May 17, 2023 • 52 mins
This week, Will welcomes the hilarious Corrbette Pasko, a Chicago-based actor and playwright. Corrbette shares wild and hilarious stories about her time working for the CTA, Chicago's public transportation system. Brace yourself for outrageous encounters, quirky passengers, and rush hour madness. Don't miss out on any Corrbette content—follow her on Instagram and TikTok for more singing/writing/V.O./swearing and all around comedic brilliance.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
There's a meat cute in this story.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
There's actually a meet cute. It's much later, you know, Like,
just imagine a meet cute that smells like pea.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
So. I recently got back from a trip to Japan,
and there are so many beautiful aspects of Japanese culture,
from the incredible food, to the history, the artistry and
attention to detail, and every aspect of life. But the
thing that I found most surprising and satisfying was the
public transportation. Now, the subway stations, first of all, have
(00:53):
amazing gourmet food. I mean, subway sushi in Japan is
better than most four star sushi restaurants in LA And
the stations and the trains are pristine, they are sparkling.
There's not a piece of trash in sight. And then
once you're on the subway, it's silent. No one is
(01:14):
talking on their phone. No one is talking period. Even
when you're crammed in there like sardines, all you hear
is the Nintendos jingles that play to indicate that the
doors are closing and the train is leaving. Is beautiful,
kind of different than our public train system here in
the United States. I mean, I live in Los Angeles.
So I can't even really talk. I mean, our subway
(01:35):
is not even a subway, it's above ground and it
basically just takes you downtown if that's where you want
to go. So I'm not exactly an expert, but enter
my friend Corbett Pasco. Corbett is an actor, writer and
professional swear who you may know is the unofficial gen
X representative on TikTok. She also has a lot of
experience with the CTA, also known as the Chicago Transit Authority,
(01:57):
and she's got the stories to prove it. I'm will
mind the Gap McFadden. And this is hashtag story time,
brought to you by iHeartRadio.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
So I was working downtown in the Loop in Chicago,
and I you know, I took public transit together there
because that's I have now relocated to California in the
last year. Well, I still don't thank you very much.
I still don't drive. That's difficult, Yeah it does.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
You know La is notorious for like you drive to
the neighbor's house.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
Yeah, oh no, it's it's worse. I'm in Sacramento, so,
I mean there's nothing, there's there's it looks people look
at you funny when you're walking. So I have a car,
I just I don't drive it well, so my husband
does that. But anyway, so taking public to get to work,
and I'm coming home on the on the Brown Line,
which kind of you know, goes around the loop, and
there are several passengers if you're going to transfer at
(02:52):
any point, so it does a crowded train at rush
hour coming home. So I realized this is about ninety
six seven.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
Okay, okay.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
So I'm young, and I'm you know, in my little
professional day job before going to my little theater evening career,
and and everyone's packing on and there is a woman
in a in a dirty coat, a winter coat, and
that's you know, and she and she's shuffling along and
(03:22):
she seems elderly, and I'm trying to see if she
needs any assistance, but she seems to have it under control.
She's got a luggage cart that has a giant Hinkley
and Schmidt type water bottle, like the big old office bottles,
that's empty except for some change at the bottom. And
she's got that strap to her luggage cart and she's wheeling.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
It on sort of like a five gallon sparklet style thing, okay.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Exactly, And I'm like, okay, she seems all right. I
think she's got it. So okay, so she gets on
the train and we all get on the train. Now
there's a button that was at that time more recently
installed on the train where you can push it to
talk to the conductor, but it also goes to the
entire train.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Okay, okay's megaphone button's mm hmmm. Seems like that wasn't
well thought out.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
No, it was a it was a bad choice. It
was that that really just should go right to the conductor,
maybe skip everybody else in between. And I think she
she knew somehow, she knew exactly where she was going.
So she got onto the train and we're all packed
in like sardines, and this tiny woman just leans into
the button and goes and I'm please know I am
not exaggerating this voice, because this is what the entire
(04:24):
train heard. At last, Christ is dead and Satan can rule,
And the entire train just looks at each other like,
oh fun. Oh no. So now you're trying to do
(04:46):
the thing where you're like, do I pretend she's invisible?
