyes can jiggle without me knowing it. Like that's
terrifying in its own right for sure. And then just
like see people that aren't there, that's the that's the thing,
(07:03):
Like like I'm seeing a figure or anything. I Um,
I have not sleep paralysis, And once I read about sleeper,
I'm like, oh, that explains so many things that happens
because sleep paralysis I don't know if you've ever explain
Can you explain it? What it is exactly? Oh? Yeah,
(07:24):
it sucks real bad. Quick. It's it's like it's the
opposite of sleepwalking. Like sleepwalking, your mind's asleep, but your
body is awake. Sleep paralysis is your bodies asleep, but
your mind's in between dreaming and being conscious. So you
(07:49):
can't if I'm falling asleep, well no, if I'm falling asleep,
I know where I'm at. I'm in my bed, there's
my glass of water, there's my clock, you know, my
phone's plugged in a were there, and also there's a
ten ft tall shadow person in the corner and it's
just as real as all these other things, because I
think I'm still awake, and then you're like, well, that's scary,
(08:12):
maybe I should move and get out of here, and
then you can't move your body, so that sucks real bad.
And it's uh what I've heard of. Now that I
know that it's happening, I kind of try to control,
because if you can control that, that's where people get
into lucid dreaming. And I've so I you've heard alucid
(08:34):
dreaming right where you could basically control your dreams, and
that's where the sleep paralysis is. Your kind of opening
the door that possibility. But it's real hard to get
through because once you realize, oh I'm dreaming, cool, I
wake up because once I address the reality of it,
I wake up, come out of it. What about the
shadow person? Who's the person? Oh, it's it's the it's
(09:00):
usually now that I know that it's happening, I get
myself out of that situation because I like being I
like being scared, like haunted houses everything, but that's too real,
and then it wakes me up. I can't fall asleep afterwards.
But it's like it's a lot of times you'll see
in history, like old drawings of like a demon sitting
on somebody's chest, or a demon sitting at the end
of the bed, and it's always an ominous figure. I
(09:22):
can't only make out features, but it's just as real
as all the other elements in my room. That's what
it's like when you're in a dream. Like, well, there's
a demon, but also I'm flying on the back of
a giant salmon and you know, like drink dream dream
ships going on. But it was like, no, I just
went to bed. I just got my bed ten minutes ago.
I know where I am. Why is that in my room? Horrifying?
(09:45):
It's something I can control it. So when I'm in
a dream and it's scary, because I have a scary
dreams a lot, but I'm usually like, I know it's
a dream, I'll pinch myself in the dream and try
to wake myself out a special only because one time
I convinced myself this isn't the same as yours. Yours
sounds really scary. But I convinced myself that I had
(10:07):
walked over to the toilet and I could pee, and
I was sleeping on my mom's couch and I just
peeed all over her couch. And ever since then, I
was like, I need to figure something out, so maybe
try this. I pinched myself in my dreams to see
if I'm really awake, and then if I'm not feeling
the pinch, then like, don't pee, You're asleep. Your brain
(10:28):
is tricking you. Don't well at least you've got that
part under control. That's all I have under control in
my life. I don't I don't pee in my dreams,
So I got that going for me. Well, you know,
there's the one that I think I learned it from
watching that movie Waking Life. You ever see that? Oh
my god? Yeah? In high school though, yeah, yeah, well
(10:51):
also a long time. But the fact that, like, you
can't read or turn lights on and off in a dream.
And I just had to dream last night there was
something where I was dealing with somebody, like they almost
hit me with their car or something. So I was like, well,
I'm gonna get this license plate. And I remember specifically
going up to the license plate and realizing it wasn't
(11:12):
a letter and that the letters were painted over, and
I was like, oh, I'm in a dream. I can't
read this license plate. I would feel so relieved. I
always feel relieved when I know I'm asleep, because it's
usually the dreams I remember usually really fucked up. I
don't know if the same for you, Like you said
you just got hit in the car or something. Yeah,
but that's my problem with like dreams are always fucked up,
(11:34):
because that's what dreams. Dreams are the you know, the ghoulash.
Dreams are just like the chili that you make with
your leftover thoughts of the day. It's a little bit
of I went to grocery store. It's a little bit
I talked to my mom and so, and then it
just goes into the pot and that's the stew of
in your subconscious. I always would get scared when I
had like regular dreams. I got a dream that I
(11:56):
just brushed my teeth and I woke up, and I'm like,
oh God, that scares me more, because either that means
my subconscious is so filled with crazy, scary shit that
even my my being is like, don't give him that.
That's too much, that's he can't handle that. Or I'm
just that boring of a person. And even when my
brain can go wild, it's like I've given the toothbrush
(12:18):
dream again. That scares me more. If I had a dream,
I'd be more scared than I'm like, Oh no, am
I just really boring? Yeah, I'm not creative. I'm an artist.
Even my dreams are dumb drag No. I have like
nightmares solidly, like every single night, so it's not fun
to sleep paralysis. Thank god. I've never had like we
(12:41):
were talking about, where you can't move. But I do
scream in my sleep and throw punches when I'm sleeping.
My buddy does that too, Like we'll fight in his sleep. Yeah. Yeah,
have you hit anybody? Oh ah? And I like kick
(13:01):
my feet. I'm just like ready to fight in my dreams.
I'm just like you have. You had to explain it, yeah,
next day like, oh no, no, I wasn't. I was sleeping. Yeah,
you're cool. I was just asleep, Especially when you're like dating,
(13:23):
dating and throwing punches in your sleep. Not a cute combo,
but I just like, like you said, it's kind of
like a mishmash of everything that's going on in my brain,
and I guess in my sleep, I just really want
to punch somebody. So that's what's happening. If you get
nightmares every night, i'd say, maybe like almost every night,
(13:44):
do you just go to bed like all right, here
we go? Yeah? Uh, like you accept it totally. I'll
like meditate and be like, okay, kitties, we're gonna go
to this scary place where your mom's gonna throw a punch.
Just just watch out, like that's every night. It's kind
of sucked up, like I really hate like I love sleeping,
(14:05):
but I also hate the process of going to sleep
because I know there's scary ship waiting for me on
the other side. That's the I would get that with
the sleep paralysis, because I'd lay there drifting off to
sleep and then just oh cool, demons back. Know how
often does this happen? We have to figure something out.
This is not okay, not often anymore, because I know,
(14:28):
like if I even get the sense of it, I
know I need to move my body because that's the
paralysis part. It's like all I need to do to
get this demon to go away is move my body.
And then you can't move. So I'm awake. I know
I'm in my room, but I'm paralyzed and there's a
thing over there. But if have you tried, have you
(14:49):
messed around like with Valerian root or melotonin done all
those kind of melotonin gives me worse dreams and Valirian
I have tried that. I'm not sure if it does
any thing. Do you think it helps? It calms me down,
puts my dumb ideas to rest for them, Like I'm
going to try it. This past year has been a
(15:09):
little slower on the craziness a little. I liked. I
liked it. I like just I feel bad that I've
enjoyed quarantine. Um don't you usually tour? Yeah, that part
I missed, but I was getting more. I I like.
(15:29):
I appreciated the force, like slow down, appreciate the things
in your life, appreciate the people in your life. I
appreciated the time to appreciate all the things in my
life that have kind of gone accidentally underappreciated, and like
the flowers in my yard I noticed and talk to
and things like that where I do actually get to
slow down. So I appreciate that. But I also recognize
(15:53):
it's been a hell of a year and almost a half.
But there are parts that I think have been really
helpful for me. Like it's been nice to be able
to talk to people like you, just I could to
sit down and have a conversation. Before this, I hadn't
taken a shower or been able to take a piss
(16:15):
without somebody being like, you have to be on a
phone call, You're so busy, you gotta go on stage.
So it's nice to like be a person I had
like a joke with somebody. I had like three things
to do in one day last week. I'm like, what
am I a CEO? I don't know how to do this.
I never want to work again. Yeah, I don't want
to go back to all this stuff like this. I'm
(16:38):
good with this. I take walks. I smile at dogs.
I never look at the people. I always smile at
the dogs. I look like an extra psycho, Like I
forget that I look like how I look And I'm
just walking around waving at animals and ships. Oh my god,
that's fine. Now I'm in the now, I'm in the
suburbs and people are like looking at me through their
blinds and like, oh, I get it. Yeah I look
Oh crawled out of the ground. Love that. I love
(17:01):
your look. Just for the record, I have I love
a beard, always have, always well one, Yeah, I love it.
Um so I think you look excellent. But side note,
did you know that John Wayne Gacy committed his murders
thirty minutes away from where you're from? Uh? Yeah, that
(17:22):
was the big joke because he was also a contractor.
