July 7, 2022 • 50 mins
Aspiring artist Arno Funke, aka Dagobert, just wanted to make a living doing what he loved. And he did, for a time, because in addition to art he loved bombs and extortion plots, and weird contraptions. His antics captivated a nation and made for great headlines, but those kind of capers just can't last. Luckily, the artist in him prevailed and he was able to delight and captivate the public in a legal way after all.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Ridiculous Crime is a production of I Heart Radio. Zarin Burnett.
We meet again. Oh what's up, Elizabeth Dunton? What are
you doing here? I wanted to talk to you today
about something ridiculous. You know it's ridiculous, Oh, sister do
I okay? There was this UK man named Tony Finn
of Sheffield, England, right and this cat he won a
(00:22):
like a judgment in a work lawsuit essentially it's England.
I don't know if it was actually a lawsuit, but
a judgment he won from a deciding panel. And this
judgment was about sexual harassment. He claimed that his boss
was harassing him because he kept calling him bald. Now,
the deciding panel were three men, they were all bald.
They decided with my man, Tony Finn. But that's not
(00:44):
the ridiculous part. It's ridiculous, don't get me wrong. But
the ridiculous part is Finn was fired from the British
Bung Company of West Yorkshire, the British Bung company like
bu n G British BU. Now I didn't know what
a Bung was offhand. I had an idea. I was like,
I think I know, because there's a thing called a
bung hole. But I think I know what a bung is, right,
(01:05):
So I looked it up, and a bung is a
stopper for sealing a hole opening in a container. It's
the pair to the bung hole that I did know about, right. So,
like a cork and a cap, that's a bung topper
in a liquor bottle, like in a bar that's also
a bull. Those are all bungs. Right. So now let's
just say you take a bong and you're smoking pot,
and you put your face on the bunghole of the bomb.
(01:27):
You would be a human bung sealing a ball. And
if you're bald, you'd be a bald bull. Wow. Yeah, readiculous.
You know what else it is ridiculous, debt, extortion, homemade bombs,
(01:48):
Scrooge McDuck altogether. Yeah, this is not just like in
comparison now, it's a whole melange ridiculousness. I'm Elizabeth Dutton
(02:18):
and joining me is none other than Zarin Burnett. You
can't prove that I know. And this is ridiculous crime
a podcast. That's what we're doing about absurd and outrageous capers,
heists and cons It is always murder free and one ridiculous.
That's right. That was we did a good job on that, Zaren.
(02:44):
When you were a kid, what did you want to
be when you grew up an adult? That was a
good call, Like a progression I could see happening. I
was like, I don't. I don't get to be a merman.
I got to be an adult, all right, to go up?
Um okay? Like early on, I like just and it
sounds ridiculous now even looking back, but like when I
(03:06):
was not like, you know, past the point if I
want to be an astronaut, I want to be a
football player. When I actually was looking at careers, stockbroker
was the first thing because I was like, this system
is so jangking and corrupt. That's the way to just
make money and get free of all of this. I
was like the thirteen, I had it all figured out.
I was like, stockbroker, screw everybody, make my money cut. Early, really,
(03:27):
I was ahead of the curve because that's become the culture.
So this was not the culture when I was thirteen,
But now everybody's doing this. Do you ever think you'll
go back to that? No? I developed morality. So when
I was little, people would ask me what I wanted
to do when I grew up, and I always said
I wanted to have a dog farm. Not know, my
plan was to have you know that dogs don't come
(03:49):
from seed, right, what I'm just saying. I wanted to
have like a whole bunch of land and then just
go to the pound and clean them out every day
and then just have a ragtag a bunch of dogs
show but like a big truck and it's open in
the back. Load them up whatever you got. People are like,
I want to be a senator, I want to be
a scientist. I'm like, I want a lot of dogs
(04:12):
with like a day old bagel policy. How you're getting
them that I'm just going through. I'm like, who hasn't
been picked up? All right? Hopping up in the car.
I'll take all your spare dogs, hop in the sedan
that's just gonna be full of dogs. Drive him out there,
and then I just imagine, what the way of your dream?
What do you mean the way of the dream? In
the dream? Baby? No? I used to imagine that, like
(04:34):
I'd be out in the field, like throwing the ball
or just that we'd I would run and they'd all
run next to me was kind of how in my
little brain do you know ast week? My friend Jay
grew up in Benetia, California, which is like it was
the original capital of the state, but it's a little
town that nobody usually knows. And his friends when he
was growing up were a pack of wild dogs. That's
(04:56):
why Jay is so cool. Yeah, I know, you love him.
The guy would run around with the pack of do
that's like a six year old. He did this for
like two years. Everyone in the town knew him as
a kid who ran with a pack of dogs. He
didn't have any other friends. I did have a big
piece of property and I had four dogs, And when
I wanted him to get in the car, I'd say,
(05:17):
dog farm, dog farm, what you're gonna do? He started
walking from room to room. They'd follow me and I'd say,
I'm having a dog parade. And then that's why I
have no friends. And now my brother, when you'd ask
him what he wanted to be when he grew out,
what he would say. For a while he was saying
(05:40):
he wanted to be in green peace, and people would
be like, that's so sweet, this little boy loves the environment.
Until you'd say why do you want to be in
green peace? And he said because I wanted to drive
the boat that rams the other boats, like he wanted
to ram the whaling vessels. And then when everyone told
him like that's not cool, dude, and he's like, all right,
I want to be the guy the side of the
(06:00):
road who has the garbage bags and they pick up
the garbage because the garbage bags are orange and they
look cool. And I was like, well, do some time
to get when do you want? You'll be right out there.
So um, A lot of times people are able to
do what they dreamt of doing as a kid. Travis,
(06:22):
my brother, you know, there's still time. It's an attainable dream,
it is, um. And sometimes you get there just a
little bit differently like me with when I had the
four dogs, you know. Or you give it up like me,
or you give it up like you because you grow
a sense of morality. Um. I want to tell you
the story of a little boy in nineteen sixties West
Berlin who wanted to be a cartoonist when he grew up.
(06:45):
George Schultz. Yes, no, no way, I got the name right,
Charles Schultz. Schultz, That little boy grew up Page to
Charles Schultz. No, that's not him. Um, but you know,
his life like us, his life goes in a different direction,
(07:08):
but he's able to kind of right the ship on that. Anyway,
story I'm going to tell you today also comes to
us from a listener. Was a listener suggestion. This one
comes from Judith Krauss, and she reached out to us
on Instagram all the way from Germany. Yeah. She's fantastic,
by the way, and she clued us in on this
(07:29):
totally bonkers dude, um, and it feels like this was
custom made for us doctor Judith Right, Yeah, Judith is
the best. I mean, how are you? In case people
are wondering, it's become a very international fellow. That was
so cosmopolitan. Uh, let me tell you about a man
named Arnold funken Chicken f u n k E funke Um.
(07:57):
Like I said, he wanted to be a cartoonist when
grew up, and so much so that like turns fifteen,
leaves school to go and become an apprentice signmaker. Okay,
I campaigned, Yeah cool, that's a good gig. I used
to as a house payer. Knew some sign painters. Fun job.
It's amazing. I kind of have to want to be
by yourself. Though I'm enjoying the sort of resurgence of
(08:19):
hand paid and signs lately that there's one shop here
in Oakland. You always want a memory sign company. Anyway,
it's an art, it's and it's really precise, and so
I think that would be a good primer for if
you wanted to then be a cartoonist, to have that online.
He didn't get to live that dream. Another dream dash,
you know, the dream deferred are No. He's thirty eight,
(08:44):
struggling artist. He's working at a gas station. He's divorced,
and he's flat broke. Tough place to be. Yeah, he
wants to focus on his art, but you need money
to do that. You always do, always the story, unless
you have like just a guitar, just a guitar in
a dream. So he did what humans have been doing
since we first started strutting around on two feet. He
(09:08):
figured stealing was the answer. Oh okay, okay, that's not
what I thought. Okay, it was not the oldest professional
he said he was going to turn to the first job. No,
he he decided that this is this is criming. He
decided that crime was the fastest, most direct way to
get money in his pocket. I thought the same thing
(09:29):
when I was Yeah, well yeah, and that's why you
wanted to be a stuck. He's a gentle soul, though,
so he didn't want to hurt anyone physically, I mean
like emotionally, psychologically apparent really apparently we're on the table.
But he didn't want to hurt him physically. So he
decides that extortion that's the way to go to hurt you. Yeah,
and what he paid me to stop me from being
(09:51):
my bad self? Well, what's extortion without a pipe bomb? Wow? Pipe? Yeah?
He teaches himself how to make pipe bombs in his kitchen.
Nice and then even though he's broke, he runts a
little workshop down the road from his house bomb making.
That's where he starts making bombs. I hope that was
a detached building an amateur maker. So his first target
(10:16):
is a luxury department store called craft House Dave Weston's
the Western craft House, and so, and I just want
to put out a disclaimer that I know I've said
it before that I am pretty much incapable of correctly
pronouncing anything in German. And I apologize hosts there you
(10:37):
go perfect. So he leaves the bomb there and then
he sends this ransom note for five hundred thousand Deutsche marks.
Very nice, by the way, deutsch mark, thank you, And
that's around six thousand dollars today. So that went about
as well as his artist's career did. Because the bomb
(10:57):
was a dud. The police couldn't find his directions for
delivering the ransom money. So it's just forgot something. It's
like they're like three steps that I was just so
wrapped up in. This doesn't matter. He tries again. This
guy Arnold makes another bomb. If at first you don't succeed,
(11:18):
bomb bomb again. Yes, he puts this one in a
briefcase with a fake bottom, and that one worked and
it caused hundreds of thousands of dollars of damage to
the store. Yeah, so he blows it up at the
department store. But he said it to go off at
night so that no one would be hurt, not even
janitorial staff. Nice. He waited, He waited until everyone was
(11:38):
clear no one should get hurt. No, of course, not
picture this. It's June Arnold Funca sits at his kitchen
table enjoying some on kin fruit fru yogurt fru fu.
