May 28, 2024 • 52 mins
Nic Cage is a mixed bag of nuts. But Patricia Arquette is also no slouch when it comes to being, um, unique. Now imagine the two of them together –– young and in love. Well, you don't have to because it already happened! Zaron has the goods on the Love Quest that she sent him on to prove his. And things, of course, get criminally ridiculous!
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Ridiculous Crime is a production of iHeartRadio.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Elizabeth Dunton, Zaron Burnett. I have a question for you.
Speaker 3 (00:07):
You know that's funny. I have a question for you,
A question for me. Can I tell you what's ridiculous?
Speaker 2 (00:14):
That's ridiculous? I Elizabeth, what's ridiculous?
Speaker 3 (00:18):
Let me tell you? Okay, So you like the Star Wars?
Speaker 2 (00:23):
I do have the War and the Stars?
Speaker 4 (00:25):
Yes you like that?
Speaker 3 (00:26):
Yes, ghetto the who's your favorite Star Wars character?
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Let me think about that for a second. I'm gonna
go with yours, Chewbacca.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
Oh that is my favorite? Going to say Lando cal Worthington,
I Loveca. I know, So, Dave, who's your favorite Star
Wars character?
Speaker 4 (00:49):
I'm gonna go bib for Tuna.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
Okay, Okay, that that's someone in the band.
Speaker 5 (00:56):
He's one of those people that has like the part
of his body, the fleshy part that like wraps.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
All the way around like a growth right his head.
Speaker 4 (01:03):
Yeah. A friend of mine did like a fake.
Speaker 5 (01:07):
It was like I think either Jack Ruby or or
Lee Harvey Oswell being assassinated and they put him in
with like a really shocked expression, and so he became
my favorite.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
That would now it's my favorite.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
There you go.
Speaker 3 (01:22):
I love a good lee Harvey Oswald, you do. So
did you guys? Did you guys like Darth Vader?
Speaker 2 (01:28):
Oh? Actually, yes, probably is my favorite character. You're quite honest.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
Yeah right, I mean, let's let's face I love villains.
So the other part of this is that in our
on our website Ridiculous crime dot com, we have a
listener survey and we ask people to tell us what
their favorite hot sauce. This is true and so favorite
sauce Zaren.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
Zaren Yes, Zaren hot sauce.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
Spicy Zaren Dave favorite hot sauce.
Speaker 5 (01:58):
I'll say reds are a E ed or two d's,
I'm not sure, but you can get it at metunic
Oyster bar u intunic Rhode Island, among other places.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
Oh okay, he's mentioned this before.
Speaker 3 (02:09):
I thanks for asking. I like tiger sauce.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
What's yours?
Speaker 3 (02:13):
Tiger sauce? Or that chili crisp Aniwho? So you take
your Darth Vader? Yeah, and you add your hot sauce
and truffles. Do you guys like truffles of the kind
from the Earth?
Speaker 2 (02:28):
No?
Speaker 3 (02:29):
I hate it, I hate it, hate it. So you
take those three things, and you know what you get?
Star Wars Dark Side Hot Sauce by Truf h really yeah.
You know who you can blame for this, Joanne Oh
from Instagram.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
Oh. I won't blame her personally, did she?
Speaker 3 (02:49):
She seems like a total sweetheart, like a really cool
rude dude totally. But she's the one who passed this personally.
And the interns came to me with devilish looks in
their eyes. It's a dark Side Hot Sauce by Trough
combines fiery ghost peppers with the richness of black winter
truffles in a mix so alluring that it sure to
(03:11):
attempt you to the dark side. It runs anywhere from
eight hundred thousand to a million scovilles.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
Uh huh.
Speaker 3 (03:18):
It's vegan and it's gluten free, so thank god. Okay,
I mean I prefer extra gluten in everything that I consume,
and I.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
Want bacon, grease and everything I consume.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
It's as tribute to Darth Vader's story and legacy is
embodied in a luxurious collectible gift box. Intricate details pay
homage to the ominous allure of the Sith Lord, with
the Imperial crest boldly emerging from the depths of a
smoky veil housed inside Star Wars Dark Side Hot Sauce
is bottled in a sleek matte black bottle crowned with
(03:50):
a cap inspired by the unmistakable helmet of Darth Vader.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
I prefer job of the Hut barbecue sauce.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
Where love's the guy in Spaceball's dark helmet. That's what
I always see when I see these things. So you
can add a dark twist.
Speaker 4 (04:04):
One.
Speaker 3 (04:05):
Level up your spicy chicken. Two, marinate fire grilled meats. Three,
infuse your juacamole with heat.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
Four take over the galaxy with the power of the store.
Speaker 3 (04:14):
Burn a hole in your underpant.
Speaker 5 (04:16):
See you anyway I would use if I were them,
I would say, peel a cap, you know, like it's
Darth Vader's cap.
Speaker 4 (04:21):
And you got the double entendre.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
Oh there it is? Yeah, that is good.
Speaker 3 (04:26):
Can I tell you something that I don't love?
Speaker 2 (04:28):
What don't you love? Elizabeth?
Speaker 3 (04:29):
On this there's a section on the website that says
spill the Tea, and it's their faqswh tea. You know,
we need to get rid of spill the Tea because
it's generally misused The one that has misused the most
is to throw shade.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
Can Can brands just stop trying to use the type
of slang and just go back to hokey language.
Speaker 3 (04:52):
It's not just saying something insultan.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
Yeah, I know, I'm with you.
Speaker 3 (04:55):
Yes, if there's a whole thing investigated, everybody, and then
stop saying it. Yes, Okay, So yeah, that's that's ridiculous.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
Okay, back of a dead drop, Elizabeth.
Speaker 3 (05:06):
Oh my god, I just ripped myself in half.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
You know it's also ridiculous. No, I knew you didn't.
That's why I'm here.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
I don't know nothing.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
I have a sequel to a Ridiculous Crime story I
like that starring Nicholas Cage and Patricia Arquette.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
Get out of here now, I will not you. You
get right on out.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
This is Ridiculous Crime, a podcast about absurd and outrageous capers, heists,
and cons. It's ahlways ninety nine percent murder free a
and one hundred percent ridiculous.
Speaker 3 (06:04):
Spicy Oh Elizabeth Zaren Oh Zaren Dutton.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
Elizabeth Burnette. This story is a sequel, as I just
told you a squeal. Yes, but it's a sequel to
my Bob's Big Boy story.
Speaker 3 (06:17):
Whoa, this is immediate quick right, boom.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
Working fast in Hollywood to hold the audience.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
I like that.
Speaker 4 (06:24):
Well.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
I read about this one after I told you that one,
and boom, I knew I had to tell you this
one too. So here we go Bob's Big Boy too.
Boom me all right, Elizabeth, Today I want to tell
you a story about Bob's Big Boy. One of my
favorite people on the planet, Nicholas Cage.
Speaker 3 (06:39):
I thought it was the second.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
No, he's no longer on the planet. In the planet,
I guess that's true, Nicholas Cage. Yes, one of my
favorite people on the planet. Also one of my other
favorite people on the planet, Patricia Arquette.
Speaker 3 (06:54):
Oh, I had no idea that these are some of
your face.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
I know why I love like weirdos.
Speaker 3 (06:59):
Oh yeah, that's true.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
Right, they're both great weirdos, like honest earnest wardos. Not
precious people. You performative, totally just weird of their cores.
Speaker 3 (07:06):
Yeah, I can't stand performative weirdo.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
From the jump, I think I'm.
Speaker 3 (07:11):
A little bit of a weirdo.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
You are a weirdo, thank god. So do you like
them both? Do you have any sure you don't have
a strong opinions.
Speaker 3 (07:19):
I'm not like you. I don't have a shrine in
my home to these people.
Speaker 2 (07:22):
I gotta do something with all those candles.
Speaker 3 (07:25):
I know it's a fire hazard.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
What's your favorite partia or cat movie?
Speaker 3 (07:29):
Why do you do this?
Speaker 2 (07:31):
Mine's obviously true romance. Every time I've mentioned this before,
every time.
Speaker 3 (07:34):
You ask me these questions, yea, my mind blans like I've.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
Never watched Who's Patrician?
Speaker 3 (07:40):
Okay, I'll tell you. My favorite of her performances was
when she played the Lady of the Night on Law
and Order SVU. Oh yes, And I have to make
a confession.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
You watch television.
Speaker 3 (07:53):
I watch so much television, Like I watch so much
television subsceed and I've to lie on you.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
You really come and clean to I really am.
Speaker 3 (08:07):
And it's I was going to do this as of
what's ridiculous, but I've chickened out. But right now I
feel like I'm I'm in a safe place.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
You are lower the lights.
Speaker 3 (08:17):
So much television. It is disgusting. I watch a lot.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
Is there anything else you want to tell us? I
mean this is blowing.
Speaker 3 (08:25):
Yeah, no, I really this was really cleansing and I'm
feeling a lot better. But yeah, Patricia Arquette is the
hooker on SVU.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
Are you really no? Are you really a brunette?
Speaker 3 (08:35):
I'm My ethnicity is Californian.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
Okay, I know, so I'm just checking. Yeah, wow, you
watch TV. I have so much to talk to you about.
Speaker 3 (08:44):
I know you know.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
Okay. Well, Patricia Arquette a performance I love. I'll just
give you an example. Flirting with Disaster. Do you remember
this movie? You've seen this movie? Do you watch movies?
Speaker 3 (08:55):
I do. I watch it. I watch every I don't
watch TikTok or YouTube, but I watch. I love television.
I have cable television, oh my godness, and the streams.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
Where are you? You're a wire plugger? I am not
a wire cutter.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
I am plugged into absolutely every outlet in my home. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
Well, the movie Flirting with Disaster, if you are familiar
with it, I'll just give you a brief rundown for
producer Dave in case he doesn't know it. Ben Stiller
and his wife Patricia Arquette. Right, they go on this
cross country quest to find his birth parents. Now he's adopted, obviously,
so his adoptive parents are Mary Tyler Moore and George Sigall.
(09:33):
Oh that's an interesting, interesting pair, right. I love Mary
Tyler Moore and I love George Sagall too. His birth
parents are Lily Tomlin and Alan Alda. No, right, it's semest.
And then they're like they play these off the grid
like former hippies who are still making acid, like in
New Mexico.
Speaker 3 (09:48):
Yeah, yeah, yeah right.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
And Richard Jenkins if you remember him, he's in it.
He's an actor who's great and in anything.
Speaker 4 (09:53):
Rhode Islander, total shout out.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
He plays an ATF agent and at some point he
does acid. So Richard Jenkins on acid, that's just amazing.
And then Josh Brolin is his partner. I mean, you're
just like, what, And so I don't want to ruin it,
but it's this amazing film. No one seems to talk
about it, so there you go talking. I'm talking about
it all the time. Patricia ar Kut's in it, so
she's the moral center of that movie. And anyway, whatever,
go check out out if you like. Yeah, if you
(10:17):
like movies, you like to laugh. Yeah, And of course
I'd be remiss if I didn't at least just reasily
touch upon a couple of Nicholas Cage performances, right, I mean, here,
I'll list a couple to jump start your memory. You
tell me what your favorite Nicholas Cage performance is, m
or No, let's go with your third favorite. Okay, okay,
Raising Arizona, Yeah, hi, mcdona, Moonstruck he plays Ronnie the
(10:39):
one handed baker. Peggy Sue got married, he plays the
teen honeymoon in Las Vegas.
Speaker 3 (10:46):
The Rock Oh yeah, con Air yep.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
Face sauce of Yeah, National Treasure one and two. Yes,
I mean I could keep going on. We have so
much time. But what's your third favorite Nicholas Cage movie performance?
Speaker 3 (10:58):
The one where he plays himself with Pedro Pascal.
Speaker 2 (11:01):
Wow, that's actually the answer. I was going to tell
you there was a trick question, Elizabeth. The correct answer
is The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent, the new one
with Pedro Pascal where he plays Nick Cage.
Speaker 3 (11:13):
That's a great movie.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
I mean, he is the perfect casting for Nick Cage.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
Yeah, he really is.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
So as soon as you hear the words Nick Cage
immediately began to imagine this outsize performance in a movie, right,
I mean, he's just pretty much known for that. But
can we talk about his outsize performance in life? Sure?
Speaker 3 (11:27):
Oh yeah, he's had issues.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
Yeah, no dog is that. But I mean he is
full tilt Nick Cage all the time. He's just going,
but not like a bonk bonk click where it's like,
you know Gary Busey, Yeah, Gary Busey, Christpin Gover. They
make you a little nervous to be riding shotgun in
the car with him or Nick Cage. I'm like, nothing's
going to happen. I'm a Nick Cage.
Speaker 3 (11:44):
There's no governor on him.
Speaker 2 (11:46):
Yes, exactly so in an interview, and this is very recent,
he spoke with GQ in twenty twenty two. They did
a feature on him and he spoke with the writer
at Gabriella Payea, great writer, and she went to his
place in Las Vegae and she got this quote. This
is up towards the top. It's like basically the lead
and Nicholas and I quote Nicholas Cage greets me at
(12:07):
his door wearing a kung fu suit. This is my
wing chung kung Fu suit, he explains, waving me in
and handing me a mug of coffee. I studied with
my seafoo Jim Law when I was twelve years old
because I was a big Bruce Lee fan, So it's
like my uniform to relax in. At the time, he
was fifty eight years old, Elizabeth just living his best
life in his like you know, ghee, hanging out drinking coffee.
(12:31):
All right, So Nicholas Cage, do you know, as he's
pointed out, he does some bonkers things, right, Like he
has bought not one, but two castles in Europe.