So it's always like, oh, they're gonna come tear up
your driveway looking for kids. Oh my god, I'm like,
I mean, I'm laughing at it because that was the
joke that I would always serve like barbecues and everything
like my dad's and uncles would like make jokes about.
So yeah, there was we had John Wayne Gacy. I mean, listen,
(17:44):
we're no Wisconsin, alright. Wisconsin has just well it's got
beer and the friendliest regular just beer drinking folks and
then real real psychos, and I don't know what the
split is. Like part of me, I was trying to
(18:05):
make jokes about how if you live in a city,
especially an apartment, like you're forced to know your neighbors.
So there's assholes, but there's not as many psychos because
like I got shared walls, like I know, if you're
doing some nefarious stuff. Now I'm in the suburbs with
distance between people, and there's way more weirdness happening in
(18:25):
the suburbs than people realize. I used to deliver pizzas
and you encounter way weirder characters in the suburbs. It's
always like, well the guy had like nine people caged up,
not an apartment in a basement in the suburbs, because
you can have a basement in the suburbs. He had thirty,
(18:46):
like thirty bodies or or eight of them are under
the house, all the bodies. And I'm wondering, because you
live in the suburbs, could you, like, couldn't you smell
that from next door? I think enough for breeze And uh,
(19:06):
doesn't anybody know this? Like why do you all straight
men think for breeze does something good. All it does
is smell like poop and fa breeze or like cat
shit and fabreeze. It's so disgusting. Well, okay, so I
was always a sucker for a little fa breeze and
a little incense because I figured those two things against
(19:29):
fixes stuff. It just makes it stayed our works. But
a window, well all right, so for breeze doesn't work
because you're trying to keep a bunch of bodies in
the basement outside of the lime and whatever else they use.
Don't use for a serial killers, listen to this, don't
use fabreeze. It just thinks more bregnrant corpses. But I
(19:52):
love That's why I love delivering pizzas because like any
kind of weirdo just opened their door. I don't know
why delivering pizza sounds like a scary job. Maybe I
was watching movies or something. Tell me the weirdest ship
you saw delivering pizzas. I want to know. It was
usually like just getting invited in to do drugs with people.
(20:14):
People love getting the pizza dude, like getting him a
beer or getting them stoned because the pizza guy and people. Yeah,
I was always appreciative of that kind of generosity. It
was always weird when I was like with a family though,
when like I remember I went to one house. We
would go to this apartment complex and this is a
bit grotesque. There was this was like it was a
(20:36):
bad apartment complex. And I don't think like Dominoes or
Pizza Hut would deliver there because of insurance reasons, because
that's how bad it was. So I just worked for
my friend. He's like, oh, cool man, we got add
percent of the business over at this apartment. We'd go
there and it was a place where you're like, oh,
I gotta put all my money in different pockets, so
if I get robbed, I just go to one pocket
(20:58):
and give him that money. You gotta split up your money.
My buddy got robbed and they took the pizza I
think he offered. He's he's like, you want the pizza too,
and they're like, oh, okay, yeah, I'm sure. You know
that gets your adrenaline going. You get hungry after a robbery.
But I delivered to this family. It was like a
mom and teenagers don't be like a little kid. And
I get halfway down the staircase, I just hear, hey, pizza, man,
(21:20):
you want to smoke some killer doge. And I was like, well,
I'm sure, and I just he let me in and
then he goes hold I gave me a bowl and
he goes hold on, and the mom just took the
Pizza's mom and little kids just eating the pizza in
the dining room, like how's it going? Like, Hi, I'm
starting to feel a little bad about this environment, mostly
(21:42):
for the kid, like you should. And I just hear
all his glass break in the back room where this
kid had gone to his teenager. He just just hear fuck.
He comes out. He's like, I like a five ft
graphics I was gonna have you hit man. I just
busted it. So I was the reason this guy hoocus
five ft graphics ball. But then he's like, I'm real sorry,
(22:04):
man and he just left me. I just sat on
their couch smoking a bowl watching TV. They just eight
pizza in the other room. Oh my god, let's get
into aliens. I'm going, I can. I'm happy to go
to but I want you to go first because I'm
just curious. I know what I think? All right, Um,
(22:26):
here's my thought on aliens. Uh. That one, It's that
it's future humans coming back to see you know. Maybe
it's like it's tourism, you know, it's time travel tourism. Possibly.
Why do we constantly look at aliens to be of
a Why do they all have to be like a
(22:47):
human form or somewhat We're always expecting them to be like, oh,
we's still got a head and eyes, wears like a
shiny jacket or something like why why can't aliens be
my grow organisms that are coming to Earth? They could be?
I mean, Alice Cooper thinks that COVID is an alien
(23:09):
kind of blew my mind. Did he just say that
and just was like pieced out on yet or did
he have like an explanation. He kind of explained a
little bit, but he was just like, did you ever
think that maybe COVID's an alien? And I was like, no,
I I didn't. Should we call somebody. It's like, I
don't know octopuses. Look at octopus? Oh my god. I
(23:31):
love Okay, there genius, and we should not eat them.
Personal stance. I also think it's weird and it's usually
a pig butt hole, but I love and they're so
smart and magical. I really don't think we should be
eating them. There's like, yeah, I stopped because I found
(23:56):
out they can like open jars from the inside and escape,
and then like they're too smart. I already stopped eating
all the land meat. A little taste gets in there
maybe once or twice a year, but I stopped eating
land meat, and I'm like, all right, what is fish?
And I started learning about different seafood and I learned
about I love kylamari, but then if it's a pig
(24:19):
butt holes, I can't have that because well, what did
they say they're about scallops that it's just like a
manta ray that they put a cookie cutter. Oh my god,
that's so depressing, really, but maybe the manta ray is
that maybe they let it live and it's just more aerodynamically.
Oh my god. Well, I don't eat those either either
of the above. So I'm good. But yeah, no, I
(24:42):
don't think we should be eating things that look like
the way those things look like. I won't eat an
ugly creature like I would. Here's the thing. You won't
eat ugly stuff. No, just cute stuff, what like baby
horses and things that's only adorable, you know what. I
went by like, I was like. I was like, if
(25:05):
I can't kill the animal, yeah, like I went I
went hunting to find out how like could I do?
It's so interesting? And I say, I shot the birds
the sky and then we ate the birds. But I
had to sit. I was pulling the feathers out and everything,
and I was like, well, I don't feel great about this.
(25:27):
I'm going to eat it. But then I think about
how nonchalantly I would eat other things chicken or beef
or anything, how casually. I'm like, well, if I don't
think I could kill it, then maybe I shouldn't eat
my philosophy too. There is flounders. Everyone out there's listening,
(25:47):
which we maybe have lost some people at this point.
If you're listening, google what a flounder's face looks like
and tell me if you want to eat that because
I don't. It's better to eat the ugly things. You're
putting them out of their misery. That's I'll eat. I
eat what's the one that swims upstream? Salmon go upstream? Yeah,
(26:11):
like that just sounds dumb to me, So I'll eat
them because they seem dumb. They're cute. Well, like you still,
you've got all these years of evolution and what it's
done for all these other creatures you live. You can
look at an octopus. You live in the same home
as an octopus in the sea, and you could look
at an octopus and go like, look, look what you're
(26:32):
doing with this environment. Meanwhile, I gotta go back upstream
to get laid. I gotta go against the force of
a river so I can bone down in the place
I was born and then die. I think that's that's
a romantic I think we're writing a Pixar movie right now.
I think that's what we're doing. Right There's like one
fish that's like I got dreams, and the rest of
(26:55):
them like, you can't. You got to go up the river.
And I don't know if it's the male or the
female go up the river. I also think that aliens
could my mom thinks that they live in the ocean,
but they're like they take their ships and they're kind
of like humanoid creatures that live in the ocean. I
personally think that when you said that earlier, I always
(27:16):
have thought aliens are us in the future time travel.
Maybe it's a different dimension, Like they're definitely us evolved
um coming back. But then when you said that made
me think, like, are we just like zoo creatures here,
like and they're coming back? Yeah, the human zoo theory, Well,
(27:37):
I just wouldn't like people when people say they see it, well, yeah,
that the people are just coming by and going hoof,
look at that. One think about how many different um
universes and galaxies and exist, and how many possibilities for
a planet similar to Earth to start up on a
different timeline, to start millions of years ago but had
(28:01):
had oxygen and water and all the components that could
create a humanlike creature, and how many of like like
been developed and then died off, Like we could be
one of thousands of different Earth type planets millions and
we don't know. Yeah, So that's the Fermi paradox, is
(28:23):
the one of like, well, if there's intelligent life out there?
Why haven't we been visited by it? Like the possibility
seems obvious that something must have developed similar to ourselves
or simple an intelligent quote unquote intelligent uh type of being.
