March 4, 2025 • 62 mins
We grew up believing in the American Dream—the idea that if you work hard enough, you’ll own a home, build wealth, and create a better life. But for many of us, especially as children of immigrants, that dream feels further out of reach than ever. With skyrocketing housing costs, stagnant wages, and an economy that seems stacked against us, is the American Dream even real? Or is it time to redefine success on our own terms? In this episode, we break down the myths, the realities, and what it means to build a future that actually works for us.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
Let me talk about there we go. He said, you
live in life as a lingo, where you question where
you fit in every time you mingle, they say you
do this would not of that my rappin is really man.
This life pas a lingo. Yes, hello, and welcome to
another life. As a lingo, I am dramas of us
(00:27):
and man today. I mean, it's all of the chaos
that's happening in this world right now, especially this country,
but I just think the world as a whole. I
was reading a statistic about Puerto Rico that I thought
was not only obviously relevant if you are concerned with
(00:52):
things going on in the island and you know, like myself,
who has family and friends and everybody over there and
has a lot of personal ties to it, but it
was a reminder kind of more so about the quote
unquote American dream, and I thought, I've never really I
(01:13):
think I feel like I've done maybe some topics about that.
But I think it's interesting where I think we're the
first generation who maybe the American Dream as our parents
thought of it, we have to come to grips with
the reality that maybe it's not a real thing, and
(01:35):
maybe it never was right, maybe it was a facade
to a degree. And I think children of immigrants, children
of you know, families who are minorities, we have a
certain burden. And I think those of us who are
(01:56):
fortunate enough that our parents were maybe able to create
something or provide a better life for us than they
did for than they had for themselves, I think they
instilled in us certain things that I think no longer
serve us to a degree, right, And I'm trying to
kind of formulate how I want to attack this. To
(02:19):
a degree, I think I don't know. I think what
my parents dreamed of for me and my sister, I
don't think it's based in the reality of the world
that we live in in twenty twenty five. And I
(02:42):
think there's also a lot of sort of I think
emphasis placed in I don't want to say the wrong areas,
but in emphasis placed on a lot of things that
maybe don't make us as happy as we thought they would, right.
(03:09):
And I talked about this a lot in the past,
but like the white piked fence idea and all these
different things like that, right, and sort of all of
these like external check the box type of factors and ideas, right,
and particularly when you think about where we are with
(03:31):
the cost of living in this country and the astronomical
cost of buying a home, and how for many people
it doesn't feel like it's going to be a reality
for them to become homeowners in the current economic climate.
And I've often thought about this as I've kind of
(03:55):
gone about my path in life of really chasing what
I love and sort of figuring out what is more
valuable to me, like what really matters, not just the
shit that's supposed to matter, but truly like for me
at my core, what brings me joy, what brings me happiness?
(04:19):
And you know, I'm still I guess on that journey,
as we'll probably all always be in some shape in
some way, shape or form. But I think it's like
we need to have a real discussion about the quote
unquote American dream and comes to the realization that it's dead.
(04:46):
But maybe it was never really meant for us to
begin with. And quite frankly, I don't think it was
a real metric of happiness. It was more of a
metric of status, right, And I think we're we're kind
of in an era where, because of the access to information,
(05:08):
we're sort of being shown different ways of living, and
maybe it's expanding our minds a bit, or maybe we're
just jaded by the lack of possibility in certain aspects
and just how hard life has sort of been to
obtain what is sort of supposed to be the things
that just come along with you getting a job and
(05:31):
starting a family and kind of how things are supposed
to fall into place if you check certain boxes. And
now we're in a world where even those who did
everything quote unquote right are struggling or are not happy
and are you know, not getting the answers they once
thought of. So yeah, I think I think I'm kind
(05:52):
of bouncing around a little bit. But I guess the
real thing is like us trance forming or redefining what
success looks like for us and being okay with it
(06:13):
not matching up with maybe many of the things that
we were taught or many of the hopes that our
parents had for us to a degree. So well, yeah,
I'm kind of just gonna do this in like a
I don't know, for the people in the back segment,
We'll just kind of do a deep dive into all
this to a degree. So let's just get into it.
(06:34):
Say a lot for the people in the say A
lot of the people in the say A lot of
the people. So I think, let's first and foremost kind
of start quickly. I guess the idea of the American dream, right,
(07:00):
and I think, more than anything, the harsh truth that
the American dream was never really meant for us, right,
Like the idea of it, the history of it, the
origins of it were really for white, middle class Americans
(07:21):
in a post World War two era, and it was
founded on the idea or sort of built off the
idea that or built off the reality that at the time,
you know, land was cheap, that were low housing costs,
and you know, there was opportunity in a country that
(07:45):
was emerging as a global superpower and sort of entering
into this world where the American way was sort of
of being held up on this pedestal to a degree, right,
(08:05):
and then kind of enter many of our parents or
grandparents who sort of came here to this country with
the same dream, the same idea, and depending on obviously
when they came over here, there were opportunities sort of available.
(08:27):
But I guess what I'm getting out when I talk
about this history. You know, you look at things like
during the Great Depression, right, there were government programs where
they actually would give land to people and in exchange
for giving them essentially free land, they agreed to farm
(08:47):
the land. Right. This is a way for them to
give people the opportunity to make money for themselves and
also create a local economy. Now, only certain people had
access to that, right. Essentially white people had access to that.
Or you think about places like Philadelphia, cities like Philadelphia
(09:09):
where you had the unions, right, and the unions were
put in place for certain jobs, especially like I guess
construction or factory jobs, whatever might have been, and it
was a means to really help people get good pay rates,
good benefits, and essentially be able to provide for their families.
(09:31):
But again, black people weren't allowed to join those unions
at the time. They were kept out of that, right.
And I mean that's the origins of like how they
talk about now like, oh, like you know, brown people
are coming to take your jobs. Back in the day,
(09:52):
they used to say black people come to take your jobs.
Right now, it's all Mexican migrants are coming to take
your job. They just you know, the racism kept getting
moved around, continues to keep being moved around. But essentially
it consistently has been all built upon the idea that
the American dream has never really been intended for us.
(10:13):
Now we sort of get the runoff of it, and
granted we have more opportunity than maybe others do in
other countries, but these sort of foundational elements of the
American dream were never truly meant for us. Right, And
even when you look at your parents and the lives
(10:33):
that they lived, and even those who did manage to
sort of obtain a level of success of the dream
of buying the house or being able to provide for
their family back home, they went through a great deal
of hardship and struggle and sacrifice in order to obtain it. Right.
(10:58):
It was them working on godly hours and multiple jobs
and all these different things, you know, them really sacrificing
everything in the name of building this and sacrificing their
own physical, mental, you know, emotional health, time spent with family,
(11:23):
you know, all of these different things just to sort
of be able to check a box essentially, right, And
I'm careful about even saying to check a box because
for some surely maybe the idea was I want to
see it to get a house, whatever it might be.
But really it was for them escaping dire circumstance in
(11:44):
the motherland and trying to build a life out here, essentially.
And I don't want to take anything away from, you know,
the sacrifice of our parents or all that they went
through in order to do so to make things happen
(12:04):
for us. But I think one could argue their heart
is in the right place. But I guess what I
question when I think about all of these things is
were they chasing what actually made them happy? Or were
(12:30):
they chasing what they were quote unquote supposed to be
doing essentially and even beyond what makes because I think
I think some people, depending on the circumstances of where
they were brought up or what they were escaping, the
idea of chasing your happiness is a luxury, and I
think it still is to a degree for many unfortunately.
(13:00):
But I guess I guess I'll my promone sort of
personal anecdotes of things. Right, you know, my parents bought
into the idea like all right, you go to you know,
high school and all that. You go to college, you
get a job, you get married, buy a house, and
that's it, and that kind of like solves all your
issues to a degree, right, And there wasn't even there
(13:24):
was never much faith in or belief in the idea
of enjoying your job, right. And you know, my mom
loved her job. She was a teacher and then principal,
but you know, she was kind of one of the
(13:47):
lucky ones. And even that is a particularly traditional route
to a degree, right, And I think for many people
the norm was more so like that of my father,
who you know, went to college, got a decent job,
didn't particularly like his job. But that is sort of
how things are. You get a job, you have to
provide for your family. You have to cover the cost
(14:09):
of the expenses of having a family and a house
and cars and all these different things. And part of that,
part of being able to have that is clocking in
you're forty hours a week, even if it means that
you're miserable for the majority of those forty hours you
spent there. But they justify that with the idea like, oh,
(14:32):
we have a house, we each have a car, you know,
we can take the one vacation a year, and not
to diminish or take away from any of those things.
