Living in Separate Houses with Hannah Berner

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi, Catherine.

Speaker 2 (00:01):
Oh hello, Chelsea.

Speaker 3 (00:02):
Say you're at the end of November, which means it's
almost December.

Speaker 2 (00:06):
Has this your gone so fast for you?

Speaker 4 (00:09):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (00:09):
When I'm touring, things go by pretty quickly.

Speaker 5 (00:11):
I'm sure. Do you just like blinking you are home
again after months?

Speaker 4 (00:14):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (00:14):
I mean it's just been so crazy. Vanessa, the woman
who opens for me, I mean, I say woman, but
she's more of a baby.

Speaker 1 (00:21):
I consider her to be my baby.

Speaker 3 (00:23):
I mean, she's she says she's thirty eight, but whatever,
I don't believe it. That means I had her when
I was twelve. No, thirty eight, I had her when
I was ten. It must have been rough.

Speaker 1 (00:33):
Anyway.

Speaker 3 (00:33):
She's become ridiculous on tour and her behavior is astonishing.

Speaker 1 (00:37):
So I mean, I just don't even.

Speaker 2 (00:38):
Do you have Do you have receipts? Do you have examples?

Speaker 3 (00:41):
I have a lot of video footage of her shoplifting
and out of the green room.

Speaker 1 (00:45):
She takes stuff from the green room. She goes grocery shopping.

Speaker 3 (00:47):
I mean it's not really shoplifting, but it's just helping herself.
She goes through the green room and literally does her
grocery shopping through the green room, Like she's like, oh,
here's an orange and apple.

Speaker 1 (00:55):
There's like a brick of cheddar and.

Speaker 3 (00:57):
Then she just puts it in her purse and then
like I'll be like, hey, do you have an edible?
And she's like takes out an orange, an apple, a banana,
she had like bags and nuts. I'm like, are you
are you treating this like a United flight? Like ridiculous?
And I mean we have had a really ridiculous time.
And she's very hard not to like cuddle and tickle,

(01:19):
you know that, because she's just so adorable. But I
have to keep my hands off of her because she's
she's going to claim allegations against workplace.

Speaker 2 (01:26):
Workplace.

Speaker 1 (01:27):
Yeah, I know, I know. I'm not good at that stuff.
I'm just too affectionate.

Speaker 5 (01:32):
So our guest today does stand up, but she didn't
always do stand up, and she talked about like the
first time she did stand up, she was like, oh wait,
this is totally for me. Did you feel that way
when you started or no?

Speaker 3 (01:45):
So I was just like, oh my god, this is
gonna give me so much diarrhea, Like it was so
nerve wrecking and just I just couldn't. Yeah, stand up
is scary Yeah, I mean, I'm so grateful I'm at
a place where I feel so in control of what
I'm doing and I know how to handle myself. But
stand up in the begin is very scary when people
like people are a dick. There are stand ups who
are addicted to being on stage and that can not

(02:06):
get off stage, and then there are stand ups who
are just like, you know, I'm not like that.

Speaker 1 (02:10):
I'm not like I have to.

Speaker 3 (02:11):
Be on stage for two hours or I have to
go do five sets when I have a week off.

Speaker 1 (02:15):
I feel nothing like that. Yeah, but when I am
on stage.

Speaker 3 (02:18):
I love it and I love, you know, telling a
story from beginning to end, which is basically what my
stand up is storytelling. Yeah, I mean I loved it,
but I was it was so scary that the scary
kind of was commensurate to the joy.

Speaker 4 (02:31):
Well.

Speaker 5 (02:31):
I feel like, especially for people who are starting out,
like you go into a room where stand up is
being performed, and like it's almost like the audience is
like daring you to fail, you know, in small rooms
or with starting comedians.

Speaker 3 (02:43):
I feel like it must be so difficult to start
it is, But a good thing for everyone to remember
is if you're if you're doing that. And this applies
to anything, like when you have a fucking great attitude
and you get on stage and you're beaming, it is
infectious to the audience. So if you have a great
attitude and you're feeling positive and you're happy, you're gonna
do great. Everything's gonna go great, because even if you

(03:05):
tell a joke that bombs, your disposition will be so
fun and happy that it doesn't matter, you know what
I mean. You can laugh with the audience about not
getting laughs.

Speaker 2 (03:14):
Yeah, yeah, Chelsea. Should we get to our guest.

Speaker 3 (03:17):
You can find our guest today on her podcast, Burner
Phone and Giggly Squad. Tickets for her comedy tour are
available at Hannahburner dot com. Please welcome comedian, podcast host
and digital creator Hannah Burner. Okay, Hannah, we both have
the same publicists, so we have like three publicists that
are on there.

Speaker 4 (03:34):
Don't say anything, so we're not allowed to say anything today.

Speaker 3 (03:37):
And I told them, like, I mean, they must just
be listening to this to just you know, not have
to do anything for the.

Speaker 1 (03:41):
Hour, because well they do, they do.

Speaker 3 (03:44):
I love this is my first of all my pr
team and your PR team are the best PR teams.

Speaker 4 (03:48):
No, they're for the girls.

Speaker 1 (03:49):
I have never been.

Speaker 3 (03:50):
I've been through so many publicists in this town, and
you know, I do have a difficult personality, but this
is the best publicity team I've ever worked.

Speaker 4 (03:57):
You're a self aware of queen.

Speaker 1 (03:59):
Yeah yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 (04:00):
They said good things about you because I wanted the tea.
I was like, Chelsea, is she a monster? They were like,
we're obsessed with her. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (04:06):
No, I'm a good girl.

Speaker 4 (04:07):
Yeah, she's good.

Speaker 1 (04:07):
Yeah. I take care of my people, and my people
take care of me.

Speaker 4 (04:10):
So I also have to tell you we've met before.

Speaker 1 (04:12):
Oh shit, no, all the time.

Speaker 4 (04:13):
No, but it's not an embarrassing thing, like you missed
me right after college years ago.

Speaker 1 (04:19):
How old are you.

Speaker 4 (04:20):
I'm thirty two, So ten years ago. So I was
on the tennis teams. Yeah, they didn't let you take
too many classes. So after college I was teaching tennis
that summer in Shelter Island.

Speaker 1 (04:32):
Oh, oh my god, I took a tennis class with you.

Speaker 4 (04:35):
We played doubles together, babe, Andre, So he wasn't there,
your ex boy toy. I was getting paid by my
sugar grandpa to play doubles with these older men.

Speaker 1 (04:45):
Sugar Grandpa to Sugar Grandpa. Does that mean you were
dating him?

Speaker 4 (04:49):
No? But he was giving me too much money to
play tennis, like for a young twenty two year old.
It was like two hundred dollars for an hour. Oh
that was like lawyer money. No, I know, because they
didn't pay. But anyway, so I had to play doubles
with these old men and he goes, oh, Chelsea's coming today.
And I didn't know who you who Chelsea was, and
you show up and I'm like, oh, as a Chelsea

(05:10):
Lately fan, I was like, this is an awesome morning
that I didn't anticipate. And you turn to me and
you go, let's fucking beat these boys. And I got
so nervous. I like double faulted and you were like, no,
it's okay. And then we just demolished them. And then
I never saw you again, and I was like, Chelsea
night kicked ass. So that was.

Speaker 1 (05:31):
So good. Right now, I.

Speaker 4 (05:32):
Know tennis is like cool now. It wasn't cool when
I was a kid.

Speaker 1 (05:35):
No, tennis is cool now, you know.

Speaker 3 (05:36):
Well, pickleball is trying to be cool, but I wish
pick a ball would just shut the fuck up for
two seconds.

Speaker 4 (05:42):
A cult.

Speaker 3 (05:42):
Everyone wants to talk about pickleball all the time. It
is it's cult, Like.

Speaker 4 (05:46):
It's cult that you stop talking to your family. You
only talk, you only dress in pick a ball outfits.

Speaker 3 (05:51):
And any talk of sports right now, guys, you have
to know that I had knee surgery and any talk
of sports is like it hurts my knee because I'm
so excited. No, I got my fixed so that I
can ski this week, this week, this winter. I'm an
avid skier. So I got my knee scoped out, and
then I went home and I was all hopped up
on medication and anesthesiology, and I was feeling great. But

(06:16):
then you wake up and you're like, fuck, I can't
take all this medicaid. You feel like your body is
so polluted. Yeah, you just bloated, like from all of
the fluids they put you. I'm like, cool it with
the fluid, IV Like, I don't need that much fluid.

Speaker 4 (06:30):
No, you're like an Olympic athlete that needs to be
ready for her I know, gold season.

Speaker 3 (06:34):
So I had to limp in here like limp biscuits
and to meet with you.

Speaker 1 (06:38):
But I'm happy that you're here in person, in New
York City.

Speaker 4 (06:40):
Oh, thank you, This is like such an honor. But
I also my husband who.

Speaker 1 (06:44):
Brought I can't believe you're married.

Speaker 4 (06:46):
I know it's very off.

Speaker 1 (06:48):
Oh yeah it is.

Speaker 4 (06:49):
He's an older Like.

Speaker 3 (06:51):
Don't strike me as someone who would be married when
I watch your videos online, which are very funny. By
the way, thank you're really funny. I like your attitude
and your.

Speaker 4 (06:59):
I think you paved the way for me. But yeah,
getting married was not a plan. It happened during the pandemic.
I'm at an older man. He's very tired, forty seven. Oh,
and he likes to golf, he likes to ski, he
likes to chill.

Speaker 3 (07:13):
How did you meet him during the pandemic when you're
supposed to stay six feet apart from people?

Speaker 4 (07:17):
He dm me because I was in Shelter Island and
he was in like West Hampton, and he was like,
do you want to get coffee?

