My sister didn’t HONOR our agreement… so I decided to no longer be involved with her! | Reddit Stories - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is John, this is Sam, your og Okay Storytime
podcast hosts, and we have some spectacular stories coming up.

Speaker 2 (00:07):
But real quick, we got a two minute break from
our lovely sponsors keeping this ship sailing.

Speaker 1 (00:12):
My sister didn't honor our argument, so I decided to
no longer be involved with her. No honor, no involvement.
That's the rule. I really need some feedback on this
because it's eating away at me. Back in June, my
grandfather passed away. My grandmother passed away four years ago.
On the day that my grandfather passed, my father called

(00:32):
me forty four female and offered me his home as
my husband, thirty five mal and I are looking to
move where my immediate family lives. By the way, this
comes from Hoy Poy pink fog on the r slash
Okay Storytime subr. So my husband and I discussed it
and we accepted the offer. A few days later, my sister,
forty two female called me and asked if she and

(00:55):
her husband could live in the house until we arrived.
We were looking to move in about a year and
a half from now because they wanted to be able
to live free and save up for a down payment
on a house, since the house would be sitting empty
until we arrived. I said, of course they could. Fast
forward to a couple weeks ago, my son, tu Mel,

(01:15):
and I flew out to Texas for my grandfather's memorial,
and while I was there, my sister was moving things
into the empty house and started to get things situated.
I was missing what I wanted to do with it
when we eventually moved in, and my sister looked kind
of annoyed. I didn't really talk more about it after that.
At one point, my father asked if they needed a

(01:36):
couple of months past when we arrived to get things
finalized and moved out. Would we be okay with that? Again,
I said it on mind. My husband and I own
a home, so we know the process can be lengthy
and things can go sideways. Yesterday, my husband texted me
and asked if everything was okay. I told him that
while I was busy at work, all was fine. But

(01:57):
why was he asking? He told me my sister started
texting him. My sister said to him this verbatim. I
was just curious if you've been brought up to the
speed about the house out here. Hooy POI pink fog
knows that my grandparents and my dad offered it to
us first, and that we plan to live there for

(02:19):
a while before we can save enough money to buy
a place of our own. But while she was out
there a couple of weeks ago, she really made it
seem like she think you guys are moving right in.
When my father offered the home to me, I was
not made aware that the house was offered to her first.
When my husband showed me the text, I called my

(02:41):
dad and asked if that was true. He told me yes,
but that my sister had softly declined. He said her
words were, I don't think we want to do that,
so it was offered to me. My husband then tells
her it's fine because we're good eighteen months away from moving.
My sister then throws this fabulous curveball, Yeah, we were
thinking around five years. Once my husband told me that part,

(03:01):
I became livid. She knew we planned to move in
January twenty twenty six. She only asked to stay in
the house until we arrived, and my dad asked for
a couple additional months after arrival just in case, And
now she decided that they're staying for five years. Immediately,
I blew up on my sister and told her that

(03:22):
she's got some big balls if she thinks she can
attempt to paint this to my husband, like I'm taking
what's rightfully hers away from her. Bottom line, you said no,
and we said yes, and now you've decided you want
it all, you want it after all that you're just
going to take it for however long you want. Then

(03:45):
I then told her I will no longer be talking
to her about this and she will not text my
husband about this again. She went silent, and I called
my dad to fill him on her new five year
plan and that because the home is in his name,
we can communicate about the home through him, as I
was not talking directly to her about this anymore. So

(04:08):
am I the ahole for being mad and blowing up
at my sister about going back on the original agreement.
And honestly, I'd like to know if anyone thinks that
a soft decline is enough to come back and say,
we want it after all, so we're going to take it.
I spoke to my father this morning about what he
spoke with my sister. She denied, saying it would take
five years, but it would definitely be at least a

(04:29):
couple of years. I told my father, we have it
in a text message of her saying it would be
five years. My husband sent the text conversation screenshot to
my father after I relayed this to him. I made
it clear that this was what she does and how
she tries to twist things to her advantage. I also
made it crystal clear that I feel that he needs

(04:49):
to help hold that she declined when she when he
offered it to her, and that we said yes to
the offer. I explained that in reality, if this was
happening outside the family arrangement, there's no way in HG
Double Hockey six anyone else would give her the house
thank rintal agreement type of situation. I also made it

(05:10):
clear that if he decided to let her do what
she wanted instead of honoring the agreement she made with me,
then we would never come to Texas for any reason.
My dad was unhappy to hear that and didn't want
this to tear the family apart. I told him he
needed to hold her accountable for her behavior. He said
he understood and would want to be meeting with my
sister and her husband in a week or so to

(05:31):
discuss in detail, and may or may not need to
call me to be involved in the discussion. So that's
all for right now. I won't have any further updates
I think until that time. Thank you to everyone for
your support and advice. Here's the update. I spoke to
my father yesterday. He decided to compromise and asked us
to hold off until moving until January twenty twenty seven.
We had originally planned for January twenty twenty six, so

(05:53):
my sister could have two years rather than just one.
While I am not happy with this decision, I am
not so stubborn as to dig my heels in. I
am always open to compromise. However, while my husband is
okay with this decision, he won't be solidly behind it
because he asked my father for a written agreement between
the three parties us, my dad, my sister, and her husband.

(06:16):
It must be notarized as well. No response from my
dad yet about the agreement in writing. Oh, that's so crucial.
You gotta have that.

Speaker 2 (06:25):
Mmm, you gotta have that With the sister who clearly
is trying to always push the goalposts.

Speaker 1 (06:30):
We were feeling like he will not agree to that
and that this is where we will draw the line
in the sand. If he declines this request, then not
only will we be going with our Plan B, we
will be going no contact with my dad and sister
and her husband. So that's for the update now. Thank
you to everyone who had a lot of support and

(06:50):
kindness on my original post. It gave me a lot
to think about.

Speaker 3 (06:54):
Edit.

Speaker 1 (06:54):
Yep, just like y'all thought, Dad said no to the
written agreement. He said he's instead going to make some
changes to his will that will settle the matter for good.
That said, I asked for more info and said he
will share with me, my two sisters, and our husbands
once the changes are made. At it too. After putting
a lot of thought into this and reviewing all of

(07:16):
your comments, I told my husband that I will no
longer wish to move to Texas. My family, minus my
youngest sister, who is not involved, has made me feel
very unwelcome at this point, and honestly, I couldn't care
less about what's in my dad's will. I have always
loved my dad for the person who he is, not
what he can give me. We've decided to go with

(07:36):
Plan B moving to Colorado. We have an update to
I have to go right back. Wait do they already
live in Texas? Where do they live before?

Speaker 2 (07:42):
It's not even that I disagree with the principle, It's
just that I disagree with the execution.

Speaker 1 (07:46):
I don't think it's worthy of cutting off I did
in that us I do. I feel like Ope has
been her whole life. I wish you would talk about this.
Maybe she will here in a second. She wants this,
Sister wants it her way. Sister always gets it her way.
It's been like the her whole life, and she's upset
with it because if she's gonna go there, live her
life there, and this is happening right now before she's

(08:07):
even over there, That's that's the life I wouldn't want
to live in. I don't know. Tell me how you
feel face.

Speaker 2 (08:11):
Pard to me, it's just like if you have you
if it's been like that your whole life, shouldn't you
have learned how to work around.

Speaker 1 (08:17):
It by now? No? No, no, I disagree update too, Kyl.
This is going to be a short and final update
for most of those who are new check out this link.
After sitting on our decision for a couple of weeks,
to ensure I was not being hasty. Finally called my dad. Honestly,
I wanted to go to the petty row and wait
until just before we're to move, and had gotten our

(08:39):
word that her sister was mostly moved out to tell
him we're not coming to Texas. However, spite what many
of you think of my dad at this point, I
still love and respect my father and therefore felt obligated
to tell him. I called him yesterday. I called him
yesterday after I knew he was home from church and
told him that we just could give the house to
my sister, as we decided that it would be best

(08:59):
for us and our son to reside in Colorado instead.
I informed him that I've decided to go no contact
with my sister and not to bother wasting his breath
trying to talk to me out of it. I told
him that I was no longer going to allow her
to continue to pull this crap with me. My dad
asked what else she had done, because he couldn't believe
she's done this to me before. I told him that

(09:21):
while this wasn't exactly the same as others, it's her
tactics that she uses to dig herself out of holes
while dropping the dirt on me, making me look like
the bad guy. But you'll never be the bad guy
if you join us live every weekday at three pm PST.
Just tap a profile. That's right. Dad seemed disappointed. No
matter what Reddit thinks of my dad, I wanted my

(09:43):
son to grow up around him and to learn from him.
I've completely blocked my sister on all avenues. My youngest
sister and I are still in contact. We do not
talk about her sister or her husband. I've respected her
request to remain in Switzerland and the whole thing. I've
also placed my dad and my mom on LCS status. Folks,
I implore you to always remember one thing, the quote

(10:05):
that my family loves to toss at each other when
there's a dispute, blood is thicker than water. But my
dear reditor friends, that's not the full quote. The full
quote is the blood of the Covenant is thicker than
the water of the womb. Remember that, okay, Govenant, the promise,
the blood of the covenants, and that is the whole thing. Guys,
tell me, if you agree with Dakota or me, I

(10:27):
just agree fully with them. You already know where we
side with things.

