December 3, 2024 • 25 mins
Disclaimer: Please note this episode contains themes and conversations about sex.
In this week’s episode of Señora Sex Ed, sexologist and founder of Bloomi, Rebecca Alvarez Story takes Diosa and Mala through her personal story of receiving a celibacy contract in high school, the importance of comprehensive sex education, and how her Masters' degree in sexology inspired her to create a startup focused on intimate care and sexual wellness.
Tune in for a transformative conversation that encourages you to bloom into your fullest, most authentic sexual self.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Amiya Mano wants to buy me a.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Vibrator, Amigakupez, I'll take you to get your first vibrator.
Masturbation is normal.
Speaker 3 (00:17):
Senora, Senora, Senora, Senora, Senora, Senora, Hi, Senora, Welcome to Senora.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Sex Ed.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Senora sex Said is not your Mommy sex Talk. This
show is la platica like you've never heard it before.
With each episode, we're breaking the stigma and silence around
sex and sexuality in LATINX communities.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Latinas have been hyper sexualized in popular culture, but notoriously
denied sex education. This podcast is an intergenerational conversation between
Latinas from gen X to gen Z, covering everything from
puberty and body image to representation in film, television, and music.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
Just a reminder that in this show, a Senora is
a woman with a lot of life experiences and stories
to share. Maybe she's in her thirties, Maybe she's in
her forties or fifties or older. Maybe she's trans, maybe
she sits.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
We are your hosts and producers, Viosa and Mala.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
You might recognize us from our flagship podcast, Lokatra Radio.
Since twenty sixteen, we've covered all kinds of topics ranging
from politics to mental health, current events, and of course sex.
We still have so much to learn, though, and we
hope you listen to each episode with the Senoras and
Senoritas in Your Life.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
Chapter sixteen, Looming into Sexuality.
Speaker 4 (01:53):
Wow, she's selling dildos And it was like such an
inappropriate comment for like a business pitch, you know, I
don't know. It just became this thing where I had
to push through a lot of that noise.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
That's Rebecca Alvarez's story. She's a thirty nine year old
sexologist and founder of Bloomy, an intimate care company.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
Rebecca received her Masters in Sexology with an emphasis on
Arousal and Desire from UC Berkeley. Like many of the
Latinos we've heard from, Rebecca's lack of comprehensive sex ed
inspired her path of learning and entrepreneurship.
Speaker 4 (02:30):
I love good comprehensive sex ed. Growing up Latina, not
getting this information, you know, just culturally, and I grew
up very religious and then in high school having abstinence
only education. I was just so surprised when I found
out that this content existed, and it left this mark
(02:52):
on me. It was very healing.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
Rebecca attended an all girls Catholic high school. When Rebecca
was in the ninth grade, she when the rest of
her class were given abstinence only contracts.
Speaker 4 (03:04):
I remember at ninth grade they gave us contracts, abstinence
only contracts, and it was optional to sign that. I
remember giggling with my friends like what is this? And
we did have some nuns in some of our classes,
so it was just this environment that was It was interesting.
It was super safe in the sense that it was
(03:26):
just a lot of it was a girlfriend vibes where
everybody was just very open with each other, but the
actual coursework was very outdated.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
In that class, Rebecca did receive some information about sexuality
and healthy relationships, which was helpful. Now, as a sexologist,
Rebecca imagines what sex ed courses could look like. She
suggests calling these classes something else entirely.
Speaker 4 (03:53):
For me if I could impact curriculums, which I've tried
in little ways, but if I'd have a bigger impact,
I would do a full rollout of just body education.
And I think it is important to talk about the
clitterists because it's the only organ in our body that
is only for pleasure, and talk about that and provide
(04:16):
that space for people to be these young adults kids
to be able to ask their questions because they have
so many questions and they just sometimes are craving someone
that's going to be real with them and just answer
the question right. It may not be because they're going
to go have sex that day, it's not it. Usually
it's more just this curiosity that isn't getting answered, And
(04:38):
so I think it's intimacy education focus.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
Rebecca is armed with the information of what was missing
in high school and with her expertise as a sexologist.
Rebecca also has these conversations with her own sixteen year
old daughter.
Speaker 4 (04:54):
So when I talk to other sexologists friends or sex
therapist friends, we all kind of have a common story
with our teens.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
They don't want to.
Speaker 4 (05:01):
Hear from us. It's like any other teen parent dynamic.
I would say, but that doesn't stop me from still
having the conversation, or at least a one sided conversation.
So when I first started the company, my oldest I
think she was ten ten turning eleven, and at that
(05:21):
point it was more about body menstrual cycle. I think
she might have asked me one question about masturbating. I
was very honest with her about it, and then it
sort of evolved over time. She had crushes, she felt
unsafe at one point in her like preteen years, so
we had conversations around that and body safety. So it's
(05:41):
just evolved and she knows she can ask me anything,
but she doesn't really want to ask me anything.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
Rebecca maintains open communication with her daughter, even if her
daughter doesn't want to hear from her all the time
on all subjects.