But I guess for me, I look at all this stuff,
and now as somebody who's purchased a property, who you know,
(14:55):
his own, owns a car on his own and all
these different things. There are times where I sort of
go back and forth and I'm like, is this even
worth it? And I don't want to sound ungrateful, because
I know it's I'm privileged that I happen to have
been in a position to sort of get in right
before shit got really crazy as far as like home
(15:17):
ownership and things of that nature. But there are times
where I'm like, it's the idea of the golden handcuffs, right,
and it's the idea of like, yeah, it's amazing I'm
a homeowner and like, you know, one day I'm going
(15:38):
to sell this property. I'm going to make a profit
on it because it's accumulating in value. There's equity and
all those different things. But there's also on the flip
side of it. At times, it feels like the negative
is almost equal to the positive of it. Right, it's
(15:58):
the maintenance of the property. It's every time something goes wrong,
there's no landlord to call, and then you know, you
tell them about it. Also, you get home from work
and it's fixed, you know, if you have a good landlord,
it's up to you. And there's always some expense, so
it's always some unexpected thing to happen, you know, or
(16:20):
you know, you get an opportunity to move to another place,
or you just get a feeling where you're like, you
know what, I would love to fucking you know, experience
living in insert some random city for a year. And again,
as you get older, all these things are more difficult.
And I'm kind of just like having a train of thought,
(16:42):
so I have pot it as it's a little bit
scattered here, but I guess my my thought process in
all of this is sort of the American dream as
we know. It is not based upon a sort of
(17:12):
personalized version of what makes us happy. Right. We are
emphasizing and overemphasizing. I would argue the house, the car,
the full time job, the title, but we're emphasizing it
(17:36):
to degree at the expense of maybe something else that
would actually really make us happy. And again, that's a
personal conversation to be had with yourself. I just think,
(18:01):
I guess what my roundabout point is our parents sort
of hopped onto these ideas and then pass them down
to us, whether it be on purpose or inadvertently, without
really questioning it right, without saying like, but does it
(18:22):
make sense for me the person? And what's interesting about
the time period that we're in right now is because
it's so difficult, because it's not a sort of copy
(18:42):
and paste like maybe it was, you know, just a
decade ago or prior to that. Even you now actually
have to really think about what you want. And I
know it's frustrating to a degree, but there's probably also
a blessing there. And the idea that it costs an
(19:09):
extreme amount of money to own a home, It is
going to be very expensive if you want to have kids.
The idea then of access as well. Technology has opened
the door for a lot of different opportunities outside of
(19:30):
the traditional job scope. It's allowed you, to, at least
behind a screen, see just how vast the world is
and how much is actually out there that potentially could
interest you or that you have, you know, an itch
that you want to scratch. College is ridiculously expensive, jobs
(20:01):
are not paying what they should. So I guess what
I'm getting at with that conversation is like, all right,
if I'm going to be in a position where I'm
going to be struggling, I'd much rather struggle on my
(20:23):
own terms. Right, So, if I'm going to get a
job that I hate and still be underpaid because most
people are regardless of if they love their job or not,
and as a result, the house that I would own
(20:45):
or I'm supposed to own, making that amount of money
is going to be a burden for me. Maybe i'd
just say, you know what, fuck the house. I'll take
a little less money doing something I actually enjoy, and
maybe I'll be some sort of like nomadic person. I
don't you know, I'm not particularly tied down to just
(21:08):
thinking I'm gonna plant roots in this one place forever,
or maybe i am. But I'm fine with renting and
letting somebody else take care of the maintenance of the
property and shoveling the fucking snow and doing all the
other little things. And I want all the amenities that
comes along with living in a building or whatever it
(21:28):
might be. Like, I guess what I'm what I'm saying
is like shit is hard, like the dream is kind
of dead, and on one hand it's frustrating, but on
the other hand, it's I feel like it's made us
sort of have to stop in our tracks to a
degree and say, like, but what the fuck do I
actually want in a way that maybe previous generations didn't
(21:53):
question because it wasn't so difficult, right, because it was like,
you know what, the job that I hate that probably
should be paying me more money and overworks me. Like
in previous generations, yeah, the job sucked, but like it
was easier to get college degree, all right, cool, send
(22:16):
us a resume in you know, it's an easier process.
Now It's like, bro, even to get a job you
fucking despise is difficult. How overly saturated it is. Everybody
has a college degree, everybody's online applying for the same
fucking job. Like, even to get a job that you
absolutely despise, it's difficult. So with that in mind, it's like, well,
(22:38):
if the fucking shit I hate is going to be difficult,
i'd mind. I've rap much rather struggle at least doing
something I like doing, or having more freedom or more
control over my life. And that's counteractive to the American dream.
Even when we talk about children, there's a lot of
people of my generation, younger millennials are sort of foregoing
(23:02):
that right because I think there are a lot of
people who probably shouldn't have been parents to begin with,
never really wanted that, but felt like it was what
they're supposed to do, or got married and never really
wanted that. And I know there's a lot of factors,
(23:24):
a lot of different ways we can kind of go
about this conversation of the American dream. Obviously, I'm talking
about it from the context of, like what makes you happy?
What does success look like to you? And I guess
(23:47):
I also want to look at it from the perspective of, like,
what's the reality of the world we live in, and
how can we make the most of it and make
our version of the dream come true? And I guess
that'll be the next portion of the show. So we'll
(24:09):
take a pause here, we'll take a quick break, and
then we'll be right back. All right, we are back,
And last thing I want to touch on this, I
like using the whole ownership example, And I was just
kind of thinking about this as I kind of like
took a breath. A lot of people like they dream
(24:32):
about owning property, and I was one of those people, right,
And I don't I again, I'm grateful that I was
able to make that happen. But I think for me
and I really I I'm like hesitant how to say this,
because I don't want, you know, I feel like I'm
(24:56):
in I'm in a very privileged place, you know, by
my own doing and by God's doing. But I was
lucky enough that I was able to purchase that house,
that property with money I made doing things that I
actually enjoyed or that you know, we're in the realm
of what I enjoyed doing. There's always work that you're
(25:17):
kind of like, I don't feel like fucking doing this today,
But it's all in the scope of something I enjoy doing,
and for the most part, in a manner, I enjoyed
doing it. But if you were to flip it on
its head, right, and I think I bought I'm almost
at ninety nine and a half. I almost at ten
years with the company. It'll be that in November with
iHeart in various roles, but ten years with this company
(25:43):
in various ways on and off, and I bought my
first property. We closed beginning of twenty twenty one, so
four years ago, so six years with the company. I
was able to have generated enough money and was working
(26:03):
consistently with everything else I was doing to be able
to close on my first property, And in retrospect, if
you told me I had to do six years at
a job I hated in order to achieve that dream,
I'd probably question whether or not it was worth it, right,
(26:24):
And that's I guess what I'm trying to get. Like,
I fel like our parents' generation, and for some of
you listening who are a little bit older, it might
be your generation as well. The concept was each shit
for the idea that you're going to be able to
check the American dream box. But truthfully, having personally been
(26:50):
able to check the American dream box in that manner,
if I had to do it the way that my
father did, and I was talking to like me six
years ago, I would say, dude, I don't think it's
worth it, because, yeah, I'm fortunate enough that when I
(27:14):
sell this property, I'm gonna have made some money off
of it. Which, now, if you purchased it probably after
I did, I don't know how much you're going to
walk away with, you know, especially right now, is like
depending when you bought it, you know, and not to
get into like all real estate shit, but like you know,
the market has been really bad over the last year
(27:37):
or so. So if you had purchased your property in
the last year and a half, your markup is not
going to be crazy. And I guess my point being
not even I'm getting off topic now go to a
fucking real estate podcast, but my point being, can you
(27:59):
put a price tag on six years of your life?
That's what my point would be, because yeah, I like,
you know, don't get it wrong, We'll get it twisted.
I sacrificed so much in that in those six years.
I worked crazy hours, but literally some of the best
years of my entire life, and it's all connected to
(28:24):
Much of it is connected to my career, Like the
experiences that I got to have as a result of
what I did were so much fun, So it was
more than worth it. Even if I didn't get to
buy the house. It was the experience alone was incredible.
But if the experience was again what my father had,
miserable on the way to work, miserable at work, miserable
(28:47):
on the way home, five days a week, forty plus
hours a week, I don't think it's worth it. If
that's the sacrifice I have to make to own this
property and check that box. I don't see that it's
worth it. And again, we're all different, we all have
different goals and different things in mind. But I think
(29:14):
for me, I would much rather say, hey, Okay, I'm
just gonna have like a modest apartment and maybe make
less money, but at least I could do something I love,
or I'm gonna have less bills. I'm gonna have a
modest apartment, and that means I could take more risks
on ideas that I want to create, entrepreneurial ventures and
things of that nature. Like that's what I would do
(29:38):
if those were my options. Essentially, if my options again
were work a job you hate, to get a bit of,
you know, get the americatory of buying a house, I
would choose the one where I could do more of
what I like doing, even if it means i'm quote
unquote not you know, sort of doing what I'm supposed
to be doing. And I touched on that touch on
(30:00):
this with when it comes to people having kids, Like
a lot of people are realizing, like you know now,
that it's like ridiculously expensive to have kids, and it's
scary to have kids in general. With everything happening in
the world, a lot more people are like taking a
bit more of a beat to think about if it's
(30:20):
what they really want, right, And there are a lot
of people are deciding, you know what, I don't really
want that that level of responsibility is something that I'm
not really wanting, And I really would have just been
into it because it's what I'm supposed to do, because
I'm tired of people asking me about having a kid.
