Sal Vulcano

Before his time on TruTV’s 'Impractical Jokers,' Sal Vulcano details his time as a teenager delivering pizzas on Staten Island, a time that included, spitting on pizzas, naked women, and car crashes. He then naturally pivoted to being an ordained minister and stand-up comedian. Sal also breaks down the early days of his improv group, The Tenderloins, and their unlikely rise to almost 300 episodes on TruTV as the 'Impractical Jokers.' A rapper believed to be gay is now being exposed for being…straight? Only @Rod4Short can explain. He also chimes in on a former TLC star who is taking the saying of putting her “blood, sweat, and tears” into her work literally — at least the “sweat” part. The new season of TruTV’s ‘Impractical Jokers’ premieres on June 16th! This is not a Paramount network show and the only reason that Roy is putting this in the description is that Sal actually IS a good friend. LOL!!! Wanna meet the team or be on the Job Fair? Swing by Roysjobfair.com and register to be a guest on an upcoming episode.  
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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
You're listening to Comedy Central. Now that week another job
fair Roger early again a little bit Yeah, now hiring
A lot of workers j G are refusing to return

(00:21):
to the office and are being fired for it. One
of the reasons that the workers are refusing to go
back to the office is something called lunch flation. What
is that? The price of lunchtime meals across the United
States has increased to the point that a lot of
workers are going, Yo, I don't even want to come

(00:43):
in because I'm gonna have to order launch and lunch
food prices are up almost fifteen percent from this time
last year. Did you ever pack lunch? Damn? He was
at a job. I was just about to say, why
can't they just pack what they talk about? Employers said,
I didn't pact, I didn't pack lunch. I didn't pack lunch.

(01:05):
If I got married, I ain't gonna lie about that.
When I prodished the morning television share, I pat for lunch.
Yeah about nobody ever think y'all was cute enough to
bring y'all much? What the fun is going on? I
don't know. They just felt like some construction worker ship.
I was like, I ain't no construction worker bringing me mine?
You bring lunch to me mother. Yeah, I was definitely

(01:28):
like I never was having a time to be like, oh,
let me be a proactive and make my lunch before
I go to bed. Now, I was normally too wild
for that ship, but I just never felt like something
cool like Jacqueline is that attractive? A man that just sail?
I got my deal, munty little peach slices in the
cup you Sunday. This is my job fair Wednesday. It's

(02:14):
the most beautiful that you know. Why I do this
show on Wednesday. It's because Wednesday is halftime. Monday and
Tuesday could have sucked and you need today to reset,
make the adjustments, and come back out the locker room
Thursday morning with your ship together, or Monday and Tuesday
could have been so bad that you just check out
on Wednesday and call it an early weekend. Facts under

(02:38):
the covers. I'm not getting the show. It's not here
to give you a great week. It's not here to
fix your problems on Friday after a bad week. We're
here to just give you a little sip of emotional
gatorade and send you back out there into that shitty
job that you can't stand. Who knows how many people
we've set down the road of selling used draws to
make a better And third, you brought that up. I'm

(03:01):
glad that you brought that up. We got a single
guest today, the Homi salve 'conno. I don't know why
I keep Why do I always do that? Ralph? Why
do I get into radio a guest? And I'm not
gonna tell you who. You're gonna be so surprised. It's
in the description. People do that on podcast a lot too.

(03:21):
It's just like the description is all over this ship.
They're tagging all the social media. It's not a fucking surprise.
You're never gonna believe who we've gotten. It's gonna be
so surprising. Don't read the description, but it's gonna be
so exciting. Vo'connor from True TVs and Practical Jokers will
be on with us very shortly as they get ready

(03:43):
for their new episodes back on True TV once. You
should ask him what his thoughts are about the Magician
and Practical Jokers. Oh, old night, starting ship, because I
know two of those just starting ship right real quick.

(04:11):
Let's just speak to it real fast. It's getting to
the CMO today. Rod. I'm sure you're already aware of
this one. I think we were were union third swapping
this j G. By the way, the three of us
have a group text at separate apart from you. It's
nothing disrespectful. I don't want you to feel excluded. No,
rather we not include you on that one. You don't

(04:33):
want Yeah, you don't want to see some of the
stuff we said you don't. We started it out of
reflecting in the first place, you know, mm hmmm. A
former TLC starring influencer, Jacqueline took to a TikTok to
show the world that she makes up to three hundred

(04:56):
to five hundred dollars a bottle. To this well, a
former TLC starring influencer is selling bottles of her memory
sweat also known as boob sweat, for three hundred to
five hundred dollars a bottle. Stephanie Mattow, who was once
on ninety day fiance, has put up a series of

(05:21):
TikTok videos that are basically a how to. She sits
out in the sun with a bottle nestled right under
you know, like right with the underwire of the broncos.
She puts a bottle there and just sits there and
just let's sweat, drill, dribble in there like a maple tree.
You haven't seen how to get maple seven. That's what

(05:50):
she's doing. Jack. Here's the bigger question. And this is
for rod Uh. You're always early when we need you.
You're right on time for this. What does one do
with the bottle of memory juice rock? Now? What what

(06:12):
I think you do with that? Is your your dab
a little bit um, your your dad, have a little
bit of it on a rag or T shirt, maybe
all brawls, some panties you bought from the same woman,
and you sniffed that while you jacket, because that would
make much to do with a jar sweat. I mean,

(06:34):
you don't want to drink that, I mean unless you're
in that, you know, but it's gonna go too fast. Yeah,
just a little dad, But do you yeah, sniffing like
like you're huffing glue, you know what I'm talking about.

