I just found out my wife’s pregnant…but now she’s telling me the baby’s her affair partner’s! | Reddit Stories - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is John, this is Sam your og Okay Storytime
podcast hosts.

Speaker 2 (00:04):
We have some spectacular stories coming up, but real quick,
we got a two minute break from our lovely sponsors
keeping this ship sailing.

Speaker 3 (00:12):
I just found out my wife's pregnant. But now she's
telling me the baby's her affair partners.

Speaker 1 (00:17):
At least she's honest about it.

Speaker 3 (00:19):
It depends on how long it took her to say.
My wife confessed to the affair about a week after
telling me she was pregnant, So, you know, a week
i'd spent excited about what I thought was going to
be my child. Oh turns out no, it was an
emotionally pretty traumatic time. I might have been able to
work through the infidelity, but made the ultimatum that she

(00:40):
had to end the pregnancy. She was philosophically opposed to
terminating the baby, and I knew this. She stuck to
her morals in that particular instance, and so I initiated
a divorce. She has since married her affair partner. Wow, Okay,
that blew up so quickly. By the way, this comes
from Burner explosions on the art Slade Okay Storytime subread.

Speaker 1 (01:01):
At so a lot of twist and turns immediately. I
don't know what to think is the good guy in
the situation?

Speaker 3 (01:08):
I know regarding custody of our sons, there was a
period of more conflict and resistance. I took the boys
in the initial period of Max's infancy, and in the
initial highly emotional, injured state I was in. I sought
full permanent custody, but I wasn't likely to be successful,
and I was eventually persuaded that, despite the breakdown of
my relationship with her, that it's in my son's best

(01:29):
interest to have their mother in their lives. Today, to
the amazement of everyone else in my life, my ex
and I remain co operating partners in the parenthood of
our children. For the last two years, we've shared week
to week custody of her two sons. This upcoming school year,
Max is going to be old enough to attend the
same school. About a month ago, I got sat down

(01:50):
by my ex or partner and all three boys, and
they all want Max to travel back and forth with
the boys each week and effectively live with me fifty
percent of the time. Seriously, Okay, so they're basically saying
the ex is saying the son that is not yours.
I want you to also watch him with the kids
that are ours.

Speaker 1 (02:10):
I mean, that's I feel like that's kind of fair.

Speaker 3 (02:12):
I kind of like he's saying it like it's like
this crazy thing, which I kind of get because he's like, oh,
it's not my son. But I also understand why the
boys would want to stick together.

Speaker 1 (02:20):
Yeah, it's your your your children's half brother.

Speaker 3 (02:24):
There are some arguments for it. Admittedly, the three boys
are friends and brothers. As much as I resent it out,
splitting them up regularly does seem like a weird sibling
dynamic that could have poor consequences. I'm angry with my
ex for broaching the topic with the boys before me.
That's crazy of her, But it's also entirely reasonable thing
for the boys to have an opinion on. I agreed.

(02:44):
What was I supposed to say?

Speaker 2 (02:46):
No?

Speaker 1 (02:46):
Why not?

Speaker 3 (02:47):
I can't say because I hate that Max exists. So
I said, okay, I do hate him.

Speaker 1 (02:52):
Oh no, dude, no no no no no no no
no no, no, you can't do that.

Speaker 3 (02:56):
I do think this man needs to go to therapy.

Speaker 1 (02:58):
Yeah, man, that kid did not.

Speaker 3 (03:00):
Yeah, she's just a kid.

Speaker 2 (03:02):
I know.

Speaker 3 (03:02):
He doesn't deserve to be hated. I know he's no
more responsible for the circumstances of his conception than any
of us, but knowing that doesn't seem to matter. He's
a walking, talking reminder of all the worst emotions that
I've ever felt. I'm coming to an end of a
second week staying with us and the boys. We have
moved him into my home and made space for him.
I hate the sound of his voice. If he needs

(03:23):
help in the kitchen, I am immediately annoyed with no
good reason. I'm constantly angered by his limitations, limitations that
are entirely in line with being.

Speaker 1 (03:31):
A five year old.

Speaker 3 (03:32):
Things I would never get angry with my sons over
I've short tempered and just energized with this useless, visceral anger.
There is a little bit more to this story, But pausing,
I think if he truly hates this kid, then he
should not be looking after him.

Speaker 1 (03:48):
That's a fair point.

Speaker 3 (03:49):
I honestly think it's more detrimental like to this five
year old to have a person who hates you uh
look after you than you know, not being able to
see his brothers.

Speaker 1 (04:01):
But how do you tell that to the parents, Be like,
I can't look after your kid. I hate, I hate,
a burning passion of a thousand sucks.

Speaker 3 (04:08):
I think he just needs to say, like, I can't
look after your kid anymore, sorry, something like he doesn't
necessarily have to be so honest about him. Yeah, but
I don't think he should be looking after a child's.

Speaker 1 (04:17):
Away though that this is like he's like, this is abnormal,
Like I should not be this upset with the kids,
But I spet a therapy for that exactly. That's like
a you would be better than beef for the five
year olds. Yeah, you need to untangle. Yeah, clearly, like
not not unjustified because you had a wife who cheated
on you as a kid with another person, Like that's

(04:40):
messed up.

Speaker 3 (04:41):
I feel like the last years of my life have
been a carousel of familiations and degradations. The only way
I've been able to keep everything together is constantly repeating
to myself the pragmatic argument that no matter how authentic
my grievances are, and no matter how justified I am
in my anger, it doesn't help me or my sons
for me to devolve into an embittered rage. Hermit, What

(05:03):
a sentence.

Speaker 1 (05:04):
He's so self aware that he's like, I don't want
to be the embittered rage hermit, so that's not gonna
helpe any body.

Speaker 3 (05:10):
Just hold my tongue, breathe deep, and force myself to
do the things that will actually help. So I remain
in regular contact with their mother, and I talk to
her politely on the topics that I have to. Since
recognizing that I don't have the legal power to exclude
him from my son's lives, I have been cordial with
Max's father. That I've been able to do these things
has been the only thing about myself worth feeling good about.

Speaker 1 (05:32):
Oh oh, therapy, buddy therapy list. This man needs therapy
so bad, and there's nothing wrong with that therapy. He
is a good thing.

Speaker 3 (05:42):
But maybe it's not worth feeling good about. Maybe I
regret being civil because in Max's presence, that pragmatic argument
is not enough. It's like all the anger I've set
aside through sheer force of will returns at once and
possesses me while I have to talk it to it.
Oh my god, I thought I was doing the right thing.
But if I had remained combative and negative, I never
would have ended up in this position. What do I do?

(06:05):
I'm constantly thinking I want to back out to say no,
I can't do this. I'm sorry, but how could I
justify that? No one else in the situation will be
happy with that? The boys certainly don't understand why there
would be a reason for them to be treated differently
based on their parentage. My oldest has told me so explicitly,
in a moment that made me feel both proud of
him and ashamed of my own anger. Their mother and

(06:26):
her partner would be upset. Part of me doesn't care
and bitterly assumes they're just trying to get some free
time for themselves out of this. But I'm trying not
to dwell on that. My ex makes good arguments that
this isn't the best interest of all the children, but
part of me just remembers how long she lied to
me and how totally I trusted her in that time.
It seems like the only thing to do is the

(06:46):
same thing I've ever done, bock it up and get
over myself and my anger. No, no to therapy.

Speaker 1 (06:52):
The thing to go israpy therapy. Oh and also, yeah,
if you really can't stay in this kid right now,
like say no, you should not be looking at through him,
and you should make it clear that, like, I have
to work through my trauma before that trauma that you
kind of put on me.

