Tiffany Haddish: 4 Ways to Navigate Complicated Family Relationships & How to Have Hard Conversations You are Avoiding

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Kind of would like to start a service where like
retired basketball players can hold you like a baby. I
asked that, I said, would you hold me like a baby?
And like the embarned me. He was like, girl, you crazy,
so damn silly.

Speaker 2 (00:12):
Got you get a special guest in the building. Emmy
Award winning actors and comedian became the first black female comic.
The host essaw please welcome Tiffany Haddish.

Speaker 1 (00:21):
I was like, where are you? We cannot see you.
I need to see you. I missed you.

Speaker 2 (00:30):
Hey, everyone, I've got some huge news to share with you.
In the last ninety days, seventy nine point four percent
of our audience came from viewers and listeners that are
not subscribed to this channel. There's research that shows that
if you want to create a habit, make it easy
to access. By hitting the subscribe button, you're creating a

(00:51):
habit of learning how to be happier, healthier, and more healed.
This would also mean the absolute world to me and
help us make better, bigger, brighter content for you in
the world. Subscribe right now the number one health and
wellness podcast.

Speaker 1 (01:07):
Jay Sheety Jay Sheny.

Speaker 2 (01:13):
Hey, everyone, welcome back to On Purpose. Thank you so
much for tuning in to become a happier, healthier and
more healed, which is the focus of this show. Now.
Today's guest is someone that I've wanted to have on
for a long long time, and I'm so excited that
she's finally in the studio. She's already brought so much joy, laughter,
and enjoyment into this room just by her mere presence.

(01:35):
Today's guest is none other than Tiffany Haddish and Emmy
Grammy NAACP Image Award winner who's established herself as one
of the most sought after comedic actresses and performers worldwide.
Tiffany's a New York Times best selling author for her
book The Last Black Unicorn, and a children's book author

(01:56):
of Layla, The Last Black Unicorn. This book is coold.
I curse you with joy. I want you to go
and grab this book right now. It releases May seventh,
and this is the book we're diving into today. Tiffany
pours a heart out, she shares her story, she shares
the incredible journey that she's been on, and she makes
it funny and deeply fulfilling. I can't wait for you

(02:19):
to read this book, Go and grab it right now.
Welcome to the show, Tiffany. Hot is Tiffany, Thank you?

Speaker 1 (02:24):
And the cover is prithy.

Speaker 2 (02:26):
The cover is beautiful.

Speaker 1 (02:27):
It's beautiful. You can almost see all my ribs because
I was sucking the man and that's where I wanted
you to be able to see my heart. I was like,
can y'all just show it like three more ribs right
there and then maybe you have my heart beat out?
And it was like, we're not, that's unhealthy.

Speaker 2 (02:41):
How long did it take to get that shot?

Speaker 1 (02:43):
Didn't take long at all. Took like all of maybe
five minutes.

Speaker 2 (02:46):
Wow, that's imp I.

Speaker 1 (02:47):
Asked them if they could show my ribs more, yeah,
just because I want to show. No, they didn't know.
They did not, but I did sucking my breath and
like flex flex, I learned how fleck fleck show chest
muscles because I don't have much breast, which reflects the chess.

Speaker 2 (03:04):
Got it.

Speaker 1 (03:05):
It's a lot of pattern right there.

Speaker 2 (03:06):
I love it. I love it. It's brilliant. Tiffany. What
is the best part about being Tiffany at.

Speaker 1 (03:11):
Ith The best part about being Tiffany it what's the
best part about being me? Girl? I don't know. I
have so much fun. I have a lot of fun.
I can tell I carry a lot. But I'm built
for it and I have a lot of fun doing it.
Sometimes I complain about it, sometimes I whine, but I'm
built for it and I enjoy it.

Speaker 2 (03:30):
When did you realize you were built for it?

Speaker 1 (03:32):
Probably when I was like twenty one, twenty two, because yeah,
twenty two, I say, because at twenty one I was like,
I don't want to be here on this planet no more.
This sucks, like it feels like everybody's taking a pain
out on me. Like, but what I realized is like, oh,
I love to hear people laughing. Maybe they're bringing me
their pain and taking that because I'm supposed to transmute

(03:54):
that into laughter. I'm supposed to take that and flip
it for them. And once I learn how to do
that and perfect it, then the easier to be for me.
And it is easier in relationships for me now. But
when it comes to other things, it's a lot more difficult.
Like cleaning my room. I am a hoarder. I think

(04:16):
I'm an emotional hoarder, and it shows up and manifests
in my bedroom.

Speaker 2 (04:19):
What kind of things do you hoard.

Speaker 1 (04:20):
Clothes kind of knickknacks? Gadgets? I love gadgets. I don't
know why I bring the gadget to the bed, like
it's gonna do something magical in the bed. And it's
not even for the bed. It's probably for the kitchen.
But I'm like, let me see how this gadget work.
And I like experience. I'm big on experimenting, and I
do a lot of it in my bedroom because that's
my layer and I don't let people in my room,
so like I got a microscope in there. It's like

(04:43):
half laboratory, half office, half closet half with this all this.

Speaker 2 (04:47):
If I walk into the I'm not allowed. But if
I was to walk into your bedroom, would I fall
over and trip over and help myself.

Speaker 1 (04:53):
Over a basket of clothes? And then You'll be like
what is that in the corner? You are you building something?
Like it's what kind of electronics is that? And then
like why is there clothes all over here? And then
what's that on the bed? And are you making jewelry?
Are you sorting a jewelry? Like what is going on?

Speaker 2 (05:07):
Wow?

Speaker 1 (05:08):
Yeah, it's a lot going on.

Speaker 2 (05:09):
I'm not gonna show you no picture.

Speaker 1 (05:12):
It's embarrassing. It's when I look at it, I'm like,
geez tipping. Your brain is everywhere. That's what it feels
like because I imagine that, like your bedroom is a
reflection of your mind, because it's where I do spend
most of my time in house, and like all the
rest of the house is pretty clean. It might be
some little boxes in the corner here by, like mail

(05:32):
on the table, but I go through that, sort that
out real quick. But the my room, I don't know.
It's like I get to that when I feel like
I'm gonna play with this right now. Let me see
how these sea monkeys are doing in the corner over here.
Let me see what doing like. I mean, no, it's
some sea monkeys. Are those pets? I don't think those

(05:52):
are pets. Now, that's that's an experiment. There's a there's
a shrimp. But I mean my cat might come in occasionally,
and if I get really like lonely or whatever, I'll
bring the dog in, you know. And then the dog
is like burrowing herself in my dirty clothes and I
get her out of here because she likes to chew
a crotch on my underwear. As my dirty underwears. I

(06:13):
don't like it.

Speaker 2 (06:14):
And you like that chaos like you you like waking
up to that sleeping and that that kind of cozy.

Speaker 1 (06:21):
I don't have a man. I don't have nobody else's
mind the sort but my own. So when men do
spend the night, I only let them sleep in the
guest room.

Speaker 2 (06:30):
Got it.

Speaker 1 (06:31):
So because they're guests in my house, so you pay bills,
you can't come up in the main room. And when
they start paying my bills, then I guess that's when
I'll clean up my room and make space for them.

Speaker 2 (06:41):
I'm a classic virgo, so everything for me has to
be or organize like tidy. Everything has to be in
its place, like I think. I can I walk into
a room and I can spot the one thing that's
like half a cent of meter off and I need
to And.

Speaker 1 (06:54):
That would be the kind of guy I would like
to date so that he can like clean up after
me and stuff and bring them to and have adventure
for him. I have some adventures for you, not too
much drama. I'm not big on the drama, but I
am big on adventure experiences. And then I'm but I'm messy.

Speaker 2 (07:10):
Yeah, that's cool. You don't have to be messy.

Speaker 1 (07:13):
But I'm not dirty. But it's like I get it.

Speaker 2 (07:15):
I get yeah, And I mean I saw that you
said you've been celibate for the past six months? Is that?
Is that true?

Speaker 1 (07:23):
I guess? Okay, okay, so.

Speaker 2 (07:24):
Is that true?

Speaker 1 (07:25):
I mean, does kissing count? No, I'm just not yeah, okay,
I'm not being penetrated, that's for sure. No penetration.

Speaker 2 (07:32):
Is that an intentional choice? Was that something you were
trying to work up to and practice or.

Speaker 1 (07:37):
Is it been six months? Though?

Speaker 2 (07:39):
I guess so the person who can tell.

Speaker 1 (07:41):
Us October does make it six months? Yeah, yeah, yeah,
because I don't just I just don't want to lay
down with nobody, just anybody, you know. I just feel like, dang,
I am the prize and these dudes got to qualify,
like it. And when I think about like my track
record of like who I lay down with, it takes
like a year or so for me to even warm up.
It's a line. It's a line of dudes. It's you know, hey, hey,

(08:05):
I mean I love going to free dinners. I'll go
on free dinner dates, you know, I mean not free
dinner dates, but like, yeah, it's free for me, so yeah,
but it do cost me money to get you know,
cute and stuff and the gas in the car or whatever.

Speaker 2 (08:15):
But yeah, yeah, you know, I asked obviously when I
lived as a monk, I'll celebrate for three years. So
it was like it was a big, big, big commitment in.

Speaker 1 (08:22):
Mindy, it didn't make you feel like, ah.

Speaker 2 (08:25):
In the beginning, yes, really sure, for sure it was hard,
but then I said it was yeah, it's time.

Speaker 1 (08:35):
Earlier, earlier, it feels easy. I don't know, I've been
working out a lot, so I feel like I get
my sexual like frustrations out in the workout. And then,
like I said, gadgets.

Speaker 2 (08:44):
Did it take your while to raise your standards? Like?
Where did this qualification, this language, this vocabulary you have
right now around dating? Was that something that has come
with time? Is that something that was always there that night?

Speaker 1 (08:56):
It was definitely not always there. Definitely if you read
the book, you know that it was always there. I
just feel like it's like, it's certain things that I
want for myself and I want to share the success.
And what I've learned is when you're like laying down
with people, that's not really as ambitious as you are,
or comfortable in their skin, or confident with who they are,

(09:19):
or even just not even necessarily confident, just know who
they are, it becomes a problem. And I think when
you lay down with somebody, you are sharing your soul,
you are sharing a piece of yourself. You're giving a
little piece of yourself up. And I don't I think like,
I only got so much soul left, and I don't
want to necessarily just give it over to anybody, you know,
I don't think. I don't know if the soul grows.

(09:39):
I don't know if you can rejuvenate new soul like
you do skin or hear, but it just feels like
I don't want to subject myself to it. Also, now,
once I let you inside my body, I gotta know
you got to get then gotta learn you and all
this stuff like and and so scientifically, okay, now we're
gonna get into the science stuff some yeah, yeah, So

(10:01):
I had did my scientific research. I was reading about
how you know, once you let somebody ejaculate his sperm,
right once, the uterus is very absorbent, so you absorb
all of that into your bloodstream. Right, so now you
like attracted to them, so like when the Bible says
you will only desire your husband. This is part why

(10:21):
because now he's like in your blood, like in like
binding with your DNA. And if you get pregnant by
this person, it takes like six months or so for
them to get out of your DNA. And if you
decide to have a baby or get pregnant by this person,
those stem cells from that baby is in you forever,
so they are forever a part of you. Do I
forever want to be a part of somebody who's like

(10:42):
mentally ill. Do I forever want this person to be
like in my eyeballs, in my brain, in my look,
in my heart the stem cells from them and what
we like you know, could have potentially made Do I
forever want that? And then I think about like like
hose and why they be so crazy, And it's because
it's too many personality, too much, that's I see. Anyway,

(11:04):
that's my scientist.

Speaker 2 (11:05):
That's when ise ed monster class coming.

Speaker 1 (11:08):
Well, there's a smart there's a short sex ed portion
in the book. You know, I think I would have
been a great sex education teacher.

Speaker 2 (11:15):
That's what I'm thinking listening to you right now.

Speaker 1 (11:17):
Yeah, I think I would have been really good at that.

Speaker 2 (11:18):
I think we need to get a national program.

