January 28, 2025 • 61 mins
In part two of our deep dive into Haliey Welch, aka Hawk Tuah Girl, Jamie looks at the media blitz Haliey was sent on after her viral moment and securing management. Without the Ellen Industrial Complex to reel her in, we dig into the world of vaguely conservative video podcasts, and how all roads lead to sports gambling scams.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Cool Zone Media.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Welcome back to sixteenth Minute, the podcast where we take
a look at the internet's characters of the day and
see what their moment says about us and the Internet.
And today we are continuing our deep dive on Hailey
Welch aka the Hawk to a Girl. When we left
off last week, Hailey Welch had just decided to go
(00:27):
public as Miss Hawktua on July one, twenty twenty four,
abruptly solving a mystery that sleuths across the Internet had
been trying to figure out for weeks, either to identify
who she was for fun or claim slash profit from
her words and image when she wasn't claiming it for herself.
(00:47):
And keep in mind, the original Hawk was posted June eleventh,
and three weeks later, there had already been several rounds
of discourse surrounding Haley. It wasn't until she introduced herself
to the public that the details of her biography began
to walk in place. This is how I've been able
to put it together as best I can. Hailey Welch
(01:11):
was raised by her grandmother or her granny in Belfast, Tennessee,
population eight hundred and forty four. Around the time since
she was nine months old. Some basic stats about Belfast, Tennessee.
Its majority working class and comprised of non high school grads.
There are two men to every woman. It is overwhelmingly white,
(01:33):
and has a limited job market. It's also farmland. Most
early footage of Haley features animals in the background, and
if you can't see them, you can usually hear them.
Hailey's parents had a limited presence in her life. Her dad,
a farm hand, was in the picture, but infrequently. She
(01:53):
says she rarely spent time with him growing up. Her
mother was a drug addict from the time Haley was
born and has never been in the picture in her life,
something that Haley became gradually more open about as her
fame continued to grow. And by that I mean it
is not at all unusual they hear Haley making crack
baby jokes at her own expense. Here's an example from
(02:16):
Whitney Cummings podcast.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
Twenty one.
Speaker 4 (02:20):
Oh how's your mom?
Speaker 2 (02:21):
Mamma a crackhead?
Speaker 4 (02:22):
You don't want her?
Speaker 3 (02:23):
Is she an actual crackhout? Yea, I'm a crag baby,
are you daw?
Speaker 2 (02:27):
Why you guys so funny? Hailey is a high school
graduate with a close knit group of childhood friends. She
was a cheerleader in high school, and at age twenty one,
was working at a spring factory called Tennessee Spring and
Metal as an inspector and shipping manager who often had
to wake up at two thirty in the morning to
get to work on time. She has a tattoo saying
(02:48):
still I Rise, a quote that references both Amaya Angelou
Pome and, according to Haley, a lot of the difficulties
she faced growing up and transcending them anyways. The second
episode of Talk to a really emphasizes the rural normality
of her lifestyle, complete with her drinking wine on the
porch with her friends.
Speaker 4 (03:10):
I'm always down for Taco Bell.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
You are Maha freeze.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
I've never had one.
Speaker 5 (03:14):
They're good.
Speaker 4 (03:16):
We're taking your Baha virginity.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
And going to Taco Bell habitually, which in my opinion,
is always a sign of good character. Another thing that
struck me is that Haley seems to have a vested
interest in lifting up her friends from Tennessee in the
process of going through this chaotic experience, particularly Chelsea Bradford,
who appeared in the original Tim and D TV video
(03:41):
with Haley and initially convinced Haley to do it at all.
Chelsea was a friend who would later stand up for
her a number of times and would eventually become her
talk to a co host and essentially right hand woman.
And the reason that most people hadn't put any of
this together and assigned false narratives to proliferate that was
(04:02):
that Haley wasn't even on social media at the time
the clip went viral. This is from her first interview
on podcast Plan Pree Uncut amazing. But did you delete
all of your social media?
Speaker 6 (04:14):
Okay?
Speaker 4 (04:14):
So I deleted all my social media like six months
ago due to like personal reasons.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
I never really got on it or anything like that.
Speaker 7 (04:20):
Oh okay, So it didn't have anything to do with this.
Speaker 4 (04:23):
Oh no, I was long gone before that.
Speaker 7 (04:25):
You were already gone from social media. And everyone thought
that you deleted your social media because you were like
scared of all of this blowing up.
Speaker 3 (04:33):
But you were gone.
Speaker 4 (04:34):
I've been gone from it.
Speaker 2 (04:35):
So are you going to come back? I think we're
working on that right now. As she's consistently alluded to,
Hailey was mortified when the Hawk to a clip went
viral and didn't do anything except go to work for
the week after she first noticed its virality. She pretty
cleanly breaks down the emotions she was navigating at this
time during this interview on Plan Bree with Brianna LaPaglia
(04:59):
of Barstools.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
It was just massive.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
It was massive, okay, war close through your head.
Speaker 8 (05:03):
When that, I was like, oh, well, this.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
Is kind of fun.
Speaker 4 (05:05):
I was like, it's not gonna get bigger than this.
And I go back like an hour later in the
views done went up by like a milia and I
was like, oh my god, there's no way that just happened.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
Sure, up it did.
Speaker 7 (05:14):
And then it kept going and kept going, and then
there was the search for you. Yeah, and what like,
what did you want to do when there was a search?
Was there a part of you that was like, I
don't want to be known as the hook to a girl?
Speaker 4 (05:23):
Yeah, there was a big part of it. And then
they started spilling my name wrong and making like accounts
of me, which they got pictures off all my friends
like social media's and stuff like that, and which it's
it's kind of creepy, stay in your face on another
account that don't belong to You're like.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Yeah, people thought any of words, Jillian.
Speaker 7 (05:39):
I saw a bunch of people were getting like recognized
as you, but it wasn't you.
Speaker 3 (05:44):
It was wild.
Speaker 7 (05:45):
So when they officially found you, were you like I
want to dive into this or I want to take
a step back.
Speaker 4 (05:51):
I was like, oh shit, I'm not adding these people back.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
LaPaglia also acknowledges another wave of media surrounding Haley prior
to her siding to lean into her fifteen minutes of fame.
Speaker 7 (06:03):
What do you do now, because now you have management
and I have a team, what are your plans moving forward?
Speaker 3 (06:08):
Like do you want to.
Speaker 7 (06:09):
Still be the hook to a girl or do you
wanna like.
Speaker 4 (06:12):
I don't really want that to be like my image, yeah,
like hot to a girl. I just I don't say
that being like yeah, I don't want to be none
of that.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
So it's kind of a surface exploration of how this
shift went for Hailey. But the idea that Haley voluntarily
wanted to leave social media six months ago and now
is returning to it just to reclaim and ideally profit
from this moment more or less happened because of something
that was outside of her control. For everyone that I've
(06:46):
seen jumped at the conclusion that Haley was determined to
be famous. I don't see any evidence that that was
the case. Thinking of the girls and women whose lives
were damaged or demolished by appearances on Girl's Gone Wild,
I don't see it even more. But on Plan Brie,
Chelsea Bradford appears briefly as well, and offers a little
(07:09):
insight in her ability to consent to the on the
street interview From her perspective.
Speaker 7 (07:15):
Did you say anything that you wish you didn't know?
Speaker 4 (07:17):
Which, I wasn't prepared for those kind of questions, so
I don't think anybody was, like I wasn't in the
right mind, but I knew what I was saying, you know.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
Yeah, I made sure to keep it.
Speaker 3 (07:26):
Like because it was going to go out there. Yeah,
and you were just like fuck it.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
I just said, I don't give a fuck.
Speaker 3 (07:34):
So, like I was.
Speaker 7 (07:35):
Saying before, what do you think she should do now?
Speaker 3 (07:37):
Like, do you think she should just take full advantage
of it?
Speaker 5 (07:39):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (07:40):
Absolutely, Yeah.
Speaker 4 (07:41):
I love her personality and the fact that the world
gets to see it and they obviously love it too,
so I think she should.
Speaker 3 (07:47):
And that accent, the accent is so good.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
Again, like we talked about last week. I think two
things need to be true here. There's not much doubt
at this point in early July that Healy has decided
to lean into this fame and see what might become
of it. And that's pretty common for main characters in
her age range early twenties who don't have long standing
careers or families of their own to consider. But I
(08:13):
think it's also fair to say that this was not
something she was necessarily courting prior to this moment. So
what now? During her first interview, here is what Haley
thinks is next.
Speaker 7 (08:26):
So now is like, you're gonna go to La, You're
gonna go to New York.
Speaker 3 (08:29):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 7 (08:30):
Do you think you see yourself like starting your own
type of like show or podcasts or you're just gonna
be like an internet personality.
Speaker 4 (08:37):
I think we're gonna do like a show and then
we're just gonna be like on a bunch of podcasts
and everything else in between.
Speaker 5 (08:42):
Cool.
Speaker 3 (08:42):
So kind of just figuring out as you go.
Speaker 4 (08:43):
Oh yeah, there's more to come, don't worry.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
And at the end of her interview with LaPaglia, we
get the first hint of exactly how politicized Haley is
going to be as a figure when LaPaglia asks if
Haley would if Haley would hawk on that thing of
various prominent people leading to the inevitable Donald Trump.
Speaker 4 (09:08):
No, absolutely not, uh huh for me, Jake Paul, I'm
happy to say hawk hawk Yeah.
Speaker 3 (09:19):
You said, okay.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
Thankfully. This happened in twenty twenty four, a moment where
the media had finally recognized that when someone gets this
famous this fast, they really need to think about how
they're going to frame her. I'm just kidding. Here's part
two of Haley Welton the hawk to with saga. Welcome
back to the show. Let's play the theme song.
Speaker 9 (09:48):
It's time sixteen let's see.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
Welcome back to sixteenth minute, the podcast where we take
a look at the Internet's main characters of the day,
talk to them and see what their moment meant for
them and what it says about us and the Internet.
My name is Jamie Loftus. And while I'm recording this
from the past, I'm assuming President Trump's second inauguration was
(10:53):
even scarier. And while I dissociate with you for an
hour or so, let's continue to examine the saga of
hawk to a girl Ailey Welch, after her first formal
media appearance with Brianna LaPaglia aka Brianna Chicken Fry no
time to explain, she was further politicized by saying that
(11:13):
she was not interested in hawktuaing on Donald Trump's penis,
and I mean, god forbid, these two twenty one year
old girls immediately knew they didn't want to slobber on
the dick of a nearly eighty year old man. And
off of this very normal question came a very normal
(11:33):
media response. On the right, we have Laura Lumer, the
degenerate Hawk Tour girl's real name is Haley Welsh's anti Trump.
Then Laura Lumer later that day.
Speaker 1 (11:47):
I stand corrected at Bill Ackman. Upon further review, it
turns out that she was only talking about whether she
performed fellatio on President Trump, and.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
In the center, an embarrassing Twitter account called Biden's win
the Hawk.
Speaker 10 (12:01):
To a girl just absolutely demolished Donald Trump, saying it's
a no go for her retweet to make sure all
Americans no gen z is speaking out against Donald Trump
and his radical agenda and.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
In the words of a normal Instagram commenter.
Speaker 8 (12:18):
Stop mimifying politics. It's not whimsical or cute. America is
facing a horrifying reality, and articles like this trivialize it.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
This feels like it happened five thousand years ago. But
while all of this was happening, Haley's team put her
to work, mostly making appearances. At first, she memorably met Shaq,
who is the king of the random endorsements.
Speaker 10 (12:44):
Ebsine ego teenk comes with so much ink you can
print up the five thousand pages?
Speaker 3 (12:48):
Can your printer do that?
Speaker 2 (12:50):
This coming as a former attendee of the Shaktoberfest Haunted
House in Long Beach, California, but Haley met him at
a bar in Nashville while he, for some reason did
a DJ set. Hailey's publicist, who also represents Bruce Springsteen,
seems to have taken a pretty classic approach with making
(13:10):
her image. He got Hailey meure as many mainstream figures
and outlets as possible, as quickly as possible, in an
attempt to build credibility in the space that Hailey seemed
to be interested and well suited in video chat podcasting,
and while she was nearly immediately asked if she would
give Donald Trump a blowjob, Haley and company tried to
(13:33):
mitigate this kind of politicization in the days and weeks
to come, as Haley was brought on stage at the
Zach Bryan Concerts and flown out to judge a bikini
contest in Fort Lauderdale, telling Rolling Stone in her first
national interview on July eleventh that the attention had been
really overwhelming for her as someone whose biggest fear was
(13:54):
getting kidnapped. She covertly addresses this kind of politicization in
the inner saying when asked about the upcoming twenty twenty
four election.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
I don't want to be in the middle of it.
Whoever you want to be president, that's your business. What's
my opinion to you? And I was talking about looks wise,
Donald Trump. I'm sure you're a nice man, but you
won't getting the hawk for me. He's old enough to
be my granddaddy.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
Okay, let's put a pin in that. In this same
Rolling Stone interview, Hailey emphasizes wanting to do something positive
with the fame she'd gotten from her meme. This kind
of reminds me of Ken Bone, and she wanted to
depoliticize her own image. Also kind of reminds me of
ken Bone. And to be clear, these two people do
(14:43):
not have a lot in common, but it does seem
to be kind of the plight of the election your
main character, Remember ken Bone went viral in twenty sixteen.
At an election event, Hailey told Rolling Stone.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
Maybe this was like God's gift to me or something.
She says, everything that's going to come from this, it's
going to be something good.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
The Beast also notes that Hailey was consistently surrounded by
her new manager and publicist, along with Chelsea and a videographer.