(30:41):
You know, I'm supposed to get married and have a kid,
or I don't you know? Or you we lived in
a world that was a bit more of a bubble
where you didn't realize, like, you know, how much freedom
you could have to travel the world to do all
these different things whatever, whatever fucking floats your boat. What
I'm saying is I'm I don't know. Maybe I'm optimistically thinking,
(31:02):
like the American dream being seemingly dead maybe isn't such
a bad thing, because maybe it means we're going to
be able to live. We're going to be able to
begin to think and live and chase lives that are
far more authentic and unique to us and what makes
us actually happy rather than what would make our parents
(31:25):
proud or would make our peers jealous or would stack
up to what our peers are doing. Maybe in that sense,
it's not so bad. On the other side of it,
when it comes to sort of the way the world
is going, we're moving in a place of extreme capitalism,
(31:48):
we're moving in a place of just extreme greed, and
we're moving at such a rapid rate as far as
technology goes that there are very few industries that are safe.
And we're also moving societally in an ideological way in
(32:17):
which we devalue industries like education. I mean, we're seeing
you know, this is a political episode, but all that
Trump is doing, and you know, just so much of
what's being taken away from the fabric of our country.
(32:43):
I it's just like, I don't know. I'm trying to
I'm not trying to, like I don't want to. I'm
trying to not scare anybody, but I'm also trying to
make people realize. From my perspective, the writing on the
wall to me is no one is safe, No industry
is safe, no job title, like nothing can be counted on.
(33:14):
Like I really, if you're under a particular age and
you don't have a crazy amount of money, like fuck you,
money put away. I don't think anybody's really safe, Like
I don't think the idea of like a safe, good
job like we were promised, you know, our parents would
talk about. I don't think that that exists. I mean, shit,
(33:34):
it didn't exist even for my father towards the end
of his career. So I guess what I'm getting at
is with all of that in mind, because jobs aren't
going to pay you what you deserve. They're not going
to pay what is sort of the market is demanding
(34:00):
in terms of what is fair for you in terms
of what you know, being able to pay your mortgage
and rent and all these different things. The wage stagnation
that is happening, the job opportunities that are lacking, the
way everything is becoming more and more expensive. We have
(34:26):
to move into a place where I think the American
dream is no longer the college degree, the job, the home,
the white pick offense, the marriage, and the kids. And
it could be that's what you want, but I think
(34:49):
the reality is ownership. And when I say ownership, I
mean real ownership. I don't mean a house, I don't
(35:09):
mean a car. I mean ownership over your life and
being in control of as much of it as you
possibly can be. Nothing bothers me more, Nothing makes me
more restless or frustrated than the idea that when I
(35:40):
feel helpless. Essentially, it's why I have so many different
jobs and hustles and different things that I do because,
and maybe it's the nature of the entertainment industry. The
irony is that was sort of like the knock on
the entertainment industry is just how up and down it
can be. And now we're realizing that, like every other
industry is becoming that. Essentially, and at least in the
(36:03):
entertainment industry, you enjoy what you do if you're in
it for the right reasons. But I think the lesson that
others can apply from my own strategy experience is I
think that level of uncertainty that I've had to deal
with as a result of what I do for a living,
(36:23):
I think that's now in the future moving forward, going
to be the norm for almost every single industry. I mean,
even look at like the federal government, right, even the
people who are doing essential roles from our aviation to
the irs, they don't even have job security because now
(36:47):
you have a new regime in there that is saying,
you know what, we don't value your jobs or what
you do goodbye on a whim. In a short period
of time, nothing is safe. And again I don't want
(37:08):
to scare anybody. I'm not trying to yell bloody murder.
I'm not trying to make you paranoid. But maybe a hell,
there is a way to have a healthy level of
paranoia where you don't rely on anything and you always
sort of keep in the back of your mind or
always sort of keep an eye out for the next
opportunity around the corner. And it's exhausting to a degree
to live that way, right, I think there are certain things,
(37:30):
you know, strategies maybe you can implement to save yourself
from that a bit that That's something I've been trying
to get a bit better at. But again, I think
moving forward, there's an opportunity amidst the chaos, I guess,
is what I'm trying to get at. Yes, things are hard,
(37:57):
Yes things are difficult. Yes we were essentially to Yes
the dreams we were sold no longer exist. But with
that said, if the quote unquote safe route is risky,
then that should give us far more confidence in taking
(38:18):
risks on things that we actually enjoy. That we actually
are passionate about. And I think that's sort of I
(38:40):
guess if I was to talk to if I had
kids and I was telling them about like what their
goals should be, like, it's make make the dream personal
for you at the end of the day, right, fuck
what you're supposed to be doing, Like, fuck what people
make you feel bad about, like your whatever, Like make
(39:02):
it make sense for you. It's not crazy to be
somebody who, like you know, decides they want to go
live in a warm climate for on the beach somewhere
for a year or whatever, or they don't want to
be tied down to one air like you can make
it make sense for you. And I think you have
(39:22):
to make it make sense for you because there are
so many people who have spent their lives playing it
safe and doing what they're supposed to do, only to
be slacked in the face by a world that constantly
(39:43):
reminds you that there's no such thing as the safe route.
There's no such thing as the quote unquote right way.
And I think it's even more sort of obvious in
the current climate than ever. We're moving into a place
(40:11):
where the world is favoring far more the wealthy than
ever before, where there's a disappearing middle class. And I
think again, when you can sort of reassess and get
(40:33):
clear on what really makes you happy and what success
truly truly is, then you don't have to tolerate as
much of the world's bullshit, or you can try to
design your life in such a way that doesn't rely
(40:55):
so heavily on being plugged into what your quote unquote
supposed to do. I just, I just I don't know.
I have this just like I've had this feeling in
my gut, and not like not a good one of
(41:28):
I don't know of. It's not even a gut feeling.
I'm trying to like because I have certain things in mind.
I don't want to err people out or or whatever
it might be. But like I've watched just so many
people like unexpectedly lost their job thinking they were safe,
or I've seen like how ruthless some of these people
(41:53):
in positions of power are. I've personally seen it, and
I've seen how those people are rewarded for their ruthlessness
by the higher ups. And again we're kind of seeing
it in real time with Elon Musk and the way
(42:13):
that he's being rewarded for being this just like savage
when it comes to people's livelihoods and their jobs and
things like that, And I often question or think about,
(42:40):
like how much of the things that I desire or
that I go after are truly because I want them
in my heart of hearts and how much of it
is stuff that's been programmed into me by society or
(43:01):
by my parents, like even you know, to be completely vulnerable.
I've been thinking about kids, like recently, like I've always
said I want kids, and I've always envisioned having kids.
And while I'm not saying I don't want them, for
(43:24):
the first time in my life, I really am thinking
what if I didn't get have kids, Like what if
that is just not really what I want? What if
that doesn't actually line up with like how I enjoy
(43:45):
moving through life? Right, And like, again I don't I'm
not decided in either way. But this is like, but
if you would have asked me this a year ago,
I would have said, there's no way in hell I'm
not having kids now, sort of like as you begin
to have the realities of like the cost and you know,
(44:07):
I know it's not the same, but I have a
dog you know, And there's a lot of times where
and I have a dog who it's my own fault.
I haven't done a great job of socializing him with like,
you know, friends and things like that. So really the
only place he can go and he feels good and
(44:27):
he's not like, you know, scared or aggressive is my parents' house.
So I have to coordinate with them if I'm going
to be gone, you know. So there are days I
have to go into the city, I have to go
to the radio station. You know, I'm here right now
at the radio station recording this. I've been got all day.
I dropped them off this morning, you know. Or I'm
been detailing a lot more and some traveling gigs are
(44:51):
coming up and I have to like coordinate. Oh well,
they were going to go away during a certain time.
So now I'm like, right, well, can I can you
guys go away this date? Because I need to. I'm
booked this date. And these are little things, but this
is just for a fucking dog who I love. But
also it's like, ma'am, it's drastically affecting me doing more
(45:13):
of what I enjoy doing. And obviously everything in life
comes with a level of sacrifice. I always say yes
to one thing is a note of something else. But
the question you have to ask yourself, and the sort
of honest answer you have to try to give yourself,
is is it worth the sacrifice? Right? Do I want
(45:41):
this enough to sacrifice the other thing that I'm interested in? Right?
For me, I love being able to go on a whim,
you know, and like, you know, I'm playing some gigs
in in Puerto Rico at the end of this month,
and I just booked the plane ticket there and I'm
(46:05):
kind of keeping it a little bit open ended as
far as the return flight. I'm just like watching, you know,
prices and like times and dates and like seeing what
makes the most sense. I couldn't do that. If I
had a kid, I could better do it. And I
have a fucking dog. And again I'm not saying like
(46:26):
I don't want to, you know, be responsible to hang
out my dog. I don't love it, like, but again,
it's just having an honest conversation with myself and saying, like,
what do you really want? Like what makes sense for you?
Like fuck what you're supposed to be doing, what actually
is making sense for you? What actually fits in with
(46:50):
the parts of your life that make you happy and
fulfill you. And again, as if every fucking thing in
this world is difficult, then it's not or too ney
for you to just say, you know what, if it's
gonna be difficult the quote unquote easy way, then I
might as well just fucking take the harder route if
it means I'm gonna actually have some fucking happiness. Like
(47:11):
if they both are gonna suck, the path is gonna
suck both ways, I might as well at least, fucking,
you know, take the slightly more difficult path that is
going to have far more moments of joy than the
other one, just because it makes sense on fucking paper.
