Are the Nerds Taking Over?

In episode 13, Gandhi talks to comedian, Jared Freid about dating, life on the apps, and advice for Diamond. Producer Andrew has an entry into the Burn Book, another round of Ask me Anything!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:05):
How how crazy different does it sound with the indizzel line.

Speaker 2 (00:09):
It's not. There's maybe one or two words that have
caught it on, but like.

Speaker 1 (00:13):
Theory, yes yesterday, that's a tough one.

Speaker 3 (00:18):
No, honestly, you are not a nice person. You're not.
And the fact that you crack yourself.

Speaker 1 (00:29):
All right, it's sauce on the side. And if you
hear me sounding a little bit differently, it's because I
got in bizil line and it's really tough to talk sometimes.
Can I also just say so when I got these
I came into the studio, I read the news, I
did a whole show. Nobody noticed you two assholes as

(00:50):
soon as I encountered you. I was at the gym
with Andrew yesterday and he was like, you got a
missil line. I said, what can you hear? What's going on?
He's like yeah. And then when I saw Diamond, probably
after ten seconds of talking to her, she goes, oh
m G and his line. You two notice immediately these
people that I'm in here with for five hours every day,

(01:11):
they didn't notice crazy.

Speaker 3 (01:13):
Let you know who really cares about you.

Speaker 1 (01:15):
I love you guys, thanks, and I'm really excited about
our guest today because I think he's pretty funny Jared Freed.
If you don't follow him already online, you definitely should,
at least on Instagram at Jared Freed. But I don't
want to hype him up anymore. Then he needs to
be hyped up. I just want him to come in
and do his thing. Let's bring him in, all right,

(01:37):
Jared Freed one of my favorite comedians online and just
in general. I actually met you back in Boston. I
know you don't remember me, but I totally remember.

Speaker 4 (01:43):
I do remember it. Wow, we were at a kiss
one a way. Yeah, I remember.

Speaker 5 (01:48):
It was way back with pandemic days.

Speaker 1 (01:52):
Call TikTok before TikTok.

Speaker 5 (01:54):
Yeah, I'm one hundred years old. It's great to see you.
It's great to see look at you in the big leagues.
This is New York City, baby, I love it.

Speaker 3 (02:03):
It was great.

Speaker 1 (02:03):
Boston was awesome. You're originally from that area from.

Speaker 5 (02:06):
Outside of Boston, Okay, so I'm from Needham and uh,
but I you know, I move here after college, so
now you know, you know, it's weird to say sixteen
years since moving to New York from I went to
Penn State, so like, you know.

Speaker 1 (02:21):
I'm almost I do want to talk about that.

Speaker 5 (02:22):
Okay, I'm sorry, but you know, you go from you know,
I'm almost as long in New York as I was
in Needham. It's getting weird, you know. So yeah, it's
it's great to be here with you.

Speaker 1 (02:35):
We'll brought you to New York straight out of college.

Speaker 5 (02:36):
I immediately I just wanted to be in New York.
I think, like I didn't know what I wanted to do,
but I knew that New York had entrepreneurial, hustling people
and women, you know, so yeah.

Speaker 4 (02:49):
Those two things we're going to get to that.

Speaker 5 (02:51):
Yeah, right, Like I was like, okay, you got you know,
people who want bigger, better things for themselves, people who
are here to like.

Speaker 4 (02:58):
Go at it, and hot women. You know. So it's like,
why wouldn't I want to be there? You know? So
I moved after college.

Speaker 5 (03:06):
I was selling life insurance and annuities, and it just
like I would never bash a profession because there's people
that like sometimes when you say you left, you know,
selling life insurance to do comedy, people like.

Speaker 4 (03:17):
You did it, you're co artists. And I'm like, no, no, no,
I wish I liked it as much as some people.
You know, I wish I was good at I wasn't
very good at it, and I wasn't. It wasn't for me.

Speaker 5 (03:27):
And comedy, like I was writing funny emails to friends
all day.

Speaker 4 (03:31):
And it was the time where like the group email
was the thing, like.

Speaker 5 (03:35):
Right, you write the group email that like with all
your pals, you know that were in the same position
as you. And I would make fun of my friends
and then someone will go off email to let me
know that my email made their day. Was they're laughing
at their desk. That was like a shot of adrenaline.
That was like a drug. And I was like, okay,
well how do I get that? You know, like how
do I get the feeling of making my friend laugh

(03:57):
in the middle of the day all the time? And
so I started, you know, writing online and doing open mics.
And you're in New York City. Every scene is here.
There's a restaurant scene, there's a comedy scene, there's a
radio scene, there's a there's a finance scene. You know,
there's a it's all here, and all you have to
do is look for it because it's in. You don't

(04:18):
know it's here until you look seek it out, you know,
Like so I knew comedy was here. I knew there
were clubs, but then you go seek it out. I
started taking you know, improv classes and sketch.

Speaker 1 (04:27):
Right, we were talking about taking improv classes.

Speaker 5 (04:29):
I did open mics every night, and you know, it
became an obsession, Like I truly am obsessed with finding
ways and finding new bits, seeing people, like making people laugh.
And I started doing podcasting.

Speaker 1 (04:41):
Yeah, you have like a million podcasts.

Speaker 4 (04:43):
I never shut up. I have so many podcasts.

Speaker 5 (04:47):
Well, I started doing podcasts over a decade ago when
it was like, you know, even then, people are going
everyone has a podcast, and it's like, you know, but
for me, I'm doing comedy and I'm seeing friends of
mine get cast in things, and I'm seeing some and
become writers, and like I you know, I was like,
my skill set is yeahpen, you know, like that's my
skill and gnawing on the bone of like the subjects

(05:10):
that are stupid. I could talk to someone about appetizers
for an.

Speaker 4 (05:14):
Hour and.

Speaker 5 (05:17):
Right I'm yelled at I've you know, these are all
part of the you know, my the JCU, the Jared
Cinematic universe, that's the thing. And I always thought like
I'll do all these things and someone might come along
and say, wow, look at all this funny stuff.

Speaker 4 (05:31):
Let's let's create a show around and let's do this, you.

Speaker 5 (05:34):
Know, And and that never really happened, but accept it
happened with people like now we live in a direct
to consumer marketplace as a comedian, and I was kind
of early to that game of like, hey, I'm gonna
make funny stuff. And but the reason was like hoping
like NBC would come along. But now because of the Internet,
like you can come right to my page and laugh

(05:56):
with me every day.

Speaker 4 (05:57):
I I yell at the Bachelor.

Speaker 1 (05:59):
Okay, I tell you, you yelling at the Bachelor. You
tweeting your little slides of like happy New Year to
the person. Yes, those kill me. I have so many
questions for you about all of this. But I if
NBC did come along, now you're not gonna say no.

Speaker 4 (06:12):
Right, no, that's a thing, like let's talk.

Speaker 5 (06:15):
But you know this, this is the beauty of being
a comedian in twenty twenty four. Is like what I
love is that we're not we're not desperate. I have
three podcasts.

Speaker 1 (06:23):
You know right now, just if people are.

Speaker 5 (06:24):
With so the UU podcast is a modern dating podcast.
If you're out there dating, single, in a relationship. It
is the podcast for rational dating talk. And I know
you're going, well, you're you're a single, thirty nine year
old guy. Yeah, I'm the guy you're dealing with.

Speaker 4 (06:42):
I speak.

Speaker 5 (06:43):
I am ten percent away from every I'm an average dude.

Speaker 4 (06:48):
That's the thing. I'm not special.

Speaker 5 (06:49):
So when someone asks a dating question, I go, how
would I feel in this scenario?

Speaker 4 (06:53):
And I tell you how I would feel.