It's clear that she wanted familiar and newly trusted people
around her to advise on this barrage of attention. The
Penthouse team's motto for Haley was said to be protect
(15:25):
the Hawk from the vultures.
Speaker 5 (15:30):
Well, bther this guy.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
Stakes two desires seem to be locked in from the beginning.
She wants to start a podcast or do something else
in comedy, and she wants to help animals. And by
the time the Rolling Stone article was released, Hailey had
in fact released her own merch and had reportedly already
made over sixty five thousand dollars in addition to thirty
(15:56):
thousand dollars for an appearance she would make on Long Island,
so she had at this point reclaimed her image. The
question was in an industry she was completely unfamiliar with.
Who could she trust to help shape this image. We'll
get back to that, but I just want to single
(16:17):
out the name of her merch site, sixteen minutes dot Life.
I have more examples down the line, but this is
a repeated trend that makes it seem like Haley and
her team wanted the podcast title to this exact show
(16:37):
too bad, So sorry, hope you enjoyed this episode. A
few days later, she made this aforementioned Long Island appearance
at a bar called the Ugly Duckling, as chronicled in
a piece in The Cut that featured some of the
most needlessly classiest writing I've read in a while. What
the writer is correct to point out, I think, is
(16:58):
that this was a bar swarmed with mostly white Republican
supporters of all ages, from kids trying to fake their
way in to meet the woman of the moment to
grown men in one of the many unlicensed Hawketua t
shirts with Trump's face on them, reading truly nasty slogans
like if she don't hawk tua, don't talk to a
(17:20):
as well as a literal Donald Trump impersonator. Why the
writer goes out of their way to call the bar shitty,
the people smelly and tubby and drinking Miller lite as
a naive attempt to fit in is anyone's guess. Don't
get me wrong, this event sounded extremely unpleasant, and the
writer is not wrong to point out how this exemplified
(17:42):
Hailey's early and immediate Republican voter appeal. When she arrives,
Haley is said to be oggled over and swarmed by
adult right wing men, and while she's enthusiastic and polite
taking photos in a yellow dress, one of her management
team members leans over to the writer from the cut, saying,
(18:04):
I have.
Speaker 10 (18:04):
A newfound appreciation for how creepy man can be. But
she's taking it like a champ. She's a girl.
Speaker 2 (18:11):
She is a girl. Interesting observation anyways. A few days later,
Hailey confirmed that men throwing themselves at her in this desperate,
creepy way both made her uncomfortable and was her new normal,
along with the almost to be expected requests for feet
picks and an only fans launch, neither of which she
(18:33):
had ever indicated an interest in. She said that she
didn't even know how this appearance had come together, only
that it was a part of her management's plan to
get her a podcast deal, and when asked about the
very trumpy nature of the event, Hailey said she didn't
want to get a picture with the Trump impersonator and
did not want to discuss her personal politics, explaining.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
I don't know much about politics. I don't talk about
things that I don't know.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
And in regards to the creepy men.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
I'm there for the women. I'd sit there all day
and talk to the women. And as summer twenty twenty
four continued, Haley's management seemed to find where her podcasting
niche was going to lie. It's a weirdly difficult space
to identify, and the closest I've found is something that
writer Max Reid calls the Zinternet, something he explains is
(19:28):
the expanded universe of not just men, but content generally
marketed towards young to middle aged men that if you
trace the latter up high enough, always comes back to
someone's shitty, scammy sports betting app.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
He describes the Internet, I think pretty perfectly like this.
Speaker 10 (19:50):
You could probably communicate the basic contours of this community
simply by calling it frat Internet or or stool Internet
or dumbass parlay bet Internet, or internet made up of
guys who sent annoying winey replies to AOC or whoever,
and when you click on their profiles, it's like thousands
of retweets of stories about the LSU football program.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
Ridiculously specific, maybe, but it's huge. This space has become
pretty big in the last ten years. Read speculates in
part because of Elon Musk taking over Twitter, and because
sports gambling has been legalized in so many places in
the US, and when they became legalized, they needed to
(20:34):
build media to get young people addicted to gambling. I
even have a personal anecdote from this. When I worked
at the Boston Globe when I first got out of college,
my editor left to go work as quote unquote the
editor of DraftKings, which at the time sounded ridiculous. The
other reporters and I thought he was a dumb ass,
(20:56):
because why would you leave a legacy newspaper to develop
hashtag content for a sports betting app. Well, we are
all podcasters and substackers now, and he is a millionaire.
So shout out Corey. If you listen to my recent
(21:28):
series on the mana sphere. This corner of media isn't
that precisely, but it is very adjacent, and it's this
area of the Internet that Hailey Welch kind of fits
in seamlessly with something that becomes clear in the series
of shows she's featured on in the next two months
before she eventually launches her own podcast, the famous Talk
(21:53):
to Us.
Speaker 4 (21:54):
I just played Better Pigs, hit some two thousand XS
lineups and have a ton of fun winning money. Download
Better and Play Better. If you want to win two
thousand times your money.
Speaker 5 (22:02):
Download Better, Play Better picks, Hello.
Speaker 4 (22:04):
Them, Welcome back to Talk to I got Miss Chelsea
and then Mark youban.
Speaker 2 (22:08):
But before that there was her appearance on Whitney Cummings
Show where we get pull quotes like this.
Speaker 3 (22:14):
I remember thinking this is so unfair.
Speaker 11 (22:16):
People should be able to go out and have a
couple of drinks and have fun and not get famous
overnight for it.
Speaker 4 (22:20):
But have it thrown on the internet.
Speaker 3 (22:22):
Are you close to having a house a month later?
Speaker 4 (22:25):
I could, yeah, probably next month, I'd say I could.
Speaker 3 (22:28):
Probably buy a house.
Speaker 11 (22:29):
I think one of the coolest things about you becoming
famous is how hard everyone's rooting for you.
Speaker 3 (22:36):
Like the Internet is usually so negative.
Speaker 11 (22:38):
It's such a nasty place, and I'm sure you've seen
some nasty stuff.
Speaker 3 (22:41):
Then that'll always happen.
Speaker 4 (22:43):
Though, I love hot dogs until I found out, what's
you know?
Speaker 3 (22:46):
I love hot dogs?
Speaker 2 (22:49):
I love hot dogs.
Speaker 11 (22:50):
That is like the most sexual thing you can say
by accident.
Speaker 3 (22:54):
That is gonna just I almost feel like we have
to cut that.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
Out and tragically later in this Internet Whitney Cummings Facetimes,
Hailey Welch's biggest comedy crush Matt Rife. So Matt Rife,
let me see if I can do this in a
sentence or two. Matt Rife is a tremendously unfunny stand
up comedian who pivoted to strictly misogynist jokes in the
(23:20):
last couple of years when he grew insecure that too
many women were coming to his shells because they were
attracted to him. Whether that's why he chose to get
the world's worst cheek implants is anyone's guess. I know,
I know, I know body shaming is horrible, but I
hope you'll agree that it doesn't count when we're talking
about Matt Rife.
Speaker 6 (23:40):
But sometimes you get a girl with a big clit
and you're like.
Speaker 5 (23:42):
God, I.
Speaker 10 (23:44):
I've seen I've seen it.
Speaker 5 (23:45):
I've seen it.
Speaker 10 (23:46):
When I've been in the bedroom with a girl with
a massive plant, I'm like, yo, that's pretty close. Yeah,
they were supposed to sick you a thumb wrestle.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
And while the bread and butter of these zinternet podcasters
is built around talking about cancel culture and you can't
do that more, Haley never really talks about cancel culture
and doesn't really seem to have much interest in airing
hot takes on these appearances or even later on her
own show. But it's clear that these edgy, often controversial
(24:15):
white millionaires are the ones that she's pulled towards. You're
Matt Rife's, You're Morgan Wallins. The list, unfortunately goes on,
and Hailey's management takes care to pull her image towards sports,
even those sports are something that Haley herself regularly admits
she knows and cares very little about. But there she
(24:37):
is throwing the first pitch at a Mets game on
August fifteenth. For some reason, I'm not going to put
you through all of these appearances, but one I do
need to single out because it is a cultural artifact
so baffling that I consider it my patriotic duty to
share it with you. Hailey Welch Miss Tua on Bill
(24:59):
Maher's podcast.
Speaker 4 (25:00):
I'm not up to trans I had to figure out
who you were today.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
I'm so serious. I don't keep up with anything.
Speaker 12 (25:07):
You're twenty one, You're not supposed to. I'd be disappointed
if you did your day to day before this happened.
Was like working in a where'd you work?
Speaker 3 (25:15):
A spring factory?
Speaker 5 (25:16):
A spring factory? Right?
Speaker 4 (25:17):
It wasn't nothing bad though, It's not like a normal factory.
You hear anything about I guess really laid back. I'm
doing it there.
Speaker 5 (25:25):
Yeah, but it's still a fucking factory. I mean yeah.
Speaker 4 (25:28):
I mean they got the bill's pay. That's all it mattered.
I didn't mind end up going to work every day.
Speaker 12 (25:32):
Which is better that or Now you're in show business, Come.
Speaker 5 (25:37):
On show business. You don't know what he Harrelson is?
Don't really whatdy Harrelson? That is time? What a ravager?
Speaker 2 (25:48):
Now? That's religious. I don't have the time or energy
to talk more about Billmar's podcast. I do know what's
called Club Random, which sounds like a Little Brother's YouTube channel,
But I do kind of love this interview because Haley
does not know or care who Bill Maher is, and
it seems to be bringing him to the verge of
(26:10):
having a nervous attack. The whole interview is basically him
quizzing her on World War two and the Beatles while
putting this like weird life serum into his sparkling water
with a syringe while she drinks a high noon like
a normal person. I promise I'm not lying. It's very,
(26:31):
very weird. The only good advice mar is capable of
giving Hailey is something I noticed happened across media elders
who spoke with her. Even when there are people I'm
not personally a fan of, there are many people twice
or three times per age who gave Haley just pragmatic
entertainment advice on how best to not fuck your life up.
(26:53):
Here's Bill Maher.
Speaker 5 (26:55):
I told you you were given this chip. You were
given the chip of fame.
Speaker 12 (26:58):
Now you want to trade that in for something that
uses that but takes it to the next level, and
you have to just like trade on what you're already
known for. That's the one thing you're known for, So
you could do a podcast for like, I don't know
if there's anything from somebody that age with that point
of view, but it couldn't be frivolous. You have to
(27:20):
take it seriously. Could you do that possibly and talk
about sex but seriously serious issues because there are a
lot of really serious issues.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
And weirdly enough, this also happened on Whitney's podcast with
Matt Rife, of all people, and.
Speaker 6 (27:37):
They were just asking if I had any kind of
advice to somebody who had had similar success in a
similar field and platform, and you were the example that
brought up, and I basically just said to fucking stick
to your guns and have fun and be smart and
responsible because as much I'm sure you've already started to
see U a little bit, as much as people love
(27:58):
you today, more and more people hate you tomorrow. And
the more people love you, the more people hate you.
Because people love you so people love to see you
succeed in the beginning, but then they fucking love to
tear you down when they feel like you've gotten too
big for your bridges. So my advice that I gave
was just for you to be smart and fucking enjoy yourself.
Speaker 2 (28:18):
So every once in a while she gets a usable
piece of advice, But this doesn't seem to be the
path that she's going to go on now to this day,
it's unclear to me how much of this plan is
of her own volition and how much is being pushed
by the management. But I have my suspicions. I'll share
this quote from your manager, Johnny Forster, when he was
(28:41):
asked if he thought Haley would ever try to get
Hollywood representation.
Speaker 10 (28:45):
She doesn't even really know what that means. No disrespect to.
Speaker 2 (28:49):
That, okay. By mid to late summer, Hailey had an
Instagram audience of over a million people, which makes it
interesting when she starts a Twitter or account sometime later
in the summer, mainly because sorry, I mean, I'm still
on there too, But Hailey's generation is not particularly interested
(29:10):
in Twitter. She literally calls it x no. From what
I can gather, Hailey started her ex account because she
was encouraged to at a massive crypto conference she was
attending as a celebrity guest last summer. Now it's unclear
exactly how this crypto appearance came together, but it appears
(29:32):
the culprit may be Howie Mandel.
Speaker 13 (29:36):
One million dollars is a top prize. No crazy stunts,
no trivia questions. All they have to do is be
able to answer the most important question tonight. And that
question is real or no Deal?
Speaker 2 (29:54):
Like that Howie Mandel, host of Deal or No Deal,
Voice of the Maguai Gizmo, Howie Mandel.
Speaker 5 (30:05):
Has it got a named that?
Speaker 9 (30:06):
Yeah?
Speaker 10 (30:06):
Mog why?
Speaker 5 (30:07):
What mag Why? I don't know some Chinese word. I
just call him gizmo? These ags you like it?
Speaker 13 (30:16):
And then my friend got me onto a movie. I
did this movie called Gremlin Gizmo. Yes, the first little
but it's the same voice, he goes.
Speaker 3 (30:25):
It's the same.
Speaker 2 (30:27):
Stay with me. Hailey Welch appeared on Howie Mandel's podcast
called Howie Mandel Does Stuff where she plays this JOKEI
game where she learns about her ancestry in a bad
ripoff of a much better show on PBS called Finding
Your Roots for Hollow People.
Speaker 5 (30:45):
You should keep that.
Speaker 4 (30:46):
Yeah, I don't trust anybody. It's not just Hollywood people,
it's just anybody.
Speaker 2 (30:49):
Why what happened? I just don't did something happen? I
just don't trust anybo.
Speaker 13 (30:54):
Can Let's ask management, can she hock to you into
the haktua, into the tube away from the microphone?