Speaker 4 (05:57):
And now she just want to say this. I know
she has a boyfriend and I already had two sex
talks with them. They are embarrassed af but I do
not care. And he's very sweet. He's very respectful. But
you can tell they're young. They're young minded but trying
to be grown. So I'm like preparing them. If you
(06:17):
need birth control, if you need this, like you just
need to let me know, because we're not going to
create a situation you're not ready for. But also if
you're going to go there, you need to make sure
that you're emotionally responsible. And they just kind of roll
their eyes, but I'm trying to be there, you know.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
Before Rebecca founded Bloomy, she was a sexual health coach
a high school sex ed teacher and a consultant for
several tech startups.
Speaker 4 (06:42):
So I was working with several of them, and I
was consulting on studies that had to do with products
that were either like women's health or arousal related, and
sometimes it wasn't even the main focus. It was like
companies were creating these medical devices and they realized that
there was a sex function impact. They call it secondary endpoints,
(07:03):
so like, hey, this device is actually also improving the
sex lives of people. We want to understand this. So
I would come in and set up the studies run them.
That was really fun and that kind of gave me
a lot of practice into understanding how to run a startup.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
We hope you're enjoying this conversation. Stay tuned, there's more
to come.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
And we're back. We hope you enjoyed the break and
are ready to listen to the rest. Before launching her
own intimate care line, Rebecca launched a marketplace and curated
her favorite clean intimacy care brands and products. Her entrepreneurial
journey did not come without criticism.
Speaker 4 (07:47):
There's a lot of very conservative people that are very
vocal online. I got a lot of backlash from people
across the board, like why are you putting these products
out there?
Speaker 1 (07:57):
Rebecca received criticism online, but also faced numerous challenges when
she began seeking financial backing from investors.
Speaker 4 (08:06):
Wow, she's selling dildos And it was like such an
inappropriate comment for like a business pitch. You know, I
don't know. It just became this thing where I had
to push through a lot of that noise, and I
kept coming back to this center that I still have today.
It's like this fire that is lit where I'm like, Okay,
(08:28):
I can do this and my community needs this, so
I'm going to do my best to do this. And
so despite that, there's been years of it. I've had
a lot of ups and downs with investors in general,
where they're so critical and important to our growth story,
but taking venture as a whole other beast.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
According to the magazine, Hispanic executive, Latino founded startups only
received two percent of all US venture capital funding.
Speaker 4 (08:56):
I've had thousands of conversations with investors. I've had negative
experiences with them. Then, the most common investor is a
white cis man who has a network from an ivy
league and invests based on what his peers suggest and
so here I come, a woman, a Latina, a sexologist.
(09:17):
They are surprised when I know my numbers. Like I
think all of those things put together, They're not expecting
the solution, and.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
A lot of folks.
Speaker 4 (09:28):
Haven't taken it seriously, I think until recently when we
started to see the rise of sexual wellness as a
category and an investable category sex tech.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
Even according to Rebecca, half of Bloomy's customers are people
of color and the majority are Latinas. Overall, she's seen
a positive reception, but still not without its challenges.
Speaker 4 (09:49):
Millennials especially, I feel like they are way more open
and they're doing this thing called the teaching up. I've
talked about it a few times, but they are talking
to their moms and their theas and their cousins, and
it's becoming this wave of starting to teach the older
generation versus older generations teaching younger. And I see it
(10:11):
in gen Z they are extremely open minded. If you
look at the search terms, it's like in our demographic.
I see the changes, especially over the last decade. But
it's not to say that everybody's very open to it.
We still have a lot of people who are conservative
who have virginity concepts, virginity's purity concepts or very religious
(10:34):
and get abstinence only messaging. I don't think there's anything
wrong with abstinence. I think that can be great, but
I feel like if we're not also having realistic pleasure
conversations with that, then we're not getting the full picture.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
Rebecca's experience as a coach provided her with insight as
to what internal struggles Latinas are facing.
Speaker 4 (10:54):
And in my experience, a lot of the struggles that
Latinas are struggling with when they come to me or
when I was coaching, and it would come to me,
we're around shame, getting rid of the shame, and a
lot had not masturbated before, and so it was sort
of like the foundations that we had to focus on.
Speaker 1 (11:10):
Bloomy is a highly data driven company, but Rebecca also
uses her intuition and experience to guide the company, especially
as it relates to her customers.
Speaker 4 (11:21):
And what I can say is that there's definitely there's
definitely patterns, and I think I sensed them before, but
now it's really really obvious. So, for example, one thing
that I think is really interesting for our community for
Latinas is some of the core things that we are
(11:41):
all seeking have to do with feeling safe and then
wanting pleasure, and it's that order. And if you look
at white women, it's pleasure and then other topics. So
it's almost like even just between ethnic groups, there are
trends where we have more trauma in our communities, communities
(12:05):
of color, and that explains why we need more healing
and we need to feel safer first, and so I
try to bring those insights into how we talk about
the products, how I run the company because I don't
always want to have very sex forward Instagram posts.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
We'll be taking a quick break. Don't miss us.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
Thanks for sticking around. We are back. In twenty twenty two,
Bloomy partnered with Target. Bloomy was the first sex toy
brand to launch a Target, and on launch day, Rebecca
took her family to see her products on the Target shelves.