Or do I do I ask some questions? Do I
just keep my head down, so I'm I'm.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
My this is before you know earbuds. You know, you
could no phone.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
I can stare at.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
Yeah, exactly. You just have to stare at your shoes
or like awkwardly make brisk eye contact with your with
your neighbors.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Yep, and just like maybe as a plea for help,
and they're like, can I help.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
You maybe anything? Really lean into a book or a magazine.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
If you can reach it. Because I'm standing at this point,
I'm like, I can't get to that, okay. And I
can see her in the reflection of the the train
door in between cars, so I'm holding out of the
pole and I can see her just just behind my arm,
and then out of the corner of my vision, I
see her hand and I look down and she is
reaching for like a funian's bag that had fallen to
(05:35):
the ground and her and her fingers are just like
kind of witchily reaching for it. And I'm just gonna
let her be right. I'm just like, okay, not gonna
And then she stands up and she's like, fine, don't
help me, you fuck, And I was like, and then
she proceeds to sing a song about what a horror
I am to the entire train. I'm like, but I didn't. Okay, uh,
(05:59):
and you know we're all just and again I'm checking
her reflection to see if, like, is she going to
jump up and latch onto my arm like in a
bite hold? Should I rip? You know? Like just looking
like all right? And then she The historic event was
the Clinton Lewency Lewinsky scandal. Right, okay, this is like
(06:20):
early Internet when I remember working in this office as
people are reading the report and thinking, I shouldn't.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
Know any of this? Why do I public?
Speaker 2 (06:31):
I shouldn't None of us should know this. This feels
like we're going down a bad path here, man, too
much information here we are twenty twenty two. No, so
all that was very much on the public consciousness, including
our friend here who decided to educate all of us
and say, do you know why the bitch squealed? And
(06:56):
I'm not again that was her actual like Broomhilda s
or which Hazel esque if you want to go looney
Tunes about it.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
I'm picturing that she was like on her way to
a production of Into the Woods.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
You'd think, you know, right, it's just an.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
Fol costume and makeup, hair and in character on the
way to you know, to like the premiere of Into
the Woods, which I feel like, what is just coming
out at that time?
Speaker 2 (07:23):
Yes, singing children will listen in her puppy goat, and
you know, of course no one's like, no, why did
they why? I don't know why? And she finally said,
because Clinton was a lousy fuck and that's why the
bitch squealed.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
Oh my god. I mean, if this woman had a
TikTok account now, I feel like she would, she'd be
crushing it.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
She absolutely would. She'd have sponsor. She'd be like trying
on those magnetic pear glasses.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
And you're getting a lot of those ads right now.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
Yes, same, and some of them like I know that person.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
She should be like, you know this disco stick eye rolling,
that's the one I get a lot. I guess that's
what I need in my life. Is like men's men's
under I you know, it's like, hey, it's cool if
you're a bro and you like you need a little
under eye care, Like I'm.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
All right, man, we're gonna call it a disco stick
so you don't feel emasculated.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
Exactly, just to keep this disco stick in my truck
and then like you know, a store.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
Right under my my naked lady mudflaps.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
Right when I'm going hunting, like before a hunt, I
always just like touch up my under ruck.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
I don't need the dudes thinking I didn't sleep well
last night like I should right hill though, So she
got off at Sedgwick, which she called Hell's Maker. Ah,
Hell's Maker, and then got off and then spat upon
the train as it pulls away.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
Oh my god. She is just she is a ten
at all times.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
All the time, like there's no there's no relaxation that
woman does not.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
So aggressive in every decision to making els maker. It's
like train I recently saw. I went to the Sinespia,
which is like in the cemetery movie thing in Los Angeles,
and we saw we watch Showgirls and and Elizabeth Berkeley's
performance in Showgirls is she is so aggressive in every
(09:23):
move that she does everything. It's so aggressive, and I
feel like this woman is at the same level. Maybe
it is Elizabeth Berkeley. She was studying for a role
in Into the Wands.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
You know what I'm now that I'm thinking about it,
that very well could be. I mean, Elizabeth Berkeley is
like dancing at you, right, and this woman is kind
of living at you.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
Yeah, exactly, spitting at you.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
Spitting at you. Also not the first time I've been
spinning either in the city. Just just charming, just so charming.