Speaker 2 (31:01):
And I can't prove that this isn't a coincidence. But
Hailey Welch later links up with Howie Mandel's son in law,
Alex Larsen Schultz aka Doc Hollywood, who is technically a musician,
but for the sake of this sentence, is absolutely a
crypto guy. This brings us to July twenty fourth, when
(31:24):
Doc Hollywood posts a photo of himself. Let's see description,
White guy of indeterminate age, presumably bald, black rimmed glasses,
black T shirt you can tell cost over one hundred
dollars for some reason, black brim hat and he's pointing
at Hailey Welch and Chelsea Bradford while reading Matt Fury
books behind him, saying that meme class is in session
(31:47):
and in case you're not terminally online, Matt Fury's work
is a reference to the fact that he created the
cartoon Frog Pepe, who the right wing and the crypto
lobby have pretty successful stolen as a symbol of their own. So,
while it's unclear whether Don Hollywood introduced Haley Welch to
(32:08):
Howie Mandel or the reverse. If I told you Howie
Mandel's son in law was a prominent villain in this saga,
would you believe me? Because that is the world that
I'm asking you to live in. Because once Dock Hollywood
pops up, as a very thorough timeline from the Ringers,
Katie Baker details, Haley becomes a peculiar fixture in the
(32:31):
blockchain community, a place known for crypto scams, crypto being
something that Haley has also suspiciously never demonstrated an interest
in before. Haley becomes a soft fixture in both the
crypto and the sports gambling space, mainly because the two
are connected via a lot of sketchy gambling, including a
(32:54):
cursed encounter where she met RFK at the Bitcoin twenty
twenty four conference in late July at some event called
Karate Combat. Sure, And it's around this same time that
she starts an x account. And while her personality remains
somewhat consistent across her social media channels, I do need
(33:16):
to note that the content on Haley's X account is
markedly different from what you'd find on her Instagram or
her Snapchat. Instagram and Snapchat for Haley tend to be
more general influencer lifestylely things, her sharing her personality in
a fairly direct way, but her ex personality is marketed
(33:39):
to the crypto AI general chaos tech bro Her early tweets,
I am absolutely certain from when I began researching this
series are from early July twenty twenty four, but appear
to have been since deleted and are impossible to access
via the wayback machine, something I suspect has something to
(34:01):
do with an eventual crypto lawsuit. But I do feel
very confident in saying that Haley's first posts on X
are a series of videos and pictures from a Nashville
bitcoin expo where she agrees to start an X account
at the event. At present, Hailey's first tweet that's publicly
available is from August seventh, but you'll have to take
(34:24):
my word for the fact that that is not true. Regardless,
the Hailey presented on X isn't just a relatable girl
from Nashville. She's a crypto capitalist with a Southern twang,
a very different version of herself, to the point that
she'd occasionally have to remind people that she was running
the account herself, posting front facing videos as evidence it's me, bitch,
(34:49):
What are you fucking mean?
Speaker 4 (34:51):
Hey? Come bractillya mes.
Speaker 2 (34:53):
Me bitches, But most of her here are either promo
for her eventual podcast on fellow cryptobro Jake Paul's sports
betting company platform, or ugly AI generated images of her
onto tech bro meme formats in no particular order, Hailey
(35:16):
as an astronaut, Hailey as the statue of liberty, Hailey
surfing holding a beer in an American flag while wearing
a tuxedo, and her spin on existing meme formats like
the Drake one, waving away traditional news sources then smiling
and pointing at X. She's using dumb catchphrases like grocktua.
(35:40):
This account is clearly courting the Elon Musk lobby on
Elon Musk's platform specifically, and while this alternate Hailey persona
builds on X, she and her management continue to introduce
her to the corner of the hyper successful, ultimately kind
of bigoted and boring video podcast world Whitney Cummings, Bill
(36:03):
Maher and so on, then on Instagram over on her
more normal persona. On August twenty eighth, Hailey launches the
one initiative It seems like she actually would have cared
about three months earlier a nonprofit called Pause Across America.
Speaker 4 (36:21):
Today, I'm happy to announce a launch of My Paws
Across America fun. Our mission is to bring awareness, advocacy,
and financial assistance to animal charities within the United States.
I'm starting in my hometown shelter and it went a
little something like this sprit pickout and we're gonna getting
some supplies. So the first thing on my list is
Lacy's and callers.
Speaker 2 (36:38):
She calls this initiative her life's mission, and I honestly
believe her. Her love of her friends, family, and pets
are the only ostensible consistence across this story. Now, it
as for what the nonprofit does, very hard to say.
Their URL is registered under Haley's LLC sixteen minutes, and
(37:02):
we know she reportedly donated a half a million dollars
of her own money and partnered with the Community Foundation
of Tennessee to get the nonprofits started. But what we
don't know is how much this charity made or what
they really did. But they are accepting donations to this day.
Don't donate there, but at the time the nonprofit was announced,
(37:25):
Haley said.
Speaker 1 (37:26):
Ever since my life churned so publicly, I realized there
had to be a reason for it, said Haley Walsh.
Growing up, the one constant in my life was my pets,
and they helped me get through so much. By starting
Haley Walsh's pause across America, my new found financial blessings
will be shared with the animals that need it most.
Speaker 2 (37:44):
And at the time this got Haley a fair amount
of goodwill. Here she is acknowledging that her fame materialized
out of kind of nowhere, as much of the media
surrounding her had indicated, and that she wanted to do
something productive with it. The management machine that she had
brought on to protect and expand her influence continued to
(38:05):
work behind the scenes. The next day, Haley's ex account
was back posting memes, this time with Haley's face on
a crypto coin, and three days later, she and Chelsea
are at the Celebrity Poker Tournament, which, to no one's surprise,
was her first poker game, and she appeared to have
no previous interest in it. In my opinion, clearly the
(38:29):
management has a mission here, but before we can get there, Yes,
It's time to talk Talk to whose trailer launched on
September two, twenty twenty four.
Speaker 5 (38:45):
She's literally doing anything to stay round.
Speaker 2 (38:47):
Does anyone actually give a fuck about her? Why are
we keeping this goal relevant?
Speaker 3 (38:50):
Your fifteen minutes are up?
Speaker 2 (38:52):
Your joke was funny for two days. Stop y'all really
thought I was done.
Speaker 9 (38:56):
I'm just getting.
Speaker 4 (38:57):
Started, baby.
Speaker 2 (38:58):
Incidentally, all of the clips of podcast conversations that follow
in this trailer are never actually aired, as is referenced
on the podcast months later by Jake Paul himself. It
appears that the entire first round of interviews conducted were
never aired due to being weird, stilted, or combative on
(39:19):
the part of the guests, meaning Jake Paul. In the trailer,
the conversations are with z internet appealing guests talking to
Haley outside with a campfire, while the eventual show happens
in a more conventional studio setting with the obligatory fluorescent
sign that says talk to U. But even if none
of this footage ever ends up airing, the trailer effectively
(39:41):
teases the idea of the podcast it appears on Jake
Paul's network. It features real conversations with the coolest guests,
and it teases what becomes a running, if uninteresting question
throughout the show's run. Who is hooky? I'll spoil that
for you, poog. The key is Hailey's on again, off
(40:01):
again boyfriend, who is a seemingly nice plumber from her
hometown named Kelby. He's around her age. She seems fine.
But don't let this deter you from the podcast message,
which is essentially who's booking?
Speaker 4 (40:15):
He might stop that too, Subscribe it that day.
Speaker 2 (40:22):
The announcement for the podcast in the Hollywood Reporter read
as follows.
Speaker 10 (40:27):
Welch is set to host the podcast Talk Toua as
part of the Better Banner, with the first episode debuting
September tenth on social, digital and audio platforms. The weekly
podcast will see Welch showcasing her comedic style and Southern
charm through a blend of interviews, lively discussions, and humorous moments.
Speaker 2 (40:48):
So if you listen to the sixteenth minute Manisphere series,
this might sound a little familiar. The just having Funny
Conversations formula is very similar to all the most successful
right leaning podcasts that populate the man of Spere every day.
But at this point, Hailey was a mainstream figure, so
(41:09):
most reactions to the announcement of Talk to were either
tongue in cheek finally, or the more boring, lamenting that
the podcast signified the end of the world, as every
Haley Welch news development seemed to tease out. At the time,
the audience was barstool conservatives. But as I said in
our first part, I still firmly believe that I am
(41:31):
the only person who have ever truly watched every single
episode of Talk to A But before we delve into
my psychosis, what's more interesting than the actual content of
the podcast is the way that Haley and her management
go in terms of aligning her with Jake Paul, the one,
(41:52):
the only, the unfortunate. More on that motherfucker when we
come back. Welcome back to sixteenth minute, and we are
(42:16):
at a critical point in Hailey Welch's social media career
where she puts her trust in one of the worst
men on the planet and his brother, who is a
close second. You can really put either brother in either position.
Logan and Jake Paul are an entity unto themselves, but
the brothers became famous online when they were even younger
(42:37):
than Haley, blowing up on vine in the mid twenty
ten's in Ohio. They started posting regularly when Logan was
twelve and Jake was ten. Here's Logan's first YouTube video,
Can I Have a Drink?
Speaker 11 (42:51):
The What's that called?
Speaker 9 (42:54):
Again?
Speaker 2 (42:55):
Already obnoxious, but the Paul brothers have run the gamut
of what internets access can look like pretty cleanly, straddling
second generation Internet pre COVID to remind you of what
that playbook was like. This was all about moving to La,
becoming daily vloggers and prank YouTubers, and being at the
very front of the hype house trend.
Speaker 9 (43:17):
Back up.
Speaker 14 (43:18):
Wow, I never thought I would say this, Well, welcome
home Jake Powler's We Made It mob We Flipped Made It.
Good morning, Jake Polish, what flippant go change? Today is
off to a flipping amazing start. We're moving into the
new Team ten house. We already got the flipping car
part in the driveway. I mean, come on, it's official.
Speaker 2 (43:38):
Maybe still the most famous high posts to this day.
Jake Paul's Team ten was omnipotent online in the mid
to late twenty tens, but for the brothers, tasering two
dead rats and getting demonetized on YouTube later, as well
as both having terrible, botched rap careers that were mostly
just plugs for merch. Here's one of Logan's worst and
(44:00):
I heard.
Speaker 3 (44:01):
You from the North, but I'm from Ohio.
Speaker 10 (44:03):
Christmas round the corner.
Speaker 14 (44:04):
Get your merch thinking biou you Marrie, Yeah boy, I'm
the maty.
Speaker 5 (44:10):
Why you freely zart.
Speaker 2 (44:12):
The brothers found that they had to continue pivoting because
they were getting canceled intermittently for truly horrific stuff. At
age twenty three, older than Haley Welch is right now
and well into his internet fame, Logan Paul famously made
content in the quote unquote Japanese suicide forest for clickbait,
(44:33):
hosting videos of recently deceased bodies while joking and making
YouTube thumbnail face about it. Not only is this truly disgusting,
but keep in mind that the audience for the Paul
Brothers at the time were overwhelmingly children, and by extension,
this put Logan Paul at the forefront of the disingenuous
(44:53):
YouTube apology format. I've made a severe and continuous lapse
in my judgment and I don't expect to be forgiven.
I'm simply here to apologize, but Jake and Logan persisted
cleanly into Web three point zero, the post COVID era,
defined by long, meandering YouTube podcast with conspiracy theorists pivoting
(45:16):
to boxing, an NFT scam called crypto Zoo that, from
what I can tell, sold NFTs of zoo, animal stock images,
military defense startups, abandoning their pet pigs, going full Trump,
and donating five figures to his twenty twenty four fundraising efforts,
interviewing Trump and solidifying the Paul's place in the New
(45:38):
manisphere of late twenty twenty four.
Speaker 3 (45:41):
Give a fight, you brother, not in real life.
Speaker 5 (45:43):
You've practiced a little bit.
Speaker 11 (45:44):
Never We've never even sparred, but I was willing to
step in from Mike Tyson when Tyson got sick, and
we actually ran it up the chain in that foot.
Speaker 3 (45:50):
It's hard for brothers to fight, though, well.
Speaker 10 (45:52):
Me and Jake decided we both come from a place
of love.
Speaker 2 (45:55):
That was Logan and in Jake's case, pertinently to this story,
a sports betting app called Better, which eventually brought on
some podcasts to basically promote the app. And that's thankfully
all you need to know about the Paul Brothers for
the purposes of this show, but keep in mind what
the Paul Brothers have in common with Haley Welch. They
(46:18):
became famous at random online, but they, unlike her, are
made of teflon. The more they're canceled, the further right
and audience they court, which is pretty normal practice at
this point. But I do think the fact that their
men makes it a lot easier for them to keep
bouncing back, because white guys are the people we're conditioned
(46:40):
to give redemption. Arcs two and I know a lot
of that sounded vague and didn't attribute things to one
brother or the other, but to be honest, I'm not
paid enough to tell them apart. But having done all
this stuff and still remaining successful enough for the recent
Jake Paul versus Mike Tyson, a convicted rapist Netflix boxing match,
(47:00):
to become one of the most successful stream sports events ever,
it's bleak. The Polls have found a lot of success
doing whatever the most annoying profitable thing to do is
in any given online moment, and as much as I
hate to hand it to them, they've pioneered a lot
of annoying scammy trends over the last decade, and it's
(47:22):
the younger Paul Jake, who founded the Better app and
bravely fought that convicted rapist two and a half times
his age on the world's largest streaming platform, who ends
up seeing an opportunity in Haley Welch enter talk to A.