(06:54):
I mean, I mean, what would you do with it?
And it's it's not a lot of sweat, by the way,
Like it's not like she's selling gallons and gallons. It
looks like the best I can describe it is those
free cologne samples you get you buy cologne in the
department store, so it's a it's a sprint. People are

(07:18):
paying three hundred dollars for that. Yeah, that much money
for sprints. You know, if you buy porn, you're weird
as fucking and and financially irresponsible. So it's not shocking
that people have spend that much money on something like that,
right right talking to me, homie, it's like high on

(07:42):
the sibometer. It's very high, because that's if you're paying
to get anything from a woman, you're a simp right
off the bat. And the fact that porn is free
and you're buying something from a porn is super simping.
And you could just go to the gym and accidentally

(08:02):
white ladies with a towel and get the same sweat
and just go home. That's ten dollars of money and
play the fitness instead of five. To her, I thought
you were gonna get a job at Planet Fitness and
just take the towels out the towel hamper. Now, you
might not want to work at the jail, and I
get that, but yeah, you just swipe some ladies in place. Oh,

(08:22):
I'm sorry, and they're just going back. That's creepy and disgusting.
I think simth. I think simth is better than creep
I mean, but but it is, you know, six and
one hand, half a dozen and the other one. It is,
here's creepy that in a changeable way that you're talking
about specific things. I don't go as far as to

(08:46):
say creepy simpthing for making five thousand dollars a day
and sitting up there and flipping that sweat, And I wonder,
I wonder what women would do? You think women would
pay for that? That bootist that like right there in
the smaller your back or like right under like your
your ass cheek. You think anybody would know bottle that? Yes, yes,

(09:10):
we've talked. We've talked about this with Poring before. If
there's a market for literally everything on this planet. You're
telling me there's people who are into vomit is born,
but don't nobody won't subdude, crack sweat ain't everything goes cracking? Tain't.

(09:30):
Sweat might be a real high commodity right about now,
roy Wood, sweat sucking fox in this NBC ship. Something else,
go crack for making five thousand dollars a day. Sell

(09:58):
it them but a sweat from your body. Sister, Stephanie Matter,
you are Cody's most outstanding employee of week. Congratulations. Let
me see you. We're in China. I can buy some
boat cologne bottles in case as the little sample. The
little sample to ordering ship from China. You gotta order

(10:23):
like two thousand at a time and ship and then
it's gonna okay. Listen, I know a couple of niggers.
They've still got some of them old Dame rock crack
viols left over from seven perfect. I'll let me here
because they got them. Lift to first and first time.

(10:45):
This first guest, our only guest this week. It's a
good friend of mine. J G. Who do we have?
We're joined by comedians Sal and the Staten Island comic
is best known for is ridiculous antic on the show
in Practical Jokers. A few fun facts about Sal. He

(11:07):
has a terrifying fear of cats, he has not one,
but two tattoos of Jaden Smith, and he's an ordained minister.
Sal will be talking to us about his comedy career
and a variety of crazy work experience from his past.
Hello Sal Sal brother. When I say it's good to

(11:28):
see you, I mean give us a worst job or
first job. From that time in Staten Island, I know
there had to been a lot of weird, questionable, get
paid in cash only gigs for you during that for sure. Yeah,
I've only had I was thinking about this because I've
only had I think five jobs in my life. I'm

(11:49):
about to be forty six. So I worked at a
convenience store. I got my working papers at four team.
I started at that store. I worked there five years.
I went from the stockboys to the register to the
Delhi guy. Uh in my nineteenth year. I I was
kept trying to poach. I kept trying to get this
job one block away at the pizzeria because I had

(12:11):
friends I was going into college and friends with delivering
pizza that was off the book tip money and I
was a convenient food marks still making like five on
the books, so they were making like ten twelve dollars
cash off the books, which is insane, insane leap. So
I've been trying to get that job. And I got
that job, and I stayed with it all the way

(12:33):
until I was twenty two. Uh got out of college,
worked at Prudential Securities for about four years. Left there,
was a bartender for like eight or nine years, got
the show, and decided to fully focus on comedy for
like the last ten years. So I've only had five jobs.
The fact that you can name all five jobs is
honestly incredible. That's that's that's a win within itself, because

(12:56):
I can promise you I have not I've had more
than five, and I can't remember a good number of
them at this point. That's that's crazy. Yeah, I dig in.
I stayed the course until it's ready for me to
want like everything. Everything's just been like five years, four years,
four years, eight years, ten years, you know. But I
have a better story for my second job. So okay,
first of all, I'm trying to get this job because

(13:16):
it's so so much better pain. You know. I was
going there. I was buying slices and stuff. So finally
one day he he tells me, all right, you can
work here. Can you start like Monday or whatever? It
was right, and it just so happened that like two
weeks before that, I got into a car accident and
my car got total. So now I don't have a car.

(13:39):
And he hires me, and I accept a job, and
I don't tell him that I don't have a car.
So so I go and I tell my dad. I'm like, Dad,
I gotta get a car. I don't know what to do,
you know whatever. So he's like, all right, I need
it by this time. So my dad's like, all right,
let's figure out what we could do here. Maybe we
could scrap together like a thousand bucks bucks. So the

(14:01):
way we looked for a car is my my dad,
I got in his car and we drove up and
down the streets of our neighborhood just looking for cars
like that extra car in the driveway, like on the
lawn that has like the chalk on the window that
says like two thousands, like a yard car like we

(14:21):
didn't have. Under we didn't have. We couldn't go to
like a there's really no like cars like under a
thousand dollars that a lot. So we found one for
nine d bucks. It was a it was like a
like a ship brown Plymouth Reliant. Kke car was the
cars that they used to use for driver's drow. I

(14:44):
had a Dodge aries which is like in that same model. Yeah,
so everything was identical to the driver car, so we
didn't have the second wheel, you know. So I bought
it for nine bucks. I get to, you know, I
get I put it in gas, I make sure it
has oil. Whatever I could do. It was seemed like

(15:04):
it was running fine. I get there that day, first
night of work, torrential torrential downpouring. My wipers don't work.
I didn't realize that. Now, I'm not telling him that

(15:24):
I got the car the day before or whatever it was.
I like I had like temporary ship on the thing
or two days afore, and so I'm not going to
tell him that it's I don't want to f up.
I don't want to lose his job. It took me
along togame. I don't want to tell him that I
can't deliver, and I don't want to tell him that
I don't have wipers. What's he gonna do? So I
didn't know what to do. So I ran into my
old job up the block, and I got this twine

(15:47):
that I used to do that I used to take
to like wrap all the cardboard, like recycling, and I
tied twine to the wipers and then I had enough
to pull it into the car. And then I held
it in my fist and I drove and then pulled
the I pulled the while I was You ever see