And I think that's maybe the emphasis on it all
is like redefining success on our own terms, like the
(47:36):
American dream is dead. What our parents were promised, what
they were striving for for us either doesn't exist or
never really made sense, or on a deeper level, was
never meant for people like us. So as much as
that sucks to sort of hear to a degree, there's
also I think a blessing in like, let's just get
(47:57):
down to what really makes us happy and live life
according to that. Fuck everything else I'll leave it that
for the sake of time, but we'll tie everything we
talked about today in a neat little bow and a
segment called Conclusions do. But first we'll take a quick
break and they'll be right back time for comp All right,
(48:28):
So I threw so much out there, like I'm I
think a broken record, but I'm literally that I'm thinking
out loud a lot of times on these episodes. I
really like, I really am thinking out loud, and oftentimes
like I'm thinking about Like if I'm thinking about this
or it's resonating with me to a degree, I want
(48:51):
to share it and like plant the seed in your
brain and maybe make you think about something in a
different manner. But I guess kind of some arizing what
we've been talking about. I think, in general, the American
dream was this idea or this blueprint that was never
really created for us, right. It was founded and predicated
(49:15):
and based upon opportunities that were not created or given
to people of color oftentimes, and as a result, I
think we've spent generations sort of killing ourselves to achieve
(49:36):
this thing without ever really stopping to think, does this
actually align with what I personally want? And I think
now as like the world is more difficult as people
are beginning to be a bit more open minded. I
(49:59):
think we're sort of being faced with like far more options,
which is bad in a certain way, but in other
ways positive as far as like I get to really
sort of think about what I want my life to
look like, and the options for that are endless rather
than just like this finite blueprint that again was based
(50:23):
upon programs and communities that were never meant for us
to be a part of. And I started this conversation
(50:47):
talking about kind of what sparked the idea of like
reading this article about Puerto Rico and like opportunity sort
of dwindling as far as home ownership goes, and like
and even with there, they're a problem rant as well
to a degree, not keeping up with you know, what
(51:09):
wages are and it's frustrating, and my heart goes out
to anybody in that situation, regardless of where you're from.
But again, the mindset then needs to be like what
am I not seeing or what can I do to
create what is not there? I guess what I'm sort
of getting at is, like I do believe the old
(51:31):
way of relying on corporate America or traditional job markets
and titles and standards, however you gonna word it. I
do believe those days are coming to an end in
terms of them being a sort of end all, be
(51:53):
all means of you supporting yourself financially. And again, there
are going to be certain industries niches that like are
going to be fine potentially, but I think they're gonna
be far more that are going to be drastically affected
than not affected. And I think, again it's scary and
(52:16):
it's frustrating, but there's also opportunity there. I think if
we're smart, if we take the time to think about it,
there's opportunity for us to then create what would actually
make us happy, to then push ourselves to get crafty
to create opportunity, and in creating that opportunity, matching it
(52:36):
with our you know, our given abilities and what we're
naturally drawn to as far as enjoying and our passion
as a means to to, you know, our passion gets
created as that I fucked up like a quote about
past thing. I was watching a video that popped up
that like, passion is really like your interest in your
skill aligning for the right thing basically, and you find
(53:01):
that through trial and error. Oftentimes, many people never even
went through the trial and error process because they were
living in fear of the unknown, so they went the
safe route, or they were chasing the blueprint of what
(53:27):
they were quote unquote supposed to be doing and just
ignoring the inner voice in their mind that maybe had
a counter idea of what life looked like beyond that.
So I guess I would end with like a call
to action and pose a couple questions of really, what
(53:49):
does success look like to you? Like what does it
really look like to you? And allow yourself to sort
of have that honest conversation. And it might look different
(54:12):
than it did when you were growing up or when
you're in your twenties or thirties. A year ago, two
months ago, a minute ago, it could be ever changing.
But what does success look like to you? This world
is in a weird fucking place. Nothing is easy. The
(54:36):
safe route is not safe. The easy route is not easy.
But we're not doomed. It just means we need to
now write our own definition of success, Like we can't
walk the paths that have been laid out before, like
they don't exist anymore, and I guess the other question
(55:00):
would be, how are you defining your own version of
the dream? Fuck what the judicial American dream has been,
how are you defining your own version of it? I'll
leave you, which is kind of like what's running through
my head in my gut. I'm called to Puerto Rico,
(55:28):
which is crazy to me in so many ways because
I'm like a New York City kid who I love
it through and through and I love the chaos, the hustle,
like I've loved it the fucking you know, always doing
something and this, that and the third. But as I'm
(55:52):
getting older, I'm kind of just like the value of
sort of being in the mix all the time. It's
becoming less and less for me. Now. Don't get me wrong,
my brain is always going I always have to be occupied,
(56:12):
but like that sort of hyper I don't know, hyper
like connectivity or hyper I can't even think the word
right now, that like hyper like the stimulation, that over stimulation.
(56:38):
It's kind of like not very appealing to me right
And even in the industry I work in, it's like,
if I have to sit here and have consistent interactions
with people I don't like or respect, the opportunity is
(57:01):
not that appealing to me, as great as it might
look on paper, as cool as some of the checks
might be, whatever it is like the people I have
to interact with as a result like that, I weigh
that just as heavily as anything else, and even for
(57:24):
me owning property and things like that, when I bought it,
I'll leave you kind of with this. I know we're
getting long on the episode, but when I bought it,
I didn't really give a shit where I was buying
the property as long as it was like close enough
that I could still make the commute into the city.
You know. I didn't care about like the local culture
(57:45):
or whatever it might be. It was like, I don't care.
I just want to fucking own something, and I'm happy
I did, and it's provided a lot of great things
for me. But now, sort of having seen how the
other half lives, it is important to me to like
(58:07):
wanna walk around my neighborhood and like interact with people
that I actually want to interact with, to be inspired
by what's happening, or to feel like I'm a part
of something, And there's not much of that where I
live in fucking suburban New Jersey. And again that's why
(58:31):
I like when I'm in Puerto Rico, I'm like, oh man,
I'm just like I feel like a different person. I'm
a bit more at peace, I'm a bit more like
inclined to talk to strangers and to like want to
have that interaction. I feel like I'm a part of something,
there's something. It's just a different vibe. And again, for
(58:56):
most people it would be like why the fuck would you?
And for some of you, it's gonna be like, you know,
if you don't, if you're not like a city person,
it's like, yeah, the dream is always to go retire
to like a calm, fucking tropical place, you know. That's
when people move to Florida and the shit. But like,
particularly in the entertainment industry, I'm somebody who works in
(59:18):
the number one market in my entire radio specifically industry.
There's no bigger place, there's no bigger paychecks coming in
the world of like radio or whatever. It is, like,
it's New York's New York. It's the mecca. But I'm
(59:39):
just kind of like, okay, cool. But on a deeper level,
day to day, I'm far happier in a place like
Puerto Rico than I am being in the city every
day or being around the buzz of this you know market.
And yeah, it means maybe taking a paca or having
(01:00:00):
less opportunities for certain bigger, high profile interviews or things
like that as far as in person goes or gigs, whatever.
But on a day to day basis, if my quality
of life, my happiness is more somewhere else, who gives
a fuck about the extra accolades those like that, they're
not actually those That's that's fucking surface level of value.
(01:00:24):
And that's so much of what the American dream has been,
you know, sold to us as And no, I'll leave
it at that. Now that the American dream is more
and more difficult to get, I feel like there's a
wake up call happening of realizing a that was bullshit
to begin with, but b it was just based on
a bunch of superficial, surface level fucking achievements that didn't
(01:00:49):
really add value to our quality of life aside from
to be fair, you know, a level of peace of
mind that comes along with knowing you have money to
you know, keep a roof over your head and to
pay the bills and to you know, have food on
(01:01:12):
the table. But again, you wouldn't have to work so much,
or work, you know, a job you hate, if you
didn't have to pay for a certain car or a
certain house in a certain neighborhood, or wear certain clothing
like that. You know, like these are the things we
really have to sort of strip down. Like a lot
(01:01:33):
of this shit is surface level, superficial stuff, just food
for thought. Why I always say that I have nothing
else to say, but yeah, I challenge everybody to kind
of reframe the idea of the American dream and listen,
the world is chaotic as fuck right now. It's scary.
(01:01:53):
There's a lot to be paranoid about. But I think,
as I also said the last point, I'll leave for
real over this time, I think there's there's benefit to
have a healthy level of paranoia and as much chaos
as happening in the world right now. I think there's
also because of that opportunity to deviate from the beaten
path and just write your own story. Because everything is
(01:02:16):
a lie. Basically everything else we've been taught is a lot.
Everything is difficult, everything is hard. You might as well
struggle doing something you love rather than struggle doing things
that you hate and I'll leave it there. Thank you
so much for tuning in. I will catch you on
Thursday with a brand new episode, our Thursday Trends episode,
So then stay safe, we'll talk soon. Burse Life as
(01:02:40):
a Grigo is a production of the micro Thura podcast
network and iHeartRadio
Let me talk about there we go. He said, you
live in life as a lingo, where you question where
you fit in every time you mingle, they say you
do this would not of that my rappin is really man.
