August 29, 2023 • 53 mins
This week Rosie chats with standup comedian, actress, and author, Maria Bamford.
Listen in for their laugh out loud funny and honest conversation about dealing with mental illness, getting through day to day obstacles, and shared experiences as standup comedians.
Maria Bamford's new memoir, Sure I'll Join Your Cult, is available on Sept 5th.
Please Note: Mental Illness and OCD Issues are discussed in this episode. If you need to talk to folks for help here are some sources:
https://www.iasp.info/suicidalthoughts/
Help Maui:
https://mauiunitedway.org/disasterrelief
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
Well, hey everybody, it's me Rosie O'Donnell, and thank you
for being here on my podcast, Onward with Me Rosie o'donnald.
Today is August twenty fourth. I know it's not this
date when you are listening, but this is the day
that we are recording this, and it is my daughter,
Chelsea's twenty sixth birthday, which I can't even believe. I
(00:33):
went back and looked at all the pictures from her
when she was a baby up till now, and I
have to say, it really trips me out to know
my oldest boy is twenty eight and my second child,
Chelsea Bell O'Donnell, is twenty six, and you know, we
have had a difficult relationship and we have been working
(00:57):
on it a lot and trying to figure it out.
I told her how much I get out of doing
these podcasts and interviews, and we discussed whether or not
she'd be willing to come on and talk about you know,
mother daughter relationships and maybe substance abuse and goals for
the future, and you know, she said she wanted to
(01:19):
do it. So I'm thinking about that. Let me know
if you think that's a good idea, because some of
my friends. I've said that we talked about doing this,
and they're like, don't do that, and other people are like,
definitely do that. So I don't know the fact that
she wants to do it to me is encouraging. I
don't know. I'm going to think about it, so hit
us up with a message about whether or not you
(01:41):
think that's a good idea. Today, the twenty fourth, is
also the day that Donald Trump gets booked. He gets
booked today, We're going to get a mud shot from
Donald Trump, which is interesting and part of me wishes
there was a purp walk and he was treated like
(02:02):
any other person with ninety one felonies against him. You know,
he wouldn't be free number one, and he wouldn't be
without a purp wook. So I don't know he gets
special treatment, as I suppose some people think he should,
as he is the former president. But boy, oh boy,
did he do something on this country. He certainly did,
(02:26):
And I hope we can all come together when this
is all finished as a nation. You know, we are
so divided now and it's sometimes scary for a while there.
You know, in my twenties, I was obsessed with cults,
anything having to do with cults. I was obsessed with.
And it started because when I was living on Long
(02:46):
Island and I would go out at night to clubs
with my friends. I usually would just play video games
and my friends would go make out with boys and
I would have a beer and play Miss pac Man.
But while I was doing that, a lot of people
from the Mooney cult, remember the Moonies, would come over
to me and start to talk to me because I
was there for hours just playing a video game, you know,
(03:07):
and they walk around with flowers and try to sell
the flower. And every person that stopped me, I was like,
what's your name? Does your mother know where you are?
Can you give me your phone number so I can
call your mother? Like, I was obsessed with getting people
out of cults and the deprogramming that had to happen
in order to get someone to sort of understand that
they had been lied to and manipulated, and how hard
(03:29):
that is for the human ego to understand and accept,
especially when you were fully committed to what you believed
to be the truth. And I just feel like our
nation might need that, like group therapy, you know, by
the millions. That's the thought that I had today as
it's a big day. August twenty fourth, twenty twenty three. Well,
(03:51):
listen on this wonderful day. We have a wonderful interview
coming up right now. And Maria Bamford, who is one
of the funniest comedians, has a brand new book out
and it's absolutely wonderful. It talks about her life and
her mental illness and what she sort of lives her
life by, what kind of rules and what kind of challenges.
(04:13):
And I've been a fan of hers for a very
long time and I had never met her and was
so thrilled to get to sit down with her. She's very,
very funny, and she's somebody that you should all pay
attention to. As we talk about in the interview, Steve
Colbert said that she was the funniest comedian on earth.
(04:35):
Not a lot of pressure there, Maria Bamford. Right now, Well,
Hi Maria, how are you health?
Speaker 2 (04:52):
Old Rosie, thank you so much for having me on
the program.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
Well, I am a fan of yours. I'm an admirer
of yours. I love to watch you work and I
read your book in like two days. Oh it's a
quick read. It's that no, it was I was so
relating to it that I was like, Wow, we have
so much in common, you know, the mental state issues,
(05:16):
the intrusive thoughts, the OCD. I was like, we would
be besties. We just got a hangover.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
Oh my god, that's well, I'm delighted. Not everybody is
into it, so I or understands it. So you've had
the intrusive.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
Thoughts, oh my god, my whole life pretty much. I
still have them now and when they get really bad,
Like you know, I have a ten year old daughter,
and then I have children over twenty four children over
twenty but at fifty I adopted a newborn baby girl
and she has autism, and so I'm overly worried about
(05:53):
her safety and everything, just because of the communication issues
and whatnot, her not being able to pick up on cues.
But how it manifests inside of me is constant obsessive,
compulsive thoughts of her getting in danger. So like door
dash will ring and she'll go, I'll get it, mommy,
and my heart starts going like as if there's a
(06:14):
rash of door dash people stealing ten year old autistic
girls from their home when they're delivering Chipotle. But still
I related so much to the intrusive thoughts, and it
was since I was a kid like yours will.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
Yeah, I think it's something everybody has, it's just some people,
yet it becomes a part of it stops.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
You from living a full life. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
I started around nine or ten and just would stay
up all night worrying about things that in retrospect are ridiculous.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Like, give me an example of when you were a
little girl, what was something that's stuck in your head?
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Yeah, so my sister gave me titty twisters. It was
a seventy so it was not personal.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
Sure I remember them well. Yeah, And I somehow got
it in my head.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
I thought, what, despite the fact it was done to me,
that I had no desire to do it to someone
else because I know how bad it feels. I know
plans to know, like, it wasn't a sociopathic desire to
I somehow got afraid that now I because I had
it in my head that I was going to be
out of control and I would twist the teats, break
(07:24):
off the breastacles, who the honkers of people that I
loved and cared about.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
So I would stay up all night and sit on
my hands to prevent myself from doing such a monstrous
thing my parents. When I told him about it, they
sent me to a faith based healer, which I love.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
A faith based therapist. They can really help people. This
one just gave me more things to worry about.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
Like Jesus and the Bible, for suddenly, have you ever
read the Bible? Very sexual, very violent?
Speaker 3 (07:55):
It is.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
It's not like casual, easy READO. It's not.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
And so then I started getting more obsessions of like
what if I kill my family? What if I you know,
I am a sex offender and I just don't know it now,
money tortured, It was just sure fault and it's very
or it's relatively common. If you do need help, please
go on IOCDF Foundation International CD Foundation has a lot
(08:23):
of free resources. It's all based on taboos, So whatever
in your culture is a taboo. At the time when
I was growing up, it was homophobia, so I was
afraid that I was gay, Like, but it's whatever it
is would be your worst case scenario. Afraida was gay,
Freda was a serial killer. Some people it's postpartum depression.
(08:45):
They can fear that they're going to harm their child.
And it's very difficult to share about because it, you know,
people can misunderstand it. I don't know if you've ever
seen a therapist and basically written them a check at
the end of the session for seventy five dollars to
call the cops on you because they are mandated reporters.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
Which I understood they're mandated reporters. Yeah, I understand, But
it is hard when you tell the truth to a
therapist and they come back with here's what I have
to do to you. Now you know that it really
really curtails what you're willing to share in the next session.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
You know, which OCD is a different thing. It's a
fear of doing a thing, and not that people who
have plans to do something or genuine you know, sociopathic
tendencies or are hurting someone shouldn't deserve help too. I
argue that people in our society, those people who are
genuinely harming people.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
Need even more help.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
But yes, without a doubt, I think that's also a
taboo subject where I mean, I think we've dealt with
this in the comedy community of like boy do. I
wish that was a real opportunity for a lot of
the unregistered sex offenders in our business. To talk about
it on stage. Tell us what the fuck is going
on in your mind?
Speaker 1 (10:00):
Man?
Speaker 2 (10:00):
You don't just talk about it or talk about what's
changed or if you've changed anything. And if you haven't changed,
please give us a heads up, yeah, warn us.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
Let us know. Really, Now, when you were a little
girl and this was happening and your parents were trying
to help you, obviously, and your sister was tormenting you,
did you get to suicide in your head ideation as
a young child, like at nine or ten years ten
years old?
Speaker 2 (10:30):
You know? Of course, I don't think anybody really understands
what death is, but the idea of death and like, oh,
I'd just like this to be over and life not
feeling great. And I think I've always had that, you know,
Like it's only been since I've been on meds where
I kind of understand when somebody.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
Says, you, guys, let's just have a really good time.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
Like I've never really understand what somebody said confidently we're
just gonna get away from the weekend and have a
great time.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
Like really, or are we just going to go to.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
A different set of circumstances that we'll have about the
same level of suffering.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
It's so true. You know, people try it all the time.
In AA they call it a geographic ra right when
you just think I'm just gonna move and everything's gonna
be better, because when I move, I'm not gonna take
any of me with me. And guess what. You keep
showing up, honey, you keep showing up. Now, how did
honestly a kid with now, although I can ask myself
(11:31):
the same question, but how did a kid with a
lot of mental illness issues bubbling up and showing themselves
early go into comedy? But then again, why did I
ask that question? Because all of us are like the
every comedian you're gonna find has a story like ours.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
I think, yeah, And I think your job or whatever
you path you've chosen in life really probably speaks to
a deep childhood need, whatever that was. I was definitely
very shy as a kid. My sister and my mom
were much more gregarious and really had better material. They
were very funny and and so.
Speaker 1 (12:07):
And they weren't even trying. They weren't even trying trying.
I tell you I had rehearsed my stuff, and.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
Yes, so also I love the elation, the chemical reaction
that comes from people paying attention to you. Uh, that
feels glorious to me even and I would argue a
little bit even to say, even if it is lightly negative,
even if I bomb, I do get sort of this,
And I don't know if it's the testosterone.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
In me of like, yeah, go to hell. Like when
I don't do well, I just brought it. Then I
brought it and you didn't deliver for me. Right more
with Maria Bamford right after this. You know, I started
(13:14):
at stand up when I was like sixteen, which is
crazy when I think back now as a sixty one
year old up on the stage trying to tell like,
you know, truths that people who paid money should listen to.
I was like the babysitter. Most of them left at
the house with their kids. But I would get up there,
and when I bombed, I remember thinking to myself, well,
(13:35):
these people just don't get it. They're going to feel
so stupid when I'm very successful and they I had
no ability to understand that. Partially it was me. I
always blamed the crowd, you know, which worked opposite ways too.