This moment was captured and went viral on TikTok.
Speaker 4 (12:49):
We did partner with Target when we launched the line.
That was big for us, And what I've learned on
the business.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
Side for retail is retail is great.
Speaker 4 (12:58):
For brand awareness and everyone loves a good target. Run right,
throw it in the cart, so it's helping us normalize.
We were actually the first sex toy brand to launch
at Target. On launch day for Target, I brought my family, which,
if you think about it, it's extra different to see
a family going to see the launch of a sexual
(13:21):
wellness line. And some of my friends and their kids
also came. So it was kind of controversial, but I
feel like in that moment, what people saw was you
know that, you know, when you feel like you're on
the verge of crying and then somebody that you love
asks you, are you okay? And it just comes out
That's what happens with my dad okay, So we were
(13:42):
I was processing. I got teary eyed when I first
saw the products on the shelf because what I tell
people is it's not just products on the shelf, Like, yes,
I love the impact of it. I love that these
are high quality and plant based, Like I'm so proud
of all of those features. But I'm first generation, and
I know my parents' stories and I know what they
(14:02):
sacrificed to be here, and it was a lot. It
was a lot, and so if to me it represents
generational support and like what my grandma like would have
said in that moment, to me matters. So anyways, rolling
it all back up with my dad, I think I
was just processing, like my grandma coming here, and like
(14:24):
why she came here, and like how they got here,
and I don't know why. It was all coming in
like they all the sacrifice that I feel like a
lot of our families make for kids in this country.
It's so that they can have a better life and
they can do what it is that they love. And
it was all in that moment. My dad asked me
if I was okay, and when he hugged me, I
(14:45):
just lost it. And it was a very genuine moment.
So it's kind of ironic or kind of funny to think,
like she's talking about vibrators, right, she's talking about loops,
like I am, and this is kind of the fun
part of it. These are really fun, but like I'm
still there's still a lot of meaning behind this company.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
What advice does Rebecca have for women, especially senoras wanting
to explore their sexual curiosity, I.
Speaker 4 (15:11):
Would say is, first of all, pleasure, masturbation, and intimacy
are all very good for you from a health standpoint,
from a mental health standpoint, from a connection standpoint, and
so just knowing that it helps people let go a
little bit and unlearn a little bit of some of
the stigma that we carry, not just growing up, but honestly,
(15:33):
like I do believe it can get transferred generationally. So
I think just letting go and being okay, saying hey,
I want to learn this, and I am going to
go after my curiosity because that's what we do with
other areas of our life. So I would just first
start off by saying that, and then whatever your curiosity is,
So let's say it's masturbation, because that's usually the most common.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
If self exploration or masturbation does not come naturally to you,
that's totally okay. Rebecca says, find a rhythm that works
for you.
Speaker 4 (16:05):
What I would say is, don't feel like you have
to go all in day one. You can gradually get
to what feels like a really good rhythm for you.
If you, for example, if you just want to buy
your first toy, go explore, read up on it, and
buy the toy. If you feel like you want to
use your hand, do it, I would say with the
lub so you have the best experience possible and you
(16:26):
have that nice slipping glad, use a lubricant with no glisserin,
please no yeast infections. And then from there I would say,
continue to be okay, just fueling your own curiosity because
it is going to evolve and it turns into this
whole other thing and it never stops changing, even for me,
where I feel like I'm pretty tuned into sexual energy
in general, and I can have like a menu and
(16:48):
my husband and I like we can go into like
a lot of different areas with intimacy.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
Rebecca is married and sometimes provides insight into how to
keep dating your partner a special if you're in the
throes of child raising, career building, and just the business
of life.
Speaker 4 (17:05):
We are definitely too stressed parents with very demanding careers,
and we travel, and so there's something very sacred about
knowing that we're going to have dedicated time, and when
we do not have it, when we skip it, when
we book something over, when a kid gets sick, when
something comes up, we get cranky. And it's not even
(17:28):
just like sex related. It's just because we don't get
to catch up in a way that isn't like about
the chores and the kids and the day to day
stuff that can make your relationship very like routine. And
so if we can find the time to connect, it
makes us feel better. And I think another thing that's
really really helpful for couples is sometimes I hear, well,
(17:51):
we don't have the time to do date night. Day
night does not have to be you get a sitter
and you go to a fancy restaurant, and it doesn't
have to be that classical thing we see in the movies.
Date night could be the kids are having their own
movie night and you're having your own movie night, and
it's so chill, and it's just like skin to skin
is very intimate. Talking is very intimate. There's so many
(18:12):
ways to connect with your partner. But I do love
a good date night out and about, and I love
being able to look forward to a weekend get away
with him.
Speaker 1 (18:23):
We also ask Rebecca how we can keep things interesting
and spicy in a long term relationship.