Speaker 3 (12:41):
Yeah, doesn't he have a dinosaur?
Speaker 4 (12:42):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (12:43):
Oh yeah, totally, also has the most haunted house in America.
It's like, in quotes, the most haunted house in America.
Speaker 3 (12:48):
Really.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
He also once owned a Lamborghini that belonged to the
Shah of Iran. He also bought a two headed snake.
Oh no, he dreamed about the snake. Yes, sorry, he
dreamed about a two headed eagle, so I guess he
was dreaming about the flag of Albania. Anyway, he wakes
up someone calls him offering him to sell him a
two headed snake. He's like, this is a something.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
All day long, his phone rings with people offering to
sell him an oddity.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
Totally.
Speaker 3 (13:13):
He has a dedicated phone.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
Like he buys the snake for eighty grande. He then
later donates it to the Audubon Zoo. Why did he
give it to the zoo because he found feeding the
snakes to be a bit depressing, Because, you see, Elizabeth,
he had to shove a spatula between the snake's two
heads so they wouldn't fight over the food to feed
the same body. It was a lot for him to hand.
It was just like anyway. He also had a pair
(13:37):
of albino cobras. They were like acting teachers to him
that they inspired his performance in ghost Rider.
Speaker 3 (13:44):
Stop.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
I swear to god. He said that, Elizabeth, how amazing
would it be to hang out with Nicholas Cage just
for like a weekend?
Speaker 3 (13:49):
I was super amazing. See how far apart I'm holding
my arm.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
I can't see them. They're so far apart. So about
our story of the day. Do you remember when Nicholas
Cage and Patricia Arquette were one married?
Speaker 3 (14:00):
Vaguely?
Speaker 2 (14:01):
Yeah? Yeah, it lasted not long.
Speaker 3 (14:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
While they were married, do you know they lived in
a mansion in bel Air built in nineteen forty five.
That makes sense, but not just any mansion, as Nicholas
Cage put it. At the time, and I quote it
was Dean Martin's house, and I like to imagine the
parties that probably went on there with Dino Sinatra and
the rat Pack, you know at the bar. Oh boy,
can you imagine the parties that that house has seen.
First you have the rat Pack, then you have Nicholas Cage.
Speaker 3 (14:26):
If those I'm telling you right.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
So anyway, uptop, I was speaking of Ben Stiller going
on a quest in that movie Flirting with Disaster, which
again you should watch, and I said that movie also
stars Patricia arqutt Yeah, right, so pulling that all together,
going on a quest Patricia Arquette. Have you ever heard
of the story about Nicholas Cage and Patricia Arqutte how
they got married. No, okay, it's truly a beautiful love story,
(14:49):
and it's so fitting for both of them, right, Nick
Cage and Purtrisi Arquette, because long story short, she sent
him on a quest.
Speaker 3 (14:56):
I love that. I don't even know what it is,
but I love it.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
Back up, but let's do this more like a movie. Okay,
let's start with their meat cute. It was the late
eighties Elizabeth nineteen eighty seven to be exact, at the time,
Patricia Arquette was nineteen years old, Nicholas Cage was twenty
three years old. She was at Canters in West Hollywood.
That's the Jewish deli on Fairfax Love that. She's yeah,
great place, right, She's in there working on a corn
beef sandwich.
Speaker 3 (15:19):
Or whatever, putting their going to town.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
Yeah, seriously, going get me another one of those pickles
they have, all right, and uh boom in walks Nicholas
Cage and Crisp and Glover, who you're a man, they're
best friends. Imagine the two of them just rolling around
you many. Yeah, so they're friends and they now can
you imagine hanging out with them in nineteen eighty seven? Anyway,
they two friends. They walk into Canters, they see Patricia Arquette,
(15:43):
They go over, they sit with her.
Speaker 3 (15:44):
I would have been very young. Yes, you had a
lot of drugs, you know, youngest speed freak. Anyway, go ahead,
So they go over.
Speaker 2 (15:54):
And they talk with her, and then she invites them
to sit down, or they invite themselves, I don't know.
They sit with her, they start learning to start having fun. Eventually,
Crispin Glover he tells her, I want to marry you, right,
and she's like, oh, that's cute, right, and then Hero,
I'll just let Patricia Arquette put it. She says, I
met him and Crispin Glover in a restaurant and Christmas said,
I'm gonna marry you and Nick said, no, I'm gonna
(16:17):
marry you. Now it's a competition, right, So naturally she's like, okay, yeah,
that's not happening. But Nicholas Cage was like, and I quote,
I will prove I am worthy of your love. So
back to Patricia Arkette's version of the story, he said
give me a quest. I thought he was joking, Elizabeth.
Nicholas Cage was not joking.
Speaker 3 (16:37):
Now when he says give me a quest, that man
means business.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
Oh yeah, Nicholas Cage is never joking, especially about love. No,
So back to Patty Arquette, and Nick said, give me
a list of ten things, like a quest, and I'll
get all these things and then you'll marry me.
Speaker 3 (16:51):
Okay, love this.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
I figure what your reaction to a man saying.
Speaker 3 (16:56):
Give me a question a quest, And then she's like,
I'll consider it. Yeah, Well, Patricia, she gets to decide
the quest totally.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
So she back to her She picks up the story.
So I wrote, all these things that I thought were
impossible to get, getting JD. Salinger's autograph, a Hill Tribe
wedding costume, steal me a Bob's Big Boy statue, like
all of these things. I was laughing, A black orchid,
all of these things off the top of her. Yeah,
(17:25):
just comes up with a list of them possible at
the Canners DELI.
Speaker 3 (17:28):
Oh god.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
So she also she says, you wanted a caddy size
piece of fiberglass sculpture. It's a quote. Yeah, yeah, now
that the the Hill Tribe wedding costume. I kind of
skipped past that. That was a very specific request. Patricia
Rick had later clarified that she wanted a quote wedding
dress from the Lesu tribe in Southeast Asia. So that's
what she told him. So we don't know the full
(17:51):
list of all ten items, but what we do know
that was included was this one a wedding dress from
the Lisu tribe in Southeast Asia. Two a caddy size
peace fiberglass sculpture. Three getting a JD. Salinger autograph. Four
steal me a Bob's Big Boy statue. Five a black orchid.
So that's basically half the list, the original list. It's
(18:12):
been lost in time. It was publishing something that's no
longer available online. So I gathered all the people who
quoted from this, and this is all we have, right.
So Patricia Arquette, she recalls and I quote. I gave
him a list of all these things to fined, and
he started doing them. Now, from what I found, I'm
not sure the order of the items he brought her.
Some stories reported one item came in first. Other stories
would change the order. My favorite version goes though Nicholas
(18:33):
Cage showed up at Patricia Arquette's house with the first item, JD.
Salinger's autograph.
Speaker 3 (18:38):
I feel like that would probably be the easiest.
Speaker 2 (18:40):
To really why, Oh you're so smart, I'm not gonna
go and yeah, I'm over here right. She considered this
I impossible to retrieve object because as you know, he's
a very famous record. So everyone's thinking, like getting an
autograph and then would be impossible or damn near impossible
to do, right, Nick Lucas Cage, But does he go
out and go like, you know, full National Tree measure.
(19:00):
I'm gonna go and steal JD. Saladar's autograph, which is
my expectation. Freak. He did it like you the smart way.
He's like, I'm rich enough to go buy this.
Speaker 3 (19:08):
To have signed that books.
Speaker 2 (19:10):
Yes, exactly. So he purchased a letter that had his
signature eyes. So he bought it twenty five hundred dollars.
Day one, he shows up because the kid he was
a collector from the from the early days. Like I said,
he was always weirded. She already had a collector guy
he could contact. He's like, hey, you're my letter guy.
What do you have red phone? Exactly. So, day one
(19:30):
of his quests, he rocks up to Patricia Kat's house
with that first item. She's outside. What's she doing? Oh
you know, she's just playing hopscotch with her girlfriends.
Speaker 3 (19:37):
Are you kidding?
Speaker 2 (19:38):
Sorry to god, so the love this so much. Big
Cage rides up, I'm assuming on a motorcycle. He drops
off the letter in a cigar box. He says nothing
to her, then he rides off.
Speaker 3 (19:48):
Wait this is These are the greatest people on earth
because it's not precious and performing, it's just they're so pure.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
Yes, my god, what are her friends thinking? Like you
have a guy going on a question to prove his
love to you.
Speaker 3 (20:02):
Amazing.
Speaker 2 (20:02):
Your girlfriend's gotten stoked on that, right, Okay, So let's
take a little break and after these messages we'll get
back to the love quest. And we're back Elizabeth. So
(20:31):
what are you thinking so far? You're digging our little and.
Speaker 3 (20:34):
Loving this so much. I really am, I really, I'm
loving the image of her playing hopscotch with her friends.
It's just incredible.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
And then her new bow rides out.
Speaker 3 (20:43):
Yeah, and he violently passes her a cigar box. Which
cigar boxes are cooler. It's the greatest way to get something.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
Great way to get small, like a letter. Perfect. Okay.
So day two rolls around, So, just like on day one,
Nicholas Cage shows back up a Patricia Arcat's house. He
rides up on his motorcycle. This time we know for certain.
And as Nick Cage told Playboy back in nineteen ninety six,
quote she wouldn't come out, but I could see her
peeking down from the top floor. She confirms his account
(21:12):
because Patricia Arcutt recalled the same story. She said, quote,
I peek out the window and there he is with
a purple orchid and a black spray paint can and
he's spraying it. She'd asked for a black orchid, right,
but that doesn't exist. You cannot find a black orchid.
So it's truly as an impossible object. So Nicholas Cage,
he doesn't Nicolose Cage thing. He improvised. So, and I quote,
(21:32):
in my very showy way, I whipped the orchid out
of my pocket. Then I whipped out the paint can
it started spray painting the orchid black. Then he goes
and he walks up to the front door of her house.
I rang the doorbell again and she came down. I
just gave it to her, and I got back on
my motorcycle and I left. So once again, doesn't he
says nothing, just ride to away like that.
Speaker 3 (21:51):
He didn't spray it and then bring it over like
to let her see. Yeah, oh that's so good.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
So Nicholas Cage's uncanny ability to rise to her weirdly
specific challenges is winning him some points with Patricia Arcuat
right as she put it, and I quote, I asked
for a black orchid from the jungles of Peru or
Brazil or something, and he spray pnded me in orchid.
It was very romantic. However, he remembers it a little
differently because Nicholas Cage adds she was freaked out. So
(22:21):
now it's it's day three. She's wondering what to expect
now on day three, and he's got to be thinking
of the next item on her list that he can
get for, probably locally. So I don't know if this
actually was on day three. I couldn't find that to
cut for confirmation. But soon enough he contacts her. This
time he speaks to her right. He calls her and
he tells her, I almost got the Bob's Big Boy
(22:43):
last night. But then, as we've covered, he found that
the Bob's Big Boy statue was chained to its pedestal.
So Nicholas Cage he has a plan for that, so
he informs her, I'm gonna go back tonight with the
right tools. What are the right tools to Nicholas Cage
Bob's Big Boy heist? Turns out he was gonna bring
a chainsaw and just wreck some shop. He's like, cut
(23:06):
that baby right off. Can you imagine the news story
that would have come out if he got caught chainsaw
in hand cutting down to Bob's Big Boy and like Burbank.
Speaker 3 (23:14):
This is like pre internet.
Speaker 2 (23:16):
Oh yeah, totally. But even though I mean, if him
telling the cops like I'm doing this for love, he's
got the chainsaw and he's cutting down Big Boy.
Speaker 3 (23:22):
Then his agent makes him do the apology interview and people.
Speaker 2 (23:26):
Exactly and an InStyle. So okay. At this point, uh,
Nick Cage, he tells her about the chainsaw, He tells
her about the Bob's Big Boy statue in his plans,
and Patricia Arquette recalls and I quote and then so
he was like, and you're gonna marry me soon. So
finally she realizes how far down the road she's traveling
with him, and she tells Andy Cohen and Shania Twain
(23:48):
on Andy Cohen's chat show, and I was like, no, man,
we've never even gone out on a date. Let's slow
it down. So she has to tell Nick Cage. I
was like, okay, stop, let's just date maybe and not
get married. So at this point, after hearing all this,
Nicholas Cage is willing to slow it down.
Speaker 3 (24:04):
Of course, participating in courtship like in the days of
oles exactly.
Speaker 2 (24:09):
Yeah, chivalrous, totally. It's very much one of the great romances.
You gonna hear the minstrel.
Speaker 3 (24:14):
Playing I Love a Good Quest.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
As Patty Arkatt tells it. Then we dated, right, so
now we got our cute montage for our rom com
Oh right. The parent they planned to run away to
Cuba for their first date.
Speaker 3 (24:26):
Wait, I am so excited because I was thinking, like,
where would they go on to do?
Speaker 2 (24:30):
Exactly They're going to somewhere with trade relations with America
or an extradition treaty. So the couple, they only make
it as far as Mexican.
Speaker 3 (24:41):
They have to dip down.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
Well, apparently the details are hazy, but apparently he went
full Nicholas Cage in an airport in Mexico. There is
some trouble about their tickets, and then Nicholas Cage had
a full on meltdown and they're like, go back to America.
Speaker 3 (24:53):
It never solves anything, No.
Speaker 2 (24:56):
And it was a bit too much for Patricia ar
Cat too right, So they returned to America, as she
told Andy Cohne and Shania Twain. And then when I
think we broke up, it was just too fast and
too much for me at that time. I was nineteen, right,
so well, she saw.