(11:58):
It's a yogurt that has like a disk in the
middle where they kept a toy. What. I don't know
if he's really eating this, but I found out it's
like a kinder egg, but yogurt. But is it like
in a jelly like the toys, and get a little
plastic container at half they put the disc in. They
fill it up to the top and then you enjoy
your yogurt. So I like to imagine that he was
(12:20):
eating the fruit fu yogurt. And you know why it's
it's f r u f o o because the center
is ufo and it looks like a little ufo in
the middle of the yogurt. Oh my goodness. It's not
an invented detail. It is an unnecessary detail. But my
life is full of those. So he's eating he's eating
(12:40):
this yogurt. Let's pretend, But in real life, he's penning
another letter to the department store, and again he asks
for five thousand marks. Right out there, he's also included
directions for how he wants to receive the money. Yeah,
He's like, okay, now I need to be really precise
with the directions. I can't assume they know what I mean.
(13:01):
He wants them to throw the money out of a
train window at exactly the moment he tells them to
do it. Wait, what this so like I'm imagining there
aren't like regular cell phones. So how is he going
to tell me? With this letter? He includes a radio
where he's going to give him the signal ahead. Yeah,
so the New Yorker has this story about him, and
(13:23):
they said wote On June second, Funka hid beside the
train tracks near the car repair shop where he worked.
He had drunk most of a bottle of vodka by
the time the train rumbled past. This is the blackmailer speaking,
He slurred into his radio. Throw the money out now.
(13:43):
A package crashed onto the tracks and funk staggered after it.
He scrambled back to the garages. Police helicopter circle circled
overhead and opened the package to find the money inside. Oh,
they actually included real money, like exactly, so it's like
get throwing back to celebrate. He took vacations to the Mediterranean,
(14:04):
to South Korea and the Philippines. When he totally got
helicopter helicopters trunks dumbling around with the money. Nice to
train tracks. It's three sheets to the wind, staggering around
with a bag of five hundred thousand marks. Yeah, So
he goes on these vacations. When he's in the Philippines,
(14:26):
he picks up a wife. Does you're traveling, fall in love?
Keep this going? It's anything can happen on vacations. So
then he gets away with it right comes around and
most of the money's gone. Yeah, he'd remarried. As I said,
he has a young son at this point and he
needs money. So what does he do? I'm thinking extortion? Yeah,
(14:49):
it works so well. So there's this really nice department
store in Hamburg called cars Thought the Car State. Yeah,
we've all been there. Uh. In June of ninety two,
he planted a bomb in the porcelain section of the
store and um, it wasn't a dud alert. Yeah, it
(15:10):
destroyed a bunch of delicate merchandise. So with that out
of the way, he's done that. Then he sends a
letter to the store demanding one million marks going up
and if they didn't pay, another bomb, this time in
the glass section. As he writes the letter, he's like,
looks over and he sees his bag in his house
(15:31):
and there was a picture on the bag, and it
wasn't anything that he cared about or thought had meaning,
but it's stuck with him, just in that moment he
looks over. So in the letter he tells the store
that in addition to okay, you got a fork over
a million marks, they have to run a message in
the Hamburg newspaper that says, quote, Uncle dagger Bert greets
(15:52):
his nephews. Okay, no German culture that I don't understand.
Daggo Bert is the Dagobert is the German name for
Scrooge McDuck, duck tails McDuck. It's the German name from
and it was a picture of Scrooge McDuck on the
(16:13):
bag in his house, and that's how he gets his
criminal nickname, Dagobert. His criminal nickname is a German Scrooge McDuck. Yes,
basically Scrooge McDuck. I love that. So let's take an
ad break, and when we return, I'm going to tell
you about the further adventures of Dagobert. When we left off,
(16:51):
zaren are no funk, he'd gone back into his extortion game.
This time he's targeting an upscale department store and how
Berg Germany. If you're good at the game, make him
pay you know what exactly. And this time he added
in a little nugget for the cops. He gave himself
a nickname cops do love a nickname for criminals. Wanted
to be called dagger Bert. This is dug Bert speaking.
(17:16):
Does Scrooge McDuck have a Scottish German accent in the
German cartoon? Does he have like a German accented Scottish?
It's like he has like a Duck accent? Right, where's all?
What's accent? Where it's all? I can't do it where
it's all? Yeah, there you go, Donald Duck thought it so,
(17:44):
I don't remember in the Scottish accent the bro he
speaks to, I can't do it, very good, bro you
can do it much better Broke than I do. Yeahast
see you know that's Scottish. You know that's him, Okay,
like groundskeeper Willie. Sure, Yeah, that's from also Broke. So yeah,
dagger Bird, I don't know. I don't know what it
sounds like in Germany like German. I don't expect you
(18:08):
to know. It's just curious. Yeah. Well, he writes a
letter again um threatening the other bomb. He asks that
in that letter where he says, you know, tell him
uncle Daggabert sent you or whatever, was like Uncle dagger
Bert greets his nephews. He also he asks that the
police put the money in a bag that has the
(18:28):
duck tails logo on it. He's working picture of Scrooge
McDuck on it. And then he wants he wants them
to attach this bag Miss Scrooge McDuck commemorative bag. Attached
it to a train using electro magnets, and the cops
were like, if you say so, they go ahead and
(18:51):
do it. They go ahead and do it, so don't
forget last time. He's like, throw mama from the train,
throw the bag. So now he's all to use electron magnets.
I'm glad they're German cops. American cops. Be like, I
don't even know a man. Okay, let's go to home depot.
Maybe like you know those Durst cell where you pick
(19:12):
your finger on either and it tells you how much juice.
That's that's electro magnetism right there. That's what I would
be like, I don't know what you would get ratchets
and I would totally get ratchets for it. Um, so
he the cops do that, right. Funky tries to get
the bag off the train by deactivating the magnets, and
the bag wouldn't budge because the cops tied it to
(19:34):
the train as well. Okay, so he leaves the scene
empty handed. He's drafts and he goes scurrying away. So
I was assuming he didn't have a way to cut
the power, but okay, no, he had. He had all
this ready to go. He's just like a gadget master
and cartoon gadget master. He's amazing. Um. He tries again
same scheme two months later, and this time he's able
(19:57):
to liberate the bag. He's able to get it off
the train, but the cops had also put a bunch
of paint in the bag and it splashed all over
him when he caught it, um, just like they wanted.
And they tried to arrest him, but he had stashed
a mountain bike nearby and was able to run with
the bag and jump on the bike and escape. The
(20:19):
cops are chasing a man covered in paint, got a
bag of money with a Scrooge McDuck logo. This one
and then he gets to a bike he's imagining stashed
in bushes and then he bikes away cartoon. He gets
like a safe distance away and he opens the bag
and it only has four thousand marks in it and
the rest was Mickey Mouse money. It was like Disney
(20:43):
on Disney Crime at this point. So it's all covered
in paint. Hey take so Funk. Undeterred, he continued with
his extortion plots. Was pretty successful, like he did a
bunch of them. One time, when he went to retrieve
the money that was left for him, the police jumped
(21:05):
out at him on like a grassy hill in Berlin,
grassy knoll and Um, one of the cops in pursuit
tried to grab him, but he slipped and fell Um
and dagger Bart made his escape once again on a bike.
But the guy who slipped do you know why he
slipped and fell Um? He was covered in bacon grease.
(21:26):
He stepped in dog CoA. Oh, that's a reason slip
and fall into the He slipped onto the dog and
then like skidded on the lawn. Then he fell and
it was like well, so then the press finds out
about him falling in the dog poop and then just
goes nuts and they're all these headlines about it. Yeah,
that's just like they're loving this part of the story.
(21:48):
Mrs Criminal catches bad one exactly, So like at every turn,
the events surrounding in his crimes, they're just getting like
more and more cartoonish, super ridiculous. And because of this,
he becomes a folk hero to the German people. Yes,
even the Germans have sense of human people are rooting
for him. There were pop songs written about him, there
(22:10):
were shirts that said I am Dagobert this eighties late eighties,
So it's gonna be like Falco doing the songs about him.
Rock me kind of think of German pop stars early
nineties at this point. So yeah, the Craftwork did a
song about him. That's what I was like in my
(22:32):
in the rolodex of my mind. That was like looking
under g for Germans. So that I am Dagger BT shirts.
People are wearing them all over the place. It feels
very Casa de Papelle Money Heist on Netflix Spanish show. Yeah, totally,
but with like a Scorpion soundtrack Scorpion Scorpions soundtrack change,
(22:57):
and but instead of the guy Fox mask or whatever
it was, and that one to it or Dolly mask. Oh,
that's right, the V for venda. Yeah, so the yeah,
the Dolly mask. Now it's Scrooge McDuck. Um. There was
a pole that a radio station conducted and they said
(23:18):
that two thirds of the listeners sided more with Dagobert
than the police. Of course. Yeah, so he's gaining popularity.
Berlin's Tadjas Spiegel, Tadgers Spiegel, newspaper Spiegel no Ta speak
on the story of the day. Okay, sure, Um a
(23:40):
newspaper in Berlin, Germans Um they named Dagobert the Gangster
of the years, Yeah, competition that year gangster have a
cartoon bank robber. They said that he had raised the
cops and robber game, to quote, an intellectual level never
(24:01):
before seen in German police history. He changed the game.
So this is like straight up Dagobert fever sweeping through Germany.