If I did really well, I thought, well, that was
just a hyper crowd. So I didn't take all of
(13:57):
the credit, but I took you know, a lot of
the blame is yeah, yeah, I mean, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
There's all these arguments within the art form of like
what comedy is and what's real comedy, and what's a
real comedian? Like is the person who makes everybody laugh?
Like is that the best comedian? Like you know, like, okay,
you you can go in anywhere you know, and you
can even if people don't speak the same language, you
(14:23):
can mime and make it work. And I am definitely
a hothouse flower. I only bloom under the most precious
of circumstances. And yes, I you know, I I love comedy,
I know, but I know where I'm gonna do very poorly,
and that's the Vegas Strip any net of the week,
(14:46):
three shows a night on Fridays.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
I'm great to Bob, I understand. Comedy shop at the Trap.
I remember that I used to perform there and it
was like four shows a day. You had to go
for three weeks. You stayed in the tiny little room.
I don't really, I mean when I think back now
on what we both did, because you know, I'm like
almost a decade older than you, But what we had
to do to break into comedy, to do the comedy
(15:12):
when there were so few women. I mean, did you
have that when you were coming up or were there
women that you look to and thought, that's what I
want to do, that, that's the kind of comedian I
want to be.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
There were definitely more women, like I know, Margaret Show,
Janine Garoslow were uh you know, so I feel like
there are more women, but there were still that. And
I feel like I was very privileged, uh white blonde,
Uh you know, I think adorable, adorable, high voice, you
(15:46):
still are. Anyone's going to love that unless they don't.
And and so it's really wonderful to see now. I mean,
they're just so much more representation and interesting ideas. Like
my favorite kind of comedy is when you're only talking
from your own experience, which I don't always do that,
(16:09):
but like not punching down or say like the people
saying what gender stuff, I just don't live them whatever,
Like it's not you don't have a dog in the fight,
Why do you?
Speaker 1 (16:23):
Why are you even talking about this? Like I so
so agree, And it's so offensive to me because some
of the most known people who do that also were
at one point, the most phenomenal comedians around. It's like,
I feel like some of them, I don't know why
(16:44):
I am trying to couch like Dave Chappelle. David Chappe
has been very open about his opinions, right, I think
he got stuck like a record when you were a kid,
skips on the trans stuff. He like his record skips
and so the beauty of all of his his pros
and his perspective, it's not so nuanced when it's something
(17:07):
that's out of his world. He doesn't have the experience.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
It would be really interesting for him to tell if
these are all my requests of comedians for if Luis
c tell me why what? What did that feel like?
Speaker 1 (17:23):
Like? What did that? What? Yes?
Speaker 2 (17:24):
Does it feel like in the moment? And how did
you rationalize that to yourself? Dave Chapel, what does it
feel like? What are the feelings are being brought up
by the fact that, uh, someone is trans and wants
to be talked about in different pronouns like what.
Speaker 1 (17:44):
What is it that you're so mad about? Like what?
I don't know? And what does it have to do
with you? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (17:53):
And I want to say I am not a great person.
You know I'm not in no way perfect. Please call
me out for every thing. I love to be told
that I have fucked up. I would like to learn, so,
you know, please tell me the because I know there's
tons of problematic material I have on my own albums
which I can't exactly exactly.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
Yeah, but you know, as we learn more, we do better,
right as you learn, because I mean, there are some
stuff I look at from my old stand up act.
But mind you, I started at sixteen. R What did
I have to really pontificate about? But you know, a
lot of it I look at now and go, how cringey.
I can't even bear to listen to it. I can't
(18:38):
bear that that came out of my mouth. But you know,
here we are, and I'm sixty one years old. Now,
I've been at that stand up game for many, many,
many years, and I'm wanting to get back into it now.
It's very interesting. You know, what's your favorite place to
work out new stuff? Well, I haven't done it in
(18:59):
so long because for ten years I've had this little
child and so I haven't been able to go out
at night. And then with the autism diagnosis, it you know,
makes routine really important. So our our nighttime routine from
dinner up until sleeping, which also is a little bit
of an issue. We have a specific routine so for
(19:20):
me to be out during that a couple nights a week,
which you know, you have to surf, you get to
get in the water. If you want to be a comic,
you got to go perform at a club, you know.
But Wendy Leebman is a friend from so many years ago,
and I think she's fantastic. I love her delivery, I
love her point of view, I love her love of
stand up. And she has a little club in the
(19:40):
valley that she does a night of stand up every week.
And so I wrote her and said, would you be
okay with me trying like twenty minutes of new stuff
about being the bomb of an autistic child, you know,
because there's so many magical moments in that Marina. It's
really something else. It really is quite interesting, and I've
(20:01):
never really seen it performed from that perspective, right, And
so I'm going to try to do that. And when
she goes to school, I said, you know, a couple
of nights, I'm going to go out and do some
stand up comedy and She's like, what nights? What nights, Mommy,
You're ruining my childhood mother, right, And then I go
(20:23):
through my intrusive thoughts. What if I'm not home there's
a fire, there was a fire in MAUI all those people.
I can't get that out of him. I can't stop
worrying about crises and the you know, the Trump thing,
and it's like over and over and over and over.
It's tiring. I have to say, it's tiring. While the
whole Trump thing was very kind of traumatic and obsessive
(20:46):
compulsive wise, I couldn't stop drawing pictures of him for
you know, literally, I'm going to send you some, Maria.
I have like thousands of paintings I made of him,
and then it would write like rapists on it or
you know, horrible trader. You know. I would write things
on the paintings. And that's when I started to be
(21:06):
treated for my OCD because the doctor said, Rosie, can
I see what you've been painting? And I showed him
the iPhoto folder and he said, we're going to get
you on some good medication that might help this, and
for real, and I will tell you the medication helped,
and what also helped was when the indictment started. I
felt like, now the government has taken control over this rogue,
(21:31):
crazy man, and we're going to have the systems hold
and he's going to be held accountable. And that, to
me is what I needed to stop the OCD about him.
Speaker 2 (21:41):
Yeah, well I'm very relieved. But yeah, the news it
does feel does feel terrifying and personal. It feels like
what can I can I do? And I think art
is a very good way to deal with it. Yeah,
(22:01):
that's the Trump thing has been just awful.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
Oh. I was gonna say what I've.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
Done to get myself to do stand up comedy because
I don't want to stay up at night.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
I gotta tell you, I understand that tool.
Speaker 2 (22:15):
There's a theater in my neighborhood and it's at a
strip mall as everything is in Los Angeles, between a
liquor store and a pizza place, and it's thirty seat
and I just did a.
Speaker 1 (22:27):
Show this morning. I do them at eight am, no kidding.
It's like an AA meetings. Everybody up and ready in
the morning.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
And there are plenty of people who are unemployed or underemployed,
especially during the strike, who have nothing to do it was.
Speaker 1 (22:41):
It's a freaking great crowd, no kidding. I've done like
five shows I think at eight am, and I cannot
recommend it enough. Wow. Well, maybe I will call you
and get all the details and then I can get
like a spot at ten. You know, I can open
for you at nine fifteen is oh lord?
Speaker 2 (23:02):
But I mean seriously, any place? I'm sure any but
where are you in La though? Where are you at?
Speaker 1 (23:08):
I'm in Santa Monica, but I used to work out
at the Improvum short. You know, I could go there
and ask, and you know, it's very funny to be
this age and to see the young kids waiting to
go on with such exuberance and such excitement in their
face and terror and nervousness, and remember that I was
(23:29):
that person. And then somebody like Jay Leno would walk
in and he'd bump everyone, and you see all of
us were way in our faces would go like, oh no,
but I don't want to be that one. I don't
want to be the one who goes you know, I
don't want to bump anything.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
And as he finishedould be doing a morning show. Have
done earlier shows at comedy clubs as well, and they
want to make money, so anything that.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
Yeah, they'll do it exactly.
Speaker 2 (23:55):
They'll serve curly fries and chicken strips at any hour
of the day. So but yeah, I have that same
thing too, where I don't want to bump anybody because
it is so monstrous when you've been thinking about your
uh set all week and then then I guess what,
guess who's here?
Speaker 1 (24:16):
Fuck yeah. And the fact that you know, Terry Seinfeld,
you could go anywhere, you know, and you could go anywhere.
Speaker 2 (24:24):
I mean again, uh yeah, I love I love to
see your documentary about comedy the Comedian.
Speaker 1 (24:32):
I thought that was a very uh trip. I really
enjoyed it.
Speaker 4 (24:36):
Work.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
Well, you know, we're so such interesting people like you know,
I mean when you read I hope everybody reads your book.
It comes out September fifth. Yes, it's so uh it's
so beautifully written. It's so honest, Maria. It's so uh
introspective and brutally beautiful, and I really really related to it.
(24:59):
I I thought it was just so unique. You never
hear anyone, especially a comedian, talking about their life in
that kind of way, and it's so helpful, I think
to everyone when anyone who has any kind of mental
health challenges, like myself, like you is able to speak
to it and kind of free the people listening in
(25:20):
fear who haven't yet given voice to what's been happening
inside their brain.
Speaker 2 (25:26):
You know, well, I do love that about comedy, about
like people talk about things that are not often talked
about or frightening or intense. And then yeah, it's something
to talk about on the way home with your friends
or your family if you've made the mistake of bringing
your family to a comedy club.
Speaker 1 (25:47):
Not a good choice ever, great choice now is what
is your husband?
Speaker 2 (25:53):
My husband's a painter, so he works from home, just
like me, and he loves he loves comedy, which is
a great boon. And we met on the internet. We've
been together ten years, married for nine and yeah, and
we've needed all the help, all the help. About three
(26:15):
months in we got a therapist. I don't know what
I'm doing. I still don't know what I'm doing, you know,
Like I don't have a insight into relationships, but uh yeah,
I've also I've never had a relationship where I've gone, oh,
I this is it, this is the one, you know,
(26:36):
I've never related with that part. So the thing. It
really connected. Me and my husband were like, let's do this.
You know we're going neither of us. We're both messes.
Speaker 1 (26:49):
Let's uh oh in a beautiful way though. I mean,
who most people are messes, but they don't want to
admit that.
Speaker 2 (26:57):
You know.
Speaker 1 (26:58):
So when you meet someone in your life that you're
connected to, that you're attracted to, that turns you on
go towards that. You know. But I think, do you
think there's any autism spectrum stuff going on with you? Maybe?
Speaker 2 (27:13):
I mean, yeah, that's my friend Jackiecasi of Comedian shows.
It says most comics are fighting the wind of autism.
Speaker 1 (27:20):
Uh, but so true, I think yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:23):
Because it's I do that feeling of safety, in the
control of being ample. I mean even within this that
I'm amplified, I'm lit, I'm you know, you know, we're
in a very secure dynamic if.
