My mother-in-law keeps OVERSTEPPING my parenting… I finally stood my ground! | Reddit Stories | EP2059 - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, this is Sam. This is a John your og
Okay Storytime podcast host, and we got some great stories
coming up. Before that, we have a quick two minute
break from the sponsors that keep the show a lot.

Speaker 2 (00:09):
My mother in law keeps overstepping my parenting. I finally
stood my ground.

Speaker 3 (00:14):
Girl.

Speaker 4 (00:15):
Why don't you take three steps back real quick?

Speaker 5 (00:17):
Three SATs back and then what that's it?

Speaker 4 (00:19):
Just through suspect overstepping.

Speaker 2 (00:22):
This weekend, we the husband, daughter four years old, and
son eleven months are going camping. Yay. We're meaning mother
in law and father in law out there, followed by
sister in law and her fiance. Possibly some friends as well,
but probably not overnight, so mainly I'll be stuck with
the in laws all weekend. Yay. By the way, this

(00:42):
comes from Fickle Lion Art and if you want to
submit your own stories, go to our slash Okay Storytime Separate.
So the camping spot is literally in the middle of nowhere.
You drive through a very tiny, thin path that fits
one vehicle at a time, very slowly, for about an
hour and a half to two hours. Then you suddenly
come to a huge opening with a gorgeous beach and
a lake It's our favorite spot and we go every

(01:05):
year except last year because I was super pregnant with
our second baby, which is part of my issue.

Speaker 4 (01:10):
What you keep getting pregnant.

Speaker 2 (01:12):
I consider myself to have a fairly shiny spine, now
getting shinier with every interaction with mother in law. However,
I never used to have one. In fact, for the
entire time my daughter has been growing up until this year,
I add what I referred to as a limp noodle
spine when it came to mother in law. She has
an obnoxiously ginormous and loud presence slash personality, and is

(01:33):
the main character in every room she steps in. Because
of this, when my daughter was growing up, my mother
in law boundaries, stomped constantly and basically took over as
if she were the mom. I honestly feel like she
likes to play mommy with my kids. It's gross and weird.
She's always posing with them for photos as if she's
the mom, saying things like, oh, don't worry, Grammy just

(01:53):
has to walk away for a second, but I'll be back.
Don't be sad. Meanwhile, they don't even care or no
she's walking away. She just acts like she's number one
in their life. Or tell grammy, Grammy, we'll help you
what you need, Grammy, we'll get it for you, which
sounds nice and innocent enough, but I swear she does
it in a way that pushes me aside and makes

(02:15):
it seem like she's drilling into my kid's head to
go to Grammy and not mom for things. If that
makes sense, If we.

Speaker 4 (02:22):
Get like a big jump in time, yeah, this might
be a problem because imagine if the kids do go
to Grammy, Grammy, I need to get out of jail.

Speaker 2 (02:31):
Grammy, Well that's actually, you know, kind of sucks for Grammy.
Just always deal with them.

Speaker 4 (02:36):
Well, they always go to Grammy, and then you don't
know that your child.

Speaker 2 (02:39):
Is in jail.

Speaker 4 (02:39):
Is in jail.

Speaker 2 (02:40):
So when we used to go camping with my firstborn,
she ruined so many experiences by just being herself, being
her usual overtaking and shout about me self. For example,
my daughter has never been cuddly or affectionate, and when
she is, it's a rare and cherished moment for me.
She would be snuggling me around the campfire before bedtime,

(03:01):
and mother in law would come marching across the circle
to us literally saying something like oh, she cuddly, I
want cuddles and just take her out of my arms
and walk back to her seat, which left me so shocked.
I couldn't even move or speak because doubles, WTF.

Speaker 4 (03:18):
It's just the weekend. It's just the weekend. It's just
the weekend.

Speaker 2 (03:22):
She's constantly going on about how she's the best swimmer ever,
and I was trying to show my todler some I
was trying to show my toddler some tips like punting
your feet and floating, super basic stuff, and she kept
trying to take over, making it seem like I know
nothing in comparison to her. Dude, dude, I would not

(03:44):
want this leady around my shit, my children.

Speaker 5 (03:45):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (03:46):
Also, like, get your own kids, get your own kids.
You got to be your grandma. You know what grandma's
You already had your kids. What her grandma's do, Sofia, they'd.

Speaker 2 (03:52):
Like give money or something, yeah, candy, Yeah, and they
give candy.

Speaker 4 (03:56):
Yeah, they don't. Mother.

Speaker 5 (03:57):
They pinch your cheeks.

Speaker 2 (03:59):
And then you watch TV.

Speaker 5 (04:01):
No, they it's like soap operas like.

Speaker 4 (04:04):
Oh yeah, the Young and Russells and dude, I stayed
up to date.

Speaker 5 (04:08):
With all of the young wrests and the price is right.

Speaker 6 (04:10):
Bro.

Speaker 2 (04:12):
I always watch Deal or No Deal Master Chef and
like I dream of Jeanie. Wow, those were the those
were the essentials.

Speaker 5 (04:22):
Sounds like Rally and I had the same grandma.

Speaker 4 (04:24):
Yeah that sounds really somehow. Sometimes get to watch like
really old seventies.

Speaker 5 (04:29):
Yeah, yep, even like really old, like like I love
Lucy Good. Yeah, Genie is a really old one one,
but like yours is a specific young and the restless
got me invested as an eight year old.

Speaker 2 (04:43):
I'm not sure how to explain it, but she makes
everything about her and calls all the attention to herself.
She will follow my kids around and hover over them
and then sit right back beside them, breathing down their
necks so she can be all, oh, look at me,
it's me with the kids. Look at me building sand
castles or blowing bubbles or swimming or whatever I'm doing.

(05:04):
No matter what I do, she inserts herself. Even when
I try saying something to my kids, she's right there
beside me, repeating it but changing it to say, yeah,
yelling makes Grammy sad. If I just told them when
you yell, it makes people feel sad. It's like she's
grooming Slash manipulating them to revolve around her, like I
feel like she did Slash does to my husband. I

(05:26):
hope that makes sense. She's always lunging at me and
others like a maniac. For my second baby, constantly leaping
at whoever has him with her arms out frantically saying
I take him, which sounds fine, but I also literally
will be standing beside her, and she deliberately keeps walking
away and rolls her eyes when I follow her. Or

(05:46):
if she needs to give him to someone else for
a moment to do something, she pretends I'm not there
with my arms out for him and asks people to
take him until someone else takes him. That's his mom,
give him to his mom, or if I grab him
from her, she acts annoyed and pissy that I took
him and acts like I'm a witch, and then wonders
why I never want to give her to him, du her,

(06:07):
or want her near us me and my baby, because
she acts so friggin weird. At least I think that's
weird behavior. So anyway, I know, dang well, she's going
to do this again with my son, and it's his
first time camping, and he's my last baby. Like I said,
I have more of a spine now, so I'm looking
forward to going and getting a redemption first, I guess.

(06:27):
But I feel like a new mom now that I'm
able to speak up and not feel uncomfortable for saying no.
But I'm still worried about her behavior because she is
relentless and gives zero fs about no's and boundaries.

Speaker 4 (06:40):
Have you ever been a part of a family where
a certain family member will care about a child whenever
they're young, like a baby, up until they're about four,
and then they don't really care about them and they're
very protective of them at that age.

Speaker 2 (06:55):
Yeah, they just got like baby fever, but then they're like, Okay,
this is like a this is like a child.

Speaker 5 (07:00):
Allow.

Speaker 4 (07:01):
Yeah. I would like to know how mother in law
treated her Opie's husband later in life and seeing what
kind of patterns we got going here, because you can
kind of tell what this mother in law's going to
do with your kids. Be like, do I want that
those effects that my husband went through to my for
my children to go through?

Speaker 7 (07:19):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (07:19):
I mean it's just like I think, if she can't,
if she can't listen to the boundaries that you guys
are trying to set. Then maybe she doesn't get to
be around the kids.

Speaker 4 (07:28):
Yikes.

