March 4, 2024 • 41 mins
In this BONUS episode, Matt and Bowen give you their top ten stores.
This bonus episode is available early for subscribers to Big Money Players Diamond on Apple Podcasts: https://apple.co/lasculturistas
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Look Mayer, oh, I see you my own line and
look over there is that culture. Yes, goodness, wow, lost
cult ding Dong lost culturistas calling Well. Thank you again
to all of our big money players Diamond subscribers for
listening to the special bonus up of our lists, our
(00:22):
top ten lists.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
You guys are the definition of not like other girls,
because you actually pay a little bit more to get
this episode earlier, which makes you different from so many
people out there in the public. And we thank you
for putting your putting your dollar into you know, our
great cause. I meant, we'll see I was a little
bit more transparent. Yeah, well, let's be really transparent. When
(00:44):
when you get money, what do.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
You do with it? You go donate to charity. I
was going to say, shopping girl, I think you're at
You're lying. I was trying to align with you because
you said you're putting your money towards a great cause,
and I said, you're putting money in our coffers, and
so I was trying to like make ay those two ideas.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
I'm I'm I'm not even going to hide my checks
from this podcast. Some of it goes to charity, A
lot of it goes to shopping and that really sort
of brings us to what what this episode is. What's
on the table in front of us, this this bonus episode,
as it were, this top ten. Yes, this is I
(01:21):
guess it's really capitalist culture. Huh, it's capitalist culture. You know,
money is one of the great collective hallucinations. WHOA, it's uh,
it's a LARP, a live action role play. It's a
live action role play. That's what money is at the
end of the day, and that what capitalism is.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
And would you say.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
That the the ten stores we're about to talk about
which will make up the top ten stores are this
is some place where you'd like love to go LARP.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Well, the store is where you larp the most with
in terms of money. Oh yeah, when you when you
hand the cashier the cash the car, that's a transaction.
When there's the transaction, that is the ultimate LARP. WAF
you're scanning at the self checkout kiosk, that's LARP.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
When I buy something, it can only be described as
a transaction.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
You know, Yeah, I think so, I think I know.
Now talk about the experience of going to the store,
because I don't want to we're not going to talk
about any e commerce on this episode, we're not talking
about add to cart, No, how about push the cart.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
I'm talking about good old fashioned walking in. I'm talking
about stepping into an environment where there's pieces and really
thinking aboub a plenty, just like look at this troll.
That's what I want to say. When I'm going into
a store. Sometimes I know exactly what I want. A
lot of the stores that we're going to be talking about,
you really do go there with a purpose. Sometimes you
(03:07):
do just want to go into a store and say
at this, Yeah, what's gonna happen, what's gonna happen.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
I can walk out of here penniless. I could walk
out here penniless, but I could walk out here with
something new, something new, something that really lifts my spirits.
Retail therapy is a thing, y'all I learned during the pandemic.
It works, And if it weren't for stores, you would
never have a lyric like so I went to Nieman
(03:37):
Mark's on a shopping spirit. Yeah, and my way, I'm
Sully and me. If there were no store, then Blue
Cantrell would have no way of coping with the way
her man was wronging her. Well, that was actually a
retail therapy anthem one, and that's when you go, maybe
(03:58):
stores are good.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
It's actually a real culture number thirty because of the
contral and her retail therapy.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
And them you go, maybe stores are good. You might
even work in a store if you listen to this podcast,
you might even work at the store.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
You might be listening to this podcast right now while
you're working at the store and works face. I have
to tell you you are breaking the law of your workplace.
I know it's not above board that you listen to
podcasts while you're at work, honey, especially if you're in Florida.
I know DeSantis's past legislation saying people who work at
stores cannot listen to these Bay guys. On last Culture
(04:34):
rest one, he said that with his chest, with his chest.
And today we're counting on the top ten stores. And
I'm ready to get into it because I think that
definitely everyone's going to be feeling the instinct. I want
to go out and you know, pick up a new item,
and I just want to get into it so that
people can start turning their whiels about just where they
(04:55):
want to go.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
Let's activate the economy, y'all. Let's let's let's give back,
and like the ariostour is in your town and you're
buying up all the beads for the friendship Bracelet pretend
you're tailor. Pretend your tailor. It's so noble that Taylor
Swift and Beyonce, you know that part of the virtue
of their tours was that they, you know, added money
to the economies of these cities.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
Number ten, Hudson News. Listen to me right now. There
is a communal experience at the airport. And it is
either walking past the Hudson News and saying, Hm.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
Is there anything in there I want?
Speaker 2 (05:30):
And deciding against it, or there is the really just
everyone knows what it's like to go in there and
ultimately buy a water and that's it.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
A seven dollars water, Yeah that you need. Picking one
bag of Werther's originals from a wall of Werther's originals,
picking up magazines a magazine, a drama, mean, a lifestyle, white,
a fucking ben and drill.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
You ever have those little sandwiches they sell at the
Hudson News.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
No way, Absolutely not too much self respect.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
See I guess I don't because I've actually eaten one.
I've had a tuna salad sandwich from the Hudson News.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
There is any other place at the airport to get
a sandwich.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
All right, But I think what it happened was something.
And tell me if you feel me. Sometimes you show
up to the airport just a little too late. You
gotta grab and go right. And that's really where the
Hudson News thrive from. My grabbers and goers, My grabbers
and goers. But I just think if you keep walking
(06:41):
two gates down, there's gonna be a little there's gonna
be something a little better and even maybe less crowded.
All this to say is why Hudson News News is
number ten on top ten stores.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
Last coach number nine. Pizza.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
Yeah, this also is known as pizza store. This is
the store you go to buy pizza and other Italian
garlic nots such as little calzones, such as different types
of pizza. I'm talking about PEPPERONIU, I'm talking about square What?
Speaker 1 (07:17):
Why did why did you? What's going on? You? Itchbald? God?
What I thought I thought I thought she was I
thought she wasbald. She she was just simply sneezing. She
didn't burst out laughing. She sneezed out. SnO, can we
say that was disgusting? Disgusting? That was awful to watch.
You're listening to this, she's she's currently going to the
(07:37):
restroom being so courteous. Anyway, Pizza, when you go to
the pizza store also known as pizza Rhea, do you
think let go I'll take one of everything. Let me
tell you something.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
I often think that, but you you can't really leave
with everything. I mean, you just can't eat that much, though,
I will say that the leftover value. There's a lot
of compelling choice in a pizzeria. And I put to you,
what's your favorite pizza supreme?
Speaker 1 (08:12):
I want pepperoni? You want it all. I want a
pepper I want a mushroom. I want maybe some sausage
if I'm in a mood. If I want a little protein,
extra protein. I want a red onion. I want it
heavy on the tomato sauce. You like, shar Pei, Do
you want it all? I'm like, I'm like Ashley Tisdale. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
And in her most iconic performance, I think to Sharpe,
it's true, what about you? The truth about me that
you don't know is that I really will just be
eating a regular slice.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
Regular slices. I mean, I think that that's here's the
thing about pizza. Sometimes it okay, in the beginning of time,
there was no pizza, right, and so then all of
a sudden there was one pizza, pizza. And I think
because we crushed it so hard on the invention of
pizza that we actually often try to like reinvent the
(09:09):
wheel in terms of things that need to be on it,
when what we had to begin with already was like
a creation that was worthy of its own standing in
the culture, you know what I mean, Like a lot
of people here think it's boring to maybe just say
I just want to have regular size of pizza. But
what I would say is like just stripping everything away.
If you took away the knowledge that there is this
(09:30):
culture of pizza and there is so many types of pizzas,
you would be way, way, way happier to just like
accept what we have. It's in front of you, Like,
pizza is so great by itself, and I get that
you're supreme. We're I guess we're coming from opposite ends
of the spector duality that is that is this podcast.
(09:52):
That's very this podcast. If you think but I'm thinking
of pizza is an open faced hot sandwich.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
It's like, what do you know what I mean open
face hot sandwich. I guess because of the bread of
it all.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
It's bread, sauce, top like like things that you would
maybe put in a sandwich.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
Girl, you are going to be out here on your
own if you're if you're if you're trying to say
pizza is a sandwich, I'm.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
Saying the beautiful innovation pizza. I will take whatever tone
I want. The beautiful thing about pizza it is a
large flat disc. Yeah, come back in. No, No, pizza
is a large flat disc and that is the that
is the innovation of it. He's trying to I just
want to fill it.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
So basically what's happening on the podcast at this moment
is Bowen is trying to convince me that pizza is
an open faced sandwich, a.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
Hot, open faced sandwich. Excuse me, excuse me. If you
were to put another slice of pizza face down on
top of it, a face up slice of pizza, is
that not a cal zone? Is that on a sane
in an essence a sandwich? It's it's things encased in bread.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
You know what you know what you sound right now,
crazier than a soup sandwich. You sound crazier than a
soup sandwich right now, And think about eating a soup sandwich.
