March 12, 2025 • 41 mins
This week, S.E. chats with friend, fellow podcast host (The Backroom), filmmaker, and candy-shop owner, Andy Ostroy. Andy has had a pretty wild life, so far. And he shares many unvarnished moments from it in this candid conversation, from his tumultuous childhood, to finding love in New York City after 911, to the shocking death of his young wife, the actor Adrienne Shelly ... and that's just the start of it. Andy and S.E. talk about exploring the darker parts of oneself and finding the light, as Andy did with the Adrienne Shelly Foundation, which supports female filmmakers. There's so much to get into and it's capped with a very sweet lightning round.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
I literally said to myself, I wish this light would
last forever because right now I'm still married, I still
have a wife. Life is great.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Welcome to off the Cup, my personal anti anxiety antidote.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
So I do.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
I do a lot of podcasts, other people's podcasts, and
it's always a treat, especially when the people I'm talking.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
To are already friends.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
But sometimes it happens that I do someone's podcasts enough
times that we become friends through the podcast. And one
person I've really enjoyed talking to on his podcast is
Andy Astroy. He's an entrepreneur, a film and TV producer,
a director, a writer, and as of twenty twenty two,
(00:51):
he is host of the back Room with Andy Astroy podcast,
which I've had the pleasure of doing. I don't know
so many times that I even got a commemor of
robe out of it. And and now we're friends. Andy,
thanks for joining me on my podcast for a change.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Absolutely thanks for having me. I'm just sitting here in
my plush robe now, kid, Yeah, my se cup robe.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
We need to get one of those. We need to
start having those made. Uh, this is a reversal for us.
I'm I'm asking you questions for a change.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
I know life feels so upside down right now.
Speaker 3 (01:27):
In more ways than one, In more ways than one.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
There's there's a lot I want to talk to you about,
but I want to start with your podcast. Why did
you decide a couple of years ago that you wanted
to start interviewing people on a podcast.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
Well, I looked around and I realized there there weren't
and I felt that there weren't enough podcasts. I felt
that the world needed more podcasts. It's like more cow Bell,
we need, we need more podcasts. Well, I've been political
my whole life, and politics was crazy, and I had
(02:02):
built up a decent following on Twitter, and I always
felt that I would use that following as some sort
of audience someday to rant like a lunatic. But I
was actually doing someone else's podcast to promote my film, Adrian,
HBO film Adrian about my late wife. And when I
(02:22):
was done, this was upstate New York, where I have
a home, I asked the guy who runs it, are
you looking for more shows? And he said yes, and literally,
I think six weeks later, I had my first interview.
I had Paul Rudd in the studio here, which was
a lot of fun, and it's been great. I feel
like I am doing what I was born to do.
(02:45):
It took me like sixty two years to get there.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Well, I mean, having done your podcast many times now,
I can tell you you're really good at it.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
I mean, you're really good at it.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
And it's about it's about listening and really getting to
know someone, and you're just you're ech at it. But
you mentioned Paul, you mentioned Adrian, and I want to
talk about Adrian in a bit, But how do you
have so many famous friends?
Speaker 3 (03:07):
Andy?
Speaker 1 (03:09):
Uh, I'm like, I'm I'm like far As Gump. Literally,
that's what I feel like. I feel like my life
is about highs, lows, tragedies, good times, love, heartbreak, insanity,
and like I find myself. I have found myself in
crazy situations. And you know, some people, hopefully most people
(03:33):
kind of flatline through life for the most part, and
then there are others who just it just feels like
life is a roller coaster. And that's what I have
felt like. My life has been almost my whole life,
but especially since two thousand and six when Adrian died,
it's definitely been a roller coaster. And I just kind
of take. You know, I don't even take one day
(03:54):
at a time. I take like one hour at a time,
and I live my life and I enjoy my life.
And I've met a lot of amazing people along the way.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
Yeah, and you, maybe people don't know this about you.
Speaker 3 (04:08):
This is my favorite fact of yours.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
You co own a candy store in upstate New York
with Paul Rudd, Jeffrey de Morgan, and Hillary Burton.
Speaker 3 (04:16):
How did this come to be?
Speaker 2 (04:17):
Not everyone just goes into business with famous people to
open a candy store.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
Well, the famous people want one couple in particular, Jeff
and Hillary. They were very good friends with the owner
of this guy, Ira Gutner, And I think Jeff was
actually shooting a movie up here at one point, I
forget the name of it, and nice nice to go
into the candy store and gone with the wind something
(04:47):
like that, And so he befriended the owner of the store.
And I think the owner kind of helped convince him
and Hillary to move here because they were still living
in LA But my self and Paul and Julie and
their kid, like, we would take our kids in and
each of us had our own little relationship. But Jeff
and Hillary I think really had the strongest relationship. And
(05:09):
then one day, when he was like fifty years old,
I think Ira died of a heart attack, just suddenly.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
And so Jeff was talking with his husband, Iris husband,
not Jeff's husband, and was trying to figure out what's
the next move. And I guess the guy really didn't
give off signals that he cared very much to maintain
the store or and or iris legacy. And Jeff said
(05:37):
something like, don't do anything. Let me talk to some friends.
Maybe we can help. If it's money, if it's like alone,
you guys need whatever you need. And then we were
all having dinner one night at Paul's house, and Jeff said,
they started telling us the story and then literally within
like it must have been eight minutes, it was like,
you guys want to buy a candy store? And I
was like, yeah, sure, why not? Was a no do
(06:00):
you like candy?
Speaker 3 (06:02):
Are you into candy?
Speaker 1 (06:03):
I refuse to answer that question that the crowds that
may incriminate me.
Speaker 3 (06:07):
I don't like candy that much either.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
I do. I love candy. I love all kinds of candy.
I love everything in that store. I eat it every day.
I like chocolate. I'm not really a candy person. I'm
more of a chocolate sweets, so that's what I go
for when I'm in there.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
And I will say if if you go into candy store,
you'll find cookies with your face on them, not mine.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
Uh, the famous people.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
You don't get your own cookie.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
No, but it's a great story. And anyone who's listening
to this, it's really funny. Go google Paul Rudd, Seth
Meyers Samuel's Candy Store, or you can go to samuel
Sweet Shop dot com. I think we have the clip
on there. Paul was going to do Seth Meyers show
one night.
Speaker 4 (06:52):
I did not know this that you are a co
owner of a candy shop.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
Yes, it is not a joke.
Speaker 4 (06:57):
This is not a joke. I am owner of a
candy store called Samuel's Sweet Shop and Ryan Beck New York.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
So Paul comes out on the show with a big
basket of Samuel's goodies and they're talking about the store.
Speaker 4 (07:08):
And I own this candy store with Jeffrey Dean Morgan
who's a fantastic actor, great actor, plays Nagan on the
blocking Dad Yeah, and another guy named Andy Astroy.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
And he had cookies made with my face, and the
running giant is that I'm the other guy. That's actually
what I call myself, the other guy.
Speaker 4 (07:27):
And then there's Andy, who you can see he's not
really famous, he's just the other guy.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
Okay, go over there, Ye all right. Paul takes out
one of the other guy cookies and he goes, we
have these cookies made like my cookie face Rice Chrispy's
with Jeff's face and all that, but we also have Andy's,
but they don't sell very well.
Speaker 4 (07:49):
So I brought you a bunch of Andy's.
Speaker 5 (07:53):
Yeah, and.
Speaker 4 (07:58):
You could tell here give it a shot, Andy, listen.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
And then he takes a bite of it and like
chucks it into the audience and it's like, here have
an Andy, and it was it's it's the funniest clip.
And it was really I think the only time there's
ever been a cookie or a Rice Krispy tree with
my mug on it.
Speaker 3 (08:25):
So where did you grow up?
Speaker 1 (08:27):
I grew up in far Rockaway, Queens, right on the beach. Literally,
the beach was my view out of our window. Great
place to grow up.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
What did you want to be when you grew up?
Speaker 1 (08:37):
Out of my house? Away from my family. That was it.
I had very few dreams. I just wanted to get away.
That was it. I you know, not to get heavy,
but no, there was some verbal abuse in my house,
and I wasn't made to feel very early in my
(08:58):
life that I was wow, very worthy, very worthwhile. And
so it took me many years to figure out that
whatever it was that they were telling me I was,
I'm not. And so that was a journey that took
me maybe eighteen nineteen years, because that's kind of when
(09:19):
I got out of the house when I was around eighteen.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
Do you think that growing up like that maybe prepared
you for a kind of roller coaster life where you
have to just kind of you don't know what's coming
around every corner and you're just kind of waiting for
whatever's about to happen.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
Totally, I mean my life, I mean it's incredible. I
don't wear a neck brace because my head is constantly
looking up at the sky waiting for the next shoe
to drop. Yeah, so it's you know, but I take
the good with the bad, and you know, I have
a good life. I have a great life.
Speaker 3 (09:59):
But I how you but how'd you get to this?
Speaker 2 (10:01):
Because I didn't grew up in an abusive family, but
I grew up with a lot of constant change. Like
the only constant in my life was change. Some of
it was good, some of it was not good change,
But I was always waiting for the next thing to happen.