(16:12):
like home alone when he's like in there and he's
controlling like the Michael Jordan's thing and he's pulling. I'm
just literally driving and I'm pulling it for the whole night.
I did that first night, first night ever working at it.
I ended up working there like four years, but first
night ever working there? Right, how many weeks did it
take you to get real wipers? I got him? I

(16:32):
went my dad took me like the next I didn't
go back without whitpers sent to that, like I just
had no. It wasn't even I didn't have wipers. It's
the wipers didn't work. So I just yeah the motor. Yeah,
we had to get that fixed. So fast forward, like
you know, sometime later I had the job for a while.
This is just like it's more of like a a
breath of like crazy stories I had from this. And

(16:54):
I'm driving and I I've been in a bunch of
car accidents in my life. I think one was my
fault and it was this one. Like there's five on us, right,
So I'm delivering this dinner to this I still remember
the address thirty two Avenue, and I have everything in
like the pizza box, and it's on the floor on
the front of my car, on the passenger side, and

(17:15):
I'm driving at this time. I had like long hair
I was like in THEO was like Eddie Vedder like
I had the long hair. I smoked and and so
I'm driving, and you know, the only thing I did
was put a tribe called Quest sticker on the dashboard
and I hung like my niece gave me like an
Elmo thing like a key chain, so I hung it
from the car was complete stock except for the sticker

(17:38):
and this Elmo thing. And I'm driving and it had
one of those old ash trays that no joke, you
could probably a few Carton's words of ash like it
would pull it would pull out almost like a different
another glove box. Almost. Oh yeah. It was like inside
the armrests are deep in the ashtray, like half the
dashboard was ashtray, and it was under the radio, which
didn't work, by the way, only a m so. I

(18:00):
also had a boom box with eight double D batteries
and a CD player on top that I had in
the front seat that I played for music instead of
the radio because it only had AM. So it was
a fucking mess. Right, So I'm smoking and I'm I
have the cigarette and I'm driving, and I had to
remember like a doctor pepper and I'm holding that between
my legs and and it just was not good. Right,

(18:22):
I learned, but at one point I forgot, you know,
I want to double check where I was going, and
so I just pulled away from a red light I've
been going about and the road naturally like it curved
and I took my eyes off the street for like
one second. I looked down to look at the receipt
and see what the And then when I came back up,

(18:44):
I had like went like that to look at the receipt,
and I had completely swerved to the right. And when
I came back up, there was a parked car in
front of me on this street, a parked car. I
was doing. I was doing a prossibly thirty miles an hour,
And when I looked up, I was less than ten
ft from the car and I slammed on the brakes.

(19:06):
Skid didn't even help. I hit this car. The car
like jackknifed up when it went off the curb and
then knocked down a wrought iron fence of the house
that the property was on and was on the fence
half on their property. My head smashed the windshield broke it.
The food popped out one everywhere. It was big ZD.

(19:29):
I had big ZD all through my hair, like just
just literally pasta like in my hair, glass shards in
my hair. I played hockey at the time. The trunk
popped open, all my equipment came out all over the street.
I mean all of it, like a full hockey bag
of equipment all over street. I have big ZiT hanging
from my hair. This car is knocked down and I'm

(19:49):
just sitting there and no, there was no other cars
around for that moment, and I just was like stunned,
and I'm like I looked in I saw that the
mirror was broken. I wasn't bleeding. I looked as pasta
my hair and everything. And it was the only time
as two delivery drivers, was Fridays between five and eight pm.
And it happened to be between five and eight p m.
And a moment later, just so happens, the other delivery driver,

(20:12):
this kid, Rocky, as a matter of fact, he passed
by and he slowed down. He just looked at me
and he was like sal and I was like yeah, man,
and he's like, yo, your ship is everywhere. Are you okay?
He's oh, look, get Pato. Get pat That was the owner,
and he runs back to get him. And now the
cops come, the ambulance come. I'm standing outside and giving
them my account of everything. And as I'm giving the

(20:35):
cops to the account that I guess the guy who
had parked there was like a parking ride. He he
had taken the express bus into the city and parking
his car there. So as I'm giving the cops the account,
the express bus across the other street pulls over and
this guy gets out and he starts walking across the
street and he starts walking towards us, and the cops
like you gotta get away, and he goes he goes, no,

(20:57):
I don't, and he goes, that's my car. And then
I just looked at him and I had postive my
hand everything, and I just was like, I just looked
at he was fuming, and I just was like, I
didn't mean it. That's the only thing I can come
up with was that so that was horrible, right, So

(21:17):
now I have no car though, so I'm out a job.
And my boss was so nice at the time that
he's like, I'm not gonna let this happen to you.
And across the street from the pizzeria was a body
shop and we knew the guy there and he was
mostly a body shop, but he had some beater cars
like hoopie cars in the lot and he had like,

(21:38):
you know, he told tires on the side of that.
So he gave me. My boss paid for this and
said I could pay him back. He bought me a
Chevy Cavalier read station wagon Wow for five hundred and
fifty dollars, so I got that up and running. The
tires were bad, so he on tires that he had

(22:01):
in a lot, and there was two tires that weren't
the same as the other two tires. So like the
car when it rode, it was like kind of like
right like this. So there were times I was like, oh,
the good things happened to Like like one time a
woman didn't have money to tit me, so she just

(22:21):
she just took a shirt offs. Yeah. Tips, that's pretty
much what he just said. Tips. What is she ordered though,
let's hang on, I need to know cup size versus
what she ordered. I think it was. I think it
was a regular sheet, like it was just a pie

(22:43):
for sure, because she was just a cheese pizza. Yeah,
but don't remember what it was, just a poe because
that's what she ordered all the time. Like she was
she was pretty cool. She was like a little older
than probably she was like young twenties. She was always
like smoking again tips, that's acceptable, yeah, And she used
and she used to hit me really well, like back then,

(23:04):
five dollars was like a dunk. Like it was like
it was usually like the pizza was eight, the small
pizza was seven, the regular pizza was eight, so I
was hoping for the ten. So two dollars was like
I was hoping each time, but I would get a
dollar or nothing plenty, So five was crazy. And she
used always tip me five. So I would love going there,
like I would prioritize the routes based on tips without

(23:26):
a doubt, like I knew that thing like the same man.
But when I got there, she's like, I'm so sorry,
I don't have anything to give to you today. But
and she just opened a rope and I was like,
I just didn't even know what well, you know what.
I'm gonna save that question for scammer the week. Let's
go to the break. The homie Arado a k A
ride for short is gonna drive this show off the
rails real fast, and then they're gonna get back to

(23:48):
the homie Salve O'Connor telling delivered tales. Let me tell
you about a woman. She's dead now so I could
use her name. Fuck legal, her name is, and she's
lived on road in for Alabama. I'm the job Fair.

