Behind the Mask: The life and crimes of costumed characters

From college mascots getting arrested, to Gritty being investigated for fighting a kid, to the battlin' superheroes of Times Square, and on out west to the tourist wrasslin' costumed characters of Hollywood Blvd, this week Zaron amuses Elizabeth with tales from life behind the mask. It's wild how a little bit of cloth can make a person act out. 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Ridiculous crime. It's a production of iHeartRadio.

Speaker 2 (00:06):
Dos Aaron, what's nice to see you?

Speaker 3 (00:08):
Good to see you. Have a question for you, my friend,
I do. I do think back to like I don't
know about you, but in my twenties, a lot of
the of the time was characterized by like dive bars,
vinyl records. Was that whole thing for that?

Speaker 2 (00:26):
Yes?

Speaker 3 (00:27):
Right?

Speaker 2 (00:27):
This?

Speaker 3 (00:30):
Okay? Well, this comes to us from ut a rude
dude on Instagram, Lindsay Max, and uh, it's okay. So
it involves Miller High Life. Okay, the Champagne.

Speaker 2 (00:44):
Of spears, the Champagne beer.

Speaker 3 (00:47):
And so they have this thing. I'm not going to
beat around the bush. I'm just going to get right
to it. They're selling this thing on their website, although
it is sold out, called Dive Bar Sounds, and let
me read you the description. No, Miller High Life is
bottling up the authentic sounds of dive bars. With Dive

(01:07):
Bar Sounds, the first ever beer infused vinyl record made
with the Champagne of beers inside.

Speaker 2 (01:15):
Oh my god, it's in the record.

Speaker 3 (01:17):
Oh look, it's like floating around. It's a it's a
hollow vinyl with beer floating in it.

Speaker 2 (01:24):
From what I understand, I've watched like, you know, the
Jack White's White Stripe record plant where they make the record,
so I've seen recently how they do it, and like
they smear the stuff. How are you going to get
the beer in there?

Speaker 3 (01:35):
Still? I don't know if it stays liquid. I haven't
seen any video of its spinning.

Speaker 2 (01:40):
I mean, is its sealed in like a little looseight?

Speaker 3 (01:42):
That's like that could be either way.

Speaker 2 (01:45):
It's wild.

Speaker 3 (01:46):
It continues that it's the only Like I said, it's
the first ever beer infused vinyl record made with a
champagne of beers inside. It says every dive bar tells
its story through sound. I would beg to differ.

Speaker 2 (01:59):
I have a problem that statement will go.

Speaker 3 (02:00):
On the welcome creek of the door, the familiar clink
of high Life, and the low hum of conversations.

Speaker 2 (02:06):
Through highlight in there.

Speaker 3 (02:07):
Yeah, right now, these iconic sounds are captured in this
high Life infused vinyl. No cover charge. Need to just
set the record spinning and let high Life bring the
soundtrack of your favorite neighborhood.

Speaker 2 (02:17):
Spot to you. It's a recording of a bar.

Speaker 3 (02:19):
Yeah, So if you're too depressed to leave the house
and you want to still drink your miller and you
can put that on in.

Speaker 2 (02:26):
You know your my new writing music. I'm going to
get me one of these LPs.

Speaker 3 (02:29):
Let me tell you the the tracks.

Speaker 2 (02:31):
Oh there's music.

Speaker 3 (02:31):
Side A Welcome to the Dive. It's a minute twenty
five okay, twenty six Champagne Nights, Happy Hour.

Speaker 2 (02:39):
Wait, they're moving me through moods too quickly.

Speaker 3 (02:41):
I know, rack them up. That's a four minute, five
second epic. At the end of side A, Side B
kicks off Regular's remix Another Round, and the last track
is last Call four minutes forty eight second, kicking me
out of the bar. Then they should have lights on.

Speaker 2 (02:57):
It's a quick night. They're just rushing you through this.

Speaker 3 (03:00):
Help it's so it's so cool but so not cool, so.

Speaker 2 (03:07):
Just funny but upseting a very interesting area.

Speaker 3 (03:10):
So yeah, that's what the that's what the vinyl looks like.
We'll put it up on Instagram. And I was like,
you know what I need one of these? Did you
do you get I don't go to dive bars anymore?
But it's sold out.

Speaker 2 (03:22):
Now you're an eBay waiting with an.

Speaker 3 (03:25):
I guess it doesn't it doesn't ship until July of
twenty twenty five. Wow, that's this year. Yeah, but that's
not anytime soon.

Speaker 2 (03:35):
It's deep into the summer.

Speaker 3 (03:36):
So AnyWho, God, like a hot night playing that, sitting
by yourself, pretending you have friends.

Speaker 2 (03:42):
Throw on a crackling log and just like one of
those videos of on YouTube.

Speaker 3 (03:47):
Hire someone to go in and pee all over your
bathroom so that when you go in there it's an
authentic feeling. And there's no toilet paper. Yeah, it sinks
backed up. That's ridiculous.

Speaker 2 (04:00):
That ridiculous. Finally you got me on a mash up
I did. Okay, if you know what else is ridiculous,
please tell me. Okay, well, I would love to, so
I'll just start up top. Let's say you're wearing a costume.

Speaker 3 (04:12):
You're wearing a costume.

Speaker 2 (04:14):
Wow, God, that sounds good right now that we've said that.
What did I say? Why did I say that? Why
did I get you to say? Great question, Elizabeth. Let's
say you're wearing a costume. Don't invitate that a huge
furry mascot costume.

Speaker 3 (04:27):
No no, no, no no no.

Speaker 2 (04:28):
Ironically, you think you're invisible. You can do anything you
want because it's not you doing it, it's the mascot,
and that's how you get arrested. Today, I want to
tell you about folks who thought they were above the
law because they're wearing a mascot costume, which is ridiculous.

Speaker 3 (04:45):
That's ridiculous.

Speaker 2 (05:06):
This is ridiculous crime. A podcast about absurd and outrageous capers,
ice and cons. It's always ninety nine percent murder free
and one hundred percent of ridiculous ridiculous. Oh, Elizabeth, Today
I wanted to talk to you about masks. No, not
like the kind we wore in the height of the pandemic.

Speaker 3 (05:25):
You know, I keep that thing on me.

Speaker 2 (05:26):
I know you do.

Speaker 3 (05:27):
I got it in my pocketbook because if I go
to the store and it's crowded, people of gross slap,
that thing goes on.

Speaker 2 (05:33):
Oh yeah, I'm one of those folks who still where
I'm on planes.

Speaker 3 (05:35):
Like, someone said, why do you still wear your mask?
And I was like, because people are disgusting this full
full stop there it's there are a lot of things
out there.

Speaker 2 (05:45):
Discuss disease bags.

Speaker 3 (05:46):
Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 2 (05:47):
Well, so I'm talking more about fun masks, like think
halloween masks, masks for pranks, silly rituals masks for decadent
sinister parties in Venice, Italy.

Speaker 3 (05:57):
Those are terrifying.

Speaker 2 (05:58):
Yeah, right of fun. So which brings us to William
Golding's book Lord of the Flies. Okay, quite the leap,
I'm sure.

Speaker 3 (06:05):
Yeah, I'm going to hold the conk on this one.

Speaker 2 (06:07):
Elizabeth. You remember this book obviously, so the nuns make
you read it at Catholic school. You read it on
your own.

Speaker 3 (06:12):
We actually read it in Catholic school.

Speaker 2 (06:14):
Okay, what do you guys have any insights on it
as an all girls school?

Speaker 3 (06:17):
I don't know. No.

Speaker 2 (06:18):
Well, my man William Golding, friend of the show, was
a tremendous writer, poet, just an interesting cornishman, and he's
most famous for his first novel, Lord of the Flies. Now,
although it's one of those books you teachers make you read,
I would recommend it if you haven't read it. I
love that William Golding like uses this story about these
shipwrecked British schoolboys who are left on their own without adults,

(06:39):
and then it shows how they but really, any of
us can just pretty much speed run our way right
back to like humanity, savage.

Speaker 3 (06:45):
Passage, yes, exactly, civilization.