And it created a very anxious young person and now
(10:24):
a very anxious adult. And I'm always in sort of
a fight or flight mode. And that's, as my therapist
tells me, not very healthy. How did you get to
a place where you're just sort of okay with whatever's
coming around the corner and not anxiously poised for, like me,
(10:46):
the worst thing to happen.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
Well, that's a really good question, and I have kind
of a simple answer, and that is that I'm just lucky.
I feel like we're all born with stuff, with tools. Yeah,
some have more tools than others. Some have a lot
more tools. Unfortunately, some people don't have any tools, right,
And I was born with a lot of tools. And
(11:11):
once I kind of was able to move beyond the
grip of what I was in and realized who I was,
I realized in a way I kind of had like superpowers.
That's that's kind of how I look at it, and
then of course in two thousand and six, I walked
in and found my wife murdered, and so from that
point forward, it's like, what else can life throw with
(11:32):
me that I can't handle? You know, So in a way,
you know, there is I try to find a silver
lining and everything, and even with Adrian's murder, the silver
lining was that it was very liberating for me in
a way. I never sweat the small stuff anymore, and
I sweated everything prioritize. I don't have anxiety. I just
(11:57):
feel like I feel like I can kick the ass
of whatever comes my way. But I had to go
through something incredibly horrific to get there. Fortunately, most people
don't have to do don't have to experience it the
way I did, you know, But that's the short answers.
I don't feel like I did anything. I just feel
(12:18):
like I just looked in the mirror like Stuart Smally,
and I was like, I'm worthy, I can do this,
and yeah, gosh, darn it, you know people like me.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
Yeah, yeah, well let's yeah, let's get into.
Speaker 3 (12:31):
Let's get into Adrian.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
I don't know if I ever told you this, but
when you first had me on your podcast, I had
just watched a true crime episodic about Adrian Shelley. And
for those who don't know, she was an actress or
writer a director. She wrote, directed, and starred in Waitress,
which later became a Broadway show. As you said, she
was brutally murdered in her apartment building in New York
(12:54):
City in two thousand and six, and the story was
so heart wrenching that it really stuck with me. Like
two days later, I got on your pot and I
had no idea when we first talked that she was
your late wife. I only made that connection after we talked.
So take me, take me back.
Speaker 3 (13:11):
How did you and Adrian meet?
Speaker 1 (13:14):
We met on match dot com a week after nine
to eleven, which is wow, something she never wanted to
say publicly. But and I've later found out in my
life that she told many people, many different stories about
how we met, and they all conflict, and I don't
think she kept track of who she told what too.
(13:36):
I was like, we met at a I always sit
with people and be like, didn't you meet it a
fundrais or political front? I'm like, what, so, uh? Nine
to eleven hit And like a lot of people, she
was sort of reassessing her life. You know, she was
single and involved on and off with all these like
alcoholic actors, narcissists, and like, she was like, I gotta
(13:59):
just meet like a regular guy, a non actor, but
I don't know how to do that, you know, it's
all that's my world. And then nine to eleven hit
and she was like, fuck it, I have to just
do it now, and so she went on match dot Com.
And then I was sort of ending along a relationship
that summer, and I, you know, I had kids, so
I was like, and I never really went to bars whenever.
(14:21):
I was like, Okay, I'll go online just meet people
and have some fun whatever. And we met right away
and like a week later, took down our profiles and
like three weeks later I knew I was getting married.
Speaker 3 (14:33):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
It was just one of those things. And it was
like on match dot com we used to joke that
they should make a commercial about us, oh, and she said, no,
they shouldn't. They can, but you'll be in it by yourself.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
Oh that's really nice. So that was That was two
thousand and one. So you guys were together for about
five years until she passed.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
Five years we got married a year after we met,
and in two thousand and four our daughter, Sophie was
born in February. And then Sophie was not even three
when Adrian was killed.
Speaker 3 (15:12):
So take me to that day.
Speaker 1 (15:16):
It was a It started off like a great day
because I usually would get in my office like seven o'clock,
but we were waiting for actually a handyman to come
down from Rhymebeck to do some work because we were
going to put our apartment on the market move up
to the Upper West Side eventually, so I stuck around
the house. I was there till about nine fifteen, and
she was heading to where her office was, which used
(15:40):
to be her apartment. So she had lived and worked
in this place on Abington Square in Granwich Village for
like fifteen years. And I said, okay, I'll give you
a ride, and so we got to spend a nice
morning together, the three of us, and then I drove her,
dropped her off and then literally could not reach her
the entire day. And I don't know how it is
(16:01):
with you and John, but like a lot of couples,
they communicate during the day emails and texts whatever, and
there was just nothing and phone had a busy signal.
My cell phone. The landline had a busy signal, because
back in those days, she connected to AOL through landline
(16:22):
and cell wasn't picking up nothing, and AOL you could
tell when someone opens an email, so I could see
that emails weren't even open. But I was busy at
a client in from out of town, and like every
hour and a half, I would be like, where is she?
What's going on? And then finally by early afternoon I
started to get really nervous. And then like by around three,
(16:45):
I just I got like a sick premonition. I knew
something was very wrong. And then so I called the nanny.
His Asian would always call the nanny at like four
o'clock or so and say, you know, just to let
her know what is she coming home early? She can
be home soon. And nanny said, I haven't heard from her.
(17:05):
And then so I was supposed to do. I was
a friend and I were doing this public access TV show,
I could talk show. We would have Mark Marin and
all kinds of people on politics. It was the early
version of the back Room and it was way uptown
by Time Warner Studios. And I said to him we
have to go down just at the check on adri
and just to make sure before we go uptown. And
(17:28):
that's what I found her. But on the way, I'll
just never forget the feeling of impending doom. I knew
without any question that she was dead. Oh my god,
because nothing made sense. There was no I had told myself, Oh,
she met a friend, they went for lunch, herself, battery died.
(17:49):
It was all like just bullshit. In my head. I
knew this was not normal. And that ride, which was
ten minutes from my office to her building, was like
the longest ride. And I remember standing at the light
right by Hudson Street, and I think it was tenth
and I was about to turn right, and I was
(18:09):
waiting at that light, and I literally said to myself,
I wish this light would last forever, because right now
I'm still married. I still have a wife. Life is great,
but that's all gonna change. And literally, when I went
to the building, pulled up to the bus stop, my
friend Brian stayed in the car. I got out of
the car. I walked about three or four feet and
he later told me that I turned around and I
(18:32):
opened the door and I looked at him and I said,
I'm going in that building now. My life's about to
change forever.
Speaker 3 (18:37):
You don't remember saying that.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
No, And five minutes later I called him and said
get up here, Adrian's dead, and he freaked the fuck out.
I imagine being that guy I a would say to him,
you know, and he's in my film. Brian Delayed, good
friend of mine, worked with me for many years. I
always wonder like, what was that, like, you know, like, yeah,
I told that, and then like then the guy walks away.
(18:59):
Then literally minutes later, you're getting a phone call that
she's actually dead. Yeah, And it's just the craziest, most
random thing ever. I mean, the odds of something happened
to someone like that. It was like five hundred murders
a year in New York City, and most of them
are crimes of passion, so innocent people. It might be
(19:21):
ten literally. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:24):
Well, and you had the added awfulness of her murderer
first being called a suicide by police, but you knew
that it wasn't. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (19:34):
Well, when I went up to her apartment, I immediately
knew something was off, Like you can you can tell
when there's like an evil presence in a room, Yeah,
and I felt that and so then I just walked
from room to room and I remember thinking to myself,
I'm going to find her dad. I just don't know
in what condition. And that really freaked me out because
(19:59):
I I didn't know. And then I found her, you know,
a staged, a poorly staged suicide. And my first thought
was that she was researching some kind of role and
she did something stupid. You know that, because I kept
bat I was just screaming, what did you do? What
(20:20):
did you do? What did you do? Murder made no sense,
Suicide made no sense. So there was just something in
the middle that maybe made some sense. And then you know,
the next several days, it was all about suicide. It
was just that's it. He killed herself in the front
page of the York Post and mean, it was all
(20:41):
blown up in the tabloids, and I knew that was
just it was just impossible. It was impossible. Now, cops.
You know, I've I've sat with the detectives, I've made
friends with some of them. Like they say, you know,
every family says the same thing, every spouse says the
same thing, because you don't want to feel like you
failed that person. You don't want to feel guilty. Was
there something I can do? But I guess I was
(21:04):
convincing enough to these guys in a way. You know.
They also went on TV. I was, you know, I've
been a media savvy person my whole life, so I
know how to manipulate the media from my own ends.
Speaker 4 (21:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
And she died on a Wednesday night, and I remember
by Friday, at around noon, I called the sixth Precinct
in the West Village and I said, what's going on
with the case? Can I speak to Detective so and
so whatever, who's handling it?
Speaker 3 (21:28):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (21:29):
He went home for the weekend. I said, well, give
me somebody else's working the case. And I said, there's
really nobody work in the case as far as we're concerned.