Speaker 3 (07:07):
But if I do that, then I have to actually
do that. Even if I'm being a responsible babysitter for
Max right now, he deserves to live in a home
where he has loved, not merely tolerated. Can I do that?
Maybe I can't do it. I'm scared of a path
forward where I can't work up the nerve to back
out of this arrangement and consign myself to getting over it.
And then I actually don't get over it, but rather
dwell ever angrier with how my life has turned out,

(07:30):
and take it out on the undeserving around me.

Speaker 1 (07:32):
And there is an updates ever angry.

Speaker 3 (07:35):
His writing style is very funny.

Speaker 1 (07:37):
Very prosy. Yes, he's very eloquent.

Speaker 3 (07:39):
I do think they owe him a certain amount of
money just for taking care of the kid who's not
it's just so like he can pay for activities for
the kid.

Speaker 1 (07:47):
If it's not for like just a weekend. Yeah, yeah.
If it's going to be like a long term thing,
it's like there should be some kind of like, all right,
what's the child budget here?

Speaker 3 (07:54):
No, I think there is a huge difference between asking
op to you know, once in a while have a
sleepover with the kids and stuff, because it's like, you know,
a friend coming over, but forever always having them, you know,
every like a couple times every week is a lot, but.

Speaker 1 (08:12):
It is good for the brothers.

Speaker 3 (08:14):
The brothers. No, I think one hope he needs to
go therapy because I feel like this is an issue
we've seen from the beginning of you know, when they
broke up, he was like, you have to terminate the baby,
even though like which felt like a very vindictive Obviously
he was in you know, a really hard, like bad
state of mind, but he said that he knew that

(08:34):
she wouldn't accept that.

Speaker 1 (08:36):
So it's like, why didn't you just break up? Why
was that even Yeah, I don't think the relationship is
going to get better. Yeah, she terminated the pregnancy, and
then you still would have been.

Speaker 3 (08:43):
You still wouldn't.

Speaker 1 (08:44):
Yeah, very upset clearly.

Speaker 3 (08:46):
So I honestly I think that he is in this
like really bad understandably but bad state of mind and
the fact that it has stayed that way for five years.
He definitely needs some outside help.

Speaker 1 (08:59):
He's got a cut is get to do cognitive reframing
because the kid's not going away.

Speaker 3 (09:03):
It's not gonna go away.

Speaker 1 (09:04):
It just like move on because here forever. So you
got to reframe in your head how you think about it.

Speaker 3 (09:11):
And there is an update, so let's get into it. Hey, everyone,
it's been a few weeks since you heard from me.
I guess I'm kind of in a spot to update now.
So my post got a lot of feedback and it
was pretty much unanimous. I heard from lots of people,
parents and sons and daughters in blended families, people have
been cheated on themselves, people who were MAX in their
own families, and you all told me what I should

(09:33):
have been able to admit myself that this was not normal,
that no one had ever heard of an arrangement like this.
I resolved to end their arrangement and met with my
ex wife and her partner to tell them a few
days after I posted, midway through their custody week. Many
people advised me to speak to my boys about it first,
like my ex did to me, but I wanted to
deliver the message before having to take MAX again. I

(09:54):
was thinking that it might be better to instead call
them out on the behavior and try to get them
to agree not to include the boys in that level
of discussion before me, and then we could all sit
down with the boys. Yeah, the meeting did not go well.
They were both pretty mad at me. I had tried
to prepare for it to be uncomfortable. I had told
myself just to be polite and firm that I didn't

(10:16):
know the many explanations beyond I'm sorry it's not working out,
which is what I said, excellent. True, I guess he
had made some career move based on this schedule that
I was effing up. In hindsight, I do feel sort
of responsible for that frustration, and that I regret agreeing
to this arrangement in the first place. But in the moment,
I really was not giving an f about this man's
work life balance. Okay, yeah, it's not your responsibility. He

(10:39):
should be able to care for his own son.

Speaker 1 (10:41):
There's totally also other ways to make that work, besides
like only this one man, just take care.

Speaker 3 (10:48):
Of our child literally, not your son.

Speaker 1 (10:50):
And it's like the worst guy too, because he hated
your son.

Speaker 3 (10:54):
Then he said something about how I wasn't being fair,
that they just wanted a fair custody agreement this is fair.
That made me very mad. Thinking about this all to
type it out has my heart hammering. I have some
different opinions on fairness. I said some pretty crappy, regrettable
things to both of them, and then we were all
screaming at each other for a while, and then I
stormed out and I didn't talk to the boys. I

(11:16):
didn't get to talk to my boys for several days
until the handoff. They immediately were asking about why Max
wasn't with them, and I prepared for it all the
more serious talk with them then I had up to
this point. I talked about how it's great that they
enjoy spending time with Max, but that I'm their father
and that Max has his own father to spend time with.
I also talked about how this whole spectacle of our

(11:37):
lives is difficult for me, that I don't like having
to spend only every other week with them, that their
mother's decision to start another family with Max's father and
Max still makes me sad. This is pretty awful, difficult
stuff to talk about. I've been pretty strict with myself
about not venting to my sons about their mother up
until now, but effectively that's meant I haven't really talked
about her or our breakup at all. You can't say

(12:00):
anything nice as they say.

Speaker 1 (12:02):
I like that the kids have some level of insight
and to tell their dad is feeling. But also I
think it's very telling that he's like that means I
haven't talked about it with anybody.

Speaker 3 (12:13):
Yes, you need keeping it all inside a therapist.

Speaker 1 (12:16):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (12:17):
I honestly think I'm really hoping that he gets a
therapist before, you know, he talks more.

Speaker 1 (12:21):
To his kids.

Speaker 3 (12:22):
Yeah, because it's it's good that he took some time
to figure out what he wanted to say to them,
and it doesn't seem like he's, you know, bashing the
wife or anything.

Speaker 1 (12:29):
Yeah, it was. It was It sounded pretty delicate.

Speaker 3 (12:31):
Trying to maintain that respect for their mother and also
talk frankly about my own feelings is a difficult tightrope balance.
I don't want to blame their mother, but I also
don't want to not blame their mother. If you know
what I mean. This would be one of the situations
I identify as unfair, where the responsible thing is to
never say anything disparaging or poisonous to my sons about

(12:51):
their mother. My ex, but that means I have to
describe the current state of affairs and what has happened
to get here in a way that isn't disparaging to
their mother, and act like this is normal, she decided.
I think I actually did a good job navigating the conversation.
My son's absorbed it easier than I expected. A few
weeks later, and things with them are basically normal. I've

(13:12):
had a few short conversations with my ex since our
big embarrassing blow up. I sort of feel like I
want her to apologize for this whole thing, but also
note that I'm not doing myself any favors waiting for
that to happen. I think she remains upset with me
more for the things I said than the rejection of
this arrangement with Max. Or maybe that's just projection because

(13:33):
that's what I was feeling guilty for. I also regret
that the last time I spoke to Max was dropping
him off before ending the arrangement. I don't know. I
guess his mom has explained to him that she missed
him too much to have him gone each week, but
I don't know how sturdy that story will be. Rereading
my last post, has me feeling pretty shameful about how
I talked about Max. I know he doesn't deserve my

(13:53):
sustained ire and that he's not going anywhere, so I'll
have to be able to adjust to his presence. I'm
obviously holding on to a lot of that is really
about my ex wife, but she isn't obligated to give
a crap about that, and I am obligated to interact
with her politely. So I guess that anger just got
set aside and then vented onto Max just because he
was there in my face. But that was my own fault. Okay, Oh,

(14:15):
pas really super self aware. Yeah, but I would like
you guys to be aware that you can join us
live every weekday at three PMPST just to a her profile.
So I sort of expect things will pretty much return
to normal from your contact with my ex's Kurt right now.
But that'll loosen up thanks to almost everyone who commented
or reached out to me, and that is the end
of this story.