Speaker 5 (06:54):
And my dad always used to say to me, however
you feel, someone else feels. There's not you know, you're
not special. This is just your feeling, is not. I'm
not one hundred percent away from your boyfriend, the guy
you're seeing, the guy you're texting, I'm not, but I'm not.
I'm not one hundred percent on point with him, but
I'm within ten percent.

Speaker 3 (07:11):
You know.

Speaker 1 (07:11):
So.

Speaker 5 (07:12):
And that's the promise of the podcast, is that I
am so. And my co host is Jordana and Abraham
who started Betches the really yeah, the media company, the
huge media company. So uh, we have this great banter
on dating subjects. And again, like with TikTok and Instagram,
a lot of the dating things you see the snippets,
they're they're really to get you mad. They're not really

(07:33):
good advice. It's not really thoughtful.

Speaker 1 (07:36):
It's bad.

Speaker 4 (07:36):
It's it's actually bad for it, dom Pam.

Speaker 5 (07:40):
You know that's not helping your problem because what a
lot of people do with dating stuff and they want
to get past your issue and onto their own.

Speaker 4 (07:48):
Of course, yeah, like me, I want to talk about me.

Speaker 1 (07:50):
Wait, so are you doing that when people know I am.

Speaker 5 (07:53):
Into your stuff? Like I care more about your stuff
than my own. That's why I am single and thirty nine,
you know, so it's not a joke to us, like
the idea of like, oh, you know, the should I
text them back? Some people go, you know, we'll disregard
your feelings and anxieties about that. I would never do that.
I think that that's a great topic of conversation. So
the u A podcast Modern dating talked about in a

(08:15):
rational way, tough conversations had in a very safe space.

Speaker 1 (08:19):
So when you say in a rational way, where have
you seen it be talked about in irrational way?

Speaker 4 (08:27):
You know?

Speaker 5 (08:27):
You see people have I have no rules for dating.
I think if anyone's giving you a rule, they're trying
to sell you a book. They're trying to sell something
to you.

Speaker 3 (08:33):
I agree with.

Speaker 4 (08:34):
I think they're trying to fool you.

Speaker 1 (08:35):
I think rules are crazy. You can't fly the same
rule to every single person.

Speaker 5 (08:38):
Thank That's why we again rational. So like when someone
says you shouldn't text them back.

Speaker 1 (08:43):
At text, get out of here.

Speaker 4 (08:46):
Right, get out of here, that's crazy.

Speaker 1 (08:48):
It's harder to not communicate with somebody in twenty twenty
four than it is to communicate with them because you
have to got them on a zillion different platforms. You
can find somebody, you can see what they're doing. Look
up the last time they looked at a story, at
your story, when they're posting what they're liking, Like, it's
impossible not to reach out to someone.

Speaker 4 (09:05):
Listen. I totally agree.

Speaker 5 (09:07):
And here's the thing, Like, you know there's a there's
a female yearn that I've come to find out via
the podcast You want to Be Women want to be chased, Okay,
they want to feel wanted.

Speaker 1 (09:19):
Only by someone they want, right, Yes, you don't want
to be like chased in a in a dark alley
type of way, chas or like the guy that just
shows up outside your apartment, like get the fuck out
of here?

Speaker 4 (09:30):
Who are you unless they're cute and you're like, okay,
thank you for showing up.

Speaker 1 (09:33):
The difference between creepy and romantic very thin line.

Speaker 4 (09:36):
But here's the thing.

Speaker 5 (09:37):
It's the you know you want this, this person who
sees you and plucks you out of obscurity. It's very
rom commy. What I find with a lot of the
women that write in is that they insert the word
confused instead of turned off. Okay, and it's like, I'm
so confused. No, you're turned off by this behavior and

(10:00):
I need to let you know. And they're afraid to
let this person out because maybe then they'll stop chasing me. Well,
that's the thing. You have to be, you know, fearless.
But that's easier said than done. I think like when
it comes to dating, it's like these rules are put
in place to protect your emotional state. So when you
say I won't text back in three days, then at
least when they didn't text you for three days, you go,

(10:23):
that's it. They don't like me, goodbye, chop my head off.
But right, right, right, women want their heads chopped off.
They don't want and men love vague relationships. Ask a
guy if he's in a relationship. If he's dating someone,
it just sounds like he's coffee.

Speaker 4 (10:40):
He's like, oh.

Speaker 1 (10:44):
Right now, and be like, are you in a relationship?

Speaker 5 (10:45):
If I ran up to him are you in a relationship?
How quickly would he say yes?

Speaker 4 (10:49):
You know, like I think he would.

Speaker 1 (10:50):
Say yes pretty quickly. But now I want to find out?

Speaker 5 (10:52):
Now we want to that's a good prank call. Show
that boyfriends, you should do it well.

Speaker 4 (10:56):
I see the comedy shows. Hey, you know you see
a group of guys and you're like, okay, So someone
would be disappointed by this response, right?

Speaker 1 (11:07):
Is there someone who would be mad at me if
I sent you a nude question?

Speaker 5 (11:11):
So that's the UO podcast talking about dating in a
rational way. And then I do The Bachelor, which is
a bacher's podcast, just going over the Bachelor. The Bachelor,
we recap all the Bachelor episodes.

Speaker 1 (11:23):
I've seen some of yourself. Why why are you so
obsessed with the Bachelor? Where did this begin?

Speaker 5 (11:27):
I think it's great? I think, well, here's the thing.
The Bachelor's like professional wrestling. Okay, professional wrestling. We know
that the outcome is scripted, but you got to take
the bumps along the way. You can't fake jumping off
the top rope and hitting the mat. The same way
you can't fake first date, first kiss, asking someone out,

(11:48):
dumping someone.

Speaker 4 (11:49):
Those are all things you see on The Bachelor.

Speaker 5 (11:51):
You can't fake jealousy, you can't fake a competition, and
it's all.

Speaker 1 (11:56):
There and that is genuine. I have never watched it.

Speaker 4 (11:59):
I do you think it's genuine?

Speaker 5 (11:59):
I think, like, I think they're putting a Petri dish
and then we That's what reality TV is like when
people are like it's fake. It's like, what show are
you watching that's not fake?

Speaker 1 (12:08):
Right?

Speaker 5 (12:08):
You know, like, what do you think Bostin's Creek was?
This was a real story, Like you know this.

Speaker 4 (12:15):
Is they're putting a Petri dish.

Speaker 5 (12:17):
And then the people are the variables, they're the you know,
they're the things jump bouncing off of each other and
we get to watch it's all fun and games. Though,
Like I've met a lot of the contestants and they
all say the same thing. They all go, You're in
this bubble and you kind of like you fall into it.
You can't believe that you're going along in this thing.

Speaker 1 (12:41):
But it is real, right because in real life, on
what planet would you ever battle twenty five other dudes
to go on one day with some girl even though
I guess technically yeah, that all the time.

Speaker 4 (12:51):
Yeah, why would.

Speaker 1 (12:52):
You do that? That's crazy? Okay, So you've got that
podcast about and then The Bachelor.

Speaker 5 (12:57):
The Bachelor and then the J Train podcast is like
basically like Spice of Life. We give it email advice.
We we give emailers advice. We do this thing called
the Luxury Lounge where you're allowed to complain about anything
you want and I'll complain with you.

Speaker 1 (13:09):
Oh that's like our burn book.

Speaker 4 (13:11):
There we go. You can you anything you want. All
complaints welcome, safe space for complaints.

Speaker 1 (13:16):
It's one of your favorite complaints.

Speaker 4 (13:17):
You can think my engagement rings too big, like the
actual rock is too big. I can't wear it out.

Speaker 5 (13:22):
I feel embarrassed, you know, And you go, yeah, that
is a problem. I can understand that, you know, like
I understand you gotta you got a big rock on
your finger. You're you're afraid of what people think of you,
you know, like the societal you know, stuff that goes
with that.

