Melissa Rivers

Stephen sits down with longtime friend, Melissa Rivers to discuss bad movies, bad TV shows, growing up as the daughter of comedy legend Joan Rivers, working alongside her mom on the red carpet, and the shocking celebrity encounter that made even Melissa fangirl. Please note that this episode was recorded before the wildfires in Los Angeles, in which Melissa lost her house as did so many people. We ask that you consider donating to one of the following charities:

American Red Cross

https://www.redcross.org/donate/donation.html/?srsltid=AfmBOooVSGxn9apX5ccijBOJhE9R2NFjPCWHoJdmIDz7jAVKZ8_axRc6

LA Fire Dept Foundation
https://supportlafd.org/our-work/
https://lafd.org/fire-stations/station-69: Melissa and Steve’s home fire station

Pasadena Humane Society
https://give.pasadenahumane.org/give/654134/#!/donation/checkout

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, Jared, here we are again. Yeah, could you te
this one up for us quick? And then I'll fill
in the blanks. I just I love that One Bad
Movie gets the opportunity to do really solid positive things,
So let's go.

Speaker 2 (00:16):
For it, all right, Well, welcome back to One Bad Movie.
So today's episode, Steven, we have a very very special guest.
We actually moved her around in the order because of
some recent events, which we'll get into in a bit,
But this was a great conversation. I was actually not
there for this, if you remember this, I was out
of town, so I was listening to it for the

(00:37):
first time as a listener, and I have some questions
for later. But you guys talked about some pretty fun stuff,
like she brought in a list of her favorite bad movies,
and then you guys were talking about bad TV and
diving into what it was like to be raised by
Joan Rivers of all people, and what kind of man
she found suitable for her daughter.

Speaker 1 (00:56):
Yeah, we had a couple of snippets in there that
were very old school, very behind the scenes. I think,
you know, Melissa and I come from like kind of
a similar celebrity that kind of paved away before us,
and that's you know, her mom and my big brother. Yeah,
but I just think it's fascinating that she and I

(01:18):
never really worked together in any one kind of like
a movie, a TV show, you know, blah blah blah blah.
We just crossed paths here and there. But now regardless
of that, just because the coolest thing, you know, for
me about Melissa is she's just so really real, you
know what I mean.

Speaker 3 (01:36):
You could see when she did.

Speaker 1 (01:37):
The red carpet stuff for their mom. You know, she
had fun, but I think she had to kind of behavior,
you know, And now she's just so funny. Her new
podcast is brilliant, and we're so grateful she's.

Speaker 3 (01:51):
Done one bad movie.

Speaker 1 (01:53):
And like you said, we taped this recording with Melissa
while back. It was before these fires in California, and
I don't know if everybody knows, but you know, Melissa
Rivers lost her home with many many wonderful memories in
it from her life and with her mom and things
like that. So we just wanted to take a minute
and just set up this interview with Melissa. Let you

(02:15):
all know that we welcome your good vibes and prayers.

Speaker 2 (02:19):
We also want to thank the firefighters are combating the fires,
and ask our listeners if you if you can give,
please do and Stephen you have those charities now for Melissa.

Speaker 1 (02:26):
That Melissa was hoping we could just give a shout
out to you and you'll put the links out, Jared,
that'd be great.

Speaker 3 (02:32):
I'll put the links in the.

Speaker 1 (02:33):
LA Fire Department Foundation and the Pasadena Humane Society. Our
hearts go out to everyone in Cali for this, you know, catastrophe. Uh,
but we do want to thank the firefighters, and we
just want to thanks everybody for listening and giving as
best they can.

Speaker 2 (02:54):
All right, So, no matter when you're hearing this episode, though,
it's always a good time to give if you can.
And thank you to all you guys for supporting us.
Here at one bad movie. Now, without further ado, Melissa rivers,
and stick around for after the episode for a little
special bonus that we don't normally do.

Speaker 3 (03:18):
Bad lips. It's so bad, this sun.

Speaker 4 (03:29):
So bad.

Speaker 1 (03:30):
It's one bad mon.

Speaker 4 (03:35):
A huge rabbit hole thinking about bad movies. A shoot,
I'll read you my list.

Speaker 1 (03:40):
We have all the time in the world, darling. So
this idea was let me slow down to go fast,
which is one of my expressions that drive up my
John John mcguailliard crazy.

Speaker 3 (03:55):
My other wife, right, your this is your work wife.
This is.

Speaker 1 (04:01):
If my wife could handle me like John, does.

Speaker 3 (04:07):
I tell you what? I tell you what?

Speaker 4 (04:11):
By the way, she showed up at work today and
we were dress matching. What does that tell you about
the tow long we've been together?

Speaker 1 (04:17):
I married thirty four years. I married the youngest Baldwin brother, married.

Speaker 3 (04:23):
The longest, longer than Billy, Longer than Billy.

Speaker 4 (04:28):
Yeah, wow, Yeah, they've been marry a long time.

Speaker 1 (04:31):
I wish I could tell you that story. But I
saw China at a meeting, a meeting, one of those meetings, yes,
And I walked at her. She's sitting by herself. I go,
you know, you should you should see Uh, you should
meet my brother Billy one day. So she's like, why
is this guy like thing? I should meet his brother?
They like the kis was there and then the rest

(04:52):
is history, which is amazing.

Speaker 4 (04:53):
Last time I saw Billy was at a Lakers event
and we were just catching up and he looked at me, go,
do you remember when we were cool.

Speaker 1 (05:06):
Back in the day, Back in the day.

Speaker 4 (05:10):
He said he was like in his minivan the one
day and he looked over there some cute girls and
he's like, and he remembered he was in a mini fan.
Do you remember when we were cool and Chad Lowe
was there to hees, my brother still thinks he's cool, right,
uh huh. But how funny is that?

Speaker 3 (05:27):
Remember we were.

Speaker 1 (05:28):
So here's what I wanted to share with you. Yes,
which was the origin of this show. Let me let
me work my way into this conversation, because.

Speaker 4 (05:38):
It's tell me what are we rolling on all of this?

Speaker 3 (05:40):
Yeah, we're just right. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (05:41):
And then we just edits as we got it. And
then I ask you, what is your one bad movie?

Speaker 3 (05:50):
Oh? There's so many.

Speaker 1 (05:52):
The hysterical thing about what you just said is more
people than you think saying what you just said.

Speaker 3 (05:57):
You know, they prepared with a list, but the not like.

Speaker 1 (06:01):
You, Melly mal No, like you, girl, you got a list.
But I was listening to an interview driving in my car,
listening to an actor talking about one of the latest films,
and it was the same interview, like and I've been there,
You've been there. You know, when you talk about a show,
when you talk about your career, when you about you
have to be so repetitive, and I'm sitting here going, Wow,

(06:22):
wouldn't it be refreshing if this guy talked about one
of his movies that sucked. I just said that to
myself and I went, because everybody, every actor has at
least one bad movie. It was weird Meliss because like,
all of a sudden, I called it.

Speaker 3 (06:32):
Say it now.

Speaker 1 (06:34):
I was in the car thinking that to me the.

Speaker 4 (06:37):
Actor, did they ever ask that question?

Speaker 3 (06:39):
No, that's a bummer.

Speaker 4 (06:41):
You got the idea for this.

Speaker 1 (06:42):
I got the idea thinking what if you interviewed actors
about their bad films? Which is upside down? Really it's fun,
but it is it's the potential to be funny. Is
that I didn't think it was gonna work, honestly, and
I usually you'll call johnn and go, I have a
great eye idea, and he's like, here's thirteen reasons why

(07:02):
it's going to be difficult. This one I called him.
I went, I think this is stupid and I don't
think it works, which I rarely say. I go, one
bad movie?

Speaker 3 (07:10):
Did it?

Speaker 1 (07:10):
And a sudden I go, it's stupid, right, and he goes,
it's actually, you know, if I put some metrics to
it that I understand is.

Speaker 4 (07:18):
That's actually really good.

Speaker 3 (07:19):
Here we are, here, we are.

Speaker 1 (07:21):
Let's welcome to one bad movie.

Speaker 4 (07:24):
Love this. Now I've came prepared with a list, Okay, okay,
but then well and then I'll tell you the ultimate one.
I'm just getting your opinion on the one.

Speaker 3 (07:33):
Now, this is your list of bad movies. Okay, go
and mostly.

Speaker 1 (07:37):
Fun bad meaning bad or bad meaning good.

Speaker 4 (07:40):
Bad meaning meaning good bad movie like like we're just like,
oh my god, like you can't look away.

Speaker 1 (07:49):
Yeah, okay, So it's your favorite kind of you know,
a secret you know kind of.

Speaker 4 (07:55):
Return to the Blue Lagoon.

Speaker 1 (07:57):
Wow, that's a great example.

Speaker 4 (08:00):
Okay, Staying Alive.

Speaker 1 (08:03):
The first one, that's the sequel, Yes, oh I.

Speaker 4 (08:05):
Love this, Battlefield Earth, Show Girls of course, recently Bonaparte.

Speaker 3 (08:15):
Wow.

Speaker 4 (08:17):
Then uh, Star Wars, Phantom Menace okay, And I was
at a screening for that, and you had to be like.

