July 11, 2024 • 17 mins
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Speaker 1 (00:05):
This is Rachel gos Rogue. Welcome back to another episode
of Rachel Goes Rope. This is your host, Rachel Savannah Lovis,
and today we're doing part two of the questions that
you guys submitted. You are taking the reins in these
two episodes, and I want to get to all of
(00:26):
your questions. So we're going to pick up where we
left off from the last episode. And I was just thinking.
I got asked the question what routines do you do
to take care of your mental health? And I said
breathing and crafting. And I also would like to share
(00:48):
the other things that I do to take care of
my mental health. I meditate, I listen to positive podcasts,
I have weekly therapy, I listen to music. I'm social
in my community. I read self help books. I read
books to nurture my inner child. And I keep my
(01:11):
space clean. And I think that last part has been
a huge help in the transformation of my mood and
feeling organized and feeling like I'm waking up every day
excited to get work done because my space is just
like calm and zen and my vibe and I love it.
(01:37):
So those are some tips for you if you're looking
to improve areas in your own mental health. Okay, back
to these questions. You guys sent in some heavy questions
or maybe I just I'm a heavy person. I'm a
deep person, so I go there. But these are really
(01:57):
good questions, and I I am happy that we have
this sort of dialogue and you're you're interested in knowing
more about me, and I am very happy to share.
So we will get back into it. Okay, first question,
we're starting off talking about Tom. Even when I said
(02:19):
I wasn't going to anymore, well, well, well well here
we are. I guess I changed my mind. Okay, do
you wish it worked out with you and Tom? No?
I do not. You know, the part that I wish
it worked out on are things that I would want
(02:40):
different in him. And I have to accept the fact
that I cannot change anybody, and nobody is going to
change for me, so Tom as the package that he is.
I am happy that it did not work out between us.
Would you watch a season twelve the vander Pump Roles
if there is one, Absolutely freaking not. I am traumatized
(03:05):
after watching last season of vander Pump Roles, and I
never want to watch a season of it again. Can
you give any comforting words to other girls who are
the other women? Ooh, let me see, okay. I would
say to anyone who has been the other woman or
(03:29):
currently is the other woman in a relationship that it's
very important to seek out trusted friends and tell them
about the situation, or hire a therapist, invest some money
into yourself to talk it out, because the secrecy is
(03:57):
toxic and it's not healthy for anyone to be in
situation like that. You deserve so much better than being
an option. And unfortunately, when you are giving somebody girlfriend
access without the girlfriend's status, you are doing yourself a
(04:22):
disservice and the guy is going to take advantage of
this situation to the max. So just be mindful of that.
I know you're probably thinking you are in love with
this person. You probably are in love with this person,
but you're probably attached to and attachment isn't a bad thing.
(04:45):
We can be aware of it, we can accept it,
and then we can change it. And you deserve a
love that is selfless towards you, and I think you
should settle for anything less. So if you are in
a situation where you're sneaking around with somebody that you
(05:07):
should not be. You're doing yourself a disservice, and please, please,
please get help, but don't shame yourself. Because you're human.
We're programmed to love others and to receive love, but
you deserve more than this. I hope that helps. I
hope that was comforting some tough love. I guess back
(05:31):
to our questions, do you think the pageant world set
you up to be vulnerable to trauma? No? And this
is a very interesting question because I feel like the
pageant world gets a very bad rep from my experience
of it. It was a very positive thing for me
(05:52):
to push myself and grow outside of my comfort zone.
I chose to participate in my first pageant when I
was sixteen in high school, so my parents did not
force me to compete, and I raised my own money
to compete. I got sponsors so I could compete and
(06:13):
buy a gown and dress up and get makeup lessons.
And this is coming from a girl that wouldn't ask
for anything, So asking for money was like a huge deal.
And that's how much it meant to me because I
knew that there was something there for me to learn.
I would love to have some of my pageant girlfriends
(06:36):
on this podcast to talk about our experience because it's
unique and I feel like it's misunderstood and highly stereotyped.
