August 24, 2023 • 21 mins
Kris and Andi discuss all the insane names that vaginas are called and take a quiz to test their knowledge of female anatomy. One of them fails miserably.
To tell us what Your Vagina is saying to you; share an Everyday Vagina story or comment: Follow and DM My Vagina Said What on Instagram, @myvaginasaidwhat or email us at MyVaginaSaidWhat@gmail.com!
Please rate and review!
My Vagina Said What is Produced by MaeKr Media
Andi Gordon: Writer
Kris McDaniel: Editor
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
Hey, I'm Chris, I'm Andy, and this is my vagina said.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
What.
Speaker 3 (00:13):
Race yourself? We are about to talk about vaginas.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
Yes, we're here. Glad you're back with us. So, Chris,
what is your vagina saying to you?
Speaker 3 (00:24):
What did you call me?
Speaker 4 (00:27):
Today?
Speaker 1 (00:27):
We are talking about the names we call our vaginas
and what exactly is down there.
Speaker 3 (00:33):
I've been waiting for this conversation forever. I can't wait.
Speaker 4 (00:36):
I know you.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
This has been I think maybe your most anticipated topic.
Speaker 3 (00:41):
No. I like them all.
Speaker 4 (00:42):
Oh okay, I thought this was your favor.
Speaker 3 (00:45):
All of them are my favorite.
Speaker 4 (00:46):
Okay, you're right.
Speaker 3 (00:48):
You know I'm that type of person. I don't really
have a favorite.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
I like everything, everything vagina and vagina adjacent.
Speaker 3 (00:55):
Everything of vagina adjacent. Yes, that's my jam.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
So Chris, what names do you use for your vagina?
Speaker 3 (01:05):
Well, when I'm in the moment, I actually like pussy.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
Well I find that interesting because pussy is offensive to
a lot of women.
Speaker 3 (01:15):
I know, but it's kind of hot during the moment,
you know what I mean. I like him when he
says it, and I like to say it to him. Okay,
but when we're flirting and just sending text messages to
each other. We call it candy.
Speaker 4 (01:27):
You call your vagina candy.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
Candy, and he is rock and we make rock candy.
I like it.
Speaker 4 (01:34):
Okay, how long has it.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
Been only for a couple of years?
Speaker 4 (01:39):
How come you never told me?
Speaker 3 (01:40):
I don't know. I don't know why to tell you.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
You know, we have been preparing for this episode, and
never once did you mention rock.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
Candy, Rock candy, Baby Rock. I leave posted notes on
the mirror. Let's make rock candy.
Speaker 4 (01:54):
You're such a good wife.
Speaker 3 (01:57):
Sometimes you are. You are wonderful. Okay, we're talking about
what names I call my vagina? What do you call
your vagina?
Speaker 4 (02:06):
Okay?
Speaker 1 (02:06):
I would say that as I have gone through my
vagina hood that the names for her have changed.
Speaker 4 (02:17):
So I would say in my teens, I was part
of the Kuchie gang.
Speaker 3 (02:22):
I never really liked the word kucci. I don't know
what it is about the word. I just kind of
don't like it.
Speaker 4 (02:27):
I like it, it's funny, it's.
Speaker 3 (02:28):
Not it's not even funny. I don't know. Every time
I hear the word cucci, I think dirty, dirty vagina.
Speaker 4 (02:34):
Well, I used to.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
Like the word until that kid's game Cucie came out Pucie.
Speaker 4 (02:41):
The little caterpillar.
Speaker 3 (02:43):
That name is not Coucie. It's called Cootie. Why would
they name a game Puccie. It's called COOTI.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
I thought it was kucci to maybe not like the
name anymore, Oh my gosh. Okay, well, anyway, Cuchie actually
comes from a film that Thomas Edison did in eighteen
ninety two. There was a dancer called Fatima, and she
did that Fuji Fatima, the Kuchi Couchi dance.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
Cuchi Cuchi coucha.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
And then I would say, as I've gotten older, I
just go with a straight up vagh.
Speaker 3 (03:18):
Come on, really, just bade. You can't think of anything else.
I don't know you have a JJ, at least spice
it up a little bit.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
Do you know who came up with JJ, or at
least who popularized the JJ?
Speaker 3 (03:32):
Facts again, yes, who popularized popularized the JJ?
Speaker 4 (03:36):
Oprah?
Speaker 3 (03:37):
Okay, okay, I'm down with it.
Speaker 4 (03:40):
It's such a vagina visionary.
Speaker 3 (03:43):
I wonder what name she's coming up with next.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
Yees, so she probably doesn't even use the JJ anymore.
She has a whole new vocabulary for it.
Speaker 3 (03:51):
Can't wait to hear what the next word is oh oh.
There was a South Park episode where they pretended to
be Oprah and they call it the Minge Oprah.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
If you are listening, did you tell Soft Park that
you now go by the mine?
Speaker 3 (04:04):
Sure?
Speaker 4 (04:05):
What is it that you are calling her today? Let
us know, because we'll change our entire podcast name.
Speaker 3 (04:10):
Oh no, my min said whata?
Speaker 1 (04:17):
So we conducted some more on the street interviews with every.
Speaker 3 (04:21):
Day Vagina's Dave Vagina.
Speaker 4 (04:23):
We wanted to know from them, what name do you
like your vagina to be called?
Speaker 3 (04:28):
So here, let's hear what they have to say.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
What do you call your vagina?
Speaker 3 (04:34):
I don't really know.
Speaker 4 (04:35):
Oh, I call it my chacha, the jj bojie.
Speaker 3 (04:38):
I think, I say my pepe.
Speaker 4 (04:39):
What do you like to call your vagina? Anything that's
like sweet?
Speaker 3 (04:43):
Are talking about it like being pretty? I don't mind.