Speaker 3 (08:24):
Yah, so what'd you think Melissa Howard the Duck? Wow?

Speaker 4 (08:29):
Okay, Now my favorite bad movie, Mommy darist.

Speaker 3 (08:37):
Okay.

Speaker 4 (08:38):
And then I went and looked at some of the
great quotes Christina, bring me the acts, don't fuck with
me fellas right, Nobody ever said life was fair, Tina,
I'm bigger and faster and will always beat you. Uh.
When they're having a fight and the daughter turns around

(08:58):
and she's saying, well, you can't even treat me as
well as some random fan on the street. And she
turns around and says, because I'm not one of your fans,
you know, And then the classic no wire hangers.

Speaker 1 (09:14):
But if you don't say the classic, lay it on me, Melissa.

Speaker 4 (09:19):
No wire hangers, that's the Christina.

Speaker 3 (09:24):
Bring me the axe.

Speaker 1 (09:26):
That's brilliant.

Speaker 3 (09:27):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (09:28):
But now if we were to break down your list, okay,
I just want to know.

Speaker 3 (09:34):
I'm shifting gears for a second.

Speaker 1 (09:35):
So your mom must have had some opinions in this life,
in this world, was there ever a noire?

Speaker 3 (09:45):
Was there no?

Speaker 4 (09:47):
No, There was never a no wire Hangers? There was
God damn it, Melissa, God damn it, Melissa. And you know,
my poor father to have two strong willed women.

Speaker 3 (10:01):
Oh yeah, And it's interesting.

Speaker 4 (10:04):
He wasn't a big yeller. And my mom knew this too,
and I knew this too. At one point he would
just go enough, and my mother always knew right, shut
up then, and I knew that too. He would listen
and listen and argue or whatever, and then at one
point he would say enough, and we're like, okay.

Speaker 1 (10:26):
Okay, I want to share with our audience how unqualified
I am to host this show because you showed up here.
Thank you again, You're welcome. And we started chatting and
again I remembered, but I didn't remember because we talked
about movies here. But I worked on Celebrity Apprentice two seasons.

(10:47):
I was one of the few Celebrity Apprentice contestants invited
back for the All Stars.

Speaker 4 (10:52):
I wasn't invited back for the All Stars.

Speaker 1 (10:54):
Yeah, I was invited back for All Stars, which is
probably just more of a sign of like, how smart
are you are?

Speaker 4 (11:00):
Fact that you did it. I was just like I
unfortunately I have to for someone I love in a door.
And as I said earlier, we've known each other so long.
It was before you found God and I found Xanax.
That's that's a long time.

Speaker 1 (11:17):
And as long as they're both still working, babe, But helluah.

Speaker 4 (11:20):
Yes, hellujah, they're both. They're both still working and active
in our lives. Both are very active, and we look
forward to spending time with both. Right you know, we
still have a lot in common.

Speaker 1 (11:37):
We're going to start a Bible study here any minute, Melissa,
to keep this.

Speaker 4 (11:40):
Up, Xanna. And then if I really want to party,
xanax and a glass of white wine or red if
it's winter, some rose in summer.

Speaker 1 (11:51):
And then do you just read a good book?

Speaker 2 (11:53):
No?

Speaker 4 (11:53):
I watched TV. I watched bad TV. I watched True Crime,
and I watch Below Deck. Those are my two things
true and I watched Forensic Files and just go God, those.

Speaker 3 (12:07):
People are stupid. Melissa's guilty pleasure.

Speaker 4 (12:10):
Oh but my real guilty pleasure. This is a new
One family feud.

Speaker 3 (12:15):
Wow, if you knew the one now.

Speaker 4 (12:18):
Yes with Steve Harvey. Okay, it's so you're gonna watch
it now you have to because you will just sit
and laugh your ass off. Seriously, It's as good as
like Forensic Files.

Speaker 3 (12:33):
For me, I love it.

Speaker 4 (12:35):
The answers are just staggering. One of the questions is
what would you find in your pockets? And one guy
goes nothing and it was on the.

Speaker 1 (12:48):
Board, which stupefied you completely completely. I don't want to
forget that I cameoed on your season of Celebrity Apprentice
with your mom.

Speaker 4 (13:02):
At the Regency Hotel, so.

Speaker 1 (13:04):
You have just I want you to start talking to
the second but I just want you. I just want
to tee this up with I'm not you know, I
met you guys multiple times. I think you've guys even
went to stuff for my mom's charity. Yes, Joan did
stuff for my mom's charity. So I just remember when
I was younger, knowing Joan from you know, just being
an icon singer everywhere when I was a kid. So

(13:27):
the opportunity to say hi, I meet you know, the
chance the times I had met her in life were
oh hi, oh yeah, you're the youngest one, you know
what I mean. And every time I start after that
was like which one of you? You know what I mean?

Speaker 3 (13:38):
It was.

Speaker 1 (13:40):
But hanging on Apprentice was I got to actually inter
interact with I'm like, oh my god, I'm go to
work with Joan. It was like and now you take
it from there.

Speaker 3 (13:49):
Okay.

Speaker 4 (13:49):
So we were supposed to run the Regency Hotel and
my mother was the quote unquote concierge, right, and they
put you in some huge suite and you had to
be difficult and complain.

Speaker 3 (14:05):
Yes, right, that was my role, that was your role.

Speaker 4 (14:08):
But I remember also out of here I kept going
up to where you weren't hiding during parts of it,
because I was like, stands here, what the f? You know,
like you do when you see people you've known forever,
but you had to be intentionally difficult. And I remember
at the end you were just dying, and I remember
you two hugging each other, cracking up.

Speaker 1 (14:29):
That's my point was here I am. It's a produced show,
so they plant me in this room and now I
just have to start calling down to the concierge. Imagine
walking my shoe on this one. I'm going, what can
I What do I say? How do I improv this?
What do I say to Jones? I'll ask for something,
something's late, I'll make something up. I'll just be Stephen
the cuckoo bird whatever. But to see her or hear

(14:53):
her reactions because she has to it. It's the regency.
She's being judged on her performance. Yes, yes, mister, answered
mister Baldword, and I'm going, yes, Hi, how are you?
What's your nimeagains She's like, oh, this is John, mister Baldwin.

Speaker 3 (15:06):
How can I have.

Speaker 2 (15:10):
You?

Speaker 4 (15:10):
You got to you got a glass and improv on
that one? From my mom who was Second City was
so so to have an actor to work with made
it even more fun for her to be able to
play like calling you, mister Baldwin. It gave her someone
to play with, if you know what.

Speaker 3 (15:30):
I mean, You know what I mean, so much fun.

Speaker 4 (15:34):
I like to think of us as those of us
who did Apprentice as survivors. We survive, sure, Celebrity apprentce.
You always say what was the hardest show you ever did?
And I did the Celebrity Get Me out of Here
when it was actually like in the jungle, not like
like we had to do like real jungle stuff, and

(15:55):
everyone says, was that the hardest? I'm like, no, absolutely,
the Apprentice was the hardest show. Because people don't realize
is you work six days a week for the women
we're in here in makeup at like five in the morning.
You get one day off a week, and they shoot
a whole episode a day and a half.

Speaker 3 (16:11):
It is exhausting.

Speaker 4 (16:14):
Didn't you think that even though.

Speaker 3 (16:16):
You can get it's working trump, Yeah.

Speaker 4 (16:19):
But didn't you find the show exhausting? Well?

Speaker 1 (16:21):
Yeah, it was just exhausting because of the production time
thanks itself.

Speaker 4 (16:25):
Well, and you have to actually think.

Speaker 1 (16:28):
Yeah, and then you have like people trying to subvert
what you're doing.

Speaker 4 (16:36):
Speaking of subverting, have you watched Traders?

Speaker 3 (16:39):
No? Tell me?

Speaker 4 (16:40):
Okay, So there's the US version, the UK version, and
the Australia version. Yeah, it's one of those shows. So
the US one, Alan Comedy's hosts, Oh, it's so good.

Speaker 1 (16:53):
You did a picture together.

Speaker 3 (16:54):
You did a picture.

Speaker 1 (16:55):
Yeah, we did the Flintstones, beaver Rock, Vegas.

Speaker 4 (16:58):
Thank you, thank you, Joan. We made a picture together.

Speaker 3 (17:02):
Reading a picture.

Speaker 1 (17:05):
It's true.

Speaker 3 (17:06):
So tell me tell me something. He hosts.

Speaker 4 (17:08):
So he hosts, and it's basically Survivor but not physical.
So they have all these people they use only reality people.
In the US one, the UK and the Australia they
use real people, which because so they come in, they
sit around a table. I think there's like twenty people
and the host Alan in this particular, and they come

(17:29):
around and they tap three people on the shoulder. There
are the traders. Oh, everyone else is called the faithful
and the thing is to root out the traders. And
you see all the size. Now the traders get to
kill someone every night. And so you're.

Speaker 3 (17:47):
Watching a faithful person, yes, because.

Speaker 4 (17:50):
Said not really, but you go at the end if
there's one trader left.

Speaker 1 (17:57):
Even some of the faithful deserve an ending games they do.

Speaker 4 (18:01):
Alan Coming going.

Speaker 3 (18:03):
I'm so sad.

Speaker 4 (18:05):
So at the end, if there's one trader left, they
win all the money. If it's faithful left, they split
the money.

