January 9, 2024 • 46 mins
Ricki Lake and Rosie chat and giggle about sex, drugs and hosting talk shows! Just say YES Nancy Reagan!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Well, hey, everybody, it's me Rosi o'donald and you have
found my podcast Onward with Rosio o' donald. So you
know the show Love on the Spectrum. It's been on
and a few iterations. It was a British show or
an Australian show, and then they made a US version
and it's an amazing show about people on the spectrum
(00:33):
of all ages, most of them in their twenties or thirties,
trying to figure out love and life and the world,
you know, and if you have an autistic person in
your life, it is just even if you don't, it
is just the most beautiful show to watch. So one
of the men on there, Michael, who is very charming
(00:57):
and very lovely, he found me on Instagram and we've
been dming and he asked me if I wanted to
go on Instagram live for Love on the Spectrum, first
one that they're doing live.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
I said sure, So I popped on.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
Luckily I figured out how to get on there and
there they were, the whole cast, and we just talked
for like a little over an hour and it was
so much fun and it was so heartwarming the questions
that they were asking me.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
The facts that they knew about me.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
And as I'm reading the comments, as I'm commenting, I
see Ricky Lake.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
It says, Ricky Lake.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
Hey, ro I think this is so adorable, and I'm like,
of course Ricky Lake would find her way in here.
I love Ricky Lake, and I love that she was
watching and appreciated just how amazing it was to see
that and to participate in that. So I don't know,
I just it was like be shared, you know, a
Jewish word meaning meant to be that. I got a
(01:57):
little Ricky Lake last night, and I'm presenting to you
our conversation from a couple of weeks ago. We've been
friends a long time, but I don't have to tell
you anything because frankly, it's all in this conversation. So
sit back, relax, and enjoy my friend, Ricky Lake. I'm
(02:24):
here with my good friend Ricky Lake.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
Hi, Ricky Lake, Hi Rosie, here in person. I love
you. You're the best you are. I've learned from you.
Speaker 4 (02:31):
I feel like I've admired you long before I actually
knew you.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
You know, when I was thinking today in the way
over here, when was the first time that we actually
like chatted and talked.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
I think it was right.
Speaker 5 (02:42):
Before we went to the the Can we say what movie? Yes, hey,
oh hey, that's yeah, that's Dolly, which was my childhood nickname.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
That's okay, dog can bark.
Speaker 4 (02:57):
She will if she sees seagulls, she will go see
go see.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
I think when we went to see that Wayne's World
in the Valley, in the Valley because way I had
met you at like a Denny's or something. Remember you
were sitting in the back. Can you remember everything? I
know I've taken ambient periodically in my life. Yes, I
don't remember details, but I remember going to the movies
with you in the Valley.
Speaker 4 (03:22):
It was in Studio City. We walked out, Yes, it
was horrible. I could have watched the whole movie. And
I was like, do you want to stay for this?
And you were like no, And so then we went
out and we had lunch. Right, yeah, do you remember
what we ate now?
Speaker 2 (03:35):
No?
Speaker 1 (03:36):
But I do remember you saying to me, I'm going
to go to New York and do a talk show.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
And I remember thinking, how do you do a talk show?
How would you like? And I at the time there
was no one but Oprah.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
It was all Oprah. All the time, right, everybody else
was getting beat.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
Up on TV.
Speaker 4 (03:51):
This was in nineteen ninety ninety two. It was I
got the pilot for the show, and I remember years
later you came to me and asked, you want to
know what.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
The drill was? Like, how's it work?
Speaker 4 (04:02):
Beause they were talking to you, Right, my show is
obviously a huge hit, And I told you it's told
you my workload. Yep, you ended up with a much
better deal than I did. Yes, but I'm not complaining.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
No, you did very well for yourself.
Speaker 3 (04:14):
I did well.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
We were at Ricky's gorgeous house in Malibu here up
on a mountain overlooking the Pacific Ocean, which the most
beautiful floral garden, the design I've ever seen in the house.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
It's gorgeous. It's a beautiful place.
Speaker 3 (04:29):
And it took a lot to get to that spot.
Speaker 4 (04:31):
Yeah, it took you like eight years to make ext
I have to find it and then build it. There
was one thing after another that my partner, Christian Evans
passed away halfway through building the house. And the goal
was never to be on a mountaintop by myself. You know,
he and I were gonna the idea I was living
in Brentwood. Have you ever been to my Brentwood house?
Robin and Rozanne our dear friend, you know, she says
(04:52):
that's like her favorite house ever it was.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
Is this the one that you sold it to? Somebody
who turned it quick flipped it? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (04:58):
I mean you're still mad at go Toby McGuire.
Speaker 4 (05:01):
Tob I bought it from Courtney Cox, so like name
dropping galore bought it from Courtney Cox. She has great taste.
It was a fucking killer house and can I say
fuck on.
Speaker 3 (05:11):
Your yeah, okay, okay. And then I lived there for
like eleven or twelve years and sold.
Speaker 4 (05:16):
I was ready to downsize, but not downsize because of
financial means. It was like I wanted a smaller piece
of property in house because that was like seven thousand.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
Square feet it was.
Speaker 4 (05:26):
It was a lot of house, and I wanted to
get a place in a visa and get a smaller
place here and be on the water, like overlooking the water.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
I sold it to Toby maguire.
Speaker 4 (05:36):
He painted it white and dressed it like staged it
white and flipped it a year later for two million more.
I'm not mad, I'm over it. I'm totally over it
good for him.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
Yeah, it's amazing what people can see and people who
have that natural talent of looking at a house and
knowing like, which I think you do. Oh, I'm going
to knock out this wall. I'm going to put this here. Yeah,
that's not my thing at all. I have to go
in and see it done.
Speaker 4 (06:00):
Really, you can't want a project, Okay, another house on
my street is not for you.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
Well, I don't think I have the ability to have
the patience to like, wait and when I walk into
a house and see what I naturally like, which is white,
over stuffed furniture and shabby chrome. Shabby sheek is me
and chrome. It was because the first kind of rich
person's house I ever really went to was Madonna's in Miami, Okay,
(06:26):
and I walked in and that's how it was. It was,
you know, the nineties. It was like ninety two or something,
and I was like, Okay, if I ever get successful,
this is what I will do.
Speaker 3 (06:36):
Weren't you successful at that time?
Speaker 2 (06:37):
When you know, No, I was a stand up comic.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
He won Star Search.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
I No, I didn't win.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
Okay, I came in second, and me and Sinbad didn't
win that year.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
Oh, that's right. Do you know he's had a bad stroke.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
Oh no, Yeah, he's sadly been kind of incapacitated for
two or three years trying to cope with this horrible
stroke and relearning how to talk and walk. And they
have a GoFundMe set up for him because uh, you know,
the medical bills are extraordinary. But it's so sad to think,
you know, somebody our age boom, you know, taken out
(07:13):
of the key is.
Speaker 4 (07:13):
I mean he is what sixty sixties?
Speaker 2 (07:17):
Right?
Speaker 3 (07:18):
Yeah, I'm fifty four. Oh you're just a baby, yeah right, yeah?
Speaker 4 (07:21):
Six years getting better with age, sure.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
And I feel the same way. I feel such a
calmness about my life and a lack of thinking there's
somewhere I have to get, you know.
Speaker 4 (07:33):
Yeah, And I think we are lucky because we've we've
had a lot. I mean, I could speak for myself,
I assume for you, but I've achieved. I've like proven
myself to me and like I love the work I
put out. I love the documentary work I do. Yeah,
a brilliant job at those thank you. I mean, I
just feel like I've made my mark in the world.
I've you know, I've made an impact. I want to
(07:53):
do more. I'm not done, but I'm not driven by
like staying relevant or having more money like that is
not It's about quality of life with my new husband,
who I'm.
Speaker 3 (08:04):
So madly in love with.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
I'm in love with him too, just so you know,
said you said goodbye.
Speaker 4 (08:09):
Yes, he's he is so special and I deserve him
like that's the piece of it that I think for
so long in my life, being a fat girl, being
you know, not the object of affection for so many
and you know, having.
Speaker 3 (08:22):
Love, like having deep love.
Speaker 4 (08:23):
But I think coming into my own and really loving
myself is very new. Yes, And I think I would
not have been able to call in this quality of
man had I not felt the way I did about myself,
you know.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
Yes, And how did you get there? Rick? Because you
were heavy your whole childhood? Right, you were always the
big girl.
Speaker 4 (08:40):
No, I was sexually molested as a little girl, and
I was as well. Yes, I think I knew that
I was six years old, and that was when I
started turning to food and my mother didn't know how
to handle it. She had her whole own eating disorder,
and you know, so the more she would be harping
on me because I was an embarrassment to her. It's
such a like an ironic situation because my mom, who
(09:02):
I don't have a relationship with.
Speaker 3 (09:04):
Yes, not, for many many years.
Speaker 1 (09:07):
You went no contact. Before there was a thing of
going no contact, was there? Now there came a thing
where where kids or adults who have, you know, people
in their life, you have to go no contact. Really,
and that's what they call it, you know when you
see on TikTok or whatever. I don't do TikTok, so
I know I got to get you onto that. But
it really is like crack poison. Not that I've ever
(09:27):
done crack, but what my impression is, No I haven't.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
That's scary of me.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
But you're much more adventurous in your drug world I
ever was.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
But not to crack. I want to let's be clear.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
No meth, no crack, no hero no.
Speaker 4 (09:42):
And I think no TikTok for me because I can't.
It's too frustrating. I mean, I watch you when I
see it mostly on Instagram, your stuff, right, but I
don't have the patience.
Speaker 3 (09:51):
And yeah, it's just yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
It is really something that is so addictive and probably
so damaging to society. As a whole, and years to come,
we're going to find out just how much damage it caused,
you know.
Speaker 4 (10:04):
And you have a young child still that's you know,
do you let her prosy?
Speaker 1 (10:08):
Because she has autism and such a specific interest, she
doesn't know anything about communicating with other people unless you're
in the game of Roadblocks and then you can only
type right, right, So her world revolves around her video games.
But you know what it's done to fame in a
(10:30):
way that your celebrities that you love and adore, your
stars are accessible. Possibly I would have never left school
if there was a chance that Barbara Streissan could have
seen anything I wrote to I would have been writing
her every day. Yeah, you know, I used to write
when I didn't know where to send the letters. When
(10:50):
I was a kid. I'd get the album Columbia Records,
and I'd send it to Columbia Records.
Speaker 3 (10:55):
Did you ever get an answer back?
Speaker 2 (10:57):
But of course not.
Speaker 3 (10:58):
She was the biggest your own show.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
Correct.
Speaker 3 (11:00):
The only time you met her was on your show.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
And I remember I was nominated for an Emmy in
the same category as her once, Okay, And I was
at the Emmy sitting in the front row and She
walked by me and she said, oh, congratulations, I hear
you very funny, and I was like, yes, nice to
meet you. And you know, they did the categories. It's like,
you know, these stars and then this upcoming young comic
(11:23):
that nobody had heard of. What year is this, God almighty,
it was probably ninety wow. So before your talk show,
and I remember when you got her on your show.
She came on just once.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
No. I ended up doing a bunch with her. I
went to her house.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
I remember when you flipped the set right, Yes, of course,
in two months in advance, I flipped the set for her.
But you know, listen, there was nothing she could have
done that I wouldn't do to accommodate her. I feel
so much indebted to her for inspiring me to be
myself and think I could do it. She sounded like me,
(11:58):
not her vocally, of course, but she had the New
York accent. She looked familiar. She I don't know, and
her brilliance is unparalleled. And it kills me now, Ricky
that some of my kids and stuff, and you know,
my nieces, they go who and I go, oh my.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
You know.
