My ex DEMANDED that I skip a housewarming party… because his fiancée is uncomfortable with me! - r/BestofRedditorUpdates | Reddit Stories | EP2046 - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is John, this is I am Okay Storytime podcast hosts,
and we have some.

Speaker 2 (00:08):
Story is coming up for you.

Speaker 1 (00:10):
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Speaker 3 (00:10):
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Speaker 4 (00:15):
Hmmm.

Speaker 2 (00:16):
My ex demanded that I skip a housewarming party because
his fiance is uncomfortable with me.

Speaker 1 (00:24):
Excuse me, my ex.

Speaker 2 (00:26):
Twenty seven mail and I twenty six female. I just
split two years ago.

Speaker 3 (00:32):
I just imagine that's shit. That guy souths so well.
Such an annoying thing to ask.

Speaker 2 (00:37):
We met through my best friend who worked in the
same theater as him then, and the reason we broke
up was because he didn't think we were working anymore.
By the way, this comes from new Material seventy eight
ninety six on the arsash Okay story Time read it,
so it was pretty amicable. I didn't put up a
fight or anything, but I strongly believed there was no
reason for us to be friends anymore. That always causes problems,

(01:00):
But I'm still friendly with his friends and I make
small talk if I run into his parents. We live
in a pretty close knit environment. Don't ask me how
we live in a city, but most of my friends
and his come from either the same UNI, or have
a common hobby, or we roam around the same circles,
and we definitely see each other once or twice every
couple of months. My ex has a fiance now, and

(01:22):
I am happy for them. I've never met her until now.
I thought this didn't matter or anything. We are all adults,
or so I think. One of his closest friends, Peter,
just bought a house. I am friends with his girlfriend,
and we are both invited to the housewarming. I didn't
think anything of it. However, my ex texted me yesterday

(01:43):
after like a year, albeit very politely, that maybe I
could skip the housewarming as he was bringing his fiance
and she will feel uncomfortable. I was pretty weirded out
by his wording, so I called him. He says his
fiancee feels uncomfortable that it would be anywhere close to him,
and the fact that they both feel like I sometimes
intrude into their social gatherings. It's not just your social gathering,

(02:06):
you just to prove I'm better than her friends. I
got pretty mad hearing him say these things, and I
asked him, in what way we are not friends? And
I stopped hanging out with his friends the moment we
broke up to not make things difficult. There were a
lot of people in his circle I became close to,
but I stepped away just so that things weren't awkward
for any future partner. And how was it my fault?

(02:30):
My ex explained two of his friends didn't like or
respect his girlfriend and thought her an airhead, and so
did his parents. It sounds like you might be an airhead.
Then our circles are I admit, full of literature and
theater people, and I admit some of them can be pretentious. Again,
I told him that was him being a spineless boyfriend

(02:52):
and not my problem. I told my ex strongly that
both Peter and his girlfriend are my friends and I
would be going to their housewarming and his relationship issues
are not my problem. And his fiance sent a long
text on how she was sorry but now I was
apparently being vindictive and how did it matter if I
didn't go to a housewarming. She asked me to not

(03:13):
make any drama and please respect her. She's the one
making the drama. She's the one making the drama. So
I guess what Opee did? Did reply? Blocked her bear
but blocked bucked. My friends are pissed at my ex,
and I haven't told my friend or Peter any of
it yet. I think maybe I could have handled it
any other way. Am I the A hole? And we

(03:35):
do have more relevant comments. Peter's girlfriend and I have
been friends for a long time, and we were even
roommates for eight months. Technically I'm closer. I'm a closer
friend to Peter than my ex is, even though they
are college friends, because of his fiances antics and Pete
and another one of his closest friends are drifting away

(03:57):
from my ex because he insists on bringing her every
where and they don't like her. Out of all my
ex's friends, it's only Pete I'm close too, mainly because
of his girlfriend. Plus his girlfriend and Pete met through me,
so I am a very close part of their friend group,
which is why I was pissed at my ex, because
I can understand if he was telling me to skip

(04:19):
his best friend's party, but telling me to skip one
of my closest friend's housewarming for his fiance who people
don't like their sounded so stupid.

Speaker 1 (04:30):
Yeah it is.

Speaker 2 (04:31):
I know something too, says not the A hole, but
you should tell Peter and his girlfriend. Your ex and
his fiancees are wieners. It's not your job to manage
their emotions or insecurities. If she's uncomfortable, then she should
stay home. Fry one fat Manni says, I agree, Peter
should be told before the ex has a chance to
spin this and make OPI the bad guy. And OPI responds,

(04:55):
Peter is one of those people who doesn't like her.
Our circle is mainly filled with people who mix with
the certain type of bookish thinking. Plus, Peter and another
of my ex's friends think she is anti intellectual. Most
of my exist friends are like that theater people or
really pretentious a holes. Peter doesn't like her more because
he thinks my ex was stupid to break up with

(05:16):
me and couldn't handle it if I was doing better
than him. Their friendship is already on thin ice, and
I don't want to be the reason it breaks.

Speaker 1 (05:24):
Update.

Speaker 2 (05:24):
Thank you for all the lovely suggestions in my previous post,
which is why I'm doing an update. I did go
to the party, honestly. After reading that yes, my ex
had in fact lost his mind, I decided to not
bother Peter or his girlfriend. My friend and just go
and man, I'm a business. It's not like my ex

(05:46):
and his fiance would come and scream the house down
on seeing me. Right again, I guess I didn't mention
my last post. The reason I was more mad at
my ex was because I have a very serious boyfriend.
The idea that my ex's fiance would think I'd go
anywhere or despite my ex, despite having a boyfriend was
really insulting. So we went to the housewarming and I

(06:08):
ignored them. I didn't care. We are all adults and
I am not going to fuel drama. And my exit
and his fiance her especially, made a fool of themselves,
and at some point even I felt bad because I
saw how desperate she was for my ex's friends to
respect her or take any one of her sentences seriously.

(06:30):
Whoever she tried to talk to ignored her or straight
up walked away. Yikes.

Speaker 3 (06:37):
Well, I mean, YI doesn't sound like a fun time again.

Speaker 2 (06:41):
Peter and my exes friends are a different group and
I'm not friends with them, but the way my ex
let his friends treat his fiance made my blood boil.
I mostly hung out with my friends, Peter's girlfriend's friend
group and I didn't speak or look at my ex once.

Speaker 4 (06:57):
This is where you just had the blat like the
best time of your life, like your glow up. Yeah yeah,
you just look so good, looks like you're having fun
and you.

Speaker 2 (07:04):
Yeah, I feel like you're like laughing in slow motion.
You're doing the whole thing, you know.

Speaker 4 (07:07):
You do the hair twirl.

Speaker 1 (07:08):
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 (07:10):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (07:10):
One time he said hi, and my boyfriend said hello back,
and we didn't see him near us for the rest
of the night. His fiance just asked me if my
dress wasn't a bit too.

Speaker 3 (07:19):
Modest, wasn't a bit too modest?

Speaker 2 (07:22):
Yeah, oh yeah, you're dressing a little bit, a little
bit too covered up. Peter told her everyone there followed
the dress code casual elegant and asked me, I didn't
make the rules, but she didn't. My boyfriend already loathed
my ex, so we did not mingle near them again. Overall,
I had a good time. We even got to leave
early and have some more time to ourselves, watched a movie,
and had a good time at home. However, what pissed

(07:46):
me off was how much of a crappy fiance he
was and how much his fiance was trying to fit
in and baily, and he wouldn't even help her. My
boyfriend isn't just a bookish person. He doesn't fit in
with some pretentious people either, and he's very blunt, so
some people don't like him. Plus he loves video games
and comics, and he has hobbies trekking diving, which scare me,

(08:07):
but we compromise and learn to adjust to each other's interests. Plus,
if someone treats my boyfriend even a little like how
they treat my ex's fiance, I would cut them off,
no questions asked. And I am all already a low
contact with a few friends who judged and made comments
about him in the past. I really hope she leaves
him if she has any dignity, or he gets his
crap together. Like all in all, not my problem, by

(08:30):
the way, what should be your problem is listening to
every episode of this podcast on Spotify and Apple Podcasts.
We literally release twice a day. You can listen while
you're cooking, you can listen while you're cleaning. Christine Armadello
eight twelve says something about the first story and the
modest dress comment has me thinking the new fiance wasn't

(08:51):
a fair partner, and she's always been insecure about Ope.
She's been competing with you longer than you realize. Probably
Pill Michaelson said, yes, I agree with you. It seems
like that girl was the a fair partner of Ope's
ex fiance. That would definitely explain the competition, the insecurity,
why his friends treat her so badly, and why his
parents don't like her.