Speaker 1 (14:36):
My partner became a better husband after his mom died.
I don't know if this is okay to say, and
I feel a very bad person saying this, so please
don't judge me, but I think my late mother in
law's death actually made my life better. It was not
something that she was in like a toxic in law.
In fact, we were on good terms before her demise.

(14:59):
It's the events that followed after that. This is intriguing.
And this intriguing story comes from throw r A nine
oh nine eight nine to zero on the r slash
Okay storytime sub read it so for some context. When
I was in my junior year of college, I met
my husband A we're gonna call him Alan. At first,

(15:21):
I did not like Alan due to his laid back
attitude and casual demeanor regarding important matters, since it was
very contrary to my uptight nature, and thus I rejected
him when he confessed to me. To my surprise, he
took the rejection quite well and said we only live
once and it doesn't matter if I reject him that
he wanted to say it to me. To be honest,

(15:43):
I actually liked this whatever, But I guess this is
where I started getting attracted to his free spirit and
jovial nature of He was.

Speaker 3 (15:51):
Like, yeah, he's talking to me, and I was like okay,
He's like.

Speaker 1 (15:54):
Okay, I guess yeah, he's like whatever, But then I
was like oh. We soon became came friends and he
once again jokingly asked me out. This time I said yes,
since I was quite attracted to him by his charm
and nature.

Speaker 3 (16:08):
Is it a joke? If if he asks you out and.

Speaker 1 (16:11):
You say say yes? Is the relationship? This is the
whole twist? Is gonna be the It was a joke.
Your mother in law dying was a joke. Where's this?
This is I'm excited to see where this goes. Things
took a hit when we graduated and he did not
get a job. We decided to move in together since
I made enough money from my job, and then he
could live with me and take the role of stay

(16:31):
at home husband until he got a job. We got
married boy soon enough, and there I saw his mother
for the first time. He did not have a great
relationship with his mother, and thus they do not speak
to each other. The wedding was the first time I
actually saw her. I had met his father previously, but
I'd never met her. She seemed pleasant enough, and she

(16:52):
actually told me that Alan really hit a jackpot by
marrying me. I saw that during the entire event, Alan
only made dry convos with mother in law and nothing
as compared to father in law. Later after the wedding,
I asked the reason for such treatment and he said
it was because their personalities always clashed and she did
not support his lifestyle. I seemed confused, but I let

(17:15):
it go.

Speaker 3 (17:16):
I was like, you don't have you don't work, and
he's like, stop.

Speaker 4 (17:18):
It, mom, I'm a stay at home boy.

Speaker 1 (17:21):
I got cake, I got you don't know about that cake?
I got dragging around. I served all right, continuing on.
Soon after, I got a big promotion and my working
hours became much more hectic. Alan, as usual, was very
casual in housework and just played video games the whole
day or spent time out. We had very serious discussions, fights,

(17:45):
and the result was the same, him saying he will
do better, but he never did.

Speaker 3 (17:50):
He's not doing anything.

Speaker 1 (17:52):
He's literally providing nothing but the booty. I soon became frustrated,
as I thought I was raised as a man child.
You thought, no, you are correct. During this time, I
developed feelings for coworker Jay WHOA We're gonna call him Jerome,
Jerome coworker Jerome. He was everything I felt my ideal

(18:15):
type was. Soon Jerome and I began spending much more
time together, and I started fantasizing about Jerome even when
I was with Alan. Soon enough, Jerome and I started
an emotional affair.

Speaker 3 (18:27):
Just kick Alan out, say Alan, I you suck. I
don't want to be your girlfriend anymore. You can't be
my stay at home boyfriend.

Speaker 1 (18:33):
You can't play with call of duty all day and
then not sweep the floor.

Speaker 3 (18:40):
Alan, you've got a call to some household.

Speaker 1 (18:44):
Get us get a job, Allan, literally, but you're both graduates.

Speaker 3 (18:47):
But you can't do that. You can't do that. You
have to end your relationship with Alan.

Speaker 1 (18:53):
During this time, Alan and I started becoming more distant.
Jerome asked to take this to the next level, but
I felt wrong cheating physically too, so I thought I
would divorce Allan first. I sat down Allan that day
and said I was not in love with him anymore
and there was somebody else, so I wanted a divorce.

Speaker 3 (19:13):
Damn, Okay, okay.

Speaker 1 (19:16):
To my surprise, he said, that's fine, man, that I
reminded him too much of a teacher and that we
were not compatible.

Speaker 3 (19:23):
What is this relationship?

Speaker 1 (19:25):
Alan could not care.

Speaker 3 (19:27):
He's like, I actually asked you that as a joke.

Speaker 1 (19:30):
He's like, that's fine. Remember this was all a joke.
So this shocked ope, right, even though I thought I
was emotionally checked out to see what a blunder I
had made by dating Allan. Just after a week, Alan's
mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer and was taken to

(19:50):
emergency care. Father in law informed Alan, and to be honest,
it was the first time I saw Alan actually worried
and scared about something. Well, yeah, if it's gonna be
anything that snaps you out of complacency, it's gonna be apparent. Yeah,
terminal cancer. It's horrible. Alan begged me to accompany him
to the hospital and we both went to see his mother.

(20:11):
Soon enough, after we saw her, we came back and
Alan asked for four months of time before the divorce
so he could have me close by for support in
this difficult time. He sincerely asked me to stay with
him for these four months and said he would not
interfere in my relationship, so I accepted. During those days,
I saw Alan frequently visiting his mother, and that was

(20:32):
completely out of character for him. After his mother passed away,
soon after, Alan and his father organized a funeral and
the same night it was, Alan came over to me
and asked for a hug. I felt pity and hugged him,
and he started crying very badly, saying, if he had
not been such an idiot, he could have spent more
time with his mother and such. In fact, he just

(20:54):
cried himself to sleep.

Speaker 3 (20:56):
Props ape for you know, comforting her divorced husband.

Speaker 1 (21:00):
The next day, when I woke up, I saw Alan
making breakfast. He was watching a YouTube video trying to
make me scrambled eggs. You have to watch a YouTube
video for school.

Speaker 3 (21:09):
I know how to do anything. Oh no, Alan, Oh Alan.

Speaker 1 (21:12):
I was surprised and asked him what was he trying
to do. He explained to me that his mother and
him always clashed about his nonchalant behavior, and soon their
communication got so bad that they stopped talking altogether. And
in his heart, he always wanted to make up for
the lost time, but he was too arrogant. During these
last few weeks, he finally put aside his ego and
he had a mature talk with his mother. He finally,

(21:33):
he felt really relieved to talk to her again and
apologize for being an idiot. Even she apologized as she
did not act as a rational adult, and she passed
away in peace. He said to me that with all
of this, he does not want to repeat what he
did with his mother with me, and says that until
our due date I assume the due date of the divorce,

(21:53):
he is planning on enjoying each moment to the fullest
with me, and it was time to get his life
on track. I told him I don't have those feelings
towards him anymore, which is fair, and Alan just said,
no problem. We can still talk it away as ex
partners and then we can pardon peace. I think this
is where we're we're starting to get into. So my

(22:13):
mother in law died and everything in my life got better.
Your ex husband woke up from his you know, teenage stupor.
With all of this, Alan actually became much more attentive
towards me. He looked over me, cleaned the house, cooked
meals for me, gave me flowers, spent time with me.
At first, it took him a while since he was
new to all this, but seeing him try made me

(22:33):
help him more. During this time, my talks with Jerome
became much more infrequent. At the funeral, and soon Alan
and I slept together before one month of our divorce date.
It felt nice and to be honest, During this time,
I also saw Alan becoming more mature and confident about himself.
He even got a job in the same field, isn't he.

