Episode 177: A Psychology Professor Connects with his Son in the Afterlife through Writing!

Sandra brings you the story of Dr. Matthew McKay, and also provides instructions on how we can all channel our loved ones.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
You're listening to the iHeartRadio and Coast to Coast AM
paranormal podcast network, where we offer you podcasts of the
supernatural and the unexplained. Get ready now for Shades of
the Afterlife with Sandra Champlain.

Speaker 2 (00:16):
The thoughts and opinions expressed by the host our thoughts
and opinions only, and do not necessarily reflect those of iHeartMedia, iHeartRadio,
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amount of research yourself, depending on the subject matter and
your needs.

Speaker 1 (00:43):
Hi.

Speaker 3 (00:43):
I'm Sandra Champlain. For over twenty five years, I've been
on a journey to prove the existence of life after death.
On each episode, we'll discuss the reasons we now know
that our loved ones have survived physical debt, and so
we welcome to Shades of the Afterlife. I'm very excited today.

(01:05):
I'm excited to share our guest. I'm excited that there's
a new way to communicate with our loved ones. Today
you'll meet doctor Matthew McKay, who's a psychology professor in Berkeley, California,
who never would have believed in the world of the
afterlife and communication had his own adult son not been

(01:29):
taken from him. Doctor McKay has authored or co authored
more than twenty five psychology, self help and therapist texts
and books specializing in anxiety and depression. And in this
episode today you'll hear his story and what he does

(01:49):
to connect with his son Jordan. Here's doctor Matthew McKay.

Speaker 4 (01:54):
I'm glad to be with you, Sander. So it's more
than fifteen years now since Jordan. He was on his
way home from work on his bicycle and men attacked him,
probably to try to steal a bike. Eventually, after a
tremendous physical battle, they shot him and he died on
the street. As anyone can imagine, that's the worst thing

(02:18):
that happened, is losing your child at that moment or
very shortly afterwards. I think that the two things that
mattered most to me, And I think this may be
true for a lot of appearance or anyone who loses
a loved one. Does that soul still exist? And are
they okay? Are they in a place where they feel good?

(02:42):
And I was just consumed with that question, and so
I did start looking for Jordan started seeking him in
different ways, and we went to mediums and got some
sense of something he was saying through them. And yet
while there was some sense of him, some reassurance he

(03:03):
might still exist, it wasn't anything that really warmed our hearts,
and so we began looking in other ways. We sought
out Alan Botkin, who discovered accidentally something he calls and
do s death after death Communication. Went to Chicago. It's
a technique that comes from EMDR. I moved into sensitization

(03:25):
through processing, which is something that we used to help
treat trauma. I've used it with hundreds of clients over
the years, but in this case, we were going to
see him and he was going to use his variation
of that with us. During that experience, I had my
first direct contact with Jordan. I could hear his voice
very clearly, and it was not inside my head. It

(03:46):
was a voice that was coming from outside of me.
It was his voice, and he was telling me the
very things that I needed to know that he still existed.
In fact, he's watching over us, he was observing our lives.
He was connected to us, and he was good and
he was happy where he was. So this was a
first major step for me for us, my wife and

(04:08):
I to begin to connect to him again and to
re establish the relationship through the curtain to the other side.
So that was important. Also before this, I had read
a lot of Michael Newton's work on the jury of
souls and so forth, and I had learned because I'm
psychotherapist and I'm a good hypnotist, I'd learned his particular

(04:32):
method of regressing people to their past lives and then
from there bouncing into the life between lives and having
them observe the life between lives. And I had done
that with quite a few people. I didn't charge him,
but I did it. If anybody wanted it and needed
I would do it, and I got to observe their experience.
But I never got to have it. And so somewhere

(04:53):
along this point in time, I got involved with Ralph Messner,
who was the late Ralph Messer was a specialist in
the afterlife and after deathcommunication. He did that same process.
He induced me into a past life and then the
life between lines that I could make contact with Jordan
in that way. And it's confirming that souls reincarnate together

(05:14):
and often in very different relationships to each other in
each particular life, they often have very different ways of connecting.
The problem still was that it was all one way.
I was. With Alan Bodkin's process, I was just hearing
Jordan passively. With mediums, I was hearing their representation of
what Jordan was saying. Even in this hypnotic process. With Ralph,

(05:38):
it was a passive process. I was experiencing things, but
I was not able to participate in the communication. So
finally Ralph taught me how to do channel communication. And
it didn't take him very long, as it was actually
a fairly simple process, and I tell your audience how
to do it if they would be interested. But in
less than an hour he taught me how to do it, proudly,

(05:59):
much less an hour. I went home that night, and
I had my first experience of conversation with Jordan, a
conversation in which I could ask questions, he could answer them,
I could respond, he could respond to whatever I was saying,
and it felt like we had gone back to those
beautiful days around the kitchen table where we could talk

(06:20):
about anything and had these long, beautiful and endless conversations.
And I had my first experience of being able to
have that again and greatly shifted the grief, the grief
of having lost him to I've lost his physical presence,
but the relationship and the love is still completely there,

(06:44):
completely intact, completely alive. So that was an enormous transformation
for me. And I still have Jordan in my life,
and to have that has made all the difference in
terms of facing this loss, but also in terms of learning.
I learn so much from him, and that's made a
big difference. I have a completely different understanding and cosmology

(07:05):
how the universe works as a result of his communications.