You know, I know you don't hear this, but it's
a suicide. And I and then I went into like
a panic because it was the weekend was coming. You know,
the big city people get murdered all the time. She's
just going to be swept under the rug and that's it.
(21:49):
They move on, Life moves on. And SO called my
friend Dan Catcher, best friend who communications pro and he
you know, I said, we got to do something. We
gotta do something as big than the front page of
the New York Post. So he called Eyewitness News and
gave them an exclusive to put me on the air
like as soon as the news opened up at like
(22:09):
eleven PM. And he said, all you're gonna say is
your wife didn't kill herself. There's evidence. The New York
City Police Department is the best police department in the world,
and they're going to find the guy who killed her.
That's it, period. Don't stray from that. And that's what
I did, and everything changed. The next morning, got a
(22:31):
call from Manhattan South Homicide. It just it was like
everything changed. And then there's some other stories that I've
been told that you know, I guess I believe them,
but it's just stuff that went on behind the scenes
with connected people who stepped in to put heatback on
this because in a way, like I met with the
(22:53):
reporter many years later and he said that story was done,
it was gone. And then you and I interviewed at
one o'clock Friday, and the heat just came back like
in a blaze. And I've always felt guilty over the
years because I was reasonably media savvy, reasonably connected. I
was a you know, more affluent white dude than some
(23:15):
people who don't have anything and don't have connections. And
I always wondered, like, what if it was just some
bus driver you just literally had to be at work
the next day and just that was it. Yeah, mommy's
mommy killed herself and life moves on. And but you know,
when you're in that combat mode and you're it's like
you're fighting for survival on someone's legacy, you use whatever
you have. And again I just felt fortunate that I had.
(23:38):
I had my own tools, and I had people and
resources that I could try to tap. Look, the media
is free. You could be a bus driver and call
it by with this news. Yeah, and if your story
is important enough, which most are, because they'll they cover
fires like they'll cover anything. Back in the day, I
would speak to victims crime victims groups and just tell
them just you know, when your person gone, you have
(24:00):
to fight for them, right, use anything you can. And
the media is often ready and able and willing to help. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
Well, and then later you made a documentary called Adrian,
which premiered in twenty twenty one.
Speaker 3 (24:13):
What was it like to.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
In a way revisit that. I'm sure it never leaves you.
So it's not like you, you know, rediscovered this awful moment.
But what was it like to work on this so
many years later.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
Well, it was a range of emotions. It was the obvious.
I mean, I went back down into the abyss, the
emotional abyss, but I also interviewed a ton of people
and I learned a lot about her. And my daughter,
Sophie came with me in a lot of the shoots
and she got to sit and listen to people talk
about her mom, and which was the whole point of it.
You know, when people get killed, especially in a well
(24:51):
known case, if they have some degree of fame, it's
like they just their legacy becomes murder victim. And yeah,
oftentimes people don't know who the person, who the human
being was, and so that was one of my reasons
for doing the film was to tell the world who
she was, but also to find out what really happened
(25:12):
that day, because the killer lied a couple of times,
once at his confession and once at his sentencing, and
I needed to know what happened. You know, there are
a lot of people that are like, you know it happened.
I don't need to know, I've moved forward whatever. Yeah,
I need to know, like, how did this amazing person
get taken off of this planet? Why is my daughter motherless?
(25:33):
That has to be some logical answer, and the ones
he gave they weren't truthful, and so that was reason
too for making the film. But you know, the film
itself was a rollercoaster. It was four years out of
my life. And there were periods, maybe almost a year,
where I would just sit and watch all the archival
(25:55):
footage that I had found, So I would sit all
day long and re is it her life, our life,
her life with Sophie, our life with Sophie. And it
was just like a sledgehammer to the heart. So that
that but I knew that it would it would take
me back, but then I knew that I would get
(26:18):
out of it again. So that kept me like, Okay,
you're just it's like, you know, you join the service,
you go to boot camp for eight ten weeks, but
then it's over. Like, yeah, I knew it was going
to be hell, but I knew it would be over.
And then I knew I'd have this in this film
that or I hoped i'd have this film that I
set out to make with a specific vision, and I
wanted it to be good and I wanted it to
(26:38):
do her justice and be a gift for my daughter
and the family. And so it was. It was like
climbing Mount Everest. It's going to be a blizzard, You're
probably gonna get sick, you may die like, but then
then you're gonna be up there and then you could
say you did it, you know. So that's that's what
it was like for me. It wasn't cathartic. People have
asked me like it was a cathartic, but it wasn't.
(26:59):
It was gratifying. I had a goal, I achieved it,
and it's something I never did before. Yeah, and now
it's out there and it's there forever. This is not
(27:24):
the same.
Speaker 2 (27:25):
But I'm working on a book right now in my
mental health. And my first two books were on politics
and very easy to write. In fact, I wrote one
in six weeks because I'm fast. But this is about myself,
and it's about the darkest parts of myself, the hardest
parts of myself.
Speaker 3 (27:42):
And it is not.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
Cathartic to visit this stuff, but it is gratifying every
thousand words I get on paper every story I tell,
and I can't wait to get to the end of it.
Speaker 3 (27:56):
But it's really really hard to.
Speaker 2 (27:58):
Do because when I feel good, I don't want to
think about my mental.
Speaker 3 (28:02):
Health and write about it.
Speaker 2 (28:03):
So, you know, days weeks go by where I'm not
doing it because I don't want to live in it,
you know that day. But I know that when I'm
through it, and when I have a product that is
that is my story to share with other people, that
I will feel really good about it. Again, not cathartic
(28:24):
like you said. It's not that it's actually awful. It's
awful to live in this and write about it and
think about it and you know, relive every awful emotion,
but gratifying to do so I can relate a little again,
not the same.
Speaker 3 (28:42):
You have since founded the Adrian Shelley Foundation.
Speaker 1 (28:44):
What does that do? Our mission is to support women filmmakers,
and we've given out probably around one hundred and ten
production grants so far since two thousand and seven, including
people like Chloe Jao who made No Medland and won
an Oscar for Best Director for that a few years ago.
We gave her a grant in twenty twelve when she
(29:05):
was making short films and working on her first feature.
We partner with academic and filmmaking institutions like Columbia University,
the American Film Institute. We worked with NYU for a while.
We kind of mix up the colleges every few years,
but ifp Antucket Film Festival, Sundance Film Festivals, we have
(29:27):
about twelve you know, Rooftop Films, which is just like
this cool little Brooklyn based festival that shows only short films,
and once a year we give out a grant to
someone in each of those partner programs and it's been great,
you know. It's the grants are usually five thousand dollars,
(29:48):
so they're not small, and it's just another way of
building and expanding Adrian's legacy because there has to be again,
has to be some silver lining, otherwise it's just horrible, stored.
Speaker 2 (30:04):
Right, senseless. Well, I want to thank you for sharing that.
I know you've shared it before, but I want to
thank you for sharing it with me, And I want
to switch gears a little bit.
Speaker 3 (30:14):
You're you're very engaged in politics.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
If people you know go on your Instagram or listen
to your podcast, you're very very into the news.
Speaker 3 (30:23):
How much news do you watch in a day?
Speaker 1 (30:25):
How many hours are there in the day. I won't
say that I watch a lot of news, but news.
Speaker 3 (30:33):
Oh thanks, thanks, thanks a lot. You're the reason. You're
the reason our business is dying.
Speaker 1 (30:39):
It's always on. So it's background music. Some you know,
some people will play jazz, I play se cup.
Speaker 3 (30:48):
No, I know, you mean that's what I do too.
I just have it on all the time.
Speaker 1 (30:52):
Yeah, because i mean, let's face it, the news cycle
is insane. There's something it's insane, wild and wacky, like
every ten minutes, and so yeah, I tell myself all
the time, like, you know, you could just check Twitter
every hour and you'll get the same, but it's not
the same. You know. I always love those people who
are like I get my news from Twitter. You know,
(31:14):
you got to wade through the cesspool that is Twitter
to get the stuff you want. And so when I'm working,
because you know, like last week, I did five interviews
and so I'm constantly prepping, I'm constantly researching, and so
I just I just have it on and it just
gives me that foundational knowledge that I need to have
(31:34):
a semi intelligent conversation. Yeah, with someone about this stuff.
You know, so, but I do, quote unquote watch it
a lot, but it's kind of I feel like, you know,
that's what I do now, So I have to.
Speaker 2 (31:47):
Who's been your favorite podcast guests so far? And I'll
I'll take myself out of the running, so you don't
even have to deal with.
Speaker 1 (31:54):
That, right. Well, I was gonna say, so, Okay, that's good, No,
who's been your favorite guest? You know? There because we're
politics and pop culture, but mostly politics, but every once
in a while I get to treat myself a little
bit with somebody from my past who's so important to
me in my life. But it's hard to say that
(32:18):
it's favorite, but it's more like just an episode that
I really really enjoyed on some different level. It wasn't like,
you know, talking about Trump whatever. I recently interviewed Pete Best,
who's the original drummer of the Beatles. I saw that.
Speaker 3 (32:32):
I saw that on Instagram. I was so jealous.