Speaker 1 (07:24):
How did he know you?

Speaker 4 (07:26):
Through the comedy world? But he lived in Ireland. He
actually small world. He's friends with Ursula Carlson and they
were working on a script one.

Speaker 3 (07:34):
Oh yeah, I know last so she's hilarious.

Speaker 1 (07:38):
Oh she's from New Zealand, right.

Speaker 4 (07:40):
She's anyone from New Zealand makes me laugh, but she's
ridiculous next level. Yeah, yeah, I can't wait till the
States discovers.

Speaker 1 (07:47):
I know we tried to do a show with her.
I think I don't.

Speaker 4 (07:50):
Remember what he was on the show with. He was
like the co writer.

Speaker 1 (07:52):
Oh that's funny. Wow.

Speaker 4 (07:53):
Probably so you dated my husband before? Oh okay, so yeah.
We we got engaged in like six months and it
was kind of like, I decenter men from my life.

Speaker 1 (08:02):
You want decenter men, decenterment because in like.

Speaker 4 (08:05):
You don't make any decisions based on men, right, I.

Speaker 3 (08:08):
See, Well, I like that phrasing. I've never heard that before.
Decenter men.

Speaker 4 (08:11):
I think the gen Z girlies are saying it, but
I think you really live by that, Like you do.
What makes you happy brings you joy and if people
come great and if they don't, who gives a fuck.
But you're not gonna force or change things.

Speaker 3 (08:23):
Or act or be The word desperate is very uh
you know when people I find things to be very
desperate sometimes when people talk when people are searching so
hard to find someone.

Speaker 1 (08:34):
Yeah, there's a desperation to it.

Speaker 3 (08:36):
And it's like, if you really were happy with yourself
and you can get to a place where you are really,
really happy. It's totally fine to want to meet somebody,
but to have that be like your main objective feels
like you're missing a piece of the pot.

Speaker 4 (08:48):
Like you betray who you are to make someone like
you're you know, when you have a full plan of
like how to run into somebody, like I have a
full chart. Yeah, I'm like, Okay, he's gonna, you know,
have to go to the bathroom at this time, and
I'm gonna run into him. And sometimes you do get
the guy, and then you're like, fuck, like this isn't me.
I forced this, and I don't like koam with him?

Speaker 3 (09:06):
Well all so well, that of course, but that's you know, Listen,
in our twenties, we act like idiots because that's what
we're supposed to be doing, and you can obsess and
crave and I mean even sometimes in your thirties. Yeah,
and a lot of my thirties. It wasn't until my
forties that I had enough self confidence. And I'm like, wait,
I don't care if you like me first, that's not
enough for me to like you back.

Speaker 4 (09:27):
I know, the second you hear someone liked you, I'm like,
he's like cool, Like you could be a gremlin, and
I'm like, funny.

Speaker 3 (09:34):
I have an experiment that I've been trying out with
myself for a while now where I don't even if
it's non sexual, you know, like just a person or
another celebrity or a regular person. Just because they dislike
me doesn't mean I don't like them.

Speaker 1 (09:49):
You know what I mean. That's fucking I'm like, wow,
your opinion.

Speaker 3 (09:52):
Of me has nothing to do with me anyway, So
I could still like you if you don't like me.

Speaker 4 (09:56):
It's like a troll comments and you go, I love
your sweater. I love your sweater and your profile picture.
You're gorgeous, You're stunning. But sometimes it also doesn't have
to do with you. They're projecting their shit. So anyway,
this guy came along and he was out of time
in my life. I was very focused on myself, and
I was like, this is nice. It's nice to have
a husband in a way, like obviously all not all
husbands are the same, different ratings per husband, but I

(10:18):
don't have to stress about dating. It's kind of like, okay, check,
I have this like partner in crime, and now I
could focus on myself and he's very like, I'm very
I'm on the road all the time, Like I've never
seen him.

Speaker 1 (10:28):
That's right, you're on Twitter.

Speaker 4 (10:28):
I've seen him forever.

Speaker 1 (10:29):
Do you like being on the road.

Speaker 4 (10:31):
I like being on the road because my apartment's a mess.
So i walk into a hotel room and I'm like
a monster. I'm like, why did no one clean these tablets? Yeah,
and I'm like, I love living that simple life. I
also like saying I'm on the road and people leave
me alone.

Speaker 1 (10:44):
It's the right way to get out of shit.

Speaker 4 (10:46):
I'm just napping, Like I'm napping from two to five
and then I go on stage.

Speaker 1 (10:49):
I wish I could nap. I can't nap.

Speaker 3 (10:52):
It's a gift, it is. I don't know why I
don't have that gene. But if I take a nap.
First of all, if I took a three hour nap,
I would be dead when I woke up. I get
up early and I need and I even when I'm tired,
I just cannot sleep during the day.

Speaker 1 (11:04):
It doesn't matter what is going on.

Speaker 4 (11:05):
Well, I was telling our PR team, I was like,
don't put me on anything before like ten am, because
I'm a big sleeper. I also, I think I deal
with some depression where like, I mean, I could fall
asleep anywhere, and so it's almost nice for me to rest.
But then, yeah, I don't know what state I am in.
I don't know where I am, but the adrenaline hits
me when I get on stage. Yeah, but I enjoy
the road. But I'm also lucky now that I'm like
I'm doing theaters now where women. I mean, we could

(11:28):
talk forever about this, but like, being a woman on
the road is difficult. It's difficult being alone, especially if
you like can't afford ubers or you're just you put
in a lot of awkward situations that aren't ideal.

Speaker 1 (11:39):
Can you not afford ubers?

Speaker 4 (11:41):
No? I can.

Speaker 1 (11:41):
Yeah, I mean it's the definitely.

Speaker 4 (11:43):
But I'm saying back in the day, like girls starting
in comedy.

Speaker 1 (11:46):
It's unsafe. It is unsafe. It is unsafe. I never drew.

Speaker 3 (11:50):
I bet we didn't even have ubers when I started.
I just drove myself everywhere.

Speaker 4 (11:54):
So I'm from New York City, so I don't even
have a license. I couldn't have made it in comedy
ten years ago because I don't have a like I
would have like walked on the highway to my gigs.

Speaker 3 (12:03):
Oh yeah, well can't you take the train or the subway?
Oh gosh, yeah, that's difficult.

Speaker 4 (12:08):
A lot of admin planning.

Speaker 1 (12:09):
Oh listen, all I do is admin all day long.
That's what I do. In my hotel that I stay
in New York.

Speaker 3 (12:14):
They have a club lounge and I always tell my
assistant from five to seven, which is happy hour, I'm like,
I have to go upstairs into admin.

Speaker 4 (12:19):
No, the amount of planes and hotels and you mess
up one thing, it's your name on the bill.

Speaker 1 (12:24):
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.

Speaker 4 (12:27):
So it's a miracle. We made it here today.

Speaker 3 (12:28):
It is a miracle, thank God, especially with her small miracles.

Speaker 1 (12:32):
Once. Yeah, my JANKI need that. I'm rapping right now.

Speaker 3 (12:34):
It looks like I'm masturbating under the table, but I'm
just soothing myself.

Speaker 1 (12:37):
I'm self soothing.

Speaker 4 (12:38):
But I want to stay with this. I love that
with this older man. He loves skiing and I'm an athlete.
But I never skied before.

Speaker 1 (12:45):
You never skied.

Speaker 4 (12:46):
I never. I wasn't allowed to gouse a tennis.

Speaker 1 (12:49):
Oh.

Speaker 4 (12:49):
My parents would be like, God forbid you get injured.
You can't whatever it is.

Speaker 3 (12:53):
I'm Renee Stubs you mentioned when they came in. Okay,
let's talk about Renee Stubs because she's a friend of mine.
Is she a friend of your? She makes her way
around Manhattan in a way I've never seen. I have
had more people come out to me going, I know
you're friends with dinner Rene Stubs. I'm like, what is
Renee Stubs walking around with a fucking sign that says
I'm friends with Chelsea?

Speaker 4 (13:10):
Remember, Renee Stubbs is part of I call it the
power lesbian community of Nity. Yes, and I'm trying to
rub shoulders with that. I think the lesbians, I think
they push the door down for the straits because they
don't give a fuck what most what men think, right,
and they just do it. So I was talking to
her on her tennis show. She's like, all comedian, I know,
Chelsea Handler and I was like, oh yeah, I've heard
of her as a comic and I messaged it this morning.

(13:30):
I was like any advice, and she's like, you know,
in her Australian accent over text, just be yourself, you know,
treat her like your sister. And I was like, okay,
I don't know what that means thank you.

Speaker 1 (13:39):
I don't know what that means. I'm seeing that.

Speaker 3 (13:42):
I'm seeing Renee that big lesbian tomorrow night for dinner.

Speaker 4 (13:45):
There's drama in the lesbian world time.

Speaker 3 (13:47):
Oh no, no, there's listen. The lesbians are taking me.
They are trying to capture me in TikTok?

Speaker 4 (13:52):
Are you on it now?

Speaker 1 (13:53):
What's going on? Lesbian TikTok?

Speaker 4 (13:54):
Sorts of drama?

Speaker 3 (13:55):
I can't go online right now, it's too upsetting. I
can't look at social media right now.

Speaker 4 (13:59):
I know I'm pretending the lesbian dramas like your world episthetic.
That's the only thing that's going on, right. You have
to distract yourself.

Speaker 3 (14:06):
So you how long into dating your husband did you
realize that you were going to marry him?

Speaker 1 (14:10):
You were like, I'm in love with you.

Speaker 4 (14:12):
Good question.

Speaker 1 (14:13):
Do you think he would have married him had it
not been for COVID?

