February 19, 2024 • 63 mins
In a very special only child episode of Sibling Revelry, we talk to Grammy Winning artist LeAnn Rimes.The self-described introvert talks about some of her most defining moments with no siblings to lean on.Like signing a record deal at 11-years-old, and being married before she hit 20! Plus, what led to a lawsuit with her own father when she was a teen? How has her family healed ever since?And, how she's trying to put her childhood back together while being the best stepmom she can be.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:05):
Hi.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
I am Kate Hudson and my name is Oliver Hudson.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
We wanted to do something that highlighted our.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Relationship and what it's like to be siblings. We are
a sibling raivalie.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
No, no, sibling. You don't do that with your mouth, vely,
that's good, Oliver. I know how bad you want to
sing the song right now, and we need to talk
about first. You can't. I can't. We're gonna have to
(00:42):
bleep the whole thing because apparently this is like a
thing and I don't really understand it.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
This makes no sense. Our producers have cut us off
from singing songs that are not originals.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
But can't we sing a song and change the lyrics?
Speaker 2 (00:59):
Yeah? I mean, if I'm like that, man's.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
Got a lot idiot? Wait? But does now? Now?
Speaker 2 (01:10):
Am I gonna is leanne? Ryan's gonna assume me?
Speaker 1 (01:13):
I don't know. I don't think I what my theory
is or my thing. I should know this. I don't.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
I'm gonna call.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
I'm gonna say no. I think it's because you have
to license music. If we take any advertise advertising dollars,
then then any music that we use we need to
license to pay because first thing, you need to pay.
But that's the thing. You I can sing any song
(01:44):
I want. I can sing any song I want. I
can cover any song I want. I just have to
pay the artist. You can cover, you can, I know,
I pay them everything and I get I get the performance.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
Royal hold on. You can cover any song you want live,
even though there's a door charge. You're not going to
get ripped up for that.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
No.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
So, as long as it's put down on wax, Oh
damn it. As long as it's put down on wax.
You know what that means. No, you don't know what
that means.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
What does that mean right now? Oh? Oh oh yeah,
I like you meant, oh yeah, we're putting it down
on waxy. Yeah okay, yeah, I know. I know you're
talking about if you put it down on what I'm
putting my ship down wax.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Okay, if you put it down on wax, maybe then.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
We're going to figure this out and you know what,
we'll get to the bottom of it. Let's talk about this.
Leanne Rhymes. Yes, she is an only child. We haven't
really interviewed that many only children. One, she said, a
really fascinating early life. She's basically a child star. And
I'm ink to know what that's like doing alone without
(03:03):
any siblings, because we've talked about this before with a
number of different celebrities who were famous young and they
were always like a sibling that was there, had to
be dragged along. But she's like going out there alone.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
Yeah. Also just her upbringing and how that might have
affected her path being only child. Yeah, all right, well
let's bring I'm a serenade her as she comes in,
and you can't believe it, like under like a background.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
Nice. Hi, my brother wants so badly to sing to you.
Speaker 3 (03:49):
I have seen you sing this song.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
You have it? Oh my god, you're already saying it.
Le Anne. Hi, welcome to our podcast.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
We were just saying that we've we really don't have
that many only children we've had. We've we've interviewed.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
I think one, honestly, one.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
One only child.
Speaker 3 (04:12):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
I find only children very fascinating because I have so
many siblings and yeah.
Speaker 4 (04:19):
And I find that fascinating because I am an only child.
My husband's an only child too, oh wow, which usually
doesn't I don't know if that usually works, but he
had he has two boys, so I have two step
sons yea, and they were two and six when they
were first.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
In my life.
Speaker 4 (04:34):
So maybe because he had kids already, like the only
child syndrome kind of get knocked out of you with children, right.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
Yeah, did you work? Did you want siblings growing up?
Was that something you yearned for or was it just
this is why? This is it?
Speaker 4 (04:48):
It took my mom tried to have kids for like
twelve years and she was told she couldn't have children,
and so so.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
I was it.
Speaker 4 (04:55):
And I I think because I always I was performing
from such a young age, I think that was kind
of my sibling.
Speaker 3 (05:04):
It was always entertaining me.
Speaker 4 (05:05):
Like, I never really thought about having a sibling, and
I think if I did, like my life would have
taken a completely different turn. But I do have my
mom was best friends. Had a best friend from high
school named Sharon, and her two girls are they're four
years and eight years older than me, and they were
there when I was born and they basically are sisters
(05:29):
to me. So I kind of like have the best
of both worlds, which is wonderful.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
So great, Yeah, they are like my siblings.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
Where did you grow up?
Speaker 4 (05:39):
I grew up in Well, I was born in Mississippi,
but then I grew up in Texas from the time
I was six, and then I grew up on a
tour of US.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
When did that start? Thirteen?
Speaker 4 (05:48):
Yeah, I signed my record deal at eleven, and then
thirteen I.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
Was on the road, like my daughter, How old are
you me?
Speaker 3 (05:55):
I'm forty one?
Speaker 1 (05:56):
Yeah, okay, yeah, because I remember you were so young. Yeah,
And it was such a huge hit. I mean it
was like crazy, what was it?
Speaker 3 (06:09):
It was like zero to sixty?
Speaker 2 (06:10):
And was the one that was the one I'm singing?
Speaker 3 (06:14):
Yeah, it was Blue, was my first Blue?
Speaker 4 (06:17):
And then it was then I don't even I don't
even remember nothing, how Do I Live? And they came
to the light like it all kind of it was
all very back to back.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
How old were you in your road? How do I Live?
Speaker 3 (06:28):
I didn't write that, actually, Diane warned it got.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
It when you performed Diane, Please come on, Diane. How
old were you when you performed the song?
Speaker 3 (06:40):
I was fourteen?
Speaker 2 (06:42):
How Do I Live Without You? Interesting? Was there any
sort of you know, talk like, well, I mean you're
young to be talking about sort of a situation in
a relationship like how do I Live without You?
Speaker 3 (06:55):
Yes? I mean, I guess that could have been.
Speaker 4 (06:58):
I think that song is so universe that it can
be like I could have been singing.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
As parents, yeah you dog, or it could be my dog.
Speaker 3 (07:10):
You know.
Speaker 4 (07:10):
It's interesting because I never like music was Music was
always very universal to me, and I had such a
I just knew how to emotionally connect.
Speaker 3 (07:22):
From the time I was really young.
Speaker 4 (07:23):
I don't know where that came from, but my dad
used to sit me down and explain songs to me,
and so just out of the story, I had a
very vivid imagination. I mean, it's like acting like it's
you just kind of put yourself in that position. But
as I got older, living having actual life experience, like
it really does. I thought people used to People used
(07:44):
to say that to me, like when you get older,
you'll sing it from a different place, And I thought
that was bullshit, but it really wasn't.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
Well, okay, lean takus to like, when you were really little,
so so your parents couldn't have kids, were you like
a surprise?
Speaker 3 (07:57):
I was like my mom's miracle child.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
Yeah, okay, And are your parents still together?
Speaker 3 (08:03):
No, they got divorced when I was fourteen.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
Okay, Oh, that's interesting. Okay, we'll get to that. We'll
get okay. So you're a little girl, and when you
know you're growing up in Mississippi, when did you start singing?
Speaker 3 (08:21):
I was.
Speaker 4 (08:22):
My dad has tapes of me singing at eighteen months old.
What and like I was, it's so wild. I was
on pitch and I was When I sang, you could
understand what I was saying, but I would talk afterwards.
I was like mumbling. So I kind of learned how
topeak through singing.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
I think, Wow, how's your vibrato? At eighteen months old?
Speaker 3 (08:44):
It was fantastic. It was the best. It's never been better,
never has never been better.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
You know. My son bing has the same thing at
like but at like nine months old, not even maybe
even seven months old. He would sing. He would hum
starlight and he would go no no, no, no, no
no no, uh Matt song And we were like what
it was? It was? That's so nuts.
Speaker 3 (09:12):
It's weird.
Speaker 4 (09:13):
It's like to come in with you from like another
yes what I mean, like another lifetime.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
It has to I say music, that's exactly. Did you
ever read Frankie Presto and the Magic Strings? No, I
have not. It's a Mitch album book. You should read it.
And that's kind of how I see music. It's like
it's like a per it's like a it's like a
(09:40):
it's like something that's born into you.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
Accounting.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
Yeah, numbers, for sure, for sure, for sure, it's like
a beautiful mind.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
I think there's all kinds of different things, and music
is just the most incredible companion.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (09:59):
True.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
So you're how little you can sing an eighteen months old?
When was it really your parents who drove you into
music or was it you leading the way?
Speaker 3 (10:09):
No, and my dad had a love for music.
Speaker 4 (10:11):
My mom and dad both played a lot of music
in our household, and like, my mom was really into
motown and my dad was into classic rock and country,
and then my godmother was way into like Broadway show
tunes and classical and so like, I got an array
of music from a very young age, and then I started.
I danced from the time I was like two, and
my my dance teacher heard me sing one day and
(10:32):
I told my mom, She's like, you should put her
in song and dance competitions, and I that was where
I first started, at like five, So I tap dance
and sing.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
Like yeah, he did that become your mom's like was
she a stage mom?
Speaker 3 (10:49):
No?
Speaker 4 (10:50):
My, no, I you know, they my parents were really
supportive of me, but I was definitely in the driver's
seat of like, this is what I loved to do.
Speaker 3 (11:00):
And it's weird to say.
Speaker 4 (11:02):
It's crazy, like I got my record do when I
was eleven, but I'd been on stations I was five.
So by the time I was eleven, I kind of
it was what should have like, it was what I
expected to happen at that age. It's so weird to say,
but it's like I've been working towards it and it
just kind of, Yeah, everything happened so fast for me.
I mean, but at that age, like to be on
(11:24):
station three for five, it was kind.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
Of did you ever feel like you missed out? Yeah,
childhood and just the regularity.
Speaker 3 (11:32):
Of yeah, absolutely, I mean I didn't.
Speaker 4 (11:36):
So when I first was around my step son's like
I said, they were two and six, and when the
oldest turned eleven, I remember looking at him and going,
oh my god, that was like I was his age
when I signed my record deal and to see what
a normal quote unquote normal childhood was like it was
the first time I actually felt like I hadn't miss
(12:00):
out on something and the first time I had actually
realized that that wasn't normal to do what I had done.
So I think as I got older, I really did
understand like that was very abnormal. And I feel like
most of my adult life has been trying to put
my childhood back to.
Speaker 5 (12:20):
Get together right, discovering it, can I discover it?
Speaker 3 (12:24):
And like what brings me joy? Like all those things.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
So, yeah, I wondered if you felt an expectation to
being the only I guess this might go both ways.
An expectation to actually be there for your parents more
than you would say if you had a sibling, when
you might want it to maybe have been more independent,
(12:49):
or the other way around. If you felt like there
was a lot of attention on you that sometimes felt
overwhelming or smothering from your parents. Just being the only child.
Speaker 4 (13:00):
Yeah, there was a lot that was It was the
ladder of those two things, you know, being like my
mom's miracle child and then having parents that really didn't
get along, and it was kind of what I was
the glue and so you know, being the glue and
then having this incredible gift and all the focus.
Speaker 3 (13:23):
Being on you.
Speaker 4 (13:24):
I don't think I realized how smothering that was until
much later on, until therapy, therapy.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
Until the rebellions started. Oh, the rebellions.
Speaker 4 (13:37):
The rebellions started around I don't know, maybe fifteen, Yeah,
and it just kept going.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
It's really it's interesting about only children because most of
my best girlfriends are all only children and are an
only child. Ill and I find that there is definitely
a different sort of personality profile to someone who didn't
(14:08):
have siblings. It comes in different forms, but it's definitely specific.
I find the other thing that's really specific is when
you meet a girl who grew up with multiple brothers
or you meet a boy who grew up with multiple sisters.
Speaker 3 (14:26):
Oh yeah, for sure.
Speaker 1 (14:27):
It's like you can kind of pinpoint those personalities more
than any other. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
I mean, I think we're imprinting as we get older
on not just our parents, but our siblings. And it's
all happening. And when you when you don't have that,
you know, you're almost you have your parents, but then
you're sort of left to your own devices to sort
of figure you own.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
Ship given as a friend, like when you had friendships. Actually,
I find this really interesting. This is and forgive the intrusion,
and you don't have to answer this. Please go ahead,
you because I'm famous, really young, you're an only child,
and now you're trying to nurture relationships, friendships, girlfriends. Was
(15:11):
that hard? Was that like something you had to learn
how to do and connect to? Was that challenging?
Speaker 3 (15:17):
Very That's probably one of my biggest challenges.
Speaker 4 (15:21):
I'm a real introvert, and because I've had the whole
world eyes on me since I was a kid, like,
I've had such a I don't anymore, but I had
something I really had to work out. I've had such
a wall up to it's really hard to penetrate because
I feel like I've had to protect myself, like every
time I walk out into the world, like I've had
(15:43):
to protect.
Speaker 3 (15:44):
Myself and so.
Speaker 4 (15:47):
To have I have very close friendships, but girlfriends. I'm
always been really like a guy's girl. I was never
really around a lot of girls growing up, and in fact,
I had in school when I was when I was
in public school. I finished public school in sixth grade
and then I started homeschooling and did all of that
on the road.
Speaker 3 (16:08):
But I was really bullied a lot by a lot
of girls.
Speaker 4 (16:11):
And so I think that kind of shut me down
girl to female friendships. And so over the past I
don't know, maybe like decade, it's been really something I've
it's been a challenge and it's something I've worked on
and something that I've been able to find solid female friendships.
Speaker 3 (16:28):
And yeah, I've I've had to learn how to be
a friend.