Speaker 3 (09:12):
Mm oh, crap, I would hope parents don't like getting
within a fair partner.

Speaker 2 (09:19):
It would also explain why he doesn't respect or try
to protect her. Why would he take someone with no
moral seriously? I bet Opie's ex fiance's friends and parents
like OPI More and the girls in the group are
probably making that girl's life hard out of fear that
she'll go after their boyfriends, just like she did with
Op's X. Opie, keep your distance from them. They don't

(09:39):
deserve even a minute of your time and surround miserable
to Sis, who says you handle this perfectly. Part of
me felt like she didn't want you there because she
didn't want the reality check. Because she has, she has
now had the opportunity to see how you interact with people,
how your boyfriend interacts with you and how people interact
with her boyfriend and the parent hawks between your situation

(10:00):
in her situation. It's a shame you block them because
I imagine if they were if there were messages in
back last year's success versus hers, they would have been
glorious to read. But importantly you don't care. In fact,
you have empathy for her. That's great shows how beautifully
you've grown over two years. And Bald forty two says, wow,
you are genuinely a nice person. After she took a

(10:21):
petty dig at you, you are more mad at how
your ex's friend treat her than your ex was. I
think that says a lot about your character and what
a strong and confident person you are. Bravo op and suitable.
Park one eight four says not the a hole for attending,
but I think all of your friends sound like pretentious
a holes. A dress code for a housewarming. We have

(10:41):
dress codes for our party.

Speaker 4 (10:43):
It's called a theme party.

Speaker 2 (10:44):
Yeah like we like say yeah, yeah, we like say
wear fun hats.

Speaker 4 (10:51):
Option.

Speaker 2 (10:52):
But being rude to ignoring someone's partner because they're not
smart enough or interesting enough, No way, no p In
response to a downloaded comment that claimed she hadn't gotten
over her ex says wow, because having empathy if a person,
no matter how they act, is being treated poorly, means
that I have not moved on. Caring about how others

(11:12):
are being treated doesn't always come with ulterior motives, and
my being mad at my ex for being a crap
human being towards fiance has nothing to do with my
non existent feelings for him, but everything to do with
being uncomfortable with another woman being insulted in front of you.
Op taken the high road, tell them off.

Speaker 3 (11:34):
And when they go low, she goes hi, he goes
High's right.

Speaker 2 (11:38):
And that's where that story ends.

Speaker 1 (11:40):
My friend is entitled and I finally broke free.

Speaker 2 (11:44):
Read a story two years have no contact with an
ex friend of mine, Emma, and figured this would be
a good sub to share the story of our friendship.
By the way, this comes from throw a lantern on
the our slash Okay storytime subreddits. Emma was a victim
of bold, so I became her only school friend. Her
parents loved bomb me, buying me lots of gifts, calling

(12:06):
me Emma's savior, and lecturing me about needing to always
support her because she was bullied, et cetera. I didn't
know better at thirteen years old, and I was essentially
being groomed to be Emma's terr oh okay. I also
met Kate, who was Emma's childhood friend, and we became
a cute group of three. But by college I realized

(12:28):
Emma was falling far behind immaturity. Her mom would ask
me to help her poor Emma with basic things like
catch the bus with her or driver even though she
could drive, Even when it was inconvenient for me, like
when I moved out of home and lived an hour away,
her mom would still try to guilt trip me. It
became a one sided friendship. So to help Emma grow up,

(12:51):
I started teaching her and asking her to do things
on her own. But the problems grew, and there is
a story to show that. That's called the travel story.
So we travel with my new college group and they
politely asked me to not invite Emma again because she
would wander off to call her mom and get lost.

(13:13):
She'd lose things, get scammed, or randomly unpack her luggage
in public. She always needed help and it was stressing
me out. Twenty four to seven. She never pitched in
for ubers or food. The hotel mixed up rooms, three
people stuck with a single bed, and Emma got two
king beds to herself, and she refused to swap, which

(13:35):
caused further drama. That's crazy.

Speaker 1 (13:37):
You're a monster if you do that.

Speaker 2 (13:39):
She even interrupted and tried to third wheel my one
date with my significant other. She had been with us
every other meal. She was leaving endless miss calls, pestering
for our location and wanting me to pay for her
uber to meet us. I cried many times on that trip,
and my significant other admitted he dislikes how Emma treats me.

(14:02):
By the end of the trip, Emma was still oblivious,
insisting my stress was caused by being two uptights. Got
another story about how terrible she is her birthday. For
her twenty fifth birthday, she invites me and Kate to
a dinner, but last minute books a five star hotel
room to stay overnight and asks us each to pay.

Speaker 4 (14:21):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (14:22):
I decline, saying I already have plans before my dinner,
and the day after, Kate dms me privately, saying this
is really important to Emma and it will mean a
lot if we did the hotel. Just pay and we'll
do things differently next time. So I gave it and paid.
During dinner, Emma is unimpressed by my gift. That's just

(14:45):
Chanelle lipstick. Alexa's Chanell lipstick expensive. Alexi says is expensive.
Emma says, you guys pay Between the two of you.
I'm the birthday girl.

Speaker 1 (14:56):
I would leave.

Speaker 3 (14:57):
I'd be like, hey, birthday girl, I'm gonna give you
a great gift called a life lesson.

Speaker 2 (15:02):
I say, we should have discussed this beforehand, and they
both turn on me, like, you know, the birthday girl
never pays. While they went to other bars, I faked
feeling sick, went back to the hotel room, calling other
friends in my sixty foot other for support. That's when
I decided to stop being friends, which I think, honestly,
she doesn't sound like a good friend at all. I

(15:23):
left first thing in the morning for another event, upsetting
both Emma and Kate because they expected me to drive
them home. Now we got another story my birthday. In
the end, I hadn't spoken to them for months, but
they eventually reached out wanting to celebrate my birthday. The
event went surprisingly well until the bill I know drake.

(15:44):
They went through two bottles of wine and cocktails. Emma
wanted me to pay What happened to the birthday girl role?

Speaker 1 (15:51):
Yeah? Excuse me? I thought, are we not being consistent here?

Speaker 2 (15:55):
You invited us out, You're the birthday girl treating us
to a night out, hypocrites, and they're the ones who
asked me out. We eventually agreed to pay the food
three ways and they pay for their own drinks, but
Kate's card declined and Emma never pays, so she forgot
her pen.

Speaker 1 (16:13):
No, she did it.

Speaker 2 (16:14):
I ended up paying Kate transferred me immediately, but Emma didn't,
and so began the final chapter. For weeks, Emma kept
dodging my questions to pay me back for dinner and
some concert tickets. She also owed. I even sent my
bank details again and started giving deadlines like please have
this done by tomorrow. Her responses would be like, hey,

(16:34):
how was your weekend? Or just leaving me on red
the audacity scum bait. It's so whack. I eventually called
Emma asking why she can't pay me back, and she
admits she doesn't know how to transfer money. We walked
through it together, but she never makes the payment. I
chased her again on text, and I'm left on read ghosted.

(16:55):
I asked Kate for help and she said, that's weird.
She always pays me back. Hurt to hear. I chased
up Emma again a few days later, left on red again,
and I finally had enough. I sent her both concert
tickets and told her to go with her sister because
I'm not doing this anymore. And then Emma immediately pays me.
Took almost two months and threats. She made all these excuses,

(17:16):
I'm tired, I don't check my phone. You don't know
how hard it is to be a receptionist. I'm a lawyer.
By the way, you expect so much from me. This
outburst has come out of nowhere. I can't believe you're
punishing me, et cetera. I sent her a long text
about everything I had bottled up, including the travel story,
her birthday, my birthday being taken for granted, et cetera,
and then I asked for space. Okay, calls me angrily,

(17:39):
demands I apologize for hurting Emma's feelings. I said, no,
I'm not apologizing for this, and I'd like for both
not to contact me. A few days later, Emma sends
me this big text he apologize has been then accuse
me of being inconsiderate, controlling, and impatient. She justifies never
making an effort by saying she's a guest two events
and trips away while I'm the apparently in charge. She

(18:02):
then says this is all my fault because I should
have been clearer and basically nag her more to make
an effort, plan, pay, et cetera, and that I should
apologize for hurting her and causing drama. She ends her
text passive aggressively with since years so hung up about
this and need me to make more of an effort. Whatever,
I'll plan the next thing. Let's do tomorrow. Where do

(18:23):
you want to go? I'll book again. Cut off, I'll
plan the next thing. Let's do tomorrow. That's not a plan. Instead,
I asked for a month of no contact and she
left me onbred. A month passes and I get another
angry text from her. It's been a month and one
day now, why haven't you reached out? I set I'll
book this time. Stop hiding. We need to meet up

(18:45):
and fight it out. I declined and said the break
helped me realize I was happier keeping our distance for now,
and I wish her well. Her and her family all
immediately blocked me on social media, and that.