Speaker 2 (07:29):
Since we are in the middle of nowhere, stuck together,
we're not camping in the same thing. We have a
pop up trailer and she is a tent, but we're
still camping very close beside each other. I don't want
to ruffle too many feathers, so I'm looking for things
to do slash say to make her back off when
she starts interfering with me making memories with my kids
and undermining my parenting. I don't want it to cause

(07:50):
awkwardness or a big fight or anything. I just want
to deliver the message that she needs to back off.

Speaker 4 (07:59):
Do we let our chronic pepee overtake us and we
say and we beat around the bush saying it? Or
do we just go ahead and say it?

Speaker 5 (08:07):
Can you just under it?

Speaker 4 (08:08):
Yeah? How would you say it?

Speaker 2 (08:10):
I think you said you go up to La La
and you say, hey, it seems like you know I've
repeatedly talked to you about how you've been pushing me,
sidelining me while I'm trying to parent, and if you
continue to do this, I'm not gonna allow you to
be around my kids, and you make sure that your
partner's on the same page too.

Speaker 4 (08:29):
Also, is this we're just on this trip for a
weekend though, right? Yeah? I think we can do it.
I think we can do it.

Speaker 2 (08:37):
Can we do it? Can we do it?

Speaker 6 (08:38):
Is this?

Speaker 4 (08:39):
Am I am? I kind of being crazy? Can we
get through this?

Speaker 2 (08:42):
Some people? I feel like we could get through a weekend?
But how many weekends do you have to get through?
You know, like there's always going to be another mountain,
You're always gonna want to make a move.

Speaker 4 (08:53):
Dang.

Speaker 2 (08:54):
Also, for the record, a husband is on my side.
It took a long time, but he has my back now.
But also note that because of this, she has been
relentlessly pushing back at both of us ten times harder
because she knows we are more solid and when we
aren't taking crap, and we aren't taking crap anymore, and
she hates it. So now we have to deal with

(09:14):
her being extra wild with kid number two. I can't
just leave and go home on a whim. Once we
go out, we are out there for the weekend and
also for the poor, for the poor mother in law
people out there. She does get her grandma time and
will get plenty of moments with my kids over the weekend.
She also lives ten minutes away and sees them in

(09:34):
overwhelming them out every week. I just feel like she
doesn't also need to interfere with my time as their
mom or take over the whole weekend. And lastly, father
in law is amazing and respects all the boundaries and
rules even if he doesn't understand or agree, but unfortunately
he's an enabler to mother in law. And sister in

(09:55):
law and fiance are also great. It's literally just mother
in law who's horrible. And there is an update, But
do you have any thoughts?

Speaker 4 (10:03):
What do you think you on?

Speaker 5 (10:04):
Just push her?

Speaker 2 (10:05):
I mean like.

Speaker 5 (10:07):
Get her away, get her away because you don't want
to imprint kind of like imprinting herself on the child
where it's like I'm mommy now in a way where
it's like no, like you, you had your shot, you
had your time, you already were a mom. Let me
be a mom.

Speaker 6 (10:22):
Like.

Speaker 5 (10:22):
I don't get me wrong, I love the help that
she's trying to do and trying to get, but it's
over like, like the title says, overstepping her boundaries. Yeah,
I think I think that's great because moms are of help.
Parents is are of help and they need help and
that's what that's what the grandparents are there for. But
not like this.

Speaker 4 (10:39):
Yeah. No, the me growing up, see my grandma take
care of me. It wasn't anything out of the ordinary.
She just I don't know, just be Grandma'll.

Speaker 5 (10:50):
Like make you something like food, some.

Speaker 2 (10:52):
Toast, I don't know, Yeah, knit me a sweater.

Speaker 4 (10:56):
Yeah, those are a classic grandma things.

Speaker 2 (10:58):
It's a grandma thing. Why are you trying to overstep
your grandma?

Speaker 4 (11:02):
I wonder if the new modern grandma things whenever we're
older it is like Grandpa just three D print me
something Grandma.

Speaker 5 (11:11):
I hope not, or like if I'm a grand.

Speaker 4 (11:14):
I mean, are you gonna be crocheting your kids something I.

Speaker 2 (11:16):
Don't know how to? I mean I actually technically have.
I did know at one point how to crochet and knit.
I'm gonna make my mom do it all.

Speaker 4 (11:25):
I probably will little stick for kid at.

Speaker 5 (11:29):
Nah.

Speaker 2 (11:30):
I'm gonna like play dolls or something with my kids,
my grandkids.

Speaker 5 (11:34):
I'll build I'll build a Lego set with my my grandad.

Speaker 4 (11:37):
To make a movie production with my kids.

Speaker 2 (11:39):
My grandma can make a TikTok with grandma. Yep, yep,
they're like, oh this old thing called TikTok because probably.

Speaker 4 (11:45):
Heard of one.

Speaker 5 (11:47):
We're like back in my day. We only had six seconds.

Speaker 4 (11:49):
That's all I needed. We needed to make you guys
joking Joe, were you.

Speaker 2 (11:58):
As just like gone? Man, just like update.

Speaker 4 (12:02):
I'm gonna get her back. Okay, my my mission this story.
She's gonna laugh, she's gonna she's gonna come back to life.
I gotta guys, update for a summary.

Speaker 2 (12:12):
My mother in law needs to be the center of
attention at all times, makes everything about her, bulldozes over
everyone's boundaries, and gaslight slash manipulates to get her way,
including pretending she's so embarrassing or is that hurt her
heart broken? Of her ridiculous things to make you feel
bad and give in to her. She also plays mommy

(12:33):
with my kids to the point she's completely taking over
whenever she's around, and has even created a barricade with
multiple chairs between me and my second baby that she
snatched out of my arm so I couldn't get to
her quickly. What is this woman playing freaking squid games?

Speaker 4 (12:51):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (12:52):
Go on, you know when they make a barricade at
night so that you can't get attacked by the other players.

Speaker 4 (12:57):
Yeah, we're playing for Fortnite.

Speaker 2 (13:00):
Oh yeah? Is this woman in the French Revolution?

Speaker 4 (13:04):
Capture the flag? Capture the baby?

Speaker 2 (13:07):
Oh I want to fight capture the flag. She makes
my life miserable and she is exhausting to even think about. Anyway,
here is how my weekend went. Since so many people
ask for an update. Oh boy, I'm extremely irritated and exhausted,
which from my original post I already said I knew
I would be, so I don't need any I told
you so, people, loll. I mainly went for my kids,

(13:28):
and I did have a good time with them and
also honestly with everyone else except mother in law, so
other than her, I guess it was a decent weekend.
But here are some highlights. I guess so bullet points.
Got to the campsite where mother in law and father
in law had already set up their camping gear, and
of course mother in law charged me and the kids
or female in eleven months, immediately buzzing in their ears

(13:51):
and hovering around them. Literally every time I tried to
say anything to my four year old daughter. Mother in
law was right there, repeating what I said and adding
her own two cents, or just straight up going against
what I was saying and saying something else. I had
to constantly tell her to let me parent my daughter
and to back off to what She acted annoyed and

(14:11):
walked away, or sometimes she literally just laughed, ha, like
a crazy person.

Speaker 4 (14:16):
What planet is this woman on?

Speaker 2 (14:18):
Uh? The crazy person planet. My daughter took sister in
law's beach towel and ran away with it, then got
distracted by something else and threw it on the ground.
We camped on a sandy beach. Her fresh towel got
full of sand, and I told my daughter to pick
up Auntie's towel, give it back and say sorry. My
daughter was cranky as it was the last day we
were midpacking up and it was coming up on her naptime,

(14:41):
so she was whining and saying no. She also gets
embarrassed when she needs to say sorry, so she says
no because she's embarrassed to do it. So I'm standing
there trying to tell my daughter that it's okay and
she isn't in trouble, but she does need to give
it back and say sorry for throwing it in the sand.
Here comes mother in law over and picks up the
towel and says, here, I'll do it. Do you want

(15:02):
me to do it, to which I say no, mother
in law, she needs to do it, and mother in
law ignored me and kept telling my daughter it's okay,
it's okay. I just said no, daughter, you need to
say sorry, and eventually just straight up told mother in
law again to back off and stop interfering and going
against me.

Speaker 4 (15:20):
All right.