Speaker 1 (11:20):
Yeah, because I noticed, like females that I know that
like are really emotional, like going like always the world
is like in an uproar. And then if you find
out like how many body, what's they body count? And
like and especially if it's a higher body count, it's
a lot of them probably didn't have no kind of
one And then you probably you probably absorbed a lot
of that stuff. And who's to say they didn't. They

(11:41):
might have been pregnant, didn't realize they were pregnant. It's
just thought, all, this is a hard period, but really
they might have been having a miscarriage or it's just
a pregnancy that didn't stick. Whatever, Like it's a it's
a lot, it's a lot.

Speaker 2 (11:52):
It sounds like this has obviously been something that I know,
we're laughing, but at the same time we're learning, Like
this has been something you've been learning about, thinking about
reflecting on. Especially when you dive into your book, as
we were talking about earlier, you make everything sound really
funny and there's this expression of the feeling, but then
there's the deep pain and the stress that comes from it.
Were there particular romantic experiences that were hard for you

(12:15):
to get over. Was a lot of our audience is
struggling with breakups, is struggling with missing their access, struggling
with trying to move on and find the right person.
What have you been through that you could share with
those people that may.

Speaker 1 (12:29):
Yeah, okay, so I be real clear with you. I
the people that I was missing, I probably shouldn't have
been missing, right, Like the ones that like inflicted a
lot of physical pain on me, the ones that afflicted
emotional pain on me. I think I talked about one
of them in this book. I talked about the excellent
other book, but this book, Like, okay, so I had this, like,

(12:50):
you know, Homie lovel friend for a long time, a long, long,
long long time. He's very disrespectful to me, very kind
of messed up to me. But in my mind we
was we could get married. We had the most beautiful babies.
He handsome, I'm pretty like it would be so cool.
He's smart and intellectual. I'm kind of smart. I think
like it would be fun. We have the best conversations,

(13:13):
like we have fun. But then he would treat me
like crap, right, so like and I would I would
subject myself to that man and I would be like
happy to be in his presence, but at the same time,
when he's not, I'll be hurting so bad, hurting so
bad like and feeding for him like a like kind
of like I don't know what it's like to do
like hard drugs, but I'm imagining that's the hard drug

(13:36):
right there, the d that D like when we really
like like that could be the hard drug and breaking
myself from that and that would be like, Okay, what
else do you love? What else do you care about?
Put your energy into something else? I see now like
all online like oh, Tiffany's feeding for She's still pining
over this guy that she was dating, Like that was fun.

(13:57):
That relationship was fun. Only thing I'm miss about the
relationship is the fun. Everything else was like, eh, cool,
But we had a lot of fun And people I
have fun with. I miss all of them when I
don't get to see them often when I don't talk
to them, I miss all of them, even if they
were about influence. I miss them all. But I'm not like,
oh God, I gotta have the more talking mess about them,

(14:19):
Like no, I genuinely love that person, wish them the best.
I'm busy doing this now, they're busy doing that.

Speaker 2 (14:25):
Now.

Speaker 1 (14:25):
Cool. But was there a particular like, yeah, that want
that homey loove of friend who was like on and
off for like almost twenty years.

Speaker 2 (14:33):
Oh wow, twenty years.

Speaker 1 (14:35):
I can be loyal. I can be loyal with the
homilove of friends. You know. It's like, oh, we're not
we all, but we're not in a relationship. But in
my mind I painted this, Yeah, we was married. I
was cooking for him and doing all kind of stuff like, no,
make sure his telephone stayed on so I could talk
to him. Stupid stuff, stupid, just dumb, just dumb. Then

(14:58):
like oh, I realized, okay, this is gonna go nowhere.
So I'm gonna go with this guy that likes me,
and then that don't like pan out because really I'm
still feeling over this too. Then okay that didn't work out. No, no, no,
I'm gonna get married. Somebody wanna marry me. I'm getting married.
You don't want to marry me, like you's don't marry me.
And then that didn't really head because I didn't want
to get small, like yeah, I didn't want to be small.

Speaker 2 (15:22):
And then.

Speaker 1 (15:24):
Then it was just like free for all. You know
what you're working with. What's up? Baby? You got as
long as you got a good credit score? What's your
credit score? Because that means you're gonna be responsible with
my heart at least I think you are. I hope
you are. And then but now I got a whole criteria.

Speaker 2 (15:41):
What did you find that people that are good good
credit score? Did that have any correlation.

Speaker 1 (15:45):
With I feel like it had a lot to do
with how they treat me. Good credit score, they're like
more responsible they show up on sho I noticed that. Yeah,
I saw that, like I would ask like, hey, do
you know your credit score? First of all, I think
that's something you should know because that's your grown up
poor card. I just want to see how responsible they were,
And most of them were very like I have yet

(16:06):
to meet somebody with a pretty high credit score that
wasn't like reliable.

Speaker 2 (16:10):
You didn't find that you met people who were arrogant or.

Speaker 1 (16:13):
Might be arrogant. They might have been like show, but
but they were responsible. I want somebody be responsible with
my heart, like it's I got a big heart, right,
I got a lot of love to give, and I'm
very forgiving and all that, but like, don't abuse it.
It's been abused enough, and I don't want to have
to like attack you. I don't want to have to

(16:34):
like be vicious with you. That's all. Like I would say,
the last like five relationships I've had, like I really
respect those dudes because they were they were kind with
my heart. You know, they for the best for what
they could. You know, they were good with my heart.
They didn't like get up where I'm just like f men,
bring on the pussies. I'm gay now. I think I'm

(16:57):
still like two or three heartbreaks away from that. Don't
even think that's the thing though for me. I really
think I'm a gay man. But that's that's neither here
nor there.

Speaker 2 (17:04):
And what are you criteria? Now? You said, that's a
lot of information to man.

Speaker 1 (17:10):
I think I was a man in my past, like
you believe in past lives.

Speaker 2 (17:13):
Yeah, we were talking. I think we were messaging about this. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (17:16):
Yeah, I think I was a man in my past life,
and I think I was a man that was kind
of messed up. I think I was like maybe I
had a really big penis, and I was a womanizer,
and maybe I was bisexual. Maybe I hurt a lot
of hearts and I felt like in this life, guy said, Okay,
I'm gonna you know, you're gonna suffer something, but you're
gonna win too. And I think that's why I got indometriosis.

(17:36):
I can really understand the pain of a woman, and
I understand the value of the heart.

Speaker 2 (17:42):
My wife jokes with me that she thinks we were
married in our past life, but she was the guy
and I was the guns. Like the trade off because
I'm the romantic one. I'm the one writing her notes
and messages and I want to do all the grand
gestures and stuff. I'm the one interior designing our home
and doing all of that stuff.

Speaker 1 (17:58):
And she doesn't know. Now, She's like, let's get money
and go on the trip. Let's that's fun. Let's go
do an adventure.

Speaker 2 (18:04):
Yeah, I like an adventure. But you were saying, you
have criteria. Now what are the What are the criteria
today different to.

Speaker 1 (18:11):
The Okay, So now that I'm older, I can't have
that criteria like, oh, he can't have no kids because
we're older now. So I expect, like, if he has kids, cool,
but they need to be like grown eighteen or over. Uh,
because I don't want to deal like with baby mama drama,
and I feel like, you know, I'm gonna I like
communicating like an adult. Also, it needs to have his

(18:34):
own career or some sort of business. You know what
I'm saying. He needs to have like an EI in number.
I think that's really important. He knows how to need
to know how to run something, because you know men,
I think men like to have control and power over
women and run and run women and want to be
the leader. What can you how's your business? Does your
business run well or do you have do you have

(18:54):
long term employees? Do you like? Is that doing well?

Speaker 2 (18:57):
Like?

Speaker 1 (18:57):
Because because now I'm if I'm gonna give you access
to me, I need to know that you know how
to do that good credit score. Now I will forgive
if maybe your credit score fell off for a minute
because you had to go to the doctor, something happens,
you know whatever. Okay, I might could forgive that, But
then also I want you to be physically healthy and fit,
So maybe you better be on top of your health
because I'm trying my best with mine and I don't

(19:20):
want to be changing nobody's diapers. That's grown if you
have puper cares. I don't think I should be changing
your diaper.

Speaker 2 (19:26):
Yeah, I find I find that to be the biggest one.
Like I find so many people don't grow up to
so much later in life. And I find so many
of my friends, either with guys or girls or whoever
may be, that feel young like they feel like they
are the person's parent. Yeah, they're their partner's parent. And
then I don't want that they're cooking for them, cleaning

(19:47):
for them, taking care of all of this stuff. It's
it's it's bizarre to me that we're still living in
that time.

Speaker 1 (19:52):
Yeah, I don't want to feel like I'm your parent.
I don't want to feel like I'm your doctor. But
if you got like a colde or something, or you
feeling like you got a little back pain, I love
a rep back and and I come up with it
lixies and stuff to make you feel better or whatever. Yeah,
but you need to come already showing up pretty healthy.
Like think of this like the military. Oh, these are lixis.
You know, we got ginger, we got to them a rigg.

(20:13):
You know, we got the little vitamins and nutrients you know,
ola vera things for my garden. I grow this stuff. Yeah,
I grow food like and also I needed God. It's
not afraid to get a little dirty, you know, help
me in the garden, Like, don't be afraid of bees
and stuff, because I got bees and harvest.

Speaker 2 (20:32):
Do you have the food?

Speaker 1 (20:33):
Yeah, I got the whole suit, but I don't barely.
I barely. I don't know why you call it has
my city is what's the beekeeper suit? The bee keepers
keep you from being stun But I also so most
of the time I sit out there with no suit on.
I just sit and talk to them, listen to them,
like sing to the bees. One time, I don't know,
I'll be sitting there counting like, oh, I got a

(20:54):
hundred bees, Like they don't. They don't sit on me
like that. They they be around me. I'll be singing,
telling them stories, telling jokes, maybe complaining. I'm pretty sure
my neighbors hear me. So maybe the neighbors feel like
I'm like crazy talking to myself or talking on the
phone or whatever. I know, I sing songs to them
all the time. My favorite song is that I know

(21:15):
the bees are probably like why she's singing this song
to us? But I like, but if like, come in here,
you sad upon my head, I will not harm you.
I never need alarm you. I want to see your
pretty weens, tiny, dainty, colorful things, orange and yellow, pretty fellow,

(21:36):
And I changed the colors every time. Whoa, I sing that,
and then I sing skinning Marinky dinky to the songs
that make me happy.

Speaker 2 (21:42):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (21:42):
I sing to them mostly when I'm stressed out, I
go sit out with the bees.

Speaker 2 (21:46):
So you when you're stressed out, you sing sing to
the bees.

Speaker 1 (21:49):
Yeah, outdoors, yeah, set outdoors, lay in the grass next
to them. Sometimes I just listen to them and imagine
they telling me stories, and I'm just really listening to
the hive buzz and it's they say that there's a
the C tone or there's a tone in a bee
hot that helps get rid of PTSD.

Speaker 2 (22:05):
I didn't know that.

Speaker 1 (22:06):
Wow, Yeah, that's that's what they say. When I was
doing my research on bees, that was something like that,
the noise of a hive helps with PTSD. So I
like that noise.

Speaker 2 (22:18):
Wow, that's fascinating. And that you learned while you were
getting the bees were afterwards.

Speaker 1 (22:22):
And once I got the bees, Yeah, once I got
the bees, I learned that, you know. I was like, oh,
I'm in a relationship now with thousands. Let's let's figure
this out. There's a queen bee, I'm the I'm the
master queen. Now I'm the friend of the bees. I
feed them. I give them like you know, spiralina with

(22:43):
some sugar water or some like chlorophyll with sugar water and.

Speaker 2 (22:47):
Stuff like you really to nature, like nature seems to be.

Speaker 1 (22:50):
I love nature. That's where I can like, you can
go sit in a tree, like in the trees, but
I do be in the tree. Sometimes you can go
sit near the trees, in the trees and you could cry,
and the trees are not gonna be like what's wrong
with you? You know, if anything that like blow the
leaves and like rub your shoulder or something.

Speaker 2 (23:07):
You know.

Speaker 1 (23:07):
Yeah, wow, in my mind, that's what I imagine. Yeah,
I have a very vivid imagination.

Speaker 2 (23:14):
And has that always been like that since you were young?

Speaker 1 (23:16):
Always been like that?