Speaker 2 (10:30):
I just think that there's no reason they couldn't push
back the time, Like, what's the reason that they have
to move in that exact time frame they want?

Speaker 1 (10:36):
They want their son to at a young age to
live near the father, father, near the immediate family, and
to learn from him. And they're like, you know what grandfather,
so his grandfather. Yeah, so they're like, we'll come in
January twenty twenty six. How old is their kid too?
Right now?

Speaker 2 (10:50):
So in three years of be five, that's plenty of time.
It's the perfect age to start being around a grandparent
and developing.

Speaker 1 (10:57):
Yeah, and they were okay with that ship. But since
they didn't get a writ in agreement, she's like, this
is all so sketchy because three years from now they
might be like, oh wait, wait wait, can you wait
another year? Oh wait, wait, can't you wait another in
the will? So it's not it could get all messed up.
But and the sister's always done stuff like this, And
who knows if she's gonna do it again. Because sister
said five years. You don't think after three years she
can swiddle another two. She's already got She went from

(11:19):
eighteen to three you don't think she'd get another two.

Speaker 2 (11:21):
And I think it is pretty telling that they offered
the other sister first and didn't offer it to Ope.
So I think that shows who they kind of side
with a little bit more.

Speaker 1 (11:32):
I'm glad you're on my side.

Speaker 3 (11:34):
I well, I don't know if I.

Speaker 1 (11:38):
Well, we disagree with you, Okay, no, we're going to
the next story.

Speaker 2 (11:41):
I'm more on Op's side than the sister and the
family side. I just don't know if going low contact
is worth it, because it's like, the whole point was
it's like I want my kid to go up around
his grandfather. And now it's like your response is like, well,
I guess I'm going to completely like dissolve that plan
dissolving it.

Speaker 1 (12:00):
It's the Colorado. They're moving to Colorado because the father
will't honor what her request. He did in the will.
We don't know.

Speaker 2 (12:06):
Yeah, there's I feel like that's the whole crux of
that story. My mom said my sister should have married
my husband. Now I think they're trying to sabotage my marriage.

Speaker 1 (12:15):
Oh, you married the wrong one. You gotta go with
this one, you married the wrong sister. Brother.

Speaker 2 (12:20):
I'm upset at my mom and my sister because of
something my mother said. But everyone around me feels like
I'm overreacting. Please be brutally honest in telling me if
I'm being insecure or if my mom and my husband
are wrong in this.

Speaker 1 (12:32):
You got it.

Speaker 2 (12:33):
Let me give you a little bit of backstory. My husband,
James thirty four male, and I twenty nine female, were
neighbors growing up. My sister, fran thirty four female, was
in the same grade. Was in the same grade as
my husband. Growing up, everyone knew my sister in school
because she is very smart and beautiful. And by the way,
this comes from user tell Mom's sister thirty four thirty

(12:55):
two forty two on the Okay story Time Subredda. James
had a huge crush on her, and all of us
knew about it. He asked her out for senior prom
and Franz shot him down in front of the entire school.
They still remained friends, but he moved to a different
state for college and we didn't hear much from him
except to see him when he came back for holidays.
James and I were never friends growing up, since I

(13:15):
was in middle school when this happened. In fact, I
was much younger than both of them, and they would
actively avoid me or involving me in their hangouts and activities.
I went to a good college and got my first
job in the same city as Jane. My mom suggested
that I should contact James since I didn't know anyone there.
We became friends, and then three years later we got married.
We both have high paying jobs and love our life.

(13:37):
We moved back to our hometown during COVID as James's
mom had health issues and our jobs allowed us to
work remotely. Fran also had a pretty good life. She
married when she was twenty three and her husband was
pretty well off. Two years ago, Fran discovered that he
was cheating on her for almost the entire duration of
their marriage with multiple partners, and she decided to break

(13:57):
things off. Fran moved back with my mom and Fran
had not worked for the entire duration of their marriage
and was expecting to gain significant alimony from the divorce. However,
due to complications regarding the prenup, she barely got anything
and is struggling financially.

Speaker 1 (14:13):
She got a.

Speaker 2 (14:13):
Job, but is barely able to afford her own place
and continues living with my mom. James and I were
very supportive of her during the entire process. Since James
and Fran were friends growing up, they both have a
special bond. They've had their inside jokes and stories, and
sometimes I do feel like a third wheel when we're
all together. Ew However, James keeps his distance and has

(14:34):
never given me any reason to believe that he has
lingering feelings for Fran, on the other hand, constantly visits
us like two or three times a week and ends
up staying for dinner and sleeping in our guest room.
I don't mind her coming over, but I don't like
the fact that she talks more to James than with me. Also,
she always comes over when I'm not at home, and

(14:54):
I often find them sitting next to each other on
the sofa watching TV when I get home. It sort
of reminds me of my childhood, where I was locked
out of our basement when Fran had friends over and
I would feel left out. Fran is also too comfortable
around James and walks around.

Speaker 1 (15:09):
The house in just a towel after her.

Speaker 2 (15:11):
Shower when James is around, or sleeps in her underwear
in the guest room without locking the door. I have
voiced my concerns to her, but she says that we
are a family and she does not care. I've also
voiced my concerns to James, and he does make efforts
now to explain stories and inside jokes if Fran makes them.

Speaker 1 (15:28):
The main issue happened this weekend.

Speaker 2 (15:30):
I was hanging out with my mom and Fran last
weekend and Fran was recollecting stories about how James would
do her homework and do chores for her growing up.
She said he was so in love with me, and
I felt guilty taking advantage of him. My mom jokingly
said to her that I wish you had the wits
to marry James then your loser husband, and you would
have not been in this situation. Fran smiled after hearing

(15:54):
that and nodded, but I was hurt by that comment.
I protested to my mom that James is my husband
and I don't want her to make those kind of
comments about him. My mom doubled down and said that
she feels like it's fine because both James and I
are high earners while Fran is struggling financially. She kept
on saying that it was just hypothetical and that she
wants both of her daughters to be happy.

Speaker 1 (16:15):
I did not like.

Speaker 2 (16:16):
Those comments and told them to not speak like that
about James and my marriage in general.

Speaker 1 (16:21):
Fran chimed in and.

Speaker 2 (16:22):
Told me that I should not take the comments so
personally and I'm being too sensitive. However, I had a
fight with both of them about it and then I left.
So when I got home and told James, he also
sided with my mom and Fran and told me that
her mom was just making a harmless joke. I also
raised the issue of Fran's behavior around the house, and
he told me that this is between me and my
sister and he's not going to tell Fran what she

(16:45):
can or cannot wear in the house. However, I just
feel really bad because of this situation, and despite everyone
apologizing to me, things just don't feel right.

Speaker 1 (16:54):
Am I wrong here in reacting the way I did?

Speaker 2 (16:56):
Or does everyone else have a point and I should
just be more secure about my relationship with Jane.

Speaker 1 (17:01):
Thank you everyone for all your support.

Speaker 2 (17:03):
On my previous post to summarize what happened, my mom
made a really off putting comment that she wished my
sister Fran was married to my husband James. I got
really mad, and my husband also tried to undermine my
feelings and told me I was overreacting to a harmless joke.

Speaker 1 (17:16):
Sorry for the.

Speaker 2 (17:16):
Long post, but a lot of you were messaging me
for the update and wanted me to tell you what happened.
The comments made me very paranoid, and I did see
everyone's point that James may have just married me because
of his crush on Fran. This really shot up my
anxiety and I started snooping around. My husband literally makes
me check his phone for new messages when he is

(17:37):
not around, so I knew there was nothing to hide there. However,
I was spooked by how my sister always knows when
I'm not at home and why James and Fran are
always sitting on the same couch when I come home.
I tried talking to my husband and he told me
that my feelings were valid. However, he also said that
Fran is going through a tough time and refused to
say anything bad about my mom and Fran. Last time Friday,

(18:00):
I went to the gym as usual in the evening,
and when I came home, Fran was sitting in the
living room while James was cooking dinner.

Speaker 1 (18:08):
I got a bit.

Speaker 2 (18:08):
Angry and asked her what is she doing here. She
said she had no plans for the night and she
came to.

Speaker 1 (18:13):
Hang out with us.

Speaker 2 (18:14):
It really annoyed me, and I told her that I
wanted to spend a quiet weekend with my husband and
if she can come some other time. She could see
that I was upset, and she started saying how our
mom was just being silly and I need to let
it go since it was just a joke. I told
her I did not find it funny, and then we
got into a fight.

Speaker 1 (18:33):
She said that I am always.