Speaker 4 (14:15):
Great question? All valid questions, Yeah questions. He should be
asking the questions. And now I'm regretting not thinking about No.
I my parents got engaged in four months, so I
had this like fake love story in my head that
like that's how it's going to be, Like if I
was with a guy for a year. I'm like, this
isn't magical. He's not the one, right, So during honestly
early on he kind of was like, yeah, I want

(14:36):
to marry you. I think he was and a first
time my classic. He's a comedian, so I was like, oh,
it's probably a comedian.

Speaker 1 (14:42):
Narcissist and I'd be irish.

Speaker 4 (14:44):
Or he grew up in Queens and then he lived
in Ireland since he was fourteen. Okay, so he became
a big comedian in Ireland. Oh but now he's back
because of COVID. And it was kind of this, like,
we'll see I've never dated an older guy, could be
like a creepy uncle, Like you never know.

Speaker 1 (14:59):
Uncle Gary. That's every creepy uncle is Gary.

Speaker 4 (15:04):
Yeah, you change it to Gary even if it's not.

Speaker 3 (15:05):
Gary's not a hot name. I named a dog Gary
and I had to return him.

Speaker 4 (15:10):
So yeah, we hit it off and I got engaged
in six months, but it was COVID time, so I
say it's dog years e time seven. And to be
perfectly blunt, you know, he was at a time in
his life where like he wasn't touring anymore, but now
like he just enables me. He literally said, like, I
want to chill. I don't care about the fame or
the money, like I'm tired. I just you can go work.

(15:32):
And I was like that's a dream. Well yeah, like yeah,
it's better than sex. Tell me that every night.

Speaker 1 (15:37):
And do you guys have a lot of sex?

Speaker 4 (15:39):
We do? That's good because I think we're not we're
not roommates. We don't see each other that all.

Speaker 3 (15:44):
I think that's the key ingredient for all relationships is
you can't see each other.

Speaker 1 (15:48):
I have to.

Speaker 3 (15:48):
I just had to inject myself in my thigh this
morning with something that is going to help with my
sex drive because I have no desire to fuck anyone.

Speaker 1 (15:56):
And I've been keeping going.

Speaker 3 (15:57):
I keep going on these kind of quasi dates or
like going out with guys trying to drum up some
business and then I'm like looking at them, going I
just want to be in my bed, like I don't
even want to fuck you, and.

Speaker 1 (16:07):
I'm like something's wrong with me.

Speaker 3 (16:08):
And I can't take testosterone because my hair thinned the
last time I took that. And it's not like I'm
gonna be bald and horny, you know what I mean, Like,
what's the point of that, I can go about ladder.

Speaker 4 (16:17):
So I was like, forget me.

Speaker 3 (16:19):
So I went to my yeah and get back me.
So I went to my anti aging doctor and I
was like, listen, you got to give me something for
sex drive because I don't think I have it. I'm like,
I've tried to have sex like three times.

Speaker 4 (16:28):
Because you were really horny when you were younger.

Speaker 3 (16:30):
Well, no, not horny, but like I could get excited.

Speaker 1 (16:33):
I'm not.

Speaker 3 (16:33):
I've never been boy crazy. That's not my personality. But
I do love that about you. But also it's like, wait,
why do we have so much pressure? Like you know,
if I go a few months without having sex, I'm like,
oh shit, I better have sex. And it's like why
why do I need to have sex? But apparently I
think I do. So anyway, I injected myself this morning
with some thiga emocin or I don't know what the
fuck it's called, and we'll see if that drums up

(16:54):
any sexual feelings for me, because.

Speaker 4 (16:56):
Well, people don't talk about how sex is oftentimes a
bad experience, especial when it's like a new guy or something.
It's weird, and I'm like, I my night would have
been better without it. I think it's for us. And
I always said I didn't want to be with a
comic because I've moved with a comic before and it
wasn't great. But with him, I was. We really like
he I respect him mentally, which is crazy to think,

(17:19):
but like it's like you need to find someone that
their love language is laughter with you and you feel
excited about like riffing with them, and that's like your foreplay.
That's the hotness. Like we talk on the phone a lot,
that's like our thing. Yeah, it's not like, oh I
need a fuck you now, it's like right talking, we
just talk. We don't we don't shut up.

Speaker 1 (17:37):
And does he work now at all?

Speaker 4 (17:39):
He's working. He's still doing comedy and stuff. We have
podcasts together burner phone.

Speaker 1 (17:42):
Oh that's together with you.

Speaker 4 (17:43):
Yeah, so he's good. But I just I just want
him to like be confident enough to like let me
do my thing and support me. And he's he is.

Speaker 1 (17:50):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (17:50):
That's important because a lot of men come across as
like they are confident or they see are seemingly confident,
and then when it comes down to it, they're fucking paranoid.

Speaker 1 (17:57):
They're jealous. They're not confident.

Speaker 4 (18:00):
Yeah, and then you're like, I just want to love you,
and they're acting weird towards you, and then you realize
you have to baby them and be like, I'm so
proud of you.

Speaker 1 (18:06):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (18:06):
The distance is very important for any independent woman because
it is so annoying to have to spend every single
second with somebody. And I also don't appreciate having to
FaceTime with people on ohime when you're in a relationship,
because holding up the fucking phone while you're talking, it's like,
wait a second, this is like two exercise you're going to.
I could talk to you, but I need the lights

(18:27):
off and I want to be in bedlining down, you know,
with my AirPods in or whatever.

Speaker 1 (18:29):
I don't need to be looking at you.

Speaker 4 (18:31):
Also, I'm staring at myself the whole time.

Speaker 1 (18:33):
Exactly.

Speaker 4 (18:33):
I want to be able to scroll Instagram while.

Speaker 1 (18:35):
Talking, exactly Exactly.

Speaker 3 (18:37):
I had a friend once, not a boyfriend, this is
a friend friend, And anytime I would be on the phone,
reading an email or on social media or anything while
I was on the phone, he could be talking and
he'd go, what are you reading?

Speaker 4 (18:47):
And on my business?

Speaker 3 (18:48):
Why do you know that I'm reading something? Like, how
can you tell? He's like, I can tell by the
way you're breathing.

Speaker 4 (18:52):
Like your eyes are going left right, Like, well, that
would be.

Speaker 3 (18:55):
Really annoying if we were fucking face timing, because then
you fucking know for sure?

Speaker 4 (18:58):
Do you want to know something wild? He had an
apartment and the person, older woman passed away next door,
and I bought the apartment next door, so I have
my own apartment next to his.

Speaker 1 (19:07):
Oh god, that's solid.

Speaker 4 (19:09):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (19:10):
Where do you guys live in Brooklyn?

Speaker 4 (19:11):
We live in the Lower east Side.

Speaker 3 (19:13):
Okay, I'm thinking about moving to New York. I'm going
to look at a bunch of apartments tomorrow.

Speaker 4 (19:16):
And you're such a New Yorker.

Speaker 1 (19:17):
I know it's.

Speaker 3 (19:18):
Articulous that I've never lived here. I'm like almost I'm
forty eight years old, so I've never lived.

Speaker 1 (19:21):
In your city.

Speaker 3 (19:22):
Jewish, I know, with open arms, I know, I know,
I know. Well, you'd have to accept me because I'm
New Jersey. Yeah, I'm from New Jersey.

Speaker 4 (19:29):
But sorry, I mean to call you out.

Speaker 3 (19:31):
It's a tri state area, yes, yes, the Tri state area.

Speaker 4 (19:36):
As long as you're not from like upstate, you know.

Speaker 3 (19:38):
No, no, no, I'm not from upstate. Okay, what else
do you want to tell me about yourself?

Speaker 4 (19:42):
Oh? But I did want to talk about skiing with you, okay,
because that's our biggest issue. That's big.

Speaker 6 (19:46):
Oh.

Speaker 1 (19:46):
I like your little furry arms.

Speaker 4 (19:48):
You're cute, very sweaty. Right now, I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 (19:49):
Look how much I like your harry.

Speaker 4 (19:51):
I'm half Italian.

Speaker 1 (19:52):
Oh yeah, I can see it. It's cute.

Speaker 4 (19:54):
Are we flirting? No? Okay, so I think that I
want to like skiing.

Speaker 1 (20:00):
But what did you say? You had a ski accident?

Speaker 4 (20:02):
I had a ski accident because I really wanted to
be good at skiing, and it's it's a weird thing
because I'm competitive, but like, you just get to the
bond of the mountain. So I'm like bored and scared
and then I cry all the time. Why well, I'm
like new to it, so I'm like in a buchry,
I will always find find a bush. I'm crying, but
then I'll be like, oh no, it's really cold, I'm
not crying, which I think is like I want to

(20:23):
know why you love skiing because I I want to
get the bug because all he wants to do is ski,
but I can't. We can't change ourselves. For men. Why
do you love it?

Speaker 1 (20:32):
Because it's freeing, Like I love well, you are topless too.

Speaker 3 (20:35):
I do it, yeah, but not all the time. I
even love it when I'm wearing clothes. I love it
even more when I'm fucking naked, because there's just something
so freeing about skiing down.

Speaker 4 (20:43):
I'm not taking it's so good.

Speaker 7 (20:44):
I know.

Speaker 3 (20:44):
They're the best, my best feature. I can't believe I've did.
I just I'm like, oh my god. Anytime anyone sees
them for the first time, they're like, oh my god,
are those real. I'm like, yeah, they're real.

Speaker 4 (20:53):
Bounce up, and then they're like athletic tits too, like
I can do stuff with them.

Speaker 3 (20:57):
I'm not against plastic surgery because I'll do that, but
I wouldn't get fake boobs, you know what I mean.
If anything, I would prefer smaller boobs because I've had
my whole life, so I'm used to them, so they're
not that fun for me anymore. Yeah, but it feels
That's the other reason why I want to up my
sex drive, because it feels shmeful to waste this body.
My body is so smoking that it's like I feels
like I need to share it.