Speaker 3 (25:09):
The red flag, don't see the red flags.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
Ye splashing anger like that. Yeah, major intensity. Anyway, time
came and erased those unpleasant memories for her. She had
a change of heart because, as she put it, and
then many years went by and we were friendly. And
in March of nineteen ninety five, Nicholas Cage went into
Canter's Deli. He was about two am. And guess who
was sitting there all alone? Crispin Glover. No, it was
(25:34):
Chrispin Glover. I'm going to marry you. Chrispin Glover said
to him, No, I'm gonna marry you.
Speaker 3 (25:39):
She stood up and said, I can kick.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
So it was Patricia Harkett sitting alone at two am
in Canters. At this point, she's now twenty seven. Nicholas
Cage is thirty one, and so he says, Hi, So
did she? They sit, They chalk, they flirt, they laugh.
She felt that they had both changed, right, they've grown.
Patricia Katt also says she spent many years in search
of quote, an honorable, truthful, brave man. And she recalled
(26:05):
this man who went on a quest to win her
hand in marriage, and as she later told The New
York Times, he was on my mind. I needed to
be reassured that the depth of his love would be
as brave as before. And so now a little while later,
she decided maybe she was wrong about Nicholas Cage. And
then I called him and I said, okay, I'm ready
to get married for their second go round. She was
(26:27):
the one to propose this time, so, as Nicholas Stage
recalls in an interview with Rolling Stone, and I quote
when she showed up in my house dressed head to
toe in black vinyl, carrying a big purple wedding cake.
I knew I was with the right woman.
Speaker 3 (26:42):
So there were zero dates.
Speaker 2 (26:44):
I'll be the I think they were skipping past that.
There was some days before we got to the all blacks.
The purple wedding cake.
Speaker 3 (26:51):
Incredible.
Speaker 4 (26:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:52):
So she's standing there on his front doorstep and she's
trying to get out the words like this is how
I picture it. Like. She's like, I love you, you you
complete me, and I just Nicholas Cage listening during interrupts
and puts up a finger, shut up, just shut up.
You had me at hello.
Speaker 3 (27:06):
I wish I could see that in the movie with
your boyfriend.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
Now that these two young lovers have refound each other,
proclaim their love and their devotion for each other based
on what you know of them both. Can you imagine
the wedding of Nicholas cage of Patricia Arcat?
Speaker 3 (27:23):
Oh my god?
Speaker 2 (27:25):
Right, But you don't have to, Elizabeth, because I'd like
you to close.
Speaker 3 (27:28):
Your eyes are already closed, and i'd like you to
picture I have already pictured.
Speaker 2 (27:35):
Elizabeth. Do you hear that the sound of waves softly
crashing against the sandy beaches of Carmel, California? Do you
feel that the sea spray in the midst of the
shore on your fuzzy face, the warmth of the sunlight
breaking through the clouds overhead and warming you as you
bob and float among a celp bed in the Monterey bed. You, Elizabeth,
(27:58):
are a California Sea God, thank you, and you are
taking a nap. But your buoyant slumber has disturbed when
you hear the dulcet engine sound of a Ferrari pull
up and stop in the gravel. This catches your attention.
You wipe sleep from your fuzzy eyes and look up
in the direction of the well engineered car noise. You
see a blue Ferrari. A man in a dark suit
(28:20):
gets out the man in the Ferrari are both up
on a bluff overlooking the Pacific coast. You can see
them and they can see you. But the man is
not looking down at the ocean. Instead, he's walking around
to open the door for his passenger. As you gracefully
float among the bull kelp, you gaze up at the
bluff to keep an eye on what these kooky humans
and the blue Ferrari are doing. A couple other cars
(28:41):
pull up in part so now you and a few
other otters, who have also taken note of the party
of humans, all watch to see what comes next. The
small party of humans starts to gather on the bluff.
You don't know this because you're an otter, but one
of the humans is the former chief of Police of Carmel.
Another a minister, a lady preacher, Elizabeth. The man in
(29:03):
the dark suit stands before the lady preacher. Next to
him stands a woman in a leopard print jacket. The
couple look happy. You can see their wide smiles from
where you lays among the kelp. You've never been to
a human wedding before. This is your first, and it
is a doozy Welcome to the wedding of Nicholas Cage
and Patricia Arquette. You and the other sea otters are
some of the very few witnesses. All in all, the
(29:26):
wedding seems like a nice affair. This is what their
love quest has led to. This is the hero's reward.
The ceremony is short. It lasts a brief ten minutes.
The couple stands in the sun and the breeze. Their
love seems so real and so lasting. You find your
rooting for these two crazy kids as you watch the
newly pronounced husband and wife climb back into that blue Ferrari.
(29:47):
The Italian sports car speeds off, headed down the coast
towards Big Sir, look at you, lucky witness to the
Patricia Arkhead Nicholas Cage nuptials.
Speaker 3 (30:00):
That was awesome now, it was.
Speaker 2 (30:01):
Patricia Arquette told Andy Cohen and Shania Twain quote, we
hadn't slept together for eight years until our wedding night.
So after hearing all about their long, strange love affair
and then their wedding night, Jitters, Shania Twain says, that's
very romantic, and Patricia Arqutt agrees that was very romantic.
Speaker 3 (30:18):
I thought Shania Twain was going to say that don't impress.
Speaker 2 (30:20):
Me, right, I was so praying for.
Speaker 3 (30:25):
Didn't do it?
Speaker 2 (30:26):
Now, after all those years and all this task from
the aforementioned love quest, these two crazy kids finally found
a way to make a go of it. For a
little while. It was intense, it was passionate. Their marriage
a brightly burning fire, and naturally it burned out, like
all things which consumed themselves in flames. They were married
Elizabeth in nineteen ninety five, but separated in January of
nineteen ninety six. They technically remained married on the books
(30:48):
though for years, finally divorcing in two thousand. Oh wow, yeah,
so our Kett later would tell Rolling Stone the couple
separation was due to the fact that quote, his success
was very scary to me. I couldn't touch him. I mean,
I would think her reason was that Nicholas Cage was
absolutely unhinged. She's like, it's his success. I did not
expect that. So what about after their divorce? Who got
(31:09):
to keep the JD. Salinger letter? Yeah, that's what Andy
Cohen and Shania Twain both wanted to know. That was
their first question. They're like, yeah, what happened with the
Challenger letter. I know anyway, Patricia Arquett says, and I quote,
I returned that to him. I never thought he'd get it,
like I think she never thought he'd actually retreat.
Speaker 3 (31:27):
I think she's probably not the kind of collector.
Speaker 2 (31:30):
No, he's the collector about that. So as for Nicholas Cage,
when he speaks at that time in his life, he
said of his past self, quote, back then, I was
living out my fantasies of what I thought an exciting
man should be. I wanted to be unpredictable and frightening,
and I guess I was. I mean, Patricia says that
at the time, I was pure testosterone. I can't really
(31:52):
imagine myself getting that angry now. I haven't punched a
wall in years, so I don't really know what happened.
I mean, should I be punching walls? No, Nicholas, you
should not be punching A wild good way to break
your hand, in an even better way to scare the
people who love you. So as for the whirlwind love
that they felt at the time, Patricia Arquett also said,
and I quote, there's nothing like creativity and young love.
(32:14):
That's why we have a species. I don't really hate
any period of the human experience. I've dealt with a
lot of death, and loving a lot of people through
their dying time, and loving other people through their birthing time,
and being out a lot of births, and being young
and beautiful and not even understanding that, and then getting
older and becoming invisible for a period of time, and
then loving that and getting wiser and knowing which battles
to fight. I'm really loving this whole, painful, joyful ride
(32:36):
of life. I think you have to have that attitude
if you want to go in any relationship with age. Yeah,
but in general. But I'm saying, but he's really going
to test you. But if you have this in life,
you're golden.
Speaker 3 (32:47):
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2 (32:48):
So after their time together and they went their separate ways,
Nicholas Kate continued Elizabeth with his quests, and he even
managed to get into legal trouble again, only this time
what he ended up with ilegally was far more valuable.
Well then a Bob's big boy statue.
Speaker 3 (33:02):
We'll be back such a thing.
Speaker 2 (33:03):
Oh yeah, I swear We'll be right back. With Nicholas
Cage's other illegal quests. After these bright messages and we're back, Elizabeth,
(33:29):
You're back, I know right? Ready for one more? Nicholas
Cage quest Always in two thousand and seven, there was
a dinosaur skull for sale at an auction you y
I have? It was a Torontosaurus bitar, which is like
a kissing cousin of a Torontosaurus rex. The enormous Torontosaurus
dinosaur skull was billed as quote perfect for a New
(33:50):
York City apartment.
Speaker 3 (33:52):
Wait by whom?
Speaker 2 (33:55):
An auction house? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (33:58):
Can you imagine you work at this auction hus and
you have to write the copy.
Speaker 2 (34:02):
For the catalog perfect for a New York City of park.
Speaker 3 (34:05):
How am I going to describe this on rock? Bigger
than a bread box?
Speaker 6 (34:09):
Shoot?
Speaker 3 (34:10):
No, that's not going to work.
Speaker 2 (34:11):
Draft eight goes well with a gogin No starting bid
one hundred grand?
Speaker 3 (34:18):
Wow?
Speaker 2 (34:19):
Yeah. There were three hundred and forty five items for
sale in this auction. According to the New York Times,
the list of items up forbidding included and I quote
an Egyptian mummy's hand, a person's hand, Elizabeth.
Speaker 4 (34:31):
A whole hand?
Speaker 3 (34:32):
Horrible all right?
Speaker 2 (34:33):
Next, a lion, hyena and warthog skulls followed by a
gold nugget weighing sixty two troy ounces and behind glass
but touchable on request, crystals, minerals, and a meteorite from Mars,
But the bell of the ball was the Torontosaurus batar skull.
As The New York Times reported quote, The skull, estimated
(34:54):
to be about sixty seven million years old, is thirty
two inches long and sixty five sent complete, with the
rest of it, including the lower right jaw in the
back of the skull, having been restored with casts, said
David Hrskowitz, the director of the Gallery's Natural History department.
Speaker 3 (35:11):
Was it legally, like I've talked about this.
Speaker 2 (35:17):
Yes, of course. Now you might wonder was this legally obtained?
And that's a good question. I think you know the answer. Yeah,
I think so, Herskowitz. He said he come into possession
of this specimen last summer. He's like, I got it
last summer. It's cool, man, I just recently got this.
I'm just trying to move in. Collector in Florida had
apparently contacted them with the rare find Why Florida because
(35:40):
it clearly wasn't found there, right, So I went, does
Florida come into it? Well, turns out, as the batar
might indicate, the skull was located in Mongolian bitar, right,
so excavated there and it wasn't fully freed from the rocks.
So according to the Florida collector, he purchased this Trontosaurus
skull from a Japanese collector. You don't know him. He
goes to different school, and he kept the skull in
(36:02):
a block of unhewn rock, and he'd put the dinosaur
head in a display box back in like the nineteen sixties.
And eventually sells this to the Florida collector, who and
then turns sells it to the auction house, who and
then turns it sells it to an unknown buyer.
Speaker 3 (36:14):
Interesting to the alleged probanance, I thought it was with Florida.
I'm imagining it's like South Florida. I thought it would
be like a Russian oligar.
Speaker 2 (36:23):
Yeah. Actually I cannot tell you who the person is,
but I don't think they're a rausianal oligar. But anyway,
I wish I could had that information for you. Ay,
let's pretend they were. So the torontosaurs buitar skull was
put up on the auction block. It was the subject
of a rather mighty fight amongst bidders. Sure was finally
sold to quote a bit of two hundred and seventy
six thousand dollars phoned in by a private collector on
(36:46):
the West coast from the gallery would not identify the skull.
This skull was the big ticket sale of the auction. Elizabeth.
Speaker 3 (36:53):
This is supposed to be for a New York apartment.
Speaker 2 (36:58):
The same mystery bidder also one quote a rare giant
wolf skull from the Rancho Librea formation. Sale price fifty
thousand dollars. So this mystery buyer, they've dropped three hundred
and twenty six thousand dollars and a dinosaur skull and
a wolf skull. It's long than alleged. The big loser
that day was Leonardo DiCaprio. He was bidding on this
Torontosaurus bitar skull and he ultimately lost out to Nicholas Cave.
Speaker 3 (37:21):
You know where the big loser was that day? Science?
Speaker 2 (37:25):
A lot of people said that, a lot of people
said that, yes, curatorial process. Yeah, So of course it
was Nick Cage who wanted a rare dino head and
a prehistoric wolf skull and was willing to drop more
than a quarter million dollars to get it. Now, it
kind of makes perfect sense because he was buying all
this real estate at the time. Remember he had the
two castles, and I'm sure if you you know, if
you buy two castles, right, you show up and all
(37:45):
of a sudden, like let's say it's an impulse purchase, right,
and then you get the keys to your new castle
or new two U castle, and you walk in you realize,
oh my god, they took away all this stuff for like, yeah,
the staging my castle, the Knight's armor, Yeah, you got it,
like all of a sudden, phill up a whole castle
with of course, you're like, I need a dinosaur skull.
I'm gonna probably need a wolf scull, and I'm in the.
Speaker 3 (38:04):
Guess there's not a home goods within one hundred miles.
Speaker 2 (38:07):
Probably not. It turns out Leonardo DiCaprio got lucky by
losing out on that day because the plot thickens Elizabeth
that torontosaur's skull was shady. The Florida collector was a
big time liar, in fact, a scammer of bones and
other artifacts. Twenty fourteen, seven years after he bought himself
that torontosaurus skull. The Department of Homeland Security came to
(38:27):
Nicholas Cage's home. They're like, hey, we haven't been here
in a little while now, they formed him. But the
artifact he bought was in fact illegal, and in short,
the dinosaur skull was stolen goods, and that it had
been taken from the Gobi Desert in Mongolia, and the
FEDS would be taking it from him and returning it
to Mongolia, which they.