Speaker 4 (13:36):
Oh, you know, must be richy, life must be easy.

Speaker 1 (13:40):
Yeah, all of those things. Immediately, if I saw someone
and if they were like, it's too big, it's really
running out right.

Speaker 5 (13:46):
They can't tell anybody that come to luxury Lounge, right,
it's the only place you can say that out loud,
and someone me will go, you are right.

Speaker 1 (13:55):
Always everyone's bullshit everyone.

Speaker 4 (13:58):
Because I'm a complainer. I loved complain.

Speaker 5 (14:01):
And when someone goes there's bigger issues, I'm like, yeah,
I don't think anyone's complaining not realizing that there's children starving,
Like that's a crazy person. And you know it was
birth from the pandemic because what people were doing is
you weren't allowed to have any other problem other than
my grandma's dying from COVID, like that was the only
problem you were allowed to have.

Speaker 4 (14:20):
And I'm like, listen, we can't do this to ourselves.
Come over here.

Speaker 5 (14:24):
I built the luxury lounge, my bare hands, leather bound books.
We got a good couch, we got the fire roll RAR,
and we got the piano going let's chalk it out.

Speaker 1 (14:34):
You know, now you either have to be somewhere. Someone
called in or wrote in and you were just like,
get the.

Speaker 5 (14:38):
Hell no, never, I will find you're a problem. To
give me a complain that you think is frivolous.

Speaker 1 (14:44):
I'll agree with you, Okay. I worked with the guy
one time who was complaining that he cut his finger
on the lobster shell of the lobster at his giant
lobster fiece that he had the night before his beach house.

Speaker 4 (14:56):
And so right, shut off. He's so right. If you're
that rich, that means it's a catered affair.

Speaker 5 (15:02):
That means they should be cracking the lobster for you.

Speaker 4 (15:06):
Okay.

Speaker 5 (15:07):
And problem this is he's right because what catering company
is like, we're gonna do thirty lobster's great. They should
have someone going through doing a slight crack. And you
know when they do the crack for you, they leave
it on so that you can feel like you're the
muscle bound warrior.

Speaker 4 (15:24):
He's missed out on that.

Speaker 5 (15:25):
Now he has to doubt himself as a man, and
he cut himself. So this catering company not only didn't
do the whole job, but they also made him doubt
his manhood and his ability to provide.

Speaker 1 (15:38):
For his really are a problem, it's you you're the
problem or.

Speaker 4 (15:41):
I'm the solution.

Speaker 5 (15:43):
So the J Train podcast we do that. We talk
about like you know, current events pop culture. I play
a game called am I Crazy?

Speaker 4 (15:49):
Dog? I let people go am I Crazy? For what's
going on?

Speaker 5 (15:52):
Like you tell me this week if I'm if I'm
looking back, Like there's like restaurant clubs.

Speaker 4 (15:58):
That are popping up now. Yeah, and you can't.

Speaker 5 (16:00):
Get into restaurants now because they're like actually private dining rooms.
And I was taking, you know, just the idea of that,
Like where's society going? And there's a guy that created
Rezi who now is creating an app where you build
points with restaurants to become like a preferred customer like
you would with Delta. Do I want a society that

(16:24):
has gotten rid of charm because charming people used to
get preferential restaurant you know. Treatment there's a famous Seinfeld
episode the Chinese restaurant where they're waiting to get in
and they're waiting, they're waiting, this guy walks in, older man.

Speaker 4 (16:40):
He goes, he's like, you know, mister Chen, and like
the guy working at the Chinese restaurant.

Speaker 5 (16:44):
Goes mister Bloomberg and he walks him right by George
and Jerry and the gang, and then he goes, what
are you talking? Wait a minute, we've been waiting. He goes,
that's mister Bloomberg. And it's like, I understand that because
mister Bloomberg has been coming there for years.

Speaker 4 (16:57):
It's nice to the wait staff.

Speaker 5 (16:58):
They like him and has made the effort to be
charming with the wait staff. That's what got him preferential
treatment over George and Jerry and Elaine. And it's like,
now we're creating these apps to make it so you
get the same treatment without having the ability to talk
to people. And that's what dating apps are.

Speaker 1 (17:18):
So let me ask you this. Yeah, this is my
theory on all of these things. Yeah, it's ruining evolution.

Speaker 4 (17:24):
I agree with you.

Speaker 5 (17:25):
I think, you know, maybe evolution is not having to
talk to people. You know, I don't know what evolution
is just evolving. We don't know what it is evolving
to better or worse? Are we evolving into something that
the nerds wanted?

Speaker 3 (17:38):
You know?

Speaker 5 (17:39):
We are, well, the nerds are creating a more comfortable
world for themselves. And I'm saying this in a very
I hope the word nerd doesn't come off as offensive.

Speaker 4 (17:46):
I mean, well, I think we're all nerds for things,
you know.

Speaker 5 (17:51):
So I would say people with low interpersonal skills are are.

Speaker 4 (17:57):
Mostly people who create tech.

Speaker 5 (18:00):
Yeah, and they're creating worlds where I because on a
dating app you never get turned down. You ever notice
that on a dating app, you swipe right, I like them,
you swipe left, I don't like them. Okay, when you
swipe left, goodbye, get out of my life. When you
swipe right, sometimes right away, matchap yes, and you go well,
then you go you go boom, look at me, let

(18:22):
me see what I caught. Now if you swipe right,
nothing happens. You go, well, I guess they haven't.

Speaker 4 (18:28):
Seen me yet. So you never get turned down. You
never hear back from the person you swipe right that
looked at your picture went so. So this is the
This is what people.

Speaker 5 (18:39):
Who didn't want to go up to women because these
apps were like these apps were created by men, men
who were like, damn it, here's my problem.

Speaker 4 (18:49):
I gotta go up to women to be able to
fuck you.

Speaker 1 (18:51):
Do you have to talk to them at least a lot.

Speaker 3 (18:53):
I have to talk to it.

Speaker 4 (18:55):
I gotta talk to them. I gotta talk it out.

Speaker 5 (18:57):
The pain is hearing someone look at me and go oh, so,
how do I get rid of the And that's what
dating apps did. And now when I look at these
restaurant apps that are like, I want to get rid
of the hey, what's your name? Or I want to
get rid of going back to a restaurant over and
over again and creating a relationship over time. And I
am birthed. I am from salesman Jews. So there's like

(19:21):
doctor Jews.

Speaker 4 (19:23):
And then there's a salesman Jewsky. I am from salesman Jews.
So charm is kind of our secret sauce.

Speaker 1 (19:31):
Oh, they're taking it from you.

Speaker 5 (19:32):
I do feel that I'm being kicked out of society
a little bit. I mean, there's a coffee shop near
me in the West Village that I love. I love it,
and it's called I love it so much I forgot
its name Blackstone. I can't say enough nice things about
this coffee shop. And on a beautiful day, if you're

(19:53):
in the West Village, you will go there and be
very happy.

Speaker 4 (19:56):
You win.

Speaker 5 (19:57):
It's family run and you walk in and the dad
there in the morning, and the two sons are there
in the afternoon, and the dad looks at everyone, Hey, cousin, hey, baby, hey, hey,
sonny hey, And he's got nicknames for everyone, and it's
funny because you go, man, I'm warmed by the sons
know me, the dad knows me. But they know everybody,

(20:17):
and that takes hard work, That takes making eye contact,
and like we've lost so much of that for sure.
You know, order on the app so you don't have
to talk to anyone. You come in there like like
a robber, you.

Speaker 1 (20:31):
Know, take your ba and listen.

Speaker 4 (20:33):
I know those people out there that go, I like
ordering on the app.

Speaker 5 (20:37):
I like that I don't have to wait. I like
the efficiency. It's hard to find that center balance, you know.