Speaker 4 (21:14):
You know, do you feel like the best part of
sex is like the foreplay before of like the teasing
like will we will we not? Then once you do it,
you're always just like okay.

Speaker 3 (21:22):
Yeah, well it's always good when you do it. Yeah,
But back to skiing, always a freedom. There's a freedom
in skiing down a mountain and being just like and
just ripping down a mountain, like.

Speaker 1 (21:33):
I love it.

Speaker 3 (21:34):
I love the sense of like strength, the strength of
like the sense of freedom. I love being outside in
that cold weather, Like it's very invigorating to me, that feeling.
It's not for everybody because a lot of people don't
like the cold.

Speaker 4 (21:47):
You definitely get out of your own head when you're
there because you have to be in the moment to focus.
What do you think about the douchey snowboarders though, like
they're like.

Speaker 1 (21:53):
Yeah, I mean, sleigh boarders aren't my favorite.

Speaker 3 (21:55):
The only time I've ever been hit was a has
been by a snowboarder, right, I almost no boarded into
me several times at my friends.

Speaker 4 (22:02):
The only boards I want is a Charcuteri board, Like
that's all I want.

Speaker 3 (22:05):
I don't even like charcouterie anymore. I've decided I'm over sharkcuterie.
I take, yeah, hot take is right, I'm Charcuterie feels
passe to me.

Speaker 4 (22:12):
Well, I've never finished one, and then I always feel
guilty because I had, Like.

Speaker 3 (22:15):
I'm back on the cheese, cheese and harmone because harmone
is what they have in Spain, and I spend a
lot of time in Spain, and I fucking love hormone.
But that's the only kind of like meat dish I
want at that. I'm over charcuterie.

Speaker 4 (22:27):
I do like the food associated with skiing, though, because
hot chocolate you could drink at any time, and no
one does.

Speaker 1 (22:33):
I drink margarita's.

Speaker 3 (22:34):
I go in for eleven o'clock margarita break at eleven am,
I go in for my first margarita. Then I go
back at one, and that actually gives me a more
sense of like. I even am more fearless once I
have a little alcohol in my system, you know, for skiing.
Because my ski buddies in Canada where I ski, are hardcore.

Speaker 1 (22:50):
They are not fucking around.

Speaker 3 (22:52):
They're doing black So that's why I have to get
knee surgery to get so I can ski and keep
up with my friends.

Speaker 4 (22:57):
I love how your ski season like everything revolves on.

Speaker 1 (23:00):
Your ski oh everything everything having.

Speaker 4 (23:02):
A like you have a legit hobby, and I feel
like so many people don't have hobbies and it's so
beautiful that you love anything as much as you love skiing.

Speaker 1 (23:09):
Well, thank you.

Speaker 3 (23:09):
I was dating the Sky a few years ago, right
before I went away to Whistler for like three months. Yes,
I go, now I'm going to Whistler and he's like, okay,
so how long are you to be there? And I
was like three months and he was like, am I
going to visit you there?

Speaker 1 (23:20):
And I was like, do you ski?

Speaker 4 (23:21):
Can you keep up?

Speaker 3 (23:22):
And he's like, well, I mean I haven't skied. I
was like, no, then you're not visiting me, Like it's over.

Speaker 4 (23:26):
I'm not babysitting you on This relationship is over. Now
we're not doing pizza skis together. That's not hot. It
gives you the egg A guy doing pizza skiing.

Speaker 3 (23:34):
No, So I just don't even like that's how committed
to skiing I am that even if I'm in the
throes of a romance, I'll will prefer to go and
leave that person to go skiing.

Speaker 4 (23:41):
I love that, but I was actually Whistler when.

Speaker 1 (23:43):
I got injured, but what was your injury?

Speaker 4 (23:46):
So I was on a green and it was called
like easy out.

Speaker 1 (23:48):
Or I know exactly what you're talking about, Yeah, easy out.

Speaker 4 (23:50):
And it was like early in the morning, so it
was very choppy, and I was a little cocky, like
does my husband would make me do three hour lessons,
get lunch, then show him what I learned. Like it
was very very intense, but I want to be like loved.
And my dad was my tennis coach, so it's like
some deep the everything, and I'm just like, I will
be great for this man. So I'm showing off. I'm
like I'm getting my you know, rhythm, and I hid

(24:12):
an edge and I fell onto my hand, like my
whole body fell on my hand, and then like my
hand kind of got crushed and I had to call
the the was it called Sheboygan.

Speaker 1 (24:23):
With the Sheboygan a place in Wisconsin, part of board.

Speaker 4 (24:30):
The Toboggan.

Speaker 1 (24:31):
It's the Pagan Tobogganaboygan.

Speaker 4 (24:35):
So New York. I have no idea anything outside New York.
The Toboggan came so dramatic because it's just.

Speaker 1 (24:41):
My pinky And so when you broke your pinky.

Speaker 4 (24:43):
I basically crushed like all my knuckles. It was bad,
and I'm getting frostbite because it's like our a and
I'm just lying there and there's a video of me
going down the sheboygan and it was so dramasaically.

Speaker 3 (24:58):
And how did your boyfriend react to that? He's sympathetic
to your injury.

Speaker 4 (25:02):
He was, but he thinks that I manifested it, which
I think I did because I didn't really want to
go skiing that day. You know, when you're just like
what if I just you know, yeah, yeah, yeah, chucked
myself down the mount because I was tired. I was
doing like tons of shows and I was like, I
don't want to go skiing this morning, and he's really good.

Speaker 1 (25:18):
Have you been skiing since then?

Speaker 4 (25:19):
So I have some shows coming up in like Denver
and Aspen and we're seeing he bought me the like pass,
so he's trying to get me back by compass. Yeah yeah, yeah,
so he's pressuring me.

Speaker 3 (25:31):
Yeah, I had a boyfriend once who didn't care. I
had a torn ACL from skiing. Again, this is years ago.
All I do is hurt myself. So I had a
torn acl years ago in Switzerland and Zermatt. I was
also on ecstasy when I went to that accident, so
I just want to be very honest about that, and
they manafact me. I'm too a helicopter off the mountain.
My friends were all like, you're a fucking loser. And

(25:53):
then I went to Rome and like Florence and some parts.

Speaker 4 (25:56):
Of Italy, on the half of your leg is like
hanging out, and.

Speaker 3 (25:58):
I'm just well, basically, I was like, iowa win to
get the surgery because I was already on vacation, and
I was like, oh, I'll just tape it every day
or wrap it, wrap it, and but my boyfriend just
had no regard for my health, like at all. Like
I'd get home every night, my knee would be like
the size of a water balloon and I'd have to
elevate it ice it for like three hours and he
was just like, all right, tomorrow we're going to the coliseum.

Speaker 1 (26:18):
I'm like, fuck off. And so that so it's very
important when people care about your well being.

Speaker 4 (26:23):
You learned about it well.

Speaker 3 (26:24):
I ly right hand, but I also look, so what
does that mean? So like, oh, because you're right it
so I.

Speaker 4 (26:31):
Couldn't jerk my husband. You know when you put your
in a ponytail. Yes, you knew how important that was.
I couldn't do it, and he was trying to do it,
and I'm like, that's the ugly ponytail, babe. And then
I couldn't text fast because I couldn't use my hand.
So that was a nightmare. Oh so do voice messages?
All my friends were annoyed at me.

Speaker 3 (26:49):
Yeah, I've never ever once recorded a voice message, but
I receive them. You know, they disappeared too, they vanish, sketchy.

Speaker 4 (26:55):
Why is that it's so unnecessary?

Speaker 1 (26:58):
Yeah, I know.

Speaker 3 (26:58):
It's like, what do you think I'm gonna do for
your message to someone else? Meanwhile, that's how I found
out advantaged because I was trying to.

Speaker 1 (27:03):
Do that very thing.

Speaker 3 (27:04):
Okay, we have to take a break and we'll be
right back, Catherine. We're taking a break.

Speaker 2 (27:08):
Amazing, and we're back. We're back.

Speaker 3 (27:15):
It's so fast, Okay, Catherine, what do we what's going
on today?

Speaker 1 (27:19):
Catherine? We've barely heard a peep out of here.

Speaker 5 (27:22):
So we've got a bunch of very fun questions for Hannah.
But I think let's start with a little wedding question,
a little a marriage question.

Speaker 1 (27:32):
It's like your wheel hill.

Speaker 5 (27:35):
Bianca says, Dear Chelsea, my best friend of thirteen years
is getting married. She's my sister and my lifelong soulmate.
I'm her maid of honor and will of course have
to give a speech at the wedding.

Speaker 2 (27:47):
The speech will most likely.

Speaker 5 (27:48):
Be during the ceremony, and I believe the best man
will go the funny route, so I want to keep
it classy, sentimental and sweet. However, I don't see the
spark with her fiance, and I'm feeling he's so uninspired.

Speaker 1 (28:01):
In writing this speech.

Speaker 4 (28:03):
Break up the wedding.

Speaker 5 (28:05):
She loves him dearly and they're building a life together,
and I trust her decision and choosing him as a
partner for her life. But sometimes I'm like, really, this guy,
nothing is wrong with him necessarily other than having the
personality of a rock.

Speaker 2 (28:18):
How do I find inspiration?

Speaker 5 (28:20):
Sincerely, Bianca, I think that's your speech right there.