Speaker 2 (06:47):
Is just merely this thin patina we all wear on
our animal selves.

Speaker 3 (06:51):
So in the fourth it's an honor system, yeah, that
we're finding doesn't really there's.

Speaker 2 (06:56):
Unforcible, yes exactly, it's all a promisory note you hope
no one that cashes or we all pass along. Now.
In the fourth chapter of the book, Painted Faces in
Long Hair, that's the name of the chapter, Golding, he
focuses his keen powers of observation with the human condition,
on the power of masks to change who we are.
Right now, Lizabeth, I'm not sure if you remember this chapter,
but the key moments come during the early pig hunts. Okay,

(07:19):
so we have the two main characters, Ralph and Jack,
and they've seen the wild pig and the jungle at
this point, and the tusk boar it scares them because
it's a tusk boar, Yeah, the thing it can kill them.
And so Jack, the bully kid, is like, he's too
scared to kill the boar at first, but then this
ancient idea kind of takes hold of him and he
he smears charcoal on his face and he makes this

(07:39):
mask and allows him to believe he's invisible to the
wild pig, and this time the hunt is successful. He
kills the boar. Right now, the key part is when
he sees his reflection, when he sees himself in the
charcoal mask. Well, I'll just let William Golding tell go
back to the book quote. He looked in astonishment, no
longer at himself, but had an awesome stranger. He spilt

(08:00):
the water and leaped to his feet, laughing excitedly. Beside
the pool. His sinewy body held up a mask that
drew their eyes and appalled them. He began to dance,
and his laughter became a bloodthirsty snarling. He capered toward Bill,
and the mask was a thing on its own behind
which Jack hid, liberated from shame and self consciousness. So

(08:21):
William Coling just nails exactly what I'm talking about to him, right,
It's not just that Jack the wild man has come
to life, but the mask releases him, and the mask
allows his wild side just to emerge and wreck shop.
It does the same for all of us. Right, we
think we can kill the boar at least, you know,
it beat the pig.

Speaker 3 (08:40):
Isn't it killed the pig?

Speaker 2 (08:41):
Drink its blood, killed the pig. So Lizabeth did you
ever wear a Halloween costume where you had on a
mask that made you unrecognizable? Did you act out?

Speaker 3 (08:51):
I don't know if I would act out those ones.
That clear mask was just like the makeup on They're terrifying.
They're terrifying, and so I used to like to wear
that kind of be creepy, creepier, I.

Speaker 2 (09:03):
Should say of the week.

Speaker 3 (09:04):
You know what's interesting, though, is I recently had to
get glasses aside from my reading glasses, distance glasses, and
I you know, didn't have them before. And when I'd
be out in public and i'd have glasses on my face,
there are sunglasses and it allowed me to stare at
people and they didn't know because I turned your head
a little bit off. And then I found myself doing

(09:26):
that with the regular glasses and being like, oh dang,
wait they see me. Oh boy, like everyone can see
my eyes.

Speaker 2 (09:32):
Like I had to retrain.

Speaker 3 (09:33):
Myself to not have that mask of the invisibility cloak
of sunglasses.

Speaker 2 (09:38):
I know exactly what you mean. You give me a
pair of dark enough sunglasses, I will act wild.

Speaker 3 (09:42):
Oh yeah, And I were like blacked out, like big
stunner shades, like you can't see my face. It's a
whole shield before I but yeah, I can see like
a mask. I feel like that would also be more
appealing to little boys to wear the mask, And.

Speaker 2 (09:57):
I don't know about that from what we're finding it.
So the psychology has a term for this. It's called
d individuation. There's a psychologist, Leon Festinger. He coined this
term back in the nineteen fifties and he was coming
out of World War Two and he's trying to make
sense of how people do such monstrous things but do
it like it's a day job. And he Festinger finds
that d individuation is this process in which a situation

(10:18):
overcomes people and they feel they cannot be individuated or
isolated from others. That therefore they are anonymous. They are
one of many in the mob. They are masked by numbers.
They are unknowable and not responsible. Right. This also happens
in cities. Right, But this phenomenon takes all new aspects
in our modern times because well, just think of the Internet. Yeah, right,
It's just one giant mask. That's why people act so

(10:40):
foul and online in the ways that they would never
in person. The Internet is basically Halloween twenty four to seven,
three sixty five. Right, so people get they put on
a mask and start acting out. But what fun is
it to talk about all that? In seid, I want
to tell you about the stories with big furry mascots
got the mistaken idea that they had de individuated and
no one could live out. Yeah, they're not responsible for

(11:00):
they do. Of course, you know this idea is terribly wrong.
So you know, like when a toddler covers their eyes,
anythink they can't see you? Yeah, so let's take a
jog back to two thousand and six. We'll start local. Elizabeth,
I know your family are alumni. Are you a col fan?

Speaker 4 (11:15):
Yes?

Speaker 2 (11:16):
Yeah? Right, okay, so this one is special for you.
I found this one. Did you know that the mascot
of Cal's chief rival, Stanford, who we've talked about in
the past, the Stanford Tree, Stanford Tree got stories? Oh yeah,
did you know that Stanford Tree once got busted by
the UC Berkeley police. Why you ask, great question, Elizabeth.
Apparently the Stanford Tree, which is this as in, you know,
in case people don't know, an enormous seven foot tall

(11:38):
anthropomorphic redwood.

Speaker 3 (11:39):
Essentially, we have a whole episode about it totally.

Speaker 2 (11:41):
It's a great thing. And the Stanford versus Cal basketball game,
this Stanford Tree was doing what the Stanford Tree does best,
firing up the crowd, right. But inside the tree is
this this young woman, Aaron Lashnitz, a fifth year undergraduate
biology student at Stanford, right, and she was on one
that day. Aaron was like celebrating. Right. So a little
before halftime, Stanford Tree comes running out on the basketball court,

(12:03):
not at a home game, right, So onto the cowl court,
which they've been told they know they're not supposed to,
but they're at whatever. They start prancing around like at Stanford,
and they're taunting the Cow teams. They're fans, right, no
problem there, that's fine whatever, But if they were home
at Stanford, they'd be totally kosher. But it's not kosher
because they're at Berkeley. So Berkeley, you know, they assist
an athletic director starts getting irritated. He gathers some Cal cops,

(12:27):
right because for away game, Sanford Tree is supposed to
keep her jubilations or in case of their jubilations, confined
to the area just under the basket, opposite of the action. Right,
they're not supposed to even go really on the court.

Speaker 3 (12:38):
They give me kind of it's pretty standard.

Speaker 2 (12:40):
Yeah, they're going out almost into like half court. Basically
they're practically in the game. Yeah. Like I said, Stanford
Tree was on one that day. She was feeling herself,
so she keeps going out there dancing her arboreal ass off. Right,
But this caught the attention, and they said UC Berkeley
Police cal assistant athletic director. Eventually he blows his top,
so he says like, hey, he makes the cops go

(13:01):
and do cop behavior at her. So you start casting
a suspicious eye at the Stanford Tree, and that's when
they notice it, right. They apparently when she wasn't dancing
on court, the Stanford Tree was sipping on a flask
that she'd secreted inside the tree mascot costume. I don't
even know how she was doing that, but the cows
assistant athletic director, this dude, Kevin Clintworth, he said, quote

(13:23):
she was taking drinks inside the tree. The officers could
see the flask through the costume because.

Speaker 3 (13:28):
It's sort of mesh in between the various tears.

Speaker 2 (13:30):
Exactly, and especially around the facebook with the big eyes.
A spokesperson for the Stanford band, who they're in charge
of the Stanford Tree. They defended their Redwood mascot, arguing
that quote she wasn't doing anything offensive. She was just
jumping and dancing. The tree's movement is usually consistent with
that of someone who's had something to drink. It is
because apparently she was just drunkenly eventually dancing around. He

(13:53):
got this drunken Stanford Tree completely. So I mean think
of it as like a line of defense your honor.
Is impossible for law enforcement to discern if my client
is intoxicated, because they always appear to be under the
influence closed. So what happened to the Stanford Tree? You see?
Berkeley treats the Stanford Tree just like any other perp there.
I don't care if you're a mascot. So they take

(14:13):
her off the court, They make her do a field
sobriety test. The Stanford Tree blows a point one five
blood alcohol. Oh yeah, twice a legal limit. Right, that's
enough that she could catch a drunk driving But because
she's in public, she catches a charge of public drunkenness.