It would it would be a lot like pizza, which.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
Is so crazy to me. And our engineer is literally
doubled over right now because he thinks what you've said
today here so far and we're at number nine is
some of the craziest ship you've ever heard. You're to
to talk about the store experience of pizza store. Talk
about what it's like with the vibe, what the right
vibe is when you walk into a pizza First of all,
(11:42):
I want guys with doe, guys with dough.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
First of all, with this if you're if you work
at a pizza store and you are so fucking hot,
and I want you to breed me.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
Oh now listen.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
But the second thing, when I think about the smell
of a pizza store, I'm so happy inside.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
Yeah, I I have to sing a song? What what song?
The pizza song?
Speaker 3 (12:08):
Pizza is My Boyfriend, Pizza is God, Pizza is on
the weekend, pizzas a relaxing did she should go relaxing dog?
If Taylor came out with a song called the Pizza Song.
Speaker 1 (12:25):
It would be huge if you think that Taylor Swift
if she released a song called the Pizza Song, and
if you don't think that would be one of her
Billboard Hot one hundred number one hits, he'd be deeply
mistake that that will be the biggest song of all time.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
She would tear eat Sleigh and Prosper, Prosper the Big Four.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
That's why Pizzeria is number nine in our list of
top ten stores Lost College.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
I don't have to say, just like, discourse around pizza
made me so happy?
Speaker 1 (12:55):
Are you gonna have pizza? SAIDAI? Now I think so,
me too, Oh my god. For eight Wegmans go on.
Wegmans is elevated grocery shopping.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
Say that Trader Joe's. You have to be in the
right say something. It's not twenty eleven. Sorry to you Jays.
Speaker 1 (13:21):
That one is so shook, disturbed, destroys. I'm trying to
becomadic and say that Traders is not an all the
time situation. No, Wegmans is an all the time situation.
Here's here's what I got from Wegmans recently. Die coke, Yeah,
you want to do that box of twenty frozen corn dogs.
(13:47):
What and it's the perfect snack if I'm coming home
from a long day at work, if it's like three
in the morning and not a lots open delivery. Wise,
I'm too tired to cook, But I I'm never too
tired to pop a cold, hard corn dog into the
microwave for one minute exactly, and then it's cooked to perfection.
(14:09):
Then I drizzle mustard, and then I take a little
finger bowl, put ketchup and mustard, mix it into a
special sauce, dip it in that I'm in heaven.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
You should do a corn dog talk show, absolutely, because
you know how there's chicken chop Date. You know how
there's hot wings challenge.
Speaker 1 (14:28):
What's it called hot ones? Hot ones? You should have
a corn dog show. Yeah, And it's just vibes. It's
it's it's not even chicken chop Date where it's like, oh,
look at us in this chicken chop It's not even
hot ones where it's like, oh they get to a challenge.
We're sitting on a big couch eating corn dog. And
what is a corn dog if not a sandwich on
(14:50):
a stick. That's from WandaVision that's from wand Division. All.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
This is why Wegmans is number eight on top ten stores.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
Lost Coach seven, best Buy still kicking, kicking ass.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
I have so many amazing memories in the best By,
such as buying a charger. I feel like everyone needs
a charger, everyone.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
Needs You're making fun of best Buy and I actually
really do know. I'm not what the fuck are you
talking about? Started off the sense I have so many
special little memories at best Buy, and I was gonna
say yes, my sister, and then you took a hard
left into I love buying chargers from best Buy. Fuck off.
Here's my memory of best Buy, of walking over from
when my mom was at the Costco next door. I
(15:33):
would walk over to best Buy when she was busy
doing her shopping. I would go to the dance dance
revolution pads in the middle of the store and have
dance competitions with the employees there to deed, to sandstorm,
bitch to fucking the number one people. This was what
was happening. This is where I learned my performance instincts. Okay,
(15:54):
people would start to gather yep, I can see this time.
When ever, when was that best Buy? I was the
star of best Buy because I was. I picture fifteen
year old me with braces throwing his legs around next
to the fucking thirty two year old goth best Buy
employees of the mid odds, and I was kicking their asses,
(16:16):
wiping the damn floor. I'm sorry, the damn dedr pad
with them.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
Do you think that when they saw you came in,
their heart sank because they knew that they were in
for defeat.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
Pone's here. Did they know your name? No? They were
just like that little Asian kid is here to fucking
fucking sweat and stomp sweat stone. Would you get incredibly
sweaty doing it? Yes? It was. It was my idea
of exercise. I didn't quite know my day. We were
right about that. I didn't really know my way around
the gym, and part of me like selling it to
my parents. They would never buy it for me, but
(16:47):
I was like, I'm gonna go exercise mom. I thinks
by One of the common misconceptions about dan Stein's Revolution
is that it's not exercise. Oh, I think it is exercise,
and I think that you proved that they had a
calorie counter. If there's a workout mode in DDR two
where you can dance to whatever song. They would show
you like a completely off figure, but they'd be like,
(17:10):
you burned two hundred calories dancing too. Can't get you
out of my head? Or whatever I.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
Want to ask you. So a lot of people they
asked the question of what was the first CEED you
ever bought? Speaking of best buy, Do you know or
could you guess what the last CD you bought was?
Speaker 1 (17:30):
Oh? My god, this is an interesting because the last
CD I bought must have been with the purpose of burning,
like not burning it, reverse burning or whatever you call it,
like uploading it to your iTunes to put on your iPod?
Right right? Can I tell you what I think it is? What?
(17:53):
Blackout by Britney Spears, WHOA? What was yours?
Speaker 2 (17:58):
I think that if I had to guess with the
last Oh, I know, but the Goga Goga goa?
Speaker 1 (18:03):
What I was? I had a car rental somewhere I
forget where, but I didn't have I didn't bring like
a Bluetooth thing or whatever. I didn't bring like a
a an Ox cord adapter thing. So about twenty five
by Adele on CD to put in my car? Wow,
my rental car to like listen to.
Speaker 2 (18:23):
I think that if I had to actually say what
was the last physical CD I bought, it had to
be one of Kelly's albums, because I probably said to myself,
like I'm gonna stream up it's help for numbers, I
have to go.
Speaker 1 (18:33):
To the store and buy the CD. So I'm going
to guess that it was like, so we both all
I ever wanted, We both love our Vegas queens. Yeah,
that's beautiful and all. This is why best buy. This
is number seven on the top ten door Doors Lost Coach,
(18:58):
number six record record store. So this sort of speaks
to exactly what we were just talking would I would say
that record store invest by were very much It's not
a redundancy, it's that they're very closely tied. I think
this is a dead heat. And in terms of if
he was coming in at number six, I think that.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
Like the record the idea of the record store short
of speaks to another type of store that's going to
come in a little bit later and that you really
go in for the experience. And I will say some
some some of the coolest stores I see in New York.
Record in the LA area is like a hybrid record
store slash coffee place or like you know what I mean,
Like it's like they there's a really cool place in
green Point, like a North green Point where around where
(19:37):
I used to live, which is like half record store
half coffee place. And also if you think there's not
a venue in the back for stand up night, you'd
be wrong.
Speaker 1 (19:46):
And honey, if you don't, if you think there isn't
a place to get a fucking barbershop cut at the
record store, coffee shop, stand up venue, deeply mistaken, deeply sorely.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
You know that we shot my video for Everything you
Want featuring Moon at a record store that was also
a bar that also had a stay.
Speaker 1 (20:05):
Thank god, because that video turned out amazing. And also
that is the perfect place to shoot a music video
where you need different kinds of sets.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
We got there and we were like and was that
moment Bowen of like can you believe we.
Speaker 1 (20:16):
Have this space? And that is true of so many
record stores across the globe. Thank you to Amba, Thank
you to Rough Trade, Rip Tower, Record r Ipe Tower.
We do remember you, We remember you fondly, and all
this as well.
Speaker 2 (20:30):
Well, this is why record stores are number six on
Top ten Stores last coach.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
Got out to twist and shout in Denver. I think
it's still around. Maybe it isn't, I hope. So number
five Lord and Taylor, talk about this because I don't
really have any real.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
So this is sort of like my Wegmans. Yes, Lord
and Taylor was a place where my mom would take
me to go shop. It was often like so Lord
and Taylor was like us, like a little department store where.
Speaker 1 (20:59):
They just had it.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
I wouldn't call it like a ton of fast fashion,
except like kind of would like it was a lot
of like I think you'd go there to buy a duster.
You'd go there to buy like some cheaper t shirts,
like you know what I mean, like Lord and Taylor,
like if you know.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
You know? Sure? But Lord and Taylor really Nordstrom, right?