Speaker 2 (15:21):
Then I told my daughter in front of mother in
law that she needs to listen to mommy, and if
someone else tells her something after mom says something, then
what they say doesn't matter because she should listen to mo.
Mother in law again acted like I was just a
witch or something. My daughter fell and started crying, super simple.
She was fine. This is another event that happened. She

(15:42):
was in mother in law's tent with mother in law
hanging out and tripped on the opening. While walking out
of the tent. I heard her cry and yelled to
her from very from some steps away, daughter, are you
all right, to which mother in law answered for yeah,
she's fine, are you daughter?

Speaker 4 (15:56):
Is your name?

Speaker 2 (15:57):
Daughter?

Speaker 4 (15:58):
Wow? I didn't know you could understand my daughter's emotions.

Speaker 2 (16:02):
Mm hmm. I didn't know you were a mind reader,
so I shouted back, well, I want to hear my
daughter tell me she's all right. That's why I asked her.
Not a peep from mother in law. By the way,
if it isn't obvious by now, mother in law loves
to intimidate people and force them to do what she wants,
But as soon as you call her out or fight back,
she starts stumbling over her words, grasping at straws, trying

(16:24):
to gaslight or manipulate you for her power back, and
usually ends up making some snarky comment about how she
doesn't even care and walking away. Every time my daughter
wants to do something with me, it's like my mother
in law was jealous or something. Mother in law just
kept hovering around and trying to lure my daughter and
son into doing it with her instead, Like they were
swimming with me in the lake and mother in law

(16:45):
kept buzzing around my daughter saying, come swim with Nana,
Come swim with Nana, and my daughter was very clearly
getting annoyed and kept saying, no, I'm swimming with my
mommy and mother in law just would not accept it
until father in law overheard and said stop bowling them
nice in a half joking way, but it definitely called
her attention attention to her and made her go swim

(17:07):
away by herself. Then she called attention to herself by
telling everyone to look at how far out she swam?

Speaker 4 (17:14):
Dude, Okay, is she a child?

Speaker 2 (17:15):
She's like, look how far out I swam?

Speaker 4 (17:17):
I was about to say that word.

Speaker 2 (17:18):
Look, I could do a handstand.

Speaker 4 (17:20):
If I was this person's partner, I would get the
itch so quick, like what are we doing?

Speaker 2 (17:25):
Come on?

Speaker 4 (17:26):
What?

Speaker 6 (17:27):
Uh?

Speaker 4 (17:27):
How can you be with someone like this? What? How
does this happen?

Speaker 2 (17:30):
I have no idea.

Speaker 4 (17:31):
I'm so confused right now. What in her mind from
her past is making her act like this? That's what
I want to know. I'm want to dive deep into her.

Speaker 2 (17:40):
She's a very jealous person who needs attention on her
at all times, and.

Speaker 4 (17:44):
I want to dive deep into her brain cells and
understand the mapping of her behavior. Yeah, Like, how does
someone get this way jealousy? I think so she had
only child. I need answers everyone.

Speaker 2 (17:55):
I tried talking to and asking questions mother in law,
what am for them. No one bats a eye. They're
so used to it, it's ridiculous. I wasn't having any
of her crap this weekend, so right off the bat,
every time she did it, I either repeated my question
to the person, told her I wasn't asking her, or
said something in a lighthearted way like oh, I didn't
realize your name was X, which made people giggle but

(18:18):
got the point across. Except mother in law is such
an intention hogger. She wouldn't back down. She would answer
question after question. A husband was telling a story from
his past and I asked three questions in a row
to get a better picture, and mother in law kept
answering as if it was her story. She wasn't even there.
She tells everyone's stories as if it's her own, as

(18:41):
if she was there, and tries to find ways to
insert herself into everyone's stories. It was daughter's bedtime, and
I brought two books to the campfire, one for me,
one for her dad to read to her, as we
had done every single night since she was a few
weeks old. Mother in law literally had her on her
lap and would not let her go. I kept saying,
come here, wait, this is ope, Come here. Daughter, come

(19:02):
read a story, and mother in law kept holding her
on her lap and saying, how nana can read it?
Want nana to read it instead, and I kept saying no,
mom and dad have read her stories since she was
a baby. This is what she's used to. We can
read the stories. At one point, she even slid daughter
off her lap because she accidentally punted over her adult

(19:22):
soda on the ground and held her with one arm
and frantically said, don't go anywhere, to which I called
her out and said, well, you don't have to hold
my daughter hostage. She can go if she wants to,
and mother in law acted all sheepish and said, still
holding her. Well, yeah she can, but she said she
wants to sit on my lap. Meanwhile, my daughter was
clearly trying to subtly wander away when she thought she

(19:44):
had a chance to finally this her four year old's.

Speaker 4 (19:48):
Like, please, she's holding me hot, I can't help anywhere.
Oh dude, can we do anything here?

Speaker 2 (19:57):
Well, it seems like your husband needs to do more,
because he said he's on your side.

Speaker 4 (20:01):
Like yeah, father in along. Definitely, I would haven't been
ze functions.

Speaker 5 (20:08):
I would have the conversation with the father in law like, yeah,
could you tell her to stop? And you know, like
you see what she's doing.

Speaker 2 (20:14):
Yeah, he's up. Man.

Speaker 4 (20:15):
I have seen family members where their wife just acts
super crazy and the husband gives up. He's like, yeah,
I can't he's so crazy.

Speaker 5 (20:27):
Usually the husband does not want to deal with it
because they're like, oh, I'm gonna get the now it's
gonna be the focus is gonna be towards me, like
the angers just straight towards me, and you like, I'd
rather not.

Speaker 2 (20:39):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (20:39):
Yeah, it's so sad to watch.

Speaker 2 (20:42):
Uh, Miss jay Bird says op He does need to
relax a bit too use her so you can get
a break. Yeah, I mean it seems like it seems
like this is just constant though, Like even when Opie
wants to hang out with.

Speaker 4 (20:53):
Her kids whenever the reading the story thing, maybe let
the mother in law do it.

Speaker 2 (20:58):
Yeah, I feel like that would be a moment where
that would be fined.

Speaker 5 (21:01):
If it was like, you know, once every you know,
in a blue moon, or like a couple times a month,
that's fine, But it's like it's literally every time you
see the baby, it's like that's that.

Speaker 2 (21:11):
Yeah. I feel like in normal circumstances. If there were
like a normal mother in law, you'd be like, okay,
well you could let her read the stories. That's you know,
let her be ave a little bit. But because it's
so you know, so constant, I got up when I
noticed that and just picked her up and took her
over to me and continued our bedtime routine, ignoring mother
in law the entire time. After that, which she hated,

(21:32):
sister in law was saying how husband and I make
such cute babies, and then teasing her brother saying which,
obviously they got all of that from ope, not you,
to which mother in law hyped up and said thanks
a lot, and we all looked at her confused, which
then she went on and on about how my kids
some outcome from all of her personal genes, and I
was saying, they don't get their cuteness from husband. Her

(21:54):
son was a personal attack just to her, So I
at first said, uh, no, they get all their genes
for me, because you know I'm the mother, and husband
too threw them in his kit. Wait what, No, they
get all their genes from me because you know I'm
in the mother, and husband too threw them in in
case she took the angle. It's not just me lol.
She kept going on though, so finally I said, louder

(22:17):
than before, mother in law, you can take credit for
your own kids, which are right there. I pointed to
sister in law husband, they are your kids, these are mine,
and I just simply walked away. Sister in law thought
I was very amusing and backed me up, saying, yeah, Mom,
were your kids not Obie's kids, and you're a silly
goose type of tone. Basically, a bunch of little things happened,

(22:40):
but my relationship with my mother in law is a
very much passing away by a thousand paper cuts. These
little things may sound silly, but all together they're so
freaking irritating.

Speaker 4 (22:52):
Yeah I can I could see that.

Speaker 2 (22:54):
I mean, yeah, she just keeps doing it. Everything is
a battle with this woman.

Speaker 4 (22:59):
I can only imagine and how irritated Sophia is with
me day to day because I know I work with her,
and I'm also not the best roommate ever. No, you
are okay, good, So like I'm not at death by
a thousand cuts. I think I am okay, Hey, met
I am, But if it wasn't from my awesome personality,
you'd probably be like he's dead to me.