Speaker 2 (18:34):
An insecure, annoying kid, and no wonder no one liked me.
It really hurt me, but James stepped in and told
Fran that she needs to leave. I have never seen
James be so forceful with Fran. Fran muttered some unpleasant
things to James and then left. I was in tears
by the end of the whole thing, and James was
consoling me. I was really upset and spent the night

(18:56):
in our room alone. In the morning, I prepared no
votes on all of the things that I wanted to ask. James,
your comments really helped me get my thoughts straight. I
know I was being very insecure, but after reading the comments,
I really started questioning if James really married me for
me or just because I was Fran's sister and look
like her. People called me dollar store Fran in high school.

(19:18):
H James and I had a long conversation and I
told him my anxieties and insecurities.

Speaker 1 (19:23):
I told him how it makes.

Speaker 2 (19:24):
Me feel that he spends so much time with Fran
when she visits us and they have their own little
inside jokes. I asked him if he still has feelings
for her. He was calm and smiling the whole time,
and he told me that he would tell me the truth,
but doesn't want me to hate him for it. Later,
he said that he knows Fran used him all through
their school days because she knew he liked her. When
he went to college, Franz still tried to keep in

(19:46):
touch with him, but putting distance between them made him
realize how badly she treated him, and he decided to
just cut contact with her so that he can work
on himself. That was the reason he rarely visited us
when he used to come for holidays and stopped being
friends with Fran. I told him that it bothered me
that he chose Fran before me and ignored me during
our childhood. That was the reason I always had that

(20:08):
doubt if I was his second choice.

Speaker 1 (20:10):
He said that I was thirteen.

Speaker 2 (20:11):
When he went to college, and if he would have
liked me instead of Fran at that age, we would
have been having a different problem.

Speaker 1 (20:17):
Yeah, he's right, you can't be doing that.

Speaker 2 (20:21):
He told me that when I contacted him, he thought
that I must be like Fran and was not very
enthusiastic to meet me. However, after we hung out a
few times, he realized that I'm nothing like Fran and
we soon became close.

Speaker 1 (20:32):
Then we started dating and we got married after a
few years.

Speaker 2 (20:35):
He told me that Fran was married by then and
he saw that I always put Fran on the pedestal
and would get jealous when Fran posted vacation pictures of
the new, shiny things her husband bought for That was
the reason he never told me that he doesn't like
hanging around Fran, as he feels that for me, Fran
was always the north star. He told me that he
had always kept his distance from Fran and she was

(20:57):
a non issue since we would only meet her a
few times a year. However, after her divorce, he didn't
know how to act. He said that he was grateful
to me for uprooting our lives and moving back to
our hometown for his mom's health. He wanted to do
the same and take care of my family. When Fran
got divorced, he supported her in every way that he
could for me, even though he realized it meant spending

(21:18):
a lot of time with her and listening to her
bring up all of the memories from high school that
he wants to forget. I told him it bothered me
that Fran came to our house as often as she does,
and generally in the evenings when I go to the gym.
He told me that he also finds it odd that
she knows my gym routine and always comes on evenings
when I'm not at home. However, he told me that
he has always kept his distance from her, and if

(21:41):
she did anything that would raise an alarm, he would
have told me immediately. She just makes him watch all
the old movies or TV shows that they watched growing
up and gossips endlessly about their old high school friends.
He told me, I need to trust him, and if
I want him to be the bad guy and ask
Fran to not visit us often that he could do
that for me. He knows that I will eventually make

(22:02):
up with my mom and Fran and does not want
them to blame him for being mean to Fran. He
told me that he will not tell Fran what to
wear around the house, as it would be creepy if
it came from him. I felt that I got all
the assurance I needed from James, and I will never
doubt how amazing of a husband he has been, and
will never doubt how amazing you are when you join

(22:22):
us live on YouTube every weekday at three pm PST.
Just at our profile and you know, let's discuss where
we're at.

Speaker 1 (22:28):
We got a little bit left. Keep this short, but
it was nice because you helped out with the mom.
He's like, oh, of course, I'll help out with the sister,
not understanding your complex history with the sister. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (22:38):
He wasn't tapped into the dynamic that Op had with
her sister. Yeah, and he assumed that he was doing
something that would make him look better in Op's eyes, Yeah,
when really she was just like stopping out with the
sister that I don't even like. Also, the north Star
comment threw me off a little bit. Yeah, that threw
me off too. I don't know if that was just
raised funny. I think he was saying that he thought
that op looked up to her sister.

Speaker 1 (23:00):
Got it, and like, so since Opie so that he
thought that OPI looked up to his sister, he thought
that in her vulnerable time, he should have been consoling her.
I don't really like that. I understand that OPI and
the sister were high school friends. I just think, well,
the sister should have she did in a sneaky kind
of way. She could have done it in a more
kind of like not sneaky way. What do you mean,

(23:21):
like like, oh, you're gone to the gym, I'll just
go hang out with your host. No yeah, yeah no.

Speaker 2 (23:27):
The the timing and even like James, like the husband
is like, yeah, I thought it was. It's kind of
weird too that she keeps coming over when you're not here.
But I do believe. I believe him when he says
it's like if she ever tried anything weird, like I
would have let you know.

Speaker 1 (23:42):
I'd let you know immediately.

Speaker 2 (23:43):
And the sister was definitely the way that he also
like like kicked her out that, you know, after she
kind of crossed the line. Like, I think it's very
clear based on you know, he could have had her
back more when like the joke was made.

Speaker 1 (23:54):
I just don't think he had full context because he
thought Op looked up to his sister.

Speaker 2 (23:58):
Yeah, he still wasn't down. Yeah, he's just so like
not interested in Fran at all. Thank God that he's like,
we don't even need to care about that joke because
it's such a joke.

Speaker 1 (24:09):
Would there's no universe where I'd be with that woman.
I would go, Dude, I wish we had wonder woman's
last soo of truth. I would wrap that around your
sister's around your sister's neck and be like, do you
want to my husband, That's what I would do. Do
you want to? And she'd be like yes, and God,
that's what I would do.

Speaker 2 (24:27):
And then and then you could use that lass of
truth send her to the greatest truth of all the grave.

Speaker 1 (24:33):
That's what I would do with I was a sister. Yeah,
maybe Op should find it and wrap it around and
her like wrist and ask her yeah maybe yeah, maybe
maybe just not go the full blown you know, we're out.
I would dude, I would be so livid, Like God,
that's what I would do. So let's let's finish this off.

Speaker 2 (24:50):
My mom and Fran visited us on Sunday, and my
mom profusely apologized to me.

Speaker 1 (24:55):
Let's go w Mom.

Speaker 2 (24:58):
She told me that she doesn't want me to feel
bad for her comment and she would never wish anything
bad on my marriage. She meant to say that James
was a great guy and she hopes Fran can find
someone like him one day. Fran was a bit sour
but apologize to us for all of the name calling
on Friday and told us that it's just her hormones.
She said that she likes hanging out with her sister
and her best friend and hence comes to our house.

(25:20):
I told her that she's welcome to come anytime that
she wants, but to call ahead of time in case
James and I have plans for the evening, and she agreed.
I really want to move past this issue, but I
do want to put some firm boundaries on when Fran
can come over to our house and hang out with
James alone, as I know that.

Speaker 1 (25:36):
This bothers him too.

Speaker 2 (25:37):
Overall, I feel like things are good now and I'm
glad that my worst fears did not come true, but
I do feel I need some therapy.

Speaker 1 (25:44):
In order to deal with my insecurities.

Speaker 4 (25:46):
I like this update. This was a great ending. Perfect
I love this. Seldom do we find a perfect ending
to a story. Yeah, but I feel like this has
ended in the most perfect way it could have.

Speaker 1 (25:58):
Yeah, husband's on your side. Mom apologized, sister could have
been better. Sister is clearly not going to steal your husband. Yeah,
clearly not going to steal. And it also shows she's
still kind of like the villain and the story. She's like, sorry,
my hormones.

Speaker 2 (26:10):
Like, yeah, if anyone to keep an eye on her,
your sister needs some growing to do.

Speaker 1 (26:14):
Yeah. Overall, and you're taking care of yourself. You see
this psychological damage that your upbringing has given you, and
you're like, I need to change that too. I love this.
I love this. That's a ten out of ten. Nice job, Op.

Speaker 2 (26:31):
I hope everything's going just wonderful for you right now
and your cool husband James.

Speaker 1 (26:35):
This is probably my favorite story of the month. Hey,
it's Sam.

Speaker 2 (26:38):
We're gonna get back to the stories, but here's three
minutes of bads from her sponsors.