Speaker 5 (04:45):
I call it cood. But when I was a kid,
I just thought that was the nastiest. Have you ever
watched Dukes of Hazzard? Yes, okay, the guy who earned
the garage?
Speaker 3 (04:54):
What was his name? Cooter? So why would you call
it cooter?
Speaker 5 (04:58):
I couldn't even watch this show anymore.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
I thought it was so dirty. Ooh Chatcha. I thought
Chatcha was cute.
Speaker 4 (05:06):
No, it's like dancing around.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
I know. I really like this something pretty.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
No, I'm not into that one either. I really related
to Boji of course.
Speaker 3 (05:17):
And peepee, Oh my god, peepee. Really I can't tell
if it's like a you know, a peter or a pepee.
Speaker 4 (05:26):
Well, you do know, you do?
Speaker 3 (05:28):
A peepee could be a peter.
Speaker 4 (05:30):
If I said my peepee, you would know exactly what
I was trying.
Speaker 3 (05:33):
I know it's your peepee, but I can say peepee
to my boys.
Speaker 4 (05:36):
All right, you're right, you're right.
Speaker 3 (05:39):
Cooter, Oh my god, I loved it. That was funny.
Never even heard that before. Have you ever heard cooter?
Speaker 4 (05:47):
Yes, I've heard cooter. I never heard cooters, oh for sure.
Speaker 3 (05:50):
Oh I'm I'm so sheltered.
Speaker 4 (05:53):
So we did some research on other names that are
being used. Okay, what about bearded clam?
Speaker 3 (05:59):
Ow? Do you know that clams actually have beards. It's
like a little furry thing that sticks out of them
when you're like steaming them.
Speaker 4 (06:07):
Oh, I didn't know that.
Speaker 3 (06:08):
I think that they tear them off when you buy
them from a store. But I've gotten a bag of
clams with a bunch of beards on them. Okay, so
I don't want my vagina to be called a bearded clam.
The same I don't really like that, you know each
other one. I really really dislike meat curtain. Meat curtains,
like a picture.
Speaker 4 (06:28):
Is a piece of steak.
Speaker 3 (06:30):
It's gross.
Speaker 4 (06:31):
That is really offensive. What about fur burger?
Speaker 3 (06:35):
Oh, fur burger, that's for a bushy pussy.
Speaker 4 (06:39):
Do you probably like that? What about fish lips?
Speaker 3 (06:46):
Eh, fish with the vagina, that's disgusting.
Speaker 4 (06:50):
No, I agree, nothing food related.
Speaker 3 (06:52):
What about the upright wing? Do you know what that is? No?
You know, like the slit it's a wink sick, that's
not too bad.
Speaker 4 (07:01):
What about straight up muff?
Speaker 3 (07:02):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (07:05):
When I think muff, though, I just think of pubes.
Speaker 3 (07:07):
I do too. I also think of that hamdmore warmer
you had when you were a kid, the muff that
you would stick both hands in.
Speaker 4 (07:16):
Remember probably what it's referring to.
Speaker 3 (07:18):
Take both hands in ill. That's not sick.
Speaker 4 (07:22):
What about French fried dip?
Speaker 3 (07:27):
That would be a fence in, That would be him,
that would be a well, yeah, that's just offensive in general.
It's just too much food. That's too that's gross. That's nasty.
I like beaver ow beaver.
Speaker 4 (07:42):
That's like a grimy, dirty rodent. I know, but it's funny.
You'd probably love it if it was like pink beaver.
Speaker 3 (07:52):
Oh, but it's pink.
Speaker 4 (07:55):
What about hippo's yawn?
Speaker 3 (07:57):
Oh no, not a freaking hippo makes.
Speaker 4 (08:01):
Me feel like a uh specimen.
Speaker 3 (08:04):
Oh my god. Hippos have this thing where their jaws
open up like double huge, you know what I mean,
like really wide. Why would my vagina be compared to
a hippo's yawn? That's disgusting.
Speaker 4 (08:16):
What about honey pot?
Speaker 3 (08:18):
Oh? I like the honey. Honey Pot's not bad, that's
kind of sweet.
Speaker 4 (08:23):
What about nanny?
Speaker 1 (08:25):
I like nanny, but I know somebody who uses nanny
as their name for grandmother.
Speaker 3 (08:31):
I know someone who uses nanny has their nickname. So yeah,
you're right, that probably would not be a good thing. Kitty, oh,
kitty cat.
Speaker 4 (08:41):
It's like, well, that's because you like pussy.
Speaker 3 (08:43):
I like pussy.
Speaker 4 (08:44):
That's why you like kitty.
Speaker 3 (08:45):
Okay, I like kitty. I always call her, you know what,
I used to call her my girl.
Speaker 4 (08:50):
I call her my lady. Yours is so proper.
Speaker 3 (08:55):
My lady. Yeah, mine is my girl and then there's
always the most popular one, the JJ, right right, an
oprah an oprah. But the JJ's easy. My daughter says
the JJ. Actually no, she says something like no no
box or something like that.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
Like because it's box and it's saying no no no
no box, my no noe box.
Speaker 3 (09:23):
Or I think I'm saying it wrong, though I honestly
think I'm saying it wrong, something like a no no
box or a square or something like that. It's from
a song, Oh you know, I don't know. I'm not
cool enough, okay, every.
Speaker 4 (09:34):
Day vaginas who are cooler than we are?
Speaker 3 (09:36):
What is the song that talks about the no no
square cube? Oh, here's a weird one. Poo tang.
Speaker 4 (09:47):
Oh I like poo tang?
Speaker 3 (09:49):
Do you? I do?
Speaker 4 (09:51):
My friends and I growing up called ourselves the poo
Tang clan.
Speaker 3 (09:54):
Have you ever seen the movie Pooty Tang? No, Yeah,
it's a corny movie, but it was kind of funny,
okay tang.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
The term poutang actually has been around since nineteen oh nine.