This life pas a lingo. Yes, hello, and welcome to
another life. As a lingo, I am dramas of us
(00:27):
and man today. I mean, it's all of the chaos
that's happening in this world right now, especially this country,
but I just think the world as a whole. I
was reading a statistic about Puerto Rico that I thought
was not only obviously relevant if you are concerned with
(00:52):
things going on in the island and you know, like myself,
who has family and friends and everybody over there and
has a lot of personal ties to it, but it
was a reminder kind of more so about the quote
unquote American dream, and I thought, I've never really I
(01:13):
think I feel like I've done maybe some topics about that.
But I think it's interesting where I think we're the
first generation who maybe the American Dream as our parents
thought of it, we have to come to grips with
the reality that maybe it's not a real thing, and
(01:35):
maybe it never was right, maybe it was a facade
to a degree. And I think children of immigrants, children
of you know, families who are minorities, we have a
certain burden. And I think those of us who are
(01:56):
fortunate enough that our parents were maybe able to create
something or provide a better life for us than they
did for than they had for themselves, I think they
instilled in us certain things that I think no longer
serve us to a degree, right, And I'm trying to
kind of formulate how I want to attack this. To
(02:19):
a degree, I think I don't know. I think what
my parents dreamed of for me and my sister, I
don't think it's based in the reality of the world
that we live in in twenty twenty five. And I
(02:42):
think there's also a lot of sort of I think
emphasis placed in I don't want to say the wrong areas,
but in emphasis placed on a lot of things that
maybe don't make us as happy as we thought they would, right.
(03:09):
And I talked about this a lot in the past,
but like the white piked fence idea and all these
different things like that, right, and sort of all of
these like external check the box type of factors and ideas, right,
and particularly when you think about where we are with
(03:31):
the cost of living in this country and the astronomical
cost of buying a home, and how for many people
it doesn't feel like it's going to be a reality
for them to become homeowners in the current economic climate.
And I've often thought about this as I've kind of
(03:55):
gone about my path in life of really chasing what
I love and sort of figuring out what is more
valuable to me, like what really matters, not just the
shit that's supposed to matter, but truly like for me
at my core, what brings me joy, what brings me happiness?
(04:19):
And you know, I'm still I guess on that journey,
as we'll probably all always be in some shape in
some way, shape or form. But I think it's like
we need to have a real discussion about the quote
unquote American dream and comes to the realization that it's dead.
(04:46):
But maybe it was never really meant for us to
begin with. And quite frankly, I don't think it was
a real metric of happiness. It was more of a
metric of status, right, And I think we're we're kind
of in an era where, because of the access to information,
(05:08):
we're sort of being shown different ways of living, and
maybe it's expanding our minds a bit, or maybe we're
just jaded by the lack of possibility in certain aspects
and just how hard life has sort of been to
obtain what is sort of supposed to be the things
that just come along with you getting a job and
(05:31):
starting a family and kind of how things are supposed
to fall into place if you check certain boxes. And
now we're in a world where even those who did
everything quote unquote right are struggling or are not happy
and are you know, not getting the answers they once
thought of. So yeah, I think I think I'm kind
(05:52):
of bouncing around a little bit. But I guess the
real thing is like us trance forming or redefining what
success looks like for us and being okay with it
(06:13):
not matching up with maybe many of the things that
we were taught or many of the hopes that our
parents had for us to a degree. So well, yeah,
I'm kind of just gonna do this in like a
I don't know, for the people in the back segment,
We'll just kind of do a deep dive into all
this to a degree. So let's just get into it.
(06:34):
Say a lot for the people in the say A
lot of the people in the say A lot of
the people. So I think, let's first and foremost kind
of start quickly. I guess the idea of the American dream, right,
(07:00):
and I think, more than anything, the harsh truth that
the American dream was never really meant for us, right,
Like the idea of it, the history of it, the
origins of it were really for white, middle class Americans
(07:21):
in a post World War two era, and it was
founded on the idea or sort of built off the
idea that or built off the reality that at the time,
you know, land was cheap, that were low housing costs,
and you know, there was opportunity in a country that
(07:45):
was emerging as a global superpower and sort of entering
into this world where the American way was sort of
of being held up on this pedestal to a degree, right,
(08:05):
and then kind of enter many of our parents or
grandparents who sort of came here to this country with
the same dream, the same idea, and depending on obviously
when they came over here, there were opportunities sort of available.
(08:27):
But I guess what I'm getting out when I talk
about this history. You know, you look at things like
during the Great Depression, right, there were government programs where
they actually would give land to people and in exchange
for giving them essentially free land, they agreed to farm
(08:47):
the land. Right. This is a way for them to
give people the opportunity to make money for themselves and
also create a local economy. Now, only certain people had
access to that, right. Essentially white people had access to that.
Or you think about places like Philadelphia, cities like Philadelphia
(09:09):
where you had the unions, right, and the unions were
put in place for certain jobs, especially like I guess
construction or factory jobs, whatever might have been, and it
was a means to really help people get good pay rates,
good benefits, and essentially be able to provide for their families.
(09:31):
But again, black people weren't allowed to join those unions
at the time. They were kept out of that, right.
And I mean that's the origins of like how they
talk about now like, oh, like you know, brown people
are coming to take your jobs. Back in the day,
(09:52):
they used to say black people come to take your jobs.
Right now, it's all Mexican migrants are coming to take
your job. They just you know, the racism kept getting
moved around, continues to keep being moved around. But essentially
it consistently has been all built upon the idea that
the American dream has never really been intended for us.
(10:13):
Now we sort of get the runoff of it, and
granted we have more opportunity than maybe others do in
other countries, but these sort of foundational elements of the
American dream were never truly meant for us. Right, And
even when you look at your parents and the lives
(10:33):
that they lived, and even those who did manage to
sort of obtain a level of success of the dream
of buying the house or being able to provide for
their family back home, they went through a great deal
of hardship and struggle and sacrifice in order to obtain it. Right.
(10:58):
It was them working on godly hours and multiple jobs
and all these different things, you know, them really sacrificing
everything in the name of building this and sacrificing their
own physical, mental, you know, emotional health, time spent with family,
(11:23):
you know, all of these different things just to sort
of be able to check a box essentially, right, And
I'm careful about even saying to check a box because
for some surely maybe the idea was I want to
see it to get a house, whatever it might be.
But really it was for them escaping dire circumstance in
(11:44):
the motherland and trying to build a life out here, essentially.
And I don't want to take anything away from, you know,
the sacrifice of our parents or all that they went
through in order to do so to make things happen
(12:04):
for us. But I think one could argue their heart
is in the right place. But I guess what I
question when I think about all of these things is
were they chasing what actually made them happy? Or were
(12:30):
they chasing what they were quote unquote supposed to be
doing essentially and even beyond what makes because I think
I think some people, depending on the circumstances of where
they were brought up or what they were escaping, the
idea of chasing your happiness is a luxury, and I
think it still is to a degree for many unfortunately.
(13:00):
But I guess I guess I'll my promone sort of
personal anecdotes of things. Right, you know, my parents bought
into the idea like all right, you go to you know,
high school and all that. You go to college, you
get a job, you get married, buy a house, and
that's it, and that kind of like solves all your
issues to a degree, right, And there wasn't even there
(13:24):
was never much faith in or belief in the idea
of enjoying your job, right. And you know, my mom
loved her job. She was a teacher and then principal,
but you know, she was kind of one of the
(13:47):
lucky ones. And even that is a particularly traditional route
to a degree, right, And I think for many people
the norm was more so like that of my father,
who you know, went to college, got a decent job,
didn't particularly like his job. But that is sort of
how things are. You get a job, you have to
provide for your family. You have to cover the cost
(14:09):
of the expenses of having a family and a house
and cars and all these different things. And part of that,
part of being able to have that is clocking in
you're forty hours a week, even if it means that
you're miserable for the majority of those forty hours you
spent there. But they justify that with the idea like, oh,
(14:32):
we have a house, we each have a car, you know,
we can take the one vacation a year, and not
to diminish or take away from any of those things.
But I guess for me, I look at all this stuff,
and now as somebody who's purchased a property, who you know,
(14:55):
his own, owns a car on his own and all
these different things. There are times where I sort of
go back and forth and I'm like, is this even
worth it? And I don't want to sound ungrateful, because
I know it's I'm privileged that I happen to have
been in a position to sort of get in right
before shit got really crazy as far as like home
(15:17):
ownership and things of that nature. But there are times
where I'm like, it's the idea of the golden handcuffs, right,
and it's the idea of like, yeah, it's amazing I'm
a homeowner and like, you know, one day I'm going
(15:38):
to sell this property. I'm going to make a profit
on it because it's accumulating in value. There's equity and
all those different things. But there's also on the flip
side of it. At times, it feels like the negative
is almost equal to the positive of it. Right, it's
(15:58):
the maintenance of the property. It's every time something goes wrong,
there's no landlord to call, and then you know, you
tell them about it. Also, you get home from work
and it's fixed, you know, if you have a good landlord,
it's up to you. And there's always some expense, so
it's always some unexpected thing to happen, you know, or
(16:20):
you know, you get an opportunity to move to another place,
or you just get a feeling where you're like, you
know what, I would love to fucking you know, experience
living in insert some random city for a year. And again,
as you get older, all these things are more difficult.