I have to put intelligence in quotes because I tripped
(28:44):
and fell into the cat's litter box last night. Including
I'm not including myself and the intelligent being thing here,
but you know what I'm saying collectively? Were you sleep? Um?
I was drunk, Kesha, So sam okaya your judgment. I
(29:04):
thought we weren't judging. I just want the full story
because I have four cats and one of my main
quarantine activities has been cleaning litter boxes, so we could
go to town on that topic. I am. The only
good news out of this is that it's a stray
cat that lives in the garage and does not use
the litter box at all, So I fell into a
(29:25):
clean one, a fresh litter box. Well did you have fun?
Is the main question? I think I did, But I
was more ashamed that I did that than normally. I
could laugh that stuff off. Just give it like a week.
I'm laughing about it because it's funny, Kesha. Can we
(29:46):
leave me falling in a litter box. Out of this
and get back to the front of paradox. Please we
get back to the scientific. Sorry shamed, I'm a little embarrassed. Okay, Okay,
go back. Ah it was I just had to sweep
(30:08):
it up before this. Um are you? Are you? Okay?
I'm very elastic with my drinking some coffee. I got
a Topo Chico bubble water over here. Be fine. You're
smashing that. You're smashing this conversation. This isn't my first
(30:29):
rodeo rodeo, I mean falling into a cat box. Um.
I think that there's a possibility that, yeah, we're visited
as a point of reference for other cultures that have
developed this ability to travel. I get upset when people
are like, oh, there, I saw the spaceship and then
(30:50):
I could see through the window there was creatures in it,
Like why why do we still think spaceships need windows?
Like oh, is the psychic being? But they still need
a win no, so they could find out how to land?
Like what what? I agree with you? There? Aliens could
be a strange sort of consciousness that exists, or a
(31:12):
microscopic element that travels and explores, you know, in a
that that that's all around us right now, and then
can all then travel as a a gas or a
cloud or something away into where they're from. So it's beautiful. Yeah,
the traditional definition of an alien I kind of get.
(31:36):
That's why I think they're If they're real and people
are seeing these figures that have two legs and two
arms and hands, and their eyes are just bigger, and
their brains inside their head are bigger, that's where I'm like, Oh,
that's where I feel it's this future human civilization. I
totally think so too. And when you said like they
come back, that like, blew my mind. I've never heard
(31:58):
the human zooth here is what you called it. Yeah,
that just that they would come back to either as
a tourist, as like a I mean, imagine if you
had the concept of time travel and you're or or
dimensional travel. Maybe they're coming here to see mistakes that
we're making. I was thinking that. I didn't want to
(32:20):
say it, but I was gonna say, like, maybe they're
coming back to be like WHOA, well that's sucked up.
They will sucked up. Why people that's the mix of
like why people think they see things around military basis.
Now you can just accredit that to like the military
working on some top secret stuff, or is it some
(32:40):
sort of warning from beings or elsewhere, like, hey, we're
not supposed to mess, you know, the back to the
future type of thing. You can't really mess with a timeline. Interesting,
but maybe they're like, hey, don't, maybe don't do that.
Maybe don't don't come up your weapons. Yeah, no shit,
(33:01):
I mean in my brain, no ship. But I did
see some weird thing in the desert. Have you ever
seen something that you thought was like alien or spaceship
or UFO anything like that with your own eyeballs? No,
And that's the one. I don't want to go looking
for it too much because I feel like the human,
(33:23):
the mind and the imagination can manifest things if you
want it bad enough. So I try to go like
I try to be like, all right, if you're out there,
let me let me see it. But that's like, okay,
that's how when I just was up near you in Seattle,
that's how I have to be. With animals. I'm obsessed with,
(33:43):
like critters. So there are these baby foxes and I
was like, okay, don't be thirsty, just like sit here
and like act like you don't care be cool, but
like you want it, so I'm putting it. I'm like manifesting,
like please come and like show yourself to me. But
I'm not being a thirsty bitch, like on your own time,
(34:03):
not being like good vibes, yeah, just really good vibes.
And then the last day almost missed the flight. Five
baby motherfucking boxes, scampering around, throwing a little dead bunny around,
having so much fun with like it's tail was the
cutest it I ever saw, so happy. So I do
feel that there's an idea of like energy or good
(34:26):
vibes that you could you could tell when you walk
into a room where people have just finished arguing room
that if people have just finished making out or something,
even if they're even if their faces aren't at you,
you can like, oh I can feel the energy in
this room. Yeah, yeah, vibe. So I feel like maybe
(34:51):
having the right vibe, not quite going into a psychic ability,
but like people that experienced ghosts, they just have an
openness and an ability like I don't. I don't necessarily
believe most people they're like, oh I can see ghosts,
and I talked to spirits, Like if you could really
talk to spirits. Spirits could communicate with you, your life
(35:13):
would be hell oh true. Imagine. I think there was
like it was like a Matt Damon movie or something
where he's like he was legit psyche and his because
people were just hunting him down because they wanted to
like give messages. Yeah, and so like, oh, you need
to contact this person. People are like, you know, the
(35:33):
death of a loved one is a devastating thing. Or
you would be weaponized by the military if you like
your psychic, the military is gonna kidnap you, just like
anybody who was like a hacker or something like, oh
you can hack into stuff, Well here's your options, prison
or you work for us. You know, like think I'm
(35:53):
psychic sometimes and then I'm usually just being paranoid or
have anxiety. But then some times that anxiety and paranoia
ends up being right. So then I'm like, is that
psychic or am I just like a catastrophist that thinks
of all the worst case scenarios you tell me, I
like catastrophist as a word. I haven't heard that one before,
(36:16):
and I dig that as a word. You can have it.
It's like a special kind of artist, like I like that. Yes,
I am a special kind of artist, like yeah, I
think that's another reason why I was saying like I
don't like to really I kind of like these are
(36:38):
my opinions. But if somebody goes to a psychic, they're
already they're already searching for something, so they're already putting
themselves in a vulnerable place. Yeah, you know, it's when
it's like I've gone to up haunted houses. I've gone
to and seeing like one time I was in one
place where like, oh, and this was the nursery that
the kids used to be in and if you speak
(37:00):
to the children, we put toys in here for them
to play with. And I saw it was Bobby Mackie's
music World. I don't know if you know about that place.
It's one of the places that claims to be what
is Where's that? It's on the border of Kentucky and
Ohio or Kentucky and Indiana. I think it's right outside
of Cincinnati, the one that's right on the river there.
(37:22):
I'm from Tennessee, I should know this. And I used
to go from Tennessee to Indiana all the time, which
is like creepy little route. Yeah. Well, this This is
like a like the river. It's like a it's like
an old honky tonk bar on the river. But it
used to be a brothel. It used to be this
bootlegging stop because it was on the river. And they
claim it's one of the most haunted places, and every
(37:44):
place is the most haunted place. What's it called? What's
it called? I want to go to this place? But
Bobby's Music World, Music World, and yeah, I went with
my sister. Yeah, we went to like we're like, all right,
we're gonna go take this road trip when we go
to haunted places, and so we went on the money.
It's still open on the weekends. I don't know about now,
but like it's a bar with live music and everything
(38:05):
and just you know, like a bar in Kentucky with
live music and open dance floor. Yeah, so I'm sure
on the weekends it's a pretty fun spot. But we
went on a Monday when this a woman would just
give tours of the haunted stuff. And so right away
we get there like, oh, we're doing a fun road trip.
And the woman she's that answers the door, she's like,
(38:26):
was there another couple there's supposed to be four people
are like, oh no, it's just us. We don't know
about the other couple, and we just so she goes,
all right, I don't like doing this with less than
five people. Like now I'm thinking she's trying to put
it on right. She was just like, I don't like
doing this without enough people because it's crazy, because because
it's scary. We're the only people in there. And so
(38:51):
she's getting this tour and this happened over there and
a guy got shot there and they see a ghost
over there and all stuff. But so it used to
be a brothel and it had a nursery for the
chill aldren of the working ladies to be looked after
in this area. And she's like, and if you kick
the ball, like like like a little toy balls and everything,
it'll roll back here. This is where the drain is.
That's the lowest point in the room. That's not like
(39:14):
a ghost thing. And so I tapped one of these
balls and it rolls around the floor and comes back
to where the drain is. But then it goes. It
wasn't going fast enough in my opinion, to be able
to go back up the other side, but it came
back up right two between my feet. That road past
the low point of the floor and then went uphill
(39:35):
back towards me. And then did it stop when it
hit your feet? It stopped? Yeah, I just came there
and stopped at my feet. And that was the one
time where I was like, oh, this got me scared. Now.