Speaker 3 (07:10):
Before we end our chat today, we'd love to know
those steps, but I'd like to find a little bit
more about some of the things that Jordan talked to
you about. And in the beginning, A father knows his love.
I know my dad's love. No one can convince me
that some of the things I've experienced were just my imagination.
You feel his presence as you write.

Speaker 4 (07:34):
Question, I feel his love, if I could put it
that way, I can feel his love inside of me,
feeling his presence like he's sitting in the room. I
don't actually have that experience. I can feel him in
my body and I can feel the love in my body.
But how he manifests himself is the things he says
that are occurring inside my mind but are definitely channeled,

(07:56):
because there are things that I never dreamed of, have
thought of imagined, and they're said in his way of communicating,
not in mind. So what I get from him is
is communication. But I do feel him physically.

Speaker 3 (08:10):
That's I guess the answer I was looking for in
that love. No one can take that away. What kind
of things did he talk about? Did he tell you
about the spirit world, what he's doing, what life's about?

Speaker 4 (08:22):
That? Yeah, over time they shared all of that with me,
and he's decided that he's going to write certain books,
and he set out to write a book, Lewini's Landscape
in the Afterlife, which is really helping people with a
fear of death and telling them exactly what is out there,
what to expect, what that afterlife looks like and feels,
and also why we leave it to come here. So

(08:44):
he outlined the book in about five minutes and then
over time, basically I channeled all of his It's all
from him. So what does he say the afterlife is
their components to it. The first thing that happens after
we die. We end up in he calls the landing place,
and it's just adjacent to the spirit world. And in

(09:05):
the landing Place, the main function of that spot is
to get used to having a non physical experience. We
see it three hundred and sixty degrees, not just straight ahead.
We are hearing things telepathically. We move by intention, but
not by muscle motions. And this landing place is often
familiar in some ways. It's a setting that we might

(09:28):
have known in our lives, but it also has a
surreal quality of heightened colors and so forth, very very beautiful.
And it's there we meet guides and some of the
important souls, perhaps from our soul group, who come to
greet as in that's place. We're getting used to this
not being physical anymore. But it's also a place where

(09:49):
guides evaluate our readiness to enter the spirit world. If
we have a lot of intense residual emotions from the
unfinished issues in our life that are really strong and overwhelming,
a lot of fear or a lot of anger, we'll
go to ancillary places where Bardo's where we work on

(10:12):
that before we can enter the spiritual You can't ender
the spirit world with intense negative emotions, and so there's
sometimes a pausing that goes on and certain healing processes
that have to happen before the soul is ready to
fully enter the afterlife. The sort of sorting out is
done in this anti room landing place. And so once

(10:33):
we enter the spirit world, the very first stop is
where we do life review as many people have talked
about that. Jordan describes it, and I've had a little
bit of the experience also when I've done the life
between life regressions. It's a very powerful experience. And in

(10:54):
that experience we experience everything we've done, every choice we've
made from our own perspective, but also for from the
perspective of the person who was affected by that choice
or that behavior. So we're experiencing it both ways. And
on top of that, not only do we experience it
as that person experienced it at the moment, but over
time how it impacted them in terms of moving forward

(11:16):
in their life, how what we did impacted and affected them.
And we're going through every single significant choice that we
made in our lives and observing its effect on ourselves
on others over time longitudiny. So it's a very powerful process.
It takes a while. We're supported by guides, and we

(11:39):
do a tremendous amount of learning in this process. It's
just it's huge. It's a monumental re experiencing of life
from all perspectives. Then there are other steps that we
can see in the afterlife. But fairly soon we reunite
with our soul group. And as I think many people
are aware of, the soul group is based our family.

(12:00):
It's our spiritual family, and there's any work between oh
I don't know, six and twenty or so souls in
each group. And then there are a lot of adjacent
soul groups that connect to our own. We're not only
involved our own soul group. You could think of it
like a neighborhood. The soul group lives in one house
and a little family together, and then there are houses

(12:21):
that are next door and across the street and down
the street, and these are all adjacent soul groups with
whom we often have very significant and powerful connections of
love and with whom we reincarnate. Typically, we often reincarnate
with our own soul group at the same time, the
same place, in various relationships.

Speaker 3 (12:43):
This is a good time to take our first break,
and then we'll be back with doctor Matthew McKay. He
talks about some interesting things and he explains reincarnation in
a way I've never heard before.

Speaker 5 (12:55):
So we'll be back.

Speaker 3 (12:56):
You're listening to Shades of the Afterlife on the iHeart
Radio and Coast to Coast AM Paranormal Podcast Network.