Speaker 1 (20:41):
So when I say I think that these apps are
ruining evolution, I'm saying strictly from a genetic standpoint, because
the biggest and the baddest and the most confident used
to go out meet people like them and breed, and
that carried on those genes. They kept populating the gene
pool right right now.

Speaker 5 (20:58):
Also, the dumbest two dummies would meet in the park too,
you know, so maybe we're helping. We're mixing dumb with
the even reasonable.

Speaker 1 (21:08):
But yeah, there's also the like, oh, people who never
should have pro created are now meeting each other and
they are procreating and those genes are also getting put
out into the world, and I'm just like, oh my god,
this is crazy.

Speaker 4 (21:19):
Right, it's hard because it's.

Speaker 1 (21:21):
Weird apparently now meeting people in real life.

Speaker 4 (21:23):
So it is.

Speaker 5 (21:24):
And you know, we did a mixer and even calling
it a mixer makes it sound horrific, you know, mixer.

Speaker 4 (21:30):
There wasn't a punch bowl. It wasn't the.

Speaker 5 (21:32):
Eighties, okay, but the podcast we had our own like
get together and it was wonderful. But and but it
took a lot of strength for those people me included
to show up, Like.

Speaker 3 (21:45):
Why for you?

Speaker 4 (21:47):
I was like a mixer. I was the one putting
it together for you to go.

Speaker 5 (21:52):
I was like, oh, there's gonna be a pain, there's
only gonna be losers and whatever. And I'm like, who
would go? And then I'm going? And it was great
and it was It felt so good to meet people
in person. The issue was finding men to go. You know,
men don't think they need help with dating. You know,
men are not interested in dating talk talk and generally,
I'm generally speaking, we have male fans, but I'm saying

(22:12):
generally men are not listening to dating talk, not going
over you know, the text that they're sending. That's why they,
you know, look so stupid on dating app. And also
men are not really like concern. They'll go what happen
when it happens. So it's hard to find men to
go to these events that are planned out.

Speaker 4 (22:28):
Because they go, I'm a guy, I'll go to the bar.

Speaker 5 (22:31):
I'll be fine, you know, Or they're texting someone that
they've been texting with.

Speaker 4 (22:36):
That is that's how situationships occur, you know.

Speaker 1 (22:38):
Yeah, everybody has that, even if you're in a relationship.

Speaker 4 (22:40):
Right, Oh do you I don't know.

Speaker 1 (22:42):
I don't know. I'm not talking about me. I'm saying
I hear about this man people I would never but
for you, you say you're thirty nine single? Why why
do you think that is?

Speaker 5 (22:52):
It's my fault, you know, it's I think you get
past a certain age. You know, when you meet younger,
you're growing up with someone, and then as you get older,
you grow up on your own and you're fine on
your own and you're happy in your life, and now
you're looking for someone that fits a very specific, weirdly
specific like set of parameters. Right, and and when I

(23:17):
think when you're younger, it's like play dough. Yeah, you know,
you can mess with someone, you become one ball with someone,
and then as you get older, puzzle piece, it's more rigid, and.

Speaker 4 (23:26):
So your bullsh is just it's not even right, it's
more just like, you know, I'm pretty good.

Speaker 5 (23:33):
You gotta be you gotta you gotta make me and
my you gotta make my phone better. Yeah, like I got.
And then as you get older, I think you're like
I could sit at the bar with a martini on
my own and I'm okay, and it's got to be
such a perfect situation.

Speaker 4 (23:48):
And then you get a little.

Speaker 5 (23:49):
Too precious, you know, you get you get too into
my perfect situation and you get too okay with like,
so I get a lot of the blame, like when
you get older and single, like and I think older
single people will agree with this, like they go, oh,
I like my life.

Speaker 4 (24:05):
People think, oh it's sad. No, no, no, I'm happy the.

Speaker 1 (24:08):
Happiest people I know. Right, you're not competing with another person,
you're competing with Do I like spending time with you
more than I like spending time with me? Right, which
is a no for me for most.

Speaker 4 (24:16):
Part of which is hard.

Speaker 5 (24:18):
Fine as you get old, because you know, because I
like spending time with me. I spend time with myself
in weird ways, you know, like go on sitting at
a bar having a martini doing the crossword.

Speaker 4 (24:28):
If I sat next to someone doing that, they'd be like, well,
what do you should we talk? I'd be like, no, no, no,
this is this is the playoff, is right?

Speaker 1 (24:44):
So you're happily single right now?

Speaker 4 (24:46):
Yeah, right now my life is very safe.

Speaker 5 (24:48):
And I think the only thing that could ruin my
life is a woman.

Speaker 1 (24:56):
I think a lot of people will agree, so like,
and I.

Speaker 4 (24:58):
Mean that well also loving women and wanting.

Speaker 5 (25:01):
A relationship, and it's the other way to.

Speaker 4 (25:04):
Right, I guess for me and for a woman it
would be a man.

Speaker 5 (25:07):
Yeah, you know, like the only thing that would ruin
a single person's life is a relationship, you know, so to.

Speaker 4 (25:12):
Say it more PC.

Speaker 5 (25:15):
Because it would be let's say I get in a relationship,
the work drives up.

Speaker 4 (25:20):
I have someone else looking at me going, so what
are you gonna do? We have two kids?

Speaker 5 (25:26):
Right, And I go and I'm like, well I guess
I'll you know, go and try to be funny again.

Speaker 4 (25:32):
They're like, well funny ain't funny enough.

Speaker 5 (25:35):
You know, that's right, like get you know, get real,
Like I live in a Lala Listen. Things are okay,
but I live in La La land.

Speaker 4 (25:43):
You know it's a great place to be. It's a
great place.

Speaker 1 (25:45):
I love it wonderful here.

Speaker 4 (25:47):
So I I you know that weighs on me, and
and that is hard.

Speaker 1 (25:52):
You're right. It does go from Plato when you're younger
to like, oh, we'll grow up together. We can hold
each other and it's gonna be great. So then you're
in your thirties, late thirties, whatever, and it's more like
a you have to find this exact thing, which I
think a lot of that is about reading through the
ick and the older you get, I think there's more
ick immediately for you. What is instant.

Speaker 4 (26:10):
I I don't think there's ick for men.

Speaker 1 (26:12):
Okay, nothing, There's nothing that you would just look at
a girl's Instagram page and be like, nah, man, I'm good.

Speaker 5 (26:17):
Well, because to me, the ick is everything's great and
they do one thing and you don't want to fuck
them ever?

Speaker 4 (26:24):
Is that what it is?

Speaker 3 (26:25):
Right?

Speaker 4 (26:26):
And and that's the way it was explained to me.

Speaker 5 (26:28):
Yeah, And in that premise, there's nothing a woman could
do that I'm attracted to that make me not want
to fuck, right, But that's kind of a male intuition.

Speaker 4 (26:41):
Fuck first, ask questions later.

Speaker 1 (26:43):
You think that's how you find yourself in really bad situations.

Speaker 4 (26:46):
Of course you do. Yes. Yeah, I'm not saying this
is smart.

Speaker 5 (26:51):
I'm just saying this is the men don't go on
dates that their penis doesn't agree to.

Speaker 4 (26:57):
So your penis and you look at each other, you go, oh,
should we go? Yes? You should?

Speaker 5 (27:03):
Now you go again. That's there's a positive way to
look at it. If you're on a date with a
guy he's attracted to you, there's no.

Speaker 1 (27:09):
There, it's just them not being attracted to you.

Speaker 5 (27:12):
Very few men say, well, i've been on four dates,
and I'm not sure.

Speaker 4 (27:17):
A lot of women say that all the time.

Speaker 5 (27:19):
Well, we've been on four dates and I'm still trying
to figure out if I'm into him or not.

Speaker 4 (27:24):
One woman's ick is another woman's husband. So it's just.

Speaker 1 (27:28):
So sad, which is the true. I know you're right,
you're right because.