And I was gonna this is what I was gonna
bring up, which is why did Lord and Taylor make
the list and not Nordstrom? And I don't want to
challenge it. I just want to I just want your
perspective on what makes Lord and Taylor exceptional enough?
Speaker 2 (21:31):
And can I say, why can I respond to aft
to you? I think it's because we made this list
very quickly seconds before we started recording this because Becka
said we had to do a bonus episode to court.
And that's just the truth. That's just the truth, is
that we just recorded with Tina Fey and then we
were actually asked very nicely to please do our bonus
so late. Yeah, because epis this episode is very late.
(21:54):
It's it's very late, she asked. Beca asked us so nicely.
And then but then she igbald. We thought she igbald,
but then she actually came out. Yeah, she sneezed on
the beat and the beat got sick Yance all on
his mouth like Lecca, have you ever heard that?
Speaker 1 (22:11):
Has anyone ever done that? Like Becca? Yonce all in
his mouth? Like Becca, do you hate it? Or do
you like it? You? And Yonce is in your mouth
all the time. All right, there you go.
Speaker 2 (22:22):
So all this is why Lord and Taylor is number five.
You know who's loving this list? My mom counts slow
and just tagged me in a story.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
What's this going to be? You wanna look?
Speaker 2 (22:32):
Let's just look, Oh the picture, it's it's me asking
a question about whether or not she's coming back to Ronnie.
Speaker 1 (22:39):
Well, then, because I was at her famously after crushing
the rumors, I'm not not beating the allegation.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
Beating those returning allegations number number four Cosco.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
Now, a lot of you may be wondering why this
didn't make four might be a low placement. I think
that to say this is like, this is almost up.
This is almost a stump. But also, I didn't you
know what you know what my theory is and why
it was snubbed. That the card of it all, the
membership of it all, you're right, years of it all.
It's like we don't want people gatekeeping. There there's gatekeeping.
(23:13):
Literal gatekeeping. Yeah, literal highlight keeping. Let me look at
the receipt and quickly do a little eye your shop.
I didn't know I was on trial into the store.
The surveillance state is with us. Oh yeah, this this,
this seventy year old woman is like eyeing me down. Yeah,
it's already the real world is already socially stratified in
(23:37):
such perverted ways. And for me to be reminded of
that if I go into Costco and if I want
to apply for membership, oh there's this too, there's the
gold executive. I don't want to hear it. I want
to go to the store and just shop.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
Can I say something? I'm calling you in this has
gone to a very negative place. No, this has gone
to a very negative love Cosco. I know you do, sister,
and I know that what you're trying to say is
that they should make it easier to be more equitable.
Speaker 1 (24:05):
It should be cardholders non cardholders. That's even that's gatekeeping.
So let's just say to those in charge, we want
to share in the joy of this store. Everyone wants
to come to Costco. I wrote a this is actually
my thing. I wrote a sketch about Costco with Kim Kardashian.
By the way, where we sang up with the virtues
(24:27):
of Costco. They didn't say a peep. They didn't send
us one beef Wellington, they didn't send us one two
dollars dollar fifty hot dog. Again, that's crazy to me.
This is gone to a very But we put you
on the map. See, that's crazy. Kim and I did that.
Speaker 2 (24:47):
This is crazy to me that you would say that
you and Kim Kardashian put Costco on the map.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
Chris Jenner didn't do shit. Well, I don't think it
didn't do shit about Costco. All right, I don't care.
No one gives a shit that they go to Costco.
They're moms. Of course they're going to Costco. I'm here
a young gay man say it with the most famous
woman in the world. Okay, boosting your signal and nothing.
I agree with you. It's a travesty.
Speaker 2 (25:14):
I do want to say, though, just to say how
much we love Costco, because I do think this, this
will be closer to their heart, you know what I mean? Like,
if you want to actually reach out to tell you somebody,
you have to do it with kindness.
Speaker 1 (25:26):
You have to do it with kindness. And can we say, Costco,
you have given us so much such as samples of food.
There is no other store that is doing samples like Costco.
There's no other store that is doing all the produce
is in the coldest room in the world where you
have to walk through the plastic fucking pedals that hang
down from the door. Parking lot more like parka is
(25:49):
what I need to be wearing in that aisle. Pitch
eight eight? What's four plus four eight? How many letters
in devoured? Eight? How many continents should there be? Eight eight?
That's what North Pulhan. You think can't really lock stud
(26:11):
released a song I think landed on the eighth content. Yeah,
I don't know if you should do that.
Speaker 2 (26:22):
I think the song's fine how it is, And that
is why Costco is number four on Top ten Stores
lostcal number three. Thrifting, thriftingrift, thrift, thrift stores stores.
Speaker 1 (26:35):
Yes, you feel you're a part of the problem. You
feel you're a part of the problem doing your fast fashion.
I'm talking to you, the reader. You can change. Go
to a thrift store today. Greta Thunberg implores you to Berg. Sorry,
you know who'd be so thrilled with you? Chloe seventy,
Chloe seven, She famously thrifts her a little behind off.
(26:59):
If you want to be a fashion icon like Chloe,
get it together, hun head to the thrift store. Toss
a bunch of stuff together. You don't know if it's
going to be iconic or not. Right, This is the
most this is some of the most ethical shopping you
can do. But the reason why it's number three and
not two or one, where are you laughing about?
Speaker 2 (27:17):
I'm laughing you being like this is so ethical, age
that I looked at number two.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
Or we'll get to that don't. Yeah, I know, I know,
I know, I know. The only note I have for
thrift stores. Okay, let's do something about the smells. Okay,
I know this is all secondhand, and this is all
We're going in great lengths to make sure that this
is all presentable and that people want to buy and
repurchase these things. I think the barrier of entry for
a lot of people is the smell. Have you ever
(27:45):
donated to a thrift store? Absolutely, if you don't think that.
When I moved apartments, I went to the Goodwill in
Queen's because I was the closest one, and then I
did four trips to that Goodwill with bad of clothes.
Good for you, you have another thing coming. I've gone.
I've done repeat trips to Out of the Closets. Oh,
(28:08):
we love Out of the Closet. We love Village Discount
in Chicago. We love el Trained Vintage in New York,
specifically Brooklyn. Can I get a peek behind the curtain?
Speaker 2 (28:17):
So all, speaking of my video earlier, everything I wore
for my music videos and my styling for the album
that I released last year called Havyhard of Christmas was
all thrifted by our friend Melissa label is a thrifting
icon at Molesey Mouse m U l s y us
(28:37):
incredible vibes, incredible thrift talent and dressed me down with
all thrift stuff. And I will say, as a result
of that experience working with her on it, I've been
very into thrift stores as a concept, and I am
not gonna lie. I used to be that girl doing
a lot of fast fashion and trying to cut that cutback,
(28:58):
always learning.
Speaker 1 (28:59):
Like a sponge. That's what they do and that.
Speaker 2 (29:02):
Is why thrift stores is number three on Top ten Stores.
Speaker 1 (29:06):
Lost Coach number two. Apple. I'm gonna give you the
floor here because I think that.
Speaker 2 (29:11):
You you more than anyone I know know.
Speaker 1 (29:15):
They're way around an Apple store. I know exactly where
the things are hidden. Oh, check the tables, the displayed tables.
There's a head and drawer there, treasures on sl Sorry
I didn't match your key your pitch. You were maybe
coming for me a little for saying the ethics of
Apple store is a little questionable. For sure, They're they're
(29:36):
going carbon neutral by twenty fifty or something. We love
Apple and there might not even be a world by then,
but they're they're they're making inroads. I will say.
Speaker 2 (29:45):
One thing that frustrates me Apple is so I have
the new iPhone here right the charger.
Speaker 1 (29:53):
You see USBC.
Speaker 2 (29:54):
Okay, So can I actually ask my sister this question?
Because I feel like I said, you might have the answer.
If anyone does in my life, it's gonna be you.
So there's the USB C. Now, this is the new
charger for the new iPhone. Then you go into your car.
Speaker 1 (30:09):
And some cars now have USBC.
Speaker 2 (30:11):
But is there an option for USB that plugs into USBC.
Speaker 1 (30:17):
Are some cords that go USB A to USBC. I
gotta find those cords. They sell them, all right, go
to a best Bye, go to the Hudson News.
Speaker 2 (30:26):
I'm trusting you, girl, I have them. I have multiple cords.
You think I can go to number ten on this listen?
Get something I can get at number two?
Speaker 1 (30:33):
They sell it at number two or they also sell
the adapter. All right.
Speaker 2 (30:36):
I get very confused and turned around with the USB
d D of it all.
Speaker 1 (30:41):
Excuse me, I just.
Speaker 2 (30:43):
Get very turned around when it comes to different USB variants.
I don't know why life can't just be more simple.
