Bert, Annie, and Kottie Kreischer

Kate and Oliver sit down with comedian Bert Kreischer and his sisters Annie and Kottie. They chat about everything from growing up in Florida to anxiety to Bert's title as "the top partyer at the Number One Party School in the country."

Executive Producers: Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson

Produced by Allison Bresnick

Edited by Josh Windisch

Music by Mark Hudson

This show is powered by Simplecast.

This episode is sponsored by Sakara and Home Economics (Premiering 4/7 on ABC @ 8:30/7:30c)

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:05):
Hi. I am Kate Hudson and my name is Oliver Hudson.
We wanted to do something that highlighted our relationship and
what it's like to be siblings. We are a sibling. Railvalry. No, no, sibling.
You don't do that with your mouth, revelry. That's good.

(00:39):
We were lucky enough to talk to Bert Kreischer, Coddie
and Annie. Bert is such a funny comedian. Oh my god,
you gotta watch his show actually on Netflix. I think
it's called Cabin. It's something like that. Anyway, it's hysterical.
He brings all of these comedians up to this cabin
and does all this crazy shit with him. It's it's

(01:00):
really funny. Obviously, Bert is the common common deers. He's
got a lot to say, the guy. The guy doesn't
seem like he's able to keep quiet. And we soon
learned maybe why you know, sometimes I find comedians when
you when we uh talk to comedians and their families,
that there is a lot of interesting material, which clearly

(01:23):
is why they're comedians, is like you know, and in
this one there was a lot. We had a lot
of talk about anxiety, which I I you know, Ollie,
we when we were done with our you know, two
hour session with them. That was the one thing we
talked about. We wanted to say, like, let's bring that
up in the intro. That anxiety was a huge part

(01:44):
of this interview, big theme, and how how common it is.
And I think that people are more apt to be
open nowadays with some of these feelings, but I still
think it's it's a scary thing to add it. And
there are levels of anxiety, you know. I mean there's

(02:05):
your just day to day feeling anxious for something, having fear.
I mean I went through a period where it was
just debilitating. It was it came in waves, you know,
waves of insanity and then I'd kind of get a
little bit better, but I wasn't able to leave my house.
I mean I was, I was feeling it. And everyone

(02:26):
in all three of all three of these siblings they
had they were experiencing anxiety. I mean, I think they
still do. I think they try to keep it at bay.
You know, Bert would have these anxiety attacks when he
was younger, but he didn't know what they were and
the parents didn't know it was anxiety at all, which
probably is pretty similar to you, Oliver. At times I

(02:47):
bet you had a lot of anxiety that then nobody
really knew was anxiety. You know, I think it's it's
there's a theme happening in humanity. I don't know why
we're all fucking so anxious, but you know we are.
It was a wonderful conversation. Bert loves to talk, so
he basically talked the whole time. Yeah, but I love

(03:08):
how open Birt is. And you know, it's the thing is,
he took over in the beginning, right and we were
kind of waiting to hear from the sisters. Towards the
end though, they they seemed to they seemed to, you know,
they were more comfortable expressing their opinions and maybe Bert
gave them a little bit of a little bit of
space to say what they needed to say. But you

(03:30):
know what, a great family, just cool, a cool group.
But we had great, a great talk about the you know,
teenagers and and this crazy world we're living in right now.
Obviously they love each other like crazy, you can, you
can just tell. And they're great supports for each other.
And it's fun. Man, It's nice to see it. It's

(03:51):
nice to see. Yeah. So here is Bert, Annie and
Kottie Christian. My name's Bert Kreischer. I'm a stand up comedian.
This is my sister Annie Kreischer. She's two years younger
than me. This is my sister, Koddi Kreischer. She's an accident.

(04:12):
My parents had sex after mowing the lawn one day.
She walked in on them, and then we got this.
But it's a really you know, it's a really fantastic
dynamic because and by the way, I will overshare it
and you'll watch my sister's cringe. Is our parents. Our
parents split up and and it kind of really brought

(04:33):
the three of us really close together. At the time,
I was in Tallahassee at Florida State. Annie was at TCU, No,
no TCC What's what's the Georgia Southern And then we
all ended up in Tallahassee. And then Kotti was in
like ten years old at the time, and she just
and she just drove up to school with me and
lived with me for a month while my parents were

(04:54):
going through that. And so at one point we were
all in Tallahassee together and she should have been in
grade school. That's crazy, Yeah, but your parents your parents
divorced and then they got back together, they split up,
took some time apart, and uh, and then got back
together for better or for worse. Are they still together now?

(05:15):
Oh yeah, they're still together. Oh man, they okay, wait,
we gotta go, We gotta go. We gotta work ourselves
to this. So you're born in Florida St. Petersburg and
your sister comes along, did you have the Oliver moment
of like, what the fuck just happened? I should be
the only person in this house? No, although that is

(05:38):
my personality. That is definitely my personality. I think, uh,
you know, I think that people knew so little about
raising weird kids back then that uh, that they just
kind of I think we were really close too. And
so there was and I was just some weird kid
who called himself wild boy, lived in a speedo or

(06:01):
a or a or yeah like and and I just
only wore speedos and and yeah yeah yeah, oh well
up until I think, up until like I was ten
years four years ago, Bert, it seems to be the
guy that I wish I was, you know what I mean,
it's it's my inner my inner self there. I love

(06:22):
the speedo sort of wild What what would you? What
were you? What was your what you called again? Wild Boy?
There was a very popular there was a very popular
show on television around the Siden Marty Croft genre called
wild Boy and Bigfoot, And it's the only have you
ever run into someone that remembers that show all of
a sudden, you bond with that man immediately and you're like,

(06:45):
hold on, you remember Bigfoot and wild Boy? And they're like,
are you fucking kidding me? I was wild Boy? And
then you're like, I was wild Boy too, So I
was definitely wild Boy. So the age difference between you
guys is ten years, and so the youngest to the
oldest is ten years. I was ten when she was born.
She was eight. Their relationship is insanely close, like they're sisters,

(07:06):
but they're really. I mean they lived together when they
first moved to La and now they live on condos
above each other. Bunblowt Wow. Yeah, it's not weird to us,
like the way we are. Like when my wife had
to enter the family. We have a nickname for each other.
We call each other Big Team. It's our uncle gave

(07:26):
it to us and we thought it was so ridiculous
that we started making fun of it. And then it's
became who we called each other and yeah, And I
remember at one point Leanne was like, am I going
to be a part of big team? And we were like, no,
no way, like, no, we're big, you're not. You can
be friends with a big team, but you can be
a part of big team, like we're big team. Yeah.
And I was like, I was like, that's even rude
for you to ask. And then I think she was like, well,

(07:49):
look at the pit viper trying to get in on
big teams. And then we started calling my wife pit
viper that. Well, so you guys, so you grew up
in Tampa Bay. I mean, my from what I know is,
first of all, congratulations on the Super Bowl win. I
know that's probably if they care. I mean, is that

(08:09):
your is that the team? Is that care? Oh yeah yeah,
I don't know. It made it worth watching? But I
mean not married to the team, right, I am. I
am as a young man, as a young man who
is a Bucks fan. When they sucked, I am, I
was extremely happy. Yeah, But to me Tampa I mean
I I was there once for spring training and I

(08:33):
kept thinking to myself, like I wonder what it must
be like to grow up in Tampa, like what is
there to do? Well, it revolves around the box a lot,
a lot. But also you have like Ebor City. It's
just like lined with bars and clubs and restaurants. So
you kind of that's kind of what you did if
you went out, you went to e War City, which

(08:55):
was also a little it could be a little shady too,
you know, like when we grew up, people city was
really shady, and when you it was for you. Yeah,
oh you never ventured off the main strip. And then
when I started doing stand up, they opened up an
improv in Ebor City and I was like, fuck that,
and my Dad's like, oh, you should go, buddy. It's
actually pretty. And now it's like it's been disneyfied and

(09:18):
it's it's lost its thumbprint of this authentic you know.
Ebort City was where all the Cuban immigrants came and
moved and started rolling cigars and so all their big
big the old tamp the Tampa Improv was a cigar
factory and so it was like a literally a big
cigar factory. And so so it's cool, it's really cool architecture,
really cool heritage, but it's kind of been subtracted out

(09:41):
with the wet Willie's and the You know, was there
a lot of structure growing up, meaning with your parents,
or was it pretty free for Alli. I don't know.
It wasn't like free for all, but we were not
like the most structured of people. I think I got structure.
I definitely got structure. Yeah, I wasn't allowed to have structure.