Speaker 4 (16:31):
Yeah, and I actually, you know, there's some things that
I'm just really honest, like with my friends, it's like
I can't be there for that, Like that's not I
just I don't know how to be there for certain things.
And I've had to it's kind of it's been a
rub sometimes and I just have to be really honest
of like I didn't learn how to do that.
Speaker 2 (16:51):
But whatever that certain thing might be, what do you
attribute your inability to sort of be there?
Speaker 4 (16:56):
You know?
Speaker 2 (16:57):
Is that just you can't take it? Is it overwhelming?
Is it anxiety inducing?
Speaker 3 (17:01):
Well all of those things. Yeah, it is anxiety inducing
for me.
Speaker 4 (17:07):
And I think you know, my schedule being on the
road and touring so much like being gone, I'm not
I'm not fully present.
Speaker 3 (17:14):
It's funny, I just made this the beginning of this year.
Speaker 4 (17:17):
I just made a call list of like all my
friends and all my family, and I'm like, once a week,
I'm gonna pick someone and I'm gonna literally sit down
and FaceTime and see them and call them because we
text all the time.
Speaker 3 (17:28):
But it's like when I'm gone, I'm I'm actually about
to go travel to Australia in the UK, and like.
Speaker 4 (17:34):
I I'm going to be out of pocket like for
face to face meetings, and it's like I really have
to I really have to take the time and plan
to like keep these relationships going.
Speaker 3 (17:44):
It can be really challenging.
Speaker 4 (17:46):
So but I think I think the biggest part for
me is I just I just didn't. I just didn't
have a lot of those kind of interactions of friendships.
A lot of my I grew up around business and
so I didn't, and I got burned a lot, Like
I didn't know how to trust people, had a lot
of trust issues. So it's really been this like slow.
Speaker 6 (18:07):
Opening for me with relationships.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
I remember it's I had this with Reese Witherspoon where
I met Reese when I was I don't know our
age difference, but it must have been how old is
Reese whatever? We're a couple of years, a couple of
years apart, four years or something, and I was much younger,
and she was fifteen and she had this big movie
(18:39):
out and she became this like young little movie star.
But I remember being a little girl watching her and
there with her, looking up to her, going you know,
oh my god, this girl's amazing and I want to
be friends with her. And she's fun and she's every thing.
(19:00):
And if I if I put myself in her shoes,
that must have been really hard for her because I'm
looking up to her like, oh wow, more like idolizing,
whereas what someone in that time in your life, you
really just want a friend, you know, you don't.
Speaker 3 (19:18):
Want someone even even on your level, even keel.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
Yeah, you don't want to be idolized. You just and
then and then I guess that's where you kind of
would go, Oh, that's you know, I can't trust that,
or I don't want to.
Speaker 2 (19:33):
I can't deal with ulterior motives. What do they want?
Speaker 1 (19:37):
Yeah, I just wanted to move to Nashville and like
have her mom's peach pie.
Speaker 4 (19:46):
I think that I think that is a big thing
of you know, wondering if there's like why are people here? Yeah,
why do they want to be close to me and
I I am so fortunate now I think, like I said,
over the last decade, I've really been able to cultivate
like a really good group of people that I know
just want to be around me.
Speaker 3 (20:06):
For me, that's such a beautiful thing to have.
Speaker 1 (20:12):
How were your parents when you started, you know, on
the road. Well, well, let's back up just a little bit.
So you were you started doing contests like going out
and right, and then weren't you on like were you
(20:32):
on weren't you on the Star Search?
Speaker 3 (20:36):
I was on Star?
Speaker 1 (20:37):
Yeah that's right, Star Star? Yeah, yes, Oh that's so fun.
I used to watch Star Search all the time.
Speaker 3 (20:46):
Our search was the best.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
What was his name?
Speaker 1 (20:50):
And of course, okay, so you're now was your mom
super protected? And it was usually your mom with you
or your dad? Are both?
Speaker 4 (21:01):
They both were with me for a while and they
got divorced and then my mom kind of went off
the road. My dad was with me, so my dad
managed me and it was produced me and it was
it became I ended up in a lawsuit with my
dad when I was.
Speaker 3 (21:15):
Sixteen for like three years.
Speaker 4 (21:17):
It was a nightmare, Like I have, parents should be parents.
Speaker 3 (21:22):
That's all about it.
Speaker 4 (21:23):
My experience is like when you start when money starts
entering the picture and you're managing a career and your
your child becomes you know, a commodity, and it just
you lose sight of your child.
Speaker 1 (21:38):
Yeah, unless you're christ Jenner, then you want then you
want right.
Speaker 3 (21:44):
Because she's a yeah.
Speaker 4 (21:47):
But no, I feel like it just was not It
did not work, and especially after my parents got divorced
and like the whole deal, my mom was super protective
and I ended up moving to La by myself when
I I was sixteen.
Speaker 2 (22:01):
Jesus, I was about to I was about to ask like,
who did you turn to during that? And moving back
into the sort of siblings speak. You know, sometimes when
your parents get divorced and you have siblings, you have somebody.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
You know.
Speaker 4 (22:15):
So my girlfriend Chrissy, who I mentioned earlier, who is
like my my sister.
Speaker 3 (22:21):
She actually she's only four years older than me.
Speaker 4 (22:24):
So I was, I mean not like she was like
someone who could really like look after me.
Speaker 3 (22:28):
I was.
Speaker 4 (22:29):
I was fifteen at the time, she was nineteen. She
was on the road with me all we were like
little hell raisers.
Speaker 1 (22:34):
Oh my gosh, that sounds like fun. It was the best.
Speaker 4 (22:39):
But she came out with me and she was really
kind of my rock at that point in my life.
And then I moved to la when I was sixteen
and lived with a boyfriend, which my parents were.
Speaker 3 (22:49):
Super excited about. Yeah, for like three and a half years.
And then and then my my first husband.
Speaker 4 (22:56):
I married my first husband when I was nineteen, but
like by nineteen I thought I was thirty.
Speaker 1 (23:02):
Yeah, well you, I mean that makes sense. You did
a lot. Yeah, Oh gosh, I don't even know where
to start. I mean, I don't even know where to
go back to.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
You don't have to go back anywhere.
Speaker 1 (23:15):
No, I do, because I want to know. I want
to know what the So, so when you signed a
record deal or I would assume that your father, who
did you sign with?
Speaker 4 (23:27):
I signed with Curb Records at the time, so that's
also I went into At the same time I went
to a lawsuit with my dad, I was also in
a lawsuit with my record label. Okay, yeah, because I
have what's known as the worst still in music history.
I was like in the deal till I was like
thirty two years old. So I thought that and ended
(23:50):
up re signing with them. Because it was kind of
the only way I could get out of it and
make music again into a normal contract. And then I
ended up I think I was twenty and when I
ended up like parting ways with.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
Them, Holy shit, that's crazy. I didn't know that. And
was your dad the one who made that deal?
Speaker 3 (24:08):
Yeah, I mean that's the thing.
Speaker 4 (24:10):
Like, you know, I had an entertainment lawyer at the
time who was also my co manager. It was all
very ancestual and so you know, my dad, my mom. Look,
I have no animosity against my parents, Like they did
the best that they could with what they knew, which
wasn't a lot, you know. And it's when you're coming
(24:31):
from no money and we lived in this little apartment
in Texas and it's like everything's kind of being laid
out there in front of you.
Speaker 3 (24:38):
That's your your daughter's dream.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
You know, do you do?
Speaker 3 (24:42):
You go for it? And so it's taken me a
long time to get to this place.
Speaker 4 (24:46):
But I you know, I really like, I just I
know my parents did the best they could they knew.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
So music is complicated, like even just understanding who gets
what and publishing versus the well, there's just there's so
many different there's so many different avenues to make money,
and when you're signing a deal, I'm not so sure
that people who are young or who know they probably
(25:14):
nowadays it's a little bit different because so many people
have been outspoken about it, But I'm not so sure
that people really understand what goes into it and what
they're really signing because it's you know.
Speaker 4 (25:26):
And especially now these days, like there's three sixty deals,
so people are taking part of you know, they want
to take part of your touring, they want to marge
and it's like a whole.
Speaker 3 (25:33):
They want to take you basically like your first born.
Speaker 4 (25:37):
So it's it's way different than back in the day
when it was just about records.
Speaker 1 (25:41):
Yeah, it's it's it's and and like you said, you
know your parents at the time, I mean they probably
had no I mean they could only they only knew
what they knew exactly.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
Well, you're the one who had to do the reconciling.
Did you have these feelings of forgiveness and compassion and
basically say, you know what you did the best that
you could. Fucking love you guys, let's bring it in.
Speaker 3 (26:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:04):
This was after she sued her father. It was I mean,
it's so crazy.
Speaker 4 (26:10):
So my first my first marriage, my dad actually ended up.
We had our first we had bothered daughter dance, Like
we reconciled about a week before, so it was like
he was there and it was really awkward. And it's
taken a long time to get to a place where
we can like really talk to each other. But yes,
(26:32):
it's been a lot of therapy and work on my
part to work on myself so.
Speaker 3 (26:39):
That no matter where they are with their own stuff
around it, I feel I feel at peace with where
I'm at, you know, so, and it's taken a long time.
Speaker 4 (26:51):
I mean, when it's you know, when you're an only
child and it's your poor family, like that really kind
of you end up like the big bomb just comes
in the middle of you and just like you know,
obliterates everything. I mean, the trauma from that that I
(27:12):
obviously didn't know back in back when I was younger,
but as I got older, I was like, oh, there's.
Speaker 1 (27:16):
A lot, there's a lot dumb.
Speaker 2 (27:19):
Isn't it crazy though? Isn't it so crazy? How? But
it's also in the moment, you're not understanding what that
trauma is because we have no life experience and as
you get into relationships and as you sort of discover
who you are, is when you realize how fucking fucked
up you are in the trauma, how it's come to life.
Speaker 4 (27:38):
Absolutely, And when you're in relationships, you see the trauma
come right out in the forefront, and you're like, oh,
in order to keep these relationships or in order to
build these friendships that I want to build, I'm going
to have to deal with my shit.
Speaker 2 (27:54):
Do you like the work? Do you like the self reflection?
I do so difficult.
Speaker 3 (27:59):
I do enjoy it.
Speaker 4 (28:01):
I mean definitely, it's been definitely difficult at times, but
I do.
Speaker 3 (28:08):
Enjoy it.
Speaker 4 (28:08):
And when you start to get that momentum after you
think some things have started to shift, you're like, this
is good, Like what else can I dig it?
Speaker 2 (28:17):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (28:17):
Yeah, the break go.
Speaker 2 (28:19):
No, It's it's so funny because I've been through all
my wellness shit and I've talked about on this podcast
a thousand times. But you do get in the zone,
the zone of sort of getting better. But then you
get a little bit better, and then the upkeep is
hard for me, meaning I'll do my meditations, I'll write
in my journal because I feel like shit and I've
got to deal with my anxiety or whatever. And the
(28:41):
minute I'm like, I feel pretty good, and then I
stop meditating and I stop writing in my journal. And
it's the easiest and the hardest thing to do ten
minutes of the day to sit down and just be
with myself. But I reject it and reject it and
come up with excuses not to. Oh, it's so easy
to do it.
Speaker 4 (28:58):
But the human condition, right, And I think the more
we can accept that, it becomes like, the more we
can because I'm such a perfectionist, or I say I'm
recovering perfectionists, because I would be one of those people
that it's like.
Speaker 3 (29:15):
If you're if you take therapy and you take all.
Speaker 4 (29:18):
Of these these tools, and ultimately, because you're not doing them,
you're beating yourself up.
Speaker 3 (29:23):
I mean, you're kind of defeating the purpose.
Speaker 4 (29:24):
And so it's like, the more we can, the more
we can, yes keep ourselves, you know, on on the
right path, but also give ourselves some grace when we
feel a bit like that's the key.
Speaker 1 (29:40):
Oliver is given himself too much grace.
Speaker 2 (29:42):
Yeah, every night.
Speaker 1 (29:48):
The perfectionist is not the word to describe, okay, A,
it's more discipline.
Speaker 2 (30:02):
No. But but here's the thing. It's true. I am
not a perfectionist.
Speaker 1 (30:08):
Wait is that mine?
Speaker 4 (30:10):
No?
Speaker 1 (30:10):
Are you sure? Because I have the pants, I.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
Have the whole outfit. Okay, yeah, it's it's LaRue or whatever. Okay,
just relax. You have enough clothes. I need clothes. I
have to buy my clothes. You don't. But so, perfectionism
is funny to bring this up from the outside. It
doesn't look like I'm a perfectionist. But what holds me
(30:33):
back from my creativity and from reaching my potential as
a creative person is fear. Is fear and perfectionism. Because
I will sit down and start to write something and
if it's not fucking perfect, I just stop, rather than
letting my brain go vomiting on a page and then
coming back.
Speaker 1 (30:54):
That's follow through. That's the problem.
Speaker 2 (30:57):
No, I need to be perfect in the beginning instead
of just being like, oh right.
Speaker 3 (31:02):
I understand that. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (31:03):
I want people to see my process like I was
just I'm recording. I did a chant record in twenty twenty.
I'm recording at my second one right now. And when
recording chance like we it's very different for me the
process than recording like a regular record because there's a
structure of a song. Normally with a regular record, there's
(31:24):
a first course, first course, and it's all good with chance.
Like we write, we write a little section and then
we kind of like build out from there. And so
it's a real process in the studio of like let's vomit,
like you say, let's vomit and see what comes out.
Speaker 3 (31:39):
And so I invited some friends in the other day
and I'm like, I don't even know why I did that.
Speaker 4 (31:44):
I must love you guys, because I hate people seeing
this process because I feel like it needs to be
like in a pretty box before anybody sees it.
Speaker 3 (31:51):
Yeah, I understand that.