(22:55):
I gotta get a job soon. My affair with Jerome
ended and I reject did divorce with Alan and not
tuning in every weekday at three pm on YouTube. Just
tap our profile, let's join that live. Drum's gone out
and Alan already knew about drums, so I guess that's
you know.

Speaker 3 (23:15):
I mean, obviously she had an emotional affair, which is
never okay, but she immediately told Alan about it, and
Alan kind of knew when they when they were trying
to start to sing it together, and he still wanted
to do.

Speaker 1 (23:26):
It nonchalant about it.

Speaker 4 (23:28):
Now it's been sixteen years since we jumped, okay, both
Alan and I have had some pretty great moments, and
we have two strong boys, third and eleven, and Alan
has been managing his job raising the boys and at
the same time keeping the spark between us alive, all

(23:50):
by himself pretty impressively, which would have been impossible for
his former self till this date. I still sometimes think
that my late mother in law's death actually saved my marriage.
Tragic terminal illness definitely cool, I am awake, yes, oh
my goodness.

Speaker 3 (24:07):
And it's yeah, it seems like well. I think also
specifically because he had a conversation with his like his
mom was mad about him not you know, not stepping
up and not getting a job and stuff, and so
with her loss, I.

Speaker 1 (24:21):
Think he was like, I need to do it forever
for her, yeah, and for me yeah, and for ope yeah,
and he did and he did.

Speaker 3 (24:31):
I am banning my sister from my wedding because she's
the most selfish person I've ever met. Alrighty, So, a
year and a half ago, I thirty females started dating Leon,
twenty eight male. He has been on the outskirts of
all my friend groups for the past fifteen years. I've
always noticed him. A few years ago we went on
a few dates, but ultimately we went our separate ways

(24:53):
since we both felt like we weren't ready. We both
had just gone through some really bad breakups. Then a
year and a half ago, we met on bumble Oh.
By the way, this comes from awkward TRTL on the
Arslashok story time suppared it. I knew from our first
hug that he was the one from me. It felt
like coming home after being on a long trip. We're

(25:14):
so similar and became close quickly. We like to say,
two bodies, one brain cell. Oh boy, he always matches
my silly, goofy energy. There's nothing we haven't been able
to talk about. He's the most kind hearted and understanding
person I've ever met. A couple of weeks ago, we
got a hotel room at my favorite place for the weekend.
It has a restaurant with a few bars, a movie
theater with couches, a soaking pool, and a building with

(25:38):
hidden rooms that have art installations in them.

Speaker 1 (25:40):
Chat can you tell us where the hell this person
is from? Just to call it a soaking pool?

Speaker 3 (25:46):
Soaking pool?

Speaker 1 (25:46):
What the hell?

Speaker 3 (25:47):
Leon got there early to decorate the room with real roses.
Good guy. There was a bottle of champagne, chocolates, lavender
massage oil, and champagne flutes lowerks. No one has ever
done anything that romantic for me. He looked very nervous.
He kept telling me very sweet, loving things, then got
on one knee and proposed to me. Oh my god,

(26:11):
I of course said, whatever no, yes, yes, I of
course said, where's the camera? This is a joke, right,
You're on pranked. We spent the weekend doting on each other.
We were pretty much screaming from the rooftop that we
were engaged. He treated me to anything and everything I wanted.
This is too good, this is going too well.

Speaker 1 (26:29):
Yeah, where's the horrific towist?

Speaker 3 (26:32):
We got room service for the restaurant for breakfast, lunch,
and dinner. We went and saw Beetlejuice two since I
really wanted to see it. Okay, so this just just happened.
We went and found all the hidden rooms and had
so much fun looking at all the art. We went
and soaked in the pool as well. We got a
bottle of the hotel's housemade whiskey. We began discussing where
we wanted to get married and when and who we

(26:53):
wanted there. We decided that we wanted to elope to
my hometown in spring twenty twenty six. We wanted to
have a small reception in my hometown and a reception
where we live.

Speaker 1 (27:02):
Now.

Speaker 3 (27:03):
After straining both our brains as hard as we could,
we came up with a list of eighty people at
both places. But there was one person we immediately thought
of that we do not want there. My sister Kate's
Mkate thirty nine, female is the most disdainful person I
have ever had the displeasure of having to be around.

(27:25):
We have never really had a good relationship growing up.
I chalked it up to just there being such a
huge age gap for a while, but since becoming an
adult and cautiously trying to have a relationship with her,
I have witnessed firsthand just how despicable her actions can be.
Kate is known for always having some sort of drama
going on and for talking behind people's backs. So when

(27:45):
I was nineteen, I went in knowing this information and
just really wanting to have a sisterly relationship with her,
but was hesitant. I was going through a rough time.
I was homeless and in a really bad relationship. She
seemed nice enough to my face, but still wouldn't really
help me when I asked for her help. I was
honestly in a very dangerous situation. She even went as
far to tell my family that I must be on

(28:06):
hard substances because I was very sickly looking. Oh my god,
I was very underweight and now nourished. I was trying
so hard to get off the streets. I was working,
but my work schedule was in conflict with my free
church meal times. Oh, he is homeless right now and
her sister is and just help bagging her. Yeah to
the family, why is none of the family.

Speaker 1 (28:29):
I don't think it's from the homelessness. I think it's
because she's addicted to narcotics.

Speaker 3 (28:33):
Yeah, and to not how many.

Speaker 1 (28:36):
It just helped me? Maybe please literally just help her?

Speaker 3 (28:38):
So I didn't get to eat very often other than
when I begged my mom to feed me. I didn't
have the means to cook anything either. My boyfriend at
the time also at all the control of everything I did.
My mom ultimately did step in and help me out
of my predicament. Together, we managed to get rid of
my ex and move me into my own home. But
after how Kate treated me at that time, I was
not amused, needless to say, I went low contact with

(28:59):
Kate that I yeah, make that no fair. Not only
did she not help me, but she was trying to
turn our own family against me when I desperately needed help.
I would only see Kate at of family dinners and
holidays and there is more to the story, but really quick.
I'm wondering if the reason it kind of took so
long for Opie's mom to step in and help her

(29:20):
was because of what her sister was saying about her.

Speaker 1 (29:22):
Yeah, I mean maybe they were. Because there's a lot
of like people can get really crazy about people that
they should really just be caring about, yeah, and trying
to help when certain things get in substance abuse and
all this kind of stuff. And it also sounds like, yeah,
your older sister was.

Speaker 3 (29:37):
Just actively lying about the eyes into.

Speaker 1 (29:40):
The family to try to make you look bad.

Speaker 3 (29:42):
Yeah, not good at all. Four years down the line
after this, Kate started getting into the festival culture. She
remembered I was at some point into going to festivals.
I hadn't really been interested in them since I was
a teenager. She kept trying to relate to me, using
this as a bridge. I made it clear that I
wasn't really interested in festival anymore, but I thought it
was cool that she was. She kind of dug herself

(30:03):
a hole with it. She was trying really hard to
connect with me, telling me all about festivals and asking
me if I was going to this or that festival.
She would not take a hint. When I would blatantly
tell her I really don't like that stuff anymore. Then
I would change the topic to something I actually do like.
She would steamroll me and continue on and on about festivals.
It felt like when an absent parent comes back after

(30:26):
not being there and gives a teenager with an easy
bake oven. I loved easy bake as a kid. Probably
was like raw food, but I began to ignore this.
She still does this till this day. Here is a
quick list of other things she has done, because honestly,
I am already just exasperated. She asked me to buy
HBO Max for her so she could watch it on

(30:47):
my birthday, after ghosting our plans we had made for
my birthday.