(10:04):
You got no structure. She got such a little structure.
She would wake up at two in the morning and
start vacuuming looking for structure. What's that noise? Like, it's
just my sister vacuuming. Oh my god. I was gonna say,

(10:26):
it's kind of like a great strategy as a parent,
like don't do any It's like the reverse psychology. You know,
you end up having like a super structured kid, fent
for yourself, zero structure. I remember telling my parents I
was like, just ask me to make my bed and
they're like, all right, make your bed. I was like, no,
get no, like really want me to. They're like, we
really want you to make your bed. And I was

(10:49):
the one that cleaned the house. Oh my god. I
like creating a chore chart was like your own stars. Yeah,
herself myself in my room. So what did your parents do?
But my dad is a lawyer. I really couldn't tell
you what my dad does to this day. No, he

(11:10):
is a lawyer, but like I no, yeah, but I know,
but I tried to explain it to someone and I
got it wrong. Uh. And then my mom was in
a teacher and is now in early childhood development. So
there's an analyzation on anything you do. My mom could
break it down and figure out why you do that.
Oh okay, Oh that's fun. She's much better, much better

(11:36):
grandmother than she was mom. I was telling someone that
the other day. I was like, oh, she's like an
extremely active this by the way, I just said this
the other day and they were like, for real, My
mom was a very very active grandma still is. Literally
flies out during COVID. I had my tour bus pick
her up, take her out. They wanted to be here.
But as a mom growing up, I don't she wasn't

(11:57):
necessarily an active mother. She's gonna hate hearing that she's
going it wrong. She well, let me just see what
I say and then you correct me. Yeah. My visualization
of mom growing up is looking at her, her looking
off into space and all like this, Well, yeah she
did do that. Yeah, Like that's like, but I don't
she I don't remember like getting on the floor and
playing with me as a kid. Well no, because I

(12:18):
think well that was like back in the seventies too. Yeah,
so it like stuff is totally different now with parents,
Like now she gets down with the kids, she's playing
with the kids. I mean she literally when when I
had kids, she was so fucking active as a grandmother
that you're like that. I remember looking at her going
and tell my kids like, this isn't who she is,
Like right, this is an act. I don't know what

(12:40):
she wants. You're envious. She's like, why didn't you do
this with me? Why didn't you, you know, get on
the floor and roll around with me? You didn't want Yeah,
you definitely didn't want my mom rolling around on the
ground with you when we were kids. But it's interesting
to see how active she is. And then my dad's
the opposite, my dad, who was a pretty active dad
with kids. He's like literally arms desc and it's like okay,

(13:00):
all right, enough, who wants to go out and have
a cigar and a drink? And everyone's like he finally
made it to where he can do that. It's like
I always say, like, what's going to happen when all
the kids are out of the house. You're either like
devastated that you're an empty nest or you're just like
stoked to party. Oh they built a new house, Like

(13:21):
how many years ago? They built a house? Five years ago?
And I remember I said, why would you do that?
And my dad was like, cause we're not dead yet,
and I went, He goes, we're still living our life.
Bert like, we want to build a new house. Why
can't we? And I was like, I don't know. By
the way, funny sidebar story to this, I did the
Tampa Improv. I used to these calling six to work

(13:43):
shows where I'd go in, do a do a show
in the morning, I do morning radio, drink on air,
and then go to the club at ten am, tell
everyone call and stick to work, don't go to work today,
meet me at the improv. And they were insane sell
out in seconds. They were insane shows. I would get
hammered drunk in this show. I don't remember. I don't
remember getting off stage, I don't remember getting paid. I

(14:06):
don't remember any of it. I know that I gave
out like two of my friend's phone numbers on stage.
But I don't don't remember any of it. I don't
even know. I wake up in a house I've never
been into my entire life. I wake up and it's
Tampa and I'm like, what the fuck? I don't recognize anything.
I get up and it's a nice house. I'm like, hello,
No one's there. I'm like, fucking where am I? I

(14:27):
can't find my phone. I'm still in my jeans. I'm like,
son of a bitch. I started looking around this house.
I'm like, oh my god, they've got a picture of
my daughter in here. They've got a picture of me
in here. Oh my god. The front door opens is
my dad. It was their new house. I had never
been there before. I thought I was in a super
stalker's house. And I was like, this is your new house.
He's like, oh, this is your first time seeing it.

(14:48):
And I was like, well, other than walking through it
this morning when I was black out drunk, yeah, oh
my god. So when you were kids, So what was
it like? I mean, were they were you kind of
latch key? Were your parents gone working all the time? No?
He kind of got dramatic about it. They were they
you had like the basic structure, but our parents weren't

(15:10):
like do your homework, you need to do your homework.
It was like is your homework done? Okay, cool, We're good. Yeah,
Well what was it the house? Like? What were the interest?
Was it a creative family or was it more like
sports oriented? Was it traditional in that way? I'm interested
to hear their answers first and then I'll correct them.
Go ahead and answer this. Sports. Yes, sports sports for
you for me, yeah, but no, but for you, what

(15:32):
was it like for you? I went to your practices
and your games, and what was it like for you?
You had you had dance I had I was I
was alone. I didn't have you guys, So I go, Yeah,
it was nice until they separated, but no, like, yeah,
it was all sports and there wasn't much structure, but

(15:52):
it was still like I look at their parenting compared
to mine, and I'm like, I'm doing an awful job.
Like at least we had vegetables, like you know what
I mean? Like there's certain things I noticed, like stupid
stuff that like we never had dessert, No, we did not,
Like we never when we went out to eat. We
never ordered dessert. We never really had junk food, but

(16:14):
like none no, no one forced us to drink water.
We were drinking like diet cokes at a very young
We were like, yeah, we were like the opposite. You know.
I was thinking about this literally, I was walking with
Danny the other day and I'm like, we had so
much crap like oreos. We had like every I mean
we just eat golden golden grams, like terrible. We had

(16:38):
terrible eating habits. I mean, yes, meanwhile, mom was drinking
green juice and being super healthy, but yeah, we ate
all We were like eating free do's. My dad would
my dad would make a burger and he would make
it rare if and you couldn't really give him much
pushback because he was like, you're gonna be fine, just

(16:59):
eat it. And you'd be like, and now, adversely, I
love rare meat like I love meat. Yeah. Yeah, So
you played sports? What did you play? Bert baseball? I
what position? All over the map most predominantly like catcher.
Were you high? Was it high school ball? Yep? Played
in high school, played all growing up, played in high school.