The women that compete in pageants are pretty badass and
they want the world to be a better place, and
maybe that is a little bit stereotypical, but I don't
(06:56):
think that they're dumb at all. And I feel like
a I did a little bit of a disservice to
the pageant community by being passed as the dumb one
on vander Pump Rules, but I think that the show
did that. I'm not stupid. I'm actually very intelligent, and
we could talk about that too, because you know, I've
(07:18):
had to figure out the hard way that I've had
a learning disability and overcome that. And I would love
to dive deeper into my ADHD diagnosis and how I
got certain accommodations. That could be a whole episode. But
back to the question, No, I do not think the
(07:38):
pageant world set me up to be vulnerable to trauma. Yeah,
I'm just going to leave it at that and say
that I would love to have some friends on here
to help expand your knowledge of the pageant community. I
think that would be fun. What is your advice on
red flags to look for? And then ooh, okay, this
(08:02):
sound's fun because my therapist that I have now I've
got the red flag meter down. I feel like anyway
someone who is controlling, it's definitely a red flag. You
do not want to date somebody who's controlling. I would
say it's probably best for the guy that you are
(08:24):
dating to have a positive relationship with his mother and
his family. I think that childhood really shapes you to
become the person that you are subconsciously, and a guy
who has a good relationship with his mother is probably
(08:44):
going to treat you right. I would say, we'll see,
I'll let you know. Also, guys who have an older sister,
I feel like, get it, guys who don't have integrity,
say what you mean, mean what you say, and like
that needs to be consistent. And I would give somebody
(09:07):
like three mess ups before you cut them out, if
they're like small mess ups, Because if they're small things,
I feel like it's easy to give them a pass.
And maybe it was I don't know, like give them
the benefit of the doubt. But if it's consistent like that,
they're probably going to mess up on a bigger thing,
and we don't want that. So integrity is huge. When
(09:31):
a guy treats people in service with disrespect, I would
say that that's a red flag. When did you decide
to get sober? I decided to get sober when I
checked myself into the meadows. I remember telling Tom there's
a good chance that I will leave here not drinking
alcohol anymore. I was like, Okay, I'm going to take
(09:57):
back control of my life and not use substances the
way that I have in the past. And I can
honestly say like it has brought me so much more
clarity cutting alcohol out of my life. I feel like
(10:18):
I can really connect to myself better and access parts
of my brain that need more processing and healing. And
I'm able to like step into my most favorite self
more often. And I think, you know, I think it's
paired with multiple things like consistent therapy and daily routines,
(10:42):
but alcohol, I think is the most overrated substance in
today's culture. Yeah, if you're sober curious, I would try
it out for a month. See if you can cut
out alcohol. It'll be difficult, but see what happens. Try
(11:03):
it out for yourself. How did you learn to overcome
fear around public speaking. I overcame fear by exposure therapy,
showing up and speaking when I did not want to.
(11:27):
I joined Toastmasters, and I forced myself to speak in
front of other people. You have to like prep speeches,
and they count the number of likes and ums and
filler words that you say so that you become more aware,
which I still have work to do, but my confidence
speaking improved because of that, and I felt like I
(11:54):
was able to express myself more than I ever was
able to before. And this is me newly single and
really breaking out of my depression that I was in
and seeing life in a new light and new like
a new hopefulness and just like living life to the
full list. That was my mindset. Yeah, I just felt
(12:17):
like I was talking a lot more. And I think
you guys noticed when I resumed filming for season ten,
Like I remember seeing comments of people saying, like, what
the heck, Like Raquel is a different person, She's not
her voice isn't the same. And it was because, like
I was doing so much training for Miss California. Yeah,
(12:38):
it's it's all about exposure therapy and that is why
I competed in Miss California teen, USA back when I
was sixteen, because I knew that it would push me
outside of my comfort zone. Basically, it's like, what's the
one fear in your life, your most illogical, irrational fear?
(12:59):
Point that and then what would happen if you overcame
that fear? What would unlock for you? And so I
feared public speaking so much that I felt like if
I overcame that I would be unstoppable. And uh, look
(13:21):
me now I have my own podcast and I feel
pretty freaking unstoppable. Do you regret breaking off your engagement
with James? No, I don't regret breaking off my engagement.