Speaker 2 (23:18):
Do you have an imagine your friend growing up?

Speaker 1 (23:19):
Yes?

Speaker 2 (23:20):
I did.

Speaker 1 (23:20):
I had too.

Speaker 2 (23:21):
What were their names?

Speaker 1 (23:24):
Carbalita and uh Cracker. Cracker was a bird and I
used to be like Cracker went to Polly and I
would break Crackers up on my shoulders, and it was
really the imaginary friends was to make real friends.

Speaker 2 (23:39):
I mean they were a coping mechanism for kids as well.

Speaker 1 (23:41):
For sure, coping mechanism I felt in my mind they
listened to everything I said. I know exactly what they
look like in my mind. I used to really rock
them hard in junior high and uh. We used to
be like cracker, what's that's the number seven? And they'd
be like, Tiffany's being racist. I'm like, no, I'm not.
I'm talking to my bird and Carbelita and Carbelita yeah,

(24:03):
she's like a Puerto Rican mimmy.

Speaker 2 (24:05):
Yeah yeah, and it was her role.

Speaker 1 (24:08):
Her role was like to keep people away from me.

Speaker 2 (24:11):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (24:11):
So I'd be like, oh, you can't sit here, Carbulita
sitting there, you can't sit right there, just her seed,
you know. Carbeleta said that you're cute.

Speaker 2 (24:19):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (24:19):
She want to know if you want to share your
coffee cake with her?

Speaker 2 (24:23):
Yeah. So she was that in between that go between
them and it comes close.

Speaker 1 (24:27):
Yeah, And people would laugh. They'd be like, gro you're
silly as here.

Speaker 2 (24:30):
It's fascinating, isn't it. I feel like the whole idea
of imagine any friends. It's like if you thought about
that when you were young, you'd laugh at it, but
now when you look back, you're like, oh, wait, there
was a role that that person played that I didn't
have someone else playing in my life, so I created someone.

Speaker 1 (24:45):
Yeah, I would be like, my sister would be trying
to play with me, like, you can't play carbon Leita says,
she's doing this one, you can't do that, when Carbeleta
didn't really, I just didn't want my sister to be
doing it, but I didn't want to tell her. I
don't want you to do it, so I said Carba
Leeda didn't want her. Yeah, what it was really me,
I really didn't want her.

Speaker 2 (25:01):
Do So you told us the best things about being
Tiffany Haadish, Tiffany, what are the worst things about being
Tiffany Headish?

Speaker 1 (25:06):
The worst thing about being Tiffany Haddish is Tiviny Hadis
is always under attack and got to just let that happen.
I guess, I guess that's just a part of being famous.
But also I just feel like that's been my whole life.
It's always somebody's been hating, somebody's talking mess somebody. But
at least back in the nineteen hundreds, people did it
to your face or if they talk behind your back.

(25:27):
If somebody told you they was talking behind your back,
then you went up to approach them and say you
say this about me, they would either say yes or no.
Like there would be like you know, accounting, You could
hold someone accountable for what they were saying. Even if
there was a reporter. You know, you could call up
to the newspaper and say, I want to talk to
this reporter, why you say this about me? And then
they'll tell you why they said what they said. Right,

(25:49):
But now it's like everybody say whatever they want and
they think they can't be touched. But that's why I'm
investing in technology. Well, yeah, allow me to be able
to call them. Okay, why you feel like this?

Speaker 2 (26:02):
What did I do to you?

Speaker 1 (26:04):
Did I sleep with your man? And I don't know it?
What's the issue with you? Why are you putting out
such mean words? I mean, I think it's so crazy
right now with social media, because I mean, suicide with
teenagers right now is at all with children all time high,
higher than it's ever been in the history of humans.
Because they can read and they're seeing what people say

(26:27):
like I work with a lot of foster youths and
my kids they be telling me they want they don't
want me to be famous no more because they don't
like what people saying about me, and it makes them cry.
It hurts them so while, and I'm like, don't worry.
It doesn't bother me. I'm used to it. That's normal.
It's normal. If I was if I didn't have people
talking mess about me, then I wouldn't be doing good.
I mean, do you believe in Jesus. If you believe

(26:47):
in Jesus, everybody was talking mess about him too, and
then look, you know, and look what happened. You know.
They're like, I don't want you to be assassinated like Jesus.
I don't want you to die. Like I'm not gonna die, Okay,
I will die, but I'm to die that way. I'm
pretty sure. I hope I die during sex, but I'm
not gonna die in that way, I don't think. But
you know, and I don't know, but like we can't

(27:09):
fester on that and don't just block that person, just
taking those negative words off your thing, like block those words.
But I would love to be able to just call
these people because what I've what I found is the
people that behaving usually they really love me. They really
they study me super hard. They spend hours and hours
making videos and like just saying mean stuff and talking

(27:32):
to But you spend hours of your life studying me.
There's some love there, there's so you gotta really care
about me to a certain sense. I'm honored, but it
sucks because you're not brave enough to say it to
my face that I'll run into a matter party and
they be like, oh, can I get a picture, And
I'm like, why, why do you want a picture with me?

Speaker 2 (27:52):
You?

Speaker 1 (27:53):
You did a horribly mean video about me?

Speaker 2 (27:55):
Oh you saw that?

Speaker 1 (27:57):
You saw? Yeah? I saw you put my name in
the title. You don't think the algorithm is gonna shoot
me things that got my name in it when Google
first came out. Blame all of them when they first
came out. What's the first thing you looked up? I
looked up my name, and so the algorithm knows I
care about me, so it's gonna send me the stuff
about me. So you what's seeing? I see you, and

(28:22):
I'm gonna tell you to your face because I'm not fake.
I'm an actual human and I wish it was the
nineteen hundreds where you could slap somebody for talking shit.
But now you can't even slap nobody no more. They
want to sue you or whatever, like punks.

Speaker 2 (28:38):
So that's that's that's that's the worst part.

Speaker 1 (28:40):
That's all right here because I really want to fight,
but I can't. I can't. No, it's not a battle
worth fighting, right, But on my period, I will use
my my fake little page and I will chime in
a little bit. Oh is it take it back to
the yeah, fence to that's what they call it, right, fake,
a fake instant, but it's not an instant. It's a

(29:02):
it's a Twitter.

Speaker 2 (29:03):
It's a Twitter.

Speaker 1 (29:03):
Okay, sox X yeah, yeah, yeah, Sarah be going in Okay, yeah,
how does that help? It feels good.

Speaker 2 (29:11):
It feels good.

Speaker 1 (29:12):
It's like a little release.

Speaker 2 (29:14):
And this is Sarah kind of like called Thelito who's
like protecting Tiffany.

Speaker 1 (29:18):
Or no, Sarah's my middle name.

Speaker 2 (29:19):
It's me.

Speaker 1 (29:23):
It's me. But I would love to develop like an
AI boyfriend that like protects me and like make him
look really good and stuff, and he have the you know,
Instagram count and just like program him to protect me
and to like shut down people and like, yeah, but
I found out. I hired a forensic tech guy, and
I found out, like seventy five percent of the hate

(29:44):
I get is bots, it's not even real people. And
the other twenty five percent is people responding to the
bots or making making videos because of what they read
from the bots. Oh my god, not even real. A
lot of these articles be AI articles, not even real articles.
No way, Yeah it's my but that's how powerful my
name is. Like that's at least that's what they make

(30:04):
me think, Like my name is so dope, like they
want those clicks, they want that, you know, like I
did this, Like I got all these clicks now, all
these followers because I talked about Tiffany like it's kind
of dope. It's kind of dope. It's kind of dope,
but key like hot words will bring in the bats.

Speaker 2 (30:22):
Yeah. Yeah, wow, I'm learning a lot from you today.

Speaker 1 (30:25):
Yeah yeah, you get hire sex said, it's like, yeah,
I'm multi fasted.

Speaker 2 (30:31):
It's great, it's amazing. I love how curious your mind is.
I've already learned about bees, Like it's fascinating, fascinating. I
want to go backwards, Tiffany because I feel like one
of the things you do in this book is you
really let us into some of the the trauma, the challenges,
the difficult experiences. And as I said to you before,
what I find amazing about the way you communicate is

(30:53):
that we feel what you felt, even if we've not
been there. And I think the way you're writing this
book is really powerful. Like you said earlier, you said,
I think I'm smart. You're smart because the way you
express yourself lands and resonates even if you just read
one or two lines that just grab hold of you.
And at the same time, you're making everyone love through

(31:14):
the book too. But I want to kind of go
backwards because you did have a really you've had you
had many different challenging, traumatic relationships in your life. I
want to start with your mother because she went through
something horrific herself, which when I when I read about
that was I can't even believe what she's had to
go through. And then how it impact on you. I

(31:36):
was gonna ask you, has that relationship ever had an
opportunity to heal or improve? Like is better possible?

Speaker 1 (31:42):
Better and better every day, better and better every day
because I have a better understanding you know I used
to be really mad at her and really like upset
with her, like just take your meds. Just just heal already,
just be back to my mommy, my, like my everything.
You know. I just think about this time when like
I love that woman, I like really really really loved

(32:06):
that woman, like like immensely, Like that's my first love.
This woman fed me, clothed me, taught me. I loved
this woman. And it's like she came back from that
accident somebody else, not not the woman that I love.
But that's her. That's her meat suit, that's her body,

(32:27):
but that's not my mommy. And I get glimpses of her.
And as time has gone by, and you know, I've
I've used my money to like get her the best
of the best and get her healthy and get her
on track, and and get get my sister the education.
My sister's helping me, like we help each other. We
we are working as a team, right, And to see

(32:50):
like the progress is like it's such a it's like okay,
where it's money's a root of all evil. But if
you know how to use it right, it's a tool.
If you know how to use it right, you can
to help like heal and get like glimpses of what was.
And I remember when I was a little girl. I

(33:12):
wanted to like just make her happy. That's all I
want to do, make her happy. And she would work
these graveyard hours at the post office. And I was
like three, and I wanted to make her eggs because
she would come in and make me eggs, right, And
I used to always try to cook for her. Always
I pull all the pots and pans and everything out,
like I'm gonna cook for my mommy, and I'm gonna

(33:32):
play music too, like or like waste all this food.
I'll put oat me a wishes. Shear saw its large season,
saw all this stuff in like she'd be like, no, no,
stop messing around my stuff, and I get a spanking.
There's one particular lady. I was determined to make her
some eggs. So I did everything I saw her do
the day before. So I got I got the eggs

(33:53):
out the refrigerator. I did all the eggs, all the eggs.
I didn't take the shelves off of them, put all
the eggs in this temperware. I started all up. I
put pepper, I put garlic, saw I put Larry season
and saw start them all up, start a mall up,
started all up. And then I turned on the fire
on the stuff and I just put the tough word
container on top of the fire, and I was stunting.