(17:21):
And it's interesting because I don't I'm I speak in hyperbole.
So when I say something, it's always going to be
up to here. But like I'm not as I'm not
that active a parent in my daughter's extracurricular life. Like
I'm trying to be kind to myself. But like I
never coached any of their teams, and my dad coached
all my teams. I never I'm I don't. I'm on

(17:41):
the road a lot, so I seldomly go to that
went to their games. But if I was in town,
I went to the games. But like, I just missed
a lot. And the opposite was my dad. My dad
was at every coached every team at every game. If
he wasn't coaching at every baseball game, and uh, and
it's interesting because I thought that's the dad i'd be,
and it's not. Well, boys, did you think it's circumstantial though,

(18:04):
just because you're on the road or is you just
don't have it in you? You know? No, I will.
I First of all, I'm very competitive, and I try
to hide that. I don't let people know about it.
So early on, when Georgia was playing softball, I had
to take a vape pen into the outfield and get
in the outfield because I got so angry at the
way the coaches were coaching because I played like competitive baseball,

(18:24):
meaning like went to go play college, was recruited by
a couple of colleges like I, and legit know what
I'm talking about When I play baseball and I'm watching
a coach fuck with my daughter's swing and I'm losing
my shit, and my wife's say, make a vape pen
to center field and chill the fuck out and enjoy
your daughter's softball. Annie. So what about you, I mean,

(18:45):
what did you play sports? I did volleyball for a
while for a few years, and I did track. I
tried basketball, but I didn't like it at all. It
was a little too like aggressive. And then did you guys?
Did you always No? Was Burt always the funny guy?
You know, it's hard because you grow up with it,

(19:11):
so that's just who he was. But now looking back,
you look and you're like, okay, maybe, I mean like
chains and speedos like it. Just to me that was
just like, oh that's my brother, you know, or it's
like none of the other kids in the neighborhood really,
but is comparative to the other kids in the neighborhood

(19:32):
where you're like, my brother's nuts. I think it's interesting.
I'll say a word that you used to say when
I when I was being myself or being a larger
version of myself, she would Annie would go stop showing off,
and it would fucking shut me down. I would be like,

(19:52):
I'm trying to get friends for us. We're new to
this fucking neighborhood. Well, yeah, I mean it was a
lot of It was a lot of like you're showing off,
or that didn't happen. That's that was the other one.
But it wasn't like none of it was intentional. This
was like me genuinely being like, that's not the story.

(20:12):
That's not what they still do that. They still do
that today. They stop myself now because you're the storyteller.
Were you about were you a decent student bird or
were you like I am just want to make people
laugh and get through this. Yeah. I was not a
good student. I was not. I said this day, I don't.
I never understood how to take notes, like, and they
were like, all right, take notes. I was like, what

(20:33):
part do I write down? Yeah, you're like, how about
you guys? Were you guys? Did you have a I
was reading notes here the levels of anxiety that your
dad put upon you talking. Yeah, we all deal with anxiety.
Why why is that? Where does that come from? Where

(20:54):
does it come from? She's these two have probably handled
it the best, but she probably has the worst. But
when we talk about anxiety, are we talking about actual,
like clinical anxiety where it's because I had that for
almost a year of not being able to leave the
house and feeling like sick to my stomach and like
losing my fucking mind pretty much, you know. And then

(21:15):
of course there's your yo you did. I had that
two years ago after I had my first son. I
had it like six weeks after I had him. But
you know, I work. I work at Disney, So I
was going to work every day and I knew if
I stopped going to work, I would never go back.
I just I just white knuckled down. Wow, So were
you were you going to work? Anxious at work? Trying

(21:38):
to man? I was your day. I was going into
like conference rooms, shutting the door, crying, calling a psychiatrist.
It was really bad. And then I didn't really know
what to label it as, but I was just having
panic attacks at work. And then it makes it so
much worse when every family member calls you at work
to check on you. I'm like, you guys are making
me feel legit crazy now, like to make sure it's

(21:59):
still around. I was like, can everyone stop checking on me.
I'll figure this out. Do you remember the moment it
was triggered, like, you know, six months after the kid
and you're like, wow, I feel weird or did it
hit you like a ton of bricks? It just hit me.
It just hit me out of nowhere. And that's the
worst kind where you can't label there's nothing that triggered it.
You're like, wait, oh my gosh, I really am losing

(22:20):
my mind. Oh my god. I had the same I
had the same thing. I had the same thing. I
was going to Crazy Girls, which is fun in Hollywood. Yeah, yeah,
on the brea exactly good for you. And I was
walking in and my friend John was ahead of me,
and I felt like my heart just exploded. I mean,
I went, I dropped down to a nurse and I

(22:43):
couldn't breathe, and you know that, I just got flushed
with adrenaline and I was just like and I was
like John, you couldn't hear me. And I got my
shit together and that was the beginning of the end. Honestly,
it was that moment that then set it off, you know, yeah,
and then you just wait for it to happen again.
Then it's just like waiting. Oh God. I would think,

(23:08):
I would think in order to really because I've never
I mean, I've had anxiety, but I've never had like
I've never suffered from anxiety, you know, So I would
think that if you do, and at some point you
have to kind of do the work to figure out
where the That is totally coming from someone who's never
suffered from anxiety, right, but you have to kind of

(23:31):
distill it down to like where it could be come,
I mean, in order to really understand it, or you
could just start drinking or medic like it's the problem
with problem with panic. A lot of times I don't
and I'll say this from growing up. I had them
when I was younger, and I didn't know what they were,
so like, I didn't know what they were, and I

(23:52):
would just be like, I go in too my parents
room and be like I'm watching Johnny Carson and Johnny
Carson's yelling at me, Like I feel like he's yelling
and it's head's real small. I feel like his head's tiny,
and he's shouting at me, and I and the parts
of my toes right here where the nail meets the skin,
I feel like it's folding in. And my and my
dad would be like, you're fine, go to bed, like

(24:14):
not clearly, and I don't think there's an over exaggeration.
My parents weren't uncaring, but they just did. They didn't
know it was anxiety. They were like, you're just go
back to bed. You're gonna be fine. And so I mean,
I remember one time, very candidly, I had a realization
that one day my dad would die. I was watching
TV and someone died and I went, I thought, holy shit,

(24:36):
one day my dad's gonna die. And I can't stop that,
and I start spiraling out. I'm probably ten years old.
I know that because I was sleeping in your room.
We never, by the way, I never. I didn't start
sleeping by myself until I was probably like fourteen, okay really,
oh yeah. I slept with my parents up until I
was ten, and then at ten we moved in a
new house, and then me and her slept in the

(24:57):
same room of us, all of us, and then and
then it at like, uh when I went to high school.
I was like, maybe I should probably start, you know,
in my own room. But I remember, I remember realizing
my dad was gonna die, and I went into his room.
I was I had to be ten years old. I
went into his room and I woke him up and
very accurately, what what is it like if you wake

(25:17):
that up? What's his reaction? He jumps his motherfucker cock sucker?
What the fuck? And I said, Dad, Dad, I just
I just had a weird thought that one day you're
gonna die and I can't stop it. And he looked
at me and he goes, yeah, and you're gonna die too,
go back to bed, and I went, I'm dying and
all of a sudden, I'm like fuck. And then and

(25:40):
and for me, it was the actualization that one day
everything's going to go black and I can't stop it.
And I yeah, And so panic attas have gone through
our family, and I think we've all dealt with him,
and coronavirus has made it exponentially worse even for you
now currently, oh currently, Yeah, you wake up every morning
and do like, okay, throat feels good, no temperature, no fever, no.

(26:03):
But then I go does it feel good? Does is
that allergy? Oh shit, let's go get tested. Wait where
did you guys get this? You guys? This is so
it's almost like you have this collective anxiety. Right, It's
like it's a codependent anxiety. We all call each other

(26:24):
and you're like, you're fine, You're fine, but you should
go get tested right right. And it also sounds like
you were super close. I mean, you didn't leave her room,
you were you shared a room together. Were you protective
of your sisters? I think so, but I was also
I wanted the protection. Also, that's a good question. Were

(26:47):
you protective of birt? But your personality it didn't seem
like it needed protecting. My personality was like was like
sink or swim. I realized, like first grade, I had
horrific anxiety attacks and that my dad dropped me off.
And I realized, what if he dies going to work
and I never see him again? And I had a

(27:08):
horrible separation anxiety, and so I cried. I cried aggressively
all through the first week of first grade, every day,
to the point where miss Missus Thompson had to sit
me at the front of the class and at a
desk facing the class and hold my hand while she
taught the class. Yeah wow, And I just cry looking

(27:28):
looking at the other kids, what if they don't come back?
And then slowly they'd be like, our parents aren't coming back.
Just send the whole fucking class into it anxiety attack. Yeah.
And so I think my personality was and and and
I would say Annie is a shy person. And I
think inherently I'm shy. But I think my personality is

(27:52):
almost like a should. I don't get the luxury of
being shy. I need to start being some somebody. I
need to start I don't know it was. It was
I was trying to explain this to my daughter. I
like taking her to school the other day, and I
was like, hey, first day of high school sucks. Is
They were doing like a distanced thing and I was like,

(28:13):
first day of high school suck. Sucks. And I was
trying to tell her my first day of high school.
I went to an all boys Catholic high school. She
goes to an all girls Catholic high school. I said,
it's never as bad you think it's bad for you,
It's bad for everyone. Everyone feels the same. And I
told her, and this is how bad my parenting is.
We're to die someday worse, I said, I said, I said, listen.

