Christian by Lies w/ Caleb Hearon

This week Sydnee and Marie bring Caleb Hearon, whose MESS is moms on social media, and their hilarious antics. 

 

Don’t forget to write in your messy stories at [e-mail], or call in at [phone] to have your MESSages read live on air! 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Oh you're listening the mess.

Speaker 2 (00:04):
We have such a star on the building. We just
got to start up top with him up top.

Speaker 3 (00:08):
Everybody your hand, clap your hands for her. Amazing.

Speaker 2 (00:12):
Caleb Parny, one of the stars of the movie Sweethearts
on Netflix. Yes, welcome to mess man. This is it's
gonna be a wild ride.

Speaker 3 (00:24):
I hope you're in for Marie.

Speaker 2 (00:27):
I'll probably go first with my mess because it's always
something Apple Apple.

Speaker 3 (00:31):
I have a real beef. Apple is mess.

Speaker 2 (00:34):
I keep losing my air pods, so it's something wrong
with the pods.

Speaker 3 (00:39):
It's not me.

Speaker 2 (00:41):
Last year around this time lost my whole podhouse. I
had the pods, but the house was stolen the case,
but I'm calling the house the pot home. And then
this this year I was in an Uber the whole
house falls out with the pods. The call the Uber
driver he has the pods. He says, oh, yeah, yeah,

(01:01):
I'm gonna come back. I go downstairs. I wait, wait, wait,
wait wait. He never comes. Then an hour later, I
see my pods are a Newer new Jersey.

Speaker 3 (01:09):
I said, oh he had a drop off yeah airport. Yeah,
now who is going to Newer At At two pm
during the.

Speaker 2 (01:15):
Day, somebody would have flight. That's trying to save sixteen dollars.

Speaker 3 (01:18):
Yeah, not from Brooklyn. Yeah, people fly out of Newark
every day. I don't know why I pay.

Speaker 1 (01:27):
Three million dollars to fly not out of Newark? Right,
I would do anything to avoid it. Right the plane,
I'll fly the plane. Give me in there, I'll hand
out drinks to people. Girl, that's don't get me started
on what's happened with the airlines.

Speaker 3 (01:39):
Yeah, well it's not good.

Speaker 1 (01:40):
What's happening to mess no one? No one wants to
do customer service anymore. No one wants to do their job.
It's crazy.

Speaker 3 (01:46):
Well have you met customers? They trash?

Speaker 4 (01:48):
Not me.

Speaker 1 (01:48):
I'm a delight and i I'm I'm not getting a
lot of help from the people at the places.

Speaker 3 (01:52):
Now, how tall are you?

Speaker 5 (01:53):
Six to two?

Speaker 3 (01:54):
Okay, but you gotta you come up. You come in
with two energy okay?

Speaker 1 (01:57):
Six singles? Mills are and yours could be too, if
you just want to ask.

Speaker 3 (02:06):
Yeah, yeah, I just got an apartment.

Speaker 5 (02:09):
I'm in six three and a chunky as a shock
the eggs.

Speaker 3 (02:14):
Give me a call. How tall in a dock in.

Speaker 1 (02:16):
A doc so depends on the dock. I got some
new Doc Martins. Actually, and the other day Doc Martin
sent me some shoes. Thank you, Doc Martin. I knew
I was like Martin.

Speaker 5 (02:25):
Doc Martin keep sitting those shoes.

Speaker 1 (02:27):
Baby. They know because all my fans are lesbians, so
they know to give me the shoes.

Speaker 3 (02:31):
Well, I'm a lesbian, so I deserve Doc do send Doc.

Speaker 1 (02:34):
I've been saying, send you some shoes, but I was
trying to put them on and then the moots with
no zipp or anything. I'm pulled a muscle in my
arm because it was so hard. Well, they're not as cute,
but they're easier, I know, but I rather than be cute.
Yeah either, they're the straight on pull up and they're big.

Speaker 3 (02:51):
Look at this. I got these because the ribbons, the
laces are ribbons. They don't stay tied. You see it
above the orchid. Yeah, after the interior design, it's in there. Yeah,
and there's no zipper. Shout out Doc Martin's Yeah for real,
thank you for sending me these depths.

Speaker 5 (03:05):
Shout out.

Speaker 3 (03:06):
I need.

Speaker 1 (03:08):
You free.

Speaker 3 (03:09):
Yes, now that's beautiful. We gotta get to watch it
because I also want some platform Tims. What's my camera?
Timberland this will be you. Tim hit him up, Hey Timberland, Yes,
if you're looking for a mean girl on the go.

Speaker 1 (03:23):
Now, that's the real secret about both of you is
you guys are actually sweethearts.

Speaker 2 (03:27):
I don't right most of the time we were hard,
but people push you to the limits. I think that's
what it is. I think behind every person who used
to be nice is a whole bunch of people who
made them a terrible person. What's that quote like this
is it good girl gone bad? Once a good girl
gone bad, She's gone. I believe a poet named jay
Z said that.

Speaker 1 (03:48):
No, it's like behind every syne because of disappointed ideals.
And I have seen I see when your sweetness gets
turned on its head. I said. We went to meet
you and Lisa, Me and Lisa the other night over
the cake. Yes, y'all were arguing over the cave.

Speaker 3 (04:00):
Well because of Lisa. You know what a Lisa tragger.

Speaker 2 (04:03):
We love her down, but when she just wants to
say something, she'll say to you no matter how what
it sounds like.

Speaker 3 (04:08):
And then I'll be like, did you just hear what
you just said to me? I forgot, but I was like,
we was about to fight it was about across the table.

Speaker 1 (04:16):
I'm sitting with these two. They're having a full on
argument over the cake, and.

Speaker 5 (04:19):
I'm just watching.

Speaker 3 (04:20):
What was the cake fight?

Speaker 2 (04:21):
H can't I can't remember. But that's the thing is
is that I don't hold a grudge. Yeah, I'm fully like,
once it happens, I let it go.

Speaker 3 (04:29):
We did we go for? And then I moved on? Yeah? Yeah, yeah,
And it really does. It cracks me up to watch.
I like Lisa asking people questions, uh, inappropriately? Yeah. I
saw her do it last night and I clept Lisa
what she last night?

Speaker 1 (04:43):
What she did?

Speaker 3 (04:44):
I was with her. We were at New York Comedy
Club and Marcelo was there. He walks in. She goes,
can I ask you an inappropriate question? And I was like, my.

Speaker 2 (04:56):
Starphone down, scarf off? Yeah, I threw my AirPod across
the bar. Can I ask you an inappropriate question? She
was like, did you hook up with Sabrina? What's your face?

Speaker 1 (05:08):
It's the story is that he hoky.

Speaker 5 (05:11):
I was like, tell her that, and by the way,
you can cut this if you need to.

Speaker 1 (05:14):
What did he say?

Speaker 3 (05:15):
He said no, and I said you said no too fast? Yeah?
Why would he tell her? Runs?

Speaker 2 (05:20):
Her mouth for a living that the person you want
to tell. Oh my god, wait, but I wanted to
tell my next part of my mouth. My air pods
are gone, right then my friend lets me borrow hers.

Speaker 3 (05:34):
Then these break? No, yes, now I can't.

Speaker 2 (05:37):
I can't tell you if these are the like, if
she really got them from Apple, or if they you know,
from the bodega.

Speaker 3 (05:42):
But broken. Look at that you sat on them.

Speaker 5 (05:45):
You did that? No, literally, in my show me show
me those Yeah, these are not from Apple.

Speaker 3 (05:50):
Yeah, this is this is something else.

Speaker 5 (05:53):
I'm gonna tell you right now. These are not from Apple.

Speaker 1 (05:55):
Can we can we zoom in on? How not from Apple?

Speaker 5 (05:57):
These are?

Speaker 3 (05:58):
Wait, so they don't look like they're from Apple.

Speaker 5 (06:00):
Baby this this that's like skull candy.

Speaker 3 (06:04):
That's a discount from She got those from Dollar Tree.
I think you think okay, were Amazon. At least it's not.

Speaker 2 (06:09):
You know what, when it connects, it says beats X.
So maybe you're right, Maybe you.

Speaker 1 (06:14):
If those are beats on a unicorn, I'm telling you
right now.

Speaker 3 (06:18):
So that's my man. Well, now I don't have anything.

Speaker 2 (06:22):
Now I have to listen to the sounds of tragedy
in New York City and I'm going off the rails
right now.

Speaker 3 (06:28):
What tragedy you said?

Speaker 2 (06:28):
New York is a mecca for all those and the
truth comes out back. My memory is bad when something
like and the truth coming Give me my broken beats
beats X gift for you?

Speaker 5 (06:46):
Do you want me to get you a nice pir headphones.

Speaker 3 (06:48):
Is not the stuff for the house. It ain't the
speaker for the house.

Speaker 1 (06:52):
Okay, but I'm not mad at it.

Speaker 3 (06:54):
I wouldn't be mad.

Speaker 2 (06:55):
I actually need headphones in the house because I don't
want to listen to anything that's going on outside of
the bill.

Speaker 3 (07:00):
Sydney, that's so crazy because you never use headphones in
the streets. You know. You know what that's mess?

Speaker 2 (07:05):
Marie, Yo, you really you're supposed to be by my side,
you know what it is? I think I took a
little picture, a little tincture right now.

Speaker 3 (07:13):
Yeah, and it's coming off. It's coming off. What is
your mess for the week? Can we get into that?

Speaker 2 (07:18):
What is my mess for the Week't think about thinking
about everybody else's mess?

Speaker 3 (07:22):
Well, I think I have a lot of mess. I
don't know what I can and comfortably share. I don't know, girl,
it's hot share now, So let me do my d
MS later so I can tell you what it is
it's going on. Oh, I'm salivating, boy, oh man, the
boys is mine. I was talking a few weeks ago.

(07:46):
I unblocked two of my exes recently, right, and the
results are they are not there. What's in? What's what's
in with the results? Okay boom, So this is what's
going on. So I'm talking to both right, because separately
they don't give what I need them to give, but
together they give one happy, healthy man. Yes, both six ' three. Yes.

(08:09):
If he was wondering for the height.

Speaker 1 (08:10):
And I was, and I love it. And be careful,
by the way, because you're inching towards accidentally making a
case for Polly, and that's.

Speaker 3 (08:16):
Not she's leaning into that. I'm tired, tired, tired, I'm
so tired.

Speaker 2 (08:27):
All I know is that we came to the conclusion
that Marie is Polly now, and this is a this
is maybe I'm answering my Polly era.

Speaker 1 (08:33):
Well, I ended my feud with the buy community. Okay,
I'm done. I'm done feuding with the buy community.

Speaker 3 (08:38):
Why were with them?

Speaker 1 (08:39):
I've grown I love I wasn't I frankly never was
I love the by community. I love y'all keep it
up and so now, but now I've.

Speaker 3 (08:45):
Tuned my sights on the Polly he's throwing into me.
I'm not the parties. I'm trying to be a polypopy.
Oh ye, Polly is just like aren't you?

Speaker 5 (08:55):
Are you greedy? You're greedy?