I wasn't in there, I didn't measure the floor. I
wasn't down there doing a golfer stare trying to see
what the angles were or anything. But me and my
(39:56):
sister looked at each other like we came here for fun,
and now we're actually scared. So we got our money's
worth on that one. I think the most fun emotion
is being scared. I don't know what that says about me,
but like, I love scaring the ship out of myself.
Like if I if that happened to me, I feel
like I won the lottery. Where have you been, Like,
(40:16):
what's the most scared you've gotten? Mm hmm okay, they're
like where you're like, oh, this isn't really fun anymore.
I feel like I may have tempted something, you know, Yeah, Okay,
there's actually a brothel in Fort Worth that I stayed
at with my band, and I had multiple people be like,
fuck this ship, I'm going to sleep on the bus.
(40:37):
There's no light or electric or air conditioning, but like,
fuck this, I'm going to the bus because one door
just kept opening and closing. It's the same place that
I had previously had a weird experience at, like I
thought I saw a woman at the end of the
bed and she kind of touched my leg and I
woke up and I wasn't scared, and I felt sad
(40:57):
for her. So in my mind, I was like, oh,
I've seen an apparition of a person and I'm not scared,
and like more channeling hurt. It was just like sad.
I felt sad because she seemed like stuck, and so
I just took my band back there and so that
was scary. And then there's a place in Milwaukee. Have
you ever been to The Rave? No, I haven't. I
(41:18):
know of the Rave though, it's like where Jeffrey Dahmer
across the street used to take people and chop him
up have some snacks. They tore down everything he was
a part of in Milwaukee around the building he lived
in the candy company that the factory worked at. They
moved over town. Yeah, they tried. They're just trying to erase.
They don't want any of that kind of notoriety, no
(41:41):
cannibal behavior. Would you taste of human flesh? Well, so
I was thinking about this. My sister in law, so
my brother and his wife had a baby and the
placenta came out, and I'm the godmother, and so she
proceeded to paint with the placenta. So she took it out,
(42:01):
this ugly weird thing that you have kids. Have you
seen a placenta? They're fucking weird. It's a sack that's
made in a lady and it's beautiful and it is gorgeous,
but it's very weird because we were painting with it.
So we like flopped it on its like it's kind
of like a jellyfish. I don't know, So we flopped
(42:22):
it on the canvas. Then we like flopped it on
another canvas. Everyone had their turn with the placenta to
make like a it's like a handprint, but with the placenta. Right,
So then she boils the placenta and was like who's
going to eat it? And it was like this test
of like who's who has the balls to eat this placenta,
and I was like, fuck it, I do I will.
(42:45):
I am the godparent and the Godfather give me the placenta,
and I ate the placenta. And I was the only
one that would do it. I was really proud. Well,
there's that hangover coming up for me. That's that's something else.
That's something else. I didn't think I was gonna get
into here. So I think I ate a piece of
(43:08):
a person. Did did you? Yeah? Did you get into
this with Alice Cooper? It seems like he would like,
I mean, come on, King of Shock Rock, cover this
with Alice Cooper? All right, so gritty gritty tampon. I mean,
I've like just eating burritos that I found on truck bumpers,
but that's mostly more gross. That's mostly I don't like
(43:30):
food waste than I drink and I get hungry. The
combination of those beliefs kind of manifest itself, like anybody
finishing this and I just go for it. I haven't
found a placenta and any of those you don't know,
I don't know. You may have been eating a human
remains burrito. You have a podcast, the Boogey Monster, that
(43:54):
talks about weird ship and fried chicken. Uh well yeah,
it really starts it about uh, trying to cover supernatural
and unexplained phenomenon but somehow we always kind of wind
up talking about food. Well, much like much like this,
it all comes back to that common that shared experience
(44:17):
of dining what you dine on. That's the interesting part. Yeah. Yeah,
we do the Boogie Monster every week. I'm I'm finally
starting to tour again. Shamelessly promote yourself right now, tell
everybody where to find you and what you're up to.
You go, oh, okay, well my name is Kyle Knine
(44:37):
and I'm on the internet is Kyle Knine. It's real simple,
it's everything. It's just my name. Nothing fancy. You go
to the website. There's gonna be dates up there. I'm
just I'm excited to get to telling jokes and hopefully
not being presented with body parts after shows. I don't want,
I don't. Don't give me like an igglue cooler and
(45:00):
be like, don't worry, just open it, open it when
you get back to the hotel, like I'm not. I'm no,
thank you for that, no thank you. But dot com
Calcane dot com and the Boogey Monsters podcast and you're
going on tour. Yeah, we're getting things are getting back
to normal. Well after that conversation, I don't know if
(45:20):
we can say that, Hey, you can just consider this
like the finale of the weirdest fucking year and a
half of our lifetime, and then it's just gonna get
really normal, really easy, and really fun after this. Oh yeah,
it's not gonna be like like worldwide spring break and
people are just gonna go bonkers. Oh I have I
(45:42):
have a feeling people are just going to go full
naked orgy crazy. I have one quick question I need
to ask you before I can let you go. Mm hmm.
What is a secret conspiracy that you would like to
start on my show? Well, then I can start, yeah,
like keeping free Reign. Well, because I had one proven
(46:10):
Oh we'll go. There was that Trader Joe's parking lots
are made too small on purpose to make them seem
more popular. Oh really, And then that got then a
friend of mine, whoa, what are you doing? Everybody loves
you Trader Joe's. Don't be shady, but do you love it?
(46:32):
Because does everybody love it? Or is that parking lot
just full? Up all the time. There's only five spots. No,
I love it because they have gummies that are in
this shape of sea creatures. Well, now we're going back
to the figure. Now we're looping right back around. I'm sorry,
Okay for joining me today, Kyle name on cashing the creepies.
(46:57):
So appreciate anybody who's stuck with us through this journey.
Thank you for listening, thank you for being here. Keep
on creeping on, keep it creepy, and I'm gonna send
you some pictures of weird fish. Well, thanks for having
my cash. I appreciate
Dreams are the you know, the goulash. Dreams are just
like the chili that you make with your leftover thoughts
of the day. It's a little bit of I went
to grocery store. It's a little bit I talked to
my mom and and then it just goes into the
pot and that's the stew of in your subconscious I
always would get scared when I had like regular dreams.
I got a dream that I just brushed my teeth
(00:21):
and I woke up and I'm like, oh, welcome to
cash in the Creepies. Today we have Kyle Canine. Thank
(00:43):
you for coming on cash and the creepies. You bet
cash that thanks for having me about them creepies. Yeah,
I love Creepy Ship. And through the grape vine, I've
heard you also love Creepy Ship. I'm a big fan.
Got a big old poster of Bigfoot movie in the
background here and some other weird oddities. Bigfoot's one I
(01:03):
never have like fully gotten into is that are you
a believer in Bigfoot? Well? I think all my all
my beliefs stem from like a real why not, why
not let the world be a little bit more interesting
with oddities? Like maybe I don't know. The woods they're
pretty big. It's true. I mean, I want to believe
(01:27):
in a Bigfoot. I just have never seen super compelling.
Every time I see something, it's like so bad that
I just need one thing that's like, this is pretty compelling.
Here's a weird like I believe in the Luckness Monster,
but like Bigfoot, I don't know. I just haven't seen.
If you know of a documentary or a picture, send
(01:48):
it to me, because I want to believe in Bigfoot,
yet I don't know what it is like. The Bigfoot
hunters can always like get somebody with a helicopter and
an infrared camera, but then anytime they do see them,
they're like a flip on from two thousand one. That's
what I'm saying. I've never seen a good picture of Bigfoot.
Here's I'll throw this one at you. Bigfoot is a
time traveler. He's got portals in the woods. Nobody can
(02:11):
catch him because he just travels to another dimension. That's
when I've heard. I love that. See I can totally
get behind that big Foot. What a Bigfoot's from the
future already, and he's not an ape, he's a he's
an advanced human being. Who doesn't even need clothes or
anything anymore. Like all he's all bio mechanical inside, he's
got all all his uh, he's got psychic abilities. You
(02:34):
can throw anything you want a bigfoot. I love this
because that's how I feel about aliens. So I can
just transfer it over to a hairy man in the woods,
which is also one of my favorite things, are harryman
that are in the woods. So I'm like, I can
get on board now, thank you for that. I do
live in Oregon. I'm just letting you know. I'm just
telling you that now. So I was just in Seattle.
(02:57):
It's just in Seattle at this like San Juan Island.
Have you been there. I haven't been to the San
Juan Islands, but I know of them. Oh my god.
I was just like kayaking with orcas and frolicking with
baby foxes. It's so magical up there right now. Any
any weird vibes out there? There were weird vibes in that, Like,
(03:22):
you know, yeah, I get a little bit of a
weird vibe, but I kind of chased the weird vibe,
like I love a weird vibe. Anything that gives me
like a normal vibe I find to be really boring.