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Speaker 3 (14:09):
Welcome back to Shades of the Afterlife. I'm Sandra Champlain,
and this episode is dedicated to Professor Matthew McKay and
the way he learned to communicate with his son Jordan.
Some of the concepts that he brings up are new
to me. And whether it's this episode or any episode

(14:31):
of mine, or anybody that talks about the afterlife, use
what fits to empower you in your life. If you
can imagine going into a clothing store and maybe you're
looking for a coat, you try on different coats, Maybe
none of them fit, maybe a couple of them fit,
those that fit, those that make you feel great, take

(14:52):
them for your life. That's the same with different concepts
around the afterlife. For all the billions of people who
have ever lived, and the billions of ways that we've
lived our life, I have a sneaky suspicion that there's
not just one exact way that we experience our transitions
depends on our beliefs and so forth. So now we'll

(15:15):
get back to doctor McKay and he's talking about soul
groups and reincarnating as soul groups.

Speaker 4 (15:22):
We often reincarnate with our own soul group at the
same time the same place, in various relationships. Others from
adjacent groups will be part of our incarnational existence. So
we return to our family and to our neighborhood essentially,
And in the soul group, initially there's just a big
celebration and in the afterlife there's a lot of fun.

(15:46):
I just want to mention that that there's music, there's games,
there's partying literally partying where people get together and just
enjoyed the love of each other and catch up and communicate.
There's a little lot of things that we do in
the afterlife that are really pleasurable and recreational. And we
do that in our soul group as well as a

(16:07):
particularly soul group that Jordan is and they call it
the Farm because in the afterlife you can create images,
and so whatever you actually think or imagine, you can
create that image in such a way that it has
a kind of a certain reality. And so that particular
soul group has created a house that looks like a farmhouse,
and for that reason they call their little group the Farm.

(16:30):
And of course there's a celebration, there's an re engagement. Now,
I just wanted to say something that might be of interest.
Part of our soul energy always stays in the afterlife.
It always stays, so we are always present in our
soul group. We are always present in the afterlife even
though we incarnate, and so when we incarnate, part of

(16:52):
our soul energy enters a body, but part of our
soul energy always remains in the afterlife. So we reunite
with the part of our energy that has always been there.
It's more full and vibrant energy because now all of
our energy is in one place. But it is also
an opportunity now to do more learning. So a lot

(17:13):
of what we do and should have fun is we
engage in a lot of learning. There are guys who
are specialty teachers that come in to our Soul group
and offer lessons about all manner things, but we also
engage in learning in other ways. One of the big
things that we do is we visit the Akashak Record

(17:35):
as part of our learning process in the afterlife. And
the Akashak Record is, I'm sure many know you can
think of it as a gigantic library and in its
contained everything that's ever happened. It's everything that's ever happened,
particularly everything that's ever happened to any conscious entity conscious

(17:55):
of soul, and a lot of the Akashak Record also
involves incarnations and what each soul did in the incarnation
on many, many countless planets, because we incarnate on many
many different planets, Earth being one of the more difficult ones.
So we do a lot of studying of that, and
part of that is studying the life we lived, but

(18:16):
also the life that we might have lived. So we
can actually in the caution record, we can look at
what if I decided something else, and then a chapter
opens and we can now see the outcome of what
that would have looked like had we made that other choice,
And there's a lot of learning that comes from that,
and we can do the same thing with other souls.
We can go back and take a look at Abraham

(18:37):
Lincoln and see, okay, what would have happened if he
didn't sign the Emancipation Proclamation. What would have been the
outcome we're going to see, We could study that. So
we're studying outcomes, we're studying what happens when you do
X and Y and z, and there's just so much
learning there. So it's not just what I did, but
what I might have done, or choices that were potential

(18:58):
but never made. So it's a beautiful opportunity and when
we certainly close up the record, that chapter becomes null.
It's not like a parallel universe. It's just a possible
universe that exists just as long as we were observing
it and learning from it, and then close it, it goes
back into kind of avoid state.

Speaker 3 (19:18):
I wanted to ask, because Jordan never said, Dad, I
know you're going through pain. This is the point of
being there on earth.

Speaker 4 (19:26):
I think that's the greatest gift he's given me, is
a sense of our purpose here. Why do we come
to this place that's so painful, where we go through
such struggle. And I think a lot of people feel
like pain is a bad thing. It's like a sign
of failure. It's like something we've done wrong. We shouldn't

(19:47):
have pain. But in fact, we come to a physical
world under a body that has a nervous system, so
that we can actually encounter pain. And so why would
we do that? What is the point of pain? What
Jordan says is that we incarnate in order to learn

(20:07):
how to love in the face of pain. That's the
main task we have here. We are learning how to love. See,
in the spirit world, love exists without qualification. We just
exist in the state of love. Love is essentially the
air that we breathe in the spirit world, and it's
what connects all of us. But we incarnate to learn

(20:28):
how to love intentionally, meaning how to love in the
face of obstacles and push back from the world we
live in. Maybe a silly example would be the parent
who comes home is exhausted and is worn out and
their kid is upset by something and it needs some