But it almost wasn't called talk to A. Check this out.
Speaker 7 (47:43):
So it's a really good name for the podcast. I was,
I was very right there a girl.
Speaker 3 (47:48):
It's really good.
Speaker 11 (47:48):
I do.
Speaker 3 (47:49):
Look a few different ones like what else do you?
Was you get me?
Speaker 4 (47:53):
And then there was this one. What was the other one?
Sweet tea sixteen minutes, A little smarter, it's like.
Speaker 2 (48:03):
But you might remember. People were frustrated to see Haley
expand her influence, some because she was trying to capitalize
on the attention, and in my case, because aligning yourself
with the Paul Brothers is a bad sign. Not a
surprising call, to be clear, because the appearances that Haley
had made thus far fell somewhere between center libertarian right.
(48:27):
So people freaked out about cancel culture and making dick
jokes as a full time job well into their forties.
But what's interesting is that many of these appearances and
early guests are pretty even split of people who are
either ten or more years older than Haley is or
people currently employed by Barstool Sports, so it is clear
(48:49):
what media group she's falling into, and it's a lucrative
group of people. And while some of them are mainstream names,
most are niche popular or got their start on the
Internet and seem to have been chosen to pull in
a wider audience for Hayley, from younger guests like Jojo
Siwa and country singer Dasha to high profile comedians like
(49:12):
Hannah Burner and Whitney Cummings to more popular, center to
conservative podcast hosts like Brooks Schofield, Caitlin Bristow and Breonna
Chicken fry De, Teke Adjason Bros. And business bros like
Jake Paul Whiz Khalifa and I'm not kidding Mark Hubin.
That man will talk to fucking anyone. So as the
(49:34):
talk to a historian du jour, I'm convinced what happens
on this show that's worth discussing because most of the
comments on the YouTube releases of the podcast, which peak
at two point seven million views on the debut episode
and reach their low at around a quarter million views,
as well as charting on conventional podcast charts. Most commenters
(49:56):
don't appear to be watching the show.
Speaker 10 (50:01):
I'm a forty one year old surgeon mid operation. I
got an important message that the Talk toua podcast was released.
I dropped everything and rushed home immediately. Thank you for
saving my life.
Speaker 8 (50:12):
Talk Tua currently fighting on the frontlines in Ukraine and
everyone has called truce to watch episode one of the
Talk Tua podcast. Amen.
Speaker 10 (50:22):
I was in the middle of driving a school bus
full of kids on the highway when I got this notification.
I jumped out of the bus, causing a nineteen cop
pile up, just to run home and watch this podcast.
Thank you, missus, Talktua. You are truly inspiration.
Speaker 2 (50:39):
So what happens when you do listen to the show.
Here's a short tour In episode one with Whitney Cummings,
we learned that the podcast is being recorded in la
as well as are introduced to the people who Haley
is surrounded by more or less constantly. There is, of
course Chelsea, who serves as a coh who they cut
(51:01):
to every once in a while. Also her manager Jamie,
who seems like a real piece of work and seemingly
a publicist from time to time. During episode one, Haley
talks about how she recently has taken her first flank
ever from Nashville to LA and holds her own pretty well,
although Whitney Cummings is pretty generous and encouraging about making
sure the conversation keeps moving, and there's a bone chilling
(51:25):
pattern established for this first time host, the transition from
being a spirited conversation with other people who a dead
eyed reading of an ad for Jake Paul's shitty sports
betting app but.
Speaker 3 (51:37):
Like, so that's something that is such a breath of
fresh air about you. It is you know, I agree.
Speaker 4 (51:42):
So I'm gonna be real with y'all. I was never
the biggest football fan. I honestly don't even get the
rules that much. But what I do know is I
like Kevin fun and winning money and better picks. Lets
you went up to a thousand times your money.
Speaker 2 (51:52):
These interruptions get increasingly weird as the show continues, but
the only other thing really worth mentioning here is that
Whitney Cummings gives Hayle the following misleading reassurance at the
end of her appearance.
Speaker 11 (52:04):
So, no, I'm proud of the people you've surrounded yourself with,
because that makes or breaks you mentally, financially says everything.
Speaker 3 (52:12):
So you have amazing taste in humans.
Speaker 2 (52:15):
Whoops. Pass forward to episode three with Caitlin Bristow, where
Haley shares the following terrifying prophetic dream.
Speaker 4 (52:23):
So, I actually had a dream about Matt Rife a
few weeks ago, and it like traumatized me a little bit.
This man he come out, He's like, just give me
a minute, you know, I'll be right back.
Speaker 2 (52:30):
I was like, oh, okay.
Speaker 4 (52:31):
He comes back and he's like looking at me off
of weirds. I was like, okay, I need to get
away from him. I start running from him and hide
in this closet and there's a bunch of dead girls
in this closet and I get in it.
Speaker 2 (52:41):
He still killed, you.
Speaker 3 (52:42):
Know, I'm like, what the fuck?
Speaker 4 (52:44):
He opens the door and finds me, and I like
dart in between his legs and run out and then
I'm in a cornfield somehow, and then he runs out
with an axe and starts like cutting on my ankle.
Speaker 2 (52:53):
Oh my god. Episode four, Haley's asked by guest Dasha
about her mental health whatever.
Speaker 4 (53:00):
Sometimes yeah, okay, if you read like some main shit
like on an off day, you're like, damn.
Speaker 2 (53:04):
Yeah, what if they're right?
Speaker 1 (53:05):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (53:06):
Episode five, Haley acknowledges her fucked up in traumatic childhood.
You had like a crazy childhood.
Speaker 4 (53:12):
I had a very fucked up childhood.
Speaker 3 (53:14):
Really?
Speaker 4 (53:15):
Yeah, damn, I'm a granny baby. Was that like like
my granny raised me?
Speaker 9 (53:19):
Oh wait, same as my girlfriend?
Speaker 2 (53:22):
Episode seven, the five million teaser of who is Pooky
turns into yet another sports gambling ad.
Speaker 4 (53:30):
All right, child big Announcement's time for their revel And
now I'm not talking about Pooky, and I'm talking about
the best offer for this NBA season. In honor of
basketball being bat all new and existing users will get
a deposit match on better picks.
Speaker 2 (53:43):
Now Chelsea is in the ads as well, but she
doesn't really say anything. She just stares vacantly into the
middle distance. And it's around this part of the show
where guests will regularly quiz Haley on things she doesn't know,
making her look charmingly uninformed for not knowing who figure
like Plato and Socrates are. For all of its silliness,
(54:04):
it's pretty dull, but as talked to a chugs along.
Haley reaches a few more benchmarks of cultural relevance, including
the classic weird ASNL reference, come to.
Speaker 13 (54:15):
Me, today's celebrity contestants, We've got the viral sensation of
the summer, the somehow famous for one sentence, Hailey.
Speaker 5 (54:21):
Welch huh tooy spit on that side?
Speaker 2 (54:27):
That's the one yep in late September, and she made
more inroads with the conservative tech community by joining Kick
in early October, Kick being the streaming platform where most
people go after they've been kicked off of Twitch for
saying a slur. On Kick, she live streams her appearance
at a gamer conference. Gaily also makes repeated attempts on
(54:50):
X to meet Michael Saylor, a bitcoin billionaire who, of
course has been to court for tax fraud. On X,
she repeatedly tries to saddle up to eat La Musk,
hosting a number of AI photoshops as that scary Tesla robot,
as well as advocating to free Ross Ulbricht, who's currently
serving a life sentence for running the darknet monolith Silk Road.
(55:13):
While Haley never advocates for Trump explicitly, the way she's
saddled up to mostly his supporters, gives you an idea
of the audience she's interested in. On October ninth, mister Beast,
a tremendously successful YouTuber who recently got engaged to try
to distract from his ongoing reputation troubles, rented out an
entire movie theater to watch Talk Tua on the big screen,
(55:37):
captioning it as follows.
Speaker 10 (55:39):
Pov you rent a theater to watch Talk Tua, listen
to the thick of It by KSI, and eat Lunchley, which.
Speaker 2 (55:46):
In case you have a life, is a canceled YouTuber
named mister Beast watching a crypto fraud flash in the
Pan Influencer's podcast Haley Welch while listening to rapper Slash
Logan Paul's best friend Slash co business owner ks I
while eating Lunchly. Lunchley is, or maybe it was at
this point I just checked is a lunchables competitor founded
(56:10):
by Ksi, Logan, Paul and mister Beast that famously has
a lot of disgusting mold in it. Anyways, nice plug
for talk to by mister Beast. Of course, the reason
mister Beast did that was synergy Lunchley is a Paul
endeavor and Hailey is an employee of the Paul family,
(56:33):
and that synergy goes both ways. Once the Jake Paul
versus Mike Tyson fight is announced on Netflix, Haley and
Chelsea constantly joke about it, mentioned that they're attending, encourage
others to watch, and jokingly pretend to be rooting for
convicted rapist Mike Tyson. We have to keep moving. Episode nine,
released a week before the twenty twenty four election. This
(56:57):
ad appears, Chelsea, us, what what is it this time?
Speaker 4 (57:01):
Did you know you can bet on the election.
Speaker 8 (57:03):
Like you can bet on who's going to be president.
Speaker 2 (57:05):
Yeah, it's this new app called Koushi.
Speaker 8 (57:07):
No way, I gotta see this for myself.
Speaker 4 (57:10):
Oh my gosh, you can bet on different events too.
Speaker 2 (57:12):
No way, I've got to see it for myself. Episode ten,
Jake Paul appears ahead of his dumb ass Netflix fight
and goes full Trump.
Speaker 15 (57:21):
Then there still be the hate of oh, fight someone
your own age, because people are brain dead, actually, and
they don't look at the actual facts, which is probably
why a lot of people are voting for Kamala Harris.
But it's a sad world out there.
Speaker 2 (57:37):
In this episode, Hayley's boyfriend Pooky aka Kelby, is revealed
and immediately starts doing a sports gambling ad with her.
Speaker 4 (57:46):
Pooky, I got a surprise for you.
Speaker 2 (57:49):
Nothing you do surprises me anymore.
Speaker 4 (57:51):
Game times hooking us up. We're gonna be able to
get some good tickets here. You pick pick your top
three and then I'll pick out of those.
Speaker 15 (57:57):
Can it be a game a concert?
Speaker 5 (57:59):
I can choose anything?
Speaker 9 (58:00):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (58:01):
And speaking of Pooky, the day after he appears on
Talk Toua, Hailey and her team launch her first and
possibly her last, app, called Pooky Tools. Why Not I've
downloaded the app, but refused to pay to use it,
(58:22):
although most reviews indicate that while it markets itself as
a dating app, it mainly seems to be an AI
tool that tells you how tall someone is when you
point your phone at it, and much like the podcast,
it's unclear if anyone has ever actually used Pooky Tools,
because all of the reviews on the app store seemed
to be jokes, such as where do I begin?
Speaker 10 (58:47):
This app has absolutely ruined my life. I can't believe
Hailey Welch, the creator of Talk Tua, would do this
to me I now have a court here for domestic
violence charges against me and drunk driving, which both didn't happen.
I thought this app would help me get all the
(59:07):
huzz but I did not. I am very disappointed Hailey Welch,
but I do love talk to him.
Speaker 2 (59:15):
Don't worry. The jokes become increasingly sexually violent as you scroll.
Episode eleven is whiz Khalifa promoting his bespoke weed brand.
Episode twelve is Mark Cuban, who both talks to Chelsea
and Pooky about how Haley takes massive shits and more
interestingly explicitly warrens Haley Welch not to go into crypto.
(59:39):
Check out this transition in this episode. I kind of
love it.
Speaker 12 (59:42):
Man.
Speaker 4 (59:43):
It's rough out.
Speaker 5 (59:44):
Here, It is really rough out here. But I have
no found respect for you.
Speaker 9 (59:48):
Hailey.
Speaker 3 (59:48):
Thank you, right, thank you the win.
Speaker 2 (59:53):
Do you do anything with crypto?
Speaker 3 (59:54):
I do a lot with crypto?
Speaker 2 (59:55):
Actually, Okay, let's hear the rest of the clip.
Speaker 4 (59:57):
Oh yeah, and can I give you some Yeah?
Speaker 9 (01:00:01):
I'll you Okay, are you sure you're gonna watch? I
don't know.
Speaker 3 (01:00:05):
I'm not a big a fan about meme coins. I
love crypto, but but you could make some money from it.
Speaker 11 (01:00:09):
There's no doubt about it, no doubt about it.
Speaker 2 (01:00:11):
So a weird, cautious endorsement where a Cuban is basically like, yeah,
meme coins are a scam, but you could make money
off of it, sure enough. And on the final episode
of Talk to A Thus Far, episode twelve titled How
Not to Get Canceled, released on December third. It's not
(01:00:33):
a great episode, but it might be the final episode
of Talk to A we ever get because it was
released just one day before Haley Welch's meme coin dropped
and very possibly vaporized her career altogether. Talk to A
(01:00:56):
falls so a crypto scam can emerge, and that's next
time on our final part of the hawk Tuit trilogy
on sixteenth Minute. Sixteenth Minute is a production of Pool
Zone Media and iHeart Radio. It is written, posted, and
(01:01:16):
produced by me Jamie Rostis. Our executive producers are Sophie
Lickterman and Robert Evans leamasing Ian Johnson is our supervising
producer and our editor.
Speaker 5 (01:01:26):
Our theme song.
Speaker 2 (01:01:27):
Is by Sad thirteen. Voice acting is from Grant Crater
and pet Shout outs to our dog producer Anderson My
Kat's flea Casper, and by pet Rothbert, who will outlive
us all Bye.
