December 23, 2024 • 41 mins
Real Housewife of New Jersey Jennifer Fessler received a devastating dose of reality when she learned her daughter was diagnosed with Type I diabetes at age 12. Jen reveals the pain of seeing her tween struggle with a life-long condition, and the lack of information about Type I and Type II.
From the shaming she experienced as a parent, to the misinformation about treatments and outcomes, Jen gets real about the danger her daughter faces and how she won't let the disease define her.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
This is Let's Be Clear with Shannon Doherty. Hello, let's
be clear listeners. My name is Jen Fessler, and you
may know me from the Real Housewives of New Jersey.
I also co host a podcast with my friend Jackie
Goldschneider called Who Jersey Jays. And let me just start
out by saying that I am so honored to be
(00:25):
guest hosting Shannon Doherty's podcast. I grew up really wanting
to be Brenda. To unlock my computer screen, it's nine
oh two one oh. Every time I unlock it, I
think about just Beverly Hills nine O two one oh, Shannon, Brenda.
(00:45):
They are such a huge part of growing up for
me and thinking about her. I guess at that time
it was like the character, right, So thinking about Brenda.
I had dark hair, I wanted to look like her.
I wanted my boyfriend to be Luke Perry. There was just,
you know, it sort of ingrained in me. Is this
(01:05):
memory of Shannon acting on nine O two one zero,
And then as I got older, just this unbelievable admiration
that I had and have for her and what she
went through and how brave that she was fighting her
battle and so It is really an unbelievable and unbelievable
(01:28):
honor for me to be here. And I was asked
to be here because I do, like all of us,
I have a story. And I say I have a story.
It's my story. It's also my daughter's story. So I'll
tell you that my daughter, at age twelve, was diagnosed
(01:48):
with a chronic disease. She was diagnosed with type one diabetes.
And I don't know if any of you listeners either
have had HYPE one or have type one yourself, or
know someone. It's complicated disease. It's an autoimmune disease. It's
very different from type two diabetes. But let me start.
(02:11):
I'm just going to kind of tell you my story,
our story. It's complicated, right, Like I'm always trying to
figure out how much of this is about me and
how much of this is about my daughter, Rachel. I
think probably the answer is it's all about Rachel, but
it definitely affects me, and it affects our family, and
it's changed all of our lives. So when Rachel was
(02:34):
twelve years old she is twenty two today, she had
been feeling a lot of thirst and it just seemed
kind of funny and not anything meaningful. But she was
always thirsty and she was going to the bathroom a lot,
a lot of urination, and I really didn't think much
about it. The irony of that is that I'm a
(02:56):
huge hypochondriac and so and with my kids, I was
definitely I tried not to be, but I was definitely
overbearing with them, and any little health issue that they had,
and any little sickness I would you know, in my
mind it would turn into something huge and scary and overwhelming. Meanwhile,
(03:17):
I didn't even think diabetes. When Rachel started experiencing some
of the symptoms of it. It was my husband who
said to me on a Sunday, she needs to go
to the doctor. She this is weird and I want
her to get tested for diabetes. I was like, Jeff,
please don't be ridiculous. So funny to think back now,
(03:39):
because every little thing to me, I escalates really quickly.
Just part of my own mental health but issues. But anyway,
so I took her to the doctor on a Sunday
and they pricked her little finger and they said, you
need to go to the hospital. Her blood sugar is
five hundred and something. I really didn't know what that
(04:01):
meant at the time, but that's really really high, a
high level of sugar in your blood. So we went
to Valley Hospital here in New Jersey, and there was
no way that my daughter had type one diabetes. It
actually is not that far fetched. I'll talk about that
a little bit because there is type one diabetes in
(04:23):
my family, but it just never even occurred to me.
And I can tell you that we were We got
to the hospital and we were there for five days,
and it was I have a hard time remembering a
lot about it because it was such just a crazy whirlwind.
I remember a lot of doctors, I remember a lot
(04:44):
of information. Mainly I remember my daughter. It's hard to
talk about even because I don't think about it that
much anymore about her. I think about diabetes all the time,
but not about the initial diagnosis. It was really scary
and hard. And you know, diabetes is a lifetime disease,
so you know when you're told that, it's not just
(05:08):
something that you can work on and you know it
will go away, right diabetes, type one diabetes is forever. Well,
that's not true. Who knows what kind of advancements this
world will come up with but for now, that's what
it is, and it is something that has to be regulated,
(05:28):
and there are a lot of different ways that you
have to do that. But it was really, really scary.
And I remember my daughter and she was very small.
She was actually it's funny, she was on We just
put her on growth hormone because she was Rachel was
so so little, and I thought it was the growth
hormone that cause the diabetes, and I was adamant about it,
(05:48):
and it wasn't. And but I knew more than the
doctors at this point. Anyway, I think I was probably
just in denial. So for five days we were in
the hospital and a lot of pricking of Rachel's finger,
a lot of crying, a lot of me trying to
be strong and my husband and sleeping just at the
(06:12):
hospital with her in my arms, and you know, it
was I didn't know anything. It was so scary because
I couldn't even get my head around it. Thankfully, I
have a lot of good friends still to this day
who were there for me then and who held me up.
And I, you know, it's funny, because I talk about diabetes,
there are things and there are illnesses in this world
(06:35):
that are harder. There are illnesses in this world that
are easier. But sometimes I feel a little guilty talking
about how it's affected me and my daughter, and because
I know there are worse things. Diabetes is something. Type
one diabetes is something. I'm trying to be very specific
because they are very different diseases, type one and type two,
(06:55):
and they're often mistaken for each other. But type one
diabetes is something that you can live a long life with,
and you can live a long, healthy life with.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
But it is a very big deal.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
And I always say to Rachel, well, I said to
her a lot more at the beginning, but no one
gets away, right, Everyone in life gets something and has
the challenges. And if this is the one, the challenge
that was dealt to Rachel, it's okay because we can
deal with it.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
That's just what I came up with back in the
day to try to comfort her and to comfort myself
and to comfort my husband and my son. But so
we leave the hospital after five days and begin our journey.
And now all these years later, Rachel's twenty two, it
is still a challenge. And mainly, let me just say this,
(07:50):
it is her challenge and as she has said to
me many times, it is her disease. So I'm you know,
I'm the mother of somebody with this chronic illness, and
it it affects me and it's a fact did my life,
and it's hard, it's really challenging. So and I think
it's funny because as the years have gone on, so
(08:14):
we are my immediately immediate family, we're a family of four.
I think it's affected us all differently. I'm the one
who is I'm probably the most well. I am, probably
even more so than Rachel. I'm just emotional and concerned
and panicky, and that's just nature of my personality and
being a mom. I think Jeff, my husband, is way
(08:36):
more He's not always calm about it, but he handles
it very differently and he is very very on top
of it in a whole different way. But he also,
like Jeff, rarely, I rarely see my husband rattle. And
the times that I have seen him rattled, it's been
when Rachel has been in danger. And to be honest
(09:00):
with you, there have been several occasions in which my
daughter has been in endangered. Type one diabetes is something
that you can control, but it is also it can
be life threatening and really really scary. So I'm telling
you guys sort of how it was, how we diagnosed it,
and some of the symptoms. But I'll tell you a
(09:22):
little bit about what happens with type one diabetes. So
unlike type two, you have to be on insulin. With
type one diabetes, your body does not make insulin, and
it's an autoimmune disease, meaning that your body attacks itself
and it attacks the beta cells, which produce insulin. Without insulin,
(09:43):
you cannot live. So you have to get insulin from,
you know, an outside source. And technology is amazing and
it's changed so much even since Rachel was first diagnosed.