I was like, is this is this payback for when
I was the obnoxious art school kid who was singing
harmonies of my original song with my friends on the
train in the way you know it was fifteen.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
Absolutely, this is carm.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
Fuck you for making us little than of that. Here's
this lady now aside from you know her, the dude
also telling me that I could talk all day because
my lady bits probably didn't smell good either, or the
preacher lady who told everyone that she was not going
(10:24):
to shut up because she was personally Gabriel's horn.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
Also great.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
The CTA also did, however, give me my husband. That
is where I met my husband on the disgusting red line.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
Oh there's a meat cute in this story.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
There's actually a meet cute. It's much later, you know, like,
just imagine a meat cute that smells like pee.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
Yeah right, you know, some of this that happens sometimes has.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
A bottle of night train rolling around on it when
you didn't think anyone saw that anymore. And yet here
it is empty at six am. I uh, I had
passed him one other time, his Staarbucks mine. There was
a good morning, good morning. It was again it was
early two thousands. It was exciting to have a Starbucks
(11:18):
open up in your neighborhood. You were like, oh, I
can have Coffeeoh like a vanilla solatte. Gross passed me.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
Shut up and drink your coffee.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
Because before this, my favorite coffee shop was, you know,
one you could smoke in and a very wonderful, bitter
old man would pour me regular or decaff and that's
all he had.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
Yeah, it's Joe's coffee, cup of Joe.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
That's right. And snacks that he bought at the jewel
that day. I have cake today. Thank you, Don up
selling Don's Coffee Club. Amazing place. But uh so there
was a good morning, good morning, and I thought was like,
there's a cupe by in my neighborhood. That's neat. That
was pretty much the last I thought of that. And
(12:05):
uh and so I got on the train and I'm
I'm reading my books. See this time, I'm prepared. I
now have a book to shove my face into just
in case. Uh, And I and I look up and
I and I see the cute guy and and we're
doing there. I know it's a podcast. I have to
figure out an audio. Weaight to do the looking up
and smirking and looking down and looking up and you know,
(12:30):
trying not to be a complete asshole about it, but
you know you're looking up and blink and it's cute.
Yea And he no, that was the second time. Okay,
so no, So we're doing the we're doing the googly
I thing. And I had a transfer at Belmont. I
knocked into a guy on my way out because I
was looking at him. So that was super smooth. I
felt real good about that. I was like, I am
(12:54):
good job, okay, so uh and then I started doing
I used to do my make up on the train.
I was one of those people that I learned later
was a type of person that people did.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
Not like it with the harmonizing and oh god.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
I mean what, Dick, just let me read the train lady.
Why But I mean, I'm full eyeliner, like I got
a whole like I got a whole thing going like.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
I mean, that's impressive though eyeliner on. There's a lot
of movement on a trade, you know, I know, I know.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
I could also sleep until I dreamt and not miss
my stop. I mean, I had this down.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
I'm wow.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
However, if I start with the window too long, totally
missed my stop and I'm going to be late. But
you know I could do a full face of makeup
and have a catnap. I just can't normal people right, right, right,
So I'm not going to do a guy my way.
I start doing my makeup at home just in case
I run into Kukai again.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
Yeah, and it's.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
Right, you know, I can't. I can't be caught off guard.
I I did see him again a couple of weeks later.
It was a little while, and in this time we're
both standing and he will not look at me. He refuses,
he's looking down. He's avoiding me at all costs, and
so my brain just starts to pick him apart. Fine, whatever, whatever,
(14:12):
I need you with your two arms, in your hair,
don't care.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
Got your face, your shoes, your regular shoes.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
Just regular normal people shoes. I thought you were special,
because you're not, so whatever, don't look at me. Fine, fine,
in fact, I'm gonna be upset if you do.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
Let me check didn't look at me ever. Again.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
I would prefer it if we never made eyes at
each other, and I would tell you that. But I'm
not going to speak to you. So I start to
get off at Belmont again because this guy, yeah, and
uh my brain actually started to yell at me like, hey, hey,
you dumb bitch. I don't know if you have noticed,
but that whatever that was that happened back there, that
(14:55):
doesn't happen. It doesn't happen. This train is disgusting, and
that awesome thing happened to you, and don't leave. So
I let the crowd push me into him, and I
put my bag down on his foot. That's like, I
just gasped a little bit, like one of the balsiest
things I've every good. I'm like, oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1 (15:17):
Did I crush your toe a little bit? And like
keep my bag and so my bad.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
Yeps. So you know, we start talking because I've made
us talk now, and I was terrified that if we
started talking it would ruin everything. You know, start talking
about hunting and yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:37):
Well my name's Herman, and you know, okay, where did that,
or he would be like, you know, Jesus is dead
and right now, oh shit, it's you.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
Just pulls off the mask.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
I knew it. How did you get along?