Speaker 2 (23:18):
Well, yeah, I mean if you sucked as a person.

Speaker 4 (23:20):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, basically what I'm saying. I can understand
how all these little things snacking up upon another.

Speaker 2 (23:27):
It's frustrating. Katie Politan says. More people need to start
calling mother out mother in law out on this behavior,
and not just opee, I.

Speaker 4 (23:36):
Know, reverse psychology or no, okay, take it back. We
need to do is when of her mother in law
does something you like, oh my gosh, thank you, I
love that.

Speaker 2 (23:46):
That is so kind, positive reinforcement, anything else, yeah, nothing,
You ignore her these I just find her entire existence unnecessary.
She truly is unbearable. My kids love her, especially my daughter,
so I endure her presence for their sake. But I've
set ground rules, like my husband asked to be there
at all times because I refuse to be alone with her.

(24:07):
That's when she's at her most fu when she knows
husband isn't around to witness it or tell her to
knock it off. For those who didn't see my previous post,
I said a husband had recently gone up to her home,
which is fifteen minutes away, and told her that he
had been a crappy husband and father due to always
putting her and her want slash feelings above everyone else's

(24:28):
and that stops now finally, so far things have been
better this weekend. He didn't really notice much. In his defense,
he was cooking food and taking care of the fire. Well,
I basically just got to hang out with the kids
or go off and take some quiet me time. When
I got overwhelmed by mother in law, he immediately stepped
in and took the kids so I could do that.
It was great. He didn't do much, but when he

(24:50):
did hear me telling mother in law to back down,
he did tell her to be quiet and back off too.
He'd say little comments like, oh, he is their mom.
She's got this handled and got his mom to go
back off. He doesn't know about all the tiny things
she did that annoyed me that I've listed, and I'm
not sure if I'll tell him it's if it's even
worth it or not. But anyway, that was my weekend.

(25:12):
Oh and as an added bonus, are used very old
pop up trailer we bought off someone local. Broke all
the heck from the super rough trail you take to
get to the back camping beach, So we can't go
camping anymore this year. Whooo Is that like a thank
God we don't have to go camping with the family anymore.

Speaker 4 (25:29):
Wait read that next sentence.

Speaker 2 (25:31):
It's okay, we got a cheap use one just to
see how camping would be with their family before, and
we knew it would probably not last more than a
year or so.

Speaker 4 (25:38):
Got it. I thought she was gonna be like glad,
I can't see mother in law.

Speaker 2 (25:43):
Yeah, it's okay. I didn't want to go camping again anyway.

Speaker 4 (25:45):
I know some people are really into like trailer camping.
They spend two months every weekend going Yeah, it's crazy.
Yeah I don't. I mean I like outdoors.

Speaker 2 (25:57):
I want to I want to go cabin glamping. I
want to go stand a cabin.

Speaker 4 (26:02):
We gotta go. We gotta go to Gatlinburg. Where's that Tennessee.

Speaker 2 (26:05):
Let's do it. If we get a cabin, I'm so
down to do like hiking every day and go lake.
Let's get a cabin by a lake.

Speaker 5 (26:15):
You want to go to Tahoe or Big Bear, Well we.

Speaker 2 (26:18):
Can also go to Vermont. So overall, my weekend was
spent making memories with the kids while simultaneously continuously telling
mother in law to f off. I am beyond trained
and so glad it's over. Sorry for such a long post.
If you've read through it, you can give me some
tips and out of better handle things. Going no contact
is not an option, and I'm very very low contact anyway,

(26:41):
or just offer solidarity by telling me I'm not alone
and you have mother in laws who act in similar ways.
I am just blown away by her behavior every time
I see her, And the worst part, I think is
that everyone else seems oblivious to it and treats me
like I'm the crazy one. If I say something, she
has treated like some amazing angel or queen me and
while I'm just seen as her attention seeking, snarling baby

(27:03):
rabies witch. Sometimes I wonder, though, why I think she's
so exhausting and horrid when no one else seems to
and everyone else thinks she's wonderful. And there are some comments.

Speaker 4 (27:15):
I gotta do camping soon, that's your comment.

Speaker 2 (27:17):
Yep, she sounds really troublesome. Have you asked your significant
other to talk to his mother and set some boundaries?
Mother in law tends to listen to their kids. Opie
says she really is I have before, and in the
past he would dodge it or make excuses, which is
a problem. She's really good at doing her efery when
he's not around. He's a smoker and goes outside for

(27:38):
smoke or when we would go to replace usually other
people are up there hanging out. Her home is the
main place in our small town people gather at, so
a lot of times he's outside socializing with the guys
while I hang out with the kids, which I'm fine with.
I tell him to do this for a break, but
that's when mother in law acts up with her nod
sets to me and the kids. A lot of times
in the past, I think this was more disbelief than

(28:00):
being a bad husband or whatever. But I would tell
him what she did or said, and he would try
to say no, she didn't, or make excuses like she's
just an excited grandma, or she's just trying to be
helpful or something dumb. And of course I sounded crazy
when I said it, But she isn't. She's doing it
on purpose for whatever reason anyway, So his excuse would

(28:22):
be that since he wasn't actually present for the effery,
then it would be awkward and not make sense for
him to randomly call her hours after we left or
days later, because honestly, it takes me days to weeks
to tell him what his mother did, because I'm so
tired of telling him and having him make excuses for
her or shrug it off like nothing, and in the meantime,

(28:44):
I'm cranky and stressed because I have no one to
talk about it, and then nothing ends up happening.

Speaker 4 (28:49):
I will say, Opie sounds like she needs a group
of girls, group of girls, even mother about the mother
in law. Mother in law needs a group of girls.

Speaker 2 (28:59):
Everyone needs a group girls. It's this girl a.

Speaker 4 (29:01):
Group, got a bridge night something.

Speaker 2 (29:04):
I I think you just need you and your husband
need to go on the same page about like how
you're parenting your children. Yeah, and you need to just
say like, hey, she's kind of you know, over like
overstepping whenever I'm trying to parent the kids. And then
she says something else. I think it's frustrating. Yeah, recently,
like a few months ago. Now, I lost it and
told him everything and told him he needs to step

(29:26):
up and stop being a pansy about his mother, otherwise
he's going to lose his wife and kids.

Speaker 5 (29:30):
Dang, for a pansy bro, and.

Speaker 2 (29:33):
I told him to pick which one he wants more.
He drove up to his mother's house and told her
he's been a terrible husband and father by protecting his
mother's feelings and wants over mine, and told her he'd
be calling her out on her bs from now on,
and that I will be telling him what she says
and does when he isn't around because he knows she
does it when he leaves the room, and that when
I tell him, he will be contacting her to tell

(29:54):
her to knock it off. Apparently she was good about it,
but ever since then she's been ten million times worse
with me and does it in front of everyone now,
even my husband, like she's challenging us.

Speaker 4 (30:06):
Do you want huh? What do you want? Awful get away?

Speaker 5 (30:11):
He just wants babies.

Speaker 2 (30:12):
Stop, dude, Come on, I mean, at least the husband's
you know, you know, doing something now. Finally, anyway, he
has stepped up more. Not anything crazy, but he has
started to tell her to knock it off, tell her
I'm the kid's mother, not her, and that I have
things handled. He also stops saying that I'm the one

(30:33):
who doesn't want to go to something or blaming things
on me, so he still looks good and started saying sorry,
we have plans and just using we like a team. Wow. Okay,
Oh he wasn't doing that before. He was like, oh sorry,
oh he doesn't want to do that. Why are you
Your husband was really not doing a great job before.

(30:53):
She did listen to him in the past, but now
she just seems completely unhinged after he called her completely
out about everything. It's exhausting and comment to mostly it
sounds like you did great. I would have liked to
read more involvement from husband, but as you said, he
has the excuse of being occupied. Where was he for
the storytime debate when she had a hold of your daughter?

(31:15):
That one bothers me most. You also need to start
teaching your daughter that it's okay to say no or
let me go, even to grandma or any adult when
they're doing something that makes them uncomfortable slash they don't like.
Consider a code word for you and your hobby, like
every time you're about to be nearer, set up a
phrase or word to indicate step up. Like mother in
law has a death grip on a child trying to escape.