(20:48):
help with their homework and so forth. We have to
love in the face of the pain of the tiredness.
Maybe we had a bad day of work, we're feeling
anxious in the face of the anxiety. Maybe we're upset
with our kid because they've been misbehaving, and so we
have to love in the face of that anger or irritation.
So that's what love is about. That's what we're learning here,
how to love in the face of these obstacles, in

(21:10):
the face of the pain, and the pain is teaching
us how to love. It's teaching us how to love.
In the spirit world, there is no pain, and love
is effortless. But we have to learn how to love intentionally,
and that's what we come here to do. And the
last thing I'll say It's just another comment here is
that everything we're learning we come here to learn, and

(21:31):
everything we're learning we're uploading to all. So not only
are we learning it as individual souls, but our mission
here is to keep teaching all, is to give all
everything that we've learned and it uploaded. And so the
mission of learning to love in the face of pain
and everything else that we learn about in this existence

(21:53):
is given to all, and all continues to grow and
develop and evolve. Now, some people think that God is
perfect and it doesn't evolve and doesn't grow. That's not
at all true for you, to Dan, God is evolving God,
all of consciousness is evolving, growing and continually learning. And
the means by which most of God's learning occurs is

(22:14):
us incarnating in physical worlds, and all the things we
learn become part of the knowledge of God.

Speaker 3 (22:22):
I want to ask you about God. A lot of
people I've interviewed have had near death experiences and they've
seen whoever the person is from their own religion. Some
people just feel this incredible light and it's this unconditional love.
Can you talk a little bit more through Jordan about
this unconditional love, this light, this God it's the best word.

Speaker 4 (22:45):
Yeah, the best way I can describe it is that
all for use the word all actually because God is
a kind of limited word. So like we have this
picture of some little guy in a white beard sitting
in a big golden crusted chair something, and that's not
what it is. All is all of us. We are
all God. Every single conscious entity is part of all

(23:10):
and is part of God. And that's why when we
learn something, God learns something, that's because we are part
of it. And so when you talk about, you know,
feeling the love of God and feeling the love and
connection to God, what we're talking about is oneness. We're
talking about feeling the love of all because we're all
connected with love. That's what holds God together, That's what

(23:32):
holds all consciousness together. And in fact, everything, the conscience creates,
all the world's all the physical, everything is held together
with the gravity of love. So when we're feeling the
love of God, we're feeling that oneness, that deep connection
to all, and the love that holds it all together,
holds all of us together and unites us and connects

(23:54):
us as one. So it's a little different than in
my understanding Jordan's a little different from God is an
entity personality that showers love out. But Jordan's understanding. What
he's taught me is that we are all God, and
the love we experience is the love of connectedness to

(24:15):
all and everything that exists, and that love is something
shared as opposed to showered on us. If that makes sense.
It's something that we all share and experience together, as
opposed to an entity showers us with love.

Speaker 3 (24:32):
Thank you for that. I want to read just a
few sentences that I read in your book because it
deals with doubt. You're led, I'm exhausted. I blow out
the candle. I want to believe everything I've heard, but
I hate self deception. It's a response I inherited from
my father, a man who despised the ways people lie
to themselves to justify their needs and actions. But suddenly

(24:55):
it's clear I will have to live with that remembered
content in order to keep listening. If I want to
open the channel so my boy can talk to me,
then I'll also have to live with a doubt, perhaps
even ridicule Matt. So many people we doubt our own thoughts.
We worry about what other people have to say about

(25:16):
what we're doing. What would you say that helped you
move through that? You know what, I've got a backbone
to share this, this is reality and to push through
that doubt.

Speaker 4 (25:28):
Yeah, I think that what you say is really important
about pushing through because it's not a matter of certainty.
And actually, some people clients of mine that I've taught
how to channel, and I'm resisted because they say, I'm
only going to channel if I have no doubt, if
I have certainty, and then they don't. They don't channel
even though they could, even though they have because they

(25:50):
are insisting on certainty in order to reach out across
the veil and reach the loved ones on the other side.
So if we're going to say I have to have
uncertainty to do this, and most of us will not
be able to do it.

Speaker 3 (26:03):
We need to take a quick break, and I promise
we'll pick up right where we left off. You're listening
to Shades of the Afterlife on the iHeartRadio and Coast
to Coast AM Paranormal Podcast Network.

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Speaker 3 (27:51):
Welcome back, to Shades of the Afterlife. I'm Sanders Champlain
and we're with doctor Matthew McKay, author of the book
Seeking Jordan and how I learned the truth about death
and the Invisible Universe. I just asked him about doubt.
Very difficult to think. Are these thoughts coming in my mind?

(28:11):
Are they mine? Or are they really from someone in
the afterlife. So as we continue on, we'll talk about
pushing through doubt, we'll talk about grief, and he'll share
with us his method of connecting to loved ones and
even our soul.