Speaker 2 (15:56):
Cond so you're very good at masks? How did you
get taller.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
Platform?
Speaker 2 (16:05):
Stilty?
Speaker 1 (16:08):
Give me them funnions?
Speaker 2 (16:10):
Damn it?
Speaker 1 (16:11):
It was all for the funds.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
Jesus here, so you know. And he was he was
reading Twelfth Night, which you know, and I was in
a show with the guy, the guy who played my
husband in that show was also He's like, well, I'm
auditioning for him, Like so is this guy I'm in
a show with. And they wound up in it together.
And you know, he lived around the corner and he
(16:33):
worked where I used to, and well in the building.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
Where was he a malvolio or wash?
Speaker 2 (16:41):
He was? No, that was midsummer when he was who
he was? Oh my god, Oh no, isn't it. Nope,
that's is in midsommer summer. No, he was in midsommer.
He was yus and he was lying.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
I also played Snug the Joiner.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
Fantastic, of course you did. I love that story, you ladies.
Speaker 1 (17:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
No, he's in a therapy session right now. It's probably
really not a good idea for me to be like, hey,
who were you.
Speaker 1 (17:10):
Twelve n and twelve? Sir Anthony?
Speaker 2 (17:13):
I think maybe you know that was the guy who
I who played my husband was any damn it? All right,
I'll have to ask him, like he was really good.
And that was another thing, is like, you know, we
had just started dating and I had to go see
him act. Yeah, and in Shakespeare. I'm like, please don't suck.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
I know. Yeah, that's always that's always the risk where
it's like my girlfriend, she's an artist, and when she
first showed me or I was like, oh, I hope
this isn't terrible. And then I was like, oh, you're
super good, You're super talented. Yep.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
I was like, because I can't keep dating you, because
I can't keep lying to you. I can't I can't
encourage you to do something that you're very bad at.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
Right, Yeah, I can't live that life.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
No, So fortunate I didn't have to, but so yeah,
so we we got to talking about that, you know,
and I immediately called my friend who worked at DDB
with him, and I'm like, I need you to find
out about this person. He's like that guy everyone keeps
confusing me for that guy because we're both tall.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
And that's it.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
So that all you got, how you.
Speaker 1 (18:09):
Have on him?
Speaker 2 (18:10):
Okay? So yeah, then we went on our first date
December fifteenth, two thousand and two. Okay, yeah, so we're
coming up on twenty years now, so that yeah from
the red light?
Speaker 1 (18:23):
Oh my god? And who asked? Did you ask him?
How did the date come? Like? How did you pop
the question or did he finally ask you?
Speaker 2 (18:33):
We exchanged to email addresses again early internet, where that
was like, you won't get lost in spam. This is
probably fine, yeah, because otherwise you're giving your home number,
your landline, right, it's personal for word, right, So yeah,
I think he did, he suggested, And we went to
Moody's in Chicago for our first date, which was perfect
(18:56):
and we had a lovely time and I made sure
to kick him out.
Speaker 1 (19:03):
That I relate. That happened to be my first date
with my girlfriend now, who I've been together for nine years.
First date, we went to a really nice dinner. Then
we were drinking whiskey out on her porch and we
were watching these two lesbian neighbors have this really intense
fight and they kept fighting and then making out and
fighting and we were just like, this is a soap
op rather than maze. And then there was also some
(19:25):
stray cats that were having a fight too in the alleyway.