Speaker 4 (18:30):
The answer is actually really simple. This is based on
my experience but also tons of data. It's novelty. You're
almost like addicted to your partner. You're so excited to
see them, The sex is amazing, you feel the glow afterwards, right,
So that energy is because you are doing new things together,
(18:50):
and so all it requires is you starting to date
each other again, which is why when we don't, we
feel like it's a routine and it's getting less boring
or it's getting more and boring. There's like a whole
world of like sexual pleasures you can go into, so
there's like definitely enough to select from, but really it's
(19:13):
about the basics and are you dating each other and
having fun with each other because you want to flirt
and you want to feel good with that person.
Speaker 2 (19:20):
Rebecca offers great advice for women of all ages, but
how does she engage Senoras in these conversations?
Speaker 4 (19:28):
And so they had now gone through a lot of
hormone changes, and we're just not happy with the way
intimacy was feeling. And I kind of wish that I
could have worked with them a little bit sooner, because
a lot of people have anxiety about menopause and the
changes that come with that. But overall, because it's not
just about your fifties, people are enjoying sex and intimacy
(19:50):
into their nineties. Right most of the time, I say,
I'm going to encounter either someone that's genuinely open to it,
and wants to listen and wants to know which toy recommend.
Speaker 2 (20:02):
Or why the lube feels the way that it feels.
So we get.
Speaker 4 (20:05):
People that are genuinely interested, and by the way, we
have a very large population of sixty five and over
buying our product, which is cool. And then we also
get I feel like people who are older and are
very embarrassed, and it's like those layers of stigma and
shame are deeply rooted, or maybe even just religious beliefs,
(20:27):
and like you don't talk about it beliefs, and so
for usually, if somebody is very very resistant to it
but still curious, I just give them things to read.
And it can be the blogs, or it can be
a romance novel, or it can be erotica.
Speaker 1 (20:41):
I remember I.
Speaker 4 (20:42):
Recommended an erotica app oney to my aunt's friend and
she's like, oh, I'm not going to listen to that.
And then the next time I saw her, she was like,
just so you know, my life has changed, and I
did use it and I told all my friends, but
we don't talk about it.
Speaker 2 (20:59):
We just know.
Speaker 4 (21:00):
About it, Like okay, that's a great start.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
Rebecca recommends audio erotica if you're having a hard time
feeling grounded in your body.
Speaker 4 (21:10):
So she had a history of sexual trauma, and when
that is part of your story, you really need to
engage your senses when you're engaging in intimacy and audio
erotica literally just puts you in a different headspace because
you're listening and it's guided and you start to imagine,
which just starts to engage and put you in your
(21:31):
body differently. I give her other suggestions, but I feel
like that's one that just like works better than if
you're reading a book, because if you're reading a book,
I love books, but it's less guidance, less stimulation, And
if you have trauma and you just need to feel
in your body and really focus on the arousal and
(21:52):
not feel the other stuff around it, that's a good
way to do it.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
Rebecca also suggests activating all of your senses sexual intimacy.
He goes beyond physical touch.
Speaker 4 (22:02):
Your senses are going to be your best friend. So
if you can, for example, imagine a warm room that
you've preset to get you in the mood to calm,
feel calm. You have an aroma aroma therapy going, you
have a massago that you do on yourself and you
use it just to like ground yourself. You have music
that you enjoy. If you can engage as many things
(22:25):
as possible, it will help you. And this is why
showers are also amazing because it's already warm, you're feeling
the water. It feels good. Usually you start to close
your eyes and you get even more into it. It's
called sense elimination. So when you close your eyes, you
know how you just feel more Like when we're kissing
me close our eyes, you actually heighten the sensation to
(22:45):
your lips because you're more focused, So it's like playing
with the senses.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
Rebecca shared great advice throughout our conversation, so we had
to ask her what's the best advice that she's received.
Speaker 4 (22:58):
A sex There is piss friend of mine told me
that people will always be very curious about my sex life,
but that I don't have to talk about my sex life.
And I think the best sex advice that I have
stumbled upon over the years is and my husband and
I agree to this, that we will continue to talk
(23:20):
to each other and check in to see what our
relationship needs and what we each need, because I think
there's this fear.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
When Rebecca shared that Latinas need to feel safe first
in order to explore their sexual curiosity or sexuality, and
I think it really shows why we're conducting Senora sex
Said the way we are. Senora sex Said is a
podcast for stories, for healing, for exploration and unlearning. And
(23:53):
I think everything that Rebecca shared today shows that we're
on the right path and that Senora sex Said is
needed today.
Speaker 2 (24:01):
Next time on Senora sex Ed, we're joined by mother
daughter duo actress Scarlet Red and her mom, Gina Ruis.
And then as.
Speaker 5 (24:09):
Far as deciding to have her watch the delivery that
I knew would solidify. Okay, this is what actually happens
when you have a baby.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
That's birth control right there. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (24:22):
For years I used to say that, uh huh, that's
all the birth control I needed.
Speaker 2 (24:25):
Nos vemos Choo.
Speaker 1 (24:28):
Senora Sex Said is a co production between Locator Productions
and Michael Dura Podcast Network.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
This show is executive produced by Mala Munos and biosa Fem.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
Also executive produced by Jassell.