Speaker 3 (08:57):
It's not greedy, it's greedy.

Speaker 2 (08:58):
I think if you date men, you have to be
Polly because one can't do all the things you need
them to do.

Speaker 5 (09:04):
One I'm gonna make one of them do it. I
can't do, Paul, I want to.

Speaker 3 (09:07):
Build a bear. I'm like a little bit of it
is a little bit of that. I guess I'm Frankenstein
and a man? What is Okay?

Speaker 1 (09:13):
Tell me this.

Speaker 5 (09:14):
You've got Guy one and guy too? What does Guy
one do?

Speaker 1 (09:17):
What can he not do?

Speaker 5 (09:18):
And same for the other one, like what is it?

Speaker 3 (09:20):
Is?

Speaker 1 (09:20):
One of them just bock you really good? And the
other one's like nice multiple okay.

Speaker 3 (09:23):
Now, Caleb, how you just taken over? Now? You the
host question? I mean I want to know is that
the truth? Basically? Okay, this is my problem essentially.

Speaker 1 (09:35):
This is my brother Paul, though, I'm like, why not
just be open? Because Open and Paul are different.

Speaker 3 (09:38):
Okay, so what's the different?

Speaker 2 (09:40):
Wait, let's explain, because what Holly is when you have
multiple relationships?

Speaker 3 (09:44):
Yes, Open is just like we're not we're not together.

Speaker 5 (09:46):
We have a relationship and I'm seeing other people.

Speaker 3 (09:48):
We're seeing other people.

Speaker 5 (09:49):
That beautiful. Open is beautiful.

Speaker 3 (09:51):
So what's Polly? Polly is a mental illness and sitting down.

Speaker 1 (09:57):
The corporations and the cigarette companies are frankly involve than implicated.

Speaker 3 (10:00):
I think.

Speaker 1 (10:01):
So I believe Polly to carry on multiple relationships is like,
why don't you get a job?

Speaker 3 (10:06):
Lot of job?

Speaker 5 (10:10):
Don't sponsors?

Speaker 3 (10:17):
Holly? You have a lot of time and you've got
to have a lot of money. Because how is you?

Speaker 2 (10:21):
How are you keeping up with all these people emotionally,
atually anything?

Speaker 1 (10:27):
Let me tell you something.

Speaker 3 (10:28):
Well, you're not probably yet.

Speaker 1 (10:29):
We're just you're dipping the toes.

Speaker 3 (10:31):
We're on the table, the table. I know a lot
of poll people, Okay, okay, what they look like.

Speaker 5 (10:36):
As a career. I don't want to.

Speaker 3 (10:37):
Talk to talk about what they want. They live in Bushwick.
I will say that.

Speaker 1 (10:43):
I will say that people live in I will say
they live in Bushwick, and they live in Portland, Oregon.
And the haircuts are whatever they're going to be. But
the point is, I know a lot of people and
you're saying they must have money. No they don't. No,
they don't.

Speaker 5 (10:54):
They're broke and they're.

Speaker 3 (10:55):
Still multiple we're doing. That might be the title. Well listen,
that's not episode. That's not what's happening here, you know what.
I know that.

Speaker 5 (11:04):
But I had a lesbian friend who went probably just
to split the rent.

Speaker 1 (11:06):
That was genius.

Speaker 3 (11:07):
But that's everybody in New York that doesn't have anything
to do with anybody's sexuality. That's just living in New York. Yeah,
it's people in New York that won't get divorced or
break up with somebody because they don't want they can't afford.

Speaker 1 (11:18):
To do that. Maybe, yeah, I'll be homeless before I
hang out with someone I don't want to be around.

Speaker 3 (11:22):
No, I feel like I need a home. You say
that on camera.

Speaker 5 (11:25):
I'll not to be mad well as a lessive No, No.

Speaker 2 (11:30):
As a lesbian that has been housed many times through relationships. Hey,
if the person you want to be with also has
an extra bedroom, I say go for it.

Speaker 1 (11:39):
Let me tell you, Well, here's what I'll tell you
the Caleb here and guarantee is if I'm around you,
trust that I want to be around you, because I'll
do anything to not be around people I don't want
to be.

Speaker 3 (11:46):
Around now that I would go to the ends of
the earth.

Speaker 2 (11:49):
And I think that's an issue with like people in
these open relationships. And also sometimes they just don't like
the people, but they only need a little bit of them.

Speaker 3 (11:57):
Yeah, okay, that's it's on the table. Like them both
a little bit.

Speaker 1 (12:09):
Yeah, you know both of them right now? Is that
what's going on?

Speaker 3 (12:12):
Oh? Well, this is the mess. This is why I
put this up right. So I have a dresser that
I'm trying to get rid of. Marie is insane.

Speaker 2 (12:19):
Person person number person number A wanted to pick it up,
but person number B or letter two whatever, same difference.

Speaker 3 (12:30):
He was like, Okay, I come get it today, but
B is gonna be at my house today. And I
almost said yes, so B could help A carry it
down the stage. She's insane.

Speaker 2 (12:40):
And I was like, sister, I don't want you to
get murdered for the way, because I am so inspired.

Speaker 3 (12:47):
You're inspired.

Speaker 1 (12:48):
That's beautiful. You know what I'll tell you something, do
not enable Announcedent was visiting from l A. I waited
a week to get furniture delivered until he was in
town so he could carry it in. He came over
to watch a football game. I said, this furniture is
arriving right when you're here for me. I actually I said,
do you mind? He was making fun of me. He said,

(13:09):
I said, do you mind helping me with it? And
then he just did it and he was like, where
was the help in that? And I was like, brother,
you said I held the door up. You're getting paid,
are you not?

Speaker 3 (13:18):
You said, where was the help? He said, you are
the help?

Speaker 5 (13:21):
Having two men? Yeah, I'm turned into an evil like cartoon.

Speaker 1 (13:24):
You having two men that you're sleeping with move your
furniture out for you is so beautiful. I'm inspired and moved.

Speaker 3 (13:29):
Well. I didn't say yes, I should have. You can
come a different day, but honestly, the day today would
be ideal. It would have been ideal. But Marie, you
the thing is, this is the thing about straight man.
They are unpredictable and one minute you think it until
one of them pull up, pop pop pa. I don't
I don't need that. I'm not absolutely not. So we

(13:49):
need to take to the script and make sure Tiddy,
which one of them would pop pap pop? Oh, you
already know which one it is. You already know. I'm
I'm not saying the nationality of that person, but they
are known.

Speaker 1 (14:04):
You've said a lot of lesbian things around me, but
this was one of the mers thing you've ever seen.

Speaker 5 (14:09):
Beful with men, they'll shoot you.

Speaker 3 (14:10):
It's like, okay, yeah, that's gonna say killed, but you
shoot me. Yeah, maybe it'll be a Donald Trump.

Speaker 5 (14:18):
No, like yeah, staged.

Speaker 3 (14:23):
Or stunt and that's you know that. I'm not a CEO.
Why first of all, why would they shoot me and
not shoot each other?

Speaker 2 (14:31):
CEO a mess? Because that's how straight men work. No, no, no, no, no,
they love me, they hate each other.

Speaker 3 (14:38):
One would die. Whoever lives wins. Girl, this rom com
that you got going on for two b I guess
I'll tune in. I guess this ty, I'll take it
the name of the movie. Facebook market place.

Speaker 5 (14:51):
Facebook Marketplace.

Speaker 1 (14:52):
I'm I'm so glad I'm not attracted to women, because
in any gender situation, both either of you would ruin
my life. And I can feel that what I can
feel I would be so I can see you why
these men are coming around. I would be so into you.
I could just feel you would have that power over me,
either one of you Marie.

Speaker 2 (15:07):
Because Marie is not available, like she's she's putting up
a little bit of a guard.

Speaker 3 (15:12):
I'm too too available, say d.

Speaker 2 (15:15):
Thirsty, like tranparent, like I'm telling everything, I'm doing whatever
it is.

Speaker 3 (15:20):
You're like, yeah, I know too much. That's not hot.
But Marie, she's gonna keep it mysterious. You don't. You
don't know if she she want to be with you
or she hates you. You don't know. Yeah, so is
it serving you?

Speaker 1 (15:31):
Though?

Speaker 3 (15:33):
Serving me? Is that serving you? Work? To watch your
mouth because you're you're giving hopes.

Speaker 5 (15:44):
No worries.

Speaker 1 (15:44):
I was just checking in, but I can absolutely the
answer is yes, Okay, you're you're happy with the situation.

Speaker 3 (15:50):
You like that. You guys, when it doesn't work, it's
not stopping me from doing anything else. I'm talking about
therapist about it, Lydia said, as long as you're still
out here living your best life and meeting people and great,
because these are two people that I could not make
it work with in the past, but I was dating
each of them separately together I'm like, I could do
this because what you're not doing this one will yes,

(16:11):
and what you're not saying this one will like.

Speaker 1 (16:14):
Yeah, I'd like to get in the room with Lydia.
I'd like to get you know me too.

Speaker 3 (16:20):
I want to be on the zoom. Dude.

Speaker 1 (16:24):
If you therapize my friends every once a month, everybody
who's a therapist to someone I love should they should
be required by law to have a session called Caleb's
coming in and I'm telling my side of stuff because
I'm tired of the miscommunication and the oh well, Rebecca said,
I want to talk to.

Speaker 3 (16:40):
Her now, who is your person? Who is your Lydia?
I don't have a therapist, Okay, and that's the prop strength.
You see that, this is strength, inner strength.

Speaker 1 (16:47):
Yeah, I don't need a therapist. What's Lydia going to
tell me about me?

Speaker 3 (16:50):
Yeah? You know what, you don't know until you talk
to Lydia. Lyda. If Lydia is like, yeah, tell both
your men up to pull up at the same time,
she didn't say that. I don't even know that, right,
You're going to hurt and you're thinking that. So it's like,
you know, I see Lydia every other week. You don't know.
That's what she'll know about this girl to new back

(17:12):
to back to back weeks. No, no, yeah, I'm delivered.

Speaker 2 (17:18):
You're just coming here because you want to. You don't
need to be right. Yeah, went on vacation for two weeks.

Speaker 3 (17:22):
I haven't even seen her.

Speaker 1 (17:23):
There's nothing scarier than a friend who was in therapy
long enough to learn the language, but not long enough
to do the work, because then they have the words
and they can justify what they're doing, and then I'm
in the mess. I don't want anything to.

Speaker 2 (17:33):
Do with it.

Speaker 3 (17:33):
That's when you're talking about that week that all straight
men learned the phrase gaslighting.

Speaker 1 (17:37):
Gaslighting was one of the worst things that happened to
the straight male community. They learned that word and they
went haywire.

Speaker 3 (17:42):
They lost their minds. Shes like, so what you're saying
is I'm a liar. It's like, man, get out of here.
We already knew you were a liar. They like textbook
gaslight and they'd be like, so you're saying that I'm
gaslighting you?

Speaker 1 (17:54):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm glad I'm out of my straight
guy's era.

Speaker 3 (17:59):
That was interesting thing in my early twenties, but I'm
done with that.