Speaker 1 (27:39):
Yeah, it feels very comforting. Stay tuned, we'll be back. Oh.
Speaker 2 (28:05):
I also, so, what were you paid, Rosie O'Donnell when
you first started out as a middle do you remember?
Speaker 1 (28:13):
I think you know what happened to me was kind
of interesting because I was very young, and then I
got on Star circ Yeah, in nineteen eighty four and
I was like twenty two or twenty one, and I
had done maybe four years of stand up still there,
you know, that's about it's a lot of stand up.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
Were you paid on the East Coast from sixty to twenty?
Speaker 1 (28:32):
Well, Shirley Hemphill from What's Happening, that large black woman
who was so funny on that show. She was the
headliner one weekend and I was doing the open mic
night and she happened to come into the club to
have dinner and she saw me and she said to
the owner, I want her to open for me, and
you're gonna pay her fifty dollars a set. And I
(28:53):
remember thinking at sixteen, that was more money than I
ever had in my life. And on one weekend I
made like three hundred dollars from her, And then I
got on Star Search and I kind of jumped from
an opening act to a headliner, so I kind of
missed the middling phase. Well, and that's so interesting.
Speaker 2 (29:13):
The fifty dollars that she got you per show is
the same amount people being paid today.
Speaker 1 (29:19):
Like, isn't that sick? Yeah? Like that has not changed.
Speaker 2 (29:24):
Or zero in fifty years and fifty years. Yeah, so
it's really weird. And that's one thing I mentioned in
the book. I liked doing open book accounting of like
what I earn as opposed to because you know, they
don't go out of their way to tell you, oh
the the whoever's open for you.
Speaker 1 (29:45):
It was making what they're making right, They ask them.
Speaker 2 (29:48):
And so now I mean I try to ask everybody
and then pay them an equivalent at least twelve hundred
a week depending on what I'm earning, you know, just
to make sure that I'm earning that much money too. Sure,
but I find that especially with comedy or any job
where there is in a union where negotiating for money
(30:14):
and I don't know if you've ever had to do
that as as a woman on your own.
Speaker 1 (30:18):
Two yes, for sure. And so many clubs, the woman
who does the billing, because it was often a woman
who kept the books, would come over to me and say,
you know, we had sell and so here last week
and they got double what you're getting, and you know,
and I had so many women come over and tell me.
(30:38):
So that's what helped me kind of ask for more.
And then I got a manager through Shirley hampel By
the way. It was her manager and she helped me
and he signed me, and then I had somebody to
negotiate for me, which was so much easier because you know,
when you're young and you want to get on stage,
you would pay them, right of course. Yes, it's still
(30:59):
the same people, do you know.
Speaker 2 (31:00):
It's like it's it's the same where people are delighted
and especially if they like your work, they're like.
Speaker 1 (31:06):
It's an honor to open for this person.
Speaker 2 (31:09):
And yeah, but it's it is fair.
Speaker 1 (31:12):
It feels bad, it feels good, and it's a.
Speaker 2 (31:14):
Reflection of what goes on in our society now where
there's these massive you know, people doing stadiums, you know,
and then is their openers getting one hundred and fifty
bucks you know, like right right, it's yeah, it's just interesting.
Speaker 1 (31:31):
Yeah, it's wrong and and and when it feels wrong
to you, you need to fix it. And that's what
you did. Yeah, and that's pretty amazing. A lot of people,
you know, don't even bother to think of the plight,
so to speak, of the up and coming people. But
I think, uh, for you and for me as well,
maybe I'm speaking at a turn we can remember so
vividly what it was like to get up there the
(31:54):
first time, what it was like to actually make money
during the you know, the the goal of being an
artist to be able to pay, be paid to try
to learn, you know, and you.
Speaker 2 (32:07):
Might not have to have a second job while doing comedy,
or second or third job while doing comedy.
Speaker 1 (32:15):
And yeah, I.
Speaker 2 (32:17):
Worked as a secretary for the first ten years of
doing comedy and so I which was great. I loved
I loved administrative assistance. It was good times. But yeah,
just I mean, it's the thing I think everyone's dealing
with with the gig economy of like having to negotiate
on your own behalf and right and even now, like
(32:39):
I need to do that, like by manager, I have
a manager, I have an agent. But I'm sure you
get this all the time in La, like.
Speaker 1 (32:48):
We love you. Could you come and do this thing
for no money? For nothing?
Speaker 4 (32:55):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (32:56):
I yes, Wow, I kind of can't, I know, and
you feel so bad, but you go no. You know,
It's funny. My brother is my manager of all my money,
and he's very good at it. But whenever I get
any offer, they send it to him as well. Oh nice,
And before I even have a chance to read you know,
he'll write back bullshit money no to the agent, you know,
(33:19):
with them copied on it. And it's unless he's like,
unless they're gonna pay you, there's no reason for you
to get involved. Why are you doing it? I'm like,
I you don't understand, Tim, You know, sometimes it's an honor,
sometimes it's but on the whole, I believe we should
all be paid for when we're doing our job that
we learned through years of doing it for nothing.
Speaker 2 (33:40):
Yeah, and it's one thing. If it's if I want
to do it, if it's going to be super fun,
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (33:46):
I love open mics. I will do an open mic
any night of the week. I enjoy it.
Speaker 2 (33:51):
Last time I went to the open mic in my neighborhood,
I saw an older black man do a rhyming act
that was not only misogynist, but body positive. That's the
kind of that's the kind of beauty you're going to see.
But if somebody wants me to do a benefit, I benefits.
Speaker 1 (34:12):
What they turn out to be.
Speaker 2 (34:13):
They're far too long because they're going to book everybody,
and then it ends up being a hostage situation where
you're suffering on behalf of Parkinson's through.
Speaker 1 (34:27):
A comedy show. Let's stop stop madness. I understand, I
so get it. Honey. Let me ask you about this book.
Did you go to them and say, I got a
lot of things I want to write down. Did they
come to you and say, will you write a book
for us?
Speaker 2 (34:41):
Mayrie offered me one hundred and fifty thousand dollars book deal,
and I said, well, I like money. And then after
getting the initial money, which is about forty seven thousand dollars,
then I read the contract and that what happens with
the book deal don't know is you get a chuck
(35:02):
of change to start it. Then three years later when
and it's not when you think the book is done,
it's when they think the book is done. You get
an under fifty thousand dollars. If they don't think the
book is done or they don't like the book that
you've written, you have to pay that money back, the
initial money that you've received back, which in effect, you've
(35:24):
paid fifty thousand dollars to find out that you didn't
want to write a book.
Speaker 1 (35:30):
No, is that fair anywhere? Let's just do the vamp.
That doesn't sound fair.
Speaker 2 (35:33):
But then I'll get another fifty thousand dollars when it
comes out on softcover, and that will be delight when
that happens. But that was interesting to find out about
a book deal. It's a slow burn. It's a seven
year situation.
Speaker 1 (35:49):
Really, that's the start to finish seven years for me.
Speaker 2 (35:52):
This is we're going in on four years. Then I
assume the softcover won't come out for I would think
a couple of years.
Speaker 1 (35:58):
So I just think, uh no, I think it's a
year later later. Okay, maybe tighter turn around. There you go.
Did you enjoyed writing the book? Did you find it
healing or helpful? It was? It was There was moments
of giggles. Uh.
Speaker 2 (36:14):
My favorite parts were I got to read it out
loud of different friends. I paid my friends. Again, if
you live in an asor any major city and you own.
Speaker 1 (36:22):
A house, pay your friends.
Speaker 2 (36:25):
All my friends that pay them one hundred and twenty
five bucks an hour if they're doing something for me
that is professional. And they were listening to my books,
So that that part was fine when I got some laughs.
The parts that were hard was then when people, the
editors would say, oh, we need more or less, or
this we don't like.
Speaker 1 (36:44):
We didn't like this part? Can you take that out? Yeah?
Gets old? Yeah exactly, you get so mad t Rex
arms to get t Rex arm.
Speaker 2 (36:52):
Yeah, because that's you know, that's the whole reason you
start doing stand up is that no one can tell
you what to do.
Speaker 1 (36:59):
And uh, at least that's how why I decided. I
just that's how I felt too. When you're up there,
you're the director, the writer, the producer, everything. You're the
sound person. You decide where to put the mic, how
to hold them up here. It's like you're in total control.
It's it's a wonderfully freeing way to work as an artist. Yeah.
And if you run out the door, you don't even
(37:20):
have to hear the reviews. What about the review that
Stephen Colbert gave you my favorite comedian on Planet Earth? Right?
Isn't that come on? I mean, what did that? Where
were you and how did it feel?
Speaker 2 (37:35):
I don't know, it felt insane? He said it backstage
is coming out on the show, and I was like,
what is happening?
Speaker 1 (37:46):
What? But very grateful now.
Speaker 2 (37:50):
Of course, a few years later he did say she's
one of my favorites, which is.
Speaker 1 (37:54):
A precipitous drop, Rosie. Yes, it certainly is There's no
way to avoid looking at that and saying I have
fallen his graces in some capacity.
Speaker 2 (38:06):
Oh but yeah, no, I've got uh yeah, lots of
support from the comedy community. Uh some jet app to
how uh uh yeah, mat surewitz been extremely sort of
a my career.
Speaker 1 (38:25):
You know, I'm done.
Speaker 2 (38:26):
I have succeeded by beyond my wildest dreams. Now it's
just time to uh get a daily peanut buster parfe
and fall into a pillow.
Speaker 1 (38:37):
I understand, you know, I feel the same way about
my career, and like people saying what do you want
to do, I'm like, everything I've wanted to do I
have gotten to do. I have had an unbelievably fortuitous career.
Is that even the right word. It's unbelievable to me
what I've been able to. You know, people, what do
you want to do next? I'm like, whatever happens. I'm
(38:58):
open for whatever happened. I'm not looking to you know, boy,
if I could only get people to know my kind
of personality, No, they know it. You know, you're a
known identity, You're a known quantity. And you are too right,
You're a known you know what you're gonna get when
you get a Maria booking, Yes, don't you think, Oh
my god?
Speaker 2 (39:16):
Yes, and so maybe time to book somebody else, is
what I That's what I always say.
Speaker 1 (39:23):
You're so generous to the other comedian. Why are you
booking me? I've been here long enough, don't you know
these bits?
Speaker 2 (39:31):
Yeah, I'm trying to Yeah, I'm trying to write a
new hour of material.
Speaker 1 (39:36):
Good for you now. Twenty minutes is my goal to
make the new twenty minutes because I feel like if
I take on the chunk of an hour, which you know,
people don't realize takes a long time to write an hour,
to get an hour edited and cut down and concise
and to the punchline as quick as possible, and people
don't understand the amount of work it takes, like it's
(39:57):
like sculpting something out of stone.