Speaker 3 (18:57):
Was got to love when a problem takes care of itself.

Speaker 2 (19:01):
Yeah, obviously I'm well aware of the mistakes I made.
My boundaries are not strong enough. I fell for the
love bombing and shouldn't have felt so guilty about saying no.
But now I know to never do it again.

Speaker 1 (19:15):
Edit.

Speaker 2 (19:15):
This is for anyone interested in the full hotel story.
Emma got with the two king beds. We can dive
straight into this, while three girls from my college group
got stuck sharing a single. Wow. Everyone else were couples
with double beds, so obviously the hotel got the keys
mixed up for Emma and the three girls. Emma was
oblivious at first. Awe sucks for them, but my room
is amazing. It's a massive with a dining table and kitchen.

(19:39):
It got awkward and explained that we needed her to
swap rooms. She'd understand, like, why my room, so I
had to spell it out to her a few times.
She refused to swap because she wanted the space in
the kitchen, and then negotiated the three girls could share
her room, and she didn't want to share with girls
she didn't know. Well, I tried to maintain my composure.
She had been getting on my nerves all day, and

(19:59):
at this this point, the three girls showed up to
negotiate with Emma.

Speaker 1 (20:02):
Two.

Speaker 2 (20:02):
They noticed I was getting agitated and that Emma wouldn't budge,
so they said to forget about it. They'll talk to
the hotel about upgrading their room. After my significant other
even offered to take the single room so that Emma
and I could share our own room, which was an
immediate no from me, especially since I was so irritated
with her. While turned out the hotel was completely booked

(20:23):
out because it's near a huge sporting taste stadium, and
the three girls and I spent an hour downstairs with
one of the hotel managers, and we eventually found out
one of the couple's rooms also had a sofa bed
that could be set up. The couple agreed to swap rooms,
leaving them with a single bedroom and the hotel could
add a spare single to combine it create a double,

(20:44):
but the hotel was short staffed because they were fully
booked and said we'd have to wait until tomorrow to
set it up. I can't remember what the sleeping arrangements
ended up being that night. By the way, if you
want to remember every night how you should go to bed,
because the best way to go to bed is sleepe
to our voices as they lull you into sleep. You

(21:04):
should go listen to our podcasts that we release episodes
on morning and night every single day, including the weekends.
Just look up Okay story Time wherever you get your podcasts. However,
people observed her over the trip and word got out
about the room drama, so they obviously developed opinions about her.
When Emma and I argued after my birthday, I mentioned

(21:25):
this hotel drama to her how it wasn't fair to
the three other girls and other things like never paying
or pitching in, and she asked if the whole group
knew about what happened, and of course I said yes.
She then got angry at me, texting in all caps,
accusing me of character assassinating her that I gossip to
try to ruin her reputation, which is not true. She

(21:47):
did this to herself by refusing to negotiate to with
the other three girls and refused to make any effort wild.
That's where that story ends. My flatmate almost burned down
the apartment, then demanded I pay her fines.

Speaker 1 (22:01):
It's the price of their mistakes.

Speaker 2 (22:03):
So I moved to a new city to finish my
bachelor's degree. This was the last semester and I needed
practical work to gain my last points. I landed a
job in Oslo and found a nice place to live,
sharing a flats with two people. By the way, this
comes from a Cacas ninety two on the r slash
Okay storytime STU about it. So me and the other

(22:24):
girl had a lot in common. We both worked in
the same field. Her front of the house and security
and some venues, and I worked as a lighting technician
freelancing in a few theaters as the temp. We got
along so well that we decided to move out once
our lease was up and rent another place together, only
the two of us, Just the two of us. Around

(22:45):
the same time, she got a new job and she
could work from home and make her own hours. Since
I was happy for her, she would be home way
more than me. We would agree that she could have
the biggest room and rench should still be split equally.
A few months into the three year lead, she started
to change. She got really self centered and I couldn't
stand to be around her. All of a sudden, she

(23:06):
said things like I'm better than you. Oh, my job
is better than your job. I make at least twice
what you make. You're a nobody and can't do anything
for me. This ended in me not wanting to be
around here, and I moved all my stuff into my room,
only going out to use the kitchen in the bathroom.
She also chose to spend thousands of dollars on new

(23:28):
fancy dresses instead of paying me back twenty five dollars
for the internet bill, saying she didn't think it was
important to pay me back and new clothes were more important.
Sorry for the long back story, but I needed to
give you an image of how efm entitled flatmate was
as a person. During our last year living together. I
was working myself hard. Normal hours for a tech in

(23:51):
Norway is thirty five point five hours a week, and
I was working at least eighty hours for over two months,
with only one day off in that entire time span.
That meant I was out the door before seven am
and at home after midnight, so I showered and went
straight to bed. I was too tired to do anything else.
One night, I dreamt of a car alarm and it

(24:14):
didn't stop. Then another sound chimes in, and wait, a doorbell.
This didn't fit my dream, so I woke up. Indeed,
someone was ringing our doorbell and the fire alarm was
going off, the building central fire alarm. My eyes were groggy,
and I went to open the door. It was four am,
and this guy was looking at me. He didn't say
a word, so I asked him, what's going on? Is

(24:34):
it really burning? Remember I've been working over two hundred
percent for two months. The guy just looked at me
with a shock face and said, girl, the alarm is
going off from your apartment. This maybe wake up. I
looked around, and indeed our entire apartment was covered in gray,
thick smoke. I went to the kitchen, as I assume
my flatmate was cooking. No open flames, thankfully, and so

(24:56):
I turned the oven off and opened it, opened all
the windows in the apartment before walking into Sleeping Beauties.
She is a beast by the way room, she had
fallen asleep with a pizza in the oven, and now
the fire department, police and ambulance was on the spot.
The police took statements, and the firemen looked in the
oven and made sure all the windows were open. Things

(25:18):
went on till five am, and she had to take
the blame as it was her fault, or at least
you took the blame. I was offered to be checked
out by the ambulance personnel since I had inhaled a
lot of scope and since I had inhaled a lot
of smoke, but I declined, just wanted one more hours
sleep before I had to leave for another day of work.
I was told to go to the er if I

(25:39):
felt any discomfort throughout the day, as smoke damages can
per Late. That evening, mid second shift, I started having
problems breathing. Oh no, so I finished the show and
my boss sent me off an hour early to go
to the er. I was quickly put on oxygen not
even five minutes after I arrived, and seen by a
doctor two hours later. My throat was swollen from the smoke,

(26:01):
but thankfully no lasting problems and just three weeks of
breathing heavily no lifting. Remember I'm a lighting technician, heavy
lifting a sixty part of my job. My bosses were
really nice about it, and I got to take it
easy the next three weeks. Okay, that's good, that's good.
After hours at work in the er, I came home
to entitled flatmate. She demanded I pay half the fine

(26:24):
she got from the fire department.

Speaker 4 (26:26):
That's your fall. You have a crappy roommate.

Speaker 2 (26:28):
Yeah, I mean she could have unlive me, and now
she's expecting me to pay six hundred dollars. We were close,
I exploded to all of you wanting and dreaming about
going off on entitled person. It felt amazing. I went
on heavily worded anger spree and told her she could

(26:50):
have had me unalived, she could have burned the whole
building down. She had my throat swollen, and she wanted
me to pay six hundred dollars. Even after ranting on
how much more money that she made than me and
that I was basically trash for making so much less
than her, I basically told her to punch off. She

(27:10):
stood there like an idiot, not knowing what to say,
as I went to the bedroom to try to calm
down and get some sleep. Well, So now two years later,
and I'm glad I bought my own place. I'm never
having a flat mate again. She has tried to reach
out to me during this time, and I've just ignored her.
She isn't worth my time. Darn Teuton. I have so
many stories about this girl's entitled behavior since she got

(27:31):
that new job. I believe you treat people the way
you want to be treated, regardless of their work situation.
Just because you got a better paid job doesn't mean
you get to treat me like a cool guy. Just FYI.
I love my work. I love being creative and making
shows magical through lighting. I actually get to do my
passion for a living. So I back again with another

(27:51):
story about my entitled ex flatmate. I'm now a twenty
nine year old woman who works as a lighting technician
in Norway. At the time I lived with this girl,
six years older, I only had a fifty percent steady job.
The rest was on and off and seasonal. Welcome to
the hard lifestyle of a TV theater and event technician.
My last post was the last straw for me, since

(28:11):
she had done this before. But that time I came
home from work in time to stop the fire department
from coming. I already answered some comments about leasing with
her for three years. I know it's a long time.
This was after we had already lived together as good
friends for three years in another apartment. The only thing
that changed was the fact that she got a new

(28:32):
job and suddenly became too important to talk to people
like me commoners, as she could only talk to actors, filmmakers,
and producers. She once told me that I was not
allowed to go to a party for TV and theater
workers because she might go, just I can't with her.
That's another story again.