But Rachel wears something called an insulin pump and an
insulin and censor, and these are unbelievably helpful tool, helpful tools.
(10:05):
I think that I would tell any buddy who was diagnosed,
you know, the first thing I would say is look
into these two tools. I would say that to a
parent or to you know, a person who was diagnosed,
because they have helped us so so much. But it
was complicated. You know, Rachel was twelve years old when
she was diagnosed, and what she wanted more than anything
(10:27):
was to fit in and to look like everyone else
at school and to be like everyone else and not
have anything that really set her apart. So middle school
is hard, and this definitely made it harder, and especially
the beginning because she didn't wear a pump.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
And there's a lot that has to happen.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
You have to check your blood sugars every day, at
least four times a day, and that means pricking your
finger and seeing what your numbers are and adjusting and
giving yourself shots of insulin. And you have to do
it before you eat each time. What you eat is
(11:11):
very important, right, So obviously sugar is you try to
avoid sugar if you can, and for a kid age
twelve thirteen, fourteen fifteen, even an adult, that's a very
difficult thing to do.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
But I don't know.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
We got through middle school. We had some instances that
were difficult. We had hospital visits. When your sugar goes
very low, it's a lot scarier than when it goes
very high. And I'm sorry if I'm using, I don't
mean to give I hope, I'm not giving too much information.
I don't want to bore anyone, but low blood sugar
(11:50):
is really scary and is the point. Really is part
of this that's life threatening and my daughter has had
severe lows where you know, we've called ambulances and we've
freaked out. We've had to use something called glucagon, which
(12:12):
is and there's actually something called the squamy now which
is fast acting glucose too. I don't I mean it
is what it is. It's save her really in essence,
and there's so much that you are thinking about all
day every day to make sure that you have glucagon
(12:34):
on hand, that you are connected, checking insulin levels, all
of that.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
It's a hideous disease.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
So one piece of this that's interesting is how it
affected our family dynamic. And to this day, my son
believes that he's probably right. I have baby my daughter,
and it has not been that has not been helpful
(13:05):
to her.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
My daughter's doing great.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
She lives on her own, she has a job, she
lives in New York City, she has French, she does
her thing. But I guess that I was a bit
of a helicopter parent growing up. And you know, if
you ask my son about it, he'll say that she
could have been way more independent. Even now, Like when
(13:31):
my daughter moved to New York City. I always wanted
her to uber. I never want her to take the
subway because I always want to be able to be
in contact with her. And Zach, my son, was like,
she's not a baby anymore, Like she's needs to be
able to take the subway. And you know, my constant
(13:54):
covering gotten way better at it as she's gotten older.
But in terms of our family dynamic, I'm sure it
was annoying. I know it was annoying for her. It
still is, but I think you know, to my son
as well. Anyway, So when Rachel was diagnosed, it felt
(14:17):
like it came so completely out of left field.
Speaker 2 (14:21):
In truth that it didn't.
Speaker 1 (14:23):
So I have a sister who is younger than my daughter,
the whole level of dysfunction that I won't bore everyone
here with, but my father. She's my half sister. So
my father had a baby later in life and she
has Type one diabetes. She was diagnosed, and you know,
(14:47):
I don't speak to her very often. My father is
divorced from her mother, and again she's younger than Rachel.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
But I don't know.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
It's a bizarre thing that it didn't occur to me
at all before Rachel was actually diagnosed that it could
be this. I didn't know that much about it, really,
so I guess it is, you know, part of my genes.
I really wanted to blame my husband for it, but
it apparently came from my side of the family. My husband,
(15:19):
my husband, my father has chronic kidney disease. I've learned
that that's autoimmune as well, and a lot of times,
you know, there's a big umbrella of autoimmune disease and
you're more likely to have Like not to scare anyone,
but if you have I think, let's say crones or colitis,
(15:40):
you're probably more likely to get type one. So they're
all kind of it can be sort of related. I
had to get genetic testing done my husband and my
son did as well, to see what our risk factors were.
But you know, it felt like something so bizarre and
that I had no real attachment to or information about.
(16:03):
Meanwhile that really it's it runs in my family. Well,
here's another interesting thing about the difference between type one
(16:25):
and type two. So people think of when they hear diabetes.
I've noticed that most people think type two diabetes, and
again there's a big difference. So in type two diabetes
your body doesn't make enough insulin, or it's making the
wrong type of insulin not you know, it's not like
(16:46):
in type one, or your body doesn't make it at all.
So that's the first thing. And type one is nottoimmune disease.
Type two is oftentimes comes along with a certain lifestyle
and you tend to get diagnosed it diagnosed with type
two over the age of I believe forty, whereas how
you get type one probably under the age of forty,
(17:08):
and type two you get diagnosed with usually later in life,
and people think of it, and they think of a
lot of times I think obesity. So for instance, my daughter,
both my kids went to Sleepway Camp and Rachel had
a had an incident at Sleepoway Camp when she was young,
(17:31):
probably at this point she was like thirteen, and so
the ambulance came, she had to go to the hospital.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
I had to have a meeting.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
They were not testing her in the right way right,
So although they knew a lot about type one diabetes,
and I had a lot of confidence, and my doctor
recommended that I send her because she had to go
on with her life and be and do the things
that she had done previously to being diagnosed. And part
of that was this wonderful summer camp experience, and I
would be in touch with the they have, you know,
a doctor and a nurse at the camp. Anyway, turned
(18:00):
out that they were testing her blood sugar before she
ate instead of excuse me, after she ate instead of
before she ate, which is like a really ridiculous thing
to do. Blah blah blah. But anyway, so she had
an instant and she went to the hospital and I
had to meet with the camp owners and staff, and
so they said to me that she at one point,
(18:22):
I'll never forget it. Someone said, you know, she really
needs to learn how to manage this and she needs
to know to not eat sugar. Like it was just
the most ridiculous thing, right, So because that person had
no idea what the difference was, like, even if Rachel
doesn't eat sugar, this stuff can happen.
Speaker 2 (18:44):
This is diabetes. Type one.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
Diabetes is a very different thing. She's not overweight, She's
never been overweight. You know a lot of times the
type two you get diagnosed because there's a lack of loactivity, exercise,
and none of that pertains to my daughter. And that
was like such a punch in the gut because it
(19:07):
was almost it almost felt like it was, you know,
like they were guilting me and Rachel really that we
weren't doing something right, and it's just that's just not
the case with type one. And in this meeting, I
actually remained very calm, surprisingly and after consulting with my doctor,
(19:28):
what I wanted to do really was rip her out
of camp and bring her home and make sure she
was safe. And my doctor said, you want her. Message
that you're sending is that she's able to live a
normal life with diabetes. And now that you figured out
what was going on and they were testing your blood
at the wrong time. He suggested to me, he was
(19:49):
this wonderful doctor. I don't recommend to anyone with diabetes
or if you know a loved one, if you have
a loved one with diabetes, the right doctors everything. And
we went through a couple before we found the right one,
and doctor Paul Plievin here in Northern Jersey was the
most understanding patient, wonderful, concerned pediatric and a chronologist. Anyway,
(20:15):
you know, we ended up keeping her at camp that summer,
and I'm really glad we did. I mean, we've tried
to instill on Rachel that you can live a full
life with type one diabetes. You can live a quote
unquote normal life, whatever that means, but you have to
be vigilant about your care and it's always going to
(20:40):
be there. So it's funny because people ask me all
the time how not only Rachel's eating about Rachel's eating habits,
but also, you know, did we change our eating habits
when Rachel was diagnosed? And at the first when Rachel
got diagnosed, I like cleaned out everything in my house
(21:00):
and brought in it was only protein and vegetables and
sugar free jello and sugar free this and sugar free that.