I knew that James is not the right person for
me because I wouldn't treat other people the way that
(13:42):
he treated other people, and I would be embarrassed and
become very very small and want to disappear when he
treated people very disrespectfully. Did you have any empathy for
Katie during season ten? Do you feel like you owe
her and her mom in apology? I did not, and
(14:04):
that is not something that I am proud of. Katie.
I'm really sorry for not considering you and your emotions
and what you were going through. I did not even
think or one moment to put myself in your shoes,
(14:25):
and I caused you so much pain, and I truly
am sorry for that. I decided to play into a
role on a reality TV show for the views. I'm
not doing that again, and I hope you are healing
(14:47):
and I hope you're doing well. Would you be open
to talking to any former cast members? Do you ever
see a world where there is any sort of friendship
with any of them? I don't see a world where
there is a genuine friendship because I feel like rust
(15:10):
has been broken on both ends. I feel like the
love that I received from the cast members were conditional.
I would be open to talking to Lalla. I don't
think that there's a world where there's any sort of
genuine friendship, But I think there's a world where we
can be cordial to each other and not you know,
(15:34):
send the dogs on each other anymore. So all I
can do, and I understand completely like it's part of
the acceptance of like this situation where people are going
to think what they think given the circumstance, and I
would think that too. All I can do now is
(15:54):
show up for myself consistently, honestly, and over time I
will be able to rebuild that trust. You know, this
whole journey has been such a process for me, and
I think it's very poetic that I entered into this
(16:19):
reality TV world thinking it was real and knowing that
I would overcome some sort of block with my public
speaking and social anxiety and external validation. When it has,
(16:40):
it has so much so that like, I know myself
better than I ever had before. I can confidently say that,
and I can speak freely and honestly and openly and
without fear because the people that are receiving my message
(17:02):
are receiving it for a reason. And I think the
poetic part is that it's through a podcast, which I
would have never in a million years thought that I
would have had. Thank you for listening. I'm happy that
you are here. Thank you so much for listening to
(17:25):
Rachel Goes Rogue. Follow us on Instagram and TikTok for
exclusive video content at Rachel gos Rogue Podcast
This is Rachel gos Rogue. Welcome back to another episode
of Rachel Goes Rope. This is your host, Rachel Savannah Lovis,
and today we're doing part two of the questions that
you guys submitted. You are taking the reins in these
two episodes, and I want to get to all of
(00:26):
your questions. So we're going to pick up where we
left off from the last episode. And I was just thinking.
I got asked the question what routines do you do
to take care of your mental health? And I said
breathing and crafting. And I also would like to share
(00:48):
the other things that I do to take care of
my mental health. I meditate, I listen to positive podcasts,
I have weekly therapy, I listen to music. I'm social
in my community. I read self help books. I read
books to nurture my inner child. And I keep my
(01:11):
space clean. And I think that last part has been
a huge help in the transformation of my mood and
feeling organized and feeling like I'm waking up every day
excited to get work done because my space is just
like calm and zen and my vibe and I love it.
(01:37):
So those are some tips for you if you're looking
to improve areas in your own mental health. Okay, back
to these questions. You guys sent in some heavy questions
or maybe I just I'm a heavy person. I'm a
deep person, so I go there. But these are really
(01:57):
good questions, and I I am happy that we have
this sort of dialogue and you're you're interested in knowing
more about me, and I am very happy to share.
So we will get back into it. Okay, first question,
we're starting off talking about Tom. Even when I said
(02:19):
I wasn't going to anymore, well, well, well well here
we are. I guess I changed my mind. Okay, do
you wish it worked out with you and Tom? No?
I do not. You know, the part that I wish
it worked out on are things that I would want
(02:40):
different in him. And I have to accept the fact
that I cannot change anybody, and nobody is going to
change for me, so Tom as the package that he is.
I am happy that it did not work out between us.