And I'm kind of just like having a train of thought,
(16:42):
so I have pot it as it's a little bit
scattered here, but I guess my my thought process in
all of this is sort of the American dream as
we know. It is not based upon a sort of
(17:12):
personalized version of what makes us happy. Right. We are
emphasizing and overemphasizing. I would argue the house, the car,
the full time job, the title, but we're emphasizing it
(17:36):
to degree at the expense of maybe something else that
would actually really make us happy. And again, that's a
personal conversation to be had with yourself. I just think,
(18:01):
I guess what my roundabout point is our parents sort
of hopped onto these ideas and then pass them down
to us, whether it be on purpose or inadvertently, without
really questioning it right, without saying like, but does it
(18:22):
make sense for me the person? And what's interesting about
the time period that we're in right now is because
it's so difficult, because it's not a sort of copy
(18:42):
and paste like maybe it was, you know, just a
decade ago or prior to that. Even you now actually
have to really think about what you want. And I
know it's frustrating to a degree, but there's probably also
a blessing there. And the idea that it costs an
(19:09):
extreme amount of money to own a home, It is
going to be very expensive if you want to have kids.
The idea then of access as well. Technology has opened
the door for a lot of different opportunities outside of
(19:30):
the traditional job scope. It's allowed you, to, at least
behind a screen, see just how vast the world is
and how much is actually out there that potentially could
interest you or that you have, you know, an itch
that you want to scratch. College is ridiculously expensive, jobs
(20:01):
are not paying what they should. So I guess what
I'm getting at with that conversation is like, all right,
if I'm going to be in a position where I'm
going to be struggling, I'd much rather struggle on my
(20:23):
own terms. Right, So, if I'm going to get a
job that I hate and still be underpaid because most
people are regardless of if they love their job or not,
and as a result, the house that I would own
(20:45):
or I'm supposed to own, making that amount of money
is going to be a burden for me. Maybe i'd
just say, you know what, fuck the house. I'll take
a little less money doing something I actually enjoy, and
maybe I'll be some sort of like nomadic person. I
don't you know, I'm not particularly tied down to just
(21:08):
thinking I'm gonna plant roots in this one place forever,
or maybe i am. But I'm fine with renting and
letting somebody else take care of the maintenance of the
property and shoveling the fucking snow and doing all the
other little things. And I want all the amenities that
comes along with living in a building or whatever it
(21:28):
might be. Like, I guess what I'm what I'm saying
is like shit is hard, like the dream is kind
of dead, and on one hand it's frustrating, but on
the other hand, it's I feel like it's made us
sort of have to stop in our tracks to a
degree and say, like, but what the fuck do I
actually want in a way that maybe previous generations didn't
(21:53):
question because it wasn't so difficult, right, because it was like,
you know what, the job that I hate that probably
should be paying me more money and overworks me. Like
in previous generations, yeah, the job sucked, but like it
was easier to get college degree, all right, cool, send
(22:16):
us a resume in you know, it's an easier process.
Now It's like, bro, even to get a job you
fucking despise is difficult. How overly saturated it is. Everybody
has a college degree, everybody's online applying for the same
fucking job. Like, even to get a job that you
absolutely despise, it's difficult. So with that in mind, it's like, well,
(22:38):
if the fucking shit I hate is going to be difficult,
i'd mind. I've rap much rather struggle at least doing
something I like doing, or having more freedom or more
control over my life. And that's counteractive to the American dream.
Even when we talk about children, there's a lot of
people of my generation, younger millennials are sort of foregoing
(23:02):
that right because I think there are a lot of
people who probably shouldn't have been parents to begin with,
never really wanted that, but felt like it was what
they're supposed to do, or got married and never really
wanted that. And I know there's a lot of factors,
(23:24):
a lot of different ways we can kind of go
about this conversation of the American dream. Obviously, I'm talking
about it from the context of, like what makes you happy?
What does success look like to you? And I guess
(23:47):
I also want to look at it from the perspective of, like,
what's the reality of the world we live in, and
how can we make the most of it and make
our version of the dream come true? And I guess
that'll be the next portion of the show. So we'll
(24:09):
take a pause here, we'll take a quick break, and
then we'll be right back. All right, we are back,
And last thing I want to touch on this, I
like using the whole ownership example, And I was just
kind of thinking about this as I kind of like
took a breath. A lot of people like they dream
(24:32):
about owning property, and I was one of those people, right,
And I don't I again, I'm grateful that I was
able to make that happen. But I think for me
and I really I I'm like hesitant how to say this,
because I don't want, you know, I feel like I'm
(24:56):
in I'm in a very privileged place, you know, by
my own doing and by God's doing. But I was
lucky enough that I was able to purchase that house,
that property with money I made doing things that I
actually enjoyed or that you know, we're in the realm
of what I enjoyed doing. There's always work that you're
(25:17):
kind of like, I don't feel like fucking doing this today,
But it's all in the scope of something I enjoy doing,
and for the most part, in a manner, I enjoyed
doing it. But if you were to flip it on
its head, right, and I think I bought I'm almost
at ninety nine and a half. I almost at ten
years with the company. It'll be that in November with
iHeart in various roles, but ten years with this company
(25:43):
in various ways on and off, and I bought my
first property. We closed beginning of twenty twenty one, so
four years ago, so six years with the company. I
was able to have generated enough money and was working
(26:03):
consistently with everything else I was doing to be able
to close on my first property, And in retrospect, if
you told me I had to do six years at
a job I hated in order to achieve that dream,
I'd probably question whether or not it was worth it, right,
(26:24):
And that's I guess what I'm trying to get. Like,
I fel like our parents' generation, and for some of
you listening who are a little bit older, it might
be your generation as well. The concept was each shit
for the idea that you're going to be able to
check the American dream box. But truthfully, having personally been
(26:50):
able to check the American dream box in that manner,
if I had to do it the way that my
father did, and I was talking to like me six
years ago, I would say, dude, I don't think it's
worth it, because, yeah, I'm fortunate enough that when I
(27:14):
sell this property, I'm gonna have made some money off
of it. Which, now, if you purchased it probably after
I did, I don't know how much you're going to
walk away with, you know, especially right now, is like
depending when you bought it, you know, and not to
get into like all real estate shit, but like you know,
the market has been really bad over the last year
(27:37):
or so. So if you had purchased your property in
the last year and a half, your markup is not
going to be crazy. And I guess my point being
not even I'm getting off topic now go to a
fucking real estate podcast, but my point being, can you
(27:59):
put a price tag on six years of your life?
That's what my point would be, because yeah, I like,
you know, don't get it wrong, We'll get it twisted.
I sacrificed so much in that in those six years.
I worked crazy hours, but literally some of the best
years of my entire life, and it's all connected to
(28:24):
Much of it is connected to my career, Like the
experiences that I got to have as a result of
what I did were so much fun, So it was
more than worth it. Even if I didn't get to
buy the house. It was the experience alone was incredible.
But if the experience was again what my father had,
miserable on the way to work, miserable at work, miserable
(28:47):
on the way home, five days a week, forty plus
hours a week, I don't think it's worth it. If
that's the sacrifice I have to make to own this
property and check that box. I don't see that it's
worth it. And again, we're all different, we all have
different goals and different things in mind. But I think
(29:14):
for me, I would much rather say, hey, Okay, I'm
just gonna have like a modest apartment and maybe make
less money, but at least I could do something I love,
or I'm gonna have less bills. I'm gonna have a
modest apartment, and that means I could take more risks
on ideas that I want to create, entrepreneurial ventures and
things of that nature. Like that's what I would do
(29:38):
if those were my options. Essentially, if my options again
were work a job you hate, to get a bit of,
you know, get the americatory of buying a house, I
would choose the one where I could do more of
what I like doing, even if it means i'm quote
unquote not you know, sort of doing what I'm supposed
to be doing. And I touched on that touch on
(30:00):
this with when it comes to people having kids, Like
a lot of people are realizing, like you know now,
that it's like ridiculously expensive to have kids, and it's
scary to have kids in general. With everything happening in
the world, a lot more people are like taking a
bit more of a beat to think about if it's
(30:20):
what they really want, right, And there are a lot
of people are deciding, you know what, I don't really
want that that level of responsibility is something that I'm
not really wanting, And I really would have just been
into it because it's what I'm supposed to do, because
I'm tired of people asking me about having a kid.
(30:41):
You know, I'm supposed to get married and have a kid,
or I don't you know? Or you we lived in
a world that was a bit more of a bubble
where you didn't realize, like, you know, how much freedom
you could have to travel the world to do all
these different things whatever, whatever fucking floats your boat. What
I'm saying is I'm I don't know. Maybe I'm optimistically thinking,
(31:02):
like the American dream being seemingly dead maybe isn't such
a bad thing, because maybe it means we're going to
be able to live. We're going to be able to
begin to think and live and chase lives that are
far more authentic and unique to us and what makes
us actually happy rather than what would make our parents
(31:25):
proud or would make our peers jealous or would stack
up to what our peers are doing. Maybe in that sense,
it's not so bad. On the other side of it,
when it comes to sort of the way the world
is going, we're moving in a place of extreme capitalism,
(31:48):
we're moving in a place of just extreme greed, and
we're moving at such a rapid rate as far as
technology goes that there are very few industries that are safe.