At this point, I mean, people like brand Merchant stuff
said they have I Am Dagobert, they have like hats,
but are they basically taking Disney merchant reappropriating it like
(24:26):
Scrooge McDuck. That's like the hot property at that point,
and then people are developing these theories, right. So um,
they had the idea that Funk was drawing inspiration for
these exploits from plots of Scrooge McDuck comics. So um,
the cops spread more than six thousand pages of Scrooge
(24:48):
McDuck comments comics, trying to anticipate the structure of his
next game. They're like, okay, well, in issue four he
involves a parachute o that it's got a giant magnifying glass.
He's spending from a helicopter. Well, they're also imagining him,
I'm sure like diving into the swimming the best thing ever.
(25:10):
There's a group in Germany called Donald Donald Donald. Their
name is the German acronym for the organization of non
commercial Supporters of Donald is um. What pray tell is
Donald is um. I'm guessing it's about Donald Duck, like
a religion dedicated to their spiritual sam Donald Duck. It's
(25:31):
a bunch of frustrating Germans. They're like, that's not a guy,
have no idea, but it's non commercial supporters of Donald
is um. I'm about people believe whatever they want to believe,
So Donaldism to the truth. So they like they're asked
about this in news stories. And that's why I'm assuming
it has something to do Donald next perfect sense. Um,
(25:52):
I would be a supporter of goofyism personally, I'm just
about it. I live that life. Um. One member of
the group, Hans House, he commented to the press at
this time and he said, quote, people are fascinated. There
is always this kind of effect when there's a clever
guy who's always outwitting the police. So they're like, here's
(26:13):
the situation. Let's go to a representative of Donald for comment,
and they find this cat. I don't know, it's weird.
He's out there like nas I root for the villain.
So people there's they're speculating about how this who who's
Dagobert right? Is he a computer expert? Is he a
railroad engineer? He seems to be into the trains electrical engineer? Yeah?
(26:37):
Is he a train spotter? Is he a cop? Is
he one of those dudes who retired just sits outside
of construction sites and goes nice job guys. People thought
he might be a former Easter German Stazi officers. Okay,
is he a surgeon? I don't know why they wanted?
Is he a board pensioner. I guess because of like
the precision of people they were with a metaphor. They're like,
(26:59):
this would at the metaphor, that's just a weird one.
So they'd have to catch them to figure this out.
Got to catch them all. On April, the police put
two bags in what's called a grit bin in a
neighborhood of Berlin. But what it in Berlin. It's a
(27:22):
whole lot of butter. Grit bin is a large metal
or plastic box. I guess that's used to store salt
and grit that you put out on the roads when
it's oh anti snow and ice stuff. Yeah, okay, yeah
with you you lived in the South and in California
Valley from the Bay Area, we don't. We don't have
to worry about a thing that's in movies. Yeah, and
(27:43):
I'll just confess I'm a terrible driver in the snow.
Stay out of it. There. They're experts here, Yeah, there
are experts out there. I'm not one to close your
eyes and pray. So Dagger Bart asks that these bags
be feel with cash and put into a grit bin
(28:04):
that's he's going to identify for them, and so they
fill him with cash but not cash paper, so fake
cash and thank you for that cash to him. Uh,
and a motion detector. They're like, oh, I see your
gadget game and I raise you. Guess what, punk, here's
a detector. And then they hid nearby and they were
(28:28):
going to jump out in surprise him when he came
to pick it up in the cops that I know.
And they had surprise parties for each other, you know,
like if they're big on surprise parties. But then they
get off and they just start firing dangerous um. So
they waited. The cops are waiting. They have a giant
net like a butterfly head and they're waiting. They're waiting.
(28:52):
They wait like an hour, nothing and then the motion
detector goes off. Yeah, but no one's been anywhere near
the grip box. Yeah, So cops go over and they
check it. They look in the in the grit bin,
they look down into it and they see a deep
hole in the and they say, I picked this one
(29:14):
for a reason for the whole leads down to the
sewer and come to find out dagger Bert built that
particular grip bin himself, so it was not a municipal one.
He built a dummy one and placed it over a
man hole so the cops make the drop. Dagger Bart
(29:35):
opens up the manhole cover from below, reaches up, grabs
the bag, and then closes the cover behind him. Um.
He looked in the bag. He saw there wasn't any
money in there. There's just paper and emotion detector sewer
and Angry ditches the bag and then escapes into the
sewer system. Yeah. Um. So by the end he had
(29:57):
tried this scheme in various rations about twenty times. It's
a lot, that is, and it's working like two thirds
of the time, I guess. Sound more importantly, though, he
has spent a ton of money on all his gadgets
and a couchrement. Now it's a job paying for itself.
He's deeper in debt than he actually yeah, because and
(30:17):
he's on welfare at this point, like legit. So um,
now we're into nineteen ninety four. I know you like
to start things off with the date. So in January
of dagger Art sent a letter to the cops. He
wants one point four million marks now, dear guys, do
(30:38):
you miss me? He also has very specific instructions about
how they're supposed to deliver this money in a paper
airplane the size of seven. It's closed. So first he
builds a miniature train. Kidding a man, I was like,
all right, first things first, I build a miniature train.
(30:59):
That's step one. Then he puts the train on some
abandoned railroad tracks. How big is this miniature I think
it's not that it's like the gauge of it. It's
like it fits big boy train tracks. But it's like
a little shorty on there, like it's like, I don't know,
maybe it's maybe he repurposed the grit box. So um,
(31:21):
he cleans and preps the tracks because they're abandoned, he
can serve any weeds. They sneaks away. Now the police
follow the instructions to the letter. They put one point
four million marks onto the train. They went through with
the actual cash this time. Wow, I know. And then
the letter instructed the police to push a big red
(31:42):
button on a device nearby, and they did it. They
pushed the big red button. I mean, I know he's
into the cartoonist, but he's more widely coyote. So they
hit the button and pow. The train zooms away at
the two. So, of course, the police chase it, They're like,
(32:05):
you're back here. But Dagabert had a plan for that.
So he had set up firecrackers along the track that
would go off when the police tripped sensors for the
to tell him like as their what their progress was like.
So the police chased the train, the firecrackers start going off.
This is like some serious home alone stuff. And the
(32:29):
firecrackers are going off and Daggabart knows like how fast
they're going where they are. But now, remember I told
you he like smoothed out prep the tracks. Apparently not
well enough. After half a mile when he they was
the train was just thirty yards away from him, Um,
it derailed and the money spilled all over the No, No,
(32:51):
dagg a Beart escaped, right, he's so close to one
point four million marks. But he had a plan to
escape them because he to get it's only thirty yards away.
He was able to get at least like some handfuls
and be able to like you know, put into the
investment of his next scheme. No, because it was like
this like tension of all the fires him before he
can get back. He doesn't have enough time to run
(33:13):
out to it and then get back because there window
he had operating. Um, so yeah, he has nothing to
show for it. Um, when we come back, I'm going
to tell you about how the cops eventually caught up
to old Arnold funk. I'm loving this dude, alright. So
(33:48):
at this point in our story today, dagger Bart is
costing the government a lot of money. I love how
they actually put the one point four million Deutsche parks
in the train and to send it and they're like,
he may do something we need to Like, well, they
knew we're going to catch him, so they I mean, okay,
so they're kind of playing a long thinking we have
to create the crime to bust him. So, like just
(34:11):
chasing him is costing millions and millions of it is
the cops had like three thousand leads. Yeah, everyone's calling
into fake so totally, and they had questioned more than
a hundred suspects. Um, they used dogs, helicopters, psychics, astrologers,
(34:33):
like they pulled out all the stops. There was a
reward for information about his identity. Of course. Um, well,
they set up a telephone line that you could call
and listen to a recording of his voice because you know,
he's always calling up like, hey, guys, new plan Daggerbard again. Okay, guys,
do you think about electromagnetism? Raise your hand if you
(34:55):
like trains. I'm raising my hand right now. Um, so
I'm a big How are you holding the phone? Don't
ask questions? So um they said, you can call in
and listen to his voice and then if you recognize it,
tell us. So people were constantly calling in trying to
rap him out, but no one, no one had a
good lead. Um. A psychologist who worked with the police
(35:18):
finally convinced them to take this new tactic. They said that,
you know, the psychologist was like, he is someone who
has failed. He's a failure professionally and socially, Like no
one who has it together is doing this kind of stuff,
and he's trying to prove himself. So they said, if
you treat him with more respect, you may be able
(35:38):
to kind of lure him out, soften him up. Oh interesting.
I thought they were going to go like, we should
use one of the episodes of the Scrooge McDuck comics
that we've been reading, use one of those things to
catch him. We have all these research exactly well so,
but The thing is is that he really didn't care
one way or another about Scrooge McDuck. So it wasn't
like he was familiar. But I love that they went
(35:59):
down that rab hole. He just with an off handed
Oh I saw a picture of it. I'm like, yeah,
call me Scrooge with duck. Um. So she encourages this,
this psychologist encourages them to like build a rapport when
he calls, and they's also thinking, like they're thinking, if
we can get the phone called the last long enough,
we can trace the call, which that didn't occur to them.
(36:19):
He's calling them all the time. Maybe he just always
did short phone calls I guess. Apparently when he would
like ask for a drop and they would show up
but he wouldn't be there, he would write notes to
apologize later, really polite notes like I'm so sorry we
coordinated that and I flaked on you. I was under
the weather. I just didn't have it to come out.
(36:40):
So um, they're waiting for his calls. A the police
traced his call to a specific phone booth, so we're
getting there. But when they get there, no phone came. However,
nothing but vibes. Two witnesses were able to describe him
to a sketch artist. So that's a good one. Um.
(37:01):
And the police put the sketch on TV, so now
people like, oh, more information on Dagobert. This is the
guy I gotta hide held out. According to Funking, his
wife saw the sketch and didn't recognize him, for she's like,
that's banks. The thing is, the sketch really looked a
(37:22):
lot like ri Tile. I don't know how to say. Uh,
he was the officer in charge of the whole case.