Speaker 1 (18:01):
I've moved on from them we deserve.

Speaker 5 (18:03):
Yeah, I'm out of there.

Speaker 3 (18:05):
It was fun, but you're better than that mess. No good, Well,
I'm not better than that good.

Speaker 5 (18:11):
Yeah, you're in it.

Speaker 3 (18:15):
I am collecting them like sandos. You hear me. I
next year you're gonna se me. You gonna be like,
who is this entourage that Marie is always with? Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday.

Speaker 1 (18:25):
Yeah, that's that.

Speaker 3 (18:27):
Listen longest nobody gets crazy or violent? I'm here what Yeah,
the man you're insane?

Speaker 1 (18:38):
One man who's done something bad. One man name, one
man who's done something bad.

Speaker 3 (18:43):
You can't, are you right? Absolutely? I'm driving back. I'm drying.
I'm like, did he like that? Crazy? He's a name? Okay, yeah,
name to men.

Speaker 2 (18:53):
On the shopping block right now is jay Z. But
j they Sidney top three worst men of all.

Speaker 1 (18:59):
You know what made me off though? What they put
out one allegation about jay Z. He put on that
suit and went to that premiere with his daughter.

Speaker 3 (19:05):
He said, not talking about me, he said, he said.

Speaker 5 (19:08):
He said, I'm with my family.

Speaker 2 (19:10):
That was quick, Please respect my privacy and difficult love, he.

Speaker 3 (19:14):
Said, Thoughts and prayers to your allegations. Baby.

Speaker 1 (19:16):
Him and Blake Lively's pr teams both are working over time.
They're working overtime right now.

Speaker 2 (19:21):
Every time I see that, I'm like this, Well, I
don't want to be a celebrity because this is just
it's too much.

Speaker 1 (19:26):
Should we catch a camera?

Speaker 3 (19:27):
Oh yeah, get her out of there? This one is
gonna below.

Speaker 5 (19:31):
I'd be careful.

Speaker 2 (19:50):
Now, Caleb, we brought you in here today to talk about,
you know, your topic of mess now, which what are you?

Speaker 3 (19:55):
What are we answering today?

Speaker 4 (19:58):
Okay?

Speaker 3 (19:58):
What is messy?

Speaker 1 (19:59):
It's hard to because there's a lot of things that
are messy, and you guys know me, I'm observant.

Speaker 5 (20:03):
I'm a fair guy.

Speaker 1 (20:04):
I call it like it is.

Speaker 2 (20:05):
You say fair, I'm a fair, lowercase fair, down the middle, lower.

Speaker 1 (20:09):
Capital, Okay, okay, worries, no worries, no worries. But I'm
looking at everything. I'm giving an honest evaluation of things.
And what I really decided to land on that's messy
is drumroll please. Mom's on social specifically Mom's on Facebook,

(20:30):
the one of the messiest. If you talk about a
site for messiness. Moms on social are doing some of
the most unhinged in every direction, unhinged in every single way,
starting drama sharing, political conspiracy theories that are based in
absolutely nothing, like truly, they'll get tricked by anything they
shouldn't be on social or there's another type of unhinged
that my mom has been doing lately on social.

Speaker 2 (20:52):
You said, moms on social you mean specifically your mom.
That's what you're puking there.

Speaker 3 (20:56):
Dreaming, babe.

Speaker 1 (20:58):
I'm keeping up with other moms on social as well,
because you know my mom loves me. Yes, my mom
loves my mom Magnet moms love this guy.

Speaker 3 (21:06):
Moms are like, make sure Caleb is going. Yeah, definitely, it's.

Speaker 1 (21:09):
Been a long time in the works. Moms love me.

Speaker 3 (21:12):
I can't. I can't.

Speaker 1 (21:13):
I can't find a mom that doesn't want to be
around me. They love me, so I know a lot
of them on social.

Speaker 3 (21:17):
She sounds like a challenge.

Speaker 1 (21:18):
Yeah, there's not a I'm telling all the listeners right now.

Speaker 5 (21:21):
Your mom would love me.

Speaker 3 (21:22):
Try me.

Speaker 1 (21:23):
Every mom loves me, There's no way around it. Conservative mom, mom.

Speaker 3 (21:26):
I'm got a little judging mom. I feel like my
mom's mom.

Speaker 1 (21:29):
She would invite me out with her after the first meeting.
I guarantee it.

Speaker 3 (21:34):
You might have to put this to the test. Friend Marie,
she pops off from the curtain.

Speaker 1 (21:40):
She would love me, but I'm so I'm keeping up
with them on social My mom is doing this thing
lately where she'll send me something like really like manipulatively sentimental.
Like she'll send me something and she's trying to be sweet,
but it'll be like a TikTok that's just text and
like a moving ocean in the background with music, has
twelve likes.

Speaker 5 (21:55):
I don't know how she found twelve likes.

Speaker 3 (21:58):
I don't know how she found it. She's mom on
Terney that's a mom ass posts Another mom posted that
got twelve likes your mom's.

Speaker 1 (22:04):
And then my mom saw and the text will be
like your children will never know how much your heart
breaks every moment that you're away from them. All you
can do is hope that they somehow understand.

Speaker 5 (22:15):
Nine am on a Tuesday.

Speaker 3 (22:16):
Now, I think that's the white mom equivalent to what
the black moms do on WhatsApp, which is send us
a Bible verse with like a glittery and you feel
like God doesn't need to be this good At at seven.

Speaker 1 (22:33):
A Yeah, who's doing the marketing for godsp Okay, well
I will.

Speaker 3 (22:42):
I will say the moms.

Speaker 2 (22:44):
You know, not too much on moms because it's they're
selfless and they gave us their whole bodies for these kids.
A lot of them don't like kids. People don't like them,
like their kids don't like them, people don't like them.
On planes with babies so like they.

Speaker 3 (22:58):
Go through a lot. So you're saying the moms, people
are like, they don't like moms.

Speaker 5 (23:02):
I don't on the plane.

Speaker 1 (23:04):
What I do not think moms are selfless?

Speaker 3 (23:06):
Well, I just I think that people forget that our
parents are just people who have kids. Like being a
mom or being a dad doesn't make you better or smarter.
Some of us have friends who have children and they're
pretty dumb.

Speaker 2 (23:20):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (23:21):
Them.

Speaker 3 (23:24):
We have so many friends that Marie is a wild
for that. That's all whoa hold on them. I didn't
say we have friends with kids individually. We all know
people with children. Yeah, they're literally every.

Speaker 5 (23:44):
My mom is selfless.

Speaker 1 (23:46):
Hold on, hold on, hold on, go ahead, I'm gonna.

Speaker 3 (23:48):
Put it in it. You were thinking of somebody specific
when I said it, and you try to I was
not thinking about anything. I know that moms do so much.

Speaker 2 (23:58):
Yes, sometimes, when you think about it, people have kids
for the wrong reasons. But at the end of the day,
what was the right reasons? The right reason is because
you're like, I want to extend human life. That's gonna
surpass me. And I want them to have their own
autonomy and live their own lives and my dreams have
nothing to do with them.

Speaker 3 (24:17):
Who says that when they have a baby. I think
people should be saying more. People said that. I hate that.
People were like, I didn't live my life. No, I'm
gonna live it through. Don't do it. Stop it. It hurts.
It hurts.

Speaker 2 (24:33):
We don't want to see it. You would see that
like this little kid playing the viola. That kid don't
give a fuck about the viola. But the mom is like, well,
you know.

Speaker 3 (24:41):
I broke my hand when I was twelve, and so
I was apo.

Speaker 2 (24:46):
I was supposed to be a championship and now right,
a couple of viola's in here tonight.

Speaker 1 (24:57):
There's one mom the city's like, she's not dumb, she
just couldn't play.

Speaker 3 (25:02):
All these moms just want their kids to play the vio.

Speaker 2 (25:04):
Yeah, yeah, it's just but that's what it is and
it's it's like, it's frustrating to see. And luckily, you know,
my mom had me and by accident, she wasn't really
thinking nothing else of like she was like, so she
wasn't pushing things on me so much besides Christianity, school
and working.

Speaker 3 (25:23):
And being you know, that's just the basics.

Speaker 1 (25:28):
How much of that took, by the way, because I
know I'm looking at a lesbian, but what about Christian?
Did you?

Speaker 5 (25:32):
Is Christian for you?

Speaker 3 (25:34):
Well? Yes, but.

Speaker 5 (25:37):
Because I'm just wondering how much of that.

Speaker 3 (25:40):
There she.

Speaker 1 (25:46):
Lost because I'm looking at a lesbian and I'm wondering
if I'm looking at a Christian.

Speaker 3 (25:49):
I am a Christian?

Speaker 1 (25:50):
Nice, Okay, she won one.

Speaker 3 (25:51):
I'm Christian by faith. It's crazy a good title. Christian
by yeah anything, Hey, hey, take it whatever you wanted
to make. That means you. I'm not I don't know

(26:11):
if I'm a practicing Christian. But my favorite you know
you're not a practice I don't know. You don't know.
You are Christian by life?

Speaker 2 (26:22):
No, Christian life also another great Christians. I know I
look on Christian No, I had an edible.

Speaker 1 (26:33):
We were doing eddies before this.

Speaker 3 (26:34):
I'm sober. You a little little dropper, not now, no,
not on camp.

Speaker 5 (26:40):
But I wish I knew before I came over here.

Speaker 3 (26:43):
I mean, the fact that you didn't be I a
weed is crazy.

Speaker 5 (26:45):
Christian in theory, some Christian theory.

Speaker 1 (26:47):
It's Christian for you Christian? Are you Christian?

Speaker 3 (26:51):
I was a rixed Christian.

Speaker 1 (26:52):
I'd love to see you both in heaven.

Speaker 3 (26:55):
You know what we love to see here? Ye also
a great Caleb you are over time?

Speaker 1 (27:03):
Do you know what's sick about me? This is really
sick about me. I'm not Christian necessarily. I don't know.
I'm vibing. I'm like there's some price something, but I'm
not really worried about it.

Speaker 3 (27:10):
I'm cool.

Speaker 2 (27:10):
I went to Sunday school and vacation. I had all
the fish sandwiches.

Speaker 4 (27:16):
Every Yeah, five hundred people with tourist.

Speaker 3 (27:24):
But what about.

Speaker 5 (27:30):
What's sick about me?

Speaker 1 (27:31):
This is it? Okay, I'm not a practicing Christian. The
metric is, but I really believe this. If I go
my okay, so well, okay, Christianity turns out to be
real right sure looking bad for me if that's the case. Yeah,
And then I get to the Pearly Gates and God's like,
you weren't Christian while you were down there, and I

(27:51):
really really wanted you to be my What's so fucked
up about me is I genuinely think if I get
that conversation, if I get that meeting with God, I
think I can ca mince him.

Speaker 3 (28:00):
I think you can too.

Speaker 1 (28:01):
I think you're very I know I wasn't Christian, but
I was doing good ship down there. I was having
a good time. I did not hurt anybody. I was
fucking around. I was doing my thing.

Speaker 3 (28:09):
You're gonna say, fucking around at the pearly gates.