It comes from the Louisiana French poutine word, which meant
whore poor.
Speaker 4 (10:09):
Do you still like your poute?
Speaker 3 (10:12):
I still like my poutang same, I do do? I
do do? It is odd to me, but we have
maybe three hundred terms for the vagina. Yeah, and we
still don't know it's true anatomy.
Speaker 4 (10:27):
But yeah, that's true. We don't actually know what things
are called down there.
Speaker 3 (10:31):
No, not really, not medically.
Speaker 4 (10:33):
Yeah, right, medically. Thank you for that clarification.
Speaker 3 (10:35):
Okay, So what have you done for us today? All right?
Speaker 4 (10:38):
So I printed out some women's anatomy diagrams.
Speaker 3 (10:42):
Okay, and we are going.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
To test our knowledge and see how many of these
things we can get right.
Speaker 3 (10:49):
Oh my goodness.
Speaker 4 (10:49):
I would like to preface this by saying I set
us up for success.
Speaker 3 (10:54):
Thank you.
Speaker 4 (10:56):
Something that was very basic. Easy. There's only seven vagina
parts that we need to identify, and I already wrote
their names out, so we kind of have this word bank.
So we just need to test.
Speaker 3 (11:09):
Oh, that's going to be easy for me, a word bank,
as long as I have the words, because honestly, if
I had to like come up with the words myself,
there's no telling what I would come up with.
Speaker 4 (11:18):
I know, he flap.
Speaker 3 (11:25):
Love box.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
All right, So while we go tests or not, we
are going to throw the test diagram that we are
taking up on our social.
Speaker 3 (11:34):
Media Instagram, Facebook, and we'll.
Speaker 4 (11:38):
Be right back after this commercial and we'll share the results.
Speaker 3 (11:41):
Push me luck, welcome back, thanks for sticking with us.
So we took this test. Let's hear what the results were.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
You're only saying that eagerly because you did so well.
Speaker 3 (12:02):
I really did. I aced it. You got seven out
of seven, seven out of seven, thank god for the
word bank. And I got four out of seven. Oh
my god, aren't you a college professor?
Speaker 4 (12:14):
Okay? So we had to identify outer labia, inner labia,
clatorus head, vagina, your wreathraw opening, clatorus, and anis. Okay,
I only got four, right?
Speaker 3 (12:29):
What four did you get? Right? Well?
Speaker 1 (12:30):
I nailed anis okay, that's an easing one.
Speaker 4 (12:36):
And I also got youurethral opening. Oh that was good.
Speaker 3 (12:40):
That one was pretty hard.
Speaker 4 (12:41):
Inner labia and outer labia.
Speaker 3 (12:43):
Okay. I switched those around. The inner labia and the
urethral opening. I had switched them around, and then I
changed my answers. Okay, okay, I ended it with a
perfect score.
Speaker 4 (12:53):
I mean I didn't get vagina or clatoris head.
Speaker 3 (12:56):
I don't believe that. I honestly was guessing on some
of these, but I did good.
Speaker 4 (13:03):
Here's the thing.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
In our pilot episode, we told our listeners that we
had vagina authority, and now I feel completely shamed into
saying I have no authority other than to say we
need your help.
Speaker 3 (13:16):
I think I just got my vagina degree. You did,
you did. Although maybe I should start using some of
these terms, like outer labia. That's the lips, right.
Speaker 4 (13:28):
Yes, that's what I've got with my scissors.
Speaker 3 (13:30):
Before God, So maybe I should start saying outer labia
instead of lips.
Speaker 4 (13:34):
I think your man would love that.
Speaker 3 (13:36):
I don't say lips to my man.
Speaker 4 (13:39):
Oh do you say it to me?
Speaker 3 (13:40):
I say it to you.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
I prefer lip, okay, instead of outer labia. That's where
fish lips probably comes from. Oh again with the fish,
I know, I know. So did you know that before
sixteen eighties there wasn't even a medical term for the vagina.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
What what did they call it?
Speaker 4 (14:00):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
But before then, the Latin word vagina was referred to
as a sheath for a sword.
Speaker 3 (14:06):
A vagina was the sheath for the Wow, yeah.
Speaker 4 (14:11):
That's what a vagina was.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
But before any of that, the ancient Greek philosopher Aretaeus.
He believed that the uterus bounced around our body. He
described it as an animal within an animal.
Speaker 3 (14:24):
Wow, that's weird. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
He also believed it caused organ illness as it wandered
around our bodies. And he believed that our animal like vagina,
responded to smell, so you could lure it into place
by offering it fragrance.
Speaker 3 (14:40):
It okay. So he thought the vagina was an animal
because he could not resist it, and he couldn't understand
why he was so drawn to it, that it is
this wild animal with magnetism that he can't control.
Speaker 4 (14:54):
That just hit hard. Chris, that was some deep stuff.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
I wish he could go back and let tell him
about himself. Gullin he was the top medical researcher in
the Roman Empire.
Speaker 4 (15:08):
He thankfully didn't think.
Speaker 1 (15:10):
That our unus was wandering around in our bodies it
as an animal, but he believed that the vagina was
literally an inside out penis.
Speaker 3 (15:19):
Ow.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
He said that if you could imagine shoving all the
man bits from the man's body, the scrotum would be
the uterus, the penis would be the vagina, and the
testicles would be the ober East God.
Speaker 3 (15:30):
These men the things they come up with.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
I know, women doctors would have served us so much
more justice.
Speaker 3 (15:37):
Yeah, but there were probably no women doctors back then, exactly.
There just all men trying to figure out how to
deal with our inside out penises.
Speaker 4 (15:45):
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1 (15:46):
It wasn't until the fifteen hundreds, during the Renaissance that
they were able to peer inside cadavers. And then they
began to publish drawings of genitalia along with other.