That's amazing. Yeah, the sketch looks just like him, and
they're yeah, so um. When they went there to look
(37:44):
at the at the phone booth, um, they noticed that
near the phone booth was this car with a mountain
bike on a rack, and they're like, you know, that
looks a lot like the escape bike is definitely on
two ways. Like, I think we're on the right track here.
So April dagger Bart calls the police to arrange the
next money drop. Now the officers, including the one who
(38:07):
slipped in dog poop hold officer cocas Um, they surrounded
the phone booth and arrested him. Oh right there, so
full circle. I didn't see that coming. The cops had
tried to catch him thirty times, and now they finally
do it, and they failed times. So who's the failure now,
Officer psychologist, officer poop shoes Um. When he's arrested, Funky says, quote, today,
(38:34):
you'll definitely pop the corks. Unfortunately, I won't be able
to celebrate with you, but you can at least toast
to me. Okay, He's like, look, you did it. So
they pop corks, they pop bottles. The Berlin cops were
like chugging wine and dancing around their patrol cars in
the street. Oh yeah. And then the police in Hamburg
they had special bottles of beer made in anticipation of
(38:57):
this day. They had Scrooge McDuck labels on them, and
so they're like, break out the Scrooge beers, let's hit it, fellas,
and they're just check lada um. So once he's identified,
then of course more information comes out about him. Do
you think they had like a launch pad mcquack light
beer for some of the officers who didn't want the
full flavored logger I can't have all the calories. They
(39:20):
had a non alcoholic version for those who wanted to partake,
but the hue and doing louis special, Yes for the
children's Uh, this is ginger ginger. So his neighbors. Arnauld's
neighbors were pretty shocked. But you know what was shocking
to them, It's because he had out in front of
his house was parked this old Mercedes and had been
(39:41):
there for ages, and he was always going out and
trying to get it running. Couldn't get it running, couldn't
get it running. And they're like, how is he building
all these gadgets and he can't fix the blasting car
in front of his house. So that's sort of like,
I don't think it's him. This guy can't. He can't
fix anything. Look at this change the rate eight. You
can do electromagnetic trains. So they're like, if you can
(40:03):
fix that, you can create all these weird gadgets and
do all the stuff you can't fix an old Benzo
No does not compute. What if that's his cover? Though
he's good with some things. Out the end, he had
he has an i Q of not bad, which I
suppose is good. Um, and he's a total auto did act,
so I mean, don't forget. Yeah, he dropped out of
(40:25):
school at fifteen, he read like tons of mechanical magazines
and then figured out how to craft his little wacky
bombs and extortion machines. This a little wacky, his wacky
bombs that has like confetti and stuff on him springs.
(40:47):
His defense team, though, pushed the idea that Arnold was sick,
like he had the flu for a few years. They
said that the fumes from his painting work gave him
really bad headaches and that he was always forgetting stuff.
There is a expression in German about turpentine makes the
painters strange. I can't My friends mother's German, and she
used to see me in my all whites and she
would say that, and I was like turpentine mocking. I
(41:10):
can't remember it. Isn't that the turpentine to the paint dinner?
You had like the gold huff? Right, had the paper
bag in my hand. You want to huff? Well? Like
the thing is like he that accidental huffer theory fell apart.
It's because he was super sharp at the trial. He
was like cutting up with one liners and stuff. I'm
(41:35):
not so sure. Uh. In the end he pleads guilty
and is fine five million marks, And that's like to
pay back the department store. Particularly, his wife sold her
story and the rights to publish family photos to a
magazine for around sixty marks. You got to hold out
for more. You got millions to now people were still
(41:58):
wearing their dagg abart gear. Oh merched, it's still gonna
be tough. And then in response to his imprisonment, they
start wearing hats that said free dagg a Bear. I
want to get one of the let be great. Um
we can find one, yeah, totally in two that or
just make them with a marker, some puffy paints. Going
(42:19):
to get a baseball cap and use puffy paints and
put free dagger Bart on it. And then it's just
going to add to my weird lady walking your dog
look that I've got going on in the neighborhood. How
your neighbors liking it these days? All right? Uh So
in two thousand he served six years of his sentence
and then he was released. Okay, he gets a job
(42:41):
as a cartoonist at the satirical magazine Ulan Spiegel something
else Stories another Spiegel. So um he becomes this cartoonist.
He's still I think he still works there today, which
speelss story I've been lying to you all. Sorry. Spiegel,
remember Spielberg means like storytown. He's gonna take you downtown
(43:05):
start tontown. But anyway back to Arnold ar know the Spiegel?
Uh foon ca. I don't know what Spiegel means. Am
I saying something terrible? No? No, no, no, I don't
believe it can't be. It's like I'm probably we're probably
probably used paper and we're like the baby means like news.
(43:25):
Hold on a second, hey, producer, save me. Let's see here.
Vo is the Spiegel mirror? Mirror? Spiel mirror? Sure? Um,
(43:47):
so okay, so yeah, the Spiegel another kind of mirror.
He works at that satirical magazine. Um, he's a really
well known and regarded cartoonist. And like he did like
these posters making fun of like Rolling Stones tours where
they're all geriatric bones. It's like I'll posted on Instagram.
(44:10):
They're pretty funny. Um. Here's an interesting note though about this.
In December of two thousand four, Channel four in the
UK aired a three part TV show called The Heistuno. Yeah,
I have been trying desperately to get, you know, a
a way to see all three of these episodes. They're
not easy to find over State side um this show.
(44:34):
It was written, created, directed by David Glover and Rudolph
Hertzog Son of vernerker Um. So. In the show, this
group of five former criminal masterminds were put together to
accomplish preassigned heist. Yes, stuff like stealing a specific painting
(44:58):
at this exhibit or like a profile car and to
the cameras are on it and we have to watch
them do it. Yeah, they have to come up with
it and then execute this heist. And the people who
owned whichever it was, like, let's say with the painting
in the gallery, they know that there that something was
going to happen, and they're not allowed to change their
security protocols leading up to this and they don't know
(45:20):
what's Yeah, some of them were like, no way, I'm
not doing that. Others were like, no, this is a
great way to prove that we have amazing security. Right. So,
the thieves on the show included gangster Joey Pyle, good
Name Burglar Peter Scott, Armed Robert Terry Smith, cyber expert
Matthew Bevan, and none other than extortionists are no Funke
(45:44):
master class. He gets up with these dudes. We're going
to probably do an episode about the show itself at
some point, Like I'm still gathering information on that, because
the whole setup is just way too ridiculous entertainment. And
like some of these fellow thieves I think are going
to need their own special episodes as well, because like
some of these dudes are, I want to know about
(46:05):
Joey Pyle, here you go. Um, Matthew Bevan is interesting,
the cyber dude. So either way, Um, what you can
see from all of this is that the thrill of
notoriety is just as much a draw for these guys
as the money they stole. So this is going to
be phenomenal. Um. And that's so that's you know, we
got our No, he's got this notoriety. He was loving it,
(46:28):
he's milking it. Yeah, And so I love that he
gets out of jail and now he's like reformed, he's
got this good gig. What he really wanted to do
when he was a little boy. He followed the best
professional advice there is. But just don't try to find
a job, make a job for yourself exactly, do what
you love. You'll never work a day in your life
and so yeah, then he winds up. Also like on
(46:48):
the TV, what's your ridiculous takeaway? Dude? Donald is um
flat out one word Donald? Why would you go with
Donald is M when goofy ism is right there? Do
the duck sound again? That's just an angry Donald duck?
(47:10):
Does that should be your ring tone? Do people still
do ring tones? Everyone I know keeps their phone on
vibrate all the time. Yeah. Always. But like I used
to like having ringtones for all the different people, like
out of individual ones, and then I'd have like, you know,
the Rockford Files theme song for everyone who wasn't somebody
who had to think a song so Rockford Files. I mean,
I would get to listen to becuse I wouldn't answer,
(47:31):
So I got to listen to that song all the
way through it. The best I had Hornpiper's Lament, that
like Popeye song on the MIDI version of it, and
I used to put it at full volume because there's
nothing funnier than like you're walking around and that comes
out of your person. You're like, what, I don't know
what that is? Um, my ridiculous takeaway? I keep thinking
(47:54):
of the quote from Hans Aust the Donald representative. Yes,
the guy from Donald is that Donald does him? Dude? Um,
he had this other quote quote I wish somehow that
he had just gotten away with the money and vanished.
Now it turns out he's just an ordinary human being
who makes mistakes like everyone else. The legend is gone. Wow,
(48:14):
that's cold blooded. He's like I thought he was something special,
but I thought he was a mart man. Then he
will bleed. He's a terrible disappointment. Yeahs since just an
ordinary human being who makes mistakes like everyone else, which
is like kind of everybody were talking about. That's the
(48:36):
whole bag. The legends gone like, yeah, Hans Aust what
have you done in your life that this is this
entertaining Donald? How many infallible people do you you really
want to hang out with or know about? I mean zero,
gotta love the flaws. Um, that's it. That's enough. I'm
done and exhausted. That's us for us to day. Yeah.
(49:02):
You can find us online at Ridiculous Crime on both
Twitter and Instagram. Hey, hey pal, you've got a tip
for us about a ridiculous crime that you want to
hear about. You want to confessed wood ridiculous Crime? Email
us at Ridiculous Crime at gmail dot com. Other than that,
just tune in next time. Ridiculous Crime is hosted by
(49:28):
Elizabeth Dutton and Zarin Burnett, produced and edited by Mayor
of funka Town, Dave Couston. Research is by German folk
hero Morrissy Brown. The theme song is by Thomas put
the Cash on the Tiny Tin Lee and Travis Blame
the Fuse. Dutton executive producers are Missing McDuck cousins Ben
Boland and Noel Brown. Ridiculous Crime is a production of
(49:53):
iHeart Radio. For more podcasts to my heart Radio, visit
the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen
to your favorite show us
Ridiculous Crime is a production of I Heart Radio. Zarin Burnett.