Speaker 4 (28:29):
Clients of mind that I've taught how to channel. And
it resisted because if they say I'm only going to
channel if I have no doubt, if I have certainty,
and then they don't. They don't channel even though they could,
even though they have, because they are insisting on certainty
in order to reach out across the veil and reach
the loved ones on the other side. So if we're
going to say I have to have uncertainty to do this,

(28:51):
then most of us will not be able to do it.
But it's just what you said, it's pushing through the
doubt and doubt shows up for me. Still, I have
moments where the thought occurs to me, is this real?
Or something Jordan says makes me wondering, what would you
just say? Does that make sense? And oftentimes even just
starting the process, I have to start with the awareness

(29:13):
that I have fear that something might happen that might
lead me to believe that it's not true, So that
doubt is there. I've been doing this now for fifteen years,
and I would say the doubt has diminished somewhat, but
it still shows up. And so every time I start,
I usually channel with Jordan once a week. Every time

(29:35):
I start to channel, I can feel a little of
that edge of anxiety that what if something happens here
that makes me wonder if this is true? And there's
a little bit of doubt, And so I have to
push through it because my biggest value is the love
between Jordan and myself and enact that and be part

(29:56):
of that and engage with him with love. That's my
biggest and I have to do that even though sometimes
there's some doubt.

Speaker 3 (30:03):
It's so tough being human. I tell you, we all
know this. We have this voice in our head that's
not our biggest champion.

Speaker 2 (30:10):
I know.

Speaker 3 (30:10):
Sometimes there's that divine guidance and that self with the
big ass and our soul self. But why do we
believe the voice of this negativity when we look at
the mirror and mine shows the extra pounds and the
gray hairs and all that, and it is not my
best friend. Yet we believe it for so many other things.
So push through that doubt. I love that I do.

Speaker 4 (30:32):
Remember when I said love in the face of pain. See,
if we're going to engage in a loving way with
the souls on the other side and maintain that relationship
and send love back and forth, we have to do
it in the face of pain here, and the pain
is doubt an uncertainty, and pain is missing that person

(30:53):
and grieving, and then when we try to make contact,
it brings up the grief. So this is another example.
In this case, it's love across the veil. But we
have to hear we have to do it in the
face of pain, and doubt is one of those difficult things.

Speaker 3 (31:06):
Agreed, If you wouldn't mind share some tools about how
we can channel, as you call it, with our loved ones,
because Matt who's listening right now, could be experiencing some
of the worst grief imaginable, and we want to believe.
How would we start if you wouldn't mind, We'd love
to learn.

Speaker 4 (31:26):
Yeah, there was one other thing I wanted to say
about God and the afterlife. There is no judgment in
the afterlife. God doesn't judge, or that all doesn't judge.
This whole idea that we have to live this life
and we're going to be judged at the end of
it and go to hell and go to have it's
completely false and Jordan's just said that over and over

(31:48):
and over again. It's false. There is no judgment in
the afterlife. All we do is go there and learn
from the life we just lived. We're not judged, we're
not ridiculed, we're not examined, we're not turned back because
of things we did. So I just want to really
emphasize that that that's one of the other really important

(32:09):
things about the afterlife is a place of love and
zero judgment, and there are no places where people will
go to and suffer. Okay, how do I channel? Sorry
for that little bit digression, but it's perfect.

Speaker 3 (32:22):
We needed to hear it.

Speaker 4 (32:23):
So just I would encourage people to just select a
place that you feel safe and secure. I actually usually
channel right here in this room, right at this desk
and such my childhood desk and my folks gave me
when I was eleven. Find something that makes the place
that you feel safe and set that up as a
kind of a ritual for where you'll channel. Then you

(32:43):
need to clarify the spiritual address of where you're sending
your communications to the afterlife. You can just be aware
of the soul you're trying to communicate by the way
you can channel yourself. You can channel your own soul
energy in the afterlife, and that could be an address
you send community vccasions, you can channel to guides and

(33:03):
so anyway, just be clear on the address, Who is it,
what entity are you? Are you seeking to communicate with?
I think it's sometimes it's very helpful in terms of
communicating to these souls who we knew in life and
have died. Is to have a little talisman, something that
connects us to them, a physical object, something that maybe
they gave us, or something that belonged to them. I

(33:26):
use Jordan, I use actually this business card that he
had that says Jordan McKay that the CEO of Mega Technology,
there was no Mega Technology. He used this to get
into trade shows when he was in high school. But
I keep the card because it just reminds me of
his humor. And it's just the quality of a person

(33:46):
to create a person.

Speaker 5 (33:47):
And that's my talents.