Speaker 1 (30:51):
What that's crazy?

Speaker 3 (30:53):
What waiting for her? And she's like, Hey, I can't
come to your your thing because I need to watch
a show. But also can you give me access to
two HBO or she will find a way to make
everything about her only really talks to me if she
needs something from me. She's always expecting me to be
there for her when she isn't there for me. She's

(31:13):
expect she expected my brothers and I to have separate
family dinners. After she had a falling out with my
mom seventy six, she came over to my house after
I got surgery to be supportive and talking about herself
for hours, Like, seriously, this was the conversation, Kate, Oh
my gosh, how are you feeling me? You know, I'm
actually feeling a lot better than I did before. But Kate,
that's so great. Anyways, I just got one of my

(31:35):
dream jobs. Me literally doesn't get to say another word
for hours until she's leaving and saying goodbye.

Speaker 1 (31:42):
The most annoying conversations.

Speaker 3 (31:44):
I don't want to hear about you for hours. But
what really broke the camel's back was a year ago
when my mom had a stroke. My siblings and I
were so concerned because we honestly couldn't get much information
because she was out of state visiting other family members.
We finally figured out which hospital she was at and
that she was going to recover. The nurse said she
will have her call us when she recovered from surgery.

(32:06):
All of us anxiously sat on the couch my mom's
house waiting for the call. Finally, at almost nine at night,
we get a call from her my brothers and I
are immediately asking if she's doing all right and telling
her we love her and hope she's going to be
all right. Tell me why. The first thing out of
Kate's mouth was, and I quote, how's the will?

Speaker 1 (32:25):
I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why. I'll tell
you why right now. She sucks.

Speaker 3 (32:30):
Sucks, she sucks. She's not in that will. You're not
in that will. I hope to God you're not in
that will.

Speaker 1 (32:35):
She'd better not be. The will should say you suck.

Speaker 3 (32:38):
All of us were floored. My jaw hit the floor,
but she then proceeded to keep asking about her will.
Once the shock wore off, my brothers and I cut
her off and continued to ask her how she was
holding up, letting my mom know how worried we were,
but that we had everything under control on the home front.
To be honest, my brothers and I knew exactly how

(32:58):
the will was. My mom's a lot of time with
all of us explaining what would happen in a situation
like this or when she dies. She had all of
a siden the appropriate documents needed. The only one who
wasn't in on it was Kates. She wasn't included because
she refused to talk with my mom when she was
getting everything put together, and that's your fault. The preceding

(33:19):
months after this were really hard. My brothers and I
spent a lot of time trying to help my mom
rehabilitate and get back on her feet, helping her wherever
we could. Unfortunately, it seems like my mom isn't going
to make a full recovery. He still needs to be
watched twenty four seven and can't really do much besides
sit around. Kate figured out pretty quickly that she wasn't
in the will and cut any further contact with my mom. Well,

(33:42):
she only went back into contact to get the money.

Speaker 1 (33:45):
So and that's why you're not in the will, because
you suck.

Speaker 3 (33:48):
Stating she will not talk to or help my mom
until she is put in the will. Oh no, what
are we going to do without your winning conversations. She
still hasn't spoken to or seen my mom at all
during this whole situation. My brothers and I don't even
consider her part of the family anymore. Now I'm getting married,
she doesn't know yet, as Leon and I have only
told immediate family and close friends. We plan on making

(34:11):
our big announcement after we get our engagement photos done,
and we plan on having you join us live every
weekday on YouTube at three PMPST.

Speaker 1 (34:19):
Just tap her profile. That is the plan.

Speaker 3 (34:20):
I don't know how to go about telling her that
I don't want her at my wedding receptions since I
know she'll cause problems with my mom and my brothers,
She'll be rude to Leon's family, and ultimately I really
just don't want her there after everything she's done. I
fully accept that my sister will probably never want to
talk to me again after this. Thank you for everyone
who read this massive message and any advice.

Speaker 1 (34:41):
Is greatly appreciated.

Speaker 3 (34:42):
Don't invite her.

Speaker 1 (34:43):
Don't invite her. That was I love how the story was,
like we're coming up with the guest list and we
immediately both.

Speaker 3 (34:50):
Knew invite don't invite this.

Speaker 1 (34:53):
Hey, it's Jean here. We're gonna get back to this episode,
but a quick three minute break with aswermre sponsors.

Speaker 3 (34:58):
My husband blame me for our struggles getting pregnant, so
I secretly tested him and found out the truth.

Speaker 2 (35:06):
What's the truth?

Speaker 3 (35:07):
My me female thirty three and my husband thirty one male.
I've been together for four years, married for one year.
Last summer, when we got married, we decided to try
for a baby, and I stopped my birth control. By
the way, this comes from Puzzleheaded Cut eight twelve on
the r slash Okay story Time Separate It. I already
had a daughter of almost seven years from my previous relationship.

(35:28):
This relationship lasted nine years and unfortunately ended six months
after she was born because I caught my ex in
an affair from almost a year. It wasn't hard to
get pregnant. I got pregnant within a month after quitting
birth control. Caring at the pregnancy to full term was
I've had six miscarriages before my daughter.

Speaker 2 (35:48):
It's off.

Speaker 3 (35:48):
Oh, probably was hard. One evening when my now husband
then boyfriend, daughter and me were at my mom's place
for dinner and the topic of kids came up. She
my mother jokingly said to be ready, because I get
pregnant fast after stopping the pill. I don't know how,
but the talk came to how it actually happens that
women get pregnant while they take their pill. He said,
to not believe it would happen if you didn't forget

(36:10):
it Somewhere he had two long relationships before that, and
it never happened that they were late or whatever. Yes,
this seems ridiculous to remember, but wait, so fast forward
to last summer. I stopped birth control at the beginning
of June. I'm not mid twenties anymore, so I didn't
think anything of it. When October came and I still
wasn't pregnant. Maybe my body needed longer to adapt or something. Still,

(36:31):
at the end of October, I went to the hospital
and got everything checked. I'm fine, fertile, and absolutely able
to get pregnant normally. I wanted to bring this up
to my husband to get him checked out too. Then
our world crash. My daughter was involved in a horrible
accident and passed away one week later.

Speaker 1 (36:49):
My god seven year old daughter.

Speaker 2 (36:52):
Oh wow, Oh, that's so sad.

Speaker 3 (36:56):
We did our best to support each other, which didn't
always work out how we wanted to. We fought a lot,
cried even more, ignored each other, loved again. I'm sure
that some might know the rollercoaster. We both still go
to therapy, and finally, almost a year later, we don't
break down in tears anymore. While remember remembering something about her.
I even managed to give away one of her toys

(37:18):
last week to the neighbor's kid. That's a huge thing.
Keep in mind that our room is still the same
as when she left to school that morning. All this time,
our mind wasn't set on getting pregnant, but I also
didn't start birth control again. We did have spicy sleep
on regular basis. Don't judge us here. We were really
trying to keep at least that connection. While it felt
like we were losing each other in grief, it helped

(37:38):
us become closer again and reminded us that we loved
each other. The more I thought about it, the weirder
it seemed that I still wasn't pregnant yet. I bought
a home test for male fertility. I pretended to spill
his sperm on me by accident and went to the
bathroom to clean myself up. I collected it in the
jar and did all the steps for testing. It didn't
give an exact result. It just gives positive for when

(38:01):
there are enough cells to be considered fertile fertile or
negative when they're not. The test came out negative. I
did the same thing again two weeks later, again negative. Pausing. Yeah,
totally unokay.