Speaker 1 (28:48):
I hate that.

Speaker 2 (28:49):
So the posturing is crazy. As said, we had a
three year lease. It couldn't be broken with a three
month's notice. But we both were on the lease and
she didn't want to did almost the entire flat to herself.
I stayed in my room yet paid half of everything.
She had the living room almost all to herself. She
often chose to sleep there instead of her own room.

(29:10):
When we got close to the end of release, I
tried to do the adult thing. I sat her down
to talk to her about my plans moving out, and
I went something like this, me, I've been thinking about
what to do once our lease is up, and I'm
personally ready to buy my own place. My bank has
approved my lone application and entitle oled flatmate says, ohg cool,
let's start looking at apartments. I will not live in

(29:32):
an old one. It needs to be new. And as
she went on, I was shocked. She thought I would
buy it for us or with her and me. I'm
looking for an apartment for me. Entitle flatmate says, oh,
are you serious? You won't buy with me? What am
I supposed to do? Then you know what, It's fine.
I make so much more money than you, so you
will only be able to buy an old, crap one.

(29:54):
Mine will be so much better because I have standards
me Good for you. I got up and walked away.
She was fuming since I didn't give her the answer
or fight she wanted. By the way, you should give
us the answer that we want by listening to her
podcast that we release on every single day. And the

(30:16):
great thing about a podcast is you could just put
it in your ear holes and do other stuff. So
a month later, I bought my first apartment. It's small
and from the fifties, but it's mine. The payments go
to building my own future instead of throwing money at
a landlord, which we don't like to do we like
to build equity? Baby?

Speaker 1 (30:38):
True?

Speaker 2 (30:39):
She happened to see some pictures of my apartment after
I bought it. She came to me and told me
how ugly and old it was, that she was going
to live so much better than me and me this
is what I say, Well, that's your choice. I hear
you're going to spend fifteen hundred dollars a month to
rent in high fashion apartment. That's literally throwing money out

(30:59):
the windows. See you want to buy your own ace?
Oup FYI. My apartment might be sma old and small,
but my total a month is one thousand dollars with
everything included. Most of it goes into my property, which
will only increase in value, has already gone up fifty
k in one and a half years.

Speaker 1 (31:17):
Did you take that deal? I take that deal? Take
that deal? So damn good deal.

Speaker 2 (31:21):
Damn good deal, my first time apartment, and once I'm
good and ready, I can sell it and buy a
new one. That's called real estate investment. It's the smartest
way of saving my opinion. Her face was priceless. She
looks shocked than mad and entitled. Flatmate said I'm going
to live better than you. I can help myself. I

(31:42):
looked at her with a poker face and said the
words that angered her more than anything. Good for you indeed,
and I walked away while her head looked like it
was about to blow off. She is still renting that place,
telling me about it in message I don't apply to
And that is where that story ends. Hey, it's Sam.

(32:05):
We're gonna get back to these stories. But here's three
of us of AADs from our sponsors that keep the
show alive.

Speaker 3 (32:10):
I got kicked out mid wedding by the bride, and
my boyfriend just watched.

Speaker 1 (32:17):
I watched me break up with him.

Speaker 3 (32:19):
He won't be able to watch me break up with
him because I'm gonna do it at the speed of
light today. My twenty four male partner and I twenty
four female. Let's just call him Eric. We were invited
to the wedding of one of his oldest friends from school.
We received our save the eight months ago and the
invite was addressed to Eric and VICKI. By the way,
this comes from user Victoriavichi and you can submit your

(32:42):
stories to the r slash Okay storytime subred. Our invite
stated we were invited for the whole Shebang the service,
the breakfast and the evening reception. Our RSVP required both
of our dietary requirements for the breakfast, which we replied
to ages ago. I thought this was pretty awesome and
generous of the bride and groom, as I had never
met either of them, and Eric was only close with

(33:04):
the bride, so it was a very nice gesture. The
wedding is a few hours away from where we live,
and since neither of us drive, I booked train tickets
in advance, which came to about sixty pounds each return,
and an airbnb which worked out to ninety pounds between us.
We don't earn a lot, so this is quite a
big spend to justify. However, since they had invited us

(33:25):
to the whole wedding, we thought it would be rude
not to go. The bride also specified colors we should wear,
so I bought a new outfit since I didn't have
anything formal that would be suitable. Not the end of
the world, but with Christmas coming up, it was a
bit difficult and I had to be really frugal all
through November to make it work. Total spend was probably
double what I would spend monthly on fun stuff like

(33:45):
going out for dinner or drinks or new clothes. We
got to the service and it was beautiful. The bride
looked lovely and it was very emotional. I get nervous
at weddings. I couldn't say why, and so I had
an eden beforehand, figuring the four course breakfast would fill
me up nicely. So after the ceremony we went straight
into the venue to have drinks and sit down at tables.

(34:05):
We were towards the back of the line into the venue,
so half the congregation had already sat down. We glanced
at the seating plan, saw Eric's name and headed over.
There was no place setting for me. Oh no, at
the wedding you find this out.

Speaker 1 (34:20):
Yeah, this is ridiculous.

Speaker 3 (34:22):
Eric found his name, but there weren't any free seats
at the table. Eric sat down and I asked an
usher whether there was a mistake. He didn't know, so
he waved over the bride. She and I had never
met before, but she seemed friendly until she opened her mouth.
Oh no, you're not part of the breakfast. The invitation
was just for the reception in service. You're welcome to
come back later. This was in front of most of

(34:43):
the guests who had already sat down in a big venue,
probably one hundred and forty ish seats. The usher suggested
I go to the pub. Eric didn't know what to do,
but didn't want to cause a scene, so he stayed
put and stayed quiet. I quite literally have never felt
so embarrassed and humiliated in my life. I left and
it was raining heavily. Oh hadn't brought an umbrella since

(35:03):
it was an indoor wedding and being in a rural place,
I had to walk about twenty minutes to get anywhere else.
The usher had suggested a pub where quote the other
guests are so I just kept walking, but my shoes
were literally ruined and soaked through.

Speaker 1 (35:17):
I'm just picturing poorop just like drenched, looking all sad.
This is devastating.

Speaker 3 (35:22):
This is like want basics one oh one, Like I
would go with your partner when they are like rudely
excluded from the wedding. Uh you go, oh, all right,
we'll come back later.

Speaker 1 (35:35):
I'll go with you. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (35:36):
Not only were my shoes soaked through, but it was
also pretty damn cold because it's December and I was
dressed for a wedding. Got to the pub to find
a handful of merrymakers drinking heavily at two pm in
wedding clothes. Introduced myself kind of awkwardly, as they were
total strangers and they were luckily really nice. They invited
me to sit with them and tell them about the service.
All of them had only been invited to the reception.

(35:58):
I ask one of them if i'd see their invite,
and it was crystal clear that they were evening guests.
There was no mention of the service, or the breakfast,
nor their dietary requirements. I apparently was the only person
who was invited and then uninvited to the whole shebang.
I sat with them and had some food because I
was starving, but they all started leaving to get ready

(36:18):
at about four pm. Being a total stranger, I didn't
think it best to ask to come with them. But
I had never been to this town before, and besides Eric,
I didn't know anybody. Since being ejected at one thirty pmish,
I was expected to just hang out until seven thirty
when the reception started.

Speaker 1 (36:35):
That's crazy, that's insane, I would go, You're supposed to
hang out at a pub for hours, that's ril. I doubt,
no one, and nothing like a book. Yeah. No, so
I left.

Speaker 3 (36:46):
I feel so unwelcome and so unwanted that I just
wanted to go home. The evening will start in about
half an hour without me, but I just can't bring
myself to attend, knowing that half the guests watch me
being asked to leave by the bride herself. Traded in
my train ticket, which was a return for tomorrow, and
I'll be traveling back alone. Immediately, I texted Eric to

(37:06):
tell him, but he didn't respond. I've been holding back
tears since I was ejected six hours ago, and I
feel completely torn. I don't understand what happened with the invite,
whether it was a mistake or whether I was just
supposed to know it was only for Eric, despite being
addressed to both of us, despite asking for both of
our dietary requirements, despite explicitly stating we were invited to

(37:27):
the whole wedding.