Speaker 1 (12:17):
My friend's son said to her yesterday the sun's sixteen
and she's about fifty, and she says the son says
to her, who's this lady chair? No, chare you know
they all in Malibu? Yes, I should all have lunch.
We should have a little part.
Speaker 3 (12:33):
Are you in touch with her? Like, can you go over?
Have you been to her house?
Speaker 5 (12:35):
No?
Speaker 1 (12:36):
I haven't been to her house, but we're sometimes in
touch on text.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
And I love her.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
I've always loved her, but I don't bother her because
I know she's a very insular person.
Speaker 3 (12:44):
Can you be normal with her?
Speaker 1 (12:46):
Like, I mean, yes, hey, don't go away. There's more
after this with Ricky Lake.
Speaker 4 (13:08):
Okay, my edible is starting to kick in right now.
So I'm like sitting across from you, so like you're
my friend and I consider you like a dear friend,
someone I really look up to, and I really know
you like they know each other.
Speaker 3 (13:18):
But then there's also like.
Speaker 4 (13:19):
Holy shit, I'm doing Rosie O'donnald's podcast, Like there's still
that now.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
Do you know that I never believe that anyone thinks
that about me?
Speaker 4 (13:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
I have never felt like part of the people that
I interviewed and got to be in their orbit. I
never felt their equal. I always knew I was visiting,
I had a visa. I had to feel that way too.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
Yes, so it shocks.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
Me that anyone feels that way about me.
Speaker 3 (13:43):
Yeah, but you're beloved, like you're just You're just beloved.
Speaker 4 (13:46):
And I think I am too, you know. I think
people feel like they know us, say trust us. What
we have, we expose ours. I mean, I've been so
transparent about every part of my journey.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
Which is why I love you so much. I think
that's I don't know how to be. It's me too,
I don't know how else to be. Some people say,
even in my family, why do you share so much?
I'm like, why don't you share so much? Yeah, like,
if you would tell me your feelings and what upsets
you and what you're passionate about.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
We would get to be so much closer.
Speaker 3 (14:16):
I agree.
Speaker 4 (14:17):
I mean, I just I've always been this way, and
maybe it starts from John Waters picking me to be
Tracy Turnblad when I was eighteen, so I was really
like who I was was cherished, you know, from the
start of my career, and then once I did the
talk show. I mean, I'm being me, like, I'm just
you know, speaking to real people. I mean, your show
is all celebrities, mind was real people talking about relationship issues,
(14:38):
and I was super interested in that, like very curious.
I'm still curious about relationships and people and humanity and
what people will say and do on camera off camera.
I mean, I'm still that same person that did my show.
And it was a grind, as you know. I mean
it was a grind. We had to do one hundred
and ninety five a year, but I loved it. You know,
(15:00):
I don't want to do anymore.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
No, I don't either. I don't think I could.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
You know, there's something about your innocence and your youth
when you go in they're blind and you don't really
know what it is. Yeah, but in the midst of
that kind of popularity and fame, I kind of was unmoored.
Speaker 3 (15:16):
Yeah, and you were raising kids.
Speaker 4 (15:19):
Yes, Yeah, that's why I feel and I know I'm
jumping around, but like where I am now, my kids
are out of the house, they're on their own, My
husband's kids are out of that like it's like me time,
and I feel like we've regressed, like we've become kids again.
And the response, I mean, they still have responsibility, but
I don't do the grind of a show every day,
and I'm not, you know, doing carpool like you are.
Speaker 3 (15:41):
It's it's it's a joy.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
It really is.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
And I think that when you get to be sixty,
when you really you know, six years for you. I
turned sixty last March, and I really felt like God,
I have entered the third chapter of the book of
my life, and there's only three. If you're lucky, you
get three chapters.
Speaker 3 (16:02):
Yeah, and your mom died when she was.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
What thirty nine?
Speaker 4 (16:05):
Geesus. Yeah, that's got a fuck with your head. I mean,
when you were thirty nine, it must have been a trip, right.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
You know what happened? I got that staph infection. Yeah,
when I was thirty nine, and my mother died at
forty and I was thinking, I'm not going to survive this.
And I think I had made that hurdle so huge
in my mind that almost I kind of manifested this
near death experience at the same age that she was.
And you know, they came and told me, we're going
(16:32):
to have to amputate your wrist or your fingers tomorrow.
And then this nurse at the hospital poured this Chinese
herbs and said, don't tell doctor, don't tell doctor. Poured
these herbs and the next day the doctor came in
and said it started to heal. And she's just sitting
there and I was like, looked at her. Afterwards, I
said to her, what can I do for you? Is
(16:52):
there anything you need? Where do you live?
Speaker 3 (16:54):
On your house? I'm sure?
Speaker 2 (16:55):
Well that's what I.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
Wanted to do, right I wanted to buy her a
house or a car or She said, I want you
to do one thing for me, Rosie. I'm like, what's
in a very very thick Asian accent, like really beautiful,
And she said.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
I want you to pray to Jesus Christ right now.
And I said, you got it.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
And she held my hand and she said talk to
God in a way that I hadn't heard someone talk
to God ever. Really, because you know Catholic churches, it's
not exactly a Baptist church where people are screaming and telling.
It's the most boring thing you ever sit through in
your week, and you try to avoid it at all costs.
You know, I would hide at Jackie's pool. Yeah, hear
(17:37):
my mother rose that and they go off to church
without me knowing. I was hiding somewhere.
Speaker 3 (17:43):
Wow, that woman saved your.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
Hand, save my hand.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
And then when I got out of the hospital, I
still had my show. I was just thirty nine. When
I got out of the hospital. I kept seeing people
with one hand missing.
Speaker 4 (17:55):
Yeah, that's kind of when you're pregnant. You see pregnant
people everywhere. Yes, wow, yeah, I remember when you were
wearing that splint for a really long time.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
Last six months. I had a staff and figured, look
all the way to hear.
Speaker 3 (18:06):
Do you still have full mobility or like you never.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
This finger doesn't work.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
My middle finger on my left hand, I have no
grip strength, Like I can't grab anything like this. So
sometimes I do movies or I'm doing it and I go,
hey can I and it looks like the people off.
Speaker 3 (18:22):
Oh my gosh. And that was from you.
Speaker 1 (18:25):
Falling with I had on the night of the George
Bush election coverage. He was speaking and giving his and
I went fishing with Kelly. That's right, and I cut
a little tiny hole, punctured it, taken off the fishing pole,
price tag, punctured my middle finger and nothing hurt.
Speaker 2 (18:43):
So I was like, it's just.
Speaker 1 (18:44):
A little hole, stop bleeding. She's like let's just go
to seven eleven and get some band aids. So he
went to seven eleven and there was a EMT paramedic
truck right and the guy said, give me your hand,
and he looked at he goes, can you feel this?
Speaker 2 (18:56):
Can you feel this? Can you? He said?
Speaker 1 (18:57):
Get in your car and drive to Miami and you're
going to surgery, and.
Speaker 3 (19:01):
Its severed attendant everything.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
The doctor said, if you had taken a hundred tries,
you never could have done as much damage. And it's
still you know, it's still it's a dead finger, is it?
Speaker 5 (19:12):
Wow?
Speaker 2 (19:12):
All right?
Speaker 4 (19:13):
I don't have any story like that other than burning
my house down in the beach on this beach, on
this beach right like a half a mile down.
Speaker 1 (19:19):
Here's what I wanted to ask you, though, how do
you think you went from being that kid to here?
Speaker 2 (19:25):
Like we were at your house?
Speaker 1 (19:26):
We were at Ricky's yesterday with a couple other friends
and I was sitting there and all of us are
like fifties, sixties.
Speaker 2 (19:33):
And how did we do this?
Speaker 6 (19:35):
Right?
Speaker 1 (19:35):
You with parents who were definitely mentally struggling and were
not kind and were abusive, and you know me, would
you say I would?
Speaker 4 (19:45):
I mean I wouldn't abusive. I think my mother did
the best that she could.
Speaker 2 (19:49):
That's very very kind and loving of you.
Speaker 3 (19:52):
I think it's I think it's true. And her mother
treated her.
Speaker 4 (19:55):
A certain way, you know my mother, Like, let me
go back to what I said about like becoming over
as a teenager as a coping mechanism. I think I
didn't want to be attractive two men, and I got
hairspray like my first week out of finals week. Like,
so my mother here, she was so ashamed of me,
trying to get me to change, you know and be normal.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
And you said she was a shamed just because of
your physical appearance.
Speaker 4 (20:18):
I mean, yeah, I think my mother just didn't get me,
you know, like I was just you know, my sister
was more able to be controlled by her. You know,
my sister studied the thing in college that my mother
wanted her to study.
Speaker 3 (20:29):
Like, I was not going to let anybody tell me
like what to do.
Speaker 4 (20:32):
But you know, I saw Annie when I was seven
years old, and I wanted to be you know, Andrew
mccartaal or one of those orphans like my grandma Sylvia.
When I was seven years old, she took me to
see theater Pirates of Penzance grew everything and it made
me want to be on stage. But it was seeing Annie,
a girl that was around my age, and I just
was like, I have to do that. And my mother
got me singing lessons, which I appreciate, but she also said,
(20:54):
you can't try out for Annie because you're not the
starving orphan type, you know.
Speaker 3 (20:58):
And I think that's kind of on.
Speaker 4 (21:00):
The surface, but I think she was trying to protect
me from being rejected. And you know, I was this
heavy set kid. But my mom years later, like, it's
just I became her worst nightmare. But then I got
famous for that very thing that she was so ashamed of,
you know it really I think it's interesting.
Speaker 3 (21:18):
And you know I didn't let her. I mean she did.
Speaker 4 (21:22):
She did great things for me, like she gave birth
to me and that you know, I'm here, but you know,
I'm definitely not a NEPO baby, you know.
Speaker 3 (21:30):
I kind of come from nothing, yes, you know, and.
Speaker 2 (21:33):
That's I guess the point.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
I was looking at all of us except for Pammy,
whose father was a big market I knew her dad, yeah,
I had met him a few times too, But exide
from Pammy, the rest of us. We were like, you know,
poor lower middle class kids from New.
Speaker 2 (21:48):
York, and here we are, all of us, thank god,
doing well.
Speaker 1 (21:52):
And it's amazing in a position where we don't have
to work.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
Imagine that. I can't imagine it every day I think
of it.
Speaker 4 (22:00):
Yeah, and my kids, I mean, this is the first
when they say the first generation where our kids aren't
necessarily going to be as successful as us, right, So,
Ross and I talk about that because we have six
kids between us, and yeah, I mean I've been incredibly lucky,
and I've also worked really hard. Yeah, So I mean
despite my upbringing, you know, like you all three women, Robin,
(22:20):
Pammy and you like, I just admire you all so much.
Speaker 3 (22:24):
What Pammy has done with her career unbelievable.
Speaker 4 (22:27):
It's a masterpiece, that series, and that it stems from
her life and I've known her.
Speaker 3 (22:32):
Yeah, we're kids together.
Speaker 4 (22:33):
I know exactly how hard it has been to raise
those girls on her own. I'm blown away by Pamela Adlins.
Speaker 1 (22:43):
Did the show Better Things on FX for five years,
A wonderful, unbelievable show. If you haven't seen it, you've
gotta binge it because you'll fall in love with her.
And it is the story of her life. You know,
there's an authenticity that you can't replicate.
Speaker 4 (22:59):
Yeah, and just when there when someone is like the
oh tour, you know, like a John Waters even, you know,
it's like it comes from their brain and they execute
it and they put it on the page and it
is so brilliant and it's just, yeah, I'm blown away
by it, by her and what she's done because yeah, yeah,
I won't say anymore.