There was just it was just like it was better
than TV. And then and then she she invited me
into her room to like give me this tie that
I had left or that she had stolen from me
one night, and then we like started kissing and then
I took off my shoes and she was like, what
are you doing? And I was like, I thought we
(19:46):
were gonna get on the bed and I didn't want
to get my shoes on your bed. And she was like,
we're not getting on the bed. Put your shoes back off.
Speaker 2 (19:52):
Put your damps on, get out.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
Yeah that's exactly what happened.
Speaker 2 (19:56):
Oh no, full disclosure. We absolutely, we absolutely did that.
We did all of that shoes off and the whole thing.
But then I was like, okay, get out, Nelly. I
don't I don't want you waking up here in either
of us going oh no, because I think you're very lovely,
so get out.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
Yeah. See I did even get there. I just got
two shoes off, and she was like, what's What do
you think you're doing while taking.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
It's very presumptuous of you thinking I want to see
your toes.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
Yeah, but I also just I didn't want to people
get my shoes on earth.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
You're trying to be polite.
Speaker 1 (20:29):
It was presumptuous and polite at the same time.
Speaker 2 (20:32):
I was very assuming, also very concerned about your duvet.
Speaker 1 (20:35):
Yeah exactly, I just I didn't want so embarrassing putting
the shoes back. I guess they're not slip on stoo,
So I got it right. So I gotta tie and
relace these.
Speaker 2 (20:50):
Hold on their dress shoes.
Speaker 1 (20:51):
It's been lazy their knee high boots that.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
They got some hook eyes. One second, I just got it.
I want the buckles. Stupid, stupid.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
Okay, really, it has been fun.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
You have a good night and a clean bed. I'm
gonna go.
Speaker 1 (21:13):
Oh what a cute me and cute.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
It was very cute. We we we got engaged and
then broke up and then moved apart. Yeah, we broke
our landlord's heart when we told them because my landlords
would not let me move in with my previous boyfriend. Okay,
they were hilarious, amazing people. I just asked what the
(21:38):
price of a two bedroom would be. And the patriarch
of the family, Gus, was like, no, you don't want
to do that. I was like, but what I just
want to know? How much is no? No, Gus, how
much is that not? You do that? And then something
happens and you got you got an apartment you can't
pay for. Oh something's good. Well that's rude. But also
(22:01):
they would come in to do work and sometimes do
my dishes. I'm like, June, did you do that?
Speaker 1 (22:07):
Well?
Speaker 2 (22:07):
They were just there. I just thought, June sumptuous and
polite and polite. Oh god. They had to redo some
pipes and like had to tear apart my closet at
one point, and she's and all of my shoes had
been moved to under my bed and she's like, those
are a lot of shoes. I was, all your shoes.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
You might have a problem, thanks, June.
Speaker 2 (22:28):
They came in to fix something one day and like
they didn't tell me, and they'd bust in and they're
yelling at each other. I'm like, Gus, you cannot talk
to your wife that way at ten o'clock in the
morning in.
Speaker 1 (22:37):
My house, inside my bedroom.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
Inside my bed, and he just palms me at twenty
and he's like, go get some breakfast.
Speaker 1 (22:43):
You don't want to hear this.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
He brought me a table. He's like, I don't like it.
You don't know how a cocktail table?
Speaker 1 (22:50):
What?
Speaker 2 (22:51):
An air conditioner, a toaster? Things would just show up
in my house. They are the greatest, weirdest landlords I've
ever had.
Speaker 1 (22:57):
Really and blurring the lines.
Speaker 2 (22:59):
Oh yeah. And then they met my husband and instead
of like he would he would gesture for my ex
because he was short, which I'm short but he and
so was Gus. But he was like, where's and he
would like hold his hand up like short guy.
Speaker 1 (23:13):
Yay, hi right.
Speaker 2 (23:15):
I was like what. And for my husband he was like,
where's Captain America? Oh?
Speaker 1 (23:19):
All right?
Speaker 2 (23:20):
And then one day he's like, you need a bigger apartment.
Speaker 1 (23:23):
He did.
Speaker 2 (23:23):
He's like, Gus approves you may now continue your relationship.
He was like, you need a bigger apartment. I'm gonna
I'm gonna start showing you apartments. I'm like, okay, he did.