Speaker 4 (31:53):
And I think it was like unconscious of me to
invite people in because I think I'm trying to break
that for myself.
Speaker 3 (32:00):
Yeah, it's a good thing to try to break for sure.
Speaker 1 (32:12):
The one thing for me with writing lyrics that was
the biggest thing for me was having the structure of time.
When someone said you need to get your lyrics down
by tuesday. You know, get these done by Tuesday or Wednesday,
even if they're bad. But we just we just need
to lay some lay it down and get you know,
(32:34):
and the best thing for me in that process was
being okay writing bad lyrics and being like fuck it.
I decid I'm going to put it down and then
I'm going to go sing it and if I hate it,
I hate it, and I hate it already, but then
I'm gonna hate it and then I'm going to sit
with it. But at least I have something.
Speaker 2 (32:53):
Sure, you have something to work off of.
Speaker 1 (32:55):
And what I realized was that some of them might changed,
but so love them actually ended up being what I
thought was like the perfectionist in me was like, these
are so shitty. I would say I seeing them, and
I go, I really like, yeah, you really like.
Speaker 2 (33:11):
So I'm stream of consciousness writing, like a ton of
stream consciousness writing, and uh, you know, I like to write,
and when I write from my feelings, I'm actually writer.
So I read sometimes I read back my stream of
consciousness writing, which is just pen on paper. I'm sure
you've done it, and I'll read it back and it's
(33:32):
so fucking good. Yeah that's incredible, you know. So I
mean it does sort of say, it does sort of
speak to letting go your creativity, just just unleashing it,
and you're bound to find nuggets there, well.
Speaker 3 (33:53):
You for sure you are.
Speaker 4 (33:54):
I mean like that's kind of with this chat record
where I walk in every day going let's see what
we can and uncover, because it's otherwise when there's too
much structure, then there's I feel like there's so much
you miss because you're trying to fit in this box
that if you don't color outside those lines, like and
see what another picture you can discover. But I think
(34:18):
it takes there. Trust me, I know that fear deeply
as being a good with being a creator, and I
think it's taken me. I think it's taken me enough
times of like getting brave enough to color outside the
lines and discovering something cool to go oh, like it's
like a new neural pathway of like oh, I remember,
(34:40):
it might suck for a moment, but like there's something
out there that I'm going to discovery. So I think
it's doing it enough to start creating that new neural
pathway of like of a new you know, new exploration.
Speaker 2 (34:56):
Totally, yeah, totally.
Speaker 1 (34:58):
Can you share with us how you got into what
the album is called God's Work, the last one you
just toured, and now explain your religious connection? Are you?
Are you religious? Are your pual?
Speaker 4 (35:15):
I'm I grew up Southern Baptists and had a lot of.
Speaker 3 (35:20):
Challenges around the way I was raised. And look, if
organized religion works, are people amazing all for it? I
just find that there's a lot there's a lot of
disc it keeps us disconnected from one another and so on.
Speaker 4 (35:42):
When I had a lot of time, like everybody to
sit around and you know, during COVID and question the
big things. One of the biggest questions for myself is,
you know, how do I move out of my own way?
I guess this kind of goes back to what we
were just talking about, how do I move out of
my own way to be more of a conduit for
a more loving as a more loving being and as
a creator?
Speaker 3 (36:02):
Like how can I allow things to flow through me.
Speaker 4 (36:08):
That are based in love? And so and that really
brought up a lot of a lot of old stuff
around like how I was raised in religion and how
much that keeps us divided. And it's like, you know,
are we if we're trying to create a better world
for each other? Like why are we still why are
we still keeping this division going?
Speaker 3 (36:29):
And so it's funny, why.
Speaker 1 (36:30):
Are we fighting over which God.
Speaker 4 (36:33):
Yeah, we're all talking about the same thing, right, like
ultimately at the end of the day. So when I
started working on this record, I knew God's Work was
the title because I knew it would be very polarizing,
which I loved because I think people thought they knew
what it was about. Like I remember so many people
when I released it that were like, why did you
release a Christian record?
Speaker 3 (36:53):
I'm like, you haven't listened to it, Like, it's not.
Speaker 4 (36:58):
About that actually, And so I knew it would draw people,
and I knew it would confuse a lot of people,
and I just that's what art is, right, Like I
wanted people to listen to it and take from it
what they what they were going to take from.
Speaker 3 (37:10):
It, you know, for themselves.
Speaker 1 (37:12):
And when you do when you're writing the chance your
chance are is it something that you kind of see
as a channel like you go.
Speaker 4 (37:22):
In, Yeah, absolutely, I'll meditate and usually I'll just start
singing a lot. I look at my chant album is
kind of like Mantra puts musics, right, I mean, we
I write chants all the time because.
Speaker 3 (37:34):
I write courses, and courses are pretty much chanced.
Speaker 4 (37:37):
So I was like, well, can't I take that and
create more of a chant record and really kind of
put they basically make it a mantra based record. So
I'll sit in my own meditations and start feeling like
what wants to be said? What do I need to hear?
And all of a sudden, I'll just start singing, and
(37:58):
I'll put my phone on and I'll press board, and like,
most of the time, I love it.
Speaker 3 (38:03):
Sometimes absolute shit.
Speaker 2 (38:04):
And is it just repetition based?
Speaker 3 (38:07):
Repetition based? Yea?
Speaker 2 (38:09):
And is is it lyrics or sounds or both?
Speaker 3 (38:14):
Yeah, that's cool, really fun. It's been really Yeah, it's been.
Speaker 2 (38:19):
Do you listen to chanting different sort of spiritual chanting
like the Giotto Monks and all that, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (38:25):
I do. I do.
Speaker 4 (38:26):
But it's interesting because a lot of chanting isn't very musical.
There's some beautiful chanting, but it's not very musical. So
I think it's kind of for me, it was like
taking the best of both worlds of like this whole
you know, the real spiritual chanting, and then kind of
this idea of this kind of like some pop melodies
(38:47):
but not making the chance sound too much like songs,
but keeping the repetition going.
Speaker 3 (38:51):
So people can really follow.
Speaker 4 (38:52):
Along, and I just want people to you know, it's
hooky enough that when people walk away, you know, when
they then they press stop, they can walk away with
these really beautiful mantras in their head going around and round.
Speaker 3 (39:06):
To lift them up. That's really Ultimately.
Speaker 1 (39:11):
I'm gonna I'm gonna rewind.
Speaker 2 (39:12):
No, yes, God damn it. I want to ask one thing,
go ahead, just from going back to the whole fear
I know, we're just going back to the whole fear
based thing. You know, when you when you take a
departure sort of from who Leanne Rhymes is and however
that you're being perceived and now you are doing this
taking a chance with these records, are you is there?
(39:33):
We worry that it's not going to take you know
that that people have put money into this and it's
not going to sell from the business side of things,
or do you just not participate mentally into that, You're like,
I'm going to do my art. Fuck it.
Speaker 3 (39:45):
There is a bit yes and no.
Speaker 4 (39:50):
I mean I'm very aware of like you know, here
I put my own money into it. People have other
people have put their money into it. Like, ultimately, it's
not about that for me, I hope it does, but.
Speaker 3 (40:04):
Yeah, it's more for me.
Speaker 4 (40:06):
It's always been more about focused on the art, do
what I love, and if people get it, they get it.
And sometimes people get it like two years later. Like
sometimes it's like it just takes a moment to catch
on because people have this idea of you in their
head and it's you know, after they hear you talk
about it for a year or two.
Speaker 3 (40:25):
They're like, oh, we really, like we really dig this,
we could get on board.
Speaker 4 (40:28):
So sometimes it just takes a moment. But I really,
for me nowadays, it's like I just kind of go
in the direction of what lights me up to create.
Speaker 1 (40:38):
Yeah, I'm the same. I just I just channel the
Andre three thousand method and like just be like, you
know what, I'm making an album and it's going to
be a flute and.
Speaker 3 (40:49):
You're doing that, by the way, it's amazing.
Speaker 1 (40:51):
Oh thanks, Yeah, I love it. I've always I've always
loved writing music, but like.
Speaker 2 (40:56):
I just go for whatever's going to pay.
Speaker 1 (41:00):
Me hundred eighty three thousand. Making a flute album is
one of the great things of all time.
Speaker 2 (41:08):
And it's good.
Speaker 1 (41:13):
And everyone's like he's got a coming on. They're like
it's the flute, and you're like, yeah, and it's awesome.
Speaker 2 (41:19):
Yeah, it's fine, No, it's it's awesome.
Speaker 1 (41:24):
And if we wouldn't get sued, i'd play a little bit.
But Leanne, you your story is different than a lot
of pop stars stories, which is that you came in
hot and then after you had your big like young thing,
it was hard. I mean I kind of want to
(41:45):
get into that a little bit with you, if you'd
share it, because I think that when we put pressure
on kids and you have that kind of fame and
then there's an expectation after that. Also, I want to
I want to know how that felt for you, and
then how would kind of look at that and say,
at the end of the day, it's not how many
records you're selling anymore, but it is who you are
(42:05):
as an artist, because no one's on top for us, No,
no one is.
Speaker 4 (42:10):
And it's interesting Madonna, not even Madonna, I mean, everybody's
you know, like she's had moments where like, you know,
she's kind of you just kind of.
Speaker 1 (42:20):
Go off and it's a roller coaster. It is.
Speaker 3 (42:22):
It's such a roller coaster. It's interesting.
Speaker 1 (42:26):
Okay, Yes, for Paul McCartney, Yeah, there you go.
Speaker 4 (42:28):
Yeah, we definitely my age and my story was so
big at such a young age. And my record label
like had acquired all of these records when I signed,
Like I'd started making albums at like eight, and so
they had acquired all of this music beforehand. So not
only did they put out my first album within I
(42:49):
guess a year, I had like three albums out because
of like all this music had beforehand. So it was
it like they were they were making money, they were
they weren't trying to develop an artist, and so you know,
it was it was a very fast like it was
a very fast burned.
Speaker 3 (43:06):
I was in people's faces all the time.
Speaker 4 (43:08):
And then then I, you know, I started we started
in country music. Then I had these huge crossover hits,
and people country music wanted to disown me, like because
you're not supposed to cross over dip hop artists, as
you know, and I I fought that battle for a
long time. Like there were where nowadays there's not a
(43:29):
lot of you know, there's not a lot of lines
drawn around like genres of music.
Speaker 3 (43:34):
They're much more blurred there were back in the day.
Speaker 1 (43:37):
And so yes, and you were so young.
Speaker 3 (43:39):
Yeah, but then people but that I did.
Speaker 1 (43:41):
And that's so I mean, imagine, how imagine what that
must feel like to be fourteen, fifteen years old and
to have that kind of pressure at you, that kind
of pole polarizing back and forth about you. You're fifteen,
You're developing your brain, everything's developing. It's like that's hard.
Speaker 4 (44:01):
And you want, like people expect you to do the
same thing for the rest of your life when you
start as a fetus, like that's possible. So I think
at I guess my late twenties, I really started developing
my artistry like that was always there, but I really
started writing my music.
Speaker 3 (44:20):
And I just like I said earlier, I just like
the music business is insane.
Speaker 4 (44:26):
And there's such a game to play, and I don't
I don't want to play the game, Like.
Speaker 3 (44:31):
I just I want to make music.
Speaker 4 (44:33):
I want to make people feel something like that's what
it's about for me. And I know if I stick
to that at like this rollercoaster that I've been writing forever,
like there will be more ups and I know they'll
be downs, but like the I've been doing this for
thirty years, like I'm one of the few that can
say that that people still listen and still give a shit.
(44:55):
And so I'm lucky, Like I'm lucky that people have
grown into seeing what kind of artists I am and
they support that.
Speaker 3 (45:04):
And it's not just about.
Speaker 4 (45:06):
Commercial music, because if I could go do that in
a heartbeat, I've done it. I've recorded songs that I
don't sing anymore because I don't like them. They've been hits,
and I'm like, I didn't like it in the first place,
but I did it because I knew it would be
it would be successful, and so that's just soul sucking.
That's really really soul sucking. And so finally one day
in my late twenties, I was like, I can't do
that anymore.
Speaker 2 (45:27):
So you have do you ever have like pop hits
running around in your head where you're like, man, I'm
not gonna do that, but that would be huge.
Speaker 1 (45:36):
I think we all want those. I'm not so sure
you'd be like, no, well maybe someone else. Yeah, No.
Speaker 3 (45:47):
I think I think there's a way to have it
all over all.
Speaker 4 (45:52):
I think there's a way to have some pop hits
that have some substance.
Speaker 3 (45:55):
I would hope, but it's it's rare.
Speaker 4 (45:57):
That those breakthrough these days because it doesn't seem like
I don't know, there's a lot of substance anymore.
Speaker 3 (46:03):
I feel kind of bad for music in general.
Speaker 5 (46:05):
Sometimes, how long have you been with Eddie?
Speaker 3 (46:16):
Now we've been married, we'll be married thirteen years in April.
Speaker 1 (46:21):
That feels like yesterday. I know that's when, yes, because
I mean we all remember it, but you know, it
really does feel like yesterday. That's so crazy. So you're
raising you're helping raise two boys, And how's that been
(46:42):
for you? Being an only child? The transition into that,
you know, was that like discovering I know we hit
on a little bit, but was it like discovering a
whole new world?
Speaker 3 (46:53):
Yes?
Speaker 4 (46:54):
That was especially boys, because they beat the crap out
of each other, like up until like maybe a couple
of years ago, and now they're Mason will be twenty
one soon and Jake's yeah, so yeah, just until a
couple of years ago when Jake got big enough to
actually like kick his brother's ass. And so now they
now have stopped fighting. But yeah, Mason's sixty six, Jake's
(47:16):
like six ' three, and they there are men, they're
like and so when I first was around them, I
would like they would just start fighting in the whole deal,
and I'm like, Eddy.