Speaker 3 (14:27):
Oh. I was gonna say, like, what operating a costume?
So how do you get her.

Speaker 2 (14:31):
Yeah, there's no such thing as operating a tree while intoxicated.

Speaker 3 (14:34):
Well, and I think that it's you know, the university
is state property. I don't know about alcohol consumption. Oh,
I don't know if you.

Speaker 2 (14:42):
Can state park it's a state property.

Speaker 3 (14:45):
Yeah, but like there may be I don't know.

Speaker 2 (14:47):
No, but you can't be you can't be terribly drunk
in public and on state property. They can say, oh,
we're you know, using the rights of state property against you.
It's kind of like private property. Someone can go, hey,
I'm kicking you out because you're too drunk, like in
a bar.

Speaker 3 (15:00):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (15:00):
Anyway, So my point being, what happens to the Stanford
tree now that she's been told, hey, you've blown a
point one time, you gotta stop operating the tree, pull
over the tree.

Speaker 3 (15:10):
Dehydration levels and then sucking out of a flask, sipping
like whiskey or she's drinking vodka and brown liquor.

Speaker 2 (15:20):
Oh yeah, oh got it. Yeah. So at this point
they tell her like, look, you have to leave, but
they don't.

Speaker 3 (15:27):
Want her to, ma'am.

Speaker 2 (15:28):
They can't want her to drive, right, so they's like,
let's wait for you to catch a ride with the band.
You can wait, but they're like, we can't kick her out,
and so they let her wait in the grand stand.
And there's no mention in the news stories if if
she took off the mascot costume. But I like to
think she's still dressed as the tree up there in
the grand stand, kind of like swerving, like getting lazy by,
like late in the game, she's leaning back on somebody.

(15:51):
So asked about this incident Aaron, the student inside the tree,
she said she doubted the cops b a c test.
She suggested the quote, I don't think that these things lie.
But I felt fine and I was certainly able to
do my job. So your honor, well, my clienty have
had a drink or too, and in no way did

(16:11):
the alcohol impair their performance as a cheerleading tree who
already x drunk.

Speaker 3 (16:15):
She she can easily operate at a point two point
two five.

Speaker 2 (16:20):
I've seen her, and the tree is already technically supposed
to act drunk. So really is consistent? Yeah, this is
on veme on brand. So Elizabeth, if you're wondering, Yes,
the Aarin, the student inside the Stanford Tree, was suspended,
but not from school, just from being the mascot tree.

Speaker 3 (16:35):
It shouldn't affect her academic career.

Speaker 2 (16:37):
No, it really shouldn't well rated. Let's let's keep it
forest based because I also have a Robinhood story for you. Okay, Now,
he's a mascot, so who dresses up as Robin Hood
in Sherwood Forest, but not the one in England. Instead,
he was busted outside of Little Rock, Arkansas, because there's
a Sherewood, Arkansas.

Speaker 3 (16:54):
Was he dressed as the as the cute animated fox.

Speaker 2 (16:58):
No, no, Robin hood Yoh yeah, the mascot he was
getting busted. I found the story from local KATV at
a Little Rock at Arkansas aka seven on your Side,
and the lead was I was driving by here and
I saw a man dressed like Robin Hood, handcuffed and
talking to police officers, said Sherwood resident Michael Levy.

Speaker 3 (17:16):
Like Kevin Costner Robin Hood style.

Speaker 2 (17:18):
Yeah, but more like cartoony version, like with pockets on
his little green outfit and the green tights and like
a little hat like so it's more like Errol Flynn
thirty style.

Speaker 3 (17:26):
I love it.

Speaker 2 (17:27):
Yeah, So nine centuries ago in the.

Speaker 3 (17:30):
Brian I'm sorry to interrupt again, was Brian Adams.

Speaker 2 (17:33):
Anywhere in the area.

Speaker 3 (17:34):
His famous he should have been Robin Hood.

Speaker 2 (17:36):
What a menace that guy was. I saw a meme
recently about what a menace he was in the nineties
with that song. He had, a song wouldn't go away
for like months.

Speaker 3 (17:43):
Can I make a confession, Oh.

Speaker 2 (17:46):
My goodness, just when I thought I respected you.

Speaker 3 (17:50):
I don't know how I came into possession of it,
but I had.

Speaker 2 (17:59):
I don't even back in my day. Kids, So nine
centuries ago, in the time of Richard, you may remember
this Elizabeth with Richard the Lionheart and his brother Prince John.
This would have been huge news that Robinhood was busted.
Oh well, you know, a kitchen Robinhood. Huh. But it's
funny was it was barely any news in you know,
when some schmow and a foam suit gets caught in

(18:20):
the Arkansas woods. Anyway, story goes from last year sixty
four year old local Robert Walla, who was the one
who likes to dress up as Robin Hood and tight.
He had a bow and arrow, but not the real kind.
It was a toy bow and arrow like your five
year old nephew would play with. Yes, exactly, so there
he is with his Robinhood garb, his toy bow and arrow,
and he's spotted spray painting graffiti. Don't ask me why,

(18:41):
but he had a message he wanted to get out
to the world.

Speaker 3 (18:43):
I was so excited.

Speaker 2 (18:44):
Oh no, I don't even have the I could not
find the messages. How daring, just to drive you nuts,
That's why. So Robinhood mascot was very respectful, though, Elizabeth,
because he brought his own plywood board, fixed it to
the wall, and then painted his graffiti that I won't
tell you on the board, which feels like how you
would do graffiti. You know, cops would spend spot you
tagging a building where you've like put up the woods

(19:06):
so you're not doing any damage.

Speaker 3 (19:08):
To the build the business trouble.

Speaker 2 (19:13):
I also, can you imagine the cops and they spot
Robin Hood tagging the building, They whip around their patrol
cruisers and then go and confront him, and then he's like, oh,
I won't tell you my real name or date of birth,
and so like, what did they do?

Speaker 3 (19:24):
I have so many ideas as to what he was tagging.

Speaker 2 (19:28):
I know, I think that's more fun, it's way more so.

Speaker 3 (19:30):
I'm going to do some investigatings.

Speaker 2 (19:32):
You can find it. So they arrest Robinhood, true outlaw
that he was, you know, toy bow and arrow and all.
He gets charged with second degree criminal mischief and obstructing
governmental operations. I think the real Robinhood would have been proud. Yeah,
he also got unmasked before the community because the local
Robinhood secret identity was revealed. He wore like a little
like mask that covered his eyes. I guess it works.

(19:52):
So Tom Reline, owner and operator Sherwood Starter and alternator
said of his friend Robert Walla aka Secret Robin Hood
of Sherwood, Arkansas. Quote, I found out he was Robert Wallam.
I was surprised because Robert would do anything for you.
He's always been real nice, helped me out. Like they
find out he's all of a sudden, he's like he
must be a villain, you know, which is a bad man.

(20:13):
I once had him in my home, you know, noting around.

Speaker 3 (20:17):
It's the most horrific graffiti. We're just chuckling it up
and then it's just like killy, Yeah, something that I
can't even think or set. Oh boy, howdy, let's let
you cool your mind.

Speaker 2 (20:29):
Take a break. After the messages, I'll tell you about
the hockey mascot Gritty and how we got in trouble
for beating up a kid.

Speaker 3 (20:35):
I love.

Speaker 2 (20:57):
Elizabeth. We're back. I promise you story about your favorite
NHL mascot, Gritty. Yeah, yeah, yeah, the furry, orange haired
monster from the city of brotherly love, the living embodyment
of Philly sports fans.

Speaker 3 (21:10):
I have a T shirt with Gritty on. Yeah, I know,
I love that Four Seasons landscaping and it's Gritty on
a riding mower.