Speaker 2 (38:14):
Yeah, why not talk to your partner that it's a worry.

Speaker 3 (38:20):
Super huge breach of trust. Yea to manipulate them and
to so that you can get like a test when
you could just ask them.

Speaker 2 (38:28):
So confused, I'm so confused, Like why would that even
incurred to her? Yeah? Why why can't you just ask
your partner if you could test on both ends? Yeah?

Speaker 3 (38:38):
No, really crazy? Why wouldn't I just don't understand why
you wouldn't communicate that with your partner if the weird
really weird that op felt there need to be so
secretive confused.

Speaker 2 (38:49):
I hope there's some like explanation of that decision.

Speaker 3 (38:52):
But I brought it up several times to get him
tested at the hospital, which every time resulted into we're
just stressed. Of course it won't happen.

Speaker 2 (39:00):
Oh okay.

Speaker 3 (39:01):
Still still I think it's saying you could say, I'm
I went and got my you know, levels checked, I'm fertile.

Speaker 2 (39:09):
Yeah, this is like this is very other tend to me.
Can you please do this? Yeah?

Speaker 3 (39:13):
It's really icky.

Speaker 2 (39:14):
There seems to be many things that could be done
before you would even ever think about it, And still
it's never acceptable.

Speaker 3 (39:20):
Now we got into an argument two days ago. We
were both bad in bad moods from work, so the
vibe wasn't great to begin with. He talked about a
baby room he saw online that looked pretty, and I
said again that he should get himself an appointment at
the hospital, that we might need help to get our
wish fulfilled. He said that there was nothing wrong with him,
and he blamed it on stress. At that point I
rolled my eyes and was even more annoyed than I

(39:40):
already was when I came home. I stood up and
ended the conversation with I need to go to the
store tomorrow to buy tampons because I'll need them this weekend.
He commented, you're always so negative. No wonder it won't happen.

Speaker 2 (39:53):
Whoa putting the blame.

Speaker 3 (39:56):
Very very Uh? You know King Henry the eighth what
like he blamed all his wives, Oh, you know for
the not giving him a son.

Speaker 2 (40:07):
Oh but it was his fault. I didn't know that.
But you had to put the blame on solely on
your partner.

Speaker 3 (40:12):
Absolutely, like to be clear, she definitely that's an a
hole move on her part, huge breach of to trust,
just a ras radish, says wild invasion of privacy. He
is not in the right either. His attitude here is
just really disrespectful and blaming her. I don't like either
of them in this situation, he commented, You're always a negative.

(40:32):
No wonder, it won't happen. I just replied with I
home tested you twice. You can't it won't happen. But sure,
no one needs doctors. It's just stress. He looked as
if he was hit by a truck. Oh, he started
yelling later on, crying, I get that. I shouldn't have
brought it up that way. Now he's calling me the
a hole for even having the audacity to home test

(40:53):
his sperm without telling me. Am I the a hole? Yes, yes,
you are the ale.

Speaker 1 (40:59):
But so is he.

Speaker 2 (41:00):
In no way as well, Princess X says Henry literally
for not giving him a son. Wow.

Speaker 3 (41:06):
Did your name Henry?

Speaker 1 (41:08):
Oh?

Speaker 3 (41:08):
Oh oh they're talking about.

Speaker 1 (41:11):
Yes.

Speaker 3 (41:12):
Yeah, that's like divorce beheaded, survived, divorce beheaded died?

Speaker 2 (41:16):
Wow?

Speaker 3 (41:17):
Yes seven one yeah, back to the story. Back to
the story. There is an update. Okay, first of all,
thank you to the people who had some genuine advice
to answer some of the questions. It's not a money thing.
My husband makes seven figures a year. I obviously don't,
but I still earn a nice pay. I was and
still am certain that he did not have a va sectomy.

(41:37):
To those who demanded n PM that I sent the
documents to prove that my daughter died, I will not send.

Speaker 2 (41:43):
Them with people.

Speaker 3 (41:47):
Sometimes I think people on Reddit are so insistent on
like making sure that a story is real, that it's
like who cares care?

Speaker 4 (41:57):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (41:58):
Ask a mother with a yeah with the lost child
to prove that ridiculous.

Speaker 3 (42:04):
To those who judge me for grieving wrong because I'm
sometimes stressed from work. My job saved me from drowning.
It gave me a purpose, a reason to get up
in the morning and kick myself into breathing again. Don't
come at me how I should be ashamed of myself
for not grieving the right way when you have no
idea how it feels to be dying on the inside daily,
over and over again. I hope he gets all and

(42:24):
divorce people. I'm sorry to disappoint you. Unless someone cheated,
we have a prenup, I would walk out well provided
because in contrary of some exceptions, I am a good wife.
No the cheating clause isn't there because one of us
did already? We have it because his mother cheated on
his father and walked away with millions for being unfaithful.
We went to therapy again and obviously brought this situation up. Yes,

(42:47):
I am the a hole for bringing it up during
a fight. However, he even admitted he might have done
the same thing if it was reversed. Oh, I'm also unhealthy.
Apparently he also noticed that I still was pregnant and
was honestly just scared that it would really be his fault,
as he always wanted a family and kids, and it
became more and more clear to him that something wasn't right,

(43:09):
But he was too afraid to get tested and that
I would leave if he was indeed sterile. I will
not good in bad times. We promised each other that,
and for some that actually as meaning. We did the
home test again together with the right collecting methods. Unfortunately,
it came back negative. He has made an appointment at
the clinic and can go there in two weeks to
get a sperm checked properly. We will see from there

(43:30):
how it goes, and I hope that we'll see you
guys every weekday at three PMPC just ab her profile.
Sorry that isn't the most exciting update, but it is
what it is. We will still continue our therapy and
work on healing together. Thank you for those with real advice.
I wish you all the best in your life. One
more thing, I'm not trying to get a replacement kid.
Who are these commenters who are commenting about this?

Speaker 2 (43:53):
You like, stop it stopping awful. I'm glad that they're
heaving therapy. I'm glad that they're seeing each other's perspectives,
insides and coming together as a team.

Speaker 3 (44:05):
Glad that they both realized that they made they were
a holes in this situation.

Speaker 2 (44:09):
I hope that it's not that is not true. I
hope that he is fertile.

Speaker 3 (44:12):
Yeah, well I think, you know, even if he's not,
then I think they need to, you know, they'll get
to figure it out together. Maybe it's adoption, maybe it's
you know, there's a lot of different ways to go forward.

Speaker 2 (44:23):
Yeah, but at least now they're operating as a collaborative
team and can you know, talk about how to move
forward exactly.

Speaker 3 (44:31):
But that is the end of that story.

Speaker 1 (44:33):
Hey, it's Sam.

Speaker 3 (44:33):
We're going to get back to these stories, but here's
three bites of ads from our sponsors.

Speaker 2 (44:37):
My husband hates my sister because she's divorced. My husband
hates my sister because she is a divorced mother of
three kids and has never been independent and lives with
my mom. He feels like she mooches off of everyone
and feels like my mom enables her. She also tends
to believe in some conspiracy theories COVID vaccine, et cetera.