Speaker 1 (30:50):
And I say that that's the point of USB C
is that everything is going to be usb C in
the near future. But this whole journey started me. I'm
gonna say, like even seven years ago, when people were like,
let's let's all we're making the switch to USBC, it's
gonna take a minute, okay, and we're in this transition phase.
Speaker 2 (31:10):
Now I'm feeling that discomfort right now at my twenty
I'm gonna check in with you in about three years.
I'm gonna say, you're gonna be like, don't I can't
live without USBC.
Speaker 1 (31:24):
Do you trust me? Do I tell you we got
a new car? No, got a new car? What color? Black? Amazing?
Be careful. People might get in and thinking it's an uber.
Well listen, better that than my red car. I know,
you know.
Speaker 2 (31:36):
I was having a red Hound Wanda the Scarlet, which
you can understand why. And I was getting tickets a
lot because I think the car was too ostentatious. And
I remember that's what Joel Kim Booster said when I
picked him up one day. He said, I don't like
this car, and I thought that was very rude, and
then he said, well, it's too it's not your personality.
Speaker 1 (31:55):
It's too ostentatious.
Speaker 2 (31:57):
And then I actually I had a really understand the
fact that he doesn't think I'm ostentatious.
Speaker 1 (32:03):
There's nothing wrong with being ostentatious.
Speaker 2 (32:04):
I wish he thought I was more ostentatious because I
felt the car was very my personality.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
As I loved that car, I was very sad to
see it go the Apple Store. What's your favorite memory
memory of Apple Store? All the geniuses I've met. Yeah,
some really good people there. Unique, unique loving. That's what
you are, tech superstars. That is why Apple Stores is
(32:35):
number two on the top ten. Stirs lost culture, this
is number one. And here's the thing.
Speaker 2 (32:50):
We just had our guest, Tina Fe she left the
studio and we said, you know, we're doing the top
ten stores.
Speaker 1 (32:55):
What's the number one store? And she said on three, one,
two three, Target. This is I mean, you must have
all seen this coming, especially by the time we got
to number five, and you were like, they haven't said
Target yet. You know.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
One of the great things about Target too, is they're
so seasonally on top of it. If you walk in there,
like when of the clock strikes midnight on like even
like Halloween, Thanksgiving, like they somehow they magically waved the
wand and it is all the holidays are there and
everything is there, and like, if you want a.
Speaker 1 (33:25):
Reef, what it is? Wreathreth Why did I think it
was because I'm so addicted to marijuana. I love reef
for so much. Up top, you you understand. Target is
one of those places that helps you understand the passage
of time. Thank you God. It is the sundial of
(33:49):
our culture. Yeah, and never going anywhere. Good luck. They
have made some missteps recently with their pride stuff and
they've caved. Oh god, these these crazy things were going
to get in trouble for this. I don't care. They
can they can take this pop. What was it that
they took all the pride stuff down because of fear?
Because of fear they have been a little bit spineless
(34:12):
and other and other similar ways around the sort of
like let's acknowledge the queer people exist. Well, here's the
thing is.
Speaker 2 (34:22):
It's like, so when a corporation, like let's say, like
Target or something like does the pride thing and they're like,
we are all gay like, and that becomes very much
the vibe like we are all gay like theo's pride
everywhere and it becomes Target. It's like that's one thing
that people can choose to have a complain about, and
then when they take it all down, they're like, well,
you guys are spineless, and it's like, okay, we're just
(34:44):
trying to keep people safe because we have to ignore
the reality of the fact that there's a lot of
ongoing and escalating violence in this country, towards of course,
all minority groups. But also, no, I'm not defending Target.
I'm saying, is it is it a sort of you know,
damned if they do situation? And do we care that
much at all that there's a rainbow above? Like I
(35:06):
guess the reef stile, I guess. I guess to me
what reads is like.
Speaker 1 (35:11):
What does pride mean to you? What pride means to me?
Is that level beyond tolerance acceptance? Yeah, what gets me
is that pride you can't like it's like the heel
turned the renagging on. It is like, is sad? Yeah,
and that's all. I never hated Target for having pride stuff. No,
(35:35):
I absolutely love Target no matter what. And I understand anyway,
what can you get a Target? You can get Oh
my god, lunch, first of all, lunch Starbucks often if
you're lucky, a plastic bin for storage, not for nothing
but sex stuff, sex stuff, a toaster, pills, if there's
a CVS in there.
Speaker 2 (35:55):
There's a target in Chicago that I go to that
I think I've been to on four different occasions, four
different years to buy lube and lube only amazing because
Chicago is one of those cities you kind of have
a guy, you know what I mean, Chicago.
Speaker 1 (36:11):
Be fucking. It's one of the most fucking cities in Chicago,
be fucking And that's actually real culture number ninety nine.
Chicago be fucking.
Speaker 2 (36:22):
And luckily there's targets all over Chicago, it being a
major city, this being number one on the list, and
they have lube.
Speaker 1 (36:29):
And that's a huge part of why Chicago be fucking
is is that it's a It's a plentiful, bountiful I
would say New York is not super. The targets aren't
thriving in New York City the way they are in Chicago,
the way that they are in Los Angeles. Driving in
LA for sure, I know that's been in Chicago. I
think that's a sleeper target town. And I mean you
(36:53):
and I have both been on our separate on separate
and separate scenarios, of course, but like we've both been
plowed in Chicago. Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (37:02):
I mean I have some of my most iconic sexual
tales yea. And my book is coming out called The
Sexual Tales of Matt Rogers. It's not what you think.
It's much darker. It's more of a psycho sexual thriller.
It's actually fiction.
Speaker 1 (37:20):
But uh no, yeah, we've we've we've gotten it in Chicago.
Was Chicago meth for you? Chicago was not meth for me?
Where was where did you accidentally do meth? Queens? It
was at home.
Speaker 2 (37:33):
So if you don't know when, you're sort of just
joining the podcast now and not years ago, but one
actually did meth ones and had what you described as
acrobatic sex with a man for hour.
Speaker 1 (37:43):
Sex moving furniture around. I took the gene Traine home. Wow. Yeah,
But and that's not an euphemism. No oh no, no, no,
no ghb absolutely never ever. But you could probably buy
g at Target, to be honest, some day they got
it all. Hey, Target, here's how you correct the pride stuff.
(38:04):
Sell g I want to see poppers on the shelves too.
If you're gonna sell lube, why not sell poppers to
put the g next to the men of mucile. Yeah
that the gays can shit. Stop pretending like it's not
what it's for. It's like, when I'm in the you
should just call it the butt aisle. Have everything that
you need for your butt, you know what I'm saying.
It's like, why should I have to go all the
(38:25):
way over there, you know, like, you know what I'm
here for. I'm not. Here's what's in the butt aisle? Yeah,
tell me Sharman. Dude wipes the lube fleet enema fleet enema,
which I've been using. Don't use it too much, right,
(38:46):
But I'm saying, like, you get the hype about the
fleet enemas, but it's not it's I know, it's to
destroy my stomach finding. I know what else is in
the butt aisle? Some meta mucil? Yeah yeah, yeah. Even
at Target you could get some toys. I mean, is
that crazy to think? No? I think that's a bridge
(39:06):
too far. I don't think they saw like you can
get butt plugs and stuff at Target. How do you
know that massages? But massages looking for your tampons and
it's in the same secsion the tampons the loop got it.
If there was a pussy aisle at Target, we need
a bussy aisle, period I there's there. Heartedly agreed, there's
(39:29):
a pussy aisle, there's a pussyile. There should be a bussyisle.
That's real. Coaching number fifty, Hey, Target, If there's as
there should be a pussy aisle, and that is why,
that is why Target number one, number one on the
top lost Coach.
Speaker 2 (39:43):
Well, I'm super happy that we decided to put this
definitive list together as quickly as we did because we
questioned nothing.
Speaker 1 (39:49):
And that is how you know you've done something right.
It's when something just flows out of you and you
just need that sort of prompt from someone like producer Backround.
Speaker 2 (39:57):
What happened was, in many ways, producer Becca was the
fleet enema.
Speaker 1 (40:02):
She got right up.
Speaker 2 (40:02):
Our butts, she had her eyes, she got right up
our assholes and said, you need to do an episode.
And then we flushed out this list and now we're
ready to fuck.
Speaker 1 (40:15):
I can't wait. I don't know when I'll do it,
but hopefully soon. Two weeks off I'll go to Chicago
get fucked. That would be wonderful, be wonderful, have everything
you need well.
Speaker 2 (40:26):
Thank you so much for joining us, and yet another
amazing bonus episodes.
Speaker 1 (40:30):
I can I just know there'll be more. Yes, stay
tuned for the next month.
Speaker 4 (40:37):
With the song oh say you See Bye.
Speaker 1 (40:49):
I have such a crush on him for the Twilight,
ask you may hear more of that. Listen to the
National Anthem of America, as written by Francis Scott Key.