We meet again. Oh what's up, Elizabeth Dunton? What are
you doing here? I wanted to talk to you today
about something ridiculous. You know it's ridiculous, Oh, sister do
I okay? There was this UK man named Tony Finn
of Sheffield, England, right and this cat he won a
(00:22):
like a judgment in a work lawsuit essentially it's England.
I don't know if it was actually a lawsuit, but
a judgment he won from a deciding panel. And this
judgment was about sexual harassment. He claimed that his boss
was harassing him because he kept calling him bald. Now,
the deciding panel were three men, they were all bald.
They decided with my man, Tony Finn. But that's not
(00:44):
the ridiculous part. It's ridiculous, don't get me wrong. But
the ridiculous part is Finn was fired from the British
Bung Company of West Yorkshire, the British Bung company like
bu n G British BU. Now I didn't know what
a Bung was offhand. I had an idea. I was like,
I think I know, because there's a thing called a
bung hole. But I think I know what a bung is, right,
(01:05):
So I looked it up, and a bung is a
stopper for sealing a hole opening in a container. It's
the pair to the bung hole that I did know about, right. So,
like a cork and a cap, that's a bung topper
in a liquor bottle, like in a bar that's also
a bull. Those are all bungs. Right. So now let's
just say you take a bong and you're smoking pot,
and you put your face on the bunghole of the bomb.
(01:27):
You would be a human bung sealing a ball. And
if you're bald, you'd be a bald bull. Wow. Yeah, readiculous.
You know what else it is ridiculous, debt, extortion, homemade bombs,
(01:48):
Scrooge McDuck altogether. Yeah, this is not just like in
comparison now, it's a whole melange ridiculousness. I'm Elizabeth Dutton
(02:18):
and joining me is none other than Zarin Burnett. You
can't prove that I know. And this is ridiculous crime
a podcast. That's what we're doing about absurd and outrageous capers,
heists and cons It is always murder free and one ridiculous.
That's right. That was we did a good job on that, Zaren.
(02:44):
When you were a kid, what did you want to
be when you grew up an adult? That was a
good call, Like a progression I could see happening. I
was like, I don't. I don't get to be a merman.
I got to be an adult, all right, to go up?
Um okay? Like early on, I like just and it
sounds ridiculous now even looking back, but like when I
(03:06):
was not like, you know, past the point if I
want to be an astronaut, I want to be a
football player. When I actually was looking at careers, stockbroker
was the first thing because I was like, this system
is so jangking and corrupt. That's the way to just
make money and get free of all of this. I
was like the thirteen, I had it all figured out.
I was like, stockbroker, screw everybody, make my money cut. Early, really,
(03:27):
I was ahead of the curve because that's become the culture.
So this was not the culture when I was thirteen,
But now everybody's doing this. Do you ever think you'll
go back to that? No? I developed morality. So when
I was little, people would ask me what I wanted
to do when I grew up, and I always said
I wanted to have a dog farm. Not know, my
plan was to have you know that dogs don't come
(03:49):
from seed, right, what I'm just saying. I wanted to
have like a whole bunch of land and then just
go to the pound and clean them out every day
and then just have a ragtag a bunch of dogs
show but like a big truck and it's open in
the back. Load them up whatever you got. People are like,
I want to be a senator, I want to be
a scientist. I'm like, I want a lot of dogs
(04:12):
with like a day old bagel policy. How you're getting
them that I'm just going through. I'm like, who hasn't
been picked up? All right? Hopping up in the car.
I'll take all your spare dogs, hop in the sedan
that's just gonna be full of dogs. Drive him out there,
and then I just imagine, what the way of your dream?
What do you mean the way of the dream? In
the dream? Baby? No? I used to imagine that, like
(04:34):
I'd be out in the field, like throwing the ball
or just that we'd I would run and they'd all
run next to me was kind of how in my
little brain do you know ast week? My friend Jay
grew up in Benetia, California, which is like it was
the original capital of the state, but it's a little
town that nobody usually knows. And his friends when he
was growing up were a pack of wild dogs. That's
(04:56):
why Jay is so cool. Yeah, I know, you love him.
The guy would run around with the pack of do
that's like a six year old. He did this for
like two years. Everyone in the town knew him as
a kid who ran with a pack of dogs. He
didn't have any other friends. I did have a big
piece of property and I had four dogs, And when
I wanted him to get in the car, I'd say,
(05:17):
dog farm, dog farm, what you're gonna do? He started
walking from room to room. They'd follow me and I'd say,
I'm having a dog parade. And then that's why I
have no friends. And now my brother, when you'd ask
him what he wanted to be when he grew out,
what he would say. For a while he was saying
(05:40):
he wanted to be in green peace, and people would
be like, that's so sweet, this little boy loves the environment.
Until you'd say why do you want to be in
green peace? And he said because I wanted to drive
the boat that rams the other boats, like he wanted
to ram the whaling vessels. And then when everyone told
him like that's not cool, dude, and he's like, all right,
I want to be the guy the side of the
(06:00):
road who has the garbage bags and they pick up
the garbage because the garbage bags are orange and they
look cool. And I was like, well, do some time
to get when do you want? You'll be right out there.
So um, A lot of times people are able to
do what they dreamt of doing as a kid. Travis,
(06:22):
my brother, you know, there's still time. It's an attainable dream,
it is, um. And sometimes you get there just a
little bit differently like me with when I had the
four dogs, you know. Or you give it up like me,
or you give it up like you because you grow
a sense of morality. Um. I want to tell you
the story of a little boy in nineteen sixties West
Berlin who wanted to be a cartoonist when he grew up.
(06:45):
George Schultz. Yes, no, no way, I got the name right,
Charles Schultz. Schultz, That little boy grew up Page to
Charles Schultz. No, that's not him. Um, but you know,
his life like us, his life goes in a different direction,
(07:08):
but he's able to kind of right the ship on that. Anyway,
story I'm going to tell you today also comes to
us from a listener. Was a listener suggestion. This one
comes from Judith Krauss, and she reached out to us
on Instagram all the way from Germany. Yeah. She's fantastic,
by the way, and she clued us in on this
(07:29):
totally bonkers dude, um, and it feels like this was
custom made for us doctor Judith Right, Yeah, Judith is
the best. I mean, how are you? In case people
are wondering, it's become a very international fellow. That was
so cosmopolitan. Uh, let me tell you about a man
named Arnold funken Chicken f u n k E funke Um.
(07:57):
Like I said, he wanted to be a cartoonist when
grew up, and so much so that like turns fifteen,
leaves school to go and become an apprentice signmaker. Okay,
I campaigned, Yeah cool, that's a good gig. I used
to as a house payer. Knew some sign painters. Fun job.
It's amazing. I kind of have to want to be
by yourself. Though I'm enjoying the sort of resurgence of
(08:19):
hand paid and signs lately that there's one shop here
in Oakland. You always want a memory sign company. Anyway,
it's an art, it's and it's really precise, and so
I think that would be a good primer for if
you wanted to then be a cartoonist, to have that online.
He didn't get to live that dream. Another dream dash,
you know, the dream deferred are No. He's thirty eight,
(08:44):
struggling artist. He's working at a gas station. He's divorced,
and he's flat broke. Tough place to be. Yeah, he
wants to focus on his art, but you need money
to do that. You always do, always the story, unless
you have like just a guitar, just a guitar in
a dream. So he did what humans have been doing
since we first started strutting around on two feet. He
(09:08):
figured stealing was the answer. Oh okay, okay, that's not
what I thought. Okay, it was not the oldest professional
he said he was going to turn to the first job. No,
he he decided that this is this is criming. He
decided that crime was the fastest, most direct way to
get money in his pocket. I thought the same thing
(09:29):
when I was Yeah, well yeah, and that's why you
wanted to be a stuck. He's a gentle soul, though,
so he didn't want to hurt anyone physically, I mean
like emotionally, psychologically apparent really apparently we're on the table.
But he didn't want to hurt him physically. So he
decides that extortion that's the way to go to hurt you. Yeah,
and what he paid me to stop me from being
(09:51):
my bad self? Well, what's extortion without a pipe bomb? Wow? Pipe? Yeah?
He teaches himself how to make pipe bombs in his kitchen.
Nice and then even though he's broke, he runts a
little workshop down the road from his house bomb making.
That's where he starts making bombs. I hope that was
a detached building an amateur maker. So his first target
(10:16):
is a luxury department store called craft House Dave Weston's
the Western craft House, and so, and I just want
to put out a disclaimer that I know I've said
it before that I am pretty much incapable of correctly
pronouncing anything in German. And I apologize hosts there you
(10:37):
go perfect. So he leaves the bomb there and then
he sends this ransom note for five hundred thousand Deutsche marks.
Very nice, by the way, deutsch mark, thank you, And
that's around six thousand dollars today. So that went about
as well as his artist's career did. Because the bomb
(10:57):
was a dud. The police couldn't find his directions for
delivering the ransom money. So it's just forgot something. It's
like they're like three steps that I was just so
wrapped up in. This doesn't matter. He tries again. This
guy Arnold makes another bomb. If at first you don't succeed,
(11:18):
bomb bomb again. Yes, he puts this one in a
briefcase with a fake bottom, and that one worked and
it caused hundreds of thousands of dollars of damage to
the store. Yeah, so he blows it up at the
department store. But he said it to go off at
night so that no one would be hurt, not even
janitorial staff. Nice. He waited, He waited until everyone was
(11:38):
clear no one should get hurt. No, of course, not
picture this. It's June Arnold Funca sits at his kitchen
table enjoying some on kin fruit fru yogurt fru fu.