Speaker 2 (39:59):
No. I had somebody come to my morning show who said, so,
these are the same kind of three premises you've been
working on.
Speaker 1 (40:08):
I mean, like the past several shows. This is kind
of all you have. Like, Yeah, how nice, Yeah, thanks
for coming, Thank you for talking to me after the show.
I hope you're at all my shows. Come on, what
kind of bullshit? Is that you know, you take the
clay that is your life and you rework it into
different things A bowl, a cup, a play. You know,
(40:30):
you you work the clay that is your life. What
does she want for you to get someone else's experience? Yeah?
I wish I had? Uh you know? Do want? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (40:41):
Taking tumbling classes? Is that my next thing? Do I
need to interest you with.
Speaker 1 (40:47):
A roller skilled yoga tea by Maria Yes exactly. Let
me tell you about how I felt when I started yoga.
I mean, I don't know. I think you always rework
your your life experiences into something more beautiful and more
more profound as you get older and as you get
more skilled at doing it, and you know the only
(41:07):
way to really do it is to show up and
do it. And and that's what I'm The book made
me excited, your book, I'll happily join your culture.
Speaker 2 (41:18):
Children, and I yeah, yeah, I think it. But it's
always embarrassing, that's the thing. And it's very embarrassing to
go out with new new stuff and then people go,
hmmm that, especially Los Angeles people are like, is.
Speaker 1 (41:32):
That it is that all saw that your last special
had little inklings of that? Oh? Shut up. You know
Picasso too much blue? Okay, you like I should listen
to you, but you know you do it. You do it,
and you hone it the best you can and you
know it's funny. I've been obsessive, compulsively watching all of
(41:52):
the survival shows on TV, with the exception of Naked
and Afraid, because I think it's gratuitous nudity and I
don't need people to have bug bites over every part
of their body. But I've been watching these other show
It's like Alone where they go in the woods. Oh,
isn't that something that show? How long do you think
(42:12):
you could last? In the current season in Saskatchewan. I
would vote myself off before I got off the helicopter,
you know, like they drop you. I would be like, sorry,
I'm tapping out, where's the phone? No, I couldn't do it, Maria.
I think they should have one for celebrities where you
have to stay in a motel six for a month
and you get to have you know, uh, and there
(42:34):
are no whatever minimum wage and they're no minimum wage. Yeah,
there's no camera. You have to write an essay every
night about what it feels like and then people will
judge whether or not your essay was good enough, and
then you get voted out of the Motel six. I
don't know. I mean, I could never do it, but
I love watching it. I love thinking looking what people
come up with. I love you know, there's something about
(42:57):
starting with nothing and making something and the combination of
watching alone and reading your book. As I was on
vacation last week and I was like, I want to
start doing stand up again. I want to start. Oh
my god, Yeah, it was you inspired me. You and
Wendy leave Me and Kathy Griffin truthfully, because she's constantly
on tour. That that Kathy Griffin doesn't give up. Man,
(43:18):
you know she's going to Vegas. Yeah right, my lord,
what she's gone through and also what she is achieving now,
she's you know, at the Mirage selling out the Mirage.
Isn't that great?
Speaker 3 (43:32):
You know?
Speaker 1 (43:32):
Hey, I have to do just you just keep going.
That's uh, that's the key from what I've hence the
title of this podcast, Onward, No matter what happens, people,
we got one choice. Onward, Okay, no going back. Onward. Well,
I think that you're delightful. You're so smart, you're so honest,
(43:53):
and you're so in touch with who you are and
what your brain is doing at different times that it's
inspiring to watch you perform because it's never ever a
standard performance. You bring your own stamp of Maria on
everything that you do, and that's the mark of a
wonderfully talented comic that you can tell you know that
(44:15):
is her. It's been lovely to talk to you. Thank
you for doing my podcast. I've been admiring of yours
for so many years and I'm so happy that we
got to check. Thank you, Thanks so much. Thank you
Maria for being here, and everybody go buy her book
that comes out September fifth. All right, we'll see you
and we'll be right back. Hey, everybody, we're going to
(44:55):
take some questions now from you, the loyal listeners. Thank
you for listening. By the way, we got one coming up.
Let's sit it.
Speaker 3 (45:02):
Good morning, Rosie. My name is Tom. I'm calling from
the Land of ten Thousand Lakes in Minnesota. Really enjoy
your podcasts, and I really enjoyed the conversation you've had
with Marcy Marie Simmons. Boy, that really helped for me
to reframe how I view certain people, certain situations, and
(45:27):
so I really appreciate that gift you gave to me,
and I know too many people you have these conversations
that are filled with heart and compassion, and it really
made an impact. Say, I've been in the broadcast industry
nightly news anchor for a couple of decades here in
(45:47):
Minnesota and throughout the Midwest, and these days, you know,
it's easy to get overwhelmed with the news and things
that are happening in this tree and around the globe.
I'm curious what do you do to find your center
of gravity? For me, it's family, faith, pulling a chair
(46:11):
up behind or beneath a tree by a lake, and
reading a really good book. What do you do? Where
do you find your center of gravity these days? Rosie?
Thanks for all your work and really appreciate the podcast.
Speaker 1 (46:25):
Thank you so much, Honey. That's so nice of you.
And I hope when I'm in Minnesota the next time,
I'm going to get to watch your newscuest because I
will look for you. You know, what do I do
similar to what you do? A good book always helps
for me, art, doing art or ingesting art, watching a
great documentary, you know, doing a painting, mostly hanging out
(46:46):
with my ten year old. You know, Dakota is a
very verbal, very inquisitive, curious child, So they keep me
on my toes. I can tell you that for sure.
And also so the beach. I love to be near
the ocean. I love to look out there and reframe
(47:08):
you just how important things are in my life. When
you consider that ocean is so huge and you can't
see what's beneath it, and all of a sudden, you know,
a dolphin will pop up and you're given this magical
moment of wonder. It's definitely nature, it's definitely people, and
(47:29):
it's definitely art, and you know, mindfulness, all of those things,
all of those things. But my main joy in life
is humans. You know. I love people. I love to
know their story. I love to sit and have a conversation.
And I'm glad that you appreciate that here on my podcast.
Thank you so much for leaving a message. I really
(47:52):
do appreciate it. We have another question I understand hit it.
Speaker 4 (47:55):
Hi Rosie. My name is Anna, I'm forty and I'm
a lawyer. And I recently listened to your episode where
you had the Weight Loss Doctor on and you talked
about your personal experience with Monjarro. First, I just want
to thank you for having episodes like that. I think
it's important to talk about obesity and medical treatment for
obesity because people shouldn't be ashamed when they're trying to
seek remedies or obesity, which is a disease that is not,
(48:20):
you know, necessarily their fault. However, I was a little
bit surprised that you guys didn't talk about the side
effects or the negatives to going on these some aglotides.
I know there's a lot of litigation going on regarding
these drugs and how they cause stomach paralysis or paralyzed
you know, part of the gastrointestrinal track as a result
(48:42):
of using them, and the manufacturers simply, you know, didn't
tell people that this could be a side effect. And
then just last month, the American Academy of Antesesiologists put
out a warning about these types of drugs, saying that
people are vomiting when they're undergoing surgery, even if they're
adhering to the fasting rules prior to the surgery. So
(49:04):
I just wanted to, you know, bring a little bit
of balance. You know that these drugs are not a panacea.
They can be helpful obviously in the appropriate situations, but
I just thought it was important to note that there
are some very very severe side effects that can occur
as a result of taking these drugs, and people shouldn't
take them lightly. They should see a real doctor instead
of you know, buying it off of Facebook or wherever
(49:27):
you know, a sketchy source. You know, you want to
see somebody who's can treat the real you and the
all your other medical conditions besides obesity, and really think
about it before going on these types of drugs and
what types of alternatives there are. And just as a
side note, I also, you know, being forty and looking,
you know, towards the aging part of my life and
(49:48):
trying to prepare myself for what's coming ahead. And I
just wanted to say, you know, how much I appreciate
you being open about menopause and things like that, and
I'm glad somebody is talking about that because you know,
I have no idea what to expect or when it
happens or anything like that. So I just wanted to say,
love that content, and hope you have more content about
(50:09):
women aging and what your experience has been and have
guests on to talk about their experience. I think that
that's great content that's missing on other podcasts. Thank you,
have a great day.
Speaker 1 (50:20):
Thank you for what a wonderful in depth question and comment.
I'll start first with the menopause one, because that was
the last thing you said, so it's in my head. Yeah,
I agree, menopause is something we have to talk about more,
and that's a wonderful idea. Maybe I'll just you know,
ask people to write in if they have had a
(50:41):
severe bout with menopause or just a typical one. Mine
started at forty and it was horrific. It was so
horrible I can't even tell you, and no one warned me.
I felt very much hit by, you know, a moving
truck like I didn't expect to. I wasn't even on
a street. I just was like bam, you know. And
the hot flashes are hotter than you can imagine to
(51:04):
be walking in the mall or you know, target for me,
and my whole back looked like I had jumped in
a pool and boy, it was difficult. But that's a
wonderful idea for another show. So we will definitely do that.
Thank you for that. And as for the Manjaro one.
You know, here's the thing. I had no side effects zero.
Now I have just been given a dose for the
(51:27):
five point zero, which is doubling how much I have
taken this far, And should any side effects come up,
I will definitely talk about them on here. I think
because I had none. In the same way with menopause,
I had a lot. I like to talk about all
of the symptoms and stuff that I had during menopause,
but because I had none during my Munjaro journey so far,
(51:51):
I didn't even think to bring it up. But yes,
I've read those stories. I've talked to my doctor about them.
She said, you're fine. You are on a very low dose.
We're going to move you up to five point zero.
See how that works. Don't worry. You're not in danger
of any of these things. And you know, I'm gonna
listen to her. I'm gonna believe her. So I don't know.
I'm sorry that I didn't do that. In some ways
(52:14):
and in other ways, I don't know how to talk
about an experience I haven't had particularly, But it should
have been a topic that we brought up. You're right,
we maybe missed that, But the truth of the matter
is I haven't had any side effects so far. To me,
it has been a miracle drug. It doesn't change everything,
but it changes enough that your body can almost reregulate itself.
(52:37):
And I don't know. I'm a firm supporter, but as
for me, my Munjaro journey so far has been fabulous
without side effects. So thank you very much for the question.
I appreciate that, and look out for that. Menopause. As
I said, mine started at forty and pretty much ended
at like forty eight. I mean it was eight years
a hell, honey, So hold on, hold on. Thank you
(53:00):
so much for the voice memos and everybody. Next week.
Lena Waite, Boy, did I love talking to her. I
admire her so much. I think she's so unique and
so smart and so beautiful and I had a great time.