Speaker 5 (27:32):
Women will go I went around the country asking women
their icks because I was doing.

Speaker 4 (27:36):
This bit yeah, and I had everything yelled at me.
Go to my Instagram. I have videos for days of
women yelling their cks me.

Speaker 1 (27:42):
I can name like twenty X off the top of
my head, and I'm trying to think, now is it
that I actually find it ichy? Or is it society
would tell me a ticky? I think I find it ichy?

Speaker 4 (27:49):
Well, did it happen to you? Yeah, you were on
a date?

Speaker 1 (27:52):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (27:52):
What was there?

Speaker 1 (27:54):
Commenting hateful things under celebrity Instagram pages? Right, you don't
know them? What are you doing?

Speaker 5 (28:00):
That's a crazy person. I also think, I I you know,
some woman could go I do that too, and that's yeah,
you know what I mean, Like, I I think that's
a I think, but I think that's also a thin
line between I and turnoff.

Speaker 4 (28:16):
X turn into quarks very quickly.

Speaker 1 (28:19):
If you're attracted to someone, right, so you don't have
any X. You have to have turnoffs then, right.

Speaker 4 (28:24):
I got turnoff?

Speaker 5 (28:25):
You know, ordering manes instead of appetizers, like I want
to have everything.

Speaker 4 (28:29):
On the menu. If you're like, no, I do mine,
you do yours?

Speaker 3 (28:31):
Now?

Speaker 4 (28:32):
That would Oh?

Speaker 3 (28:32):
I hate that.

Speaker 1 (28:33):
That's the worst. People who don't share their food. I'm like, oh,
we're not from the same same plan.

Speaker 4 (28:37):
You need to order a lot of everything.

Speaker 5 (28:39):
Yeah, yes, Okay, I like stuff like that, lack of
understanding and empathy from my side of why again the
luxury lounge.

Speaker 4 (28:47):
We'll bring it back to the big the luxury lounge.
You can't see.

Speaker 5 (28:49):
Why I'm complaining. You can't see where I'm coming from.
You can't understand why I'm so frustrated right now. I
think that's a big thing in a relationship like.

Speaker 1 (29:00):
You would be a dream boyfriend then, because whatever she's
complaining about, You're just gonna hear it, validate it, and
move right on, even if it's crazy.

Speaker 5 (29:06):
Right, well, listen, I would find the nugget that I
would agree with.

Speaker 1 (29:11):
When's the last time you were in a relationship.

Speaker 4 (29:14):
You know? Earlier?

Speaker 1 (29:16):
In your answer is just like what you said, I've.

Speaker 5 (29:23):
Been in stuff you know recently, and you know I
was happy. It was just again in those situations, it
was like this next step. There was something in my
stomach that wasn't letting me get to the next level,
and it felt really badly that it wasn't.

Speaker 1 (29:40):
Are you strictly apps like you use all the apps?

Speaker 4 (29:43):
I haven't been on the absence the summer really.

Speaker 1 (29:45):
Since the summer you made you were setting me up
like it was ten years no, so because.

Speaker 5 (29:49):
I was getting more and more serious with someone and
got off the apps and that was probably the last
thing I was in and then that didn't work out,
and then coming back to being single again, I was like,
I don't need them.

Speaker 4 (30:01):
I'm out. I'm a social person.

Speaker 5 (30:03):
Like yeah, to me, the apps were created as a
crutch for people who needed help being social.

Speaker 4 (30:08):
And again I'm saying.

Speaker 5 (30:09):
This as someone who did the apps for years, like
I'm not I do understand how they help people.

Speaker 1 (30:15):
I just feel like the apps will be so difficult
because you cannot tell if you have any chemistry with
somebody through a phone. You got to meet them.

Speaker 4 (30:21):
Well, you can call that. You know.

Speaker 1 (30:25):
That's not that real.

Speaker 4 (30:27):
It can't it cannot be real.

Speaker 1 (30:28):
Oh shit, Like I'm so much better on text than
I am in real life. It'll just be wildly disappointing
for someone to show.

Speaker 4 (30:34):
But me, me, I think it's well, here's the problem
is with dating apps.

Speaker 5 (30:39):
There's more, so you have more people, more disappointment, more highs,
more lows.

Speaker 4 (30:45):
It's just more.

Speaker 5 (30:47):
There's only so long we can talk on this app
before it's a little weird. We've hit an expiration in
your and then you're sitting there going did we text
well enough to make me want to leave the house
on a Thursday night? Was this texting better than laying
on my couch alone and watching the Bachelor? And watching
the Bachelor? And you're never going to teach someone over

(31:09):
a dating app, So like the minute you're like in
mode of like, if you're about to write to someone, hey,
you're not very talkative on here, you should unmatch them,
You're not going to teach that person. So I think
when we do dating app makeovers on the podcast. So
what I found to be the difference between men and
women and their dating profiles is that men look like

(31:29):
they're trying to rush a fraternity.

Speaker 4 (31:32):
They're trying to impress other.

Speaker 5 (31:33):
Men and right the fish thing, and they're trying to
like it looks like they're trying to get into a fraternity.

Speaker 4 (31:40):
They're trying to like impress other men.

Speaker 5 (31:42):
Women seem to make a profile where they kind of
hide in their own profile where they're lesser than they are.
So men try to be too much of them and
women try to be lesser of them, because you know,
I think that that's the fear. I think women would
be done right by being more bold than themselves the profile.
They'd be better serviced by making themselves more themselves on

(32:07):
the app, so that you turn people away.

Speaker 1 (32:11):
Because I've always said that scare people immediately put it
all out there.

Speaker 5 (32:15):
With dating, the hard part is the dating subjects. The
losers take over the conversation. Yeah, the normal people aren't
in the conversation. Those stories aren't as fun to tell.

Speaker 1 (32:28):
No, And I think that's actually what happens with social
media in general.

Speaker 5 (32:31):
The losers take over. Yeah again, a world created by
the nerds.

Speaker 1 (32:35):
They're rating supreme. It's true. They're gonna take over everything.
We're just gonna be given robots, making store chairs, never
going anywhere. That's right, So I'll leave We can leave
it on this. Our girl Diamond is out in the
dating world. She doesn't want to talk about. Just if
you could hit her with one piece of advice for
navigating the dating world, what would it be? She gets
the ache more than anyone I've ever met. We talked

(32:56):
about this.

Speaker 4 (32:56):
Are you on the apps?

Speaker 1 (32:58):
What app you want to come your phone?

Speaker 3 (33:03):
I guess I'm a hinger?

Speaker 4 (33:04):
Okay, yeah, but what's wrong with it?

Speaker 3 (33:08):
I don't find these people interesting?

Speaker 4 (33:10):
Okay?

Speaker 3 (33:11):
Like, it's just like, give me something more than the
fact that you make money in You can write a
sentence like, give me something.

Speaker 4 (33:18):
What are your hinge prompts?

Speaker 3 (33:21):
Oh, I don't know, but I'm horrible at that too. Wow.

Speaker 5 (33:25):
Hold on, you just said because I can't help the
people that are coming to your hinge profile because you
just said be interesting.

Speaker 4 (33:34):
And then I'm like, what are your hinge prompts? And
you go, I'm bad at that. Yeah, you get to
be interesting too.

Speaker 3 (33:40):
I love coffee in the jets.

Speaker 5 (33:41):
No, you gotta make them more interesting. Make your hinge
prompts more. You make them weird, make them the most
diamond they could ever be.

Speaker 4 (33:50):
It might not get you more matches.

Speaker 5 (33:52):
But it will get you better quality matches people that
will make you more excited. Or if you're gonna but
if you're gonna be on a app and not be
happy to be there, my advice is don't be you know,
don't come to the party and not dance and then
blame the party.

Speaker 1 (34:09):
You people to her.