Speaker 3 (15:56):
Organs female, genitalia and genit talia, but mostly female because
that one is the most puzzling.
Speaker 4 (16:05):
That's probably true. We see what man's working with.
Speaker 3 (16:08):
Yeah, easily.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
Then I mentioned the vagina gets her name in sixteen eighties.
Then in eighteen forties, James mary On Simms. He's a
physician in Alabama. He began regularly performing surgeries on women.
He basically invented the field of gynecology as we know
it today.
Speaker 4 (16:27):
We also have him to thank for the speculum.
Speaker 3 (16:31):
Thank you. Not to get too deep. His practices were
controversial and came at a great expense to women. Okay,
aren't just something more positive?
Speaker 1 (16:40):
It really wasn't until fifty years ago, in nineteen seventy,
the book Our Bodies Ourselves by Judy Norsigen.
Speaker 3 (16:48):
I read that book? Did you? Oh? Did? I had
a friend who her mother had the book, and we
took the book out of her mother's room. We snuck it,
snuck into another room and read it. I read that book.
Speaker 4 (16:59):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
It was really the first book to give frank information
about women's health and sexuality.
Speaker 3 (17:05):
I would love to see that book again.
Speaker 5 (17:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (17:08):
See what my little twelve year old self figured out?
Speaker 1 (17:11):
Yeah, I mean, how do you care for something that
you can't even barely mention it?
Speaker 3 (17:16):
Well? I think I do a pretty good job taking
care of it, even though I don't know the actual terminology.
Speaker 1 (17:22):
That's true, because you rely on your intuition, right. So, yes,
we've learned a lot more about our bodies. But culture
it continues to influence our vaginas, for example, promoting crazy
ideas like how to get your best summer of vagina?
Speaker 3 (17:38):
Ever, yeah, how do you get your best summer of vagina?
What's the summer of vagina?
Speaker 4 (17:43):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
I picture the summer of vagina as tight, neat, and
all within the bounds of a bikini.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
Oh my god, So what is a winner vagina?
Speaker 1 (17:54):
What?
Speaker 3 (17:54):
I have.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
Yeah, we also get cosmetic procedures and surgeries that are
shoved down our throat to shame us into thinking that
our perfectly normal volvas aren't attractive enough.
Speaker 3 (18:10):
Oh, have you ever heard of that vaginal rejuvenation? Yes,
I've always thought that was interesting.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
Yeah, there's a lot of reasons why people can get rejuvenation.
Some of them are for vanity, and then some of
them are for health reasons.
Speaker 3 (18:26):
Like bladder control.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
Yeah, and then painful sex or excessive dryness.
Speaker 3 (18:33):
It would be cool to have her look like she
did when I was younger. It's like a facelift for
the vagina. It sounds kind of cool.
Speaker 4 (18:41):
How do you know she doesn't look like that?
Speaker 3 (18:42):
Oh I've looked. Oh and after five kids, she is
not looking her best. I'm not happy with the way
she looks right now. I'm not gonna lie, but I'm
very sensitive down there, So I don't think I will
be getting the vaginal rejuvenation surgery.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
Well, for sure, we all know that that would give
you a east infection.
Speaker 3 (19:03):
Oh yeah, absolutely everything gives me a East infection. Well,
I'm ready to rewrite some history on what the vagina
is called and what it looks like because it is,
it is what it is. She is her own self,
in her own glory.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
So before we close out today, we wanted to talk
about the worst terms that our vaginas are called.
Speaker 3 (19:30):
Right. We did ask that question as well to the
everyday vagina and it was unanimous. The cunt word is
pretty much the word every American woman hates to be called.
Speaker 1 (19:44):
That term actually was a street name in London back
in twelve thirty and that street was famous for prostitution.
Speaker 3 (19:55):
Well, the Europeans used the cunt word very freely and openly.
It's not as offensive to them as it is to us.
Speaker 4 (20:02):
I also have a story about that.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
So I was I don't know, ten years old, and
I walked through the dining room and my mom was
sitting at the table feverishly writing.
Speaker 4 (20:12):
And I walked past her and she says stop.
Speaker 1 (20:15):
And I turn around and she said and she's pointing
her finger at me, and she says, don't you ever
call anyone a cunt?
Speaker 3 (20:21):
Oh my god?
Speaker 4 (20:24):
And I never had heard that word.
Speaker 3 (20:26):
Oh, okay, okay, thanks for the lesson.
Speaker 1 (20:29):
Yeah, And I walked away And now I'm picturing in
my mind that someone called her that and she was
writing a letter to a manager or someone.
Speaker 3 (20:38):
It is literally the most offensive word you can call
a woman. If you say that word, you are looking
to get your ass beat on the rail.
Speaker 4 (20:45):
Yeah, you're right, it is asking for a fight.
Speaker 3 (20:50):
So one of the everyday Vagina's had an amazing answer
that we just thought you would love to hear. So
we're going to share that with you. What do you
hate it to be called?
Speaker 5 (21:00):
Well, let me tell you I cannot handle the word cunt.
But worst of all, I hate the word snatch.
Speaker 3 (21:06):
Yeah you know, if you want.
Speaker 5 (21:07):
It, you can take it, but you ain't snatch of nothing.
Speaker 3 (21:09):
Now snatch, I love it. That was hilarious, hilarious. All right,
thanks so much for listening to what our vaginas are saying.
For comments, questions, or to let us know what your
vagina is saying, email us at my vagina Said What
at gmail dot com, Follow us on Instagram at hashtag
(21:32):
my vagina said what, Follow us on Facebook and my
vagina said what. Listen, subscribe and rate us on Seneca Women, iHeartRadio,
or wherever you listen.