So me and my best friend were just like, we
got this thing called a coot scoot. We were cute
scooting around and getting naked and like jumping in the ocean,
and then we found this like hobbit house. I was.
(03:44):
I was out in the desert a few weeks ago,
letting a letting the stars make up new constellations for themselves.
Uh so I get it. I'm not gonna I'm not
gonna poopoo. I would like a clarification of what a
coot scoot is. Okay, So coot scoot is a two
person scooter. Because I didn't want to go on a
one person scooter because I'm codependent. So I made us
(04:04):
get a two person scooter. And it's really not very cool.
There's a flag on the back. It's bright red. It's
like screams like we are tourists, we are losers. But
it was so fun. Yeah, I a two person scooter.
You know, by the end of this, of all of
(04:25):
all the mystical things we're gonna talk about, I think
I want to convince you to just get a scooter
for yourself and enjoy the freedom that that allows. That's
that's I think the goal here. Do you believe in
the supernatural? I do. I struggle with the proof that's
presented most of the time, much like you are with Bigfoot.
(04:46):
I think that I hit. I kind of had to
stop reading about it because I kept I was reading
myself out of believing it. And it doesn't hurt and
it's not hurting anybody if I want to just sit
and I have my own theories about all of it,
about aliens, I think, and it was supernatural. I think
that you know, we consist of you know, electrical energy,
(05:10):
and these so energy cannot be destroy Yeah, it's only transferred. Now.
I know a lot of people say that that's the
when when you decompose, it's the critters that eat you,
and that where the energy goes. But what about like
there's electrical synapses in your mind. And I feel like
that maybe if if someone has taken in an abrupt manner,
(05:36):
that that elect that electrical energy has to manifest itself somewhere,
not as like you know, let's see a woman with
a gown coming down the stairs, but just as you know,
it's a little extra flash of the lights in your
house or something like that that I think it does
go somewhere in a scientific sense, you do. I've had
(05:57):
all sorts of people on this podcast, but it's people
that scene weird ship and then also people that can
explain it in a way that I can't with science backing,
because I always love hearing how certain things are possible
backed by science. Big fan of science. Science. But so
you believe in ghosts, Well, here's one of the things
that I read that bummed me out is that a
(06:18):
lot of times people seeing apparitions they've actually figured out,
like when it's in larger buildings, hotels and such, that
the air conditioning, large air conditioning units can create a
frequency that actually will vibrate your eyes to a point
where that's where you think you're seeing something. And I
(06:39):
felt like people I see goes this like ghosts in
these types of buildings, like, oh, it's because these these
high volume air conditioners, well, like create a frequency that
resonates with I'm like, well, that's even scarier knowing that
my eyes can jiggle without me knowing it. Like that's
terrifying in its own right for sure. And then just
like see people that aren't there, that's the that's the thing,
(07:03):
Like like I'm seeing a figure or anything. I Um,
I have not sleep paralysis, And once I read about sleeper,
I'm like, oh, that explains so many things that happens
because sleep paralysis I don't know if you've ever explain
Can you explain it? What it is exactly? Oh? Yeah,
(07:24):
it sucks real bad. Quick. It's it's like it's the
opposite of sleepwalking. Like sleepwalking, your mind's asleep, but your
body is awake. Sleep paralysis is your bodies asleep, but
your mind's in between dreaming and being conscious. So you
(07:49):
can't if I'm falling asleep, well no, if I'm falling asleep,
I know where I'm at. I'm in my bed, there's
my glass of water, there's my clock, you know, my
phone's plugged in a were there, and also there's a
ten ft tall shadow person in the corner and it's
just as real as all these other things, because I
think I'm still awake, and then you're like, well, that's scary,
(08:12):
maybe I should move and get out of here, and
then you can't move your body, so that sucks real bad.
And it's uh what I've heard of. Now that I
know that it's happening, I kind of try to control,
because if you can control that, that's where people get
into lucid dreaming. And I've so I you've heard alucid
(08:34):
dreaming right where you could basically control your dreams, and
that's where the sleep paralysis is. Your kind of opening
the door that possibility. But it's real hard to get
through because once you realize, oh I'm dreaming, cool, I
wake up because once I address the reality of it,
I wake up, come out of it. What about the
shadow person? Who's the person? Oh, it's it's the it's
(09:00):
usually now that I know that it's happening, I get
myself out of that situation because I like being I
like being scared, like haunted houses everything, but that's too real,
and then it wakes me up. I can't fall asleep afterwards.
But it's like it's a lot of times you'll see
in history, like old drawings of like a demon sitting
on somebody's chest, or a demon sitting at the end
of the bed, and it's always an ominous figure. I
(09:22):
can't only make out features, but it's just as real
as all the other elements in my room. That's what
it's like when you're in a dream. Like, well, there's
a demon, but also I'm flying on the back of
a giant salmon and you know, like drink dream dream
ships going on. But it was like, no, I just
went to bed. I just got my bed ten minutes ago.
I know where I am. Why is that in my room? Horrifying?
(09:45):
It's something I can control it. So when I'm in
a dream and it's scary, because I have a scary
dreams a lot, but I'm usually like, I know it's
a dream, I'll pinch myself in the dream and try
to wake myself out a special only because one time
I convinced myself this isn't the same as yours. Yours
sounds really scary. But I convinced myself that I had
(10:07):
walked over to the toilet and I could pee, and
I was sleeping on my mom's couch and I just
peeed all over her couch. And ever since then, I
was like, I need to figure something out, so maybe
try this. I pinched myself in my dreams to see
if I'm really awake, and then if I'm not feeling
the pinch, then like, don't pee, You're asleep. Your brain
(10:28):
is tricking you. Don't well at least you've got that
part under control. That's all I have under control in
my life. I don't I don't pee in my dreams,
So I got that going for me. Well, you know,
there's the one that I think I learned it from
watching that movie Waking Life. You ever see that? Oh
my god? Yeah? In high school though, yeah, yeah, well
(10:51):
also a long time. But the fact that, like, you
can't read or turn lights on and off in a dream.
And I just had to dream last night there was
something where I was dealing with somebody, like they almost
hit me with their car or something. So I was like, well,
I'm gonna get this license plate. And I remember specifically
going up to the license plate and realizing it wasn't
(11:12):
a letter and that the letters were painted over, and
I was like, oh, I'm in a dream. I can't
read this license plate. I would feel so relieved. I
always feel relieved when I know I'm asleep, because it's
usually the dreams I remember usually really fucked up. I
don't know if the same for you, Like you said
you just got hit in the car or something. Yeah,
but that's my problem with like dreams are always fucked up,
(11:34):
because that's what dreams. Dreams are the you know, the ghoulash.
Dreams are just like the chili that you make with
your leftover thoughts of the day. It's a little bit
of I went to grocery store. It's a little bit
I talked to my mom and so, and then it
just goes into the pot and that's the stew of
in your subconscious. I always would get scared when I
had like regular dreams. I got a dream that I
(11:56):
just brushed my teeth and I woke up, and I'm like,
oh God, that scares me more, because either that means
my subconscious is so filled with crazy, scary shit that
even my my being is like, don't give him that.
That's too much, that's he can't handle that. Or I'm
just that boring of a person. And even when my
brain can go wild, it's like I've given the toothbrush
(12:18):
dream again. That scares me more. If I had a dream,
I'd be more scared than I'm like, Oh no, am
I just really boring? Yeah, I'm not creative. I'm an artist.
Even my dreams are dumb drag No. I have like
nightmares solidly, like every single night, so it's not fun
to sleep paralysis. Thank god. I've never had like we
(12:41):
were talking about, where you can't move. But I do
scream in my sleep and throw punches when I'm sleeping.
My buddy does that too, Like we'll fight in his sleep. Yeah. Yeah,
have you hit anybody? Oh ah? And I like kick
(13:01):
my feet. I'm just like ready to fight in my dreams.
I'm just like you have. You had to explain it, yeah,
next day like, oh no, no, I wasn't. I was sleeping. Yeah,
you're cool. I was just asleep, Especially when you're like dating,
(13:23):
dating and throwing punches in your sleep. Not a cute combo,
but I just like, like you said, it's kind of
like a mishmash of everything that's going on in my brain,
and I guess in my sleep, I just really want
to punch somebody. So that's what's happening. If you get
nightmares every night, i'd say, maybe like almost every night,
(13:44):
do you just go to bed like all right, here
we go? Yeah? Uh, like you accept it totally. I'll
like meditate and be like, okay, kitties, we're gonna go
to this scary place where your mom's gonna throw a punch.