And it's not like that anymore. So type one you
can regulate what you eat with the amount of insulin
that you give yourself, and so it's not just a
matter of if you can't have sugar. It's a little
(21:21):
harder to regulate with with sugar, but it's not impossible,
and you can have sugar and you can have carbohydrates.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
But at the.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
Beginning, we just didn't understand, you know, we didn't get it.
Speaker 2 (21:34):
And so.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
Even I think it was probably even scarier because both
of my kids all of a sudden, we're on we're
basically on a keto diet for lack of a better term.
But and that's changed, right, We've learned. We know so
much more now than we did then. And so Rachel eats.
(21:56):
She's always been a very healthy eater anyway, but she
doesn't go through her life without eating carbs.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
And when you have low blood sugar and specific you
have to eat.
Speaker 1 (22:05):
You have to make sure you're taking in sugar, so sugar, juice, candy,
all of that has been you know, there's been such
a huge learning curve. So and I touched on before,
how thank god for modern medicine. But now with diabetes
(22:27):
there are things like the insulin hump and like and things.
There's something called a sensor and type two diabetics also
use a sensor a lot of times. But a sensor
back in the day, you had to prick your finger.
Even at the beginning with Rachel. You know, imagine this
little girl having to prick her finger and draw blood
four times a day and then give herself a shot.
(22:49):
Not easy, and it's you know a lot of times,
it's painful.
Speaker 2 (22:55):
I mean, she got used to.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
It very quickly. But now Rachel Weares an insulin pump,
and the insulin pump you attached to your body and
it delivers insulin, right, and so there's no more shots
of insulin for us. Occasionally there is, but it is
and it's not painful. This device, the pump attaches to
(23:19):
your body either directly, depending upon which one you choose,
or through a port and delivers insulin. And you can
plug it into your phone. So let's say you're about
to have whatever it is, I don't know, an apple
or something. You learn very quickly how many carbs things have.
So like let's say you're having fifteen grams of carbs,
you plug in the amount of insulin that the pump
should give you.
Speaker 2 (23:40):
But also technology has brought us sensor.
Speaker 1 (23:47):
And a sensor is something that detects what your blood
sugar is.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
It does the job of pricking your finger and testing.
Speaker 1 (23:53):
So with the sensor, I hope I'm not getting too complicated,
you guys, but it this sensor tells you, Okay, so
your blood sugar is high. Let's say you need more insulin,
and it connects to the pump to deliver more insulin.
Or let's say, if your blood sugar is low, you
(24:14):
need less insulin and it turns off the insulin in
the pump. All of this is, you know, back in
the day people got and now I know a lot
of people with type one diabetes, older people, let's say,
and they used to give you I think it was
like pig insulin and there was no way to really
test it. So I don't know if any of you
guys ever saw Steel Magnolia's. In it, Julia Roberts plays
(24:37):
a character that has type one diabetes, and the movie
took on a whole different meaning for me after Rachel
was diagnosed and ultimately she dies, and I a long
time before I could even say Steel Magnolias without just
freaking myself out. But it was a different thing, you know,
back then. And I don't know what your movie is
(24:59):
set in, but I don't know, maybe the early eighties
something like that. And she has some seizures in the movie,
and it's just a different thing, right, And now if
you have type one diabetes, there's so much more assistance,
and they've created something called a closed loop system and
(25:21):
as I was describing, or can they sometime, it's called
an artificial pancreas, And so you have these devices that
sort of talk to each other and help you regulate
your insulin levels and your blood sugar levels. With all
of that being said, it's still every day something that
you need to be thinking about, and not just Rachel.
(25:45):
So we are connected, my husband and I are connected
to Rachel's sensor. What that means is that we get
alerts for Rachel's blood sugar goes too low or too high,
and which is, as you can imagine, a lifesaver, right,
because sometimes if your blood sugar goes low quickly.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
You're just out of it.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
So we've had moments where we get an alert and
we call somebody that we know is around Rachel. First
we call Rachel whore it gets too low, and if
anything really scary happens and it drops very quickly and
we can't get a hold of her, we can call
let's say, now my son is living in the city
a few blocks from Rachel or her roommate. We are
(26:28):
in contact with her friends. That's like a very amazing,
comforting feeling. Thank you to modern medicine and technology. Here's
(26:51):
the other piece of this. It's easier now than it
used to be. But for Rachel having things attached to
your body like a pump pump, well, it depends. They
are all different kinds, but it can look like a
beeper almost and having a sensor attached to your body,
which is just like it's almost like a little circular disc.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
Maybe.
Speaker 1 (27:11):
I don't know if any listeners have seen people walking
around with the sensor, but there are lots of them,
and now, especially because type two diabetics use them. It's
still something that is that makes you different and so
not always easy, and especially I think, I don't know
(27:33):
if it's easier if you're diagnosed when you're really little.
I would think that as a baby, because people are
diagnosed with it when they're really little, it's harder and easier,
you know, in different ways. I think it'd be really scary,
really scary for the parents and maybe for the for
babies growing up with it, it's so normal, you know,
(27:55):
it just becomes part of life. Although I feel like
it has become like that for my daughter as well.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
But you know, picture.
Speaker 1 (28:03):
Meeting boys and especially in college, right and not wanting
to share this really private information all the time, but
it's out there. It's on your body, the pump and
the censor and there are times where Rachel's taking those
things off and it's made us crazy, and we thought
about it, and but it's obviously, really it's understandable that
(28:26):
she doesn't always want to be having to explain to
people what is, you know, her personal health journey. Something
that was actually a really fabulous moment for us, for
all of us, is there was a lot of hiding
when Rachel was young, and as she got older, you know,
(28:48):
a lot less hiding. And one of the greatest things
was that my daughter had just made a decision to
get tape one tattooed on her wrists. I'm not really
a tattooed person. Did not like it when my son
got a huge one on his calf, but it was
a really good day when my daughter put Type one
(29:08):
on her wrist. That is a lot of times where
people wear id bracelets so that if something happens and
let's say, the ambulance comes, they could see the person
is a Type one diabetic. And now to have a
tattooed on her, first of all, it's just this thing
right where you For me, I just felt like just
so proud that she was not, you know, trying to
(29:32):
hide who she was. Anymore, and also really happy that
it would be easily recognizable if she ever had an
instance where the ambulance for the doctor needed to know
what was going on with her. But anyway, I love
that tattoo. I will tell you though, that she has
(29:54):
had it for years, does not like how it looked.
Speaker 2 (29:56):
It was too thick, the writing sloppy. She's getting it.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
She's been the process of getting it removed to put
a way prettier one on. But the type one tattoo
is that was a really really happy day. And I
every time when I think about her, I see her wrists,
I'm just so so proud. You know, we've I guess
we've all come a long way. We have our setbacks.
(30:20):
I have some really scary moments. I have times where
I make her so crazy and we fight and I
have to step back and I have to tell myself
and I talk to my therapist about this a lot.