Speaker 3 (47:27):
Is this is this what's supposed to happen? Is normal?
Speaker 4 (47:30):
So it was it was such a shocker for me,
but it was so you know, like I've really I
really really enjoyed getting to be around them and to
help raise them.
Speaker 2 (47:42):
When do you start to find your voice is like
a step mom.
Speaker 4 (47:45):
I was just about to say it took a while
to settle in, like I would say, I would say
it felt like very much an outsider for about three
or four years.
Speaker 3 (47:53):
Yeah, and then after that I.
Speaker 4 (47:55):
Started to I kind of started to settle into that role.
And it's like you kind of you don't know your place.
You feel like you need to especially when they're younger,
like you really need to show up in your household.
Speaker 3 (48:06):
Is like a mother figure.
Speaker 4 (48:09):
And then after a while you're kind of like, I'm
just gonna sit back. You guys have a great time
and joy parenting. I'll be over here, you know if
you need help, Like if the boys want to come
to me and ask me a question, I'm here to help.
Like it kind of ended up that way of like
I'm here to love, but like I don't need to
get in anybody's way.
Speaker 1 (48:28):
Yeah, it's a fine balance instead being a stepparent so
hard it is, it's a challenging.
Speaker 2 (48:36):
Well, there's a lot of factors.
Speaker 1 (48:38):
There's a lot of fact Yeah, challenging.
Speaker 2 (48:40):
That's right, that's right.
Speaker 1 (48:42):
It matters. You know. We we have a great situation
with my ex Matt and riders out of the house,
so he's cooked. But like, but but Being is twelve
and a really we're basically like we like travel together.
(49:04):
It's like we vacation together. You know, we are and
and our step mom, i mean Being's step mom and Danny,
my man and his stepdad. It's like the perfect scenario
because we're such present parents, me and Matt that everybody
is involved, like we do our parent teacher conferences together,
(49:27):
and Being's just got like the.
Speaker 2 (49:29):
Best he does pretty good scenarios scenario.
Speaker 4 (49:32):
Yeah, I mean we've gotten to that place where I
mean I've always kind of gone to to all the
boys school stuff and been involved.
Speaker 3 (49:39):
And you know, are their mom, and.
Speaker 4 (49:43):
We we have Christmas together and Thanksgiving and that kind
of stuff, and you know it can still be a
little sticky sometimes, but it's just.
Speaker 3 (49:52):
Like that's just relation.
Speaker 1 (49:54):
Yeah, that's yeah. Well, it's yeah, absolutely, do you do
Are you still in therapy?
Speaker 2 (49:59):
I mean are you done?
Speaker 3 (50:01):
Oh? No, I mean are we ever done or never done?
Speaker 2 (50:05):
I I just haven't been there in a minute, and
I'm like, God, I probably should, but his price is
going up.
Speaker 4 (50:11):
No, I mean I'll take I'll take breaks, but I
definitely am always doing you know, some some kind of
form of something like a therapy, talk therapy.
Speaker 3 (50:22):
I'll do breath.
Speaker 4 (50:23):
Work and like things that I feel, you know, kind
of really open me.
Speaker 3 (50:27):
Up and keep me connected. So it is never.
Speaker 2 (50:29):
Ending, but it is, but it's it's actually.
Speaker 4 (50:34):
I've actually calmed down on it like I used to.
I used to try to do everything to try to
make myself better, right, and now I've really kind of
like settled into myself and so there's a lot more being,
you know, being this instead of like constantly an acceptance
of where I'm at now, instead of trying to like
(50:54):
get out of the place that I'm at. And maybe
that's because I've done so much work that I'm now
kind of in this place.
Speaker 2 (51:00):
Of Yeah, if you had to pull one thing out
of yourself to heal it more, you know what I mean,
And we're able to put it up on the wall
and look at it. What would that thing be?
Speaker 3 (51:15):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (51:16):
Wow, you know, I mean I think everything boils down
for me to abandonment issues. So I think, you know,
to really feel secure, and I think I think I've
gotten I've gotten to a place where I feel so
I feel very secure in myself, knowing that I can
take care of me no matter what, what, what are
(51:36):
who comes and goes. Yeah, but that took a while
because I was, you know, I was so dependent on
my parents and for everything, not just parenting but then
for business. And so when that broke up, I think
that was such a big, a big trauma.
Speaker 2 (51:53):
Yeah, the abandonment thing is good, but see abandon I
can relate to that. And if I was to break
mind down, it would be the root would be abandonment,
but then pulling from that, getting more specific, would be
sort of lack of self love, self worth, which is
which is which is what I would work on probably
the most. When I did this situation, I went to
(52:16):
a place called the Hoffmansstitute. Kate shut up. I left
there as the uh as what I knew I could
be my potential, my full potential as a human being,
you know, it's a hunter's a honeymoon phase, and then
you sort of slip back into the real world and
shit starts to pile on a little bit. You have
a tool, more tools in your school box, but you
(52:38):
leave that fucking place like, oh my god, like, this
is who I this is my potential now and it
all stems from that true belief in who you are,
that true love for who you are against all odds
and no matter what anyone says or does to you,
I love who I am, which is not an easy
place to get to, by the way, it's.
Speaker 3 (52:57):
Not I've done a lot of have you done our
work at all?
Speaker 4 (53:01):
It's really interesting. I've done to me MDR work over
the past year. Yes, yes, so I've done that over
the past year and that's really been helpful. But the
one thing I've learned in that therapy is my one
of my deepest beliefs. Maybe you can relate to this
(53:23):
is I'm bad. And it's really simple and fundamental and
probably started when I was an infant.
Speaker 3 (53:31):
Of I'm bad.
Speaker 4 (53:32):
And you know, like as kids, we internalize everything because
we're so dependent on our parents, Like anything that happens
is is it's my fault. Like, you know, we think
it's all the world with robs around us. So I
internalized from very early on is I'm bad, and like
what comes out of that, like is just wild how
(53:52):
it has manifested itself. So I relate because I think
I really had a lot of self worth issues for
so long, and I think E. M. D R has
probably been one of one of the most helpful things
in in softening.
Speaker 3 (54:08):
I guess those beliefs.
Speaker 1 (54:11):
That's amazing.
Speaker 2 (54:12):
I've heard a lot about it.
Speaker 1 (54:14):
Allie sent me this great like real on Instagram.
Speaker 2 (54:18):
It was high music.
Speaker 1 (54:21):
No, Allie sends me high and I sent sends me
like weird music. And sometimes I'm like, wow, that was
some good some great ones. And then sometimes I'm like,
this is so like old Alie. Like Allie's just old
E d M music.
Speaker 2 (54:39):
It's good.
Speaker 1 (54:39):
It's like M meets like R and B weird touching.
It's like what he's just way to But now I
forgot it was Oh it was this great reel about
uh this this gentleman talking about how you speak to
(55:03):
your kids that you are you are what becomes their
inner voice. So and you're yelling at them in the
morning or you're telling them before they go to bed
and you get get your you know, criticizing them or
judging them, that these are the things that are creating
that inner voice. And and it was so powerful to
(55:25):
me because Cowboy and oh that's who that was, okay,
and but it was so beautiful. It was really a
must because and he said, I didn't have that, So
I didn't have someone who gave me the opportunity to
have an inner voice that was nurturing or safe. I mean,
(55:48):
I'm now speaking for him, but calm or you know,
warm and and we don't realize how impactful how we
each our children, but we do it all the time. Yeah,
and you're like, oh wait, stop, you know what I mean.
It's not nice. It doesn't feel good.
Speaker 2 (56:11):
And you know, when they're being like total assholes, like
they deserve it some of it, like they need some
of it. There has to be some tough.
Speaker 1 (56:18):
Okay, Okay, you know, how was your tour? Did you
enjoy it? I did?
Speaker 3 (56:23):
I always I love touring. I do. I am.
Speaker 4 (56:27):
Actually the end of last year, no, the end of
twenty twenty two, I was supposed to do a Christmas
tour and I burst a blood vessel on my vocal
cord from coughing, which was awful, and I.
Speaker 3 (56:39):
Was on voice rest for like completely for like four weeks.
Speaker 4 (56:42):
I had to cancel my Christmas tour, and so getting
back into touring this year was the first like six
months was like I've been I'd rehabbed it, and it
was like slowly I was performing, but it was like
complete rehab honestly for like six months. And so yeah,
it was I loved playing this music. I loved playing
(57:03):
this record.
Speaker 1 (57:04):
It's how to perform chant music.
Speaker 3 (57:08):
So we just did I loved this.
Speaker 4 (57:11):
We just did this performance here at this beautiful Presbyterian
church in August.
Speaker 7 (57:16):
And it was we did we We did it with
them the candle the candlelight people who like set up
like three thousand candles in this incredible church.
Speaker 4 (57:28):
And there was piano and percussion and strings and it
was literally I took people through some meditations and we
literally sat and I performed like a bunch of chant
chant music, and it was It's the first time I've
ever done that. Talk about doing something different that I'm like,
this is.
Speaker 3 (57:44):
Either gonna suck, I have no idea what I'm doing.
Speaker 4 (57:49):
And it was so incredible that I'm like, I fell
in love with that kind of performance. Like I literally
sat there on my little like yoga cushion and just
sang to everybody and it was so beautiful. So I'm
going to do more of that when the next chant
record comes out.
Speaker 1 (58:03):
So yeah, that's exciting.
Speaker 3 (58:06):
Love it.
Speaker 2 (58:08):
All right. I think we're you know what I want
to go back to and finish to set the book end. Yes,
you said something in the very beginning that if you
had a sibling, you think your life might have been different. Yeah,
how do you think that? Where do you? How do
you why?
Speaker 8 (58:24):
I feel like I was I needed a lot of
energy for my parents, Like I feel like my my
gift and what I you know, my my voice and
singing like it took up so much time. I I
think it would I think it would have been hard
on my sibling.
Speaker 3 (58:43):
To have that kind of energy going toward one child.
Speaker 4 (58:49):
In my mind, it would have taken away a lot
of a lot of love and nurturing and energy from them.
So I think I think it would have just been
really hard on my parents.
Speaker 3 (58:59):
And I don't know of I don't know if.
Speaker 4 (59:01):
I would have had, you know, the dedication from them completely,
like the time and energy from them to be able
to do what I know, how it would have turned out.
Speaker 2 (59:13):
Yeah, no, I know. Imagine if it was just me,
I know.
Speaker 3 (59:18):
Imagine how many siblings, how many siblings.
Speaker 2 (59:19):
Are could have been great, could have been great. We
have we're blood.
Speaker 1 (59:25):
If you didn't have siblings, you'd be a nightmare.
Speaker 2 (59:28):
I probably did. We're blood. And then we have a
half Wyatt and a step Boston. And then we have
two halfs from Dad, Emily and Zach, who we are
currently like super connected to now and it's been amazing
and Case made that all happen, and it's been really
(59:49):
really fun to get to go to the Hudson side
of the family, like pretty special. And then we have
another half brother who's an older gentleman who we just
found out about five or six years.
Speaker 1 (01:00:00):
Ago and longer than that. And then we have a
younger and.
Speaker 2 (01:00:03):
We have a and then we have a younger who's.
Speaker 1 (01:00:05):
Younger than my son. Right, she's younger, so his aunt
is two years younger.
Speaker 2 (01:00:11):
Than Yeah, there's a lot of like there's so many
of you, with a lot of different people.
Speaker 1 (01:00:16):
The Italian.
Speaker 2 (01:00:21):
And then according to Tony, potentially another one.
Speaker 1 (01:00:27):
It all tracks and DNA is strong, right, but we're
the only blood yeah, blood of like all oh and
Zach and Emily and.
Speaker 2 (01:00:36):
Zach and Emily.
Speaker 1 (01:00:37):
Yeah yeah, very cool.
Speaker 3 (01:00:40):
I ever need a sibling, I'm just.
Speaker 1 (01:00:41):
Just killing one.
Speaker 2 (01:00:45):
Ranked them. Thank you so much.
Speaker 3 (01:00:51):
To talk to you.
Speaker 1 (01:00:52):
I can't wait to hear the new chant album.
Speaker 3 (01:00:54):
Thank you very much.
Speaker 4 (01:00:55):
Yes, when it's done, I'll send it, send it over.
Thanks guys, Okay.
Speaker 1 (01:01:03):
Bye, awesome, get under no come well, they're definitely not
gonna that. You won't get sued for that because.
Speaker 2 (01:01:20):
I mean, let's just take a risk. The worst thing
they can do is you got to take it out,
you know what I mean, Like, we gotta live on this.
We're gonna live on the edge.
Speaker 1 (01:01:27):
That's true.
Speaker 3 (01:01:28):
Living only.
Speaker 1 (01:01:32):
Wrote that song, That's true. But can we you know
he'd have to sue us? Love her great, fantastic. But
you know I love about this show. What other than you?
I love the most unexpected people that we've interviewed. I
(01:01:55):
just where is the best time?
Speaker 2 (01:01:58):
I know?
Speaker 1 (01:01:58):
People are fucking great. People are great, and we you know,
there's so much judgment. Remember when we interviewed Nickelback. Yeah,
I mean, think about how much judgment went into Nickelback
and how fun, how great they were now and nice
and you know, fun to talk to. I just I mean,
not that it's a you know, I'm just saying.
Speaker 2 (01:02:21):
That I wasn't that's not cool.
Speaker 1 (01:02:24):
That's not what I was saying. I was just saying
that that when I don't have an expectation of how
I'm going to go into something, how people surprise you.
Speaker 2 (01:02:34):
I say ninety eight percent of the time we are
surprised by the people who we don't quite know that well,
you know, And then there's another two that's just fall flat.
That's true, like Glenn Powell.