Speaker 2 (23:17):
Right, you know, when they're your friends and then you're
on a pot I know, it's like.
Speaker 1 (23:20):
We just you know, got a little high before we
started this and thought, okay, this will be fun. I've
loved all that you've done with your documentaries, especially the
one about pot weed.
Speaker 2 (23:30):
The people, Yeah, really wonderful.
Speaker 1 (23:32):
I am the kind of sixty year old person who
never smoked pot till I was forty, and then at
forty it was like I would take two little puffs
and I would be like flying.
Speaker 3 (23:43):
You know, did you enjoy it?
Speaker 2 (23:44):
I liked it? I loved it.
Speaker 3 (23:46):
I was like, who buys you into it?
Speaker 2 (23:48):
For me? Shrink? Because I was having no desire for sex.
Speaker 1 (23:52):
I started menopause at forty, and so I had zero libido,
and she was like, why don't you try smoking a
little pot?
Speaker 2 (23:59):
And I was like, I'm never smoke pot.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
That's what the black T shirt kids who liked sabbath
black Sabbath where like I was not ever like. And
then as soon as I started, and I'm like, where
have you been all my own?
Speaker 3 (24:10):
Oh, I'm the same way.
Speaker 2 (24:11):
I mean.
Speaker 4 (24:11):
I first tried pot my first my only year of college,
my freshman year at Itthica College, and I remember it
affected me so much. I feel like it was laced
with something because I was so freaked out. I was
so paranoid. I want I remember feeling like I wanted
to jump out of the high rise I lived in.
It was really traumatizing and I never did it again.
My husband, Rob, who you know, my ex husband, my
(24:32):
first husband, He liked pot, but a little too much
and so I didn't like.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
Like.
Speaker 4 (24:36):
I remember one experience I did get high with him
and we were going to some event and I was
sitting at the mirror curling my eyelashes. Yeah, and I
was high and he got my attention and I moved
my not my eye and I ripped out and they came.
I ripped out half my eyelashes. So I didn't smoke pot.
I was not into cannabis at all until I met Christian.
Speaker 3 (24:56):
And Christian was my second husband.
Speaker 4 (24:58):
I met him when I was forty two, and he
was on this mission to try to help himself with
he you know, with healing hooler he was. He was
my polar, but he was also had chronic back pain
from a car accident. She was always looking at different
things to heal. And he's the one who taught me
about CBD before anyone, before Sanjay Gupdack came on and
made the big apology about cannabis. I mean, so we
(25:19):
started making this documentary back in twenty twelve.
Speaker 3 (25:22):
Do you know that story? No, so I do crazy shit,
like not like you do.
Speaker 4 (25:28):
You like put strangers through school and you do incredibly.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
You think you don't do crazy shit.
Speaker 1 (25:32):
What about the girl with the weed story who you
were treating and then.
Speaker 7 (25:36):
You stir crazy?
Speaker 3 (25:42):
That was crazy? That was crazy.
Speaker 4 (25:44):
Well I had done Dancing with the Stars, but you
were great on I Thank you. I I loved I
loved it and I hated it because it was so hard,
but it was incredible. This little girl loved Derek Huff
and loved thus me because I was his partner, and
I found the mom on Twitter.
Speaker 3 (26:00):
You know, we started engaging. She was this sick little girl.
Speaker 4 (26:03):
She had this disease called neurofibromatosis one, which they treat
like cancer. It's not cancro's tumors, but it's tumors that
they treat with all these cancer drugs. Her picture, I mean,
she was six years old. She looked like she was three,
no hair, glasses, crooked and something about this little girl.
And I think I saw myself and her. I really
think I connected with her. And so next thing, you know,
(26:25):
I moved them into my house to go on this
mission to find like alternative methods because it looked like
the cancer treatment was harming her.
Speaker 3 (26:34):
So Christian and I took it upon ourselves.
Speaker 4 (26:35):
We were in osteopath this one, this one, this one
an Abby, my partner who I made the business of
being born with.
Speaker 3 (26:40):
I'm telling her. I'm like, I've got this little girl
and her mom in my house.
Speaker 4 (26:43):
She's like, what And when telling her the story, I'm
telling her about cannabis blah blah blah.
Speaker 3 (26:47):
We're talking to cannabis doctors.
Speaker 4 (26:48):
She's like, I think this is our next movie, and
so we started the movie focusing on this little girl.
Ultimately they pulled out of the movie the project. You know,
it was devastating because I didn't in the movie. I
wanted this little girl in my life, sure, and so
we parted ways unfortunately, but that was the catalyst or
the start of this six year journey of making this movie.
(27:09):
It's really powerful in that it really re educates about
the history of the plant, you know, what was done
to kind of smear the smear campaign, not unlike Midwives
with my first film, the Business being Born. So it
was a great film and it's really Christian's legacy.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
Well, you know, it did change the way I felt
about my own pot consumption because I had such sixty
year old oh my god, this is a bad thing
to do. And then it becomes legal, right, So I
remember the first time I was here when it was legal,
and I call one of my friends and say, do
you got any pot you can bring over?
Speaker 2 (27:41):
Because I wouldn't travel with that.
Speaker 1 (27:43):
I was like totally afraid I would go to jail. Yeah,
and they go just call up medmen or I'm.
Speaker 3 (27:49):
Like, what did medmen exist? Then?
Speaker 1 (27:50):
When it first became legal, this is the first time
I ever got pot, like from a legitimate store. Okay,
So I went online and I was like, uh, yeah,
I'm at the hotel and oh great, Rosie, Oh what
room you mean. I'm like, I'll just come down to
the lobby. They're like, oh, okay, great. Well, so we
got the two high brins of sativa, and you know,
(28:11):
I have no idea what the what really is going
on at this point, And I get down and I
get there and the guy walks in with like a
T shirt and a messenger bag that says.
Speaker 2 (28:22):
Med men on it.
Speaker 1 (28:23):
You know.
Speaker 2 (28:24):
Yeah, I was thinking we were gonna go here, buddy,
here's the cash.
Speaker 1 (28:27):
It's two sixty, right, And he was like, great, Rosie,
is there anything else you need? And have you ever
tried a gummy? You know you might want to try it?
And I was blown away. I went back to my
room feeling like a criminal who was wanted amazing, And
to this day still sometimes feel I feel a little
bit like.
Speaker 2 (28:46):
Ooh, I'm doing something illegal.
Speaker 4 (28:48):
Wow, well I feel I shout it from the rooftops.
I mean, I love cannabis. And I was also when
I did my talk show, I was the disciple of
Nancy Reagan. I was like the just not of drugs,
you know, very judgmental, very fear filled, not open mind
in the least.
Speaker 3 (29:04):
And now you know, I've done plant, I've done.
Speaker 2 (29:05):
A ton of like, yeah you did ayahwasca.
Speaker 3 (29:07):
I've done ayahuasca a dozen times.
Speaker 2 (29:09):
And I say, how much it terrifies me.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
It is, first of all, I'm on an SSRI and
you can't take it's ninety nine, so I can't do it.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
But let's just say I wasn't. I would never do it.
Speaker 1 (29:20):
The concept that you're going to be that out of
control and you're going to throw up and poop your
pants and you know, and then you're going to see
hallucinations like that's my idea.
Speaker 3 (29:30):
But then the.
Speaker 4 (29:32):
After effect is you heal your demons. You have no
fear of death. I mean, you have ego death like
like I'm telling you, and I'm not encouraging you to
do it anyone, So don't worry.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
Don't.
Speaker 4 (29:45):
But my experiences doing ayahuasca have been life changing, life changing,
for example, and I hate it.
Speaker 3 (29:52):
It's horrible.
Speaker 4 (29:53):
It's going to like the depths of like the darkest places,
and then you see the light.
Speaker 3 (29:57):
I mean you see God.
Speaker 4 (29:59):
I mean one time I was in the redwoods up
in northern California during the day. It was the one
and only time I did it in daylight, and I
remember just being on my knees, my hands touching the
ground underneath these incredible redwoods, and I was tears and
I'm just I'm seeing and feeling the Earth's heartbeat in
my hands.
Speaker 3 (30:17):
It was the most and I mean other things.
Speaker 4 (30:19):
I mean, that's the biggest thing that happened to me
was I made amends to my father, my children, and
you know, I had so much anger and just poison
inside of me because of that marriage ending. And so
in the end I came out of that experience saying, oh,
I need to take responsibility for my part in this.
And it was incredibly healing for me, I think for him,
(30:43):
but also I made amends in front of Owen, my
youngest son, who was probably eight or nine at that time.
It was mean, it was I never in a million years,
I didn't go in with that intention, but it was
just incredibly was It was definitely changed my life.
Speaker 1 (30:58):
You know, Melissa Ethrige it as well, and she has
a new one woman show that I saw off Broadway
over Christmas and the whole like last third of it
is about an ayahuasca trip, about journeying, as she calls it,
and I so couldn't relate to any of it, Like
I was there going this would never like she made
(31:20):
it seem like it was some psychedelic something from the
seventies that was gonna be fun. But I just had
anxiety watching her talk about it.
Speaker 4 (31:29):
Yeah, we have the same I know her, I know
her shaman or whatever. You you know, the person who
facilitates I know, I know we've never sat together, but
you know, Lisa and Cindy really and Sindea, they were
a part of our film. I mean they weren't in it,
but they were part of our journey in getting well.
Speaker 2 (31:46):
They were like pioneers.
Speaker 1 (31:47):
They had this great hoot sales business and then it
happened they got.
Speaker 3 (31:53):
Through by the landlord.
Speaker 4 (31:54):
I don't remember the whole thing, but Lisa, who's I'm
still very close to you.
Speaker 3 (31:58):
She did my grow my girl, my property. So she Yeah,
so that the medicine that you.
Speaker 4 (32:03):
I gave you, it's she's there's her strains her babies,
and she taught us how to do it.
Speaker 2 (32:08):
And yeah, lovely. How are they doing?
Speaker 4 (32:11):
Lisa is okay? I mean I haven't seen her since
we harvested. But Cindy took her life like a year
or two after. Do not know this I did.
Speaker 2 (32:19):
I'm telling you that I thought, Yeah she did. She
suffered a lot.
Speaker 3 (32:26):
She suffered like Christian.
Speaker 4 (32:27):
She and Christian were very tight and they both kind
of were from the same planet. Because I think Christian
was an alien and we've talked about this. You believe
to go to my few she actually she tells me
a lot that she is. I believe that they there
are certain special people, particularly some people who have challenges
that are mentally ill, but they can tap into something
else that we can't. And uh, Cindy, Yeah, Cindy died
(32:50):
about three years ago.
Speaker 2 (32:51):
Wow, I about. That's so sad.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
You know, mental illness when people like Christian and her
and friends of mine, and.
Speaker 2 (32:58):
Uh, it has to be changed.
Speaker 1 (33:00):
We have to deal with treating mental illness compassionately and medically,
and it has to change.
Speaker 4 (33:08):
It feels impossible because the system, you know, we don't
take care of our people. And you know, I just
know what I went through with Christian, which this Saturday
is the six year anniversary of his.
Speaker 2 (33:17):
Death, and you saw him just two nights before.
Speaker 4 (33:22):
He died, three nights before we Yeah, that was through
the last times I saw him. And I actually did
everything that everybody told me not to do. I mean
I had been trying to separate and have started my
life over, yes, after his second about with you know,
a psychotic episode, and I just had to remove myself
for months, you know. And then I just threw myself
and did working out and taking care of myself. And
(33:43):
he came back through through LA and asked to see me,
and I was leaving for London shortly after, and so
he and I had dinner.