Speaker 4 (21:42):
Our vagina knowledge is based solely on our experience as
vagina owners. Please see your doctor if you have any
concerns about your vagina, what
Hey, I'm Chris, I'm Andy, and this is my vagina said.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
What.
Speaker 3 (00:13):
Race yourself? We are about to talk about vaginas.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
Yes, we're here. Glad you're back with us. So, Chris,
what is your vagina saying to you?
Speaker 3 (00:24):
What did you call me?
Speaker 4 (00:27):
Today?
Speaker 1 (00:27):
We are talking about the names we call our vaginas
and what exactly is down there.
Speaker 3 (00:33):
I've been waiting for this conversation forever. I can't wait.
Speaker 4 (00:36):
I know you.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
This has been I think maybe your most anticipated topic.
Speaker 3 (00:41):
No. I like them all.
Speaker 4 (00:42):
Oh okay, I thought this was your favor.
Speaker 3 (00:45):
All of them are my favorite.
Speaker 4 (00:46):
Okay, you're right.
Speaker 3 (00:48):
You know I'm that type of person. I don't really
have a favorite.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
I like everything, everything vagina and vagina adjacent.
Speaker 3 (00:55):
Everything of vagina adjacent. Yes, that's my jam.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
So Chris, what names do you use for your vagina?
Speaker 3 (01:05):
Well, when I'm in the moment, I actually like pussy.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
Well I find that interesting because pussy is offensive to
a lot of women.
Speaker 3 (01:15):
I know, but it's kind of hot during the moment,
you know what I mean. I like him when he
says it, and I like to say it to him. Okay,
but when we're flirting and just sending text messages to
each other. We call it candy.
Speaker 4 (01:27):
You call your vagina candy.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
Candy, and he is rock and we make rock candy.
I like it.
Speaker 4 (01:34):
Okay, how long has it.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
Been only for a couple of years?
Speaker 4 (01:39):
How come you never told me?
Speaker 3 (01:40):
I don't know. I don't know why to tell you.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
You know, we have been preparing for this episode, and
never once did you mention rock.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
Candy, Rock candy, Baby Rock. I leave posted notes on
the mirror. Let's make rock candy.
Speaker 4 (01:54):
You're such a good wife.
Speaker 3 (01:57):
Sometimes you are. You are wonderful. Okay, we're talking about
what names I call my vagina? What do you call
your vagina?
Speaker 4 (02:06):
Okay?
Speaker 1 (02:06):
I would say that as I have gone through my
vagina hood that the names for her have changed.
Speaker 4 (02:17):
So I would say in my teens, I was part
of the Kuchie gang.
Speaker 3 (02:22):
I never really liked the word kucci. I don't know
what it is about the word. I just kind of
don't like it.
Speaker 4 (02:27):
I like it, it's funny, it's.
Speaker 3 (02:28):
Not it's not even funny. I don't know. Every time
I hear the word cucci, I think dirty, dirty vagina.
Speaker 4 (02:34):
Well, I used to.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
Like the word until that kid's game Cucie came out Pucie.
Speaker 4 (02:41):
The little caterpillar.
Speaker 3 (02:43):
That name is not Coucie. It's called Cootie. Why would
they name a game Puccie. It's called COOTI.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
I thought it was kucci to maybe not like the
name anymore, Oh my gosh. Okay, well, anyway, Cuchie actually
comes from a film that Thomas Edison did in eighteen
ninety two. There was a dancer called Fatima, and she
did that Fuji Fatima, the Kuchi Couchi dance.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
Cuchi Cuchi coucha.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
And then I would say, as I've gotten older, I
just go with a straight up vagh.
Speaker 3 (03:18):
Come on, really, just bade. You can't think of anything else.
I don't know you have a JJ, at least spice
it up a little bit.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
Do you know who came up with JJ, or at
least who popularized the JJ?
Speaker 3 (03:32):
Facts again, yes, who popularized popularized the JJ?
Speaker 4 (03:36):
Oprah?
Speaker 3 (03:37):
Okay, okay, I'm down with it.
Speaker 4 (03:40):
It's such a vagina visionary.
Speaker 3 (03:43):
I wonder what name she's coming up with next.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
Yees, so she probably doesn't even use the JJ anymore.
She has a whole new vocabulary for it.
Speaker 3 (03:51):
Can't wait to hear what the next word is oh oh.
There was a South Park episode where they pretended to
be Oprah and they call it the Minge Oprah.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
If you are listening, did you tell Soft Park that
you now go by the mine?
Speaker 3 (04:04):
Sure?
Speaker 4 (04:05):
What is it that you are calling her today? Let
us know, because we'll change our entire podcast name.
Speaker 3 (04:10):
Oh no, my min said whata?
Speaker 1 (04:17):
So we conducted some more on the street interviews with every.
Speaker 3 (04:21):
Day Vagina's Dave Vagina.
Speaker 4 (04:23):
We wanted to know from them, what name do you
like your vagina to be called?
Speaker 3 (04:28):
So here, let's hear what they have to say.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
What do you call your vagina?
Speaker 3 (04:34):
I don't really know.
Speaker 4 (04:35):
Oh, I call it my chacha, the jj bojie.
Speaker 3 (04:38):
I think, I say my pepe.
Speaker 4 (04:39):
What do you like to call your vagina? Anything that's
like sweet?
Speaker 3 (04:43):
Are talking about it like being pretty? I don't mind.
Speaker 5 (04:45):
I call it cood. But when I was a kid,
I just thought that was the nastiest. Have you ever
watched Dukes of Hazzard? Yes, okay, the guy who earned
the garage?
Speaker 3 (04:54):
What was his name? Cooter? So why would you call
it cooter?
Speaker 5 (04:58):
I couldn't even watch this show anymore.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
I thought it was so dirty. Ooh Chatcha. I thought
Chatcha was cute.