Speaker 3 (38:44):
Getting terrorism by buying it.
Speaker 2 (38:46):
No, I didn't see any allegations of that. Yeah, but boom,
now Nicholas Cage has to cough up his quarter million
dollar dinosaur skull to the Feds. He does. When he
was later asked about this and about you know, what's
it feel like to lose two hundred and seventy six
thousand dollars for something that you that's like a weird
purchase from a seemingly legitimate auction house, he said, in
the most Nicholas Cage way possible, what is an octopus?
(39:08):
Eighty dollars? You're not gonna go into dire streets buying
an octopus. The dinosaur skull was an unfortunate thing. Because
I did spend two hundred and seventy six thousand dollars
on that. I bought it at a legitimate auction and
found out it was abducted from Mongolia illegally, and then
I had to give it back. Of course it should
be awarded to its country of origin, but who knew.
Plus I never got my money back, so that stank.
(39:31):
But I went years where all I was doing was
meditating three times a day and reading books on philosophy,
not drinking whatsoever. There was the time when I almost
went on you might call it a grail quest. I
started following mythology and I was finding properties that align
with that. It was almost like national treasure. So Nicholas Cage,
he's now fusing fact with fiction, life with movies. He's
(39:52):
living out national treasure in his own life and freely
admitting it. This is what I'm talking about. This is
why this man is amazing. He's just living out his movies.
Our parts anyway. So even of course has to admit
that buying up all the real estate purchases is really
what nearly bankrupted him. Not the dinosaur. He's like two
hundred seventy six thousand dollars versus millions of dollars from
(40:13):
my castle, no one wants to buy.
Speaker 3 (40:14):
In his mind, he got two hundred and seventy six
thousand dollars totally pleasure.
Speaker 2 (40:19):
Yeah, so he says, of course that didn't sustain. On
top of which I said, I'm going to get off
philosophy because I became like a kite with a string
but no anchor. No one could understand what I was
talking about. And I thought people would rather see me
as an orangutan than as an eagle meditating on the mountaintop. Anyway,
that makes sense to me totally. Right now, I would
(40:40):
like not to just skip past the meditating eagle on
the mountaintop versus the orangutan mistaken for Nicholas Cage. But
let's focus on how his collecting and his acting had
already somewhat merged in terms of their value to the
living process we know as Nicholas Cage. So, in a
twenty nineteen interview with The New York Times, Nicholas Cage
tells his interviewer, and I quote, you either have the
pro livity'd open up your imagination or you don't. If
(41:02):
you have that propensity and are on camera about to
do a scene. What would make you believe in what
you were about to do? So you're playing a demon
biker with an ancient spirit. What power objects could you
find that might trick your imagination? Would you find an
antique from an ancient pyramid, maybe a little sarcophagus that's
a greenish color and looks like King Tutt? Would you
(41:23):
sow that into your jacket and know that it's right
next to you? When the director says action, could you
open yourself up to that power? Those aren't rhetorical questions,
are they. That's what the interviewer asked, right, I did that. Yes. Now,
if you're at that point where you've looted antiques from
an ancient pyramid and sown them into your pocket so
you can do better at your job, you are truly
(41:44):
open to the universe.
Speaker 3 (41:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (41:45):
Right. In the movie Mandy, he has this ad libed
line and he quotes to his interviewer about the line.
He mentions it. He says, the psychotic drowns were the
mystic swims. Now that line actually is from Joseph Campbell,
and the original line is the psychotic drowns in the
same waters in which the mystic swims with delight, and
that's how he ended up buying his real estate portfolio.
He was swimming with delight in his two castles in
(42:07):
the Rhode Island Woods and in Las Vegas and La
and elsewhere. His Times interviewer says, oh, okay, I thought
you were being metaphorical about going on a Grail quest.
And then Nicholas Cage, apropos of nothing, says, yeah, if
you go to Glastonbury and go to the Chalice Wall,
there's a spring that does taste like blood. So apparently
at the Chalice Wall in Glastonbury. I've never been there,
(42:28):
but the story goes, Joseph of Arimathea secreted away the
Holy Grail, which is what makes the spring taste like blood. Yeah,
or it could just be an iron ore deposit that
gives it an iron taste, but hey, who am I
to say anyway? Following that same logic, Nicholas Cage tells
his interviewer that's the reason why he bought property in
Rhode Island. Who was chasing Grail legends or well? He said,
and I quote, I don't know if I'm going to
(42:48):
say that's why I bought the Rhode Island property. But
I will say that is why I went to Rhode Island,
and I happened to find the place beautiful. But yes,
this has put me on a search around different areas,
mostly in England, but also someplace in the States. What
I ultimately found is what is the grail? But earth itself?
Speaker 3 (43:05):
A producer Dave, are you familiar with any Rhode Island
holy grail lore?
Speaker 5 (43:10):
I don't think so. I mean, we've got what's his name,
the sci fi writer who's buried in Swan Point Cemetery.
Speaker 3 (43:18):
Oh yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4 (43:19):
Hp Lovecraft.
Speaker 5 (43:21):
Right, we've got Edgar Allan Poe drinking himself to death
courting Sarah Haln Whitman on Benefit Street.
Speaker 2 (43:27):
I don't know any grail lore in Rhode Island.
Speaker 3 (43:29):
That's strange. Yeah, so apparently he's the one who uncovered it.
Speaker 2 (43:33):
The Grail is hidden in Rhode Island or maybe anyway.
The Times interview stays on him about this, and he's
kind of disappointed that Nicholas Cage was spending his time
literally chasing after the Grail, like he's like a movie hero,
and the reporter says, I find the grail quest tend
to be more fulfilling when they're metaphorical. And this is
why why I love Nicholas Cage, he tells this cat, Well,
I knew that, and the metaphor for me is the Earth.
(43:53):
The divine object is Earth. Like that I thought you would,
So there it is, Elizabeth. Nicholas Cage went under request
and he found it planet Earth, and it was good.
But I love this questing mofo. I mean, I already
liked and respected and loved Nicholas Cage, but the story
of him stealing of Bob's Big Boy to win Patricia
Arquet's heart, and him buying a stolen dinosaur skull that
would inadvertently lead him to chase after the Holy Grail,
(44:16):
and then for him to find the whole Earth as
his reward, I mean, come on, I love this cash.
So anyway, he props up to our Bruce Lee of
being intense, the evil Canievil, of acting the Liberachi of lovers.
What's a ridiculous takeaway here, Elizabeth?
Speaker 3 (44:31):
I am so admiring the intensity. And I normally don't
like people.
Speaker 2 (44:38):
I have to tune it down around you.
Speaker 3 (44:40):
You do, and thank you, but no, I just I
usually don't care for that. But it's so intentional and pure,
and he takes he's talking about roles that most actors
would do as a paycheck and maybe not take it
so seriously and get into character in some sense. But
he's so invested in, like not just getting into a
(45:04):
character and the motivations and all of that, but to
truly understand this, this creation, and then how it's gonna
help him understand everything around him, everything in the world.
I really admire that. I love when people just go
all in totally, and he doesn't seem to be doing
that for a performative sense. He is all in that
(45:27):
world and in his world, and so I think that's
really cool. What's your ridiculous takeaway.
Speaker 2 (45:32):
Oh mine, Elizabeth, thank you for asking. Is I like,
how pretty much what you're saying is that you know
he's going to play ghostwriter and he's like, what can
ghostwriter teach me about the human condition?
Speaker 3 (45:43):
Right? Like that would just be a paycheck movie. And
instead he's like, well, someone came up.
Speaker 2 (45:49):
With this, How do I find this soul it's going to.
Speaker 3 (45:51):
In order for it to appeal to the masses, I
need to tap into what kind of catharsis this is
going to provide? Because that's what entertainment is, especially television.
Speaker 2 (46:02):
I can't believe they are a TV person.
Speaker 3 (46:04):
He changes everything, you know, I just feel so free.
Speaker 2 (46:07):
I know you have to move for a talkback, you
still do those?
Speaker 3 (46:09):
I always do.
Speaker 2 (46:10):
Talk Producer D, could you hit us up with the talkback? Wait?
Speaker 5 (46:14):
Wait before we do that, before we wrap up, I
have one question for both of you.
Speaker 2 (46:18):
Sure.
Speaker 5 (46:18):
Yeah, we've gone all this way and you haven't mentioned
the word Copola.
Speaker 4 (46:23):
Isn't there a connection?
Speaker 2 (46:25):
Oh? Yeah, yeah, he's Yeah, he is a nephew of
Francis Ford, and uh he is a cousin of Sophia
and yeah, and also Jason Schwartzman and Roman Coppola and uh,
yeah is cop and his father's August Coppola. Who was
the reason why I chose the film school I went to.
Speaker 3 (46:45):
Is Copola Cage in Italian?
Speaker 2 (46:47):
No, he picked that because of Luke Cage, the Marvel
comic actor. He changed it. He started out acting as
a Copola and then he changed.
Speaker 3 (46:53):
Yeah, I remember there's a film where he's credited.
Speaker 5 (46:57):
So my ridiculous takeaway, thank you both of you for asking,
is uh, you know, I think it takes that kind
of a setup of family connections to have the life,
to allow.
Speaker 4 (47:07):
Yourself to be as weird as Nicholas Cage can.
Speaker 3 (47:10):
Be totally totally.
Speaker 2 (47:12):
Yeah. But Patricia ar Ketch, he comes from a family
that is, uh, you know, multi generational actors, but she
was basically raised in a cultish kind of like alternative
lifestyle environment, and she has just that same confidence. I
think it's more so that your parents have to invest
in you a big story and make you think that
you're special in being the son of somebody like you
know that, or being a Coppola invest you in that story.
(47:34):
So I think you can do it without having to
actually be a NEPO baby. You just have to give
them the same sort of start that a NEPO baby
has in terms of confidence. Obviously, connections help too in
a place like Hollywood, but.
Speaker 4 (47:44):
Yeah, all buy that. I mean, or being a cult without.
Speaker 2 (47:49):
Yeah, so that also helps just you know, be a
cult or a Coppola.
Speaker 3 (47:53):
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2 (47:56):
So about that talk back.
Speaker 5 (47:58):
Oh yeah about that talk, I've got one. I'm gonna
warn you on the outset. It's in five parts, so
like butter.
Speaker 2 (48:10):
Oh God, I led.
Speaker 3 (48:18):
Hi, Elizabeth his Aaron, Hi, Dave.
Speaker 6 (48:21):
Uh So you guys played my talkback and a couple
episodes ago, I'm the one who had the back surgery.
Wanted to let you guys know that I'm actually doing better,
and it's funny. I didn't realize I left you a talkback.
I thought it was all a dream. So it was
very interesting for me to hear my talkback. So thank
(48:46):
you for the well wishes. I really appreciated it. I
actually wanted to tell you about the dream I had
while I was under the anesthesia and I was with
you guys apparently. Full disclaimer, though, I did try to
pretend to be Elizabeth Dutton for a minute, and I
tried to do one of her awesome character voices, but
(49:08):
I could not do it. I tried to be Elizabeth,
but I just couldn't do it. You're too awesome. So
in this anesthesia fueled dream, I was kind of somehow
a part of several different episodes of your podcast, and
I'm sure you can figure out which ones they were.
(49:29):
It was very distressing for me because my favorite aliens,
Elizabeth and Zaren, could not help me write my manifesto.
You guys were also the only aliens I could trust
because the rest of the aliens wanted to assassinate the
president and assassinate Charlie Chaplin, but it was only you
(49:52):
guys who could save the world with me, apparently, and
it was all because Cinderella was late and she wouldn't
write my manifesto. So I honestly have to say I
love your podcast. Thank you for making it so good,
(50:13):
because it really did give me a really great trip
while I was in that hospital. Thank you guys so much.
Speaker 2 (50:20):
Oh man, we're so glad to hear that you're feeling
better and that, yes, that we were there for you
when you need.
Speaker 3 (50:28):
I'm glad that that she's feeling better. But oh my,
I'd love to digest those incredible I love. It doesn't
happen in English, it's translation.
Speaker 2 (50:41):
It's just a name, right, yeah, okay, it's also the
name of a of a wine. So as always, you
can find us online Ridiculous Crime on the social media
if you know where to look. Well, so we have
a website ridiculous Crime dot com. And uh, obviously we
love your talkback, so please go the iHeart app, leave
one and maybe we'll hear yourself on the air. Email
(51:03):
us if you like a Ridiculous Crime at gmail dot
com Please type in dear Elizabeth and as always, thanks
for listening. We'll catch you next crime. Ridiculous Crime is
hosted by Elizabeth Dutton and Zaren Burnette, produced and edited
by Dave. Sorry, boss, but there's only two men I trust.
(51:24):
One of them's me and the others not you. Cousten.
Research is by Patricia Arquette, Truthers, Marissa Brown and Andrea
song Jarpentier. Our theme song is by Thomas I'm gonna
steal the Declaration of Independence Lee and Travis. I'll be
taking these Huggies and whatever cash you got Dutton. The
host wardrobe provided by Botany five hundred. Guest hair and
(51:46):
makeup by Sparklesham and mister Andrea. Executive producers are Ben
I want to take his face off Boldin and I'm
Nicholas Freaking Cage Noel Brown.
Speaker 3 (52:04):
Ridicous Crime, Say It one more Time Ridiqulious Crime.