Speaker 2 (33:51):
You know.
Speaker 3 (33:51):
Everyone said, meet him for coffee during the day. Yeah,
don't bring him home, don't have alcohol. You know.
Speaker 4 (33:57):
I did everything that everyone said not to do, and
I brought him home and we did, you know, spend
the night together and make love all night. And it
was his goodbye to me. And I'm so glad I
didn't reject him in that moment, because I would have
felt very differently about his passing. But I mean that
relationship and you met him because I remember telling yeah
podcast in Nayaki. Yes, yes, I'm having a flashback.
Speaker 2 (34:18):
By all of them.
Speaker 1 (34:19):
Honey, I can name all of your boys. I've been
in finality, right, Well, come on.
Speaker 2 (34:25):
Say should we do?
Speaker 6 (34:27):
Then?
Speaker 4 (34:28):
I didn't lose my virginity until I was almost twenty one.
I got married at twenty five to Rob. I you know,
stayed married till thirty five met Apollo. Was in that
relationship for three and a half years, and then I
turned into a slut.
Speaker 1 (34:40):
Now, honey, I always tell people Ricky Lake, you are
my spirit animal. I love how you go at love
and grab it with both hands. I love how you
live your life. The family relationships that you have made
with your friends are thicker than most families.
Speaker 2 (34:57):
That I know.
Speaker 3 (34:57):
Chosen family, Your.
Speaker 1 (34:59):
Chosen family, strong and vibrant and well tended to by you.
You're an amazing woman, you really are. And one day
you have to take me to burning Man, and all
this is for being recorded. Right, one day, are you
gonna take me to Burning Man? I'm gonna like maybe
have a little a little golf.
Speaker 3 (35:18):
Little mushroom little Oh, come on, I.
Speaker 2 (35:21):
Haven't done mushrooms now. I'm very much as honey.
Speaker 4 (35:24):
It's I mean, you're never too old, never too old whatever.
I'm not pushing psychedelics on anyone. I just know, like,
like I'm the best me I've ever been because of
like my open minded like I'm I was gonna say
I'm a secret, but I don't know if it's about that.
Speaker 3 (35:39):
Like I just I'm just open.
Speaker 1 (35:42):
You live your life in full gear with all the colors,
like you use every man outs of color in life,
and you fucking let it wash over you. And it's
the most beautiful thing to I've been your friend for
thirty years and to know that this is who you are.
Speaker 3 (35:58):
Thank you. I love my life.
Speaker 4 (36:00):
I love particularly now like this is I mean, I
wake up with my guy singing, we go to bed.
I mean, it's just from like the start of the day,
it's just joy and play.
Speaker 1 (36:11):
And he's a man. He's a wonderful, wonderful man. Can
you believe we're so different?
Speaker 4 (36:16):
Like he comes from this devout Mormon background, right, you know,
I just I can't.
Speaker 3 (36:22):
Here's what I think. I mean.
Speaker 4 (36:23):
I believe Christian brought him to me. I believe Christian
had to leave. I mean, and I know this sounds crazy.
Speaker 2 (36:30):
No, I don't know, honey.
Speaker 4 (36:31):
I really don't care how I sound, because I know
what I believe and Christian.
Speaker 3 (36:35):
He didn't want to leave me.
Speaker 4 (36:36):
He was so in love with me, but he couldn't
like it just it's just he was not of this planet.
And when I met him, when I had the house
fire here on this beach, you know, he and I
came together through that fire, and I believe it was
divine intervention. And he was supposed to be my greatest teacher.
He stayed for six and a half years. And you know,
when I married him, I knew I was he was
like a patient.
Speaker 3 (36:56):
I mean I was he was.
Speaker 4 (36:57):
I was his caretaker and I knew I was signing
on for that. And we had a pact. And he
said to me when we got married, it was just
the two of us at the Saniel Siegra Ranch in Montecito.
He said to me, we are together for something greater
than just us. I didn't know really what he was
talking about that time. But like through the journey of
losing him, like I believe he's now taking care of me,
(37:18):
like I know, I know I feel it. Ross feels
it because it just doesn't make sense how Ross and
I got together.
Speaker 3 (37:25):
We would never have met.
Speaker 4 (37:26):
We lived in the same city, my apartment in the
Marina del Rey where you came over here. He lived
on the beach side. You know, he's a corporate attorney.
He's new to La so not that's fat. He's tall,
he's a big man.
Speaker 2 (37:40):
He's a six six currently man.
Speaker 3 (37:41):
He's currently two hundred and fifty nine pounds. We're both
losing weight like you are. We brought We're feeling so good.
Speaker 4 (37:48):
But anyway, it's just I believe Christian is my angel
and my greatest teacher. And I've learned so much about
mental illness, about just eternal love, unconditional love. And the
best part is that I now love myself the way
he loved me.
Speaker 2 (38:04):
How beautiful Ricky.
Speaker 1 (38:06):
And on this sixth anniversary of his passing, you know,
let's all take God time and feel it and remember him.
He was a beautiful, free spirited man and he did
love you greatly, and it was obvious, you know. But
you know there's so much mental illness. Love doesn't have
(38:26):
a say.
Speaker 2 (38:27):
Right. Well, listen, this is the first.
Speaker 1 (38:31):
Time I've ever gotten eye and done really anything work related.
Speaker 3 (38:34):
Really.
Speaker 1 (38:34):
Yeah. I would have a beer sometimes doing stand up
before I went on, but I must spoke my pot
alone and hang out and vibe in my house. You know,
I'm not as No, let's get high and go somewhere.
Speaker 2 (38:48):
No.
Speaker 1 (38:49):
Now, if it's a bunch of us like it was
the other night, yeah, that's a different thing.
Speaker 6 (38:52):
Now.
Speaker 2 (38:52):
Why anxiety?
Speaker 3 (38:54):
Anxiety because someone else is going to judge you what it.
Speaker 1 (38:57):
Know, because you're going to be out of contry in public.
I don't want to be at the mercy of other
people's mind. I want my mind to be focused on
getting myself there and back in the car and making
sure Dakota has what she wants. And you know, but
when I have my alone time, you know, I'll definitely
take an edible or two and put on something that
(39:19):
really moved me and watch it for the three times
in a row and take notes, you know.
Speaker 4 (39:25):
Yeah, I mean we get high every night and it's
like it's it's the best.
Speaker 3 (39:29):
It's the best. Anyway, here we digress, all right.
Speaker 7 (39:32):
I love you, Rick, I love you too.
Speaker 1 (39:54):
Hey, we're back, and now we've got some questions from
you or comments, little voice memos that you leave for
me at onward Rosie at gmail dot com. There you go,
onward Rosie at gmail dot com. We get those emails.
They put together some of the questions, and I hear
(40:15):
them for the first time right here, So we're going
to get into that right now. First question, roll it
would you?
Speaker 6 (40:21):
Hey, Rosie, my name is Mark. I'm a nurse in Washington, DC.
I'm a gay guy in my mid thirties. I'm looking
for some dating advice. I've been really consumed in getting
my masters this past couple years and also really trying
to find a committed boyfriend. But it's been super difficult.
Dates have not been going far. Do you have any
(40:44):
advice on where I should be looking, what I should
be doing, anything in regards could use your help, Thanks, Rosie.
Speaker 1 (40:52):
Sure, honey, I'll be glad to give you help. Although
I don't have the best record in romance, but I
think it's really important to find someone who is like minded.
You know that you have the same kind of values
and outlook on the world, and that's not always easy
to do. But if you go to places that really
interest you, like for me, the theater or to art
(41:13):
shows or museums, you know, and I find that people
who have similar interests like that, it's a great place
to start. I think that you know tender and bumble
and swipey, swipe swipe. I don't think that that's the
way that people really get a sense of who each
other really really who they are. Because we curate our
(41:36):
own image in social media, it's not an accurate portrayal
of who we are, and I think there's a lot
of misinformation and non accurate assumptions that you make when
it's solely a social media kind of relationship. So I
would say, go to places that you like. It sounds
like you've been very busy, and congratulations on getting your
(41:59):
masters and being a nurse. I think nurses are the
heartbeat of the country and if it wasn't for them,
no one would ever get well. Their job is to
love and to heal people. Can you imagine that that
that's your job to love and to heal people, and
they do it and they care for them. Their job
is caring and loving. So congratulations to you on having
(42:20):
that wonderful, wonderful career, and congratulations on getting your masters
and now work on the other part of your life.
You seem to have gotten the career trajectory really right,
and I know romance will be on the way. Go slow, honey,
there's no rush, and good luck let me know how
it goes. We got time for one more. Here we
(42:42):
go roll it when you got a minute.
Speaker 8 (42:45):
Hi, Rosie. My name is Laura, and I have a
question for you that you may or may not want
to answer. But I was wondering, when did you start
to notice that there might be something not adding up
for Dakota, I asked, because a lot of times girls
(43:06):
are not diagnosed until much later. So I'm just curious
when when did that journey of questioning start for you?
Speaker 1 (43:15):
Okay, no, thank you, thank you, great question. Thank you
so much. I'd love to answer it. Here's the thing.
When she was one, she said full sentences that were
lines from Frozen. So I was sitting with her, she
had just turned one, had just had her birthday. She
was sitting on my lap. We were watching Frozen, and
(43:38):
right before Oloff says I've been impaled. She looks at
me and says I've been impaled.
Speaker 2 (43:45):
And I said what?
Speaker 1 (43:46):
And then I hear the TV I've been impaled? And
then she looks at the TV and I was like,
did you just recite that sentence? Not only did she
recite it, but it sounded exactly like Olof Like it
was kind of creepy.
Speaker 2 (44:01):
Now, she was my fifth.
Speaker 1 (44:02):
Kid that I had, and I also had some two
foster kids, and you know, I've raised a lot of kids,
and I knew something was different about about Dakota. That is,
the first thing was was the I've been impaled, or
maybe right before that, the fact that she didn't seem
to answer to her name. There was sort of nothing
(44:25):
you could do to get if you said Dakota, she
wouldn't turn. Now, at some point I started calling her
a monkey and making a noise like eat, you know, hey, monkey, eat,
And when I did the e eat, she'd turn around.
So she responded to the sound more than to the words.
So I took her in. And I had had kids
(44:47):
who had other issues of learning difficulties, and I was
familiar with what we had to do. So I went
and got her the tests that were appropriate and met
with some autism doctors and they told me her diagnosis
from the time she was too And you know, I'm
so happy that I knew early on what to look for,
(45:09):
and that I knew where to get her the help,
and that I'm fortunate enough to be able to afford
to get her the best help, and that has to
change in America. Everyone needs to get their kids who
are suffering healthy, and it should be available to all people.
I firmly believe that, you know, socialized medicine. I believe
(45:33):
that we have to take care of our citizens and
starts with the smallest of them.
Speaker 2 (45:39):
So thank you for that.
Speaker 1 (45:40):
She's an amazing, amazing young person and I'm in love
with her. I think she's the greatest and her confidence
is inspiring. So thank you for caring about her. I
appreciate it. All right, everybody, that's it for today. There
it is. We are done, and I hope you enjoyed.
(46:00):
Ricky Lake, I love her so much. Thank you, rick
Next week, guess who we have Stephanie Mills, who is
an amazing mom to a special needs son with Down syndrome.
We talk all about our special needs kids and how
it's changed us. I saw her first on Broadway when
she was just seventeen years old, starring in The Whiz,
(46:23):
and it was one of the best things I have
ever seen on stage in my life. I'm so happy
that we became friends and we've remained friends, and I
love her so much. Stephanie Mills is my guest next Tuesday.