I mean, she's an Emmy Award winning writer, creator, producer, actor.
(53:21):
She taps into emerging trends socially. She speaks to a
myriad of experiences from her unique perspective while challenging audiences
to think outside of conventional norms. I think you're gonna
love it. Look for that on Tuesday and have a
wonderful week. We will see you then. Onward,
Well, hey everybody, it's me Rosie O'Donnell, and thank you
for being here on my podcast, Onward with Me Rosie o'donnald.
Today is August twenty fourth. I know it's not this
date when you are listening, but this is the day
that we are recording this, and it is my daughter,
Chelsea's twenty sixth birthday, which I can't even believe. I
(00:33):
went back and looked at all the pictures from her
when she was a baby up till now, and I
have to say, it really trips me out to know
my oldest boy is twenty eight and my second child,
Chelsea Bell O'Donnell, is twenty six, and you know, we
have had a difficult relationship and we have been working
(00:57):
on it a lot and trying to figure it out.
I told her how much I get out of doing
these podcasts and interviews, and we discussed whether or not
she'd be willing to come on and talk about you know,
mother daughter relationships and maybe substance abuse and goals for
the future, and you know, she said she wanted to
(01:19):
do it. So I'm thinking about that. Let me know
if you think that's a good idea, because some of
my friends. I've said that we talked about doing this,
and they're like, don't do that, and other people are like,
definitely do that. So I don't know the fact that
she wants to do it to me is encouraging. I
don't know. I'm going to think about it, so hit
us up with a message about whether or not you
(01:41):
think that's a good idea. Today, the twenty fourth, is
also the day that Donald Trump gets booked. He gets
booked today, We're going to get a mud shot from
Donald Trump, which is interesting and part of me wishes
there was a purp walk and he was treated like
(02:02):
any other person with ninety one felonies against him. You know,
he wouldn't be free number one, and he wouldn't be
without a purp wook. So I don't know he gets
special treatment, as I suppose some people think he should,
as he is the former president. But boy, oh boy,
did he do something on this country. He certainly did,
(02:26):
And I hope we can all come together when this
is all finished as a nation. You know, we are
so divided now and it's sometimes scary for a while there.
You know, in my twenties, I was obsessed with cults,
anything having to do with cults. I was obsessed with.
And it started because when I was living on Long
(02:46):
Island and I would go out at night to clubs
with my friends. I usually would just play video games
and my friends would go make out with boys and
I would have a beer and play Miss pac Man.
But while I was doing that, a lot of people
from the Mooney cult, remember the Moonies, would come over
to me and start to talk to me because I
was there for hours just playing a video game, you know,
(03:07):
and they walk around with flowers and try to sell
the flower. And every person that stopped me, I was like,
what's your name? Does your mother know where you are?
Can you give me your phone number so I can
call your mother? Like, I was obsessed with getting people
out of cults and the deprogramming that had to happen
in order to get someone to sort of understand that
they had been lied to and manipulated, and how hard
(03:29):
that is for the human ego to understand and accept,
especially when you were fully committed to what you believed
to be the truth. And I just feel like our
nation might need that, like group therapy, you know, by
the millions. That's the thought that I had today as
it's a big day. August twenty fourth, twenty twenty three. Well,
(03:51):
listen on this wonderful day. We have a wonderful interview
coming up right now. And Maria Bamford, who is one
of the funniest comedians, has a brand new book out
and it's absolutely wonderful. It talks about her life and
her mental illness and what she sort of lives her
life by, what kind of rules and what kind of challenges.
(04:13):
And I've been a fan of hers for a very
long time and I had never met her and was
so thrilled to get to sit down with her. She's very,
very funny, and she's somebody that you should all pay
attention to. As we talk about in the interview, Steve
Colbert said that she was the funniest comedian on earth.
(04:35):
Not a lot of pressure there, Maria Bamford. Right now, Well,
Hi Maria, how are you health?
Speaker 2 (04:52):
Old Rosie, thank you so much for having me on
the program.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
Well, I am a fan of yours. I'm an admirer
of yours. I love to watch you work and I
read your book in like two days. Oh it's a
quick read. It's that no, it was I was so
relating to it that I was like, Wow, we have
so much in common, you know, the mental state issues,
(05:16):
the intrusive thoughts, the OCD. I was like, we would
be besties. We just got a hangover.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
Oh my god, that's well, I'm delighted. Not everybody is
into it, so I or understands it. So you've had
the intrusive.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
Thoughts, oh my god, my whole life pretty much. I
still have them now and when they get really bad,
Like you know, I have a ten year old daughter,
and then I have children over twenty four children over
twenty but at fifty I adopted a newborn baby girl
and she has autism, and so I'm overly worried about
(05:53):
her safety and everything, just because of the communication issues
and whatnot, her not being able to pick up on cues.
But how it manifests inside of me is constant obsessive,
compulsive thoughts of her getting in danger. So like door
dash will ring and she'll go, I'll get it, mommy,
and my heart starts going like as if there's a
(06:14):
rash of door dash people stealing ten year old autistic
girls from their home when they're delivering Chipotle. But still
I related so much to the intrusive thoughts, and it
was since I was a kid like yours will.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
Yeah, I think it's something everybody has, it's just some people,
yet it becomes a part of it stops.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
You from living a full life. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
I started around nine or ten and just would stay
up all night worrying about things that in retrospect are ridiculous.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Like, give me an example of when you were a
little girl, what was something that's stuck in your head?
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Yeah, so my sister gave me titty twisters. It was
a seventy so it was not personal.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
Sure I remember them well. Yeah, And I somehow got
it in my head.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
I thought, what, despite the fact it was done to me,
that I had no desire to do it to someone
else because I know how bad it feels. I know
plans to know, like, it wasn't a sociopathic desire to
I somehow got afraid that now I because I had
it in my head that I was going to be
out of control and I would twist the teats, break
(07:24):
off the breastacles, who the honkers of people that I
loved and cared about.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
So I would stay up all night and sit on
my hands to prevent myself from doing such a monstrous
thing my parents. When I told him about it, they
sent me to a faith based healer, which I love.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
A faith based therapist. They can really help people. This
one just gave me more things to worry about.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
Like Jesus and the Bible, for suddenly, have you ever
read the Bible? Very sexual, very violent?
Speaker 3 (07:55):
It is.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
It's not like casual, easy READO. It's not.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
And so then I started getting more obsessions of like
what if I kill my family? What if I you know,
I am a sex offender and I just don't know it now,
money tortured, It was just sure fault and it's very
or it's relatively common. If you do need help, please
go on IOCDF Foundation International CD Foundation has a lot
(08:23):
of free resources. It's all based on taboos, So whatever
in your culture is a taboo. At the time when
I was growing up, it was homophobia, so I was
afraid that I was gay, Like, but it's whatever it
is would be your worst case scenario. Afraida was gay,
Freda was a serial killer. Some people it's postpartum depression.
(08:45):
They can fear that they're going to harm their child.
And it's very difficult to share about because it, you know,
people can misunderstand it. I don't know if you've ever
seen a therapist and basically written them a check at
the end of the session for seventy five dollars to
call the cops on you because they are mandated reporters.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
Which I understood they're mandated reporters. Yeah, I understand, But
it is hard when you tell the truth to a
therapist and they come back with here's what I have
to do to you. Now you know that it really
really curtails what you're willing to share in the next session.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
You know, which OCD is a different thing. It's a
fear of doing a thing, and not that people who
have plans to do something or genuine you know, sociopathic
tendencies or are hurting someone shouldn't deserve help too. I
argue that people in our society, those people who are
genuinely harming people.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
Need even more help.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
But yes, without a doubt, I think that's also a
taboo subject where I mean, I think we've dealt with
this in the comedy community of like boy do. I
wish that was a real opportunity for a lot of
the unregistered sex offenders in our business. To talk about
it on stage. Tell us what the fuck is going
on in your mind?
Speaker 1 (10:00):
Man?
Speaker 2 (10:00):
You don't just talk about it or talk about what's
changed or if you've changed anything. And if you haven't changed,
please give us a heads up, yeah, warn us.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
Let us know. Really, Now, when you were a little
girl and this was happening and your parents were trying
to help you, obviously, and your sister was tormenting you,
did you get to suicide in your head ideation as
a young child, like at nine or ten years ten
years old?
Speaker 2 (10:30):
You know? Of course, I don't think anybody really understands
what death is, but the idea of death and like, oh,
I'd just like this to be over and life not
feeling great. And I think I've always had that, you know,
Like it's only been since I've been on meds where
I kind of understand when somebody.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
Says, you, guys, let's just have a really good time.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
Like I've never really understand what somebody said confidently we're
just gonna get away from the weekend and have a
great time.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
Like really, or are we just going to go to.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
A different set of circumstances that we'll have about the
same level of suffering.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
It's so true. You know, people try it all the time.
In AA they call it a geographic ra right when
you just think I'm just gonna move and everything's gonna
be better, because when I move, I'm not gonna take
any of me with me. And guess what. You keep
showing up, honey, you keep showing up. Now, how did
honestly a kid with now, although I can ask myself
(11:31):
the same question, but how did a kid with a
lot of mental illness issues bubbling up and showing themselves
early go into comedy? But then again, why did I
ask that question? Because all of us are like the
every comedian you're gonna find has a story like ours.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
I think, yeah, And I think your job or whatever
you path you've chosen in life really probably speaks to
a deep childhood need, whatever that was. I was definitely
very shy as a kid. My sister and my mom
were much more gregarious and really had better material. They
were very funny and and so.
Speaker 1 (12:07):
And they weren't even trying. They weren't even trying trying.
I tell you I had rehearsed my stuff, and.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
Yes, so also I love the elation, the chemical reaction
that comes from people paying attention to you. Uh, that
feels glorious to me even and I would argue a
little bit even to say, even if it is lightly negative,
even if I bomb, I do get sort of this,
And I don't know if it's the testosterone.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
In me of like, yeah, go to hell. Like when
I don't do well, I just brought it. Then I
brought it and you didn't deliver for me. Right more
with Maria Bamford right after this. You know, I started
(13:14):
at stand up when I was like sixteen, which is
crazy when I think back now as a sixty one
year old up on the stage trying to tell like,
you know, truths that people who paid money should listen to.
I was like the babysitter. Most of them left at
the house with their kids. But I would get up there,
and when I bombed, I remember thinking to myself, well,
(13:35):
these people just don't get it. They're going to feel
so stupid when I'm very successful and they I had
no ability to understand that. Partially it was me. I
always blamed the crowd, you know, which worked opposite ways too.
If I did really well, I thought, well, that was
just a hyper crowd. So I didn't take all of
(13:57):
the credit, but I took you know, a lot of
the blame is yeah, yeah, I mean, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
There's all these arguments within the art form of like
what comedy is and what's real comedy, and what's a
real comedian? Like is the person who makes everybody laugh?