Speaker 1 (18:14):
Oh wow, So can there be one faithful left?

Speaker 4 (18:17):
Or there's yes, there can be one faithful left and
two traders left. I saw one episode when when one.

Speaker 1 (18:23):
James call Alan coming immediately.

Speaker 4 (18:26):
But watch the UK one and the Australian one because
it's real people thrown in with like one or two
reality people right, and it's it's literally I binge watched
all of them and cannot wait for the next season
to come out because you get to see how everybody's
game playing. So you're watching the team and be like, oh, no,

(18:48):
bad idea, bad idea, bad idea, or I can't believe
they just did that. Or when you see two traders
turn on each other in the oh and they eliminate someone,
the whole group eliminates someone every night, so then you
start to see traders trying to eliminate other traders. Oh
it's so good.

Speaker 1 (19:03):
My oldest daughter who's thirty, and you are behaving exactly.

Speaker 4 (19:09):
That immature.

Speaker 1 (19:13):
How about these shows you are God bless your Yeah. No,
but it's just I'll go see my granddaughter. I'll go
see them and I'll they watch all of this. They
watch all these different shows.

Speaker 4 (19:25):
We become completely hooked on Traders.

Speaker 3 (19:30):
Okay, check, and.

Speaker 4 (19:32):
You can start with the UK version okay, and the
Australia version. There's you've got multiple sitations.

Speaker 1 (19:37):
Send me all of it, Melissa.

Speaker 4 (19:38):
I will send you all of it. And it's Alan.
It's Alan and all of his glory. He's wearing kilts
and hats and like you know, just playing right, and
it takes place in a Scottish castle.

Speaker 1 (19:49):
I want to team up with Melissa and do Traders.

Speaker 4 (19:52):
Oh my god, we would laugh out. I would love
to do that because then we can make an alliance.
But then one of us, but one of us could
be a trader, and then one of us would have
to kill each other at the same point. There's a
lot your mouth. It's every man from It's okay, don't
with bel Air.

Speaker 3 (20:16):
I might have lived on the mean streets of bel Air, baby.

Speaker 4 (20:18):
Mean streets of bel Air. Hey, but I did spend
time in West Philadelphia.

Speaker 3 (20:22):
I was just gonna say we're in l A. And
it's actually it's like it's like it's becoming the mean streets.

Speaker 4 (20:26):
But I spent four years in West Philadelphia.

Speaker 3 (20:29):
Okay, so you know, speedy.

Speaker 1 (20:31):
Let me just say the only respectfully, your mama was
your mama, which means you go up knowing a few things.

Speaker 3 (20:39):
It's all.

Speaker 4 (20:40):
I was never I was never tender flower, and my
son is not a snowflake.

Speaker 1 (20:46):
How many so this is a great question. Tell me
when Joan told you ever about like maybe a guy
that wasn't right for you.

Speaker 4 (20:56):
She was actually very good about that. She would tell
me if she thought she had concerns, but she always said,
you make up your own mind. No, not even that
you and we know this, especially like at our long
toothed stage, you have to be careful when someone breaks
up for a while because if you bad mouth the

(21:18):
person and then they go back like it's a problem. Right,
So she would I she was very, always, very careful
about that till it was over, and then she would
rip someone apart.

Speaker 3 (21:31):
No really, yes, so shocking.

Speaker 4 (21:34):
But she was always very good about that. She was
a very.

Speaker 3 (21:39):
Understand My question.

Speaker 1 (21:40):
My question is more like if you were at a
party and you met a guy who bought you a drink.
Would she ever come over and go like, no, tell
tell Phil, you know, to call it cab.

Speaker 4 (21:51):
No, she would have said what does he do? And
what color American Express card does he have? She was
the first one to hor me out. She was the first.
So she set me up on a date once with
this very very wealthy man. And she had met him
at a dinner party and lovely lovely, and we chatted

(22:11):
on the phone, lovely lovely on the house and asked,
been like all the right things. And we get he
comes out to La and we decide to meet for
coffee at the It was at the Four Seasons, right,
and I walk in, I see him and he stands
up and he's like maybe five foot five one And

(22:36):
I'm no giant, but you were taller than yes, and
he would He was sitting in the chair and his
little toes were kind of you. And I told her,
I'm like, what is wrong with you? And she says
to me, are you kidding me? I never saw him
standing up. I was just seated next one at a
dinner party.

Speaker 1 (22:57):
That's a tour.

Speaker 3 (22:58):
I never saw him standing Yeah, how about that?

Speaker 4 (23:01):
My gosh, I never saw him standing.

Speaker 1 (23:06):
That's funny. Yeah, Now, how what did you do?

Speaker 4 (23:09):
Did you did you have coffee? What am I going
to do?

Speaker 1 (23:13):
I am Was he nice?

Speaker 3 (23:14):
Yes? He was lovely so just and by the way
slighted him. No, because of his slate.

Speaker 4 (23:22):
You know, you had to scri because he could have
also been the tallest man in the room standing on
his wallet. Hello, exactly.

Speaker 3 (23:29):
But no, so you chatted him. I chatted and that
while it wasn't tall enough, was it?

Speaker 4 (23:34):
No, No, it wasn't. It wasn't. Look at this one
over there. You remember that one, Sabrina.

Speaker 3 (23:46):
You're so funny.

Speaker 4 (23:48):
Oh it was.

Speaker 1 (23:50):
Yeah, Okay, I want to shift gears.

Speaker 3 (23:51):
Okay, shift because you've been on a few red carpets. Yes,
you have been.

Speaker 1 (23:58):
Amazingly uh gifted and having fun in your career on
programs with that title.

Speaker 3 (24:07):
Yes, so.

Speaker 1 (24:10):
I think that's I can't get over that story.

Speaker 3 (24:12):
Just told me.

Speaker 1 (24:12):
Now I'm trying to get it out of my brain
so I can keep talking. I'm imagining it all with
your mother.

Speaker 4 (24:19):
There was one where these two women that my mother
at the time did not realize, No, she knew they
were lesbians, and they said to her, we have the
perfect guy for Melissa, and so my mom kind of
vetted him and he was a doctor, he was handsome
and all this. So my mom called him and said,
I have to set you up. I have to set

(24:40):
you up. And he's like, okay, well find a time
when Melissa's in New York. And my mom's like, you know,
my mom kept pushing and pushing, and finally she goes,
he goes, Joe, yes, I'm gay.

Speaker 3 (24:53):
Like stop and was her thought like, we'll work around that.
Her thought was we'll get around the figure it out.

Speaker 4 (25:03):
Was like, of course the good looking doctor is gay.

Speaker 1 (25:08):
Well this is what's you know?

Speaker 4 (25:10):
How about that? Just like and trying to shove me
down someone's throng.

Speaker 1 (25:12):
But her black and white thinking is so funny. It
makes sense that she wouldn't have thought that coming from
that source.

Speaker 4 (25:21):
What she really was like. But I also grew up
in a world where.

Speaker 3 (25:24):
Like, it's another it didn't matter.

Speaker 1 (25:26):
I didn't see him.

Speaker 4 (25:27):
Standing up, but to her, it didn't even didn't even
cross her mind, you know what I mean? My mother
was just not that person, like you know, it's she's like,
oh you.

Speaker 1 (25:38):
Know what, what what do you call your position on
all the stuff?

Speaker 3 (25:41):
You were host, Yeah, the right carpet.

Speaker 4 (25:43):
We we we turned walking into a building into an event.

Speaker 1 (25:48):
Expand on that. I want if I'm totally ignorant, to
help me understand.

Speaker 4 (25:52):
I started everybody in the oldie days. People would go
to these award shows and there would be pictures on
the red carpet and there'd be one or two interviews,
and god, I'm blanking on his name? Who used to
host the red carpets for the shows?

Speaker 3 (26:07):
You know?

Speaker 4 (26:08):
No, not mister Blackwell. He was with Variety or Hollywood Reporter.
You know who I'm talking about.

Speaker 1 (26:14):
Yes, yes, yes, I think so.

Speaker 4 (26:15):
Oh god, I'm yes what I can see his face? Anyway,
that was really the only thing anyone did. And at
E they thought this might be interesting to you know,
do we're already on the red carpet doing interviews? What
if we?

Speaker 3 (26:31):
And what year was this around the Red carpets?

Speaker 4 (26:34):
Our first official Red carpet together was ninety six.

Speaker 3 (26:41):
And we don't childre him. But what's cool is you
guys were the catalyst for like a whole switch for
Red carpet channels almost.

Speaker 4 (26:50):
Came out and everyone was trying to find their Joan
and Melissa or their team. What people didn't understand was
our relationship professionally and was so different than it was
personally with me. Well maybe not, but in a lot
of ways I was. But I could say to my mom,
you're ridiculous or I can't believe you just said that,
and she could, you know, and I could roll my

(27:12):
eyes and she could, you know, make jokes about me
that only a mother and daughter could make. And that
part of it was, you know, the interviews and all
that part of her humor. But also people responded to
the relationship and that's what was made it magic, right,
And it was also we were the first ones doing it.

(27:35):
We were the very first ones doing it and doing
it live and you know, now everybody does. But I
have to say, and this is not like patting myself
on the back.