Speaker 1 (28:11):
I think he's gonna respect it, Like he doesn't want
me to come in like sanitize and kissing ass like
I think he wants me to be real.

Speaker 3 (28:20):
Kiss as he wants me to be real gay for you.
So he probably, yeah, he doesn't.

Speaker 5 (28:24):
Want me to doing that kind of stuff. He wants
me to clean it up.

Speaker 2 (28:26):
But what people don't understand is that by the time
like when we you know, knock go on, would you know,
we you know, we don't have really want to, but
by the time we do pass I think there's been
different iterations of God and so God by the time
when we when we passed, he will have elevated and
when we die, we'll be up there and he'll do
like a little game show.

Speaker 3 (28:45):
So like we'll have to even though he's like on paper,
you're supposed to be in hell. But I'm gonna give you,
you know, one more Lordy, Lordy, give me one more chance. Lordy, lordy,
give me one more chance. Come along your chance. This
iteration of God is wearing our Jesus peace his dead son,

(29:05):
and he will be wearing Doc Martin with no zim
yours is.

Speaker 1 (29:10):
Not sounding Christian to me, Like we get there, it's
a game show.

Speaker 5 (29:14):
I'm like, well, when I was.

Speaker 3 (29:17):
When I was younger, my brother told me, and I
believed him, when you die, and you know, I don't
know how he would notice, but when you die, God
sits next to you and you watch like the movie
of your life, and every time you do something, he says,
well why did you do that?

Speaker 1 (29:34):
Classic Christian plastic Christian classic movie club with God? Idea?

Speaker 3 (29:38):
But imagine that's what happens when you die, because your
time is nothing for him.

Speaker 1 (29:42):
I could justify everything I've done.

Speaker 3 (29:44):
But from from when you were a little practice, every
one of them from when you were born to when
you die. He's like, okay, so have you ever stolen anything?

Speaker 1 (29:51):
I turn it back? Yes, and I would turn it
back on him. I would.

Speaker 5 (29:53):
I'm sitting with God, Okay.

Speaker 3 (29:55):
I have a reflection of you, Lord, you malee, and
you put me in Yes, and maybe the lamp. They
made me poor.

Speaker 5 (30:02):
You made me poor. First of all. I grew up
so poor.

Speaker 1 (30:04):
I'm like, yeah, I could just favything. I would say
with him, and you.

Speaker 5 (30:06):
Go, you go, why do you do that?

Speaker 1 (30:07):
And I'd be like, what would you have done?

Speaker 3 (30:09):
What would Jesus do?

Speaker 4 (30:10):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (30:10):
What would you Jesus? Because you were mad at people
all through elementary school? Yeah, what would Jesus do?

Speaker 1 (30:15):
Happen that contentious with him?

Speaker 3 (30:17):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (30:17):
If God asked me, why would you do that? Why
did you do that? In certain time? I was like, well,
from twenty three to thirty I was on cocaine.

Speaker 3 (30:24):
That's why I did it. Yeah. And you know what
they say, the higher you are, the closer to God,
right man. I was just trying to you, my Lord.
All God's people say, Amen, I think I could convince.
I don't really do. I think it's crazy. But I
also don't see myself dying. You don't see yourself dying. No,

(30:45):
Like I think about that as a contract is from
you are white. Now, now this is at first I
was white to think you might not die? Yes, why
did I be like wrong in my world going to jail.
I'm never gonna do that's wrong.

Speaker 1 (31:03):
You can come as this. Actually, since y'all brought up
my whiteness, where would y'all put me on the on
the So you got like the worst white person ever
got Hitler? Right?

Speaker 3 (31:13):
Oh, I was gonna say Christopher Columbus. Okay, Idea Columbus
is worse than I mean, he did dia. It was.

Speaker 1 (31:20):
It was, yeah, it was.

Speaker 2 (31:21):
It was neck and neck if anything. Okay, yeah, okay,
Well who is your white person? Yeah that's the worst,
the worst, the worst.

Speaker 3 (31:28):
Yeah, damn, that's the you know what, you gotta have
this at the tip of your I don't be thinking
about it.

Speaker 1 (31:33):
You have to think about it because a white person.

Speaker 3 (31:36):
It was my manager when I worked at.

Speaker 1 (31:43):
Hitler and meant like the best possible whites, right, gotta
be like Dolly Parton, who are some other good whites
like class like best into that scale white like really good.

Speaker 3 (31:56):
Jane Elliott I don't know who that is.

Speaker 1 (31:58):
Jane Elliott, the Blue Eyes Brown Eyes Experiment, you know
her that was white lady that was really really down.

Speaker 3 (32:03):
Is she gay? I mean, oh good, that's something like
that without having some type of game.

Speaker 1 (32:08):
Oh Jane, I had no idea she was family good white.

Speaker 3 (32:11):
Wasn't she at the stone work? Was she picked? I
don't think Jane Elliott's old ass.

Speaker 1 (32:18):
Was it Stonewall picked up the big she was doing
the blue I feel like I don't think she was
in the neighborhood.

Speaker 2 (32:26):
But my question is this, Okay, wait, hold on, I
think my good white is maybe Angelina Jolie.

Speaker 5 (32:32):
Really no, that's.

Speaker 3 (32:35):
Care about all the.

Speaker 2 (32:38):
She's a Philly and anthrorisk girl. Philip Yaharm, How do
you say it?

Speaker 3 (32:52):
Philanthropy, hilanthromist.

Speaker 1 (32:55):
You don't count philanthropists.

Speaker 2 (32:57):
I mean I feel like people do that because they
are like, hey, I've done a lot of bullshit and this.

Speaker 3 (33:02):
Is how I yeah, this is how I clear it right. Well,
I'm trying to, you know, I want to look good
on my movie with God. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (33:10):
So she's like, yes, I took Jennifer Anderson's man, there
you go. Now I gotta work for all of the
continent of Africa and Asia and Asia too.

Speaker 3 (33:19):
So yeah, but also I don't care about Jennifer. I
understand like that's not she did missus mister and missus Smith.
The chemistry was real probable. So I would also bang
Brad Pitt if I wasn't if I was inje.

Speaker 5 (33:31):
If you get the opportunity, many woes.

Speaker 2 (33:32):
Well not now I heard he don't really bathe every
day he wanted them. Really, that's another white thing, y'all. Me,
I'll hate water.

Speaker 1 (33:41):
Leave me out of it because I'm not one of them.

Speaker 3 (33:44):
Leave me out of it.

Speaker 5 (33:44):
Don't put me in it because I'm showering.

Speaker 3 (33:46):
Listen a scale from Ashton, Kutcher and Milacunis to Brad Pitt.
Where do you you know?

Speaker 1 (33:52):
I met Ashton, Kutcher and Melacunas this past summer. What
did they smell like a play in London? And I
don't remember the way they smelled, but we met after
the play and they I'm I'm gonna air y'all out
a little bit and just say that you have.

Speaker 3 (34:04):
Now.

Speaker 1 (34:06):
I haven't talked about this anywhere.

Speaker 3 (34:07):
To be a little segment airing it out exclusive.

Speaker 1 (34:09):
I'm airing it out a little bit. They smelled lovely.
They were perfectly nice, Mila and Ashton. But they they
were both sobbing at the play. And the play was
about it was a little bit about men's rights and.

Speaker 3 (34:26):
The camera leave them on, leave them on, leave them on,
and you can hear me what is men's rights?

Speaker 5 (34:32):
Well, men are being deeply mistreated.

Speaker 1 (34:33):
In this country.

Speaker 5 (34:40):
I don't feel that way.

Speaker 1 (34:40):
I don't.

Speaker 5 (34:41):
I don't care about men, but.

Speaker 1 (34:42):
In a loose way. I'm strong on him, but I'm
loose on I'll the rest of that. But I think
I'm not entering a d into the conversation. You know
what I mean, It'll him, It'll be no the play.
I'm talking about me now, okay?

Speaker 5 (34:57):
But hee him? What's going on with boys?

Speaker 3 (34:59):
Well?

Speaker 1 (34:59):
What is going on with our boys?

Speaker 3 (35:00):
What is going on?

Speaker 1 (35:01):
Well?

Speaker 5 (35:01):
James Corden was in a play in London.

Speaker 1 (35:04):
Then that's what made He played a veteran who had
his kids taken away because he went off on a
woman at a courthouse. Look, James James Cordon hell of
a theater actor. He did an incredible performance. Was the
writing of was the material and the men's rights angle
for me? No? But James is amazing in it and
Mela and Ashton were crying backstage.

Speaker 5 (35:23):
Is that beautiful?

Speaker 3 (35:24):
That makes me like them? Listen? Yeah, that was at
the point of that story.

Speaker 1 (35:28):
Well, I just wanted to say something.

Speaker 3 (35:33):
Out.

Speaker 1 (35:33):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (35:34):
I think it was one that you were in London
and you was at you was walked in a play.

Speaker 5 (35:39):
It's not to be in London.

Speaker 3 (35:42):
It's not.

Speaker 1 (35:43):
My fans there are beautiful.

Speaker 3 (35:44):
We love London.

Speaker 5 (35:45):
I love my fans.

Speaker 2 (35:47):
They do.

Speaker 1 (35:47):
We've all done well in London.

Speaker 3 (35:48):
Shout out to London.

Speaker 5 (35:49):
Yeah, shout out to London.

Speaker 3 (35:51):
Stop you tell them exactly? Yeah, yes, right. And when
we were in Marrakesh, we we went to Noble and
we finally hold on.

Speaker 1 (36:06):
I accused of flexing because I said, I went to
play in London America.

Speaker 2 (36:12):
America, when when you're a black woman, that is self care.

Speaker 3 (36:17):
That's not flexing. Part of the journey, thank you.

Speaker 1 (36:21):
I was coming from a bad place.

Speaker 3 (36:22):
All check yourself yourself.

Speaker 1 (36:24):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (36:25):
But Americas finally ran into uh, some you know, young
black men, and we sat down, we were kiki and
having a good time and I mentioned that I date
women and the guy who was from Manchester, he was like,
so you're by Paula and we were like, you mean

(36:46):
need him and me and and Mina were like, wells.

Speaker 1 (36:52):
You were like, yeah, the way you got to the
answer wasn't correct, but the answer was there was something
that we got your work.

Speaker 5 (37:00):
You guys are trying to avoid my question.

Speaker 3 (37:02):
What was the question?

Speaker 5 (37:03):
Well? And and isn't that telling? Okay, let's hold on,
y'all have a question and.

Speaker 3 (37:09):
We've named our worst y'all.

Speaker 1 (37:12):
But the point of that question, thank you so much,
my love, was where would y'all put me on a
scale of worst whites ever to best whites ever?

Speaker 3 (37:20):
Well, let me check my outven moos, if you ever
sent me all money? What do you need? No?

Speaker 2 (37:24):
Not that I need more time than you, Caleb, I
needed I need more time. I need you know me
for a while, I know I have, But ten years.

Speaker 3 (37:31):
That's how you really know somebody. Ten years, I think.

Speaker 2 (37:34):
I think between two and five people are showing you
what they want you to see them, But ten you're
going to see all through.