Speaker 2 (21:19):
Brilliant. You get these shirts sources so well, Gritty maybe
the mascot for the Philadelphia Flyers. He's really the mascot
for the city of Philadelphia. Yeah, particularly their sports fandom. Yeah,
you're familiar with Philly sports fans, Elizabeth and how hectic
they are.

Speaker 3 (21:34):
They're amazing.

Speaker 2 (21:34):
Yeah right, Okay, so Philly Flyers. They their website describes
Gritty in these brilliant terms. Quote. Gritty is best known
for his uniquely Philadelphian personality as well as his Flyers fandom.
His uniquely Philadelphian personality is creating. It sounds like somebody
talking about a wine. This wine. His nose is earthy

(21:55):
and grom buzz It's top note has a uniquely Philadelphian.

Speaker 3 (21:59):
Personal, Jilly from Philly, So returning.

Speaker 2 (22:01):
To the Philadelphia Flyers website, they also describe Gritty's unique
appearance as quoth, standing at seven feet tall with non
blinking googly eyes, covered head to toe in orange fur,
and an unkempt beard. Gritty's appearance is inimitable. Gritty's edgy
personality and temperamental attitude have allowed him to push the
envelope of what is possible or acceptable for a team.

Speaker 3 (22:25):
Mascot Gritty just looks unhanded, totally hospital Yes, and I
love that the best. I love it.

Speaker 2 (22:33):
So that last statement is where our story begins. One day,
Gritty decided to really test, to not just push the
envelope to shove it.

Speaker 3 (22:40):
I love that.

Speaker 2 (22:41):
So in January twenty twenty, headlines broke across the sports
world ESPN like they all shouted out Philadelphia Flyers mascot
Gritty accused of punching child.

Speaker 3 (22:50):
Well, what would the kid do?

Speaker 2 (22:52):
Yes? Right, find out? So boom, there you go, Gritty.
Let's really test this proposition. Let's find out together how
far Gritty's edgy personality and tell him out. A latitude
have allowed him to push the envelope. So the story goes,
and I quote Chris Greenwell claims the mercurial, orange haired
creature took a running start and punched my son as
hard as he could during I'll get to that in

(23:13):
a second, during a meet and greet photo shoot for
season ticket holders in November at the Wells Fargo Center.
End quote. Kid was a teenager right now, a young
teenager in my head, just closer to tween.

Speaker 3 (23:25):
Hey, but in my head it was running back and
forth between like three eight said.

Speaker 2 (23:30):
Right, I thought that was more fun to picture. You're like,
what would be the what were the acceptable age? The
point you're like, okay, across the line where Griddy can
take that kid out? So now Greedy once he attacked
the kid and the father was upset. He didn't originally
approach the Philadelphia police with a complaint. Instead, the father
took the Facebook to let the world know what the

(23:50):
furry orange menace had done to his boy and Elizabeth.
He made it seem like a serious altercation, as Daddy
Greenwell wrote on Facebook that his baby boy Brandon, went
to visit a chiropract after after Gritty gave him the
alleged beatdown, and the chiropractor diagnosed a quote contusion to
the lower thoracic spine with subluxation. Now that's a lot
of fancy jargon, which is what you have to expect

(24:12):
from a chiropractice since they're trying to justify their profession.
But anyway, what all those words really mean is that
baby boy Brandon had a bruise aka a contusion, and
a subluxation means a misaligned or dislocated joint or socket.
So the chiropractor is basically saying the boy has a
bruise on his back and his spine got knocked out
a whack.

Speaker 3 (24:29):
So did the dad just watch Gritty beat his kid
and then not do anything? Is that what we're saying?

Speaker 2 (24:35):
Pulled the boy away?

Speaker 3 (24:36):
Happened here?

Speaker 2 (24:36):
Yeah, it was a Philadelphia father. I don't really know which.

Speaker 3 (24:39):
Way of players don't make any sense.

Speaker 2 (24:40):
Washed or if he rooted them all plant. I know
he didn't throw blows at Gritty because that wasn't in
any of the.

Speaker 3 (24:46):
Descriptions, right, But that's what I'm saying, is this guy
like attacks your kid and you just go you know
what I'm going to write a facebookline group Chiropractor.

Speaker 2 (24:57):
So Daddy Greenwell he levels all his serious charges on Facebook.

Speaker 3 (25:00):
I mean, come, keep your business off of Facebook. That's
my thing.

Speaker 2 (25:03):
Good advice at all times.

Speaker 3 (25:04):
Right, just keep yourself.

Speaker 2 (25:06):
He tells the world that he'd taken his son to
an event for a season ticket holders and while they're
there at the Orange and body met a Philly fandom
went haywire attacked his boy and when he contacted the
Philadelphia Flyers organization, quote, they tried to bribe me not
to speak about it.

Speaker 3 (25:20):
They like picture didn't happen.

Speaker 2 (25:21):
So Eddie Rainwell goes and gives an interview with the
Philadelphia Inquirer in which he recounted the mascot attack against
his baby boy. He said, his son Brandon, took a
photo of Gritty. After that he patted the mascot on
the head and he walked away. But Gritty didn't let
their interaction go there. Instead, he loaded up like a
bull about to charge, and then he ran at the teenager,
smashed into his back, knocking the boy off his feet.

(25:44):
Mascot or not, that's assault, Elizabeth, that's his story.

Speaker 3 (25:48):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (25:48):
Now, of course the Philadelphia police they've got to get
involved now because this is assault. So the South Detective's
Division of the Philly p D launch an investigation of
Gritty the Gritty affair, And that's when the story changes course,
because if you're gonna come for Gritty, you best not
miss Philly, right, So the February that same year, this
is the original stories. It took place in December. He
starts talking about in January, and then by February they

(26:09):
announced the police can be in a press conference to
announce their findings from their investigation into the Gritty affair.
Quote that investigation, which has been completed, is no longer
active determine what the actions of the individual portraying the
Flyers mascot did not constitute physical assault as alleged gritty innocent. Yes,
so I'm kind of surprised they didn't name check Gritty

(26:30):
in the statement. Though. You got a chance to say
gritty innocent, and you don't take that. Come about Philly PD.

Speaker 3 (26:35):
You know that the kid didn't just pat gritty on.

Speaker 2 (26:38):
This thirteen year old boy, didn't just pat him in
and walk.

Speaker 3 (26:41):
Away violent like at Disney characters and stuff.

Speaker 2 (26:44):
Oh.

Speaker 3 (26:44):
He Sometimes it's like they're kind of deserving you mess
around and you find that this is.

Speaker 2 (26:51):
How nature teaches, is what.

Speaker 3 (26:52):
You're saying, saying touch the stuff, dude.

Speaker 2 (26:54):
Yeah, don't turn your back on the ocean. That's what
you mean. So in response, Daddy Greenwell said to the inquirer,
I respect the police's decision, but I stand by what
my son told me and what I saw, and I
just want to put this behind me. Any parent would
have done the same if they were in the same situation.
To your point, Elizabeth, done what watch a team mascot
go ham on? Your teenage son? Done what?

Speaker 3 (27:14):
And then he loaded him into the.

Speaker 2 (27:18):
The ro Maybe try to shake down an NHL team.
Any parent would do that, Buddie, I totally agree. Well
the next douve, Elizabeth, I've got a story for you
about that one time when the University of Miami mascot
Sebastian that Ibbis went toe to toe with the Tallahassee police.
Already cursed Elizabeth, Are you an sec in particular in

(27:38):
acc football? Fair?

Speaker 3 (27:39):
I have no idea what that means.

Speaker 2 (27:40):
It's college football, different dogs.

Speaker 3 (27:42):
Is it like ac DC kind of kind of like
that your.

Speaker 2 (27:45):
Voltage good Southern football? Yeah, so like Miami and.

Speaker 3 (27:48):
I didn't go to I didn't go to school in
the South.

Speaker 2 (27:51):
Yes, so you don't know.

Speaker 3 (27:51):
I don't know anything about it. I only cheer for
schools right when there.

Speaker 2 (27:56):
You go, Well, uh, Miami powerhouse football program. You may
not know that Florida State also in tallahassee another one.

Speaker 3 (28:04):
I believe you.