Speaker 1 (37:28):
I don't know. That's so confusing, because my immediate thought
would be yet it was probably some sort of miscommunication.
But even if that were true, this is unacceptable. It's
unacceptable to kick someone out and make them wait hours.
That's crazy. Just say like oh, I'm so so like
we don't have enough food, but like you're welcome to stay,
and like we'll try and figure something out. But to

(37:49):
kick them out is insane. But also it doesn't seem
like it was a miscommunication. Part of me feels like
I should have gone to the evening reception too, But
I'm soaked through. My hair and makeup look awful, my
shoes are unw arable. I am now barefoot on a
really gross floor and I'm freezing. I look a mass
and I feel so stupid. Did I mess up here?

Speaker 3 (38:06):
I feel like I've just been totally effed over, And
I'm really upset that Eric didn't stand up for me
or anything and leave the breakfast with me, although I
think that's less because of malice and more that he's
just a bit hopeless when put on the spot. I've
never heard of a wedding where you invite a plus
one by name, but then they aren't invited to as
much of the wedding as the other half of the couple. Yeah,

(38:27):
that doesn't seem like a thing that ever happens. Nobody
else at the wedding had this happen. I don't see
how it can be personal, since I've never met any
of them before. I'm really upset and can't wrap my
head around how weird today has been. If this happened
to you, what would you do? There is an edit
thank you to everyone for your words of support. It's
really helped, and I've gone from a wobbly, wet mess

(38:48):
to a cackling hobby with my big glass of wine.

Speaker 1 (38:52):
Is he's still at the pub? I don't know, maybe
just like sitting in the pup, just like, oh lord,
I was having a terrible day.

Speaker 3 (38:59):
He has, really, I really hope so I can see
that in my head. I hope this's just been reading
Reddit at the public. Oh what a wonderful idea?

Speaker 1 (39:08):
Does charge keep? But I'll take your largest class of
please last five hours?

Speaker 3 (39:15):
Please you guys don't hold back on your opinions, and
I kind of love it. It's now nearly bedtime here.
Eric stayed at the party and is presumably still there.
I came home and feel a lot better for knowing
how a crappy situation this was. Parma's a b and
when they go low, we go high. So I'm going
to go to bed and sleep on it and think
about the next steps in the morning. A lot of

(39:36):
people think I should dump Eric, whereas that had never
crossed my mind. I was mostly pissed off with the
bride in the maid of honor, who may have been
involved too.

Speaker 1 (39:44):
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (39:45):
Eric will be coming home sometime tomorrow and we're going
to talk. I want to hear his peace, because he's
been thinking since lunchtime. He might just be a dumb
dumb rather than a full blown a hole. Either way,
no wind up, sudden decisions right now. I will try
and come back and update as and win anything else happens.
Thanks to everyone, we do have some relevant comments. Plain

(40:06):
Truthiness says The person who messed up was the bride,
who is an utter word I don't use, but she is,
and Eric, who is appalling. I absolutely cannot believe that
he didn't walk out with you. What thatck was he thinking?
Did he use to date the bride or the bride's sister?
Oh p says.

Speaker 1 (40:23):
Funny you say that the Maid of honor is his
ex I suck you'd call it.

Speaker 3 (40:28):
Although we were not aware until we saw her name
in the wedding booklet at the ceremony that she would
even be there. However, there's a lot of bad blood
between them. If she was going to intervene to remove anybody,
it would have been him.

Speaker 1 (40:39):
And we do have an update after that.

Speaker 3 (40:40):
But would the galaxy brained move actually be to exclude
your ex's new partner so that they get upset when
you you also know that your ex is a sucker
for a four course breakfast?

Speaker 1 (40:52):
Agreed?

Speaker 3 (40:53):
Basically, I went to a wedding of my boyfriend's oldest
friend from school and got uninvited from the wedding breakfast
as it was starting. My boyfriend stayed at the wedding.
I hadn't expected this big reaction to my first post
and just wanted to say thanks to everyone who gave
advice and was supportive. I was feeling super crappy when
I initially posted, and after an hour of and reading
your comments, I felt a lot more sane and call.

(41:15):
I wanted to clarify a few things that people were
confused about or that weren't clear in my first post.
I'm in the UK and our weddings are different to
the way weddings are held in the US. Traditionally, there's
a ceremony, the wedding breakfast, which is a sit down
three coals meal. Although it's called breakfast, it's usually in
the afternoon, followed by speeches and then an evening.

Speaker 1 (41:34):
Reception, which is like a disco.

Speaker 3 (41:36):
It's not uncommon for people to invite only relatives and
close friends to the ceremony and breakfast, then invite lots
of evening guests for the reception. However, it is uncommon
to invite somebody to the ceremony and reception but not
the breakfast, as then they are kind of left to
entertain themselves somewhere for six hours. Having talked to friends

(41:57):
and coworkers since last weekend, what happened to me? He
was a serious no no in terms of etiquette. Me
and Eric have been together for nearly a year and
a half. We lived together and we have a pretty
strong relationship. He has no past romantic connections with the bride,
who I'll call Marie, which some people were asking about.
They went to school together from ages four to ten
and remained in touch his pen pals and Facebook friends

(42:18):
since then. They rarely see each other in person, and
the wedding was the first time he would see her
in about two years. There was zero phone signal at
the venue. We noticed this when we arrived for the ceremony,
and we're a little annoyed as the wedding had a
hashtag which we couldn't exactly tweet about with no signal,
which is gonna be important later. We didn't know this
until we arrived at the wedding, but the maid of honor, Helen,

(42:40):
was Eric's ex girlfriend. They were together for three years
and she cheated on him and dumped him. Oo, so
they have a lot of bad blood and do not
have any contact with each other.

Speaker 1 (42:52):
Go onto the update.

Speaker 3 (42:53):
After leaving the ceremony, I got straight on the train
and went back to my hometown. I was on the
train when I wrote my first post. And I got home.
I told my parents everything and they weren't particularly impressed,
and like most of the posters here, they were perplexed
that Eric.

Speaker 1 (43:07):
Hadn't come with me.

Speaker 3 (43:08):
My mom gave me a big hug, ran me a bath,
and poured me a glass of wine, and I just
tried to relax and forget about my day from the
bad place. I hadn't heard from Eric, but texted him
to let him know I was home safe and would
see him tomorrow. Eric texted me back at about nine pm, oh,
asking me what I meant by home ooh, home or
the Airbnb that we had booked nearby to the venue.

Speaker 1 (43:30):
I clarified and he said, okay, I'll see you tomorrow.

Speaker 3 (43:34):
Love you so much XO XO gossip girl. I didn't
really know what to make of it, since the whole
day had just been such a massive f up, so
I finished my watched a Disney movie, and went to bed.
The next morning, given I still hadn't really heard from
Eric at all, I assumed he'd be getting in at
about mid day, so I got up early and started
wrapping Christmas presents. At eight am, I heard a key

(43:56):
in the door, and what do you know, it's Eric,
still in his crew least suit with red eyes, looking
like he wasn't really making sense. So I made him
have a shower and warm up, made coffee, and decided
to talk once he was looking human again. He sat
down together and pieced together his side of the story. Basically,
once I had left, Eric was absolutely livid with Marie.

(44:16):
He had frozen like a deer in headlights when she
was asking me to go, and was kicking himself that
he hadn't done the right thing about ten minutes after
I left, Marie turned around and said, oh, actually a
few people haven't turned up. Get Vicky to come back.
We have space for her now. And Eric had tried
to call me because there was no phone signal anywhere
near the venue, he couldn't get through, and Marie pretty
much immediately said, oh, well, never mind, she didn't want

(44:37):
to be here anyway, which obviously was a pilot crap
and made Eric feel rubbish. The meal was a very formal,
sit down affair, so he just kind of grinned and
bared it, assuming I would be coming back in the evening.

Speaker 1 (44:48):
No.

Speaker 3 (44:49):
No, No, that's WoT I'm that's when you leave as Eric.
As Eric, that's when you leave. Eric was the only
person mentioned in the speeches by Marie's father who wasn't
a family member, and apparently it was clear to everyone
how disappointed he was that I wasn't there to share
it with him. When I texted him at about six
pm to let him know I was going home.

Speaker 1 (45:08):
He never received it.

Speaker 3 (45:10):
He was only able to text me at nine pm
by hiking down the road for five minutes to find
a signal, all the while his ex Helen was being
sickly sweet.

Speaker 1 (45:19):
I hate Helen.

Speaker 3 (45:21):
Helen is the worst, asking where I was, Why didn't
I want to come and enjoy the party? Why was
I shy? Apparently with quite the evil glint in her eye,
like she had gotten exactly what she wanted. Neither of
us knew she was the maid of honor until we
got there, and given their bad relationship, Eric was pretty
pissed off that Marie had failed to mention she had

(45:42):
such a prominent role in the wedding. Whether Helen was
behind the seating error, I don't know, but if she was,
then Marie was just as bad in enabling it to happen.
So Eric stayed at the wedding miserably and went back
to the Airbnb afterwards alone. He barely slept, feeling angry
at Marie and Helen for effing with us, and it
himself for not sticking up for me, and left at

(46:04):
four thirty am to get the first train home. Hence
why he was back at our place so early. He
wasn't really apologetic to me at all. He didn't really
seem to see how it was crappy for me.