Speaker 1 (01:02:50):
We're definitely keeping running. We love you, Lannie of course,
all right, that was awesome. Oh that was so great.
Thank you, Leanne Rhymes. Bye bye,
Hi.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
I am Kate Hudson and my name is Oliver Hudson.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
We wanted to do something that highlighted our.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Relationship and what it's like to be siblings. We are
a sibling raivalie.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
No, no, sibling. You don't do that with your mouth, vely,
that's good, Oliver. I know how bad you want to
sing the song right now, and we need to talk
about first. You can't. I can't. We're gonna have to
(00:42):
bleep the whole thing because apparently this is like a
thing and I don't really understand it.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
This makes no sense. Our producers have cut us off
from singing songs that are not originals.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
But can't we sing a song and change the lyrics?
Speaker 2 (00:59):
Yeah? I mean, if I'm like that, man's.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
Got a lot idiot? Wait? But does now? Now?
Speaker 2 (01:10):
Am I gonna is leanne? Ryan's gonna assume me?
Speaker 1 (01:13):
I don't know. I don't think I what my theory
is or my thing. I should know this. I don't.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
I'm gonna call.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
I'm gonna say no. I think it's because you have
to license music. If we take any advertise advertising dollars,
then then any music that we use we need to
license to pay because first thing, you need to pay.
But that's the thing. You I can sing any song
(01:44):
I want. I can sing any song I want. I
can cover any song I want. I just have to
pay the artist. You can cover, you can, I know,
I pay them everything and I get I get the performance.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
Royal hold on. You can cover any song you want live,
even though there's a door charge. You're not going to
get ripped up for that.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
No.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
So, as long as it's put down on wax, Oh
damn it. As long as it's put down on wax.
You know what that means. No, you don't know what
that means.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
What does that mean right now? Oh? Oh oh yeah,
I like you meant, oh yeah, we're putting it down
on waxy. Yeah okay, yeah, I know. I know you're
talking about if you put it down on what I'm
putting my ship down wax.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Okay, if you put it down on wax, maybe then.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
We're going to figure this out and you know what,
we'll get to the bottom of it. Let's talk about this.
Leanne Rhymes. Yes, she is an only child. We haven't
really interviewed that many only children. One, she said, a
really fascinating early life. She's basically a child star. And
I'm ink to know what that's like doing alone without
(03:03):
any siblings, because we've talked about this before with a
number of different celebrities who were famous young and they
were always like a sibling that was there, had to
be dragged along. But she's like going out there alone.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
Yeah. Also just her upbringing and how that might have
affected her path being only child. Yeah, all right, well
let's bring I'm a serenade her as she comes in,
and you can't believe it, like under like a background.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
Nice. Hi, my brother wants so badly to sing to you.
Speaker 3 (03:49):
I have seen you sing this song.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
You have it? Oh my god, you're already saying it.
Le Anne. Hi, welcome to our podcast.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
We were just saying that we've we really don't have
that many only children we've had. We've we've interviewed.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
I think one, honestly, one.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
One only child.
Speaker 3 (04:12):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
I find only children very fascinating because I have so
many siblings and yeah.
Speaker 4 (04:19):
And I find that fascinating because I am an only child.
My husband's an only child too, oh wow, which usually
doesn't I don't know if that usually works, but he
had he has two boys, so I have two step
sons yea, and they were two and six when they
were first.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
In my life.
Speaker 4 (04:34):
So maybe because he had kids already, like the only
child syndrome kind of get knocked out of you with children, right.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
Yeah, did you work? Did you want siblings growing up?
Was that something you yearned for or was it just
this is why? This is it?
Speaker 4 (04:48):
It took my mom tried to have kids for like
twelve years and she was told she couldn't have children,
and so so.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
I was it.
Speaker 4 (04:55):
And I I think because I always I was performing
from such a young age, I think that was kind
of my sibling.
Speaker 3 (05:04):
It was always entertaining me.
Speaker 4 (05:05):
Like, I never really thought about having a sibling, and
I think if I did, like my life would have
taken a completely different turn. But I do have my
mom was best friends. Had a best friend from high
school named Sharon, and her two girls are they're four
years and eight years older than me, and they were
there when I was born and they basically are sisters
(05:29):
to me. So I kind of like have the best
of both worlds, which is wonderful.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
So great, Yeah, they are like my siblings.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
Where did you grow up?
Speaker 4 (05:39):
I grew up in Well, I was born in Mississippi,
but then I grew up in Texas from the time
I was six, and then I grew up on a
tour of US.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
When did that start? Thirteen?
Speaker 4 (05:48):
Yeah, I signed my record deal at eleven, and then
thirteen I.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
Was on the road, like my daughter, How old are
you me?
Speaker 3 (05:55):
I'm forty one?
Speaker 1 (05:56):
Yeah, okay, yeah, because I remember you were so young. Yeah,
And it was such a huge hit. I mean it
was like crazy, what was it?
Speaker 3 (06:09):
It was like zero to sixty?
Speaker 2 (06:10):
And was the one that was the one I'm singing?
Speaker 3 (06:14):
Yeah, it was Blue, was my first Blue?
Speaker 4 (06:17):
And then it was then I don't even I don't
even remember nothing, how Do I Live? And they came
to the light like it all kind of it was
all very back to back.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
How old were you in your road? How do I Live?
Speaker 3 (06:28):
I didn't write that, actually, Diane warned it got.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
It when you performed Diane, Please come on, Diane. How
old were you when you performed the song?
Speaker 3 (06:40):
I was fourteen?
Speaker 2 (06:42):
How Do I Live Without You? Interesting? Was there any
sort of you know, talk like, well, I mean you're
young to be talking about sort of a situation in
a relationship like how do I Live without You?
Speaker 3 (06:55):
Yes? I mean, I guess that could have been.
Speaker 4 (06:58):
I think that song is so universe that it can
be like I could have been singing.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
As parents, yeah you dog, or it could be my dog.
Speaker 3 (07:10):
You know.
Speaker 4 (07:10):
It's interesting because I never like music was Music was
always very universal to me, and I had such a
I just knew how to emotionally connect.
Speaker 3 (07:22):
From the time I was really young.
Speaker 4 (07:23):
I don't know where that came from, but my dad
used to sit me down and explain songs to me,
and so just out of the story, I had a
very vivid imagination. I mean, it's like acting like it's
you just kind of put yourself in that position. But
as I got older, living having actual life experience, like
it really does. I thought people used to People used
(07:44):
to say that to me, like when you get older,
you'll sing it from a different place, And I thought
that was bullshit, but it really wasn't.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
Well, okay, lean takus to like, when you were really little,
so so your parents couldn't have kids, were you like
a surprise?
Speaker 3 (07:57):
I was like my mom's miracle child.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
Yeah, okay, And are your parents still together?
Speaker 3 (08:03):
No, they got divorced when I was fourteen.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
Okay, Oh, that's interesting. Okay, we'll get to that. We'll
get okay. So you're a little girl, and when you
know you're growing up in Mississippi, when did you start singing?
Speaker 3 (08:21):
I was.
Speaker 4 (08:22):
My dad has tapes of me singing at eighteen months old.
What and like I was, it's so wild. I was
on pitch and I was When I sang, you could
understand what I was saying, but I would talk afterwards.
I was like mumbling. So I kind of learned how
topeak through singing.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
I think, Wow, how's your vibrato? At eighteen months old?
Speaker 3 (08:44):
It was fantastic. It was the best. It's never been better,
never has never been better.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
You know. My son bing has the same thing at
like but at like nine months old, not even maybe
even seven months old. He would sing. He would hum
starlight and he would go no no, no, no, no
no no, uh Matt song And we were like what
it was? It was? That's so nuts.
Speaker 3 (09:12):
It's weird.
Speaker 4 (09:13):
It's like to come in with you from like another
yes what I mean, like another lifetime.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
It has to I say music, that's exactly. Did you
ever read Frankie Presto and the Magic Strings? No, I
have not. It's a Mitch album book. You should read it.
And that's kind of how I see music. It's like
it's like a per it's like a it's like a
(09:40):
it's like something that's born into you.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
Accounting.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
Yeah, numbers, for sure, for sure, for sure, it's like
a beautiful mind.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
I think there's all kinds of different things, and music
is just the most incredible companion.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (09:59):
True.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
So you're how little you can sing an eighteen months old?
When was it really your parents who drove you into
music or was it you leading the way?
Speaker 3 (10:09):
No, and my dad had a love for music.
Speaker 4 (10:11):
My mom and dad both played a lot of music
in our household, and like, my mom was really into
motown and my dad was into classic rock and country,
and then my godmother was way into like Broadway show
tunes and classical and so like, I got an array
of music from a very young age, and then I started.
I danced from the time I was like two, and
my my dance teacher heard me sing one day and
(10:32):
I told my mom, She's like, you should put her
in song and dance competitions, and I that was where
I first started, at like five, So I tap dance
and sing.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
Like yeah, he did that become your mom's like was
she a stage mom?
Speaker 3 (10:49):
No?
Speaker 4 (10:50):
My, no, I you know, they my parents were really
supportive of me, but I was definitely in the driver's
seat of like, this is what I loved to do.
Speaker 3 (11:00):
And it's weird to say.
Speaker 4 (11:02):
It's crazy, like I got my record do when I
was eleven, but I'd been on stations I was five.
So by the time I was eleven, I kind of
it was what should have like, it was what I
expected to happen at that age. It's so weird to say,
but it's like I've been working towards it and it
just kind of, Yeah, everything happened so fast for me.
I mean, but at that age, like to be on
(11:24):
station three for five, it was kind.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
Of did you ever feel like you missed out? Yeah,
childhood and just the regularity.
Speaker 3 (11:32):
Of yeah, absolutely, I mean I didn't.
Speaker 4 (11:36):
So when I first was around my step son's like
I said, they were two and six, and when the
oldest turned eleven, I remember looking at him and going,
oh my god, that was like I was his age
when I signed my record deal and to see what
a normal quote unquote normal childhood was like it was
the first time I actually felt like I hadn't miss
(12:00):
out on something and the first time I had actually
realized that that wasn't normal to do what I had done.
So I think as I got older, I really did
understand like that was very abnormal. And I feel like
most of my adult life has been trying to put
my childhood back to.
Speaker 5 (12:20):
Get together right, discovering it, can I discover it?
Speaker 3 (12:24):
And like what brings me joy? Like all those things.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
So, yeah, I wondered if you felt an expectation to
being the only I guess this might go both ways.
An expectation to actually be there for your parents more
than you would say if you had a sibling, when
you might want it to maybe have been more independent,
(12:49):
or the other way around. If you felt like there
was a lot of attention on you that sometimes felt
overwhelming or smothering from your parents. Just being the only child.
Speaker 4 (13:00):
Yeah, there was a lot that was It was the
ladder of those two things, you know, being like my
mom's miracle child and then having parents that really didn't
get along, and it was kind of what I was
the glue and so you know, being the glue and
then having this incredible gift and all the focus.
Speaker 3 (13:23):
Being on you.
Speaker 4 (13:24):
I don't think I realized how smothering that was until
much later on, until therapy, therapy.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
Until the rebellions started. Oh, the rebellions.
Speaker 4 (13:37):
The rebellions started around I don't know, maybe fifteen, Yeah,
and it just kept going.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
It's really it's interesting about only children because most of
my best girlfriends are all only children and are an
only child. Ill and I find that there is definitely
a different sort of personality profile to someone who didn't
(14:08):
have siblings. It comes in different forms, but it's definitely specific.
I find the other thing that's really specific is when
you meet a girl who grew up with multiple brothers
or you meet a boy who grew up with multiple sisters.
Speaker 3 (14:26):
Oh yeah, for sure.
Speaker 1 (14:27):
It's like you can kind of pinpoint those personalities more
than any other. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
I mean, I think we're imprinting as we get older
on not just our parents, but our siblings. And it's
all happening. And when you when you don't have that,
you know, you're almost you have your parents, but then
you're sort of left to your own devices to sort
of figure you own.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
Ship given as a friend, like when you had friendships. Actually,
I find this really interesting. This is and forgive the intrusion,
and you don't have to answer this. Please go ahead,
you because I'm famous, really young, you're an only child,
and now you're trying to nurture relationships, friendships, girlfriends. Was
(15:11):
that hard? Was that like something you had to learn
how to do and connect to? Was that challenging?
Speaker 3 (15:17):
Very That's probably one of my biggest challenges.
Speaker 4 (15:21):
I'm a real introvert, and because I've had the whole
world eyes on me since I was a kid, like,
I've had such a I don't anymore, but I had
something I really had to work out. I've had such
a wall up to it's really hard to penetrate because
I feel like I've had to protect myself, like every
time I walk out into the world, like I've had
(15:43):
to protect.
Speaker 3 (15:44):
Myself and so.
Speaker 4 (15:47):
To have I have very close friendships, but girlfriends. I'm
always been really like a guy's girl. I was never
really around a lot of girls growing up, and in fact,
I had in school when I was when I was
in public school. I finished public school in sixth grade
and then I started homeschooling and did all of that
on the road.
Speaker 3 (16:08):
But I was really bullied a lot by a lot
of girls.
Speaker 4 (16:11):
And so I think that kind of shut me down
girl to female friendships. And so over the past I
don't know, maybe like decade, it's been really something I've
it's been a challenge and it's something I've worked on
and something that I've been able to find solid female friendships.
Speaker 3 (16:28):
And yeah, I've I've had to learn how to be
a friend.
Speaker 4 (16:31):
Yeah, and I actually, you know, there's some things that
I'm just really honest, like with my friends, it's like
I can't be there for that, Like that's not I
just I don't know how to be there for certain things.
And I've had to it's kind of it's been a
rub sometimes and I just have to be really honest
of like I didn't learn how to do that.