(24:09):
We'll be right back. Job Fair got the home. Sal
Vacano standing by for scam of the week. We need
to get into a little bit more about the scam

(24:30):
of delivering food and what I used to do to
people when I knew they wasn't gonna tip. And you
have the audacity to order from the same place again.
You're a bold motherfucker if you're not gonna tip and
then gonna order again. You think I'm not gonna eat
some of your food? Motherfucker? How long ago was that
a little angry stiel. I don't let ship go. That's

(24:52):
not healthy. You don't talk to counselors, that's not where
you go to counselor. I don't believe the squashing beef.
I don't squash the peop used to just squash ice cream.
But go ahead. Yeah, as I try to calm down,
we bring on the brother whose job it is to
always become cool and collected. If you're traversing around Middle Tennessee,

(25:14):
it's a little warm outside sundressed season. If you want
to cross path with this man, get on outside there
and let the wind blow up your sun dressed Marlon
Monroe style and wait, poor up for glass of Evans Williams,
a little peanut butter whiskey. Set that right there down

(25:35):
at your feet, and he will appear. His mama named
him Naratto. We call him Rod for short rock. How
goes it? Brother? How are you doing? Let's what's going down?
I'm I'm feeling good. Everything's cool this way are y'all doing?
We're good man, just kicking back with a little June
tenth ice cream? You know, hey, man, give us free

(26:00):
and some sprinkles. See. We bring right on this program
to give you topics to break the ice with co
workers at your job because they ain't talking about ship
and y'all tired of staring at each other. So it's
rods chopped to sprewce up that work relationship. Rod What
you got on the table for us today? Well? Right now? Uh,

(26:26):
something going on in the black community that is heavily
related to equal opportunity and lack of discrimination. Happy Pride
Mom and a big shout out to a l g
B t q I, A plus pioneer. Saucy Santanna rapper
former makeup artists for the City Girls, broke into the

(26:48):
scene full of face of makeup, wearing ladies clothes, passing
themselvehones as a homosexual man got some nice jams. To
get over your homophobia and listen to Saucy santwn Know
that that boy can rap um Right now. Rumors floating
around that a woman in the shadows, it's saying she

(27:09):
is pregnant with his child. Okay, hers that he might
be bisexual. That if that is true, is that the
same as being out at she? We leave Danny Fernandez
back on this Bishop. It seems he's he's been seems

(27:31):
so let me make sure I'm following this. We have
we have someone who said, hey, I'm a gay man.
I'm a gay man. Gay man, gay man, gay man,
I love men. And then someone is coming out going
I'm pregnant with his baby. It's like the reverse scandal
of someone saying I'm his down little boyfriend, I love

(27:56):
my wife, I'm his boyfriend. So it's a reverse out
and it's an inning. Okay, I give it you saying okay,
he's been in, he's been in, rumors a swirler that
my man might be straight. Yeah. This woman says she's

(28:17):
a physical therapist, and they were They started out as
friends and then they hooked up about four times. And
she says she got pregnant the first time, but she's
not looking for him to help her raise the child.
A contributed anyway. He can if he'd like to, and
if he doesn't want to, then she won't. Now this

(28:38):
is how I know I'm old. I'm looking at pictures
of Saucy Santana. I thought this was just a TikTok
person that just had a lot of like charisma and swag.
And you're telling me there's a whole catalog of music
that I've been missing out on. That sauce in San
China was rapping, like I said, started out as the
makeup artist for the rap group The City Girls. Then

(28:58):
uh became a part of the what is the house
where the house Wives of hip Hop or whatever? The
fun loving hippop. Yeah, he was on that and now
he's rapping and like I said, you don't be a
homophobia and get with these bars. My man can wrap
there it is. He looked like, yeah, there's there's definitely

(29:18):
some similarities that all right, well, if you want to
bring that one up during prop month, but your co
workers go right ahead. That's a I do think if
you don't know about Saucy Santana, you don't need to
be bringing this up with nobody if you don't already
know who this art to say is, because you're gonna
sound crazy. Yeah, this is definitely for you, for white
people to talk about with their black co works. But
I disagree. I think this is for black people who

(29:38):
already have this software preinstalled. If you don't have the
Sauca Santana update, if you don't have the Saucy Santana
update already preinstalled in your brain and you don't already
know this person, don't you cracktice that you cracked this
open to man? Look, man, if I'm at working a
white person comes up and tell me about Saucy Santana.

(30:00):
My first thought is gonna be like, what the hell
are you really into? It's like, I need to know
because because this is its super inside baseball. You can
nail this conversation with a black co worker, You're gonna
get a bunch of Brannie points with them. Please believe.
Oh yeah, if you and send that story to us
to me, I need to know this story. I'm sorry,

(30:23):
let's flip it up real quick. Rock p s A
for black people to talk to white people about right now.
In the In the last couple of days, there has
been a rash of animal attacks on white people in
the wild. Please talk to workers about respecting the boundaries

(30:48):
of these albim There has so far in a week,
there has been a man malled to death by an
alligator in Florida while tried to retrieve a frisbee from
a lake. Really, yes, it happened at a disc off
course and they have signs up that say stay out
of the water, there's alligators and apparently frisbee is causing

(31:11):
nine thousand dollars now because he just couldn't let that
one have stay in the water. You can't do that. Um.
The COVID restrictions people are back out again, and it's
and the animals they didn't go. No, you gotta be
careful with that, all right, Florida gator? What else yellow