This is Rachel's disease. This is not my disease. She's
still you know, I consider her to be a young person.
(30:42):
In my job as a mother is to just be
there and and watch, especially you know when your kid
has a chronic illness. As a parent, you want to
be helpful on top of it, and that has not
always been easy in terms of my relationship with my daughter.
(31:02):
And I know that at the end of the day,
she always understands and she always appreciates it, and she always,
you know, she always really like knows that she can
lean on me with this and that we're I want
to say we're in it together.
Speaker 2 (31:18):
I don't know how true that is.
Speaker 1 (31:20):
I mean, I would take it from her if anyone
offered it to me, I would happily be the one
to have it instead of her. And I think she
knows that. But I do want to give some good news.
Speaker 2 (31:35):
If I can. I feel.
Speaker 1 (31:39):
Like hype one diabetes changed my daughter. I mean again,
she was twelve when she was diagnosed. But my daughter
is such an empathetic human and I don't know if
that's necessarily because she's you know, she has a chronic illness. Listen,
everything makes me cry when I talk about this stuff.
(32:01):
You know, if there's good news, I think it's made me.
I know it's made me more empathetic. It's it's different,
you get it. You sort of have a different way
of looking at the world. I think when you when
you have health issues right, And I know as I
(32:21):
heard her talk about it that for sure it cancer
changed Shannon, and I don't I wouldn't wish cancer on anyone,
or type one diabetes, but maybe your worldview changes, maybe
for the better, Maybe not for everyone, maybe just for us.
(32:42):
But my daughter is in many ways a typical twenty
two year old, but in a lot of ways she's
an older soul, and she's been through stuff, and I've
been through stuff with her. And I think that it's
easier for us us too than it would have been
(33:03):
for us to have empathy and to prioritize I don't know,
to know sometimes what's important, not that we wouldn't have,
but to we have such our relationship is.
Speaker 2 (33:18):
So special to both of us.
Speaker 1 (33:19):
And you know my husband, watching him going through this
and being able to lean on him and watching him
with his daughter, it has given me such unbelievable respect
and admiration for him. I mean, he is always so
steady when I am not, and you know my son,
(33:43):
knowing that he's now. They live in the city, only
a couple of blocks from each other, and all I
have to is pick up the phone and call my
son and he runs wherever he needs to run to.
And they are My son and my daughter are very close.
I'm thrilled to say to report that you know, would
they have been, Yeah, I hope that they would have been.
But you know, this family, my family, and it's not
(34:05):
just type of diabetes. We've been through stuff. I don't know,
it's you know, life is hard, period. No one as
I always as I mentioned before, I always say to Rachel,
no one gets away. Certain things are easier than other things.
I try, we try to look at this and say, okay, this,
if this is Rachel's thing, it's manageable. You know, you
(34:31):
can live with it. And there are things that happen.
And I've had plenty of friends that have had disease
that unfortunately have taken their lives. And you know, shit
is hard and this is hard. And if I how
to give advice to someone who is either newly diagnosed
(34:53):
or had a loved one who was diagnosed, I could
speak more to sort of having a child right who
was diagnosed with type one, and I would say the
first piece of advice I would give is to find
someone else who was it, or a mom who has
a child that has it, and that was so unbelievably
(35:15):
important in my journey because I had a friend with
type one diabetes, and our doctor put us in touch
with other people who had type one diabetes, and I
joined Facebook pages with you know, type one facebook pages,
and then back then I was not really was an Instagram,
was actually Facebook. But that was helpful just to figure
(35:39):
out what to do, if, what to do when how
people were handling it. At times it was too much,
There was a lot there were certain pages that were
just filled with gloom and doom and they were too
scary and not uplifting. But you know, having a support
system of people that understand what it is, I would say,
(36:00):
is really very important. And I mean Rachel and I
both tried to pay it forward in terms of talking
to people that are type one diabetics and people that
are newly diagnosed, and it's really, I think, so comforting
to know that you're not alone, and with type one
(36:22):
you're not I mean, it's a very very small percentage
of the population. I want to say, maybe I don't know.
I actually don't have the exact numbers in terms of diabetes.
I want to say, like eight percent of diabetics or
type one and the rest are type two. So it's
a niche, little disease, but there is a lot of
support out there for it, and JDRF is an organization.
(36:48):
Juvenile diabetes is what. Actually, I don't know if everybody's
calling it that anymore, because type one is not only
disease that you get when you're a juvenile, but it
is a fabulous organization that has helped so many and
raised so much money. And we, especially when Rachel was younger,
we would go on these on these walks, these fundraising walks,
(37:08):
and you know, everyone there was there supporting a loved
one or had Type one. There were companies there that
were talking about pumps and sensors and I don't know,
and just being in big crowds of people like that
was really really helpful. I think at the beginning, as
you know, a little girl, Rachel was probably more resistant
(37:29):
to that kind of stuff.
Speaker 2 (37:30):
But as.
Speaker 1 (37:32):
She's grown up, we all are so appreciative of support
and of the feeling of community that is absolutely out
there if you happen to have this disease. I don't know,
I mean, I'm I'd love to say something uplifting about
all of this, and there is that I mean, like
(37:53):
I said, I think that it's changed us, and it's
been a challenge, and it is a challenge every single day.
But I am so in awe of woman that my
daughter is. And it's I sometimes don't even give her
enough credit, you know, I don't have to think about
it all day. Every day, Rachel is thinking about it,
(38:15):
changing her pump, hunching in her numbers, having juice on
hand and glucagon or bsquamy on hand just in case.
And when she goes out, there's a lot of times
that you know she's had a low blood sugar. It
looks a lot like actually like being drunk, and so
making sure not to get you know, even when she
(38:36):
wants to to inebriate it because it could be that
can sort of make you vulnerable to low blood sugars.
I mean, there's just a lot, and it's it's a constant.
It's something that even though you can live with it,
it's something that you can't ignore ever, ever, ever. And
there's a lot of emotional ups and downs, there's physical
(38:58):
ups and downs. I've never had to sperience, you know,
high blood sugar and low blood sugar like my daughter has,
and how that feels physically and that there's a toll
that it takes on your body. So you know, Rachel
is become a warrior. I think there are also so
many advancements that I'm reading about now and things that
(39:18):
are happening all the time to make the management of
diabetes easier, and we are so grateful for that. And
I listen, I wouldn't wish it on anyone, but I
would say that it's something that you learn to live
with and that you can thankfully live with, and that
(39:40):
is getting easier. And I guess, like all other challenges
in life, it changes you. And I think, you know,
it probably has changed us for the better. It has
I can't I don't want to say probably. My daughter
is strong, and she is kind, and she is deep
(40:03):
and sees the world, you know, in a way that
maybe she wouldn't have. So I guess, I guess, you know,
that's the good news, and grateful just to have this
platform discuss it.
Speaker 2 (40:17):
I you know, I'm.
Speaker 1 (40:18):
On the Real Housewives, or I was in the Real Housewise,
I don't know what's happening with the Real Housewives, but
try to be very careful and respectful of each light
definitely got clearance from her before I, you know, went
on and talked about her disease on this podcast. I
don't talk about it that often, but it's always with me,
(40:38):
even more so it's with her, and I'm grateful and
I hope, I hope maybe this helped anyone out there
who's listening. My Instagram is Jen two ends Fessler. D
M me anytime, you know, questions or advice or whatever
it is. I'm definitely that those are DMS that I
(41:01):
want to answer.