Speaker 3 (34:12):
You met with people and they're like, yeah, so how
was your day, And I'm like it was great. I
give you a little bit of something and you don't
give me anything back, but.

Speaker 1 (34:22):
Gotta go.

Speaker 4 (34:22):
That's again more.

Speaker 5 (34:25):
That's the problem and the solution of dating apps is
that you get a lot of people. A lot of
people means you got to talk to everyone, which is annoying.
It's exhausting, bog you down. So I think that's a
big So take breaks to lead the apps if you're
not happy on them. Also make your prompts sow you
that it's weird.

Speaker 3 (34:45):
Can I help you with it? Sure?

Speaker 4 (34:47):
Read right now?

Speaker 3 (34:48):
You could do the whole Oh no, but I don't
have it like your phone, you don't have any prompt saying, like,
my prompts are very basic. Let's see typical Sunday Jim
football and housewives.

Speaker 4 (34:59):
The repeat, you gotta go more specific.

Speaker 3 (35:01):
I'm convinced that coffee is all you need in life
because it is. I go crazy.

Speaker 4 (35:09):
This is yeah, no, no, no, no, these are so vaine.

Speaker 5 (35:12):
But that could be anybody that's not you, that's not diamond,
No it is no.

Speaker 4 (35:16):
But what kind of coffee do you? How do you
take your coffee?

Speaker 3 (35:19):
It changes, which is why I can't guys ask me
how I was time? Oh my god, it changes, and
then I give them like the different things that well.

Speaker 4 (35:26):
When do you have your coffee? What specifically about coffee.

Speaker 3 (35:29):
Makes you keep coffee? If I could do an ivy
drip of coffee, I would what type of coffee?

Speaker 5 (35:34):
And it changes all the time. Yeah, I would get
away from coffee, damn, because when you go with changes,
then like where Because here's the thing about hinge prompts
is I want to look good too, so like I
want to come in with something interesting.

Speaker 4 (35:49):
I want to be excited by your prompts. You know,
it's it's a.

Speaker 5 (35:53):
Little bit of like hey, oh, like to me, if
I saw an interesting question, coffee is big part of
my life.

Speaker 4 (36:01):
How do you take it? Well, it changes what made today?
Like what you get today?

Speaker 3 (36:04):
I had today? Actually do you see this?

Speaker 1 (36:08):
Do you see this?

Speaker 5 (36:09):
This is like right, So it's like, you know, that's
a point where on the other side, I would go,
I'm trying. I'm trying whatever I And how does coffee
land get us into getting to know each other.

Speaker 3 (36:24):
We go on a coffee date? To me, that's super.

Speaker 5 (36:26):
Why But I also I don't know just but if
I can't if someone was like, well I had tea today,
well I don't want to go on a coffee day
with someone who's like not giving me much back.

Speaker 4 (36:36):
It goes both ways.

Speaker 3 (36:37):
But if I'm like, oh I had t today, I
switched it up a little bit. Okay, why we can
have a conversation with that the Jets. Who doesn't want
to clown me over being a Jets fan, Let's talk about.

Speaker 5 (36:46):
That's too argumentative. Sports gets too weird.

Speaker 1 (36:49):
I I.

Speaker 4 (36:54):
Very sever I just think like, you have to be
happy to be on the app. You have to like
be able to be impressed.

Speaker 3 (37:03):
And then.

Speaker 4 (37:06):
But not if the but that's kind of maybe the
apps aren't the place for you.

Speaker 3 (37:11):
Well, neither is going out, So what do we.

Speaker 1 (37:18):
But I feel like this is this is what I
see so much from from my friends anyway, It's not
unique to her. Of course you have you've been doing
this for a long time.

Speaker 5 (37:27):
But I think it's easy to like and fun to go, oh,
these apps suck. Everyone sucks, And then and then someone goes, yeah,
you're right, and oh we're all scratching each other's itch.
And then it's harder to be positive and a little
bit vulnerable on these things.

Speaker 4 (37:46):
And you know that's that's difficult.

Speaker 5 (37:48):
As someone who takes breaks from dating all the time,
that's the best thing I can do, because I don't
want to be like, listen someone if they're excited and
I'm not, I'm like, fuck, I'm the turn in the
punch bowl.

Speaker 3 (37:58):
You know.

Speaker 1 (37:59):
I always I feel like being happy and being happy
single and actually really being in love with yourself is
the most attractive thing. And when that happens, everything just
falls from the sky. And I think people think I'm
crazy for saying that because it sounds so like.

Speaker 4 (38:11):
It's very relationship be yeah, like Paullyanna. No, no, no, No,
that's so these are things that are said by people
in relationship.

Speaker 3 (38:18):
No.

Speaker 1 (38:18):
I would have said it when I was single too.
I swear, I swear, I swear it was good.

Speaker 2 (38:22):
I liked it.

Speaker 1 (38:23):
I liked being single. It was fun.

Speaker 2 (38:24):
But I get it.

Speaker 1 (38:25):
I just wanted you to help Diamond real quickly, see
if there was a profile makeover that she could have.
And I think that we found some things you can
work on.

Speaker 3 (38:31):
Clearly, I can't be helped. That's what I'm fair enough.

Speaker 1 (38:35):
We try, Diamond. So what's up next for you? Where
are you going?

Speaker 4 (38:38):
I'm on the road.

Speaker 5 (38:39):
I'm doing shows you here in the city. I do
shows in the city all the time I do the
comedy seller. I just did a big show at town Hall.

Speaker 3 (38:47):
But I.

Speaker 5 (38:49):
I'm on the road. I I'm doing a tour right now.
Where I'm doing it's the whole show is a story
about going to the beach with my family, Okay, And
I would love for people to go out. It's a
great show. I'm proud out of it. I'm in San Francisco, Pittsburgh, Columbus, Ohio,
Ohio one and only La New Orleans.

Speaker 1 (39:09):
Are you at the Funny Bone in Ohio?

Speaker 4 (39:11):
Yes, Okay, Columbus Funny Bone. It's great.

Speaker 5 (39:14):
Dallas, Nashville, Westhampton Beach, Milwaukee, Uh, Atlantic City, Newark, New Jersey.

Speaker 1 (39:22):
So how long is this tour?

Speaker 3 (39:24):
Like?

Speaker 1 (39:24):
How how packed are these?

Speaker 4 (39:25):
It feels like it never ends? So yeah, I'm I'm
I'm on the road.

Speaker 5 (39:32):
Jared Free dot com and then the Uup podcast is
every Wednesday and Sunday and Jared Freed on Instagram, The Wizard.

Speaker 4 (39:41):
Of Ha on TikTok.

Speaker 1 (39:44):
A lot of stuff. How do you keep track of this?

Speaker 4 (39:46):
I don't.

Speaker 1 (39:47):
Are you just twenty four or seven like buried in
your phone?

Speaker 4 (39:50):
Yeah? I just need uh, it's it's a lot. I
need a break. As you can see, I look tired.

Speaker 1 (39:56):
I'm like you tired.

Speaker 4 (39:57):
No, no, I'll take it.

Speaker 1 (40:00):
Okay, so Jared free dot com. They'll get all the
information that they want. But also Instagram TikTok. Are you
on Facebook with the book?

Speaker 5 (40:08):
Okay, I'm all over the place. I'm all, I'm all,
I'm everywhere. But I want people to come to my shows.
I think the stand up show right now, Like I
just just in Denver. I did six sold out shows.

Speaker 4 (40:17):
Wow, it was awesome. The the Oh and the special.
It's on Netflix. Go you can watch thirty seven single.

Speaker 5 (40:26):
Yeah, it's all about dating and body issues and breakups
and your body issues.

Speaker 3 (40:30):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (40:31):
I talk about body stuff all the time on sting.
So yeah, I think people it's a it's relatable. It's
highly relatable. So thirty seven single. It's on Netflix. If
you look up my name, it comes up.