Speaker 3 (37:42):
You're going to see right through them.

Speaker 2 (37:43):
By the tenth year, they're exhausted from pretending to be,
you know, what you want them to be.

Speaker 3 (37:48):
By the tenth year, they are revealing the mask. So
this is the real you now? Yes, absolutely, Marie. We've
been we've been together for a lot, more like, we've
been very honest the entire Yes.

Speaker 1 (37:59):
Yeah, I just want to be clear about what's being
said to me right now by a very good friend
of mine.

Speaker 3 (38:05):
I just want to make sure I'm understanding you. What you.

Speaker 1 (38:08):
You think that there's at least a somewhat of a possibility, yes,
that in all the time that we've been dear friends,
now I am maybe putting on and lying and I
could come out that I'm actually bad.

Speaker 3 (38:18):
Here's a mess exclusive a person that I near it out.
I knew, you know.

Speaker 2 (38:24):
I thought like, oh I know this, and this is
what happens every time I'm cool with a straight man.
Every time I like, I'll be like, yeah, not them,
and then eight years, ten years, something comes up.

Speaker 3 (38:35):
It's like, oh, now they got an allegation or instance this.

Speaker 5 (38:37):
Can I tell you something about me?

Speaker 3 (38:38):
I can't stand by y'all every straight man you're cool
with not an allegation. No, no, no, no, I never
said that you need to change the certain.

Speaker 5 (38:47):
Yeah, can I tell you something about me?

Speaker 3 (38:50):
And I didn't say that.

Speaker 1 (38:52):
Now we're talking about me though, So I'm I have
what's okay, mess exclusive, I'm gonna air it out.

Speaker 3 (38:56):
It out.

Speaker 5 (38:57):
I am a homosexual man.

Speaker 3 (38:58):
Oh so you're we not even thinking about it? A
great men again?

Speaker 1 (39:04):
Oh but I thought you're about me because you said
you couldn't get me, you couldn't put me on the
spectrum because you haven't known me for long enough.

Speaker 3 (39:10):
Well, I just need some more time. I think I
got to come down to the Kansas City House.

Speaker 1 (39:14):
Okay, you need to.

Speaker 3 (39:17):
Get it, okay, okay, And what do you need to
see there? You know when you watch like any reality
show and they do the backstory of the person's like I.

Speaker 2 (39:26):
Just I've always wanted to be a singer. So you
know this is my teacher, from my music teacher from
I want to I need to meet you.

Speaker 1 (39:32):
Need to meet some of my teachers.

Speaker 3 (39:34):
So we need to do it like a star is born.
Okay I didn't I don't know you didn't watch them now, so.

Speaker 1 (39:39):
Y'all aren't gonna okay, we'll place me on the scale
once you so okay. So so I'm make sure I
want to know where how I can get there. I
need to take you to Kansas City.

Speaker 3 (39:45):
You got to be flut out, blown out.

Speaker 1 (39:48):
Yeah that listen, I'll get there, okay, Okay, I'll get there,
and then I'm happy to fly you out.

Speaker 3 (39:54):
Okay and stop going. You know, he got tons of points.

Speaker 1 (40:00):
I've done it. I've done it for less. I've done
it for people that meant less to me, and I
want to you mean to me, and then for you.
It's gonna have to be a decade. How long have
I known you now? Five or five years?

Speaker 3 (40:09):
Yes?

Speaker 1 (40:10):
Okay, so I got to put in about double of
the time.

Speaker 3 (40:12):
Yeah, I think you're I.

Speaker 2 (40:13):
Think you're doing great. You've almost reached your Yeah, okay,
you're there, buddy, for you cooled in five year?

Speaker 1 (40:24):
Yes?

Speaker 3 (40:24):
Okay, best best best? Would you say your best white?

Speaker 1 (40:27):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (40:28):
My best white? Who did my best white? I'm gonna
say Kelly Ripper? Why Kelly, Well, I know why you're
about the best story or or you know Jim Carrey.
Jim Carrey might be my really it is controversial, but
for me, for me, my best white, I'm gonna say that,

(40:49):
and everyone gets thrown.

Speaker 3 (40:50):
And everybody gets it, can it did? They don't have
to be the best for everyone, just for your individual
best white? Yea yeah, you're a ranking worst white. That's
the title of y Yeah.

Speaker 5 (41:02):
Different.

Speaker 2 (41:02):
Kelly Ripper came in from a gala. She had like
about seven friends with her. She's in a gown with
her husband. They're hanging getting drinks, taking care whatever. She
the bill wasn't even that high. She overtipped me, like
five six hundred dollars best.

Speaker 1 (41:19):
White for me, good white.

Speaker 3 (41:20):
Wow, that's a good dollars. That's all you need. You
too can be the best.

Speaker 1 (41:23):
Yeah, felt comfort plus for you, and then five hundred
dollars for you on morning.

Speaker 2 (41:33):
Another another best wife for me, Lizzie Grubman. She did
who hit all those people? And she said, y'all white trash?
And I said, say that.

Speaker 5 (41:42):
That you made this person off?

Speaker 3 (41:45):
No, I did not. She she's like a publicist that
like icon years ago. She hit a bunch of yes, no, no, no,
she hit a work Let me tell the rest of
the story. She hit your manager from refram. I imagine, yo.

Speaker 2 (42:01):
If she did, I would have married her. I would
be like, hey, girl, I know you know I gave,
but let's link up. I had a scholarship in college.
One semester I failed, so I lost my scholarship and
wonder Lizzy Grubman paid for me to go back to school.

Speaker 3 (42:18):
How did you know, Lizzie g I was interning for
her at at her PR company. Okay, yeah, this is
before after the accident. This is after the accident. Well,
she was like, let me just and you know what
that sounds like? That sounds like something Angelina. She paid
for all them kids, something Angelina Joee would do. Is
also a good title. I kind of like that. I

(42:39):
kind of what Angelina Joe. Yeah, and she let her
little black daughter go to Spelman where the black girls
should go. She's doing great.

Speaker 2 (42:48):
You know, she's not my best wife, Lizzy girl. She
didn't give you five hundred dollars. Okay, but Lizzie Grubman
paid for a whole semester. So that was, you know,
sixteen thoush sixteen.

Speaker 3 (42:59):
Well, what's going on with Lizzy now? Where she at?
I don't know.

Speaker 5 (43:01):
You're not saying the wheel.

Speaker 2 (43:05):
I think everybody should be allowed to hit a few
people in the Hamptons and still walk right because a
lot of.

Speaker 3 (43:10):
A lot of bad have a funny sentence because the
people they hit can't walk. You saw that, and you
see how we worked so hard here yeah, let's talk
about Facebook. But we forgot about that. But we're here.
We was really going in. Yeah, you took us there,
and we have to know.

Speaker 5 (43:31):
I just like to know that you guys brought up whiteness.
I'm interested in it, and I wanted to know where
I fall.

Speaker 3 (43:35):
I always that's funny.

Speaker 1 (43:37):
I'm interested in whiteness.

Speaker 3 (43:38):
And you see that you bought it right back, just
like a white man.

Speaker 1 (43:41):
Just like a white man.

Speaker 3 (43:42):
So you can't be the best. Somewhere, somewhere to the bottom.

Speaker 1 (43:47):
I'm in the Christopher Columbus here more than John Booth
somewhere did something cool but probably had some bad ideas
as well.

Speaker 2 (43:58):
Yeah, somewhere between John Booth and like Louis k Okay,
Louis just pulled his p out.

Speaker 3 (44:06):
He wasn't that bad, but then somebody pulled their dick out.
You won't look.

Speaker 1 (44:09):
Yeah, he's counting on it.

Speaker 3 (44:11):
No, No, like.

Speaker 2 (44:14):
Like somebody out on the train ones. Yeah, I'm looking
everywhere else. I'm acting like it's there. You know what
we've established, Sidney, You somebody pulled that.

Speaker 3 (44:23):
They got No, I'm finding everywhere else. I'm like Sydney,
that you are going live on that train you know
I don't have no service back.

Speaker 5 (44:33):
That's so he's not going to see the dick she's
trying to put the headphones back.

Speaker 2 (44:38):
I'm like, you know what Sydney needs for the house work,
and she needs that like glasses, kids with the room
for air.

Speaker 3 (44:48):
With literally just and it would just be the string
hot yeah. Tailor. Back to the moms on the internet,
I feel like you have more examples mess of them. Well,
like we're how long have you and your mother been
friends on socials?

Speaker 1 (45:02):
Long time? Me and my mom are very close. I
do have a selfless mom. My mom is great. My
mom can get away with anything.

Speaker 5 (45:06):
She can send me any memes she on she can do.

Speaker 1 (45:09):
My mom is the best. She raised my brother and
I by herself, single mom, while working three jobs and
putting herself through college.

Speaker 3 (45:14):
You know who works too, kids and steps.

Speaker 1 (45:20):
My mom and I love her and so she can
do whatever she wants on Facebook. But I will say
I've been on Facebook in years and years, but when
I was on back in the day, these moms are
on there speaking of mess exclusive, airing each other out.

Speaker 3 (45:33):
They're airing each other out.

Speaker 1 (45:34):
They're literally geting on Facebook's adest and be like to
whoever told my daughter down to the school today that
she couldn't wear a tube top. I told her she
could wear it next time, call me. And then they're
in the comments being like she's too young for a
tube you know, like they're really like going in over there,
and I love and respect it.

Speaker 2 (45:49):
Yeah, I feel like that generation uses social media differently
than everybody else. Yeah, because there is full sentences they
use this Senmi Collin's.

Speaker 3 (45:57):
It's like girl, we use the word us.

Speaker 2 (46:00):
It's a it's seymour that you're gonna have to and
then you're gonna see the rest of the paracraft aarographs
roll out and they're giving they're giving full on college dissertation.

Speaker 3 (46:10):
They're they're indenting, they're tabbing in.

Speaker 1 (46:15):
I'm worried that my mom is addicted to the attention
because she after I did a podcast episode with her
and people really liked that. Oh she's getting stopped on
the street for pictures, people love it.

Speaker 3 (46:24):
Shut up.

Speaker 1 (46:25):
But now she's created a profile on every platform that
she didn't have one to go and comment on stuff,
Like she created a YouTube account just to comment on
the video and be like, thank y'all for the love
I'm so proud of my son, and she's loving the likes.
I can feel it, I can feel it changing it.

Speaker 3 (46:39):
She worked hard for she made you.

Speaker 1 (46:41):
She didn't.

Speaker 3 (46:42):
She worked hard for that.

Speaker 1 (46:44):
She did. She worked hard for me, and then I
worked hard for the likes. She kind of into the
yes mom, the and the likes.

Speaker 3 (46:54):
She wants to do at the shows, which you on
stage doing.

Speaker 1 (46:58):
At the show. She's at the sh show. She's getting
real drunk at the shows. That's my girl.

Speaker 3 (47:02):
I think mom's on the internet, like my mom. My
mom was on the.

Speaker 2 (47:06):
Internet, and she was the type to like give bad
news in the comments, like you're posting of you in
your Halloween costume and she's like, oh my god, Uncle
sugar Doo died.