(34:14):
I was like, why is it not doing what it's
supposed to do? And then it's like plastic, it's like
smoking and it's burning. And my mom comes in there
and she had just got off work, right, so she's
in the bathroom. Whatever. My mom comes in, what are
you doing? She gives me a whooping, She turns, you know,
turns off the fire, cleans that, gives me a spanking, says,
you're not supposed to do this. You don't touch the stuff,

(34:34):
you don't this. And I was just like, oh, try
to make you, make you breakfast. And she stopped. And
this is what I loved about my mommy. This is
what she's the best mommy. She was the best, but
I loved about her. She stopped right and she was like,
I'm gonna teach you. If you gonna keep doing this,
I gotta teach you how to do this. So we

(34:55):
cleaned the stove and everything together. She got some wind,
got some more ask I had that all the eggs.
I had that all the eggs. She got more eggs
and stuff. We went to the grocery store. She said,
this how you buy the ass. This is how you this,
this how you that. We get home, she's like, okay,
I'm gonna show you how to make this. And she
got another tupperware bow. She said, this is just for mixing, okay,
and you use this and you do it dash like

(35:17):
that and do the dash and I do the dash
and she did you this, then the dash and I
did the dash and then then a dash right and
she's like stirring it up. She showed me how to
stir it up. I stir it up. And she said, okay,
when you see this skillet, there's a cast iron skill it.
You put the eggs in here, always in the cast iron,
and then you have to have butter tiff andy so
the eggs can slide. And then she sure give me

(35:39):
the butter and then she let me scoop the butter
and put the butter in there. And she said, now
you turn the fire on, but you don't turn it
on super high. You turn it on medium because you
don't want your eggs to burn. Okay. I'm like okay,
it's I turned it on medium and then she's like,
very good, very good, and I pour the eggs in there.
And I poured it and she said pour it in slow.
You don't got to pour it fast. Slow. And she said,

(36:02):
now take your thing. You're spooning a spitch sturry, stirry.
Just the scramble eggs. You're making scramble. I like scramble, scramble.
I was so happy, so happy. Now I had got
my I got my ass let. I almost burned down
the house. And now she's teaching me how to do it.
And we did it, and we ate the eggs together,
and I just remember I was like in love with

(36:23):
this woman for teaching me this. And then she's like,
now you have to clean up when you cook, you
gotta clean. So then it was then we cleaned the
dishes together. And then after that I was her dish washer.
I always washed the dishes whenever she cooked. I was
in there trying to cook with her. I mean I
was cutting up vegetables and stuff at three and four
years old, like I was the sous chef. I was
always like I wanted to be her best friend, helper

(36:46):
everything like, and she taught me a lot, like every
like a grocery shopping or that when my sisters was born.
I'm changing diapers, I'm making bottles, I'm her best helper,
I'm her everything. Like I loved her, I still love her.
But I miss that mommy. I miss that mommy and

(37:06):
i'm her helper now. But she liked to fight me,
so yeah, be careful because I can't be shown up
to work with a black eye because she's different now.
I missed that mommy, though.

Speaker 2 (37:21):
I can't imagine how hard it is to know someone
that intimately, that closely and then they're not that person
because of a horrific accident that she had, so it's
totally out of her control. And now not only do
you have to get to know this new person you
missed this person that you just so beautifully described, When

(37:46):
did you start even letting yourself process that grief, because
I can imagine it's just shocked.

Speaker 1 (37:53):
Processing that grief. I mean, I don't know. I think
when my grandma passed, who's my first best friend, who
I still miss terribly, I think that's when I think
that's when I started really like, okay, like the last
since she's been gone, it's been two years. I think
it's been the hardest two years in my whole existence,

(38:13):
because that was my shield, that was my like protector.
I could tell her all my dreams, like and she
would be like, well, if you want to do that,
you better figure this out. You better feel like. She
was like a good sounding boy for me. And that's
my first best friend. And I don't even some days
I don't even know how I get out the bed

(38:34):
because I miss her so much. But then also I
don't want to let her down, and she puts she
install so much like no, don't give up, don't be
a quitter, Like we know we're not quitters over here,
so you can't quit. So figure it out. Even if
you got half fast, do it half fast, do it,
get it done. Figure it out. And so that's what

(38:55):
I do. But I also had to like learn it,
like I've been learning how to grieve, I've been learning
how to sit in and and like some people tell me,
I shouldn't make jokes out of everything, but that's how
I process. And I think you use the same the
same muscles, the muscles that you used to cry, same

(39:17):
muscles you used to laugh. It hurts so much when
you cry. I mean sometimes I cry so hard I
throw up, and it is like even though that I
could use the apps, but like I don't want I
don't want that. I'd rather have the apps from laughing
so hard. I'd rather like so, I'll get to a
point where I'm like, oh, I miss my grandma, and
I'll try to remember something. I'll click on something that's

(39:41):
like in my brain, Like I'm clicking on like opening
files up like in a library, remember those index where
you have to Yeah, I'm like, okay, Oh, when we
made us a sweet potato pie, and when we went
to the fair together and left everybody behind, Oh, when
we did like try to like click to the good memories,
to the to the fun stuff, even there was a

(40:02):
lot of hard stuff. But like, I mean, I still
got her wigs. I'll be putting on her wigs sometimes
and like I'm getting afraid because they're starting to lose
her scent. But you know, I still is in the
back of my memory is in there. It's in there,
but like, yeah, and I've been grieving my mom. I
guess I've been grieving her my whole life, my whole
like teens and twenties and thirties and all that, but

(40:25):
not not really focused on it so much as grieving
because the flesh is still here, and I know she
in there somewhere, and I could get little sometimes little
like a little fix. She in her somewhere. That's why
you wish I had. I wish I had magical powers.
I could just Mommy's back. Oh my god, that would

(40:48):
be crazy. Because she was super thirsty for knowledge too.
She calls me sometimes. We got her cell phone and
she been using it, but she keep on trying to
buy stuff. So we got to be careful, like what,
don't put no credit card on it, don't sign it
to know nothing, because she wouldn't want to buy stuff.
And she called me and say, I need to go
to college. I'm trying to go to college. I need
to go get certified in culinary arts. I'm gonna go

(41:09):
get certified in dog rooming. I need to get certified
in my demo Deluxe program. I'm like demo deluxe. She's like, yes, samples,
food samples in marketing in grocery stores. I was like, well,
I'm building a grocery store, so then you could just
you know, do demos in the grocery store. You don't
got to get certified. I got you. She's like, no, no,
but I need to go to college. I need to
I need to go to school. Okay, I have to

(41:30):
go to school. And I'm like, okay, mama, but like,
and that makes me excited that she wants to love
that she wants to go to school. But then I'm
like concerned. Do I let her go to school? Do
I send her to this community college where she potentially
might have an episode and fight somebody, or she might
just start the class start talking, or she starts seeing
things and start screaming at them, or you know, like
do what I allowed this? And like, will I forgive

(41:52):
her too much medication? And she like falls asleep in
the class and she starts snoring super loud, and they
put her out and then we can't find her. Do
I hire an nurse to go to school with her?
Do I like, Okay, you trying to go to school
and you gotta go to school with my mama and
y'all take the same classes. Do I pay for somebody
else at school to go to school with my mama
and protect my mom and make sure she don't eat
too much candy and make sure she don't eat no

(42:13):
junk food and stuff like because that when she eats
junk food or processed foods, that sends her over the edge.
And now she's like in another dimension. And am I
blocking my mama from these dimensions? Because maybe her being
in those other dimensions is really good material and I
need to be sitting with her when she's talking to
these people that I don't see, and maybe that's like
something I could use for a movie or something I

(42:34):
don't know. And maybe God gave her this this like
brain injury to see over there, and maybe she really
protected me. And I don't even know that I'm blocking
my protection because I feel like my grandma was my
shield and my protection, but now that's gone and I
don't have to protect her no more. So I got
to figure out who's protecting me his right now is

(42:55):
just me and my prayers and think my sister, my sister,
definitely we work well together. So and your faith, Oh,
my faith is definitely protectar. Yeah that's what I saying
my prayers. Yeah, like yeah, I mean God, is that
that's my dad? I lost my actual biological physical father,
But I feel like I've been my dad all this time.

(43:16):
I've always believed in God, always had a relationship, been
very mad at him a lot, but you know, it
is what it is. Yeah, I still love him very much.

Speaker 2 (43:24):
Yeah. I mean, as I'm listening to you, it's it's
so challenging to think that you have someone in front
of you, well you know that the person you love
is inside of them, and like you said, you get
the glimpses. But then at the same time, like you said,
it can get abusive, it can be violent, it can
because of the brain injury. And then when you look
at your relationship with your father and you go to

(43:45):
in depth in the book, and I want people to
read the book, but I believe your father left when
you're like three or four, Yeah, and you always had
this fixation of wanting to reconnect with him. And you
talk about in the book, how like any back of
the head you that looked like your father, like that daddy?
Is that my dad?

Speaker 1 (44:04):
Are you my dad? Like you know that book? Are
you my mother?

Speaker 2 (44:06):
Like?

Speaker 1 (44:06):
Are you my daddy? Are you my daddy?

Speaker 2 (44:08):
Like?

Speaker 1 (44:09):
So wanting a dad I needed. I needed that. Like
I think if I would have had him, I probably
I might not be who I am today. For sure,
I wouldn't be who I am today, and that would
be very just a tragedy. But maybe I wouldn't have
slept with so many dudes. Maybe I wouldn't have been
so like a thirsty for attention, or maybe I would

(44:29):
have learned how to live with the man and been
a better wife and been be a better girlfriend and
understand men better. Like but I think like everything happens
the way it's opposed to, even though like I wish
there was some male that was there that I felt
safe with, that could show me on a regular basis
how to be around men, and not like how I

(44:51):
learned how to be around men, which was like I
was a tomboy and I was like, oh yeah, I
could do that, like stupid, so too, you were figuring
it out. I was figuring it out. But but how
much time would I have saved?

Speaker 2 (45:05):
You know?

Speaker 1 (45:05):
And my dad probably would have felt so much less
guilt had he been around, you know, But my mom
was threatening to put him in jail, say get him
deported or whatever. So I get it. I get it.
You ain't want to go back to the war, I
get it.

Speaker 2 (45:17):
But you were able to reconnect with them. Yeah, from
when you read about that, you're like wow, because you
think most people would have resentment and bitterness and have
this like angst against this person, but actually you were
just like this is amazing.

Speaker 1 (45:34):
Yeah, well see I wanted to have that. I thought.
I thought that's what I would have. I thought I
would kick him in the balls and be like, why'd
you even have sex with my mama and make me
and leave me behind? Like I thought I would be
like so mean to him and mad with him. But
that's not what my soul was feeling. My soul was
feeling like, Okay, this is our new adventure. This is amazing, Like, oh,
he's way handsomer than mama said. He's actually voy kinder

(45:57):
than what she said. He's actually this like like everything
that I was told was like the opposite. And then
like everything my grandma told me was kind of like
right on point, which I should have been listening to her.
She was my best friend. I should have listened to
her from the first. But you know, the love my
life is telling me these things, so I'm believing what
she said and like to be in his presence was

(46:19):
like the little girl, the three year old in me
was so happy, and I was kind of upset that
I was too big for him to pick up, Like
I wanted him to pick me up and hold me
and put put me on his hip. And I still
kind of got this affixation with that where like I
kind of would like to start a service where like
retired basketball players can hold you like a baby.

Speaker 2 (46:39):
That's amazing.

Speaker 1 (46:40):
You pay them like three hundred dollars an hour and
they just hold you like a baby and tell you
it's gonna be okay and pat you on the back
and burp you. Why hadn't nobody burps you anymore? I
want somebody that.

Speaker 2 (46:49):
Burnt meious, I've just got this vision of like shock.

Speaker 1 (46:54):
I asked Shashack said, girl, crazy, you actually lost it?
I asked him. He was like, girl, what did you ask?
I said, would you hold me like a baby and
like then burnt me? And he was like, girl, you crazy?
You so damn silly?

Speaker 2 (47:06):
Have you asked any other plans?

Speaker 1 (47:08):
I have mentioned it and they just laugh. I think
they think I'm joking, but I'm dead serious. I don't
even laugh when I say it. I'm like, would you
hold me like a baby and then like put me
off your should and burnt me and then like maybe
hold me on your hip like this and just tell
me it's gonna be okay, that everything's gonna be all right?
Would you do that for me? And they'd be like,
are you crazy? Sure? You stupid? His here girl, you

(47:31):
hear Tiffany and this a comedian right here, it's.

Speaker 2 (47:35):
A real request, though, I can hear what you're saying,
Like there's we all what this feeling of being embraced
and being like just feeling like nothing else matters and
that everything's taken care of and there's just safety. Yeah,
we're all craving.

Speaker 1 (47:48):
That's like when I see my mom now, like like
I see her all the time, but but it's like, right,
I could tell when my cycle coming right before because
I see her and I just want her to hold me,
so I just hug her super tight. She'd be like,
get off, all right, that's a laugh, and I'm like, no,
Mamy wante me. She's like that's enough, that's enough. Clearly
my love language is touched. Right. So then another time

(48:10):
she was sitting on the couch in my house watching
TV and she's just like this TV is so big,
and I felt so proud of myself that she said,
my TV is so big. So then I sat down
next to her and then I just tried to like
crawl up in her lap. I tried to like get
in her lap, and she's like, great, too big, Get off,
Get off me, And I'm just like I want her
to hold me in her lap like she used to
when I was a baby. When I was little, I said,
sit in her lap and watch TV. Lean on her

(48:31):
like this, you know, we watch TV. Together. But I'm
too big now, I'm too damn biga.