He gave us a I moved within the building. Two
gorgeous apartments in the same building, just unbelievable, cleanest building
I've ever seen in my life.
Speaker 1 (23:43):
Did did he make a speech at your wedding?
Speaker 2 (23:47):
Sad? No, he should have. I should have invited the travelss.
But no, he actually passed away shortly after he uh
picked out our apartment. Oh god, so telling you know,
his his widow and and the daughter like, I'm so sorry.
But she's like, I can't believe it didn't work out.
I'm so sorry. You need anything you come back by
(24:08):
either of you. We just love you.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
So they were so sweet, you need anything except more shoes.
Speaker 2 (24:13):
Right, because I'm not gonna I'm not going to enable
you like that concern for you, concerned but and judgmental.
Speaker 1 (24:20):
Still.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
Oh, when they were trying to show the place, like
they came in, looked at my bathroom and she looks
at the at the tub and she's like, well, I'm
gonna have to comment that, but that'll be okay. I'm like,
I did.
Speaker 1 (24:31):
No, not enough. You gotta put that back into it.
You I'll bow grace in there.
Speaker 2 (24:36):
I mean, if you tried, it's worse than my mother.
So we broke up for a bit, uh, and we
moved apart. We got back together very quickly, but we
stayed living apart because we'd already made arrangements. It's a
long time and this was working out pretty well. Uh
(24:56):
so our uh save the dates for when we got
re engage, which was also very cute, just said in
very pretty script. It just said, seriously on them so weird, seriously, seriously, No,
we're gonna do it this time. When I told my
mother the second time we got engaged, she was like, oh,
well good. I was like, well, excuse me. She's like, well,
(25:18):
if you were gonna marry him, I was going to like, really, mom,
And yes, my mother was a fifty year smoker from Brooklyn.
Not to be confused with the Satan Lady. They're foy
different people. We were doing, uh the only production that
I directed for the theater company that I ran for
like twelve years. And at the end of the show,
(25:38):
my husband was supposed to propose to a woman that
he doesn't really know. He'd just been talking to her
in the lobby all night in this small town. You know,
So you're gonna marry me or what? And she's like, no,
I don't think so, mister Faber. He's like, all right,
like that kind of thing whatever, and the whole and
it was a dress rehearsal, because no man I would marry,
would ruin a fucking performance by proposing to me in
(26:02):
the middle. No one paid for that, No one wants
to see that.
Speaker 1 (26:04):
That's a selfish move.
Speaker 2 (26:06):
It's a very selfish move. Just no one. No one
here cares. They came to see the show.
Speaker 1 (26:10):
What are you doing if you If you do it
on one show, then you have to do it every show,
and then you have to recreate that kind of emotion
and that discovery every time.
Speaker 2 (26:18):
And our future is based on a performance.
Speaker 1 (26:21):
It's not a lie. Yeah, it's a lie.
Speaker 2 (26:22):
It's a lie.
Speaker 1 (26:23):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
It was a dress rehearsal. And there was like two
minutes left of the play after he proposes, and he
told the people that it would affect but the whole night,
all my notes are like, why the fuck is your
character so fucking chipper? Like he's this disheveled business man
who's just very down in his luck, and I'm like, man,
a little step in your step.
Speaker 1 (26:45):
Yeah, tone it down.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
You're supposed to be bitter and jaded, and you're just like.
Speaker 1 (26:53):
You. Why did you sing half of your lines?
Speaker 2 (26:56):
Did you skip just now? I think you did? Clearly
that was a pot of barret as you exited the stage,
and I do not approve. So he asks, you know,
is you gonna marry me one? And she's like, no,
mister favor. He said, that's all right, I have someone
else in mind, and he walks out and to me
and drops to it and I was like, oh, no, I
(27:18):
didn't know. Don't read these notes? Did you have notes
on the proposal? I copious, copious notes.
Speaker 1 (27:28):
No.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
I stopped at that point and I told him I
think he was trying to get out of those notes.
Speaker 1 (27:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:34):
It was pretty adorable. It was pretty It was pretty cute.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
That is that's sweet. No notes, no notes on the proposal.
Speaker 2 (27:42):
No notes.
Speaker 1 (27:43):
You know.
Speaker 2 (27:43):
He was going to do it on the train, but
there was too much peace and someone was smoking.