(11:58):
It's a yogurt that has like a disk in the
middle where they kept a toy. What. I don't know
if he's really eating this, but I found out it's
like a kinder egg, but yogurt. But is it like
in a jelly like the toys, and get a little
plastic container at half they put the disc in. They
fill it up to the top and then you enjoy
your yogurt. So I like to imagine that he was
(12:20):
eating the fruit fu yogurt. And you know why it's
it's f r u f o o because the center
is ufo and it looks like a little ufo in
the middle of the yogurt. Oh my goodness. It's not
an invented detail. It is an unnecessary detail. But my
life is full of those. So he's eating he's eating
(12:40):
this yogurt. Let's pretend, But in real life, he's penning
another letter to the department store, and again he asks
for five thousand marks. Right out there, he's also included
directions for how he wants to receive the money. Yeah,
He's like, okay, now I need to be really precise
with the directions. I can't assume they know what I mean.
(13:01):
He wants them to throw the money out of a
train window at exactly the moment he tells them to
do it. Wait, what this so like I'm imagining there
aren't like regular cell phones. So how is he going
to tell me? With this letter? He includes a radio
where he's going to give him the signal ahead. Yeah,
so the New Yorker has this story about him, and
(13:23):
they said wote On June second, Funka hid beside the
train tracks near the car repair shop where he worked.
He had drunk most of a bottle of vodka by
the time the train rumbled past. This is the blackmailer speaking,
He slurred into his radio. Throw the money out now.
(13:43):
A package crashed onto the tracks and funk staggered after it.
He scrambled back to the garages. Police helicopter circle circled
overhead and opened the package to find the money inside. Oh,
they actually included real money, like exactly, so it's like
get throwing back to celebrate. He took vacations to the Mediterranean,
(14:04):
to South Korea and the Philippines. When he totally got
helicopter helicopters trunks dumbling around with the money. Nice to
train tracks. It's three sheets to the wind, staggering around
with a bag of five hundred thousand marks. Yeah, So
he goes on these vacations. When he's in the Philippines,
(14:26):
he picks up a wife. Does you're traveling, fall in love?
Keep this going? It's anything can happen on vacations. So
then he gets away with it right comes around and
most of the money's gone. Yeah, he'd remarried. As I said,
he has a young son at this point and he
needs money. So what does he do? I'm thinking extortion? Yeah,
(14:49):
it works so well. So there's this really nice department
store in Hamburg called cars Thought the Car State. Yeah,
we've all been there. Uh. In June of ninety two,
he planted a bomb in the porcelain section of the
store and um, it wasn't a dud alert. Yeah, it
(15:10):
destroyed a bunch of delicate merchandise. So with that out
of the way, he's done that. Then he sends a
letter to the store demanding one million marks going up
and if they didn't pay, another bomb, this time in
the glass section. As he writes the letter, he's like,
looks over and he sees his bag in his house
(15:31):
and there was a picture on the bag, and it
wasn't anything that he cared about or thought had meaning,
but it's stuck with him, just in that moment he
looks over. So in the letter he tells the store
that in addition to okay, you got a fork over
a million marks, they have to run a message in
the Hamburg newspaper that says, quote, Uncle dagger Bert greets
(15:52):
his nephews. Okay, no German culture that I don't understand.
Daggo Bert is the Dagobert is the German name for
Scrooge McDuck, duck tails McDuck. It's the German name from
and it was a picture of Scrooge McDuck on the
(16:13):
bag in his house, and that's how he gets his
criminal nickname, Dagobert. His criminal nickname is a German Scrooge McDuck. Yes,
basically Scrooge McDuck. I love that. So let's take an
ad break, and when we return, I'm going to tell
you about the further adventures of Dagobert. When we left off,
(16:51):
zaren are no funk, he'd gone back into his extortion game.
This time he's targeting an upscale department store and how
Berg Germany. If you're good at the game, make him
pay you know what exactly. And this time he added
in a little nugget for the cops. He gave himself
a nickname cops do love a nickname for criminals. Wanted
to be called dagger Bert. This is dug Bert speaking.
(17:16):
Does Scrooge McDuck have a Scottish German accent in the
German cartoon? Does he have like a German accented Scottish?
It's like he has like a Duck accent? Right, where's all?
What's accent? Where it's all? I can't do it where
it's all? Yeah, there you go, Donald Duck thought it so,
(17:44):
I don't remember in the Scottish accent the bro he
speaks to, I can't do it, very good, bro you
can do it much better Broke than I do. Yeahast
see you know that's Scottish. You know that's him, Okay,
like groundskeeper Willie. Sure, Yeah, that's from also Broke. So yeah,
dagger Bird, I don't know. I don't know what it
sounds like in Germany like German. I don't expect you
(18:08):
to know. It's just curious. Yeah. Well, he writes a
letter again um threatening the other bomb. He asks that
in that letter where he says, you know, tell him
uncle Daggabert sent you or whatever, was like Uncle dagger
Bert greets his nephews. He also he asks that the
police put the money in a bag that has the
(18:28):
duck tails logo on it. He's working picture of Scrooge
McDuck on it. And then he wants he wants them
to attach this bag Miss Scrooge McDuck commemorative bag. Attached
it to a train using electro magnets, and the cops
were like, if you say so, they go ahead and
(18:51):
do it. They go ahead and do it, so don't
forget last time. He's like, throw mama from the train,
throw the bag. So now he's all to use electron magnets.
I'm glad they're German cops. American cops. Be like, I
don't even know a man. Okay, let's go to home depot.
Maybe like you know those Durst cell where you pick
(19:12):
your finger on either and it tells you how much juice.
That's that's electro magnetism right there. That's what I would
be like, I don't know what you would get ratchets
and I would totally get ratchets for it. Um, so
he the cops do that, right. Funky tries to get
the bag off the train by deactivating the magnets, and
the bag wouldn't budge because the cops tied it to
(19:34):
the train as well. Okay, so he leaves the scene
empty handed. He's drafts and he goes scurrying away. So
I was assuming he didn't have a way to cut
the power, but okay, no, he had. He had all
this ready to go. He's just like a gadget master
and cartoon gadget master. He's amazing. Um. He tries again
same scheme two months later, and this time he's able
(19:57):
to liberate the bag. He's able to get it off
the train, but the cops had also put a bunch
of paint in the bag and it splashed all over
him when he caught it, um, just like they wanted.
And they tried to arrest him, but he had stashed
a mountain bike nearby and was able to run with
the bag and jump on the bike and escape. The
(20:19):
cops are chasing a man covered in paint, got a
bag of money with a Scrooge McDuck logo. This one
and then he gets to a bike he's imagining stashed
in bushes and then he bikes away cartoon. He gets
like a safe distance away and he opens the bag
and it only has four thousand marks in it and
the rest was Mickey Mouse money. It was like Disney
(20:43):
on Disney Crime at this point. So it's all covered
in paint. Hey take so Funk. Undeterred, he continued with
his extortion plots. Was pretty successful, like he did a
bunch of them. One time, when he went to retrieve
the money that was left for him, the police jumped
(21:05):
out at him on like a grassy hill in Berlin,
grassy knoll and Um, one of the cops in pursuit
tried to grab him, but he slipped and fell Um
and dagger Bart made his escape once again on a bike.
But the guy who slipped do you know why he
slipped and fell Um? He was covered in bacon grease.
(21:26):
He stepped in dog CoA. Oh, that's a reason slip
and fall into the He slipped onto the dog and
then like skidded on the lawn. Then he fell and
it was like well, so then the press finds out
about him falling in the dog poop and then just
goes nuts and they're all these headlines about it. Yeah,
that's just like they're loving this part of the story.
(21:48):
Mrs Criminal catches bad one exactly, So like at every turn,
the events surrounding in his crimes, they're just getting like
more and more cartoonish, super ridiculous. And because of this,
he becomes a folk hero to the German people. Yes,
even the Germans have sense of human people are rooting
for him. There were pop songs written about him, there
(22:10):
were shirts that said I am Dagobert this eighties late eighties,
So it's gonna be like Falco doing the songs about him.
Rock me kind of think of German pop stars early
nineties at this point. So yeah, the Craftwork did a
song about him. That's what I was like in my
(22:32):
in the rolodex of my mind. That was like looking
under g for Germans. So that I am Dagger BT shirts.
People are wearing them all over the place. It feels
very Casa de Papelle Money Heist on Netflix Spanish show. Yeah, totally,
but with like a Scorpion soundtrack Scorpion Scorpions soundtrack change,
(22:57):
and but instead of the guy Fox mask or whatever
it was, and that one to it or Dolly mask. Oh,
that's right, the V for venda. Yeah, so the yeah,
the Dolly mask. Now it's Scrooge McDuck. Um. There was
a pole that a radio station conducted and they said
(23:18):
that two thirds of the listeners sided more with Dagobert
than the police. Of course. Yeah, so he's gaining popularity.
Berlin's Tadjas Spiegel, Tadgers Spiegel, newspaper Spiegel no Ta speak
on the story of the day. Okay, sure, Um a
(23:40):
newspaper in Berlin, Germans Um they named Dagobert the Gangster
of the years, Yeah, competition that year gangster have a
cartoon bank robber. They said that he had raised the
cops and robber game, to quote, an intellectual level never
(24:01):
before seen in German police history. He changed the game.
So this is like straight up Dagobert fever sweeping through Germany.
At this point, I mean, people like brand Merchant stuff
said they have I Am Dagobert, they have like hats,
but are they basically taking Disney merchant reappropriating it like
(24:26):
Scrooge McDuck. That's like the hot property at that point,
and then people are developing these theories, right. So um,
they had the idea that Funk was drawing inspiration for
these exploits from plots of Scrooge McDuck comics. So um,
the cops spread more than six thousand pages of Scrooge
(24:48):
McDuck comments comics, trying to anticipate the structure of his
next game. They're like, okay, well, in issue four he
involves a parachute o that it's got a giant magnifying glass.