Speaker 2 (16:51):
But whatever that certain thing might be, what do you
attribute your inability to sort of be there?
Speaker 4 (16:56):
You know?
Speaker 2 (16:57):
Is that just you can't take it? Is it overwhelming?
Is it anxiety inducing?
Speaker 3 (17:01):
Well all of those things. Yeah, it is anxiety inducing
for me.
Speaker 4 (17:07):
And I think you know, my schedule being on the
road and touring so much like being gone, I'm not
I'm not fully present.
Speaker 3 (17:14):
It's funny, I just made this the beginning of this year.
Speaker 4 (17:17):
I just made a call list of like all my
friends and all my family, and I'm like, once a week,
I'm gonna pick someone and I'm gonna literally sit down
and FaceTime and see them and call them because we
text all the time.
Speaker 3 (17:28):
But it's like when I'm gone, I'm I'm actually about
to go travel to Australia in the UK, and like.
Speaker 4 (17:34):
I I'm going to be out of pocket like for
face to face meetings, and it's like I really have
to I really have to take the time and plan
to like keep these relationships going.
Speaker 3 (17:44):
It can be really challenging.
Speaker 4 (17:46):
So but I think I think the biggest part for
me is I just I just didn't. I just didn't
have a lot of those kind of interactions of friendships.
A lot of my I grew up around business and
so I didn't, and I got burned a lot, Like
I didn't know how to trust people, had a lot
of trust issues. So it's really been this like slow.
Speaker 6 (18:07):
Opening for me with relationships.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
I remember it's I had this with Reese Witherspoon where
I met Reese when I was I don't know our
age difference, but it must have been how old is
Reese whatever? We're a couple of years, a couple of
years apart, four years or something, and I was much younger,
and she was fifteen and she had this big movie
(18:39):
out and she became this like young little movie star.
But I remember being a little girl watching her and
there with her, looking up to her, going you know,
oh my god, this girl's amazing and I want to
be friends with her. And she's fun and she's every thing.
(19:00):
And if I if I put myself in her shoes,
that must have been really hard for her because I'm
looking up to her like, oh wow, more like idolizing,
whereas what someone in that time in your life, you
really just want a friend, you know, you don't.
Speaker 3 (19:18):
Want someone even even on your level, even keel.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
Yeah, you don't want to be idolized. You just and
then and then I guess that's where you kind of
would go, Oh, that's you know, I can't trust that,
or I don't want to.
Speaker 2 (19:33):
I can't deal with ulterior motives. What do they want?
Speaker 1 (19:37):
Yeah, I just wanted to move to Nashville and like
have her mom's peach pie.
Speaker 4 (19:46):
I think that I think that is a big thing
of you know, wondering if there's like why are people here? Yeah,
why do they want to be close to me and
I I am so fortunate now I think, like I said,
over the last decade, I've really been able to cultivate
like a really good group of people that I know
just want to be around me.
Speaker 3 (20:06):
For me, that's such a beautiful thing to have.
Speaker 1 (20:12):
How were your parents when you started, you know, on
the road. Well, well, let's back up just a little bit.
So you were you started doing contests like going out
and right, and then weren't you on like were you
(20:32):
on weren't you on the Star Search?
Speaker 3 (20:36):
I was on Star?
Speaker 1 (20:37):
Yeah that's right, Star Star? Yeah, yes, Oh that's so fun.
I used to watch Star Search all the time.
Speaker 3 (20:46):
Our search was the best.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
What was his name?
Speaker 1 (20:50):
And of course, okay, so you're now was your mom
super protected? And it was usually your mom with you
or your dad? Are both?
Speaker 4 (21:01):
They both were with me for a while and they
got divorced and then my mom kind of went off
the road. My dad was with me, so my dad
managed me and it was produced me and it was
it became I ended up in a lawsuit with my
dad when I was.
Speaker 3 (21:15):
Sixteen for like three years.
Speaker 4 (21:17):
It was a nightmare, Like I have, parents should be parents.
Speaker 3 (21:22):
That's all about it.
Speaker 4 (21:23):
My experience is like when you start when money starts
entering the picture and you're managing a career and your
your child becomes you know, a commodity, and it just
you lose sight of your child.
Speaker 1 (21:38):
Yeah, unless you're christ Jenner, then you want then you
want right.
Speaker 3 (21:44):
Because she's a yeah.
Speaker 4 (21:47):
But no, I feel like it just was not It
did not work, and especially after my parents got divorced
and like the whole deal, my mom was super protective
and I ended up moving to La by myself when
I I was sixteen.
Speaker 2 (22:01):
Jesus, I was about to I was about to ask like,
who did you turn to during that? And moving back
into the sort of siblings speak. You know, sometimes when
your parents get divorced and you have siblings, you have somebody.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
You know.
Speaker 4 (22:15):
So my girlfriend Chrissy, who I mentioned earlier, who is
like my my sister.
Speaker 3 (22:21):
She actually she's only four years older than me.
Speaker 4 (22:24):
So I was, I mean not like she was like
someone who could really like look after me.
Speaker 3 (22:28):
I was.
Speaker 4 (22:29):
I was fifteen at the time, she was nineteen. She
was on the road with me all we were like
little hell raisers.
Speaker 1 (22:34):
Oh my gosh, that sounds like fun. It was the best.
Speaker 4 (22:39):
But she came out with me and she was really
kind of my rock at that point in my life.
And then I moved to la when I was sixteen
and lived with a boyfriend, which my parents were.
Speaker 3 (22:49):
Super excited about. Yeah, for like three and a half years.
And then and then my my first husband.
Speaker 4 (22:56):
I married my first husband when I was nineteen, but
like by nineteen I thought I was thirty.
Speaker 1 (23:02):
Yeah, well you, I mean that makes sense. You did
a lot. Yeah, Oh gosh, I don't even know where
to start. I mean, I don't even know where to
go back to.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
You don't have to go back anywhere.
Speaker 1 (23:15):
No, I do, because I want to know. I want
to know what the So, so when you signed a
record deal or I would assume that your father, who
did you sign with?
Speaker 4 (23:27):
I signed with Curb Records at the time, so that's
also I went into At the same time I went
to a lawsuit with my dad, I was also in
a lawsuit with my record label. Okay, yeah, because I
have what's known as the worst still in music history.
I was like in the deal till I was like
thirty two years old. So I thought that and ended
(23:50):
up re signing with them. Because it was kind of
the only way I could get out of it and
make music again into a normal contract. And then I
ended up I think I was twenty and when I
ended up like parting ways with.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
Them, Holy shit, that's crazy. I didn't know that. And
was your dad the one who made that deal?
Speaker 3 (24:08):
Yeah, I mean that's the thing.
Speaker 4 (24:10):
Like, you know, I had an entertainment lawyer at the
time who was also my co manager. It was all
very ancestual and so you know, my dad, my mom. Look,
I have no animosity against my parents, Like they did
the best that they could with what they knew, which
wasn't a lot, you know. And it's when you're coming
(24:31):
from no money and we lived in this little apartment
in Texas and it's like everything's kind of being laid
out there in front of you.
Speaker 3 (24:38):
That's your your daughter's dream.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
You know, do you do?
Speaker 3 (24:42):
You go for it? And so it's taken me a
long time to get to this place.
Speaker 4 (24:46):
But I you know, I really like, I just I
know my parents did the best they could they knew.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
So music is complicated, like even just understanding who gets
what and publishing versus the well, there's just there's so
many different there's so many different avenues to make money,
and when you're signing a deal, I'm not so sure
that people who are young or who know they probably
(25:14):
nowadays it's a little bit different because so many people
have been outspoken about it, But I'm not so sure
that people really understand what goes into it and what
they're really signing because it's you know.
Speaker 4 (25:26):
And especially now these days, like there's three sixty deals,
so people are taking part of you know, they want
to take part of your touring, they want to marge
and it's like a whole.
Speaker 3 (25:33):
They want to take you basically like your first born.
Speaker 4 (25:37):
So it's it's way different than back in the day
when it was just about records.
Speaker 1 (25:41):
Yeah, it's it's it's and and like you said, you
know your parents at the time, I mean they probably
had no I mean they could only they only knew
what they knew exactly.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
Well, you're the one who had to do the reconciling.
Did you have these feelings of forgiveness and compassion and
basically say, you know what you did the best that
you could. Fucking love you guys, let's bring it in.
Speaker 3 (26:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:04):
This was after she sued her father. It was I mean,
it's so crazy.
Speaker 4 (26:10):
So my first my first marriage, my dad actually ended up.
We had our first we had bothered daughter dance, Like
we reconciled about a week before, so it was like
he was there and it was really awkward. And it's
taken a long time to get to a place where
we can like really talk to each other. But yes,
(26:32):
it's been a lot of therapy and work on my
part to work on myself so.
Speaker 3 (26:39):
That no matter where they are with their own stuff
around it, I feel I feel at peace with where
I'm at, you know, so, and it's taken a long time.
Speaker 4 (26:51):
I mean, when it's you know, when you're an only
child and it's your poor family, like that really kind
of you end up like the big bomb just comes
in the middle of you and just like you know,
obliterates everything. I mean, the trauma from that that I
(27:12):
obviously didn't know back in back when I was younger,
but as I got older, I was like, oh, there's.
Speaker 1 (27:16):
A lot, there's a lot dumb.
Speaker 2 (27:19):
Isn't it crazy though? Isn't it so crazy? How? But
it's also in the moment, you're not understanding what that
trauma is because we have no life experience and as
you get into relationships and as you sort of discover
who you are, is when you realize how fucking fucked
up you are in the trauma, how it's come to life.
Speaker 4 (27:38):
Absolutely, And when you're in relationships, you see the trauma
come right out in the forefront, and you're like, oh,
in order to keep these relationships or in order to
build these friendships that I want to build, I'm going
to have to deal with my shit.
Speaker 2 (27:54):
Do you like the work? Do you like the self reflection?
I do so difficult.
Speaker 3 (27:59):
I do enjoy it.
Speaker 4 (28:01):
I mean definitely, it's been definitely difficult at times, but
I do.
Speaker 3 (28:08):
Enjoy it.
Speaker 4 (28:08):
And when you start to get that momentum after you
think some things have started to shift, you're like, this
is good, Like what else can I dig it?
Speaker 2 (28:17):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (28:17):
Yeah, the break go.
Speaker 2 (28:19):
No, It's it's so funny because I've been through all
my wellness shit and I've talked about on this podcast
a thousand times. But you do get in the zone,
the zone of sort of getting better. But then you
get a little bit better, and then the upkeep is
hard for me, meaning I'll do my meditations, I'll write
in my journal because I feel like shit and I've
got to deal with my anxiety or whatever. And the
(28:41):
minute I'm like, I feel pretty good, and then I
stop meditating and I stop writing in my journal. And
it's the easiest and the hardest thing to do ten
minutes of the day to sit down and just be
with myself. But I reject it and reject it and
come up with excuses not to. Oh, it's so easy
to do it.
Speaker 4 (28:58):
But the human condition, right, And I think the more
we can accept that, it becomes like, the more we
can because I'm such a perfectionist, or I say I'm
recovering perfectionists, because I would be one of those people
that it's like.
Speaker 3 (29:15):
If you're if you take therapy and you take all.
Speaker 4 (29:18):
Of these these tools, and ultimately, because you're not doing them,
you're beating yourself up.
Speaker 3 (29:23):
I mean, you're kind of defeating the purpose.
Speaker 4 (29:24):
And so it's like, the more we can, the more
we can, yes keep ourselves, you know, on on the
right path, but also give ourselves some grace when we
feel a bit like that's the key.
Speaker 1 (29:40):
Oliver is given himself too much grace.
Speaker 2 (29:42):
Yeah, every night.
Speaker 1 (29:48):
The perfectionist is not the word to describe, okay, A,
it's more discipline.
Speaker 2 (30:02):
No. But but here's the thing. It's true. I am
not a perfectionist.
Speaker 1 (30:08):
Wait is that mine?
Speaker 4 (30:10):
No?
Speaker 1 (30:10):
Are you sure? Because I have the pants, I.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
Have the whole outfit. Okay, yeah, it's it's LaRue or whatever. Okay,
just relax. You have enough clothes. I need clothes. I
have to buy my clothes. You don't. But so, perfectionism
is funny to bring this up from the outside. It
doesn't look like I'm a perfectionist. But what holds me
(30:33):
back from my creativity and from reaching my potential as
a creative person is fear. Is fear and perfectionism. Because
I will sit down and start to write something and
if it's not fucking perfect, I just stop, rather than
letting my brain go vomiting on a page and then
coming back.
Speaker 1 (30:54):
That's follow through. That's the problem.
Speaker 2 (30:57):
No, I need to be perfect in the beginning instead
of just being like, oh right.
Speaker 3 (31:02):
I understand that. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (31:03):
I want people to see my process like I was
just I'm recording. I did a chant record in twenty twenty.
I'm recording at my second one right now. And when
recording chance like we it's very different for me the
process than recording like a regular record because there's a
structure of a song. Normally with a regular record, there's
(31:24):
a first course, first course, and it's all good with chance.
Like we write, we write a little section and then
we kind of like build out from there. And so
it's a real process in the studio of like let's vomit,
like you say, let's vomit and see what comes out.
Speaker 3 (31:39):
And so I invited some friends in the other day
and I'm like, I don't even know why I did that.
Speaker 4 (31:44):
I must love you guys, because I hate people seeing
this process because I feel like it needs to be
like in a pretty box before anybody sees it.
Speaker 3 (31:51):
Yeah, I understand that.
Speaker 4 (31:53):
And I think it was like unconscious of me to
invite people in because I think I'm trying to break
that for myself.
Speaker 3 (32:00):
Yeah, it's a good thing to try to break for sure.
Speaker 1 (32:12):
The one thing for me with writing lyrics that was
the biggest thing for me was having the structure of time.