Speaker 2 (24:41):
Frances, produced by Stephanie Franco.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
Creative direction by Mala Munios, story editing by Biosafem, music
direction by Grisol Lomeli
Speaker 2 (24:52):
And music produced by Brian Gazzo.
Amiya Mano wants to buy me a.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Vibrator, Amigakupez, I'll take you to get your first vibrator.
Masturbation is normal.
Speaker 3 (00:17):
Senora, Senora, Senora, Senora, Senora, Senora, Hi, Senora, Welcome to Senora.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Sex Ed.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Senora sex Said is not your Mommy sex Talk. This
show is la platica like you've never heard it before.
With each episode, we're breaking the stigma and silence around
sex and sexuality in LATINX communities.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Latinas have been hyper sexualized in popular culture, but notoriously
denied sex education. This podcast is an intergenerational conversation between
Latinas from gen X to gen Z, covering everything from
puberty and body image to representation in film, television, and music.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
Just a reminder that in this show, a Senora is
a woman with a lot of life experiences and stories
to share. Maybe she's in her thirties, Maybe she's in
her forties or fifties or older. Maybe she's trans, maybe
she sits.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
We are your hosts and producers, Viosa and Mala.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
You might recognize us from our flagship podcast, Lokatra Radio.
Since twenty sixteen, we've covered all kinds of topics ranging
from politics to mental health, current events, and of course sex.
We still have so much to learn, though, and we
hope you listen to each episode with the Senoras and
Senoritas in Your Life.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
Chapter sixteen, Looming into Sexuality.
Speaker 4 (01:53):
Wow, she's selling dildos And it was like such an
inappropriate comment for like a business pitch, you know, I
don't know. It just became this thing where I had
to push through a lot of that noise.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
That's Rebecca Alvarez's story. She's a thirty nine year old
sexologist and founder of Bloomy, an intimate care company.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
Rebecca received her Masters in Sexology with an emphasis on
Arousal and Desire from UC Berkeley. Like many of the
Latinos we've heard from, Rebecca's lack of comprehensive sex ed
inspired her path of learning and entrepreneurship.
Speaker 4 (02:30):
I love good comprehensive sex ed. Growing up Latina, not
getting this information, you know, just culturally, and I grew
up very religious and then in high school having abstinence
only education. I was just so surprised when I found
out that this content existed, and it left this mark
(02:52):
on me. It was very healing.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
Rebecca attended an all girls Catholic high school. When Rebecca
was in the ninth grade, she when the rest of
her class were given abstinence only contracts.
Speaker 4 (03:04):
I remember at ninth grade they gave us contracts, abstinence
only contracts, and it was optional to sign that. I
remember giggling with my friends like what is this? And
we did have some nuns in some of our classes,
so it was just this environment that was It was interesting.
It was super safe in the sense that it was
(03:26):
just a lot of it was a girlfriend vibes where
everybody was just very open with each other, but the
actual coursework was very outdated.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
In that class, Rebecca did receive some information about sexuality
and healthy relationships, which was helpful. Now, as a sexologist,
Rebecca imagines what sex ed courses could look like. She
suggests calling these classes something else entirely.
Speaker 4 (03:53):
For me if I could impact curriculums, which I've tried
in little ways, but if I'd have a bigger impact,
I would do a full rollout of just body education.
And I think it is important to talk about the
clitterists because it's the only organ in our body that
is only for pleasure, and talk about that and provide
(04:16):
that space for people to be these young adults kids
to be able to ask their questions because they have
so many questions and they just sometimes are craving someone
that's going to be real with them and just answer
the question right. It may not be because they're going
to go have sex that day, it's not it. Usually
it's more just this curiosity that isn't getting answered, And
(04:38):
so I think it's intimacy education focus.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
Rebecca is armed with the information of what was missing
in high school and with her expertise as a sexologist.
Rebecca also has these conversations with her own sixteen year
old daughter.
Speaker 4 (04:54):
So when I talk to other sexologists friends or sex
therapist friends, we all kind of have a common story
with our teens.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
They don't want to.
Speaker 4 (05:01):
Hear from us. It's like any other teen parent dynamic.
I would say, but that doesn't stop me from still
having the conversation, or at least a one sided conversation.
So when I first started the company, my oldest I
think she was ten ten turning eleven, and at that
(05:21):
point it was more about body menstrual cycle. I think
she might have asked me one question about masturbating. I
was very honest with her about it, and then it
sort of evolved over time. She had crushes, she felt
unsafe at one point in her like preteen years, so
we had conversations around that and body safety. So it's
(05:41):
just evolved and she knows she can ask me anything,
but she doesn't really want to ask me anything.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
Rebecca maintains open communication with her daughter, even if her
daughter doesn't want to hear from her all the time
on all subjects.