(44:58):
He says that she always has drama going on, and
he hates people who can't stand on their own two feet.
By the way, this comes from y dash where is
the line on the r slash okay storytime subreddit. So
my sister is my best friend. She's the person I
lean on and she leans on me. She has a
lot of things going on, but I do not feel
burdened when we talk. In fact, I feel like I'm

(45:19):
helpful to her. She's made a lot of mistakes in
the past. I agree, she has never been mean to
my husband. They get along okay until he found out
that she aligns with some Republican values. He is very liberal.
We have a child that adores her. Three kids, the
cousins see each other often. They go to same school.
He gets angry when they hang out and says her

(45:41):
kids will have a bad influence on ours. He really
does not like this, says those people. Yeah, a lot
of resentment. These kids are eight, four and six. I
can't possibly understand what kind of influence at a young age.
The kids live in a great neighborhood, part of a
loving household. Love my son are amazing, he says. Since
they don't have a fun they are likely going to

(46:02):
fail in life.

Speaker 3 (46:03):
Oh that's like not very liberally mindset.

Speaker 2 (46:07):
You interesting, He says, she will have a bad influence
on her son. That she is an excellent aunt and
she loves my son very much. My sister works full
time and is an excellent mother. She told her own
son at one point that he didn't have to go
to college if he didn't want to, and this made
my husband livid. She had some alcohol issues in the
past when she was married, but once she got away

(46:29):
from her bad ex husband, she no longer drinks at all.
Oh no, he calls her all sorts of names, and
it hurts my feelings. For example, he called her a
crappy person. God justified that I shouldn't be mad because
it's true. So he refuses the back down when he
insults her and stands his ground despite how he hurts me.
Of course, I refuse to sacrifice my relationship with my sister,

(46:50):
my best friend, for him. I refuse to keep my
kid away from his cousins and family just because he
hates her. There wasn't even an altercation between them. One day,
he just decided he hated her. We have done a
holiday separately for over four years. I'm happy when he
is not there with my side of the family. I
love his family, but because of him, we can't join
them together. We travel separately, which is so great with me.

(47:12):
I don't want to hear the constant barrage of how
much he hates her. I was happy with this arrangement,
but now the kids go to the same school and
there are a lot of kid activities he wants to
go to, but my sister and I go together with
the kids. He hates my sister so much he gets
angry that she has to be there it's school activities,
So I don't know how to avoid her.

Speaker 3 (47:32):
He just sounds like such like a petulant child, like
he can't I don't care. If he doesn't like her,
he can't even be around her.

Speaker 2 (47:39):
It seems like his kids hatred.

Speaker 3 (47:42):
Yeah, what why?

Speaker 2 (47:44):
But I'm so confused, Like I want to talk to
this man and be like, why do you hate started
this person?

Speaker 3 (47:49):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (47:50):
Because she said they got along fine and then one
day it's just switch.

Speaker 3 (47:54):
Yeah, No, it was just which is why I'm like,
it was there something that caused the switch? Did she
say anything?

Speaker 2 (47:59):
It's possible, Well, yeah, something happened. Yeah, he's always invited
to go, but he would ignore her kids and would
make it miserable. My six year old kid asked me
why he hates his cousins and his aunts. I was
shocked to learn he picked up on those. Kids are
very presentive, I mean, and especially if.

Speaker 3 (48:17):
He's never there.

Speaker 2 (48:19):
Yeah, and especially if he's so obvious about it and
feels so strongly. Kids can pick up on that. So
I used to take my sister's problems as my own
several years ago, and he says we always fight about her,
so I stopped completely talking about her about him. Now
he gets mad because he hears me talking to her
sometimes and I'm always giving her advice. I'm not even
talking to him He hates that I'm talking to her

(48:41):
at all, says she has a bad character and hates
the fact that I can't see it. I told my
husband what I'm tired of this guy. I'm upset with
this as well. I told my husband that his anger
is his problem and I'm personally sick of this. My
sister isn't going anywhere, so I don't know what to
tell him. Also, he can't dictate whether a kid gets
hang out with his cousins. He's the right to be

(49:02):
around his family too, Am I wrong? Additional people say
I'm leaving things out and it's not the whole story,
so add more contact. Okay, Yeah, yes, there's some things
I left out. She shoplifted at age twenty and I
helped her out again, like many years ago. He hates
that my mom had to help take care of her,

(49:22):
and it stresses my mom out. Two years ago, she
up and moved the kids away from her husband without
telling him, and came to my mom's house with the
three kids. The court sided with her as her husband
is a deadbeat. My mom told her to come as
she was worried about my sister's abuse situation when we
were younger. She was somewhat jealous of my success when
she was struggling. She never treated me bad about it.

(49:44):
She can be entitled at times. All of these are
perfect our character flaws, but no one is perfect. So
I'm perplexed. And I'm also perplexed. Why you would not
join us live on YouTube every weekday at three tm
pstachers to have a profile. Perplexed, why wouldn't he have something? Okay,
We're almost done here the end of the day. She's
an excellent sister. I'm seven years older than her, so
I've helped her out throughout the years and don't mind

(50:05):
giving her advice and helping her. She needs a lot
of advice, and he hates that. He used to say
that she stressed me out, But when I realized that
maybe she does, although it didn't actually feel that way,
but any self retrospectrum is welcomed. I stopped telling him
anything and learned to not be his passionate about things
that were going on. Not much difference in his behavior
at all. I'm genuinely perplexed. It's not like I gave

(50:28):
her our money. None of this involved him. He just
hates her character. I honestly can't think of anything else
to put in this vote.

Speaker 3 (50:35):
Yeah, I it's really not voting well for the relationship
that he is this up in arms about her friendship
and sisterly bond.

Speaker 2 (50:45):
And also like the context of like why possibly he
would be upset with her about like all these past
things like shoplifting and you know, past things with like
moving and the past partners. It still feels irrelevant to
what the issue is. The issue is not that you're
upset and that you judge your partner's sister. That is okay,

(51:07):
you're a human. You're allowed to be upset at people,
especially people close to your partner. But to make it
like to project all of these feelings onto your partners,
you have to feel the same way. And yeah, and
to be quite insultive about it. It's like, of course
that's going to hurt your relationship with your partner.

Speaker 3 (51:25):
Agreed. Yeah, No, I worry for them if he's going
to continue this way. Yeah, because she might realize like, hey,
you know what, my sister's better than you.

Speaker 2 (51:36):
Well, it just seems like it's a deal breaker for her.
I don't imagine this relationship continuing on and being healthy
if he's going to continue, if he's continue insulting her
her sibling. I agree, her siblings close to her and
it seems to be like one of her most important
relationship agreed.

Speaker 3 (51:54):
Macy Baker says, conspiracy theory the husband suddenly changed towards
the sister because he's trying to isolate Ope and could
turn abusive. That is Yeah, that's a possibility. Rara King says,
he's so judgmental, and I'm not a fan of extra
judgmental people like that.

Speaker 2 (52:08):
It is.

Speaker 3 (52:09):
Yeah, I think there's sometimes you meet people who are
so like holier than thou and they become so judgmental
because they think they know everything and they know like
the right way to do everything, and it's like exhausting.

Speaker 2 (52:24):
I think I think about judgment a lot, and I
think there's a perspective on judgment that I think in
some cases can be very true, and that we judge
our shadow in this idea that we have parts of
our psyche that we're unable to accept, love and integrate,
and so in order for our psyche to manage this discrepancy, Yeah,

(52:44):
that there's parts of us that we can accept. We
there's this tendency to project that onto people that remind
you of the parts of yourself that you can accept,
and then to push all of those internalized feelings and
externalize them on someone else. Again, I'm not psychoanalyzing him.
I don't know if that's true or not, but it's
a possibility, and I'm curious WHATSIB like if there's no

(53:06):
other reason her triggers him so much.