Speaker 1 (52:10):
Ridiculous Crime is a production of iHeartRadio. Four more podcasts
from iHeartRadio visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever
you listen to your favorite shows
Ridiculous Crime is a production of iHeartRadio.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Elizabeth Dunton, Zaron Burnett. I have a question for you.
Speaker 3 (00:07):
You know that's funny. I have a question for you,
A question for me. Can I tell you what's ridiculous?
Speaker 2 (00:14):
That's ridiculous? I Elizabeth, what's ridiculous?
Speaker 3 (00:18):
Let me tell you? Okay, So you like the Star Wars?
Speaker 2 (00:23):
I do have the War and the Stars?
Speaker 4 (00:25):
Yes you like that?
Speaker 3 (00:26):
Yes, ghetto the who's your favorite Star Wars character?
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Let me think about that for a second. I'm gonna
go with yours, Chewbacca.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
Oh that is my favorite? Going to say Lando cal Worthington,
I Loveca. I know, So, Dave, who's your favorite Star
Wars character?
Speaker 4 (00:49):
I'm gonna go bib for Tuna.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
Okay, Okay, that that's someone in the band.
Speaker 5 (00:56):
He's one of those people that has like the part
of his body, the fleshy part that like wraps.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
All the way around like a growth right his head.
Speaker 4 (01:03):
Yeah. A friend of mine did like a fake.
Speaker 5 (01:07):
It was like I think either Jack Ruby or or
Lee Harvey Oswell being assassinated and they put him in
with like a really shocked expression, and so he became
my favorite.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
That would now it's my favorite.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
There you go.
Speaker 3 (01:22):
I love a good lee Harvey Oswald, you do. So
did you guys? Did you guys like Darth Vader?
Speaker 2 (01:28):
Oh? Actually, yes, probably is my favorite character. You're quite honest.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
Yeah right, I mean, let's let's face I love villains.
So the other part of this is that in our
on our website Ridiculous crime dot com, we have a
listener survey and we ask people to tell us what
their favorite hot sauce. This is true and so favorite
sauce Zaren.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
Zaren Yes, Zaren hot sauce.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
Spicy Zaren Dave favorite hot sauce.
Speaker 5 (01:58):
I'll say reds are a E ed or two d's,
I'm not sure, but you can get it at metunic
Oyster bar u intunic Rhode Island, among other places.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
Oh okay, he's mentioned this before.
Speaker 3 (02:09):
I thanks for asking. I like tiger sauce.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
What's yours?
Speaker 3 (02:13):
Tiger sauce? Or that chili crisp Aniwho? So you take
your Darth Vader? Yeah, and you add your hot sauce
and truffles. Do you guys like truffles of the kind
from the Earth?
Speaker 2 (02:28):
No?
Speaker 3 (02:29):
I hate it, I hate it, hate it. So you
take those three things, and you know what you get?
Star Wars Dark Side Hot Sauce by Truf h really yeah.
You know who you can blame for this, Joanne Oh
from Instagram.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
Oh. I won't blame her personally, did she?
Speaker 3 (02:49):
She seems like a total sweetheart, like a really cool
rude dude totally. But she's the one who passed this personally.
And the interns came to me with devilish looks in
their eyes. It's a dark Side Hot Sauce by Trough
combines fiery ghost peppers with the richness of black winter
truffles in a mix so alluring that it sure to
(03:11):
attempt you to the dark side. It runs anywhere from
eight hundred thousand to a million scovilles.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
Uh huh.
Speaker 3 (03:18):
It's vegan and it's gluten free, so thank god. Okay,
I mean I prefer extra gluten in everything that I consume,
and I.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
Want bacon, grease and everything I consume.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
It's as tribute to Darth Vader's story and legacy is
embodied in a luxurious collectible gift box. Intricate details pay
homage to the ominous allure of the Sith Lord, with
the Imperial crest boldly emerging from the depths of a
smoky veil housed inside Star Wars Dark Side Hot Sauce
is bottled in a sleek matte black bottle crowned with
(03:50):
a cap inspired by the unmistakable helmet of Darth Vader.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
I prefer job of the Hut barbecue sauce.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
Where love's the guy in Spaceball's dark helmet. That's what
I always see when I see these things. So you
can add a dark twist.
Speaker 4 (04:04):
One.
Speaker 3 (04:05):
Level up your spicy chicken. Two, marinate fire grilled meats. Three,
infuse your juacamole with heat.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
Four take over the galaxy with the power of the store.
Speaker 3 (04:14):
Burn a hole in your underpant.
Speaker 5 (04:16):
See you anyway I would use if I were them,
I would say, peel a cap, you know, like it's
Darth Vader's cap.
Speaker 4 (04:21):
And you got the double entendre.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
Oh there it is? Yeah, that is good.
Speaker 3 (04:26):
Can I tell you something that I don't love?
Speaker 2 (04:28):
What don't you love? Elizabeth?
Speaker 3 (04:29):
On this there's a section on the website that says
spill the Tea, and it's their faqswh tea. You know,
we need to get rid of spill the Tea because
it's generally misused The one that has misused the most
is to throw shade.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
Can Can brands just stop trying to use the type
of slang and just go back to hokey language.
Speaker 3 (04:52):
It's not just saying something insultan.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
Yeah, I know, I'm with you.
Speaker 3 (04:55):
Yes, if there's a whole thing investigated, everybody, and then
stop saying it. Yes, Okay, So yeah, that's that's ridiculous.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
Okay, back of a dead drop, Elizabeth.
Speaker 3 (05:06):
Oh my god, I just ripped myself in half.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
You know it's also ridiculous. No, I knew you didn't.
That's why I'm here.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
I don't know nothing.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
I have a sequel to a Ridiculous Crime story I
like that starring Nicholas Cage and Patricia Arquette.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
Get out of here now, I will not you. You
get right on out.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
This is Ridiculous Crime, a podcast about absurd and outrageous capers, heists,
and cons. It's ahlways ninety nine percent murder free a
and one hundred percent ridiculous.
Speaker 3 (06:04):
Spicy Oh Elizabeth Zaren Oh Zaren Dutton.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
Elizabeth Burnette. This story is a sequel, as I just
told you a squeal. Yes, but it's a sequel to
my Bob's Big Boy story.
Speaker 3 (06:17):
Whoa, this is immediate quick right, boom.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
Working fast in Hollywood to hold the audience.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
I like that.
Speaker 4 (06:24):
Well.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
I read about this one after I told you that one,
and boom, I knew I had to tell you this
one too. So here we go Bob's Big Boy too.
Boom me all right, Elizabeth, Today I want to tell
you a story about Bob's Big Boy. One of my
favorite people on the planet, Nicholas Cage.
Speaker 3 (06:39):
I thought it was the second.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
No, he's no longer on the planet. In the planet,
I guess that's true, Nicholas Cage. Yes, one of my
favorite people on the planet. Also one of my other
favorite people on the planet, Patricia Arquette.
Speaker 3 (06:54):
Oh, I had no idea that these are some of
your face.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
I know why I love like weirdos.
Speaker 3 (06:59):
Oh yeah, that's true.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
Right, they're both great weirdos, like honest earnest wardos. Not
precious people. You performative, totally just weird of their cores.
Speaker 3 (07:06):
Yeah, I can't stand performative weirdo.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
From the jump, I think I'm.
Speaker 3 (07:11):
A little bit of a weirdo.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
You are a weirdo, thank god. So do you like
them both? Do you have any sure you don't have
a strong opinions.
Speaker 3 (07:19):
I'm not like you. I don't have a shrine in
my home to these people.
Speaker 2 (07:22):
I gotta do something with all those candles.
Speaker 3 (07:25):
I know it's a fire hazard.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
What's your favorite partia or cat movie?
Speaker 3 (07:29):
Why do you do this?
Speaker 2 (07:31):
Mine's obviously true romance. Every time I've mentioned this before,
every time.
Speaker 3 (07:34):
You ask me these questions, yea, my mind blans like I've.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
Never watched Who's Patrician?
Speaker 3 (07:40):
Okay, I'll tell you. My favorite of her performances was
when she played the Lady of the Night on Law
and Order SVU. Oh yes, And I have to make
a confession.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
You watch television.
Speaker 3 (07:53):
I watch so much television, Like I watch so much
television subsceed and I've to lie on you.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
You really come and clean to I really am.
Speaker 3 (08:07):
And it's I was going to do this as of
what's ridiculous, but I've chickened out. But right now I
feel like I'm I'm in a safe place.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
You are lower the lights.
Speaker 3 (08:17):
So much television. It is disgusting. I watch a lot.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
Is there anything else you want to tell us? I
mean this is blowing.
Speaker 3 (08:25):
Yeah, no, I really this was really cleansing and I'm
feeling a lot better. But yeah, Patricia Arquette is the
hooker on SVU.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
Are you really no? Are you really a brunette?
Speaker 3 (08:35):
I'm My ethnicity is Californian.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
Okay, I know, so I'm just checking. Yeah, wow, you
watch TV. I have so much to talk to you about.
Speaker 3 (08:44):
I know you know.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
Okay. Well, Patricia Arquette a performance I love. I'll just
give you an example. Flirting with Disaster. Do you remember
this movie? You've seen this movie? Do you watch movies?
Speaker 3 (08:55):
I do. I watch it. I watch every I don't
watch TikTok or YouTube, but I watch. I love television.
I have cable television, oh my godness, and the streams.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
Where are you? You're a wire plugger? I am not
a wire cutter.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
I am plugged into absolutely every outlet in my home. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
Well, the movie Flirting with Disaster, if you are familiar
with it, I'll just give you a brief rundown for
producer Dave in case he doesn't know it. Ben Stiller
and his wife Patricia Arquette. Right, they go on this
cross country quest to find his birth parents. Now he's adopted, obviously,
so his adoptive parents are Mary Tyler Moore and George Sigall.
(09:33):
Oh that's an interesting, interesting pair, right. I love Mary
Tyler Moore and I love George Sagall too. His birth
parents are Lily Tomlin and Alan Alda. No, right, it's semest.
And then they're like they play these off the grid
like former hippies who are still making acid, like in
New Mexico.
Speaker 3 (09:48):
Yeah, yeah, yeah right.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
And Richard Jenkins if you remember him, he's in it.
He's an actor who's great and in anything.
Speaker 4 (09:53):
Rhode Islander, total shout out.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
He plays an ATF agent and at some point he
does acid. So Richard Jenkins on acid, that's just amazing.
And then Josh Brolin is his partner. I mean, you're
just like, what, And so I don't want to ruin it,
but it's this amazing film. No one seems to talk
about it, so there you go talking. I'm talking about
it all the time. Patricia ar Kut's in it, so
she's the moral center of that movie. And anyway, whatever,
go check out out if you like. Yeah, if you
(10:17):
like movies, you like to laugh. Yeah, And of course
I'd be remiss if I didn't at least just reasily
touch upon a couple of Nicholas Cage performances, right, I mean, here,
I'll list a couple to jump start your memory. You
tell me what your favorite Nicholas Cage performance is, m
or No, let's go with your third favorite. Okay, okay,
Raising Arizona, Yeah, hi, mcdona, Moonstruck he plays Ronnie the
(10:39):
one handed baker. Peggy Sue got married, he plays the
teen honeymoon in Las Vegas.
Speaker 3 (10:46):
The Rock Oh yeah, con Air yep.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
Face sauce of Yeah, National Treasure one and two. Yes,
I mean I could keep going on. We have so
much time. But what's your third favorite Nicholas Cage movie performance?
Speaker 3 (10:58):
The one where he plays himself with Pedro Pascal.
Speaker 2 (11:01):
Wow, that's actually the answer. I was going to tell
you there was a trick question, Elizabeth. The correct answer
is The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent, the new one
with Pedro Pascal where he plays Nick Cage.
Speaker 3 (11:13):
That's a great movie.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
I mean, he is the perfect casting for Nick Cage.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
Yeah, he really is.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
So as soon as you hear the words Nick Cage
immediately began to imagine this outsize performance in a movie, right,
I mean, he's just pretty much known for that. But
can we talk about his outsize performance in life? Sure?
Speaker 3 (11:27):
Oh yeah, he's had issues.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
Yeah, no dog is that. But I mean he is
full tilt Nick Cage all the time. He's just going,
but not like a bonk bonk click where it's like,
you know Gary Busey, Yeah, Gary Busey, Christpin Gover. They
make you a little nervous to be riding shotgun in
the car with him or Nick Cage. I'm like, nothing's
going to happen. I'm a Nick Cage.
Speaker 3 (11:44):
There's no governor on him.
Speaker 2 (11:46):
Yes, exactly so in an interview, and this is very recent,
he spoke with GQ in twenty twenty two. They did
a feature on him and he spoke with the writer
at Gabriella Payea, great writer, and she went to his
place in Las Vegae and she got this quote. This
is up towards the top. It's like basically the lead
and Nicholas and I quote Nicholas Cage greets me at
(12:07):
his door wearing a kung fu suit. This is my
wing chung kung Fu suit, he explains, waving me in
and handing me a mug of coffee. I studied with
my seafoo Jim Law when I was twelve years old
because I was a big Bruce Lee fan, So it's
like my uniform to relax in. At the time, he
was fifty eight years old, Elizabeth just living his best
life in his like you know, ghee, hanging out drinking coffee.
(12:31):
All right, So Nicholas Cage, do you know, as he's
pointed out, he does some bonkers things, right, Like he
has bought not one, but two castles in Europe.
Speaker 3 (12:41):
Yeah, doesn't he have a dinosaur?
Speaker 4 (12:42):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (12:43):
Oh yeah, totally, also has the most haunted house in America.