He's spending from a helicopter. Well, they're also imagining him,
I'm sure like diving into the swimming the best thing ever.
(25:10):
There's a group in Germany called Donald Donald Donald. Their
name is the German acronym for the organization of non
commercial Supporters of Donald is um. What pray tell is
Donald is um. I'm guessing it's about Donald Duck, like
a religion dedicated to their spiritual sam Donald Duck. It's
(25:31):
a bunch of frustrating Germans. They're like, that's not a guy,
have no idea, but it's non commercial supporters of Donald
is um. I'm about people believe whatever they want to believe,
So Donaldism to the truth. So they like they're asked
about this in news stories. And that's why I'm assuming
it has something to do Donald next perfect sense. Um,
(25:52):
I would be a supporter of goofyism personally, I'm just
about it. I live that life. Um. One member of
the group, Hans House, he commented to the press at
this time and he said, quote, people are fascinated. There
is always this kind of effect when there's a clever
guy who's always outwitting the police. So they're like, here's
(26:13):
the situation. Let's go to a representative of Donald for comment,
and they find this cat. I don't know, it's weird.
He's out there like nas I root for the villain.
So people there's they're speculating about how this who who's
Dagobert right? Is he a computer expert? Is he a
railroad engineer? He seems to be into the trains electrical engineer? Yeah?
(26:37):
Is he a train spotter? Is he a cop? Is
he one of those dudes who retired just sits outside
of construction sites and goes nice job guys. People thought
he might be a former Easter German Stazi officers. Okay,
is he a surgeon? I don't know why they wanted?
Is he a board pensioner. I guess because of like
the precision of people they were with a metaphor. They're like,
(26:59):
this would at the metaphor, that's just a weird one.
So they'd have to catch them to figure this out.
Got to catch them all. On April, the police put
two bags in what's called a grit bin in a
neighborhood of Berlin. But what it in Berlin. It's a
(27:22):
whole lot of butter. Grit bin is a large metal
or plastic box. I guess that's used to store salt
and grit that you put out on the roads when
it's oh anti snow and ice stuff. Yeah, okay, yeah
with you you lived in the South and in California
Valley from the Bay Area, we don't. We don't have
to worry about a thing that's in movies. Yeah, and
(27:43):
I'll just confess I'm a terrible driver in the snow.
Stay out of it. There. They're experts here, Yeah, there
are experts out there. I'm not one to close your
eyes and pray. So Dagger Bart asks that these bags
be feel with cash and put into a grit bin
(28:04):
that's he's going to identify for them, and so they
fill him with cash but not cash paper, so fake
cash and thank you for that cash to him. Uh,
and a motion detector. They're like, oh, I see your
gadget game and I raise you. Guess what, punk, here's
a detector. And then they hid nearby and they were
(28:28):
going to jump out in surprise him when he came
to pick it up in the cops that I know.
And they had surprise parties for each other, you know,
like if they're big on surprise parties. But then they
get off and they just start firing dangerous um. So
they waited. The cops are waiting. They have a giant
net like a butterfly head and they're waiting. They're waiting.
(28:52):
They wait like an hour, nothing and then the motion
detector goes off. Yeah, but no one's been anywhere near
the grip box. Yeah, So cops go over and they
check it. They look in the in the grit bin,
they look down into it and they see a deep
hole in the and they say, I picked this one
(29:14):
for a reason for the whole leads down to the
sewer and come to find out dagger Bert built that
particular grip bin himself, so it was not a municipal one.
He built a dummy one and placed it over a
man hole so the cops make the drop. Dagger Bart
(29:35):
opens up the manhole cover from below, reaches up, grabs
the bag, and then closes the cover behind him. Um.
He looked in the bag. He saw there wasn't any
money in there. There's just paper and emotion detector sewer
and Angry ditches the bag and then escapes into the
sewer system. Yeah. Um. So by the end he had
(29:57):
tried this scheme in various rations about twenty times. It's
a lot, that is, and it's working like two thirds
of the time, I guess. Sound more importantly, though, he
has spent a ton of money on all his gadgets
and a couchrement. Now it's a job paying for itself.
He's deeper in debt than he actually yeah, because and
(30:17):
he's on welfare at this point, like legit. So um,
now we're into nineteen ninety four. I know you like
to start things off with the date. So in January
of dagger Art sent a letter to the cops. He
wants one point four million marks now, dear guys, do
(30:38):
you miss me? He also has very specific instructions about
how they're supposed to deliver this money in a paper
airplane the size of seven. It's closed. So first he
builds a miniature train. Kidding a man, I was like,
all right, first things first, I build a miniature train.
(30:59):
That's step one. Then he puts the train on some
abandoned railroad tracks. How big is this miniature I think
it's not that it's like the gauge of it. It's
like it fits big boy train tracks. But it's like
a little shorty on there, like it's like, I don't know,
maybe it's maybe he repurposed the grit box. So um,
(31:21):
he cleans and preps the tracks because they're abandoned, he
can serve any weeds. They sneaks away. Now the police
follow the instructions to the letter. They put one point
four million marks onto the train. They went through with
the actual cash this time. Wow, I know. And then
the letter instructed the police to push a big red
(31:42):
button on a device nearby, and they did it. They
pushed the big red button. I mean, I know he's
into the cartoonist, but he's more widely coyote. So they
hit the button and pow. The train zooms away at
the two. So, of course, the police chase it, They're like,
(32:05):
you're back here. But Dagabert had a plan for that.
So he had set up firecrackers along the track that
would go off when the police tripped sensors for the
to tell him like as their what their progress was like.
So the police chased the train, the firecrackers start going off.
This is like some serious home alone stuff. And the
(32:29):
firecrackers are going off and Daggabart knows like how fast
they're going where they are. But now, remember I told
you he like smoothed out prep the tracks. Apparently not
well enough. After half a mile when he they was
the train was just thirty yards away from him, Um,
it derailed and the money spilled all over the No, No,
(32:51):
dagg a Beart escaped, right, he's so close to one
point four million marks. But he had a plan to
escape them because he to get it's only thirty yards away.
He was able to get at least like some handfuls
and be able to like you know, put into the
investment of his next scheme. No, because it was like
this like tension of all the fires him before he
can get back. He doesn't have enough time to run
(33:13):
out to it and then get back because there window
he had operating. Um, so yeah, he has nothing to
show for it. Um, when we come back, I'm going
to tell you about how the cops eventually caught up
to old Arnold funk. I'm loving this dude, alright. So
(33:48):
at this point in our story today, dagger Bart is
costing the government a lot of money. I love how
they actually put the one point four million Deutsche parks
in the train and to send it and they're like,
he may do something we need to Like, well, they
knew we're going to catch him, so they I mean, okay,
so they're kind of playing a long thinking we have
to create the crime to bust him. So, like just
(34:11):
chasing him is costing millions and millions of it is
the cops had like three thousand leads. Yeah, everyone's calling
into fake so totally, and they had questioned more than
a hundred suspects. Um, they used dogs, helicopters, psychics, astrologers,
(34:33):
like they pulled out all the stops. There was a
reward for information about his identity. Of course. Um, well,
they set up a telephone line that you could call
and listen to a recording of his voice because you know,
he's always calling up like, hey, guys, new plan Daggerbard again. Okay, guys,
do you think about electromagnetism? Raise your hand if you
(34:55):
like trains. I'm raising my hand right now. Um, so
I'm a big How are you holding the phone? Don't
ask questions? So um they said, you can call in
and listen to his voice and then if you recognize it,
tell us. So people were constantly calling in trying to
rap him out, but no one, no one had a
good lead. Um. A psychologist who worked with the police
(35:18):
finally convinced them to take this new tactic. They said that,
you know, the psychologist was like, he is someone who
has failed. He's a failure professionally and socially, Like no
one who has it together is doing this kind of stuff,
and he's trying to prove himself. So they said, if
you treat him with more respect, you may be able
(35:38):
to kind of lure him out, soften him up. Oh interesting.
I thought they were going to go like, we should
use one of the episodes of the Scrooge McDuck comics
that we've been reading, use one of those things to
catch him. We have all these research exactly well so,
but The thing is is that he really didn't care
one way or another about Scrooge McDuck. So it wasn't
like he was familiar. But I love that they went
(35:59):
down that rab hole. He just with an off handed
Oh I saw a picture of it. I'm like, yeah,
call me Scrooge with duck. Um. So she encourages this,
this psychologist encourages them to like build a rapport when
he calls, and they's also thinking, like they're thinking, if
we can get the phone called the last long enough,
we can trace the call, which that didn't occur to them.
(36:19):
He's calling them all the time. Maybe he just always
did short phone calls I guess. Apparently when he would
like ask for a drop and they would show up
but he wouldn't be there, he would write notes to
apologize later, really polite notes like I'm so sorry we
coordinated that and I flaked on you. I was under
the weather. I just didn't have it to come out.
(36:40):
So um, they're waiting for his calls. A the police
traced his call to a specific phone booth, so we're
getting there. But when they get there, no phone came. However,
nothing but vibes. Two witnesses were able to describe him
to a sketch artist. So that's a good one. Um.
(37:01):
And the police put the sketch on TV, so now
people like, oh, more information on Dagobert. This is the
guy I gotta hide held out. According to Funking, his
wife saw the sketch and didn't recognize him, for she's like,
that's banks. The thing is, the sketch really looked a
(37:22):
lot like ri Tile. I don't know how to say. Uh,
he was the officer in charge of the whole case.
That's amazing. Yeah, the sketch looks just like him, and
they're yeah, so um. When they went there to look
(37:44):
at the at the phone booth, um, they noticed that
near the phone booth was this car with a mountain
bike on a rack, and they're like, you know, that
looks a lot like the escape bike is definitely on
two ways. Like, I think we're on the right track here.