Speaker 1 (46:13):
No, he thinks that him going yeah, I felt really
bad is enough he thinks that is an apology, and
it's not. Yeah, it's really it's compacting. I don't care
how bad you felt I was soaked in the rain
and banished from a wedding for no reason exactly.

Speaker 3 (46:27):
He more felt like he had been insulted by the
situation and let down by his oldest friend. He's cutting
off Marie and doesn't want anything.

Speaker 1 (46:35):
Else to do with her.

Speaker 3 (46:36):
So, yeah, that was Eric's take on the whole thing.
To be honest, I was pretty pissed that in all
of this he hadn't really considered how I felt or
what it had been like for me getting thrown out
of the wedding. While what he had gone through was
pretty crummy, he at least had been warm, dry and
well fed. The indignation of your girlfriend being removed from
an event while you're there isn't really as bad as

(47:00):
being the girlfriend getting soaked in the rain feeling humiliated
in all the rest. So we talked and I laid
out why I wasn't okay with what had happened and
why his reaction wasn't okay. He can be a bit
of a lemon sometimes, and this feels like one of
those times. He didn't step up to the plate. He
just let the world wash over him and acted as

(47:20):
a bystander. I'm still hurt by his actions, and he
still hasn't really apologized properly. I don't know if he
understands that he did wrong too, But this isn't a
deal breaker for me. It's a heavy straw on the
camel's back, but the camel is still standing.

Speaker 1 (47:34):
That camel's strong.

Speaker 3 (47:37):
We have a really lovely Christmas coming up, and after
a really long autumn of working hard, all I want
is to go back to the happy place we were
before this messed up, and honestly, I don't want to
think about it. So I know a lot of you
guys are going to drag me over hot coals for
this one, but we're still together.

Speaker 1 (47:54):
By the way.

Speaker 3 (47:54):
I'm going to tell all of you to do something
anything right now, which is that go listen full epes.

Speaker 1 (48:00):
With stories like this. That's what you can go do.

Speaker 3 (48:03):
And you can go do it and have the a
Spotify on Apple podcasts just search Okay Storytime and there
you will find an infinite number of episodes. I Am
not going to break up with him over this, but
it's a big dark mass on his record, almost like
some sort of black omen As far as I'm concerned,
he needs to get a lot of extra credit to

(48:24):
get a pass this year to use a terrible analogy,
and I expect him to step up and really try
to do better from now on. It's not really an ultimatum,
but I'm willing to put this behind us if he
can prove to me that he's invested and trying harder
in this relationship from now on. If he doesn't, then
I won't be sticking around. I love him a lot,
but he needs to have my back and be empathetic
to what I'm going through. I'm sorry that this wasn't

(48:45):
the victorious breakup update so many of you wanted, but
I want a nice, happy Christmas together.

Speaker 1 (48:50):
God dang it, that's what I want. Happy Christmas. I
know you want breakup. I want happy Christmas.

Speaker 3 (48:56):
I'm not ruling it out as an option if things
don't improve, but I want to give him another chance
to prove this relationship is worth it. And here's a
top comment from throw the Switch. Things to think about.
If Marie said only ten minutes after you left that
you could stay, why didn't he come and physically find you.
After his call didn't go through.

Speaker 1 (49:14):
Why didn't he.

Speaker 3 (49:14):
Try and find signal to call you again? Only five
minutes away until it was nine pm?

Speaker 1 (49:19):
My questions, my questions.

Speaker 3 (49:21):
Precisely, it does seem like he really fumbled.

Speaker 1 (49:25):
Yeah, he didn't even fumble. He threw that ball on
the floor and went, oh no, it fell, and then
you watched it roll.

Speaker 3 (49:31):
Another comment from it's all mine now. So I know
a lot of you guys are gonna drag me over
hot coals, but we're still together. Yeah, that's the important thing.
You haven't lost him. As for dragging you over coals,
You're going to be the one to live with this selfish,
conceited carpet. So really, there's nothing more I can add
that would push the point home more than some more
occasions where he just dumps you at the side of

(49:51):
the road because he's offended by how they disrespected him
by treating you badly. Throw the Switch's comment makes a
good point. He didn't even try to catch you up,
go down the road to contact you, or even leave
in disgust, because all he could think about was his
own hurt feelings. You've got a great life coming, oh,
he says, I have a set deadline in my head
where I need to see significant improvement in a few
areas of the relationship, which I have told him is

(50:13):
important if you want just to stay together, And if.

Speaker 1 (50:16):
That doesn't happen, I'm gone.

Speaker 3 (50:18):
This is good. If he messes up big time before
then I'm gone. Just giving him one last chance to
pull himself up by his bootstraps and prove it's worth
staying for.

Speaker 1 (50:26):
I think they're staying together a bit like with a
lot of like you are on probation.

Speaker 3 (50:30):
Yeah, thin ice type scenario. That is the end of
that story for us.

Speaker 1 (50:36):
Hey, it's John here. We're gonna get back to the stories.

Speaker 2 (50:38):
Put a quick three minute ad break from our sponsors
that keep the show going.

Speaker 1 (50:42):
I made a list of people I won't invite to
my wedding because they didn't invite me to theirs. A
little eye for an eye action, a little Hamma, Robbie's Code.
I put Wood in the title because it hasn't happened
or been an issue yet, because I have been moving
in the shadows and only a few people know. Oh,
he's like, so I I haven't had my wedding yet,
nor been engaged, but I have a little death note

(51:05):
list of all the people that won't be invited.

Speaker 3 (51:08):
I have been the moving within the shadows.

Speaker 1 (51:12):
So it's a perfect time to see if this is
just a mee thing. Let's get started, shall we. By
the way, this comes from Any Advance eighty two fifteen
and if you want to submit your story, go to
Okay Storytime. Separate it. I am a twenty two year
old female who always had a rather large and confusing family.
My fiance and father of my child is twenty six
and he is socially awkward and has an extremely small

(51:34):
family that has very few events in the year. Now
for the juice, I have this giant family with multiple
newly weds. I still have never been invited to a wedding,
not one time. From the time I was eighteen until
about twenty there have been a few, and I really
didn't think about these too much. I was hurt, but
figured it was due to not being old enough to drink. However,

(51:55):
when I turned twenty one, I still was not invited
to weddings. I turned to self reflection and thought I
was the problem. Dang is it?

Speaker 2 (52:03):
Me?

Speaker 3 (52:04):
Am I unwedding invitable?

Speaker 1 (52:06):
But I couldn't pin it to anything, as the last
time I was at a family party that wasn't the
yearly reunion, I was maybe fourteen years old. We live
three hours away from the rest of my family. I
live with my parents and they get invited to these
events and I am active on Facebook with them. The
straw that broke the camel's back was my cousin Rob
getting married when I was little. Rob was one of

(52:28):
my closest cousins, as though we have a bit of
an age gap. He was sweet and kind to me,
and he saved me from drowning at the beach, so
he was like my hero and I always loved bringing
it up. Rob was getting married to Alexa, and my
parents got an invite specifically stating both of their names
without a plus one or a children or anything, meaning
I wasn't invited. I was heartbroken. I felt so strange

(52:51):
about it and had what did I do? Attitude. The
aftermath of the wedding was messy in drama, and I
gained a clearer picture of what actually happened. Remember I
said my family was confusing. That's because Rob is the
son to my mother's oldest cousin and my father's youngest aunt. Mmm,
don't worry, they aren't related and they met naturally about

(53:11):
a decade after the wedding. Due to this, I am
the only cousin he has on both sides of the family,
and this means that both sides of my family were invited.
Turns out I was literally the only cousin that wasn't
invited on both my mom and dad's side. So you
had two chances to be invited to this wedding. You
were on both sides, you're related to both sides, and

(53:32):
they did invite you.

Speaker 3 (53:33):
Does Opie have the thing where it's like people forget
you exist as soon as you stop looking at.

Speaker 1 (53:38):
That's what I had, the exact exact same thought.

Speaker 3 (53:40):
Yeah, like, no joke exactly, just like this is as
soon as you're remember the vision, they're like, that person
doesn't exist anymore.

Speaker 1 (53:48):
Oh it's you. I haven't seen you in so long.

Speaker 3 (53:50):
Oh, my n they're gone and they're gone forever, like
the silence.