Speaker 3 (26:41):
I told my parents not to include my stepdaughter in
their will. My husband's furious with me, but he did
the same thing. Hypocrit I thirty five female, have two
kids seventeen. They're male and female twins, and one stepdaughter eighteen,
who I met when she was eleven. The other day,
I was at my parents' house going over some estate

(27:02):
planning as I am the executor. While reviewing, I saw
my folks had split their assets to be half for
my two siblings and I and the other half for
their grandkids, all to be distributed evenly. My stepdaughter was included.
When I asked them about this, they said they wanted
to be fair. Their estate isn't super large, but the

(27:23):
sum would be substantial. Think new car. By the way,
this comes from U slash Conscious Tension four nine to
one on the r slash Okay story Time to Sepreddit.
I told my parents that, while generous of them, I
didn't think it would be necessary and would be better
to split between their five grandkids. That's very generous, ever,
that's nice. When we got home, my husband said he

(27:44):
overheard what I said and that I was being an
a hole for alienating his daughter. I told him My
reasoning was because she is the only child, grandchild, niece
on both her parents' sides, and that she would set
her grandparents own multiple properties. Her uncles are fairly well

(28:05):
off and live in a hcol area, And well, she's
the only kid, and it's not looking like, at least
in his side, that she'll have any cousins. Plus their
collective net worth is substantially more than my side. I
also asked him if his parents included my kids in
their estate, but he refused to answer. Suspicious still, he

(28:28):
said I was being an a hole and accused me
of not caring about her future. I think I was
doing the right thing by looking out for my kids
and their cousins. Am I the a hole?

Speaker 1 (28:38):
How old's daughter? The stepdaughter?

Speaker 3 (28:39):
Stepdaughter is eighteen. There's still more to read? But what
do we think so far?

Speaker 1 (28:43):
I say you are the a hole?

Speaker 3 (28:45):
Edit. I was told to include this in the post.
Number one. I didn't argue with or pressure my parents
to make a change. I simply mentioned that I didn't
feel it was necessary for her to receive a monetary amount.
Number two my mom on giving her a set of
family heirloom jewelry that is her birthstone. I think this
is quite thoughtful. I am not a big jewelry person,

(29:07):
and she has other sets for the other girls in
the family, so I feel this is okay.

Speaker 1 (29:11):
Trying to dig theirselves out a hole here.

Speaker 3 (29:13):
Number three. My parents have seen her about three to
five times a year since I met her. Number four,
my nephews and my kids do not have active relationships
with their biological father's sides. My niece is a new
mom and works at a restaurant. I feel that financial
inheritance would be more impactful for them, even as such

(29:35):
a small amount. Number five. I know my stepdaughter is
set to inherit at least two houses in a major
US city with hcool. I found this out a while
back after my husband asked me to help them organize
his office. I had to read through papers to know
how to file them accordingly. The paper was a certified
copy and was drafted soon after we were married. My

(29:57):
kids were not included. I am not sure if it
has been updated. I did not ask him about it
at the time because I did not have an issue
with it. Number six. There is a distance in the relationship,
but I don't feel it's my fault. I can explain this.
When I met her mom for the first time, she
made it very clear that I wasn't her mom. I

(30:20):
didn't see this as an issue because I didn't want
to overstep as a mom myself, and I could see
where she was coming from and respected her request. But
as time progressed, our opportunity to spend time together became
less frequent. At first, my husband had every other weekend visitation.
It became less frequent as she became a teenager because

(30:41):
she wanted to spend the night with friends and hang out, etc.
Which I see as normal teenager behavior. The other piece
is that we were never invited to be included in
major celebrations for her. We usually celebrated birthdays with her
a week after because we weren't invited. My husband was
just not us. So she's also never spent Thanksgiving or

(31:03):
Christmas with us because her mom wanted those days again,
which I saw was fine because that's her only child.
My husband would spend holidays with her at her mom's house,
which I encourage because I knew the importance of father
daughter connections. We also were not invited to her high
school graduation. I think she's a beautiful and brilliant young woman,

(31:25):
and I care for her tremendously, but it's challenging to
develop deep, meaningful relationships with people you have little contact with,
and for people putting me in the category of the
evil stepmother saying that I see her as other, don't
think that I haven't been trying since the beginning. I
include her in every way I can in the times
that she is with us, by doing things like teaching

(31:48):
her family recipes, taking her shopping for clothes so that
she doesn't have to bring things back and forth, and
attending every school athletic event that I could. I have
tried to include her in my family vacation planning, but
was told by her mother that unless the vacation occurred
on a weekend we're scheduled to have time with her,
then she would not allow us to have the time.

(32:11):
This limited our options to local weekend trips, but even
then her mom comes up with some reason she can't join,
including surprise trips to another state. I even suggested a
family cruise in lieu of a honeymoon to celebrate our
new family, but was blocked by her mom. My husband
is allowed to take her on extended vacations. As long
as it's just the two of them. Okay, there's still more,

(32:34):
but it's kind of sounding like it's the mom that
has the issue now, not the girl. So before I
was thinking it's the eighteen year old like not wanting
anything to do with her stepmom, but sounds pretty clearly
like the original mom. She's gone the shots. She wants
to take control of the situation. She does not want
the stepmom involved at all.

Speaker 1 (32:55):
Yikes, because when did they get together? Hold was a stepdaughter?

Speaker 3 (32:58):
Do you think eleven years? Those are some pretty formative
years in your life that you're with them, And I
think that that's okay to have that connection. I feel like,
especially if this stepmom has been trying like so hard
to like make an effort and to be there for
this stepdaughter and to be as much of a good
mom as she can, then like, I think there's just

(33:20):
really no problem. I've tried to be flexible in accommodations
around holidays by postponing things like Christmas Morning so that
she can be included. This created frustration in my kids
because they felt like they shouldn't have to put their
lives aside to accommodate for her. One year when the
holiday occurred on one of our planned weekends, I came
up with a suggestion of celebrating Christmas on Christmas Eve

(33:41):
so we could do the full family thing. My kids
weren't thrilled, but they understood. In the end, we didn't
end up spending any time with her, as her mom
told us that she planned on having a dinner party
on Christmas Eve and needed my stepdaughter to help her prepare.
That seems like a BS excuse. That's crazy.

Speaker 1 (34:02):
This is really frustrating.

Speaker 3 (34:03):
When the time came for college applications, I was ecstatic
to be asked by my stepdaughter to help her with
the applications, but soon after it was told that her
mom hired a professional to help her get into her
top choice of school, and I was no longer needed.

Speaker 1 (34:19):
It's nice. It just seems every time you try to
step in to be any sort of mother figure for
this child, the mom.

Speaker 3 (34:28):
Is like, Nope, get out of there. Can't be having
that exactly, that's not fun because especially like if this
stepdaughter was excited to tell the stepmom about this, Like
the stepdaughter seems like she really wants to have that relationship,
but her og mom isn't having it at all. I
wonder if anything similar happened in like the OG parents relationship,

(34:52):
you know, Like, I wonder if any of this has
something to do with why they got divorced in the
first place, if she's like controlling or something like that.
I have tried to have a bond with her with
the little time that I have. I have consistently brought
up to my husband that I feel like we needed
more time with her to help build a relationship, at
the very least by him maintaining his every other weekend schedule.

(35:15):
He has told me that ultimately, her mom is her mom,
and she determines her schedule and how she spends her time.
He has also expressed that he fears that if he
undermines her mom, then he might lose the time in
relationship that he does have with her, and I do
not want to be the reason for any sort of
break in their relationship. His time and relationship with her

(35:35):
hasn't changed, so maybe he doesn't see the need for
me and my kids to be involved. But if he
doesn't advocate for us, then what am I supposed to do?
There is another update that was posted the next day
after that one. What are we thinking what is she
supposed to do?

Speaker 1 (35:53):
Well, she can't do anything. This isn't her will, and
I'm thinking, like, is she getting this money right now?
But like the grandparents have a died, so she's not
getting anything right now. If I was the grandparents and
I felt this way, and I felt every single thing
Opie was feeling, I would be like, Okay, she's eighteen now,
she can now make her decisions. She is being influenced

(36:13):
by a parent, but she has decisions to see her
dad and to see her family now. If she seems
like she's more leaning towards the family, I would consider
giving her a part of the will, But I understand
that it's not really been her choice this whole time.
And if she decides to like stay on the mom's
side and not like really be a part of this
family just visit here and there, I don't know if

(36:34):
I would like give her that much.

Speaker 3 (36:35):
What do you think she's supposed to do about like
just them spending time with the stepdaughter at all. It
seems like the og mom really just isn't wanting any
of that to happen. I think the dad is worried
about that too.

Speaker 1 (36:48):
Yeah, it's tricky because I'm afraid the mom doesn't want
to be replaced as a mom.

Speaker 3 (36:53):
Yeah, I think so, but I mean she knows that
she won't be I.

Speaker 1 (36:56):
Want to know who divorced to in the divorce and why.
I feel like that would give more context of like
the dad was a bad dad or the mom was
a bad mom, because it seems like just from this
one perspective, the mom is a bad mom. She's very controlling,
and this is what's going on.