(31:36):
Husband did we bring bananas or whatever, and he knows
that something is amiss and he needs to step up.
Number one, he may realize more and then catch on
more without needing the codes. And two, shutting down will
mean more from him.

Speaker 4 (31:49):
Okay, I like that. Yeah, I like that makes them
more aware, makes them more aware seeing something. You're not
blatanting like, hey.

Speaker 2 (31:57):
Your mom's missing your mom she's being Yeah, you're just
like bananas, Like.

Speaker 4 (32:03):
He passed me the green apples. Hey, husband, I need
a pine apple. Could you go to the store and
get some grapes? And then you hit him when they
up yup, just like that. Yeah, just like that, Opie.

Speaker 2 (32:16):
He really struggled with that one, I think because his
mother was so dang persistent and would not let up.
She was just buzzing in everyone's ears, saying, Nana, what
read it? Nana, what read it? So he told her
to stop holding our daughter captive. After I did like,
he backed me up. But then he caved and offered
her to read his story after I read mine. But
I piped up loudly said no, honey, she loves when

(32:40):
you read her a story every night, and he said
you're right and started reading. He's like a robot. He's like,
you are right.

Speaker 4 (32:48):
I will read now you are correct.

Speaker 2 (32:51):
We do teach her that, and she's extremely good at
enforcing her boundaries and telling people now stop, that's not nice,
and telling people to say sorry, even telling people she
speaking and they need to be quiet. I think in
that moment, the way mother in law abruptly and a
bit aggressively said don't go anywhere, kind of stunned my
daughter in a way I've honestly never really seen her stunned,

(33:11):
and she just stayed put. I think she thought she
was or would be, in trouble. Any other time she
would have loudly told her to let her go and
spoken up for herself, but for some reason, this one
time she didn't. It concerns me because I've never seen
her get so quiet and just stay put. The code
word is a really good idea husband can tell usually
when I'm fighting his mother off and he jumps in,

(33:33):
but sometimes he's honestly just oblivious. So a code word
would be helpful and simple enough. And there is a
second update.

Speaker 1 (33:40):
Hey, it's Sam, your og host.

Speaker 5 (33:42):
Here.

Speaker 1 (33:42):
We're gonna get back to the stories, but here's three
minutes of ads from our sponsors.

Speaker 4 (33:45):
Do you have any thoughts, Riley, I'm gonna go camping soon.
But your husband does me to stand up?

Speaker 2 (33:52):
Yeah, well it seems like he is. You just don't
think enough.

Speaker 4 (33:56):
There was Okay. I understand that sometimes when people don't
see a wound, they need to prep it and then
it will heal over time. I feel like it's going
from the prep part of what is where is this wound?
What do I need to do to fix it? And
it is slowly getting to the healing part. I feel
like he needs to put more focus on what we

(34:17):
need in order to heal this.

Speaker 2 (34:19):
Yeah, we need a little bit more neo sporn.

Speaker 4 (34:21):
Yes, we need more bandages. We need more maybe even
like a stint, maybe a stitch exactly. I just don't
think he's I think he's on the right track. He's
on the right track.

Speaker 2 (34:30):
But I'm on think he just to behave consistently. But
I think he's on the right track.

Speaker 4 (34:34):
Yeah, just be more in the lookout, I think, is
what I'm looking at. Yeah, update too, Oh there's more.

Speaker 2 (34:41):
I ended up telling my husband about the things his
mother did. At first, I was really reluctant, but he
said i'd been acting differently since we got back from
our camping trip last weekend. Although I've been normal, I've
barely spoken and I've been closed off, and he thought
something really terrible happened. So first, I told him that
I'm hesitant to tell him things about his mother. Said,
this is about mom, right, because a lot of times

(35:03):
I'm shrugged her off. I've shrugged it off, or he
made excuses for her and such. He told me he
really wants a relationship to work. You can read my
previous posts, but basically, about two months ago, I told
him I was very close to walking out, and he
drove to his parents' house and told them he's been
a crappy, has been YadA, YadA, YadA. I decided to
open up, and I told him about the constant interfering

(35:24):
with my parenting and overstepping. I told him about her
answering for me when I asked her a question and
telling her it's okay, don't worry about it when I
just told her to say sorry to someone. I also
told him that I did stand up for myself and
tell his mother to back off, and I wasn't rude
about it yet she scoffed and dramatically walked away or
ignored me, and then repeatedly did what I asked her

(35:45):
to stop doing all week and long. I said that
I discussed this with his mother two months ago after
he told his parents he was done with their crap,
and his mother told me, Oh, just tell me when
I do something you don't like, and I won't do it.
I think that's been said like fifty times. Man. Yeah,
so I said, what is the point in that when
she acts worse after I tell her, She's like, let

(36:09):
me know what I'm doing wrong, so I can do
it even worse, so I can do it the most wrong.

Speaker 4 (36:14):
Yeah, you did something wrong there, I'm gonna make it
ten times worse. That was bad. Take that out, editor.

Speaker 2 (36:21):
So my options are to suck it up and resent
her or tell her to stop. She still does it,
which just makes me resent her even more for her
blatant disrespect. Husband listened to my entire rant like he
said he would. Then he apologized to me multiple times,
telling me he thought I'd handled it when I told
her to back off. He heard me a few times
he was off doing things like cooking dinner or trying

(36:43):
to fix our trailer. That but broke things he couldn't
walk away from, but he said he knows I was
very respectful and she had no reason to react the
way she did. He had no idea it was eating
me up so much, and if he had known, he
would have had my back. He acknowledged that his mom
definitely does her bs when he's or unable to step in.
He said he will make more of an effort to

(37:03):
stay nearby, and if he isn't and I tell him
about something upsetting, he will contact her immediately and tell
her what she did was unacceptable. I told him I
didn't tell him while out camping because I didn't want
to ruin his time out there and also didn't want
to argue while camping. He said he appreciated that. However,
next time, he wants me to tell him immediately if

(37:24):
I'm upset so he can support me and stand up
for me. Overall, he was extremely genuine and caring. Hopefully,
moving forward, he does have my back. He said he
completely understands why I wouldn't really want to be around
someone who acts that way, and that he will be
speaking to her about her role as a grandmother and
my role as the kid's mother. She needs to stop
playing mom to our kids, especially stop undermining and disrespecting

(37:47):
me as their mother. I also brought up how he
uses the excuse that she's just an excited grandmother, which
she said, yes, he did think that sometimes. I asked him,
fair enough, but is that more important than my as
a mother?

Speaker 5 (38:01):
Mmmm?

Speaker 2 (38:02):
Good on you, op mm hmmmm mm. Are her memories
and moments as a grandmother more important? He said absolutely not.
You're right. And also, this is going back to the
we had mentioned earlier, like people were saying, like, oh,
you know, sometimes you could just let the grandmother, you know,
help out or whatever the title was, that Opie felt

(38:22):
like she was missing out on being a mother. So
I feel like at the at the root of this,
this is Opie's like I'm missing out on these moments
because she keeps trying to step in and and like
take them all from me.

Speaker 4 (38:33):
Yeah, dang or all these.

Speaker 2 (38:36):
Moments are also coupled with Opie trying to fend off
her grandmother or fend off her mother in law, which
is also frustrating.

Speaker 4 (38:42):
She did say, I'm trying to read my I don't
know it would be cool to read to your kid
at a campfire a story and then being barraged No, no, no,
let me read read and it's like, you can't have
you can't be with your kids. Yeah, you have to
protect that, and you're having to fight for that. No
mother should have to fight for then.

Speaker 2 (38:59):
But you know you also don't have to fight for
what full episodes of stories just like this. Just go
to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or iHeartRadio and search a pokey
story time. But there is a little bit left to
the story. Do you have any final final thoughts?

Speaker 4 (39:12):
No, I have none.

Speaker 2 (39:14):
Oh they have one, Riley, Yeah, I have one thought.

Speaker 5 (39:17):
One thought.

Speaker 4 (39:22):
I'm gonna bring sister in law into this, get her involved.
One Does sister in law have kids too? You know
she also getting the same treatment or will she get
the same treatment?