Here on onward with Rosie o'donald
Well, hey, everybody, it's me Rosi o'donald and you have
found my podcast Onward with Rosio o' donald. So you
know the show Love on the Spectrum. It's been on
and a few iterations. It was a British show or
an Australian show, and then they made a US version
and it's an amazing show about people on the spectrum
(00:33):
of all ages, most of them in their twenties or thirties,
trying to figure out love and life and the world,
you know, and if you have an autistic person in
your life, it is just even if you don't, it
is just the most beautiful show to watch. So one
of the men on there, Michael, who is very charming
(00:57):
and very lovely, he found me on Instagram and we've
been dming and he asked me if I wanted to
go on Instagram live for Love on the Spectrum, first
one that they're doing live.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
I said sure, So I popped on.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
Luckily I figured out how to get on there and
there they were, the whole cast, and we just talked
for like a little over an hour and it was
so much fun and it was so heartwarming the questions
that they were asking me.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
The facts that they knew about me.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
And as I'm reading the comments, as I'm commenting, I
see Ricky Lake.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
It says, Ricky Lake.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
Hey, ro I think this is so adorable, and I'm like,
of course Ricky Lake would find her way in here.
I love Ricky Lake, and I love that she was
watching and appreciated just how amazing it was to see
that and to participate in that. So I don't know,
I just it was like be shared, you know, a
Jewish word meaning meant to be that. I got a
(01:57):
little Ricky Lake last night, and I'm presenting to you
our conversation from a couple of weeks ago. We've been
friends a long time, but I don't have to tell
you anything because frankly, it's all in this conversation. So
sit back, relax, and enjoy my friend, Ricky Lake. I'm
(02:24):
here with my good friend Ricky Lake.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
Hi, Ricky Lake, Hi Rosie, here in person. I love
you. You're the best you are. I've learned from you.
Speaker 4 (02:31):
I feel like I've admired you long before I actually
knew you.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
You know, when I was thinking today in the way
over here, when was the first time that we actually
like chatted and talked.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
I think it was right.
Speaker 5 (02:42):
Before we went to the the Can we say what movie? Yes, hey,
oh hey, that's yeah, that's Dolly, which was my childhood nickname.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
That's okay, dog can bark.
Speaker 4 (02:57):
She will if she sees seagulls, she will go see
go see.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
I think when we went to see that Wayne's World
in the Valley, in the Valley because way I had
met you at like a Denny's or something. Remember you
were sitting in the back. Can you remember everything? I
know I've taken ambient periodically in my life. Yes, I
don't remember details, but I remember going to the movies
with you in the Valley.
Speaker 4 (03:22):
It was in Studio City. We walked out, Yes, it
was horrible. I could have watched the whole movie. And
I was like, do you want to stay for this?
And you were like no, And so then we went
out and we had lunch. Right, yeah, do you remember
what we ate now?
Speaker 2 (03:35):
No?
Speaker 1 (03:36):
But I do remember you saying to me, I'm going
to go to New York and do a talk show.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
And I remember thinking, how do you do a talk show?
How would you like? And I at the time there
was no one but Oprah.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
It was all Oprah. All the time, right, everybody else
was getting beat.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
Up on TV.
Speaker 4 (03:51):
This was in nineteen ninety ninety two. It was I
got the pilot for the show, and I remember years
later you came to me and asked, you want to
know what.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
The drill was? Like, how's it work?
Speaker 4 (04:02):
Beause they were talking to you, Right, my show is
obviously a huge hit, And I told you it's told
you my workload. Yep, you ended up with a much
better deal than I did. Yes, but I'm not complaining.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
No, you did very well for yourself.
Speaker 3 (04:14):
I did well.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
We were at Ricky's gorgeous house in Malibu here up
on a mountain overlooking the Pacific Ocean, which the most
beautiful floral garden, the design I've ever seen in the house.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
It's gorgeous. It's a beautiful place.
Speaker 3 (04:29):
And it took a lot to get to that spot.
Speaker 4 (04:31):
Yeah, it took you like eight years to make ext
I have to find it and then build it. There
was one thing after another that my partner, Christian Evans
passed away halfway through building the house. And the goal
was never to be on a mountaintop by myself. You know,
he and I were gonna the idea I was living
in Brentwood. Have you ever been to my Brentwood house?
Robin and Rozanne our dear friend, you know, she says
(04:52):
that's like her favorite house ever it was.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
Is this the one that you sold it to? Somebody
who turned it quick flipped it? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (04:58):
I mean you're still mad at go Toby McGuire.
Speaker 4 (05:01):
Tob I bought it from Courtney Cox, so like name
dropping galore bought it from Courtney Cox. She has great taste.
It was a fucking killer house and can I say
fuck on.
Speaker 3 (05:11):
Your yeah, okay, okay. And then I lived there for
like eleven or twelve years and sold.
Speaker 4 (05:16):
I was ready to downsize, but not downsize because of
financial means. It was like I wanted a smaller piece
of property in house because that was like seven thousand.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
Square feet it was.
Speaker 4 (05:26):
It was a lot of house, and I wanted to
get a place in a visa and get a smaller
place here and be on the water, like overlooking the water.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
I sold it to Toby maguire.
Speaker 4 (05:36):
He painted it white and dressed it like staged it
white and flipped it a year later for two million more.
I'm not mad, I'm over it. I'm totally over it
good for him.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
Yeah, it's amazing what people can see and people who
have that natural talent of looking at a house and
knowing like, which I think you do. Oh, I'm going
to knock out this wall. I'm going to put this here. Yeah,
that's not my thing at all. I have to go
in and see it done.
Speaker 4 (06:00):
Really, you can't want a project, Okay, another house on
my street is not for you.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
Well, I don't think I have the ability to have
the patience to like, wait and when I walk into
a house and see what I naturally like, which is white,
over stuffed furniture and shabby chrome. Shabby sheek is me
and chrome. It was because the first kind of rich
person's house I ever really went to was Madonna's in Miami, Okay,
(06:26):
and I walked in and that's how it was. It was,
you know, the nineties. It was like ninety two or something,
and I was like, Okay, if I ever get successful,
this is what I will do.
Speaker 3 (06:36):
Weren't you successful at that time?
Speaker 2 (06:37):
When you know, No, I was a stand up comic.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
He won Star Search.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
I No, I didn't win.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
Okay, I came in second, and me and Sinbad didn't
win that year.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
Oh, that's right. Do you know he's had a bad stroke.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
Oh no, Yeah, he's sadly been kind of incapacitated for
two or three years trying to cope with this horrible
stroke and relearning how to talk and walk. And they
have a GoFundMe set up for him because uh, you know,
the medical bills are extraordinary. But it's so sad to think,
you know, somebody our age boom, you know, taken out
(07:13):
of the key is.
Speaker 4 (07:13):
I mean he is what sixty sixties?
Speaker 2 (07:17):
Right?
Speaker 3 (07:18):
Yeah, I'm fifty four. Oh you're just a baby, yeah right, yeah?
Speaker 4 (07:21):
Six years getting better with age, sure.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
And I feel the same way. I feel such a
calmness about my life and a lack of thinking there's
somewhere I have to get, you know.
Speaker 4 (07:33):
Yeah, And I think we are lucky because we've we've
had a lot. I mean, I could speak for myself,
I assume for you, but I've achieved. I've like proven
myself to me and like I love the work I
put out. I love the documentary work I do. Yeah,
a brilliant job at those thank you. I mean, I
just feel like I've made my mark in the world.
I've you know, I've made an impact. I want to
(07:53):
do more. I'm not done, but I'm not driven by
like staying relevant or having more money like that is
not It's about quality of life with my new husband,
who I'm.
Speaker 3 (08:04):
So madly in love with.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
I'm in love with him too, just so you know,
said you said goodbye.
Speaker 4 (08:09):
Yes, he's he is so special and I deserve him
like that's the piece of it that I think for
so long in my life, being a fat girl, being
you know, not the object of affection for so many
and you know, having.
Speaker 3 (08:22):
Love, like having deep love.
Speaker 4 (08:23):
But I think coming into my own and really loving
myself is very new. Yes, And I think I would
not have been able to call in this quality of
man had I not felt the way I did about myself,
you know.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
Yes, And how did you get there? Rick? Because you
were heavy your whole childhood? Right, you were always the
big girl.
Speaker 4 (08:40):
No, I was sexually molested as a little girl, and
I was as well. Yes, I think I knew that
I was six years old, and that was when I
started turning to food and my mother didn't know how
to handle it. She had her whole own eating disorder,
and you know, so the more she would be harping
on me because I was an embarrassment to her. It's
such a like an ironic situation because my mom, who
(09:02):
I don't have a relationship with.
Speaker 3 (09:04):
Yes, not, for many many years.
Speaker 1 (09:07):
You went no contact. Before there was a thing of
going no contact, was there? Now there came a thing
where where kids or adults who have, you know, people
in their life, you have to go no contact. Really,
and that's what they call it, you know when you
see on TikTok or whatever. I don't do TikTok, so
I know I got to get you onto that. But
it really is like crack poison. Not that I've ever
(09:27):
done crack, but what my impression is, No I haven't.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
That's scary of me.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
But you're much more adventurous in your drug world I
ever was.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
But not to crack. I want to let's be clear.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
No meth, no crack, no hero no.
Speaker 4 (09:42):
And I think no TikTok for me because I can't.
It's too frustrating. I mean, I watch you when I
see it mostly on Instagram, your stuff, right, but I
don't have the patience.
Speaker 3 (09:51):
And yeah, it's just yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
It is really something that is so addictive and probably
so damaging to society. As a whole, and years to come,
we're going to find out just how much damage it caused,
you know.
Speaker 4 (10:04):
And you have a young child still that's you know,
do you let her prosy?
Speaker 1 (10:08):
Because she has autism and such a specific interest, she
doesn't know anything about communicating with other people unless you're
in the game of Roadblocks and then you can only
type right, right, So her world revolves around her video games.
But you know what it's done to fame in a
(10:30):
way that your celebrities that you love and adore, your
stars are accessible. Possibly I would have never left school
if there was a chance that Barbara Streissan could have
seen anything I wrote to I would have been writing
her every day. Yeah, you know, I used to write
when I didn't know where to send the letters. When
(10:50):
I was a kid. I'd get the album Columbia Records,
and I'd send it to Columbia Records.
Speaker 3 (10:55):
Did you ever get an answer back?
Speaker 2 (10:57):
But of course not.
Speaker 3 (10:58):
She was the biggest your own show.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
Correct.
Speaker 3 (11:00):
The only time you met her was on your show.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
And I remember I was nominated for an Emmy in
the same category as her once, Okay, And I was
at the Emmy sitting in the front row and She
walked by me and she said, oh, congratulations, I hear
you very funny, and I was like, yes, nice to
meet you. And you know, they did the categories. It's like,
you know, these stars and then this upcoming young comic
(11:23):
that nobody had heard of. What year is this, God almighty,
it was probably ninety wow. So before your talk show,
and I remember when you got her on your show.
She came on just once.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
No. I ended up doing a bunch with her. I
went to her house.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
I remember when you flipped the set right, Yes, of course,
in two months in advance, I flipped the set for her.
But you know, listen, there was nothing she could have
done that I wouldn't do to accommodate her. I feel
so much indebted to her for inspiring me to be
myself and think I could do it. She sounded like me,
(11:58):
not her vocally, of course, but she had the New
York accent. She looked familiar. She I don't know, and
her brilliance is unparalleled. And it kills me now, Ricky
that some of my kids and stuff, and you know,
my nieces, they go who and I go, oh my.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
You know.