Speaker 3 (37:09):
Then it's interesting though, because it seems like they just
get her on the weekends every other weekend, so it
seems like the mom has some majority custody, which is interesting.
That's just a really tough situation, and it does because
Opie really is not in a position of power in this.
But there is an update that was made the next day,
so let's see major update. I haven't had the opportunity

(37:31):
to have a discussion with my husband about all this,
as I was waiting to speak with my therapist to
get advice on the best way to approach the conversation. However,
I did receive a phone call this morning from my
father in law, who I see as an absolute angel
of a man. Apparently my husband told his mom about
our arrangement, and my mother in law went off, and

(37:52):
this is how my father in law found out about it.
The father in law asked me what my side of
the story was, and I very am emotionally told him
everything as I listed in the op. I told him
it was not my intention to alienate the stepdaughter in
any way, and that this whole thing has created a nightmare.
After a deep breath and a slight pause, my father

(38:15):
in law said, I did the right thing. A few
years ago, my father in law suffered a series of strokes.
He said that this has prompted him to want to
reevaluate the estate to make sure that everything was in order.
He is quite old, close to ninety, and has a
lot of underlying health issues. He and my mother in

(38:36):
law share all of their assets, and she is also
in his poa in case anything happens, and because they
have a family trust, he wanted to include her and
his son in this discussion. He told me that he
brought up that he wanted to include my children in
the family trust. He told me he proposed to allow
for ten percent of the trust's liquid assets to be

(38:59):
split between my two two kids to help get a
start on life. That's so nice. He then said that
my mother in law pushed back very hard, saying that
because my children were not biologically related to their family,
then they should not be considered. When he asked my
husband his thoughts on it, my father in law said
my husband's response was that it would be best to

(39:20):
keep it in family, but that he would consider including
us in his portion upon his passing if he and
I were still together. The father in law said that
this was a surprise because at that point we were
still basically in newlyweds and was surprised a new husband
would even think that way. My mother in law's response
to that was unhappy, saying again we weren't blood and

(39:42):
that this was a family issue. Because of the stress
caused by the situation, and because of the recent strokes,
father in law did not want to press things any further. Yeah,
that's probably the safest thing for whom father in law said. Afterwards,
he pulled my husband aside to find out more about
what he had meant and to be assured that Mike
kids would be included, and was basically told by my

(40:03):
husband he would do what was best for his family,
and the conversation dropped. Now. The father in law said
that he didn't push any further at this point because
he was getting tired from the conversation, but in light
of what was happening and how my mother in law
and husband are responding behind closed doors, he felt it
was necessary to let me know. I'm so glad that

(40:23):
the father in law is like n Op's corner. It's
so like relieving to have someone else like that. He
said that the stepdaughter is set to be more than
okay when it comes time, and that my husband has
asked to tap into funds to pay for her college
so she would not need to take out any loans,
which he agreed to. He said he asked my husband

(40:45):
if he would do the same for my kids, and
that my husband's response was that he would ask when
the time came, as my kids did not know yet
what was going to happen regarding college missions. Interesting. Interesting,
he's just being like way more protective and like hesitant
when it comes to his stepkids. Crazy crazy father in

(41:09):
law asked me if my husband and I had this conversation.
I told them that my husband and I discussions about
my kids' school was that they would need to take
out loans finish college, and then we would help pay
off half the loans together once they graduated. My husband
has never suggested that anything for my kids college would

(41:29):
be paid for through his family trust. My father in
law was very apologetic.

Speaker 1 (41:35):
Oh my gosh, dude, because she has.

Speaker 3 (41:37):
Two stepkids, right, yeah, so it's like only one out
of three of the kids is being cared for, saying
he should have pushed further as he loves us greatly
and feels like he did not do enough. I told
him it was not his fault and that he should
not feel responsible for any of this, and that I
did not want him to feel obligated to make any
changes or bring it up with the mother in law

(41:59):
and husband, because I knew it would create additional stress
for him, and I wanted him to take care of
his peace. I just love their dynamics so much. I
love these two favorite characters. He said, though his desire
would be to do so, that since his wife and
he have a joint in estate and that she is
power of attorney, that he felt like it would be

(42:20):
more trouble than it's worth. He is blind and has
a lot of mobility issues, so anything he does, he
is dependent on her. He also said that based on
what he's heard on his side, he felt if he
did update his will, then they would likely contest it,
which would create a financial burden on my end, and
he didn't want to create a negative situation. I told

(42:41):
him again that it was okay and that we would
be okay in life, and that he is not responsible
for anything that happened. I told him that my intention
wasn't to be added to the trust, just to make
a point to my husband, to which he said he
understood and agreed. He apologized again. We told each other
how much we loved one another, and he ended the

(43:02):
call saying he considered me a person of integrity, which
is a rare gem.

Speaker 1 (43:07):
Wow. And that's so tough that he can't do anything
because people will be like, oh, he's olden, senile. He
doesn't mean it exactly.

Speaker 3 (43:15):
But you know how you can be a rare Gems
by joining us live on YouTube every weekday at three
pm PSD. Just tap our profile. That's all it takes.
Now that I have this information, I feel like this
whole situation brought to light a lot of things I
hadn't considered regarding my marriage. Also, writing out everything regarding

(43:36):
how my husband navigated his relationship with his daughter slash
ex wife really put things into perspective that makes me
feel like we were never a priority to him. I'm
not sure where to go from here. I plan to
bring all this up with my therapist and talk it
out to figure out what I should do. But I
no longer feel like the a hole for advocating for

(43:57):
my biological family because my husband and his side have
been advocating for theirs. Father in law excluded and that
is the end of the story. But that's a good point.
That's interesting to me that because that reminds me again
of in the beginning when they were all like, hey,
why are you not wanting to like include the stepdaughter

(44:21):
in their will? Like, wasn't it a big issue? It
was like a little sketchy to them, and we were
called her the a whole at.

Speaker 1 (44:28):
The beginning, But after getting all this context, yeah.

Speaker 3 (44:31):
I don't think it is at all, because I mean,
apparently blood family is the most important here, and the.

Speaker 1 (44:37):
Father in law would do something about it and would
change it. It just would bring rain and fire to
your children.

Speaker 3 (44:44):
Yeah, so I think, like, if the father in law
never actually changes it, then like, ope, he should keep
it that way where the stepdaughter doesn't get anything from
her parents. But if the father in law is able
to change it, then like sure, I don't know. I
think it would be a very polite thing to do
to like, well, even if you guys aren't gonna include us,
we're gonna include you, you know. I think that's a

(45:05):
very polite thing to do. However, it does make it
more difficult when her side of the family really doesn't
have as much as the other side.

Speaker 1 (45:14):
I just found out my mom stole three hundred dollars
worth of my wedding gifts five years later. Oh boy,
hey everyone, longtime Alurker, first time poster. So I hope
this flow's all right. So, like my title says, I
just found out my mom may have stolen three hundred
dollars worth of presents from me. A little background. My

(45:34):
grandmother lives in another state. She's a literal saint and
she gives that expecting anything back, and is really a
person you need to protect at all costs because of
how sweet she is. Her and my grandfather were the
only people who sent us money for our wedding. We
didn't expect anyone to help pay for it. By the way,

(45:55):
this comes from sweaty letter on the arsash Okay storytime separated,
so he wanted to pay for our wedding, so no
one could have a say because unfortunately, my husband and
I both have very controlling needs to the main character mom's,
and she wasn't sure if she was going to be
able to make it to my bridle shower. We'll come
back to that in a moment. But she was able

(46:17):
to and got me this beautiful dish set that was
exactly what I wanted. This morning, I got a text,
good morning, I'd like to talk to you soon, please,
and I let her know. Of course I'd love to talk.
I always loved talking to her, but something fell off.
She calls me about two hours ago and starts talking
about how long my husband and I have been married.

(46:39):
We are about to celebrate our five years. Congrats, and
she says, speaking of five years ago, your grandfather and
I came to see everyone after Christmas, and you and
your hubby weren't able to make it. So I had
given your mom a bunch of gifts for you, and
so let her know this was for your bridle shower,
since I wasn't sure if I was going to be

(47:01):
able to make it. I honestly did make it to
your bridle shower, and you got the dish set you wanted.
Well about six months to a year ago, when I
was up visiting you and was talking with you and
your mom, I asked you did you get all those
gifts I got you? And you said, what gifts? And
your mom said, I'll tell you about it later. And

(47:22):
now I'm pissed off, wondering if you've even gotten any
of it. WHOA, The mom put a little.

Speaker 3 (47:32):
Right, she said, we have gifts at home. And then
it's like when your mom says that you can have
McDonald's on the way back from wherever you're going, and
then you are on your way back and then you
see her just slowly drive past McDonald's, like weave a second,
but did she say, and then you don't get McDonald's that.

Speaker 1 (47:52):
Day, Or if your grandparents give you like some money
in a gift card and then she takes it and
puts it in your savings account, Yeah, it feels like that.
It's like I could like buy one hundred dollars worth
of play blades, Mom, but you won't let me please Mom.
No On pissed once I found out it's like three
hundred dollars worth of stuff.

Speaker 3 (48:09):
That's a lot.

Speaker 1 (48:10):
It's been five years ago, so how can I really
tell what is from her or not showed me? She
had a list and the brand. I let her know
i'd go home and look through my kitchen stuff. When
she says the most heartbreaking thing, I'll never expect to
thank you for anything I do. And I knew you

(48:31):
were going to do a lot with planning your wedding
and all that stuff. But when I didn't get a
thank you, I was surprised, and that's why I asked
she was looking for a thank you the grandmother.

Speaker 3 (48:42):
The grandma was looking for a thank you.