Speaker 2 (41:03):
And that's it. I guess.
Speaker 1 (41:04):
Thank you guys so much for having me. I appreciate it,
and I'm sending love to all of you, and thanks
for listening.
This is Let's Be Clear with Shannon Doherty. Hello, let's
be clear listeners. My name is Jen Fessler, and you
may know me from the Real Housewives of New Jersey.
I also co host a podcast with my friend Jackie
Goldschneider called Who Jersey Jays. And let me just start
out by saying that I am so honored to be
(00:25):
guest hosting Shannon Doherty's podcast. I grew up really wanting
to be Brenda. To unlock my computer screen, it's nine
oh two one oh. Every time I unlock it, I
think about just Beverly Hills nine O two one oh, Shannon, Brenda.
(00:45):
They are such a huge part of growing up for
me and thinking about her. I guess at that time
it was like the character, right, So thinking about Brenda.
I had dark hair, I wanted to look like her.
I wanted my boyfriend to be Luke Perry. There was just,
you know, it sort of ingrained in me. Is this
(01:05):
memory of Shannon acting on nine O two one zero,
And then as I got older, just this unbelievable admiration
that I had and have for her and what she
went through and how brave that she was fighting her
battle and so It is really an unbelievable and unbelievable
(01:28):
honor for me to be here. And I was asked
to be here because I do, like all of us,
I have a story. And I say I have a story.
It's my story. It's also my daughter's story. So I'll
tell you that my daughter, at age twelve, was diagnosed
(01:48):
with a chronic disease. She was diagnosed with type one diabetes.
And I don't know if any of you listeners either
have had HYPE one or have type one yourself, or
know someone. It's complicated disease. It's an autoimmune disease. It's
very different from type two diabetes. But let me start.
(02:11):
I'm just going to kind of tell you my story,
our story. It's complicated, right, Like I'm always trying to
figure out how much of this is about me and
how much of this is about my daughter, Rachel. I
think probably the answer is it's all about Rachel, but
it definitely affects me, and it affects our family, and
it's changed all of our lives. So when Rachel was
(02:34):
twelve years old she is twenty two today, she had
been feeling a lot of thirst and it just seemed
kind of funny and not anything meaningful. But she was
always thirsty and she was going to the bathroom a lot,
a lot of urination, and I really didn't think much
about it. The irony of that is that I'm a
(02:56):
huge hypochondriac and so and with my kids, I was
definitely I tried not to be, but I was definitely
overbearing with them, and any little health issue that they had,
and any little sickness I would you know, in my
mind it would turn into something huge and scary and overwhelming. Meanwhile,
(03:17):
I didn't even think diabetes. When Rachel started experiencing some
of the symptoms of it. It was my husband who
said to me on a Sunday, she needs to go
to the doctor. She this is weird and I want
her to get tested for diabetes. I was like, Jeff,
please don't be ridiculous. So funny to think back now,
(03:39):
because every little thing to me, I escalates really quickly.
Just part of my own mental health but issues. But anyway,
so I took her to the doctor on a Sunday
and they pricked her little finger and they said, you
need to go to the hospital. Her blood sugar is
five hundred and something. I really didn't know what that
(04:01):
meant at the time, but that's really really high, a
high level of sugar in your blood. So we went
to Valley Hospital here in New Jersey, and there was
no way that my daughter had type one diabetes. It
actually is not that far fetched. I'll talk about that
a little bit because there is type one diabetes in
(04:23):
my family, but it just never even occurred to me.
And I can tell you that we were We got
to the hospital and we were there for five days,
and it was I have a hard time remembering a
lot about it because it was such just a crazy whirlwind.
I remember a lot of doctors, I remember a lot
(04:44):
of information. Mainly I remember my daughter. It's hard to
talk about even because I don't think about it that
much anymore about her. I think about diabetes all the time,
but not about the initial diagnosis. It was really scary
and hard. And you know, diabetes is a lifetime disease,
so you know when you're told that, it's not just
(05:08):
something that you can work on and you know it
will go away, right diabetes, type one diabetes is forever. Well,
that's not true. Who knows what kind of advancements this
world will come up with but for now, that's what
it is, and it is something that has to be regulated,
(05:28):
and there are a lot of different ways that you
have to do that. But it was really, really scary.
And I remember my daughter and she was very small.
She was actually it's funny, she was on We just
put her on growth hormone because she was Rachel was
so so little, and I thought it was the growth
hormone that cause the diabetes, and I was adamant about it,
(05:48):
and it wasn't. And but I knew more than the
doctors at this point. Anyway, I think I was probably
just in denial. So for five days we were in
the hospital and a lot of pricking of Rachel's finger,
a lot of crying, a lot of me trying to
be strong and my husband and sleeping just at the
(06:12):
hospital with her in my arms, and you know, it
was I didn't know anything. It was so scary because
I couldn't even get my head around it. Thankfully, I
have a lot of good friends still to this day
who were there for me then and who held me up.
And I, you know, it's funny, because I talk about diabetes,
there are things and there are illnesses in this world
(06:35):
that are harder. There are illnesses in this world that
are easier. But sometimes I feel a little guilty talking
about how it's affected me and my daughter, and because
I know there are worse things. Diabetes is something. Type
one diabetes is something. I'm trying to be very specific
because they are very different diseases, type one and type two,
(06:55):
and they're often mistaken for each other. But type one
diabetes is something that you can live a long life with,
and you can live a long, healthy life with.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
But it is a very big deal.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
And I always say to Rachel, well, I said to
her a lot more at the beginning, but no one
gets away, right, Everyone in life gets something and has
the challenges. And if this is the one, the challenge
that was dealt to Rachel, it's okay because we can
deal with it.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
That's just what I came up with back in the
day to try to comfort her and to comfort myself
and to comfort my husband and my son. But so
we leave the hospital after five days and begin our journey.
And now all these years later, Rachel's twenty two, it
is still a challenge. And mainly, let me just say this,
(07:50):
it is her challenge and as she has said to
me many times, it is her disease. So I'm you know,
I'm the mother of somebody with this chronic illness, and
it it affects me and it's a fact did my life,
and it's hard, it's really challenging. So and I think
it's funny because as the years have gone on, so
(08:14):
we are my immediately immediate family, we're a family of four.
I think it's affected us all differently. I'm the one
who is I'm probably the most well. I am, probably
even more so than Rachel. I'm just emotional and concerned
and panicky, and that's just nature of my personality and
being a mom. I think Jeff, my husband, is way
(08:36):
more He's not always calm about it, but he handles
it very differently and he is very very on top
of it in a whole different way. But he also,
like Jeff, rarely, I rarely see my husband rattle. And
the times that I have seen him rattled, it's been
when Rachel has been in danger. And to be honest
(09:00):
with you, there have been several occasions in which my
daughter has been in endangered. Type one diabetes is something
that you can control, but it is also it can
be life threatening and really really scary. So I'm telling
you guys sort of how it was, how we diagnosed it,
and some of the symptoms. But I'll tell you a
(09:22):
little bit about what happens with type one diabetes. So
unlike type two, you have to be on insulin. With
type one diabetes, your body does not make insulin, and
it's an autoimmune disease, meaning that your body attacks itself
and it attacks the beta cells, which produce insulin. Without insulin,
(09:43):
you cannot live. So you have to get insulin from,
you know, an outside source. And technology is amazing and
it's changed so much even since Rachel was first diagnosed.