Speaker 3 (47:20):
Stop like that Sugardo died. Was he diabetic? I don't
know his name, but that was just that was his nickname.
I don't know. That's not like he lost the foot, No,
it's not.

Speaker 2 (47:34):
He had all his limbs, but they called him uncle Sugardo.
He lived in Little Rock, Arkansas. That feels like a
name that pairs well with a place, and Little Rock,
Arkansas has multiple sugar Do.

Speaker 3 (47:44):
Sugar Doo.

Speaker 2 (47:44):
Yeah, he had his refrigerator locked up, chain, chain and lock.
We could not just go in there and just get
a nice cold pop. He was like, you're gonna have
to get that key because I'm tired.

Speaker 3 (47:54):
Of you kids running in and out.

Speaker 5 (47:56):
And he's real, because kids do running in and out.

Speaker 3 (47:58):
He said, you're not drinking on my Oh, they grabbed
too much.

Speaker 1 (48:02):
From the fridge. My little cousins come over to my
house in King City and they try to do all
kinds of crazy shit. They try to eat a popsicle
on my couch. I said, the couch is more important
to me than you are. Get off the couch with
the popsicle.

Speaker 3 (48:13):
What color is the couch.

Speaker 5 (48:14):
The couch is a.

Speaker 1 (48:15):
Light gray and the popsicle is a dark purple. These
boys are not responsible. They're eating popcorn in the bed.
I can't believe it. Who raised them? Well, they're being
raised very progressive. Sounds like my uncle are very progressive. Okay,
I rethought hitting kids. I've been so anti hitting kids,
and then sometimes they're at my house and I go,
I understand it.

Speaker 3 (48:34):
You're anti hitting kids. Maybe don't hit them, but shake
them a little, never hit them.

Speaker 1 (48:38):
Well, you can't shake them either, because their brains are fragile.
Maybe shake a kid.

Speaker 3 (48:43):
The kids are not what they used to be. They're indestructible.

Speaker 1 (48:48):
No, I want to talk to you off mic. I
want to talk to you.

Speaker 3 (48:51):
Yeah, No, you need to talk to on Mike. I
mean we've been, haven't.

Speaker 2 (48:54):
We've had some some controversial takes here, and they let
us know in the reviews that they weren't.

Speaker 3 (49:00):
They weren't happy about something said.

Speaker 1 (49:03):
It's so annoyed, you know, I know. And it's also like,
you know what I don't like Now everyone keeps a
record the same thing with me. I'll say things and
people will be like actually, and I'm like, shut up,
you can there's this whole record now, and everyone expects
you to be flawless.

Speaker 5 (49:15):
I'm like, I'm not.

Speaker 1 (49:17):
I just want to say sometimes I'm feeling something and
the vibe is more important than the veracity.

Speaker 2 (49:21):
You know. I just want to let everybody know I'm
a comedian first. Yeah, I'm saying no, no, no.

Speaker 3 (49:27):
No no, you're a Christian first, Christian faith Christian.

Speaker 1 (49:33):
I'm a comedian in faith first and foremost. Find me
down at the being a comedian in faith. I have
a question for you too. Yes, it's been on my mind.
I was thinking about it on my way over here. Okay,
the show is called Messy.

Speaker 3 (49:47):
Your two that's mess that you came here. Didn't know
the title.

Speaker 1 (49:51):
Mess and messy. It's one letter.

Speaker 3 (49:53):
Give me that.

Speaker 2 (49:55):
Messy means that it is, you know in the guise
of mess. Yeah, mess is mess Like, yeah, mess is marriad.

Speaker 3 (50:03):
This is what I'm not sure where she's arguing, but.

Speaker 1 (50:06):
No, this is a mariment. I need to Yeah, I
need to check.

Speaker 3 (50:09):
Out your good sister's side. Whatever I say, you'd be like, yep, yeah,
because you've said multiple things today that I was like, well,
you're you're edible is defensive, That's what it is. Yeah,
and you know what, I would do it again. But
bag glad, she's a woman. I want to do what
I wanted to be today, you know, and I want

(50:29):
to be hum that. I want to be my love Doug.
But science whatever, it doesn't matter. I'm looking for lip bomb.

Speaker 1 (50:37):
What's the question that you're well, your guys dynamic just
now really leads into the question, which is I want
to know genuinely and don't please don't lie to.

Speaker 5 (50:44):
Me because I have a barometer for it and I'm
not feeling it.

Speaker 3 (50:48):
I don't want to hear the truth the liars, first
liars in second christ by faith.

Speaker 1 (50:56):
I'm a Christian by faith. I want to know in
y'all's long story, beautiful friendship, Yeah, what is the biggest
mess that you two have had between the two of you?
Got your ass?

Speaker 3 (51:05):
I'm thinking, got your ass? So me and City don't
really have mess.

Speaker 1 (51:08):
Don't lie to me. See this is what I'm talking about.
You're gonna tell me in your whole friendship, we don't.

Speaker 3 (51:15):
Have a mess.

Speaker 5 (51:16):
That's not what Sydney's eyes are telling me. Sydney, Okay, Well, the.

Speaker 2 (51:19):
Only mess that we had was when we when we
wanted your birthday trip for Americash.

Speaker 3 (51:24):
That was the only mess. Uh, what happened? Our friend,
our friend of ours had planned a lot of the stuff,
and there was because I'm not a planner. Yeah, and
it's not birthday trip, but I don't want to plan.
And it was no breaks. It was no breaks, and
you know, I'm a nap. I need a nap. I'm
a sleepy ass whole.

Speaker 2 (51:42):
And so you know I didn't travel, you know, eighteen
hours to go somewhere and then be like fee five
four FuMB and we're running rip zips up. But it
was also her birthday, so I was like me, wants
to run around as well.

Speaker 5 (51:53):
Yeh, what was.

Speaker 3 (51:56):
The itinerary was stacked? It was stacked. Scale send you
a Google doc trip. Actually I should say I gotta
I gotta cancel, like yeah, but you know what the
real mess is here. Sid had the itinerary weeks before
the trip, never checked it, and then we get on
the trip. That being said, I also didn't really check it.

(52:20):
We get there and it was like, oh, this is
a park, this is a this is a where were
we garden the gardens and it was like tour guys,
biographic ass tour. No, it be fine, but it was
like we've been friends for you. We've never had a
nine terran. We go with the flow. We vibes only
go somewhere. I'm not touching. We touched down. We know somebody,

(52:41):
We post hey, we hear, We get twenty texts, hey
come here it. We get in free. We ain't worried
about I'm not hearing any mess.

Speaker 1 (52:48):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (52:48):
So what I'm trying to say to you is we
haven't really you know, there was a mess. We was
in a desert. Baby, we drove ten eleven hours to
the desert, and I said, oh this my well go
to Morocco and doesn't go to the Sahara Desert. I
didn't know that.

Speaker 4 (53:01):
So what I didn't know that we was driving in
a little It was in the itinerary in a little
ass was seven of the Google doc you need to
tap in.

Speaker 1 (53:11):
So where's the mess? Y'all?

Speaker 5 (53:12):
Gotten to fight?

Speaker 3 (53:12):
The two of you?

Speaker 1 (53:14):
I cried, sorry because because of something between the two.

Speaker 5 (53:21):
But she didn't make the itinerary.

Speaker 2 (53:22):
So also I didn't know that. I was like, you
would plan something like this. Was like, girl, you know
I didn't plan nothing.

Speaker 3 (53:28):
I was like, all right, cool, cool, Well we was.

Speaker 2 (53:31):
We was in tents and it was the tense where
like it was all three of us and there's a
little veil. You could hear, you could smell somebody pooping, ping,
showering that I could see.

Speaker 3 (53:42):
I could see your uterus. Like it was a lot.
But that's how it made us closer, actually made it.
To answer your question, there hasn't really been no mess
between us, y'all just put on a master cross in lying.
Telling lying, Sydney is telling you a story about a
girl's trip where uh, somebody cried, that's what girls trips are. Yeah,

(54:03):
I don't go on if you don't. If you First
of all, we went on a ten day with Max.
Too many Dan days. That's there. No like girls that much,
including Listbi.

Speaker 1 (54:14):
I don't do trips with girls anymore.

Speaker 5 (54:16):
Oh, I'm off it.

Speaker 1 (54:17):
I love women, all loved women, yes, but trips with
women you have to be built. Even as a game man,
you have to be built.

Speaker 3 (54:24):
Murray, I can't ride my Marie. You giving up element.

Speaker 1 (54:29):
The last ten minutes of Marie first of all, baked
out of her mind.

Speaker 3 (54:33):
Just let me just take everything out of the clawing
through the purse, apple headphone.

Speaker 5 (54:37):
Just going, just going.

Speaker 3 (54:38):
Yeah, Marks was crazy face masks, this is.

Speaker 5 (54:41):
Nuts, this is nuts.

Speaker 3 (54:42):
And he just gave it to eye under eye.

Speaker 1 (54:44):
Think for anyone that's just listening and not watching. I'm
coming to you live from the recording mill. They brought
me to Times Square, These girls brought me to Times
Square to go through their purse and ignore me.

Speaker 3 (54:59):
No, I would, I would never, Caleb, I've been locked
in with They put me.

Speaker 1 (55:03):
In the Christopher Columbus Tier of Whites, and then they
started going through their bags and now they're sharing products
and tips.

Speaker 3 (55:12):
I'm been mistreated, but I love.

Speaker 2 (55:13):
That you asked this question because when people ask about
me and I'm like, yo, the reason why we have
not made it.

Speaker 3 (55:20):
To the top is because we put our friendship first. Yeah,
you can give you a stuff on each other a
little bit.

Speaker 2 (55:24):
I'd rather have no money, you know, podcasts just doing okay,
then like us, you know, have a million dollar deal
and then.

Speaker 3 (55:32):
Hate each other million dollars and this will be our
last episode. Yeah yeah, all right, let me head out.
Here we go, here we go. Everything. I took out
the person.

Speaker 2 (55:43):
But you know, you know some people who link up
and start doing you know, work together and like collaborating
and then be duos whatever, and they literally hate each
other just together because they're making money.

Speaker 3 (55:53):
And I said, I rather not make money and be
with my No, I'm saying that is listening.

Speaker 2 (56:04):
Yeah, well, you ever have true friendship, then the bag
I wasn't a friend.

Speaker 1 (56:09):
I wouldn't by the way, by the way, yeah not me.
I'm different, but God bless I love that.

Speaker 5 (56:16):
God bless. I would sell either one of you out
for for a two hundred dollars.

Speaker 3 (56:22):
And that's why you in the Columbus cheer of what.

Speaker 1 (56:27):
No, I'm kidding, y'all know I'm kidding.

Speaker 3 (56:48):
Oh, here's my good wife.

Speaker 1 (56:50):
I would do anything to hear my name right now.
I would do anything name right now. God, if you
can hear me, put my name on Marie's heart, God,
if you can hear me.

Speaker 3 (57:00):
Okay, I just want you to know, this has been
the messiest episode we've had. That's my goal.