Speaker 2 (48:40):
Walk me through that phone call with your dad when
it comes out of nowhere, because you're so much How
old are you even that?

Speaker 1 (48:47):
Get twenty six to be?

Speaker 2 (48:48):
So we do my three four to twenty six, twenty seven.
It's like walk me through.

Speaker 1 (48:53):
Okay. So I talked to this man that's had some facility,
say he knows my dad whatever, and he's gonna give
my dad the number and out of seven, I said, okay. Cool.
Then like days go by and then I get the
car and it's like, hello, is this differenty? You know,
like I knew, like my whole soul knew instantly who
he was. Like it's like DNA, like recognition or something

(49:16):
like the little girl and me lit up like like
I was like laying on the couch sleeping. It's like Daddy,
you know. It's like, Daddy, is that you? And I
was like yes, he was like this is diyat your father.
I'm like, Daddy, where are you bed?

Speaker 2 (49:35):
Where you been?

Speaker 1 (49:36):
Are you sure you're my dad?

Speaker 2 (49:38):
How do you know?

Speaker 1 (49:38):
Wait? Are you sure you're my dad?

Speaker 2 (49:40):
Like?

Speaker 1 (49:40):
And I was asking him questions about family members. He
knew stuff that nobody else would know except like him
and my mama would know. And I was like, where
are you? When can I see you? I need to
see you.

Speaker 2 (49:52):
I miss you?

Speaker 1 (49:55):
Where are you being while you ain't come and get me? Like,
I just him to keep talking that voice. Man, I can't.
I'm not very good at impersonating it. But I got
like a lot of voicemails. I always ask him like
if I do answer, please leave me a voice message.
I got his voice messages and I'd be listening to

(50:15):
him make me feel better, like I miss him. I
was missing him, like I barely knew him, and I
was missing him right, so like I be loving people
too much, I think, but I knew it was him immediately.
I wanted to see him immediately, or set up a
time for me to go and visit him, to drive

(50:37):
up to Virginia. Went up to Virginia and I went
to see him. As soon as I saw him as
like my whole soul rejoice, so happy. He's very handsome.
I'm glad I met him like in that way instead
of like in some nightclub or something, cause I probably
would have tried to hit on him or something. I
thought he was beautiful. And we just talked and talked
and talked, and I was just like trying to crawl

(50:59):
in his lap. But I'm bigger than him, bigger than him.
I was trying to get him to hold me charl
to spend as much time with him as I could,
and like he was feeling a lot of guilt. He's like,
I should have been there for this. I should have
been there for that. And I'm like, yeah, you should have,
but you here now, like we got this now, like
and just getting to know him, and I was asking
him all these questions like is it true that I'm Jewish?

(51:20):
My grandma always say this, this is true. He goes, yes,
this is true, but this and this and this and
this is what happened. And I had to leave and
I had to this and and I'm just like wow,
like asking him something question, what was it like for
you when you was a little boy? Did you use
toilet in the hole? Did you use toilet in the toilet?
Like did you have like what did you have? And
he was like, yeah, we had money, we had a toilet,

(51:40):
I went, I had Italian clothes, I had this, I got,
I learned German, I learned this language. I know this,
I know that, like eight languages. Like I just constantly,
like I feel like I was interrogating him all the time.
And then he came to California and then I would
take him to go see my mom. But then I
would like snap at him and stuff, cause it would
be they slip part of me. That's like, damn doing
all this shiit for you ain't gonna do something for me.

(52:02):
But like then I had to check myself, like, hey,
he gave us life, like be nice. But sometimes I
would be mad, especially like and he would get he
would get the business if I drank. Sometimes I would
get like really like lit and remorseful. Then I would
call him and I'd just cuss him out. I just
give him on. I'm like, I wash because you wasn't there.

(52:22):
I was this because you didn't show it.

Speaker 2 (52:23):
You didn't teach me you did. He did hear that?

Speaker 1 (52:26):
Yeah, he did hear it. He heard it from the
drunk side of me here and.

Speaker 2 (52:28):
When you were you funny when you were drunk like
that or no, that was like intent.

Speaker 1 (52:31):
God, no, I was intent. I was sitting on the porch.
I was like, I married this man. I shouldn't have
married this man. I was like, yeah, I was at
home drinking mad, so on my nerves, I'm like, what
did I do? I ruined my life? Like this isn't
who I'm supposed to be with. But clearly I was
supposed to be there because I needed to learn some things.
And I learned a lot from that relationship, and I'm

(52:53):
grateful for that relationship, but I would never go back.
I remember sitting on the porch just crying to my
daddy about how like I'm made all these bad decisions
and bad choices because I didn't have my daddy to
guide me, and I need it. I need my dad,
I need I needed you, like and he's like, I
would get the place with you don't have to be
with them. I will get a place, and you got

(53:13):
your own room and you got your all this. And
he never did do that. He never got to that
level because he wasn't mentally art where he needed to
be like he was. And that man witnessed a war
and then came here and witnessed a whole bunch of
other horrible things that like I could only imagine. And
then the guilt that he was feeling for like abandoning

(53:36):
his country and you know, abandoning his daughter doing not
like he's feeling super duper guilty. And he's learned learning
how to grieve too. His mother died, his daddy died,
his brothers are all dead. All he got his aunties,
and they you know, if they're anything, if if they
were doing to him anything like what they do to me. Uh,

(53:57):
and they probably did it to him more sh I
just you know, I pray for him. I pray for
his soul. I feel like, oh, man, gotta feel horrible.
You I probably felt like shit on a daily basis,
so I really And then the next day I apologize

(54:20):
so tough to him because going off on him like that,
and I'm like I should have never did that. He's like, no,
it's okay. You know my friends, my friends always like, well,
how was your daughter so nice to you? And you
didn't even raise or I raised my daughters. And my
daughter's so mean to me and evil to me, and
your daughter's nice and kind to you and loves you
like my daughter. Maybe I shouldn't have been there for
my daughter. Maybe she would be nice to me, because
my daughter's mean to me. And then when I was

(54:41):
mean to him, he's like telling all this friend, she's
mean to me, she cuts me out, she was mean
and me God like he could fit in with his
group of friends or whatever. But he's like, it's okay.
You gotta express yourself. You gotta let that out, express yourself.
And I'm like, no, but it's wrong, because I really
do love you. I really do appreciate you giving me life,
even though I hate this life a lot of days,

(55:03):
like a lot of days I hate even Like, man,
why couldn't I have just been a tree, Like could
just stay in one place and watch the world change
around me, Like, but then trees get abused to.

Speaker 2 (55:15):
Yeah, for sure, for sure, there's there's there's a great Yeah,
I mean trees live through a lot, and they've seen
a lot, and they've been through.

Speaker 1 (55:22):
And they lived through a lot of abuse.

Speaker 2 (55:23):
Yeah for sure. But there's so much in what you're
saying that I think resonates so deeply with me. This
curiosity and context around how our parents became who they
were is so huge, Like to actually have context of
how your dad became your dad, how your mom became
your mom. This isn't a matter of whose fault is it.

(55:45):
It's your your fault. It's a count, it's not that
it's let's understand people's stories.

Speaker 1 (55:51):
Yeah, So I don't feel like that it's your fault.
Yeah that it's not my fault. It's not your fault.
You had these experiences, and I think I like to
imagine that there's a contract that you signed with God
before you got here that says this is the stuff
you're gonna go through so you can accomplish these things.
And maybe their job was just to make me. Maybe

(56:11):
their their job was to you know, be in certain
people's lives and find this thing and to activate this
person for that and activate this person for this. Maybe
that was their job. Maybe that that's the contract they signed.
And I hope my mom has like a whole bunch
more stuff to do, uh and lives a lot longer.
And I hope I do get her into college and
like she doesn't fight the teachers or anything like that.

(56:33):
Like I hope that it turns out great and she
does get her certification and calling their yards and she's
able to cook and do whatever it is she wants
to do. Like whatever her dream is, I want her
to have her dream, and I want to I would
love to facilitate it. But also I want to protect
the safety of other years at the same time and
the you know, the mental sanity of others because school, Yeah,

(56:56):
maybe it's set up a part. Maybe I have professors
come to teach her, but she wants to go. Yeah,
so maybe I set it up like you know, hire
some actors and you know, you know, like she's at school,
you at school, and then maybe they are a psychologists,
like you know, maybe maybe she's work studying. Maybe she's
a study. Maybe it's a study program where there's a

(57:17):
therapists in the room, but they study in culinary arts
and they see how someone with this type of damage
in their brain operates in this type of environment. You know,
what I should make some money off of it. Maybe
that could contribute to the generation of wealth. I'm trying
to create this.

Speaker 2 (57:31):
Family, did you always you know? Honestly, I think when
people read this book, they're going to laugh as I'm
laughing right now, and they're also going to feel. And
I'm not just saying this is flattering. I'm not just
saying it because you're here, right, I really do mean this.
It's very rare to meet someone who's been through as

(57:51):
much as you have and hear it in a processed,
thoughtful way. Yes, it's hilarious, but it's also processed. Was
what else apart from comedy was your therapy? Like? What
else has been part of this healing journey? To help
process the actual therapy?

Speaker 1 (58:08):
Therapy? Yeah, I was like ordered by the course to
go to therapy eventually, and like, uh, that helped a lot. Man.
Some therapists were really good and some were like horrible,
And I felt like I was like sitting in a
therapist's office just doing stand up for them because they're
giggling and laughing and stuff, and I'm like, heal me,
heal me, like get the pain away, like give me

(58:28):
where I can like function, and they would make suggestions,
and those suggestions actually like did make a difference. That
one therapist that said, like, get back to doing stand
up as a hobby, just do it as a hobby,
and that turned into a full blown living And I appreciate,
appreciate her for saying that. But like actual therapy, actually
reading books, like actually like reading different books about like

(58:52):
self care, like self care stuff, and maybe they'd be like,
you read this three hundred page book, and it'd be
like one thing in it that I could tell with
me man Louise Hayes. I love me some Louise Hayes.
That lady, if she was still alive, I remember when
she died, I cried for it. If she was still alive,
I kiss I kiss her right on her third eye

(59:12):
and say thank you, kiss her right on her third eye. Yeah,
because that like her her. Like mantras the you Can
Heal your Body book, like even though I don't know
if those those are mantras really help, I do them anyways,
you know, just distract my mind from whatever that's going on.
I don't think the one for indometriosis works. I think

(59:34):
you gotta we gotta rewrite that one. But but but
I mean just just those things like the self care,
self care, being self aware, like and it's a process.

Speaker 2 (59:50):
You know.

Speaker 1 (59:51):
Look, I've been drinking. I've been drinking since I was
twenty one years old, on and off. I would go
years without drinking. Drink now, drink, drink whatever. Not really
my bag. You know, have my incidents. And I'm just like,
you know what, I ain't gonna be drinking no more.
I'm cool. And that was five months ago, by the.

Speaker 2 (01:00:10):
Way, congratulations, Yeah, not.

Speaker 1 (01:00:12):
Six months, but we can roll with six It'll be
six months, it'll be six years. It'll be probably sixteen
years from now.

Speaker 2 (01:00:19):
Like.

Speaker 1 (01:00:20):
And I have like a big old mocktail company, and
I found this non alcoholic roseta is bomb.

Speaker 2 (01:00:28):
Okay, what is this?

Speaker 1 (01:00:29):
It's bomb. I can't even tell you the name because
I need they need to pay me. I don't spend
so much money on it. Nine because like when I
go to parties, I always bring it, bring whatever I
like to drink to the party. I just went to
mgk's party, his birthday party, and I brought the non
alcoholic rose. People like, oh, you're drinking what is that?

(01:00:50):
What you're drinking? I'm like, non alcoholic rose you want
to try something like, oh this is good. I was like, yep,
and my body's not gonna hurt tomorrow, yours will nice.

Speaker 2 (01:00:57):
Nice, it's so good. Oh my god, up the name here.
They're gonna come find it. I don't know. I don't know.
I don't.

Speaker 1 (01:01:03):
I feel like they want. I feel like they won't.
I feel like they gotta come find they know they
they don't. Whole foods.