And we're also moving societally in an ideological way in
(32:17):
which we devalue industries like education. I mean, we're seeing
you know, this is a political episode, but all that
Trump is doing, and you know, just so much of
what's being taken away from the fabric of our country.
(32:43):
I it's just like, I don't know. I'm trying to
I'm not trying to, like I don't want to. I'm
trying to not scare anybody, but I'm also trying to
make people realize. From my perspective, the writing on the
wall to me is no one is safe, No industry
is safe, no job title, like nothing can be counted on.
(33:14):
Like I really, if you're under a particular age and
you don't have a crazy amount of money, like fuck you,
money put away. I don't think anybody's really safe, Like
I don't think the idea of like a safe, good
job like we were promised, you know, our parents would
talk about. I don't think that that exists. I mean, shit,
(33:34):
it didn't exist even for my father towards the end
of his career. So I guess what I'm getting at
is with all of that in mind, because jobs aren't
going to pay you what you deserve. They're not going
to pay what is sort of the market is demanding
(34:00):
in terms of what is fair for you in terms
of what you know, being able to pay your mortgage
and rent and all these different things. The wage stagnation
that is happening, the job opportunities that are lacking, the
way everything is becoming more and more expensive. We have
(34:26):
to move into a place where I think the American
dream is no longer the college degree, the job, the home,
the white pick offense, the marriage, and the kids. And
it could be that's what you want, but I think
(34:49):
the reality is ownership. And when I say ownership, I
mean real ownership. I don't mean a house, I don't
(35:09):
mean a car. I mean ownership over your life and
being in control of as much of it as you
possibly can be. Nothing bothers me more, Nothing makes me
more restless or frustrated than the idea that when I
(35:40):
feel helpless. Essentially, it's why I have so many different
jobs and hustles and different things that I do because,
and maybe it's the nature of the entertainment industry. The
irony is that was sort of like the knock on
the entertainment industry is just how up and down it
can be. And now we're realizing that, like every other
industry is becoming that. Essentially, and at least in the
(36:03):
entertainment industry, you enjoy what you do if you're in
it for the right reasons. But I think the lesson that
others can apply from my own strategy experience is I
think that level of uncertainty that I've had to deal
with as a result of what I do for a living,
(36:23):
I think that's now in the future moving forward, going
to be the norm for almost every single industry. I mean,
even look at like the federal government, right, even the
people who are doing essential roles from our aviation to
the irs, they don't even have job security because now
(36:47):
you have a new regime in there that is saying,
you know what, we don't value your jobs or what
you do goodbye on a whim. In a short period
of time, nothing is safe. And again I don't want
(37:08):
to scare anybody. I'm not trying to yell bloody murder.
I'm not trying to make you paranoid. But maybe a hell,
there is a way to have a healthy level of
paranoia where you don't rely on anything and you always
sort of keep in the back of your mind or
always sort of keep an eye out for the next
opportunity around the corner. And it's exhausting to a degree
to live that way, right, I think there are certain things,
(37:30):
you know, strategies maybe you can implement to save yourself
from that a bit that That's something I've been trying
to get a bit better at. But again, I think
moving forward, there's an opportunity amidst the chaos, I guess,
is what I'm trying to get at. Yes, things are hard,
(37:57):
Yes things are difficult. Yes we were essentially to Yes
the dreams we were sold no longer exist. But with
that said, if the quote unquote safe route is risky,
then that should give us far more confidence in taking
(38:18):
risks on things that we actually enjoy. That we actually
are passionate about. And I think that's sort of I
(38:40):
guess if I was to talk to if I had
kids and I was telling them about like what their
goals should be, like, it's make make the dream personal
for you at the end of the day, right, fuck
what you're supposed to be doing, Like, fuck what people
make you feel bad about, like your whatever, Like make
(39:02):
it make sense for you. It's not crazy to be
somebody who, like you know, decides they want to go
live in a warm climate for on the beach somewhere
for a year or whatever, or they don't want to
be tied down to one air like you can make
it make sense for you. And I think you have
(39:22):
to make it make sense for you because there are
so many people who have spent their lives playing it
safe and doing what they're supposed to do, only to
be slacked in the face by a world that constantly
(39:43):
reminds you that there's no such thing as the safe route.
There's no such thing as the quote unquote right way.
And I think it's even more sort of obvious in
the current climate than ever. We're moving into a place
(40:11):
where the world is favoring far more the wealthy than
ever before, where there's a disappearing middle class. And I
think again, when you can sort of reassess and get
(40:33):
clear on what really makes you happy and what success
truly truly is, then you don't have to tolerate as
much of the world's bullshit, or you can try to
design your life in such a way that doesn't rely
(40:55):
so heavily on being plugged into what your quote unquote
supposed to do. I just, I just I don't know.
I have this just like I've had this feeling in
my gut, and not like not a good one of
(41:28):
I don't know of. It's not even a gut feeling.
I'm trying to like because I have certain things in mind.
I don't want to err people out or or whatever
it might be. But like I've watched just so many
people like unexpectedly lost their job thinking they were safe,
or I've seen like how ruthless some of these people
(41:53):
in positions of power are. I've personally seen it, and
I've seen how those people are rewarded for their ruthlessness
by the higher ups. And again we're kind of seeing
it in real time with Elon Musk and the way
(42:13):
that he's being rewarded for being this just like savage
when it comes to people's livelihoods and their jobs and
things like that, And I often question or think about,
(42:40):
like how much of the things that I desire or
that I go after are truly because I want them
in my heart of hearts and how much of it
is stuff that's been programmed into me by society or
(43:01):
by my parents, like even you know, to be completely vulnerable.
I've been thinking about kids, like recently, like I've always
said I want kids, and I've always envisioned having kids.
And while I'm not saying I don't want them, for
(43:24):
the first time in my life, I really am thinking
what if I didn't get have kids, Like what if
that is just not really what I want? What if
that doesn't actually line up with like how I enjoy
(43:45):
moving through life? Right, And like, again I don't I'm
not decided in either way. But this is like, but
if you would have asked me this a year ago,
I would have said, there's no way in hell I'm
not having kids now, sort of like as you begin
to have the realities of like the cost and you know,
(44:07):
I know it's not the same, but I have a
dog you know, And there's a lot of times where
and I have a dog who it's my own fault.
I haven't done a great job of socializing him with like,
you know, friends and things like that. So really the
only place he can go and he feels good and
(44:27):
he's not like, you know, scared or aggressive is my parents' house.
So I have to coordinate with them if I'm going
to be gone, you know. So there are days I
have to go into the city, I have to go
to the radio station. You know, I'm here right now
at the radio station recording this. I've been got all day.
I dropped them off this morning, you know. Or I'm
been detailing a lot more and some traveling gigs are
(44:51):
coming up and I have to like coordinate. Oh well,
they were going to go away during a certain time.
So now I'm like, right, well, can I can you
guys go away this date? Because I need to. I'm
booked this date. And these are little things, but this
is just for a fucking dog who I love. But
also it's like, ma'am, it's drastically affecting me doing more
(45:13):
of what I enjoy doing. And obviously everything in life
comes with a level of sacrifice. I always say yes
to one thing is a note of something else. But
the question you have to ask yourself, and the sort
of honest answer you have to try to give yourself,
is is it worth the sacrifice? Right? Do I want
(45:41):
this enough to sacrifice the other thing that I'm interested in? Right?
For me, I love being able to go on a whim,
you know, and like, you know, I'm playing some gigs
in in Puerto Rico at the end of this month,
and I just booked the plane ticket there and I'm
(46:05):
kind of keeping it a little bit open ended as
far as the return flight. I'm just like watching, you know,
prices and like times and dates and like seeing what
makes the most sense. I couldn't do that. If I
had a kid, I could better do it. And I
have a fucking dog. And again I'm not saying like
(46:26):
I don't want to, you know, be responsible to hang
out my dog. I don't love it, like, but again,
it's just having an honest conversation with myself and saying, like,
what do you really want? Like what makes sense for you?
Like fuck what you're supposed to be doing, what actually
is making sense for you? What actually fits in with
(46:50):
the parts of your life that make you happy and
fulfill you. And again, as if every fucking thing in
this world is difficult, then it's not or too ney
for you to just say, you know what, if it's
gonna be difficult the quote unquote easy way, then I
might as well just fucking take the harder route if
it means I'm gonna actually have some fucking happiness. Like
(47:11):
if they both are gonna suck, the path is gonna
suck both ways, I might as well at least, fucking,
you know, take the slightly more difficult path that is
going to have far more moments of joy than the
other one, just because it makes sense on fucking paper.