(28:35):
My first day of school, I went to all boys
Cathol High School. I didn't know any of the kids.
I knew like four of them. Like the day I
get there, one of them is chewing tobacco bat Fagan
and I'm like, okay, here, clearly he's older than me.
I grew up with him. Yeah, but he was chewing
tobacco and I'm like, I don't chew tobacco. I'm not
that grown up, Like I'm still a child. And I
go first period was pe. I'm like, I'm good at sports.
I'll just get into a game with some kids and

(28:56):
that's how I'll make friends. And these kids were all
cuban with mustaches dunking, and I'm like, fuck, I'm not
even good at sports at the school. And so we
go into the locker room and he's like, hit the showers,
and I'm like, hold on, we got to get naked
in front of each other now, Like I'm not ready
for that. And I look at the showers and there's
ninth tenth graders, eleventh graders, twelfth graders, ninth graders and

(29:18):
I'm fourteen years old. There's eighteen nineteen, probably eighteen to
fourteen in this thing, and I'm terrified. And now Ila's like,
good God, what happened? I said, Well, what I didn't
realize is all the other boys were terrified too. So
that's the last one I'm trying to teach her. I go,
just as scared as you were. It's you're in your head.
They're in their head too, baby. But it's so funny,
just just going just going back for a second. You

(29:39):
know that I remember, as a young kid, probably on
the same age that you were, that I would think
about what death was and that it was just pure blackness.
And I couldn't wrap my head around this idea that
I wouldn't exist anymore and where would I be? And
I used to drive me insane where I'd have to
shake my cobwebs out and start over because it would

(30:02):
take me down a rabbit hole. You're talking about every
every morning at four in the morning. For me, four
in the morning, I wake up and I think, one
day it'll be black. Really, this is so dark. Why
do you have to think about it? It's just a reality,
and now let it go. Yeah, but whatever whatever is,

(30:25):
or you need to like go do Ayahuascar or something.
I can go on, go on and thinks step step step.
I don't think I want this inside me anymore. Do
you guys smoke weed or eat weed at all? I

(30:46):
haven't during the pandemic really, because I'm trying to preserve
my lung capacity. Right. Well, I'm just wondering because you know,
sometimes that helps anxiety. I mean, sometimes it can exacerbate it,
but then some but other times it can actually settle
you down, you know. Yeah. I have a friend who

(31:07):
says I like to do it because I like to
confront my anxiety, and I'm like, I definitely don't feel
like confronting anxiety. Oh god, Now I'd like to find
the one that settles you down. Yeah. I keep going
into weed stores going do you have one like xanax?
And they're like, well, you can take xanax. I go, yeah,
I don't want I already have that. I need the
one that feels like xanax. Right, but Katty, did you
did you get through it? I did. I went to

(31:30):
a CBT therapy or cognitive vehicle therapy. Yea six months?
Oh good, Yeah, it was a total game changer, isn't crazy.
Our brains are so fucking nuts, now, Kady, When you

(31:51):
were born, so you're ten years younger than your brother
eight from Annie, and you know, did it change the
dynamic for you guys when Cotty was born? Like, was
it very different because she was such a baby? And
were you helpful? Were you more helpful to your parents?

(32:12):
I was? I mean not that you weren't. Not really
they were good together. I would like I was seven
seven eight, so it was like I had like a baby,
a baby doll, you know. So that was the fun
thing for me, was it's like, ooh, there's a baby
in the house. You know. You two were more like

(32:32):
you guys were pretty really close grind. Yeah, we were
such a big age difference. Like I remember when I
had separation anxiety in fourth grade. That's when you went
to college. Mom and dad were like, if you can
make it through the week, like do the full week,
then you can go visit Burt in Tallahassee this weekend.
And looking back now, I'm like, that was so selfless
of him, because I would never oh whenever he would

(32:53):
go back to school. Yea, my parents had to take
her to the gas station down the street is they
would pull over so that she could say goodbye again. Yeah, yeah,
I forgot about that. Yeah, we were really close. Katie
being born brought a lot of joy to our family.
I think I think our family was fun. We were good,
but we were like typical boy daughter family. I see

(33:16):
families now that they just have a boy and a girl,
and I go, you know, I always think you're not
going to go for one more like like two girls
two boys, a different dynamic. But with us, when Kotti
was born, all of a sudden, our family was like
a lot funnier, a lot funner like, because Kotti was
a little different of a person. And to this day,

(33:36):
I always thought Kotty was the funniest person in our family,
without a doubt. But she and she was, and she
was very grown up. And the way she would like,
my friends would come over and they would like, Kottie
would kind of fuck with us, and and my friends
were in high school and she would you know, she

(33:59):
would said she It was like perfect example. I took
her to a party in college when she was maybe
in fourth grade, in fourth grade, and we put a
fake monkey around her neck and she went and collected
money for the keg and she collected like four hundred
dollars and we were like, oh, we have a gold mine.
And so we just took her to parties with the

(34:20):
monkey around her neck and she just make cash. And
then she'd call up like on a on a Sunday
and be like, Hey in Tallahassee, she's in fourth grade. Hey,
we're at the bowling alley And I'm like what She's like,
yeat Worth the bowling Alley. I'm here with the Triedelts.
You should come over and bowl with us. All of
a sudden, my friends were like fuck. I mean, she
was a lot of a lot, brought a lot of

(34:41):
levity to our family. And it's weird, like I'd meet
I met one girl at one of your parties late
night and she's like, do you want to come to
our house and hang out? And then I went to
the triadout house. The next day she moved into the
Tridel house. And that's so weird that I was in
fourth grade. It is party crazy. Where was mom and
dad at home? Yeah? It was weird because he would

(35:02):
let me fly. Remember that. Yeah, I think it was
like the time was so different, you know, so you're
at college Bert, you were considered the top partier at
the number one I read that in the country, is
like something really magazine or Yeah, it's the reason I'm

(35:24):
sitting here today kidding me. I actually tried to I
actually tried to uh move past it when I moved
to Hollywood. Not a buddy very wisely one time say
to me. He said, hey, man, I noticed that you're
like kind of like trying to ignore that part that
that article was when it was in Rolling Stone magazine
that wrote a six and a half page article about me,

(35:45):
calling me the number one party animal at the number
one party school, and it was a really big deal.
Oliver Stone option the rights of my life. I moved
to New York. Will Smith discovered me within doing stand
up for six months mostly because of this article, and
it gave me a career. It got I started to
television and have my own TV show, followed by another,
you know, development deal after development deal after TV show,

(36:07):
And my buddy said to me, I feel like you're
really kind of like pushing this article away, like you
don't want to acknowledge it. And I said, well, I'm
past that. That's not who I am. He goes. No, no, no,
you should never think that he goes. If you hadn't
moved to La, I wouldn't be in La and he goes,
and you wouldn't have moved to La without that article.
So you need to be grateful that that article was written.