Just just watch out, like that's every night. It's kind
of sucked up, like I really hate like I love sleeping,
(14:05):
but I also hate the process of going to sleep
because I know there's scary ship waiting for me on
the other side. That's the I would get that with
the sleep paralysis, because I'd lay there drifting off to
sleep and then just oh cool, demons back. Know how
often does this happen? We have to figure something out.
This is not okay, not often anymore, because I know,
(14:28):
like if I even get the sense of it, I
know I need to move my body because that's the
paralysis part. It's like all I need to do to
get this demon to go away is move my body.
And then you can't move. So I'm awake. I know
I'm in my room, but I'm paralyzed and there's a
thing over there. But if have you tried, have you
(14:49):
messed around like with Valerian root or melotonin done all
those kind of melotonin gives me worse dreams and Valirian
I have tried that. I'm not sure if it does
any thing. Do you think it helps? It calms me down,
puts my dumb ideas to rest for them, Like I'm
going to try it. This past year has been a
(15:09):
little slower on the craziness a little. I liked. I
liked it. I like just I feel bad that I've
enjoyed quarantine. Um don't you usually tour? Yeah, that part
I missed, but I was getting more. I I like.
(15:29):
I appreciated the force, like slow down, appreciate the things
in your life, appreciate the people in your life. I
appreciated the time to appreciate all the things in my
life that have kind of gone accidentally underappreciated, and like
the flowers in my yard I noticed and talk to
and things like that where I do actually get to
slow down. So I appreciate that. But I also recognize
(15:53):
it's been a hell of a year and almost a half.
But there are parts that I think have been really
helpful for me. Like it's been nice to be able
to talk to people like you, just I could to
sit down and have a conversation. Before this, I hadn't
taken a shower or been able to take a piss
(16:15):
without somebody being like, you have to be on a
phone call, You're so busy, you gotta go on stage.
So it's nice to like be a person I had
like a joke with somebody. I had like three things
to do in one day last week. I'm like, what
am I a CEO? I don't know how to do this.
I never want to work again. Yeah, I don't want
to go back to all this stuff like this. I'm
(16:38):
good with this. I take walks. I smile at dogs.
I never look at the people. I always smile at
the dogs. I look like an extra psycho, Like I
forget that I look like how I look And I'm
just walking around waving at animals and ships. Oh my god,
that's fine. Now I'm in the now, I'm in the
suburbs and people are like looking at me through their
blinds and like, oh, I get it. Yeah I look
Oh crawled out of the ground. Love that. I love
(17:01):
your look. Just for the record, I have I love
a beard, always have, always well one, Yeah, I love it.
Um so I think you look excellent. But side note,
did you know that John Wayne Gacy committed his murders
thirty minutes away from where you're from? Uh? Yeah, that
(17:22):
was the big joke because he was also a contractor.
So it's always like, oh, they're gonna come tear up
your driveway looking for kids. Oh my god, I'm like,
I mean, I'm laughing at it because that was the
joke that I would always serve like barbecues and everything
like my dad's and uncles would like make jokes about.
So yeah, there was we had John Wayne Gacy. I mean, listen,
(17:44):
we're no Wisconsin, alright. Wisconsin has just well it's got
beer and the friendliest regular just beer drinking folks and
then real real psychos, and I don't know what the
split is. Like part of me, I was trying to
(18:05):
make jokes about how if you live in a city,
especially an apartment, like you're forced to know your neighbors.
So there's assholes, but there's not as many psychos because
like I got shared walls, like I know, if you're
doing some nefarious stuff. Now I'm in the suburbs with
distance between people, and there's way more weirdness happening in
(18:25):
the suburbs than people realize. I used to deliver pizzas
and you encounter way weirder characters in the suburbs. It's
always like, well the guy had like nine people caged up,
not an apartment in a basement in the suburbs, because
you can have a basement in the suburbs. He had thirty,
(18:46):
like thirty bodies or or eight of them are under
the house, all the bodies. And I'm wondering, because you
live in the suburbs, could you, like, couldn't you smell
that from next door? I think enough for breeze And uh,
(19:06):
doesn't anybody know this? Like why do you all straight
men think for breeze does something good. All it does
is smell like poop and fa breeze or like cat
shit and fabreeze. It's so disgusting. Well, okay, so I
was always a sucker for a little fa breeze and
a little incense because I figured those two things against
(19:29):
fixes stuff. It just makes it stayed our works. But
a window, well all right, so for breeze doesn't work
because you're trying to keep a bunch of bodies in
the basement outside of the lime and whatever else they use.
Don't use for a serial killers, listen to this, don't
use fabreeze. It just thinks more bregnrant corpses. But I
(19:52):
love That's why I love delivering pizzas because like any
kind of weirdo just opened their door. I don't know
why delivering pizza sounds like a scary job. Maybe I
was watching movies or something. Tell me the weirdest ship
you saw delivering pizzas. I want to know. It was
usually like just getting invited in to do drugs with people.
(20:14):
People love getting the pizza dude, like getting him a
beer or getting them stoned because the pizza guy and people. Yeah,
I was always appreciative of that kind of generosity. It
was always weird when I was like with a family though,
when like I remember I went to one house. We
would go to this apartment complex and this is a
bit grotesque. There was this was like it was a
(20:36):
bad apartment complex. And I don't think like Dominoes or
Pizza Hut would deliver there because of insurance reasons, because
that's how bad it was. So I just worked for
my friend. He's like, oh, cool man, we got add
percent of the business over at this apartment. We'd go
there and it was a place where you're like, oh,
I gotta put all my money in different pockets, so
if I get robbed, I just go to one pocket
(20:58):
and give him that money. You gotta split up your money.
My buddy got robbed and they took the pizza I
think he offered. He's he's like, you want the pizza too,
and they're like, oh, okay, yeah, I'm sure. You know
that gets your adrenaline going. You get hungry after a robbery.
But I delivered to this family. It was like a
mom and teenagers don't be like a little kid. And
I get halfway down the staircase, I just hear, hey, pizza, man,
(21:20):
you want to smoke some killer doge. And I was like, well,
I'm sure, and I just he let me in and
then he goes hold I gave me a bowl and
he goes hold on, and the mom just took the
Pizza's mom and little kids just eating the pizza in
the dining room, like how's it going? Like, Hi, I'm
starting to feel a little bad about this environment, mostly
(21:42):
for the kid, like you should. And I just hear
all his glass break in the back room where this
kid had gone to his teenager. He just just hear fuck.
He comes out. He's like, I like a five ft
graphics I was gonna have you hit man. I just
busted it. So I was the reason this guy hoocus
five ft graphics ball. But then he's like, I'm real sorry,
(22:04):
man and he just left me. I just sat on
their couch smoking a bowl watching TV. They just eight
pizza in the other room. Oh my god, let's get
into aliens. I'm going, I can. I'm happy to go
to but I want you to go first because I'm
just curious. I know what I think? All right, Um,
(22:26):
here's my thought on aliens. Uh. That one, It's that
it's future humans coming back to see you know. Maybe
it's like it's tourism, you know, it's time travel tourism. Possibly.
Why do we constantly look at aliens to be of
a Why do they all have to be like a
(22:47):
human form or somewhat We're always expecting them to be like, oh,
we's still got a head and eyes, wears like a
shiny jacket or something like why why can't aliens be
my grow organisms that are coming to Earth? They could be?
I mean, Alice Cooper thinks that COVID is an alien
(23:09):
kind of blew my mind. Did he just say that
and just was like pieced out on yet or did
he have like an explanation. He kind of explained a
little bit, but he was just like, did you ever
think that maybe COVID's an alien? And I was like, no,
I I didn't. Should we call somebody. It's like, I
don't know octopuses. Look at octopus? Oh my god. I
(23:31):
love Okay, there genius, and we should not eat them.
Personal stance. I also think it's weird and it's usually
a pig butt hole, but I love and they're so
smart and magical. I really don't think we should be
eating them. There's like, yeah, I stopped because I found
(23:56):
out they can like open jars from the inside and escape,
and then like they're too smart. I already stopped eating
all the land meat. A little taste gets in there
maybe once or twice a year, but I stopped eating
land meat, and I'm like, all right, what is fish?
And I started learning about different seafood and I learned
about I love kylamari, but then if it's a pig
(24:19):
butt holes, I can't have that because well, what did
they say they're about scallops that it's just like a
manta ray that they put a cookie cutter. Oh my god,
that's so depressing, really, but maybe the manta ray is
that maybe they let it live and it's just more aerodynamically.