You were calling them a scot as Scott's Gerald, No
(41:10):
a scot Keyr Scott Key, Bye Bye the King.
Look Mayer, oh, I see you my own line and
look over there is that culture. Yes, goodness, wow, lost
cult ding Dong lost culturistas calling Well. Thank you again
to all of our big money players Diamond subscribers for
listening to the special bonus up of our lists, our
(00:22):
top ten lists.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
You guys are the definition of not like other girls,
because you actually pay a little bit more to get
this episode earlier, which makes you different from so many
people out there in the public. And we thank you
for putting your putting your dollar into you know, our
great cause. I meant, we'll see I was a little
bit more transparent. Yeah, well, let's be really transparent. When
(00:44):
when you get money, what do.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
You do with it? You go donate to charity. I
was going to say, shopping girl, I think you're at
You're lying. I was trying to align with you because
you said you're putting your money towards a great cause,
and I said, you're putting money in our coffers, and
so I was trying to like make ay those two ideas.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
I'm I'm I'm not even going to hide my checks
from this podcast. Some of it goes to charity, A
lot of it goes to shopping and that really sort
of brings us to what what this episode is. What's
on the table in front of us, this this bonus episode,
as it were, this top ten. Yes, this is I
(01:21):
guess it's really capitalist culture. Huh, it's capitalist culture. You know,
money is one of the great collective hallucinations. WHOA, it's uh,
it's a LARP, a live action role play. It's a
live action role play. That's what money is at the
end of the day, and that what capitalism is.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
And would you say.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
That the the ten stores we're about to talk about
which will make up the top ten stores are this
is some place where you'd like love to go LARP.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Well, the store is where you larp the most with
in terms of money. Oh yeah, when you when you
hand the cashier the cash the car, that's a transaction.
When there's the transaction, that is the ultimate LARP. WAF
you're scanning at the self checkout kiosk, that's LARP.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
When I buy something, it can only be described as
a transaction.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
You know, Yeah, I think so, I think I know.
Now talk about the experience of going to the store,
because I don't want to we're not going to talk
about any e commerce on this episode, we're not talking
about add to cart, No, how about push the cart.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
I'm talking about good old fashioned walking in. I'm talking
about stepping into an environment where there's pieces and really
thinking aboub a plenty, just like look at this troll.
That's what I want to say. When I'm going into
a store. Sometimes I know exactly what I want. A
lot of the stores that we're going to be talking about,
you really do go there with a purpose. Sometimes you
(03:07):
do just want to go into a store and say
at this, Yeah, what's gonna happen, what's gonna happen.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
I can walk out of here penniless. I could walk
out here penniless, but I could walk out here with
something new, something new, something that really lifts my spirits.
Retail therapy is a thing, y'all I learned during the pandemic.
It works, And if it weren't for stores, you would
never have a lyric like so I went to Nieman
(03:37):
Mark's on a shopping spirit. Yeah, and my way, I'm
Sully and me. If there were no store, then Blue
Cantrell would have no way of coping with the way
her man was wronging her. Well, that was actually a
retail therapy anthem one, and that's when you go, maybe
(03:58):
stores are good.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
It's actually a real culture number thirty because of the
contral and her retail therapy.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
And them you go, maybe stores are good. You might
even work in a store if you listen to this podcast,
you might even work at the store.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
You might be listening to this podcast right now while
you're working at the store and works face. I have
to tell you you are breaking the law of your workplace.
I know it's not above board that you listen to
podcasts while you're at work, honey, especially if you're in Florida.
I know DeSantis's past legislation saying people who work at
stores cannot listen to these Bay guys. On last Culture
(04:34):
rest one, he said that with his chest, with his chest.
And today we're counting on the top ten stores. And
I'm ready to get into it because I think that
definitely everyone's going to be feeling the instinct. I want
to go out and you know, pick up a new item,
and I just want to get into it so that
people can start turning their whiels about just where they
(04:55):
want to go.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
Let's activate the economy, y'all. Let's let's let's give back,
and like the ariostour is in your town and you're
buying up all the beads for the friendship Bracelet pretend
you're tailor. Pretend your tailor. It's so noble that Taylor
Swift and Beyonce, you know that part of the virtue
of their tours was that they, you know, added money
to the economies of these cities.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
Number ten, Hudson News. Listen to me right now. There
is a communal experience at the airport. And it is
either walking past the Hudson News and saying, Hm.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
Is there anything in there I want?
Speaker 2 (05:30):
And deciding against it, or there is the really just
everyone knows what it's like to go in there and
ultimately buy a water and that's it.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
A seven dollars water, Yeah that you need. Picking one
bag of Werther's originals from a wall of Werther's originals,
picking up magazines a magazine, a drama, mean, a lifestyle, white,
a fucking ben and drill.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
You ever have those little sandwiches they sell at the
Hudson News.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
No way, Absolutely not too much self respect.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
See I guess I don't because I've actually eaten one.
I've had a tuna salad sandwich from the Hudson News.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
There is any other place at the airport to get
a sandwich.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
All right, But I think what it happened was something.
And tell me if you feel me. Sometimes you show
up to the airport just a little too late. You
gotta grab and go right. And that's really where the
Hudson News thrive from. My grabbers and goers, My grabbers
and goers. But I just think if you keep walking
(06:41):
two gates down, there's gonna be a little there's gonna
be something a little better and even maybe less crowded.
All this to say is why Hudson News News is
number ten on top ten stores.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
Last coach number nine. Pizza.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
Yeah, this also is known as pizza store. This is
the store you go to buy pizza and other Italian
garlic nots such as little calzones, such as different types
of pizza. I'm talking about PEPPERONIU, I'm talking about square What?
Speaker 1 (07:17):
Why did why did you? What's going on? You? Itchbald? God?
What I thought I thought I thought she was I
thought she wasbald. She she was just simply sneezing. She
didn't burst out laughing. She sneezed out. SnO, can we
say that was disgusting? Disgusting? That was awful to watch.
You're listening to this, she's she's currently going to the
(07:37):
restroom being so courteous. Anyway, Pizza, when you go to
the pizza store also known as pizza Rhea, do you
think let go I'll take one of everything. Let me
tell you something.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
I often think that, but you you can't really leave
with everything. I mean, you just can't eat that much, though,
I will say that the leftover value. There's a lot
of compelling choice in a pizzeria. And I put to you,
what's your favorite pizza supreme?
Speaker 1 (08:12):
I want pepperoni? You want it all. I want a
pepper I want a mushroom. I want maybe some sausage
if I'm in a mood. If I want a little protein,
extra protein. I want a red onion. I want it
heavy on the tomato sauce. You like, shar Pei, Do
you want it all? I'm like, I'm like Ashley Tisdale. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
And in her most iconic performance, I think to Sharpe,
it's true, what about you? The truth about me that
you don't know is that I really will just be
eating a regular slice.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
Regular slices. I mean, I think that that's here's the
thing about pizza. Sometimes it okay, in the beginning of time,
there was no pizza, right, and so then all of
a sudden there was one pizza, pizza. And I think
because we crushed it so hard on the invention of
pizza that we actually often try to like reinvent the
(09:09):
wheel in terms of things that need to be on it,
when what we had to begin with already was like
a creation that was worthy of its own standing in
the culture, you know what I mean, Like a lot
of people here think it's boring to maybe just say
I just want to have regular size of pizza. But
what I would say is like just stripping everything away.
If you took away the knowledge that there is this
(09:30):
culture of pizza and there is so many types of pizzas,
you would be way, way, way happier to just like
accept what we have. It's in front of you, Like,
pizza is so great by itself, and I get that
you're supreme. We're I guess we're coming from opposite ends
of the spector duality that is that is this podcast.
(09:52):
That's very this podcast. If you think but I'm thinking
of pizza is an open faced hot sandwich.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
It's like, what do you know what I mean open
face hot sandwich. I guess because of the bread of
it all.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
It's bread, sauce, top like like things that you would
maybe put in a sandwich.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
Girl, you are going to be out here on your
own if you're if you're if you're trying to say
pizza is a sandwich, I'm.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
Saying the beautiful innovation pizza. I will take whatever tone
I want. The beautiful thing about pizza it is a
large flat disc. Yeah, come back in. No, No, pizza
is a large flat disc and that is the that
is the innovation of it. He's trying to I just
want to fill it.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
So basically what's happening on the podcast at this moment
is Bowen is trying to convince me that pizza is
an open faced sandwich, a.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
Hot, open faced sandwich. Excuse me, excuse me. If you
were to put another slice of pizza face down on
top of it, a face up slice of pizza, is
that not a cal zone? Is that on a sane
in an essence a sandwich? It's it's things encased in bread.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
You know what you know what you sound right now,
crazier than a soup sandwich. You sound crazier than a
soup sandwich right now, And think about eating a soup sandwich.