Would you watch a season twelve the vander Pump Roles
if there is one, Absolutely freaking not. I am traumatized
(03:05):
after watching last season of vander Pump Roles, and I
never want to watch a season of it again. Can
you give any comforting words to other girls who are
the other women? Ooh, let me see, okay. I would
say to anyone who has been the other woman or
(03:29):
currently is the other woman in a relationship that it's
very important to seek out trusted friends and tell them
about the situation, or hire a therapist, invest some money
into yourself to talk it out, because the secrecy is
(03:57):
toxic and it's not healthy for anyone to be in
situation like that. You deserve so much better than being
an option. And unfortunately, when you are giving somebody girlfriend
access without the girlfriend's status, you are doing yourself a
(04:22):
disservice and the guy is going to take advantage of
this situation to the max. So just be mindful of that.
I know you're probably thinking you are in love with
this person. You probably are in love with this person,
but you're probably attached to and attachment isn't a bad thing.
(04:45):
We can be aware of it, we can accept it,
and then we can change it. And you deserve a
love that is selfless towards you, and I think you
should settle for anything less. So if you are in
a situation where you're sneaking around with somebody that you
(05:07):
should not be. You're doing yourself a disservice, and please, please,
please get help, but don't shame yourself. Because you're human.
We're programmed to love others and to receive love, but
you deserve more than this. I hope that helps. I
hope that was comforting some tough love. I guess back
(05:31):
to our questions, do you think the pageant world set
you up to be vulnerable to trauma? No? And this
is a very interesting question because I feel like the
pageant world gets a very bad rep from my experience
of it. It was a very positive thing for me
(05:52):
to push myself and grow outside of my comfort zone.
I chose to participate in my first pageant when I
was sixteen in high school, so my parents did not
force me to compete, and I raised my own money
to compete. I got sponsors so I could compete and
(06:13):
buy a gown and dress up and get makeup lessons.
And this is coming from a girl that wouldn't ask
for anything, So asking for money was like a huge deal.
And that's how much it meant to me because I
knew that there was something there for me to learn.
I would love to have some of my pageant girlfriends
(06:36):
on this podcast to talk about our experience because it's
unique and I feel like it's misunderstood and highly stereotyped.
The women that compete in pageants are pretty badass and
they want the world to be a better place, and
maybe that is a little bit stereotypical, but I don't
(06:56):
think that they're dumb at all. And I feel like
a I did a little bit of a disservice to
the pageant community by being passed as the dumb one
on vander Pump Rules, but I think that the show
did that. I'm not stupid. I'm actually very intelligent, and
we could talk about that too, because you know, I've
(07:18):
had to figure out the hard way that I've had
a learning disability and overcome that. And I would love
to dive deeper into my ADHD diagnosis and how I
got certain accommodations. That could be a whole episode. But
back to the question, No, I do not think the
(07:38):
pageant world set me up to be vulnerable to trauma. Yeah,
I'm just going to leave it at that and say
that I would love to have some friends on here
to help expand your knowledge of the pageant community. I
think that would be fun. What is your advice on
red flags to look for? And then ooh, okay, this
(08:02):
sound's fun because my therapist that I have now I've
got the red flag meter down. I feel like anyway
someone who is controlling, it's definitely a red flag. You
do not want to date somebody who's controlling. I would
say it's probably best for the guy that you are
(08:24):
dating to have a positive relationship with his mother and
his family. I think that childhood really shapes you to
become the person that you are subconsciously, and a guy
who has a good relationship with his mother is probably
(08:44):
going to treat you right. I would say, we'll see,
I'll let you know. Also, guys who have an older sister,
I feel like, get it, guys who don't have integrity,
say what you mean, mean what you say, and like
that needs to be consistent. And I would give somebody
(09:07):
like three mess ups before you cut them out, if
they're like small mess ups, Because if they're small things,
I feel like it's easy to give them a pass.