(31:31):
Stone National Park? Uh? Woman got too close to a bison,
got gordon tossed ten feet in the air. Uh. And
just like in Florida, Uh, they have signs everywhere telling
you stay the funk back from the bison, give them
that six d feet won't listen? Why would you? Why
would you walk upon a fucking bison? And then at

(31:52):
Australia a man was seen video running for his life
and you may have thought there was somebody with a
knife or a gun chasing him. Turned out it was
a kangaroo. Don't know what he did to that motherfucker's
but the kangaroo was hunting his hands down. My man
tripped up. The kangaroo pounce and they got into a
full blown fist fight. No kangaroo got the talents on

(32:16):
the feet and like Veilocras discovering it for bro, Bro,
you're getting up good strik your kid gone. Yeah, Like
the dude picked up a stick and started sweet like
they were going blow the blow, and the dude finally
had to do a takedown m m A style and

(32:39):
just sit on top of him till the kangaroo was
too tired to fight back, made him tamp out. White people,
watch yourself with these animals. Please stop trying to talk
to bears and fighting or a mine strouble for that
that hand, no bing me this man, it's top sucking up.

(33:00):
You can amazing, it's awesome. Yeah, it's pretty good. You
can talk to bikes in me. So don't talk to
bison like regularly. Like that's a bad idea. Don't don't.
That's all we're saying. J don't don't talk. This podcast
is Uncle Rod story Corner. You can get it wherever
you're listening to this podcast. Roight we bid your do
on this wonderful wonderful mid uh middle of the month.

(33:23):
Have a June teenth if you don't get a chance
to sit the happy Jill Tate bless up little saucy
Santana right there. Yea scam of the week time. Fine,
We welcome back to the show to Homi salv O'Connor.
He is one fourth of the Impractical Jokers and Tenderloins

(33:46):
on True TV. New season Congratulations kicked off earlier this year.
Another season they're putting in the clip right now. I
know that you all are doing a lot of different
projects now and you are a wonderful let me just
say it's in a side, wonderful stand up comedian as well,
in your own right. And in third I gotta give

(34:09):
Sal props because he's one. You remember when we were
talking about t I doing comedy, and we started talking
about bro Man from the Fifth Floor and Anthony Anderson
and he started doing stand up, and how Sal has
always respected the craft and has bit it off a
little bit at a time and a little bit of

(34:30):
the time and a little bit of the time and
now headlining coast to coast and doing a damn thing
on top of all of that TV production. So this
is the part of the show where we share scams
that we've seen run on the job or scams that
we ourselves have ran. I want to tell you a
story real quick from my food delivery days, and I

(34:51):
want you to tell me if you ever did this,
because you said something in the first break that piqued
my interests about how you prioritize how how you delivered
based on the tips. So in Birmingham there was this
spot called Steak Out, which was a state delivery company

(35:12):
in the mid nineties and the idea of having a
t bone steak delivered to your home was completely unheard
of at the time. Like, so this was the ship
third Like I was delivering steaks two doctors and fucking
I lived in Georgia. I know what the steak Out is, David, Okay, okay,

(35:34):
it was good to yeah, yeah, So I worked for
the competitor, much shittier place called Steak Express. Steak Express
was run by a decent man um I don't remember

(35:54):
his name. I think it was Randy, but he was
a decent guy. And the thing that Steak Expressed it
that annoyed me as a delivery drivers that they allowed
people to write checks. So there was this woman and
she would order six ounds steak tips medium well baked potato,

(36:17):
extra cheese, and it came to seven dollars and forty
one cent. And every time I delivered this goddamn steak
you stay tips, she had me your check for seven dollars,
not a penny more, not a penny less, not a

(36:39):
single tip. Now I'm not saying that everyone was will
to do within this area, but it was the will
to do. You know, you should tip me at least
two dollars side of town, even if you're gonna under
tip tip. So like you, like you said, sal, you
get familiar with the regulars. After about two weeks, three

(37:01):
nights a week, for two weeks, I'm delivering six sounds
steak tips, baked potato, extra cheese. Week three, I ate
two of him steak tips. I'm getting a different type
of tip, but you got it. I went in the

(37:23):
back one day and I fucking hollowed out the bottom
of her baked potato and framed it so it was
just a shell. It looked like a full baked potato.
But the moment you touched the top of it, that
ship was just gonna collapse in on the space that
I what did you do? What were your petty grievances

(37:43):
to get even with shitty tippers? Oh all right, so
he because you just reminded me this as you were speaking.
But so first, I mean, tips meant something, so I
would prioritize them. I was still I was still on
the up and up to I'd still try to get
every everybody swiftly, but like I would if there's someone
a dozen tip or tips, I'm always doing that, right So,

(38:04):
but I had my I had one. I don't know
her name was one though, and right you remember the
address I can live on pass what used to be
the old food world. You know where I'm talking about this.
This is the producer's note. Should would like to say

(38:25):
that we do not encourage swiding of anybody addresses to
look at any of these old people. Thank you very much.
If she ain't dead, where the fund is my money?
Play that for? Thank you? Let me get up to
the microphonestion she can hear hey, can you hear me? Now?

(38:45):
You fucking cheap motherfuck are you? It's all good to
you find out a nursing home waiting for you with
the robo h opening the door, or worst one of
her sons, who's a gun on it? About my god,
damn me, my, she's got opening a rope, she's gonna
lift up a pant leg, keep going sad. I'm sorry, no, no,

(39:11):
it was my so so um I did once in
a while, I did, Uh, I do Sunday so Sundays
I would do the whole day. So she ordered in
the daytime and she we used to have a minimum delivery,
but she wasn't too far from the place, so my
boss would let it slide. Um. It was like I
think it was like whatever. It was like an eight
dollar glory word. So every day, every time I worked

(39:33):
on Sunday, she would lead the same thing. She would
learn two Sicilian slices, one with pepperoni and a can
of coke and it would come to four okay. So
every single time I would go to live it to
her and I would ring the bell. First things first,
she would take two to four minutes to get to

(39:54):
the door, which is absurd. It's your turnover turn, yeah
it is, and so and she would be like I'll
be right there, like she let me know she was there,
but then she still wouldn't get you know, two or
three minutes. And I would always that was already that
from from right there. I was like, I don't like this.
And she did it consistently right and I would hear