Speaker 2 (39:32):
I don't think so.

Speaker 5 (39:33):
Probably no, one hundred percent. You know why, because the
mother in law is going to focus all of her
attention to sister in law.

Speaker 2 (39:39):
Well, I think right now I'm saying she doesn't get
there because.

Speaker 4 (39:41):
She doesn't have any kids or not.

Speaker 5 (39:42):
But when that does happen.

Speaker 4 (39:44):
She does have kids, Yeah, but I don't know that's
going to happen. Yeah. I have seen family dynamics where
whenever it's like grandparents and they have like four kids,
and whenever one of the kids have a young and
they are now like the best kids, like best fam
because I have the youngest child. Yeah, and then as
soon as like another young child's around, they kind of

(40:05):
like forget that and then like the new child child's
the best one. What are you doing here to replace
these kids? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (40:14):
Where was I?

Speaker 6 (40:15):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (40:15):
Dutchess Cassanda says, I hate that. The husband is like,
I thought you got this, so I didn't step in
like freaking support your wife. Yeah, used like I thought
you I thought you had a handle, so I thought
I didn't you know.

Speaker 5 (40:24):
Like I said earlier, the husband was like, hmm, don't
want to deal with that.

Speaker 2 (40:28):
The frick really just punted me in the face.

Speaker 4 (40:32):
Did this.

Speaker 2 (40:34):
I also told him that she had her time to
be a mom and now it's just my time. It
is a new age of mothers. She needs to respect
that or she will lose her grandmother privileges because I
am done. He agreed that was fair. He agreed to
keep his mother in her lane, and finally acknowledged it's
not my job to do so. He also acknowledged that
he witnessed me attempting to and saw or heard her

(40:56):
blatantly ignore me, So now he knows one hundred percent
that she acts that way.

Speaker 4 (41:01):
I just hope the husband can walk away knowing how
to support his wife, because it feels like the wife
has like a shield. This is what the wife's doing now,
shield sword baby. She's having to carry all three man
and another baby. She has like two babies and doing
this and the husband's.

Speaker 2 (41:17):
Like, it's exhausting. He's like, you got this, You're good,
You're doing great. From the sidelines, it's behind a door,
He's like, you got this.

Speaker 4 (41:27):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (41:27):
But that is the end of that story.

Speaker 4 (41:30):
My boyfriend's family condolens his cheating, so I pulled back
my support for his daughter.

Speaker 2 (41:35):
Yeah, if they're gonna support him cheating, then you gotta
support leavin.

Speaker 4 (41:41):
I try. I Female twenty nine usually stay with my
boyfriend Carl thirty eight male on weekends. He lives with
his daughter sixteen female when he is in. When he
is in due to joint customing, he works a job
that he hates because he has no opportunities for growing
his career. So seven months ago, he started a company

(42:01):
with an associate, Gabby thirty five female. By the way,
this comes from small Room in twenty three and if
you want to me your old stories, go to Okay
Storytime Subred. So she's definitely successful and knowledgeable. So my
concern was what would happen if she ever decided to
cut him off. I'm mentioning this because his contribution to
their association was to bring clients but not technical or anything.

(42:23):
But not technically, not technical.

Speaker 2 (42:25):
And he has no technical like he's not helping the
company in any technical or like business way or something.
He just knows people.

Speaker 4 (42:33):
Okay, this is a tricky line because I know a
guy that runs a virtual like animations. He's the guy.
He's pretty technical too, but he knows everyone and basically
can produce a movie with just his team, but he
doesn't release their names, so he's like the middleman. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (42:48):
See, the problem is once you introduce all the clients,
it's like you kind of made yourself obsolete a little bit.

Speaker 4 (42:54):
Yeah, for the past five months he stayed out late
while working on their plants, had any reason for doubt
or suspicion until he went to meet her on a
Sunday afternoon. I didn't say anything because I know starting
a business requires a lot of effort, but it's odd
to allow an associate to interfere with family life. Two
weekends ago, she showed up and beriated him for cheating

(43:16):
on her. We were hanging out at his place with
his two brothers, mother in law, and his daughter and
sister in law. Gabby showed up knocking out the door
while Carl was in the shower. I started getting weirded
out when his family seemed hesitant to answer the door.
His brother finally went to talk to her, but she
walked past him and confronted me. She asked about her relationship.

(43:37):
I'll admit I was a bit rude because I got defensive.

Speaker 2 (43:41):
Yeah, because someone just came in and said, Wow, why
do you know Carl, And You're like, this is my
freaking boyfriend.

Speaker 4 (43:46):
His older brother went to Carl and it all turned
into a crap shot. At this point, I'm disgusted. I
don't know who was the real girlfriend and who was
the side chick. Also, it's worth noting that she accused
his family of betraying her. Did they even work together
Gabby and Carl? Yeah, they did for sure? Or was
it always a lie?

Speaker 2 (44:07):
Mmm?

Speaker 4 (44:08):
I see him Carl remained vague when I demanded some answers,
and I felt like slapping him, but I controlled myself.
She stormed out after an ugly exchange. I broke up
with him that same day and haven't been able to
find my way back into a good mental state. I
can't believe anything he says, so whatever he explains will

(44:28):
be a lie.

Speaker 2 (44:29):
There is no explanation he was he was seeing two
people at the same time.

Speaker 4 (44:33):
Yeah. Ugh, this is where I might be the a hole.
I made the decision to pull my support for his daughter.
I had been paying for a makeup subscription box, but
canceled it. Okay, she was getting her prom dress as
a loan from a friend of mine who has four girls.
I told my friend what happened, and we agreed that
it's his daughter. Oh and we agreed that his daughter

(44:54):
doesn't deserve any of my help.

Speaker 2 (44:56):
Okay, see, okay, I understood the makeup subscription, But like
telling your friend not to give her a discount, seems
a little harsh. Like the daughter didn't do anything.

Speaker 4 (45:05):
Wrong, daughter didn't do anything. I say, whatever commitments you have,
the daughter, ruffle them ount Like.

Speaker 2 (45:11):
I think the makeup subscription one makes sense because that's
like ongoing paying money. Yeah, but like the other one
is just a discount.

Speaker 4 (45:18):
Yeah, just a discount. Maybe after prom ruffle it out,
you aren't gonna get it anymore.

Speaker 2 (45:22):
Yeah, could erivances. That's not her responsibility, not the ale.
I agree, it's not her responsibility, but I think it's
for me. It's like, it's not her responsibility to keep
something going, but I feel like taking something away that
actually doesn't have any you know, the monetary you know.

Speaker 4 (45:40):
So she also punts them both off of my streaming
services and will not keep and will not help with
the history school project, nor will I keep her in
my magazine subscription plan. So things like that that.

Speaker 2 (45:53):
Makes more sense to me of like things where Yeah,
I just think the the direct mom dress thing feels
like a little bit of her you know, unnecessary one.

Speaker 4 (46:02):
Okay, No, Ded Carl reached out trying to discuss what
I'm doing about his daughter. He just said, he just
said she's just a teenager and she shouldn't pay for
his mistakes. I agree that she has no power to
keep him from doing bad things, nor to keep him
from being a liar. And I know that she wouldn't
be in a position to tell Slash warn me about

(46:23):
her dad was cheating. But she's almost seventeen next month,
and she's very immature, and she's definitely capable of telling
right from wrong. She had zero problems getting stuff and
receiving help and favors from me, and was comfortable asking
for things. She's not a brat or the demanding type.
She's low key asked for stuff and I was happy
to help. I'm sure she also benefited from Gabby the

(46:46):
other girl, because it makes sense since I'm under the
impression that Gabby was no stranger to her either. I
told him let Gabby do it, and he tried to
complain about how Gabby vandalized their website. Oh, she choke
their page down and it shows and all it shows
is a black screen.

Speaker 2 (47:05):
Because he has no technical he can't help. But the
taat is now at works.

Speaker 4 (47:09):
He says. She locked him out of all logins and
supposedly and all her contacts block him. The only thing
giving a little drawer right now is imagining him unclothed
and holding his balls out in the cold. Oh like
like he's like, he's like.