When someone said you need to get your lyrics down
by tuesday. You know, get these done by Tuesday or Wednesday,
even if they're bad. But we just we just need
to lay some lay it down and get you know,
(32:34):
and the best thing for me in that process was
being okay writing bad lyrics and being like fuck it.
I decid I'm going to put it down and then
I'm going to go sing it and if I hate it,
I hate it, and I hate it already, but then
I'm gonna hate it and then I'm going to sit
with it. But at least I have something.
Speaker 2 (32:53):
Sure, you have something to work off of.
Speaker 1 (32:55):
And what I realized was that some of them might changed,
but so love them actually ended up being what I
thought was like the perfectionist in me was like, these
are so shitty. I would say I seeing them, and
I go, I really like, yeah, you really like.
Speaker 2 (33:11):
So I'm stream of consciousness writing, like a ton of
stream consciousness writing, and uh, you know, I like to write,
and when I write from my feelings, I'm actually writer.
So I read sometimes I read back my stream of
consciousness writing, which is just pen on paper. I'm sure
you've done it, and I'll read it back and it's
(33:32):
so fucking good. Yeah that's incredible, you know. So I
mean it does sort of say, it does sort of
speak to letting go your creativity, just just unleashing it,
and you're bound to find nuggets there, well.
Speaker 3 (33:53):
You for sure you are.
Speaker 4 (33:54):
I mean like that's kind of with this chat record
where I walk in every day going let's see what
we can and uncover, because it's otherwise when there's too
much structure, then there's I feel like there's so much
you miss because you're trying to fit in this box
that if you don't color outside those lines, like and
see what another picture you can discover. But I think
(34:18):
it takes there. Trust me, I know that fear deeply
as being a good with being a creator, and I
think it's taken me. I think it's taken me enough
times of like getting brave enough to color outside the
lines and discovering something cool to go oh, like it's
like a new neural pathway of like oh, I remember,
(34:40):
it might suck for a moment, but like there's something
out there that I'm going to discovery. So I think
it's doing it enough to start creating that new neural
pathway of like of a new you know, new exploration.
Speaker 2 (34:56):
Totally, yeah, totally.
Speaker 1 (34:58):
Can you share with us how you got into what
the album is called God's Work, the last one you
just toured, and now explain your religious connection? Are you?
Are you religious? Are your pual?
Speaker 4 (35:15):
I'm I grew up Southern Baptists and had a lot of.
Speaker 3 (35:20):
Challenges around the way I was raised. And look, if
organized religion works, are people amazing all for it? I
just find that there's a lot there's a lot of
disc it keeps us disconnected from one another and so on.
Speaker 4 (35:42):
When I had a lot of time, like everybody to
sit around and you know, during COVID and question the
big things. One of the biggest questions for myself is,
you know, how do I move out of my own way?
I guess this kind of goes back to what we
were just talking about, how do I move out of
my own way to be more of a conduit for
a more loving as a more loving being and as
a creator?
Speaker 3 (36:02):
Like how can I allow things to flow through me.
Speaker 4 (36:08):
That are based in love? And so and that really
brought up a lot of a lot of old stuff
around like how I was raised in religion and how
much that keeps us divided. And it's like, you know,
are we if we're trying to create a better world
for each other? Like why are we still why are
we still keeping this division going?
Speaker 3 (36:29):
And so it's funny, why.
Speaker 1 (36:30):
Are we fighting over which God.
Speaker 4 (36:33):
Yeah, we're all talking about the same thing, right, like
ultimately at the end of the day. So when I
started working on this record, I knew God's Work was
the title because I knew it would be very polarizing,
which I loved because I think people thought they knew
what it was about. Like I remember so many people
when I released it that were like, why did you
release a Christian record?
Speaker 3 (36:53):
I'm like, you haven't listened to it, Like, it's not.
Speaker 4 (36:58):
About that actually, And so I knew it would draw people,
and I knew it would confuse a lot of people,
and I just that's what art is, right, Like I
wanted people to listen to it and take from it
what they what they were going to take from.
Speaker 3 (37:10):
It, you know, for themselves.
Speaker 1 (37:12):
And when you do when you're writing the chance your
chance are is it something that you kind of see
as a channel like you go.
Speaker 4 (37:22):
In, Yeah, absolutely, I'll meditate and usually I'll just start
singing a lot. I look at my chant album is
kind of like Mantra puts musics, right, I mean, we
I write chants all the time because.
Speaker 3 (37:34):
I write courses, and courses are pretty much chanced.
Speaker 4 (37:37):
So I was like, well, can't I take that and
create more of a chant record and really kind of
put they basically make it a mantra based record. So
I'll sit in my own meditations and start feeling like
what wants to be said? What do I need to hear?
And all of a sudden, I'll just start singing, and
(37:58):
I'll put my phone on and I'll press board, and like,
most of the time, I love it.
Speaker 3 (38:03):
Sometimes absolute shit.
Speaker 2 (38:04):
And is it just repetition based?
Speaker 3 (38:07):
Repetition based? Yea?
Speaker 2 (38:09):
And is is it lyrics or sounds or both?
Speaker 3 (38:14):
Yeah, that's cool, really fun. It's been really Yeah, it's been.
Speaker 2 (38:19):
Do you listen to chanting different sort of spiritual chanting
like the Giotto Monks and all that, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (38:25):
I do. I do.
Speaker 4 (38:26):
But it's interesting because a lot of chanting isn't very musical.
There's some beautiful chanting, but it's not very musical. So
I think it's kind of for me, it was like
taking the best of both worlds of like this whole
you know, the real spiritual chanting, and then kind of
this idea of this kind of like some pop melodies
(38:47):
but not making the chance sound too much like songs,
but keeping the repetition going.
Speaker 3 (38:51):
So people can really follow.
Speaker 4 (38:52):
Along, and I just want people to you know, it's
hooky enough that when people walk away, you know, when
they then they press stop, they can walk away with
these really beautiful mantras in their head going around and round.
Speaker 3 (39:06):
To lift them up. That's really Ultimately.
Speaker 1 (39:11):
I'm gonna I'm gonna rewind.
Speaker 2 (39:12):
No, yes, God damn it. I want to ask one thing,
go ahead, just from going back to the whole fear
I know, we're just going back to the whole fear
based thing. You know, when you when you take a
departure sort of from who Leanne Rhymes is and however
that you're being perceived and now you are doing this
taking a chance with these records, are you is there?
(39:33):
We worry that it's not going to take you know
that that people have put money into this and it's
not going to sell from the business side of things,
or do you just not participate mentally into that, You're like,
I'm going to do my art. Fuck it.
Speaker 3 (39:45):
There is a bit yes and no.
Speaker 4 (39:50):
I mean I'm very aware of like you know, here
I put my own money into it. People have other
people have put their money into it. Like, ultimately, it's
not about that for me, I hope it does, but.
Speaker 3 (40:04):
Yeah, it's more for me.
Speaker 4 (40:06):
It's always been more about focused on the art, do
what I love, and if people get it, they get it.
And sometimes people get it like two years later. Like
sometimes it's like it just takes a moment to catch
on because people have this idea of you in their
head and it's you know, after they hear you talk
about it for a year or two.
Speaker 3 (40:25):
They're like, oh, we really, like we really dig this,
we could get on board.
Speaker 4 (40:28):
So sometimes it just takes a moment. But I really,
for me nowadays, it's like I just kind of go
in the direction of what lights me up to create.
Speaker 1 (40:38):
Yeah, I'm the same. I just I just channel the
Andre three thousand method and like just be like, you
know what, I'm making an album and it's going to
be a flute and.
Speaker 3 (40:49):
You're doing that, by the way, it's amazing.
Speaker 1 (40:51):
Oh thanks, Yeah, I love it. I've always I've always
loved writing music, but like.
Speaker 2 (40:56):
I just go for whatever's going to pay.
Speaker 1 (41:00):
Me hundred eighty three thousand. Making a flute album is
one of the great things of all time.
Speaker 2 (41:08):
And it's good.
Speaker 1 (41:13):
And everyone's like he's got a coming on. They're like
it's the flute, and you're like, yeah, and it's awesome.
Speaker 2 (41:19):
Yeah, it's fine, No, it's it's awesome.
Speaker 1 (41:24):
And if we wouldn't get sued, i'd play a little bit.
But Leanne, you your story is different than a lot
of pop stars stories, which is that you came in
hot and then after you had your big like young thing,
it was hard. I mean I kind of want to
(41:45):
get into that a little bit with you, if you'd
share it, because I think that when we put pressure
on kids and you have that kind of fame and
then there's an expectation after that. Also, I want to
I want to know how that felt for you, and
then how would kind of look at that and say,
at the end of the day, it's not how many
records you're selling anymore, but it is who you are
(42:05):
as an artist, because no one's on top for us, No,
no one is.
Speaker 4 (42:10):
And it's interesting Madonna, not even Madonna, I mean, everybody's
you know, like she's had moments where like, you know,
she's kind of you just kind of.
Speaker 1 (42:20):
Go off and it's a roller coaster. It is.
Speaker 3 (42:22):
It's such a roller coaster. It's interesting.
Speaker 1 (42:26):
Okay, Yes, for Paul McCartney, Yeah, there you go.
Speaker 4 (42:28):
Yeah, we definitely my age and my story was so
big at such a young age. And my record label
like had acquired all of these records when I signed,
Like I'd started making albums at like eight, and so
they had acquired all of this music beforehand. So not
only did they put out my first album within I
(42:49):
guess a year, I had like three albums out because
of like all this music had beforehand. So it was
it like they were they were making money, they were
they weren't trying to develop an artist, and so you know,
it was it was a very fast like it was
a very fast burned.
Speaker 3 (43:06):
I was in people's faces all the time.
Speaker 4 (43:08):
And then then I, you know, I started we started
in country music. Then I had these huge crossover hits,
and people country music wanted to disown me, like because
you're not supposed to cross over dip hop artists, as
you know, and I I fought that battle for a
long time. Like there were where nowadays there's not a
(43:29):
lot of you know, there's not a lot of lines
drawn around like genres of music.
Speaker 3 (43:34):
They're much more blurred there were back in the day.
Speaker 1 (43:37):
And so yes, and you were so young.
Speaker 3 (43:39):
Yeah, but then people but that I did.
Speaker 1 (43:41):
And that's so I mean, imagine, how imagine what that
must feel like to be fourteen, fifteen years old and
to have that kind of pressure at you, that kind
of pole polarizing back and forth about you. You're fifteen,
You're developing your brain, everything's developing. It's like that's hard.
Speaker 4 (44:01):
And you want, like people expect you to do the
same thing for the rest of your life when you
start as a fetus, like that's possible. So I think
at I guess my late twenties, I really started developing
my artistry like that was always there, but I really
started writing my music.
Speaker 3 (44:20):
And I just like I said earlier, I just like
the music business is insane.
Speaker 4 (44:26):
And there's such a game to play, and I don't
I don't want to play the game, Like.
Speaker 3 (44:31):
I just I want to make music.
Speaker 4 (44:33):
I want to make people feel something like that's what
it's about for me. And I know if I stick
to that at like this rollercoaster that I've been writing forever,
like there will be more ups and I know they'll
be downs, but like the I've been doing this for
thirty years, like I'm one of the few that can
say that that people still listen and still give a shit.
(44:55):
And so I'm lucky, Like I'm lucky that people have
grown into seeing what kind of artists I am and
they support that.
Speaker 3 (45:04):
And it's not just about.
Speaker 4 (45:06):
Commercial music, because if I could go do that in
a heartbeat, I've done it. I've recorded songs that I
don't sing anymore because I don't like them. They've been hits,
and I'm like, I didn't like it in the first place,
but I did it because I knew it would be
it would be successful, and so that's just soul sucking.
That's really really soul sucking. And so finally one day
in my late twenties, I was like, I can't do
that anymore.
Speaker 2 (45:27):
So you have do you ever have like pop hits
running around in your head where you're like, man, I'm
not gonna do that, but that would be huge.
Speaker 1 (45:36):
I think we all want those. I'm not so sure
you'd be like, no, well maybe someone else. Yeah, No.
Speaker 3 (45:47):
I think I think there's a way to have it
all over all.
Speaker 4 (45:52):
I think there's a way to have some pop hits
that have some substance.
Speaker 3 (45:55):
I would hope, but it's it's rare.
Speaker 4 (45:57):
That those breakthrough these days because it doesn't seem like
I don't know, there's a lot of substance anymore.
Speaker 3 (46:03):
I feel kind of bad for music in general.
Speaker 5 (46:05):
Sometimes, how long have you been with Eddie?
Speaker 3 (46:16):
Now we've been married, we'll be married thirteen years in April.
Speaker 1 (46:21):
That feels like yesterday. I know that's when, yes, because
I mean we all remember it, but you know, it
really does feel like yesterday. That's so crazy. So you're
raising you're helping raise two boys, And how's that been
(46:42):
for you? Being an only child? The transition into that,
you know, was that like discovering I know we hit
on a little bit, but was it like discovering a
whole new world?
Speaker 3 (46:53):
Yes?
Speaker 4 (46:54):
That was especially boys, because they beat the crap out
of each other, like up until like maybe a couple
of years ago, and now they're Mason will be twenty
one soon and Jake's yeah, so yeah, just until a
couple of years ago when Jake got big enough to
actually like kick his brother's ass. And so now they
now have stopped fighting. But yeah, Mason's sixty six, Jake's
(47:16):
like six ' three, and they there are men, they're
like and so when I first was around them, I
would like they would just start fighting in the whole deal,
and I'm like, Eddy.
Speaker 3 (47:27):
Is this is this what's supposed to happen? Is normal?
Speaker 4 (47:30):
So it was it was such a shocker for me,
but it was so you know, like I've really I
really really enjoyed getting to be around them and to
help raise them.