(36:27):
Let's go back for two seconds, Like, this article is
written about you in Rolling Stone. How does this? How
does this happen? Like? How does Rolling Stone write an
article about the number one party at the number one
party school? How does how do they find you? So
they were trying to write an article about Florida State,
and so they called like four people at Florida State
and they said, we want to write an article about
Florida State had been just voted the number one party

(36:49):
school in the nation. And then you have someone we
could stay with. And it happened that the four people
they called were all friends of mine who thought I
was fucking with them. So they call They said, oh,
call Bert, call Bert. So this guy Rolling Stone called,
and my buddy Blair answered, I was in the middle
of a bong hit. We were about to go play
frisbee golf and he pisched himself. My name's Eric Kaderguard

(37:12):
I'd like to do an article about the school. I'd
I need a liaison. Everyone's recommended you. Would you be
cool with me staying with you for a week? And
I excelled my bong hit and I was like sure.
He was like, were you just doing a bong hit?
And I was like yeah. He was like, dude, you're perfect.
So then he lives with me for a week. We
party a lot. Because I don't know that I'm I
don't know the article is going to be about me.
They go to write the article and then they just

(37:34):
kind of thought it would be a better article if
it was about a kid. So I was twenty six
year years old. I twenty five, I'd spent six and
a half years in college, and so they just they
just wrote an article about me, and it changed my
life overnight, like overnight. Yeah, gave me the confidence to
try stand up. I tried stand up, and then, like

(37:54):
I said, everything kind of made sense to move to
New York and start to a stand up And you know,
six months in Smith discovered me, and it was and
then all of a sudden it was I was off
of the races, and did will Smith discover you at
a club? Yeah? His people did his people saw me,
and they're like, I think Will would like you. And
I told the story a number of times. But then
I met him at a studio and and we hung
out for the day. We went and saw a movie together.

(38:17):
And what did you guys think when that was happening
for your brother? Did you think that he was going
to have the kind of career that he had and
has or no, I remember you getting offered like a
job to be a radio host in Tampa or something.
Dad's like, you should have taken it. You should have
taken it. It sounds it sounds. Yeah, it sounds weird.
And maybe I don't know if you guys and I

(38:38):
speaking respectfully, but I don't know if you guys can
wrap your head around how foreign the idea of being
in the entertainment businesses to the average person, Like the
idea that you would move, that you would have the
balls to move to New York. I mean, I think,
I think I do this For a fact. If I
ever run into anyone from Tampa in LA I take

(38:59):
a second extra to be like, I never run into
people from Florida here, Like there's a young lady went
to a same high school. Cattie did Academy of the
Holy Names, and she works at the Starbucks by my house,
and I take a minute to be like, hey, don't
give up. Like no one, no one ever does this,
you know. And so the idea that that you could
My dad I remember when I the first time I

(39:21):
made more money than my dad, and he was like,
I don't know what to tell you. I don't know
why people are paying you to do this at all.
Like I don't. I can't give you any advice, Like
I don't know how to parent this, sure, you know,
and so so like I and so I can definitely.
It's it's almost like what not not crack the code
for Hollywood? But once you work in Hollywood, you go, oh,

(39:43):
you just got to not give up. That's it, That's
all it is. And not be a dick, don't hurt
people's feelings. Just always show up on time, be friendly,
don't get too drunk, have a good time. Like there's
something the ge codes aren't that difficulty? So many people
come out here with so many issues. Is that like
regular people look at it and go and we were
we grow up very regular. The idea that I remember

(40:05):
I remember seeing myself on TV for the first time.
You don't know what that's like, meaning like the idea
that you got on television, like I'm on Like I
was walking by a television and I was on television,
and I was like, shut the fuck up, I'm looking
at me on television, Like that's a mind fuck, a
mind fucked. What was your experience seeing your brother for

(40:27):
the first time? Do you remember what that was. I
didn't think much of the Rolling Stone article. I was like, nah,
it just kind of hat. I remember my alarm. My
alarm went off for work and it was about like
they were talking about you on the radio, and I
was like, what, That's a weird way to wake up.
And then I just went to work and then like
the FedEx guy came in and they were like, hey,

(40:49):
are you the same Chrysier? And so that happens, like
so that starts happening in life where they go but
you have no religion. You didn't have any like joy
or excitement or anything for him. You're just like whatever.
Was like, yeah, okay, I like nobody parents. This is weird.
I mean I remember in college you were on the
X Show and I went down to the lobby because

(41:12):
I didn't have cable in my room, and I was like,
this is too hard, but I'm happy for him. And
then I moved out here. You know what, it didn't
start resonating for me until recently. Isn't that weird? Yeah?
You no, yeah, until recently, until recent But it's honest,
like like it was recently that I was like, wherever
I drive, I see billboards now and I'm like, that's weird.

(41:33):
I wonder how that must feel like to be him.
What was interesting is I remember moving out here. I
moved out here at twenty two, right when I graduated,
and he told me just go work at an agency,
working an agency for two years, and then after that
you can do whatever you want. And everyone kept telling
me when I moved out here, They're like, you're going
to be a publicist. Just go to work at a
publicity firm. And it irked me where I was like,

(41:53):
I never want to be in publicity. I work in
a publicity department now, but it and I was like, no,
I'm ever gonna work in publicity. But there's it's a
weird feeling when you were raised in a normal town
and then you moved to LA and you start noticing
the competitiveness amongst like even normal peers at like agencies
or management companies, that it's unsettling. And I always remember

(42:16):
watching Bert help his friends and being genuinely happy for
people when they succeeded, and I was like, that's so rare.
I felt like that was so rare just in Los Angeles.
So it always made me happy. Now that he has
it for himself, I'm like, you know what, that really
paid off, that he always wanted to help people get jobs,

(42:37):
or you know, like I always I was like, you're
never like genuinely happy for him, but I feel I
do not feel that right now. But yeah, I was like,
you know, I'm genuinely happy for you you as to
get you are, and we would have fun with you.

(43:00):
We were, you know, visiting your New York and changing
our sleep schedule to be at a comedy club all night.
But you know what I mean, like you really busted
your ass. So it's been cool to see you evolve
to where you are now. When you went to New
York and what were you doing? Where was I? I

(43:21):
was in school. I went to a few schools and
then landed in Hawaii to kind of wrap it all up.
Was it great? I like the where you put that,
that's good. Yeah, I had to wrap it all up.
And then I and then I moved out here. So
did you guys all come out like sort of one
by one to la I mean, and this is where
home is now. Yeah. He came out first, and then

(43:43):
I came out maybe a year or two later. Yeah,
and then Kotti came out a year later after I
came out. And you guys all and you guys are
all like pretty tight right now. I mean yeah, you see,
you get to see each other all the time. You
make it a point to be together, and you know, yeah,
I would say I would say probably probably more than

(44:05):
the average siblings. When when we when they first moved out,
they moved in together down the street from me and
my wife, and they were like, no, I lived by myself. Yes,
for a year for a year, had your first when
you had Georgia, and I was with you guys, I
think every day, every day, every day. And then she

(44:29):
moved out. I mean I was still with you guys
a lot. Oh that's right. You guys lived over there,
but they would like we would we would Monday nights,
we'd go to their house and watch Monday night football
and they'd come over, we'd grill, and I would say, honestly,
my daughters are way more affectionate, one hundred percent more
affectionate with them, and have a very, very very close

(44:49):
relationship with them, more so than with me. I mean,
my daughters don't hug me, but with them, either of
them walk in the house, both my daughters go to
them immediately, like they love their aunties. Yeah. Does everyone
have kids, Katti? Does? I do not? Kattie? How many
do you have? Two? Three, three years old and four

(45:11):
months old? I have baby birt We call them baby bird.
No do you? Oh? One Bird's like how did I
not have this kid? It is birth, but it's not
that it's like it's like some it's the good parts,
but it's a lot of the parts where you're like, oh,
that's something Bert does that drives me nuts and now

(45:32):
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(47:19):
process when you're doing your stand up. I'll find something
A lot of times I'll it used to be I'd
mishear things. A lot of times i won't notice it.
It'll be something like LeAnn Er them will say oh,
this is going in your act, and then I'll be like,
oh shit, yeah, it is like I'll I'll walk right
past it. But usually it's like a story. A story

(47:41):
will happen or something will happen, and I'll just and
I'll just I'll have to take it on the road
and really work it out on stage A lot trying
to think of a good example of something. Do you
write Do you write shit? I mean, do you write
down or do you just memory you put it in
your phone or you got memory, you just memory stuff
I write. I write some stuff like uh, and then
I'll put it down and then it's a little seeds.