(40:17):
just just coming over like slow to the door, and
then she would open the door. Her place was a mess.
She had a she had a I did this too,
but she had a a treadmill. She was an apartment.
It was on the ground level of garden apartment. She
had a treadmill in there that just had closed hanging.
She just hurked me. She was not clean, her teeth

(40:37):
were yellow. Uh, you know. She made me wait and
then she would give me four nine five every single week,
or it was no, sorry, it was four thirty five.
She would give change like four thirty five and then
you go like thank you, And I just had to
like eat it every time and just be like, you

(40:57):
made me wait two minutes. You know, you eat the
yellow and you you don't tip me. And so so
there was one time, a couple of times where she
would go, oh, you know what all I had is coins.
So then she started giving me. She started giving me
sixteen seventeen quarters and to die like or Nichols and

(41:21):
or you know, however many quarters you have and arrested
and she go, here's the one. She used to count
it out, and I had to hold my hand over
one too, so I would I would tell my I
would tell my boss and I would go, why do
you do this? Why do you take this one? And
say she doesn't mean the delivery minim, She doesn't tip me.
She holds me up. I hate her. Why do you

(41:42):
do this? And he's like, you know what it is?
What it is during the day, and she she she
orders a few times a week, just just thing, but
just shake it. Do me a favor, Just do me
the favor and deliver it. So one day I go
there and she makes you wait my two or three
minutes and he hold on. She gets the door, she
opens it and she goes here you go, and it
was like whatever. She hands me a Manila envelope. Okay,

(42:06):
and it's it weighs like like probably like a pound, right,
And I'm like, okay, So I don't even look at it, right,
I don't even look at it. I get in the
car in front of her. I get in the car.
I opened up. It's one hundred percent pennies my hand,
my hand, my hand, to god, there wasn't a nickel

(42:27):
in there, my hand to go sh She's four hundred
and five pennies in that so great, So I can't wait,
So I go back. I get to get to the pizzeria.
I walked in the door. My boss is behind the counter.
I just walked up and I took him and I

(42:49):
just nies and he was, what is that? And I go,
that's the lady you make me. She just made in
pennies exclusively. And he's like, I never seen this piece
before in my life. I've been here for fifteen years.
I never seen anything like that. I go, I know,
this is what I've been telling you. So he's like,
he goes, I can't. He gets on the phone. He

(43:10):
calls her, Hey, he goes, listen, I cannot accept. I
will never get rid of all these pennies. Like, I'm
gonna send this back to you and you pay me
the four you know when you can. I can't. I've
never see anything like this. He actually took a little
bit of a stern take with her. So okay, so
now I gotta bring him back. But before I bring
him back, I was like, I'm gonna count the pennies

(43:32):
because she said that's the one thing I forgot to say.
When she handed me the pennies for the first time ever,
for the first time ever, she said there's a little
something in there for you. For the first time, my
mind exploded because I'm holding the two pounds of coin
of us like currency, and she's saying that to what
is going to be in there for me, so I said,
I gotta count before I bring him back. I counted

(43:53):
it out and it was five cents five pennies extra
in there. Look at it. She loved you. So here's
what I did. I'm not proud of it. It was
the first and only time in all my years I
worked in restaurants bars I deliver. I never did anything
like this ever, ever, ever, ever, ever ever. The next

(44:17):
delivered to her, I took the slices out and I
just stood on them and I just rubbed it into
the sluice. I don't know if I'm proud or ashamed.
I'm disgusted. It's it's it's it's shame, but it was earned.
More often than that, our food service brethren's are put

(44:37):
in rocking heart places and being treated like ship. And
you can't be like treating people like ship and then
still eating whatever the food appreciate. It ain't nothing wrong
with licking somebody slice. She ain't do you have you?
Did you have her peas in the mouth at the time? No? No, no, okay,
you don't have like koala germs in your mouth? Do

(44:58):
you not? On the way, I'm on the way I'm clear.
I'm clear, all right. Where as long as you're giving
about the media from spitting on the pizza, you're good.
I really, as I looked at it, I took a beat,
and I was like, is this me? Is this me?
But like she just gotta say I arrived, and so
I just said, I'm doing it. I'm doing I need

(45:18):
something inside because this woman's crushing my soul. I'm okay.
I can see that. I can see the whole extensive
is um like scenario playing out in his head as
he's walking up. Am I this guy and what you're doing?
Not not here he goes. But but that takes a lot.
That takes a lot. You got a lot to lose
right now. You're a man on a well established television franchise,

(45:41):
and here you are, years later admitting to lick in
somebody pizza because it treats you like ship for a
whole summer. They might, I mean, I might open up.
God knows. They go back and they get you. They
look for stuff. They do go back. You need to
we'll bleep out her address because you did say the
address earlier. So I bleep out that party plus years ago.
Leave that address in it's okay, all rights, not cutting it.

(46:06):
All right, hold on hold that thought. We're gonna we're
gonna come back to you after the break. We're gonna
wrap it up with the Homie Salvacano and I want
to talk a little bit about your journey into becoming
being practical jokers and you know everything that that entailed
and how you all got down that path. This is
a job that would be right back, job fair bringing

(46:33):
it home the homie sal Volcano. He's on the show today.
Sal Let's talk a little bit. J G. You had
a question for I did all right, boy knows you well,
third watches you. I am getting to know you. Now.
You've got to tell me the ordained minister piece. How
did that come about? M Yeah, that I mean, that's

(46:58):
there's nothing much to that one that I couldn't um
My one of my best friends asked me to marry him,
and so I went online and I clicked a few buttons.
I got ordained by the Universal Life Church of the
Greater Majesta, California area in two thousand and three. And
I know, I actually know I had actually I did

(47:20):
that on my own just for the fun of it.
And then in two thousand eleven, eight years later. See,
I know because they I printed out the certificate in
my print and I've since married nine people. Oh that's dope,
that's dope. You don't have to give sermons though, right,
I do the full I do the full ceremony. I