Speaker 1 (12:17):
My friend's son said to her yesterday the sun's sixteen
and she's about fifty, and she says the son says
to her, who's this lady chair? No, chare you know
they all in Malibu? Yes, I should all have lunch.
We should have a little part.
Speaker 3 (12:33):
Are you in touch with her? Like, can you go over?
Have you been to her house?
Speaker 5 (12:35):
No?
Speaker 1 (12:36):
I haven't been to her house, but we're sometimes in
touch on text.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
And I love her.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
I've always loved her, but I don't bother her because
I know she's a very insular person.
Speaker 3 (12:44):
Can you be normal with her?
Speaker 1 (12:46):
Like, I mean, yes, hey, don't go away. There's more
after this with Ricky Lake.
Speaker 4 (13:08):
Okay, my edible is starting to kick in right now.
So I'm like sitting across from you, so like you're
my friend and I consider you like a dear friend,
someone I really look up to, and I really know
you like they know each other.
Speaker 3 (13:18):
But then there's also like.
Speaker 4 (13:19):
Holy shit, I'm doing Rosie O'donnald's podcast, Like there's still
that now.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
Do you know that I never believe that anyone thinks
that about me?
Speaker 4 (13:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
I have never felt like part of the people that
I interviewed and got to be in their orbit. I
never felt their equal. I always knew I was visiting,
I had a visa. I had to feel that way too.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
Yes, so it shocks.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
Me that anyone feels that way about me.
Speaker 3 (13:43):
Yeah, but you're beloved, like you're just You're just beloved.
Speaker 4 (13:46):
And I think I am too, you know. I think
people feel like they know us, say trust us. What
we have, we expose ours. I mean, I've been so
transparent about every part of my journey.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
Which is why I love you so much. I think
that's I don't know how to be. It's me too,
I don't know how else to be. Some people say,
even in my family, why do you share so much?
I'm like, why don't you share so much? Yeah, like,
if you would tell me your feelings and what upsets
you and what you're passionate about.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
We would get to be so much closer.
Speaker 3 (14:16):
I agree.
Speaker 4 (14:17):
I mean, I just I've always been this way, and
maybe it starts from John Waters picking me to be
Tracy Turnblad when I was eighteen, so I was really
like who I was was cherished, you know, from the
start of my career, and then once I did the
talk show. I mean, I'm being me, like, I'm just
you know, speaking to real people. I mean, your show
is all celebrities, mind was real people talking about relationship issues,
(14:38):
and I was super interested in that, like very curious.
I'm still curious about relationships and people and humanity and
what people will say and do on camera off camera.
I mean, I'm still that same person that did my show.
And it was a grind, as you know. I mean
it was a grind. We had to do one hundred
and ninety five a year, but I loved it. You know,
(15:00):
I don't want to do anymore.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
No, I don't either. I don't think I could.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
You know, there's something about your innocence and your youth
when you go in they're blind and you don't really
know what it is. Yeah, but in the midst of
that kind of popularity and fame, I kind of was unmoored.
Speaker 3 (15:16):
Yeah, and you were raising kids.
Speaker 4 (15:19):
Yes, Yeah, that's why I feel and I know I'm
jumping around, but like where I am now, my kids
are out of the house, they're on their own, My
husband's kids are out of that like it's like me time,
and I feel like we've regressed, like we've become kids again.
And the response, I mean, they still have responsibility, but
I don't do the grind of a show every day,
and I'm not, you know, doing carpool like you are.
Speaker 3 (15:41):
It's it's it's a joy.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
It really is.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
And I think that when you get to be sixty,
when you really you know, six years for you. I
turned sixty last March, and I really felt like God,
I have entered the third chapter of the book of
my life, and there's only three. If you're lucky, you
get three chapters.
Speaker 3 (16:02):
Yeah, and your mom died when she was.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
What thirty nine?
Speaker 4 (16:05):
Geesus. Yeah, that's got a fuck with your head. I mean,
when you were thirty nine, it must have been a trip, right.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
You know what happened? I got that staph infection. Yeah,
when I was thirty nine, and my mother died at
forty and I was thinking, I'm not going to survive this.
And I think I had made that hurdle so huge
in my mind that almost I kind of manifested this
near death experience at the same age that she was.
And you know, they came and told me, we're going
(16:32):
to have to amputate your wrist or your fingers tomorrow.
And then this nurse at the hospital poured this Chinese
herbs and said, don't tell doctor, don't tell doctor. Poured
these herbs and the next day the doctor came in
and said it started to heal. And she's just sitting
there and I was like, looked at her. Afterwards, I
said to her, what can I do for you? Is
(16:52):
there anything you need? Where do you live?
Speaker 3 (16:54):
On your house? I'm sure?
Speaker 2 (16:55):
Well that's what I.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
Wanted to do, right I wanted to buy her a
house or a car or She said, I want you
to do one thing for me, Rosie. I'm like, what's
in a very very thick Asian accent, like really beautiful,
And she said.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
I want you to pray to Jesus Christ right now.
And I said, you got it.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
And she held my hand and she said talk to
God in a way that I hadn't heard someone talk
to God ever. Really, because you know Catholic churches, it's
not exactly a Baptist church where people are screaming and telling.
It's the most boring thing you ever sit through in
your week, and you try to avoid it at all costs.
You know, I would hide at Jackie's pool. Yeah, hear
(17:37):
my mother rose that and they go off to church
without me knowing. I was hiding somewhere.
Speaker 3 (17:43):
Wow, that woman saved your.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
Hand, save my hand.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
And then when I got out of the hospital, I
still had my show. I was just thirty nine. When
I got out of the hospital. I kept seeing people
with one hand missing.
Speaker 4 (17:55):
Yeah, that's kind of when you're pregnant. You see pregnant
people everywhere. Yes, wow, yeah, I remember when you were
wearing that splint for a really long time.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
Last six months. I had a staff and figured, look
all the way to hear.
Speaker 3 (18:06):
Do you still have full mobility or like you never.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
This finger doesn't work.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
My middle finger on my left hand, I have no
grip strength, Like I can't grab anything like this. So
sometimes I do movies or I'm doing it and I go,
hey can I and it looks like the people off.
Speaker 3 (18:22):
Oh my gosh. And that was from you.
Speaker 1 (18:25):
Falling with I had on the night of the George
Bush election coverage. He was speaking and giving his and
I went fishing with Kelly. That's right, and I cut
a little tiny hole, punctured it, taken off the fishing pole,
price tag, punctured my middle finger and nothing hurt.
Speaker 2 (18:43):
So I was like, it's just.
Speaker 1 (18:44):
A little hole, stop bleeding. She's like let's just go
to seven eleven and get some band aids. So he
went to seven eleven and there was a EMT paramedic
truck right and the guy said, give me your hand,
and he looked at he goes, can you feel this?
Speaker 2 (18:56):
Can you feel this? Can you? He said?
Speaker 1 (18:57):
Get in your car and drive to Miami and you're
going to surgery, and.
Speaker 3 (19:01):
Its severed attendant everything.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
The doctor said, if you had taken a hundred tries,
you never could have done as much damage. And it's
still you know, it's still it's a dead finger, is it?
Speaker 5 (19:12):
Wow?
Speaker 2 (19:12):
All right?
Speaker 4 (19:13):
I don't have any story like that other than burning
my house down in the beach on this beach, on
this beach right like a half a mile down.
Speaker 1 (19:19):
Here's what I wanted to ask you, though, how do
you think you went from being that kid to here?
Speaker 2 (19:25):
Like we were at your house?
Speaker 1 (19:26):
We were at Ricky's yesterday with a couple other friends
and I was sitting there and all of us are
like fifties, sixties.
Speaker 2 (19:33):
And how did we do this?
Speaker 6 (19:35):
Right?
Speaker 1 (19:35):
You with parents who were definitely mentally struggling and were
not kind and were abusive, and you know me, would
you say I would?
Speaker 4 (19:45):
I mean I wouldn't abusive. I think my mother did
the best that she could.
Speaker 2 (19:49):
That's very very kind and loving of you.
Speaker 3 (19:52):
I think it's I think it's true. And her mother
treated her.
Speaker 4 (19:55):
A certain way, you know my mother, Like, let me
go back to what I said about like becoming over
as a teenager as a coping mechanism. I think I
didn't want to be attractive two men, and I got
hairspray like my first week out of finals week. Like,
so my mother here, she was so ashamed of me,
trying to get me to change, you know and be normal.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
And you said she was a shamed just because of
your physical appearance.
Speaker 4 (20:18):
I mean, yeah, I think my mother just didn't get me,
you know, like I was just you know, my sister
was more able to be controlled by her. You know,
my sister studied the thing in college that my mother
wanted her to study.
Speaker 3 (20:29):
Like, I was not going to let anybody tell me
like what to do.
Speaker 4 (20:32):
But you know, I saw Annie when I was seven
years old, and I wanted to be you know, Andrew
mccartaal or one of those orphans like my grandma Sylvia.
When I was seven years old, she took me to
see theater Pirates of Penzance grew everything and it made
me want to be on stage. But it was seeing Annie,
a girl that was around my age, and I just
was like, I have to do that. And my mother
got me singing lessons, which I appreciate, but she also said,
(20:54):
you can't try out for Annie because you're not the
starving orphan type, you know.
Speaker 3 (20:58):
And I think that's kind of on.
Speaker 4 (21:00):
The surface, but I think she was trying to protect
me from being rejected. And you know, I was this
heavy set kid. But my mom years later, like, it's
just I became her worst nightmare. But then I got
famous for that very thing that she was so ashamed of,
you know it really I think it's interesting.
Speaker 3 (21:18):
And you know I didn't let her. I mean she did.
Speaker 4 (21:22):
She did great things for me, like she gave birth
to me and that you know, I'm here, but you know,
I'm definitely not a NEPO baby, you know.
Speaker 3 (21:30):
I kind of come from nothing, yes, you know, and.
Speaker 2 (21:33):
That's I guess the point.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
I was looking at all of us except for Pammy,
whose father was a big market I knew her dad, yeah,
I had met him a few times too, But exide
from Pammy, the rest of us. We were like, you know,
poor lower middle class kids from New.
Speaker 2 (21:48):
York, and here we are, all of us, thank god,
doing well.
Speaker 1 (21:52):
And it's amazing in a position where we don't have
to work.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
Imagine that. I can't imagine it every day I think
of it.
Speaker 4 (22:00):
Yeah, and my kids, I mean, this is the first
when they say the first generation where our kids aren't
necessarily going to be as successful as us, right, So,
Ross and I talk about that because we have six
kids between us, and yeah, I mean I've been incredibly lucky,
and I've also worked really hard. Yeah, So I mean
despite my upbringing, you know, like you all three women, Robin,
(22:20):
Pammy and you like, I just admire you all so much.
Speaker 3 (22:24):
What Pammy has done with her career unbelievable.
Speaker 4 (22:27):
It's a masterpiece, that series, and that it stems from
her life and I've known her.
Speaker 3 (22:32):
Yeah, we're kids together.
Speaker 4 (22:33):
I know exactly how hard it has been to raise
those girls on her own. I'm blown away by Pamela Adlins.
Speaker 1 (22:43):
Did the show Better Things on FX for five years,
A wonderful, unbelievable show. If you haven't seen it, you've
gotta binge it because you'll fall in love with her.
And it is the story of her life. You know,
there's an authenticity that you can't replicate.
Speaker 4 (22:59):
Yeah, and just when there when someone is like the
oh tour, you know, like a John Waters even, you know,
it's like it comes from their brain and they execute
it and they put it on the page and it
is so brilliant and it's just, yeah, I'm blown away
by it, by her and what she's done because yeah, yeah,
I won't say anymore.