Oh my god. Well, I don't eat those either either
of the above. So I'm good. But yeah, no, I
(24:42):
don't think we should be eating things that look like
the way those things look like. I won't eat an
ugly creature like I would. Here's the thing. You won't
eat ugly stuff. No, just cute stuff, what like baby
horses and things that's only adorable, you know what. I
went by like, I was like. I was like, if
(25:05):
I can't kill the animal, yeah, like I went I
went hunting to find out how like could I do?
It's so interesting? And I say, I shot the birds
the sky and then we ate the birds. But I
had to sit. I was pulling the feathers out and everything,
and I was like, well, I don't feel great about this.
(25:27):
I'm going to eat it. But then I think about
how nonchalantly I would eat other things chicken or beef
or anything, how casually. I'm like, well, if I don't
think I could kill it, then maybe I shouldn't eat
my philosophy too. There is flounders. Everyone out there's listening,
(25:47):
which we maybe have lost some people at this point.
If you're listening, google what a flounder's face looks like
and tell me if you want to eat that because
I don't. It's better to eat the ugly things. You're
putting them out of their misery. That's I'll eat. I
eat what's the one that swims upstream? Salmon go upstream? Yeah,
(26:11):
like that just sounds dumb to me, So I'll eat
them because they seem dumb. They're cute. Well, like you still,
you've got all these years of evolution and what it's
done for all these other creatures you live. You can
look at an octopus. You live in the same home
as an octopus in the sea, and you could look
at an octopus and go like, look, look what you're
(26:32):
doing with this environment. Meanwhile, I gotta go back upstream
to get laid. I gotta go against the force of
a river so I can bone down in the place
I was born and then die. I think that's that's
a romantic I think we're writing a Pixar movie right now.
I think that's what we're doing. Right There's like one
fish that's like I got dreams, and the rest of
(26:55):
them like, you can't. You got to go up the river.
And I don't know if it's the male or the
female go up the river. I also think that aliens
could my mom thinks that they live in the ocean,
but they're like they take their ships and they're kind
of like humanoid creatures that live in the ocean. I
personally think that when you said that earlier, I always
(27:16):
have thought aliens are us in the future time travel.
Maybe it's a different dimension, Like they're definitely us evolved
um coming back. But then when you said that made
me think, like, are we just like zoo creatures here,
like and they're coming back? Yeah, the human zoo theory, Well,
(27:37):
I just wouldn't like people when people say they see it, well, yeah,
that the people are just coming by and going hoof,
look at that. One think about how many different um
universes and galaxies and exist, and how many possibilities for
a planet similar to Earth to start up on a
different timeline, to start millions of years ago but had
(28:01):
had oxygen and water and all the components that could
create a humanlike creature, and how many of like like
been developed and then died off, Like we could be
one of thousands of different Earth type planets millions and
we don't know. Yeah, So that's the Fermi paradox, is
(28:23):
the one of like, well, if there's intelligent life out there?
Why haven't we been visited by it? Like the possibility
seems obvious that something must have developed similar to ourselves
or simple an intelligent quote unquote intelligent uh type of being.
I have to put intelligence in quotes because I tripped
(28:44):
and fell into the cat's litter box last night. Including
I'm not including myself and the intelligent being thing here,
but you know what I'm saying collectively? Were you sleep? Um?
I was drunk, Kesha, So sam okaya your judgment. I
(29:04):
thought we weren't judging. I just want the full story
because I have four cats and one of my main
quarantine activities has been cleaning litter boxes, so we could
go to town on that topic. I am. The only
good news out of this is that it's a stray
cat that lives in the garage and does not use
the litter box at all, So I fell into a
(29:25):
clean one, a fresh litter box. Well did you have fun?
Is the main question? I think I did, But I
was more ashamed that I did that than normally. I
could laugh that stuff off. Just give it like a week.
I'm laughing about it because it's funny, Kesha. Can we
(29:46):
leave me falling in a litter box. Out of this
and get back to the front of paradox. Please we
get back to the scientific. Sorry shamed, I'm a little embarrassed. Okay, Okay,
go back. Ah it was I just had to sweep
(30:08):
it up before this. Um are you? Are you? Okay?
I'm very elastic with my drinking some coffee. I got
a Topo Chico bubble water over here. Be fine. You're
smashing that. You're smashing this conversation. This isn't my first
(30:29):
rodeo rodeo, I mean falling into a cat box. Um.
I think that there's a possibility that, yeah, we're visited
as a point of reference for other cultures that have
developed this ability to travel. I get upset when people
are like, oh, there, I saw the spaceship and then
(30:50):
I could see through the window there was creatures in it,
Like why why do we still think spaceships need windows?
Like oh, is the psychic being? But they still need
a win no, so they could find out how to land?
Like what what? I agree with you? There? Aliens could
be a strange sort of consciousness that exists, or a
(31:12):
microscopic element that travels and explores, you know, in a
that that that's all around us right now, and then
can all then travel as a a gas or a
cloud or something away into where they're from. So it's beautiful. Yeah,
the traditional definition of an alien I kind of get.
(31:36):
That's why I think they're If they're real and people
are seeing these figures that have two legs and two
arms and hands, and their eyes are just bigger, and
their brains inside their head are bigger, that's where I'm like, Oh,
that's where I feel it's this future human civilization. I
totally think so too. And when you said like they
come back, that like, blew my mind. I've never heard
(31:58):
the human zooth here is what you called it. Yeah,
that just that they would come back to either as
a tourist, as like a I mean, imagine if you
had the concept of time travel and you're or or
dimensional travel. Maybe they're coming here to see mistakes that
we're making. I was thinking that. I didn't want to
(32:20):
say it, but I was gonna say, like, maybe they're
coming back to be like WHOA, well that's sucked up.
They will sucked up. Why people that's the mix of
like why people think they see things around military basis.
Now you can just accredit that to like the military
working on some top secret stuff, or is it some
(32:40):
sort of warning from beings or elsewhere, like, hey, we're
not supposed to mess, you know, the back to the
future type of thing. You can't really mess with a timeline. Interesting,
but maybe they're like, hey, don't, maybe don't do that.
Maybe don't don't come up your weapons. Yeah, no shit,
(33:01):
I mean in my brain, no ship. But I did
see some weird thing in the desert. Have you ever
seen something that you thought was like alien or spaceship
or UFO anything like that with your own eyeballs? No,
And that's the one. I don't want to go looking
for it too much because I feel like the human,
(33:23):
the mind and the imagination can manifest things if you
want it bad enough. So I try to go like
I try to be like, all right, if you're out there,
let me let me see it. But that's like, okay,
that's how when I just was up near you in Seattle,
that's how I have to be. With animals. I'm obsessed with,
(33:43):
like critters. So there are these baby foxes and I
was like, okay, don't be thirsty, just like sit here
and like act like you don't care be cool, but
like you want it, so I'm putting it. I'm like manifesting,
like please come and like show yourself to me. But
I'm not being a thirsty bitch, like on your own time,
(34:03):
not being like good vibes, yeah, just really good vibes.
And then the last day almost missed the flight. Five
baby motherfucking boxes, scampering around, throwing a little dead bunny around,
having so much fun with like it's tail was the
cutest it I ever saw, so happy. So I do
feel that there's an idea of like energy or good
(34:26):
vibes that you could you could tell when you walk
into a room where people have just finished arguing room
that if people have just finished making out or something,
even if they're even if their faces aren't at you,
you can like, oh I can feel the energy in
this room. Yeah, yeah, vibe. So I feel like maybe
(34:51):
having the right vibe, not quite going into a psychic ability,
but like people that experienced ghosts, they just have an
openness and an ability like I don't. I don't necessarily
believe most people they're like, oh I can see ghosts,
and I talked to spirits, Like if you could really
talk to spirits. Spirits could communicate with you, your life
(35:13):
would be hell oh true. Imagine. I think there was
like it was like a Matt Damon movie or something
where he's like he was legit psyche and his because
people were just hunting him down because they wanted to
like give messages. Yeah, and so like, oh, you need
to contact this person. People are like, you know, the
(35:33):
death of a loved one is a devastating thing. Or
you would be weaponized by the military if you like
your psychic, the military is gonna kidnap you, just like
anybody who was like a hacker or something like, oh
you can hack into stuff, Well here's your options, prison
or you work for us. You know, like think I'm
(35:53):
psychic sometimes and then I'm usually just being paranoid or
have anxiety. But then some times that anxiety and paranoia
ends up being right. So then I'm like, is that
psychic or am I just like a catastrophist that thinks
of all the worst case scenarios you tell me, I
like catastrophist as a word. I haven't heard that one before,
(36:16):
and I dig that as a word. You can have it.