Speaker 4 (05:57):
And now she just want to say this. I know
she has a boyfriend and I already had two sex
talks with them. They are embarrassed af but I do
not care. And he's very sweet. He's very respectful. But
you can tell they're young. They're young minded but trying
to be grown. So I'm like preparing them. If you
(06:17):
need birth control, if you need this, like you just
need to let me know, because we're not going to
create a situation you're not ready for. But also if
you're going to go there, you need to make sure
that you're emotionally responsible. And they just kind of roll
their eyes, but I'm trying to be there, you know.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
Before Rebecca founded Bloomy, she was a sexual health coach
a high school sex ed teacher and a consultant for
several tech startups.
Speaker 4 (06:42):
So I was working with several of them, and I
was consulting on studies that had to do with products
that were either like women's health or arousal related, and
sometimes it wasn't even the main focus. It was like
companies were creating these medical devices and they realized that
there was a sex function impact. They call it secondary endpoints,
(07:03):
so like, hey, this device is actually also improving the
sex lives of people. We want to understand this. So
I would come in and set up the studies run them.
That was really fun and that kind of gave me
a lot of practice into understanding how to run a startup.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
We hope you're enjoying this conversation. Stay tuned, there's more
to come.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
And we're back. We hope you enjoyed the break and
are ready to listen to the rest. Before launching her
own intimate care line, Rebecca launched a marketplace and curated
her favorite clean intimacy care brands and products. Her entrepreneurial
journey did not come without criticism.
Speaker 4 (07:47):
There's a lot of very conservative people that are very
vocal online. I got a lot of backlash from people
across the board, like why are you putting these products
out there?
Speaker 1 (07:57):
Rebecca received criticism online, but also faced numerous challenges when
she began seeking financial backing from investors.
Speaker 4 (08:06):
Wow, she's selling dildos And it was like such an
inappropriate comment for like a business pitch. You know, I
don't know. It just became this thing where I had
to push through a lot of that noise, and I
kept coming back to this center that I still have today.
It's like this fire that is lit where I'm like, Okay,
(08:28):
I can do this and my community needs this, so
I'm going to do my best to do this. And
so despite that, there's been years of it. I've had
a lot of ups and downs with investors in general,
where they're so critical and important to our growth story,
but taking venture as a whole other beast.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
According to the magazine, Hispanic executive, Latino founded startups only
received two percent of all US venture capital funding.
Speaker 4 (08:56):
I've had thousands of conversations with investors. I've had negative
experiences with them. Then, the most common investor is a
white cis man who has a network from an ivy
league and invests based on what his peers suggest and
so here I come, a woman, a Latina, a sexologist.
(09:17):
They are surprised when I know my numbers. Like I
think all of those things put together, They're not expecting
the solution, and.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
A lot of folks.
Speaker 4 (09:28):
Haven't taken it seriously, I think until recently when we
started to see the rise of sexual wellness as a
category and an investable category sex tech.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
Even according to Rebecca, half of Bloomy's customers are people
of color and the majority are Latinas. Overall, she's seen
a positive reception, but still not without its challenges.
Speaker 4 (09:49):
Millennials especially, I feel like they are way more open
and they're doing this thing called the teaching up. I've
talked about it a few times, but they are talking
to their moms and their theas and their cousins, and
it's becoming this wave of starting to teach the older
generation versus older generations teaching younger. And I see it
(10:11):
in gen Z they are extremely open minded. If you
look at the search terms, it's like in our demographic.
I see the changes, especially over the last decade. But
it's not to say that everybody's very open to it.
We still have a lot of people who are conservative
who have virginity concepts, virginity's purity concepts or very religious
(10:34):
and get abstinence only messaging. I don't think there's anything
wrong with abstinence. I think that can be great, but
I feel like if we're not also having realistic pleasure
conversations with that, then we're not getting the full picture.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
Rebecca's experience as a coach provided her with insight as
to what internal struggles Latinas are facing.
Speaker 4 (10:54):
And in my experience, a lot of the struggles that
Latinas are struggling with when they come to me or
when I was coaching, and it would come to me,
we're around shame, getting rid of the shame, and a
lot had not masturbated before, and so it was sort
of like the foundations that we had to focus on.
Speaker 1 (11:10):
Bloomy is a highly data driven company, but Rebecca also
uses her intuition and experience to guide the company, especially
as it relates to her customers.
Speaker 4 (11:21):
And what I can say is that there's definitely there's
definitely patterns, and I think I sensed them before, but
now it's really really obvious. So, for example, one thing
that I think is really interesting for our community for
Latinas is some of the core things that we are
(11:41):
all seeking have to do with feeling safe and then
wanting pleasure, and it's that order. And if you look
at white women, it's pleasure and then other topics. So
it's almost like even just between ethnic groups, there are
trends where we have more trauma in our communities, communities
(12:05):
of color, and that explains why we need more healing
and we need to feel safer first, and so I
try to bring those insights into how we talk about
the products, how I run the company because I don't
always want to have very sex forward Instagram posts.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
We'll be taking a quick break. Don't miss us.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
Thanks for sticking around. We are back. In twenty twenty two,
Bloomy partnered with Target. Bloomy was the first sex toy
brand to launch a Target, and on launch day, Rebecca
took her family to see her products on the Target shelves.
This moment was captured and went viral on TikTok.
Speaker 4 (12:49):
We did partner with Target when we launched the line.