Speaker 1 (53:53):
Oh and it's back, it's gone. Major WTF. And what's
even stranger is that no one except my grandmother's sister,
Rob's grandmother and my aunt Mary and his parents knew
that Rob and Alexa were purposely leaving out family, saying
it was their day. Rob also left out most of
his grandfather Bob, aunt Mary's husband family, inviting maybe two

(54:15):
out of all of them. My Aunt Mary and my
uncle Bobby were offering to pay for extra spots like
me and a few of Uncle Bob's relatives. Even Rob's
mother and father we weighed in on cutting off a
few people while the wedding was literally huge. Both sides
of my family are easily seventy five plus side, and
that's not even Alexi's family. Rob insisted that it's what
they wanted and no one even if they were paying

(54:37):
for things as a say, and that's honestly fair. It's
their day, and I really just wanted them to be happy,
so I didn't tell anyone how I felt. Sounds like
it's not you though, it sounds like it's them. Yeah,
it sounds like a not it's clearly not a you thing.
Until my Aunt Mary spilled all the beans to my grandmother.
She admitted to knowing and Rob refusing her offer, and

(54:58):
that she just held her tongue. After that, she told
my grandmother that she suspected that it really was just
Rob pleasing his wife and her being the actual Bridezilla.
They rejected a few plus ones due to the plus
ones being new significant others. People ended up not going
because of the fact that they couldn't bring their dates,
like who does that?

Speaker 3 (55:16):
Yeah, oh, your significant others too new.

Speaker 1 (55:19):
They can't come.

Speaker 3 (55:20):
We need we need a significant other with a little
more patina on it, a little more what's the resume?

Speaker 1 (55:26):
Like rougher around the edges. When my grandmother brought up
me the only person on both sides, my aunt couldn't
put her finger on anything except the fact that Alexa
joined my father's side of the family mean girl Click,
which included very salty and Braddy cousin that was the
sister Rob. All of my family can verify the adjectives
used to describe her, and this group repeatedly has openly

(55:48):
ignored me and been rude since I could remember. It
hit me that they really have had time to discuss me,
as the last occasions I have been to was a
funeral and the yearly family reunions. I don't know what
the deal is, but after this I went on a
factory reset and made a rule, don't invite me to
your wedding. I ain't inviting you to mine. That's a

(56:09):
fair rule. That's a fair rule. Fair rules.

Speaker 3 (56:11):
I bye for an eye I or a no no
wedding or a no wedding.

Speaker 1 (56:18):
After his wedding, more weddings happened and same thing. No
invite for me, but my parents and grandparents are invited.
What is going on? I'm so confused.

Speaker 3 (56:26):
I am Also, there's like a lot of different like
cousin and grandparent parent, yes, no, maybe so no invites
for ropy everyone in the Western hemisphere introp so.

Speaker 1 (56:38):
Every time I make a mental note to not invite them.
And Rob wasn't the only close cousin, mind you, just
one with the drama to really make me realize that
none of it is me, nor is it worth worrying
over just keeping track of all the no invites. I
told my grandmother that told me the tea, and she
was all here for it. She actually refused to go
to a few of the recent weddings because they didn't

(56:59):
invite me. My other grandmother on my dad's side, Katie,
is very iffy, mind you. This is both of my
family sides, just my mom's side has been having a
lot more Grandma Katie really thinks that it's an a
whole thing to do to actually sit there and invite
parents or siblings of a person and not them just
because they didn't invite me. I told her that it's
not fair because of all their excuses could easily be mine,

(57:22):
and that my wedding was not going to be a
people pleasing event.

Speaker 3 (57:25):
Put your foot down exactly what. My wedding is not
an event to please you.

Speaker 1 (57:30):
Oh, my wedding's about me. What really sold it for
me was my baby shower. My mother invited everyone. When
I say everyone, I mean everyone, every state lived in,
All members of the family, even girlfriends and fiances were invited.
Probably over two hundred invites, and maybe thirty people actually came.
Many didn't reply and didn't show up. Out of my

(57:52):
dad's entire family, my grandmother, aunt, cousin, and my grandmother's
neighbor showed up. Grandma Katie was shocked when she realized
that out of her sisters and multiple cousins and nieces,
only four people showed up. After this, she still thinks
I'd be mean, but she understands that I really am
the odd one out, but she doesn't want me to
stoop to their level. So I note the mean girls
circle is real, and I found out even more recently

(58:15):
they excluded me from a baby shower even though I
invited all of them and none of them showed up.
I don't think I am. I'm just not having people
who don't think of me or invite me to their
wedding at mine. I expressed this to my man and
he said, they're just jealous of you your looks and personality,
and they think you'll out shine them by just being
there f them. I can marry you, however, just be

(58:37):
happy with your decision. He's on the spectrum. So this
is really sweet. Just this might be petty, I know
that much. But am I actually being an a whole?
And you know what's never an a whole? Move listening
to full episodes with stories like this, Just go to
Okay story Time on Apple podcasts, Spotify or wherever you
listen to your podcasts.

Speaker 3 (58:57):
But there is a little bit left the story of
any final thoughts. Yeah, it's your husband's right. Just make
sure that you want to marry your husband. Yeah, it's
not fair. And it's like, I don't know if there's
any way to you know, really undo this other than
to just remove yourself from the equation, make yourself unavailable,
to be excluded by just excuting yourself in a way,

(59:17):
you know, to like people out. These people want nothing
to do with you, and that's clear. It's so just
fine whatever, don't have anything to do with them. But
there is a little bit left to this story.

Speaker 1 (59:26):
Side note. It's petty, I know, but I have two
family members who got engaged recently to different people. I
don't know how to make it not sound like they're
marrying each other. And I'm patiently waiting to cross their
name off my list or write a loving and a
heartfelt option about how they were the first people to
invite me on their separate weddings. It was like I've
but they got a really nice response, or like, oh

(59:46):
out tear them down. You know it's bad when my father,
the most drama free person, says, hey, your cousin just
got engaged. I wonder if you're invited comments fun yellow
six by seven six says it's your wedding, and by
people you want there. It's obvious that your family didn't
want you there, and to that reason, it doesn't matter.
April arts he says not the a hole. That was

(01:00:07):
a lot to read, though, But really, if your family
members are childish enough to not let you attend their
weddings because of some weird crossover relations, that's on them.
I'm all buying the idea it's your big day, only
invite who you want. But these types of back and
forth reasonings only complicate things and people end up getting
their field in the end. If you feel that you

(01:00:28):
wouldn't be happy with them at your wedding, don't invite them,
plain and simple. Boom, get that, and that is the
end of that story. But for panel man, yeah, that's
they beat your family kind of sucks.

Speaker 3 (01:00:39):
Don't want them there, them, don't want them there.

Speaker 1 (01:00:43):
I can't believe none of them invited you, Like, for
you to not be invited to any of these parties
is wild.

Speaker 3 (01:00:48):
He's just like really hot, smart, successful one and all
the other ones are just jealous, man.

Speaker 1 (01:00:54):
But that is the end of that story.

Speaker 3 (01:00:57):
My mother started a drama over our wedding cake. Now
I wish that we had just eloped.

Speaker 1 (01:01:04):
Ain't that always the wish in these stories.

Speaker 3 (01:01:06):
My fiance and I got married this fall, and the
cake has been a huge point of contention with my
mom long saga, but the gist of it is that
we wanted a dessert bar or cheesecake instead of a
traditional cake. My mom initially insisted on having at least
a small cake just for us to cut, so we
compromised and got quotes.

Speaker 1 (01:01:27):
By the way, this comes from.

Speaker 3 (01:01:28):
User Lali lu who and you can submit your stories
on the r slash Okay storytime suburd. Right before we
put a deposit down, she decided that having just a
cake for us and not for guests is tacky, so
we needed to get a sheet cake to serve as well.
We were annoyed because she was the one to suggest it,
so we just cut our losses and opted to a

(01:01:49):
tiered cheesecake and mini cheesecakes as we originally wanted. My
mom would not let this go for the past six months.
She then decided to focus on pushing for a grooms cake.
My fiance did not want one. When I told her this,
she said, it's quote really only a Grooms cake in
name and not about what he wants. I told her

(01:02:10):
a firm no multiple times, because she just wouldn't give up.

Speaker 1 (01:02:13):
That brings us to this week.