Speaker 2 (28:05):
So this was especially true back in nineteen eighty nine,
where our story takes place. Oh now, I'm not overselling
it to say that Florida State Miami game used to
be one of the biggest games in college football, which
I don't watch, but plenty of my friends do, so
I know that it's a big game, and I looked
it up the television ratings back then, like, well, say, well,
I don't have this a tame par with Oh not that,

(28:28):
But the two thousand and six game between Miami and
Florida State was the second most viewed college football game
regular season bowl game in the history of ESPN. They
averaged six point three million households. Right, it trailed only
the nineteen ninety four game between Miami and Florida State,
which also notched a high rating at seven point seven
on the Richter scale.

Speaker 3 (28:48):
You know, yeah, yeah, sure, I'm more of a UC
Davis versus Sacramento State rivalry.

Speaker 2 (28:55):
Go there, you go there Causeway Classic.

Speaker 3 (28:58):
Which when it airs gets you know, dozens of you hundreds.

Speaker 2 (29:01):
Sometimes the Nielsen ratings just had to get a new needle.
But it's on there.

Speaker 3 (29:07):
Hello, more sensitive.

Speaker 2 (29:08):
No, are you familiar at all? I doubt you are
with the mascots for University of Miami a k a.

Speaker 3 (29:13):
The you Sebastian.

Speaker 2 (29:15):
Yes, the Ibbys, right is a bird like cream.

Speaker 3 (29:19):
Good.

Speaker 2 (29:20):
You're smart, you know you know this now. Uh, let's
see the Ibbis. He had his name. Do you remember
that Sebastian? Okay, good, keep that in your mind.

Speaker 3 (29:28):
I just in my head you said it. I saw
Sebastian book from Schidrow.

Speaker 2 (29:31):
Perfect the great mental association on his bird legs.

Speaker 3 (29:36):
That's how this is the cartoon in.

Speaker 2 (29:38):
My very genius. So do you know the mascot for
Florida State, Jeff, No, guess though. It's a Seminole warrior
named Oolah. Okay, yeah, the Seminole Leader war Chief. And
they have him on an apple lusa horse that they
named Renegade, not.

Speaker 3 (29:54):
A weak legged bird.

Speaker 2 (29:56):
Yeah, the flour legs apple like painted horse and they
named him Renegade. Didn't that sound familiar? Renegade? Yes, that
was Barack Obama's code name for the Secret Service's right.
I looked it up and I found the Michelle Obama
also had a code name for the Secret Service. Hers
was Renaissance, which now I want to know, do Beyonce

(30:16):
know that? And that's why she gave the album is
a nod to Michelle Black Queen.

Speaker 3 (30:20):
I wonder.

Speaker 2 (30:21):
Also Malia and Sasha they were Radiance and Rosebud And
if you've seen Citizen Kane, that's kind of a weird
choice for your daughter, very strange. So anyway, back to Florida.

Speaker 3 (30:29):
I love those two crazy kids.

Speaker 2 (30:31):
Oh yeah, heck yeah, because.

Speaker 3 (30:32):
Right now they're just wild. Now they do their thing
and they're allowed to just be young women going crazy, Yeah,
totally living their lives.

Speaker 2 (30:40):
I think that after being the first daughters, like you got.

Speaker 3 (30:43):
The scrutiny and the threats.

Speaker 2 (30:44):
Totally, and also you had to hold it down as
a teen. I couldn't do that, so so awkward.

Speaker 3 (30:49):
I mean, look at poor Chelsea Clinton. Yes, totally, you
know it's it's I hate for.

Speaker 2 (30:54):
Jamy Carter, the Roosevelt, Carl Teddy's daughter.

Speaker 3 (30:58):
Yeah, exactly exactly.

Speaker 2 (31:00):
Now Oceola, the Florida State mascot and renegade, all right,
So the thing about him for each before each home game,
after the team is introduced, the mascot comes riding bareback
out hard, charging into the stadium. He carries proudly a
flaming lance or if you prefer, a burning spear, just
like the reggae band Elizabeth I was.

Speaker 3 (31:19):
Just listening to earlier.

Speaker 2 (31:20):
Today, tying it all together for you.

Speaker 3 (31:22):
It's all coming.

Speaker 2 (31:23):
So the mascot Ociola comes out riding his spirited pony
across the football field, and when he gets to the
fifty yard line, he like rears up and then he
like hurls the spirit the earth and he buries the
flaming lance, the burning spear, right in the center of
the field. It's like this consecration that blesses the game.

Speaker 3 (31:38):
Sure, and damages the field.

Speaker 2 (31:40):
Go on, not really, but if you're wondering, yes, he
is wearing face pain and moccasins and he rides the
horse bear back. So it's a very stylized image of
the native Seminole population. But they signed off on it.
The Oklahoma Seminols are not so keen on it. But
the Florida Seminoles are I think I should make that distinction.

Speaker 3 (31:55):
I'm not gonna tell people who like if they should
be outraged totally.

Speaker 2 (31:59):
Well, they have like con tracks and deals and stuff.
The profit go for it now. Before ocial that they
had problems, there was Sammy Seminole.

Speaker 3 (32:07):
Okay, that's probably a little bit.

Speaker 2 (32:09):
He was a white guy from the gymnastics team who's
painted in red facing. He did like cheerleading style tumbling
that became embarrassing back in nineteen sixty eight. Yeah, So
they replaced Sammy Seminole with Chief full the Bull who. Yeah,
he also wore a Native American costume, war red face
and did the whole Indian on the warpath thing. He
was equally embarrassing. After students protested him specifically, the university

(32:33):
was like, we hear you, we understand, we're making changes.

Speaker 3 (32:36):
Stop.

Speaker 2 (32:39):
So they changed the name to Chief Wampum stomp them.
Nothing else changed.

Speaker 3 (32:45):
The name.

Speaker 2 (32:47):
You want Chief Wampom. How are you so that wasn't
the change the students were After they kept protesting, the
university rolled out a whole new mascot named Yehola, and
he was to be the spirit chief. In the late seventies,
someone else came along, a local Tallahassee businessman. He come
up up with the whole concept for Oceola and Renegade,
which is a bit more dignified replacement. The local seminole

(33:10):
population is signed off on it. So boom. So now
you have this nineteen eighty nine Oceola is burning spear.
Come out, Miami mascot out there, as you said, thin
legged seabird. Then the team is called.

Speaker 3 (33:22):
Like how much like if you're trying to be like
intimidating and impressive, bring out ocola, don't have what is.

Speaker 2 (33:28):
It renegade Timmy? Oh you know the guy gymnast Sammy
Sammy seminole.

Speaker 3 (33:40):
Timmy towflipper. Yeah, don't let that happen.

Speaker 2 (33:43):
Well, so the Semastians is a little weak. I got
it a bird, but you just like Miami's team is
called the Miami Hurricanes, like the canes, Like they could
have a hurricane as a mascot. I don't know how
you would represent that though. That's a little bit difficult.
I guess just like swirling like costume like foam, and.

Speaker 3 (34:01):
There's a lot of costume. There's like a delicate bird.