It would it would be a lot like pizza, which.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
Is so crazy to me. And our engineer is literally
doubled over right now because he thinks what you've said
today here so far and we're at number nine is
some of the craziest ship you've ever heard. You're to
to talk about the store experience of pizza store. Talk
about what it's like with the vibe, what the right
vibe is when you walk into a pizza First of all,
(11:42):
I want guys with doe, guys with dough.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
First of all, with this if you're if you work
at a pizza store and you are so fucking hot,
and I want you to breed me.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
Oh now listen.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
But the second thing, when I think about the smell
of a pizza store, I'm so happy inside.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
Yeah, I I have to sing a song? What what song?
The pizza song?
Speaker 3 (12:08):
Pizza is My Boyfriend, Pizza is God, Pizza is on
the weekend, pizzas a relaxing did she should go relaxing dog?
If Taylor came out with a song called the Pizza Song.
Speaker 1 (12:25):
It would be huge if you think that Taylor Swift
if she released a song called the Pizza Song, and
if you don't think that would be one of her
Billboard Hot one hundred number one hits, he'd be deeply
mistake that that will be the biggest song of all time.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
She would tear eat Sleigh and Prosper, Prosper the Big Four.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
That's why Pizzeria is number nine in our list of
top ten stores Lost College.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
I don't have to say, just like, discourse around pizza
made me so happy?
Speaker 1 (12:55):
Are you gonna have pizza? SAIDAI? Now I think so,
me too, Oh my god. For eight Wegmans go on.
Wegmans is elevated grocery shopping.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
Say that Trader Joe's. You have to be in the
right say something. It's not twenty eleven. Sorry to you Jays.
Speaker 1 (13:21):
That one is so shook, disturbed, destroys. I'm trying to
becomadic and say that Traders is not an all the
time situation. No, Wegmans is an all the time situation.
Here's here's what I got from Wegmans recently. Die coke, Yeah,
you want to do that box of twenty frozen corn dogs.
(13:47):
What and it's the perfect snack if I'm coming home
from a long day at work, if it's like three
in the morning and not a lots open delivery. Wise,
I'm too tired to cook, But I I'm never too
tired to pop a cold, hard corn dog into the
microwave for one minute exactly, and then it's cooked to perfection.
(14:09):
Then I drizzle mustard, and then I take a little
finger bowl, put ketchup and mustard, mix it into a
special sauce, dip it in that I'm in heaven.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
You should do a corn dog talk show, absolutely, because
you know how there's chicken chop Date. You know how
there's hot wings challenge.
Speaker 1 (14:28):
What's it called hot ones? Hot ones? You should have
a corn dog show. Yeah, And it's just vibes. It's
it's it's not even chicken chop Date where it's like, oh,
look at us in this chicken chop It's not even
hot ones where it's like, oh they get to a challenge.
We're sitting on a big couch eating corn dog. And
what is a corn dog if not a sandwich on
(14:50):
a stick. That's from WandaVision that's from wand Division. All.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
This is why Wegmans is number eight on top ten stores.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
Lost Coach seven, best Buy still kicking, kicking ass.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
I have so many amazing memories in the best By,
such as buying a charger. I feel like everyone needs
a charger, everyone.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
Needs You're making fun of best Buy and I actually
really do know. I'm not what the fuck are you
talking about? Started off the sense I have so many
special little memories at best Buy, and I was gonna
say yes, my sister, and then you took a hard
left into I love buying chargers from best Buy. Fuck off.
Here's my memory of best Buy, of walking over from
when my mom was at the Costco next door. I
(15:33):
would walk over to best Buy when she was busy
doing her shopping. I would go to the dance dance
revolution pads in the middle of the store and have
dance competitions with the employees there to deed, to sandstorm,
bitch to fucking the number one people. This was what
was happening. This is where I learned my performance instincts. Okay,
(15:54):
people would start to gather yep, I can see this time.
When ever, when was that best Buy? I was the
star of best Buy because I was. I picture fifteen
year old me with braces throwing his legs around next
to the fucking thirty two year old goth best Buy
employees of the mid odds, and I was kicking their asses,
(16:16):
wiping the damn floor. I'm sorry, the damn dedr pad
with them.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
Do you think that when they saw you came in,
their heart sank because they knew that they were in
for defeat.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
Pone's here. Did they know your name? No? They were
just like that little Asian kid is here to fucking
fucking sweat and stomp sweat stone. Would you get incredibly
sweaty doing it? Yes? It was. It was my idea
of exercise. I didn't quite know my day. We were
right about that. I didn't really know my way around
the gym, and part of me like selling it to
my parents. They would never buy it for me, but
(16:47):
I was like, I'm gonna go exercise mom. I thinks
by One of the common misconceptions about dan Stein's Revolution
is that it's not exercise. Oh, I think it is exercise,
and I think that you proved that they had a
calorie counter. If there's a workout mode in DDR two
where you can dance to whatever song. They would show
you like a completely off figure, but they'd be like,
(17:10):
you burned two hundred calories dancing too. Can't get you
out of my head? Or whatever I.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
Want to ask you. So a lot of people they
asked the question of what was the first CEED you
ever bought? Speaking of best buy, Do you know or
could you guess what the last CD you bought was?
Speaker 1 (17:30):
Oh? My god, this is an interesting because the last
CD I bought must have been with the purpose of burning,
like not burning it, reverse burning or whatever you call it,
like uploading it to your iTunes to put on your iPod?
Right right? Can I tell you what I think it is? What?
(17:53):
Blackout by Britney Spears, WHOA? What was yours?
Speaker 2 (17:58):
I think that if I had to guess with the
last Oh, I know, but the Goga Goga goa?
Speaker 1 (18:03):
What I was? I had a car rental somewhere I
forget where, but I didn't have I didn't bring like
a Bluetooth thing or whatever. I didn't bring like a
a an Ox cord adapter thing. So about twenty five
by Adele on CD to put in my car? Wow,
my rental car to like listen to.
Speaker 2 (18:23):
I think that if I had to actually say what
was the last physical CD I bought, it had to
be one of Kelly's albums, because I probably said to myself,
like I'm gonna stream up it's help for numbers, I
have to go.
Speaker 1 (18:33):
To the store and buy the CD. So I'm going
to guess that it was like, so we both all
I ever wanted, We both love our Vegas queens. Yeah,
that's beautiful and all. This is why best buy. This
is number seven on the top ten door Doors Lost Coach,
(18:58):
number six record record store. So this sort of speaks
to exactly what we were just talking would I would say
that record store invest by were very much It's not
a redundancy, it's that they're very closely tied. I think
this is a dead heat. And in terms of if
he was coming in at number six, I think that.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
Like the record the idea of the record store short
of speaks to another type of store that's going to
come in a little bit later and that you really
go in for the experience. And I will say some
some some of the coolest stores I see in New York.
Record in the LA area is like a hybrid record
store slash coffee place or like you know what I mean,
Like it's like they there's a really cool place in
green Point, like a North green Point where around where
(19:37):
I used to live, which is like half record store
half coffee place. And also if you think there's not
a venue in the back for stand up night, you'd
be wrong.
Speaker 1 (19:46):
And honey, if you don't, if you think there isn't
a place to get a fucking barbershop cut at the
record store, coffee shop, stand up venue, deeply mistaken, deeply sorely.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
You know that we shot my video for Everything you
Want featuring Moon at a record store that was also
a bar that also had a stay.
Speaker 1 (20:05):
Thank god, because that video turned out amazing. And also
that is the perfect place to shoot a music video
where you need different kinds of sets.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
We got there and we were like and was that
moment Bowen of like can you believe we.
Speaker 1 (20:16):
Have this space? And that is true of so many
record stores across the globe. Thank you to Amba, Thank
you to Rough Trade, Rip Tower, Record r Ipe Tower.
We do remember you, We remember you fondly, and all
this as well.
Speaker 2 (20:30):
Well, this is why record stores are number six on
Top ten Stores last coach.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
Got out to twist and shout in Denver. I think
it's still around. Maybe it isn't, I hope. So number
five Lord and Taylor, talk about this because I don't
really have any real.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
So this is sort of like my Wegmans. Yes, Lord
and Taylor was a place where my mom would take
me to go shop. It was often like so Lord
and Taylor was like us, like a little department store where.
Speaker 1 (20:59):
They just had it.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
I wouldn't call it like a ton of fast fashion,
except like kind of would like it was a lot
of like I think you'd go there to buy a duster.
You'd go there to buy like some cheaper t shirts,
like you know what I mean, like Lord and Taylor,
like if you know.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
You know? Sure? But Lord and Taylor really Nordstrom, right?
And I was gonna this is what I was gonna
bring up, which is why did Lord and Taylor make
the list and not Nordstrom? And I don't want to
challenge it. I just want to I just want your
perspective on what makes Lord and Taylor exceptional enough?