So April dagger Bart calls the police to arrange the
next money drop. Now the officers, including the one who
(38:07):
slipped in dog poop hold officer cocas Um, they surrounded
the phone booth and arrested him. Oh right there, so
full circle. I didn't see that coming. The cops had
tried to catch him thirty times, and now they finally
do it, and they failed times. So who's the failure now,
Officer psychologist, officer poop shoes Um. When he's arrested, Funky says, quote, today,
(38:34):
you'll definitely pop the corks. Unfortunately, I won't be able
to celebrate with you, but you can at least toast
to me. Okay, He's like, look, you did it. So
they pop corks, they pop bottles. The Berlin cops were
like chugging wine and dancing around their patrol cars in
the street. Oh yeah. And then the police in Hamburg
they had special bottles of beer made in anticipation of
(38:57):
this day. They had Scrooge McDuck labels on them, and
so they're like, break out the Scrooge beers, let's hit it, fellas,
and they're just check lada um. So once he's identified,
then of course more information comes out about him. Do
you think they had like a launch pad mcquack light
beer for some of the officers who didn't want the
full flavored logger I can't have all the calories. They
(39:20):
had a non alcoholic version for those who wanted to partake,
but the hue and doing louis special, Yes for the
children's Uh, this is ginger ginger. So his neighbors. Arnauld's
neighbors were pretty shocked. But you know what was shocking
to them, It's because he had out in front of
his house was parked this old Mercedes and had been
(39:41):
there for ages, and he was always going out and
trying to get it running. Couldn't get it running, couldn't
get it running. And they're like, how is he building
all these gadgets and he can't fix the blasting car
in front of his house. So that's sort of like,
I don't think it's him. This guy can't. He can't
fix anything. Look at this change the rate eight. You
can do electromagnetic trains. So they're like, if you can
(40:03):
fix that, you can create all these weird gadgets and
do all the stuff you can't fix an old Benzo
No does not compute. What if that's his cover? Though
he's good with some things. Out the end, he had
he has an i Q of not bad, which I
suppose is good. Um, and he's a total auto did act,
so I mean, don't forget. Yeah, he dropped out of
(40:25):
school at fifteen, he read like tons of mechanical magazines
and then figured out how to craft his little wacky
bombs and extortion machines. This a little wacky, his wacky
bombs that has like confetti and stuff on him springs.
(40:47):
His defense team, though, pushed the idea that Arnold was sick,
like he had the flu for a few years. They
said that the fumes from his painting work gave him
really bad headaches and that he was always forgetting stuff.
There is a expression in German about turpentine makes the
painters strange. I can't My friends mother's German, and she
used to see me in my all whites and she
would say that, and I was like turpentine mocking. I
(41:10):
can't remember it. Isn't that the turpentine to the paint dinner?
You had like the gold huff? Right, had the paper
bag in my hand. You want to huff? Well? Like
the thing is like he that accidental huffer theory fell apart.
It's because he was super sharp at the trial. He
was like cutting up with one liners and stuff. I'm
(41:35):
not so sure. Uh. In the end he pleads guilty
and is fine five million marks, And that's like to
pay back the department store. Particularly, his wife sold her
story and the rights to publish family photos to a
magazine for around sixty marks. You got to hold out
for more. You got millions to now people were still
(41:58):
wearing their dagg abart gear. Oh merched, it's still gonna
be tough. And then in response to his imprisonment, they
start wearing hats that said free dagg a Bear. I
want to get one of the let be great. Um
we can find one, yeah, totally in two that or
just make them with a marker, some puffy paints. Going
(42:19):
to get a baseball cap and use puffy paints and
put free dagger Bart on it. And then it's just
going to add to my weird lady walking your dog
look that I've got going on in the neighborhood. How
your neighbors liking it these days? All right? Uh So
in two thousand he served six years of his sentence
and then he was released. Okay, he gets a job
(42:41):
as a cartoonist at the satirical magazine Ulan Spiegel something
else Stories another Spiegel. So um he becomes this cartoonist.
He's still I think he still works there today, which
speelss story I've been lying to you all. Sorry. Spiegel,
remember Spielberg means like storytown. He's gonna take you downtown
(43:05):
start tontown. But anyway back to Arnold ar know the Spiegel?
Uh foon ca. I don't know what Spiegel means. Am
I saying something terrible? No? No, no, no, I don't
believe it can't be. It's like I'm probably we're probably
probably used paper and we're like the baby means like news.
(43:25):
Hold on a second, hey, producer, save me. Let's see here.
Vo is the Spiegel mirror? Mirror? Spiel mirror? Sure? Um,
(43:47):
so okay, so yeah, the Spiegel another kind of mirror.
He works at that satirical magazine. Um, he's a really
well known and regarded cartoonist. And like he did like
these posters making fun of like Rolling Stones tours where
they're all geriatric bones. It's like I'll posted on Instagram.
(44:10):
They're pretty funny. Um. Here's an interesting note though about this.
In December of two thousand four, Channel four in the
UK aired a three part TV show called The Heistuno. Yeah,
I have been trying desperately to get, you know, a
a way to see all three of these episodes. They're
not easy to find over State side um this show.
(44:34):
It was written, created, directed by David Glover and Rudolph
Hertzog Son of vernerker Um. So. In the show, this
group of five former criminal masterminds were put together to
accomplish preassigned heist. Yes, stuff like stealing a specific painting
(44:58):
at this exhibit or like a profile car and to
the cameras are on it and we have to watch
them do it. Yeah, they have to come up with
it and then execute this heist. And the people who
owned whichever it was, like, let's say with the painting
in the gallery, they know that there that something was
going to happen, and they're not allowed to change their
security protocols leading up to this and they don't know
(45:20):
what's Yeah, some of them were like, no way, I'm
not doing that. Others were like, no, this is a
great way to prove that we have amazing security. Right. So,
the thieves on the show included gangster Joey Pyle, good
Name Burglar Peter Scott, Armed Robert Terry Smith, cyber expert
Matthew Bevan, and none other than extortionists are no Funke
(45:44):
master class. He gets up with these dudes. We're going
to probably do an episode about the show itself at
some point, Like I'm still gathering information on that, because
the whole setup is just way too ridiculous entertainment. And
like some of these fellow thieves I think are going
to need their own special episodes as well, because like
some of these dudes are, I want to know about
(46:05):
Joey Pyle, here you go. Um, Matthew Bevan is interesting,
the cyber dude. So either way, Um, what you can
see from all of this is that the thrill of
notoriety is just as much a draw for these guys
as the money they stole. So this is going to
be phenomenal. Um. And that's so that's you know, we
got our No, he's got this notoriety. He was loving it,
(46:28):
he's milking it. Yeah, And so I love that he
gets out of jail and now he's like reformed, he's
got this good gig. What he really wanted to do
when he was a little boy. He followed the best
professional advice there is. But just don't try to find
a job, make a job for yourself exactly, do what
you love. You'll never work a day in your life
and so yeah, then he winds up. Also like on
(46:48):
the TV, what's your ridiculous takeaway? Dude? Donald is um
flat out one word Donald? Why would you go with
Donald is M when goofy ism is right there? Do
the duck sound again? That's just an angry Donald duck?
(47:10):
Does that should be your ring tone? Do people still
do ring tones? Everyone I know keeps their phone on
vibrate all the time. Yeah. Always. But like I used
to like having ringtones for all the different people, like
out of individual ones, and then I'd have like, you know,
the Rockford Files theme song for everyone who wasn't somebody
who had to think a song so Rockford Files. I mean,
I would get to listen to becuse I wouldn't answer,
(47:31):
So I got to listen to that song all the
way through it. The best I had Hornpiper's Lament, that
like Popeye song on the MIDI version of it, and
I used to put it at full volume because there's
nothing funnier than like you're walking around and that comes
out of your person. You're like, what, I don't know
what that is? Um, my ridiculous takeaway? I keep thinking
(47:54):
of the quote from Hans Aust the Donald representative. Yes,
the guy from Donald is that Donald does him? Dude? Um,
he had this other quote quote I wish somehow that
he had just gotten away with the money and vanished.
Now it turns out he's just an ordinary human being
who makes mistakes like everyone else. The legend is gone. Wow,
(48:14):
that's cold blooded. He's like I thought he was something special,
but I thought he was a mart man. Then he
will bleed. He's a terrible disappointment. Yeahs since just an
ordinary human being who makes mistakes like everyone else, which
is like kind of everybody were talking about. That's the
(48:36):
whole bag. The legends gone like, yeah, Hans Aust what
have you done in your life that this is this
entertaining Donald? How many infallible people do you you really
want to hang out with or know about? I mean zero,
gotta love the flaws. Um, that's it. That's enough. I'm
done and exhausted. That's us for us to day. Yeah.
(49:02):
You can find us online at Ridiculous Crime on both
Twitter and Instagram. Hey, hey pal, you've got a tip
for us about a ridiculous crime that you want to
hear about. You want to confessed wood ridiculous Crime? Email
us at Ridiculous Crime at gmail dot com. Other than that,
just tune in next time. Ridiculous Crime is hosted by
(49:28):
Elizabeth Dutton and Zarin Burnett, produced and edited by Mayor
of funka Town, Dave Couston. Research is by German folk
hero Morrissy Brown. The theme song is by Thomas put
the Cash on the Tiny Tin Lee and Travis Blame
the Fuse. Dutton executive producers are Missing McDuck cousins Ben
Boland and Noel Brown. Ridiculous Crime is a production of
(49:53):
iHeart Radio. For more podcasts to my heart Radio, visit
the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen
to your favorite show us
Hosts And Creators
Zaron Burnett
Elizabeth Dutton
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