Speaker 2 (23:17):
Right, you know, when they're your friends and then you're
on a pot I know, it's like.
Speaker 1 (23:20):
We just you know, got a little high before we
started this and thought, okay, this will be fun. I've
loved all that you've done with your documentaries, especially the
one about pot weed.
Speaker 2 (23:30):
The people, Yeah, really wonderful.
Speaker 1 (23:32):
I am the kind of sixty year old person who
never smoked pot till I was forty, and then at
forty it was like I would take two little puffs
and I would be like flying.
Speaker 3 (23:43):
You know, did you enjoy it?
Speaker 2 (23:44):
I liked it? I loved it.
Speaker 3 (23:46):
I was like, who buys you into it?
Speaker 2 (23:48):
For me? Shrink? Because I was having no desire for sex.
Speaker 1 (23:52):
I started menopause at forty, and so I had zero libido,
and she was like, why don't you try smoking a
little pot?
Speaker 2 (23:59):
And I was like, I'm never smoke pot.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
That's what the black T shirt kids who liked sabbath
black Sabbath where like I was not ever like. And
then as soon as I started, and I'm like, where
have you been all my own?
Speaker 3 (24:10):
Oh, I'm the same way.
Speaker 2 (24:11):
I mean.
Speaker 4 (24:11):
I first tried pot my first my only year of college,
my freshman year at Itthica College, and I remember it
affected me so much. I feel like it was laced
with something because I was so freaked out. I was
so paranoid. I want I remember feeling like I wanted
to jump out of the high rise I lived in.
It was really traumatizing and I never did it again.
My husband, Rob, who you know, my ex husband, my
(24:32):
first husband, He liked pot, but a little too much
and so I didn't like.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
Like.
Speaker 4 (24:36):
I remember one experience I did get high with him
and we were going to some event and I was
sitting at the mirror curling my eyelashes. Yeah, and I
was high and he got my attention and I moved
my not my eye and I ripped out and they came.
I ripped out half my eyelashes. So I didn't smoke pot.
I was not into cannabis at all until I met Christian.
Speaker 3 (24:56):
And Christian was my second husband.
Speaker 4 (24:58):
I met him when I was forty two, and he
was on this mission to try to help himself with
he you know, with healing hooler he was. He was
my polar, but he was also had chronic back pain
from a car accident. She was always looking at different
things to heal. And he's the one who taught me
about CBD before anyone, before Sanjay Gupdack came on and
made the big apology about cannabis. I mean, so we
(25:19):
started making this documentary back in twenty twelve.
Speaker 3 (25:22):
Do you know that story? No, so I do crazy shit,
like not like you do.
Speaker 4 (25:28):
You like put strangers through school and you do incredibly.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
You think you don't do crazy shit.
Speaker 1 (25:32):
What about the girl with the weed story who you
were treating and then.
Speaker 7 (25:36):
You stir crazy?
Speaker 3 (25:42):
That was crazy? That was crazy.
Speaker 4 (25:44):
Well I had done Dancing with the Stars, but you
were great on I Thank you. I I loved I
loved it and I hated it because it was so hard,
but it was incredible. This little girl loved Derek Huff
and loved thus me because I was his partner, and
I found the mom on Twitter.
Speaker 3 (26:00):
You know, we started engaging. She was this sick little girl.
Speaker 4 (26:03):
She had this disease called neurofibromatosis one, which they treat
like cancer. It's not cancro's tumors, but it's tumors that
they treat with all these cancer drugs. Her picture, I mean,
she was six years old. She looked like she was three,
no hair, glasses, crooked and something about this little girl.
And I think I saw myself and her. I really
think I connected with her. And so next thing, you know,
(26:25):
I moved them into my house to go on this
mission to find like alternative methods because it looked like
the cancer treatment was harming her.
Speaker 3 (26:34):
So Christian and I took it upon ourselves.
Speaker 4 (26:35):
We were in osteopath this one, this one, this one
an Abby, my partner who I made the business of
being born with.
Speaker 3 (26:40):
I'm telling her. I'm like, I've got this little girl
and her mom in my house.
Speaker 4 (26:43):
She's like, what And when telling her the story, I'm
telling her about cannabis blah blah blah.
Speaker 3 (26:47):
We're talking to cannabis doctors.
Speaker 4 (26:48):
She's like, I think this is our next movie, and
so we started the movie focusing on this little girl.
Ultimately they pulled out of the movie the project. You know,
it was devastating because I didn't in the movie. I
wanted this little girl in my life, sure, and so
we parted ways unfortunately, but that was the catalyst or
the start of this six year journey of making this movie.
(27:09):
It's really powerful in that it really re educates about
the history of the plant, you know, what was done
to kind of smear the smear campaign, not unlike Midwives
with my first film, the Business being Born. So it
was a great film and it's really Christian's legacy.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
Well, you know, it did change the way I felt
about my own pot consumption because I had such sixty
year old oh my god, this is a bad thing
to do. And then it becomes legal, right, So I
remember the first time I was here when it was legal,
and I call one of my friends and say, do
you got any pot you can bring over?
Speaker 2 (27:41):
Because I wouldn't travel with that.
Speaker 1 (27:43):
I was like totally afraid I would go to jail. Yeah,
and they go just call up medmen or I'm.
Speaker 3 (27:49):
Like, what did medmen exist? Then?
Speaker 1 (27:50):
When it first became legal, this is the first time
I ever got pot, like from a legitimate store. Okay,
So I went online and I was like, uh, yeah,
I'm at the hotel and oh great, Rosie, Oh what
room you mean. I'm like, I'll just come down to
the lobby. They're like, oh, okay, great. Well, so we
got the two high brins of sativa, and you know,
(28:11):
I have no idea what the what really is going
on at this point, And I get down and I
get there and the guy walks in with like a
T shirt and a messenger bag that says.
Speaker 2 (28:22):
Med men on it.
Speaker 1 (28:23):
You know.
Speaker 2 (28:24):
Yeah, I was thinking we were gonna go here, buddy,
here's the cash.
Speaker 1 (28:27):
It's two sixty, right, And he was like, great, Rosie,
is there anything else you need? And have you ever
tried a gummy? You know you might want to try it?
And I was blown away. I went back to my
room feeling like a criminal who was wanted amazing, And
to this day still sometimes feel I feel a little
bit like.
Speaker 2 (28:46):
Ooh, I'm doing something illegal.
Speaker 4 (28:48):
Wow, well I feel I shout it from the rooftops.
I mean, I love cannabis. And I was also when
I did my talk show, I was the disciple of
Nancy Reagan. I was like the just not of drugs,
you know, very judgmental, very fear filled, not open mind
in the least.
Speaker 3 (29:04):
And now you know, I've done plant, I've done.
Speaker 2 (29:05):
A ton of like, yeah you did ayahwasca.
Speaker 3 (29:07):
I've done ayahuasca a dozen times.
Speaker 2 (29:09):
And I say, how much it terrifies me.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
It is, first of all, I'm on an SSRI and
you can't take it's ninety nine, so I can't do it.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
But let's just say I wasn't. I would never do it.
Speaker 1 (29:20):
The concept that you're going to be that out of
control and you're going to throw up and poop your
pants and you know, and then you're going to see
hallucinations like that's my idea.
Speaker 3 (29:30):
But then the.
Speaker 4 (29:32):
After effect is you heal your demons. You have no
fear of death. I mean, you have ego death like
like I'm telling you, and I'm not encouraging you to
do it anyone, So don't worry.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
Don't.
Speaker 4 (29:45):
But my experiences doing ayahuasca have been life changing, life changing,
for example, and I hate it.
Speaker 3 (29:52):
It's horrible.
Speaker 4 (29:53):
It's going to like the depths of like the darkest places,
and then you see the light.
Speaker 3 (29:57):
I mean you see God.
Speaker 4 (29:59):
I mean one time I was in the redwoods up
in northern California during the day. It was the one
and only time I did it in daylight, and I
remember just being on my knees, my hands touching the
ground underneath these incredible redwoods, and I was tears and
I'm just I'm seeing and feeling the Earth's heartbeat in
my hands.
Speaker 3 (30:17):
It was the most and I mean other things.
Speaker 4 (30:19):
I mean, that's the biggest thing that happened to me
was I made amends to my father, my children, and
you know, I had so much anger and just poison
inside of me because of that marriage ending. And so
in the end I came out of that experience saying, oh,
I need to take responsibility for my part in this.
And it was incredibly healing for me, I think for him,
(30:43):
but also I made amends in front of Owen, my
youngest son, who was probably eight or nine at that time.
It was mean, it was I never in a million years,
I didn't go in with that intention, but it was
just incredibly was It was definitely changed my life.
Speaker 1 (30:58):
You know, Melissa Ethrige it as well, and she has
a new one woman show that I saw off Broadway
over Christmas and the whole like last third of it
is about an ayahuasca trip, about journeying, as she calls it,
and I so couldn't relate to any of it, Like
I was there going this would never like she made
(31:20):
it seem like it was some psychedelic something from the
seventies that was gonna be fun. But I just had
anxiety watching her talk about it.
Speaker 4 (31:29):
Yeah, we have the same I know her, I know
her shaman or whatever. You you know, the person who
facilitates I know, I know we've never sat together, but
you know, Lisa and Cindy really and Sindea, they were
a part of our film. I mean they weren't in it,
but they were part of our journey in getting well.
Speaker 2 (31:46):
They were like pioneers.
Speaker 1 (31:47):
They had this great hoot sales business and then it
happened they got.
Speaker 3 (31:53):
Through by the landlord.
Speaker 4 (31:54):
I don't remember the whole thing, but Lisa, who's I'm
still very close to you.
Speaker 3 (31:58):
She did my grow my girl, my property. So she Yeah,
so that the medicine that you.
Speaker 4 (32:03):
I gave you, it's she's there's her strains her babies,
and she taught us how to do it.
Speaker 2 (32:08):
And yeah, lovely. How are they doing?
Speaker 4 (32:11):
Lisa is okay? I mean I haven't seen her since
we harvested. But Cindy took her life like a year
or two after. Do not know this I did.
Speaker 2 (32:19):
I'm telling you that I thought, Yeah she did. She
suffered a lot.
Speaker 3 (32:26):
She suffered like Christian.
Speaker 4 (32:27):
She and Christian were very tight and they both kind
of were from the same planet. Because I think Christian
was an alien and we've talked about this. You believe
to go to my few she actually she tells me
a lot that she is. I believe that they there
are certain special people, particularly some people who have challenges
that are mentally ill, but they can tap into something
else that we can't. And uh, Cindy, Yeah, Cindy died
(32:50):
about three years ago.
Speaker 2 (32:51):
Wow, I about. That's so sad.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
You know, mental illness when people like Christian and her
and friends of mine, and.
Speaker 2 (32:58):
Uh, it has to be changed.
Speaker 1 (33:00):
We have to deal with treating mental illness compassionately and medically,
and it has to change.
Speaker 4 (33:08):
It feels impossible because the system, you know, we don't
take care of our people. And you know, I just
know what I went through with Christian, which this Saturday
is the six year anniversary of his.
Speaker 2 (33:17):
Death, and you saw him just two nights before.
Speaker 4 (33:22):
He died, three nights before we Yeah, that was through
the last times I saw him. And I actually did
everything that everybody told me not to do. I mean
I had been trying to separate and have started my
life over, yes, after his second about with you know,
a psychotic episode, and I just had to remove myself
for months, you know. And then I just threw myself
and did working out and taking care of myself. And
(33:43):
he came back through through LA and asked to see me,
and I was leaving for London shortly after, and so
he and I had dinner.