Speaker 2 (21:31):
And can I say, why can I respond to aft
to you? I think it's because we made this list
very quickly seconds before we started recording this because Becka
said we had to do a bonus episode to court.
And that's just the truth. That's just the truth, is
that we just recorded with Tina Fey and then we
were actually asked very nicely to please do our bonus
so late. Yeah, because epis this episode is very late.
(21:54):
It's it's very late, she asked. Beca asked us so nicely.
And then but then she igbald. We thought she igbald,
but then she actually came out. Yeah, she sneezed on
the beat and the beat got sick Yance all on
his mouth like Lecca, have you ever heard that?
Speaker 1 (22:11):
Has anyone ever done that? Like Becca? Yonce all in
his mouth? Like Becca, do you hate it? Or do
you like it? You? And Yonce is in your mouth
all the time. All right, there you go.
Speaker 2 (22:22):
So all this is why Lord and Taylor is number five.
You know who's loving this list? My mom counts slow
and just tagged me in a story.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
What's this going to be? You wanna look?
Speaker 2 (22:32):
Let's just look, Oh the picture, it's it's me asking
a question about whether or not she's coming back to Ronnie.
Speaker 1 (22:39):
Well, then, because I was at her famously after crushing
the rumors, I'm not not beating the allegation.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
Beating those returning allegations number number four Cosco.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
Now, a lot of you may be wondering why this
didn't make four might be a low placement. I think
that to say this is like, this is almost up.
This is almost a stump. But also, I didn't you
know what you know what my theory is and why
it was snubbed. That the card of it all, the
membership of it all, you're right, years of it all.
It's like we don't want people gatekeeping. There there's gatekeeping.
(23:13):
Literal gatekeeping. Yeah, literal highlight keeping. Let me look at
the receipt and quickly do a little eye your shop.
I didn't know I was on trial into the store.
The surveillance state is with us. Oh yeah, this this,
this seventy year old woman is like eyeing me down. Yeah,
it's already the real world is already socially stratified in
(23:37):
such perverted ways. And for me to be reminded of
that if I go into Costco and if I want
to apply for membership, oh there's this too, there's the
gold executive. I don't want to hear it. I want
to go to the store and just shop.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
Can I say something? I'm calling you in this has
gone to a very negative place. No, this has gone
to a very negative love Cosco. I know you do, sister,
and I know that what you're trying to say is
that they should make it easier to be more equitable.
Speaker 1 (24:05):
It should be cardholders non cardholders. That's even that's gatekeeping.
So let's just say to those in charge, we want
to share in the joy of this store. Everyone wants
to come to Costco. I wrote a this is actually
my thing. I wrote a sketch about Costco with Kim Kardashian.
By the way, where we sang up with the virtues
(24:27):
of Costco. They didn't say a peep. They didn't send
us one beef Wellington, they didn't send us one two
dollars dollar fifty hot dog. Again, that's crazy to me.
This is gone to a very But we put you
on the map. See, that's crazy. Kim and I did that.
Speaker 2 (24:47):
This is crazy to me that you would say that
you and Kim Kardashian put Costco on the map.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
Chris Jenner didn't do shit. Well, I don't think it
didn't do shit about Costco. All right, I don't care.
No one gives a shit that they go to Costco.
They're moms. Of course they're going to Costco. I'm here
a young gay man say it with the most famous
woman in the world. Okay, boosting your signal and nothing.
I agree with you. It's a travesty.
Speaker 2 (25:14):
I do want to say, though, just to say how
much we love Costco, because I do think this, this
will be closer to their heart, you know what I mean? Like,
if you want to actually reach out to tell you somebody,
you have to do it with kindness.
Speaker 1 (25:26):
You have to do it with kindness. And can we say, Costco,
you have given us so much such as samples of food.
There is no other store that is doing samples like Costco.
There's no other store that is doing all the produce
is in the coldest room in the world where you
have to walk through the plastic fucking pedals that hang
down from the door. Parking lot more like parka is
(25:49):
what I need to be wearing in that aisle. Pitch
eight eight? What's four plus four eight? How many letters
in devoured? Eight? How many continents should there be? Eight eight?
That's what North Pulhan. You think can't really lock stud
(26:11):
released a song I think landed on the eighth content. Yeah,
I don't know if you should do that.
Speaker 2 (26:22):
I think the song's fine how it is, And that
is why Costco is number four on Top ten Stores
lostcal number three. Thrifting, thriftingrift, thrift, thrift stores stores.
Speaker 1 (26:35):
Yes, you feel you're a part of the problem. You
feel you're a part of the problem doing your fast fashion.
I'm talking to you, the reader. You can change. Go
to a thrift store today. Greta Thunberg implores you to Berg. Sorry,
you know who'd be so thrilled with you? Chloe seventy,
Chloe seven, She famously thrifts her a little behind off.
(26:59):
If you want to be a fashion icon like Chloe,
get it together, hun head to the thrift store. Toss
a bunch of stuff together. You don't know if it's
going to be iconic or not. Right, This is the
most this is some of the most ethical shopping you
can do. But the reason why it's number three and
not two or one, where are you laughing about?
Speaker 2 (27:17):
I'm laughing you being like this is so ethical, age
that I looked at number two.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
Or we'll get to that don't. Yeah, I know, I know,
I know, I know. The only note I have for
thrift stores. Okay, let's do something about the smells. Okay,
I know this is all secondhand, and this is all
We're going in great lengths to make sure that this
is all presentable and that people want to buy and
repurchase these things. I think the barrier of entry for
a lot of people is the smell. Have you ever
(27:45):
donated to a thrift store? Absolutely, if you don't think that.
When I moved apartments, I went to the Goodwill in
Queen's because I was the closest one, and then I
did four trips to that Goodwill with bad of clothes.
Good for you, you have another thing coming. I've gone.
I've done repeat trips to Out of the Closets. Oh,
(28:08):
we love Out of the Closet. We love Village Discount
in Chicago. We love el Trained Vintage in New York,
specifically Brooklyn. Can I get a peek behind the curtain?
Speaker 2 (28:17):
So all, speaking of my video earlier, everything I wore
for my music videos and my styling for the album
that I released last year called Havyhard of Christmas was
all thrifted by our friend Melissa label is a thrifting
icon at Molesey Mouse m U l s y us
(28:37):
incredible vibes, incredible thrift talent and dressed me down with
all thrift stuff. And I will say, as a result
of that experience working with her on it, I've been
very into thrift stores as a concept, and I am
not gonna lie. I used to be that girl doing
a lot of fast fashion and trying to cut that cutback,
(28:58):
always learning.
Speaker 1 (28:59):
Like a sponge. That's what they do and that.
Speaker 2 (29:02):
Is why thrift stores is number three on Top ten Stores.
Speaker 1 (29:06):
Lost Coach number two. Apple. I'm gonna give you the
floor here because I think that.
Speaker 2 (29:11):
You you more than anyone I know know.
Speaker 1 (29:15):
They're way around an Apple store. I know exactly where
the things are hidden. Oh, check the tables, the displayed tables.
There's a head and drawer there, treasures on sl Sorry
I didn't match your key your pitch. You were maybe
coming for me a little for saying the ethics of
Apple store is a little questionable. For sure, They're they're
(29:36):
going carbon neutral by twenty fifty or something. We love
Apple and there might not even be a world by then,
but they're they're they're making inroads. I will say.
Speaker 2 (29:45):
One thing that frustrates me Apple is so I have
the new iPhone here right the charger.
Speaker 1 (29:53):
You see USBC.
Speaker 2 (29:54):
Okay, So can I actually ask my sister this question?
Because I feel like I said, you might have the answer.
If anyone does in my life, it's gonna be you.
So there's the USB C. Now, this is the new
charger for the new iPhone. Then you go into your car.
Speaker 1 (30:09):
And some cars now have USBC.
Speaker 2 (30:11):
But is there an option for USB that plugs into USBC.
Speaker 1 (30:17):
Are some cords that go USB A to USBC. I
gotta find those cords. They sell them, all right, go
to a best Bye, go to the Hudson News.
Speaker 2 (30:26):
I'm trusting you, girl, I have them. I have multiple cords.
You think I can go to number ten on this listen?
Get something I can get at number two?
Speaker 1 (30:33):
They sell it at number two or they also sell
the adapter. All right.
Speaker 2 (30:36):
I get very confused and turned around with the USB
d D of it all.
Speaker 1 (30:41):
Excuse me, I just.
Speaker 2 (30:43):
Get very turned around when it comes to different USB variants.
I don't know why life can't just be more simple.
Speaker 1 (30:50):
And I say that that's the point of USB C
is that everything is going to be usb C in
the near future. But this whole journey started me. I'm
gonna say, like even seven years ago, when people were like,
let's let's all we're making the switch to USBC, it's
gonna take a minute, okay, and we're in this transition phase.