Speaker 2 (34:05):
Yes, it's not working like Alabama though they are a
red tide. Rode would just say an algae balloom, like
a dead algae balloom. Yeah, just says a lot about
Alabama sports. Anyway, back to Florida State Miami game nineteen
eighty nine. Rather than me tell you about this, Elizabeth,
I'd like you to close your eyes, I'd like you
to picture it. It's just before game time. You're standing

(34:26):
waiting to run out onto the field because you are
the assistant to Miami Hurricanes head coach Dennis Ericson. Around
you stand a team of college stars, all waiting to
go to war with their in state rival, Florida State.
The energy is intense. Everyone is fired up. Standing next
to you is Sebastian the Ibbis, the costumed basscut dressed
as an enormous white bird. The thin legged Ibbis is

(34:47):
all hyped up too, and he's holding a fire extinguisher.
You don't need to be told why he's holding a
fire extinguisher. You know for the last two years the
Ibbis mascot is run out onto the field and pantomimed
that he would go on into the field and put
out the burning spear of but he never does. This year,
he's planning on doing the same bit, or is he.
The mascot has a devilish look in his eye, shining
out from underneath the giant bird head. Some Florida State

(35:10):
cops are standing close by. They also see the devilish
look in his eye, the same one you do, and
the fire extinguisher in his hands, the same one you see.
They start to approach, but then you hear coach Dennis
Erickson show, let's go. The team charges out onto the field.
They stampede, their cleats clatter against the cement, and then
fall quiet when they hit the grass. But you are

(35:31):
still standing there because the Florida State Cops have pushed
past you and grab Sebastian the Ibbis and won't let
him go. The cops shout at the bird mascot, give
me the extinguisher, Give it to me. The cops crowd
around the Giant bird, shoving and knocking you about up
against the wall. They wrestle over the fire extinguisher. Sebastian
the Gibbis isn't giving up without a fight, and as

(35:52):
he fights against the Florida State cops, his hands squeeze
the fire extinguisher trigger, white fire retarget phone shoots out.
It hits the cops recoil and shock. The white foam
hits you square in the face. You're pushed out of
the way by another cop as for more Florida State
cops rushed into the scene. There are now five cops
slamming the white Gibbs up against the stadium fence. You

(36:12):
white fire retarding from your eyes. It turns a little
and through your splinted keepers, you see Sebastian that ibb
is still throwing blows with the cops. He is now
has one wing lifted up while the other wing is
being forced behind his back by a burly cop. Another
cop has a firm grip on the bird's beak and
he's busy trying to yank the costume head clean off,

(36:34):
but it won't come off. You see why, because there's
a defiant chin strap holding the bird head on and
it's starting to choke the guy inside the costume. You're
worried about him, Elizabeth, you know he's a good kid.
The crowd spots the bird mascot battling against the cops
and they start to boo. Some college kids Florida College kids,
likely already drunk, start throwing cans and cups at the cops.

(36:55):
You are now ducking phone, beer cans and bottles. As
you hear the officers out at the bird telling him
his Miranda rights into his costumed head. You don't know
what to do, but then you see the Miami cheerleading
coach come run over to stop the fray. You gather
up your nerve and you tell the cops, hey, leave
the bird alone. The cops suddenly realize how silly they look,

(37:16):
five of them beating on a man in a bird
costume to stop him from pretending to put out a
symbolic fire to consecrate a football game rivalry. They yanke
Sebastian the Ibbis back up onto his feet. He thanks
you for trying to help save him, while the perky
and pissed off Miami cheerleading coach gives the cops the
what for. So there you go, Elizabeth, you did it,
You defended your bird. Way to go you now. As

(37:39):
for Sebastian the Ibbis, the fella inside, he was forced
to wait with the police until after Osiola and Renegade
perform their football ritual. Then the head cop in charge
told him if he dared to set foot on that field,
he'd beat his bird brains in and take him to
jail just for kicks.

Speaker 3 (37:54):
Wow, that's a threat.

Speaker 2 (37:55):
Yeah, The guy inside the costume said, quote, I'm not
stupid enough to actually put out the flame. I wouldn't
get out of Tallahassee if I did it. So I
didn't stop him from messing with the Florida State Cops though,
just for a little bit, just for kicks. Being the
frisky bird that I was, every time that Miami would
do something, I'd look back at the cops and wave.
I was kind of egging them on a little bit

(38:16):
tough in the end, because I know you are curious.
Cane's lost to the seminoles twenty four ten. It is
take a little break, elizab and after these messages, we
can do more mascot crimes. And I saved the best
for last. I'll give you a one word hint, Chewbacca.

Speaker 5 (38:30):
Oh yes, Elizabeth, we're back.

Speaker 2 (38:52):
This next one doesn't involve any college football or historic
mascots said. It's a battle with Batman and Superman who
team up to beat up wait for it, tourists in
Times Square. Oh no, yes, you've been to Times Square, Yes,
I have. You've seen all the mascots that work there,
hustling the tourists for photos for a donation. Yeah right,
You throw bows, can't catch sharp elbows. Now keep that

(39:14):
energy in mind as they tell you this, Elizabeth. It's
twenty fourteen. It's a Saturday night in Times Square, packed
with tourists, but especially younger ones because it's late night,
about ten o'clock. The mascots are still out entertaining the
crowds though. There's Jose Escalona Martinez, the forty one year old.
He's dressed as Batman. Then there's his mascot buddy, Abdel
el Kahazai, thirty five years old. He's dressed as Spider Man.

(39:35):
They're at forty fourth and Broadway. The crowd is lively.
The mascot's thrown down superhero stances. They're posing with tourists
for photos. Everyone's having fun. Then a couple of twenty
three year olds happened upon the scene. They start to
heckle the billionaire vigilante in his web slinging pal and
at one point one of the twenty three year olds,
the dude named Thomas Rourke, he grabs Batman from behind.

(39:58):
But that's not all, Elizabeth. He also rattles the cave
Crusader and he starts screaming, I'm gonna fuck you Batman.
I'm gonna Batman. Oh no, well, well they may only
be pretend superheroes, they still do have protective instincts when
their friend is being assaulted. So Spidey jumps in to
save Batman. Yeah, spectacular, spider Man does his spider Man thing.

(40:18):
Thomas Rourke had hands though, for the web Slinger. So
now they are going and throwing blows and but Thomas
Rourke is still in his you know, I don't know
joky mood. He grabs Spidey by his butt cheeks. Now,
there was no reports of him promising to sex up Spidey,
but that may be due to the web slingers spidy
fast reflexes in Spidey senses, because he spun around real quick,

(40:39):
and he shot webbs at the twenty three year old
right right in his face, the one who could grab
his licra clad cheeks. Yeah. No, well, since he's not
a real spider Man, Elizabeth.

Speaker 3 (40:48):
Yeah, he doesn't have webs like silly strings.

Speaker 2 (40:51):
He didn't exactly shoot webs. Yeah. No, he shot his
reasonable facts simile, which was exactly that silly string.

Speaker 3 (40:56):
You know him though, this is especially heinus I'm calling
Detective two tool.

Speaker 2 (41:04):
He would tell you silly string is the name of
a drug.

Speaker 3 (41:06):
Go oh yeah, completely.

Speaker 2 (41:07):
So Rourke got hit with the webs aka at the
silly string. He goes full Sandman and starts walloping Spider
Man with blows to his last space. In response, spider
Man throws hands back and Batman joins in. When the
cops get there, it looks like Batman and Spider Man
handling a beat down to two tourists. So now the
NYPD jumps in and they try to pull Batman and

(41:28):
Spider Man off these twenty three year olds spider Man
Dennis spider Man. So they arrest Batman and spider Man
and Batman aka Escalona Martinez and Spider Man akl el
Kahaz were charged with mystery meanor assaults. They spent the
night in Manhattan Criminal Court aka the inspiration for one
of my favorite shows ever, Night Court.

Speaker 3 (41:47):
Right.

Speaker 2 (41:48):
Yeah, so after their night in Manhattan Criminal Court, then
they got sent to lock up. Once they're locked up,
rather ironically, spider Man's able to bail himself out. Batman
doesn't have the funds to post the sub fifty bail. Yeah.
So okay, now I got one more for you. And
this is a two parter that connects to what I
just told you, so keep those names in mind. It
also features a Spider Man who throws hands. As The

(42:10):
New York Post described the scene quote, a panhandler dressed
as the iconic web Slinger repeatedly punched a cop in
the face during a violent Time Square tussle Saturday afternoon.
Police said, Now that doesn't really seem fair to Spidery,
or even an accurate summation. So the story goes Spider
Man was posing for photos with tourists in Times Square.
He was charging for the pleasure, as they do, and

(42:31):
it's it's his job, it's a fair job, whatever, So
he was asking for ten dollars for a photo. Roughly
two PM. Some cop ambles by walking the beat. He
hears Spider shaking down the tourists saying fives, tens or
twenties only pisses the cop off. You gotta stop hassling
these tourists, right. For some reason, the cop goes like
ham on him. He comes over It's like he's gonna