(48:02):
You plant little seeds all over and then when you
start to work an hour, you take these big ten
pole stories of of that you know work or sometimes
you write a joke. I'm not really much of a
joke joke guy. I'm more stories and sometimes like little
things like I misread words. Uh. Sometimes I'm dyslexic, so
I'll read uh ingenious and indigenous or muscles or as

(48:24):
Muslims and so and so. I I little things like that,
and and when you build an hour, little things like
that add in great on big stories. So if you
can get the last per minute up on a big story,
But like I, but stuff will happen and then you'll
just write it down trying to see if there's anything
Do you do you girls? See you do your sisters?

(48:46):
Do you sis? Do you tell them straight up? I mean,
are you like Bert that's no good? That sucks? I mean,
are you involved in it all? In his world of
writing jokes or does he does he try them out
on you guys at all? Or no? Not really? No,
not really. It's I don't think like my dad's never

(49:07):
seen me perform live. I don't think yeah yeah really
yeah he won't you don't want to watch me? Why
is that? Because it makes him very uncomforting and nervous.
It's like he would absolutely hate to do it himself.
So it makes like he almost experiences the anxiety of
being forced to do that. Yeah, and he's like, I

(49:29):
just so if anything on TV anything, he'll somebody else
watch it, and once you say no, Dad, it was good,
he'll go okay. And then but I don't think he's
watched any of your seal would you be would you
be if your dad was coming to see a show?
Would that mess you up? Or would you be excited

(49:50):
about something like that? It doesn't even register. I wouldn't.
I wouldn't. Exit he just never has. And it's like
it's almost like if you you talk to a kid
who grew up without a father and he's like, yeah,
I don't know, I just never had one. And I
don't mean like it's that dramatic, but like he's never
watched me for him, so it doesn't matter. And if
he did watch me that I guess that would be fine.
I don't. I've done it so long now that I

(50:11):
that it wouldn't affect the way I perform at all.
But you you don't care one way or nothing. I
don't care whatever makes him happy, if if if it
makes him uncomfortable to watch me, and I imagine it
would make me uncomfortable watching one of my daughters do
stand up about me. That's the other thing is like
when I do stand up, when you talk about my process.
I whatever I was explaining to someone, whatever, however I hear.

(50:33):
However I remember a story, I just remember the funny parts.
I don't remember some of the details that maybe are
important in a story, Like I just remember the shit
that made me laugh, and that's the part of the
story I tell back to you. And sometimes with my dad,
he'll be like, that never happened, and I'm like, no,
it totally happened. He's like, like, I remember one time
I was telling a story about first grade and I said,

(50:54):
my dad drove a van, and he goes, never had
a van, and I was like, he did have a
fucking van. But the thing I remember is the fucking baby.
He don't remember the van at all. Oh God, and
so so yeah, but yeah. But oddly enough, the last
time I was in Tampa, I was doing the Tampa
Theater and they had planned out that my dad would
come run out on stage. He was in the green room.

(51:15):
He'd come out on stage, rip his shirt off and
take get a picture with me, and you could feel
him shaking, and they videotaped it. And so he came out,
ripped his shirt off, put his arm around me, his
arms trembling, gives me a kiss, and he goes, I
love you. And then he gets off stage and he
was high. I mean he was he was and they

(51:36):
had the camera on him and he was like, like
he really felt about it. He was like they went
like and then he called me. He was like, they
went crazy when I took my shirt off, and I
was like, yeah, you're like, now you know he's gonna
do it. Yeah, You're like, now you know why I
do this. You were the first comedian to do all
the sort of drive ins and socially distanced shows. How
how was that was? That? Was it weird? The first

(52:01):
one was weird, The second one was the first one
was weird. But it was so beautiful in North Carolina.
It was It was an like a slice of Americana pie.
It was a grass drive in, tiered in the middle
of a rock quarry. It was in the middle of nowhere,
trees everywhere, beautiful suns that and everyone was tailgating. Everyone
had their chairs out, They had big inflatable couches, beds

(52:24):
in their plat in the back of their trucks. One
dude filled up his truck with water and as a performer,
I tore through my hour in like thirty five minutes
because I wasn't getting the response I get normally in
a theater. But then as you start doing them more
and more, you get more and more comfortable with what
you understand the response to be, meaning the lass I

(52:44):
need to hear to know I'm doing well. It just
you just had to change your bar on where it
needed to be. And I ended up loving it. And
I mean this sounds a little virtue signally, but you know,
I ended up loving it. And it was offering work
to you know, twenty people night that would work on
my shows we had a big production, and to my
tour bus driver, all my friends, and it was allowing

(53:07):
people an opportunity to get out of the house safely
and and feel like they were a part of something.
My sisters came out. I did the Hollywood I did
the Rose Bowl, and my sisters came out and they
were like, and they called me right when they were
leaving the parking lot and they're like, that was so
cool to be able to get you say what you said,

(53:28):
but it was awesome. You felt normal for someone who
had been quarantined. We'd been hardcore quarantined. Because I was
pregnant and it was shortly after I had Lola, and
it was like so nice. It was like all we needed,
just the two to three hours of being out and
even you didn't leave your car, it was just all
you needed to feel like you had social interaction again. Yeah,

(53:50):
it was really fun. Yeah, we went to we went
to a drive in at my daughter's school the other night,
and I fucking loved it. And I've been doing them.
I've done, like I think, Sick Cities. I did a
ton of them. I did like, wow four runs this
summer and uh and I did. I went. I went
to my first drive in and we watched Faris Bueller's
Day Off and I had such a fun fucking time

(54:13):
with my family, Like we all brought subs and we
were laughing and I was just thought to myself, if
I was drinking, this would be a blast. I know.
I know what you mean. Kind of want to get
into some of the things you guys are working on.
And I mean, Bert, You've got Burke Cast, the Go
Big Show, the Birdie Boy Tour, I mean, what else

(54:35):
do you have going on? Well, what's the what's the cabin?
What is that show? Cabin is my Netflix series. I
just invited, uh. It was like a retreat into the
woods for me to take care of my mind, body
and spirit and soul. And so I'd invite comedians and
people sometimes just famous people I didn't even know. Really.

(54:55):
I had Caitlyn Jenner come and we'd spend the day
in the cabin doing stuff like like crystal therapy or
or sound baths, or coffee enemas or polar plunges. And
it was a blast. It was really a blast. And
and and you know, I brought a really eclectic group
of the funniest people I think, along with some great

(55:15):
people like uh like uh Joel McHale and uh Kelly
Quoco and miss Pat and uh. And it was a blast.
That's an awesome idea, you know. I like this whole
unscripted world. It's really fun. I'm sort of dabbling in
it right now myself. The more that the more closer
we can get unscripted projects to be what we're doing

(55:37):
right now, the better they are. And I think really
in essence, what The Cabin was was was a very
elaborate podcast in a weird way, with with with cameras
following you around I think why it worked so well
with so many comedians are so comfortable on podcasts, like
as a guest of a podcast, I know what I
I know what I want when I'm a host, so

(56:00):
as you tell things, And it's interesting to do this
with my sisters cause I've been on so many podcasts,
so I've I've been doing podcasts for ten years, and
so it's interesting when they tell a story, or when
you tell a story, I immediately go, all right, I
gotta move things forward. I understand that I want to
make sure that I give them everything they need. And
that was what the cabin was was a lot of
people that got podcasts and had done a lot of podcasts,

(56:22):
So when the cameras were on, they treated it in
that energy, that space of like I'll give you everything
you need. I'm not gonna stop talking. I don't need
you to cue me. I got this. I can play
with you. We'll have fun. How much of it was
like you know, I know it's unscripted, and how much
of it was Okay, we're gonna set this up and
we got to do this, this and that, or was
it just real free for all unscripted stuff. I would