Speaker 1 (27:46):
You can patch yourself on the back.

Speaker 4 (27:48):
No, my arms aren't long enough.

Speaker 3 (27:54):
It's the X. It's X. It's okay.

Speaker 4 (27:59):
The plane you walked into that that was like, could
you have thrown me a softball so I could just
knock it out?

Speaker 3 (28:07):
Welcome to one.

Speaker 4 (28:08):
Sorry, aren't you glad when you have old friends on?

Speaker 1 (28:13):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (28:13):
Exactly.

Speaker 4 (28:14):
You set yourself up by inviting me.

Speaker 3 (28:15):
It's better this way. Yes, it's just not fun anymore.

Speaker 1 (28:22):
Mmm.

Speaker 4 (28:23):
I mean, it's just no one's allowed to be fun,
No one's allowed to have fun, no one's allowed to
say anything. We're living in this culture of fear. And
right at the end when we stopped doing the red carpets,
it was becoming that where it was.

Speaker 3 (28:39):
With the public, like it was more politicized.

Speaker 4 (28:41):
Well, but also we would say something on Fashion Police
and then the publisher would be like, you were mean
to this client or you didn't like what that client
was wearing, so you don't get to talk to this client.

Speaker 1 (28:52):
And it just became but that pays forward into how
the episodes are going to be in the future and
how that vibe is going to be in.

Speaker 4 (28:57):
The future, and it just you know, people say, we're
people mad about what you said on Fashion Police, and
we're like, what my answer always was, when you're making
twenty million dollars a movie or as you would say,
a picture and getting all your clothes for free, and
we don't like one of your dresses that's probably worth

(29:18):
ten thousand dollars because it was made for you, you
need to take a deep breath. And also I'm always
like with actors and everyone, especially now with everybody and
just being so intellectually arrogant, which I hate in people.
You want to say, first of all, none of us

(29:40):
are queueing carrying cancer or doing brain surgery, because if
we could, that's.

Speaker 3 (29:47):
What we would be doing.

Speaker 1 (29:47):
Right, You're absolutely right, you know.

Speaker 4 (29:50):
And now everyone is very you know, at that time
on the carpet at the end, we started seeing a
lot of intellectual arrogance, if that makes.

Speaker 1 (29:57):
Sense, And then it just wasn't fun anymore.

Speaker 4 (29:58):
No, don't talk down to me. Don't by the way,
don't force me to flex my education, right, because you're
not going to be funny. Oh sure, it's like, don't
force me into a corner, because I will absolutely, I mean.

Speaker 1 (30:11):
I will put you in check mate.

Speaker 4 (30:13):
Yeah, you know, but go ahead, and I'll do it
while I'm smiling and asking you who made your shoes?

Speaker 3 (30:19):
That's good.

Speaker 4 (30:20):
My son has those.

Speaker 3 (30:22):
These are dope.

Speaker 4 (30:22):
These are Tiva's, that's what Cooper has, the north Face version.

Speaker 1 (30:26):
These are the Sandal Tiva. These are just I don't
even have a deal with them. I buy this stuff
because it's just so fabulous.

Speaker 4 (30:36):
Yeah, well my son has the north Face version.

Speaker 1 (30:38):
Yeah, the North face are dope.

Speaker 4 (30:40):
I don't get sponsored whip.

Speaker 3 (30:41):
I sound like your son.

Speaker 4 (30:44):
No, you're actually using words I understand.

Speaker 3 (30:46):
Okay, all right, here's my question.

Speaker 1 (30:49):
The next one. At any point during the whole red
carpet stuff, was there, like, because I always you talked
about how it inevitably just you know, eroded however you know,
but there there must have been a majority of that
must have been good times and fun and you and
your mom and all that. Was there any significant like

(31:12):
was there one celebrity actor whoever? Was there any one
person you met that you lost like you just fangirled
like an actress an actor?

Speaker 4 (31:23):
So the one of the times? Okay, first of all,
because you know there's hedges and all that. So I
would have to stand on like a quarter apple, right,
and when certain actors who were on the shorter side
was out of respect, I would step stop off.

Speaker 3 (31:40):
That's so funny, just to be respectful.

Speaker 1 (31:44):
Right.

Speaker 4 (31:45):
So one time I was working with Todd Newton. I
don't remember Todd. He was one of the people and
we were live at the SAG Awards before the SAG
Awards were a big deal. We were the first ones
there live and we see Tom Cruise coming and they're like, oh,
he is going to actually stop and talk to you.
I'm like okay, And we see him coming in and
I'm sitting like this with Todd or standing with Todd,

(32:05):
and we're sort of just buying time till he walks
up and to the chat chat chat. And with Todd
he was he's six ' two, so I really had
to stand on a box because otherwise once was out
of frame, and all of a sudden, I feel an
arm slip around my waist and I turn around. Now
mind you, it's because I'm on my box, but he
would have been one I stepped off for and I

(32:27):
am eyeball to eyeball with Tom Cruise, like literally, and
here's what I came up with. Ready, Hi, do you
do that?

Speaker 3 (32:41):
Hi?

Speaker 4 (32:42):
Because like him or hate him or whatever, he has
so much charisma, absolutely, and he's not a tall man,
so I would always step off my box. But when
I was standing on the box, literally, you know, it's
so crushed in there, and I had met him with
that and times it wasn't like that, but literally, like
he was like this far away from my face and

(33:05):
you turn around and you just go literally, that is
what I came up with Hi.

Speaker 1 (33:10):
I have a similar story about Ryan Gosling.

Speaker 4 (33:13):
You looked into his eyes and just said Hi.

Speaker 3 (33:14):
No.

Speaker 1 (33:15):
What happened was because I have two daughters and I
you know, when they were growing up, you know, the
notebook and all that, right, and they were fans of his.
And I'm an actor, you know whatever. So if I
see this guy somewhere, I'll say hello, whatever, right, So jokingly,
my kids had met many famous people in the last
thirty years. Occasionally here there in some situations they were

(33:37):
like Dad, you really know that personally wow, like whatever,
But I had never met Ryan Gosling, and my kids
were the kind of My kids are the kind of
kids that if I were to meet Ryan Gosling, I
would have to, you know, be cool, you know, like,
don't don't screw up.

Speaker 3 (33:51):
I get that a lot. Mom stopped.

Speaker 1 (33:52):
I'm online on a red carpet and someone just walks
behind me and leap frogs me to go to the
next interview. Is normal, right, So I'm just talking to
this interviewer like this, and I turn and it's Ryan
Gosling six or eight feet away from me. So now
now I'm like, whatever you do here, don't do something

(34:14):
so that he sees it's you don't even.

Speaker 3 (34:17):
Like say hi to him.

Speaker 4 (34:19):
I can't.

Speaker 3 (34:19):
I can't.

Speaker 4 (34:19):
I can't.

Speaker 1 (34:20):
So I'm talking like this and I'm kind of like
going like that once in a while. And on the
third or fourth turn to see what he's doing on
my eyeballs, Ryan gostly staring at me and goes, hey, man,
how's it going like that? He says to me like hey,
like it's you.

Speaker 4 (34:37):
Yeah, Like dude, what's up?

Speaker 1 (34:38):
And I don't mean to do but like like like
a kid, like a pre before puberty, little kid.

Speaker 3 (34:44):
I don't mean.

Speaker 1 (34:45):
I'm so startled. He's saying hi to me, and I'm
going in my head if that moment came, don't screw
it up, don't you? And I literally turned and I go, hey, sir,
in that pitch, it's online. Listen not only my children,
my nieces, my nephews, my every every generation below me

(35:11):
now is like, hey, sir, you see me a family
rings going.

Speaker 3 (35:15):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (35:15):
It was smooth brow, very funny guy.

Speaker 4 (35:20):
When I met Peyton Manning, oh, I came up with
I'm you when I play Madden.

Speaker 3 (35:31):
That's so funny. Now what was that? Did you like him?

Speaker 4 (35:37):
What's not to like, he's Peyton Manning. And then the
next day it was a two day event. I did
it again. I went up to like say like, hey, sorry,
like I was a little bit fangirl and I can,
but like, I just dug myself into such a big
hole that another person who was at the event, an actor,
came and like put who I know put his hands

(35:58):
on my shoulders big money.

Speaker 1 (36:01):
Really do you get tongue tied like that when you're
get in situations very not like your mom.

Speaker 4 (36:09):
No, but I think my mom would get tongue tied.
There were certain people that would tongue tire.

Speaker 1 (36:13):
That's funny.

Speaker 4 (36:14):
But oh but we all do.

Speaker 3 (36:17):
Well, you sure we What's funny is what those moments are.

Speaker 4 (36:21):
By the way, the Notebook now makes sense for the
ginormous wedding that you had to pay for that everyone
kept saying, oh, it's like the Notebook. We screened the Notebook.
It's where the Notebook was filmed. Yeah, all the pieces
now fall into place. Because I was like, wow, she.

Speaker 3 (36:36):
Really was like that movie.

Speaker 1 (36:37):
It all comes full circle.

Speaker 4 (36:38):
It does like it was beautiful. I just got engaged.

Speaker 3 (36:47):
Can we talk about of course, who's the.

Speaker 4 (36:53):
I like the shock you.