(42:51):
protect the tourists in Times Square, I mean, which is
what they do ever since Disney brought up the real
estate right now, he goes he's gonna be all tough
guy about it. So he confronts Spider Man. He asked
Spider Man for I D right. So Spider Man must
have been having a bad one because he told the cop, you,
this is none of your business. Oh so now the
cop makes it his business, and Spider Man whips off
his mask and he begins to insult the cop in

(43:12):
front of the kids in the family, and you know
what comes next. The cop decides he should arrest Spider
Man in front of the kids in the family, of course,
because they had all lost sight of the original intention,
which is amusing the kids in the family. So the
cop demands the lycra clad mascot submit to his will.
Spider Man's not down to do that, so they start
escalating once again. I said, this is all parents, families,

(43:35):
tourists are sitting there watching this. They also start filming
the confrontation, so there's all this footage of Spider Man
in the New York Finest throwing blows. Spider Man eventually
catches the cop with two full roundhouse punches to the
dome cap goes flying. Yeah, it's comical. At this point,
a police woman runs over and jumps into the fray.
Other mascots gather around because they're all really close right there, right,

(43:56):
And so between families you got like Mickey Mouse, Mini Mouse, Superman, Elmo,
Captain America and these shocked kids and these disappointed parents,
and then these angry cops pushing past them to go
throw blows at Spider Man. Right so, if you can
see on the video, they're shocked, like Minie Mouse holding
her hands up to her enormous mascot head, like what
is going on now? Is more cops rush into the scene.

(44:19):
They're finally able to subdue the web Slinger, but he
won't go quietly. Right, So, now Spider Man is on
the ground resisting arrest, and one of New York's finest
shouts at Spidey stop resisting. O, my god, the kids
so horrible. Had they finally handcuffed Spider Man and take
him into custody. One of the beat cops stries to
calm the crying children and the shocked families by telling
them the real Spider Man would have never done something

(44:42):
like this. Look that's gonna go far for a five
year old, right, So fake Spider Man, his name is
Junior Bishop, and according to the other superhero mascots, the
NYPD had been hassling him for weeks. Right, they got
all this pressure to like regulate Times Square because apparently
people were complaining. Some of the mascots have been fighting.
So missus spider plan is, let's hassle them until they act, right.
So in our previous Time Square Batman Josehes Colona Martinez.

(45:04):
He also commented on this story, and he told The
New York Post that the beat cop quote has been
harassing Spider Man and everybody. He tells people you don't
have to tip, so he's like, OUI, they're trying to
bust up their jobs. Yeah, And so he also corrected
the record that Spider Man aka Junior Bishop had asked
the cops to stop harassing the superheroes, and when he
was confronted and asked for id, Spider Man did nothing wrong.

(45:25):
In fact, he said his idea was in his card,
he would go get it. But then the cops stayed
after him, and that's why he told him like it
started cussing, so as Batman aka jose Aesclona Martinez, but
said the policeman grabbed him by the neck. He was
trying to choke him, and Spidey resisted. So Mickey Mouse
also defended Spider Man, saying how the friendly neighborhood webslinger
was wrongfully choked out by the NYPD. So and Mickey

(45:48):
Mouse added that quote, he.

Speaker 3 (45:50):
Had to defend himself after that and hit back.

Speaker 2 (45:52):
So now Mickey Mouse, welcome to the resistance. Meanwhile, the
NYPD also decided to bust Captain America in front of
the tourist kids. The man inside the Captain America costume,
Luis Sealinas, twenty years old, was arrested and released the
next day. But Captain America told the Post and I quote,
I didn't do anything. I was standing by Spider Man
who punched a cop, and then four cops came over
and arrested me. I didn't struggle. I'm twenty. I let

(46:15):
them arrest me, so just for kicks. The cops also
arrested Jesse, the cowgirl from the Toy Story franchise, Yeah,
because apparently she was getting lads arrest Now, I promised
that this was a two parter, right, technically a three
part because we already had our previous two, But this
one stays with these same people. After the Spider Man
beat down in front of the kids, the NYPD side,
it was time to add pressure to the situation. So
they're staying on everybody. So one cop went so far

(46:37):
as to describe the Lycraclads superhero and his mascots as
being on the level of Osama bin Laden. Wait, yeah,
the cop told The New York Post, they're like little
terrorists preying on all the tourists. It's his metaphor, not mine, right,
I'm like, it's not the best metaphor to use it
where terrorists took down the Twin Towers, But hey, NYPD,
do you language right just reaching for the strong this

(47:00):
metaphor you can. So the two parter involves the same characters,
but we also let a comic book have to introduce
a new character for our latest installment, The Naked Black Cowboy.

Speaker 3 (47:10):
The Naked he's not a comic book.

Speaker 2 (47:15):
I know you're not down with the Marvel universe, but
he's not a character.

Speaker 3 (47:20):
That's my favorite.

Speaker 2 (47:21):
That's his street name. The Naked Black cowboy. His government
name is Titus Gandy. The naked black cowboys friends with
Spider Man, and so after his web slinging buddy got busted,
the naked black cowboy went down to Midtown South Precinct
to check on him. Now, if I should tell you
that the naked black cowboy looks like so you can
better picture this as you might well imagine. He doesn't

(47:41):
wear clothes. Well, he does wear a giant cowboy hat
and he wears cowboy boots because otherwise he just be
the naked black man and the touristy give him tips.
So the naked black cowboys kind of falls advertising because
he also wears underwear. So he walks around naked playing
a guitar, and so he does have some clothing, but
other than that solid bear skin. This is of what
he looks like.

Speaker 3 (48:01):
Wasn't there a white guy who did this too?

Speaker 2 (48:03):
Yeah, it's a common look. Just wear underwearing a cowboy.

Speaker 3 (48:06):
Guitar, and you're just apparently now defined by skin tone.

Speaker 2 (48:09):
Matthew McConaughey calls it a weekend. That's true, just like
weekend kids. So now that you have that mental image,
the naked black cowboy walking into Midtown South.

Speaker 3 (48:17):
Precincts, oddly wholesome and happy smiles.

Speaker 2 (48:23):
Naked is not intimidating, like creepy or pervy.

Speaker 3 (48:27):
They're just like those are those are full coverage briefs.

Speaker 2 (48:30):
If you say so, let me see they're tidy whit.
It looks like Grandpa's underwear.

Speaker 3 (48:36):
But so I'm saying, it's like they're not high legged
and cheek hanging out in banana.

Speaker 2 (48:40):
Hen they're not.

Speaker 3 (48:42):
International mail cattle.

Speaker 2 (48:43):
No, not come from. So once a naked black cowboy
walks into the cop shop, all right, they uh, he's
demanding justice. The n white p'd take one look at
the naked black cowboy. They're like, there's got to be
something wrong here. I'm betting there's a crime. Soa hey,
what's your name? Man? You look him up in the computer.
Real quick. Turns out, unfortunately they weren't far off. Naked

(49:06):
black cowboy had open warrants. They popped him for cocaine possession. Wait,
he'd been stopped previously for a stopping frisk and the
cops found coca in his wallet. He still had an
outstanding warrant for that, So then they busted the naked
and black cowboy, and they said, hey, you can go
sit in the cooler richer.

Speaker 3 (49:23):
By the warrants, and he walked into a police seat.

Speaker 2 (49:25):
I don't think he remembered that. I'm just wondering where
he kept his wallet on him and they had costume.
Good call, look at you before. I got one fight
in the bore. One final mascot in Melee. They have
your favorite for last, Elizabeth. I got two words for you.
Chewbacca arrested. That's a terrible one. Can you do Chewbacca?

Speaker 3 (49:48):
I can't be You know who can do Chewbacca? My nephew.

Speaker 2 (49:52):
Oh yeah, that's right.

Speaker 3 (49:53):
Great. He's been able to do it since he was
like three.

Speaker 2 (49:56):
Kids are natural his NBC News reported back in two
thousand and s and takes place across the country. This
story and the other major spot you'd find costumed heroes.
That's right, Hollywood Boulevard. Oh boy, A Chewbacca was working
the crowd of happy faced tourists out there to have
fun in the tourist trap. Apparently, some tour guy got
lippy with the Wookie. He accused the Star Wars hero

(50:18):
of harassing two Japanese tourists that he was leading around
with a big sign. When the tour guide got in
Chewbacca's face, Chewbacca growled back, Nobody tells the Wookie what
to do, and then he headbutted the tour guide. The
tour guide recalled later how you could see in his
eyes he was exploding beneath the mask. He yelled at me,

(50:38):
nobody tells this Wookie what to do, because.