Cool Zone Media.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Welcome back to sixteenth Minute, the podcast where we take
a look at the internet's characters of the day and
see what their moment says about us and the Internet.
And today we are continuing our deep dive on Hailey
Welch aka the Hawk to a Girl. When we left
off last week, Hailey Welch had just decided to go
(00:27):
public as Miss Hawktua on July one, twenty twenty four,
abruptly solving a mystery that sleuths across the Internet had
been trying to figure out for weeks, either to identify
who she was for fun or claim slash profit from
her words and image when she wasn't claiming it for herself.
(00:47):
And keep in mind, the original Hawk was posted June eleventh,
and three weeks later, there had already been several rounds
of discourse surrounding Haley. It wasn't until she introduced herself
to the public that the details of her biography began
to walk in place. This is how I've been able
to put it together as best I can. Hailey Welch
(01:11):
was raised by her grandmother or her granny in Belfast, Tennessee,
population eight hundred and forty four. Around the time since
she was nine months old. Some basic stats about Belfast, Tennessee.
Its majority working class and comprised of non high school grads.
There are two men to every woman. It is overwhelmingly white,
(01:33):
and has a limited job market. It's also farmland. Most
early footage of Haley features animals in the background, and
if you can't see them, you can usually hear them.
Hailey's parents had a limited presence in her life. Her dad,
a farm hand, was in the picture, but infrequently. She
(01:53):
says she rarely spent time with him growing up. Her
mother was a drug addict from the time Haley was
born and has never been in the picture in her life,
something that Haley became gradually more open about as her
fame continued to grow. And by that I mean it
is not at all unusual they hear Haley making crack
baby jokes at her own expense. Here's an example from
(02:16):
Whitney Cummings podcast.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
Twenty one.
Speaker 4 (02:20):
Oh how's your mom?
Speaker 2 (02:21):
Mamma a crackhead?
Speaker 4 (02:22):
You don't want her?
Speaker 3 (02:23):
Is she an actual crackhout? Yea, I'm a crag baby,
are you daw?
Speaker 2 (02:27):
Why you guys so funny? Hailey is a high school
graduate with a close knit group of childhood friends. She
was a cheerleader in high school, and at age twenty one,
was working at a spring factory called Tennessee Spring and
Metal as an inspector and shipping manager who often had
to wake up at two thirty in the morning to
get to work on time. She has a tattoo saying
(02:48):
still I Rise, a quote that references both Amaya Angelou
Pome and, according to Haley, a lot of the difficulties
she faced growing up and transcending them anyways. The second
episode of Talk to a really emphasizes the rural normality
of her lifestyle, complete with her drinking wine on the
porch with her friends.
Speaker 4 (03:10):
I'm always down for Taco Bell.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
You are Maha freeze.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
I've never had one.
Speaker 5 (03:14):
They're good.
Speaker 4 (03:16):
We're taking your Baha virginity.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
And going to Taco Bell habitually, which in my opinion,
is always a sign of good character. Another thing that
struck me is that Haley seems to have a vested
interest in lifting up her friends from Tennessee in the
process of going through this chaotic experience, particularly Chelsea Bradford,
who appeared in the original Tim and D TV video
(03:41):
with Haley and initially convinced Haley to do it at all.
Chelsea was a friend who would later stand up for
her a number of times and would eventually become her
talk to a co host and essentially right hand woman.
And the reason that most people hadn't put any of
this together and assigned false narratives to proliferate that was
(04:02):
that Haley wasn't even on social media at the time
the clip went viral. This is from her first interview
on podcast Plan Pree Uncut amazing. But did you delete
all of your social media?
Speaker 6 (04:14):
Okay?
Speaker 4 (04:14):
So I deleted all my social media like six months
ago due to like personal reasons.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
I never really got on it or anything like that.
Speaker 7 (04:20):
Oh okay, So it didn't have anything to do with this.
Speaker 4 (04:23):
Oh no, I was long gone before that.
Speaker 7 (04:25):
You were already gone from social media. And everyone thought
that you deleted your social media because you were like
scared of all of this blowing up.
Speaker 3 (04:33):
But you were gone.
Speaker 4 (04:34):
I've been gone from it.
Speaker 2 (04:35):
So are you going to come back? I think we're
working on that right now. As she's consistently alluded to,
Hailey was mortified when the Hawk to a clip went
viral and didn't do anything except go to work for
the week after she first noticed its virality. She pretty
cleanly breaks down the emotions she was navigating at this
time during this interview on Plan Bree with Brianna LaPaglia
(04:59):
of Barstools.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
It was just massive.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
It was massive, okay, war close through your head.
Speaker 8 (05:03):
When that, I was like, oh, well, this.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
Is kind of fun.
Speaker 4 (05:05):
I was like, it's not gonna get bigger than this.
And I go back like an hour later in the
views done went up by like a milia and I
was like, oh my god, there's no way that just happened.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
Sure, up it did.
Speaker 7 (05:14):
And then it kept going and kept going, and then
there was the search for you. Yeah, and what like,
what did you want to do when there was a search?
Was there a part of you that was like, I
don't want to be known as the hook to a girl?
Speaker 4 (05:23):
Yeah, there was a big part of it. And then
they started spilling my name wrong and making like accounts
of me, which they got pictures off all my friends
like social media's and stuff like that, and which it's
it's kind of creepy, stay in your face on another
account that don't belong to You're like.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Yeah, people thought any of words, Jillian.
Speaker 7 (05:39):
I saw a bunch of people were getting like recognized
as you, but it wasn't you.
Speaker 3 (05:44):
It was wild.
Speaker 7 (05:45):
So when they officially found you, were you like I
want to dive into this or I want to take
a step back.
Speaker 4 (05:51):
I was like, oh shit, I'm not adding these people back.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
LaPaglia also acknowledges another wave of media surrounding Haley prior
to her siding to lean into her fifteen minutes of fame.
Speaker 7 (06:03):
What do you do now, because now you have management
and I have a team, what are your plans moving forward?
Speaker 3 (06:08):
Like do you want to.
Speaker 7 (06:09):
Still be the hook to a girl or do you
wanna like.
Speaker 4 (06:12):
I don't really want that to be like my image, yeah,
like hot to a girl. I just I don't say
that being like yeah, I don't want to be none
of that.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
So it's kind of a surface exploration of how this
shift went for Hailey. But the idea that Haley voluntarily
wanted to leave social media six months ago and now
is returning to it just to reclaim and ideally profit
from this moment more or less happened because of something
that was outside of her control. For everyone that I've
(06:46):
seen jumped at the conclusion that Haley was determined to
be famous. I don't see any evidence that that was
the case. Thinking of the girls and women whose lives
were damaged or demolished by appearances on Girl's Gone Wild,
I don't see it even more. But on Plan Brie,
Chelsea Bradford appears briefly as well, and offers a little
(07:09):
insight in her ability to consent to the on the
street interview From her perspective.
Speaker 7 (07:15):
Did you say anything that you wish you didn't know?
Speaker 4 (07:17):
Which, I wasn't prepared for those kind of questions, so
I don't think anybody was, like I wasn't in the
right mind, but I knew what I was saying, you know.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
Yeah, I made sure to keep it.
Speaker 3 (07:26):
Like because it was going to go out there. Yeah,
and you were just like fuck it.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
I just said, I don't give a fuck.
Speaker 3 (07:34):
So, like I was.
Speaker 7 (07:35):
Saying before, what do you think she should do now?
Speaker 3 (07:37):
Like, do you think she should just take full advantage
of it?
Speaker 5 (07:39):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (07:40):
Absolutely, Yeah.
Speaker 4 (07:41):
I love her personality and the fact that the world
gets to see it and they obviously love it too,
so I think she should.
Speaker 3 (07:47):
And that accent, the accent is so good.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
Again, like we talked about last week. I think two
things need to be true here. There's not much doubt
at this point in early July that Healy has decided
to lean into this fame and see what might become
of it. And that's pretty common for main characters in
her age range early twenties who don't have long standing
careers or families of their own to consider. But I
(08:13):
think it's also fair to say that this was not
something she was necessarily courting prior to this moment. So
what now? During her first interview, here is what Haley
thinks is next.
Speaker 7 (08:26):
So now is like, you're gonna go to La, You're
gonna go to New York.
Speaker 3 (08:29):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 7 (08:30):
Do you think you see yourself like starting your own
type of like show or podcasts or you're just gonna
be like an internet personality.
Speaker 4 (08:37):
I think we're gonna do like a show and then
we're just gonna be like on a bunch of podcasts
and everything else in between.
Speaker 5 (08:42):
Cool.
Speaker 3 (08:42):
So kind of just figuring out as you go.
Speaker 4 (08:43):
Oh yeah, there's more to come, don't worry.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
And at the end of her interview with LaPaglia, we
get the first hint of exactly how politicized Haley is
going to be as a figure when LaPaglia asks if
Haley would if Haley would hawk on that thing of
various prominent people leading to the inevitable Donald Trump.
Speaker 4 (09:08):
No, absolutely not, uh huh for me, Jake Paul, I'm
happy to say hawk hawk Yeah.
Speaker 3 (09:19):
You said, okay.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
Thankfully. This happened in twenty twenty four, a moment where
the media had finally recognized that when someone gets this
famous this fast, they really need to think about how
they're going to frame her. I'm just kidding. Here's part
two of Haley Welton the hawk to with saga. Welcome
back to the show. Let's play the theme song.
Speaker 9 (09:48):
It's time sixteen let's see.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
Welcome back to sixteenth minute, the podcast where we take
a look at the Internet's main characters of the day,
talk to them and see what their moment meant for
them and what it says about us and the Internet.
My name is Jamie Loftus. And while I'm recording this
from the past, I'm assuming President Trump's second inauguration was
(10:53):
even scarier. And while I dissociate with you for an
hour or so, let's continue to examine the saga of
hawk to a girl Ailey Welch, after her first formal
media appearance with Brianna LaPaglia aka Brianna Chicken Fry no
time to explain, she was further politicized by saying that
(11:13):
she was not interested in hawktuaing on Donald Trump's penis,
and I mean, god forbid, these two twenty one year
old girls immediately knew they didn't want to slobber on
the dick of a nearly eighty year old man. And
off of this very normal question came a very normal
(11:33):
media response. On the right, we have Laura Lumer, the
degenerate Hawk Tour girl's real name is Haley Welsh's anti Trump.
Then Laura Lumer later that day.
Speaker 1 (11:47):
I stand corrected at Bill Ackman. Upon further review, it
turns out that she was only talking about whether she
performed fellatio on President Trump, and.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
In the center, an embarrassing Twitter account called Biden's win
the Hawk.
Speaker 10 (12:01):
To a girl just absolutely demolished Donald Trump, saying it's
a no go for her retweet to make sure all
Americans no gen z is speaking out against Donald Trump
and his radical agenda and.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
In the words of a normal Instagram commenter.
Speaker 8 (12:18):
Stop mimifying politics. It's not whimsical or cute. America is
facing a horrifying reality, and articles like this trivialize it.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
This feels like it happened five thousand years ago. But
while all of this was happening, Haley's team put her
to work, mostly making appearances. At first, she memorably met Shaq,
who is the king of the random endorsements.
Speaker 10 (12:44):
Ebsine ego teenk comes with so much ink you can
print up the five thousand pages?
Speaker 3 (12:48):
Can your printer do that?
Speaker 2 (12:50):
This coming as a former attendee of the Shaktoberfest Haunted
House in Long Beach, California, but Haley met him at
a bar in Nashville while he, for some reason did
a DJ set. Hailey's publicist, who also represents Bruce Springsteen,
seems to have taken a pretty classic approach with making
(13:10):
her image. He got Hailey meure as many mainstream figures
and outlets as possible, as quickly as possible, in an
attempt to build credibility in the space that Hailey seemed
to be interested and well suited in video chat podcasting,
and while she was nearly immediately asked if she would
give Donald Trump a blowjob, Haley and company tried to
(13:33):
mitigate this kind of politicization in the days and weeks
to come, as Haley was brought on stage at the
Zach Bryan Concerts and flown out to judge a bikini
contest in Fort Lauderdale, telling Rolling Stone in her first
national interview on July eleventh that the attention had been
really overwhelming for her as someone whose biggest fear was
(13:54):
getting kidnapped. She covertly addresses this kind of politicization in
the inner saying when asked about the upcoming twenty twenty
four election.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
I don't want to be in the middle of it.
Whoever you want to be president, that's your business. What's
my opinion to you? And I was talking about looks wise,
Donald Trump. I'm sure you're a nice man, but you
won't getting the hawk for me. He's old enough to
be my granddaddy.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
Okay, let's put a pin in that. In this same
Rolling Stone interview, Hailey emphasizes wanting to do something positive
with the fame she'd gotten from her meme. This kind
of reminds me of Ken Bone, and she wanted to
depoliticize her own image. Also kind of reminds me of
ken Bone. And to be clear, these two people do
(14:43):
not have a lot in common, but it does seem
to be kind of the plight of the election your
main character, Remember ken Bone went viral in twenty sixteen.
At an election event, Hailey told Rolling Stone.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
Maybe this was like God's gift to me or something.
She says, everything that's going to come from this, it's
going to be something good.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
The Beast also notes that Hailey was consistently surrounded by
her new manager and publicist, along with Chelsea and a videographer.
It's clear that she wanted familiar and newly trusted people
around her to advise on this barrage of attention. The
Penthouse team's motto for Haley was said to be protect
(15:25):
the Hawk from the vultures.
Speaker 5 (15:30):
Well, bther this guy.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
Stakes two desires seem to be locked in from the beginning.