Like is that the best comedian? Like you know, like, okay,
you you can go in anywhere you know, and you
can even if people don't speak the same language, you
(14:23):
can mime and make it work. And I am definitely
a hothouse flower. I only bloom under the most precious
of circumstances. And yes, I you know, I I love comedy,
I know, but I know where I'm gonna do very poorly,
and that's the Vegas Strip any net of the week,
(14:46):
three shows a night on Fridays.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
I'm great to Bob, I understand. Comedy shop at the Trap.
I remember that I used to perform there and it
was like four shows a day. You had to go
for three weeks. You stayed in the tiny little room.
I don't really, I mean when I think back now
on what we both did, because you know, I'm like
almost a decade older than you, But what we had
to do to break into comedy, to do the comedy
(15:12):
when there were so few women. I mean, did you
have that when you were coming up or were there
women that you look to and thought, that's what I
want to do, that, that's the kind of comedian I
want to be.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
There were definitely more women, like I know, Margaret Show,
Janine Garoslow were uh you know, so I feel like
there are more women, but there were still that. And
I feel like I was very privileged, uh white blonde,
Uh you know, I think adorable, adorable, high voice, you
(15:46):
still are. Anyone's going to love that unless they don't.
And and so it's really wonderful to see now. I mean,
they're just so much more representation and interesting ideas. Like
my favorite kind of comedy is when you're only talking
from your own experience, which I don't always do that,
(16:09):
but like not punching down or say like the people
saying what gender stuff, I just don't live them whatever,
Like it's not you don't have a dog in the fight,
Why do you?
Speaker 1 (16:23):
Why are you even talking about this? Like I so
so agree, And it's so offensive to me because some
of the most known people who do that also were
at one point, the most phenomenal comedians around. It's like,
I feel like some of them, I don't know why
(16:44):
I am trying to couch like Dave Chappelle. David Chappe
has been very open about his opinions, right, I think
he got stuck like a record when you were a kid,
skips on the trans stuff. He like his record skips
and so the beauty of all of his his pros
and his perspective, it's not so nuanced when it's something
(17:07):
that's out of his world. He doesn't have the experience.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
It would be really interesting for him to tell if
these are all my requests of comedians for if Luis
c tell me why what? What did that feel like?
Speaker 1 (17:23):
Like? What did that? What? Yes?
Speaker 2 (17:24):
Does it feel like in the moment? And how did
you rationalize that to yourself? Dave Chapel, what does it
feel like? What are the feelings are being brought up
by the fact that, uh, someone is trans and wants
to be talked about in different pronouns like what.
Speaker 1 (17:44):
What is it that you're so mad about? Like what?
I don't know? And what does it have to do
with you? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (17:53):
And I want to say I am not a great person.
You know I'm not in no way perfect. Please call
me out for every thing. I love to be told
that I have fucked up. I would like to learn, so,
you know, please tell me the because I know there's
tons of problematic material I have on my own albums
which I can't exactly exactly.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
Yeah, but you know, as we learn more, we do better,
right as you learn, because I mean, there are some
stuff I look at from my old stand up act.
But mind you, I started at sixteen. R What did
I have to really pontificate about? But you know, a
lot of it I look at now and go, how cringey.
I can't even bear to listen to it. I can't
(18:38):
bear that that came out of my mouth. But you know,
here we are, and I'm sixty one years old. Now,
I've been at that stand up game for many, many,
many years, and I'm wanting to get back into it now.
It's very interesting. You know, what's your favorite place to
work out new stuff? Well, I haven't done it in
(18:59):
so long because for ten years I've had this little
child and so I haven't been able to go out
at night. And then with the autism diagnosis, it you know,
makes routine really important. So our our nighttime routine from
dinner up until sleeping, which also is a little bit
of an issue. We have a specific routine so for
(19:20):
me to be out during that a couple nights a week,
which you know, you have to surf, you get to
get in the water. If you want to be a comic,
you got to go perform at a club, you know.
But Wendy Leebman is a friend from so many years ago,
and I think she's fantastic. I love her delivery, I
love her point of view, I love her love of
stand up. And she has a little club in the
(19:40):
valley that she does a night of stand up every week.
And so I wrote her and said, would you be
okay with me trying like twenty minutes of new stuff
about being the bomb of an autistic child, you know,
because there's so many magical moments in that Marina. It's
really something else. It really is quite interesting, and I've
(20:01):
never really seen it performed from that perspective, right, And
so I'm going to try to do that. And when
she goes to school, I said, you know, a couple
of nights, I'm going to go out and do some
stand up comedy and She's like, what nights? What nights, Mommy,
You're ruining my childhood mother, right, And then I go
(20:23):
through my intrusive thoughts. What if I'm not home there's
a fire, there was a fire in MAUI all those people.
I can't get that out of him. I can't stop
worrying about crises and the you know, the Trump thing,
and it's like over and over and over and over.
It's tiring. I have to say, it's tiring. While the
whole Trump thing was very kind of traumatic and obsessive
(20:46):
compulsive wise, I couldn't stop drawing pictures of him for
you know, literally, I'm going to send you some, Maria.
I have like thousands of paintings I made of him,
and then it would write like rapists on it or
you know, horrible trader. You know. I would write things
on the paintings. And that's when I started to be
(21:06):
treated for my OCD because the doctor said, Rosie, can
I see what you've been painting? And I showed him
the iPhoto folder and he said, we're going to get
you on some good medication that might help this, and
for real, and I will tell you the medication helped,
and what also helped was when the indictment started. I
felt like, now the government has taken control over this rogue,
(21:31):
crazy man, and we're going to have the systems hold
and he's going to be held accountable. And that, to
me is what I needed to stop the OCD about him.
Speaker 2 (21:41):
Yeah, well I'm very relieved. But yeah, the news it
does feel does feel terrifying and personal. It feels like
what can I can I do? And I think art
is a very good way to deal with it. Yeah,
(22:01):
that's the Trump thing has been just awful.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
Oh. I was gonna say what I've.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
Done to get myself to do stand up comedy because
I don't want to stay up at night.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
I gotta tell you, I understand that tool.
Speaker 2 (22:15):
There's a theater in my neighborhood and it's at a
strip mall as everything is in Los Angeles, between a
liquor store and a pizza place, and it's thirty seat
and I just did a.
Speaker 1 (22:27):
Show this morning. I do them at eight am, no kidding.
It's like an AA meetings. Everybody up and ready in
the morning.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
And there are plenty of people who are unemployed or underemployed,
especially during the strike, who have nothing to do it was.
Speaker 1 (22:41):
It's a freaking great crowd, no kidding. I've done like
five shows I think at eight am, and I cannot
recommend it enough. Wow. Well, maybe I will call you
and get all the details and then I can get
like a spot at ten. You know, I can open
for you at nine fifteen is oh lord?
Speaker 2 (23:02):
But I mean seriously, any place? I'm sure any but
where are you in La though? Where are you at?
Speaker 1 (23:08):
I'm in Santa Monica, but I used to work out
at the Improvum short. You know, I could go there
and ask, and you know, it's very funny to be
this age and to see the young kids waiting to
go on with such exuberance and such excitement in their
face and terror and nervousness, and remember that I was
(23:29):
that person. And then somebody like Jay Leno would walk
in and he'd bump everyone, and you see all of
us were way in our faces would go like, oh no,
but I don't want to be that one. I don't
want to be the one who goes you know, I
don't want to bump anything.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
And as he finishedould be doing a morning show. Have
done earlier shows at comedy clubs as well, and they
want to make money, so anything that.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
Yeah, they'll do it exactly.
Speaker 2 (23:55):
They'll serve curly fries and chicken strips at any hour
of the day. So but yeah, I have that same
thing too, where I don't want to bump anybody because
it is so monstrous when you've been thinking about your
uh set all week and then then I guess what,
guess who's here?
Speaker 1 (24:16):
Fuck yeah. And the fact that you know, Terry Seinfeld,
you could go anywhere, you know, and you could go anywhere.
Speaker 2 (24:24):
I mean again, uh yeah, I love I love to
see your documentary about comedy the Comedian.
Speaker 1 (24:32):
I thought that was a very uh trip. I really
enjoyed it.
Speaker 4 (24:36):
Work.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
Well, you know, we're so such interesting people like you know,
I mean when you read I hope everybody reads your book.
It comes out September fifth. Yes, it's so uh it's
so beautifully written. It's so honest, Maria. It's so uh
introspective and brutally beautiful, and I really really related to it.
(24:59):
I I thought it was just so unique. You never
hear anyone, especially a comedian, talking about their life in
that kind of way, and it's so helpful, I think
to everyone when anyone who has any kind of mental
health challenges, like myself, like you is able to speak
to it and kind of free the people listening in
(25:20):
fear who haven't yet given voice to what's been happening
inside their brain.
Speaker 2 (25:26):
You know, well, I do love that about comedy, about
like people talk about things that are not often talked
about or frightening or intense. And then yeah, it's something
to talk about on the way home with your friends
or your family if you've made the mistake of bringing
your family to a comedy club.
Speaker 1 (25:47):
Not a good choice ever, great choice now is what
is your husband?
Speaker 2 (25:53):
My husband's a painter, so he works from home, just
like me, and he loves he loves comedy, which is
a great boon. And we met on the internet. We've
been together ten years, married for nine and yeah, and
we've needed all the help, all the help. About three
(26:15):
months in we got a therapist. I don't know what
I'm doing. I still don't know what I'm doing, you know,
Like I don't have a insight into relationships, but uh yeah,
I've also I've never had a relationship where I've gone, oh,
I this is it, this is the one, you know,
(26:36):
I've never related with that part. So the thing. It
really connected. Me and my husband were like, let's do this.
You know we're going neither of us. We're both messes.
Speaker 1 (26:49):
Let's uh oh in a beautiful way though. I mean,
who most people are messes, but they don't want to
admit that.
Speaker 2 (26:57):
You know.
Speaker 1 (26:58):
So when you meet someone in your life that you're
connected to, that you're attracted to, that turns you on
go towards that. You know. But I think, do you
think there's any autism spectrum stuff going on with you? Maybe?
Speaker 2 (27:13):
I mean, yeah, that's my friend Jackiecasi of Comedian shows.
It says most comics are fighting the wind of autism.
Speaker 1 (27:20):
Uh, but so true, I think yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:23):
Because it's I do that feeling of safety, in the
control of being ample. I mean even within this that
I'm amplified, I'm lit, I'm you know, you know, we're
in a very secure dynamic if.
Speaker 1 (27:39):
Yeah, it feels very comforting. Stay tuned, we'll be back. Oh.
Speaker 2 (28:05):
I also, so, what were you paid, Rosie O'Donnell when
you first started out as a middle do you remember?