Speaker 1 (40:41):
But yeah, you've grown so much since I first met you. Yeah,
in Boston it was awesome. Like I thought you were
so funny when you came in.

Speaker 4 (40:47):
It was great.

Speaker 1 (40:47):
But I love seeing this for you. Congratulations.

Speaker 4 (40:50):
It's great to see you here. This is this is
awesome for you. I love it.

Speaker 1 (40:53):
I have no complaints yet when I do, I will
call the launch. It'll be great. Thank you so much.
I really appreciate it.

Speaker 3 (41:09):
All right.

Speaker 1 (41:10):
Jared was awesome. I really liked him. He is very funny.
He does like to talk a lot, which we appreciate
on a podcast. Yes, it's very weird when they don't
want to talk. And I think, Diamond, we might have
helped to fix your profile. Sure he gave her advice
and she was like, no, I hear what you're saying.

Speaker 2 (41:27):
I reject it, Diamond being stubborn never never, always babes always.

Speaker 1 (41:32):
I heard from you, though, Andrew, that you might have
another addition to the burn book. I do, Okay.

Speaker 2 (41:37):
I know that this is probably past the season, but
I don't care because I had to file an extension.
If you know what I'm talking about, it's taxes.

Speaker 1 (41:48):
Oh, I had to do the same thing.

Speaker 2 (41:49):
I am sick and tired of these taxes. They know
how much I owe. I have to get forty six
thousand pieces of paper in order to send to somebody
to file the taxes. They say you could do it online,
but who understands any of the forms. No, I'm confused,
I'm bewildered, and I am over it.

Speaker 1 (42:06):
It's a sick, sick game m from the government.

Speaker 2 (42:10):
It is.

Speaker 1 (42:10):
They're like the mafia but worse. They're like, oh you
got something. Some of that's for me, you know, because
you live here.

Speaker 3 (42:17):
That's it.

Speaker 1 (42:18):
And if God forbid you're single and you make any
type of money, oh, you're fucked.

Speaker 2 (42:24):
I got to pay the accountant, I have to pay
the for my LLCs. I have to pay an annual
report fee for by. It's just there's so many things
that are happening, and I can't get all this paper in.

Speaker 1 (42:37):
Order, Like you literally have to pay money to pay money. Yes,
it's crazy and.

Speaker 2 (42:42):
It doesn't Oh that's what I don't understand, Like I.

Speaker 1 (42:44):
Should just like right, why can't you just tell me?

Speaker 2 (42:46):
Or do you have a security number? It's stupid how
much tax is happening.

Speaker 3 (42:52):
Absolutely, I'm over it.

Speaker 1 (42:53):
I feel you too, And I'm like, this is super
stressful and I feel like I'm gonna get in trouble
for something and I'm not even trying to do anything wrong.
Just if you know the answer, government, can you just
tell me that's all?

Speaker 2 (43:02):
Is it coming after me with a lawsuit and like
a threatening letter? Like my fear is always I'm getting
sent to prison for doing my tax is wrong.

Speaker 3 (43:10):
I have.

Speaker 2 (43:13):
Not guilty.

Speaker 1 (43:14):
Okay, oh yeah, Andrew Love can talk. You can't talk.

Speaker 3 (43:18):
Here we go, Here we go. I r s.

Speaker 1 (43:22):
Why do I feel like Diamond is the type of
person who had her taxes done in January?

Speaker 2 (43:26):
She probably did.

Speaker 3 (43:26):
Yeah, I get my taxes done every time that we're
on our winter vacation. I hate I have that whole week.
I stressed myself out early. And I know someone who
was automatically or immediately denied because someone else filed with
their social And that's like a huge fear of mine.
I go as early as possible. I don't have time
for that.

Speaker 1 (43:46):
And somebody sow your identity.

Speaker 3 (43:48):
Yes, absolutely, let's talk about that. The government. No, No,
that's who needs to be burned because I did right,
But they're not. I'm talking about social Security. They need
to be burned because they didn't take my allegation seriously.
Like and I'm like, they're like.

Speaker 1 (44:05):
Oh, what's not an allegation you actually got your ship.

Speaker 3 (44:08):
They're calling it an allegation because the people never got
away with actual money or like a car loan or
anything like that. They were applying for things but they
never got like the car, the house, the money from
a personal loan, like they didn't they deceive anything, but
they have my social So I'm like, that's a crime, babe, Like,

(44:29):
come on, oh, the only thing that we could tell
you is to follow police report. The police didn't give
a fuck either.

Speaker 4 (44:36):
I mean, I want me to do.

Speaker 1 (44:38):
This is nonsense. Hey, I r s you're burned. Oh stop,
Andrew always has wind.

Speaker 6 (44:47):
Everyone your noise again on three one two three, No, babes, no, no, no,
it's kind.

Speaker 2 (45:02):
Can't you like the nuclear cloud?

Speaker 3 (45:04):
No?

Speaker 1 (45:05):
No, I feel like I hear like a blast of water,
like putting the fire out.

Speaker 3 (45:09):
That's fine, out that.

Speaker 1 (45:15):
Growling that one. I'm here for it. Andrew is the best.
Heye real quickly before we do to ask me anything,
will you try to do your that is drastically improved.

Speaker 3 (45:30):
I feel like it gets worse every time I hear it.

Speaker 1 (45:32):
Well, I feel he can't do the buff. He can't
do like a but he got Oh my god, diamond.
And I realized this at a lunch one day, and
I swear almost feed myself because at that time it
was a boom.

Speaker 3 (45:51):
That I can't roll my arms. You can't shut up,
sick burn. I hate you literally went to school in Miami.
How do you not know how to roll.

Speaker 2 (46:02):
Your RT for like two years? Let's calm it down,
all right? Well remember that?

Speaker 3 (46:07):
Remember that when you try to flex? Okay, remember that?

Speaker 2 (46:11):
Okay, bully, where did you live in La?

Speaker 3 (46:14):
I don't give a fuck about La. I have a
hat that I like.

Speaker 2 (46:16):
Okay, well, I'm happy you like your hat.

Speaker 1 (46:20):
Here we go fight. It's my favorite part of Okay,
what's the ask me anything?

Speaker 3 (46:26):
Macho seventy four fifty five said, what is your favorite
memory as a child or an adult?

Speaker 1 (46:32):
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (46:33):
You don't have a favorite memory?

Speaker 1 (46:35):
A favorite?

Speaker 2 (46:36):
No?

Speaker 1 (46:36):
There are so many? Yeah, come on, but there's like
so much good stuff that happens, and I write it
down all the time, like that one. My god, it's
just one.

Speaker 3 (46:44):
Okay, what's your favorite? Guys?

Speaker 1 (46:45):
I remember?

Speaker 3 (46:46):
But I don't know. If I'm met, I should sit.

Speaker 1 (46:50):
Just helped down in a chair, like seriously.

Speaker 3 (47:00):
Going back up?

Speaker 1 (47:01):
He's back? Diamond? Is your favorite memory about the toys?

Speaker 3 (47:05):
R us?

Speaker 1 (47:08):
God about it?

Speaker 2 (47:11):
She's not gonna tell it?

Speaker 1 (47:13):
Can I tell her?

Speaker 3 (47:14):
For you?

Speaker 1 (47:16):
Get me? Can we just like put the pieces together?

Speaker 3 (47:18):
Sure? It was my birthday one yearthday, I'm not gonna
say people can dig. And for some reason, people weren't
going out that day, right, So my mom took me
to Toys r US which was open, and I ran
through the aisles and she let me get whatever I
wanted and I got like, instead of a Barbie dream House,

(47:40):
I got the high school.

Speaker 2 (47:42):
Hey.