Speaker 1 (32:34):
That was like an hour of just goosebumps, totally literal goosebumps.
And I also interviewed Danny Bonaducci. Okay, Cartridge Family kind
of like a right wing area might even be a Trumper.
But the guy is so funny, and we had this
crazy chemistry and we had such a good time. All
(32:57):
we did was laugh. He's so quick and like, but
this is somebody I've been watching since I'm a little kid. Yeah.
So when I get to talk with people like that,
and they don't have to be terribly famous, like Danny Bonaducci,
I mean, he'll be the first to tell you he's
Danny Bonaducci. Yeah, he's not Brad Pitt. But it's just
someone who is like part of my own DNA at
(33:19):
this point, you know, someone that's been in my life
in some crazy cultural way for fifty years or whatever, yeah,
or more. And so stuff like that. Peter Frampton I
interviewed I Peter Frampton, Oh my god. And then in
the political world, you know, I always have fun talking
to people like Rick Wilson and you and you know,
(33:42):
I find it really fascinating to talk to former Republicans
or Conservatives or never Trumpers, because there's a there's a
whole perspective there that's really important. I Mean, I spent
years going why can't we fight like they fight. Now
I get to talk to Rick Wilson, I'm like, okay, right,
you know, and it's like, you know, it's like they
(34:04):
fight differently and then they're fighting on our side. It's great.
And the first time I had Rick Wilson on, I
was like, it's like Nicky Haley was the nominee. You'd
be going right back, wouldn't you, Like there would be
no more like we love Lincoln frustry like all the Dems,
we would be there. And I said, and you should,
you know, no one expects people like that, Stuart Stevens,
(34:25):
all those guys to be liberals or Democrats all in
the same boat because we're we're fighting for democracy.
Speaker 2 (34:32):
But some people do because I come up against this
a lot, and some people are like, why wouldn't you
just vote for Democrats?
Speaker 1 (34:38):
Now?
Speaker 2 (34:39):
Your party is so terrible? And agree, the party is terrible,
but locally the party's not terrible. Locally, Republicans in my
town are normal. They care about normal things like cutting taxes, right.
Speaker 1 (34:51):
So it's not and even social stuff like abortion and
gun reform, like the lines of blurred were, well, there's
issues that sort of bring us together as people.
Speaker 2 (35:01):
Yeah, and I think, I mean, I hope to be
a Republican again, but you know, I don't see that
happening anytime soon, because they've jettisoned the part that matters the.
Speaker 3 (35:11):
Most to me, the conservatism.
Speaker 2 (35:13):
No one is running on conservatism in either party anywhere anymore.
Speaker 3 (35:17):
So it's just gone. It's dormant.
Speaker 2 (35:19):
I hope it returns, but so for all intents and purposes,
now I see myself as sort of an independent, and
I'll vote for anyone who I think is normal and
sane and well intentioned. I might not like your policy solutions,
but the well intentioned part has become so important to me.
Speaker 1 (35:37):
Isn't that kind of crazy that now we want to
pick our politicians by if they're normal and sane. It's
wild like it's not about policy anymore. It's just like sanity.
That's all I want is sanity.
Speaker 2 (35:49):
All I did growing up, I don't mean as a kid,
but growing up as a conservative was talk about conservative
policies and the conservative canon and people.
Speaker 3 (35:58):
Like Ayek and to Tokville. And no one cares about
that anymore. I don't think Marjorie Taylor Green knows who
any of those people are.
Speaker 2 (36:05):
Couldn't identify a single conservative policy, and so we're sort
of in the wilderness and yes, now we're just talking
about Okay, who's saying who's normal?
Speaker 3 (36:15):
Who can I vote for that is just a normal person.
It's wild.
Speaker 1 (36:20):
It is wild because the Republican Party has been co
opted by a sociopath and they're all in a cult.
It's a cult of personality. And I don't know if,
I don't know how or when you can get that back.
I hope it gets back. I hope there's a room
for people like you to you know, we're a two
party country and we should have two parties. But both
(36:42):
parties used to be you meet at the Shore and
the National Defense and all that and write, you know,
bad Russia, like so goll upside down. Now it's like
we prefer Putin to you know, oh, Ukraine.
Speaker 3 (36:54):
And it's it's nuts for a Reagan Conservative. Shit is crazy.
Speaker 1 (37:00):
But I mean the January sixth thing, that to me
was when the party really jumped the shark. Yeah, because
it's like, there are this video of people beating the
ship out of cops.
Speaker 3 (37:11):
So you're carrying crosses, carrying crosses.
Speaker 1 (37:14):
Not the Party of faith, You're not the Party of
law and order. You're you're you're the Party of insurrection.
That's its own it say it.
Speaker 2 (37:20):
You know, all right, you're getting my blood pressure up again.
And this is meant to do the opposite. Andy, this
is meant to do the opposite. Okay, I want to
do a lightning round. Sure, what's the worst candy ever?
Speaker 1 (37:38):
Candy corn?
Speaker 2 (37:40):
That's a good answer. It's not the correct answer. The
correct answer is circus peanuts. But I like I like
candy corn, as are he nuts?
Speaker 4 (37:47):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (37:47):
Best, especially when you're eating them and watching like elephants
stand on each other like in a row.
Speaker 3 (37:55):
Now, okay, next question, And who is someone you'd like
to interview but you haven't yet?
Speaker 1 (38:03):
Paul McCartney, Oh, tream big?
Speaker 3 (38:07):
Why not start big?
Speaker 1 (38:08):
Barack Obama? Okay, Hillary Clinton? If you're out there, ladies.
Speaker 3 (38:14):
And gents, manifest it. Manifest it.
Speaker 1 (38:16):
My schedule's open.
Speaker 3 (38:19):
Put it on the vision board.
Speaker 1 (38:21):
I like it.
Speaker 3 (38:22):
I like it. Okay, Next question, City or Upstate?
Speaker 1 (38:28):
Mm? Both?
Speaker 3 (38:31):
I know you live in both worlds, but let's say
you had to pick one.
Speaker 1 (38:37):
I might have to go with upstate.
Speaker 3 (38:39):
So when would you see George old?
Speaker 1 (38:42):
I'm old now like like a garage turns me on,
like used to be like young hot women walking around
and Lincoln center. That was my thing. Like now it's like,
give me, give me a fenced in thing for my
dog and a garage, an automatic garage door opener. That's
what turns me on. Now I'm with you, man, I'm
with you.
Speaker 3 (39:02):
Uh okay. What's your favorite place to vacation?
Speaker 1 (39:06):
Rome or Paris? Oh?
Speaker 3 (39:08):
Two good ones, two good ones. Okay. And besides your
late wife, who's your favorite actor?
Speaker 1 (39:15):
Robert de Niro?
Speaker 3 (39:17):
Oh? Oh, we talked about Robert de Niro. I remember
this thing we did, talked about him when he came
about him.
Speaker 1 (39:25):
It was to Narrow we talked. We were on during
De naro Quaid Week.
Speaker 3 (39:30):
That was a week.
Speaker 1 (39:30):
So that was a week like infrastructure a week. It
was to naro Quaid week. I think Bobby d One.
I gotta say Bobby d One.
Speaker 2 (39:38):
Next question, this one's very important. It's important to me.
It's part of my culture. When is iced coffee.
Speaker 1 (39:44):
Season, I have no idea. I don't drink coffee.
Speaker 3 (39:48):
Okay. The correct answer is year round. It's year round.
Speaker 1 (39:53):
All the days I wouldn't know I dropped out of coffee,
like thirty years ago.
Speaker 2 (39:57):
Oh my god, Well, you didn't grow up in the
land of Duncan Donuts in Massachusetts, where I had a
dunk in my high school. Okay, it is by religion.
Speaker 1 (40:05):
I know my daughter lives in Massachusetts. That's all we
do is go to Duncan. It's like a Duncan on
every every.
Speaker 2 (40:12):
You must, you must, it is religion. Andy Ostroy, thank
you so much for joining me on Off the Cup.
Speaker 3 (40:22):
I really appreciate it. It's always so fun to talk
to you. This was fun.
Speaker 1 (40:25):
Thanks for having me.
Speaker 2 (40:28):
Coming up next week. I talked to celebrity chef Ming Si.
Speaker 5 (40:32):
It sounds cliche, but we literally made dumplings together. Weally
out in the kitchen. I literally, as soon as I
could walk, would be in the kitchen because I like
the smell, the sound, these scraps of food that grandparents
are parents would.
Speaker 1 (40:44):
Hand to me.
Speaker 2 (40:46):
Off the Cup is a production of iHeart Podcasts as
part of the Recent Choice Network. I'm your host Si Cupp.
Editing and sound designed by Derek Clements. Our executive producers
are Messie Cup, Lauren Hanson, and Lindsay Hoffman.