But Rachel wears something called an insulin pump and an
insulin and censor, and these are unbelievably helpful tool, helpful tools.
(10:05):
I think that I would tell any buddy who was diagnosed,
you know, the first thing I would say is look
into these two tools. I would say that to a
parent or to you know, a person who was diagnosed,
because they have helped us so so much. But it
was complicated. You know, Rachel was twelve years old when
she was diagnosed, and what she wanted more than anything
(10:27):
was to fit in and to look like everyone else
at school and to be like everyone else and not
have anything that really set her apart. So middle school
is hard, and this definitely made it harder, and especially
the beginning because she didn't wear a pump.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
And there's a lot that has to happen.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
You have to check your blood sugars every day, at
least four times a day, and that means pricking your
finger and seeing what your numbers are and adjusting and
giving yourself shots of insulin. And you have to do
it before you eat each time. What you eat is
(11:11):
very important, right, So obviously sugar is you try to
avoid sugar if you can, and for a kid age
twelve thirteen, fourteen fifteen, even an adult, that's a very
difficult thing to do.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
But I don't know.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
We got through middle school. We had some instances that
were difficult. We had hospital visits. When your sugar goes
very low, it's a lot scarier than when it goes
very high. And I'm sorry if I'm using, I don't
mean to give I hope, I'm not giving too much information.
I don't want to bore anyone, but low blood sugar
(11:50):
is really scary and is the point. Really is part
of this that's life threatening and my daughter has had
severe lows where you know, we've called ambulances and we've
freaked out. We've had to use something called glucagon, which
(12:12):
is and there's actually something called the squamy now which
is fast acting glucose too. I don't I mean it
is what it is. It's save her really in essence,
and there's so much that you are thinking about all
day every day to make sure that you have glucagon
(12:34):
on hand, that you are connected, checking insulin levels, all
of that.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
It's a hideous disease.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
So one piece of this that's interesting is how it
affected our family dynamic. And to this day, my son
believes that he's probably right. I have baby my daughter,
and it has not been that has not been helpful
(13:05):
to her.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
My daughter's doing great.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
She lives on her own, she has a job, she
lives in New York City, she has French, she does
her thing. But I guess that I was a bit
of a helicopter parent growing up. And you know, if
you ask my son about it, he'll say that she
could have been way more independent. Even now, Like when
(13:31):
my daughter moved to New York City. I always wanted
her to uber. I never want her to take the
subway because I always want to be able to be
in contact with her. And Zach, my son, was like,
she's not a baby anymore, Like she's needs to be
able to take the subway. And you know, my constant
(13:54):
covering gotten way better at it as she's gotten older.
But in terms of our family dynamic, I'm sure it
was annoying. I know it was annoying for her. It
still is, but I think you know, to my son
as well. Anyway, So when Rachel was diagnosed, it felt
(14:17):
like it came so completely out of left field.
Speaker 2 (14:21):
In truth that it didn't.
Speaker 1 (14:23):
So I have a sister who is younger than my daughter,
the whole level of dysfunction that I won't bore everyone
here with, but my father. She's my half sister. So
my father had a baby later in life and she
has Type one diabetes. She was diagnosed, and you know,
(14:47):
I don't speak to her very often. My father is
divorced from her mother, and again she's younger than Rachel.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
But I don't know.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
It's a bizarre thing that it didn't occur to me
at all before Rachel was actually diagnosed that it could
be this. I didn't know that much about it, really,
so I guess it is, you know, part of my genes.
I really wanted to blame my husband for it, but
it apparently came from my side of the family. My husband,
(15:19):
my husband, my father has chronic kidney disease. I've learned
that that's autoimmune as well, and a lot of times,
you know, there's a big umbrella of autoimmune disease and
you're more likely to have Like not to scare anyone,
but if you have I think, let's say crones or colitis,
(15:40):
you're probably more likely to get type one. So they're
all kind of it can be sort of related. I
had to get genetic testing done my husband and my
son did as well, to see what our risk factors were.
But you know, it felt like something so bizarre and
that I had no real attachment to or information about.
(16:03):
Meanwhile that really it's it runs in my family. Well,
here's another interesting thing about the difference between type one
(16:25):
and type two. So people think of when they hear diabetes.
I've noticed that most people think type two diabetes, and
again there's a big difference. So in type two diabetes
your body doesn't make enough insulin, or it's making the
wrong type of insulin not you know, it's not like
(16:46):
in type one, or your body doesn't make it at all.
So that's the first thing. And type one is nottoimmune disease.
Type two is oftentimes comes along with a certain lifestyle
and you tend to get diagnosed it diagnosed with type
two over the age of I believe forty, whereas how
you get type one probably under the age of forty,
(17:08):
and type two you get diagnosed with usually later in life,
and people think of it, and they think of a
lot of times I think obesity. So for instance, my daughter,
both my kids went to Sleepway Camp and Rachel had
a had an incident at Sleepoway Camp when she was young,
(17:31):
probably at this point she was like thirteen, and so
the ambulance came, she had to go to the hospital.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
I had to have a meeting.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
They were not testing her in the right way right,
So although they knew a lot about type one diabetes,
and I had a lot of confidence, and my doctor
recommended that I send her because she had to go
on with her life and be and do the things
that she had done previously to being diagnosed. And part
of that was this wonderful summer camp experience, and I
would be in touch with the they have, you know,
a doctor and a nurse at the camp. Anyway, turned
(18:00):
out that they were testing her blood sugar before she
ate instead of excuse me, after she ate instead of
before she ate, which is like a really ridiculous thing
to do. Blah blah blah. But anyway, so she had
an instant and she went to the hospital and I
had to meet with the camp owners and staff, and
so they said to me that she at one point,
(18:22):
I'll never forget it. Someone said, you know, she really
needs to learn how to manage this and she needs
to know to not eat sugar. Like it was just
the most ridiculous thing, right, So because that person had
no idea what the difference was, like, even if Rachel
doesn't eat sugar, this stuff can happen.
Speaker 2 (18:44):
This is diabetes. Type one.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
Diabetes is a very different thing. She's not overweight, She's
never been overweight. You know a lot of times the
type two you get diagnosed because there's a lack of loactivity, exercise,
and none of that pertains to my daughter. And that
was like such a punch in the gut because it
(19:07):
was almost it almost felt like it was, you know,
like they were guilting me and Rachel really that we
weren't doing something right, and it's just that's just not
the case with type one. And in this meeting, I
actually remained very calm, surprisingly and after consulting with my doctor,
(19:28):
what I wanted to do really was rip her out
of camp and bring her home and make sure she
was safe. And my doctor said, you want her. Message
that you're sending is that she's able to live a
normal life with diabetes. And now that you figured out
what was going on and they were testing your blood
at the wrong time. He suggested to me, he was
(19:49):
this wonderful doctor. I don't recommend to anyone with diabetes
or if you know a loved one, if you have
a loved one with diabetes, the right doctors everything. And
we went through a couple before we found the right one,
and doctor Paul Plievin here in Northern Jersey was the
most understanding patient, wonderful, concerned pediatric and a chronologist. Anyway,
(20:15):
you know, we ended up keeping her at camp that summer,
and I'm really glad we did. I mean, we've tried
to instill on Rachel that you can live a full
life with type one diabetes. You can live a quote
unquote normal life, whatever that means, but you have to
be vigilant about your care and it's always going to
(20:40):
be there. So it's funny because people ask me all
the time how not only Rachel's eating about Rachel's eating habits,
but also, you know, did we change our eating habits
when Rachel was diagnosed? And at the first when Rachel
got diagnosed, I like cleaned out everything in my house
(21:00):
and brought in it was only protein and vegetables and
sugar free jello and sugar free this and sugar free that.