(56:44):
say it's all free for all. There was like this
is the you know when you would say scripted, Like
at one point I waxed my asshole and done that twice.
By the way, I've done it twice too, And so
I was waxing my asshole, and my friend Nicki Glazer
is a comic, was walking up the stairs and the
idea your sisters just didn't do anything. When you said that,

(57:06):
you're like, oh, yeah, I waxed my asshole choice and
your sister a total straight face, like, no, it was.
It was unscripted. But in a moment like that when
I'm about to wax my asshole and I know what
Nicki's walking in and I know she's my friend, I
know my boundaries, but I still want her to feel
comfortable on a set and around with people filming, or

(57:27):
I had to go nicky, like from a different room,
it's bert you're about to see my asshole. I would
love for you to be a little socker when you
see it, but I want you to make the choice
whether or not you'd like to see my asshole, because
I wanted to be your choice. And she was like,
I appreciate that, Burt. I'd like to see your asshole.
I was like, all right, and I was like that
was about as scripted this week. That's amazing. Okay, ready,

(57:48):
let's do the speed round. So one word to describe
Bert from each sister. Big words, big words. The girls
are like generous, that's a good one. This very general, sensitive,
very very very okay. One word to describe Annie grounded?

(58:10):
Really yeah, I mean you're the most normal of us
all really? Oh yeah? Why? Oh really that's so interesting.
Annie's big thing is Annie's big thing is just a yeah, no, well,
she does feel like this sort of grounding energy over

(58:32):
there on that side of the frame. You know, she's
like she's cool, like cool as a cucumber. It feels
if one of my sisters had to call me to
tell me my father was dad, I'd want it to
make Annie back to dad dying. Okay, yeah, it always
comes back around to that. Okay. One word to describe

(58:54):
Cotty funny cool, cool, cool, Yeah, what do you mean?
I mean? No? I figured you're cool cool, all right,
I'll take it. Yeah, I would not describe her as cool.
Katti is ten times funnier than I am, really ten

(59:15):
times funnier than I am, and like when they came
over to clean my closets. My closet was a mess.
So they came over and they're like, well, we're gonna
help you clean your closet. They did the same thing
to my man cave. And she's very quick with her wit, like,
I got a pair of these I don't even know
what you said, these shoes that were just like orthopedic
shoes that Ultra Marathon has used to run and that

(59:38):
they make your feet look like duck feet. And Kotti
just looked at me and goes, what are you gonna
be doing kissing walls with that? And I was like what.
She's like, there's boots, there's boots. You're wearing like very
quick witted. Yeah yeah, So do you put that into
use at all? Or is that just I mean as
far as no, you don't. No. Never. I tried. I
tried so hard. I was like, come out here. This

(59:58):
is called nepotism. I will get in this business. I
will get you opening your cute young girl. You can
get spots everywhere. I will help you with your material,
get you up and running. Trust me. And she was
like nope, last thing I want. I mean, yeah, I
get it. If you guys could all think of one
word together that would describe your relationship. What would it be?

(01:00:20):
Unhealthy relationship? Uh? Unbreakable? Yeah very much? Yeah, definitely. Do
you guys fight? Do you guys fight ever? I mean
or not? Really? No? Really? No? Even like even like

(01:00:41):
what like we had a Thanksgiving where everyone was fighting
at the tablesgiving Yeah, Thanksgiving because dad was opening nice
wine and he's like, you just then you got all
sensitive and you're like, I'll drink the chip wine. My
dad opened a biden, a nice bottle of wine and
then he's like, well, you gotta you gotta sip it.

(01:01:01):
You're not gonna just guzzle it, are you? And I said, well,
give me the cheap wine because I want to enjoy
my night. He's like, open up the expensive wine. And
then I was like, fine, I'll have a fucking expensive wine.
He's like, don't guzzle it. I go, don't tell me
how to drink. And who would your parents say was
the naughtiest child who broke the most rules? Annie? No, No,

(01:01:26):
it's kind it's cottie. It's ktti. It's definitely cotty. Oh
really he stole a car at like thirteen. Yeah. Wow, Kottiere.
I feel like Kotty's sitting over there like she's got
a badass vibe, but she's kind of the quiet assassin
in a way, you know, Like I think they're just
so used to Bert talking all the time that they

(01:01:47):
just they just they just like they know they're gonna
say something of Birch's gonna take over. Yeah, yeah, pretty much.
Here's the deal. If you're going to a wedding and
you're sitting with the Chryslers, here's what you want. If
you're sitting with us, if you want to have a
fucking time of your life, We're gonna wake up and go,

(01:02:09):
oh my god, that was the greatest night I've ever had.
I can't wait to look on Instagram and see what
I did. You want to sit next to me? Okay?
If if you do not like the bride and groom
and you want to talk shit about them throughout the
entire night and lapsterically, you want to sit next to Katy.
Okay if you are if you are sitting the bride
and groom's brother next to someone and you want that

(01:02:30):
brother to go away and go man, that was a
great wedding. Sit up next to Annie because Annie is
just a generous, kind person. Katty is the person that
you can She will trash someone with you, like like
like like roast someone with one with you and it's hilarious.
And I'm the person that your kid's gonna get your
shirtless on a table, right, and you'll be like, oh
my god, what a trio. I love that so great.

(01:02:52):
I love I love that. That's so that's such a
perfect way of like getting to know you guys, you know,
or describing what it is like getting to know you
got guys. Okay, who was the big tattletale. I don't
think any of us were tattletales, but Bert definitely lets
things slip. Yeah, I fuck up on the tattletale where

(01:03:13):
it's just like why would you ever say that? Yeah,
I'm the person that gets interrogated and they're like, you know,
they're talking about you. I was like, they're talking about me, Well,
let me tell you what they did. And they're like
and then I get back in the cell and they're
like you didn't say anything, right, and I was like right.
It's like yeah, that's like in Gooni's when Chunk is
like and they're like, you know, tell us everything, and

(01:03:35):
he's like, when I was poor, that's me who was
the most anxious kid? Easy Kotti and then adult are
now like right now, I think it's a tie between
me and you. Not even close. See, my anxiousness is

(01:03:56):
is weird because I power through a lot of it.
And just like I just go like I had a
problem flying and I went to the doctor and was like,
I have a problem flying. He was like, when was
the last time he flew? I said yesterday. He goes,
then you don't have a problem flying. And I was like,
oh cool, I guess I'll just drink at airports and
he was like, yeah, you can do that. A great doctor.

(01:04:17):
Great doctor. Oh man, Okay, who which sibling has the
weirdest habits? It's got to be me. It's got to
be me. I'm a weird I'm a I'm a weird
weird person. I collect knives, but I have knives and
hatchets all over the place. I uh yeah, I'm a

(01:04:38):
very weird person. I think that's cool to me. You
have any No, not really, I just have one. Not
that I what is it? I put toilet paper over
the hole every time. Oh, you're afraid of in the toilet.
Snakes toilet, right, so you put a toilet paper over

(01:05:01):
the hole, so you can't. So there's one square, so
that were to come up every single time. And I
can't ship in a port a potty because I think
I'm afraid of rattlesnak is gonna bite me in the ass. Really, Wow, Well,
I guess, I guess. I guess if you put the
square over, the snake comes up and then he can't
see because he's just like ah ship, which is the

(01:05:24):
most extroverted. Sometimes this is surprising question, not that surprising.
It's not that surprising. I overshare, I overshare. I over
I need you to like me. I want you to
walk away going God damn it. That was an exceptional
human being. And so I I and so I I
have a problem with that, I think and and and

(01:05:46):
in doing that, I like I strike up conversations with
people that you shouldn't talk to, Like just overshare is
your wife, like let's go, let's go. Yeah, And certain
certain things. I'm a very curious person, so like, uh, like,
if you tell me something that I find interesting, I
can't let go of it. I Q on it NonStop. Yeah,