Speaker 1 (28:13):
I think you know what happened to me was kind
of interesting because I was very young, and then I
got on Star circ Yeah, in nineteen eighty four and
I was like twenty two or twenty one, and I
had done maybe four years of stand up still there,
you know, that's about it's a lot of stand up.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
Were you paid on the East Coast from sixty to twenty?
Speaker 1 (28:32):
Well, Shirley Hemphill from What's Happening, that large black woman
who was so funny on that show. She was the
headliner one weekend and I was doing the open mic
night and she happened to come into the club to
have dinner and she saw me and she said to
the owner, I want her to open for me, and
you're gonna pay her fifty dollars a set. And I
(28:53):
remember thinking at sixteen, that was more money than I
ever had in my life. And on one weekend I
made like three hundred dollars from her, And then I
got on Star Search and I kind of jumped from
an opening act to a headliner, so I kind of
missed the middling phase. Well, and that's so interesting.
Speaker 2 (29:13):
The fifty dollars that she got you per show is
the same amount people being paid today.
Speaker 1 (29:19):
Like, isn't that sick? Yeah? Like that has not changed.
Speaker 2 (29:24):
Or zero in fifty years and fifty years. Yeah, so
it's really weird. And that's one thing I mentioned in
the book. I liked doing open book accounting of like
what I earn as opposed to because you know, they
don't go out of their way to tell you, oh
the the whoever's open for you.
Speaker 1 (29:45):
It was making what they're making right, They ask them.
Speaker 2 (29:48):
And so now I mean I try to ask everybody
and then pay them an equivalent at least twelve hundred
a week depending on what I'm earning, you know, just
to make sure that I'm earning that much money too. Sure,
but I find that especially with comedy or any job
where there is in a union where negotiating for money
(30:14):
and I don't know if you've ever had to do
that as as a woman on your own.
Speaker 1 (30:18):
Two yes, for sure. And so many clubs, the woman
who does the billing, because it was often a woman
who kept the books, would come over to me and say,
you know, we had sell and so here last week
and they got double what you're getting, and you know,
and I had so many women come over and tell me.
(30:38):
So that's what helped me kind of ask for more.
And then I got a manager through Shirley hampel By
the way. It was her manager and she helped me
and he signed me, and then I had somebody to
negotiate for me, which was so much easier because you know,
when you're young and you want to get on stage,
you would pay them, right of course. Yes, it's still
(30:59):
the same people, do you know.
Speaker 2 (31:00):
It's like it's it's the same where people are delighted
and especially if they like your work, they're like.
Speaker 1 (31:06):
It's an honor to open for this person.
Speaker 2 (31:09):
And yeah, but it's it is fair.
Speaker 1 (31:12):
It feels bad, it feels good, and it's a.
Speaker 2 (31:14):
Reflection of what goes on in our society now where
there's these massive you know, people doing stadiums, you know,
and then is their openers getting one hundred and fifty
bucks you know, like right right, it's yeah, it's just interesting.
Speaker 1 (31:31):
Yeah, it's wrong and and and when it feels wrong
to you, you need to fix it. And that's what
you did. Yeah, and that's pretty amazing. A lot of people,
you know, don't even bother to think of the plight,
so to speak, of the up and coming people. But
I think, uh, for you and for me as well,
maybe I'm speaking at a turn we can remember so
vividly what it was like to get up there the
(31:54):
first time, what it was like to actually make money
during the you know, the the goal of being an
artist to be able to pay, be paid to try
to learn, you know, and you.
Speaker 2 (32:07):
Might not have to have a second job while doing comedy,
or second or third job while doing comedy.
Speaker 1 (32:15):
And yeah, I.
Speaker 2 (32:17):
Worked as a secretary for the first ten years of
doing comedy and so I which was great. I loved
I loved administrative assistance. It was good times. But yeah,
just I mean, it's the thing I think everyone's dealing
with with the gig economy of like having to negotiate
on your own behalf and right and even now, like
(32:39):
I need to do that, like by manager, I have
a manager, I have an agent. But I'm sure you
get this all the time in La, like.
Speaker 1 (32:48):
We love you. Could you come and do this thing
for no money? For nothing?
Speaker 4 (32:55):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (32:56):
I yes, Wow, I kind of can't, I know, and
you feel so bad, but you go no. You know,
It's funny. My brother is my manager of all my money,
and he's very good at it. But whenever I get
any offer, they send it to him as well. Oh nice,
And before I even have a chance to read you know,
he'll write back bullshit money no to the agent, you know,
(33:19):
with them copied on it. And it's unless he's like,
unless they're gonna pay you, there's no reason for you
to get involved. Why are you doing it? I'm like,
I you don't understand, Tim, You know, sometimes it's an honor,
sometimes it's but on the whole, I believe we should
all be paid for when we're doing our job that
we learned through years of doing it for nothing.
Speaker 2 (33:40):
Yeah, and it's one thing. If it's if I want
to do it, if it's going to be super fun,
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (33:46):
I love open mics. I will do an open mic
any night of the week. I enjoy it.
Speaker 2 (33:51):
Last time I went to the open mic in my neighborhood,
I saw an older black man do a rhyming act
that was not only misogynist, but body positive. That's the
kind of that's the kind of beauty you're going to see.
But if somebody wants me to do a benefit, I benefits.
Speaker 1 (34:12):
What they turn out to be.
Speaker 2 (34:13):
They're far too long because they're going to book everybody,
and then it ends up being a hostage situation where
you're suffering on behalf of Parkinson's through.
Speaker 1 (34:27):
A comedy show. Let's stop stop madness. I understand, I
so get it. Honey. Let me ask you about this book.
Did you go to them and say, I got a
lot of things I want to write down. Did they
come to you and say, will you write a book
for us?
Speaker 2 (34:41):
Mayrie offered me one hundred and fifty thousand dollars book deal,
and I said, well, I like money. And then after
getting the initial money, which is about forty seven thousand dollars,
then I read the contract and that what happens with
the book deal don't know is you get a chuck
(35:02):
of change to start it. Then three years later when
and it's not when you think the book is done,
it's when they think the book is done. You get
an under fifty thousand dollars. If they don't think the
book is done or they don't like the book that
you've written, you have to pay that money back, the
initial money that you've received back, which in effect, you've
(35:24):
paid fifty thousand dollars to find out that you didn't
want to write a book.
Speaker 1 (35:30):
No, is that fair anywhere? Let's just do the vamp.
That doesn't sound fair.
Speaker 2 (35:33):
But then I'll get another fifty thousand dollars when it
comes out on softcover, and that will be delight when
that happens. But that was interesting to find out about
a book deal. It's a slow burn. It's a seven
year situation.
Speaker 1 (35:49):
Really, that's the start to finish seven years for me.
Speaker 2 (35:52):
This is we're going in on four years. Then I
assume the softcover won't come out for I would think
a couple of years.
Speaker 1 (35:58):
So I just think, uh no, I think it's a
year later later. Okay, maybe tighter turn around. There you go.
Did you enjoyed writing the book? Did you find it
healing or helpful? It was? It was There was moments
of giggles. Uh.
Speaker 2 (36:14):
My favorite parts were I got to read it out
loud of different friends. I paid my friends. Again, if
you live in an asor any major city and you own.
Speaker 1 (36:22):
A house, pay your friends.
Speaker 2 (36:25):
All my friends that pay them one hundred and twenty
five bucks an hour if they're doing something for me
that is professional. And they were listening to my books,
So that that part was fine when I got some laughs.
The parts that were hard was then when people, the
editors would say, oh, we need more or less, or
this we don't like.
Speaker 1 (36:44):
We didn't like this part? Can you take that out? Yeah?
Gets old? Yeah exactly, you get so mad t Rex
arms to get t Rex arm.
Speaker 2 (36:52):
Yeah, because that's you know, that's the whole reason you
start doing stand up is that no one can tell
you what to do.
Speaker 1 (36:59):
And uh, at least that's how why I decided. I
just that's how I felt too. When you're up there,
you're the director, the writer, the producer, everything. You're the
sound person. You decide where to put the mic, how
to hold them up here. It's like you're in total control.
It's it's a wonderfully freeing way to work as an artist. Yeah.
And if you run out the door, you don't even
(37:20):
have to hear the reviews. What about the review that
Stephen Colbert gave you my favorite comedian on Planet Earth? Right?
Isn't that come on? I mean, what did that? Where
were you and how did it feel?
Speaker 2 (37:35):
I don't know, it felt insane? He said it backstage
is coming out on the show, and I was like,
what is happening?
Speaker 1 (37:46):
What? But very grateful now.
Speaker 2 (37:50):
Of course, a few years later he did say she's
one of my favorites, which is.
Speaker 1 (37:54):
A precipitous drop, Rosie. Yes, it certainly is There's no
way to avoid looking at that and saying I have
fallen his graces in some capacity.
Speaker 2 (38:06):
Oh but yeah, no, I've got uh yeah, lots of
support from the comedy community. Uh some jet app to
how uh uh yeah, mat surewitz been extremely sort of
a my career.
Speaker 1 (38:25):
You know, I'm done.
Speaker 2 (38:26):
I have succeeded by beyond my wildest dreams. Now it's
just time to uh get a daily peanut buster parfe
and fall into a pillow.
Speaker 1 (38:37):
I understand, you know, I feel the same way about
my career, and like people saying what do you want
to do, I'm like, everything I've wanted to do I
have gotten to do. I have had an unbelievably fortuitous career.
Is that even the right word. It's unbelievable to me
what I've been able to. You know, people, what do
you want to do next? I'm like, whatever happens. I'm
(38:58):
open for whatever happened. I'm not looking to you know, boy,
if I could only get people to know my kind
of personality, No, they know it. You know, you're a
known identity, You're a known quantity. And you are too right,
You're a known you know what you're gonna get when
you get a Maria booking, Yes, don't you think, Oh
my god?
Speaker 2 (39:16):
Yes, and so maybe time to book somebody else, is
what I That's what I always say.
Speaker 1 (39:23):
You're so generous to the other comedian. Why are you
booking me? I've been here long enough, don't you know
these bits?
Speaker 2 (39:31):
Yeah, I'm trying to Yeah, I'm trying to write a
new hour of material.
Speaker 1 (39:36):
Good for you now. Twenty minutes is my goal to
make the new twenty minutes because I feel like if
I take on the chunk of an hour, which you know,
people don't realize takes a long time to write an hour,
to get an hour edited and cut down and concise
and to the punchline as quick as possible, and people
don't understand the amount of work it takes, like it's
(39:57):
like sculpting something out of stone.
Speaker 2 (39:59):
No. I had somebody come to my morning show who said, so,
these are the same kind of three premises you've been
working on.
Speaker 1 (40:08):
I mean, like the past several shows. This is kind
of all you have. Like, Yeah, how nice, Yeah, thanks
for coming, Thank you for talking to me after the show.