Speaker 1 (27:48):
Yeah, too many Satanists.
Speaker 2 (27:50):
They were having a convention, and we just didn't want to.
Speaker 1 (27:53):
He could have done it. You could have press the
button and been like, hear you, hear you all you
know travelers on this trade.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
Here's the person I would like to spend the rest
of my days with. In car fifty four to seventeen.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
Shut up, shut your mouth, this is my stop. We
got to stop pressing the buttons. It's for the conductor, right.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
Trying to see the Cobs game. So that's that's those
are those are? I mean, that's kind of my mash
up of this of what the CTA gave us.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
All. Yeah, I mean, it's a roller coaster. You never
know what you're going to get on the on the CTA, No, And.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
For a while their slogan was absolutely unironically, take it,
take it, CTA, take it. I'm like, did anyone think
this all? I bet you did think this through.
Speaker 1 (28:39):
It's the same it's the same company that was doing
the slogan for South Dakota, which what they had a
meth problem and their slogan was meth We're on it.
I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's true. It's very true.
Speaker 2 (28:59):
Why it's just you and a couple of bison right now,
it's it.
Speaker 1 (29:03):
We're on it.
Speaker 2 (29:04):
We're on it. Yeah, you want to be on it too,
Come visit. You don't need teeth.
Speaker 1 (29:10):
Let's go. We were on it.
Speaker 2 (29:12):
We're on it. So fun. It's a great time.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
And then so now it's been almost twenty years, right
or has it been twenty It'll.
Speaker 2 (29:20):
Be twenty in December. Oh yeah, hell yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:23):
You guys should go for a ride on the on
the train.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
We're gonna go back to Chicago. Get on the train. Yeah,
push the button. See what happens, right? I mean, why not? Honestly,
I go back to Chicago a lot, so that we'll
have to or you've had that in there.
Speaker 1 (29:37):
You could. You could bring back the play that you
guys were doing.
Speaker 2 (29:40):
We could. I did love that show. Actually did not
a lot of other people did, but I thought it
was great.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
Read mount it, read mount the show. Get the cast
back together, Come on, I get the bad back together. Everybody,
let us do it.
Speaker 2 (29:53):
It's a depressing show about a small town. Let's go
archa no American notes. Yeah, familiar, very very weird, wonderful
kind of just small town Americana kind of show.
Speaker 1 (30:09):
I love it.
Speaker 2 (30:09):
And it was like just little bits. And what I
loved is our set designers actually built these little platforms,
these little wagons that just kind of moved in and out.
So they were very detailed because it was like just
a chair with a bunch of shits arounding it. Yeah,
just a little bit of a bar. So they just
kind of moved in and out of this small town.
And I loved it.
Speaker 1 (30:26):
I just loved it. I got to read that I'm
always looking for I just read I did this in college,
but just came back to Bob Rauschenberg America, the Chuck
Me play, which I if you I've read. It's also
it's a very much a little slice of Americana, and
it's a lot of little vignettes.
Speaker 2 (30:43):
And yeah, that's probably I'm gonna guess, because this tells
me it's probably a little better.
Speaker 1 (30:51):
He's the most performed playwright living playwright because he makes
everything public domain. Just he says, to do my play
is for free. I don't care.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
That's definitely a good call. We produced a show once
we were just talking about this was a Clive Barker play, okay,
called Frankenstein and Love. I look back at that and went, oh, no,
there's a lot of problems there. But Clive Barker knew
that it was so difficult to do that. The rights
(31:20):
were a dollar.
Speaker 1 (31:21):
Oh good luck.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
Yeah, I mean honestly, he's like, have fun, that's the
way that so much blood.
Speaker 1 (31:29):
Yeah, it's like you got to buy all these wedding
dresses and cover them in blood. It's a dollar.
Speaker 2 (31:35):
So many parts, so many baby parts. We were calling
a place called Dapper Cadaver Ordering the Dismemberment Special.
Speaker 1 (31:42):
There have you really? Yeah, there's one in in the
Valley in Los Angeles and that's where you're from. You Yeah, okay,
I've been there. It's crazy. It's a wild wild it's impressive.
Speaker 2 (31:56):
Like I can only imagine going in there.