She wants to start a podcast or do something else
in comedy, and she wants to help animals. And by
the time the Rolling Stone article was released, Hailey had
in fact released her own merch and had reportedly already
made over sixty five thousand dollars in addition to thirty
(15:56):
thousand dollars for an appearance she would make on Long Island,
so she had at this point reclaimed her image. The
question was in an industry she was completely unfamiliar with.
Who could she trust to help shape this image. We'll
get back to that, but I just want to single
(16:17):
out the name of her merch site, sixteen minutes dot Life.
I have more examples down the line, but this is
a repeated trend that makes it seem like Haley and
her team wanted the podcast title to this exact show
(16:37):
too bad, So sorry, hope you enjoyed this episode. A
few days later, she made this aforementioned Long Island appearance
at a bar called the Ugly Duckling, as chronicled in
a piece in The Cut that featured some of the
most needlessly classiest writing I've read in a while. What
the writer is correct to point out, I think, is
(16:58):
that this was a bar swarmed with mostly white Republican
supporters of all ages, from kids trying to fake their
way in to meet the woman of the moment to
grown men in one of the many unlicensed Hawketua t
shirts with Trump's face on them, reading truly nasty slogans
like if she don't hawk tua, don't talk to a
(17:20):
as well as a literal Donald Trump impersonator. Why the
writer goes out of their way to call the bar shitty,
the people smelly and tubby and drinking Miller lite as
a naive attempt to fit in is anyone's guess. Don't
get me wrong, this event sounded extremely unpleasant, and the
writer is not wrong to point out how this exemplified
(17:42):
Hailey's early and immediate Republican voter appeal. When she arrives,
Haley is said to be oggled over and swarmed by
adult right wing men, and while she's enthusiastic and polite
taking photos in a yellow dress, one of her management
team members leans over to the writer from the cut, saying,
(18:04):
I have.
Speaker 10 (18:04):
A newfound appreciation for how creepy man can be. But
she's taking it like a champ. She's a girl.
Speaker 2 (18:11):
She is a girl. Interesting observation anyways. A few days later,
Hailey confirmed that men throwing themselves at her in this desperate,
creepy way both made her uncomfortable and was her new normal,
along with the almost to be expected requests for feet
picks and an only fans launch, neither of which she
(18:33):
had ever indicated an interest in. She said that she
didn't even know how this appearance had come together, only
that it was a part of her management's plan to
get her a podcast deal, and when asked about the
very trumpy nature of the event, Hailey said she didn't
want to get a picture with the Trump impersonator and
did not want to discuss her personal politics, explaining.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
I don't know much about politics. I don't talk about
things that I don't know.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
And in regards to the creepy men.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
I'm there for the women. I'd sit there all day
and talk to the women. And as summer twenty twenty
four continued, Haley's management seemed to find where her podcasting
niche was going to lie. It's a weirdly difficult space
to identify, and the closest I've found is something that
writer Max Reid calls the Zinternet, something he explains is
(19:28):
the expanded universe of not just men, but content generally
marketed towards young to middle aged men that if you
trace the latter up high enough, always comes back to
someone's shitty, scammy sports betting app.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
He describes the Internet, I think pretty perfectly like this.
Speaker 10 (19:50):
You could probably communicate the basic contours of this community
simply by calling it frat Internet or or stool Internet
or dumbass parlay bet Internet, or internet made up of
guys who sent annoying winey replies to AOC or whoever,
and when you click on their profiles, it's like thousands
of retweets of stories about the LSU football program.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
Ridiculously specific, maybe, but it's huge. This space has become
pretty big in the last ten years. Read speculates in
part because of Elon Musk taking over Twitter, and because
sports gambling has been legalized in so many places in
the US, and when they became legalized, they needed to
(20:34):
build media to get young people addicted to gambling. I
even have a personal anecdote from this. When I worked
at the Boston Globe when I first got out of college,
my editor left to go work as quote unquote the
editor of DraftKings, which at the time sounded ridiculous. The
other reporters and I thought he was a dumb ass,
(20:56):
because why would you leave a legacy newspaper to develop
hashtag content for a sports betting app. Well, we are
all podcasters and substackers now, and he is a millionaire.
So shout out Corey. If you listen to my recent
(21:28):
series on the mana sphere. This corner of media isn't
that precisely, but it is very adjacent, and it's this
area of the Internet that Hailey Welch kind of fits
in seamlessly with something that becomes clear in the series
of shows she's featured on in the next two months
before she eventually launches her own podcast, the famous Talk
(21:53):
to Us.
Speaker 4 (21:54):
I just played Better Pigs, hit some two thousand XS
lineups and have a ton of fun winning money. Download
Better and Play Better. If you want to win two
thousand times your money.
Speaker 5 (22:02):
Download Better, Play Better picks, Hello.
Speaker 4 (22:04):
Them, Welcome back to Talk to I got Miss Chelsea
and then Mark youban.
Speaker 2 (22:08):
But before that there was her appearance on Whitney Cummings
Show where we get pull quotes like this.
Speaker 3 (22:14):
I remember thinking this is so unfair.
Speaker 11 (22:16):
People should be able to go out and have a
couple of drinks and have fun and not get famous
overnight for it.
Speaker 4 (22:20):
But have it thrown on the internet.
Speaker 3 (22:22):
Are you close to having a house a month later?
Speaker 4 (22:25):
I could, yeah, probably next month, I'd say I could.
Speaker 3 (22:28):
Probably buy a house.
Speaker 11 (22:29):
I think one of the coolest things about you becoming
famous is how hard everyone's rooting for you.
Speaker 3 (22:36):
Like the Internet is usually so negative.
Speaker 11 (22:38):
It's such a nasty place, and I'm sure you've seen
some nasty stuff.
Speaker 3 (22:41):
Then that'll always happen.
Speaker 4 (22:43):
Though, I love hot dogs until I found out, what's
you know?
Speaker 3 (22:46):
I love hot dogs?
Speaker 2 (22:49):
I love hot dogs.
Speaker 11 (22:50):
That is like the most sexual thing you can say
by accident.
Speaker 3 (22:54):
That is gonna just I almost feel like we have
to cut that.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
Out and tragically later in this Internet Whitney Cummings Facetimes,
Hailey Welch's biggest comedy crush Matt Rife. So Matt Rife,
let me see if I can do this in a
sentence or two. Matt Rife is a tremendously unfunny stand
up comedian who pivoted to strictly misogynist jokes in the
(23:20):
last couple of years when he grew insecure that too
many women were coming to his shells because they were
attracted to him. Whether that's why he chose to get
the world's worst cheek implants is anyone's guess. I know,
I know, I know body shaming is horrible, but I
hope you'll agree that it doesn't count when we're talking
about Matt Rife.
Speaker 6 (23:40):
But sometimes you get a girl with a big clit
and you're like.
Speaker 5 (23:42):
God, I.
Speaker 10 (23:44):
I've seen I've seen it.
Speaker 5 (23:45):
I've seen it.
Speaker 10 (23:46):
When I've been in the bedroom with a girl with
a massive plant, I'm like, yo, that's pretty close. Yeah,
they were supposed to sick you a thumb wrestle.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
And while the bread and butter of these zinternet podcasters
is built around talking about cancel culture and you can't
do that more, Haley never really talks about cancel culture
and doesn't really seem to have much interest in airing
hot takes on these appearances or even later on her
own show. But it's clear that these edgy, often controversial
(24:15):
white millionaires are the ones that she's pulled towards. You're
Matt Rife's, You're Morgan Wallins. The list, unfortunately goes on,
and Hailey's management takes care to pull her image towards sports,
even those sports are something that Haley herself regularly admits
she knows and cares very little about. But there she
(24:37):
is throwing the first pitch at a Mets game on
August fifteenth. For some reason, I'm not going to put
you through all of these appearances, but one I do
need to single out because it is a cultural artifact
so baffling that I consider it my patriotic duty to
share it with you. Hailey Welch Miss Tua on Bill
(24:59):
Maher's podcast.
Speaker 4 (25:00):
I'm not up to trans I had to figure out
who you were today.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
I'm so serious. I don't keep up with anything.
Speaker 12 (25:07):
You're twenty one, You're not supposed to. I'd be disappointed
if you did your day to day before this happened.
Was like working in a where'd you work?
Speaker 3 (25:15):
A spring factory?
Speaker 5 (25:16):
A spring factory? Right?
Speaker 4 (25:17):
It wasn't nothing bad though, It's not like a normal factory.
You hear anything about I guess really laid back. I'm
doing it there.
Speaker 5 (25:25):
Yeah, but it's still a fucking factory. I mean yeah.
Speaker 4 (25:28):
I mean they got the bill's pay. That's all it mattered.
I didn't mind end up going to work every day.
Speaker 12 (25:32):
Which is better that or Now you're in show business, Come.
Speaker 5 (25:37):
On show business. You don't know what he Harrelson is?
Don't really whatdy Harrelson? That is time? What a ravager?
Speaker 2 (25:48):
Now? That's religious. I don't have the time or energy
to talk more about Billmar's podcast. I do know what's
called Club Random, which sounds like a Little Brother's YouTube channel,
But I do kind of love this interview because Haley
does not know or care who Bill Maher is, and
it seems to be bringing him to the verge of
(26:10):
having a nervous attack. The whole interview is basically him
quizzing her on World War two and the Beatles while
putting this like weird life serum into his sparkling water
with a syringe while she drinks a high noon like
a normal person. I promise I'm not lying. It's very,
(26:31):
very weird. The only good advice mar is capable of
giving Hailey is something I noticed happened across media elders
who spoke with her. Even when there are people I'm
not personally a fan of, there are many people twice
or three times per age who gave Haley just pragmatic
entertainment advice on how best to not fuck your life up.
(26:53):
Here's Bill Maher.
Speaker 5 (26:55):
I told you you were given this chip. You were
given the chip of fame.
Speaker 12 (26:58):
Now you want to trade that in for something that
uses that but takes it to the next level, and
you have to just like trade on what you're already
known for. That's the one thing you're known for, So
you could do a podcast for like, I don't know
if there's anything from somebody that age with that point
of view, but it couldn't be frivolous. You have to
(27:20):
take it seriously. Could you do that possibly and talk
about sex but seriously serious issues because there are a
lot of really serious issues.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
And weirdly enough, this also happened on Whitney's podcast with
Matt Rife, of all people, and.
Speaker 6 (27:37):
They were just asking if I had any kind of
advice to somebody who had had similar success in a
similar field and platform, and you were the example that
brought up, and I basically just said to fucking stick
to your guns and have fun and be smart and
responsible because as much I'm sure you've already started to
see U a little bit, as much as people love
(27:58):
you today, more and more people hate you tomorrow. And
the more people love you, the more people hate you.
Because people love you so people love to see you
succeed in the beginning, but then they fucking love to
tear you down when they feel like you've gotten too
big for your bridges. So my advice that I gave
was just for you to be smart and fucking enjoy yourself.
Speaker 2 (28:18):
So every once in a while she gets a usable
piece of advice, But this doesn't seem to be the
path that she's going to go on now to this day,
it's unclear to me how much of this plan is
of her own volition and how much is being pushed
by the management. But I have my suspicions. I'll share
this quote from your manager, Johnny Forster, when he was
(28:41):
asked if he thought Haley would ever try to get
Hollywood representation.
Speaker 10 (28:45):
She doesn't even really know what that means. No disrespect to.
Speaker 2 (28:49):
That, okay. By mid to late summer, Hailey had an
Instagram audience of over a million people, which makes it
interesting when she starts a Twitter or account sometime later
in the summer, mainly because sorry, I mean, I'm still
on there too, But Hailey's generation is not particularly interested
(29:10):
in Twitter. She literally calls it x no. From what
I can gather, Hailey started her ex account because she
was encouraged to at a massive crypto conference she was
attending as a celebrity guest last summer. Now it's unclear
exactly how this crypto appearance came together, but it appears
(29:32):
the culprit may be Howie Mandel.
Speaker 13 (29:36):
One million dollars is a top prize. No crazy stunts,
no trivia questions. All they have to do is be
able to answer the most important question tonight. And that
question is real or no Deal?
Speaker 2 (29:54):
Like that Howie Mandel, host of Deal or No Deal,
Voice of the Maguai Gizmo, Howie Mandel.
Speaker 5 (30:05):
Has it got a named that?
Speaker 9 (30:06):
Yeah?
Speaker 10 (30:06):
Mog why?
Speaker 5 (30:07):
What mag Why? I don't know some Chinese word. I
just call him gizmo? These ags you like it?
Speaker 13 (30:16):
And then my friend got me onto a movie. I
did this movie called Gremlin Gizmo. Yes, the first little
but it's the same voice, he goes.
Speaker 3 (30:25):
It's the same.
Speaker 2 (30:27):
Stay with me. Hailey Welch appeared on Howie Mandel's podcast
called Howie Mandel Does Stuff where she plays this JOKEI
game where she learns about her ancestry in a bad
ripoff of a much better show on PBS called Finding
Your Roots for Hollow People.
Speaker 5 (30:45):
You should keep that.
Speaker 4 (30:46):
Yeah, I don't trust anybody. It's not just Hollywood people,
it's just anybody.
Speaker 2 (30:49):
Why what happened? I just don't did something happen? I
just don't trust anybo.
Speaker 13 (30:54):
Can Let's ask management, can she hock to you into
the haktua, into the tube away from the microphone?