Speaker 3 (40:58):
If you like Off the Cup, please rate
Speaker 2 (41:00):
And review wherever you get your podcasts, follow or subscribe
for new episodes every Wednesday,
I literally said to myself, I wish this light would
last forever because right now I'm still married, I still
have a wife. Life is great.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Welcome to off the Cup, my personal anti anxiety antidote.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
So I do.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
I do a lot of podcasts, other people's podcasts, and
it's always a treat, especially when the people I'm talking.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
To are already friends.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
But sometimes it happens that I do someone's podcasts enough
times that we become friends through the podcast. And one
person I've really enjoyed talking to on his podcast is
Andy Astroy. He's an entrepreneur, a film and TV producer,
a director, a writer, and as of twenty twenty two,
(00:51):
he is host of the back Room with Andy Astroy podcast,
which I've had the pleasure of doing. I don't know
so many times that I even got a commemor of
robe out of it. And and now we're friends. Andy,
thanks for joining me on my podcast for a change.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Absolutely thanks for having me. I'm just sitting here in
my plush robe now, kid, Yeah, my se cup robe.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
We need to get one of those. We need to
start having those made. Uh, this is a reversal for us.
I'm I'm asking you questions for a change.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
I know life feels so upside down right now.
Speaker 3 (01:27):
In more ways than one, In more ways than one.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
There's there's a lot I want to talk to you about,
but I want to start with your podcast. Why did
you decide a couple of years ago that you wanted
to start interviewing people on a podcast.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
Well, I looked around and I realized there there weren't
and I felt that there weren't enough podcasts. I felt
that the world needed more podcasts. It's like more cow Bell,
we need, we need more podcasts. Well, I've been political
my whole life, and politics was crazy, and I had
(02:02):
built up a decent following on Twitter, and I always
felt that I would use that following as some sort
of audience someday to rant like a lunatic. But I
was actually doing someone else's podcast to promote my film, Adrian,
HBO film Adrian about my late wife. And when I
(02:22):
was done, this was upstate New York, where I have
a home, I asked the guy who runs it, are
you looking for more shows? And he said yes, and literally,
I think six weeks later, I had my first interview.
I had Paul Rudd in the studio here, which was
a lot of fun, and it's been great. I feel
like I am doing what I was born to do.
(02:45):
It took me like sixty two years to get there.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Well, I mean, having done your podcast many times now,
I can tell you you're really good at it.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
I mean, you're really good at it.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
And it's about it's about listening and really getting to
know someone, and you're just you're ech at it. But
you mentioned Paul, you mentioned Adrian, and I want to
talk about Adrian in a bit, But how do you
have so many famous friends?
Speaker 3 (03:07):
Andy?
Speaker 1 (03:09):
Uh, I'm like, I'm I'm like far As Gump. Literally,
that's what I feel like. I feel like my life
is about highs, lows, tragedies, good times, love, heartbreak, insanity,
and like I find myself. I have found myself in
crazy situations. And you know, some people, hopefully most people
(03:33):
kind of flatline through life for the most part, and
then there are others who just it just feels like
life is a roller coaster. And that's what I have
felt like. My life has been almost my whole life,
but especially since two thousand and six when Adrian died,
it's definitely been a roller coaster. And I just kind
of take. You know, I don't even take one day
(03:54):
at a time. I take like one hour at a time,
and I live my life and I enjoy my life.
And I've met a lot of amazing people along the way.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
Yeah, and you, maybe people don't know this about you.
Speaker 3 (04:08):
This is my favorite fact of yours.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
You co own a candy store in upstate New York
with Paul Rudd, Jeffrey de Morgan, and Hillary Burton.
Speaker 3 (04:16):
How did this come to be?
Speaker 2 (04:17):
Not everyone just goes into business with famous people to
open a candy store.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
Well, the famous people want one couple in particular, Jeff
and Hillary. They were very good friends with the owner
of this guy, Ira Gutner, And I think Jeff was
actually shooting a movie up here at one point, I
forget the name of it, and nice nice to go
into the candy store and gone with the wind something
(04:47):
like that, And so he befriended the owner of the store.
And I think the owner kind of helped convince him
and Hillary to move here because they were still living
in LA But my self and Paul and Julie and
their kid, like, we would take our kids in and
each of us had our own little relationship. But Jeff
and Hillary I think really had the strongest relationship. And
(05:09):
then one day, when he was like fifty years old,
I think Ira died of a heart attack, just suddenly.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
And so Jeff was talking with his husband, Iris husband,
not Jeff's husband, and was trying to figure out what's
the next move. And I guess the guy really didn't
give off signals that he cared very much to maintain
the store or and or iris legacy. And Jeff said
(05:37):
something like, don't do anything. Let me talk to some friends.
Maybe we can help. If it's money, if it's like alone,
you guys need whatever you need. And then we were
all having dinner one night at Paul's house, and Jeff said,
they started telling us the story and then literally within
like it must have been eight minutes, it was like,
you guys want to buy a candy store? And I
was like, yeah, sure, why not? Was a no do
(06:00):
you like candy?
Speaker 3 (06:02):
Are you into candy?
Speaker 1 (06:03):
I refuse to answer that question that the crowds that
may incriminate me.
Speaker 3 (06:07):
I don't like candy that much either.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
I do. I love candy. I love all kinds of candy.
I love everything in that store. I eat it every day.
I like chocolate. I'm not really a candy person. I'm
more of a chocolate sweets, so that's what I go
for when I'm in there.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
And I will say if if you go into candy store,
you'll find cookies with your face on them, not mine.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
Uh, the famous people.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
You don't get your own cookie.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
No, but it's a great story. And anyone who's listening
to this, it's really funny. Go google Paul Rudd, Seth
Meyers Samuel's Candy Store, or you can go to samuel
Sweet Shop dot com. I think we have the clip
on there. Paul was going to do Seth Meyers show
one night.
Speaker 4 (06:52):
I did not know this that you are a co
owner of a candy shop.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
Yes, it is not a joke.
Speaker 4 (06:57):
This is not a joke. I am owner of a
candy store called Samuel's Sweet Shop and Ryan Beck New York.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
So Paul comes out on the show with a big
basket of Samuel's goodies and they're talking about the store.
Speaker 4 (07:08):
And I own this candy store with Jeffrey Dean Morgan
who's a fantastic actor, great actor, plays Nagan on the
blocking Dad Yeah, and another guy named Andy Astroy.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
And he had cookies made with my face, and the
running giant is that I'm the other guy. That's actually
what I call myself, the other guy.
Speaker 4 (07:27):
And then there's Andy, who you can see he's not
really famous, he's just the other guy.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
Okay, go over there, Ye all right. Paul takes out
one of the other guy cookies and he goes, we
have these cookies made like my cookie face Rice Chrispy's
with Jeff's face and all that, but we also have Andy's,
but they don't sell very well.
Speaker 4 (07:49):
So I brought you a bunch of Andy's.
Speaker 5 (07:53):
Yeah, and.
Speaker 4 (07:58):
You could tell here give it a shot, Andy, listen.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
And then he takes a bite of it and like
chucks it into the audience and it's like, here have
an Andy, and it was it's it's the funniest clip.
And it was really I think the only time there's
ever been a cookie or a Rice Krispy tree with
my mug on it.
Speaker 3 (08:25):
So where did you grow up?
Speaker 1 (08:27):
I grew up in far Rockaway, Queens, right on the beach. Literally,
the beach was my view out of our window. Great
place to grow up.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
What did you want to be when you grew up?
Speaker 1 (08:37):
Out of my house? Away from my family. That was it.
I had very few dreams. I just wanted to get away.
That was it. I you know, not to get heavy,
but no, there was some verbal abuse in my house,
and I wasn't made to feel very early in my
(08:58):
life that I was wow, very worthy, very worthwhile. And
so it took me many years to figure out that
whatever it was that they were telling me I was,
I'm not. And so that was a journey that took
me maybe eighteen nineteen years, because that's kind of when
(09:19):
I got out of the house when I was around eighteen.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
Do you think that growing up like that maybe prepared
you for a kind of roller coaster life where you
have to just kind of you don't know what's coming
around every corner and you're just kind of waiting for
whatever's about to happen.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
Totally, I mean my life, I mean it's incredible. I
don't wear a neck brace because my head is constantly
looking up at the sky waiting for the next shoe
to drop. Yeah, so it's you know, but I take
the good with the bad, and you know, I have
a good life. I have a great life.
Speaker 3 (09:59):
But I how you but how'd you get to this?
Speaker 2 (10:01):
Because I didn't grew up in an abusive family, but
I grew up with a lot of constant change. Like
the only constant in my life was change. Some of
it was good, some of it was not good change,
But I was always waiting for the next thing to happen.
And it created a very anxious young person and now
(10:24):
a very anxious adult. And I'm always in sort of
a fight or flight mode. And that's, as my therapist
tells me, not very healthy. How did you get to
a place where you're just sort of okay with whatever's
coming around the corner and not anxiously poised for, like me,
(10:46):
the worst thing to happen.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
Well, that's a really good question, and I have kind
of a simple answer, and that is that I'm just lucky.
I feel like we're all born with stuff, with tools. Yeah,
some have more tools than others. Some have a lot
more tools. Unfortunately, some people don't have any tools, right,
And I was born with a lot of tools. And
(11:11):
once I kind of was able to move beyond the
grip of what I was in and realized who I was,
I realized in a way I kind of had like superpowers.