I hope you're at all my shows. Come on, what
kind of bullshit? Is that you know, you take the
clay that is your life and you rework it into
different things A bowl, a cup, a play. You know,
(40:30):
you you work the clay that is your life. What
does she want for you to get someone else's experience? Yeah?
I wish I had? Uh you know? Do want? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (40:41):
Taking tumbling classes? Is that my next thing? Do I
need to interest you with.
Speaker 1 (40:47):
A roller skilled yoga tea by Maria Yes exactly. Let
me tell you about how I felt when I started yoga.
I mean, I don't know. I think you always rework
your your life experiences into something more beautiful and more
more profound as you get older and as you get
more skilled at doing it, and you know the only
(41:07):
way to really do it is to show up and
do it. And and that's what I'm The book made
me excited, your book, I'll happily join your culture.
Speaker 2 (41:18):
Children, and I yeah, yeah, I think it. But it's
always embarrassing, that's the thing. And it's very embarrassing to
go out with new new stuff and then people go,
hmmm that, especially Los Angeles people are like, is.
Speaker 1 (41:32):
That it is that all saw that your last special
had little inklings of that? Oh? Shut up. You know
Picasso too much blue? Okay, you like I should listen
to you, but you know you do it. You do it,
and you hone it the best you can and you
know it's funny. I've been obsessive, compulsively watching all of
(41:52):
the survival shows on TV, with the exception of Naked
and Afraid, because I think it's gratuitous nudity and I
don't need people to have bug bites over every part
of their body. But I've been watching these other show
It's like Alone where they go in the woods. Oh,
isn't that something that show? How long do you think
(42:12):
you could last? In the current season in Saskatchewan. I
would vote myself off before I got off the helicopter,
you know, like they drop you. I would be like, sorry,
I'm tapping out, where's the phone? No, I couldn't do it, Maria.
I think they should have one for celebrities where you
have to stay in a motel six for a month
and you get to have you know, uh, and there
(42:34):
are no whatever minimum wage and they're no minimum wage. Yeah,
there's no camera. You have to write an essay every
night about what it feels like and then people will
judge whether or not your essay was good enough, and
then you get voted out of the Motel six. I
don't know. I mean, I could never do it, but
I love watching it. I love thinking looking what people
come up with. I love you know, there's something about
(42:57):
starting with nothing and making something and the combination of
watching alone and reading your book. As I was on
vacation last week and I was like, I want to
start doing stand up again. I want to start. Oh
my god, Yeah, it was you inspired me. You and
Wendy leave Me and Kathy Griffin truthfully, because she's constantly
on tour. That that Kathy Griffin doesn't give up. Man,
(43:18):
you know she's going to Vegas. Yeah right, my lord,
what she's gone through and also what she is achieving now,
she's you know, at the Mirage selling out the Mirage.
Isn't that great?
Speaker 3 (43:32):
You know?
Speaker 1 (43:32):
Hey, I have to do just you just keep going.
That's uh, that's the key from what I've hence the
title of this podcast, Onward, No matter what happens, people,
we got one choice. Onward, Okay, no going back. Onward. Well,
I think that you're delightful. You're so smart, you're so honest,
(43:53):
and you're so in touch with who you are and
what your brain is doing at different times that it's
inspiring to watch you perform because it's never ever a
standard performance. You bring your own stamp of Maria on
everything that you do, and that's the mark of a
wonderfully talented comic that you can tell you know that
(44:15):
is her. It's been lovely to talk to you. Thank
you for doing my podcast. I've been admiring of yours
for so many years and I'm so happy that we
got to check. Thank you, Thanks so much. Thank you
Maria for being here, and everybody go buy her book
that comes out September fifth. All right, we'll see you
and we'll be right back. Hey, everybody, we're going to
(44:55):
take some questions now from you, the loyal listeners. Thank
you for listening. By the way, we got one coming up.
Let's sit it.
Speaker 3 (45:02):
Good morning, Rosie. My name is Tom. I'm calling from
the Land of ten Thousand Lakes in Minnesota. Really enjoy
your podcasts, and I really enjoyed the conversation you've had
with Marcy Marie Simmons. Boy, that really helped for me
to reframe how I view certain people, certain situations, and
(45:27):
so I really appreciate that gift you gave to me,
and I know too many people you have these conversations
that are filled with heart and compassion, and it really
made an impact. Say, I've been in the broadcast industry
nightly news anchor for a couple of decades here in
(45:47):
Minnesota and throughout the Midwest, and these days, you know,
it's easy to get overwhelmed with the news and things
that are happening in this tree and around the globe.
I'm curious what do you do to find your center
of gravity? For me, it's family, faith, pulling a chair
(46:11):
up behind or beneath a tree by a lake, and
reading a really good book. What do you do? Where
do you find your center of gravity these days? Rosie?
Thanks for all your work and really appreciate the podcast.
Speaker 1 (46:25):
Thank you so much, Honey. That's so nice of you.
And I hope when I'm in Minnesota the next time,
I'm going to get to watch your newscuest because I
will look for you. You know, what do I do
similar to what you do? A good book always helps
for me, art, doing art or ingesting art, watching a
great documentary, you know, doing a painting, mostly hanging out
(46:46):
with my ten year old. You know, Dakota is a
very verbal, very inquisitive, curious child, So they keep me
on my toes. I can tell you that for sure.
And also so the beach. I love to be near
the ocean. I love to look out there and reframe
(47:08):
you just how important things are in my life. When
you consider that ocean is so huge and you can't
see what's beneath it, and all of a sudden, you know,
a dolphin will pop up and you're given this magical
moment of wonder. It's definitely nature, it's definitely people, and
(47:29):
it's definitely art, and you know, mindfulness, all of those things,
all of those things. But my main joy in life
is humans. You know. I love people. I love to
know their story. I love to sit and have a conversation.
And I'm glad that you appreciate that here on my podcast.
Thank you so much for leaving a message. I really
(47:52):
do appreciate it. We have another question I understand hit it.
Speaker 4 (47:55):
Hi Rosie. My name is Anna, I'm forty and I'm
a lawyer. And I recently listened to your episode where
you had the Weight Loss Doctor on and you talked
about your personal experience with Monjarro. First, I just want
to thank you for having episodes like that. I think
it's important to talk about obesity and medical treatment for
obesity because people shouldn't be ashamed when they're trying to
seek remedies or obesity, which is a disease that is not,
(48:20):
you know, necessarily their fault. However, I was a little
bit surprised that you guys didn't talk about the side
effects or the negatives to going on these some aglotides.
I know there's a lot of litigation going on regarding
these drugs and how they cause stomach paralysis or paralyzed
you know, part of the gastrointestrinal track as a result
(48:42):
of using them, and the manufacturers simply, you know, didn't
tell people that this could be a side effect. And
then just last month, the American Academy of Antesesiologists put
out a warning about these types of drugs, saying that
people are vomiting when they're undergoing surgery, even if they're
adhering to the fasting rules prior to the surgery. So
(49:04):
I just wanted to, you know, bring a little bit
of balance. You know that these drugs are not a panacea.
They can be helpful obviously in the appropriate situations, but
I just thought it was important to note that there
are some very very severe side effects that can occur
as a result of taking these drugs, and people shouldn't
take them lightly. They should see a real doctor instead
of you know, buying it off of Facebook or wherever
(49:27):
you know, a sketchy source. You know, you want to
see somebody who's can treat the real you and the
all your other medical conditions besides obesity, and really think
about it before going on these types of drugs and
what types of alternatives there are. And just as a
side note, I also, you know, being forty and looking,
you know, towards the aging part of my life and
(49:48):
trying to prepare myself for what's coming ahead. And I
just wanted to say, you know, how much I appreciate
you being open about menopause and things like that, and
I'm glad somebody is talking about that because you know,
I have no idea what to expect or when it
happens or anything like that. So I just wanted to say,
love that content, and hope you have more content about
(50:09):
women aging and what your experience has been and have
guests on to talk about their experience. I think that
that's great content that's missing on other podcasts. Thank you,
have a great day.
Speaker 1 (50:20):
Thank you for what a wonderful in depth question and comment.
I'll start first with the menopause one, because that was
the last thing you said, so it's in my head. Yeah,
I agree, menopause is something we have to talk about more,
and that's a wonderful idea. Maybe I'll just you know,
ask people to write in if they have had a
(50:41):
severe bout with menopause or just a typical one. Mine
started at forty and it was horrific. It was so
horrible I can't even tell you, and no one warned me.
I felt very much hit by, you know, a moving
truck like I didn't expect to. I wasn't even on
a street. I just was like bam, you know. And
the hot flashes are hotter than you can imagine to
(51:04):
be walking in the mall or you know, target for me,
and my whole back looked like I had jumped in
a pool and boy, it was difficult. But that's a
wonderful idea for another show. So we will definitely do that.
Thank you for that. And as for the Manjaro one.
You know, here's the thing. I had no side effects zero.
Now I have just been given a dose for the
(51:27):
five point zero, which is doubling how much I have
taken this far, And should any side effects come up,
I will definitely talk about them on here. I think
because I had none. In the same way with menopause,
I had a lot. I like to talk about all
of the symptoms and stuff that I had during menopause,
but because I had none during my Munjaro journey so far,
(51:51):
I didn't even think to bring it up. But yes,
I've read those stories. I've talked to my doctor about them.
She said, you're fine. You are on a very low dose.
We're going to move you up to five point zero.
See how that works. Don't worry. You're not in danger
of any of these things. And you know, I'm gonna
listen to her. I'm gonna believe her. So I don't know.
I'm sorry that I didn't do that. In some ways
(52:14):
and in other ways, I don't know how to talk
about an experience I haven't had particularly, But it should
have been a topic that we brought up. You're right,
we maybe missed that, But the truth of the matter
is I haven't had any side effects so far. To me,
it has been a miracle drug. It doesn't change everything,
but it changes enough that your body can almost reregulate itself.
(52:37):
And I don't know. I'm a firm supporter, but as
for me, my Munjaro journey so far has been fabulous
without side effects. So thank you very much for the question.
I appreciate that, and look out for that. Menopause. As
I said, mine started at forty and pretty much ended
at like forty eight. I mean it was eight years
a hell, honey, So hold on, hold on. Thank you
(53:00):
so much for the voice memos and everybody. Next week.
Lena Waite, Boy, did I love talking to her. I
admire her so much. I think she's so unique and
so smart and so beautiful and I had a great time.
I mean, she's an Emmy Award winning writer, creator, producer, actor.
(53:21):
She taps into emerging trends socially. She speaks to a
myriad of experiences from her unique perspective while challenging audiences
to think outside of conventional norms. I think you're gonna
love it. Look for that on Tuesday and have a
wonderful week. We will see you then. Onward,
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