And I think that's maybe the emphasis on it all
is like redefining success on our own terms, like the
(47:36):
American dream is dead. What our parents were promised, what
they were striving for for us either doesn't exist or
never really made sense, or on a deeper level, was
never meant for people like us. So as much as
that sucks to sort of hear to a degree, there's
also I think a blessing in like, let's just get
(47:57):
down to what really makes us happy and live life
according to that. Fuck everything else I'll leave it that
for the sake of time, but we'll tie everything we
talked about today in a neat little bow and a
segment called Conclusions do. But first we'll take a quick
break and they'll be right back time for comp All right,
(48:28):
So I threw so much out there, like I'm I
think a broken record, but I'm literally that I'm thinking
out loud a lot of times on these episodes. I
really like, I really am thinking out loud, and oftentimes
like I'm thinking about Like if I'm thinking about this
or it's resonating with me to a degree, I want
(48:51):
to share it and like plant the seed in your
brain and maybe make you think about something in a
different manner. But I guess kind of some arizing what
we've been talking about. I think, in general, the American
dream was this idea or this blueprint that was never
really created for us, right. It was founded and predicated
(49:15):
and based upon opportunities that were not created or given
to people of color oftentimes, and as a result, I
think we've spent generations sort of killing ourselves to achieve
(49:36):
this thing without ever really stopping to think, does this
actually align with what I personally want? And I think
now as like the world is more difficult as people
are beginning to be a bit more open minded. I
(49:59):
think we're sort of being faced with like far more options,
which is bad in a certain way, but in other
ways positive as far as like I get to really
sort of think about what I want my life to
look like, and the options for that are endless rather
than just like this finite blueprint that again was based
(50:23):
upon programs and communities that were never meant for us
to be a part of. And I started this conversation
(50:47):
talking about kind of what sparked the idea of like
reading this article about Puerto Rico and like opportunity sort
of dwindling as far as home ownership goes, and like
and even with there, they're a problem rant as well
to a degree, not keeping up with you know, what
(51:09):
wages are and it's frustrating, and my heart goes out
to anybody in that situation, regardless of where you're from.
But again, the mindset then needs to be like what
am I not seeing or what can I do to
create what is not there? I guess what I'm sort
of getting at is, like I do believe the old
(51:31):
way of relying on corporate America or traditional job markets
and titles and standards, however you gonna word it. I
do believe those days are coming to an end in
terms of them being a sort of end all, be
(51:53):
all means of you supporting yourself financially. And again, there
are going to be certain industries niches that like are
going to be fine potentially, but I think they're gonna
be far more that are going to be drastically affected
than not affected. And I think, again it's scary and
(52:16):
it's frustrating, but there's also opportunity there. I think if
we're smart, if we take the time to think about it,
there's opportunity for us to then create what would actually
make us happy, to then push ourselves to get crafty
to create opportunity, and in creating that opportunity, matching it
(52:36):
with our you know, our given abilities and what we're
naturally drawn to as far as enjoying and our passion
as a means to to, you know, our passion gets
created as that I fucked up like a quote about
past thing. I was watching a video that popped up
that like, passion is really like your interest in your
skill aligning for the right thing basically, and you find
(53:01):
that through trial and error. Oftentimes, many people never even
went through the trial and error process because they were
living in fear of the unknown, so they went the
safe route, or they were chasing the blueprint of what
(53:27):
they were quote unquote supposed to be doing and just
ignoring the inner voice in their mind that maybe had
a counter idea of what life looked like beyond that.
So I guess I would end with like a call
to action and pose a couple questions of really, what
(53:49):
does success look like to you? Like what does it
really look like to you? And allow yourself to sort
of have that honest conversation. And it might look different
(54:12):
than it did when you were growing up or when
you're in your twenties or thirties. A year ago, two
months ago, a minute ago, it could be ever changing.
But what does success look like to you? This world
is in a weird fucking place. Nothing is easy. The
(54:36):
safe route is not safe. The easy route is not easy.
But we're not doomed. It just means we need to
now write our own definition of success, Like we can't
walk the paths that have been laid out before, like
they don't exist anymore, and I guess the other question
(55:00):
would be, how are you defining your own version of
the dream? Fuck what the judicial American dream has been,
how are you defining your own version of it? I'll
leave you, which is kind of like what's running through
my head in my gut. I'm called to Puerto Rico,
(55:28):
which is crazy to me in so many ways because
I'm like a New York City kid who I love
it through and through and I love the chaos, the hustle,
like I've loved it the fucking you know, always doing
something and this, that and the third. But as I'm
(55:52):
getting older, I'm kind of just like the value of
sort of being in the mix all the time. It's
becoming less and less for me. Now. Don't get me wrong,
my brain is always going I always have to be occupied,
(56:12):
but like that sort of hyper I don't know, hyper
like connectivity or hyper I can't even think the word
right now, that like hyper like the stimulation, that over stimulation.
(56:38):
It's kind of like not very appealing to me right
And even in the industry I work in, it's like,
if I have to sit here and have consistent interactions
with people I don't like or respect, the opportunity is
(57:01):
not that appealing to me, as great as it might
look on paper, as cool as some of the checks
might be, whatever it is like the people I have
to interact with as a result like that, I weigh
that just as heavily as anything else, and even for
(57:24):
me owning property and things like that, when I bought it,
I'll leave you kind of with this. I know we're
getting long on the episode, but when I bought it,
I didn't really give a shit where I was buying
the property as long as it was like close enough
that I could still make the commute into the city.
You know. I didn't care about like the local culture
(57:45):
or whatever it might be. It was like, I don't care.
I just want to fucking own something, and I'm happy
I did, and it's provided a lot of great things
for me. But now, sort of having seen how the
other half lives, it is important to me to like
(58:07):
wanna walk around my neighborhood and like interact with people
that I actually want to interact with, to be inspired
by what's happening, or to feel like I'm a part
of something, And there's not much of that where I
live in fucking suburban New Jersey. And again that's why
(58:31):
I like when I'm in Puerto Rico, I'm like, oh man,
I'm just like I feel like a different person. I'm
a bit more at peace, I'm a bit more like
inclined to talk to strangers and to like want to
have that interaction. I feel like I'm a part of something,
there's something. It's just a different vibe. And again, for
(58:56):
most people it would be like why the fuck would you?
And for some of you, it's gonna be like, you know,
if you don't, if you're not like a city person,
it's like, yeah, the dream is always to go retire
to like a calm, fucking tropical place, you know. That's
when people move to Florida and the shit. But like,
particularly in the entertainment industry, I'm somebody who works in
(59:18):
the number one market in my entire radio specifically industry.
There's no bigger place, there's no bigger paychecks coming in
the world of like radio or whatever. It is, like,
it's New York's New York. It's the mecca. But I'm
(59:39):
just kind of like, okay, cool. But on a deeper level,
day to day, I'm far happier in a place like
Puerto Rico than I am being in the city every
day or being around the buzz of this you know market.
And yeah, it means maybe taking a paca or having
(01:00:00):
less opportunities for certain bigger, high profile interviews or things
like that as far as in person goes or gigs, whatever.
But on a day to day basis, if my quality
of life, my happiness is more somewhere else, who gives
a fuck about the extra accolades those like that, they're
not actually those That's that's fucking surface level of value.
(01:00:24):
And that's so much of what the American dream has been,
you know, sold to us as And no, I'll leave
it at that. Now that the American dream is more
and more difficult to get, I feel like there's a
wake up call happening of realizing a that was bullshit
to begin with, but b it was just based on
a bunch of superficial, surface level fucking achievements that didn't
(01:00:49):
really add value to our quality of life aside from
to be fair, you know, a level of peace of
mind that comes along with knowing you have money to
you know, keep a roof over your head and to
pay the bills and to you know, have food on
(01:01:12):
the table. But again, you wouldn't have to work so much,
or work, you know, a job you hate, if you
didn't have to pay for a certain car or a
certain house in a certain neighborhood, or wear certain clothing
like that. You know, like these are the things we
really have to sort of strip down. Like a lot
(01:01:33):
of this shit is surface level, superficial stuff, just food
for thought. Why I always say that I have nothing
else to say, but yeah, I challenge everybody to kind
of reframe the idea of the American dream and listen,
the world is chaotic as fuck right now. It's scary.
(01:01:53):
There's a lot to be paranoid about. But I think,
as I also said the last point, I'll leave for
real over this time, I think there's there's benefit to
have a healthy level of paranoia and as much chaos
as happening in the world right now. I think there's
also because of that opportunity to deviate from the beaten
path and just write your own story. Because everything is
(01:02:16):
a lie. Basically everything else we've been taught is a lot.
Everything is difficult, everything is hard. You might as well
struggle doing something you love rather than struggle doing things
that you hate and I'll leave it there. Thank you
so much for tuning in. I will catch you on
Thursday with a brand new episode, our Thursday Trends episode,
So then stay safe, we'll talk soon. Burse Life as
(01:02:40):
a Grigo is a production of the micro Thura podcast
network and iHeartRadio
Host
DJ Dramos
Popular Podcasts
40s and Free Agents: NFL Draft Season
Daniel Jeremiah of Move the Sticks and Gregg Rosenthal of NFL Daily join forces to break down every team's needs this offseason.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang
Ding dong! Join your culture consultants, Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, on an unforgettable journey into the beating heart of CULTURE. Alongside sizzling special guests, they GET INTO the hottest pop-culture moments of the day and the formative cultural experiences that turned them into Culturistas. Produced by the Big Money Players Network and iHeartRadio.