Speaker 4 (05:06):
No, it's like dancing around.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
I know. I really like this something pretty.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
No, I'm not into that one either. I really related
to Boji of course.
Speaker 3 (05:17):
And peepee, Oh my god, peepee. Really I can't tell
if it's like a you know, a peter or a pepee.
Speaker 4 (05:26):
Well, you do know, you do?
Speaker 3 (05:28):
A peepee could be a peter.
Speaker 4 (05:30):
If I said my peepee, you would know exactly what
I was trying.
Speaker 3 (05:33):
I know it's your peepee, but I can say peepee
to my boys.
Speaker 4 (05:36):
All right, you're right, you're right.
Speaker 3 (05:39):
Cooter, Oh my god, I loved it. That was funny.
Never even heard that before. Have you ever heard cooter?
Speaker 4 (05:47):
Yes, I've heard cooter. I never heard cooters, oh for sure.
Speaker 3 (05:50):
Oh I'm I'm so sheltered.
Speaker 4 (05:53):
So we did some research on other names that are
being used. Okay, what about bearded clam?
Speaker 3 (05:59):
Ow? Do you know that clams actually have beards. It's
like a little furry thing that sticks out of them
when you're like steaming them.
Speaker 4 (06:07):
Oh, I didn't know that.
Speaker 3 (06:08):
I think that they tear them off when you buy
them from a store. But I've gotten a bag of
clams with a bunch of beards on them. Okay, so
I don't want my vagina to be called a bearded clam.
The same I don't really like that, you know each
other one. I really really dislike meat curtain. Meat curtains,
like a picture.
Speaker 4 (06:28):
Is a piece of steak.
Speaker 3 (06:30):
It's gross.
Speaker 4 (06:31):
That is really offensive. What about fur burger?
Speaker 3 (06:35):
Oh, fur burger, that's for a bushy pussy.
Speaker 4 (06:39):
Do you probably like that? What about fish lips?
Speaker 3 (06:46):
Eh, fish with the vagina, that's disgusting.
Speaker 4 (06:50):
No, I agree, nothing food related.
Speaker 3 (06:52):
What about the upright wing? Do you know what that is? No?
You know, like the slit it's a wink sick, that's
not too bad.
Speaker 4 (07:01):
What about straight up muff?
Speaker 3 (07:02):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (07:05):
When I think muff, though, I just think of pubes.
Speaker 3 (07:07):
I do too. I also think of that hamdmore warmer
you had when you were a kid, the muff that
you would stick both hands in.
Speaker 4 (07:16):
Remember probably what it's referring to.
Speaker 3 (07:18):
Take both hands in ill. That's not sick.
Speaker 4 (07:22):
What about French fried dip?
Speaker 3 (07:27):
That would be a fence in, That would be him,
that would be a well, yeah, that's just offensive in general.
It's just too much food. That's too that's gross. That's nasty.
I like beaver ow beaver.
Speaker 4 (07:42):
That's like a grimy, dirty rodent. I know, but it's funny.
You'd probably love it if it was like pink beaver.
Speaker 3 (07:52):
Oh, but it's pink.
Speaker 4 (07:55):
What about hippo's yawn?
Speaker 3 (07:57):
Oh no, not a freaking hippo makes.
Speaker 4 (08:01):
Me feel like a uh specimen.
Speaker 3 (08:04):
Oh my god. Hippos have this thing where their jaws
open up like double huge, you know what I mean,
like really wide. Why would my vagina be compared to
a hippo's yawn? That's disgusting.
Speaker 4 (08:16):
What about honey pot?
Speaker 3 (08:18):
Oh? I like the honey. Honey Pot's not bad, that's
kind of sweet.
Speaker 4 (08:23):
What about nanny?
Speaker 1 (08:25):
I like nanny, but I know somebody who uses nanny
as their name for grandmother.
Speaker 3 (08:31):
I know someone who uses nanny has their nickname. So yeah,
you're right, that probably would not be a good thing. Kitty, oh,
kitty cat.
Speaker 4 (08:41):
It's like, well, that's because you like pussy.
Speaker 3 (08:43):
I like pussy.
Speaker 4 (08:44):
That's why you like kitty.
Speaker 3 (08:45):
Okay, I like kitty. I always call her, you know what,
I used to call her my girl.
Speaker 4 (08:50):
I call her my lady. Yours is so proper.
Speaker 3 (08:55):
My lady. Yeah, mine is my girl and then there's
always the most popular one, the JJ, right right, an
oprah an oprah. But the JJ's easy. My daughter says
the JJ. Actually no, she says something like no no
box or something like that.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
Like because it's box and it's saying no no no
no box, my no noe box.
Speaker 3 (09:23):
Or I think I'm saying it wrong, though I honestly
think I'm saying it wrong, something like a no no
box or a square or something like that. It's from
a song, Oh you know, I don't know. I'm not
cool enough, okay, every.
Speaker 4 (09:34):
Day vaginas who are cooler than we are?
Speaker 3 (09:36):
What is the song that talks about the no no
square cube? Oh, here's a weird one. Poo tang.
Speaker 4 (09:47):
Oh I like poo tang?
Speaker 3 (09:49):
Do you? I do?
Speaker 4 (09:51):
My friends and I growing up called ourselves the poo
Tang clan.
Speaker 3 (09:54):
Have you ever seen the movie Pooty Tang? No, Yeah,
it's a corny movie, but it was kind of funny,
okay tang.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
The term poutang actually has been around since nineteen oh nine.
It comes from the Louisiana French poutine word, which meant
whore poor.
Speaker 4 (10:09):
Do you still like your poute?
Speaker 3 (10:12):
I still like my poutang same, I do do? I
do do? It is odd to me, but we have
maybe three hundred terms for the vagina. Yeah, and we
still don't know it's true anatomy.