Speaker 3 (28:25):
Well, I would focus your speech on your friend and
just make it about all of the incredible things you
can say about her and how lucky he is to
be marrying her, and you don't have to vouch for
him necessarily or talk about their connection obviously at the end,
you want to say, like, I'm so glad that you
found someone who appreciates all these things, you know, to

(28:46):
really drive it home, but you not getting the spark
between them is really not important information for your speech. Yeah,
you have to be a good friend right now, and
she loves him and she's getting married and he's not
an asshole or abusive or anything like that that you've mentioned,
So there's no reason to take a stand other than
just try to make a great speech about what an
incredible person she is and list just some of your

(29:07):
favorite memories of her.

Speaker 4 (29:08):
That's good. I mean you don't have to put together
like a whole thesis statement essay. I like, I love
a quick speech. I'll have a three four minute solid
to the point. And also I don't know her personality,
but like you can be funny too, girl. Yeah, we
did speeches and my husband was like killing in his speech,
like last per minute.

Speaker 3 (29:24):
You guys were making speeches. That's funny.

Speaker 4 (29:28):
I think it's an Irish tradition.

Speaker 3 (29:29):
Oh that's funny. Well, good for him, since he's not
fucking Irish. I mean it's Irish tradition, I guess because.

Speaker 4 (29:36):
He's lived there the last like thirty years. So he's like,
this is what we do. And I was like, okay,
now I have to perform my own fucking wedding and
he's killing and then I'm realizing I have to follow him,
so I'm not listening to his speech. I'm going through
my notes in my set, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
So I slowed, like, slow it down after the best
man crushes, slow it down, you know, get the audience
calm again. Yeah, and I was like sweet, and then

(29:57):
I made a joke like I wish I met you earlier,
like when you were in your twenty but I would
have been in kindergarten. And then we got like a
little laplause break and I was like fuck you, I win,
and then I danced the night away. So don't be
afraid to be funny just because the best man's gonna
be funny. Yeah, like you can crush a two.

Speaker 1 (30:12):
Yeah, I agree with that too.

Speaker 5 (30:13):
I've been in this situation before too, where like one
of my best girlfriends, like she dated this really fun
guy and he was awesome. They traveled, they did all
this stuff, and then the guy she wound up marrying
was just like this very kind of boring guy playing vanilla,
and you know what they are now, like fifteen years later,
like so happy, three kids living in the suburbs, and

(30:34):
I'm like, who knew.

Speaker 2 (30:35):
She's like thrilled with her life.

Speaker 5 (30:37):
They're deeply in love even though he's like still very boring,
but that's what she wanted.

Speaker 1 (30:41):
So yeah, you know a lot of people want boring man.

Speaker 2 (30:44):
Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 5 (30:45):
I remember talking to my dad about this exact friend
and I'm like, you know this guy, he's just like
so vanilla, and my dad goes, you know what, a
lot of people love vanilla ice cream. It's not exciting,
it's not Rocky Road, but vanilla ice cream.

Speaker 2 (31:00):
I still have an Ali scream.

Speaker 1 (31:01):
What kind of wedding did you have?

Speaker 4 (31:03):
So we honestly, if I'm being open with people, Elope
like just alope. We had a beautiful We had a
beautiful wedding in West Hampton. It was great. We brought
the families together, but it adds up. It gets so expensive.
And also, as a comedian, like I always make everything
about me, so the day was I don't like wedding attention.
It's like happy birthday attention where you're like, oh, these

(31:25):
people are forced to like clap for me because it's
my birthday or my wedding day. I like to earn
people's affection, so it was very I didn't love that
attention on wedding day. But I think for someone who
like never makes things about themselves, the wedding day is
the most beautiful day.

Speaker 1 (31:38):
Yeah, really, last thing I would ever want for myself
a wedding.

Speaker 4 (31:43):
I was like. And also the whole like your dad
giving you away. I'm like, my dad's like.

Speaker 1 (31:48):
My dad's dead, so he's not giving me away.

Speaker 3 (31:53):
Shout out to shout out to my dad if you're
listening to this podcast.

Speaker 4 (31:58):
Actually both of does his parents our dead, which is
quite nice.

Speaker 2 (32:04):
With that, Let's go to grinder.

Speaker 5 (32:06):
Tyler lives in the South and he is in a
bit of a predicament. I just want to preface too,
So this is a bit of a two part question.
I would love for us to sort of answer the
question in the email a little bit, and then he's
going to join us and give us a little bit
of an update.

Speaker 2 (32:19):
So Tyler says, Dear.

Speaker 5 (32:22):
Chelsea, I find myself in a rather delicate situation and
I would greatly appreciate your insight and guidance The other night,
during a sleepless bout at three am, I found myself
mindlessly scrolling through Grinder. I have two different accounts, one
with my face that I used regularly and another anonymous
account for mere curiosity. To my surprise, I received a

(32:44):
message from a nearby anonymous profile expressing interest in the
late night encounter and including explicit photos. Curiosity got the
better of me and I asked this person for a
face picture, thinking they wouldn't comply since I don't share
face pictures on that account. However, they did send a
poo and to my astonishment, it turned out to be
my aunt's husband.

Speaker 2 (33:05):
Oh. I was taken aback, to say the least.

Speaker 5 (33:08):
Now, I find myself at a crossroads, unsure of how
to proceed. Should I inform my aunt about my discovery.
Should I confront her husband directly? I understand that staying
silent is an option, but it goes against my nature
and my personal values.

Speaker 2 (33:24):
My intention is to handle.

Speaker 5 (33:25):
The situation with care and thoughtfulness, taking into consideration my
aunt's feelings are family dynamics and the potential impact on
their relationship. I don't know whether they have a specific
open arrangement or an understanding within their marriage, and I
don't want to make assumptions or create unnecessary discomfort for
anyone involved. But I also don't want my aunt to
be in a position without informed consent if she's unaware

(33:48):
of his actions.

Speaker 2 (33:49):
Tyler, Hi, Tyler, Hi, Hi Tyler.

Speaker 3 (33:53):
By the way, this is Hannah Bernard Me yesterday, Hianna.

Speaker 6 (33:58):
So about a week after I read, my aunt went
on a two week vacation to Florida with her husband
and boyfriend. Yeah and yeah no, And so I was like, Okay,
I'm not going to rude their vacation, Like this is
not a time to like blow it up.

Speaker 8 (34:18):
So I decided to like hold off. Well, what do
you know.

Speaker 6 (34:21):
When they're in Florida, my aunt finds out on her
own about this. She found grinder on his phone, and
so my sister messages me and she's like, our aunt
found out about this. They're going to get a divorce,
and she wants you to block his number. I'm like me,
like what, okay, So of course I just played. I'm

(34:44):
like I was like, okay, well, I guess this is
kind of off of my chest now without me having
to do or say anything or implicate myself but now
there's no separation. I think they've kind of swept it
under the rug, and I feel still a little yucky
about it. And so I think my question now is, well,
do I share with her what I know? I mean,

(35:06):
I receive pictures.

Speaker 3 (35:08):
Yeah, I think you do. I think you do. That's
your aunt and your loyalty should be to your family.
And she should know because now they're not getting divorced.
Now they're staying together while he's grinding on other men
and like trying to hook up. I mean, it's shocking
and which if she's fine with it, then fine, but
he probably convinced her that it was like a one
time thing or blah blah blah, and I think you

(35:31):
should tell her the truth.

Speaker 1 (35:32):
Absolutely.

Speaker 4 (35:33):
Also, Yeah, I feel like it's the kind of thing
that after like four drinks at a family function, you're
gonna spill anyway, So you might as well do it
in like an organized, correct fashion, because I know myself
and I would it would be like on the tip
of my tongue all the time, and I'd drop it
at the worst point, and that would be real drama.

Speaker 8 (35:50):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (35:50):
So luckily we don't have that sort of family dynamic
where we're all been noodling together. But yeah, I just
you know, I hesitated because I'm like, well, do I
reopen this wound, maybe cashed it out?

Speaker 8 (36:03):
Does she know the depth of it? And do I
get involved?

Speaker 1 (36:08):
Yeah, I know it's probably.

Speaker 3 (36:09):
I mean, listen, I always err on the side of
telling people the truth, even if it's inconvenient and it's
hard to hear, like, I do it out of respect
for people, like I think people deserve to know the
full truth. And it actually seems like it's present. This
opportunity has presented itself to you in a way that
you should You should be telling the truth, you know,
like it came up and you can easily say liaseless.
And I know you guys, I heard from my sister

(36:30):
that you guys were separating and then you were getting divorced,
or if you had, did you spoken to your aunt
directly about it?

Speaker 4 (36:36):
Yet?

Speaker 1 (36:36):
I mean, has she mentioned that the divorce to you
or No.

Speaker 8 (36:39):
She's not mentioned anything to me.

Speaker 6 (36:41):
The only thing I've heard was from my sister and
then that was it.

Speaker 8 (36:45):
It's almost as if it never happened.

Speaker 5 (36:47):
Well, And can I also clarify, do any of them
know that you got these pictures from him because or
was it.

Speaker 2 (36:54):
Just like you know and they don't know?

Speaker 4 (36:55):
You know, they know now though they all listen to
Chelsea thank everyone.

Speaker 8 (36:59):
No they haven't.

Speaker 6 (37:02):
And I you know what, five years ago, I probably
would have been like, oh my god, guess what everyone?

Speaker 8 (37:09):
I have like learned empathy and learned.

Speaker 4 (37:14):
But if you were her, what would you want?

Speaker 8 (37:17):
That's a really great question.

Speaker 6 (37:19):
I feel like I would want someone to tell me,
and without knowing what she knows now or how much
she knows, I think I would still want it. But
it also I feel bad for her. It is an
uncomfortable situation, and I don't want to embarrass her. I
don't want to make her feel any worse about it.

Speaker 4 (37:40):
And yeah, maybe they're having fun threesomes now, like maybe
it's enhanced their relationship.