Speaker 2 (31:01):
And I can't prove that this isn't a coincidence. But
Hailey Welch later links up with Howie Mandel's son in law,
Alex Larsen Schultz aka Doc Hollywood, who is technically a musician,
but for the sake of this sentence, is absolutely a
crypto guy. This brings us to July twenty fourth, when
(31:24):
Doc Hollywood posts a photo of himself. Let's see description,
White guy of indeterminate age, presumably bald, black rimmed glasses,
black T shirt you can tell cost over one hundred
dollars for some reason, black brim hat and he's pointing
at Hailey Welch and Chelsea Bradford while reading Matt Fury
books behind him, saying that meme class is in session
(31:47):
and in case you're not terminally online, Matt Fury's work
is a reference to the fact that he created the
cartoon Frog Pepe, who the right wing and the crypto
lobby have pretty successful stolen as a symbol of their own. So,
while it's unclear whether Don Hollywood introduced Haley Welch to
(32:08):
Howie Mandel or the reverse. If I told you Howie
Mandel's son in law was a prominent villain in this saga,
would you believe me? Because that is the world that
I'm asking you to live in. Because once Dock Hollywood
pops up, as a very thorough timeline from the Ringers,
Katie Baker details, Haley becomes a peculiar fixture in the
(32:31):
blockchain community, a place known for crypto scams, crypto being
something that Haley has also suspiciously never demonstrated an interest
in before. Haley becomes a soft fixture in both the
crypto and the sports gambling space, mainly because the two
are connected via a lot of sketchy gambling, including a
(32:54):
cursed encounter where she met RFK at the Bitcoin twenty
twenty four conference in late July at some event called
Karate Combat. Sure, And it's around this same time that
she starts an x account. And while her personality remains
somewhat consistent across her social media channels, I do need
(33:16):
to note that the content on Haley's X account is
markedly different from what you'd find on her Instagram or
her Snapchat. Instagram and Snapchat for Haley tend to be
more general influencer lifestylely things, her sharing her personality in
a fairly direct way, but her ex personality is marketed
(33:39):
to the crypto AI general chaos tech bro Her early tweets,
I am absolutely certain from when I began researching this
series are from early July twenty twenty four, but appear
to have been since deleted and are impossible to access
via the wayback machine, something I suspect has something to
(34:01):
do with an eventual crypto lawsuit. But I do feel
very confident in saying that Haley's first posts on X
are a series of videos and pictures from a Nashville
bitcoin expo where she agrees to start an X account
at the event. At present, Hailey's first tweet that's publicly
available is from August seventh, but you'll have to take
(34:24):
my word for the fact that that is not true. Regardless,
the Hailey presented on X isn't just a relatable girl
from Nashville. She's a crypto capitalist with a Southern twang,
a very different version of herself, to the point that
she'd occasionally have to remind people that she was running
the account herself, posting front facing videos as evidence it's me, bitch,
(34:49):
What are you fucking mean?
Speaker 4 (34:51):
Hey? Come bractillya mes.
Speaker 2 (34:53):
Me bitches, But most of her here are either promo
for her eventual podcast on fellow cryptobro Jake Paul's sports
betting company platform, or ugly AI generated images of her
onto tech bro meme formats in no particular order, Hailey
(35:16):
as an astronaut, Hailey as the statue of liberty, Hailey
surfing holding a beer in an American flag while wearing
a tuxedo, and her spin on existing meme formats like
the Drake one, waving away traditional news sources then smiling
and pointing at X. She's using dumb catchphrases like grocktua.
(35:40):
This account is clearly courting the Elon Musk lobby on
Elon Musk's platform specifically, and while this alternate Hailey persona
builds on X, she and her management continue to introduce
her to the corner of the hyper successful, ultimately kind
of bigoted and boring video podcast world Whitney Cummings, Bill
(36:03):
Maher and so on, then on Instagram over on her
more normal persona. On August twenty eighth, Hailey launches the
one initiative It seems like she actually would have cared
about three months earlier a nonprofit called Pause Across America.
Speaker 4 (36:21):
Today, I'm happy to announce a launch of My Paws
Across America fun. Our mission is to bring awareness, advocacy,
and financial assistance to animal charities within the United States.
I'm starting in my hometown shelter and it went a
little something like this sprit pickout and we're gonna getting
some supplies. So the first thing on my list is
Lacy's and callers.
Speaker 2 (36:38):
She calls this initiative her life's mission, and I honestly
believe her. Her love of her friends, family, and pets
are the only ostensible consistence across this story. Now, it
as for what the nonprofit does, very hard to say.
Their URL is registered under Haley's LLC sixteen minutes, and
(37:02):
we know she reportedly donated a half a million dollars
of her own money and partnered with the Community Foundation
of Tennessee to get the nonprofits started. But what we
don't know is how much this charity made or what
they really did. But they are accepting donations to this day.
Don't donate there, but at the time the nonprofit was announced,
(37:25):
Haley said.
Speaker 1 (37:26):
Ever since my life churned so publicly, I realized there
had to be a reason for it, said Haley Walsh.
Growing up, the one constant in my life was my pets,
and they helped me get through so much. By starting
Haley Walsh's pause across America, my new found financial blessings
will be shared with the animals that need it most.
Speaker 2 (37:44):
And at the time this got Haley a fair amount
of goodwill. Here she is acknowledging that her fame materialized
out of kind of nowhere, as much of the media
surrounding her had indicated, and that she wanted to do
something productive with it. The management machine that she had
brought on to protect and expand her influence continued to
(38:05):
work behind the scenes. The next day, Haley's ex account
was back posting memes, this time with Haley's face on
a crypto coin, and three days later, she and Chelsea
are at the Celebrity Poker Tournament, which, to no one's surprise,
was her first poker game, and she appeared to have
no previous interest in it. In my opinion, clearly the
(38:29):
management has a mission here, but before we can get there, Yes,
It's time to talk Talk to whose trailer launched on
September two, twenty twenty four.
Speaker 5 (38:45):
She's literally doing anything to stay round.
Speaker 2 (38:47):
Does anyone actually give a fuck about her? Why are
we keeping this goal relevant?
Speaker 3 (38:50):
Your fifteen minutes are up?
Speaker 2 (38:52):
Your joke was funny for two days. Stop y'all really
thought I was done.
Speaker 9 (38:56):
I'm just getting.
Speaker 4 (38:57):
Started, baby.
Speaker 2 (38:58):
Incidentally, all of the clips of podcast conversations that follow
in this trailer are never actually aired, as is referenced
on the podcast months later by Jake Paul himself. It
appears that the entire first round of interviews conducted were
never aired due to being weird, stilted, or combative on
(39:19):
the part of the guests, meaning Jake Paul. In the trailer,
the conversations are with z internet appealing guests talking to
Haley outside with a campfire, while the eventual show happens
in a more conventional studio setting with the obligatory fluorescent
sign that says talk to U. But even if none
of this footage ever ends up airing, the trailer effectively
(39:41):
teases the idea of the podcast it appears on Jake
Paul's network. It features real conversations with the coolest guests,
and it teases what becomes a running, if uninteresting question
throughout the show's run. Who is hooky? I'll spoil that
for you, poog. The key is Hailey's on again, off
(40:01):
again boyfriend, who is a seemingly nice plumber from her
hometown named Kelby. He's around her age. She seems fine.
But don't let this deter you from the podcast message,
which is essentially who's booking?
Speaker 4 (40:15):
He might stop that too, Subscribe it that day.
Speaker 2 (40:22):
The announcement for the podcast in the Hollywood Reporter read
as follows.
Speaker 10 (40:27):
Welch is set to host the podcast Talk Toua as
part of the Better Banner, with the first episode debuting
September tenth on social, digital and audio platforms. The weekly
podcast will see Welch showcasing her comedic style and Southern
charm through a blend of interviews, lively discussions, and humorous moments.
Speaker 2 (40:48):
So if you listen to the sixteenth minute Manisphere series,
this might sound a little familiar. The just having Funny
Conversations formula is very similar to all the most successful
right leaning podcasts that populate the man of Spere every day.
But at this point, Hailey was a mainstream figure, so
(41:09):
most reactions to the announcement of Talk to were either
tongue in cheek finally, or the more boring, lamenting that
the podcast signified the end of the world, as every
Haley Welch news development seemed to tease out. At the time,
the audience was barstool conservatives. But as I said in
our first part, I still firmly believe that I am
(41:31):
the only person who have ever truly watched every single
episode of Talk to A But before we delve into
my psychosis, what's more interesting than the actual content of
the podcast is the way that Haley and her management
go in terms of aligning her with Jake Paul, the one,
(41:52):
the only, the unfortunate. More on that motherfucker when we
come back. Welcome back to sixteenth minute, and we are
(42:16):
at a critical point in Hailey Welch's social media career
where she puts her trust in one of the worst
men on the planet and his brother, who is a
close second. You can really put either brother in either position.
Logan and Jake Paul are an entity unto themselves, but
the brothers became famous online when they were even younger
(42:37):
than Haley, blowing up on vine in the mid twenty
ten's in Ohio. They started posting regularly when Logan was
twelve and Jake was ten. Here's Logan's first YouTube video,
Can I Have a Drink?
Speaker 11 (42:51):
The What's that called?
Speaker 9 (42:54):
Again?
Speaker 2 (42:55):
Already obnoxious, but the Paul brothers have run the gamut
of what internets access can look like pretty cleanly, straddling
second generation Internet pre COVID to remind you of what
that playbook was like. This was all about moving to La,
becoming daily vloggers and prank YouTubers, and being at the
very front of the hype house trend.
Speaker 9 (43:17):
Back up.
Speaker 14 (43:18):
Wow, I never thought I would say this, Well, welcome
home Jake Powler's We Made It mob We Flipped Made It.
Good morning, Jake Polish, what flippant go change? Today is
off to a flipping amazing start. We're moving into the
new Team ten house. We already got the flipping car
part in the driveway. I mean, come on, it's official.
Speaker 2 (43:38):
Maybe still the most famous high posts to this day.
Jake Paul's Team ten was omnipotent online in the mid
to late twenty tens, but for the brothers, tasering two
dead rats and getting demonetized on YouTube later, as well
as both having terrible, botched rap careers that were mostly
just plugs for merch. Here's one of Logan's worst and
(44:00):
I heard.
Speaker 3 (44:01):
You from the North, but I'm from Ohio.
Speaker 10 (44:03):
Christmas round the corner.
Speaker 14 (44:04):
Get your merch thinking biou you Marrie, Yeah boy, I'm
the maty.
Speaker 5 (44:10):
Why you freely zart.
Speaker 2 (44:12):
The brothers found that they had to continue pivoting because
they were getting canceled intermittently for truly horrific stuff. At
age twenty three, older than Haley Welch is right now
and well into his internet fame, Logan Paul famously made
content in the quote unquote Japanese suicide forest for clickbait,
(44:33):
hosting videos of recently deceased bodies while joking and making
YouTube thumbnail face about it. Not only is this truly disgusting,
but keep in mind that the audience for the Paul
Brothers at the time were overwhelmingly children, and by extension,
this put Logan Paul at the forefront of the disingenuous
(44:53):
YouTube apology format. I've made a severe and continuous lapse
in my judgment and I don't expect to be forgiven.
I'm simply here to apologize, but Jake and Logan persisted
cleanly into Web three point zero, the post COVID era,
defined by long, meandering YouTube podcast with conspiracy theorists pivoting
(45:16):
to boxing, an NFT scam called crypto Zoo that, from
what I can tell, sold NFTs of zoo, animal stock images,
military defense startups, abandoning their pet pigs, going full Trump,
and donating five figures to his twenty twenty four fundraising efforts,
interviewing Trump and solidifying the Paul's place in the New
(45:38):
manisphere of late twenty twenty four.
Speaker 3 (45:41):
Give a fight, you brother, not in real life.
Speaker 5 (45:43):
You've practiced a little bit.
Speaker 11 (45:44):
Never We've never even sparred, but I was willing to
step in from Mike Tyson when Tyson got sick, and
we actually ran it up the chain in that foot.
Speaker 3 (45:50):
It's hard for brothers to fight, though, well.
Speaker 10 (45:52):
Me and Jake decided we both come from a place
of love.
Speaker 2 (45:55):
That was Logan and in Jake's case, pertinently to this story,
a sports betting app called Better, which eventually brought on
some podcasts to basically promote the app. And that's thankfully
all you need to know about the Paul Brothers for
the purposes of this show, but keep in mind what
the Paul Brothers have in common with Haley Welch. They
(46:18):
became famous at random online, but they, unlike her, are
made of teflon. The more they're canceled, the further right
and audience they court, which is pretty normal practice at
this point. But I do think the fact that their
men makes it a lot easier for them to keep
bouncing back, because white guys are the people we're conditioned
(46:40):
to give redemption. Arcs two and I know a lot
of that sounded vague and didn't attribute things to one
brother or the other, but to be honest, I'm not
paid enough to tell them apart. But having done all
this stuff and still remaining successful enough for the recent
Jake Paul versus Mike Tyson, a convicted rapist Netflix boxing match,
(47:00):
to become one of the most successful stream sports events ever,
it's bleak. The Polls have found a lot of success
doing whatever the most annoying profitable thing to do is
in any given online moment, and as much as I
hate to hand it to them, they've pioneered a lot
of annoying scammy trends over the last decade, and it's
(47:22):
the younger Paul Jake, who founded the Better app and
bravely fought that convicted rapist two and a half times
his age on the world's largest streaming platform, who ends
up seeing an opportunity in Haley Welch enter talk to A.
But it almost wasn't called talk to A. Check this out.
Speaker 7 (47:43):
So it's a really good name for the podcast. I was,
I was very right there a girl.
Speaker 3 (47:48):
It's really good.
Speaker 11 (47:48):
I do.
Speaker 3 (47:49):
Look a few different ones like what else do you?
Was you get me?