Speaker 1 (36:56):
No, no, not like that, honey, what's the what on
this microphone?

Speaker 3 (37:02):
Now?

Speaker 1 (37:02):
What did I say when I saw you at the
top of the stairs. I said, you looked amazed.

Speaker 4 (37:08):
She has nothing to do.

Speaker 1 (37:09):
I am not surprised you're getting married. I I just
want to know who was the little pork chop that
you've decided to spend the rest of your life with,
is what I want to know.

Speaker 3 (37:18):
Thank you?

Speaker 1 (37:19):
Okay, and then made him think he's the one that's
make calling all the shots.

Speaker 3 (37:23):
Please continu okay, please continue.

Speaker 4 (37:26):
So I have been very, very vocal that I would
never get married again, Like in every interview it comes up,
will you really.

Speaker 3 (37:34):
Never go ahead? And well that's so sweet?

Speaker 4 (37:39):
Not really, it's I kind of meant it. Sorry, Can
I take my trick? Yeah, it isn't really, it's you
know it was. I was very clear that I would
never do that again. Now, mind you, I've been divorced
for twenty two years. Oh wow, and I've lived with
two other people along the way, and apparently I can't
really make it past three and a half years. That

(37:59):
seemed to be my shelf life. I also had a
consistently really bad picker really like if I if I
thought I could fix you, you are the one for
me because I can fix you.

Speaker 3 (38:14):
I have that power.

Speaker 1 (38:15):
You got to clean up that puppy dog.

Speaker 4 (38:16):
I you know I can fix you.

Speaker 3 (38:19):
I'm that sure.

Speaker 4 (38:21):
And I had really come to a place in my
life where I was just like, you know what, I'm
making peace where it's just going to be me, Like
I have to make peace with that, and I'm good
with that, and just it is.

Speaker 3 (38:30):
What when's the.

Speaker 1 (38:31):
Last time your fiance said you're hot?

Speaker 3 (38:36):
Right? Stop?

Speaker 1 (38:37):
So you tell him?

Speaker 4 (38:38):
I said you're hot, by the way, I only thinking
because like at least every other day. He's like, I'm
so lucky. I'm like, you're lucky. I didn't smother in
your sleep. So yeah, you're right, You're right. You are lucky,
my friend. You are very lucky. I did not you
woke up. I did not kill you. And so we
met and where in SANTAMAI We met in an event

(39:02):
and he actually came up to me.

Speaker 3 (39:04):
What business is he?

Speaker 4 (39:05):
He's a lawyer, which is better than an agent.

Speaker 1 (39:09):
But he's got to be cute.

Speaker 4 (39:10):
He's handsome, he's sixty three, he's very distinguished looking.

Speaker 1 (39:16):
Is he athletic.

Speaker 4 (39:17):
No, but he used to be right now he's just you.

Speaker 1 (39:20):
Know, now he's a marathon runner.

Speaker 4 (39:24):
Emotionally, he's a marathon runer, and he you know, and
he knew who I was, and I was very impresed
that he actually came up to me, a total stranger
at yes, and we chatted and then he was cute
and charming and were.

Speaker 1 (39:40):
You tongue died? No, okay, he was just cute and charming.

Speaker 4 (39:43):
He said, would you like to have dinner? And I said, well,
how about just a drink? And he goes, I'm sober
fourteen years. I'm like, okay, coffee. Oh, and he's like, no,
let's like, let's have dinner, and so oh I for
some reason.

Speaker 3 (40:01):
Saying he wanted to let you have your drink exactly.

Speaker 4 (40:05):
I said okay, and I pulled up to dinner and
where we had dinner, which you know, Cafe Delphini. Okay,
the Cafe Delphini. And for some reason, their valet had
not shown up, so I had to make a U
turn and park across the street with a another restaurant.
But when I was pulling up, I was like, oh,
he looks nice. He looks nice. He looks like, oh

(40:25):
my god, those might be the worst shoes I've ever seen,
like really bad, bad, bad shoes. But I made the
U turn and he was been waiting outside the restaurant
and he came across the street to walk me back.
I was like okay, and then we had a very
nice time and then he's like we were like, let's
do this again. And I don't know why I said yes,

(40:45):
because I'm really still haunted by those shoes. And then
I went out a second time and we started chatting
and he asked me out again the third time, and
I'm like, again, I don't know why I said.

Speaker 3 (40:58):
Yes, But you hadn't kissed him.

Speaker 4 (41:00):
Oh no, I was bobbing and we even trying to
get away, like you know.

Speaker 3 (41:05):
I was like, really like the shoes were working.

Speaker 4 (41:07):
Then yeah, I was literally like He's like it was
like trying to hit a moving target.

Speaker 3 (41:11):
That's a durable I was like, oh no, he's sixty three.

Speaker 4 (41:15):
He was sixty one. Then still yeah, and it was
like like literally, and so then I said, yes, I'll
go out a fourth time. And I was like okay,
I said to my best friend, I'm like I'm going
to have to kiss him at this point like I
can't keep because it wasn't like but it was like
it just kind of grew on both of us. I
don't think either of us really were like, oh my

(41:37):
god r And it was like next thing you knew.
You know, we were seeing each other twice a week,
three times a week, and suddenly it was a relationship.
It was so easy. It was organic, very organic, very easy.

Speaker 3 (41:50):
Well, you waited for the right one.

Speaker 4 (41:52):
And but you know what the key is?

Speaker 3 (41:54):
We fight?

Speaker 4 (41:55):
Well, no, it's true. We have really good conflict resolution, right,
and that is such a big part of a relationship
is being able to resolve content, you know, conflict. Granted,
I just say you're wrong and walk out the door.
He's also learned to just say that I'm right and
stop fighting with me.

Speaker 1 (42:12):
But you're blessed that he's equal to you intellectually. As
far as your ability.

Speaker 3 (42:18):
To communicate, that's a lot of it.

Speaker 1 (42:21):
That's hard. So now the only reason I'm still with
my wife is that reason.

Speaker 4 (42:24):
But you have to be able to have got good
conflict resolution.

Speaker 3 (42:28):
That and she's so freaking the sorry, I.

Speaker 4 (42:32):
Mean, I think he thinks he'll help. He'll tell people
that follow he'll tell people like he just is like,
I'm so lucky, Like you're funny.

Speaker 3 (42:41):
Walked across the street, he opens doors.

Speaker 4 (42:44):
He holds completely.

Speaker 1 (42:46):
But that's what you wanted.

Speaker 3 (42:49):
If he treats me like a lady. He treats me great.

Speaker 4 (42:54):
He treats me great. And a nice thing is I
maybe I am not bringing out the best in him
in the sense of.

Speaker 1 (43:00):
Now says, don't worry, Melissa, you will No.

Speaker 4 (43:05):
What I'm saying is he now sends me stuff and
says things that he never would have said two years ago.
Oh that are funny, cool, Like he's gotten up. But
so accidentally we got engaged on Friday the thirteenth.

Speaker 3 (43:18):
Oh that's funny.

Speaker 4 (43:20):
And he woke up that morning and said, do you
have any superstitions about Friday the thirteenth. I'm like no.
And then we picked the date of our wedding and
it's March fifteenth, which is the IDEs of March.

Speaker 1 (43:34):
It sounds he's great that the way you're setting it
all up, you're destined for great and there's nowhere else
else to gove it up.

Speaker 4 (43:43):
And we just keep saying and neither of I've ever
had a relationship that was.

Speaker 3 (43:47):
Just so easy.

Speaker 1 (43:49):
But that's what I'm hearing. That's what's really sweet.

Speaker 3 (43:50):
So easy. It just I never worry where he is.

Speaker 4 (43:56):
He never worries where I am. If you say you're
going to show up, you show up. If you say
you're comfortable, it's great. Like, you know, we have a dinner.
Someone asked if we wanted to dinner on the eleventh,
and I'm like, let me check. So I texted and
I ask. I said, we're having dinner with so and
so on the eleventh, and he wrote back on my calendar. Right,

(44:16):
So I don't have to feel like he's an adult. Right,
he's an adult.

Speaker 3 (44:22):
He'll figure it out well.

Speaker 4 (44:23):
But which is good because it allows me to be
a complete and total child, which is my shallow happy place.
We always say I can do.

Speaker 1 (44:32):
That's where the lawyer part in him is good to have.

Speaker 4 (44:34):
Yeah, you know, he'll just we always say I can
be absolutely like the deepest human being alive. But I'm
happy walking around the shallow end with a cocktail right on.
I like to hang out. I go deep enough and
emotional enough.

Speaker 3 (44:47):
I'm blast because my wife said to me, we just
celebrated thirty four years, which is insane.

Speaker 1 (44:54):
Yeah, it's mental for baby Baldwin to be it's crazy,
go blust. Her dad was a very super famous musician.
I know that uh named Diadado. He produced like cool
in the gang, like so bright that her dad made
all that music. So she is like, you know, she
kind of comes from like a hipster Brazilian kind of
cool background. So she would throughout our thirty four years,

(45:15):
my wife would come out to be like once a quarter,
you know, with some gandhi thought. You know, like her
intellectualness is like that kind of I call her the.