Speaker 6 (37:46):
Yeah, and that's what At first I was like, Well,
I don't know their situation. Maybe they're open and it's
totally cool. But then I'm like, that's not I live
in Kentucky. That's not probably what I know.

Speaker 3 (37:56):
Because if she was going to divorce him right away,
she obviously convinced that it wasn't a thing, or that
he didn't do it, or that it was a one
time thing. I think you should tell her. I think
you should just say listen, in light of everything that's happened.
I know you and I haven't spoken directly, but I
have to be honest with you because my loyalty is
to you. This happened. This happened a couple weeks before
you went on your vacation. I wrestled with telling you
or not, and then I heard you were getting a divorce,

(38:18):
and I figured, okay, that's there's no reason to tell you.
And I no judgment whatsoever if you know about it
and you're okay with it, but I wanted you to
know from me, this is what happened.

Speaker 4 (38:28):
Yeah, no judgment. I love you. He probably was like grinder.
I thought it was like a core appliance.

Speaker 1 (38:32):
App Yeah, I know.

Speaker 3 (38:34):
I mean, any woman can be convinced of anything when
they want to be, you know, like powerful.

Speaker 6 (38:40):
You know, and part of me too, like I get
I get the piece where you know, however old he is,
having those feelings or being gay or being bisexual is
just like out of the norm, I guess, or not
right for people of his age, and so I get

(39:01):
his perspective of like being trying to be secretive and
not share, and that part's wrong.

Speaker 8 (39:06):
The lying part is wrong.

Speaker 6 (39:07):
But I wanted to protect almost like the person, you know,
prevent outing him and creating a situation where he can't
be his authentic self.

Speaker 8 (39:16):
And that's work he has to do, I know.

Speaker 6 (39:18):
But I've also been on the side of where someone's
outing me or talking bad about me, or calling me names,
and so I'm trying to, you know, proceed with caution.
I guess, I just don't want anyone to be in
a situation, my aunt or him in terms of like
his sexuality, if that's what it is, if it was experimenting,

(39:41):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (39:42):
I get it. It's a sensitive issue.

Speaker 3 (39:43):
And listen, you're not outing him because she first of all,
now she already knows something's up. And I respect what
you're saying. You don't want to out somebody, but this
is a family member. The reason to do it is
to be honest with her, you know what I mean.
You don't want to keep a secret on behalf of
this guy when it's your aunt. You know, It's not

(40:04):
like you're outing someone into the world and saying, oh,
this person's a homosexual.

Speaker 1 (40:07):
You're saying to your aunt, this is what happened. This
is what I know.

Speaker 3 (40:10):
I don't know that he's a homosexual, but I mean
clearly he sent me pictures. This happened. Like, you deserve
to know this, and that's it. And if she doesn't,
you know, and if she's fine with it, then fine,
then great, then they can carry on. But I think
the truth is important.

Speaker 4 (40:26):
Yeah, it is hard to be the catalyst though, of drama,
like feeling like it's your fault. But like, what if
she ends up finding the love of her life after this,
and he ends up finding the love of his life
and they live more authentic lives and then you're the
savior and then you go to heaven.

Speaker 1 (40:41):
And then Hannah. Yeah, and then Hannah comes and makes
a speech at your wedding.

Speaker 8 (40:46):
Yeah, I've been thinking about heaven a lot lately.

Speaker 4 (40:47):
So that's like I changed the rules. Yeah, I agree,
I feel like heaven's kind of gay. But anyway, that's
another point.

Speaker 3 (40:59):
Yeah, I have does seem like it's definitely like there's
a lot of gay people there after everything they've after
everything they've gone through on Earth.

Speaker 4 (41:06):
I mean, aesthetic is like sparkly and like it looks Yeah.

Speaker 8 (41:16):
I agree.

Speaker 6 (41:17):
I think the right thing to do is to share
and and say, like you said, no judgment.

Speaker 8 (41:24):
I just want you to know the whole story and
do what you want.

Speaker 4 (41:30):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (41:31):
I think you know you have to prioritize like her
bodily autonomy and being able to make choices for herself.
Over you know, as Chelsea said, you're not outing him
to the world, but over like basically outing him is
like no, he is actively seeking hookups in person to
your aunt. But also like, I think maybe that conversation
is not like showing her what he sent you, but

(41:51):
like just maybe verbal and saying like, hey he did
send explicit photos, et cetera.

Speaker 4 (41:57):
Yeah he us posted.

Speaker 7 (42:00):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (42:00):
Yeah, definitely want to.

Speaker 3 (42:02):
I want to hear about this one after this is all,
after the dust settles.

Speaker 6 (42:06):
Yeah, I'll keep you updated. I will be very patient
with her because I know it's a lot.

Speaker 5 (42:14):
Yeah, Chelsea, do you think this is like a letter?
Do you think this is a phone call? In person?

Speaker 2 (42:18):
What do you think?

Speaker 1 (42:19):
Where does she live? And can you see her in person?

Speaker 8 (42:22):
I can? I can see her in person just about
any time.

Speaker 3 (42:25):
Yeah, I think you should do it in person. Not
a voice note, not a voice memo. No, definitely not,
definitely not, or you could just DM her on Instagram.

Speaker 8 (42:34):
That's intimate, just me.

Speaker 3 (42:39):
Both together and just resend the pictures that he sent
you on Grinder?

Speaker 1 (42:44):
Does this look familiar? Does this dick look familiar?

Speaker 3 (42:47):
And she's so he didn't know he was sending it
to you though, right, he didn't see your picture.

Speaker 1 (42:52):
He only oh, I see.

Speaker 4 (42:53):
No sloppy, very sloppy, sloppy behavior.

Speaker 8 (42:56):
Yeah, he has a lot to learn.

Speaker 3 (42:58):
But how can you hook up with someone on Grinder
without seeing their photo of their face?

Speaker 1 (43:01):
You just send dick pics back and forth and that's it.

Speaker 4 (43:04):
Not me.

Speaker 8 (43:05):
I have to have a face, like I want to
see teeth I see. But other people that.

Speaker 1 (43:10):
You said you don't send your face, right.

Speaker 6 (43:12):
I don't send my face on that. So I have
two grinders. One's just for me being nosy, that's just
a blank profile, and.

Speaker 4 (43:18):
The other I know it like a finta, like a finsta.

Speaker 1 (43:23):
Yeah, but what's the point of a fake grinder?

Speaker 6 (43:26):
Like for me, it's just like who's around? I don't
like actively really message well, just.

Speaker 4 (43:32):
To know who finds me out. If your aunt's husbands
are on it, that's that's a good enough reason.

Speaker 3 (43:37):
I wonder how many ants. I wonder how many of
your aunt's husbands are on it one? So for how
many ants do you have? Every ant is shaking right now.

Speaker 8 (43:47):
I will call in another episode and we'll go through
my whole family.

Speaker 4 (43:49):
If you want Kentuck, he's crazy.

Speaker 8 (43:54):
Oh my god.

Speaker 6 (43:55):
Grinder by the way, it's like the wild West, So
you don't know the half of what happens there.

Speaker 1 (44:02):
No, I don't.

Speaker 4 (44:02):
I'd a little bit of the sex of Grinder, like
a little bit of a stosterone.

Speaker 1 (44:07):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I do. It sounds like I do.
Maybe I can get it from your uncle.

Speaker 7 (44:12):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (44:12):
It's funny though, because I feel like a lesbian dating
app would not just be sending like laby ALIPs, No,
that would. It would be like poetry cat photos.

Speaker 8 (44:22):
Like nesting.

Speaker 6 (44:23):
I don't know if you've ever heard of the term nesting,
but when a bunch of gays get together, it's I mean,
it's it's fine and interesting.

Speaker 8 (44:29):
I'm not going to say I hate it.

Speaker 5 (44:30):
But I think Chelsea needs like a fake Grinder account
so she can explore.

Speaker 8 (44:35):
I think you should.

Speaker 1 (44:38):
That actually would amuse me. I think I'm not sure.
I don't really like dick pics, though.

Speaker 4 (44:42):
Out of context they're aggressive.

Speaker 3 (44:44):
I don't really like to see pictures of penises, you
know what I mean? Like I I would rather just yeah,
not to see that.

Speaker 4 (44:52):
She goes, I'd love it minus all the dicks. You're like,
that's not gonna.

Speaker 2 (44:55):
Work, It's not gonnas.

Speaker 5 (44:57):
Well, Tyler, a lot of I know what happens. I
know you've got a couple of tough conversations out of you.

Speaker 4 (45:04):
Yeah, I will.

Speaker 6 (45:05):
I'll keep you posted and I'm sure all will go
just as smoothly as we hope.

Speaker 1 (45:11):
Thank you, Tyler, Bye.

Speaker 8 (45:13):
Tyler, Tyler, thank you bye, good to see you.

Speaker 1 (45:15):
Bye.

Speaker 4 (45:17):
Oh I'm stressed.

Speaker 2 (45:18):
That real A lot of layers, A lot of layers.

Speaker 4 (45:22):
How cute. Well.