That was big for us, And what I've learned on
the business.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
Side for retail is retail is great.
Speaker 4 (12:58):
For brand awareness and everyone loves a good target. Run right,
throw it in the cart, so it's helping us normalize.
We were actually the first sex toy brand to launch
at Target. On launch day for Target, I brought my family, which,
if you think about it, it's extra different to see
a family going to see the launch of a sexual
(13:21):
wellness line. And some of my friends and their kids
also came. So it was kind of controversial, but I
feel like in that moment, what people saw was you
know that, you know, when you feel like you're on
the verge of crying and then somebody that you love
asks you, are you okay? And it just comes out
That's what happens with my dad okay, So we were
(13:42):
I was processing. I got teary eyed when I first
saw the products on the shelf because what I tell
people is it's not just products on the shelf, Like, yes,
I love the impact of it. I love that these
are high quality and plant based, Like I'm so proud
of all of those features. But I'm first generation, and
I know my parents' stories and I know what they
(14:02):
sacrificed to be here, and it was a lot. It
was a lot, and so if to me it represents
generational support and like what my grandma like would have
said in that moment, to me matters. So anyways, rolling
it all back up with my dad, I think I
was just processing, like my grandma coming here, and like
(14:24):
why she came here, and like how they got here,
and I don't know why. It was all coming in
like they all the sacrifice that I feel like a
lot of our families make for kids in this country.
It's so that they can have a better life and
they can do what it is that they love. And
it was all in that moment. My dad asked me
if I was okay, and when he hugged me, I
(14:45):
just lost it. And it was a very genuine moment.
So it's kind of ironic or kind of funny to think,
like she's talking about vibrators, right, she's talking about loops,
like I am, and this is kind of the fun
part of it. These are really fun, but like I'm
still there's still a lot of meaning behind this company.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
What advice does Rebecca have for women, especially senoras wanting
to explore their sexual curiosity, I.
Speaker 4 (15:11):
Would say is, first of all, pleasure, masturbation, and intimacy
are all very good for you from a health standpoint,
from a mental health standpoint, from a connection standpoint, and
so just knowing that it helps people let go a
little bit and unlearn a little bit of some of
the stigma that we carry, not just growing up, but honestly,
(15:33):
like I do believe it can get transferred generationally. So
I think just letting go and being okay, saying hey,
I want to learn this, and I am going to
go after my curiosity because that's what we do with
other areas of our life. So I would just first
start off by saying that, and then whatever your curiosity is,
So let's say it's masturbation, because that's usually the most common.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
If self exploration or masturbation does not come naturally to you,
that's totally okay. Rebecca says, find a rhythm that works
for you.
Speaker 4 (16:05):
What I would say is, don't feel like you have
to go all in day one. You can gradually get
to what feels like a really good rhythm for you.
If you, for example, if you just want to buy
your first toy, go explore, read up on it, and
buy the toy. If you feel like you want to
use your hand, do it, I would say with the
lub so you have the best experience possible and you
(16:26):
have that nice slipping glad, use a lubricant with no glisserin,
please no yeast infections. And then from there I would say,
continue to be okay, just fueling your own curiosity because
it is going to evolve and it turns into this
whole other thing and it never stops changing, even for me,
where I feel like I'm pretty tuned into sexual energy
in general, and I can have like a menu and
(16:48):
my husband and I like we can go into like
a lot of different areas with intimacy.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
Rebecca is married and sometimes provides insight into how to
keep dating your partner a special if you're in the
throes of child raising, career building, and just the business
of life.
Speaker 4 (17:05):
We are definitely too stressed parents with very demanding careers,
and we travel, and so there's something very sacred about
knowing that we're going to have dedicated time, and when
we do not have it, when we skip it, when
we book something over, when a kid gets sick, when
something comes up, we get cranky. And it's not even
(17:28):
just like sex related. It's just because we don't get
to catch up in a way that isn't like about
the chores and the kids and the day to day
stuff that can make your relationship very like routine. And
so if we can find the time to connect, it
makes us feel better. And I think another thing that's
really really helpful for couples is sometimes I hear, well,
(17:51):
we don't have the time to do date night. Day
night does not have to be you get a sitter
and you go to a fancy restaurant, and it doesn't
have to be that classical thing we see in the movies.
Date night could be the kids are having their own
movie night and you're having your own movie night, and
it's so chill, and it's just like skin to skin
is very intimate. Talking is very intimate. There's so many
(18:12):
ways to connect with your partner. But I do love
a good date night out and about, and I love
being able to look forward to a weekend get away
with him.
Speaker 1 (18:23):
We also ask Rebecca how we can keep things interesting
and spicy in a long term relationship.
Speaker 4 (18:30):
The answer is actually really simple. This is based on
my experience but also tons of data. It's novelty. You're
almost like addicted to your partner. You're so excited to
see them, The sex is amazing, you feel the glow afterwards, right,
So that energy is because you are doing new things together,
(18:50):
and so all it requires is you starting to date
each other again, which is why when we don't, we
feel like it's a routine and it's getting less boring
or it's getting more and boring. There's like a whole
world of like sexual pleasures you can go into, so
there's like definitely enough to select from, but really it's
(19:13):
about the basics and are you dating each other and
having fun with each other because you want to flirt
and you want to feel good with that person.