Speaker 4 (33:49):
But you find one of your own and get something
that nexts you to that person in a physical way.
It really is helpful for I fixation. Just use a candle,
just something that holds your attention. You can look at it,
but it could be anything. It could be a mandala
or some certain seapoly stone or celtic not whatever. But

(34:10):
find something you can put your attention on, and then
take a breath, and as you exhale, now we're going
to go into the kind of a symbol of a
pasta meditation. As you exail, just form the intention to
open the channel. Bring all attention down to the diaphragm.
Focus on the diaphragm. It's a center of breath, center
of life. On each outbreath count So first out breath,

(34:32):
one second, but two, three, four, keep counting to ten.
If you're starting to feel receptive and open, you can
start moving into channeling. If not, do another round of ten.
So it's just a simple meditation where we attend to
the breath. When there's a thought that comes up, let
the thought go, go back to the breath and just

(34:53):
count each outbreath, each out there, one, two, three, letting
go of thoughts and returning to the breath. Very very
simple meditation. And it's okay when thoughts show up, but
just leave the thought as soon as you notice it
and get back to the breath. So that gets us
into a kind of a receptive state. And the meanwhile,
while you're doing the meditation, just keep your eyes fixed
on the candle. What Ralph taught me is this little

(35:16):
divination to add to this. And what you do is
you visualize at orb just above your head, maybe six
inches above your head, color the sun, and just visualize
it there and then see it elongating into a tube
like connection to the soul you're trying to reach. And
this is the channel opening. We visualize it the orb
and now we just visualize the channel opening all the

(35:38):
way to that soul. And in fact, that's exactly what happens,
because every soul in the afterlife who we love is
just a thought of way, since we think about them,
it opens the channel. And so the channel is opening
as we are thinking about with love, we're thinking about
that soul that we want to connect to, and so
the channel is now open. I think it's really important

(36:00):
is to make sure that the communications are written down.
So get it in a notebook or whatever. But you
have to paper and have a writing implement and write
your question down, write your first question down, and then wait.
The answer will show up in your mind. But the
answer is being channeled or it's being communicated telepathically, so

(36:22):
just wait. And it can come in different ways. Sometimes
it comes as a big download, just this huge download,
it doesn't even words, just knowing. Sometimes it comes as
an image or a picture. Sometimes it comes as a
few distinct words, you're very succinct. Sometimes it comes as
a phrase, and then you have to wait for the
phrase to turn into a whole sentence, and then you

(36:45):
may wait a little bit for the next sentence. And
sometimes it comes slowly. So it comes in all different ways,
and it's okay. Every way is fine. If it comes
as a picture or just knowing, then you have to
find words to describe the knowing or the picture. But
in every case, write down what you get, whether it's

(37:05):
just a few words, very very compressed information, or in
some cases it's many, many sentences, and just stay with
it until it stops, stay with it until the communication stops,
and then you write down the next question. And the
other thing is the act of writing. Watching the ink
on the page is part of channeling because it actually

(37:28):
puts us in a very receptive state. Literally watching the
ink form on the page puts us in very recept state.
So that's why it's so important in my view to
write down the questions and the answers that come down.
The other reason you want to write down the answers
is you want to have a record to look back
on later. I have lots of things that Jordan has
said to me and I'll go back years later just
read them and go, oh my god, I forgot that,
and that's important and that actually happens to me all

(37:50):
the time. So having the record helps preserve the learning
that you're getting. And you can ask anything. You can
ask how that soul is what they're doing. One point,
I asked Jordan if he incarnated, he had incarnated as
a little girl, and he could tell me some things
about that life if I was curious. But you can
ask about what's happening with the soul right now, what

(38:11):
they're learning in the afterlife. Jordan's talked a lot about that,
He's learning a lot about how to influence people, how
to influence people to see things in new ways. Also,
you can ask about what is going on up there,
what is the afterlife like. Also you can ask advice
for your own life. These souls are very wise. Every
soul has had many, many lives, and they have the

(38:34):
benefit of wisdom that we've forgotten. When they come here,
we leave that behind as part of the amnesia of life.
So they have all this wisdom. So we can ask
their advice. I Jordan about advice about every day about
his sister. How should I respond to this or that?
I asked him the work problems. I asked his advice
while I'm doing a psychotherapy session, I'm feeling stuck, what

(38:55):
do I do now? And he speaks up and usually
it's some that didn't occur to me. And so you
can ask for advice. We can ask for the nature
of reality that we can help let us form a
new or a more accurate cosmology of how things really
are and why we're here. And we can ask about
them and what's going on for them. I think it

(39:17):
is important though, in these communications to convey love to
that so to send them love in whatever form, because
they need our love just like we need their love.
It enhances their existence. So sending love, I think is
an important part of channeling. When we're channeling love when
something side. So that's basically it's pretty much as simple

(39:39):
as that. And after perious silence, when you finish one question,
you can just write another one them.

Speaker 3 (39:45):
Let's go for our last break, and there's more to
say from doctor Matthew McKay. We'll be right back. You're
listening to Shades of the Afterlife on the iHeartRadio and
Coast to Coast AM Paranormal Podcast Network.

Speaker 1 (40:06):
Don't go anywhere. There's more Shades of the Afterlife coming
right up.

Speaker 5 (40:13):
Before the Art Belvault has classic audio waiting for you. Now.
Go to Coast to COASTAM dot com for details. Take

(40:34):
us with you anywhere. This is the iHeartRadio and Coast
to Coast AM Paranormal Podcast Network.