It's like, in quotes, the most haunted house in America.
Speaker 3 (12:48):
Really.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
He also once owned a Lamborghini that belonged to the
Shah of Iran. He also bought a two headed snake.
Oh no, he dreamed about the snake. Yes, sorry, he
dreamed about a two headed eagle, so I guess he
was dreaming about the flag of Albania. Anyway, he wakes
up someone calls him offering him to sell him a
two headed snake. He's like, this is a something.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
All day long, his phone rings with people offering to
sell him an oddity.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
Totally.
Speaker 3 (13:13):
He has a dedicated phone.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
Like he buys the snake for eighty grande. He then
later donates it to the Audubon Zoo. Why did he
give it to the zoo because he found feeding the
snakes to be a bit depressing, Because, you see, Elizabeth,
he had to shove a spatula between the snake's two
heads so they wouldn't fight over the food to feed
the same body. It was a lot for him to hand.
It was just like anyway. He also had a pair
(13:37):
of albino cobras. They were like acting teachers to him
that they inspired his performance in ghost Rider.
Speaker 3 (13:44):
Stop.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
I swear to god. He said that, Elizabeth, how amazing
would it be to hang out with Nicholas Cage just
for like a weekend?
Speaker 3 (13:49):
I was super amazing. See how far apart I'm holding
my arm.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
I can't see them. They're so far apart. So about
our story of the day. Do you remember when Nicholas
Cage and Patricia Arquette were one married?
Speaker 3 (14:00):
Vaguely?
Speaker 2 (14:01):
Yeah? Yeah, it lasted not long.
Speaker 3 (14:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
While they were married, do you know they lived in
a mansion in bel Air built in nineteen forty five.
That makes sense, but not just any mansion, as Nicholas
Cage put it. At the time, and I quote it
was Dean Martin's house, and I like to imagine the
parties that probably went on there with Dino Sinatra and
the rat Pack, you know at the bar. Oh boy,
can you imagine the parties that that house has seen.
First you have the rat Pack, then you have Nicholas Cage.
Speaker 3 (14:26):
If those I'm telling you right.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
So anyway, uptop, I was speaking of Ben Stiller going
on a quest in that movie Flirting with Disaster, which
again you should watch, and I said that movie also
stars Patricia arqutt Yeah, right, so pulling that all together,
going on a quest Patricia Arquette. Have you ever heard
of the story about Nicholas Cage and Patricia Arqutte how
they got married. No, okay, it's truly a beautiful love story,
(14:49):
and it's so fitting for both of them, right, Nick
Cage and Purtrisi Arquette, because long story short, she sent
him on a quest.
Speaker 3 (14:56):
I love that. I don't even know what it is,
but I love it.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
Back up, but let's do this more like a movie. Okay,
let's start with their meat cute. It was the late
eighties Elizabeth nineteen eighty seven to be exact, at the time,
Patricia Arquette was nineteen years old, Nicholas Cage was twenty
three years old. She was at Canters in West Hollywood.
That's the Jewish deli on Fairfax Love that. She's yeah,
great place, right, She's in there working on a corn
beef sandwich.
Speaker 3 (15:19):
Or whatever, putting their going to town.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
Yeah, seriously, going get me another one of those pickles
they have, all right, and uh boom in walks Nicholas
Cage and Crisp and Glover, who you're a man, they're
best friends. Imagine the two of them just rolling around
you many. Yeah, so they're friends and they now can
you imagine hanging out with them in nineteen eighty seven? Anyway,
they two friends. They walk into Canters, they see Patricia Arquette,
(15:43):
They go over, they sit with her.
Speaker 3 (15:44):
I would have been very young. Yes, you had a
lot of drugs, you know, youngest speed freak. Anyway, go ahead,
So they go over.
Speaker 2 (15:54):
And they talk with her, and then she invites them
to sit down, or they invite themselves, I don't know.
They sit with her, they start learning to start having fun. Eventually,
Crispin Glover he tells her, I want to marry you, right,
and she's like, oh, that's cute, right, and then Hero,
I'll just let Patricia Arquette put it. She says, I
met him and Crispin Glover in a restaurant and Christmas said,
I'm gonna marry you and Nick said, no, I'm gonna
(16:17):
marry you. Now it's a competition, right, So naturally she's like, okay, yeah,
that's not happening. But Nicholas Cage was like, and I quote,
I will prove I am worthy of your love. So
back to Patricia Arkette's version of the story, he said
give me a quest. I thought he was joking, Elizabeth.
Nicholas Cage was not joking.
Speaker 3 (16:37):
Now when he says give me a quest, that man
means business.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
Oh yeah, Nicholas Cage is never joking, especially about love. No,
So back to Patty Arquette, and Nick said, give me
a list of ten things, like a quest, and I'll
get all these things and then you'll marry me.
Speaker 3 (16:51):
Okay, love this.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
I figure what your reaction to a man saying.
Speaker 3 (16:56):
Give me a question a quest, And then she's like,
I'll consider it. Yeah, Well, Patricia, she gets to decide
the quest totally.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
So she back to her She picks up the story.
So I wrote, all these things that I thought were
impossible to get, getting JD. Salinger's autograph, a Hill Tribe
wedding costume, steal me a Bob's Big Boy statue, like
all of these things. I was laughing, A black orchid,
all of these things off the top of her. Yeah,
(17:25):
just comes up with a list of them possible at
the Canners DELI.
Speaker 3 (17:28):
Oh god.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
So she also she says, you wanted a caddy size
piece of fiberglass sculpture. It's a quote. Yeah, yeah, now
that the the Hill Tribe wedding costume. I kind of
skipped past that. That was a very specific request. Patricia
Rick had later clarified that she wanted a quote wedding
dress from the Lesu tribe in Southeast Asia. So that's
what she told him. So we don't know the full
(17:51):
list of all ten items, but what we do know
that was included was this one a wedding dress from
the Lisu tribe in Southeast Asia. Two a caddy size
peace fiberglass sculpture. Three getting a JD. Salinger autograph. Four
steal me a Bob's Big Boy statue. Five a black orchid.
So that's basically half the list, the original list. It's
(18:12):
been lost in time. It was publishing something that's no
longer available online. So I gathered all the people who
quoted from this, and this is all we have, right.
So Patricia Arquette, she recalls and I quote. I gave
him a list of all these things to fined, and
he started doing them. Now, from what I found, I'm
not sure the order of the items he brought her.
Some stories reported one item came in first. Other stories
would change the order. My favorite version goes though Nicholas
(18:33):
Cage showed up at Patricia Arquette's house with the first item, JD.
Salinger's autograph.
Speaker 3 (18:38):
I feel like that would probably be the easiest.
Speaker 2 (18:40):
To really why, Oh you're so smart, I'm not gonna
go and yeah, I'm over here right. She considered this
I impossible to retrieve object because as you know, he's
a very famous record. So everyone's thinking, like getting an
autograph and then would be impossible or damn near impossible
to do, right, Nick Lucas Cage, But does he go
out and go like, you know, full National Tree measure.
(19:00):
I'm gonna go and steal JD. Saladar's autograph, which is
my expectation. Freak. He did it like you the smart way.
He's like, I'm rich enough to go buy this.
Speaker 3 (19:08):
To have signed that books.
Speaker 2 (19:10):
Yes, exactly. So he purchased a letter that had his
signature eyes. So he bought it twenty five hundred dollars.
Day one, he shows up because the kid he was
a collector from the from the early days. Like I said,
he was always weirded. She already had a collector guy
he could contact. He's like, hey, you're my letter guy.
What do you have red phone? Exactly. So, day one
(19:30):
of his quests, he rocks up to Patricia Kat's house
with that first item. She's outside. What's she doing? Oh
you know, she's just playing hopscotch with her girlfriends.
Speaker 3 (19:37):
Are you kidding?
Speaker 2 (19:38):
Sorry to god, so the love this so much. Big
Cage rides up, I'm assuming on a motorcycle. He drops
off the letter in a cigar box. He says nothing
to her, then he rides off.
Speaker 3 (19:48):
Wait this is These are the greatest people on earth
because it's not precious and performing, it's just they're so pure.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
Yes, my god, what are her friends thinking? Like you
have a guy going on a question to prove his
love to you.
Speaker 3 (20:02):
Amazing.
Speaker 2 (20:02):
Your girlfriend's gotten stoked on that, right, Okay, So let's
take a little break and after these messages we'll get
back to the love quest. And we're back Elizabeth. So
(20:31):
what are you thinking so far? You're digging our little and.
Speaker 3 (20:34):
Loving this so much. I really am, I really, I'm
loving the image of her playing hopscotch with her friends.
It's just incredible.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
And then her new bow rides out.
Speaker 3 (20:43):
Yeah, and he violently passes her a cigar box. Which
cigar boxes are cooler. It's the greatest way to get something.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
Great way to get small, like a letter. Perfect. Okay.
So day two rolls around, So, just like on day one,
Nicholas Cage shows back up a Patricia Arcat's house. He
rides up on his motorcycle. This time we know for certain.
And as Nick Cage told Playboy back in nineteen ninety six,
quote she wouldn't come out, but I could see her
peeking down from the top floor. She confirms his account
(21:12):
because Patricia Arcutt recalled the same story. She said, quote,
I peek out the window and there he is with
a purple orchid and a black spray paint can and
he's spraying it. She'd asked for a black orchid, right,
but that doesn't exist. You cannot find a black orchid.
So it's truly as an impossible object. So Nicholas Cage,
he doesn't Nicolose Cage thing. He improvised. So, and I quote,
(21:32):
in my very showy way, I whipped the orchid out
of my pocket. Then I whipped out the paint can
it started spray painting the orchid black. Then he goes
and he walks up to the front door of her house.
I rang the doorbell again and she came down. I
just gave it to her, and I got back on
my motorcycle and I left. So once again, doesn't he
says nothing, just ride to away like that.
Speaker 3 (21:51):
He didn't spray it and then bring it over like
to let her see. Yeah, oh that's so good.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
So Nicholas Cage's uncanny ability to rise to her weirdly
specific challenges is winning him some points with Patricia Arcuat
right as she put it, and I quote, I asked
for a black orchid from the jungles of Peru or
Brazil or something, and he spray pnded me in orchid.
It was very romantic. However, he remembers it a little
differently because Nicholas Cage adds she was freaked out. So
(22:21):
now it's it's day three. She's wondering what to expect
now on day three, and he's got to be thinking
of the next item on her list that he can
get for, probably locally. So I don't know if this
actually was on day three. I couldn't find that to
cut for confirmation. But soon enough he contacts her. This
time he speaks to her right. He calls her and
he tells her, I almost got the Bob's Big Boy
(22:43):
last night. But then, as we've covered, he found that
the Bob's Big Boy statue was chained to its pedestal.
So Nicholas Cage he has a plan for that, so
he informs her, I'm gonna go back tonight with the
right tools. What are the right tools to Nicholas Cage
Bob's Big Boy heist? Turns out he was gonna bring
a chainsaw and just wreck some shop. He's like, cut
(23:06):
that baby right off. Can you imagine the news story
that would have come out if he got caught chainsaw
in hand cutting down to Bob's Big Boy and like Burbank.
Speaker 3 (23:14):
This is like pre internet.
Speaker 2 (23:16):
Oh yeah, totally. But even though I mean, if him
telling the cops like I'm doing this for love, he's
got the chainsaw and he's cutting down Big Boy.
Speaker 3 (23:22):
Then his agent makes him do the apology interview and people.
Speaker 2 (23:26):
Exactly and an InStyle. So okay. At this point, uh,
Nick Cage, he tells her about the chainsaw, He tells
her about the Bob's Big Boy statue in his plans,
and Patricia Arquette recalls and I quote and then so
he was like, and you're gonna marry me soon. So
finally she realizes how far down the road she's traveling
with him, and she tells Andy Cohen and Shania Twain
(23:48):
on Andy Cohen's chat show, and I was like, no, man,
we've never even gone out on a date. Let's slow
it down. So she has to tell Nick Cage. I
was like, okay, stop, let's just date maybe and not
get married. So at this point, after hearing all this,
Nicholas Cage is willing to slow it down.
Speaker 3 (24:04):
Of course, participating in courtship like in the days of
oles exactly.
Speaker 2 (24:09):
Yeah, chivalrous, totally. It's very much one of the great romances.
You gonna hear the minstrel.
Speaker 3 (24:14):
Playing I Love a Good Quest.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
As Patty Arkatt tells it. Then we dated, right, so
now we got our cute montage for our rom com
Oh right. The parent they planned to run away to
Cuba for their first date.
Speaker 3 (24:26):
Wait, I am so excited because I was thinking, like,
where would they go on to do?
Speaker 2 (24:30):
Exactly They're going to somewhere with trade relations with America
or an extradition treaty. So the couple, they only make
it as far as Mexican.
Speaker 3 (24:41):
They have to dip down.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
Well, apparently the details are hazy, but apparently he went
full Nicholas Cage in an airport in Mexico. There is
some trouble about their tickets, and then Nicholas Cage had
a full on meltdown and they're like, go back to America.
Speaker 3 (24:53):
It never solves anything, No.
Speaker 2 (24:56):
And it was a bit too much for Patricia ar
Cat too right, So they returned to America, as she
told Andy Cohne and Shania Twain. And then when I
think we broke up, it was just too fast and
too much for me at that time. I was nineteen, right,
so well, she saw.
Speaker 3 (25:09):
The red flag, don't see the red flags.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
Ye splashing anger like that. Yeah, major intensity. Anyway, time
came and erased those unpleasant memories for her. She had
a change of heart because, as she put it, and
then many years went by and we were friendly. And
in March of nineteen ninety five, Nicholas Cage went into
Canter's Deli. He was about two am. And guess who
was sitting there all alone? Crispin Glover. No, it was
(25:34):
Chrispin Glover. I'm going to marry you. Chrispin Glover said
to him, No, I'm gonna marry you.