Speaker 2 (31:10):
Now I'm feeling that discomfort right now at my twenty
I'm gonna check in with you in about three years.
I'm gonna say, you're gonna be like, don't I can't
live without USBC.
Speaker 1 (31:24):
Do you trust me? Do I tell you we got
a new car? No, got a new car? What color? Black? Amazing?
Be careful. People might get in and thinking it's an uber.
Well listen, better that than my red car. I know,
you know.
Speaker 2 (31:36):
I was having a red Hound Wanda the Scarlet, which
you can understand why. And I was getting tickets a
lot because I think the car was too ostentatious. And
I remember that's what Joel Kim Booster said when I
picked him up one day. He said, I don't like
this car, and I thought that was very rude, and
then he said, well, it's too it's not your personality.
Speaker 1 (31:55):
It's too ostentatious.
Speaker 2 (31:57):
And then I actually I had a really understand the
fact that he doesn't think I'm ostentatious.
Speaker 1 (32:03):
There's nothing wrong with being ostentatious.
Speaker 2 (32:04):
I wish he thought I was more ostentatious because I
felt the car was very my personality.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
As I loved that car, I was very sad to
see it go the Apple Store. What's your favorite memory
memory of Apple Store? All the geniuses I've met. Yeah,
some really good people there. Unique, unique loving. That's what
you are, tech superstars. That is why Apple Stores is
(32:35):
number two on the top ten. Stirs lost culture, this
is number one. And here's the thing.
Speaker 2 (32:50):
We just had our guest, Tina Fe she left the
studio and we said, you know, we're doing the top
ten stores.
Speaker 1 (32:55):
What's the number one store? And she said on three, one,
two three, Target. This is I mean, you must have
all seen this coming, especially by the time we got
to number five, and you were like, they haven't said
Target yet. You know.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
One of the great things about Target too, is they're
so seasonally on top of it. If you walk in there,
like when of the clock strikes midnight on like even
like Halloween, Thanksgiving, like they somehow they magically waved the
wand and it is all the holidays are there and
everything is there, and like, if you want a.
Speaker 1 (33:25):
Reef, what it is? Wreathreth Why did I think it
was because I'm so addicted to marijuana. I love reef
for so much. Up top, you you understand. Target is
one of those places that helps you understand the passage
of time. Thank you God. It is the sundial of
(33:49):
our culture. Yeah, and never going anywhere. Good luck. They
have made some missteps recently with their pride stuff and
they've caved. Oh god, these these crazy things were going
to get in trouble for this. I don't care. They
can they can take this pop. What was it that
they took all the pride stuff down because of fear?
Because of fear they have been a little bit spineless
(34:12):
and other and other similar ways around the sort of
like let's acknowledge the queer people exist. Well, here's the
thing is.
Speaker 2 (34:22):
It's like, so when a corporation, like let's say, like
Target or something like does the pride thing and they're like,
we are all gay like, and that becomes very much
the vibe like we are all gay like theo's pride
everywhere and it becomes Target. It's like that's one thing
that people can choose to have a complain about, and
then when they take it all down, they're like, well,
you guys are spineless, and it's like, okay, we're just
(34:44):
trying to keep people safe because we have to ignore
the reality of the fact that there's a lot of
ongoing and escalating violence in this country, towards of course,
all minority groups. But also, no, I'm not defending Target.
I'm saying, is it is it a sort of you know,
damned if they do situation? And do we care that
much at all that there's a rainbow above? Like I
(35:06):
guess the reef stile, I guess. I guess to me
what reads is like.
Speaker 1 (35:11):
What does pride mean to you? What pride means to me?
Is that level beyond tolerance acceptance? Yeah, what gets me
is that pride you can't like it's like the heel
turned the renagging on. It is like, is sad? Yeah,
and that's all. I never hated Target for having pride stuff. No,
(35:35):
I absolutely love Target no matter what. And I understand anyway,
what can you get a Target? You can get Oh
my god, lunch, first of all, lunch Starbucks often if
you're lucky, a plastic bin for storage, not for nothing
but sex stuff, sex stuff, a toaster, pills, if there's
a CVS in there.
Speaker 2 (35:55):
There's a target in Chicago that I go to that
I think I've been to on four different occasions, four
different years to buy lube and lube only amazing because
Chicago is one of those cities you kind of have
a guy, you know what I mean, Chicago.
Speaker 1 (36:11):
Be fucking. It's one of the most fucking cities in Chicago,
be fucking And that's actually real culture number ninety nine.
Chicago be fucking.
Speaker 2 (36:22):
And luckily there's targets all over Chicago, it being a
major city, this being number one on the list, and
they have lube.
Speaker 1 (36:29):
And that's a huge part of why Chicago be fucking
is is that it's a It's a plentiful, bountiful I
would say New York is not super. The targets aren't
thriving in New York City the way they are in Chicago,
the way that they are in Los Angeles. Driving in
LA for sure, I know that's been in Chicago. I
think that's a sleeper target town. And I mean you
(36:53):
and I have both been on our separate on separate
and separate scenarios, of course, but like we've both been
plowed in Chicago. Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (37:02):
I mean I have some of my most iconic sexual
tales yea. And my book is coming out called The
Sexual Tales of Matt Rogers. It's not what you think.
It's much darker. It's more of a psycho sexual thriller.
It's actually fiction.
Speaker 1 (37:20):
But uh no, yeah, we've we've we've gotten it in Chicago.
Was Chicago meth for you? Chicago was not meth for me?
Where was where did you accidentally do meth? Queens? It
was at home.
Speaker 2 (37:33):
So if you don't know when, you're sort of just
joining the podcast now and not years ago, but one
actually did meth ones and had what you described as
acrobatic sex with a man for hour.
Speaker 1 (37:43):
Sex moving furniture around. I took the gene Traine home. Wow. Yeah,
But and that's not an euphemism. No oh no, no, no,
no ghb absolutely never ever. But you could probably buy
g at Target, to be honest, some day they got
it all. Hey, Target, here's how you correct the pride stuff.
(38:04):
Sell g I want to see poppers on the shelves too.
If you're gonna sell lube, why not sell poppers to
put the g next to the men of mucile. Yeah
that the gays can shit. Stop pretending like it's not
what it's for. It's like, when I'm in the you
should just call it the butt aisle. Have everything that
you need for your butt, you know what I'm saying.
It's like, why should I have to go all the
(38:25):
way over there, you know, like, you know what I'm
here for. I'm not. Here's what's in the butt aisle? Yeah,
tell me Sharman. Dude wipes the lube fleet enema fleet enema,
which I've been using. Don't use it too much, right,
(38:46):
But I'm saying, like, you get the hype about the
fleet enemas, but it's not it's I know, it's to
destroy my stomach finding. I know what else is in
the butt aisle? Some meta mucil? Yeah yeah, yeah. Even
at Target you could get some toys. I mean, is
that crazy to think? No? I think that's a bridge
(39:06):
too far. I don't think they saw like you can
get butt plugs and stuff at Target. How do you
know that massages? But massages looking for your tampons and
it's in the same secsion the tampons the loop got it.
If there was a pussy aisle at Target, we need
a bussy aisle, period I there's there. Heartedly agreed, there's
(39:29):
a pussy aisle, there's a pussyile. There should be a bussyisle.
That's real. Coaching number fifty, Hey, Target, If there's as
there should be a pussy aisle, and that is why,
that is why Target number one, number one on the
top lost Coach.
Speaker 2 (39:43):
Well, I'm super happy that we decided to put this
definitive list together as quickly as we did because we
questioned nothing.
Speaker 1 (39:49):
And that is how you know you've done something right.
It's when something just flows out of you and you
just need that sort of prompt from someone like producer Backround.
Speaker 2 (39:57):
What happened was, in many ways, producer Becca was the
fleet enema.
Speaker 1 (40:02):
She got right up.
Speaker 2 (40:02):
Our butts, she had her eyes, she got right up
our assholes and said, you need to do an episode.
And then we flushed out this list and now we're
ready to fuck.
Speaker 1 (40:15):
I can't wait. I don't know when I'll do it,
but hopefully soon. Two weeks off I'll go to Chicago
get fucked. That would be wonderful, be wonderful, have everything
you need well.
Speaker 2 (40:26):
Thank you so much for joining us, and yet another
amazing bonus episodes.
Speaker 1 (40:30):
I can I just know there'll be more. Yes, stay
tuned for the next month.
Speaker 4 (40:37):
With the song oh say you See Bye.
Speaker 1 (40:49):
I have such a crush on him for the Twilight,
ask you may hear more of that. Listen to the
National Anthem of America, as written by Francis Scott Key.
You were calling them a scot as Scott's Gerald, No
(41:10):
a scot Keyr Scott Key, Bye Bye the King.
Hosts And Creators
Bowen Yang
Matt Rogers
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