Speaker 2 (47:24):
It's just like metaphorically, yeah, am I the a hole.

Speaker 4 (47:28):
My friends are divided over this, not because of him,
but because they say she's just a teenager comments he's
johnio og host here.

Speaker 1 (47:35):
We're gonna get back to the stories, but he's a
quick three minute break of aspim more sponsors.

Speaker 2 (47:39):
I was wondering if she even knew, but I guess
the whole family kind of knew what the situation was.
I honestly I probably would have done the you know,
stop continuing to paying for to pay for stuff, but
I wouldn't have done the dress.

Speaker 4 (47:54):
Thing, the dress things too far. That's Sophia's line.

Speaker 2 (47:57):
I think it's just like you don't need to like
like don't I think my line is just don't do anything,
you know, like no further things.

Speaker 4 (48:06):
Got it ruffle it out update Thanks to everyone who
took time to reply. I think the consensus was about
his daughter. I will not be contacting her at all.
I reached out to Gabby via social media and she replied.
I explained my position and that I didn't know about
her hints why I was very rude and reacted with hostility.

(48:26):
We exchanged messages. She said that initially he told her
we were in an open relationship, but that was about
to end. They were talking for months before they began
their relationship. She said he first introduced his kid, then
his younger brother, and that she met his mom when
Paul invited her for lunch and had his mom show
up without telling her. Also, she said his mom was

(48:49):
less than friendly and made a small scene because she
decided to pick a fight with her boyfriend. He and
mother in law are currently broken up. There's no way
she's making this up. Mother in law treated that guy
like crap about his daughter. Paul used to visit Gabby
on some weekends and would leave his kid at Gabby's
place because they bonded over do you do it yourself projects?

Speaker 2 (49:11):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (49:11):
Why, now I know where his daughter got her fairy Yeah,
fairy fairy, witchy, fantasy elf, palmer, clay, jewelry, and hair
assessories from So, I guess his working weekend gigs was
a lie?

Speaker 2 (49:27):
Oh, so saying like, yeah, Gabby got all that, Yeah,
his daughter got it all from Yabby.

Speaker 4 (49:32):
She said they became a couple about a month or
two after starting their company because she wouldn't accept an
open relationship. He told her we were done, when in
fact we had never broken up, had a crisis nothing, Gabby,
mentioning that her dad, Ethan, hates him and that things
began to get rough because of things he did and

(49:53):
her dad noticed. She said she her dad and other
family members always meet Saturday dinner or Sunday brunch at
a particular restaurant, and her dad noticed how she always
paid for Paul and his kid. If Paul ever paid
for his own food, he never paid for hers. She said.
Her dad called her out because he usually paid for

(50:15):
everyone his treat his family, and he was getting very
uncomfortable about Paul. He even paid for Paul to avoid
making a scene, but he was fed up. Her dad
told Paul he expected to be treated for a change
as a hostility joke when they arrived at the restaurant,
and Paul was very offended. Later, Paul told her that

(50:38):
her dad's remark was a put down. She also said
her best friend raised concerns about him and that everything
started to crumble because he didn't attend her family's Christmas
lunch as he had planned. He remained low key during
the holidays and and claimed to have influenza. He used
both of us, but he took far more advantage of

(51:00):
her because she made material things available. While I don't
know her except for this situation, her messages show that
she's very affected but mostly angry. I wouldn't be surprised
if she ended up destroying him. She repeatedly mentioned that
he deserves to have his life ruined. And guys, your

(51:20):
life will not be ruined. If you go to your
favorite podcast platform, search up Okay, story time and boom,
we will give you the guideline on how to not
ruin your lives. That's all you gotta do. Three simple stories.

Speaker 2 (51:32):
All you gotta do one, two, three?

Speaker 4 (51:34):
And Sylvia, would you ever juggle if you're in a relationship? No,
two people at once?

Speaker 2 (51:40):
Why would I do that?

Speaker 4 (51:41):
Well, one of them's holding down the company and the
other one is, you know, taking care of your kid.
M No, okay, you got there.

Speaker 2 (51:49):
Guys, you shouldn't either unless everyone's informed. This is crazy.

Speaker 4 (51:53):
Who's Paul the guy?

Speaker 7 (51:56):
Look?

Speaker 4 (51:56):
Guy opis X.

Speaker 2 (51:58):
That's Paul? Then who would they talk? I was so
confused in that last time. I really was too wul
And who's the guy he's talking to?

Speaker 4 (52:05):
I didn't know that Paul didn't get an NBA like
he told me. He never worked two jobs despite what
he told me and put on his resume. She found
out because she paid for background checks and other tools
when things started not adding up. Supposedly, this was part
of why she started testing his abilities and had been
thinking about pulling the plug business wise. The ops X yep,

(52:30):
got it. She said, it's all bs and that he's
very insecure about his social standing. She told me a
lot of stuff, but in a nutshell, I'm going to
get tested for STDs and have already told my family
what happened. I'm leaving it at that because writing about
it makes it really irritating for me being stupid enough

(52:52):
to believe him. Thanks again, and that is the end
of that story, man. And we got one comment on
how do you get backdrone checks done? She say what
services she used?

Speaker 3 (53:02):
Like that?

Speaker 4 (53:03):
Seems like it should be done right at meeting someone nowadays?
She didn't say, but I'm assuming it may be a
service used by HR companies. Also, she said that she
corroborated his said graduation year to the public PDF document
from that graduation in that university, and his name was
never there nor on PDFs five years back or five

(53:24):
years forward.

Speaker 2 (53:24):
And there we have it.

Speaker 4 (53:25):
Man, dang, she's smart.

Speaker 2 (53:27):
Yeah, Paul, your ex sucks.

Speaker 4 (53:30):
Your ex sucks.

Speaker 2 (53:31):
But that's the end of that story.

Speaker 4 (53:34):
In that story, we're gonna do a little collin real quick.
All right, So context everyone, This is science. Salise is Salise.
Her and her boyfriend broke up three months ago because
of their uncertainty about having kids. Salise, Hello, Hello, Hi, Hello,
how are you doing.

Speaker 3 (53:53):
I am alive. How about your guys?

Speaker 2 (53:55):
We're also alive.

Speaker 4 (53:56):
We're also alive and doing great. I've quest how long
have you and your boyfriend been together before you guys
broke up?

Speaker 3 (54:06):
Not long enough to be breaking up of our kids?
Six months?

Speaker 4 (54:10):
Six months?

Speaker 2 (54:11):
And what was the missing especially okay, what was the miscommunication?

Speaker 7 (54:16):
So essentially, when we very first spot to beget the
I was like very from the start, like just so
you know, I don't think I'm gonna want to have
kids because I have like history with like other people
in relationships getting really upset over that, and so I
just wanted to be really like upfront. But I was
also like, I'm really open to changing my mind. I

(54:36):
just don't think I do. So that's like a big.

Speaker 3 (54:38):
Deal for you. We should probably not be in a relationship. Yeah,
And he was very much like.

Speaker 7 (54:42):
I've always thought I wanted kids, but I'm just not
sure and I'm open to exploring it.

Speaker 2 (54:47):
Okay, So you guys were both kind of like we're
open to exploring others like on the fence.

Speaker 7 (54:52):
Yeah, yeah, And then like our relationship not to be
like lage people, it always is this way where it's
like my relationship was part I have no idea where
what's wrong? Like in reality, like we had a really
good relationship. We were extremely happy. We had constant check
ins with each other of like, hey, how's it going.
Do we have any like concerns, like is when a
communication is she's happening? And we continuously checked in about

(55:14):
like our future together and it was continuously going better
and better and there was no complaints on either end.

Speaker 3 (55:21):
And then like five and a half.

Speaker 7 (55:24):
Weeks ago, we had a issue at dinner where like
he had made a comment about kids and I kind
of freaked out a little bit and then like brought
it up with him and then like, hey, when you
say these things, it needs me really anxious kind of way,
and his response was very like I'm so sorry, like
I'd love to talk to you more about it, like

(55:46):
don't worry. It's not something that they don't think about,
like I do think about the fact that you don't
want kids, but like I'm still open to it, and
I'm just not like it's too stuon in a relationship
to know we're also in our mid twenty a conversation,
I felt just like way better about the whole thing,
and I like really started to think about, like, Okay,

(56:07):
do I like why do I not want kids?