(47:40):
don't know if no, no, no no, that's not what I'm
asking you, sad. What I'm saying is you don't. You
don't got to sit up on Saturday nights half drunk
and decided to write a speech for Sunday morning. That
that's That's what I'm saying. You don't know. I just
get to do the marriage ship, which is fun. But
I did research that for tax breaks, but it ain't happen.
Do you do exorcisms, exorcisms and the extra scisms you

(48:00):
get exorcisms? I am low level reverence, damn I got.
I just have an I D. Number that I could
put on a piece of paper for you. And I
ain't gonna lie. Man if I if I if I
got the reverend thing, I tell people I could do
exorcisms even if I couldn't that it just seems like
some money in there. I don't know talk about that
might be a good one to do. Just thank you
down South Georgia girl. The standard fee for a wedding

(48:23):
officiant usually ranges from five hundred to eight Some civil
officials charge more for add ons, such as custom ceremony scripts,
pre marital accounting, or appearing at the rehearsal. As we
get ready to get you out of here, brother, I
know that you are, you know, still working on you know,

(48:46):
the new season of Impractical Jokers, But if you could
just briefly talk to us about I guess talk what
did it mean in the struggle years before true TV
got on board with what you all were doing, because
there's something genuine about you in the game that it's

(49:09):
not the show is not cast in that sense. And
I think that's another reason why this show has worked
for so many years, is that it is for legitimate
friends who really are fucking cool with each other and
who really do keep in touch in the off season.
It was that having friends did that helped keep your

(49:30):
spirits up? Because TV and entertainment is a weird fucking bag, bro,
where it's a lot of is this going to happen?
Should I keep doing this? And when those thoughts enter
your head, did it help to have other people around
you or was that more of a detriment to your

(49:51):
psyche at that time? No, I would say it definitely helped. Um. Yeah, man.
So we met as when we were thirteen. Um it
was we all met. We went to the same high
school in the same age, so we met like the
first year. So this June will be thirty two years
we know each other. Um. And in high school we

(50:12):
did comedy together, uh, improv and sketch, and then we
went to separate ways. And then after college we met
up with each other and we were all still doing it,
and so we decided to try to start doing it together.
That was so we started doing rehearsals in my friend's
mom's basement three nights a week. Uh. And we did

(50:34):
that for six months, three nights a week before we
ever put up a show. Um. And we would tape
the rehearsals on like a big old eight like a
VHS recorded like a those old cameras you know. Oh,
I know, I had a six tape on one at
others keep going. So we would take the rehearsals and

(50:54):
then we like rehearsal like we do two to three
hours a night. And then we would put the tape
in the thing, rewind it, and then watch our own
rehearsal and like pause it and be like you couldn't
we could have done that better. We could have done
that better, and we sucked. But I mean like we
we did that for six, three nights a week for

(51:16):
six months. Then we put up our first show March
four two. I'm sure if I look, and I have
every show recorded, um, and I went back and looked
at it, and you know, it's not good or whatever.
But but like our family came out and we kept
doing it. We kept going at it. We were to
do it like at least four shows a month, and
we put up ourselves so at these black box theaters,

(51:36):
we sell the tickets, we do everything. And that's in
two thousand you promote y'all had to print flyers, y'all
put how did y'all go from how did y'all go
from taping each other and doing these improv things to
to to impractical jokers? Because like to me, and yes,
I will openly admit j G and I am a
fan of impractical jokers. I've said this to him before

(51:58):
we even started at freaked Out when we saw it,
But that's not the point. How do you go from
doing like improv in the garage to doing these because
like that's that's that. It doesn't seem practice. You know
each other, that much is apparent, but like that, how
do you how do you go from from one to
the other. It's nothing but a grind until until an

(52:20):
opportunity you take. I mean we we well, he just said.
We used to print out flyers and then go to
the mall and put out like five hundred six hundred flyers,
go to the city literally literal places with flyers to
get people to come to our show. And we started
getting We started doing crazy stuff too, were like, maybe
we should also do sketches. So we had the video camera.

(52:41):
So we started writing these short films and filming them
with casting our friends, borrowing favors from everybody, and then
my friend learns how to edit, and then we go
and we go to Costco and buy a thirty two
inch tube television. Every month when we had the show
in the city and we drive my friend's dad's truck,
we draw drive it up, walked a thirty two inch

(53:02):
two television up like five fight the steps in this
fifty five seed. We did a hundred seat theater and
we put it up and hook up the VCR so
we could show them the short film on VHS so
they could watch it because there wasn't a project there,
and we did it because Costco let you return everything,
no questions asked, So once a month we brought a
third once a month for like nine months, we brought

(53:23):
a thirty two inch to television. That's awesome doing that
with doing that um and then we decided in two
thousand six, seven years later, to start filming sketches again.
We started to get a little more depth and in
one of them want to Act Right screenplays, we were
doing all that kind of thing, and there was a
contest online that was just like we had filmed a
short film where I played a superhero that they were

(53:45):
making a documentary on and there was a contest online
through NBC that they had themes and they would put
out the theme and then you could upload a short
a sketch to it right, and then the literally online
would vote and if you want, you can win a
thousand dollars. And my friend's wife sent me this links
because you guys should try this, and one of them,
the superhero doctor. We made kind of fitted, so we

(54:08):
just uploaded it and we won a thousand dollars and
we're like, what, how how we blew our minds? So
then this was a weekly thing called It's Your Show,
and it was gonna turn into an actual show on
NBC hosted by Carson Daily about finding the best sketch
comedy troops in the country and this was their way
of getting talent for cheap and coming in so they

(54:30):
were doing at least one or two genres a week.
So we started making short films at a rate of
one to two short films a week, and we were
uploading them to the server and we were winning, and
we ended up winning eleven of them total, which was
eleven thousand dollars, and we started getting a little bit
of a fan base. And then they pulled four or

(54:53):
five other troops from this thing over like months and
months that they thought did the best. We were one
of the five, and they actually had a full studio
glossy almost like deal and o'deal. It didn't make any
sense now, I think that Carson dally hosted. They brought
in an audience and they took one of the best
of each of our sketches. They didn't fly us in,
but they played him and the audience voting and it