And it's not like that anymore. So type one you
can regulate what you eat with the amount of insulin
that you give yourself, and so it's not just a
matter of if you can't have sugar. It's a little
(21:21):
harder to regulate with with sugar, but it's not impossible,
and you can have sugar and you can have carbohydrates.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
But at the.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
Beginning, we just didn't understand, you know, we didn't get it.
Speaker 2 (21:34):
And so.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
Even I think it was probably even scarier because both
of my kids all of a sudden, we're on we're
basically on a keto diet for lack of a better term.
But and that's changed, right, We've learned. We know so
much more now than we did then. And so Rachel eats.
(21:56):
She's always been a very healthy eater anyway, but she
doesn't go through her life without eating carbs.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
And when you have low blood sugar and specific you
have to eat.
Speaker 1 (22:05):
You have to make sure you're taking in sugar, so sugar, juice, candy,
all of that has been you know, there's been such
a huge learning curve. So and I touched on before,
how thank god for modern medicine. But now with diabetes
(22:27):
there are things like the insulin hump and like and things.
There's something called a sensor and type two diabetics also
use a sensor a lot of times. But a sensor
back in the day, you had to prick your finger.
Even at the beginning with Rachel. You know, imagine this
little girl having to prick her finger and draw blood
four times a day and then give herself a shot.
(22:49):
Not easy, and it's you know a lot of times,
it's painful.
Speaker 2 (22:55):
I mean, she got used to.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
It very quickly. But now Rachel Weares an insulin pump,
and the insulin pump you attached to your body and
it delivers insulin, right, and so there's no more shots
of insulin for us. Occasionally there is, but it is
and it's not painful. This device, the pump attaches to
(23:19):
your body either directly, depending upon which one you choose,
or through a port and delivers insulin. And you can
plug it into your phone. So let's say you're about
to have whatever it is, I don't know, an apple
or something. You learn very quickly how many carbs things have.
So like let's say you're having fifteen grams of carbs,
you plug in the amount of insulin that the pump
should give you.
Speaker 2 (23:40):
But also technology has brought us sensor.
Speaker 1 (23:47):
And a sensor is something that detects what your blood
sugar is.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
It does the job of pricking your finger and testing.
Speaker 1 (23:53):
So with the sensor, I hope I'm not getting too complicated,
you guys, but it this sensor tells you, Okay, so
your blood sugar is high. Let's say you need more insulin,
and it connects to the pump to deliver more insulin.
Or let's say, if your blood sugar is low, you
(24:14):
need less insulin and it turns off the insulin in
the pump. All of this is, you know, back in
the day people got and now I know a lot
of people with type one diabetes, older people, let's say,
and they used to give you I think it was
like pig insulin and there was no way to really
test it. So I don't know if any of you
guys ever saw Steel Magnolia's. In it, Julia Roberts plays
(24:37):
a character that has type one diabetes, and the movie
took on a whole different meaning for me after Rachel
was diagnosed and ultimately she dies, and I a long
time before I could even say Steel Magnolias without just
freaking myself out. But it was a different thing, you know,
back then. And I don't know what your movie is
(24:59):
set in, but I don't know, maybe the early eighties
something like that. And she has some seizures in the movie,
and it's just a different thing, right, And now if
you have type one diabetes, there's so much more assistance,
and they've created something called a closed loop system and
(25:21):
as I was describing, or can they sometime, it's called
an artificial pancreas, And so you have these devices that
sort of talk to each other and help you regulate
your insulin levels and your blood sugar levels. With all
of that being said, it's still every day something that
you need to be thinking about, and not just Rachel.
(25:45):
So we are connected, my husband and I are connected
to Rachel's sensor. What that means is that we get
alerts for Rachel's blood sugar goes too low or too high,
and which is, as you can imagine, a lifesaver, right,
because sometimes if your blood sugar goes low quickly.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
You're just out of it.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
So we've had moments where we get an alert and
we call somebody that we know is around Rachel. First
we call Rachel whore it gets too low, and if
anything really scary happens and it drops very quickly and
we can't get a hold of her, we can call
let's say, now my son is living in the city
a few blocks from Rachel or her roommate. We are
(26:28):
in contact with her friends. That's like a very amazing,
comforting feeling. Thank you to modern medicine and technology. Here's
(26:51):
the other piece of this. It's easier now than it
used to be. But for Rachel having things attached to
your body like a pump pump, well, it depends. They
are all different kinds, but it can look like a
beeper almost and having a sensor attached to your body,
which is just like it's almost like a little circular disc.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
Maybe.
Speaker 1 (27:11):
I don't know if any listeners have seen people walking
around with the sensor, but there are lots of them,
and now, especially because type two diabetics use them. It's
still something that is that makes you different and so
not always easy, and especially I think, I don't know
(27:33):
if it's easier if you're diagnosed when you're really little.
I would think that as a baby, because people are
diagnosed with it when they're really little, it's harder and easier,
you know, in different ways. I think it'd be really scary,
really scary for the parents and maybe for the for
babies growing up with it, it's so normal, you know,
(27:55):
it just becomes part of life. Although I feel like
it has become like that for my daughter as well.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
But you know, picture.
Speaker 1 (28:03):
Meeting boys and especially in college, right and not wanting
to share this really private information all the time, but
it's out there. It's on your body, the pump and
the censor and there are times where Rachel's taking those
things off and it's made us crazy, and we thought
about it, and but it's obviously, really it's understandable that
(28:26):
she doesn't always want to be having to explain to
people what is, you know, her personal health journey. Something
that was actually a really fabulous moment for us, for
all of us, is there was a lot of hiding
when Rachel was young, and as she got older, you know,
(28:48):
a lot less hiding. And one of the greatest things
was that my daughter had just made a decision to
get tape one tattooed on her wrists. I'm not really
a tattooed person. Did not like it when my son
got a huge one on his calf, but it was
a really good day when my daughter put Type one
(29:08):
on her wrist. That is a lot of times where
people wear id bracelets so that if something happens and
let's say, the ambulance comes, they could see the person
is a Type one diabetic. And now to have a
tattooed on her, first of all, it's just this thing
right where you For me, I just felt like just
so proud that she was not, you know, trying to
(29:32):
hide who she was. Anymore, and also really happy that
it would be easily recognizable if she ever had an
instance where the ambulance for the doctor needed to know
what was going on with her. But anyway, I love
that tattoo. I will tell you though, that she has
(29:54):
had it for years, does not like how it looked.
Speaker 2 (29:56):
It was too thick, the writing sloppy. She's getting it.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
She's been the process of getting it removed to put
a way prettier one on. But the type one tattoo
is that was a really really happy day. And I
every time when I think about her, I see her wrists,
I'm just so so proud. You know, we've I guess
we've all come a long way. We have our setbacks.
(30:20):
I have some really scary moments. I have times where
I make her so crazy and we fight and I
have to step back and I have to tell myself
and I talk to my therapist about this a lot.
This is Rachel's disease. This is not my disease. She's
still you know, I consider her to be a young person.
(30:42):
In my job as a mother is to just be
there and and watch, especially you know when your kid
has a chronic illness. As a parent, you want to
be helpful on top of it, and that has not
always been easy in terms of my relationship with my daughter.