Speaker 3 (56:09):
You know? And so then I started thinking about that.

Speaker 7 (56:12):
I'm going to do some self discovery for like the
last five and a half weeks, so I was like,
oh wait, actually maybe I do, like I'm trying to
have all these different feelings. And then one day, just
out of the blue, he came over to my apartment
and he started sobbing and said that he'd been thinking
about it for like the last week and he just
doesn't think he can risk us dating and us breaking
up in five years from now when our entire lives

(56:34):
are entwined if I don't want kids, and he just
wasn't willing to take the risk, and he freaked out
and broke up with me. And yeah, and so since then,
I've been on like a three week intensive therapy trip.

Speaker 3 (56:48):
Essentially, I'm trying to figure out how I feel about everything, and.

Speaker 7 (56:52):
I've discovered that, like a lot of my dislike for
having children was actually just me being really scared because
I had a really bad childhood and I was scared
that if I had kids, I would just give them
also a bad childhoods And so yeah, so I have
since like I have since realized that, like I actually
do really want children, and I just have a lot

(57:12):
of trauma that I'm still working through in that area,
but I do really want kids. And you have reached
out to him.

Speaker 4 (57:18):
You do have trauma, but you're working on that, and
it sounds like you're going to like therapy and stuff
like that. Are you doing a lot of self reflection?

Speaker 3 (57:24):
Yeah, yeah, I have.

Speaker 7 (57:26):
I have a therapist that's like focus is on family
planning and like childhood trauma.

Speaker 3 (57:32):
And I've been in therapy for three years.

Speaker 2 (57:34):
And you reached out to him.

Speaker 7 (57:36):
Yeah, So I reached out to him and he said
he was willing to have dinner, but he wasn't sure
if he was willing to explore our relationship any further.
But he doesn't know that I'm going to drop a
bomb at the same time, you know. Yeah, So I
just I just want to go in I don't I
have my big fears that I'm going to go into
this conversation and he's going to think that I made

(57:56):
these changes for him or something, which is definitely not
the case. And I don't know, I just am having
like a really hard time because you haven't had any
We went from talking all day every day to not
having really any communication for three weeks except for like
two small comments to each other.

Speaker 3 (58:13):
Yeah, so it's just like a scary thing to go into.

Speaker 4 (58:17):
Yeah, I have some I think I've got some thoughts
me too, I have a lot of thoughts. So to
be clear, he doesn't want kids too, or he does
want kids, and you kind of like kids.

Speaker 2 (58:27):
Yeah, And Nasals is saying that through like over the
past couple of weeks, you've realized that you also want kids.

Speaker 4 (58:32):
I think, you know, I've had these troubles happened before
in my relationship. We're like, you know, and you know,
we'll talk and we're like, wow, we don't even know
what the future is going to look like. We don't
and we get in our heads we don't know what
it looks like blah blah blah blah blah, bah blah.
This guy really sounds like he has your best interest
in mine and being heartbroken. You know, it sucks, it's

(58:53):
the worst, it's a risk, but it's also like, you know,
loving someone, it shows how much you love them and
how much you care for him. And I think, like focusing,
like do you do you enjoy spending your day with him?

Speaker 3 (59:05):
With my boyfriend or my expert friend?

Speaker 4 (59:08):
Yeah? Yeah, your boyfriend yeah yeah, yeah.

Speaker 6 (59:10):
Yeah, Like I've never I've never had a relationship where
I felt as like actually just secure and happy as
this one. Yeah, like just constantly id like we had
no real issues that I could identify.

Speaker 4 (59:22):
I think, you know, five years from now, you're going
to be a different and better person. Hopefully five years
from now he'll be a different and better person too.
And if you are willing to bet on that and
you're willing to understand, like you know, explain to him
like yeah, you know, we can't we're not promised tomorrow.
We don't know what tomorrow is really going to look like.
But I know today I want to be with you,
and I enjoy being with you, and we can figure

(59:42):
that out. You know, as long as we go, I think,
you know, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (59:47):
I also think on the side of like, you can't
really know how he's going to react, and you know,
if he does say he doesn't want to get in
a relationship where he doesn't, you could only go into
this conversation with you know, being honest about your feelings
to him and saying, hey, I've had all of his
time to reflect and just make it clear that you know,

(01:00:09):
it's not really about him in this moment, like this
is a decision that you came to by yourself that
is kind of separate from him, like I want kids,
and just being yeah, being super honest and knowing that
whatever he says, you have found something out about yourself
and that's a huge deal as well.

Speaker 4 (01:00:26):
Yeah. Yeah, And it seems like that comment that he
made at dinner one time was you know, you know,
guys like to think about the future. They like, you know,
they see your girl friend across the street and they're like,
I can imagine my life with him, and I'm and
I'm betting Like while he was sitting across from you
at dinner or beside of you at dinner, he was
probably like, man, I like I can't wait to see

(01:00:48):
what that possibly looks like, or like he sees a
glimpse of his future with you, and he also is
scared and he's like, you know, putting up, putting on
his armor that he doesn't get hurt later in the future.
But you know that's a bet, that's a risk.

Speaker 2 (01:01:01):
Yeah, all relationships are at risk.

Speaker 4 (01:01:03):
Yeah, that you're that you want to decide, like do
I want to take it? Do I want to see it?
And I think you know, if it doesn't work out
in the end, you've.

Speaker 2 (01:01:10):
Still been honest. You've still told him how you felt.

Speaker 4 (01:01:12):
Yeah, you've been honest, you told how you felt. And
plus you've enjoyed every moment you've been with that person. Yeah,
you can take that for granted.

Speaker 3 (01:01:19):
Yeah, that's true. Thanks.

Speaker 7 (01:01:22):
I mean, I mean, like I'm I'm excited, I'm also terrified.

Speaker 2 (01:01:26):
It's it's a scary conversation, yeah, because it means a
lot to you. Yeah, that's a huge conversation. But I
think just like knowing I whatever happens like that, this
it seems like this the last couple of weeks have
been a really big time of self discovery for you.
So that's a win, Like regardless it is, however your
relationship turns out like this is a win for you.

Speaker 4 (01:01:47):
And there's a quote. I don't know if if this
is like a big quote, but there's something called like
I love you more. And sometimes whenever I'm like having
a tough day or like I'm not really like su
for sure of my relationship with Angie, I'll be like,
I love you more. And it doesn't mean like I
love her more than she loves me. It means that
I love her more than the obstacles will face than

(01:02:08):
the people that get in between us, then the hard
days ahead of us. And if and you know that
I love her more than that, if you if that's
sort of like the person you want to like love
more than and you want to say that, go for it.
But I mean that's up to you. But that's usually
a quote that lets me know I'm ready for whatever
comes ahead of us and the obstacles. But you got this,

(01:02:29):
you got it ya. Hopefully that helps.

Speaker 2 (01:02:33):
Hopefully.

Speaker 3 (01:02:35):
Also also one thing, my name is Sallas.

Speaker 2 (01:02:38):
Salas, Salas, apologies, Salas. We wills shoot so much luck
and we know that you're gonna, you know, go into
this conversation and have a great conversation.

Speaker 4 (01:02:48):
Yeah, you got it.

Speaker 3 (01:02:50):
I'll keep you guys updated.

Speaker 2 (01:02:51):
Thank you. Yes, and there's some more great comments in
the chat as well.

Speaker 4 (01:02:56):
Okay, I'll go check all right and keep us updated.
Let us know how it goes.

Speaker 2 (01:03:00):
Oh, but I have a great rest of your day
and flight wherever you're.

Speaker 3 (01:03:07):
Yep, fine, home right.

Speaker 4 (01:03:09):
Everyone put hearts in the shot for for Salas Silas,
all right, bye, bye bye, all right, and guys, that
is the end of that episode. So if you love us,
make sure to subscribe.

Speaker 2 (01:03:23):
We love you and see you tomorrow.

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}My mother-in-law keeps OVERSTEPPING my parenting… I finally stood my ground! | Reddit Stories | EP2059