Speaker 3 (40:53):
Welcome back to Shades of the Afterlife. I'm Sandra Champlain
and we've been listening to professor and psychotherapist doctor Matthew
McKay on how he channels his son Jordan through writing.
If you're anything like me, this is an episode we
want to listen to again with the notebook handy. As

(41:15):
we move on, he's speaking about love and I have
some more questions for him about this channeling process, and
then we also get into the very important topic of grief,
So let's continue.

Speaker 4 (41:29):
I think it is important though, in these communications to
convey love to that's so to send them love in
whatever form, because they need our love just like we
need their love. It enhances their existence. So sending love,
I think is an important part of channeling. When we're
channeling love on something the other side, Well, that's basically.

(41:51):
It's pretty much as simple as that. And after purious silence,
when you finish one question, you can just write another one.

Speaker 3 (41:57):
That a couple of things that came to mind.

Speaker 4 (41:59):
One.

Speaker 3 (42:00):
I think it's great writing it down because I know,
if I want to talk to my dad, I'll start, hey, Dad,
and then all of a sudden, it's what are we
going to have for dinner tonight?

Speaker 4 (42:10):
Exactly a lot of distractions. Yes, that's a good one.

Speaker 3 (42:14):
Yeah, So we're writing it down when mister or missus
doubt does creep in though. Something comes out of the
pen and the mind starts to analyze and think, oh,
that's crazy, I just made it up. Do we go
back to the candle? Do we go back to taking
a few breaths? Thank you doubt for sharing. But we're
going to keep going with this push through that.

Speaker 4 (42:34):
Yeah, I just keep going, Just keep going. Sometimes he
says something. Jordan says a lot of things to me
that haven't occurred to me before, which is one of
the ways I feel clear about the authenticity of this communication.
But I sometimes you'll say something, I'll go, what is that?
But I just keep going. I just stay with the process.

(42:55):
I asked the next question, or I asked him to
clarify it, or I'll you men doing boy, I'm feeling
a lot of uncertainty, and so he'll just respond to
that at some way. So I bring it into the conversation.
But I think it's important to just keep going, don't
give up when doubt shows up, don't stop stay with it.

Speaker 3 (43:15):
I remember when I wrote my book, I had a
writing coach and she says, just let it all flow.
Let it all flow. The time to analyze it is
after after you got your stories out. And I think
two when we do the channel in writing, don't write
a sentence and read a sentence. Write a sentence, read
a sentence. Maybe just be in that flow, be open

(43:37):
and experiment with it. I also think, Matt, that it's important.
I know you say you work with Jordan every week.
There's so many people and myself included, we want immediate results.
We want maybe the lights to flicker on and off
or something so obvious it takes something from us. I

(43:57):
think it's not that they can't give us a good sign,
because they can, but to open up that relationship and
keep it going. So would it make sense to make
a date with our loved ones and keep that journal
and today's date is such and such. How often did
you channel with Jordan when you started.

Speaker 4 (44:18):
I can't remember. I would channel with him fairly often,
but it might have been about the same interval now
as once a week, I would say. And so over
the course of fifteen years, I've had hundreds of communications
and I've been so blessed to hear from him. And
so I don't think there's any rule about this, but

(44:41):
I do think that people should try to do it
often enough. If they stay connected. It's the same thing
when you're any loved one. You have to talk to
them periodically, and that's what feeds the relationship. And you
talk to them, you connect, You find out what's going
on with them, they find out what's going on with you,
and through that that process, love flows between you. And

(45:02):
I think it's exactly the same thing with loved ones.
In the affli and Jordan has been so clear about this,
I guess I want to say this that relationships always live.
It doesn't matter if that person dies, the relationship lives.
That person is just a thought away. They love us,
and the love is still living, still active, still flourishing.

(45:28):
And that's true regardless of whether we connect to them
or not, whether we channel or not. But when we channel,
we get to act on that love ourselves and we
get to bathe in the love. We get to feel
the love, which is such a beautiful thing. That's one
of the things that is so wonderful for me. There.
It doesn't happen every time I channel, but there are
moments when I just feel Jordan's love all through me,

(45:50):
and I feel my love for him inside my body,
and it's just such a beautiful moment, and that's one
of the rewards of channeling is feeling that love as
an act of living, experience beautiful words.

Speaker 3 (46:05):
I know personally grief can come on like waves, and
all the investigating I've done really has helped with the grief,
but the grief is still there. So if we're in
one of those waves of grief, do we wait till
another time to do it? Push through it, include our
loved one in it. Any words on.