Speaker 5 (45:27):
Our next caller is Cecilia Dear Chelsea. I'm twenty five
years old, and I would say I'm a late bloomer
in the romantic realm. I've never had a boyfriend. I
went to a small high school where none of my
friends really dated. Then for college, I majored in theater,
so no straight men there. Then COVID hit my senior year.
And I also have a life full of loving friends

(45:48):
and family, so I think that's This has also caused
me to not seek a romantic partner. I moved to
a new city two years ago for a fabulous job
and haven't quite found a circle of friends that give
me the support I need. I started online dating about
a year ago, and after maybe half a dozen first dates,
I decided it wasn't for me. I have had two
other situationships, as the gen z would say, in recent months,

(46:10):
and they both happened similarly. Both were guys at work
who I had a foundation with of sorts, and they
pursued me. We'd go on fun dates and they were
obsessed with me, as they should be, and then once
I really liked them and tried to define the relationship,
they'd get all distant. It's frustrating that both of these
guys pursued me and then let things fizzle once I
had strong feelings for them. Needless to say, I need

(46:31):
to stop dating men in the workplace. But it's also
teaching me that being upfront with my feelings scares men away,
which feels like the wrong takeaway. My therapist said I
should let them initiate how they're feeling, but that feels
like a cop out. I feel like I have no
skills in dating or handling a breakup, and I feel
like I'm so late to the game. I don't even
know where to start.

Speaker 1 (46:50):
Cecilia, she's twenty five.

Speaker 3 (46:54):
Hi, Cecilia, by no, you're only twenty five years old.
You me mean light to the game. Some people don't
even have sex and so they're thirty.

Speaker 4 (47:06):
Okay, I mean, I guess that's fair.

Speaker 8 (47:08):
I guess.

Speaker 1 (47:08):
I don't know.

Speaker 7 (47:09):
It's something that I feel like I've done other parts
of my life that I'm like, Oh, let's delve into
finding a partner, especially like in the city I live in.
I feel like I don't have a base, so like
I feel like having a partner would be nice.

Speaker 1 (47:22):
What city do you live in?

Speaker 7 (47:23):
Orlando? Oh?

Speaker 1 (47:24):
Okay, m water Parks.

Speaker 4 (47:27):
I like to say, as an elder, your early twenties
is all. It's researching. It's not even dating. Call it researching.
You're figuring out what you like, which you don't like,
what makes you un comfy, because there's no you're not getting.
You're not trying to find a husband. You know, you're
just learning about yourself, and you don't really know that
much about yourself. In your early twenties either.

Speaker 3 (47:46):
Yeah, and you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself.
Why do you put so much pressure on yourself to
be in a relationship.

Speaker 7 (47:51):
I guess maybe like a part of me puts pressure
on myself, Like when I was writing in I was
putting pressure on myself, But like it's not like I'm
actively focusing on that all the time. I think just
a part of me like puts pressure on myself. But
I put pressure on myself career wise in like other
parts of my life for sure, But it's not like
every day I'm waking up like how do I solve
this problem? I'm single, Like I'm It's like not an

(48:12):
intense problem. It's just like I don't want to like
be dirty and be like, oh I forgot again to
ever pursue any one romantically. Like I just feel like
I have to make that a part of my life
if I ever want that.

Speaker 4 (48:24):
I mean, relationships are hard, and it could seem with
social media that like everyone's in a loving relationship, but
I think it's like the hardest thing. And you know
how when you make a friend it's so easy and quick.
That's kind of like what you're looking for in a
guy where it's like we're not forcing it. I mess
with you. There's not like oh I have to It's
not like homework, like I have to study to be
good at this. It's kind of like what we're talking
about is don't worry about the men. Worry about you,

(48:47):
and then you'll be doing something you love, like skiing
or something, and they'll find you. But you don't have
to force it or research or like try too hard.

Speaker 7 (48:56):
Yeah, I've picked up bouldering recently. That's been cool, but like,
I don't know. I guess I feel like I should
be actively trying at least a little bit.

Speaker 3 (49:05):
But I think an oversight that many of us make
is we are a miscalculation is like, don't underestimate the
value of your relationship with yourself when you are a
whole person and you really invest in getting to know yourself,
in being with yourself, in finding out what you do enjoy,
Like Okay, bouldering great, you like that, right, All of

(49:26):
those things are good, Like it's very natural. Not everybody
has boyfriends in their twenties, you know, Like I had
two boyfriends in my twenties and in the span in
a decade.

Speaker 1 (49:36):
I'm not a relationship person.

Speaker 3 (49:37):
I have relationships, and then I have to take long
breaks in between those relationships because they fucking wear.

Speaker 1 (49:42):
The shit out of me.

Speaker 3 (49:44):
And then in those times when I'm single are the
best times in my life. So like, honestly, like you
have to really build that relationship with yourself and get
to know who you are and what because sometimes in
our twenties, like there's a lot of us looking around
and not sometimes this is like a society. We're always
looking at what other people are doing. We're looking at
social media, we're looking at other people there in relationships.

Speaker 1 (50:05):
I should do that, I should do that? Why who?
You know what I mean?

Speaker 3 (50:08):
Like, it's you can make an effort, and you know
you can make an effort. You're going to meet people
naturally in your life, as you go through your job,
as you go through your social stuff and your hobbies,
you are naturally going to meet people. If you want
to put an effort in beyond that, then absolutely then
you do kind of have to do that dating thing
or you have to put yourself in situations where you're.

Speaker 1 (50:29):
Going to constantly be meeting new people.

Speaker 3 (50:31):
And there are other ways to do that without dating sites,
and you can join you know, like a bouldering club,
or you can join a tennis club, or you can
join a pickleball club or whatever the fuck you're into,
you know, and you can meet people that way and
use that as like, Okay, at least I'm putting actively
putting myself out there. But I have to tell you
when I actively put myself out there is when it

(50:52):
yields the least results. That is, so I meet people
when I'm not looking. That's always what has happened to me.
And I don't consider any of my relationships unsuccessful because
they didn't work out. They were just parts of the
things that built me up into who I am today
and makes me understand myself even more now.

Speaker 1 (51:08):
I know, like I have zero tolerance for any bullshit.

Speaker 3 (51:11):
I have to be completely attracted or into someone to
give you the time of day, Like you know, I
just don't have that kind of like young attitude about
it anymore because my time to with myself is so valuable.

Speaker 1 (51:23):
Anthropocy or that was a word of the day. It
was called the.

Speaker 3 (51:27):
Pleasure of being alone, the pleasure of enjoying your solitude anthropony. Anthropony,
I think is what it was. Anyway, I was like Oh,
that's how I feel like. I love I love my
alone time, So listen, it doesn't really I'm we're not
giving you like a concrete answer here, but I would
say just lay off of it for a little bit,
don't even think about it for a couple months, and

(51:48):
revisit it so you can just kind of get refocused
and recalibrate on yourself and then come out and with
a fresher perspective. If you're done with the dating sites
for now, then give it a break and come back
to it in a couple of months or whatever you
feel like it. You know, I wouldn't put so much
pressure on yourself to meet somebody.

Speaker 4 (52:04):
Ooh, that was amazing. Take fucking notes. That was heavy.
But it also I feel like we're trying to say,
like we're kind of proud of you that you've invested
in yourself, because sometimes you'll only try to date people
and you're just like doing whatever they like, and yeah,
do some apps, throw yourself in some dates. But we're honest,
you're not missing that much. Early twenties guys are confused.
They don't even know how to finger you like you're confused.

(52:25):
You so like you're not missing anything crazy and by
the time you're like thirty and you're that bitch, then
you're gonna level up and meet someone at that level
with you. But that comes in investing in yourself.

Speaker 3 (52:36):
Yeah, yeah, then you really have something to offer somebody up.
When you really have put the work into yourself and
you are comfortable in your own skin and know who
you are, then you really are a catch. You know,
not to say you're not one now, but it's only
going to get better for you. So the more time
you can spend by yourself getting to realize who you are,
becoming a self actualized person, is going to yield much

(52:57):
better results and much better people that are complimentary to
you and that are that are well suited for you.
Because sometimes when we come from a place of like, oh, well,
I guess I should be doing this, you're not really
looking for the right things in a person.

Speaker 4 (53:12):
And if you get married one day, you have the
whole rest of your life that you're gonna be like, oh,
I missed when I was early twenties and I could
just hang out with the girls.

Speaker 5 (53:19):
Yeah yeah, and I would say too, like you moved
to this new city two years ago. You know you're
kind of established there, but you haven't developed that friend group.
And that's one of the best ways to like meet
a romantic interest is through friends. So if you're gonna
pour effort into anything, maybe pour your effort into like
building a base of friendships and dating to find a
group of friends.

Speaker 4 (53:40):
You know, And I love bouldering. That's cool. I mean
I've never done it, but I want it sounds fun.

Speaker 7 (53:45):
It's just easy to pick up if that's something you're
interested in.

Speaker 1 (53:48):
Like, what do you do? What is bouldering? Rock climbing?

Speaker 7 (53:51):
Yeah, but it's like rock climbing, but it's strategic, so
there's like different colors and like you're not like stropped
into anything. It's not that kind of rock climbing.

Speaker 4 (53:58):
It's only like ten like a spider monkey. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (54:03):
Sure, I'm going to google spider Monkey later.

Speaker 3 (54:07):
It sounds like some sort of semen applicant that's something
to do with semen.

Speaker 1 (54:12):
Was that helpful to you at all?

Speaker 8 (54:14):
Yeah?

Speaker 7 (54:14):
I guess I just kinda have spent the past couple
of years building on myself and working on myself and
not being invested in finding a romantic partner. So I
kind of thought maybe now that I like I'm so
established here in my career and my friends here are
like okay, but like my friends and family back home,
like I'm so secure in that that like I thought
this would be like a good time in my life
to kind.

Speaker 2 (54:34):
Of like branch out.

Speaker 7 (54:35):
But we're saying, like, no, keep focusing on like myself
and like kind.

Speaker 8 (54:39):
Of go from there.

Speaker 4 (54:40):
No.

Speaker 1 (54:40):
I mean, you can branch out. You can do both things.

Speaker 3 (54:42):
But I'm just saying in the interim time where like,
if you don't want to put the effort into the
dating sites, then don't then that you don't have to
do that. There's no limit or time frame where you
have to be with somebody. I understand the desire, but
nothing bad is going to come from you spending time
alone and get to know yourself even more. You know,
two years is great, So maybe it's another six months.