(01:06:07):
you just have to ask every question. Yeah, when you
were kids, what would you have thought each other would
have done or been for a living. I knew you
wouldn't be sitting in an office. I thought you'd be
in an office. I was I thought you. I thought
you'd be in an office, and I thought I never
thought you'd be in an office. I never thought you'd

(01:06:29):
do what you're doing now, Like that's the last thing.
Uh oh, yeah, not at all. I think I thought
I would be I kind of thought I would be
like sell something, like sell cars or something, because I
just I'm good with people and I I'm not good
at selling things. But I thought, like coming out of

(01:06:49):
college is I was like, I don't know what I'll do.
I guess I'll sell carpets in East Georgia. Yeah, you're
like a people person, just like, yeah, connecting with people.
Thought would work with like dolphins or something. Yeah, I
thought anyone be working with dolphins. Yeah, Annie, what what
do you do? Annie? And I haven't even asked you
that I'm a nanny. Oh that's fun. How old are

(01:07:09):
the kids that you're working with? Well, I just stopped
working for a family. Well, I mean, not to to
her own horn, but Annie would never tell you anything
about herself. Annie would rather hear you talk about yourself
than tell her about your her self. But what's that
like though, you know, I mean leaving a family after
such a long time. I mean, is there is there

(01:07:31):
heartbreak that goes along with that? Well, no, because I'm
still in contact, you are okay, And it really it's
not like I nanny and friends of theirs had twins
when I had first moved out here, maybe a year
or two after I'd moved out here, and it was
just something that I kind of fell into, you know.

(01:07:51):
So they had twins and I was with the twins
for like ten years. Oh wow wow, And I'm still
like now they have like phones and Instagram, so I'm
like still and still text and talk to them. We
we used to call her a days because she's like
xanax to people. She's very relaxing, so we call her
a se And that's what my daughters call her, Isase.

(01:08:13):
And she's now like this like this like aunt to
like three other families that where the kids literally consider
her their their aunt. And uh and like I said,
she really the people that the people that she has
worked for, the people who have asked her to come
work for our people, where I'm like, oh my god,
get that job and then tell me everything about that person.

(01:08:34):
And she's like, yeah, it's not what I do. We went,
We went. Me and my wife had to shoot something
on Saturday and my oldest daughter was birthday party. Had
to go to a socially distanced birthday party. And my
youngest daughter were like, She's like, I'll just stay home
by myself. We're like, no, let's not happy. You're fourteen,
You're not. She's like that, what's the worst that can happen.

(01:08:56):
I was like, you're not predicting the worst. That's why.
Like you don't know, you don't know. The guy that
knocks the door, help him hurt lot open the door.
I'm bleeding. I need help, and you open. He's like, yeah,
you're not You're mine, little girl, and so so I society, Yeah, yeah,
I love It's so great, and she goes, well, can
I just have Zayse have like a zas day where

(01:09:17):
I just hang out with day? And we were like yeah,
and so she just hung out with her for the
day and loved it and was like in hog Heaven,
you know, Bert, just you're such an open book, right,
you over share? You know? Is what you see what
you get? Man? Or or is there is there something
that you keep for yourself that people don't know about,

(01:09:37):
or a personality trade or something that you just hold
on to you know? Are you just balls out? No? Yeah,
I get Yeah, what you see is what you get
words at all? Like U yeah, Like I'm not a
really good listener. So like I remember my best friend
as a comedian is Tom Segura, and we have a
podcast and we've been best friends for a very long time.

(01:09:59):
And he said something to me the other day and
I was like, oh, you how many sisters do you have?
And he was like how do you not know? And
I was like, I don't know. You got one right,
And he was like, wait, how many do you think
I have? It? He was like I couldn't tell you.
I don't really pay attention that much. And he's like,
I know everything about you. How do you not know
this about me? And I was like, I'm just focused
on you, buddy. Oh my god, what was your first

(01:10:26):
celebrity crush? All of you? Probably wonder Woman Linda Calrter. Yeah,
are you shitting me? That's me? Like, wait, who is
your first celebrity crush, Jordan new Kids on the Block.
I don't know what if, she said, Quincy Corner. Remember

(01:10:55):
a show called Benson, Not Benson, but the Governor God
I loved, I Love. No clue, no clue. Who's your
celebrity crush right now? Oh, I've been into Magnum p

(01:11:15):
I lately. Tom Seller weren't far away. You know, before
Magni I were in the same world first concert. It
was the winning Houston and the Bea Sports Yes, Starship, Yeah,
Whitney Houston and the Starship, the Starship Yeah Storm. Remember

(01:11:41):
you remember who we went with, Seve, Remember our family,
That's who that was. You guys all went to the
same concert, Yeah, Based Stadium Stadium. It was for fourth
of July or something. Yeah, it's fourth of July. And
Whitney Houston fucking off the thunder. You're playing her national

(01:12:02):
anthem the other day and I was like, fuck, man,
I cried. I was on the treadmill and I cried watching.
Oh my god, it was so good. We have a
it's a two part we ask it. We ask all
this all siblings the same question. The first part is,
you know, if there was just you know there's three
of you, So figure that part out, do the math.

(01:12:22):
If you can take if you could take something from
your sibling that you admire, something that you wished that
you had as a part of you, what would that be.
And on the flip side of that, if you could
alleviate something from your sibling, take something away that you
think would make their life a little bit easier, what
would that be. Let's go youngest to oldest. So let's

(01:12:45):
start with what you guys would like to take, you know,
with with Coddy, I'd take away her. I'd take away
her anxiety easily, and I would take I would take
I'd steal her her quickness. I'm not as quick as
she is. Yeah, if I had that wight on stage,
I would destructive. Well, definitely anxiety. Yeah, I think we

(01:13:08):
take that away from all of that there? Oh is
that is that the universal? Take that for me? Her?
Like she's a ball buster, you know? Yeah, yeah, I
could use a little more of that. Yeah, like Cat, No,

(01:13:28):
not Chensey, Cat like the ball buster. Yeah. Okay, what
would we take from Annie? I'd take your I would
take your ability to be grounded in the moment, just
be able to just be chilled. I would love that.
And then what would I give you? Like your self assurance?
That's what I would take. Yeah, I take that. And
then what would you take take away from it? I

(01:13:51):
tell you, I take away some of your shyness. Yeah. Yeah,
if you'd just be a little bit more like me,
I think you'd be a great person. All right, Now,
what do you got your work ethic? You're going to
say my workouts? Yeah, your workouts, your body? Yeah, your

(01:14:15):
your work ethic. And I would say you're you're like
the comfort in your own skin. Yeah. Yeah, you could
walk into any room and just you can walk into
anything room, Which is the nice thing about you if
if like you're with if you're someone with you, you
don't have to worry about anything, you know, especially being

(01:14:37):
an introvert. Yeah, like you're like, oh, I can just
coast along. What would I take out of you? Problem
would I take away from me? Probably how sensitive you are.
I would love to get rid of that. I would
love to get rid of that so much. You liked

(01:15:00):
Georgia sensitive meaning like you just you just take things
personally across the board. So personally, I like, some guy
can make a video where he doesn't like me or
leave a comment and it I mean eat him up
for days. Oh my god. Yeah. But it's but it's

(01:15:20):
a good trait too that I'm glad I have it
because you know, adversely, I you know, if I go
into a room like the back of the comedy store
and I see someone that doesn't know anybody, I take
a moment because I know what that would feel like,
and I take a moment to go, hey, you know,
yeah you, and I'll introduce you everybody, and and then
I do that and then they feel a little more comfortable.

(01:15:42):
I definitely am a little more aware of how people
feel in certain situations because I'm so sensitive. All right, guys,
this has been awesome. Hey, thank you so much. It
was nice getting to know you. This is a blast.
Thank you guys so much. Thank you, guys. Sibling Revelry
is executive produced by Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson. Producer

(01:16:05):
is Alison. President, editor is Josh Wendish. Music by Mark
Hudson aka Uncle Mark. If you want to show us
some love, rate the show and leave us a review.
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