Speaker 2 (01:01:11):
Okay, you're dropping the little clues, the little whole foods.

Speaker 1 (01:01:15):
And it's and it's the animal on the cup.

Speaker 2 (01:01:21):
I love it. All the hents are drop now the hints.

Speaker 1 (01:01:23):
Drop also like this not alcoholic vodka too, even though
it's I just imagine that it's rubbing alcohol though that's
what it kind of tastes like. But it don't. It
doesn't just rubbing alcohol like alcohol is alcohol.

Speaker 2 (01:01:36):
It is alcohol.

Speaker 1 (01:01:37):
It's not alcohol. It's not alcoholic tastes.

Speaker 2 (01:01:40):
But that's good though. No, it tastes exactly how you
want it to taste. Oh you don't like okay, I.

Speaker 1 (01:01:45):
Never look, I never really liked to taste of the vodka.
But you know, you put a little flavor, a little
sugar in. They drop a jolly rancher in there, and
you know what I'm saying, for some lemons, make an alcohaline.
That's what I would tell myself. Got it, but it
takes the pain away. It would take the pain away
from me.

Speaker 2 (01:01:59):
And now and now now you don't use that to
take the pain away, so.

Speaker 1 (01:02:03):
You just sit in the pain, which he ain't got
process sick.

Speaker 2 (01:02:10):
With your father, I felt like ultimately he's guilt and
shame kind of made you feel like you lost him
again because that was so heavy for him that he
kind of distanced me.

Speaker 1 (01:02:24):
He distanced him stuff from me. I think he knew
he was sick, and then he didn't want me to
see him like that, and he didn't want to have
to depend on me because he knew I would take
care of him.

Speaker 2 (01:02:35):
Like he knew I never wanted money. He never like
you talked about like, he didn't want money from you.
You didn't want to be a part of your fame.
It wasn't It wasn't there.

Speaker 1 (01:02:42):
Now And I would still like fighly pay the light bills,
send groceries to his house and say he'd be like,
don't do that, Like he wanted to take care of me,
but he wasn't capable of taking care of me. He
was sick, and I think he didn't want me to
know that or have anything to do. Like I think
he felt like this is his punishment or whatever for whatever.

(01:03:04):
But he left like a whole like memoryan like what
I need to do, how I need to do it,
and I did it all Like I'm obedient when it
come to my parents, at least I try to be.
I definitely am obedient.

Speaker 2 (01:03:16):
Did you end up organizing the funeral and attending or.

Speaker 1 (01:03:19):
He didn't want no funeral? Oh?

Speaker 2 (01:03:20):
Wow, Okay, he didn't want that.

Speaker 1 (01:03:22):
He didn't want me spending any money on him because
he felt like he didn't spend nothing on me, but
I did. But he did want to be buried with
his mother, so I and it's against the tradition to cremate.
He did not, Like he's like, they're going to be
mad at you, but you know, I don't want you
spending all the money to take me back, Like, go
ahead and cremate me, take me and put me with

(01:03:44):
my mom. And I told him, well, if I cremate, you,
don't put half of you with your mama and half
of you in my garden because you never really fed
me anyways, grow me some food. And I did that,
and then I just I just read this thing like
last year that if you have a cemetery in your backyard,
your property tax free if you got family members like
buried in your back I was like, hmm, I wonder

(01:04:06):
if ashes count, because I need good. This property tax
is killing me.

Speaker 2 (01:04:11):
Interest.

Speaker 1 (01:04:12):
I'm always digging for information, especially when it comes to
my money and my health. Like, so, yeah, I was
just looking for tax baks. Also I saw that, you know,
Trump buried you know, his people's on the golf course,
and then now they don't have to pay no tax
over there.

Speaker 2 (01:04:27):
I did see that. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:04:28):
Yeah, So I was like, oh, what can I do
here in south central LA. And I'm like, hey, my
daddy's over here near the collar greens. You've got the
chili peppers in the mints.

Speaker 2 (01:04:42):
Let's know if that goes through, let's know if you
figure out.

Speaker 1 (01:04:45):
They told me no, I already went to the city
and tried it. I was like, my father is in
the backyard. They was like, no, you need to exhumb
my body. I was like, well, it's ashes. I can't really,
I'm sure the plants ate him up two years ago.
That was back in twenty seventeen, you know, so I'm
pretty sure he's gone, gone, gone.

Speaker 2 (01:05:03):
But yeah, you're talking about taking care of your money
and your health. You were saying there was one point
in time where you had like a billboard up for
your show, but then you still had like a you know,
like a Obama phone. I think you called it. Yeah,
You've always tried to figure that out even now, Like
at one point you lived homeless when you were growing

(01:05:25):
up in your teens and like living in a car,
but now you still live in the area you grew
up in. Yeah, and that's to inspire others to see
what's possible and see that you can still move because
usually people make it and then they leave.

Speaker 1 (01:05:40):
Right But you you really felt that that was Yeah,
I felt its important to stay. I saw I like it.
I feel safe over there, and I want to be
where I'm wanted. You know, I don't want to be
where I'm tolerated. I want to be where I'm wanted.
So it's staying in the hood. I just feel like
I'm a great example to these other kids. Look, Tiffany

(01:06:00):
couldn't read that good. Tiffany couldn't read it all for
a minute. Tiffany couldn't this, Tiffany couldn't that. And look
what she has. She on the billboard right on the
corner front of the house. She own that house right there,
and like three other houses on this street. She also
doing this. She's doing that like she doing stuff in
a community, Like I'm a firm believer of like, oh,
if my community is like messed up, I don't have

(01:06:21):
to leave my community. I can stay right here and
I can make it better. Now if if I was,
like if I was the gang member, maybe it'd be
more difficult, but maybe I could be influencing the other
people in the gang to like, Okay, we're gonna do
this now. This is what the gang's gonna do. Now,
this is what we're doing that. Now. Now you're the manager,
you the security, you do this, Like you gotta buy
a house. Now you have to buy a house. Now.

(01:06:43):
It's funny when somebody buys a house, how they're like
perspective changes on what type of activities they participate in.
Oh interesting, yeah, Like that's what I've noticed anyways, from
like my hood friends, like people in the community, like
what they was all about fighting, all about this, all
about it. As soon as they bought a house, They're like,
oh no, I can't be doing all that. I gotta
cut my grass. I gotta this, I gotta do this.
I need to make my mortgage. I need to do this,

(01:07:04):
like I gotta go to work. I gotta do this.
Like it kind of changes the activity that you participate in,
Like you might still be a thug and still be
a gangster, but I gotta go get my money. I
don't have time to be fighting you. I don't have
time to be like potentially killing you and losing my house,
even though the house could help me post bail. Like also,
never always be telling them like I can't imagine you say,

(01:07:26):
and this is my block, this is my block, but
you on section eight. You don't own nothing on this block.
Like you own nothing on this block, but this is
your block. No, this block belongs to the Herreras, the Zazinski's,
the go like this block well alongs everybody that owns
land over here. You don't own nothing. You actually paying
twelve dollars a month in rent in selling dope like

(01:07:48):
you a rental store friend like you not? You don't
own nothing over here. Who in your crew owns something?
Like to me them, that's more like, okay, this is
our block, Like do your granny pass your ranny? Don't
even you sold like y'all sold it and still rent,
like you don't nobody owns anything on this block. But
you're saying it's your block. It ain't your block. Bruh.

(01:08:10):
You can't even inherit anything over here, so you look
like an idiot. You're protecting off their stuff and you're
not even really protecting it. You're running it into the ground.
Like how you expect anybody to really respect you? You
don't even own anything? Like would you own this old
ass oesmobile with them rims? You own the rims? Or no?
You renting those rims? You don't even own the rims? Like, yeah,

(01:08:31):
life is temporary, but you got four kids. They need
to have something to inherit. What are they going to
inherit from you? Those rims? You could do better, bruh?
Do better?

Speaker 2 (01:08:41):
You do you see people? Do you feel that you
see things changing and people changing and that.

Speaker 1 (01:08:46):
Yeah, if it's slow and paced, yeah it's slow, slowly changing.
But also the demographic is changing too, so like but
they thought they was going to be in that Section
eight for I don't know how long they thought they
was gonna be in it. Now the landlord's like, oh no,
I don't know longer wanted to be Section A. So
you gonna have to pay the four thousand dollars a
month for rent or you're gonna have to move. And
now they in section al Lancaster, Palmdale, himmet So now

(01:09:08):
I barely even see them anymore, if at all, you know.
And they and they're like, hey, I got I bought
the house. I bought like people behind the stuff like
I had to go way out of the out lay
to buy it, but I own something now like this
is going better for me. This is going better for me.
So that I see changes in like the people that
I grew up with, and I'm really happy for them.

(01:09:28):
That's really happy for them.

Speaker 2 (01:09:30):
I mean, and it's incredible that you've been able to,
you know, make home in the community and you talk
about it as your community. It's a place where you
feel safe, you feel comfortable.

Speaker 1 (01:09:38):
Yeah, never we'd be looking out for each other. And
then Asian lady across the street be like I saw
the man in the car at the camera, I called
the police.

Speaker 2 (01:09:45):
Thank you.

Speaker 1 (01:09:46):
The dude next door, he's a retired police officer. He
be showing people officer like every I said, you should
be behind a gate, You should be behind a gate,
and I'm like, but behind this door is guns. Like
they don't want no, no, no, don't want to smoke, like,
don't come up here, and I might make you clean
my room map.

Speaker 2 (01:10:02):
So it's amazing.

Speaker 1 (01:10:05):
Good luck finding anything of any value in there.

Speaker 2 (01:10:07):
It's amazing, Tiffany, You've had such a you know, genuinely,
we've been doing about your personal life so much. You've
had such an amazing professional journey as well. When you're
talking about your imagination and even your solutions for wanting
a basketball player to hold you and make you feel
like a baby, or you know, just the way your
imagination works to solve things like what is your imagination

(01:10:32):
saying about creative, artistic, expressive projects like where do you
not what's next? Because I don't I don't find that
question interesting, but in the sense of like where do
you let your imagination run free? And how do you
how do you allow it to do that so that
you can explore this amazing world you have inside your head.

Speaker 1 (01:10:50):
Yes, Tiffany Land. I wish I wish could be an
amusement party like Unicorn Island, Black Unicorn Island. Yes, okay,
that's the next book. Okay, so well, it's been running
so like with music. I love creating music. Like I said,
I like singing to the bees. I like singing. I've
been preparing like I got a band, and so I've

(01:11:10):
always been kind of in love with like the forties,
the thirties, the twenties, you know that jazzy era, the
fifties and singing in a like a supper club and
doing that. So I just performed at verbrado Oh last month,
and it was like super dope. It was so much fun. No,
that was this month. Actually it was super fun and
like I had this like classic dress on and singing

(01:11:34):
these songs. Now I'm not the best singer, but you
know what, if Bob Dylan could make a career out
of it, I could too. That's how I feel about it.
Like you don't, It's not about how well you sing.
It's about how entertaining you are, Like how do you
make it? How do you make them feel? It's all
about how you That's what entertainment is. It's like, well,
you contain these people and you make them feel a

(01:11:54):
certain type of way, and is it a feeling that
they want to walk away and say, hey, I want
other people to feel that too. That was kind of great,
that was amazing, or that was an experience, right, So
like I'm very like about that. So I'm singing like
old songs from the thirties and twenties and forties and fifties,
and then some of my original songs that I've made
and I've been working with, like Diane Warren writing some

(01:12:15):
really dope songs to like empower women, empower people anyways,
and then like a really cool breakup song it's like
my favorite I want you bet, I want you God,
I need you bet, I need you out of my life.
I fuck, I love it so good. Then then like

(01:12:35):
all the movies I want to make, right, So like
somebody's that just like you said you want to make
eighty movies by the time you're fifty, you got a
long way to go. And I'm like, I didn't say
I want to beat in all those movies. I want
to create an opportunity for other people to tell their stories,
and I'm just producing on it. I'm being a part
of the creation process, Like we still on the shot
the flow Jow movie. Gotta get that script right, like

(01:12:56):
and I could just imagine how dope that's going to be.
The nails, the hair, me running on fast my body,
like you know, and hey, if I'm too old, okay,
I'm too old, give someone else opportunity or AI is
coming in real good. But tell that love story between
her and her husband. And then I want to do

(01:13:19):
I want to see the Edda James story. I want
to see that, like because she grew up in foster
care like me, she been through the ringer, had to
perform as a kid, and all the different homes she
was in, Like, I want to see that story. Also,
I want to do some kind of like a documentary
or something about like all these successful women. I have

(01:13:40):
never met one successful woman that has not been through shit.
Like any woman that I have ever met or heard
of that successful has like been beat up in some
kind of way physically, emotionally, mentally something been beat up
some kind of and bounce back in like stood strong

(01:14:01):
ten toes down. I'm gonna make this happen, and it
happens right, And I want to do something about that
because I think right now too, like there's so many
young girls that like that I've talked to that seem
to feel hopeless, feel like you know, what's the point?
Like no, like nobody cares about me. And it's like
there are people that care about you, you just can't
see them right now. You haven't met them yet, or

(01:14:24):
you have met them, you just don't know how to
identify what care is. So something about that I wanted
to do Who Framed Roger Rabbit two? I feel like, oh,
that would be so good and I want to be
the detective and just correct it. Maybe I'll be Rebecca Rabbit,
just consister who marries Roger's breth. I don't know, but

(01:14:48):
like I want to see that because that was a
really good movie that was based off of some true
stuff that happened in Los Angeles. That's why we have
Freeways now because of that judge that was in that movie.
That's a real judge. So I would love to like
do something with that. I have so many ideas. I
love it animation. I want to open this grocery store.
I could see it in my minds eyes, like I'm

(01:15:10):
shopping in it every day. I know that's going to
happen and create some like really awesome human beings.