Speaker 1 (48:43):
Thank you for all the gifts that she gave her.

Speaker 3 (48:45):
So the grandma was looking for a thank you and
didn't get one, but wasn't gonna.

Speaker 1 (48:49):
Like ask, like, oh, you're super busy, understand.

Speaker 3 (48:52):
Five years later she brings it up. Turns out that
hope he didn't even get the gifts in the first place.

Speaker 1 (48:58):
I told her that if I've never thank you to
a gift, she's given me. Then I am truly sorry
because she helped me out so much in my life
and I'm truly grateful for her. She told me, talking
to you makes everything better. And we told each other
we love you and miss you, and that was the
end of the conversation. Got a little bit and then
we got an update coming up. Oh my gosh. So

(49:20):
now I have the list and I'm going to look
at it at my home and all my stuff. But
the advice I need is what should I do if
I am missing things? Do I confront my mom? Or
do I let my grandmother confront mom?

Speaker 3 (49:33):
So what's the list?

Speaker 1 (49:34):
The grandma gave all the things that grandma was giving
to her, so all of.

Speaker 3 (49:37):
These gifts were just Grandma's gifts.

Speaker 1 (49:39):
The three hundred dollars stuff missing, she never got to
thank you and was like, did you ever get it?

Speaker 3 (49:44):
I was thinking this was like multiple people's gifts. Well,
good thing they've got like this list of seeing what
they're missing, or like a receipt a gift receipt of
just their actual gifts.

Speaker 1 (49:53):
Should I let it go? Because it's been five years,
I don't know what to do. Also, I wouldn't be
surprised if my mom stole it, we gifted it or
did something with it. My grandma sent my husband and
I'm matching perfume and cologne, and my mom only gave
me the colone and said she couldn't find the perfume.
Plus there's a lot more I could get into that

(50:14):
would take a lot to post. And thank god, I've
gone to therapy for my childhood, so she has history
of doing stuff like this.

Speaker 3 (50:22):
So the mom just took the perfume and was just like, oh,
I just can't find it. Oh, I just can't find
it anyway, Sorry, where else would it be if you
didn't touch it? Where else would it be if it
wasn't in the box? On the mom?

Speaker 1 (50:36):
It was an update. Do you think the mom stolen? Absolutely,
she's the prime suspect here, I suspect.

Speaker 3 (50:42):
Take her a jill, take her away.

Speaker 1 (50:44):
Hey everyone, I'm going to start by answering some questions
and clearing up some things, and then I'll get into
the update. A lot of people asked why my grandma
didn't give them to me directly. She lives out of
state and they were for my bridle shower and she
wasn't sure if she was gonna be able to make
it and gave them to my mom and to give
to me as a surprise. Also, she's a literal saint,

(51:05):
so like she's very considerate in all way, shapes and forms.

Speaker 3 (51:08):
We love and protect the Grandma.

Speaker 1 (51:11):
That last part, but I thought, Grandma is not Mom's mom,
she's Grandma on my dad's side.

Speaker 3 (51:18):
Makes sense why the santity did not, you know, get
passed on.

Speaker 1 (51:23):
Grandma bought this stuff five years ago, so she doesn't
exactly remember everything and doesn't have the receipts. Also, a
lot of you asked if my mom has done shady
stuff like this before. To my knowledge, she hasn't stolen
anything before from me or from anyone for whom she
could have kept. But she also could have had very

(51:44):
well loss to do. A very disorganized.

Speaker 3 (51:46):
House seems a little fishy to me.

Speaker 1 (51:48):
I have a very interesting relationship with my mom. I
don't really see her too much. I talk on the
phone with her maybe once or twice a week now.
Might take another post to get into all that the updates.
So when I got home last night, I started going
through my stuff and the list. I found about four
to five gifts that were on the list, not all

(52:09):
equaling to the full three hundred dollars. Grandma was so
happy to see at least got some of the gifts.
She now will send anything directly to me. By the way,
you can directly see us every weekday at three PMPST.
Just tap a profile. I got a little bit more here.

Speaker 3 (52:25):
Any thoughts, I think we exactly know where that perfume is.
I think it's interesting that they don't have a history
of the mom like stealing things in the past. It's
kind of interesting, like it seems like theyre is still
history with her. It's still that stuff in the childhood
that she had to work through in therapy, but none
of it involved stealing, which is interesting to me.

Speaker 1 (52:47):
But I don't know.

Speaker 3 (52:48):
Let's finish it out.

Speaker 1 (52:49):
A lot of you want me to confront my mom,
but I'm unfortunately not going to. Grandma doesn't want to
start any problems and just wants to keep the peace.
I usually have no and calling my mom out on
her bs and if this was just between her and
I I would one percent press her, But since Grandma
has asked me not to start any problems, I will

(53:12):
respect her wishes. She truly is the sweetest lady and
deserves the world.

Speaker 3 (53:18):
Ah, Grandma just doesn't want any problems and since and
I think probably because of her involvement in it. Like
I wonder if this was someone else, I wonder if
the grandma would like care if they started, like got
into it or not. But I think because the grandma,
it was like the grandma's presence, she probably just doesn't
want to be involved at all if something like went

(53:40):
over to her, which makes sense, which makes sense.

Speaker 1 (53:42):
And my husband, I think either my mom kept them
to a gift to other people or kept thing for herself.
My mom was the kind of mother who gets jealous
of her daughters and wants to live vicariously through them. Sorry,
if this wasn't some bad butt, I confronted my mom
and justice update. I gotta respect grandma's wishes. Thank you

(54:04):
for everyone who gave advice in sharing her stories. If
you have any more questions, I can answer them in
the comments edit the gifts I found, I do remember
my mom giving them to me. I just don't remember
if she said they were from my grandma and grandpa
and what they were for. I found maybe four maybe
five out of the nineteen Grandma listed five out of

(54:25):
the nineteen.

Speaker 3 (54:26):
Oh my gosh, whoa wild What do you think should
do with them?

Speaker 1 (54:31):
Dude? eBay, bro pawn shop.

Speaker 3 (54:33):
Ebe pawnshop, regifting.

Speaker 1 (54:36):
Or added them to her house hoarder collection.

Speaker 3 (54:39):
Yeah, keeping them for herself. Those are our options. That
really does sting because her sweet little grandma. I would
love to see my sweet little grandma got me. It's
justly if it's a list of nineteen things, like, that's
a lot. That's a lot of things. So that's just
really like upsetting. I would be so disappointed, like if
I was ope selfishly because I want that stuff, but

(55:02):
also two because like disappointed that my grandma didn't get
that joy that you get when you give someone something
that they need or that they want. You know, she
wants us to thank you, and she won't get that
because people on eBay don't say thank you.

Speaker 1 (55:16):
Hey, it's sam. We get back to the stories. But
here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

Speaker 3 (55:20):
My brother's girlfriend doesn't respect our family and now she's
living with us.

Speaker 1 (55:26):
Oh gosh, it's a little close to home, doesn't.

Speaker 3 (55:29):
It for context to My brother and I live with
our parents. Seventy five female and seventy six male.

Speaker 1 (55:35):
Oh my gosh, that's crazy.

Speaker 3 (55:38):
The whole family is in one house. We weren't financially
stable enough to live on our own as young adults,
so we both stayed home as a Filipino household. This
is pretty normal. I've been ready to leave for the
past couple of years, but our parents have reached an
age where they need help around the house. We pay
the bills and do any heavy housework. By the way,

(55:58):
this comes from you slash lost seventy one oh six
on the r slash Okay storytime Supreddit.

Speaker 1 (56:03):
So it's not an American family.

Speaker 3 (56:05):
Not an American family? Well, I mean, yeah, we don't know.
They might be in America, but it's just Filipino.

Speaker 1 (56:11):
Yeah. Yeah, sorry. If I just heard that, I'd be like, Yo,
something's not adding up here. Someone needs to move help.

Speaker 3 (56:17):
That's right, Yeah, me too. Our family lives in a
small two and a half story house with a basement.
It's a small house, two bedrooms, two bathrooms. My parents
take up a bedroom each. My father has a lot
of medical equipment and my mother prefers to have her
own space. My brother has been in the basement and
I have got a bed tucked away upstairs. It's a

(56:37):
tight fit for four adults. Enter the girlfriend. It's twenty twenty,
pre pandemic. My brother is seeing people again. Years after
his breakup with his first girlfriend from high school. He
had been bringing home girls late at night, and his
current girlfriend was one of them.

Speaker 1 (56:54):
Ooh, and your parents let you get away with that.
That's crazy, I guess.

Speaker 3 (56:58):
So at the beginning I was pretty neutral about her.
My brother would come home late and she'd tag along
and spend the night, no introduction, just walked in and
went straight to the basement with my brother. Cool a
situationship whatever. Right then the pandemic started. We didn't see
her for a while, but then she caught COVID. This

(57:20):
is about when I stopped feeling neutral about her. Instead
of isolating at home, she came to our house.

Speaker 1 (57:26):
You can come when you don't have COVID, but when
you have it you can't.