(55:13):
was the pilot episode and the winner was gonna win
one hundred thousand dollars. Wow, what I swear to God.
So we didn't even go. We got the call. We won. Wow.
The show that never makes it to air pass the
pilot phase. But it doesn't matter. We won, and so
they had to pay us. Give me my money, so

(55:33):
they pay us a hundred grand I got my Joe's
sister was an accountant to like law into that ship.
I paid no taxes on it. So the producers from
that television show asked us that we'd like to do
a project with them. We said yes. We developed a
single camera sitcom about ourselves, and then their agents took
us on as as clients. And then that agent left

(55:57):
and went to C. A. A. And took us with him,
and then we started pitching shows through him at through
him at CIA. They have to like six or seven
other failed projects we came up with jokers. We had
we had a week long, uh week long schedule of
meetings books for pitches, and we didn't have any pitches.
Like he called up one day and saying, let's pitch

(56:17):
next week. So we met dude three days before we
did this pitch. We met and didn't know the idea,
and we sat down at lunch at Royal Crown Bakery
in Staten Island on Oldtown Road, and we sat there
and we talked of like two or three ideas and
one was jokers. And we went the next night into
the city. The four of us went the next night
into Manhattan and we filmed about four or five bits

(56:39):
on our cell phones, hiding on our cell phones in
like a victorious secret in a movie theater, in a
saphora and on the street. And we could have understand,
this is felonious behavior. You could get arristed fucking around
like this at that time. Wow. Yeah, and and and
so we did it. We cut it together and when
we brought it in and we pitched MTZ, we pitched everybody.

(57:02):
MTV wanted to buy it, but they wanted to make
an a strip show every day of the week with
different contestants competing. And we said, we're not even on
it and we're just gonna sell it away, basically helping
that ridiculousness, basically ridiculousness yeah, like yeah, like what we're doing,
but like, well they stole our idea and made the
show anyway, because we went to true and we were like,

(57:23):
we were like, yeah, but we really want to like
we've been comedians for like a decade. We want to
try to get ourselves on it. We think that if
we're on, then we can anchor the show because people
will have a favorite to root floor and is a
competition that extends over the course that they didn't want
to hear any of it. True TV was like, that's
exactly what I want to do. Don't go with them,
and they go she goes, is it MTV? Is it MTV?
They maybe you have to be like yeah, She's like,

(57:45):
fuck MTV. She goes, I'll make you an offer right now.
She made us an offer in the room, she was like,
she brought other people and because she had tears coming
down on face when she watched it, so she brought
another people. They watch it again. They were crying so
hard that they had and we couldn't believe it, and
she was this is I want to start a deal
with you in the in the room, so it's kind
of crazy. And then MTV went and made this show
called Money from Strangers, which was our exact idea, and

(58:08):
we changed it a little bit for true. But in
the in the pilot, we were driving around in a van,
pulling up in locations, almost like a kit and like
the voice of the van was Patrick Stewart was a
little different. But then there was all these challenges and
they literally did that. They got a van, they got
a host, and they would pull up and and challenge
people for money, and they did the whole thing. But anyway,
it didn't last long. But yeah, so that's that's like

(58:29):
how we got there. Really, I mean, that's a long
winded story you didn't ask for about how we got that.
That was awesome. And here we are two hundred and
fifty plus fucking episodes later. Here we are one theatrical

(58:50):
release later, here we are syndicated across the globe. Later
in this comedy that makes you motherfucking feel good? And
here you are touring, is I god damn comedian and
storyteller sound you have a hustless spirit from the days

(59:14):
turn the shitty asked car on two has it vehicle?
It made me feel good. I wish you could follow
me around and just talk to me. Like that coming
from you. You know, you're you're our god man, You're
like Roy is the best. There's nobody say I say
it in every conversation, every interview. Everything comedy isn't really big,

(59:36):
like isn't really like fair. And I know that Roy
is killing it. But Roy should be known by everybody
on this planet. And when the conversation happens right now
about who's the goat and who's the best, and who's
doing this the body of work that he's built, Roy
is I put Roy up against anybody. I say it
every chance I get, if you watch interviews with me,

(59:56):
I say that so for for me, for Roy, and
Roy like you know, would do gigs with me, and
it's just so nice that he would do a gig
with me, you know, and and you know he's he's
just up here, you know. So for him to even
give me the time and do these gigs with me
and them give me advice and just be a friend
like that to me in that supportable this time, it's
like what a friend I have in Roy is like

(01:00:17):
I can't even I can't get that anywhere else. So
I just I really think he's living. He can kill
in any room under any circumstance, don't matter what it is.
It is not easy to do that. It is not
easy to do that. And I'll tell you right now,
every comic feels the same way because we talked about it.
Royce John Fairs, a product of iHeart Media, Comedy Central
and Paramount Productions. We did it myself. O'cano is now

(01:00:43):
proud member of the End to End club with us
for the entire episode. A pleasure having you on, brother. Uh.
The new season of True TVs and Practical Jokers premiers
six June, the end of season nine, the last eight
episodes of season which we started before. Yeah, okay, and

(01:01:04):
then we started fas in ten in a week, so wow,
Jesus Christ. Okay, alright, but I might have to do
I might have to swing by and do that ship. Now.
I got enough job security Comedy Central. I can come
funk with you and not piss off nobody over here.
Oh yeah, like we've already I told you, like, we
want to book you to hostel episode you have me doing.
Don't have me eating no weird ship, man, That's the
only thing I ain't eating, no weird ship. You need

(01:01:26):
to have y'all need to have a joint. We y'all
have sitting out there eating that good old racism ice
cream for Walmart y'all telling him things to say in
his ears. Let people walk by in question eating the
ice cream. That would be a fucking hilarious jokers print.
Is it just have me getting white people to try join? Oh?

(01:01:47):
Test test audience? What do you do like if you
have those tests groups? Focus groups? Yeah, you do the
focus group? Oh yeah, that'd be great. All right, we
gotta get out of here, man, Thank you sir. Yeah,
come see me on tour Salvolkanda Colmy dot com and
uh I got I got two podcasts. I did one
called hey Day and once Falled tase Bug and they're funny.
Check ship. Yeah, just did the egg chair. Lets I

(01:02:13):
love your brother, Love me to thank This has been
a Comedy Central podcast