And maybe it was I don't know, like give them
the benefit of the doubt. But if it's consistent like that,
they're probably going to mess up on a bigger thing,
and we don't want that. So integrity is huge. When
(09:31):
a guy treats people in service with disrespect, I would
say that that's a red flag. When did you decide
to get sober? I decided to get sober when I
checked myself into the meadows. I remember telling Tom there's
a good chance that I will leave here not drinking
alcohol anymore. I was like, Okay, I'm going to take
(09:57):
back control of my life and not use substances the
way that I have in the past. And I can
honestly say like it has brought me so much more
clarity cutting alcohol out of my life. I feel like
(10:18):
I can really connect to myself better and access parts
of my brain that need more processing and healing. And
I'm able to like step into my most favorite self
more often. And I think, you know, I think it's
paired with multiple things like consistent therapy and daily routines,
(10:42):
but alcohol, I think is the most overrated substance in
today's culture. Yeah, if you're sober curious, I would try
it out for a month. See if you can cut
out alcohol. It'll be difficult, but see what happens. Try
(11:03):
it out for yourself. How did you learn to overcome
fear around public speaking. I overcame fear by exposure therapy,
showing up and speaking when I did not want to.
(11:27):
I joined Toastmasters, and I forced myself to speak in
front of other people. You have to like prep speeches,
and they count the number of likes and ums and
filler words that you say so that you become more aware,
which I still have work to do, but my confidence
speaking improved because of that, and I felt like I
(11:54):
was able to express myself more than I ever was
able to before. And this is me newly single and
really breaking out of my depression that I was in
and seeing life in a new light and new like
a new hopefulness and just like living life to the
full list. That was my mindset. Yeah, I just felt
(12:17):
like I was talking a lot more. And I think
you guys noticed when I resumed filming for season ten,
Like I remember seeing comments of people saying, like, what
the heck, Like Raquel is a different person, She's not
her voice isn't the same. And it was because, like
I was doing so much training for Miss California. Yeah,
(12:38):
it's it's all about exposure therapy and that is why
I competed in Miss California teen, USA back when I
was sixteen, because I knew that it would push me
outside of my comfort zone. Basically, it's like, what's the
one fear in your life, your most illogical, irrational fear?
(12:59):
Point that and then what would happen if you overcame
that fear? What would unlock for you? And so I
feared public speaking so much that I felt like if
I overcame that I would be unstoppable. And uh, look
(13:21):
me now I have my own podcast and I feel
pretty freaking unstoppable. Do you regret breaking off your engagement
with James? No, I don't regret breaking off my engagement.
I knew that James is not the right person for
me because I wouldn't treat other people the way that
(13:42):
he treated other people, and I would be embarrassed and
become very very small and want to disappear when he
treated people very disrespectfully. Did you have any empathy for
Katie during season ten? Do you feel like you owe
her and her mom in apology? I did not, and
(14:04):
that is not something that I am proud of. Katie.
I'm really sorry for not considering you and your emotions
and what you were going through. I did not even
think or one moment to put myself in your shoes,
(14:25):
and I caused you so much pain, and I truly
am sorry for that. I decided to play into a
role on a reality TV show for the views. I'm
not doing that again, and I hope you are healing
(14:47):
and I hope you're doing well. Would you be open
to talking to any former cast members? Do you ever
see a world where there is any sort of friendship
with any of them? I don't see a world where
there is a genuine friendship because I feel like rust
(15:10):
has been broken on both ends. I feel like the
love that I received from the cast members were conditional.
I would be open to talking to Lalla. I don't
think that there's a world where there's any sort of
genuine friendship, But I think there's a world where we
can be cordial to each other and not you know,
(15:34):
send the dogs on each other anymore. So all I
can do, and I understand completely like it's part of
the acceptance of like this situation where people are going
to think what they think given the circumstance, and I
would think that too. All I can do now is
(15:54):
show up for myself consistently, honestly, and over time I
will be able to rebuild that trust. You know, this
whole journey has been such a process for me, and
I think it's very poetic that I entered into this
(16:19):
reality TV world thinking it was real and knowing that
I would overcome some sort of block with my public
speaking and social anxiety and external validation. When it has,
(16:40):
it has so much so that like, I know myself
better than I ever had before. I can confidently say that,
and I can speak freely and honestly and openly and
without fear because the people that are receiving my message
(17:02):
are receiving it for a reason. And I think the
poetic part is that it's through a podcast, which I
would have never in a million years thought that I
would have had. Thank you for listening. I'm happy that
you are here. Thank you so much for listening to
(17:25):
Rachel Goes Rogue. Follow us on Instagram and TikTok for
exclusive video content at Rachel gos Rogue Podcast
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