Speaker 3 (57:30):
Obviously, with elderly parents, this was not okay. My brother
was forced to get her hotel room while she recovered
from COVID. After recovering, she started coming over for days
at a time. I would start seeing her eat meals
in our dining table, meal prepping in our kitchen, her
leftovers would be in our fridge, her laundry hanging in

(57:51):
our basement. All of this would be fine if she
was a contributing member of the household, except she isn't.
When she's in the kitchen or dining room, she's in
there by herself because no one wants to spend time
with her like that. I don't know about you, guys,
but the kitchen and dining room i e. Cooking and
sharing food are very intimate family thanks. And it's not

(58:14):
just taking up space. She also leaves stuff everywhere, dirty
dishes in the sink in the basement, hair collecting on
the shower wall, her makeup caking the shower curtain slowly
over time. How does that happen? How much makeup you
gotta be wearing for it to be on the shower curtain.
The wet floor after she's showered, so wet that the

(58:34):
floor towel is always soaked through. Her cheap clothes thrown
about in our entryway. I tried talking to my parents
about what the heck is happening? Why is this person
staying in our house? Why aren't we saying anything? Why
are we finding ourselves cleaning up after her? These are
all very good questions. Ope, nothing was gained from this conversation,

(58:56):
but I did confirm that neither my brother nor her
have bothered to discuss with them about staying in our home.
Fast forward to twenty twenty four today, I've felt no
peace in my home since she started squatting in it.
I genuinely hate this person. I hate that I spend
my weekend sleeping in only to wake up to the

(59:18):
smell of her food cooking in the kitchen. I literally
just waited two hours for her to finish cooking lunch
so I could get access to the kitchen appliances. I
forgot to mention that she only cooks for herself and my.

Speaker 1 (59:30):
Brother takes care of her and her own.

Speaker 3 (59:33):
While using others' stuff. Since she's come here, she's continued
to overstep her stay by inviting friends over late at
night to pregame. She's also straight up baby sut few
kids in our house. You can't imagine the surprise of
my parents when they see these random kids. They don't
have the heart to turn the kids away at this point,

(59:54):
they've already been dropped off. Mind you, She's not much
of a babysitter either. She just props the ca in
front of a tablet and tells them to be quiet
when they're making a fuss. I've tried the empathy route.
Her parents weren't together. She's the middle child or in
the younger half of several siblings, all girls. I don't
even think her mom was in the picture much either,

(01:00:15):
mostly raised by her grandmother. From what I understand, most
of her siblings still live with the grandmother. She's too
scared to take public transit or to try and get
her driver's license. Currently, she's a part time server at
a bar slash restaurant, not making much.

Speaker 1 (01:00:32):
Oh, well, she just tried babysitting more, I guess so.

Speaker 3 (01:00:36):
After two years of sharing home with her mainly bathroom
and kitchen, it's clear that no one raised her right
and she experienced a lot of neglect at best. She's
so traumatized by her upbringing. She's just an empty shell
of a person that needs love and care. My family
is not a recovery home, especially when all this girl
does is take up space and rot in the basement.

(01:00:58):
Sometimes she comes to family parties and she'll be smiley
and make nice, but that's not the real herb. She
lies constantly about small things, and when she gets caught
or when she's wrong, she becomes silent and has nothing
to say. She's toxic to my brother when they think
they're in private, calling him names to make him feel

(01:01:19):
or even hitting him. The only time I've heard excitement
or interest in her voice is when she's gossiping about
someone else, and with that same mouth, she'll get defensive
and offended when people bring up her past. I have
no idea what her past is, so no tea about that.
The thing is, I don't think anyone cares for his person.
No one cares enough for this girl to say, Hey,

(01:01:41):
what the heck are you doing being a bum in
a stranger's basement. I could say it, but I'm done
with this girl. I'm not the one for her. The
only way I'll respect her is if or when she leaves.
My parents have just accepted that she's part of the
house now. I don't understand why, after two two years,
my brother's girlfriend hasn't even tried to get close to

(01:02:04):
our parents. She comes and leaves the house as she pleases,
even coming home late into the night without a word
to them. She pays zero respect. Often my parents' meal
times are delayed because of her. As long as the
girlfriend is in the kitchen, they can't make their food
because she occupies the entire space. She always cooks so much,

(01:02:26):
but never shares or eats with them. A completely thoughtless person.
It's maddening that they tolerate her. I said all this
to rant about my experience, but from her point of view,
I'm sure it's a great time. Despite the awkward living situation,
she has plenty of reason to stay. My brother pays
for everything for her, including several vacations throughout the year.

(01:02:47):
I think he's been trying to find her a proper job,
but she's not qualified or motivated enough. On the bright side,
I will be moving in with my boyfriend of two
years in the new year. This stress will be behind me,
but I hate the thought of leaving knowing that she's there. Okay,
I'm done ranting. If you made it all the way

(01:03:07):
down here, thank you, Please tell me read it. Am
I wrong for hating this person? And then there's a
small update after that.

Speaker 1 (01:03:14):
No, I don't think you're wrong for disliking them or
not respecting them. Think you were in the wrong for
not confronting her. Well, the boyfriend should have confronted her,
the parents should have said something, and I know you
got it easy out, but go out with a bang. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:03:27):
I mean, if you're not gonna be living there, then
like it doesn't have to be awkward for anyone. It
would only be awkward if you're living there still with
her and saying these bad things. But like if you
leave then and no one else seems to have a
problem with it, then there's no other awkwardness in that situation.

Speaker 1 (01:03:43):
Like what if your brother's girlfriend just like moved in
and was just doing all this.

Speaker 3 (01:03:47):
That would be weird. It's also like it's not even
just the moving it. It's like it's just all of
the lying and then using the space, offering someone else's
space to other people, like using it for babysitting and
for friends to pregame so they're drinking at their house,
like just all that stuff. Just that's just a lot.

Speaker 1 (01:04:05):
It was like animals showed up at your house and
you did nothing to get rid of It's like, oh, okay, cool.

Speaker 3 (01:04:09):
It's like, all right, that's just that lives there now,
it's a part of the house now. Never killing a
spider and then just like having them breed and just
your house just filled with spiders and cobwebs, because that's
just there. There is still a little update, so let's
get into it. Thank you to those that left their
two cents. I appreciate the different perspective. The living situation
has not changed, but I do have some new things

(01:04:31):
to share about it all. My brother recently admitted to
me that he doesn't even like his girlfriend, so no
one wants her there except for her. That's insane. He
doesn't take the relationship seriously and has no long term
plans to stay with her.

Speaker 1 (01:04:45):
Oh my gosh, break up with her.

Speaker 3 (01:04:47):
He is also confused as to why she is still
with him, and is apparently telling her often to leave
break up, especially when they have disagreements. From when I
gathered he's still so with her partly because he feels
bad for her, and partly because she's convenient. Dang, that
is rough. Yeah, if you're staying with someone just because

(01:05:10):
they're convenient, that's like literally what settling is, so you
probably should look for something a little more fulfilling. By
the way, what is extremely convenient is that we are
alive every single weekday at three pm PSD. All you
have to do is top that profile and so much
more fulfilling than any sort of relationship you could settle for.

(01:05:32):
It turns out that my brother and I are in
agreement about everything I had concluded about her upbringing, laziness,
and having no real friends with one expectation. She is
the oldest sibling, not the middle child. Her mom forty
one female, was fourteen, which.

Speaker 1 (01:05:47):
She had her Oh my gosh, she had to grow
up in such a hard household.

Speaker 3 (01:05:53):
Explains why the grandmother raised her and why the mom
was never really a mom. The mother is currently remarried
to some British guy who gives my brother gross predator vibes.
He worries for the youngest of his girlfriend's siblings, who's
somewhere between sixteen and eighteen years old. Well, that's a
weird note to end on, but that is the end
of that story. Hopefully the siblings are okay. That's a

(01:06:15):
whole another story in itself, but with the story at hand,
the main plot line. If the brother isn't even interested,
it's like, why is she just there?

Speaker 1 (01:06:25):
She's like, Yeah, I don't know why I've been doing
this for the past couple of years. Why are we
doing this, Like.

Speaker 3 (01:06:30):
What, Just let her go? Man, I want Opie to
talk to the parents about it, talk to everyone about it.
Seems like you've got the brother on board. I'm sure
you could get the parents on board and just talk
to the girl or just bring it up. I feel
like you just be like hey, like why are you
living here? Or like are you gonna pay rent?

Speaker 1 (01:06:48):
It's been like four years and the parents haven't said anything.

Speaker 3 (01:06:50):
Yeah, well I think it was two years, but still
so much time.

Speaker 1 (01:06:55):
She started coming over more and more in twenty twenty
after the pandemic, and then she like just kind of
fully moved in. But I think she did say two
and a half a second. But still, oh my gosh.

Speaker 3 (01:07:06):
Honestly, you guys Opie's family grow up bear, because I
don't want you to be a doormat, but you are.