It's like a special kind of artist, like I like that. Yes,
I am a special kind of artist, like yeah, I
think that's another reason why I was saying like I
don't like to really I kind of like these are
(36:38):
my opinions. But if somebody goes to a psychic, they're
already they're already searching for something, so they're already putting
themselves in a vulnerable place. Yeah, you know, it's when
it's like I've gone to up haunted houses. I've gone
to and seeing like one time I was in one
place where like, oh, and this was the nursery that
the kids used to be in and if you speak
(37:00):
to the children, we put toys in here for them
to play with. And I saw it was Bobby Mackie's
music World. I don't know if you know about that place.
It's one of the places that claims to be what
is Where's that? It's on the border of Kentucky and
Ohio or Kentucky and Indiana. I think it's right outside
of Cincinnati, the one that's right on the river there.
(37:22):
I'm from Tennessee, I should know this. And I used
to go from Tennessee to Indiana all the time, which
is like creepy little route. Yeah. Well, this This is
like a like the river. It's like a it's like
an old honky tonk bar on the river. But it
used to be a brothel. It used to be this
bootlegging stop because it was on the river. And they
claim it's one of the most haunted places, and every
(37:44):
place is the most haunted place. What's it called? What's
it called? I want to go to this place? But
Bobby's Music World, Music World, and yeah, I went with
my sister. Yeah, we went to like we're like, all right,
we're gonna go take this road trip when we go
to haunted places, and so we went on the money.
It's still open on the weekends. I don't know about now,
but like it's a bar with live music and everything
(38:05):
and just you know, like a bar in Kentucky with
live music and open dance floor. Yeah, so I'm sure
on the weekends it's a pretty fun spot. But we
went on a Monday when this a woman would just
give tours of the haunted stuff. And so right away
we get there like, oh, we're doing a fun road trip.
And the woman she's that answers the door, she's like,
(38:26):
was there another couple there's supposed to be four people
are like, oh no, it's just us. We don't know
about the other couple, and we just so she goes,
all right, I don't like doing this with less than
five people. Like now I'm thinking she's trying to put
it on right. She was just like, I don't like
doing this without enough people because it's crazy, because because
it's scary. We're the only people in there. And so
(38:51):
she's getting this tour and this happened over there and
a guy got shot there and they see a ghost
over there and all stuff. But so it used to
be a brothel and it had a nursery for the
chill aldren of the working ladies to be looked after
in this area. And she's like, and if you kick
the ball, like like like a little toy balls and everything,
it'll roll back here. This is where the drain is.
That's the lowest point in the room. That's not like
(39:14):
a ghost thing. And so I tapped one of these
balls and it rolls around the floor and comes back
to where the drain is. But then it goes. It
wasn't going fast enough in my opinion, to be able
to go back up the other side, but it came
back up right two between my feet. That road past
the low point of the floor and then went uphill
(39:35):
back towards me. And then did it stop when it
hit your feet? It stopped? Yeah, I just came there
and stopped at my feet. And that was the one
time where I was like, oh, this got me scared. Now.
I wasn't in there, I didn't measure the floor. I
wasn't down there doing a golfer stare trying to see
what the angles were or anything. But me and my
(39:56):
sister looked at each other like we came here for fun,
and now we're actually scared. So we got our money's
worth on that one. I think the most fun emotion
is being scared. I don't know what that says about me,
but like, I love scaring the ship out of myself.
Like if I if that happened to me, I feel
like I won the lottery. Where have you been, Like,
(40:16):
what's the most scared you've gotten? Mm hmm okay, they're
like where you're like, oh, this isn't really fun anymore.
I feel like I may have tempted something, you know, Yeah, Okay,
there's actually a brothel in Fort Worth that I stayed
at with my band, and I had multiple people be like,
fuck this ship, I'm going to sleep on the bus.
(40:37):
There's no light or electric or air conditioning, but like,
fuck this, I'm going to the bus because one door
just kept opening and closing. It's the same place that
I had previously had a weird experience at, like I
thought I saw a woman at the end of the
bed and she kind of touched my leg and I
woke up and I wasn't scared, and I felt sad
(40:57):
for her. So in my mind, I was like, oh,
I've seen an apparition of a person and I'm not scared,
and like more channeling hurt. It was just like sad.
I felt sad because she seemed like stuck, and so
I just took my band back there and so that
was scary. And then there's a place in Milwaukee. Have
you ever been to The Rave? No, I haven't. I
(41:18):
know of the Rave though, it's like where Jeffrey Dahmer
across the street used to take people and chop him
up have some snacks. They tore down everything he was
a part of in Milwaukee around the building he lived
in the candy company that the factory worked at. They
moved over town. Yeah, they tried. They're just trying to erase.
They don't want any of that kind of notoriety, no
(41:41):
cannibal behavior. Would you taste of human flesh? Well, so
I was thinking about this. My sister in law, so
my brother and his wife had a baby and the
placenta came out, and I'm the godmother, and so she
proceeded to paint with the placenta. So she took it out,
(42:01):
this ugly weird thing that you have kids. Have you
seen a placenta? They're fucking weird. It's a sack that's
made in a lady and it's beautiful and it is gorgeous,
but it's very weird because we were painting with it.
So we like flopped it on its like it's kind
of like a jellyfish. I don't know, So we flopped
(42:22):
it on the canvas. Then we like flopped it on
another canvas. Everyone had their turn with the placenta to
make like a it's like a handprint, but with the placenta. Right,
So then she boils the placenta and was like who's
going to eat it? And it was like this test
of like who's who has the balls to eat this placenta,
and I was like, fuck it, I do I will.
(42:45):
I am the godparent and the Godfather give me the placenta,
and I ate the placenta. And I was the only
one that would do it. I was really proud. Well,
there's that hangover coming up for me. That's that's something else.
That's something else. I didn't think I was gonna get
into here. So I think I ate a piece of
(43:08):
a person. Did did you? Yeah? Did you get into
this with Alice Cooper? It seems like he would like,
I mean, come on, King of Shock Rock, cover this
with Alice Cooper? All right, so gritty gritty tampon. I mean,
I've like just eating burritos that I found on truck bumpers,
but that's mostly more gross. That's mostly I don't like
(43:30):
food waste than I drink and I get hungry. The
combination of those beliefs kind of manifest itself, like anybody
finishing this and I just go for it. I haven't
found a placenta and any of those you don't know,
I don't know. You may have been eating a human
remains burrito. You have a podcast, the Boogey Monster, that
(43:54):
talks about weird ship and fried chicken. Uh well yeah,
it really starts it about uh, trying to cover supernatural
and unexplained phenomenon but somehow we always kind of wind
up talking about food. Well, much like much like this,
it all comes back to that common that shared experience
(44:17):
of dining what you dine on. That's the interesting part. Yeah. Yeah,
we do the Boogie Monster every week. I'm I'm finally
starting to tour again. Shamelessly promote yourself right now, tell
everybody where to find you and what you're up to.
You go, oh, okay, well my name is Kyle Knine
(44:37):
and I'm on the internet is Kyle Knine. It's real simple,
it's everything. It's just my name. Nothing fancy. You go
to the website. There's gonna be dates up there. I'm
just I'm excited to get to telling jokes and hopefully
not being presented with body parts after shows. I don't want,
I don't. Don't give me like an igglue cooler and
(45:00):
be like, don't worry, just open it, open it when
you get back to the hotel, like I'm not. I'm no,
thank you for that, no thank you. But dot com
Calcane dot com and the Boogey Monsters podcast and you're
going on tour. Yeah, we're getting things are getting back
to normal. Well after that conversation, I don't know if
(45:20):
we can say that, Hey, you can just consider this
like the finale of the weirdest fucking year and a
half of our lifetime, and then it's just gonna get
really normal, really easy, and really fun after this. Oh yeah,
it's not gonna be like like worldwide spring break and
people are just gonna go bonkers. Oh I have I
(45:42):
have a feeling people are just going to go full
naked orgy crazy. I have one quick question I need
to ask you before I can let you go. Mm hmm.
What is a secret conspiracy that you would like to
start on my show? Well, then I can start, yeah,
like keeping free Reign. Well, because I had one proven
(46:10):
Oh we'll go. There was that Trader Joe's parking lots
are made too small on purpose to make them seem
more popular. Oh really, And then that got then a
friend of mine, whoa, what are you doing? Everybody loves
you Trader Joe's. Don't be shady, but do you love it?
(46:32):
Because does everybody love it? Or is that parking lot
just full? Up all the time. There's only five spots. No,
I love it because they have gummies that are in
this shape of sea creatures. Well, now we're going back
to the figure. Now we're looping right back around. I'm sorry,
Okay for joining me today, Kyle name on cashing the creepies.
(46:57):
So appreciate anybody who's stuck with us through this journey.
Thank you for listening, thank you for being here. Keep
on creeping on, keep it creepy, and I'm gonna send
you some pictures of weird fish. Well, thanks for having
my cash. I appreciate
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