Speaker 3 (25:39):
She stood up and said, I can kick.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
So it was Patricia Harkett sitting alone at two am
in Canters. At this point, she's now twenty seven. Nicholas
Cage is thirty one, and so he says, Hi, So
did she? They sit, They chalk, they flirt, they laugh.
She felt that they had both changed, right, they've grown.
Patricia Katt also says she spent many years in search
of quote, an honorable, truthful, brave man. And she recalled
(26:05):
this man who went on a quest to win her
hand in marriage, and as she later told The New
York Times, he was on my mind. I needed to
be reassured that the depth of his love would be
as brave as before. And so now a little while later,
she decided maybe she was wrong about Nicholas Cage. And
then I called him and I said, okay, I'm ready
to get married for their second go round. She was
(26:27):
the one to propose this time, so, as Nicholas Stage
recalls in an interview with Rolling Stone, and I quote
when she showed up in my house dressed head to
toe in black vinyl, carrying a big purple wedding cake.
I knew I was with the right woman.
Speaker 3 (26:42):
So there were zero dates.
Speaker 2 (26:44):
I'll be the I think they were skipping past that.
There was some days before we got to the all blacks.
The purple wedding cake.
Speaker 3 (26:51):
Incredible.
Speaker 4 (26:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:52):
So she's standing there on his front doorstep and she's
trying to get out the words like this is how
I picture it. Like. She's like, I love you, you you
complete me, and I just Nicholas Cage listening during interrupts
and puts up a finger, shut up, just shut up.
You had me at hello.
Speaker 3 (27:06):
I wish I could see that in the movie with
your boyfriend.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
Now that these two young lovers have refound each other,
proclaim their love and their devotion for each other based
on what you know of them both. Can you imagine
the wedding of Nicholas cage of Patricia Arcat?
Speaker 3 (27:23):
Oh my god?
Speaker 2 (27:25):
Right, But you don't have to, Elizabeth, because I'd like
you to close.
Speaker 3 (27:28):
Your eyes are already closed, and i'd like you to
picture I have already pictured.
Speaker 2 (27:35):
Elizabeth. Do you hear that the sound of waves softly
crashing against the sandy beaches of Carmel, California? Do you
feel that the sea spray in the midst of the
shore on your fuzzy face, the warmth of the sunlight
breaking through the clouds overhead and warming you as you
bob and float among a celp bed in the Monterey bed. You, Elizabeth,
(27:58):
are a California Sea God, thank you, and you are
taking a nap. But your buoyant slumber has disturbed when
you hear the dulcet engine sound of a Ferrari pull
up and stop in the gravel. This catches your attention.
You wipe sleep from your fuzzy eyes and look up
in the direction of the well engineered car noise. You
see a blue Ferrari. A man in a dark suit
(28:20):
gets out the man in the Ferrari are both up
on a bluff overlooking the Pacific coast. You can see
them and they can see you. But the man is
not looking down at the ocean. Instead, he's walking around
to open the door for his passenger. As you gracefully
float among the bull kelp, you gaze up at the
bluff to keep an eye on what these kooky humans
and the blue Ferrari are doing. A couple other cars
(28:41):
pull up in part so now you and a few
other otters, who have also taken note of the party
of humans, all watch to see what comes next. The
small party of humans starts to gather on the bluff.
You don't know this because you're an otter, but one
of the humans is the former chief of Police of Carmel.
Another a minister, a lady preacher, Elizabeth. The man in
(29:03):
the dark suit stands before the lady preacher. Next to
him stands a woman in a leopard print jacket. The
couple look happy. You can see their wide smiles from
where you lays among the kelp. You've never been to
a human wedding before. This is your first, and it
is a doozy Welcome to the wedding of Nicholas Cage
and Patricia Arquette. You and the other sea otters are
some of the very few witnesses. All in all, the
(29:26):
wedding seems like a nice affair. This is what their
love quest has led to. This is the hero's reward.
The ceremony is short. It lasts a brief ten minutes.
The couple stands in the sun and the breeze. Their
love seems so real and so lasting. You find your
rooting for these two crazy kids as you watch the
newly pronounced husband and wife climb back into that blue Ferrari.
(29:47):
The Italian sports car speeds off, headed down the coast
towards Big Sir, look at you, lucky witness to the
Patricia Arkhead Nicholas Cage nuptials.
Speaker 3 (30:00):
That was awesome now, it was.
Speaker 2 (30:01):
Patricia Arquette told Andy Cohen and Shania Twain quote, we
hadn't slept together for eight years until our wedding night.
So after hearing all about their long, strange love affair
and then their wedding night, Jitters, Shania Twain says, that's
very romantic, and Patricia Arqutt agrees that was very romantic.
Speaker 3 (30:18):
I thought Shania Twain was going to say that don't impress.
Speaker 2 (30:20):
Me, right, I was so praying for.
Speaker 3 (30:25):
Didn't do it?
Speaker 2 (30:26):
Now, after all those years and all this task from
the aforementioned love quest, these two crazy kids finally found
a way to make a go of it. For a
little while. It was intense, it was passionate. Their marriage
a brightly burning fire, and naturally it burned out, like
all things which consumed themselves in flames. They were married
Elizabeth in nineteen ninety five, but separated in January of
nineteen ninety six. They technically remained married on the books
(30:48):
though for years, finally divorcing in two thousand. Oh wow, yeah,
so our Kett later would tell Rolling Stone the couple
separation was due to the fact that quote, his success
was very scary to me. I couldn't touch him. I mean,
I would think her reason was that Nicholas Cage was
absolutely unhinged. She's like, it's his success. I did not
expect that. So what about after their divorce? Who got
(31:09):
to keep the JD. Salinger letter? Yeah, that's what Andy
Cohen and Shania Twain both wanted to know. That was
their first question. They're like, yeah, what happened with the
Challenger letter. I know anyway, Patricia Arquett says, and I quote,
I returned that to him. I never thought he'd get it,
like I think she never thought he'd actually retreat.
Speaker 3 (31:27):
I think she's probably not the kind of collector.
Speaker 2 (31:30):
No, he's the collector about that. So as for Nicholas Cage,
when he speaks at that time in his life, he
said of his past self, quote, back then, I was
living out my fantasies of what I thought an exciting
man should be. I wanted to be unpredictable and frightening,
and I guess I was. I mean, Patricia says that
at the time, I was pure testosterone. I can't really
(31:52):
imagine myself getting that angry now. I haven't punched a
wall in years, so I don't really know what happened.
I mean, should I be punching walls? No, Nicholas, you
should not be punching A wild good way to break
your hand, in an even better way to scare the
people who love you. So as for the whirlwind love
that they felt at the time, Patricia Arquett also said,
and I quote, there's nothing like creativity and young love.
(32:14):
That's why we have a species. I don't really hate
any period of the human experience. I've dealt with a
lot of death, and loving a lot of people through
their dying time, and loving other people through their birthing time,
and being out a lot of births, and being young
and beautiful and not even understanding that, and then getting
older and becoming invisible for a period of time, and
then loving that and getting wiser and knowing which battles
to fight. I'm really loving this whole, painful, joyful ride
(32:36):
of life. I think you have to have that attitude
if you want to go in any relationship with age. Yeah,
but in general. But I'm saying, but he's really going
to test you. But if you have this in life,
you're golden.
Speaker 3 (32:47):
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2 (32:48):
So after their time together and they went their separate ways,
Nicholas Kate continued Elizabeth with his quests, and he even
managed to get into legal trouble again, only this time
what he ended up with ilegally was far more valuable.
Well then a Bob's big boy statue.
Speaker 3 (33:02):
We'll be back such a thing.
Speaker 2 (33:03):
Oh yeah, I swear We'll be right back. With Nicholas
Cage's other illegal quests. After these bright messages and we're back, Elizabeth,
(33:29):
You're back, I know right? Ready for one more? Nicholas
Cage quest Always in two thousand and seven, there was
a dinosaur skull for sale at an auction you y
I have? It was a Torontosaurus bitar, which is like
a kissing cousin of a Torontosaurus rex. The enormous Torontosaurus
dinosaur skull was billed as quote perfect for a New
(33:50):
York City apartment.
Speaker 3 (33:52):
Wait by whom?
Speaker 2 (33:55):
An auction house? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (33:58):
Can you imagine you work at this auction hus and
you have to write the copy.
Speaker 2 (34:02):
For the catalog perfect for a New York City of park.
Speaker 3 (34:05):
How am I going to describe this on rock? Bigger
than a bread box?
Speaker 6 (34:09):
Shoot?
Speaker 3 (34:10):
No, that's not going to work.
Speaker 2 (34:11):
Draft eight goes well with a gogin No starting bid
one hundred grand?
Speaker 3 (34:18):
Wow?
Speaker 2 (34:19):
Yeah. There were three hundred and forty five items for
sale in this auction. According to the New York Times,
the list of items up forbidding included and I quote
an Egyptian mummy's hand, a person's hand, Elizabeth.
Speaker 4 (34:31):
A whole hand?
Speaker 3 (34:32):
Horrible all right?
Speaker 2 (34:33):
Next, a lion, hyena and warthog skulls followed by a
gold nugget weighing sixty two troy ounces and behind glass
but touchable on request, crystals, minerals, and a meteorite from Mars,
But the bell of the ball was the Torontosaurus batar skull.
As The New York Times reported quote, The skull, estimated
(34:54):
to be about sixty seven million years old, is thirty
two inches long and sixty five sent complete, with the
rest of it, including the lower right jaw in the
back of the skull, having been restored with casts, said
David Hrskowitz, the director of the Gallery's Natural History department.
Speaker 3 (35:11):
Was it legally, like I've talked about this.
Speaker 2 (35:17):
Yes, of course. Now you might wonder was this legally obtained?
And that's a good question. I think you know the answer. Yeah,
I think so, Herskowitz. He said he come into possession
of this specimen last summer. He's like, I got it
last summer. It's cool, man, I just recently got this.
I'm just trying to move in. Collector in Florida had
apparently contacted them with the rare find Why Florida because
(35:40):
it clearly wasn't found there, right, So I went, does
Florida come into it? Well, turns out, as the batar
might indicate, the skull was located in Mongolian bitar, right,
so excavated there and it wasn't fully freed from the rocks.
So according to the Florida collector, he purchased this Trontosaurus
skull from a Japanese collector. You don't know him. He
goes to different school, and he kept the skull in
(36:02):
a block of unhewn rock, and he'd put the dinosaur
head in a display box back in like the nineteen sixties.
And eventually sells this to the Florida collector, who and
then turns sells it to the auction house, who and
then turns it sells it to an unknown buyer.
Speaker 3 (36:14):
Interesting to the alleged probanance, I thought it was with Florida.
I'm imagining it's like South Florida. I thought it would
be like a Russian oligar.
Speaker 2 (36:23):
Yeah. Actually I cannot tell you who the person is,
but I don't think they're a rausianal oligar. But anyway,
I wish I could had that information for you. Ay,
let's pretend they were. So the torontosaurs buitar skull was
put up on the auction block. It was the subject
of a rather mighty fight amongst bidders. Sure was finally
sold to quote a bit of two hundred and seventy
six thousand dollars phoned in by a private collector on
(36:46):
the West coast from the gallery would not identify the skull.
This skull was the big ticket sale of the auction. Elizabeth.
Speaker 3 (36:53):
This is supposed to be for a New York apartment.
Speaker 2 (36:58):
The same mystery bidder also one quote a rare giant
wolf skull from the Rancho Librea formation. Sale price fifty
thousand dollars. So this mystery buyer, they've dropped three hundred
and twenty six thousand dollars and a dinosaur skull and
a wolf skull. It's long than alleged. The big loser
that day was Leonardo DiCaprio. He was bidding on this
Torontosaurus bitar skull and he ultimately lost out to Nicholas Cave.
Speaker 3 (37:21):
You know where the big loser was that day? Science?
Speaker 2 (37:25):
A lot of people said that, a lot of people
said that, yes, curatorial process. Yeah, So of course it
was Nick Cage who wanted a rare dino head and
a prehistoric wolf skull and was willing to drop more
than a quarter million dollars to get it. Now, it
kind of makes perfect sense because he was buying all
this real estate at the time. Remember he had the
two castles, and I'm sure if you you know, if
you buy two castles, right, you show up and all
(37:45):
of a sudden, like let's say it's an impulse purchase, right,
and then you get the keys to your new castle
or new two U castle, and you walk in you realize,
oh my god, they took away all this stuff for like, yeah,
the staging my castle, the Knight's armor, Yeah, you got it,
like all of a sudden, phill up a whole castle
with of course, you're like, I need a dinosaur skull.
I'm gonna probably need a wolf scull, and I'm in the.
Speaker 3 (38:04):
Guess there's not a home goods within one hundred miles.
Speaker 2 (38:07):
Probably not. It turns out Leonardo DiCaprio got lucky by
losing out on that day because the plot thickens Elizabeth
that torontosaur's skull was shady. The Florida collector was a
big time liar, in fact, a scammer of bones and
other artifacts. Twenty fourteen, seven years after he bought himself
that torontosaurus skull. The Department of Homeland Security came to
(38:27):
Nicholas Cage's home. They're like, hey, we haven't been here
in a little while now, they formed him. But the
artifact he bought was in fact illegal, and in short,
the dinosaur skull was stolen goods, and that it had
been taken from the Gobi Desert in Mongolia, and the
FEDS would be taking it from him and returning it
to Mongolia, which they.