Speaker 3 (50:41):
It's hot and it stinks on your feet.

Speaker 2 (50:44):
And a forty four year old man who's six foot
five wearing a costume, walking up and down on the sidewalk,
talking to tourists, running post for photos, but children were
kicking them.

Speaker 3 (50:53):
In the shins. Things you do for a dollar.

Speaker 2 (50:55):
Oh yeah, So Frederick Evan Young, the forty four year
old man inside the Chewbacca costume, I liked at the press.
Gavas his full name, like first, middle, and last. He
killed Kennedy. But this dude, fred Young.

Speaker 3 (51:06):
He may have some cereals on news.

Speaker 2 (51:09):
He's appropriately size, I said, six foot five, So he's
looming over this tour guide. And then that's right from
we brought the hammer down and he hit the tour
guid pretty much splayed him out. Yeah, standing there watching
all this with Superman. He watched Hwbacca knocked the tour
guy down and he did nothing. Just Superman, come on.

Speaker 3 (51:26):
You come on, and caper.

Speaker 2 (51:28):
Tour guide was splayed out in the bea cups super Batman.
Oh well you got to steel Superman's man.

Speaker 3 (51:34):
He's got a cape on and you're a steel Man.

Speaker 2 (51:38):
Use that steel Man. I should have been there, Joseph
Stall and steel Man. You go over there, captain. So
the tour guide, as I said, splayed out be cops
who were walking around because it's a tourist trap, they
jump into the action. They bust you, Bacca, and they
charged him with misdemeanor battery and they held him on
a twenty grand bail. La County. Don't play. Just like

(51:59):
in Times the tourist, the costume characters had been like
they've been a problem. So they were like. In two
thousand and five, mister Incredible got busted. Yep, that's the
Muppet Elmo he got busted. That same year and Freddy
Krueger from Nightmare on Elm Street was arrested near Graumit's
Chinese Theater on Hollywood Boulevard after Freddy allegedly attempted to
stab a guy wait, he's he's like a method costume actor, right, Hey,

(52:23):
it's full in. Yeah, it dusn't hoffins Like he's one
of the best actors I know working on Hollywood Boulevard.
So apparently he crosses the line. And there you go.
Did you have fun? Elizabeth costume?

Speaker 3 (52:34):
Incredible time? Those are so good?

Speaker 2 (52:35):
What's a ridiculous takeaway here? You know?

Speaker 3 (52:37):
I think that if I'm a New York City cop
and I have to patrol Times Square, which like, God bless,
I'm so glad I don't have to do that, but
I watch enough Law and Order and other cop procedurals,
wouldn't you want to like buddy up to them, That's
what you would think, and like like, hey, cut him
some slack.

Speaker 2 (52:57):
You talked to him real quickly.

Speaker 3 (52:58):
Yeah, and like let them know that you're keeping an
eye on them, that no one's going to do anything
to them. But then if you know, if a purp
comes through and you can identify them, you can say,
have you seen this guy? You hold it in the yes, he.

Speaker 2 (53:11):
Went that away always fresh out.

Speaker 3 (53:12):
Yeah, Or if they see you chasing a suspect, they'll
put their foot out and trip suspect.

Speaker 2 (53:18):
Good call.

Speaker 3 (53:19):
Not you.

Speaker 2 (53:19):
You're much better NYPD.

Speaker 3 (53:21):
I am such a good fake NYPD.

Speaker 2 (53:23):
Yeah. I think watching all that law and Order is
really paying off.

Speaker 3 (53:26):
I put the hours and what does Malcolm Gladwell talk about?
Ten thousand hours and you're expert a quadruple.

Speaker 2 (53:36):
Well, am I ridiculous takeaway? Thank you for asking. You
just quoted Malcolm Gladwell.

Speaker 3 (53:40):
But god, I'm.

Speaker 2 (53:43):
Not going to mess with you too hard about that.
But you know, for a talkback we can wash all
this away.

Speaker 3 (53:47):
Hey, you don't have your takeaway is just me quoting Gladwell.

Speaker 2 (53:52):
Yeah, I'm on that one, all right. My too ridiculous takeaway?
Thank you for asking, Elizabeth? Is that one. I've got
to do a mascot costume that I can rotate in
with the priest costume flights like, imagine trying to board
a flight dress as Pikachu. Would they let you on?
I gotta see? Of course?

Speaker 3 (54:13):
Why? Of course why.

Speaker 2 (54:14):
Would they not? You got a ticket he's got.

Speaker 3 (54:18):
They can kick you off if you're wearing like.

Speaker 2 (54:20):
Too little clothing, But about too much clothing, there's no
rule too much in one. That's the question.

Speaker 3 (54:29):
Now is okay? You know what? Give me a talk back?

Speaker 2 (54:38):
Oh, my god, did you that a cat? It's a
purring cat.

Speaker 4 (55:01):
Hey, Elizabeth and Zarin, this is Stephanie aka Grubberport on
the various platforms yours. You know, it's ridiculous cats and
they're purring. So I'm going to send you two voice
memos because they're purring. Is known to calm your heartbeat,
lower blood pressure, and stress, and apparently at times it

(55:23):
supposedly can heal bones because of their frequency. Anyway, that's
what's ridiculous. This is from a family who loves you,
guys so much that whenever we tell our kids that
close their eyes and imagine things, whether it's bedtime or
the math or dead is teaching them, they always say,
what do they say, Arthur, my eyes closed? Thank you

(55:45):
so much for what you do.

Speaker 5 (55:47):
I love it.

Speaker 3 (55:47):
We got everybody quoting Drew close your eyes as close that. Yeah,
cat man, the cat purr is very comfort. You can
also imagine and make biscuits on you.

Speaker 2 (56:01):
Totally. I had no idea what was at first though,
I was guessing so many things.

Speaker 3 (56:04):
Motorcycle, that's what I thought.

Speaker 2 (56:05):
Actually, my first thought was I'm like, okay, what here's this.

Speaker 3 (56:08):
Some some like on a motorcycles. No, instead we get
this amazing thank you and uh hey to the fam
close your ass.

Speaker 2 (56:19):
Oh as always, folks, you can fight us online a
Ridiculous Crime on the social media this the Blue Sky
and Instagram yet and also we have a website, Ridiculous
Crime dot com and we love your talkbacks obviously, so
go to the website. iHeart has and they download the
app and then you can record a talkback and maybe
you can hear your voice here. We'd love to hear it. Also,
now you can fight us on YouTube at Ridiculous Crime Podcast,

(56:41):
so go look that up. And of course you can.

Speaker 3 (56:44):
Always email us cool animation totally.

Speaker 2 (56:46):
Yeah, it's fun. I'm digging it if you would like. Also,
you can email us at Ridiculous Crime at gmail dot
com because we'd love to hear from you. But please,
if you write, start to email dear producer d thanks
for listening and we will catch you next crime. Ridiculous
Crime is hosted by Elizabeth Dutton and Zaron Burnett's produced

(57:07):
and edited by the Spectacular spider Man sparring partner Dave
Kustin and starring Anili's Rucker as Judith. Research is by
chewbaccas Capawera teacher Marissa Brown. Our theme song is by
Thomas the Naked White Cattleman Lee and Travis free Jewey Duttony.
The host wardrobe provided by Botany five hundred guest Tarra,

(57:28):
makeup by Sparkle Shot and Mister Dre. Executive produces are
Ben how come There's never a Wolverine in Times Square?
Bowlin and Noel, spider Man and Superman are both journalists.
Of course, cops hate them Brown.

Speaker 3 (57:48):
Reds.

Speaker 2 (57:50):
Why say it one more times?

Speaker 1 (57:53):
Crme Ridiculous Crime is a production of iHeartRadio four more podcasts.
My heart Radio visit the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you listen to your favorite shows,