Speaker 4 (10:27):
But yeah, that's true. We don't actually know what things
are called down there.
Speaker 3 (10:31):
No, not really, not medically.
Speaker 4 (10:33):
Yeah, right, medically. Thank you for that clarification.
Speaker 3 (10:35):
Okay, So what have you done for us today? All right?
Speaker 4 (10:38):
So I printed out some women's anatomy diagrams.
Speaker 3 (10:42):
Okay, and we are going.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
To test our knowledge and see how many of these
things we can get right.
Speaker 3 (10:49):
Oh my goodness.
Speaker 4 (10:49):
I would like to preface this by saying I set
us up for success.
Speaker 3 (10:54):
Thank you.
Speaker 4 (10:56):
Something that was very basic. Easy. There's only seven vagina
parts that we need to identify, and I already wrote
their names out, so we kind of have this word bank.
So we just need to test.
Speaker 3 (11:09):
Oh, that's going to be easy for me, a word bank,
as long as I have the words, because honestly, if
I had to like come up with the words myself,
there's no telling what I would come up with.
Speaker 4 (11:18):
I know, he flap.
Speaker 3 (11:25):
Love box.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
All right, So while we go tests or not, we
are going to throw the test diagram that we are
taking up on our social.
Speaker 3 (11:34):
Media Instagram, Facebook, and we'll.
Speaker 4 (11:38):
Be right back after this commercial and we'll share the results.
Speaker 3 (11:41):
Push me luck, welcome back, thanks for sticking with us.
So we took this test. Let's hear what the results were.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
You're only saying that eagerly because you did so well.
Speaker 3 (12:02):
I really did. I aced it. You got seven out
of seven, seven out of seven, thank god for the
word bank. And I got four out of seven. Oh
my god, aren't you a college professor?
Speaker 4 (12:14):
Okay? So we had to identify outer labia, inner labia,
clatorus head, vagina, your wreathraw opening, clatorus, and anis. Okay,
I only got four, right?
Speaker 3 (12:29):
What four did you get? Right? Well?
Speaker 1 (12:30):
I nailed anis okay, that's an easing one.
Speaker 4 (12:36):
And I also got youurethral opening. Oh that was good.
Speaker 3 (12:40):
That one was pretty hard.
Speaker 4 (12:41):
Inner labia and outer labia.
Speaker 3 (12:43):
Okay. I switched those around. The inner labia and the
urethral opening. I had switched them around, and then I
changed my answers. Okay, okay, I ended it with a
perfect score.
Speaker 4 (12:53):
I mean I didn't get vagina or clatoris head.
Speaker 3 (12:56):
I don't believe that. I honestly was guessing on some
of these, but I did good.
Speaker 4 (13:03):
Here's the thing.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
In our pilot episode, we told our listeners that we
had vagina authority, and now I feel completely shamed into
saying I have no authority other than to say we
need your help.
Speaker 3 (13:16):
I think I just got my vagina degree. You did,
you did. Although maybe I should start using some of
these terms, like outer labia. That's the lips, right.
Speaker 4 (13:28):
Yes, that's what I've got with my scissors.
Speaker 3 (13:30):
Before God, So maybe I should start saying outer labia
instead of lips.
Speaker 4 (13:34):
I think your man would love that.
Speaker 3 (13:36):
I don't say lips to my man.
Speaker 4 (13:39):
Oh do you say it to me?
Speaker 3 (13:40):
I say it to you.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
I prefer lip, okay, instead of outer labia. That's where
fish lips probably comes from. Oh again with the fish,
I know, I know. So did you know that before
sixteen eighties there wasn't even a medical term for the vagina.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
What what did they call it?
Speaker 4 (14:00):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
But before then, the Latin word vagina was referred to
as a sheath for a sword.
Speaker 3 (14:06):
A vagina was the sheath for the Wow, yeah.
Speaker 4 (14:11):
That's what a vagina was.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
But before any of that, the ancient Greek philosopher Aretaeus.
He believed that the uterus bounced around our body. He
described it as an animal within an animal.
Speaker 3 (14:24):
Wow, that's weird. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
He also believed it caused organ illness as it wandered
around our bodies. And he believed that our animal like vagina,
responded to smell, so you could lure it into place
by offering it fragrance.
Speaker 3 (14:40):
It okay. So he thought the vagina was an animal
because he could not resist it, and he couldn't understand
why he was so drawn to it, that it is
this wild animal with magnetism that he can't control.
Speaker 4 (14:54):
That just hit hard. Chris, that was some deep stuff.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
I wish he could go back and let tell him
about himself. Gullin he was the top medical researcher in
the Roman Empire.
Speaker 4 (15:08):
He thankfully didn't think.
Speaker 1 (15:10):
That our unus was wandering around in our bodies it
as an animal, but he believed that the vagina was
literally an inside out penis.
Speaker 3 (15:19):
Ow.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
He said that if you could imagine shoving all the
man bits from the man's body, the scrotum would be
the uterus, the penis would be the vagina, and the
testicles would be the ober East God.
Speaker 3 (15:30):
These men the things they come up with.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
I know, women doctors would have served us so much
more justice.
Speaker 3 (15:37):
Yeah, but there were probably no women doctors back then, exactly.
There just all men trying to figure out how to
deal with our inside out penises.
Speaker 4 (15:45):
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1 (15:46):
It wasn't until the fifteen hundreds, during the Renaissance that
they were able to peer inside cadavers. And then they
began to publish drawings of genitalia along with other.
Speaker 3 (15:56):
Organs female, genitalia and genit talia, but mostly female because
that one is the most puzzling.
Speaker 4 (16:05):
That's probably true. We see what man's working with.
Speaker 3 (16:08):
Yeah, easily.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
Then I mentioned the vagina gets her name in sixteen eighties.