Speaker 5 (57:04):
That's my goal.

Speaker 3 (57:05):
The purse.

Speaker 5 (57:06):
The purse was unacceptable.

Speaker 3 (57:10):
That's in the running tour was unacceptable.

Speaker 1 (57:13):
The purse was a stone too fall. The purse was
in front to me, in front of God. The purse
was not right.

Speaker 2 (57:20):
When I watched a movie of my life with the
Lord and he says, why you pull your purse out?

Speaker 3 (57:25):
And yeah, goode stuff buying lips were dry and he said, okay,
well now you now, now you get one more.

Speaker 5 (57:34):
That's gonna go.

Speaker 1 (57:34):
I say, you the best white to do your podcast?
And you started going through your purse. He's gonna cry.

Speaker 3 (57:39):
I need. I need everybody in this room right now,
that's that's watching us before this, to think of their
best white. And I'm gonna ask y'all at the end
of the episode.

Speaker 1 (57:47):
I think mine is Dolly Parton, but I don't want
to make it all about that. It just kind of
came back to that organically.

Speaker 3 (57:51):
Never showed her man. Yeah, okay, she keeps him put away, hiding.

Speaker 2 (57:57):
He's in hiding. She's always had very large breast. But
she doesn't ask like. She doesn't act like a like
a triple titty, you know, I mean not triple titty.
She doesn't act like a triple dye lady. You know
she Actually it seems very demure.

Speaker 5 (58:12):
She's a double age.

Speaker 3 (58:13):
Actually, yes, she's a double if I knew that as
somebody who doesn't care about women so much.

Speaker 1 (58:22):
Yeah, oh, ladies, When did I say I don't care
about women?

Speaker 3 (58:27):
You said women and girls, strips and y'all and with girls.

Speaker 1 (58:31):
I mean, it's crazy the things y'all can get bent
out of shape about. Excuse me, wow, Garden, it's crazy.
You agree?

Speaker 3 (58:38):
I agree? Because that was the tears in the desert.

Speaker 1 (58:41):
Yeah, all of a sudden, someone's crying in the living room.
Like I just feel like if we're going to sit
at the pool, like everyone should be notified. It's like,
come out to the pool, bitch, Like, what is going on?

Speaker 3 (58:48):
First? Of all. Marie was no, no, no, Marie will
not even notify it because she's on edibals, just on mushrooms,
chilling like most of.

Speaker 2 (59:00):
The desert and doesn't do shrooms. So your sober best
friend ten days off you celebrate. Yeah, you know what
saying it like that. It doesn't sound like see where
I messed up. It's not like ten days on because
you invited me.

Speaker 3 (59:18):
Yeah, you invited me that. No, no, no no, because
that's what I was crying about, and that. I was like,
you don't even need me here? Well am I here?

Speaker 5 (59:26):
Yeah? And she was like, no, what you were crying to?

Speaker 3 (59:31):
I hate tell me if you were crying, hold on
because because Sydney is the only person who can make
me cry my own tears. Yeah, and you know, I'm
good for a good cry, like at least once a year.

(59:52):
And it happened in America, And it happened in America.
This is twice.

Speaker 2 (59:58):
The other time you cried was into but you cried
because you were on mushrooms and you were having a
good time.

Speaker 3 (01:00:02):
The mushrooms is a is throughout. Yeah, it's the theme
of everything. You know. I like to feel good on
my birthday, but the whole day to feel like I
just floated through it and maybe I fell off a camel.
And yeah, my friend cried in a tent while our
friend was pooping next.

Speaker 1 (01:00:18):
To me, crying my own tears in Marrakesh. Yeah, another memoir,
beautiful Tears in Marrakesh.

Speaker 3 (01:00:25):
I also was having a like a schmid life crisis
while we were in mary A, Marrakesh. I was having
a schmid life crisis. And I was just like, I'm old,
I can't hang. I need a nap, Like I'm not fun,
I'm sober. She was cranky.

Speaker 1 (01:00:40):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:00:41):
Also, we was in a car for eleven hours Marine
and then Marie and she's like, girl, you on me.
It's like girl, this off. I'm like, okay, okay, are you.

Speaker 1 (01:01:00):
Hold on you?

Speaker 3 (01:01:01):
I am a person of good posture, right, and I
like my personal space. We all have at least one friend.
They like to lean on you. They lean on me,
like Sidney is very much a leaner. Sidney's a put
my feet under your but like you know what I'm saying,
Like Sydney is a she's lying. Also, she's lying. I'm

(01:01:25):
killing the truth. The seats in the car were like this,
and it's four of us on in the aisle. Girl
was like, I'm not sitting in the middle. I'm not.
She refused birth. So I'm in the middle seat and
we're doing this and my knee touch you. That's not
what happened. That's not hold on, that's not what happened.

Speaker 5 (01:01:47):
Can I also just.

Speaker 1 (01:01:47):
Call out before you go off to you being like,
we've never really had mesks cuts.

Speaker 3 (01:01:54):
Both in the sah get it right. There's two types
of people in the world. You're sitting in a car,
we turn a corner, you lean obviously, that's how gravity works.

Speaker 2 (01:02:14):
You lean in and then you pick up, or you
lean in after the turn and you just stay there.
Sidney is a staate there. I cannot sit a state.
Marie isn't very much. My space is my space and
I need everybody. Marie would be like, this is my
space and it's a lot of space.

Speaker 3 (01:02:30):
She got all the space. It's how is it a
lot of space? She's a tiny girl, but the space
is wide, tiny girl, big spaceople big world.

Speaker 5 (01:02:39):
People in this world. Dolly Parton and Sydney's manager.

Speaker 3 (01:02:44):
Three types of people in the world. Dolly Parton, Sydney's
manager Lizzy Grubman shout out to you where you at?
I don't even know where we are at with time.

Speaker 2 (01:02:56):
Fabulous, Wait we have we need to read a message
message you know, we'll roll you out because I feel
like we got so much.

Speaker 3 (01:03:03):
We really you really gave, girl, we are giving. I
hope these microphones are on, because if not, y'all missed
a hell of an episode.

Speaker 1 (01:03:12):
I would well, by the way I've done that, I've
done a two hour, two or four so on someone's
podcast and at the end looked over to the producer
and be like, it's well, normally the lights like episode,
my Joe Rogan episode is gonna come out.

Speaker 5 (01:03:28):
Yeah, I'm just kidding.

Speaker 3 (01:03:29):
I would never that is crazy.

Speaker 1 (01:03:32):
He wouldn't have me on. He's scared.

Speaker 3 (01:03:33):
Wait, you would do Joe Rogan, Joe Rogan.

Speaker 1 (01:03:36):
I would go on Joe Rogan and change that young
man's life.

Speaker 3 (01:03:38):
You young I would like to see that. Actually, it's
kind of old old.

Speaker 1 (01:03:44):
It was kind of funny to call me on. I thought, yeah,
I would have he would be a he would be
a Burnie supporter by the end.

Speaker 3 (01:03:48):
You know what's mess agism? I'm about tie to everybody's
old really, and the thing is. It's like if I
was in your situation, Wait what your wife? Okay, Luigi, you're.

Speaker 2 (01:04:03):
Getting up assassinating me right now, and.

Speaker 3 (01:04:08):
You know you're Americans three hearts, so you're not going
to jail for that.

Speaker 5 (01:04:11):
You're saying that you're against ageism.

Speaker 1 (01:04:13):
Is like when Chick fil A has those cows holding
the sign that say eat more chickens.

Speaker 3 (01:04:17):
Can we add Luigi to the list of whites? Oh yeah,
you're gonna put him go to bed? Where are you putting?

Speaker 1 (01:04:23):
Good?

Speaker 3 (01:04:24):
Until I learned that he got captured out of McDonald's,
and then it's like, baby, my number one thing we
should have gone, here's Olive Garden. That's why I think
it's not really him was not the move.

Speaker 1 (01:04:34):
If he did kill that man, and I don't free him.
I don't think he did. But if he did kill
that man, Altuna was not the move. Altuna Pennsylvania was
not the escape.

Speaker 3 (01:04:42):
But to have the gun with you, yeah, have like
a letter that's like I didn't why would you.

Speaker 1 (01:04:49):
Here's what I'm going to say about the Luigi thing
to that CEO, that man who had a wife and kids, right,
and a guy who was a normal guy. They better
his family. Better hope that I don't it on the
jury because Luigi is going home.

Speaker 5 (01:05:03):
I'm sending him home.

Speaker 3 (01:05:04):
Now, and I just want to say, this is how
un serious America.

Speaker 1 (01:05:07):
He'll be having meat balls with Nana by Sunday night.
I'm sending him home. Well, hold on, he's going home.
He's going home. Brother, I don't care. I'm a little
interested in what he did.

Speaker 3 (01:05:18):
Luigi the white O J. Simpson of this generation. He
might be no, but I'm just saying, like, in terms
of like a trial that will capture the nation, it's
definitely gonna be. Yeah. Yeah, brothers.

Speaker 5 (01:05:34):
Yeah that was yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:05:38):
Yeah's interesting when they was buying all that stuff.

Speaker 1 (01:05:42):
Their parents, Yeah, their parents.

Speaker 3 (01:05:45):
Oh how was that agent? Because I don't identify as
a Menendez brother trial fan.

Speaker 2 (01:05:50):
Yeah, you know what, we got some mess we'll read
some we do messages here. We were supposed to do
messy and just living. But I feel like the whole episode, Bro,
there's no supposed to this is mess.

Speaker 3 (01:06:04):
Yeah, it felt like mess. Okay, yeah, here we go,
you already Yeah, tapped in walked in the title. My
friends like him, but he likes me period period. You know,
I'm here for it. Hey, y'all. So boom, that's the
first sentence. Let's go started, So boom. Me and Calli

(01:06:24):
are homegirls. She tells me there's this fine ass guy
that starts at her job and she has a crush.
His name is Henry.

Speaker 2 (01:06:31):
She brings him around, and I can tell he's clearly
not into her. You could tell I don't like the
way you wrote that friend as a friend. He's clearly
ni aanswer. You feel good about that, You feel good
about writing.

Speaker 3 (01:06:43):
That wishful thinking on her end. So over the last
seven months we've all hung out as a group, about
eight of us all together. I realized I like the
nigga too, okay, so boom. So one day I tell him,
but only because I thought Calli was hooking up with
someone else in the group. Henry tells me he's digging
me too. Turns out she wasn't hooking up, but she

(01:07:05):
later tells me she sees herself marry Henry queen mind jew.
He does not like her at all. She's just not
his speed.

Speaker 5 (01:07:13):
Callie is my delusional queen.

Speaker 3 (01:07:15):
I love her.

Speaker 1 (01:07:15):
I would do anything for Callie.

Speaker 3 (01:07:17):
Me and Henry are vibing. Oh d. He doesn't want
drama because he likes the friend group and he works
with Callie. He doesn't want to hurt her feelings. I'm like,
fuck it, just tell her the truth. You don't like
her life isn't fair? Am I wrong for this? We
grown just because you like someone, that does not mean
you called dibbs. Unless he secretly likes her, but I

(01:07:37):
don't think so. This is back this back and forth
that she wrote.