Speaker 3 (01:02:15):
I got a text yesterday saying she was at the
bakery and paid for the order. I got suspicious because
I never included her in those communications. I called the
bakery today and was told by a very apologetic employee
that my mom had added a multi tiered grooms cake
with different fillings, flowers, the whole kit and kaboodle. We

(01:02:35):
still have cheesecake, but I feel like it'll look silly
next to what is essentially a wedding cake. My question
now is what do I do. She doesn't know that
I know. I'm furious and hurt. Obviously it's just a cake,
but it's not really about that. She went behind my
back and crossed multiple boundaries after I told her. No
am I being a bridezilla for not letting her have

(01:02:56):
her traditional wedding cake. Knittinator says, can and cancel it
now and give all your vendors a password that must
be given before any changes are made. That's a good
that's good advice. Acidic Talk says, change the delivery location
to a shelter or food bank. That is double good advice.
And here is the update. Hello again, a big thank

(01:03:17):
you to everyone who gave advice on my original post.
I'm now married and had the best, most relaxing honeymoon
with my now husband without any pesky family bothering us.
By the time I posted, it was too late to
cancel the wedding due to deposits and contracts, so it
continued as planned. To clarify, yes, my parents did pay
for the wedding, although my husband and I made it

(01:03:39):
clear several times that we didn't expect or need them to.

Speaker 1 (01:03:42):
Pay for everything.

Speaker 3 (01:03:43):
No, I don't think them paying excuses my mom's actions.
My parents reiterated that it was our wedding and we
should do what we wanted. Clearly, the cake was the
exception to this, though she had previously said to get
cheesecake if that's what we wanted. So it sounds like
the messages there she just couldn't help herself.

Speaker 1 (01:04:01):
She's like, this is your wedding, except for the cake.
That's mine.

Speaker 3 (01:04:04):
My husband and I got a laugh out of everyone's
suggestions for how to handle the cake. Initially, I wanted
to go the petty route and surprise my mom by
calling the bakery to change the cake designed to something
she would find taki that would reflect my husband's hobbies,
you know, like a groom's cake should do. After taking
a few days to weigh my options, I knew my

(01:04:25):
desire for petty satisfaction would nuke my relationship with my mom,
which had truthfully never had this dynamic up until wedding planning.
I knew that she absolutely was the one in the
wrong and acting like a child, and while I'm the
actual child in the relationship, I wanted to be mature
and handle this like an adult, if only for my
own moral high ground. I communicated with my parents, enlisted

(01:04:48):
all the reasons why this situation and others throughout the
wedding planning process was hurtful and completely out of line.
Shock of the century to everyone on Reddit, I'm sure
it didn't go well?

Speaker 1 (01:04:59):
What not? Oh, no way and disbelief. Your mother, who
went against your wishes, didn't respond well to criticism.

Speaker 3 (01:05:09):
Oh my head is spinning, My my head is reeling.

Speaker 1 (01:05:13):
What is the ceiling?

Speaker 3 (01:05:15):
There was a series of texts I received from my
mom that demonstrated she couldn't take accountability or comprehend that.
I wasn't mad that she ruined my wedding by ordering
a cake, but rather that she went behind my back
knowing it with surprise and upset me on my wedding day.
I attempted multiple times to redirect to the actual issue,

(01:05:35):
with little success. We ended the conversation with her apologizing
for a cake, making my husband and me so upset.
This obviously wasn't a genuine apology or the main issue,
even if she thought it was. She also agreed to
move the groom's cake to a meal we had the
day before the wedding, which I was fine with. At
this point, we were a week out from the wedding
and the thought of continuing to press the issue was

(01:05:57):
too much for me to handle with everything else on
my plate. I dropped the rope leading up to the
wedding so I could refocus on enjoying my wedding as
best as I could. I interacted with my mom as
little as possible the day of, and our wedding party
and coordinator did a fantastick.

Speaker 1 (01:06:11):
Job being a buffer.

Speaker 3 (01:06:13):
While I've had some contact with her since, it has
dramatically declined so I can get some much needed space. Obviously,
we'll need to have some tough conversations, but I'm choosing
to spend my time with my new husband and getting
back into therapy. Weddings. Man, they really bring out the
Grazian people, Ain't that the truth? Oh and by the way,
the cheesecakes were a huge hit. Missus Neville Bartos says,

(01:06:35):
I'm glad you had the day you wanted and enjoyed
your honeymoon. Unfortunately, although previously this wasn't the dynamic you
had with your mother, the fact she refused to see
her error and wasn't apologetic, Well, if I were you,
I would bear that in mind for the future and
plan accordingly. Landerson four h seven says it will likely
rear its head again if and when you talk to

(01:06:56):
her about respecting your parenting boundaries. If that's the thing
you plan on doing. Ohp says oh absolutely. The lack
of respecting boundaries and breaking trust for future life events
was actually something I pointed out in our conversation. She
didn't seem to understand the point I was making, just
kept going back to the cake and not the deeper issue.
And we have a update a year down the line. Woo,

(01:07:20):
let's get into it freaking new. I'm back with a
one year update on how my mom changed my wedding
cake order without me knowing. So people have reached out
for an update, and coincidentally, I've had several friends get
engaged who have similar family dynamics as mine. I've shared
all of this with them, but I feel the need
to blast this online too. Now that I'm a year out,

(01:07:42):
I can acknowledge that I love my husband and our
life together, but having a.

Speaker 1 (01:07:46):
Traditional wedding was a big mistake. WHOA.

Speaker 3 (01:07:50):
When I think back on our wedding day, I am
devastated to admit that the few emotions I remember from
that day were not how much I love my now
husband and the excitement over our future together, but anxiety
over my mom and whether crap was about to blow up.
If you're recently engaged and have difficult family relationships or
aren't completely sold on shelling out a ton of money

(01:08:12):
for a wedding, please let this be another loud voice
yelling at you.

Speaker 1 (01:08:16):
Eloe Elope. You had all three days.

Speaker 3 (01:08:22):
Today's the first day you will, Eloe, have a courthouse wedding.
Don't invite problematic guests. Do whatever you want to do,
but for the love of God, avoid that family drama
at all costs. I wish I would have stuck to
what I originally wanted eloping somewhere abroad. But alas, I
made my decision and have to accept it. What I

(01:08:43):
didn't mention in my initial posts was that my relationship
with my mom immediately and irrevocably changed as soon as
I became engaged. Even though I knew she could be
a lot, I had no idea what I was in for.
If I could do it all again, I would have
stopped that wedding planning train in its track after the
first few signs of craziness. The cake was, unsurprisingly just

(01:09:05):
the last straw of craziness that happened. Greatest hits include
telling literally and I mean literally everyone, she knew that
we were getting engaged less than ten minutes after my
husband told my parents he planned to propose, sharing the
proposal photos with her, commenting on how big I looked
in the photos, which are to this day ruined for me.

(01:09:27):
Told a family member who commented on how beautiful I
looked at a pre wedding event. Yeah, well she gained
a lot of weight.

Speaker 1 (01:09:33):
Oh so so this isn't just the cake issue, this
is her being terrible throughout. Yeah, she just sucks.

Speaker 3 (01:09:38):
Tried to crash my first look the day of my
wedding and acted hurt that she wasn't invited, did crash
my first look, and through a fit when my wedding
coordinator wouldn't let her in, made the wedding all about
how she never had to say in anything, and that
I was the controlling, immature one. We still do have
contact today, but it's limited and I am very guarded
with what I choose to share. Ever genuinely apologized or

(01:10:01):
acknowledged the stress and hurt she caused, short of some
major changes on her part, I don't see that happening.
By the way, I can see you listening to full
episodes with stories like this whenever you want.

Speaker 1 (01:10:15):
All you need to do.

Speaker 3 (01:10:16):
Is go to Spotify or Apple Podcasts or wherever you
get your podcasts from and search. Okay, story time, and
we do have a little bit more of the story here,
Oh man man, do you have any thoughts?

Speaker 1 (01:10:26):
Do you have any parting thoughts? My parting thoughts, Sara,
that your mama showed her true colors and she's not
supportive of you, and she puts you down and that's
not okay.

Speaker 3 (01:10:36):
So yeah, more of the story is to absolutely soak
up the fresh excitement of getting engaged. But seriously, ask yourself,
if there's anyone in your life who will make wedding
planning a living nightmare. If you're oh so fortunate to
have a character like that, have a plan to handle
it and be prepared to enforce those boundaries. And for

(01:10:57):
the extra crazy families out there, maybe just Elope, that
would be my advice. Honestly, that's the end of that story.
My advice is, have one wedding that's just not even
a wedding, it's just you eloping with your partner. You
get to have all of the specialness between the two
of you, and then do another one where everything's already
done and it's just a bonus west it's a party.

Speaker 1 (01:11:18):
But that is the end of that story, and the
end of this episode, is it. Yes?

Speaker 3 (01:11:22):
Oh well, if you love us, make sure you subscribe
We love you and see you tomorrow.

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}My ex DEMANDED that I skip a housewarming party… because his fiancée is uncomfortable with me! - r/BestofRedditorUpdates | Reddit Stories | EP2046