Then in eighteen forties, James mary On Simms. He's a
physician in Alabama. He began regularly performing surgeries on women.
He basically invented the field of gynecology as we know
it today.
Speaker 4 (16:27):
We also have him to thank for the speculum.
Speaker 3 (16:31):
Thank you. Not to get too deep. His practices were
controversial and came at a great expense to women. Okay,
aren't just something more positive?
Speaker 1 (16:40):
It really wasn't until fifty years ago, in nineteen seventy,
the book Our Bodies Ourselves by Judy Norsigen.
Speaker 3 (16:48):
I read that book? Did you? Oh? Did? I had
a friend who her mother had the book, and we
took the book out of her mother's room. We snuck it,
snuck into another room and read it. I read that book.
Speaker 4 (16:59):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
It was really the first book to give frank information
about women's health and sexuality.
Speaker 3 (17:05):
I would love to see that book again.
Speaker 5 (17:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (17:08):
See what my little twelve year old self figured out?
Speaker 1 (17:11):
Yeah, I mean, how do you care for something that
you can't even barely mention it?
Speaker 3 (17:16):
Well? I think I do a pretty good job taking
care of it, even though I don't know the actual terminology.
Speaker 1 (17:22):
That's true, because you rely on your intuition, right. So, yes,
we've learned a lot more about our bodies. But culture
it continues to influence our vaginas, for example, promoting crazy
ideas like how to get your best summer of vagina?
Speaker 3 (17:38):
Ever, yeah, how do you get your best summer of vagina?
What's the summer of vagina?
Speaker 4 (17:43):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
I picture the summer of vagina as tight, neat, and
all within the bounds of a bikini.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
Oh my god, So what is a winner vagina?
Speaker 1 (17:54):
What?
Speaker 3 (17:54):
I have.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
Yeah, we also get cosmetic procedures and surgeries that are
shoved down our throat to shame us into thinking that
our perfectly normal volvas aren't attractive enough.
Speaker 3 (18:10):
Oh, have you ever heard of that vaginal rejuvenation? Yes,
I've always thought that was interesting.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
Yeah, there's a lot of reasons why people can get rejuvenation.
Some of them are for vanity, and then some of
them are for health reasons.
Speaker 3 (18:26):
Like bladder control.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
Yeah, and then painful sex or excessive dryness.
Speaker 3 (18:33):
It would be cool to have her look like she
did when I was younger. It's like a facelift for
the vagina. It sounds kind of cool.
Speaker 4 (18:41):
How do you know she doesn't look like that?
Speaker 3 (18:42):
Oh I've looked. Oh and after five kids, she is
not looking her best. I'm not happy with the way
she looks right now. I'm not gonna lie, but I'm
very sensitive down there, So I don't think I will
be getting the vaginal rejuvenation surgery.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
Well, for sure, we all know that that would give
you a east infection.
Speaker 3 (19:03):
Oh yeah, absolutely everything gives me a East infection. Well,
I'm ready to rewrite some history on what the vagina
is called and what it looks like because it is,
it is what it is. She is her own self,
in her own glory.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
So before we close out today, we wanted to talk
about the worst terms that our vaginas are called.
Speaker 3 (19:30):
Right. We did ask that question as well to the
everyday vagina and it was unanimous. The cunt word is
pretty much the word every American woman hates to be called.
Speaker 1 (19:44):
That term actually was a street name in London back
in twelve thirty and that street was famous for prostitution.
Speaker 3 (19:55):
Well, the Europeans used the cunt word very freely and openly.
It's not as offensive to them as it is to us.
Speaker 4 (20:02):
I also have a story about that.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
So I was I don't know, ten years old, and
I walked through the dining room and my mom was
sitting at the table feverishly writing.
Speaker 4 (20:12):
And I walked past her and she says stop.
Speaker 1 (20:15):
And I turn around and she said and she's pointing
her finger at me, and she says, don't you ever
call anyone a cunt?
Speaker 3 (20:21):
Oh my god?
Speaker 4 (20:24):
And I never had heard that word.
Speaker 3 (20:26):
Oh, okay, okay, thanks for the lesson.
Speaker 1 (20:29):
Yeah, And I walked away And now I'm picturing in
my mind that someone called her that and she was
writing a letter to a manager or someone.
Speaker 3 (20:38):
It is literally the most offensive word you can call
a woman. If you say that word, you are looking
to get your ass beat on the rail.
Speaker 4 (20:45):
Yeah, you're right, it is asking for a fight.
Speaker 3 (20:50):
So one of the everyday Vagina's had an amazing answer
that we just thought you would love to hear. So
we're going to share that with you. What do you
hate it to be called?
Speaker 5 (21:00):
Well, let me tell you I cannot handle the word cunt.
But worst of all, I hate the word snatch.
Speaker 3 (21:06):
Yeah you know, if you want.
Speaker 5 (21:07):
It, you can take it, but you ain't snatch of nothing.
Speaker 3 (21:09):
Now snatch, I love it. That was hilarious, hilarious. All right,
thanks so much for listening to what our vaginas are saying.
For comments, questions, or to let us know what your
vagina is saying, email us at my vagina Said What
at gmail dot com, Follow us on Instagram at hashtag
(21:32):
my vagina said what, Follow us on Facebook and my
vagina said what. Listen, subscribe and rate us on Seneca Women, iHeartRadio,
or wherever you listen.
Speaker 4 (21:42):
Our vagina knowledge is based solely on our experience as
vagina owners. Please see your doctor if you have any
concerns about your vagina, what
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang
Ding dong! Join your culture consultants, Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, on an unforgettable journey into the beating heart of CULTURE. Alongside sizzling special guests, they GET INTO the hottest pop-culture moments of the day and the formative cultural experiences that turned them into Culturistas. Produced by the Big Money Players Network and iHeartRadio.