(55:04):
You'll know when you have like a real hankering, and
you'll definitely know when you meet someone and there's a
spark and that could happen.

Speaker 1 (55:10):
Also just a rando.

Speaker 4 (55:12):
Second, Yeah, it takes one person. Yeah, are you on
the apps now?

Speaker 1 (55:17):
So she's over them?

Speaker 4 (55:18):
Oh you're over.

Speaker 7 (55:20):
That's what I'm saying is I'm not really trying. So
that's like kind of where I'm at right now.

Speaker 4 (55:25):
We're kind of saying, don't feel bad about where you are.
It's great. And I would redownload apps so you like
doing your own thing and force yourself to go on
like a date every couple of weeks and see what happens.

Speaker 7 (55:35):
So I don't really go on the apps because I like,
I've done that before and I've never had a dating
app where I've been like that was so fun, even
though we didn't have a connection.

Speaker 4 (55:42):
That was great. So like.

Speaker 7 (55:46):
Go to the movies by myself, like take myself out
to dinner, Like I'd rather do that than do that
with somebody.

Speaker 5 (55:51):
Also, like let the friends that you do have know, like, hey,
do you know anybody put it out there that you're
interested in meeting someone, and like people will start, things
will purkle, people will start thinking about who they know
and who they might hook you up with. Well, Cecilia,
keep us posted on what you do decide to do.
If you decide to like work on friendships, if you

(56:11):
decide to try out the apps again, yeah for sure.

Speaker 3 (56:14):
And who knows, maybe we'll run into somebody on this
podcast and we can set you up with them. We
just have to find someone who lives in Orlando.

Speaker 7 (56:21):
Perfect, yes, Kiwi post.

Speaker 1 (56:23):
Have you heard of Ron DeSantis? Would you like to
quantitate with him?

Speaker 4 (56:26):
Oh?

Speaker 8 (56:27):
Else you? No?

Speaker 7 (56:28):
Please?

Speaker 4 (56:29):
Zudi?

Speaker 1 (56:31):
Too soon? All right, Cecilia, good.

Speaker 2 (56:34):
Luck, thank you, thank bye.

Speaker 1 (56:37):
We don't really help Cecilia.

Speaker 4 (56:38):
I know she's fine.

Speaker 1 (56:40):
Yeah, I mean she didn't but she didn't really want
to do anything about it.

Speaker 3 (56:44):
So it's like, I don't know, what are we supposed
to just bring someone out of thin air and place
her in his custody.

Speaker 5 (56:49):
Finding a friend group and like solidifying those relationships I
think is number one for her because she's been there
for two years. Like, she hasn't been there for two months.
It doesn't have friends, she's been there for two years.
Don't you feel like that's that's the next move?

Speaker 4 (57:01):
Making friends as an adult could be so hard.

Speaker 3 (57:03):
Though, But she did say she in her letter, she
said she didn't have a friend group.

Speaker 1 (57:06):
But then when we were talking, she said she had
some friends.

Speaker 3 (57:10):
Foam, okay, yeah, yeah yeah, Orlando.

Speaker 1 (57:13):
It just sounds so bleak.

Speaker 3 (57:15):
As soon as she said Orlando, it's like, well, the
first you have to leave Florida and then we can
talk about what's going to happen, you know, Orlando, Like, I.

Speaker 2 (57:25):
Know, it's tricky.

Speaker 4 (57:27):
That's why I said water Parks.

Speaker 1 (57:28):
I was trying to be positive, I know, but are
those positive?

Speaker 4 (57:31):
No?

Speaker 3 (57:31):
Everyone, what's that word that you guys just said?

Speaker 4 (57:35):
The monkey?

Speaker 3 (57:36):
Spider monkey? Sounds like you would find that out a
word once he comes.

Speaker 4 (57:39):
That's what it looks like my body.

Speaker 1 (57:42):
Oh No.

Speaker 3 (57:43):
Vanessa Gonzales who opens for me on my tour, and
she talks about men coming and it's it's so disenchanting.

Speaker 4 (57:50):
Yeah, it's always embarrassing.

Speaker 3 (57:52):
Like, yeah, faces when they come is embarrassing. You have
to look away or just shut your eyes.

Speaker 4 (57:59):
How do we get here?

Speaker 1 (58:00):
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (58:01):
Spider monkeys. Okay, we're going to take a quick break.

Speaker 1 (58:10):
We're back. We are, We're back with Hannah Burner.

Speaker 2 (58:13):
We're back. I do have a little quickie. This is
from Caitlin. Dear Chelsea.

Speaker 5 (58:19):
I think I seriously need my ass kicked, ladies, and
I've figured you'd be the best ones to do it.
I've been with my boyfriend for about fifteen months and
we're absolutely in love. He's amazing everything I've always wanted.

Speaker 2 (58:30):
I've waited a long time for him. She's fifty five.

Speaker 5 (58:33):
Oh, However, I find myself being hung up on the
fact that I make more money than him, like substantially more.
I've never been in this situation before, but I'm not
so sure how to handle what I'm feeling. When we
go out, he drives and pays, et cetera. But when
we take it to the next level and live together,
I fear there will be resentment on my part because
I'll surely be covering more of our living expenses. Chelsea,

(58:55):
I'm sure you've been in relationships with men that make
less money than you.

Speaker 2 (58:58):
How did you handle it? Please help me get over myself, Caitlin.

Speaker 3 (59:01):
First of all, men have been paying for us for
fucking years, So get over yourself, Caitlyn, who gives a
shit about money?

Speaker 1 (59:08):
Be happy that you're in a happy relationship.

Speaker 3 (59:10):
With somebody that you're attracted to then you want to fuck,
and that you want to live with Who cares about
who makes more money that?

Speaker 1 (59:16):
I don't care. I don't have any resentment.

Speaker 3 (59:18):
It's sometimes not hot if someone's broke, But as long
as someone can like pay their fair share of something,
and you make more money than you help out a
little bit more.

Speaker 1 (59:26):
That's what a relationship is.

Speaker 4 (59:28):
Which guys sometimes are the worst.

Speaker 1 (59:30):
Oh god, yeah, you don't want it. First of all.

Speaker 3 (59:32):
No, this is very sexist, you know, to think that
the protect I know I would never I hardly ever.

Speaker 1 (59:39):
I know I hardly ever defend men.

Speaker 3 (59:41):
But I have to say in defense of men in
this one, like, you have everything you want and you're
hung up on how much money you make.

Speaker 1 (59:47):
What if every man who supported every.

Speaker 3 (59:49):
Woman said that that's just silly, that's silliness, and that's
old thinking.

Speaker 1 (59:53):
And you've been shaped by your society.

Speaker 4 (59:55):
And if he I'd rather be with a guy who
loves his job and loves life. It makes me feel
good about myself than a guy who's what you want him,
a stockbroker that's like gone all the time.

Speaker 3 (01:00:06):
My friend sits on the couch, she doesn't even want
to work anymore, and she loves him.

Speaker 1 (01:00:09):
She married him.

Speaker 4 (01:00:11):
Because I want to create a good life for us.
And if that involves like me living my dream and
me making money, yeah, we're all happy. You don't need
finances from him, that's where you work, and he can
never control you with finances.

Speaker 3 (01:00:22):
Yeah, exactly, Thank your lucky stars, Thank you You're welcome.

Speaker 1 (01:00:26):
Problem solved, Good night, kicked your ass, Hannah. This was
a delight, your Adela.

Speaker 4 (01:00:31):
This was so much fun.

Speaker 3 (01:00:32):
You guys want to go see Hannah on tour, you
can go to her website Hannah Burner dot com.

Speaker 1 (01:00:37):
She's touring all over the country. Is that correct?

Speaker 3 (01:00:39):
Yeah, and you can listen to her podcast, burn her
phone and Giggly Squad.

Speaker 1 (01:00:43):
Thank you, Hannah Burner, Thank you, Chelsea Hm, thank you
for being here.

Speaker 2 (01:00:47):
Okay, Chelsea, do you have some new dates for us?

Speaker 6 (01:00:51):
Oh?

Speaker 4 (01:00:51):
You know, I do?

Speaker 3 (01:00:52):
You know?

Speaker 4 (01:00:53):
I do?

Speaker 1 (01:00:53):
I have a lot of We added lots.

Speaker 3 (01:00:56):
Of Canadian cities, Canadians, I'm coming.

Speaker 1 (01:01:00):
We added about fifteen new tour dates.

Speaker 3 (01:01:05):
I'm coming to Denver again, Salt Lake City, Vancouver, Richmond, Virginia,
Santa Rosa, California, Gary and Diana, Baltimore, Rowna, New York
and about seven dates in Canada. So go to Chelsea
Handler dot com. I am performing everywhere. I will be
on tour all for the rest of the year and

(01:01:26):
through December, and then next year I'm going to be
touring all year.

Speaker 1 (01:01:30):
So come and get it, you guys. It's good times and.

Speaker 3 (01:01:33):
It's a very much needed reprieve from all the fucking
madness that's going on in this world.

Speaker 1 (01:01:39):
So I'm here to bring joy and sunshine.

Speaker 2 (01:01:42):
Do you have a holiday themed question for Chelsea? Please
send us.

Speaker 5 (01:01:45):
All the questions that you need answered about crazy family
get togethers, arguing over which cranberry sauce recipe to us,
and all your holiday drama. Just send your questions to
Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com.

Speaker 2 (01:01:59):
Dear Chelsea is

Speaker 5 (01:02:00):
Edited and engineered by Brad Dickard executive producer Katherine Law
and be sure to check out our merch at Chelseahandler
dot com

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