That's that's kind of how I look at it, and
then of course in two thousand and six, I walked
in and found my wife murdered, and so from that
point forward, it's like, what else can life throw with
(11:32):
me that I can't handle? You know, So in a way,
you know, there is I try to find a silver
lining and everything, and even with Adrian's murder, the silver
lining was that it was very liberating for me in
a way. I never sweat the small stuff anymore, and
I sweated everything prioritize. I don't have anxiety. I just
(11:57):
feel like I feel like I can kick the ass
of whatever comes my way. But I had to go
through something incredibly horrific to get there. Fortunately, most people
don't have to do don't have to experience it the
way I did, you know, But that's the short answers.
I don't feel like I did anything. I just feel
(12:18):
like I just looked in the mirror like Stuart Smally,
and I was like, I'm worthy, I can do this,
and yeah, gosh, darn it, you know people like me.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
Yeah, yeah, well let's yeah, let's get into.
Speaker 3 (12:31):
Let's get into Adrian.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
I don't know if I ever told you this, but
when you first had me on your podcast, I had
just watched a true crime episodic about Adrian Shelley. And
for those who don't know, she was an actress or
writer a director. She wrote, directed, and starred in Waitress,
which later became a Broadway show. As you said, she
was brutally murdered in her apartment building in New York
(12:54):
City in two thousand and six, and the story was
so heart wrenching that it really stuck with me. Like
two days later, I got on your pot and I
had no idea when we first talked that she was
your late wife. I only made that connection after we talked.
So take me, take me back.
Speaker 3 (13:11):
How did you and Adrian meet?
Speaker 1 (13:14):
We met on match dot com a week after nine
to eleven, which is wow, something she never wanted to
say publicly. But and I've later found out in my
life that she told many people, many different stories about
how we met, and they all conflict, and I don't
think she kept track of who she told what too.
(13:36):
I was like, we met at a I always sit
with people and be like, didn't you meet it a
fundrais or political front? I'm like, what, so, uh? Nine
to eleven hit And like a lot of people, she
was sort of reassessing her life. You know, she was
single and involved on and off with all these like
alcoholic actors, narcissists, and like, she was like, I gotta
(13:59):
just meet like a regular guy, a non actor, but
I don't know how to do that, you know, it's
all that's my world. And then nine to eleven hit
and she was like, fuck it, I have to just
do it now, and so she went on match dot Com.
And then I was sort of ending along a relationship
that summer, and I, you know, I had kids, so
I was like, and I never really went to bars whenever.
(14:21):
I was like, Okay, I'll go online just meet people
and have some fun whatever. And we met right away
and like a week later, took down our profiles and
like three weeks later I knew I was getting married.
Speaker 3 (14:33):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
It was just one of those things. And it was
like on match dot com we used to joke that
they should make a commercial about us, oh, and she said, no,
they shouldn't. They can, but you'll be in it by yourself.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
Oh that's really nice. So that was That was two
thousand and one. So you guys were together for about
five years until she passed.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
Five years we got married a year after we met,
and in two thousand and four our daughter, Sophie was
born in February. And then Sophie was not even three
when Adrian was killed.
Speaker 3 (15:12):
So take me to that day.
Speaker 1 (15:16):
It was a It started off like a great day
because I usually would get in my office like seven o'clock,
but we were waiting for actually a handyman to come
down from Rhymebeck to do some work because we were
going to put our apartment on the market move up
to the Upper West Side eventually, so I stuck around
the house. I was there till about nine fifteen, and
she was heading to where her office was, which used
(15:40):
to be her apartment. So she had lived and worked
in this place on Abington Square in Granwich Village for
like fifteen years. And I said, okay, I'll give you
a ride, and so we got to spend a nice
morning together, the three of us, and then I drove her,
dropped her off and then literally could not reach her
the entire day. And I don't know how it is
(16:01):
with you and John, but like a lot of couples,
they communicate during the day emails and texts whatever, and
there was just nothing and phone had a busy signal.
My cell phone. The landline had a busy signal, because
back in those days, she connected to AOL through landline
(16:22):
and cell wasn't picking up nothing, and AOL you could
tell when someone opens an email, so I could see
that emails weren't even open. But I was busy at
a client in from out of town, and like every
hour and a half, I would be like, where is she?
What's going on? And then finally by early afternoon I
started to get really nervous. And then like by around three,
(16:45):
I just I got like a sick premonition. I knew
something was very wrong. And then so I called the nanny.
His Asian would always call the nanny at like four
o'clock or so and say, you know, just to let
her know what is she coming home early? She can
be home soon. And nanny said, I haven't heard from her.
(17:05):
And then so I was supposed to do. I was
a friend and I were doing this public access TV show,
I could talk show. We would have Mark Marin and
all kinds of people on politics. It was the early
version of the back Room and it was way uptown
by Time Warner Studios. And I said to him we
have to go down just at the check on adri
and just to make sure before we go uptown. And
(17:28):
that's what I found her. But on the way, I'll
just never forget the feeling of impending doom. I knew
without any question that she was dead. Oh my god,
because nothing made sense. There was no I had told myself, Oh,
she met a friend, they went for lunch, herself, battery died.
(17:49):
It was all like just bullshit. In my head. I
knew this was not normal. And that ride, which was
ten minutes from my office to her building, was like
the longest ride. And I remember standing at the light
right by Hudson Street, and I think it was tenth
and I was about to turn right, and I was
(18:09):
waiting at that light, and I literally said to myself,
I wish this light would last forever, because right now
I'm still married. I still have a wife. Life is great,
but that's all gonna change. And literally, when I went
to the building, pulled up to the bus stop, my
friend Brian stayed in the car. I got out of
the car. I walked about three or four feet and
he later told me that I turned around and I
(18:32):
opened the door and I looked at him and I said,
I'm going in that building now. My life's about to
change forever.
Speaker 3 (18:37):
You don't remember saying that.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
No, And five minutes later I called him and said
get up here, Adrian's dead, and he freaked the fuck out.
I imagine being that guy I a would say to him,
you know, and he's in my film. Brian Delayed, good
friend of mine, worked with me for many years. I
always wonder like, what was that, like, you know, like, yeah,
I told that, and then like then the guy walks away.
(18:59):
Then literally minutes later, you're getting a phone call that
she's actually dead. Yeah, And it's just the craziest, most
random thing ever. I mean, the odds of something happened
to someone like that. It was like five hundred murders
a year in New York City, and most of them
are crimes of passion, so innocent people. It might be
(19:21):
ten literally. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:24):
Well, and you had the added awfulness of her murderer
first being called a suicide by police, but you knew
that it wasn't. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (19:34):
Well, when I went up to her apartment, I immediately
knew something was off, Like you can you can tell
when there's like an evil presence in a room, Yeah,
and I felt that and so then I just walked
from room to room and I remember thinking to myself,
I'm going to find her dad. I just don't know
in what condition. And that really freaked me out because
(19:59):
I I didn't know. And then I found her, you know,
a staged, a poorly staged suicide. And my first thought
was that she was researching some kind of role and
she did something stupid. You know that, because I kept
bat I was just screaming, what did you do? What
(20:20):
did you do? What did you do? Murder made no sense,
Suicide made no sense. So there was just something in
the middle that maybe made some sense. And then you know,
the next several days, it was all about suicide. It
was just that's it. He killed herself in the front
page of the York Post and mean, it was all
(20:41):
blown up in the tabloids, and I knew that was
just it was just impossible. It was impossible. Now, cops.
You know, I've I've sat with the detectives, I've made
friends with some of them. Like they say, you know,
every family says the same thing, every spouse says the
same thing, because you don't want to feel like you
failed that person. You don't want to feel guilty. Was
there something I can do? But I guess I was
(21:04):
convincing enough to these guys in a way. You know.
They also went on TV. I was, you know, I've
been a media savvy person my whole life, so I
know how to manipulate the media from my own ends.
Speaker 4 (21:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
And she died on a Wednesday night, and I remember
by Friday, at around noon, I called the sixth Precinct
in the West Village and I said, what's going on
with the case? Can I speak to Detective so and
so whatever, who's handling it?
Speaker 3 (21:28):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (21:29):
He went home for the weekend. I said, well, give
me somebody else's working the case. And I said, there's
really nobody work in the case as far as we're concerned.
You know, I know you don't hear this, but it's
a suicide. And I and then I went into like
a panic because it was the weekend was coming. You know,
the big city people get murdered all the time. She's
just going to be swept under the rug and that's it.
(21:49):
They move on, Life moves on. And SO called my
friend Dan Catcher, best friend who communications pro and he
you know, I said, we got to do something. We
gotta do something as big than the front page of
the New York Post. So he called Eyewitness News and
gave them an exclusive to put me on the air
like as soon as the news opened up at like
(22:09):
eleven PM. And he said, all you're gonna say is
your wife didn't kill herself. There's evidence. The New York
City Police Department is the best police department in the world,
and they're going to find the guy who killed her.