Speaker 4 (47:53):
And then there was this one. What was the other one?
Sweet tea sixteen minutes, A little smarter, it's like.
Speaker 2 (48:03):
But you might remember. People were frustrated to see Haley
expand her influence, some because she was trying to capitalize
on the attention, and in my case, because aligning yourself
with the Paul Brothers is a bad sign. Not a
surprising call, to be clear, because the appearances that Haley
had made thus far fell somewhere between center libertarian right.
(48:27):
So people freaked out about cancel culture and making dick
jokes as a full time job well into their forties.
But what's interesting is that many of these appearances and
early guests are pretty even split of people who are
either ten or more years older than Haley is or
people currently employed by Barstool Sports, so it is clear
(48:49):
what media group she's falling into, and it's a lucrative
group of people. And while some of them are mainstream names,
most are niche popular or got their start on the
Internet and seem to have been chosen to pull in
a wider audience for Hayley, from younger guests like Jojo
Siwa and country singer Dasha to high profile comedians like
(49:12):
Hannah Burner and Whitney Cummings to more popular, center to
conservative podcast hosts like Brooks Schofield, Caitlin Bristow and Breonna
Chicken fry De, Teke Adjason Bros. And business bros like
Jake Paul Whiz Khalifa and I'm not kidding Mark Hubin.
That man will talk to fucking anyone. So as the
(49:34):
talk to a historian du jour, I'm convinced what happens
on this show that's worth discussing because most of the
comments on the YouTube releases of the podcast, which peak
at two point seven million views on the debut episode
and reach their low at around a quarter million views,
as well as charting on conventional podcast charts. Most commenters
(49:56):
don't appear to be watching the show.
Speaker 10 (50:01):
I'm a forty one year old surgeon mid operation. I
got an important message that the Talk toua podcast was released.
I dropped everything and rushed home immediately. Thank you for
saving my life.
Speaker 8 (50:12):
Talk Tua currently fighting on the frontlines in Ukraine and
everyone has called truce to watch episode one of the
Talk Tua podcast. Amen.
Speaker 10 (50:22):
I was in the middle of driving a school bus
full of kids on the highway when I got this notification.
I jumped out of the bus, causing a nineteen cop
pile up, just to run home and watch this podcast.
Thank you, missus, Talktua. You are truly inspiration.
Speaker 2 (50:39):
So what happens when you do listen to the show.
Here's a short tour In episode one with Whitney Cummings,
we learned that the podcast is being recorded in la
as well as are introduced to the people who Haley
is surrounded by more or less constantly. There is, of
course Chelsea, who serves as a coh who they cut
(51:01):
to every once in a while. Also her manager Jamie,
who seems like a real piece of work and seemingly
a publicist from time to time. During episode one, Haley
talks about how she recently has taken her first flank
ever from Nashville to LA and holds her own pretty well,
although Whitney Cummings is pretty generous and encouraging about making
sure the conversation keeps moving, and there's a bone chilling
(51:25):
pattern established for this first time host, the transition from
being a spirited conversation with other people who a dead
eyed reading of an ad for Jake Paul's shitty sports
betting app but.
Speaker 3 (51:37):
Like, so that's something that is such a breath of
fresh air about you. It is you know, I agree.
Speaker 4 (51:42):
So I'm gonna be real with y'all. I was never
the biggest football fan. I honestly don't even get the
rules that much. But what I do know is I
like Kevin fun and winning money and better picks. Lets
you went up to a thousand times your money.
Speaker 2 (51:52):
These interruptions get increasingly weird as the show continues, but
the only other thing really worth mentioning here is that
Whitney Cummings gives Hayle the following misleading reassurance at the
end of her appearance.
Speaker 11 (52:04):
So, no, I'm proud of the people you've surrounded yourself with,
because that makes or breaks you mentally, financially says everything.
Speaker 3 (52:12):
So you have amazing taste in humans.
Speaker 2 (52:15):
Whoops. Pass forward to episode three with Caitlin Bristow, where
Haley shares the following terrifying prophetic dream.
Speaker 4 (52:23):
So, I actually had a dream about Matt Rife a
few weeks ago, and it like traumatized me a little bit.
This man he come out, He's like, just give me
a minute, you know, I'll be right back.
Speaker 2 (52:30):
I was like, oh, okay.
Speaker 4 (52:31):
He comes back and he's like looking at me off
of weirds. I was like, okay, I need to get
away from him. I start running from him and hide
in this closet and there's a bunch of dead girls
in this closet and I get in it.
Speaker 2 (52:41):
He still killed, you.
Speaker 3 (52:42):
Know, I'm like, what the fuck?
Speaker 4 (52:44):
He opens the door and finds me, and I like
dart in between his legs and run out and then
I'm in a cornfield somehow, and then he runs out
with an axe and starts like cutting on my ankle.
Speaker 2 (52:53):
Oh my god. Episode four, Haley's asked by guest Dasha
about her mental health whatever.
Speaker 4 (53:00):
Sometimes yeah, okay, if you read like some main shit
like on an off day, you're like, damn.
Speaker 2 (53:04):
Yeah, what if they're right?
Speaker 1 (53:05):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (53:06):
Episode five, Haley acknowledges her fucked up in traumatic childhood.
You had like a crazy childhood.
Speaker 4 (53:12):
I had a very fucked up childhood.
Speaker 3 (53:14):
Really?
Speaker 4 (53:15):
Yeah, damn, I'm a granny baby. Was that like like
my granny raised me?
Speaker 9 (53:19):
Oh wait, same as my girlfriend?
Speaker 2 (53:22):
Episode seven, the five million teaser of who is Pooky
turns into yet another sports gambling ad.
Speaker 4 (53:30):
All right, child big Announcement's time for their revel And
now I'm not talking about Pooky, and I'm talking about
the best offer for this NBA season. In honor of
basketball being bat all new and existing users will get
a deposit match on better picks.
Speaker 2 (53:43):
Now Chelsea is in the ads as well, but she
doesn't really say anything. She just stares vacantly into the
middle distance. And it's around this part of the show
where guests will regularly quiz Haley on things she doesn't know,
making her look charmingly uninformed for not knowing who figure
like Plato and Socrates are. For all of its silliness,
(54:04):
it's pretty dull, but as talked to a chugs along.
Haley reaches a few more benchmarks of cultural relevance, including
the classic weird ASNL reference, come to.
Speaker 13 (54:15):
Me, today's celebrity contestants, We've got the viral sensation of
the summer, the somehow famous for one sentence, Hailey.
Speaker 5 (54:21):
Welch huh tooy spit on that side?
Speaker 2 (54:27):
That's the one yep in late September, and she made
more inroads with the conservative tech community by joining Kick
in early October, Kick being the streaming platform where most
people go after they've been kicked off of Twitch for
saying a slur. On Kick, she live streams her appearance
at a gamer conference. Gaily also makes repeated attempts on
(54:50):
X to meet Michael Saylor, a bitcoin billionaire who, of
course has been to court for tax fraud. On X,
she repeatedly tries to saddle up to eat La Musk,
hosting a number of AI photoshops as that scary Tesla robot,
as well as advocating to free Ross Ulbricht, who's currently
serving a life sentence for running the darknet monolith Silk Road.
(55:13):
While Haley never advocates for Trump explicitly, the way she's
saddled up to mostly his supporters, gives you an idea
of the audience she's interested in. On October ninth, mister Beast,
a tremendously successful YouTuber who recently got engaged to try
to distract from his ongoing reputation troubles, rented out an
entire movie theater to watch Talk Tua on the big screen,
(55:37):
captioning it as follows.
Speaker 10 (55:39):
Pov you rent a theater to watch Talk Tua, listen
to the thick of It by KSI, and eat Lunchley, which.
Speaker 2 (55:46):
In case you have a life, is a canceled YouTuber
named mister Beast watching a crypto fraud flash in the
Pan Influencer's podcast Haley Welch while listening to rapper Slash
Logan Paul's best friend Slash co business owner ks I
while eating Lunchly. Lunchley is, or maybe it was at
this point I just checked is a lunchables competitor founded
(56:10):
by Ksi, Logan, Paul and mister Beast that famously has
a lot of disgusting mold in it. Anyways, nice plug
for talk to by mister Beast. Of course, the reason
mister Beast did that was synergy Lunchley is a Paul
endeavor and Hailey is an employee of the Paul family,
(56:33):
and that synergy goes both ways. Once the Jake Paul
versus Mike Tyson fight is announced on Netflix, Haley and
Chelsea constantly joke about it, mentioned that they're attending, encourage
others to watch, and jokingly pretend to be rooting for
convicted rapist Mike Tyson. We have to keep moving. Episode nine,
released a week before the twenty twenty four election. This
(56:57):
ad appears, Chelsea, us, what what is it this time?
Speaker 4 (57:01):
Did you know you can bet on the election.
Speaker 8 (57:03):
Like you can bet on who's going to be president.
Speaker 2 (57:05):
Yeah, it's this new app called Koushi.
Speaker 8 (57:07):
No way, I gotta see this for myself.
Speaker 4 (57:10):
Oh my gosh, you can bet on different events too.
Speaker 2 (57:12):
No way, I've got to see it for myself. Episode ten,
Jake Paul appears ahead of his dumb ass Netflix fight
and goes full Trump.
Speaker 15 (57:21):
Then there still be the hate of oh, fight someone
your own age, because people are brain dead, actually, and
they don't look at the actual facts, which is probably
why a lot of people are voting for Kamala Harris.
But it's a sad world out there.
Speaker 2 (57:37):
In this episode, Hayley's boyfriend Pooky aka Kelby, is revealed
and immediately starts doing a sports gambling ad with her.
Speaker 4 (57:46):
Pooky, I got a surprise for you.
Speaker 2 (57:49):
Nothing you do surprises me anymore.
Speaker 4 (57:51):
Game times hooking us up. We're gonna be able to
get some good tickets here. You pick pick your top
three and then I'll pick out of those.
Speaker 15 (57:57):
Can it be a game a concert?
Speaker 5 (57:59):
I can choose anything?
Speaker 9 (58:00):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (58:01):
And speaking of Pooky, the day after he appears on
Talk Toua, Hailey and her team launch her first and
possibly her last, app, called Pooky Tools. Why Not I've
downloaded the app, but refused to pay to use it,
(58:22):
although most reviews indicate that while it markets itself as
a dating app, it mainly seems to be an AI
tool that tells you how tall someone is when you
point your phone at it, and much like the podcast,
it's unclear if anyone has ever actually used Pooky Tools,
because all of the reviews on the app store seemed
to be jokes, such as where do I begin?
Speaker 10 (58:47):
This app has absolutely ruined my life. I can't believe
Hailey Welch, the creator of Talk Tua, would do this
to me I now have a court here for domestic
violence charges against me and drunk driving, which both didn't happen.
I thought this app would help me get all the
(59:07):
huzz but I did not. I am very disappointed Hailey Welch,
but I do love talk to him.
Speaker 2 (59:15):
Don't worry. The jokes become increasingly sexually violent as you scroll.
Episode eleven is whiz Khalifa promoting his bespoke weed brand.
Episode twelve is Mark Cuban, who both talks to Chelsea
and Pooky about how Haley takes massive shits and more
interestingly explicitly warrens Haley Welch not to go into crypto.
(59:39):
Check out this transition in this episode. I kind of
love it.
Speaker 12 (59:42):
Man.
Speaker 4 (59:43):
It's rough out.
Speaker 5 (59:44):
Here, It is really rough out here. But I have
no found respect for you.
Speaker 9 (59:48):
Hailey.
Speaker 3 (59:48):
Thank you, right, thank you the win.
Speaker 2 (59:53):
Do you do anything with crypto?
Speaker 3 (59:54):
I do a lot with crypto?
Speaker 2 (59:55):
Actually, Okay, let's hear the rest of the clip.
Speaker 4 (59:57):
Oh yeah, and can I give you some Yeah?
Speaker 9 (01:00:01):
I'll you Okay, are you sure you're gonna watch? I
don't know.
Speaker 3 (01:00:05):
I'm not a big a fan about meme coins. I
love crypto, but but you could make some money from it.
Speaker 11 (01:00:09):
There's no doubt about it, no doubt about it.
Speaker 2 (01:00:11):
So a weird, cautious endorsement where a Cuban is basically like, yeah,
meme coins are a scam, but you could make money
off of it, sure enough. And on the final episode
of Talk to A Thus Far, episode twelve titled How
Not to Get Canceled, released on December third. It's not
(01:00:33):
a great episode, but it might be the final episode
of Talk to A we ever get because it was
released just one day before Haley Welch's meme coin dropped
and very possibly vaporized her career altogether. Talk to A
(01:00:56):
falls so a crypto scam can emerge, and that's next
time on our final part of the hawk Tuit trilogy
on sixteenth Minute. Sixteenth Minute is a production of Pool
Zone Media and iHeart Radio. It is written, posted, and
(01:01:16):
produced by me Jamie Rostis. Our executive producers are Sophie
Lickterman and Robert Evans leamasing Ian Johnson is our supervising
producer and our editor.
Speaker 5 (01:01:26):
Our theme song.
Speaker 2 (01:01:27):
Is by Sad thirteen. Voice acting is from Grant Crater
and pet Shout outs to our dog producer Anderson My
Kat's flea Casper, and by pet Rothbert, who will outlive
us all Bye.
Host
Jamie Loftus
Popular Podcasts
40s and Free Agents: NFL Draft Season
Daniel Jeremiah of Move the Sticks and Gregg Rosenthal of NFL Daily join forces to break down every team's needs this offseason.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
The Bobby Bones Show
Listen to 'The Bobby Bones Show' by downloading the daily full replay.