Speaker 2 (33:51):
You know.
Speaker 3 (33:51):
Everyone said, meet him for coffee during the day. Yeah,
don't bring him home, don't have alcohol. You know.
Speaker 4 (33:57):
I did everything that everyone said not to do, and
I brought him home and we did, you know, spend
the night together and make love all night. And it
was his goodbye to me. And I'm so glad I
didn't reject him in that moment, because I would have
felt very differently about his passing. But I mean that
relationship and you met him because I remember telling yeah
podcast in Nayaki. Yes, yes, I'm having a flashback.
Speaker 2 (34:18):
By all of them.
Speaker 1 (34:19):
Honey, I can name all of your boys. I've been
in finality, right, Well, come on.
Speaker 2 (34:25):
Say should we do?
Speaker 6 (34:27):
Then?
Speaker 4 (34:28):
I didn't lose my virginity until I was almost twenty one.
I got married at twenty five to Rob. I you know,
stayed married till thirty five met Apollo. Was in that
relationship for three and a half years, and then I
turned into a slut.
Speaker 1 (34:40):
Now, honey, I always tell people Ricky Lake, you are
my spirit animal. I love how you go at love
and grab it with both hands. I love how you
live your life. The family relationships that you have made
with your friends are thicker than most families.
Speaker 2 (34:57):
That I know.
Speaker 3 (34:57):
Chosen family, Your.
Speaker 1 (34:59):
Chosen family, strong and vibrant and well tended to by you.
You're an amazing woman, you really are. And one day
you have to take me to burning Man, and all
this is for being recorded. Right, one day, are you
gonna take me to Burning Man? I'm gonna like maybe
have a little a little golf.
Speaker 3 (35:18):
Little mushroom little Oh, come on, I.
Speaker 2 (35:21):
Haven't done mushrooms now. I'm very much as honey.
Speaker 4 (35:24):
It's I mean, you're never too old, never too old whatever.
I'm not pushing psychedelics on anyone. I just know, like,
like I'm the best me I've ever been because of
like my open minded like I'm I was gonna say
I'm a secret, but I don't know if it's about that.
Speaker 3 (35:39):
Like I just I'm just open.
Speaker 1 (35:42):
You live your life in full gear with all the colors,
like you use every man outs of color in life,
and you fucking let it wash over you. And it's
the most beautiful thing to I've been your friend for
thirty years and to know that this is who you are.
Speaker 3 (35:58):
Thank you. I love my life.
Speaker 4 (36:00):
I love particularly now like this is I mean, I
wake up with my guy singing, we go to bed.
I mean, it's just from like the start of the day,
it's just joy and play.
Speaker 1 (36:11):
And he's a man. He's a wonderful, wonderful man. Can
you believe we're so different?
Speaker 4 (36:16):
Like he comes from this devout Mormon background, right, you know,
I just I can't.
Speaker 3 (36:22):
Here's what I think. I mean.
Speaker 4 (36:23):
I believe Christian brought him to me. I believe Christian
had to leave. I mean, and I know this sounds crazy.
Speaker 2 (36:30):
No, I don't know, honey.
Speaker 4 (36:31):
I really don't care how I sound, because I know
what I believe and Christian.
Speaker 3 (36:35):
He didn't want to leave me.
Speaker 4 (36:36):
He was so in love with me, but he couldn't
like it just it's just he was not of this planet.
And when I met him, when I had the house
fire here on this beach, you know, he and I
came together through that fire, and I believe it was
divine intervention. And he was supposed to be my greatest teacher.
He stayed for six and a half years. And you know,
when I married him, I knew I was he was
like a patient.
Speaker 3 (36:56):
I mean I was he was.
Speaker 4 (36:57):
I was his caretaker and I knew I was signing
on for that. And we had a pact. And he
said to me when we got married, it was just
the two of us at the Saniel Siegra Ranch in Montecito.
He said to me, we are together for something greater
than just us. I didn't know really what he was
talking about that time. But like through the journey of
losing him, like I believe he's now taking care of me,
(37:18):
like I know, I know I feel it. Ross feels
it because it just doesn't make sense how Ross and
I got together.
Speaker 3 (37:25):
We would never have met.
Speaker 4 (37:26):
We lived in the same city, my apartment in the
Marina del Rey where you came over here. He lived
on the beach side. You know, he's a corporate attorney.
He's new to La so not that's fat. He's tall,
he's a big man.
Speaker 2 (37:40):
He's a six six currently man.
Speaker 3 (37:41):
He's currently two hundred and fifty nine pounds. We're both
losing weight like you are. We brought We're feeling so good.
Speaker 4 (37:48):
But anyway, it's just I believe Christian is my angel
and my greatest teacher. And I've learned so much about
mental illness, about just eternal love, unconditional love. And the
best part is that I now love myself the way
he loved me.
Speaker 2 (38:04):
How beautiful Ricky.
Speaker 1 (38:06):
And on this sixth anniversary of his passing, you know,
let's all take God time and feel it and remember him.
He was a beautiful, free spirited man and he did
love you greatly, and it was obvious, you know. But
you know there's so much mental illness. Love doesn't have
(38:26):
a say.
Speaker 2 (38:27):
Right. Well, listen, this is the first.
Speaker 1 (38:31):
Time I've ever gotten eye and done really anything work related.
Speaker 3 (38:34):
Really.
Speaker 1 (38:34):
Yeah. I would have a beer sometimes doing stand up
before I went on, but I must spoke my pot
alone and hang out and vibe in my house. You know,
I'm not as No, let's get high and go somewhere.
Speaker 2 (38:48):
No.
Speaker 1 (38:49):
Now, if it's a bunch of us like it was
the other night, yeah, that's a different thing.
Speaker 6 (38:52):
Now.
Speaker 2 (38:52):
Why anxiety?
Speaker 3 (38:54):
Anxiety because someone else is going to judge you what it.
Speaker 1 (38:57):
Know, because you're going to be out of contry in public.
I don't want to be at the mercy of other
people's mind. I want my mind to be focused on
getting myself there and back in the car and making
sure Dakota has what she wants. And you know, but
when I have my alone time, you know, I'll definitely
take an edible or two and put on something that
(39:19):
really moved me and watch it for the three times
in a row and take notes, you know.
Speaker 4 (39:25):
Yeah, I mean we get high every night and it's
like it's it's the best.
Speaker 3 (39:29):
It's the best. Anyway, here we digress, all right.
Speaker 7 (39:32):
I love you, Rick, I love you too.
Speaker 1 (39:54):
Hey, we're back, and now we've got some questions from
you or comments, little voice memos that you leave for
me at onward Rosie at gmail dot com. There you go,
onward Rosie at gmail dot com. We get those emails.
They put together some of the questions, and I hear
(40:15):
them for the first time right here, So we're going
to get into that right now. First question, roll it
would you?
Speaker 6 (40:21):
Hey, Rosie, my name is Mark. I'm a nurse in Washington, DC.
I'm a gay guy in my mid thirties. I'm looking
for some dating advice. I've been really consumed in getting
my masters this past couple years and also really trying
to find a committed boyfriend. But it's been super difficult.
Dates have not been going far. Do you have any
(40:44):
advice on where I should be looking, what I should
be doing, anything in regards could use your help, Thanks, Rosie.
Speaker 1 (40:52):
Sure, honey, I'll be glad to give you help. Although
I don't have the best record in romance, but I
think it's really important to find someone who is like minded.
You know that you have the same kind of values
and outlook on the world, and that's not always easy
to do. But if you go to places that really
interest you, like for me, the theater or to art
(41:13):
shows or museums, you know, and I find that people
who have similar interests like that, it's a great place
to start. I think that you know tender and bumble
and swipey, swipe swipe. I don't think that that's the
way that people really get a sense of who each
other really really who they are. Because we curate our
(41:36):
own image in social media, it's not an accurate portrayal
of who we are, and I think there's a lot
of misinformation and non accurate assumptions that you make when
it's solely a social media kind of relationship. So I
would say, go to places that you like. It sounds
like you've been very busy, and congratulations on getting your
(41:59):
masters and being a nurse. I think nurses are the
heartbeat of the country and if it wasn't for them,
no one would ever get well. Their job is to
love and to heal people. Can you imagine that that
that's your job to love and to heal people, and
they do it and they care for them. Their job
is caring and loving. So congratulations to you on having
(42:20):
that wonderful, wonderful career, and congratulations on getting your masters
and now work on the other part of your life.
You seem to have gotten the career trajectory really right,
and I know romance will be on the way. Go slow, honey,
there's no rush, and good luck let me know how
it goes. We got time for one more. Here we
(42:42):
go roll it when you got a minute.
Speaker 8 (42:45):
Hi, Rosie. My name is Laura, and I have a
question for you that you may or may not want
to answer. But I was wondering, when did you start
to notice that there might be something not adding up
for Dakota, I asked, because a lot of times girls
(43:06):
are not diagnosed until much later. So I'm just curious
when when did that journey of questioning start for you?
Speaker 1 (43:15):
Okay, no, thank you, thank you, great question. Thank you
so much. I'd love to answer it. Here's the thing.
When she was one, she said full sentences that were
lines from Frozen. So I was sitting with her, she
had just turned one, had just had her birthday. She
was sitting on my lap. We were watching Frozen, and
(43:38):
right before Oloff says I've been impaled. She looks at
me and says I've been impaled.
Speaker 2 (43:45):
And I said what?
Speaker 1 (43:46):
And then I hear the TV I've been impaled? And
then she looks at the TV and I was like,
did you just recite that sentence? Not only did she
recite it, but it sounded exactly like Olof Like it
was kind of creepy.
Speaker 2 (44:01):
Now, she was my fifth.
Speaker 1 (44:02):
Kid that I had, and I also had some two
foster kids, and you know, I've raised a lot of kids,
and I knew something was different about about Dakota. That is,
the first thing was was the I've been impaled, or
maybe right before that, the fact that she didn't seem
to answer to her name. There was sort of nothing
(44:25):
you could do to get if you said Dakota, she
wouldn't turn. Now, at some point I started calling her
a monkey and making a noise like eat, you know, hey, monkey, eat,
And when I did the e eat, she'd turn around.
So she responded to the sound more than to the words.
So I took her in. And I had had kids
(44:47):
who had other issues of learning difficulties, and I was
familiar with what we had to do. So I went
and got her the tests that were appropriate and met
with some autism doctors and they told me her diagnosis
from the time she was too And you know, I'm
so happy that I knew early on what to look for,
(45:09):
and that I knew where to get her the help,
and that I'm fortunate enough to be able to afford
to get her the best help, and that has to
change in America. Everyone needs to get their kids who
are suffering healthy, and it should be available to all people.
I firmly believe that, you know, socialized medicine. I believe
(45:33):
that we have to take care of our citizens and
starts with the smallest of them.
Speaker 2 (45:39):
So thank you for that.
Speaker 1 (45:40):
She's an amazing, amazing young person and I'm in love
with her. I think she's the greatest and her confidence
is inspiring. So thank you for caring about her. I
appreciate it. All right, everybody, that's it for today. There
it is. We are done, and I hope you enjoyed.
(46:00):
Ricky Lake, I love her so much. Thank you, rick
Next week, guess who we have Stephanie Mills, who is
an amazing mom to a special needs son with Down syndrome.
We talk all about our special needs kids and how
it's changed us. I saw her first on Broadway when
she was just seventeen years old, starring in The Whiz,
(46:23):
and it was one of the best things I have
ever seen on stage in my life. I'm so happy
that we became friends and we've remained friends, and I
love her so much. Stephanie Mills is my guest next Tuesday.
Here on onward with Rosie o'donald
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