Speaker 3 (53:08):
Yeah, it's interesting. I wish we had more information about that,
but alas we don't. My wife trash talked me to
her friend and now she wants to divorce me. A
little backstory. I'm twenty two and my wife is twenty six.
We've been together three years wow, but married for two.
The place we live currently I had before we got married,

(53:29):
but she was later added to the least once it
was renewed. When she first started coming over, she offered
to pay rent, but I didn't let her because she
wasn't on the lease and I felt it wasn't her responsibility.
By the way, this comes from few independents ninety seventy
two on the r slash Okay storytime subburdt it. So
once she moved in, she helped with rent every once
in a while. I've always had trouble asking for help,

(53:52):
because then that makes me reliant on other people, and
that's a power I struggled to gep Regardless, she still
continued to offer pay every chance. Eventually she renewed the
lease and she is now on it. And I decided
before we added her to talk to ask her if
she would pitch in and go half on the rent.
This was a very big step for me, and it
took me a week to even muster up the courage

(54:13):
to ask. The plan was for her to go half
so I could start saving more. She agreed, and when
the first couple months came, she paid, and I was
so relieved that a little bit of the weight would
be lifted off my shoulders. Unluckily enough, she would soon
be sent off to work in another state. And we've
spent the last four years apart.

Speaker 2 (54:32):
Wait did you say four four years? We spent the
last year?

Speaker 3 (54:35):
Oh my god? Sorry, good, we've sent the last year apart.
I was at my previous job for four years, and
for the last two years I wanted badly to get
out of it, but I was terrified to leave. When
she first left, I was still working, but the job
was taking such an awful toll on me. I was
turning into such a mean and negative person, and with

(54:56):
us being separated and me being treated like crap at work,
I started talking to my wife more and more about
the idea of me quitting and finding a new job.
She was one hundred percent on board with the idea,
and I waited a few months to save before finally
I couldn't take it and pulled the trigger. So it
seems like they were having problems with their relationship. They

(55:18):
took a break, and then OP was having problems at
the job and left that job.

Speaker 1 (55:23):
Okay, I think that's where we are.

Speaker 2 (55:24):
I was not following, thank you.

Speaker 3 (55:26):
Look, little did I know that was the beginning of
the end.

Speaker 2 (55:30):
Oh.

Speaker 3 (55:31):
I didn't have another job lined up, which I know
I should have. I was just in such a depressive
state and was heading on to a really dark path
that I couldn't let myself go back too. I had
saved enough to last me a year and a half
without working. I hadn't planned to be without a job
that long. I just wanted the extra wiggle room. But
I had this planned with the idea that me and

(55:52):
my wife would still be splitting rent in all actuality.
I had a little of her nine months of rent,
not including other bills, in utibe because she never helped
with rent once she left, So I think in that
year that they were separated. I think they technically were
both still on the lease, but she wasn't helping.

Speaker 2 (56:11):
With the rent and he was living there and she wasn't.

Speaker 3 (56:14):
I believe, so okay. Before I quit, she had reassured
me that it would be okay and that she was
going to help with some of the bills, but it
never happened, which caused a lot of issues for us
later down the line, because I found myself holding a
grudge towards her. Friends and family would make comments like
are you guys splitting? Is she helping you? And I'd
always say yes because I didn't want anyone to worry

(56:36):
or think badly of her. Slowly it started eating away
at me and I became resentful. We got into a
big argument once she got home from her time away
about something totally different. I never even got the chance
to bring up the fact that she promised to help
me and she didn't, because somehow the argument got flipped
back on me and turned into something else. Oh no,

(56:59):
so oh, I went through her phone one night.

Speaker 2 (57:02):
Stop everyone's going through people's phones in these stories.

Speaker 3 (57:05):
Yeah, yeah, and searched my name and she was basically
just trash talking me with her best friend the entire
night that we were arguing, talking about how I'm broke
and jobless and how tired she was a being with me,
but she basically feels like she has to take care
of me because we're married and she's older, saying that
she's trying to find a way out of it but
she can't.

Speaker 1 (57:25):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (57:26):
It was some of the most hurtful things I've ever read,
and it basically showed me that I shouldn't have let
myself rely on her. I know I should be able
to rely on my spouse, but I was trying to
let that wall down, and in return, it was thrown
back in my face, just like I knew it would be.
And Ellie Graces, they were just in a long distance relationship,
not on a break which I did.

Speaker 2 (57:45):
Yeah that's what I, Okay, I would because when I
originally I was like, did they she just moved away?

Speaker 3 (57:50):
And they were she was she was like somewhere else
for that time being, but the relationship was still going
on and she wasn't paying for or the rent at all.
I NOP was kind of fronting all of that money
even though they lost they didn't have a job. Are
they quit their job. I've been actively looking and applying
to jobs. I've had eight different interviews in the last

(58:12):
four months. I've even considered going back to the job
I was previously in, just to avoid proving her right.
It's the worst feeling watching my bank account drop and
not being able to do anything about it. I've even
applied for jobs that pay little to nothing, but no luck.
I didn't realize the hiring market was as bad as
it is, or I never would have left before securing

(58:34):
another job. I either interview and it falls through, or
I don't hear back. All this while juggling school. Hindsight
is definitely twenty twenty. Anyways, fast forward to now. My
money is running low and I have to tell her,
but I'm terrified. I have such bad anxiety and I
don't do well with confrontation. Another reason It's taken so

(58:55):
long to talk to her about it. But I know
I have to. How do I tell her that I'm
basically broke and need her help, but you can help
us by joining us live every weekday at three PMPSD.

Speaker 1 (59:06):
Just tap her profile, just tap, okay.

Speaker 3 (59:08):
And there is just a tiny bit more to this story,
so I'll just read it, Okay. Something that may be
important to add is she bought a new motorcycle and
a sports car with the money she saved while she
was away, and those put a dent in her savings.
I'm sure a part of me is so pissed that
she can spend without a care in the world right
now while I'm scrambling, but I also know it's no
one's fault but not mine. Sorry, this is all over

(59:29):
the place. I'm spiraling and need any advice possible.

Speaker 2 (59:32):
Okay, I'm I was confused why he just like passed
over what should have been like the main focus for
the rest yeah, of the story, that you found out
that your partner thinks very low of you, is insulting
you and wants to leave you.

Speaker 3 (59:51):
And then he was like, well I still need the money.

Speaker 2 (59:54):
Yeah, And it's like, which is a hard situation, Like
she she judges me, So I don't know how to
bring up these things. It's it's just like, let's stop
at that of like she doesn't you found out your
partner doesn't want to be with you, why would anyone
want to be Like if I found that out, I
wouldn't want to be with anyone that doesn't want to
be with me exactly. I would want to break out there.

Speaker 3 (01:00:15):
I think it's I think maybe that is Op's thought,
but it's it's like, I literally can't afford to live
without her, but she's not even paying for you, So
it's like, are you what are you getting out of this?

Speaker 2 (01:00:29):
I think that it's not fulfilling her bargain to find out.
The financial stuff is just irrelevant. What is just relevant
is your partner doesn't respect you and doesn't want to
be with you.

Speaker 3 (01:00:37):
Yeah, I think I do kind of disagree. I think
it would only be relevant if she was actually helping
him financially, But because we know she's not, yeah, and
she also hates him, it's like, there's nothing keeping you.

Speaker 2 (01:00:49):
Here right now. If if he was like, yeah, I
found this out, but you know, I'm not to support
myself right now, and like, while it's like this is
part of my support network, yeah, that would be That
would be a different story, but it's not the stories.

Speaker 1 (01:01:02):
No.

Speaker 3 (01:01:03):
Dutchess Cassanta says as soon as she finds out he's broken,
can't fit the bill so she can save her own money.
She's gonna dump him. Yeah, probably

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