(31:02):
And I know that at the end of the day,
she always understands and she always appreciates it, and she always,
you know, she always really like knows that she can
lean on me with this and that we're I want
to say we're in it together.
Speaker 2 (31:18):
I don't know how true that is.
Speaker 1 (31:20):
I mean, I would take it from her if anyone
offered it to me, I would happily be the one
to have it instead of her. And I think she
knows that. But I do want to give some good news.
Speaker 2 (31:35):
If I can. I feel.
Speaker 1 (31:39):
Like hype one diabetes changed my daughter. I mean again,
she was twelve when she was diagnosed. But my daughter
is such an empathetic human and I don't know if
that's necessarily because she's you know, she has a chronic illness. Listen,
everything makes me cry when I talk about this stuff.
(32:01):
You know, if there's good news, I think it's made me.
I know it's made me more empathetic. It's it's different,
you get it. You sort of have a different way
of looking at the world. I think when you when
you have health issues right, And I know as I
(32:21):
heard her talk about it that for sure it cancer
changed Shannon, and I don't I wouldn't wish cancer on anyone,
or type one diabetes, but maybe your worldview changes, maybe
for the better, Maybe not for everyone, maybe just for us.
(32:42):
But my daughter is in many ways a typical twenty
two year old, but in a lot of ways she's
an older soul, and she's been through stuff, and I've
been through stuff with her. And I think that it's
easier for us us too than it would have been
(33:03):
for us to have empathy and to prioritize I don't know,
to know sometimes what's important, not that we wouldn't have,
but to we have such our relationship is.
Speaker 2 (33:18):
So special to both of us.
Speaker 1 (33:19):
And you know my husband, watching him going through this
and being able to lean on him and watching him
with his daughter, it has given me such unbelievable respect
and admiration for him. I mean, he is always so
steady when I am not, and you know my son,
(33:43):
knowing that he's now. They live in the city, only
a couple of blocks from each other, and all I
have to is pick up the phone and call my
son and he runs wherever he needs to run to.
And they are My son and my daughter are very close.
I'm thrilled to say to report that you know, would
they have been, Yeah, I hope that they would have been.
But you know, this family, my family, and it's not
(34:05):
just type of diabetes. We've been through stuff. I don't know,
it's you know, life is hard, period. No one as
I always as I mentioned before, I always say to Rachel,
no one gets away. Certain things are easier than other things.
I try, we try to look at this and say, okay, this,
if this is Rachel's thing, it's manageable. You know, you
(34:31):
can live with it. And there are things that happen.
And I've had plenty of friends that have had disease
that unfortunately have taken their lives. And you know, shit
is hard and this is hard. And if I how
to give advice to someone who is either newly diagnosed
(34:53):
or had a loved one who was diagnosed, I could
speak more to sort of having a child right who
was diagnosed with type one, and I would say the
first piece of advice I would give is to find
someone else who was it, or a mom who has
a child that has it, and that was so unbelievably
(35:15):
important in my journey because I had a friend with
type one diabetes, and our doctor put us in touch
with other people who had type one diabetes, and I
joined Facebook pages with you know, type one facebook pages,
and then back then I was not really was an Instagram,
was actually Facebook. But that was helpful just to figure
(35:39):
out what to do, if, what to do when how
people were handling it. At times it was too much,
There was a lot there were certain pages that were
just filled with gloom and doom and they were too
scary and not uplifting. But you know, having a support
system of people that understand what it is, I would say,
(36:00):
is really very important. And I mean Rachel and I
both tried to pay it forward in terms of talking
to people that are type one diabetics and people that
are newly diagnosed, and it's really, I think, so comforting
to know that you're not alone, and with type one
(36:22):
you're not I mean, it's a very very small percentage
of the population. I want to say, maybe I don't know.
I actually don't have the exact numbers in terms of diabetes.
I want to say, like eight percent of diabetics or
type one and the rest are type two. So it's
a niche, little disease, but there is a lot of
support out there for it, and JDRF is an organization.
(36:48):
Juvenile diabetes is what. Actually, I don't know if everybody's
calling it that anymore, because type one is not only
disease that you get when you're a juvenile, but it
is a fabulous organization that has helped so many and
raised so much money. And we, especially when Rachel was younger,
we would go on these on these walks, these fundraising walks,
(37:08):
and you know, everyone there was there supporting a loved
one or had Type one. There were companies there that
were talking about pumps and sensors and I don't know,
and just being in big crowds of people like that
was really really helpful. I think at the beginning, as
you know, a little girl, Rachel was probably more resistant
(37:29):
to that kind of stuff.
Speaker 2 (37:30):
But as.
Speaker 1 (37:32):
She's grown up, we all are so appreciative of support
and of the feeling of community that is absolutely out
there if you happen to have this disease. I don't know,
I mean, I'm I'd love to say something uplifting about
all of this, and there is that I mean, like
(37:53):
I said, I think that it's changed us, and it's
been a challenge, and it is a challenge every single day.
But I am so in awe of woman that my
daughter is. And it's I sometimes don't even give her
enough credit, you know, I don't have to think about
it all day. Every day, Rachel is thinking about it,
(38:15):
changing her pump, hunching in her numbers, having juice on
hand and glucagon or bsquamy on hand just in case.
And when she goes out, there's a lot of times
that you know she's had a low blood sugar. It
looks a lot like actually like being drunk, and so
making sure not to get you know, even when she
(38:36):
wants to to inebriate it because it could be that
can sort of make you vulnerable to low blood sugars.
I mean, there's just a lot, and it's it's a constant.
It's something that even though you can live with it,
it's something that you can't ignore ever, ever, ever. And
there's a lot of emotional ups and downs, there's physical
(38:58):
ups and downs. I've never had to sperience, you know,
high blood sugar and low blood sugar like my daughter has,
and how that feels physically and that there's a toll
that it takes on your body. So you know, Rachel
is become a warrior. I think there are also so
many advancements that I'm reading about now and things that
(39:18):
are happening all the time to make the management of
diabetes easier, and we are so grateful for that. And
I listen, I wouldn't wish it on anyone, but I
would say that it's something that you learn to live
with and that you can thankfully live with, and that
(39:40):
is getting easier. And I guess, like all other challenges
in life, it changes you. And I think, you know,
it probably has changed us for the better. It has
I can't I don't want to say probably. My daughter
is strong, and she is kind, and she is deep
(40:03):
and sees the world, you know, in a way that
maybe she wouldn't have. So I guess, I guess, you know,
that's the good news, and grateful just to have this
platform discuss it.
Speaker 2 (40:17):
I you know, I'm.
Speaker 1 (40:18):
On the Real Housewives, or I was in the Real Housewise,
I don't know what's happening with the Real Housewives, but
try to be very careful and respectful of each light
definitely got clearance from her before I, you know, went
on and talked about her disease on this podcast. I
don't talk about it that often, but it's always with me,
(40:38):
even more so it's with her, and I'm grateful and
I hope, I hope maybe this helped anyone out there
who's listening. My Instagram is Jen two ends Fessler. D
M me anytime, you know, questions or advice or whatever
it is. I'm definitely that those are DMS that I
(41:01):
want to answer.
Speaker 2 (41:03):
And that's it. I guess.
Speaker 1 (41:04):
Thank you guys so much for having me. I appreciate it,
and I'm sending love to all of you, and thanks
for listening.
Host
Shannen Doherty
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