Speaker 1 (01:07:14):
My husband confessed he's in love with my sister, and
she confessed she knew. At least we're all on the
same page. Yesterday we had dinner with my sister and
her husband, and we had a lot to drink. After
my sister and her husband left, my husband and I
had the spicy Sali. Neither of us were tired, so
We continued a bit of wine, listening to music in

(01:07:34):
the background, and everything was amazing. I thought, by the way,
this comes from throwaway anxious bed on the ar size Okay,
storytime Subreddit. My husband was smiling in a good mood.
He's always like that when he's drunk. We talked about
my sister and her husband. He just suddenly said, I'm
so in love with sisters name. I said, what he said,

(01:07:55):
I'm so desperately in love with sister's name. What would
I do to taste her lips? She's brilliant, looked dreamy,
and was still smiling. I said, how drunk are you?
He said, probably plenty. I was drunk too, but it
still hit me like a ton of bricks. I just
sat there silent. He was so in his own world,

(01:08:16):
with a smile etched on his face. He looked like
he was a million miles away. I went to bed
this morning, all memories came rushing and now I'm not drunk,
and it hit me even more what he said. I'm horrified,
and in my heart is in pieces. He hasn't mentioned
anything and is acting normal, as if yet hungover. I
don't know what to do now he has always had

(01:08:38):
a good relationship with my sister with mutual respect. Should
I just ignore his drunken comments? Was that just him
being drunk? Should I wait for him to start talking?
Not sure if he even remembers. What about the spicy
sleep we had? Something was different, even though I loved it.
I thought it was one of the best spicy sleeps
of my life. He said he was different, passionate, tender

(01:08:59):
and loving. When he he kept saying, I love you.
You were brilliant. Ps. My sister has been monest and
Tom Boyce, but she has lost twenty five kilograms and
has been working out for a year. She had a
form fitting red dress yesterday with red lips. She looked
stunning and we all gave her compliments about it. She

(01:09:19):
was very happy about it. I don't know why I
included this. I thought maybe it's relevant because on top
of having spots to sleep, sister looking good, being he
was all up and was like, oh.

Speaker 2 (01:09:32):
Does she think in that he was just like pretending
that he was her sister.

Speaker 3 (01:09:41):
It's terrific. It's terrible.

Speaker 1 (01:09:44):
I would definitely bring this up hardcore and maybe even
look for a separation. I mean, I know, I'm just
throwing this around, but I would probably take a few
a day or two, maybe even a week.

Speaker 2 (01:09:55):
He immediately press him on what he said and if
he goes I don't remember that, to go, well, you
said it, so now we have to talk about it. Yeah,
when people say that kind of stuff when they're it's
not because they don't mean it.

Speaker 1 (01:10:07):
It's because they do mean it. Update.

Speaker 3 (01:10:10):
Hi.

Speaker 1 (01:10:10):
The rules of the update here is three days. That's
why I didn't update Sunday when I talk to my husband,
also because I'm very conflicted. I talked to my husband.
He said he didn't remember a lot that night, especially
after my sister and her husband left and we continued drinking.
I told him what he said, and he didn't look
shocked nor surprise, just that he didn't remember saying anything.

(01:10:34):
I asked him if he failed it before we started.
He said he always loved my sister because she's kind
and warm. Then he said he thought she looked very beautiful,
and it's probably in his self thought she was hot.
He said it is normal that people are curious about
the opposite. He said that he has always thought she's
beautiful because all of my family is good looking. But

(01:10:56):
her weight loss gave her confidence and she looked happy,
and he was happy for her. I asked him if
he could choose between us. He said he was shocked,
and said that I was his wife and that the
mother of his children, and he loved me. So I
asked him if he had just met us, I wasn't
his wife or anything, and my sister wasn't married. He
said that this was getting ridiculous, and he hated playing

(01:11:19):
the hypothetical games because people get worked up fight about
things that aren't real. Yeah, I mean, that's that's fair.

Speaker 2 (01:11:25):
I actually I agree with him in that, because it's
not fair to be like, okay, well, in this hypothetical context,
it's not real. Would you date my sister instead of me?
It's like, how can I possibly give you an answer
to that? You want to keep him rooted in reality,
which is like this is what you said, How do
you really feel? I need to know right now if
like there's a universe where you're gonna leave me, because
like what, you love my sister, like you're infatuated with her,

(01:11:46):
and it's like, I don't know what to think.

Speaker 1 (01:11:48):
I think we still have plenty more left, but we
got a little bit more. It sounds like he was
just real real After dinner he said that he loved
me very much and he's happy, and I should overthink
what he said when he was too drunk to even
know who or where he was. I'm just not sure
we got one more updates. Do we press him more?

(01:12:10):
Should we believe him?

Speaker 2 (01:12:11):
I think I personally where I'm at is I believe
him based on how he responded, where it's like, you're
my wife, like you're my wife, and it's like, I
don't you know, we don't have the entire picture of
who they are as people on their dynamic, but it's
like they were heavily like to the point of who
like This guy says he doesn't remember a lot of

(01:12:32):
the night before. Yeah, it still is concerned. It's definitely
concerning that he said it. But I think his response
the day after is in line with how a person
will respond who actually doesn't like would never be like
I actually want to lead, like when there's nothing, there's
no light behind the eyes anymore, who knows what's being said? Yeah,
he probably does think that the sister is hot. I

(01:12:55):
don't think he would ever leave ope for her sister.

Speaker 1 (01:12:59):
Update two again, I have been delaying my update because honestly,
I am still fatigued. It has been rough. My husband
and I have been to therapy, and I don't know
if I like therapy or if we are making any progress.
Sometimes I feel like we are not making any progress
fast enough, and sometimes I just want to give up

(01:13:19):
and disappear. I have found out that my sister knew
all along about my husband's feelings for her all these years,
and she has never even bothered to alert me. She's
known for years. I went on thinking I was happily
married to a man whose heart I thought was mine.
I yelled and raged at her and cried, and she
cried too, and apologized and said that she didn't want

(01:13:40):
to hurt me and didn't know what to do. I
feel a lot of anger and resentment towards her, and
I have been playing my years with my husband, trying
to remember and every interaction with my sister and if
I missed anything by being blindly, am I just so confused?
I can't remember anything and that is remote. You're alarming.

(01:14:00):
And yet my sister never tried to avoid my husband.
She gladly spent weekends, holidays, and vacation with my husband
and me, wouldn't she at least have tried to distance herself.
According to her, it was me. She wanted to have
a relationship with me, and my children are the most
important people to her. She didn't want to be apart
from me. She told my husband that he promised never

(01:14:23):
to make her uncomfortable, but she knew that he had
feelings for her. She refused to answer if he still did, however,
which is a answer itself. She panicked and said no,
and please believe me, and you can believe that we
will go live every day at three PMPSD on YouTube.
Just tapped or a profile. We have a little bit more.

(01:14:45):
The sister also betrayed her. I had told her that
I needed some distance. She apologized and started crying. I
haven't spoken to her maybe three weeks. I heard that
her husband is upset and has left the house because
he didn't know either. I don't know what, but more
to update. I have tried to keep it simple. I
feel like I need advice now more than ever. And honestly,

(01:15:06):
therapy is living me empty. After every session, it feels
I don't know how to describe it, methodical and a
matter of factual, only practical and logical aspects that need
to be soft. Am I right being angry at my sister?
Am I too optimistic? This could still work with me
and my husband? Can he love me just me? I
don't know how to move on. I don't want to forget.

(01:15:28):
I want to forgive. I think you have the right
mindset here. You have the right to be mad at
your sister. You have the right to try to work
this out with your husband. I think a new therapist
would work one hundred percent. And I think everyone just
needs some time to process this and to come to
the actual facts that who they actually love. And people
can have a wandering eye sometimes and make like scenarios
in their head. I'm gonna check for an update. My

(01:15:50):
sister can't have children. I don't know what to do,
to be honest, Sometimes I wake up in the morning
thinking nothing is a big deal. I have a good
life and my children are well loved. Sometimes I want
to scream, and I hate everyone, and I want to
kick him out and never see him again. I have
spoken to brother in law now. He seems to be
serious about divorcing my sister. He said that something broke

(01:16:12):
inside of him, his pride maybe she's catching strays, dude,
it's not She's not the one in love with this guy. Yeah, yeah, true, true.
I think I wish that guy do about that. I
think that guy's in the wrong.

Speaker 2 (01:16:24):
I mean what I think our last story, like op
said that they were insecure, needed to go to therapy.

Speaker 1 (01:16:29):
Freaking the sister's husband definitely.

Speaker 2 (01:16:31):
Needs to go to therapy for his insecurities, because just
finding out another guy is in love with your wife
is going to make you divorce her.

Speaker 1 (01:16:38):
What's wrong with you? Yeah, that's that's insanity, dude, this
is crazy. I can't wait for the next update. But yeah,
we definitely need to keep an eye out for that.
Definitely go to another therapist, find a good couple's counselor,
and try your best to work through it in the
most honest way possible. But that's gonna be scary, it's
gonna be hard. The end of that one,

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My sister didn’t HONOR our agreement… so I decided to no longer be involved with her! | Reddit Stories

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}My sister didn’t HONOR our agreement… so I decided to no longer be involved with her! | Reddit Stories