Speaker 2 (19:20):
Rebecca offers great advice for women of all ages, but
how does she engage Senoras in these conversations?
Speaker 4 (19:28):
And so they had now gone through a lot of
hormone changes, and we're just not happy with the way
intimacy was feeling. And I kind of wish that I
could have worked with them a little bit sooner, because
a lot of people have anxiety about menopause and the
changes that come with that. But overall, because it's not
just about your fifties, people are enjoying sex and intimacy
(19:50):
into their nineties. Right most of the time, I say,
I'm going to encounter either someone that's genuinely open to it,
and wants to listen and wants to know which toy recommend.
Speaker 2 (20:02):
Or why the lube feels the way that it feels.
So we get.
Speaker 4 (20:05):
People that are genuinely interested, and by the way, we
have a very large population of sixty five and over
buying our product, which is cool. And then we also
get I feel like people who are older and are
very embarrassed, and it's like those layers of stigma and
shame are deeply rooted, or maybe even just religious beliefs,
(20:27):
and like you don't talk about it beliefs, and so
for usually, if somebody is very very resistant to it
but still curious, I just give them things to read.
And it can be the blogs, or it can be
a romance novel, or it can be erotica.
Speaker 1 (20:41):
I remember I.
Speaker 4 (20:42):
Recommended an erotica app oney to my aunt's friend and
she's like, oh, I'm not going to listen to that.
And then the next time I saw her, she was like,
just so you know, my life has changed, and I
did use it and I told all my friends, but
we don't talk about it.
Speaker 2 (20:59):
We just know.
Speaker 4 (21:00):
About it, Like okay, that's a great start.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
Rebecca recommends audio erotica if you're having a hard time
feeling grounded in your body.
Speaker 4 (21:10):
So she had a history of sexual trauma, and when
that is part of your story, you really need to
engage your senses when you're engaging in intimacy and audio
erotica literally just puts you in a different headspace because
you're listening and it's guided and you start to imagine,
which just starts to engage and put you in your
(21:31):
body differently. I give her other suggestions, but I feel
like that's one that just like works better than if
you're reading a book, because if you're reading a book,
I love books, but it's less guidance, less stimulation, And
if you have trauma and you just need to feel
in your body and really focus on the arousal and
(21:52):
not feel the other stuff around it, that's a good
way to do it.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
Rebecca also suggests activating all of your senses sexual intimacy.
He goes beyond physical touch.
Speaker 4 (22:02):
Your senses are going to be your best friend. So
if you can, for example, imagine a warm room that
you've preset to get you in the mood to calm,
feel calm. You have an aroma aroma therapy going, you
have a massago that you do on yourself and you
use it just to like ground yourself. You have music
that you enjoy. If you can engage as many things
(22:25):
as possible, it will help you. And this is why
showers are also amazing because it's already warm, you're feeling
the water. It feels good. Usually you start to close
your eyes and you get even more into it. It's
called sense elimination. So when you close your eyes, you
know how you just feel more Like when we're kissing
me close our eyes, you actually heighten the sensation to
(22:45):
your lips because you're more focused, So it's like playing
with the senses.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
Rebecca shared great advice throughout our conversation, so we had
to ask her what's the best advice that she's received.
Speaker 4 (22:58):
A sex There is piss friend of mine told me
that people will always be very curious about my sex life,
but that I don't have to talk about my sex life.
And I think the best sex advice that I have
stumbled upon over the years is and my husband and
I agree to this, that we will continue to talk
(23:20):
to each other and check in to see what our
relationship needs and what we each need, because I think
there's this fear.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
When Rebecca shared that Latinas need to feel safe first
in order to explore their sexual curiosity or sexuality, and
I think it really shows why we're conducting Senora sex
Said the way we are. Senora sex Said is a
podcast for stories, for healing, for exploration and unlearning. And
(23:53):
I think everything that Rebecca shared today shows that we're
on the right path and that Senora sex Said is
needed today.
Speaker 2 (24:01):
Next time on Senora sex Ed, we're joined by mother
daughter duo actress Scarlet Red and her mom, Gina Ruis.
And then as.
Speaker 5 (24:09):
Far as deciding to have her watch the delivery that
I knew would solidify. Okay, this is what actually happens
when you have a baby.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
That's birth control right there. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (24:22):
For years I used to say that, uh huh, that's
all the birth control I needed.
Speaker 2 (24:25):
Nos vemos Choo.
Speaker 1 (24:28):
Senora Sex Said is a co production between Locator Productions
and Michael Dura Podcast Network.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
This show is executive produced by Mala Munos and biosa Fem.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
Also executive produced by Jassell.
Speaker 2 (24:41):
Frances, produced by Stephanie Franco.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
Creative direction by Mala Munios, story editing by Biosafem, music
direction by Grisol Lomeli
Speaker 2 (24:52):
And music produced by Brian Gazzo.
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