Speaker 3 (38:44):
Getting terrorism by buying it.
Speaker 2 (38:46):
No, I didn't see any allegations of that. Yeah, but boom,
now Nicholas Cage has to cough up his quarter million
dollar dinosaur skull to the Feds. He does. When he
was later asked about this and about you know, what's
it feel like to lose two hundred and seventy six
thousand dollars for something that you that's like a weird
purchase from a seemingly legitimate auction house, he said, in
the most Nicholas Cage way possible, what is an octopus?
(39:08):
Eighty dollars? You're not gonna go into dire streets buying
an octopus. The dinosaur skull was an unfortunate thing. Because
I did spend two hundred and seventy six thousand dollars
on that. I bought it at a legitimate auction and
found out it was abducted from Mongolia illegally, and then
I had to give it back. Of course it should
be awarded to its country of origin, but who knew.
Plus I never got my money back, so that stank.
(39:31):
But I went years where all I was doing was
meditating three times a day and reading books on philosophy,
not drinking whatsoever. There was the time when I almost
went on you might call it a grail quest. I
started following mythology and I was finding properties that align
with that. It was almost like national treasure. So Nicholas Cage,
he's now fusing fact with fiction, life with movies. He's
(39:52):
living out national treasure in his own life and freely
admitting it. This is what I'm talking about. This is
why this man is amazing. He's just living out his movies.
Our parts anyway. So even of course has to admit
that buying up all the real estate purchases is really
what nearly bankrupted him. Not the dinosaur. He's like two
hundred seventy six thousand dollars versus millions of dollars from
(40:13):
my castle, no one wants to buy.
Speaker 3 (40:14):
In his mind, he got two hundred and seventy six
thousand dollars totally pleasure.
Speaker 2 (40:19):
Yeah, so he says, of course that didn't sustain. On
top of which I said, I'm going to get off
philosophy because I became like a kite with a string
but no anchor. No one could understand what I was
talking about. And I thought people would rather see me
as an orangutan than as an eagle meditating on the mountaintop. Anyway,
that makes sense to me totally. Right now, I would
(40:40):
like not to just skip past the meditating eagle on
the mountaintop versus the orangutan mistaken for Nicholas Cage. But
let's focus on how his collecting and his acting had
already somewhat merged in terms of their value to the
living process we know as Nicholas Cage. So, in a
twenty nineteen interview with The New York Times, Nicholas Cage
tells his interviewer, and I quote, you either have the
pro livity'd open up your imagination or you don't. If
(41:02):
you have that propensity and are on camera about to
do a scene. What would make you believe in what
you were about to do? So you're playing a demon
biker with an ancient spirit. What power objects could you
find that might trick your imagination? Would you find an
antique from an ancient pyramid, maybe a little sarcophagus that's
a greenish color and looks like King Tutt? Would you
(41:23):
sow that into your jacket and know that it's right
next to you? When the director says action, could you
open yourself up to that power? Those aren't rhetorical questions,
are they. That's what the interviewer asked, right, I did that. Yes. Now,
if you're at that point where you've looted antiques from
an ancient pyramid and sown them into your pocket so
you can do better at your job, you are truly
(41:44):
open to the universe.
Speaker 3 (41:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (41:45):
Right. In the movie Mandy, he has this ad libed
line and he quotes to his interviewer about the line.
He mentions it. He says, the psychotic drowns were the
mystic swims. Now that line actually is from Joseph Campbell,
and the original line is the psychotic drowns in the
same waters in which the mystic swims with delight, and
that's how he ended up buying his real estate portfolio.
He was swimming with delight in his two castles in
(42:07):
the Rhode Island Woods and in Las Vegas and La
and elsewhere. His Times interviewer says, oh, okay, I thought
you were being metaphorical about going on a Grail quest.
And then Nicholas Cage, apropos of nothing, says, yeah, if
you go to Glastonbury and go to the Chalice Wall,
there's a spring that does taste like blood. So apparently
at the Chalice Wall in Glastonbury. I've never been there,
(42:28):
but the story goes, Joseph of Arimathea secreted away the
Holy Grail, which is what makes the spring taste like blood. Yeah,
or it could just be an iron ore deposit that
gives it an iron taste, but hey, who am I
to say anyway? Following that same logic, Nicholas Cage tells
his interviewer that's the reason why he bought property in
Rhode Island. Who was chasing Grail legends or well? He said,
and I quote, I don't know if I'm going to
(42:48):
say that's why I bought the Rhode Island property. But
I will say that is why I went to Rhode Island,
and I happened to find the place beautiful. But yes,
this has put me on a search around different areas,
mostly in England, but also someplace in the States. What
I ultimately found is what is the grail? But earth itself?
Speaker 3 (43:05):
A producer Dave, are you familiar with any Rhode Island
holy grail lore?
Speaker 5 (43:10):
I don't think so. I mean, we've got what's his name,
the sci fi writer who's buried in Swan Point Cemetery.
Speaker 3 (43:18):
Oh yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4 (43:19):
Hp Lovecraft.
Speaker 5 (43:21):
Right, we've got Edgar Allan Poe drinking himself to death
courting Sarah Haln Whitman on Benefit Street.
Speaker 2 (43:27):
I don't know any grail lore in Rhode Island.
Speaker 3 (43:29):
That's strange. Yeah, so apparently he's the one who uncovered it.
Speaker 2 (43:33):
The Grail is hidden in Rhode Island or maybe anyway.
The Times interview stays on him about this, and he's
kind of disappointed that Nicholas Cage was spending his time
literally chasing after the Grail, like he's like a movie hero,
and the reporter says, I find the grail quest tend
to be more fulfilling when they're metaphorical. And this is
why why I love Nicholas Cage, he tells this cat, Well,
I knew that, and the metaphor for me is the Earth.
(43:53):
The divine object is Earth. Like that I thought you would,
So there it is, Elizabeth. Nicholas Cage went under request
and he found it planet Earth, and it was good.
But I love this questing mofo. I mean, I already
liked and respected and loved Nicholas Cage, but the story
of him stealing of Bob's Big Boy to win Patricia
Arquet's heart, and him buying a stolen dinosaur skull that
would inadvertently lead him to chase after the Holy Grail,
(44:16):
and then for him to find the whole Earth as
his reward, I mean, come on, I love this cash.
So anyway, he props up to our Bruce Lee of
being intense, the evil Canievil, of acting the Liberachi of lovers.
What's a ridiculous takeaway here, Elizabeth?
Speaker 3 (44:31):
I am so admiring the intensity. And I normally don't
like people.
Speaker 2 (44:38):
I have to tune it down around you.
Speaker 3 (44:40):
You do, and thank you, but no, I just I
usually don't care for that. But it's so intentional and pure,
and he takes he's talking about roles that most actors
would do as a paycheck and maybe not take it
so seriously and get into character in some sense. But
he's so invested in, like not just getting into a
(45:04):
character and the motivations and all of that, but to
truly understand this, this creation, and then how it's gonna
help him understand everything around him, everything in the world.
I really admire that. I love when people just go
all in totally, and he doesn't seem to be doing
that for a performative sense. He is all in that
(45:27):
world and in his world, and so I think that's
really cool. What's your ridiculous takeaway.
Speaker 2 (45:32):
Oh mine, Elizabeth, thank you for asking. Is I like,
how pretty much what you're saying is that you know
he's going to play ghostwriter and he's like, what can
ghostwriter teach me about the human condition?
Speaker 3 (45:43):
Right? Like that would just be a paycheck movie. And
instead he's like, well, someone came up.
Speaker 2 (45:49):
With this, How do I find this soul it's going to.
Speaker 3 (45:51):
In order for it to appeal to the masses, I
need to tap into what kind of catharsis this is
going to provide? Because that's what entertainment is, especially television.
Speaker 2 (46:02):
I can't believe they are a TV person.
Speaker 3 (46:04):
He changes everything, you know, I just feel so free.
Speaker 2 (46:07):
I know you have to move for a talkback, you
still do those?
Speaker 3 (46:09):
I always do.
Speaker 2 (46:10):
Talk Producer D, could you hit us up with the talkback? Wait?
Speaker 5 (46:14):
Wait before we do that, before we wrap up, I
have one question for both of you.
Speaker 2 (46:18):
Sure.
Speaker 5 (46:18):
Yeah, we've gone all this way and you haven't mentioned
the word Copola.
Speaker 4 (46:23):
Isn't there a connection?
Speaker 2 (46:25):
Oh? Yeah, yeah, he's Yeah, he is a nephew of
Francis Ford, and uh he is a cousin of Sophia
and yeah, and also Jason Schwartzman and Roman Coppola and uh,
yeah is cop and his father's August Coppola. Who was
the reason why I chose the film school I went to.
Speaker 3 (46:45):
Is Copola Cage in Italian?
Speaker 2 (46:47):
No, he picked that because of Luke Cage, the Marvel
comic actor. He changed it. He started out acting as
a Copola and then he changed.
Speaker 3 (46:53):
Yeah, I remember there's a film where he's credited.
Speaker 5 (46:57):
So my ridiculous takeaway, thank you both of you for asking,
is uh, you know, I think it takes that kind
of a setup of family connections to have the life,
to allow.
Speaker 4 (47:07):
Yourself to be as weird as Nicholas Cage can.
Speaker 3 (47:10):
Be totally totally.
Speaker 2 (47:12):
Yeah. But Patricia ar Ketch, he comes from a family
that is, uh, you know, multi generational actors, but she
was basically raised in a cultish kind of like alternative
lifestyle environment, and she has just that same confidence. I
think it's more so that your parents have to invest
in you a big story and make you think that
you're special in being the son of somebody like you
know that, or being a Coppola invest you in that story.
(47:34):
So I think you can do it without having to
actually be a NEPO baby. You just have to give
them the same sort of start that a NEPO baby
has in terms of confidence. Obviously, connections help too in
a place like Hollywood, but.
Speaker 4 (47:44):
Yeah, all buy that. I mean, or being a cult without.
Speaker 2 (47:49):
Yeah, so that also helps just you know, be a
cult or a Coppola.
Speaker 3 (47:53):
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2 (47:56):
So about that talk back.
Speaker 5 (47:58):
Oh yeah about that talk, I've got one. I'm gonna
warn you on the outset. It's in five parts, so
like butter.
Speaker 2 (48:10):
Oh God, I led.
Speaker 3 (48:18):
Hi, Elizabeth his Aaron, Hi, Dave.
Speaker 6 (48:21):
Uh So you guys played my talkback and a couple
episodes ago, I'm the one who had the back surgery.
Wanted to let you guys know that I'm actually doing better,
and it's funny. I didn't realize I left you a talkback.
I thought it was all a dream. So it was
very interesting for me to hear my talkback. So thank
(48:46):
you for the well wishes. I really appreciated it. I
actually wanted to tell you about the dream I had
while I was under the anesthesia and I was with
you guys apparently. Full disclaimer, though, I did try to
pretend to be Elizabeth Dutton for a minute, and I
tried to do one of her awesome character voices, but
(49:08):
I could not do it. I tried to be Elizabeth,
but I just couldn't do it. You're too awesome. So
in this anesthesia fueled dream, I was kind of somehow
a part of several different episodes of your podcast, and
I'm sure you can figure out which ones they were.
(49:29):
It was very distressing for me because my favorite aliens,
Elizabeth and Zaren, could not help me write my manifesto.
You guys were also the only aliens I could trust
because the rest of the aliens wanted to assassinate the
president and assassinate Charlie Chaplin, but it was only you
(49:52):
guys who could save the world with me, apparently, and
it was all because Cinderella was late and she wouldn't
write my manifesto. So I honestly have to say I
love your podcast. Thank you for making it so good,
(50:13):
because it really did give me a really great trip
while I was in that hospital. Thank you guys so much.
Speaker 2 (50:20):
Oh man, we're so glad to hear that you're feeling
better and that, yes, that we were there for you
when you need.
Speaker 3 (50:28):
I'm glad that that she's feeling better. But oh my,
I'd love to digest those incredible I love. It doesn't
happen in English, it's translation.
Speaker 2 (50:41):
It's just a name, right, yeah, okay, it's also the
name of a of a wine. So as always, you
can find us online Ridiculous Crime on the social media
if you know where to look. Well, so we have
a website ridiculous Crime dot com. And uh, obviously we
love your talkback, so please go the iHeart app, leave
one and maybe we'll hear yourself on the air. Email
(51:03):
us if you like a Ridiculous Crime at gmail dot
com Please type in dear Elizabeth and as always, thanks
for listening. We'll catch you next crime. Ridiculous Crime is
hosted by Elizabeth Dutton and Zaren Burnette, produced and edited
by Dave. Sorry, boss, but there's only two men I trust.
(51:24):
One of them's me and the others not you. Cousten.
Research is by Patricia Arquette, Truthers, Marissa Brown and Andrea
song Jarpentier. Our theme song is by Thomas I'm gonna
steal the Declaration of Independence Lee and Travis. I'll be
taking these Huggies and whatever cash you got Dutton. The
host wardrobe provided by Botany five hundred. Guest hair and
(51:46):
makeup by Sparklesham and mister Andrea. Executive producers are Ben
I want to take his face off Boldin and I'm
Nicholas Freaking Cage Noel Brown.
Speaker 3 (52:04):
Ridicous Crime, Say It one more Time Ridiqulious Crime.
Speaker 1 (52:10):
Ridiculous Crime is a production of iHeartRadio. Four more podcasts
from iHeartRadio visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever
you listen to your favorite shows
Hosts And Creators
Zaron Burnett
Elizabeth Dutton
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