Speaker 3 (45:25):
Oracle, Yes, I exactly. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (45:27):
So she comes up to me, she goes, I just
read this fascinating article that they say a great way
for longevity in a relationship is to pick on each other.
They say, the process of like that nudji annoying, you know,
the thing that makes you laugh when you don't want to.
That All that stuff they say lends to a subconscious

(45:49):
kind of excitement or what blah blah blah. But it's basically,
my spouse of X number of years. This this was
after twenty twenty five years of marriage, and she's basically said,
in kind of a sweet, subliminal way, I like it
when you know you pick.

Speaker 4 (46:05):
On that would not go over in my house.

Speaker 3 (46:10):
Guy.

Speaker 1 (46:10):
Oh god, no, hen't like when you pick on.

Speaker 4 (46:13):
Well, I don't like being picked on.

Speaker 1 (46:16):
You can dish it out.

Speaker 3 (46:17):
Oh yeah.

Speaker 4 (46:19):
Like there were times that we'd be watching, like you
would argue about something, and when I knew I was losing,
I would just point to the door, laughs at me.

Speaker 3 (46:30):
Good go, I'm done with this conversation.

Speaker 4 (46:35):
The other day, a couple of weeks ago up, he
was like, please wait before you tell people like the
date and the hotel block and all that, because you know,
my friends, I whatever, and all my friends already knew,
and I just need to let them know when the
block was available because we're all very type A people,
and his people are not very type A people. Hence

(46:56):
why the block is already sold out before to save
the date even when out, you know, my friends were
like animals like the room. So he said, please don't
tell them, Please don't tell them, Please don't them Okay,
and without missing me, he goes, you're gonna tell them,
aren't you. Yeah, as long as I know. But I
was like, no, I swear, and he's like, you're gonna

(47:17):
tell them?

Speaker 1 (47:23):
Hey, I just got a great idea. Can I host
the red carpet?

Speaker 4 (47:29):
Yes, you can, you can be you would.

Speaker 3 (47:34):
Let the wedding.

Speaker 4 (47:37):
The wedding.

Speaker 3 (47:39):
You don't want me to. You have no idea.

Speaker 4 (47:41):
Who's going to be there, like the crazy people that
are coming. Really, Oh my god, my friends, my closest,
closest friends and my deep, deep friend group from college.
It's literally a competition of who gets the biggest laugh.
Like it's literally everyone is constantly one upping each other
and not scared of saying anything inappropriate.

Speaker 3 (48:04):
It's a roast a bit.

Speaker 4 (48:06):
This happens at dinner, you know what I mean. So
when all of them from all over the country are
in a group, it really could get ugly.

Speaker 1 (48:14):
And you're not filming it.

Speaker 4 (48:15):
Oh god, no, there has to be no there has
to be no evidence, evidence whatsoever.

Speaker 1 (48:23):
That's going to be fun.

Speaker 4 (48:25):
That's our goal. We're not having like some big traditional weddings,
and it's not walking down an aisle in a white dress.

Speaker 1 (48:30):
And what's the sensibility on his side of the family
with his guests, are they going to be like?

Speaker 3 (48:37):
You know what it is is they're all lovely people
and I like that conservative lawyer like.

Speaker 4 (48:44):
But very they're lovely, they're more conservative. Half of them
would never say this that comes out of my mouth,
and they laugh and they get it. But it's just
a different sensibility. Or my friends will say ninety percent
of what pops through their heads.

Speaker 3 (49:03):
Right.

Speaker 4 (49:05):
I have a friend who's quite powerful in DC, and
at one of our college reunions a few years back,
I mean, hot mess, hot mess, and he had to
take a really early flight back to DC and it's
seven thirty in the more. We all wake up to
a textas says, do not post videos or photos.

Speaker 1 (49:28):
Yeah, yeah, that's instant.

Speaker 4 (49:30):
Yeah, he was like, oh god, like he started remembering
the night before.

Speaker 1 (49:33):
And there might have been some explaining to do.

Speaker 4 (49:36):
I mean, just it was anyway, but it was and
we would never do that to each other.

Speaker 1 (49:40):
I can't imagine how many more stories you must have.

Speaker 4 (49:44):
But his friends are lovely and they get it right
and they understand why stuff is funny.

Speaker 1 (49:49):
Right, So your world coming colliding with his, Now, it's cool.

Speaker 3 (49:54):
It is now right?

Speaker 1 (49:56):
It was.

Speaker 4 (49:57):
It was a tough reentry, you know what I mean.
I was burned up, you know, during re entry, but
somehow we made it through, took them and it took
them a little while to because also he never dated
anyone like me. They were all blonde, uber, waspy.

Speaker 3 (50:17):
You know, east Hampton.

Speaker 4 (50:20):
I'm probably more east Hampton there, but he was born
la oh that's I thought he was East Coast. No
Hancock Park, oh wow, yeah. And they never saw anything
like me roll in. And the first ones that liked
me were his nieces and nephews because wow, well because

(50:41):
they're all you know, twenties and thirties, and I would
call shit out. He belongs to a country club where
it's very male dominated, Like the men's locker room has
its own you know, grill in this, and the women's
locker room hasn't been redone in fifty years, you know, So.

Speaker 3 (50:59):
It's you're so funny.

Speaker 4 (51:01):
I said something at breakfast one time when we were
all together, and I like made some comment about to
say something like, oh, are they going to they make
you go around the back? And the nieces you know,
oh the women still have to go around the back
right right, and they fell out of their chair. Somebody

(51:22):
said I said it, and the rest of the people
kind of went and then the nieces and nephews literally
were on the floor because I'm not scared to say that.
And now it's all everyone's happy and this and that
and the other, and his friends I think, for the
most part really like me, right, but i'm because they
think I'm funny.

Speaker 3 (51:43):
Where you are.

Speaker 4 (51:44):
But that's how it all played out.

Speaker 1 (51:47):
And now you've been together how long?

Speaker 4 (51:49):
Two and a half years?

Speaker 3 (51:51):
Awesome?

Speaker 2 (51:51):
Look at you.

Speaker 4 (51:52):
You're so I'm getting married like this?

Speaker 3 (51:55):
But that's sweeten.

Speaker 1 (51:56):
Can I just give you some suggestions?

Speaker 4 (51:57):
Yes, and then I'll tell you one other thing.

Speaker 1 (51:59):
Make Kim your slave for the next thirty years.

Speaker 3 (52:04):
The honeymoon.

Speaker 1 (52:05):
He's massage in your feet.

Speaker 4 (52:06):
Oh, if you men, you have to.

Speaker 1 (52:09):
He must be trained.

Speaker 3 (52:11):
Now.

Speaker 4 (52:11):
He is very, very good at what's his name, Steve submit?

Speaker 1 (52:15):
Yeah, no, Steve submit to the powers of MELI mao.

Speaker 4 (52:20):
Yeah. But he's just he's so sweet and he's so funny,
and he's you know, we say, is he grounds me
and I make him fun good?

Speaker 1 (52:29):
That's a great that's a perfect balance.

Speaker 4 (52:30):
Yeah, he grounds me and I make him fun.

Speaker 3 (52:34):
I love it, you know.

Speaker 4 (52:36):
And he's like now, he says, he's like, you know,
it just took everyone a little while to get used
to you. They finally see what I see I'm like,
thank you, dear.

Speaker 1 (52:43):
But you remember when you said I thought I could
clean him up in the past.

Speaker 4 (52:47):
Yeah, he didn't need cleaning up, but he did need
very conservative dresser, very much the preppy.

Speaker 1 (52:54):
Lots of so he needed a lightning up. No, he's
not a cleaning up.

Speaker 4 (52:58):
But as I said to him, I ever going to
push you out of your comfort zone, but we're going
to make it a little bit. We're going to refresh
that the look. I'm not going to push you out
of your comfort zone, but we need we need a
little cleaning up.

Speaker 1 (53:14):
My advice is this. He looks great now when it
comes to the giver spirit because you said, oh, I
want to clean him up. That's a giver. But I
was going to say, calm down.

Speaker 4 (53:25):
Sorry, no, because with between him and my son, all
I do is order clothes online for both and I
have to by the way, and I have to stand
over both of them. Wait, I have to stand over
both of them because they will just rip open the
box and the plastic and take off the tags before
they even try it on. So I literally have to
stand there and like supervised so I can return like

(53:48):
I'll order things and be like do you like this
in ninety percent of the time they both say yes, right.

Speaker 1 (53:53):
I was going to say, let him take the lead
on the giver side for the rest, just make it
so that he's taken more carry you.

Speaker 3 (54:03):
He does good and then baby, listen, you deserve it.
Well what I do now, I'm not being nice.

Speaker 1 (54:09):
I'm just saying, who you are, where you are, now,
why don't you like settle into letting him like, you know,
get the flowers and then you know, yeah, I.

Speaker 4 (54:19):
Didn't have to train him to do any of that,
which was amazing.

Speaker 3 (54:22):
I don't have to call my people from all, right,
but I have.

Speaker 4 (54:27):
What I do now is when he makes me annoyed,
I keep a running tab and then when the tab
is full, I turned him and say I need a gift,
and he gets one. Yeah, but I know, you know
the other For Valentine's Day, there was this bag I
wanted and it was really expensive, and I had bought it,
and it was sitting in the box in the dust bag,

(54:48):
and I would go and I would look at it
and I was like agonizing because I'm like, I can't
spend this. I'm agonizing over this bag.