That's it, period. Don't stray from that. And that's what
I did, and everything changed. The next morning, got a
(22:31):
call from Manhattan South Homicide. It just it was like
everything changed. And then there's some other stories that I've
been told that you know, I guess I believe them,
but it's just stuff that went on behind the scenes
with connected people who stepped in to put heatback on
this because in a way, like I met with the
(22:53):
reporter many years later and he said that story was done,
it was gone. And then you and I interviewed at
one o'clock Friday, and the heat just came back like
in a blaze. And I've always felt guilty over the
years because I was reasonably media savvy, reasonably connected. I
was a you know, more affluent white dude than some
(23:15):
people who don't have anything and don't have connections. And
I always wondered, like, what if it was just some
bus driver you just literally had to be at work
the next day and just that was it. Yeah, mommy's
mommy killed herself and life moves on. And but you know,
when you're in that combat mode and you're it's like
you're fighting for survival on someone's legacy, you use whatever
you have. And again I just felt fortunate that I had.
(23:38):
I had my own tools, and I had people and
resources that I could try to tap. Look, the media
is free. You could be a bus driver and call
it by with this news. Yeah, and if your story
is important enough, which most are, because they'll they cover
fires like they'll cover anything. Back in the day, I
would speak to victims crime victims groups and just tell
them just you know, when your person gone, you have
(24:00):
to fight for them, right, use anything you can. And
the media is often ready and able and willing to help. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
Well, and then later you made a documentary called Adrian,
which premiered in twenty twenty one.
Speaker 3 (24:13):
What was it like to.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
In a way revisit that. I'm sure it never leaves you.
So it's not like you, you know, rediscovered this awful moment.
But what was it like to work on this so
many years later.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
Well, it was a range of emotions. It was the obvious.
I mean, I went back down into the abyss, the
emotional abyss, but I also interviewed a ton of people
and I learned a lot about her. And my daughter,
Sophie came with me in a lot of the shoots
and she got to sit and listen to people talk
about her mom, and which was the whole point of it.
You know, when people get killed, especially in a well
(24:51):
known case, if they have some degree of fame, it's
like they just their legacy becomes murder victim. And yeah,
oftentimes people don't know who the person, who the human
being was, and so that was one of my reasons
for doing the film was to tell the world who
she was, but also to find out what really happened
(25:12):
that day, because the killer lied a couple of times,
once at his confession and once at his sentencing, and
I needed to know what happened. You know, there are
a lot of people that are like, you know it happened.
I don't need to know, I've moved forward whatever. Yeah,
I need to know, like, how did this amazing person
get taken off of this planet? Why is my daughter motherless?
(25:33):
That has to be some logical answer, and the ones
he gave they weren't truthful, and so that was reason
too for making the film. But you know, the film
itself was a rollercoaster. It was four years out of
my life. And there were periods, maybe almost a year,
where I would just sit and watch all the archival
(25:55):
footage that I had found, So I would sit all
day long and re is it her life, our life,
her life with Sophie, our life with Sophie. And it
was just like a sledgehammer to the heart. So that
that but I knew that it would it would take
me back, but then I knew that I would get
(26:18):
out of it again. So that kept me like, Okay,
you're just it's like, you know, you join the service,
you go to boot camp for eight ten weeks, but
then it's over. Like, yeah, I knew it was going
to be hell, but I knew it would be over.
And then I knew I'd have this in this film
that or I hoped i'd have this film that I
set out to make with a specific vision, and I
wanted it to be good and I wanted it to
(26:38):
do her justice and be a gift for my daughter
and the family. And so it was. It was like
climbing Mount Everest. It's going to be a blizzard, You're
probably gonna get sick, you may die like, but then
then you're gonna be up there and then you could
say you did it, you know. So that's that's what
it was like for me. It wasn't cathartic. People have
asked me like it was a cathartic, but it wasn't.
(26:59):
It was gratifying. I had a goal, I achieved it,
and it's something I never did before. Yeah, and now
it's out there and it's there forever. This is not
(27:24):
the same.
Speaker 2 (27:25):
But I'm working on a book right now in my
mental health. And my first two books were on politics
and very easy to write. In fact, I wrote one
in six weeks because I'm fast. But this is about myself,
and it's about the darkest parts of myself, the hardest
parts of myself.
Speaker 3 (27:42):
And it is not.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
Cathartic to visit this stuff, but it is gratifying every
thousand words I get on paper every story I tell,
and I can't wait to get to the end of it.
Speaker 3 (27:56):
But it's really really hard to.
Speaker 2 (27:58):
Do because when I feel good, I don't want to
think about my mental.
Speaker 3 (28:02):
Health and write about it.
Speaker 2 (28:03):
So, you know, days weeks go by where I'm not
doing it because I don't want to live in it,
you know that day. But I know that when I'm
through it, and when I have a product that is
that is my story to share with other people, that
I will feel really good about it. Again, not cathartic
(28:24):
like you said. It's not that it's actually awful. It's
awful to live in this and write about it and
think about it and you know, relive every awful emotion,
but gratifying to do so I can relate a little again,
not the same.
Speaker 3 (28:42):
You have since founded the Adrian Shelley Foundation.
Speaker 1 (28:44):
What does that do? Our mission is to support women filmmakers,
and we've given out probably around one hundred and ten
production grants so far since two thousand and seven, including
people like Chloe Jao who made No Medland and won
an Oscar for Best Director for that a few years ago.
We gave her a grant in twenty twelve when she
(29:05):
was making short films and working on her first feature.
We partner with academic and filmmaking institutions like Columbia University,
the American Film Institute. We worked with NYU for a while.
We kind of mix up the colleges every few years,
but ifp Antucket Film Festival, Sundance Film Festivals, we have
(29:27):
about twelve you know, Rooftop Films, which is just like
this cool little Brooklyn based festival that shows only short films,
and once a year we give out a grant to
someone in each of those partner programs and it's been great,
you know. It's the grants are usually five thousand dollars,
(29:48):
so they're not small, and it's just another way of
building and expanding Adrian's legacy because there has to be again,
has to be some silver lining, otherwise it's just horrible, stored.
Speaker 2 (30:04):
Right, senseless. Well, I want to thank you for sharing that.
I know you've shared it before, but I want to
thank you for sharing it with me, And I want
to switch gears a little bit.
Speaker 3 (30:14):
You're you're very engaged in politics.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
If people you know go on your Instagram or listen
to your podcast, you're very very into the news.
Speaker 3 (30:23):
How much news do you watch in a day?
Speaker 1 (30:25):
How many hours are there in the day. I won't
say that I watch a lot of news, but news.
Speaker 3 (30:33):
Oh thanks, thanks, thanks a lot. You're the reason. You're
the reason our business is dying.
Speaker 1 (30:39):
It's always on. So it's background music. Some you know,
some people will play jazz, I play se cup.
Speaker 3 (30:48):
No, I know, you mean that's what I do too.
I just have it on all the time.
Speaker 1 (30:52):
Yeah, because i mean, let's face it, the news cycle
is insane. There's something it's insane, wild and wacky, like
every ten minutes, and so yeah, I tell myself all
the time, like, you know, you could just check Twitter
every hour and you'll get the same, but it's not
the same. You know. I always love those people who
are like I get my news from Twitter. You know,
(31:14):
you got to wade through the cesspool that is Twitter
to get the stuff you want. And so when I'm working,
because you know, like last week, I did five interviews
and so I'm constantly prepping, I'm constantly researching, and so
I just I just have it on and it just
gives me that foundational knowledge that I need to have
(31:34):
a semi intelligent conversation. Yeah, with someone about this stuff.
You know, so, but I do, quote unquote watch it
a lot, but it's kind of I feel like, you know,
that's what I do now, So I have to.
Speaker 2 (31:47):
Who's been your favorite podcast guests so far? And I'll
I'll take myself out of the running, so you don't
even have to deal with.
Speaker 1 (31:54):
That, right. Well, I was gonna say, so, Okay, that's good, No,
who's been your favorite guest? You know? There because we're
politics and pop culture, but mostly politics, but every once
in a while I get to treat myself a little
bit with somebody from my past who's so important to
me in my life. But it's hard to say that
(32:18):
it's favorite, but it's more like just an episode that
I really really enjoyed on some different level. It wasn't like,
you know, talking about Trump whatever. I recently interviewed Pete Best,
who's the original drummer of the Beatles. I saw that.
Speaker 3 (32:32):
I saw that on Instagram. I was so jealous.
Speaker 1 (32:34):
That was like an hour of just goosebumps, totally literal goosebumps.
And I also interviewed Danny Bonaducci. Okay, Cartridge Family kind
of like a right wing area might even be a Trumper.
But the guy is so funny, and we had this
crazy chemistry and we had such a good time. All
(32:57):
we did was laugh. He's so quick and like, but
this is somebody I've been watching since I'm a little kid. Yeah.