Speaker 2 (01:07:40):
But that's how I know she's the psychopath, because the
way she's like talking to us, talking to herself is
a lot.

Speaker 3 (01:07:46):
It's well written, though, Yeah, because I'm following the train
of thought. Unless he secretly likes her, but I don't
think so, because she's made her interest very known and
he hasn't acted at all. She thinks he's scared of
the pussy. Wow, but me and him made out.

Speaker 5 (01:08:01):
Calli is so fucking real. Way, Kelly is so fucking real?

Speaker 3 (01:08:04):
Callie? I love you girl. Wait, no, Calli is the
friend this is you're talking about?

Speaker 1 (01:08:09):
The friend is the delusional one that thinks he's scared
of the pussy. Yes, that's Callie.

Speaker 5 (01:08:13):
Yeah, I'm riding with Cali.

Speaker 3 (01:08:14):
Wait, hold on, hold on, hold on, I got one
more Okay, from the top. He thinks she's scared of
the pussy. But me and him made out and I
kissed his dick, so if he wanted to, he would.
What y'all think war misregards.

Speaker 1 (01:08:31):
So my thoughts is this mess call is an icon,
Henry is irrelevant, and this person needs to go fuck
someone else. If your friend likes him, go fuck someone else.
There's a million people to fuck. Why does it have
to be the person your friend likes that she works with? Weirdo?

Speaker 3 (01:08:47):
Yeah, but why are you trying to hook up with
somebody that you work with?

Speaker 1 (01:08:49):
Calie is one of the realist person people I've ever
heard of. I love Calli. She's delusional, she's messy, she's
out of her mind. I'm obsessed with Callie, So.

Speaker 3 (01:08:59):
Is the person who wrote this email. Yeah, and out
of her mind as well.

Speaker 1 (01:09:03):
She's out of her mind in a way that's mean
to her friend.

Speaker 2 (01:09:06):
Yeah, and that's that's that's my main issue is the
way she How you write a story is basically how
you're going to be perceived and how you Because I
would say I don't think he's into her, but I
was like, he's he's foolish, because why is he not
in my friend?

Speaker 3 (01:09:20):
My friend is a catch I have.

Speaker 1 (01:09:22):
I have never had dick in my life good enough
to hurt my friend's feelings about.

Speaker 5 (01:09:26):
It a man forever ever, ever once And that's good Dick.

Speaker 3 (01:09:30):
Thank you, Sam. Why why why?

Speaker 1 (01:09:33):
I just don't there's so many people to fuck. Why
does it have to be to me? What Liz is
there's something unprocessed in you. You're getting off on the
fact that he likes you and not your.

Speaker 3 (01:09:41):
Friends, and that is the mess and that's why the man.
Thank you for writing this girl. But you know we
we are listening and judging, and I'm gonna stay.

Speaker 2 (01:09:54):
Yes, I'm judging you based off like your friendship, like,
because it doesn't matter if this guy like you or
her whatever, The most important thing is the friendship.

Speaker 3 (01:10:03):
Also, she says, life's not fair.

Speaker 5 (01:10:05):
Is not more of a reason for you to be
fair to your friends?

Speaker 3 (01:10:08):
Yes, but you can be fair to your friends, be fair?
Come on, but how is this your friend?

Speaker 2 (01:10:14):
If?

Speaker 4 (01:10:15):
And like?

Speaker 3 (01:10:17):
For me, it's a it's a couple of different things.
One if Henry doesn't like her, he needed to say
something that you're just like I like we work together,
and I like the friend group but you don't like
my friend, so tell her or make that clear. Don't
be in my face and then for her to be
like I thought she was hooking up with someone else?
Is this your friend or not? Is your friend? You

(01:10:38):
would know? You would find my friend app you know
where she at, know who she hooking up with? Yeats
nothing about it here about him? Also, you you can
tell this is this is young gals. This is a
young gal thing, because when you're a little bit older,
you're like, I'm tired, I don't I don't care. Everybody
can go. I don't have time for I'm Also that's

(01:11:00):
still young. But also, girl, you know you're not gonna
be with Henry Fevor. So you get it in what
you fit it in. You know, it's be nice to
your friend, be nice to your her and bang him
behind her back? Marie Mary, I wouldn't, But like, why
would you not tell her that? Y'all? Are I up?

(01:11:22):
I messed up? And this is you know now I'm
looking at the friend that wrote the thing. Yeah, oh
hey girl, you know man Henry was hanging out this
weekend And now she's like, what happened? Well, what did
she say? I kissed his dick, I kiss his dick.

Speaker 2 (01:11:34):
Well, you know, I think I famously told this story
on unofficial expert but like I hooked up with her
friend's ex boyfriend or fiance.

Speaker 3 (01:11:44):
Wait, hold on, maybe child's father. Yeah, no, that it
was her at the time.

Speaker 2 (01:11:54):
No, no, no, no, no, they had it was already done.
They were no longer you know, none of that. But
I had came in to the group later on and
so I missed all that part. But you know, I
will say that's top five things I regret. I wish
I never did it. It was not worth it, and
she ended up like trying to snatch my bangs out
of my hair in a dressing room and it wasn't

(01:12:15):
worth it because I was a dressing room.

Speaker 3 (01:12:17):
Pasha.

Speaker 2 (01:12:17):
We was in Pasha Pasha downstairs and we were in
a dressing room and she was like working that night
and I and I was like kind of a go
go dancer, but not really, I was just it.

Speaker 3 (01:12:28):
They just they was like Sidney, we like you you
get up there, you know, you look a mess, but
it's fine.

Speaker 2 (01:12:33):
But she was like, you don't work here, And I said,
that's crazy because I just got a tax return from
this place. So I do. I do work here, but
I was saying this to an OG person who actually
works there for real, and all I know is she
lunged after me, tried to snatch my bangs right off,
and I think, shout out to the girl, Shout out
to the girl who did my sew in, because it
was it was attacked.

Speaker 3 (01:12:53):
I think I saw this episode of Really the Bang
Snatch episode.

Speaker 2 (01:13:00):
Yeah, I can remember, but I'm illusional because I was like,
you know, she should have been more understanding.

Speaker 3 (01:13:04):
It's like, girl, you cooked up with her ex fiance
behind her back and you were in her face and
it was just like it was not good. It was
not good girl, good friends, girl, it was bad. Well
you know what it is too. I think at the
end of the day, the biggest problem here is y'all
gassing Henry up exactly. And if you're gonna send us
a letter like this, you have to include a photo. Yeah, Cragg,

(01:13:25):
is he hot enough for y'all to be He's noting this,
I need to see. Henry said he's fine as hell,
he's yeah, and then she met him and she said
he was cute, So send we need a part two.

Speaker 5 (01:13:36):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:13:36):
Also, if you were good enough friends. By the way,
you should be able to go to your friend and
be like, I don't think he's vibing with you, but
I'm kind of into him. Ho would feel about that?

Speaker 3 (01:13:43):
You hate it?

Speaker 1 (01:13:43):
No worries, you know.

Speaker 3 (01:13:44):
Maybe that's why I feel like this is like twenty two.
This is young girls. Yeah, this is silly, and they
have their whole lives to like, find new friends, do
new have another job and all. So I'm not too
worried about it.

Speaker 1 (01:13:57):
A good friend is worth A good friend is worth
more than gold.

Speaker 3 (01:14:01):
A good friend was worth more than a million dollars.

Speaker 2 (01:14:02):
Sidney sent you know what, don't get rid of a
good friend, and I love and this is what we
should end the podcast one.

Speaker 3 (01:14:08):
A good friend is worth more than some day is
worth more than gold.

Speaker 1 (01:14:11):
Right, Marie did not want to give.

Speaker 3 (01:14:12):
That hand over.

Speaker 5 (01:14:15):
Marie did not want to give that handover.

Speaker 1 (01:14:16):
I'll tell you that.

Speaker 3 (01:14:17):
Wow, I know you like your personal space friend.

Speaker 1 (01:14:20):
You know me when you're not strong in me?

Speaker 3 (01:14:27):
Come on, Caleb, I love you so much. You are
you know, if I had to be top Whites, you are.
You're there. You're in the top ten top.

Speaker 1 (01:14:37):
It doesn't I want to be I mean, I love
to be number one. There's no reasoning on it didn't
feel some day you're going to tell me that and
I'm going to believe it. But I don't think I've
earned it yet, and I'm gonna keep working on it.
You're going, I'm gonna work.

Speaker 3 (01:14:50):
I know you're you're good at your job gives.

Speaker 1 (01:14:54):
I'm gonna get you one flight to Kansas City and
then and then I'll feel that I'm there.

Speaker 3 (01:14:59):
You don't even need to. I mean, if you're gonna
get the flight at the flight. But I'm just saying, like,
you know, show me what's going on and I'll.

Speaker 1 (01:15:07):
Think you some barbecue and can see they'll change your life.

Speaker 5 (01:15:08):
That's what I'll do.

Speaker 2 (01:15:09):
And he's the ambassador he puts on for his city,
so I know he gonna show you around and do it.

Speaker 1 (01:15:14):
You're all you're both in the come and you're gonna
come out of it thinking. Man, as far as.

Speaker 3 (01:15:17):
White people go, Caleb, tell everybody.

Speaker 2 (01:15:20):
I mean, everyone knows everyone is following you, but tell
us you know where they can find you and what
you got coming up.

Speaker 3 (01:15:26):
Oh and they should watch my God.

Speaker 1 (01:15:29):
We'll go so True pod is my podcast. Please go
watch and listen to it if you like we're having
We're having great guests on there, have had Sydney, would
love to have you. Marie, you need to come on
sometime and kill says things. If you want to follow me, uh,
you know, you can follow me on TikTok. I'm not
posting on there, but I post on my Instagram story
that's really me, so come check into those.

Speaker 3 (01:15:47):
It gives very Facebook on moms.

Speaker 1 (01:15:49):
So yeah, I'm giving Facebook mom on inso the story
for sure. I'm sharing like I'm genuinely I'm sharing like
memes that are like good morning, Happy Tuesday.

Speaker 3 (01:15:56):
Yes, you're a blessing.

Speaker 1 (01:15:57):
It is to be alive. I'm sharing stuff like that.

Speaker 3 (01:16:00):
Please please share a home with waves crashing in the
background so I can repost easily.

Speaker 1 (01:16:05):
That's literally what I'm doing on there. So yeah, you
guys love it, come over there.

Speaker 3 (01:16:08):
Mm hmm. That's it anyway. I guess we'll see you
next week. This was amazing, Thank you. Friend.

Speaker 2 (01:16:14):
Mess with Sidney Washington and Marie Foston is a production
by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeartRadio Podcasts, created
and hosted by Sidney Washington and Marie Foston, Executive produced
by Olivia Aguilar and Hans Sonny, super produced by Becca Ramos,
edited a mixed by Brian Jeffries.

Speaker 3 (01:16:31):
If you would like your messages read on air, please
email us at mess Thepodcast at gmail dot com or
call for your messages to be played at seven six
three two eight zero six five eight eight