Speaker 2 (01:15:17):
I love how there's no limits their creativity. And I
think we I think we're now living in a time
in the world where people can be multi hyphenets. And
what you just said, it's I think a lot of
the time we've been like, oh, you have to be talented,
you have to be this, And what we realize is
who can make people feel something in any sort of way,
and we resonate with that, we all connect with it.
And I think if anyone who's listening and watching and

(01:15:38):
wants to do something things, I wish I started ten
years ago. I wish I started when I was younger.
Oh I didn't get that, you know, I didn't have
parents who was supporting it. It's almost like it doesn't matter.

Speaker 1 (01:15:47):
It doesn't matter the KFC does started. It was sixty
five seven years old. Yeah, he was out and that
thing is all over the world. KFC is all over
the world. Kentucky Fried Chicken every single country.

Speaker 2 (01:16:00):
They had enough competition too. Let McDonald and.

Speaker 1 (01:16:03):
What competition is all over the world. Now, he might
not have lived long enough to see it be all
over the world. But hey, he started something. He's a visionary,
and I feel like that's that's what I am at
the end of the day. I'm a visionary and I'm
an administrator of joy. That's all I am. And some
people hate that, and that's okay. That's because you don't
know how to process joy. You don't. You got a

(01:16:23):
lot of hurt in your heart, got a lot of hurt.
You need to figure out how to process that. And
if you want to learn, I'm down to show you
a little bit. I can't, you know. I'm still processing
my heart. But if you get this book and your joy,
I curse you with joy my healthy son and my
healthy son, and maybe your breath on stank so bad.
I think people with a lot of hate and they
art got bad breath.

Speaker 2 (01:16:41):
Oh that's an interesting hypothesis. Wow, that's that's interesting. I'm
going to start testing that out.

Speaker 1 (01:16:48):
My research. I mean, I don't it's funny like people
that talk really poorly and negative about other people, they
breath usually stank.

Speaker 2 (01:16:57):
That's fascinating if you.

Speaker 1 (01:16:58):
Think about it. I mean, do you ever sit around
people that just talk negative of all the time? You don't,
like you could be at a party or something, and
they just liked, you know, a bitch did this? Like
breath is horrible. They are dying on the inside. Or
you ever been in a car with somebody and they
don't stop talking in the whole car smell like their breath.
It's just atrocious. And then everything when you start to

(01:17:21):
realize everything they're saying is negative. It's not even anything positive.
It's a lot of hating their heart. Or they need
a dentist because that tooth is dead. There's that that
tooth is hating, hating the rest of their body, and
when they can end up having a heart attack from that.
Did you know most heart attacks come from bad teeth?

Speaker 2 (01:17:38):
I did not. That's not Is that true?

Speaker 1 (01:17:40):
No, that's not. I think So that's what I think.
Resett the Dentist Association loves me for this. But just
think about this. Just think about this. Think about this.
Every person that you know that has had a heart attack, Okay,
did was it teeth nice?

Speaker 2 (01:18:00):
I'd have to look into it. I have to look
into it.

Speaker 1 (01:18:02):
Think about it. Bad teeth, bad heart.

Speaker 2 (01:18:07):
Tiffany, tell me what little Tiffany, Little t if little
t look to you now, what would you be proud.

Speaker 1 (01:18:14):
Of Little Ta be proud that we own so many homes.
Little T would be proud that we housing so many
foster kids. Little T would be proud that we lived
out our dreams of being like on our Senior Hall Show.
And although we didn't get pregnant by our senior or anything,
still happy that that's a friend that we could call

(01:18:36):
on for advice. Little Tea would be really happy. Little
T would be so happy about the car that we
have now, even though it's so hoopie right now cause
somebody hear my other car. Little TA is happy that
I got that car because looking it's like a transformer
when a hood go down. Even though it's old and raggedy,

(01:18:56):
she loves that car. Little T would be super happy
about the fact that we have enough money that we
never have to be hungry again, never hungry, and never
homeless again, never, no matter what may. Little T be
happy that we made enough friends that if something was
to happen, it would be okay. It would be okay
that we wouldn't we might not have our own home,

(01:19:17):
but we would have a place to stay. And Little
T would be very proud that we didn't go to prison.
But Little T is confident that if we went to prison,
we would be like doing just finding there, because we
was definitely thinking of ways to that could have ended
us up in prison, thinking of some really crazy stuff.

(01:19:38):
And she would be proud that like that we can
give jobs that like I'm capable of creating jobs, and
that every time I say yes to a job, that's
two or three hundred people that get to work immediately
and thousands that get to work once it comes out,
you know, and Little Tea would be like even she

(01:19:58):
would be disappointed that, you know, we got a duy,
but even more proud that if you google black women
with a duy, only I pop up Gloreala. What would
Little T and Josephine Baker reent first? Before Gloreala got hers?
It was just me and Josephine Baker. Wow, Google famous

(01:20:21):
Black women with a d uy? See what come up? Wow?

Speaker 2 (01:20:25):
What would Little T look at you now and feel like?

Speaker 1 (01:20:30):
She'd be like, you are international? We international. They talked
about it on the Korean news, the News of Africa.
It's international. You are well famous. Suld be so proud.

Speaker 2 (01:20:46):
What would you wish that you did? What would you
wish if there was anything that she was like, I
wish we could get back to that. Wish we could
do more of that. I wish I wish there was.

Speaker 1 (01:20:56):
I wish we still did that gymnastics cool and the
rhythmic dance cool. She wishes that I will. I know
she does wish we could have went to the Olympics
and been a rhythmic dancer and stuck to that. She's
disappointed in me that my splits are not all the
way to the ground anymore.

Speaker 2 (01:21:17):
There used to be.

Speaker 1 (01:21:18):
They used to be to the ground, used to be
coochie to the floor. Not no more. She's very disappointed.
It's possible, it's possible, with proper training, discipline, this can
be done. But she is disappointed also that we didn't
become a hula dancers. It's supposed to be a hula dancer.
She's disappointed in that too. But other than that, man,

(01:21:40):
that's possible. I took I took a few classes. I
know how to work them hips. I'm just not a professional.
Just we can create a movie where I end up
being a hula dancer. Everything is spossible. Also, she's a
little disappointed that we're not working in a snicker factory
or know how to make pantyhouse from scratch. I suplos
to know how to make pantyhouse by now, but I don't.
I love it, but I could, but I don't know

(01:22:01):
how to, like, you know, weave them and fix a run.
I'm supposed to know how to fix a run and
it's stocking. I know how to put the nail policy
on there and stop the hit it with the hair
spray stopped the run. But I'm supposed to know how
to weave nyh line and stop it. That's what I'm
supposed to know how to do. It's not too late
to lunch, I keep telling them, little t it ain't
too late. We never know. But she is proud that

(01:22:23):
I did make my own beef turkey, even though we're
supposed to work in a beef turkey factory. But I
know I know how to make beef turkey, So she's
proud of that. We got a food dehydrator, and I
talk about we isn't me and little Tea. She's still alive,
of course, and she still be talking. Mess. Who's up

(01:22:45):
on the did you google? It comes up legendary?

Speaker 2 (01:22:51):
You hear that we just checked it verified.

Speaker 1 (01:22:53):
I'm just saying that some people will be like, that's you.
You should be ashamed of that. But I know a
lot of other famous black women who have duys, but
nobody knows. Just because nobody cares, they care about me.
That's how I look at it. Man, that might be
a horrible thing. It might be horrible. It might be
horrible for me to think that way. But I did

(01:23:13):
my community service and I'm helping out in all these
different places, and I've made new friends because of it,
and I might be going on dinner dates with this
police now. Because everything happens for a reason. Everything happens
for a reason. Every if I get married in Beverly Hills,
you know why. Everything happens for a reason. But that

(01:23:38):
allowed me to know that, like little tears, like yo,
it's a lot of people that care about us. Because
if didn't nobody care about you, nobody would write about it.
They wouldn't make videos about it. They wouldn't be like,
oh gosh, she's having a breakdown whatever. Like they wouldn't
be talking about it like I'm like, I'm white girl famous.

(01:23:58):
They talking about it in Africa, all over Africa. They're
talking about in Asia. I don't even know I was
popping like that in age, like in Korean news. These
studios can now not say she's not international.

Speaker 2 (01:24:14):
You can't say this is proof.

Speaker 1 (01:24:16):
This is the proof international. BBC talked about it seeing
Duy and I blew a point oh three. I was
sleep pulled over. Now, maybe I was parked wrong. It
should have been a bad parking ticket. That's what it
should have been. But you know what it is, what
it is. Some things need to happen for came. No

(01:24:38):
studio says she's not international. That proves it right there,
right there. It might not be the best way to
prove it, but god damn it. That proofs that people care.

Speaker 2 (01:24:49):
Tiffney. You are a treat. And I enjoyed this pantomica.
I don't think I've ever loved this much on the show.

Speaker 1 (01:24:55):
He doesn't even laughing, he was just giggling.

Speaker 2 (01:25:00):
Honestly, I'm so so happy that you put this book
to them. I'm so grateful that I got to hang
out with you and do this with you. Yeah, we're
talking for nearly two hours and it's flown by. We
end every episode with of on purpose with a fast
five or final five. Every question has to be answered
in one word to one sentence maximum. Okay, Tiffany, your

(01:25:21):
final five. Now, these are rules.

Speaker 1 (01:25:23):
Okay, these are rules to follow rules. Hear that?

Speaker 2 (01:25:27):
So question one, okay, Tiffany, what is the best advice
you've ever heard or received?

Speaker 1 (01:25:34):
Don't let nobody in your house. They don't hand one
to lose.

Speaker 2 (01:25:37):
I like that that. We never had that love that.
Question number two, what is the worst advice you've ever
heard or received?

Speaker 1 (01:25:46):
I'm just thinking of stupid sa stupid stuff. I've heard
me say to me that I know no, because that's
a statement that's not necessarily advice.

Speaker 2 (01:25:57):
That makes sense. They'll go and say it's coming to
your mind. I when to hear look on your face
means we have to hear it.

Speaker 1 (01:26:06):
Good long ago. Putting no condom on you know I
love you. That do not mean a man love you.
It do not mean he love you.

Speaker 2 (01:26:13):
That's brilliant.

Speaker 1 (01:26:14):
That is not love.

Speaker 2 (01:26:17):
That's brilliant.

Speaker 1 (01:26:18):
That is not love. Every woman out there, just because
he don't want to put a condom on does not
mean he love you. He is just trying to get
wet spit on it.

Speaker 2 (01:26:28):
I'm glad you shared that. Sorry, I'm glad you shaid it.
That's the question Number three, What is your most repeated
thought on a daily basis?