Speaker 1 (47:42):
Hey, because there was nobody in that toy store. And
that was the best memory of your life. Amazing Diamond's birthday.
Just gonna leave bright there.

Speaker 3 (47:53):
And on that and now we have another burn for you.

Speaker 1 (47:58):
Okay, maybe I'll cut that up.

Speaker 3 (48:00):
Well, well we'll see.

Speaker 1 (48:01):
Anyway, if people want to find you idiots, where will
they find you? Andrew?

Speaker 2 (48:05):
Oh, so Diamond answered the question that was in you
r ask me anything?

Speaker 1 (48:08):
Yeah, Well for timing and everything, it worked out. Well,
I'll think of one and I'll come back with the
next the next one.

Speaker 2 (48:17):
So my I'm at Andrew Pug on Instagram.

Speaker 1 (48:20):
At Andrew Pug, I'm at Diamond since here on Instagram,
I am at Baby Hot Sauce. Okay, I do have
one memory, how about that? Okay, my mom went out
of town and my dad. I went with my mom
my dad was supposed to watch my tadpole who had
was on his way to becoming a frog. Shut up, Andrew,
and it came back and Swimmy was dead. Swimmy, Yeah,
his name was Swimmy. I was little, okay, I was

(48:41):
in like third grade. Swimmy was dead.

Speaker 3 (48:43):
First of all, No, go ahead, what why don't have
a tadpole eighth grade? I mean if you were eight
third grade, that's not little, that's adolescence.

Speaker 1 (48:52):
That's little eight year old.

Speaker 3 (48:54):
It's not little an eight year old. An eight year old?

Speaker 1 (48:58):
Hell yeah, would you trust an eight year old.

Speaker 3 (49:00):
Like do anything? Yes? Oh?

Speaker 1 (49:02):
Oh? Was an adolescent. I was eight years old. My
little tadpole dead. So my dad decided he was gonna
get me a bird to make up for the dead tadpole.

Speaker 4 (49:11):
Awesome.

Speaker 1 (49:12):
We went to a pet store. My mom was still
traveling a lot for work. Got chummy. Chummy was amazing,
best little bird I ever had. And my dad's solution,
because he knew my mom didn't want me to have
a bird, was it's cool. Just keep his cage on
the other side of your bed. Your mom won't walk
over there. I, being an adolescent, was like, yeah, that
makes sense. No, problem. Put the little bird cage on

(49:32):
the other side of my bed. My mom came home.
She walked in my room. Within thirteen seconds, she said,
what does that sound? Is there a bird in here?

Speaker 3 (49:40):
Oh?

Speaker 4 (49:40):
My god?

Speaker 1 (49:41):
She starts looking all over, just walks the other side
of my bed. She said, are you kidding me? You
have a bird? You didn't think I was gonna find
it over here through my dad right under the bus.
He got in so much trouble that was hilarious and
I got a bird out of it.

Speaker 3 (49:51):
Good for you.

Speaker 1 (49:52):
Yeah, chummy was the best.

Speaker 3 (49:53):
I like that.

Speaker 2 (49:53):
Her favorite memory is her dad being a menace.

Speaker 1 (49:57):
He is a menace. You think I'm a menace? Meet
my father? I should have him on a podcast i'mon
would really like that.

Speaker 3 (50:02):
Please.

Speaker 2 (50:04):
We had a hamster, No we didn't. We had a
guinea po When did we ask.

Speaker 3 (50:07):
You for your as? I would love to hear it.

Speaker 1 (50:11):
And Sige's full of ideas today.

Speaker 2 (50:15):
No, they're all just roasting me. Hateful Herman. We got
him for Christmas. We still have the video of us
getting herman on Christmas. We never got a dog, and
probably because what happened to herman, my sister would just well, first,
of all, Herman was very noisy because they bite on
the case. It's very annoying, and they're right.

Speaker 1 (50:37):
I don't know, Okay, I think.

Speaker 2 (50:38):
Maybe whatever we had herman, he was great. But then
all of a sudden, Jackie like was in charge of it.
I was young, and I'm gonna say young non adolescent.
Jackie was an adolescent at eight, and that some means
I was four. But Jackie would just keep was in
charge of feeding and giving herman water. Jackie just didn't
realize that, like, you can't just feed a pet, you

(50:59):
need to get water too. So literally, herman got really
sick one day and we were like, what's going on
with Herman? And then Herman just passes away and we're like,
what happened? Why is he in like rigor mortis? He
just died. Jackie stopped giving him water because she thought
the food was enough.

Speaker 1 (51:18):
She deed him to death. Yes, wait, hold on, was
that your favorite childhood memory?

Speaker 3 (51:26):
No?

Speaker 2 (51:26):
No, I was just giving a.

Speaker 3 (51:29):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (51:29):
Andrew. So not only did we not ask you, you
tossed in a story that was completely irrelevant.

Speaker 2 (51:33):
Yeah, you know, That's what I'm here for. I also
jack Yeah.

Speaker 1 (51:38):
Shame, I bet if you bring us up today. She
gets really sad about it.

Speaker 2 (51:40):
No, I mean, we all know that herman was like
it was herman's We were just it was good her
Why it was premeditated if you have the gates opened
up for him and he went up the Rainbow bridge.

Speaker 3 (51:53):
The fact that you killed a hamster with your hands.

Speaker 4 (51:55):
I did not.

Speaker 2 (51:56):
That is an allegation, right, I heard that said that.

Speaker 1 (51:59):
I did, Nick Bestie, Yes, Nick Alfano, Yes alp on Instagram.

Speaker 2 (52:06):
He just one day started telling people I murdered his
hamster when I didn't, and then he just keeps adding
things to the story.

Speaker 1 (52:11):
That was like one of the first things he ever
told me.

Speaker 2 (52:13):
Yes, he loves telling that story to people. I'm like,
why are you telling people I killed the hamster. I
never killed your hamster. It's like you did. I'm like
your hamster. Because all hamsters have brutal ending of.

Speaker 4 (52:23):
Them, all of them.

Speaker 2 (52:24):
There is not one hamster that has died in a nice,
calm way of natural causes. You have to ask Sam
about her pet dying too. Hamster okay, traumatic Anyway, Chippy
had these giant red masses growing all over him.

Speaker 1 (52:45):
Nick's hamster.

Speaker 2 (52:45):
Yes, Chippy Chippy, which like, okay, couldn't think of a
better name. Whatever, freaking kid Anyway, all of a sudden,
because hamsters my brutal ways, he walked downstairs, Chippy exploded everywhere.
They were blood blisters, and he died. He died that way.
He doesn't want to talk about that part.

Speaker 1 (53:03):
First of all, I now have so many more questions.

Speaker 2 (53:06):
It's actually extremely common cancers to die this.

Speaker 1 (53:08):
Way, to explode of blood blisters.

Speaker 2 (53:10):
So they get these giant growths on them that just
are like filled with blood and then you just wait
because you can't pop it because then they're gonna bleed out.
So they literally have to die by it exploding. I'm
sure someone's listening to this podcast and it's like, actually,
I don't know what's going on there, but this is
how his hamster and several other hamsters in our development died.

Speaker 1 (53:29):
Well, I heard you throw it at a ceiling fan.
What that's how he told me it died.

Speaker 3 (53:33):
I thought he squeezed it.

Speaker 2 (53:35):
Yeah. See, there's too many stories.

Speaker 1 (53:37):
M The lady doth protest too much, No, he doth not. Okay,
And on that note, let's really get out of here.
Andrew Pug on Instagram Diamond since here on Instagram at
Baby Hot Sauce because I'm not Shadow Band anymore.

Speaker 2 (53:52):
No protheth Promitheth will be back next week.

Speaker 1 (53:55):
Do you just make fun of me because of my
A bythline? Wow, I'm just trying to get a star
teeth Andrew Jesus, thanks a lot. Everybody say bye bye
h