Speaker 4 (46:28):
Grief, all emotions are waves, and interestingly, some resources shows
the average emotion lasts less than seven minutes, even in
grief itself. Now there'll be another wave, but all emotions
come as waves, and to not be afraid of them
when that wave comes, allow it to ride it. And

(46:48):
it's also you mentioned one choice we have when that
grief shows up is to turn it into communication, to
open the channel during the period of grief. And I
think sometimes there's complicated things about grief, and sometimes grief
actually blocks the channel. So people are waiting for the
loved ones to show up or appear to them or
give them a sign, and their grief is so powerful

(47:09):
it kind of blocks the channel and the loved one
can't get through but also paradoxically, if you deliberately open
the channel during grief, I think it can make it.
The communication is more intense, more beautiful in some ways,
because now we're just not conveying words, we're conveying our
deepest feelings, our love on the deepest level. So the

(47:29):
grief actually is an opportunity to open the channel with
great power and truthfulness. And the two things here, one
is don't be afraid of the wave. Let the wave come. See,
people are afraid of grief because they think it's a model.
Oh the grief's gonna come, it's gonna crush me and
down I go, I won't be able to survive it.
But it doesn't work like that. It's just a wave

(47:49):
and a wave of subsides, and after a period of
time there'll be another way. The longer out we go
after the person's death, usually the waves are further apart,
and sometimes they're a little less intense. But it's also
possible years later you can have a wave that goes
right through the roof and ride it and allow it

(48:09):
and don't be afraid of it, and that wave is
actually an opportunity to connect. I just want to encourage
people to allow the feeling. On some level, the feeling
is beautiful because what makes grief so intense is the love,
and so when we allow the grief, we're also allowing
the love. And I guess I want to encourage people

(48:32):
to do that. And the last thing I will say
about grief is I've learned if I could put that
way to grieve Jordan's physical absence, and he'd be thirty nine.
I don't get to see him grow up. I don't
get to see him having fa I mean, he was
twenty three when he died. They're not going to be
a family. His girlfriend when he died has a new
partner and has a kid, and I won't get to
have any of that. But I or get to observe

(48:53):
any of that or be part of any of that,
And Jordan, in his life doesn't get to have that.
And so I can have grief about it physical absence,
but I don't have grief about he's gone. And I
don't have grief about the love I have for him
has nowhere to go, or the love he has for
me I can't receive. That is not part of the grief.

(49:13):
The grief is just limited to Oh, his physical presence
is not here, but Jordan is here. Jordan is with me,
and he says that to me all the time. Bill Tarious,
I say it all the time. He's done.

Speaker 5 (49:25):
I am with you.

Speaker 4 (49:27):
I am with you, and he is. So the grief
is limited when we start really communicating and connecting, limited
to just the loss of that physical manifestation of that soul.

Speaker 3 (49:38):
Beautiful words. I spoke with a mom you may know her,
Maria pay, whose two sons were murdered by her ex
husband and then he killed himself, and she said, when
those waves of grief come, I think of a good
memory with my boys. I think I have the love,
and then I start talking to them. So that's her

(49:59):
way in and then really touched my heart. Matt, any
more words you wish to share?

Speaker 4 (50:06):
Jordan asked me to say. When I have an opportunity
to tell a little bit about history in US, is
that He just says, Remember, you will be received, you
will be cared for, and you will be loved. When
you die, he says, the dark door will open and
the light of love take you. So you don't have

(50:29):
to be afraid of death. And also we don't have
to be afraid of the impermanence. Here where loved ones
appear to die, the dark door opens and the light
of love has taken them in and will take us.
So enjoyed being with you then.

Speaker 3 (50:47):
And thank you to doctor Matthew McKay, author of the
book Seeking Jordan, How I learned the truth about death
and the Invisible Universe. I hope you give doctor Matt's
channeling a try. Whether you call it automatic writing or
inspired writing, it's all dealing with the same tools to connect.

(51:09):
Our loved ones are with us, and they work with
us in such subtle ways, and sometimes we just need
to quiet that busy mind to let the floodgates open.
That little voice of doubt will always be there for us.
But the more we do this, the more we will
be convinced that it is our loved ones speaking. I

(51:31):
came across a few quotes today that I want to
share with you, not about the afterlife, but about living life.
Often it's very hard to take the first step in
the direction of our dreams, and it may be to
do the practice doctor McKay told us about today. William
shed said a ship in a harbor is safe, but

(51:52):
that is not what ships are built for and Neil
Donald Walsh said life begins at the end of your
comfort It zonne my friend. It is so difficult being
a human being. But when we venture out of the
safe harbor and we have our eyes focused on a goal,
miracles happen. You can fill the sales with gratitude and

(52:15):
kindness and being of service to others. I think that's
the recipe for a good life. As a reminder, my
home base is we Don't Die dot com. If you
enter your name and your email address on that front
page down at the bottom, you get a free copy
of my book. Chapter ten is how to Survive Grief.

(52:35):
I do hope you take me up on that. It's
so powerful. We also offer our free Sunday gathering of
course with medium demonstration included wonderful classes, demonstrations, events, and
so much more. I'm Sandra Champlain and from the bottom
of my heart, thank you for listening to Shades of

(52:56):
the Afterlife on the iHeartRadio and Coast to co Stay
m Paranormal Podcast Network.

Speaker 1 (53:10):
Thanks for listening to the iHeartRadio and Coast to Coast
Day and Paranormal Podcast Network. Make sure and check out
all our shows on the iHeartRadio app or by going
to iHeartRadio dot com