Speaker 1 (54:56):
Was it more than one hundred dollars.

Speaker 4 (54:59):
Yes, yes, So he says to me, what do you
want for Valentine's Day? And I said half my bag
and he went okay and gave me a check. I like,
this guy, isn't that smart?

Speaker 1 (55:12):
Was the cashiers?

Speaker 4 (55:14):
No, I did? I asked for and I asked for his.

Speaker 3 (55:19):
Write the license number on the chick exactly.

Speaker 1 (55:24):
That's funny. He would respect that. He's a lawyer.

Speaker 3 (55:27):
If we were calling good move now.

Speaker 4 (55:29):
We were coming back from Mexico and I was going
through we were going through global re entry and his
card expired and they're like, you have to go, get
in the other line. And I turned around, like meet
you in the car.

Speaker 3 (55:43):
I still.

Speaker 4 (55:45):
But I took his carry on so like he just
had to stand there. But he was like, no, of
course go. But I didn't even give a chance, like meet.

Speaker 5 (55:53):
You in the car.

Speaker 1 (55:54):
He'll figure it out. What happens after the wedding, your honeymoon?

Speaker 3 (56:02):
Do you have a honeymoon?

Speaker 4 (56:03):
No, no, it's too much. We'll figure well, we'll figure
out going away something. But we're not again, we're not children,
Like we don't have to go right away, right, He says,
I can't pack for two trips.

Speaker 1 (56:14):
But let's just say these cameras were enrolling and you
could do you're with him fantasy honeymoon. What would that be?

Speaker 4 (56:27):
It's a very good question. First of all, it would
have to be some sort of a world tour.

Speaker 1 (56:32):
So it's not just one spot and chill. It's hoppin'.

Speaker 3 (56:35):
It's globetrotten on a private plane. Wow, she's blowing it out, dudes. Okay,
with at least where give me two.

Speaker 4 (56:44):
Places you'd have to go at least two weeks on
a yacht and the plane. I mean, if we're talking fantasy, yeah,
I mean we didn't say reality.

Speaker 1 (56:54):
So okay, So where fantasy land? Where are the two
places you'd have to go?

Speaker 4 (56:59):
Places I've never been?

Speaker 3 (57:00):
Probably the Maldives, private plane or boat to Maldi.

Speaker 1 (57:03):
Oh you're smoking, Go ahead.

Speaker 4 (57:05):
And skiing somewhere in Europe. Skiing somewhere in Europe.

Speaker 3 (57:11):
Where the.

Speaker 4 (57:14):
No in Europe, sam Maritz or coursevel somewhere like that.
And of course, by the way, all on his credit card.

Speaker 1 (57:25):
And by the way, what kind of card does he
have that? Jo Mama taught.

Speaker 4 (57:29):
That's the joke is people who have real money generally
do not have the fancy card. Did you know that,
but he is you know what I'm saying like that,
and he would have to pay for it. No, split
seas like, yeah, you're cracking me up. But you said fantasy,

(57:49):
you didn't say reality.

Speaker 3 (57:51):
I love it.

Speaker 1 (57:51):
I mean you're seeing what you would do.

Speaker 4 (57:53):
And now he can see this later, he'd go me too,
you know, nice, nice fantasy.

Speaker 3 (58:00):
He's like half a bag is half a bag?

Speaker 4 (58:01):
Yeah exactly. He's like, I'd like to do that too.
You know, let's go get some scratchers. When number of
people say what what can I get you? I always
say a winning lottery ticket, but one of the ones
with the powerball. If you're asking me what you can
get me, that's what you can get me.

Speaker 3 (58:22):
You're hysterical.

Speaker 4 (58:23):
Wouldn't you take one of those?

Speaker 3 (58:26):
A lotto ticket with the power ball? Yeah?

Speaker 4 (58:29):
Thank you, thank you. Wouldn't you take that? Of the
favorite thing we all give each other, like in my
office and our friends and stuff like that. It's a
big thing now in our house of the holidays is
we give scratchers, right, because it's great.

Speaker 3 (58:45):
Might you never know?

Speaker 4 (58:46):
You never know. I've now got Steve's family like I
every holiday day, like Christmas when we are all together.
They can't wait for me to get there because I
bring Scratchers for everybody.

Speaker 3 (58:55):
You're a producer, that's a good idea for a TV show, scratchers.

Speaker 4 (59:01):
Yes, that you have to compete to get the penny
to scratch it off.

Speaker 1 (59:04):
No, you just give a bunch of people scratchers, and
because I see who wins and who doesn't, and then
do a reality show around what everybody.

Speaker 4 (59:11):
Thought that would be some really not compelling half hour
TV watching people scratch.

Speaker 1 (59:19):
But what if they win a dollar? What if it's
five thousand dollars?

Speaker 4 (59:23):
Okay, now we're talking right, But what if they had
to compete to get the scratcher?

Speaker 1 (59:30):
Right?

Speaker 3 (59:31):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (59:32):
What if they went on a treasure hunt to find
the five thousand dollars scratcher?

Speaker 4 (59:37):
Now we're talking. Now, that's more compelling. I thought you
might just like watching people's you.

Speaker 1 (59:40):
Can call it scratcher hunt.

Speaker 4 (59:42):
I like that scratch to survive.

Speaker 3 (59:45):
Maybe we'd throw it into like a scratch viver.

Speaker 4 (59:48):
Yep, that's it. On the money, we each take an EP.

Speaker 3 (59:52):
Credit run with it.

Speaker 4 (59:54):
Yeah, and just do the red carpet thank you in
Miami speech.

Speaker 3 (01:00:00):
Hmmm, Jimmy scratchers.

Speaker 4 (01:00:05):
Yeah, have you come telling just sitting and scratch.

Speaker 1 (01:00:10):
I'm kind of I'm kind of more into the curiosity
of like if one of the contestants is somebody that
like you know, needs to pay a car and da
da da da da, but like you know, wants to
go to like the cannabis dispensary, and yeah, well a
lot of the disaster aspect of that is so funny.

Speaker 4 (01:00:26):
One of the things we're talking about doing at the
wedding is that that there's gonna be scratchers for everybody.

Speaker 3 (01:00:34):
But then I thought.

Speaker 4 (01:00:38):
That's the funniest everybody loves, right, But then I've taken
it to a whole new level. I've taken it that
there's gonna be one like something under on each table,
like under someone's plate. That person is the table captain.
The table captains have to come out up and pull

(01:00:59):
a scratcher out of a bag and or out of
a bowl, and then whoever you win.

Speaker 3 (01:01:05):
For your table, it's a scratcher raffle.

Speaker 4 (01:01:08):
Kind of and then you're in charge of your table.
I also think we're gonna row Schambeau, have our boys
all ro shambau for who has to do their their vows?
First we saw that on the line, thought it was hilarious.

Speaker 3 (01:01:18):
I love.

Speaker 4 (01:01:19):
That's two out of three. He's got two.

Speaker 3 (01:01:20):
I got.

Speaker 1 (01:01:20):
You're into some really cool stuffs.

Speaker 4 (01:01:22):
I just it's our second well of us had the
big traditional weddings.

Speaker 1 (01:01:25):
From Scratcher to family Feud.

Speaker 4 (01:01:28):
We're not playing family feud there, but we are setting
up Batchian cornhole in the lobby.

Speaker 3 (01:01:34):
Corn hole.

Speaker 1 (01:01:35):
Yeah, I have to do the red carpet.

Speaker 3 (01:01:38):
Yeah, I have to you cornhole.

Speaker 4 (01:01:41):
Are you good at it?

Speaker 3 (01:01:42):
I'm very good at it.

Speaker 4 (01:01:43):
Okay, so you can be like the Ringer.

Speaker 3 (01:01:46):
I could be whatever you need me to be.

Speaker 4 (01:01:48):
See, but we're like, but again, we're having it's a
ski weekend. We're having a party.

Speaker 1 (01:01:54):
And will you help me a host and produce game
shows in the future, Percy?

Speaker 4 (01:02:01):
I think also half the show, cause she'd be great.

Speaker 3 (01:02:04):
James.

Speaker 4 (01:02:06):
I have a resume a mile long. I'm pretty sure
I'm qualified for the job.

Speaker 3 (01:02:12):
Let's not have to sell me that I want to
hear my game show. I do, Yes, I do.

Speaker 1 (01:02:17):
Like, remember when you were a kid and you played
that little sport thing you played ping pong or something,
or you kick the soccer ball, and your parent would say.

Speaker 4 (01:02:27):
Don't play ball in the house.

Speaker 3 (01:02:28):
Not in the house.

Speaker 4 (01:02:29):
Yes, my son played lacrosse, trust me, not in the house.

Speaker 1 (01:02:33):
I have a concept called not in the house where
you build a house on a stage like a game show,
and in each room is a different sport and you
do that sport you were not allowed to play in
the house. We do as a game show.

Speaker 3 (01:02:44):
Now how do you win?

Speaker 1 (01:02:47):
Just as a numbers game? So like if you go
with there could be NERF football where you're now going
to throw it through a target in a room.

Speaker 4 (01:02:54):
Can I throw a wrench into that?

Speaker 3 (01:02:56):
Please?