So when I get to talk with people like that,
and they don't have to be terribly famous, like Danny Bonaducci,
I mean, he'll be the first to tell you he's
Danny Bonaducci. Yeah, he's not Brad Pitt. But it's just
someone who is like part of my own DNA at
(33:19):
this point, you know, someone that's been in my life
in some crazy cultural way for fifty years or whatever, yeah,
or more. And so stuff like that. Peter Frampton I
interviewed I Peter Frampton, Oh my god. And then in
the political world, you know, I always have fun talking
to people like Rick Wilson and you and you know,
(33:42):
I find it really fascinating to talk to former Republicans
or Conservatives or never Trumpers, because there's a there's a
whole perspective there that's really important. I Mean, I spent
years going why can't we fight like they fight. Now
I get to talk to Rick Wilson, I'm like, okay, right,
you know, and it's like, you know, it's like they
(34:04):
fight differently and then they're fighting on our side. It's great.
And the first time I had Rick Wilson on, I
was like, it's like Nicky Haley was the nominee. You'd
be going right back, wouldn't you, Like there would be
no more like we love Lincoln frustry like all the Dems,
we would be there. And I said, and you should,
you know, no one expects people like that, Stuart Stevens,
(34:25):
all those guys to be liberals or Democrats all in
the same boat because we're we're fighting for democracy.
Speaker 2 (34:32):
But some people do because I come up against this
a lot, and some people are like, why wouldn't you
just vote for Democrats?
Speaker 1 (34:38):
Now?
Speaker 2 (34:39):
Your party is so terrible? And agree, the party is terrible,
but locally the party's not terrible. Locally, Republicans in my
town are normal. They care about normal things like cutting taxes, right.
Speaker 1 (34:51):
So it's not and even social stuff like abortion and
gun reform, like the lines of blurred were, well, there's
issues that sort of bring us together as people.
Speaker 2 (35:01):
Yeah, and I think, I mean, I hope to be
a Republican again, but you know, I don't see that
happening anytime soon, because they've jettisoned the part that matters the.
Speaker 3 (35:11):
Most to me, the conservatism.
Speaker 2 (35:13):
No one is running on conservatism in either party anywhere anymore.
Speaker 3 (35:17):
So it's just gone. It's dormant.
Speaker 2 (35:19):
I hope it returns, but so for all intents and purposes,
now I see myself as sort of an independent, and
I'll vote for anyone who I think is normal and
sane and well intentioned. I might not like your policy solutions,
but the well intentioned part has become so important to me.
Speaker 1 (35:37):
Isn't that kind of crazy that now we want to
pick our politicians by if they're normal and sane. It's
wild like it's not about policy anymore. It's just like sanity.
That's all I want is sanity.
Speaker 2 (35:49):
All I did growing up, I don't mean as a kid,
but growing up as a conservative was talk about conservative
policies and the conservative canon and people.
Speaker 3 (35:58):
Like Ayek and to Tokville. And no one cares about
that anymore. I don't think Marjorie Taylor Green knows who
any of those people are.
Speaker 2 (36:05):
Couldn't identify a single conservative policy, and so we're sort
of in the wilderness and yes, now we're just talking
about Okay, who's saying who's normal?
Speaker 3 (36:15):
Who can I vote for that is just a normal person.
It's wild.
Speaker 1 (36:20):
It is wild because the Republican Party has been co
opted by a sociopath and they're all in a cult.
It's a cult of personality. And I don't know if,
I don't know how or when you can get that back.
I hope it gets back. I hope there's a room
for people like you to you know, we're a two
party country and we should have two parties. But both
(36:42):
parties used to be you meet at the Shore and
the National Defense and all that and write, you know,
bad Russia, like so goll upside down. Now it's like
we prefer Putin to you know, oh, Ukraine.
Speaker 3 (36:54):
And it's it's nuts for a Reagan Conservative. Shit is crazy.
Speaker 1 (37:00):
But I mean the January sixth thing, that to me
was when the party really jumped the shark. Yeah, because
it's like, there are this video of people beating the
ship out of cops.
Speaker 3 (37:11):
So you're carrying crosses, carrying crosses.
Speaker 1 (37:14):
Not the Party of faith, You're not the Party of
law and order. You're you're you're the Party of insurrection.
That's its own it say it.
Speaker 2 (37:20):
You know, all right, you're getting my blood pressure up again.
And this is meant to do the opposite. Andy, this
is meant to do the opposite. Okay, I want to
do a lightning round. Sure, what's the worst candy ever?
Speaker 1 (37:38):
Candy corn?
Speaker 2 (37:40):
That's a good answer. It's not the correct answer. The
correct answer is circus peanuts. But I like I like
candy corn, as are he nuts?
Speaker 4 (37:47):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (37:47):
Best, especially when you're eating them and watching like elephants
stand on each other like in a row.
Speaker 3 (37:55):
Now, okay, next question, And who is someone you'd like
to interview but you haven't yet?
Speaker 1 (38:03):
Paul McCartney, Oh, tream big?
Speaker 3 (38:07):
Why not start big?
Speaker 1 (38:08):
Barack Obama? Okay, Hillary Clinton? If you're out there, ladies.
Speaker 3 (38:14):
And gents, manifest it. Manifest it.
Speaker 1 (38:16):
My schedule's open.
Speaker 3 (38:19):
Put it on the vision board.
Speaker 1 (38:21):
I like it.
Speaker 3 (38:22):
I like it. Okay, Next question, City or Upstate?
Speaker 1 (38:28):
Mm? Both?
Speaker 3 (38:31):
I know you live in both worlds, but let's say
you had to pick one.
Speaker 1 (38:37):
I might have to go with upstate.
Speaker 3 (38:39):
So when would you see George old?
Speaker 1 (38:42):
I'm old now like like a garage turns me on,
like used to be like young hot women walking around
and Lincoln center. That was my thing. Like now it's like,
give me, give me a fenced in thing for my
dog and a garage, an automatic garage door opener. That's
what turns me on. Now I'm with you, man, I'm
with you.
Speaker 3 (39:02):
Uh okay. What's your favorite place to vacation?
Speaker 1 (39:06):
Rome or Paris? Oh?
Speaker 3 (39:08):
Two good ones, two good ones. Okay. And besides your
late wife, who's your favorite actor?
Speaker 1 (39:15):
Robert de Niro?
Speaker 3 (39:17):
Oh? Oh, we talked about Robert de Niro. I remember
this thing we did, talked about him when he came
about him.
Speaker 1 (39:25):
It was to Narrow we talked. We were on during
De naro Quaid Week.
Speaker 3 (39:30):
That was a week.
Speaker 1 (39:30):
So that was a week like infrastructure a week. It
was to naro Quaid week. I think Bobby d One.
I gotta say Bobby d One.
Speaker 2 (39:38):
Next question, this one's very important. It's important to me.
It's part of my culture. When is iced coffee.
Speaker 1 (39:44):
Season, I have no idea. I don't drink coffee.
Speaker 3 (39:48):
Okay. The correct answer is year round. It's year round.
Speaker 1 (39:53):
All the days I wouldn't know I dropped out of coffee,
like thirty years ago.
Speaker 2 (39:57):
Oh my god, Well, you didn't grow up in the
land of Duncan Donuts in Massachusetts, where I had a
dunk in my high school. Okay, it is by religion.
Speaker 1 (40:05):
I know my daughter lives in Massachusetts. That's all we
do is go to Duncan. It's like a Duncan on
every every.
Speaker 2 (40:12):
You must, you must, it is religion. Andy Ostroy, thank
you so much for joining me on Off the Cup.
Speaker 3 (40:22):
I really appreciate it. It's always so fun to talk
to you. This was fun.
Speaker 1 (40:25):
Thanks for having me.
Speaker 2 (40:28):
Coming up next week. I talked to celebrity chef Ming Si.
Speaker 5 (40:32):
It sounds cliche, but we literally made dumplings together. Weally
out in the kitchen. I literally, as soon as I
could walk, would be in the kitchen because I like
the smell, the sound, these scraps of food that grandparents
are parents would.
Speaker 1 (40:44):
Hand to me.
Speaker 2 (40:46):
Off the Cup is a production of iHeart Podcasts as
part of the Recent Choice Network. I'm your host Si Cupp.
Editing and sound designed by Derek Clements. Our executive producers
are Messie Cup, Lauren Hanson, and Lindsay Hoffman.
Speaker 3 (40:58):
If you like Off the Cup, please rate
Speaker 2 (41:00):
And review wherever you get your podcasts, follow or subscribe
for new episodes every Wednesday,
Host
S.E. Cupp
Popular Podcasts
The Breakfast Club
The World's Most Dangerous Morning Show, The Breakfast Club, With DJ Envy And Charlamagne Tha God!
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Decisions, Decisions
Welcome to "Decisions, Decisions," the podcast where boundaries are pushed, and conversations get candid! Join your favorite hosts, Mandii B and WeezyWTF, as they dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often-taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love. Every Monday, Mandii and Weezy invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. With a blend of humor, vulnerability, and authenticity, they share their personal journeys navigating their 30s, tackling the complexities of modern relationships, and engaging in thought-provoking discussions that challenge societal expectations. From groundbreaking interviews with diverse guests to relatable stories that resonate with your experiences, "Decisions, Decisions" is your go-to source for open dialogue about what it truly means to love and connect in today's world. Get ready to reshape your understanding of relationships and embrace the freedom of authentic connections—tune in and join the conversation!