Speaker 2 (47:42):
When do you start to find your voice is like
a step mom.
Speaker 4 (47:45):
I was just about to say it took a while
to settle in, like I would say, I would say
it felt like very much an outsider for about three
or four years.
Speaker 3 (47:53):
Yeah, and then after that I.
Speaker 4 (47:55):
Started to I kind of started to settle into that role.
And it's like you kind of you don't know your place.
You feel like you need to especially when they're younger,
like you really need to show up in your household.
Speaker 3 (48:06):
Is like a mother figure.
Speaker 4 (48:09):
And then after a while you're kind of like, I'm
just gonna sit back. You guys have a great time
and joy parenting. I'll be over here, you know if
you need help, Like if the boys want to come
to me and ask me a question, I'm here to help.
Like it kind of ended up that way of like
I'm here to love, but like I don't need to
get in anybody's way.
Speaker 1 (48:28):
Yeah, it's a fine balance instead being a stepparent so
hard it is, it's a challenging.
Speaker 2 (48:36):
Well, there's a lot of factors.
Speaker 1 (48:38):
There's a lot of fact Yeah, challenging.
Speaker 2 (48:40):
That's right, that's right.
Speaker 1 (48:42):
It matters. You know. We we have a great situation
with my ex Matt and riders out of the house,
so he's cooked. But like, but but Being is twelve
and a really we're basically like we like travel together.
(49:04):
It's like we vacation together. You know, we are and
and our step mom, i mean Being's step mom and Danny,
my man and his stepdad. It's like the perfect scenario
because we're such present parents, me and Matt that everybody
is involved, like we do our parent teacher conferences together,
(49:27):
and Being's just got like the.
Speaker 2 (49:29):
Best he does pretty good scenarios scenario.
Speaker 4 (49:32):
Yeah, I mean we've gotten to that place where I
mean I've always kind of gone to to all the
boys school stuff and been involved.
Speaker 3 (49:39):
And you know, are their mom, and.
Speaker 4 (49:43):
We we have Christmas together and Thanksgiving and that kind
of stuff, and you know it can still be a
little sticky sometimes, but it's just.
Speaker 3 (49:52):
Like that's just relation.
Speaker 1 (49:54):
Yeah, that's yeah. Well, it's yeah, absolutely, do you do
Are you still in therapy?
Speaker 2 (49:59):
I mean are you done?
Speaker 3 (50:01):
Oh? No, I mean are we ever done or never done?
Speaker 2 (50:05):
I I just haven't been there in a minute, and
I'm like, God, I probably should, but his price is
going up.
Speaker 4 (50:11):
No, I mean I'll take I'll take breaks, but I
definitely am always doing you know, some some kind of
form of something like a therapy, talk therapy.
Speaker 3 (50:22):
I'll do breath.
Speaker 4 (50:23):
Work and like things that I feel, you know, kind
of really open me.
Speaker 3 (50:27):
Up and keep me connected. So it is never.
Speaker 2 (50:29):
Ending, but it is, but it's it's actually.
Speaker 4 (50:34):
I've actually calmed down on it like I used to.
I used to try to do everything to try to
make myself better, right, and now I've really kind of
like settled into myself and so there's a lot more being,
you know, being this instead of like constantly an acceptance
of where I'm at now, instead of trying to like
(50:54):
get out of the place that I'm at. And maybe
that's because I've done so much work that I'm now
kind of in this place.
Speaker 2 (51:00):
Of Yeah, if you had to pull one thing out
of yourself to heal it more, you know what I mean,
And we're able to put it up on the wall
and look at it. What would that thing be?
Speaker 3 (51:15):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (51:16):
Wow, you know, I mean I think everything boils down
for me to abandonment issues. So I think, you know,
to really feel secure, and I think I think I've
gotten I've gotten to a place where I feel so
I feel very secure in myself, knowing that I can
take care of me no matter what, what, what are
(51:36):
who comes and goes. Yeah, but that took a while
because I was, you know, I was so dependent on
my parents and for everything, not just parenting but then
for business. And so when that broke up, I think
that was such a big, a big trauma.
Speaker 2 (51:53):
Yeah, the abandonment thing is good, but see abandon I
can relate to that. And if I was to break
mind down, it would be the root would be abandonment,
but then pulling from that, getting more specific, would be
sort of lack of self love, self worth, which is
which is which is what I would work on probably
the most. When I did this situation, I went to
(52:16):
a place called the Hoffmansstitute. Kate shut up. I left
there as the uh as what I knew I could
be my potential, my full potential as a human being,
you know, it's a hunter's a honeymoon phase, and then
you sort of slip back into the real world and
shit starts to pile on a little bit. You have
a tool, more tools in your school box, but you
(52:38):
leave that fucking place like, oh my god, like, this
is who I this is my potential now and it
all stems from that true belief in who you are,
that true love for who you are against all odds
and no matter what anyone says or does to you,
I love who I am, which is not an easy
place to get to, by the way, it's.
Speaker 3 (52:57):
Not I've done a lot of have you done our
work at all?
Speaker 4 (53:01):
It's really interesting. I've done to me MDR work over
the past year. Yes, yes, so I've done that over
the past year and that's really been helpful. But the
one thing I've learned in that therapy is my one
of my deepest beliefs. Maybe you can relate to this
(53:23):
is I'm bad. And it's really simple and fundamental and
probably started when I was an infant.
Speaker 3 (53:31):
Of I'm bad.
Speaker 4 (53:32):
And you know, like as kids, we internalize everything because
we're so dependent on our parents, Like anything that happens
is is it's my fault. Like, you know, we think
it's all the world with robs around us. So I
internalized from very early on is I'm bad, and like
what comes out of that, like is just wild how
(53:52):
it has manifested itself. So I relate because I think
I really had a lot of self worth issues for
so long, and I think E. M. D R has
probably been one of one of the most helpful things
in in softening.
Speaker 3 (54:08):
I guess those beliefs.
Speaker 1 (54:11):
That's amazing.
Speaker 2 (54:12):
I've heard a lot about it.
Speaker 1 (54:14):
Allie sent me this great like real on Instagram.
Speaker 2 (54:18):
It was high music.
Speaker 1 (54:21):
No, Allie sends me high and I sent sends me
like weird music. And sometimes I'm like, wow, that was
some good some great ones. And then sometimes I'm like,
this is so like old Alie. Like Allie's just old
E d M music.
Speaker 2 (54:39):
It's good.
Speaker 1 (54:39):
It's like M meets like R and B weird touching.
It's like what he's just way to But now I
forgot it was Oh it was this great reel about
uh this this gentleman talking about how you speak to
(55:03):
your kids that you are you are what becomes their
inner voice. So and you're yelling at them in the
morning or you're telling them before they go to bed
and you get get your you know, criticizing them or
judging them, that these are the things that are creating
that inner voice. And and it was so powerful to
(55:25):
me because Cowboy and oh that's who that was, okay,
and but it was so beautiful. It was really a
must because and he said, I didn't have that, So
I didn't have someone who gave me the opportunity to
have an inner voice that was nurturing or safe. I mean,
(55:48):
I'm now speaking for him, but calm or you know,
warm and and we don't realize how impactful how we
each our children, but we do it all the time. Yeah,
and you're like, oh wait, stop, you know what I mean.
It's not nice. It doesn't feel good.
Speaker 2 (56:11):
And you know, when they're being like total assholes, like
they deserve it some of it, like they need some
of it. There has to be some tough.
Speaker 1 (56:18):
Okay, Okay, you know, how was your tour? Did you
enjoy it? I did?
Speaker 3 (56:23):
I always I love touring. I do. I am.
Speaker 4 (56:27):
Actually the end of last year, no, the end of
twenty twenty two, I was supposed to do a Christmas
tour and I burst a blood vessel on my vocal
cord from coughing, which was awful, and I.
Speaker 3 (56:39):
Was on voice rest for like completely for like four weeks.
Speaker 4 (56:42):
I had to cancel my Christmas tour, and so getting
back into touring this year was the first like six
months was like I've been I'd rehabbed it, and it
was like slowly I was performing, but it was like
complete rehab honestly for like six months. And so yeah,
it was I loved playing this music. I loved playing
(57:03):
this record.
Speaker 1 (57:04):
It's how to perform chant music.
Speaker 3 (57:08):
So we just did I loved this.
Speaker 4 (57:11):
We just did this performance here at this beautiful Presbyterian
church in August.
Speaker 7 (57:16):
And it was we did we We did it with
them the candle the candlelight people who like set up
like three thousand candles in this incredible church.
Speaker 4 (57:28):
And there was piano and percussion and strings and it
was literally I took people through some meditations and we
literally sat and I performed like a bunch of chant
chant music, and it was It's the first time I've
ever done that. Talk about doing something different that I'm like,
this is.
Speaker 3 (57:44):
Either gonna suck, I have no idea what I'm doing.
Speaker 4 (57:49):
And it was so incredible that I'm like, I fell
in love with that kind of performance. Like I literally
sat there on my little like yoga cushion and just
sang to everybody and it was so beautiful. So I'm
going to do more of that when the next chant
record comes out.
Speaker 1 (58:03):
So yeah, that's exciting.
Speaker 3 (58:06):
Love it.
Speaker 2 (58:08):
All right. I think we're you know what I want
to go back to and finish to set the book end. Yes,
you said something in the very beginning that if you
had a sibling, you think your life might have been different. Yeah,
how do you think that? Where do you? How do
you why?
Speaker 8 (58:24):
I feel like I was I needed a lot of
energy for my parents, Like I feel like my my
gift and what I you know, my my voice and
singing like it took up so much time. I I
think it would I think it would have been hard
on my sibling.
Speaker 3 (58:43):
To have that kind of energy going toward one child.
Speaker 4 (58:49):
In my mind, it would have taken away a lot
of a lot of love and nurturing and energy from them.
So I think I think it would have just been
really hard on my parents.
Speaker 3 (58:59):
And I don't know of I don't know if.
Speaker 4 (59:01):
I would have had, you know, the dedication from them completely,
like the time and energy from them to be able
to do what I know, how it would have turned out.
Speaker 2 (59:13):
Yeah, no, I know. Imagine if it was just me,
I know.
Speaker 3 (59:18):
Imagine how many siblings, how many siblings.
Speaker 2 (59:19):
Are could have been great, could have been great. We
have we're blood.
Speaker 1 (59:25):
If you didn't have siblings, you'd be a nightmare.
Speaker 2 (59:28):
I probably did. We're blood. And then we have a
half Wyatt and a step Boston. And then we have
two halfs from Dad, Emily and Zach, who we are
currently like super connected to now and it's been amazing
and Case made that all happen, and it's been really
(59:49):
really fun to get to go to the Hudson side
of the family, like pretty special. And then we have
another half brother who's an older gentleman who we just
found out about five or six years.
Speaker 1 (01:00:00):
Ago and longer than that. And then we have a
younger and.
Speaker 2 (01:00:03):
We have a and then we have a younger who's.
Speaker 1 (01:00:05):
Younger than my son. Right, she's younger, so his aunt
is two years younger.
Speaker 2 (01:00:11):
Than Yeah, there's a lot of like there's so many
of you, with a lot of different people.
Speaker 1 (01:00:16):
The Italian.
Speaker 2 (01:00:21):
And then according to Tony, potentially another one.
Speaker 1 (01:00:27):
It all tracks and DNA is strong, right, but we're
the only blood yeah, blood of like all oh and
Zach and Emily and.
Speaker 2 (01:00:36):
Zach and Emily.
Speaker 1 (01:00:37):
Yeah yeah, very cool.
Speaker 3 (01:00:40):
I ever need a sibling, I'm just.
Speaker 1 (01:00:41):
Just killing one.
Speaker 2 (01:00:45):
Ranked them. Thank you so much.
Speaker 3 (01:00:51):
To talk to you.
Speaker 1 (01:00:52):
I can't wait to hear the new chant album.
Speaker 3 (01:00:54):
Thank you very much.
Speaker 4 (01:00:55):
Yes, when it's done, I'll send it, send it over.
Thanks guys, Okay.
Speaker 1 (01:01:03):
Bye, awesome, get under no come well, they're definitely not
gonna that. You won't get sued for that because.
Speaker 2 (01:01:20):
I mean, let's just take a risk. The worst thing
they can do is you got to take it out,
you know what I mean, Like, we gotta live on this.
We're gonna live on the edge.
Speaker 1 (01:01:27):
That's true.
Speaker 3 (01:01:28):
Living only.
Speaker 1 (01:01:32):
Wrote that song, That's true. But can we you know
he'd have to sue us? Love her great, fantastic. But
you know I love about this show. What other than you?
I love the most unexpected people that we've interviewed. I
(01:01:55):
just where is the best time?
Speaker 2 (01:01:58):
I know?
Speaker 1 (01:01:58):
People are fucking great. People are great, and we you know,
there's so much judgment. Remember when we interviewed Nickelback. Yeah,
I mean, think about how much judgment went into Nickelback
and how fun, how great they were now and nice
and you know, fun to talk to. I just I mean,
not that it's a you know, I'm just saying.
Speaker 2 (01:02:21):
That I wasn't that's not cool.
Speaker 1 (01:02:24):
That's not what I was saying. I was just saying
that that when I don't have an expectation of how
I'm going to go into something, how people surprise you.
Speaker 2 (01:02:34):
I say ninety eight percent of the time we are
surprised by the people who we don't quite know that well,
you know, And then there's another two that's just fall flat.
That's true, like Glenn Powell.
Speaker 1 (01:02:50):
We're definitely keeping running. We love you, Lannie of course,
all right, that was awesome. Oh that was so great.
Thank you, Leanne Rhymes. Bye bye,
Hosts And Creators
Oliver Hudson
Kate Hudson
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