Speaker 4 (01:02:57):
Maybe you have to play and not break anything in
the world.

Speaker 3 (01:03:00):
That too, Yes, it's that too. It's you know, it's
that too.

Speaker 4 (01:03:07):
Yes, by the way, I like the throwback vibe. Also
then to Brady, but.

Speaker 3 (01:03:11):
It could be a host not in the house, don't
play ball in the house.

Speaker 1 (01:03:15):
So this would be studio audience, and you know you
turn to the audience at one point and they go
not in that.

Speaker 3 (01:03:24):
Cute?

Speaker 4 (01:03:24):
Right, awesome, we could sell that.

Speaker 3 (01:03:26):
We could sell that.

Speaker 4 (01:03:30):
But yeah, I like, like, you know, the throwback idea
of breaking something right, but you know, maybe you know,
but it's true. That's why we're all told don't damage
the walls, don't break something I wouldn't. My fear was
always outside that Cooper and his friends throw in the
little crossboll. I'm like, don't you cannot play facing the windows.

(01:03:50):
You cannot. Oh, by the way, I'm my new house.
I can see sort of like our portico from my
bedroom window right in the backyard, and there's like three
lacrosse balls up there. Right yeah, I mean, but he's
twenty three. He just graduated from Berkeley and he played
college lacrosse. Right, so I've spent since fifth grade with

(01:04:14):
lacrosse balls.

Speaker 1 (01:04:15):
You should just build him a lacrosse field on the
property duty last house.

Speaker 4 (01:04:21):
Somehow we ended up in a house with almost an
acre flat, and luckily we were in that house when
COVID hit, so it became like everybody's hangout outside. But
he and his friends we had nets set up, We
had the whole thing because all of his buddies are
lacrosse players.

Speaker 3 (01:04:38):
Melissa Rivers, thank you, thank you.

Speaker 1 (01:04:40):
I don't think there's anything more we need to cover here.

Speaker 4 (01:04:43):
Oh, but there is.

Speaker 1 (01:04:47):
Meaning in the future.

Speaker 4 (01:04:48):
No meaning are one of our most hilarious encounters, which
I reminded you of back when we were both cool
right right, and I was in I was on MTV
and you had done something and you were cool, right
and I was. We were shooting something for MTV. And
on the other side of you, me and Campbell Scott

(01:05:09):
were sitting on a pool table, right and somehow, I
don't know why, but we were shooting sitting on the
pool table, and you and I fell over right onto.
But it was at Hollywood Athletic Club.

Speaker 1 (01:05:23):
But it was on a pool table. Yeah, so you
and I rolled on a pool table.

Speaker 3 (01:05:28):
We probably just lost our balance, that must have been it.

Speaker 1 (01:05:31):
We probably just you know, both saw Campbell and went
and you got a little tongue tied.

Speaker 4 (01:05:37):
I fainted, yeah, you know, and taught me and we
both went. But I don't know why that I have
that memory of you and I at the Hollywood Cub sprang. No,
you were not.

Speaker 3 (01:05:51):
You were not so funny. No, you were not sober funny.

Speaker 1 (01:05:56):
But it wasn't that my event.

Speaker 3 (01:05:58):
You said was where do you remember what Hollywood Athletic Club.

Speaker 4 (01:06:01):
You don't remember the event?

Speaker 3 (01:06:03):
May I did? Well?

Speaker 4 (01:06:06):
Uh uh, I can't pass the pool table without thanking you.

Speaker 3 (01:06:11):
Jason Gedrick for AIDS Project Los Angeles.

Speaker 4 (01:06:13):
Yes, Jason Gedrick Wow, funny right, and MTV covered it right,
And that's when I was on MTV.

Speaker 1 (01:06:21):
Honey, God only knows why I may have tried to
roll you on a pool table.

Speaker 4 (01:06:25):
Just how about that? I was a willing participant.

Speaker 3 (01:06:27):
Well, who knew? All right?

Speaker 4 (01:06:30):
Yeah, the future, I remember I said you earlier, you
me and Campbell, Scott and Jason Gaedrick. But in thinking
to myself, oh, dear God, this is multi generation Hollywood.
This does not vode well for the future.

Speaker 1 (01:06:42):
But we've survived.

Speaker 3 (01:06:43):
Yes we have. Melissa, Thank you for being here on one.

Speaker 4 (01:06:46):
Always good to see you.

Speaker 1 (01:06:49):
Be blessed and congratulations.

Speaker 3 (01:06:59):
This son, this so bad as that?

Speaker 2 (01:07:09):
Wasn't that a great episode? It was interesting for me,
like I said at the beginning, because I was not
there for this. So I was literally listening to this
as you know, I was working.

Speaker 3 (01:07:18):
On it with Melissa.

Speaker 1 (01:07:19):
That's right, you weren't there. I remember that.

Speaker 2 (01:07:22):
And I found myself as I was listening to it,
wanting to ask questions and chime in like I do.
But I want to have Melissa back because I have
so many questions, so many questions.

Speaker 1 (01:07:36):
I want to have Melissa back, just so she's so
dank cute.

Speaker 3 (01:07:39):
She's cute, but this is.

Speaker 1 (01:07:41):
My chance to say also that her husband not even
going to see his name. Yes, but he's just a
freaking stud. He sounds like it. Well, you know, you'd
look at him and you'd think he was you know,
you think he owned like a newspaper somewhere in major
metropolis or something. He comes across like that kind of guy.

Speaker 3 (01:08:04):
But he's chill.

Speaker 1 (01:08:06):
But we were at an event recently and Melissa got
up to go out of the room and this guy
stood up to like move her chair. But as he did,
he did this kind of real casual he slid the chair,
she turned, and when he thought nobody was looking, he
gave her a little pat on her tushi. The husband
just snuck in this little right on her little butt cheek.

Speaker 2 (01:08:29):
Well, fiance, they're not married yet, are they?

Speaker 3 (01:08:31):
I said, that girl is gonna be very happy.

Speaker 2 (01:08:37):
Well, from the listener perspective, he sounds like a classic
gentleman exactly. Yeah, and you don't get those two often
these days. And yeah, he sounds like a good dude.

Speaker 1 (01:08:46):
But what do you think we should we should probably
talk about in this recording. Yeah, you know, we gotta
have Melissa back.

Speaker 2 (01:08:53):
We have to have Melissa back.

Speaker 3 (01:08:54):
I mean, we need a part two.

Speaker 2 (01:08:56):
We definitely need a part two.

Speaker 1 (01:08:57):
Maybe we interview her and her husband, We call in
and we don't tell her.

Speaker 3 (01:09:02):
Oh that would be fun.

Speaker 2 (01:09:06):
I like that, but I do. I'm just burning with
curiosity because he started to set it up and then
the conversation went back all the way to MTV days.
We never got to know what her one bad movie is.
She gave us a list of her favorite bad movies,
and then she actually started talking about this new TV show.

Speaker 1 (01:09:22):
If you're not thinking about who you're talking to, right,
this is Joan Rivers's daughter. You know what she's gonna say,
huh one, let.

Speaker 3 (01:09:30):
Me give you my list.

Speaker 1 (01:09:31):
That's you know, that's you know, that's very Melitia.

Speaker 2 (01:09:34):
But didn't she play her mom in a movie?

Speaker 1 (01:09:36):
I don't know, but I certainly don't think it's a
good idea. So it's just that that's her fun. No.

Speaker 2 (01:09:40):
But we but we, as you know, Stephen, we talk
about more than just bad movies.

Speaker 5 (01:09:43):
It we have to have her back on to talk
about that because I'm actually very curious definitely about she
has acted, but she is more known for riffing with
her mom on the red carpet with celebrities, which was
also I love the story of when she fangirled out
with Tom Cruise and then Peyton Manning right exactly.

Speaker 1 (01:10:06):
She was in amazing places.

Speaker 3 (01:10:09):
Yeah, back in the day.

Speaker 2 (01:10:11):
She's a great guest, great storyteller, very funny.

Speaker 3 (01:10:14):
We have to have her back.

Speaker 2 (01:10:15):
Let's book it all right, Let's do it all right.
And just a reminder for those of you who sat
to the very end, please please go on the episode
page and check out all the charities for the fires
and Steven. You want to say anything before we duck out, No,
I think.

Speaker 3 (01:10:32):
We got it covered. We just want to say thank you,
you know again, one.

Speaker 1 (01:10:35):
Bad movie's crazy idea that you know, we weren't sure
if people were gonna have fun with us, and it's
already beyond our expectations. People are really enjoying the show
and we're blessed.

Speaker 2 (01:10:49):
Yes, well, for the next time, we have to tell
the story and these tags, so we're going to keep
these little tags, and we have to tell the story
of when we were out working prepping for something and
a fan came up to us on the street.

Speaker 3 (01:10:59):
That was wild.

Speaker 1 (01:11:00):
Oh yeah, that when we were at Priscilla's, Yes, and
that dude walked by and said, I mean, right when
I was in the moment you were, and I are saying,
hey man, the numbers are kind of clicking a little bit.

Speaker 3 (01:11:13):
You know, faster now. This guy fucks by and goes,
hey man, love the new podcast. That was so crazy.

Speaker 5 (01:11:22):
So all right, Stephen es the next time, cheers, all right, blessings,
Bye bye.