Speaker 1 (01:26:44):
Clean your room, clean room, Clean your room. I gotta
clean my room. I'm gonna make some time to clean
his room. That's okay, you can't keep working on that
one project cleaning room.

Speaker 2 (01:26:54):
That's great. Question him before, What's something that you used
to value that you don't value anymore? Mmm.

Speaker 1 (01:27:02):
Something that I used to value that I don't value anymore.
Saving checks. I used to save checks. Okay, checks that
people are writing, I put them in a photo album.
I don't do that no more because too many checks
there's direct deposits. But but yeah, but if someone hands

(01:27:25):
me a check today, I will take a picture of it.
But I don't put it in a photo album anymore.
It's in a photo though, in my phone.

Speaker 2 (01:27:31):
But it's beautiful.

Speaker 1 (01:27:32):
But I used to like because I thought it was
so awesome. If somebody handwrite me a check, they sign it,
even if it's a company, they seem they mailed it
to me and it's money. And then when you could
take a picture of it, deposit. I have two photo
albums full of checks.

Speaker 2 (01:27:47):
I love that. Fifth and final question, Tiffany. We asked
just every guest who's ever been on the show. If
you could create one law that everyone in the world
had to follow, what would it be.

Speaker 1 (01:27:58):
Well, you have to hug someone every Oh, I love
that one. A hug a hug, even if you don't
like being a hug, you got a hug. Like, if
you don't get at least one hug in you gotta
get a hug or make someone else laugh every day. Yeah,
that would make the world better.

Speaker 2 (01:28:14):
It's good, Lork.

Speaker 1 (01:28:15):
A lot of people are angry because they don't get
no hugs. Nobody touches them and they need a hug. Yeah,
but don't be just her. People be randomly just hugging me.
Yesterday was in the airport. This lady just came up
to me crying full tears, and she said just thank
you so much, thank you so much, and I start crying.

Speaker 2 (01:28:32):
I was like, what are we thinking? It's going up?

Speaker 1 (01:28:35):
And she just hugged me. And then I was like
happy that she hugged me. But then at the same
time I was mad because she had on tears and
it was all on my shoulder.

Speaker 2 (01:28:42):
You set the Lord. She just falling the Lord.

Speaker 1 (01:28:45):
She was falling the lot. And I appreciated the hug,
but I did not like the tears on my shoulder.
But I really wanted to know why she was crying.
And I do not know why she was crying. I
had to get on the plane. I still don't know
exactly why. I think she was happy. Either she was
happy that I cut off my hair off because all
her airs cut off, or she was happy that I
went to Israel because I did see it start David
on her. So I'm gonna go with this because I

(01:29:06):
went to Israel even though because we all had it. Yeah,
I went in February for Black History when I went
to find all the black.

Speaker 2 (01:29:14):
People and I did what was that experience? Like?

Speaker 1 (01:29:16):
That was amazing. It's just like California, bro. It felt
like I was in America, but they speak Hebrew. It's
very interesting.

Speaker 2 (01:29:23):
It's your first time, first time?

Speaker 1 (01:29:26):
First time?

Speaker 2 (01:29:26):
Is that quite a powerful experience? In terms?

Speaker 1 (01:29:29):
It was very powerful because you know, every religion is there,
everybody's there, everybody's there. Yeah, I'm not. You went in
twenty seventeen and when I went to Jerusalem, maybe because
there's a war going on, there was barely anybody in
Jerusalem like that, so I didn't have to wait in
no long lines. I could do all the activities, got

(01:29:50):
the shop freely. Nobody's like bumping into me, nobody's yelling
at me. So it was kind of beautiful because I
had been doing my researching and seeing like, oh, you
might have to wait in line to go in here,
you have the waiting line, go wait for this. I
didn't have to wait to go in anything. I went
into all the churches. I did not get to go
into the mosque, probably because they knew who I was
or whatever and that I'm Jewish. So but I looked.

(01:30:11):
I was like I was over here like this, what
made you want to go right now? Well, I was
supposed to go, like four years ago. I was supposed
to go. I already was planning on going. I already
had a ticket like trying to go. You know, it's
funny because every people saying they paid you to go there,
and I'm like that check I would have took a
picture of and posted, Okay, nobody paid me to be anywhere.

(01:30:31):
This was me wanting to, like, I'm super thirsty for knowledge.
I read about these places and the Bible and the
Torah in the Koran, I read about like I went
to the Church of Scientology. They talked about it was
like everybody talks about this place, like I need to
see this, and this is like where Jesus was, where
this person was, Abraham, all the all the major players
was in that area, So let me go see this.

(01:30:55):
And I went, and it was I got to go
in that tunnel, right, the underground tunnel, and that where
the Micvah is, and like learn about that. That's where
baptism came from, from the Micvah and all that stuff,
and people getting cleaned up coming from all the other
nations to come visit the the end of that's the
that's the trail that Jesus walked every year, and then
he walked at that one particular year and got assassinated

(01:31:17):
at the top of it, right, and they built the
church around where they have, you know, killed them and
around where they say he was buried. And it's something there.
I don't know if it's aliens underneath the rock or
if the rock is from Mars and they got some
kind of energy. It's some kind of energetic like reboost reset,

(01:31:39):
like on the soul. I felt like I was surrounded
like I felt like I was surrounded by like my ancestors.
I could feel like here whispers. I was like looking
around to see did they put some speakers in here
or something like. I was hearing like like, hey, this
is what you need to do now, this is what
you need like like guidance, Like this is where you
go for guidance. I prayed at the wall, put a

(01:31:59):
little prayers in there, prayed in the church. I was like,
pray everywhere. If God is here, if God is all
throughout this, well, then geez, let me give something. Let
me pray everywhere. You know. That's how I felt about it.
I feel like I feel like we all praying to
the same person. We're just doing it in different ways
because we come from different cultures because of Babylon. But
it's a Babylone where everybody got the different languages and stuff.

(01:32:22):
We're in the Bible where, say, uh, where everybody was
speaking one language at first, and then Babbel Babbel when
it was building a tower of Babble and Babylon, right,
and then everybody started battling because everybody's speaking different languages
and they start separating into different tribes, different whatever because
they didn't speak the same languages anymore. Right, is that

(01:32:43):
int Come on, you a monk, You're supposed to know
all these different things tradition. Okay, so what so what
did the monks say? How did different languages come about?

Speaker 2 (01:32:52):
We never really talked about that. That wasn't part of
the education, so.

Speaker 1 (01:32:56):
It didn't care about why people speak different languages.

Speaker 2 (01:32:58):
I care about that. But you don't know why.

Speaker 1 (01:33:02):
People speak different languages. Let's ask our researcher over there, researcher,
can you tell me? Because I'm pretty sure. I'm pretty
sure it's Babylon Battle? Where where where people started when
God made people start speaking different languages because he was like, oh,
they keep talking to mustters, so they're doing too much

(01:33:22):
over God caused some confusion. That's like my number one
thing I hate is confusion. But my room looks like
it's confused. But I know where everything at. But I
hate confusion. That the Tower of Battle, I didn't want
to say anything. I didn't know, so so I say
all that to say, I don't know if it's aliens

(01:33:42):
under the rock. I don't know if the rock is
from Mars. I don't know if that's actually God is
in the rock. I don't know if God is hanging
out in the mosque, in the Temple. I don't know.
I don't know, But what I do know about Jerusalem
is it is a very powerful place. There's definitely something
spiritual going on. It taps into the spirit. I don't know,
if it's like heightened energy where all your chakras open

(01:34:03):
up and you could get like messages coming through or whatever.
Something's going on there. And it's all the different races
and religions are there in all throughout the country like
and they're and they're dealing with a lot of the
same crap that we're dealing with amongst themselves. I was
talking to the Black Juice that there's a very large
African American diaspora of black Hebrew juice up in Demona.

(01:34:26):
And they say the Moona is where the nuclear weapons are,
but I think the nuclear weapons is the Black African
Americans rother down jaspora there. They could they go off
the chain, but I could be wrong. I don't know,
but I was hanging out with a lot of them,
and I was learning a lot. And I went to
Masada and that was like absolutely gorgeous. I went to

(01:34:47):
the Dead Sea. Do not pee when you're in the
dead Sea. They gonna heal. H they gonna hear, and
they say and they say they're gonna burn. Well, just's
gonna heal. It's gonna be disaffected, they said. They say
that nothing grows in the dead Sea. But I beg
to different because I seen them salt spikes growing on
the poles over there. I think the salt girls.

Speaker 2 (01:35:08):
And then.

Speaker 1 (01:35:10):
And what else, Hana, I got so much say oh,
And I went to this other place called Sakhna, and
it's like natural springs and it's like the whole thing
of three hundred or whatever, the spartans of three hundred.
It was like, now it's too far away from where
Soakna is, and there's this natural experience and I was
all in there. It felt like I was getting younger
or something. There was fish coming up eating the dead
skin off my feet. So I was experiencing a lot

(01:35:32):
of the nature and the actual people. And I was
like talking with the Beda Wins and talking with like
I talked with everybody. And there was Palestinians there too,
and I'm talking with them, and I got to go
to keep it and I got to see I could
see Gayza from there, and it was horrible, is absolutely horrible.
I don't know why humans do this to each other.

(01:35:55):
Maybe because they don't get enough hugs. I don't know why,
like understand how like anybody would want to eradicate any
group of people, any kind of like that part. I
just I don't know. I don't have that in me.
I can't understand it. I don't even want to make
myself understand it. I just would like that to stop.

(01:36:17):
I want peace. Everybody should have peace. Everybody deserves joy.
So I curse the world with joy.

Speaker 2 (01:36:26):
The book is called A Curse You would Joy, Tiffany Haddish.
It's available right now. This conversation, I'm sure it's inspired
you to go and grab a copy of the book.
Dive deep into it. You are gonna laugh, you're gonna learn,
you're gonna cry, you're gonna feel it all. Tiffany, thank
you for being extraordinary. Genuinely, you're extraordinary. Thank you. I

(01:36:46):
can't think of another word.

Speaker 1 (01:36:48):
Thank I thought you said I was extraordinary, and I
got really excited, because that's all you know. I want
to be ordinary, but I know that I'm not. I'm extraordinary.

Speaker 2 (01:36:55):
Your your presence is infectious, your energy is magnetic. I
mean it's honestly, just being around you is is joy
good and I want to thank you for sharing that
with us and my own purpose community to do.

Speaker 1 (01:37:09):
I got some of that rock in my pocket.

Speaker 2 (01:37:11):
Love it.

Speaker 1 (01:37:14):
But I did still some dirt from the the from
that tunnel and two rocks from I want to become
an archaeologist. That's gonna be my next thing. There you go,
I'm gonna go over there and do archaeology for like
three days. I love it, and go dig out some
more stuff, maybe open a dress shop in that tunnel.
It felt like a mall.

Speaker 2 (01:37:32):
Yeah, like a mall. Well, they're most probably copied that someone.
Someone got the idea from there. Probably that's that's how
they got it. You're right, that's how they got you.

Speaker 1 (01:37:43):
Right, See, Jake, when I hang out with you, I
learned stuff.

Speaker 2 (01:37:47):
No, I just know nothing at all.

Speaker 1 (01:37:49):
I think our intentions were met here today.

Speaker 2 (01:37:51):
Without a doubt. And I want to tell everyone who's
listening and watching, make sure you share what you learned
from Tiffany. Tag both of us on on Instagram, on TikTok.
Let us know what stayed with you or resonated with you,
go connected with you in the YouTube comments let us
know because I love to see what Tiffany shared that's
helping you become happier, healthier, and healed. Thanks so much,

(01:38:13):
thank you, thank you, You're amazing. If you love this episode,
you'll enjoy my conversation with Megan Trainer on breaking generational
trauma and how to be confident from the inside out.

Speaker 1 (01:38:25):
My therapist told me stand in the mirror naked for
five minutes. It was already tough for me to love
my body, but after the C section scar with all
the stretch marks, now I'm looking at myself like I've
been hacked.

Speaker 2 (01:38:36):
But day three, when I did it, I was like

Speaker 1 (01:38:38):
You know what, her thighs are cute

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