Speaker 1 (31:59):
I can't remember why. Oh, we were renting a coffin
or for a sketch, like you do. We were shooting
a sketch that was it was a three sixty video POV.
Oh yeah, of you being the person in the you
(32:19):
being the dead person. Nope, absolutely in the coffin. And
then it was this like this parade of your family
members and ex girlfriend or whatever all showing up and
like it's confessing horrible things and crying and you know,
it's just this shit show funeral.
Speaker 2 (32:36):
That I'm here for. That just not the lowering into
the ground park. Let's not do that.
Speaker 1 (32:40):
No, No, that wasn't in there. I mean the I
was the creepy priest and there was a closing of
the coffin at the end of it. But but yeah,
that's why that's why we went to the African Ever.
Speaker 2 (32:50):
Yeap, it would just had people non on arms and things.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
A lot of severed limbs, aliens and yep, it's really
impressive what they do there. This episode is brought to
you by Dapper cad.
Speaker 2 (33:02):
Ever sponsors daper could Ever.
Speaker 1 (33:15):
Let's play a little bit of a first, first, last, best, worst.
Let's yes, why don't we do worsts and we do
all we run through the gamut of worst. All right,
let's go, okay, so worst job.
Speaker 2 (33:27):
Okay, see now there's there's like a tie faction, right.
It's gonna have to probably be my first one though,
because it was telemarketing, and it was telemarketing to businesses
across the country selling ads with PSAs attached for their
local radio station. So like I'm calling Decatur, Georgia, going
(33:51):
through the Yellow Pages and there's a book of like.
Speaker 1 (33:56):
Of p s.
Speaker 2 (33:57):
As you know, back to school is like safety and
domestic abuse is real popular right now. And then you've
got here's the ad for an automotive company, here's the
ad for and you're going to read this whole fucking
thing if you can get to it. And I am
fifteen years old, you know, windowless, smoke filled office of
(34:20):
harassment and bad coffee.
Speaker 1 (34:23):
Yeah, I can smell that office right now, right, I
can taste it, you can. Yeah. And also there's just
like depression in the air.
Speaker 2 (34:32):
Oh oh, it's yellowing the walls more than the smoke,
like it's and then you're writing your your sales on
a whiteboard. You know it's got this sad Glengarry Glenn
Ross with none of the wealth. Right, you know you're
selling Phoenix, Arizona. And you're like, and that's brought to
you by Mike's Auto Supply. Where service is more than
a word, it's a fact. It's a fact based on
(34:53):
the care replace and satisfying each one of our customers,
Like you're going to get through that whole thing, oh man.
And then and you're like, who, Mike, that was a mouthful.
So what do you say you got thirty seconds for
four ninety nine?
Speaker 1 (35:06):
Yeah, I mean it's it.
Speaker 2 (35:10):
I didn't have a lot of a soul left at
that point, and there wasn't much to squash. But I
did start drinking coffee, I started drinking alcohol. I mean
it wasn't too far behind. And then I started a
second job at a casual corner at the mall. But
I had to keep all of my clothes for it
upstairs and keep my hair tightly pulled back because of
(35:31):
the smoke smell. I wouldn't show up. Reeking Corner, Oh,
casual corner is a place in Amal where when you
pick out an item of clothing, I have to find
you ten items to mix ayat with that.
Speaker 1 (35:49):
Wow, you get all the outfits, so many shoulder at
the ads. Yeah, sounds kind of like a blouse barn
or something.
Speaker 2 (35:56):
It's I got blouse barn a slack stand.
Speaker 1 (36:03):
Yeah, it could be sort of a khaki corner too.
Speaker 2 (36:07):
I dressed deeple.
Speaker 1 (36:09):
How long did you last at the at the telemarketing job?
Speaker 2 (36:13):
Longer than I should have a couple of years. And
they let me take the job to college. I was
able to take phone books with me from these places
to college, so I could make some extra money as
though anyway, and I have to record when I'm selling,
like you know, with a tape recording. Tell me you're
doing it?
Speaker 1 (36:32):
Wow?
Speaker 2 (36:32):
Yeah I didn't. I didn't sell anything.
Speaker 1 (36:35):
We're are those tapes now?
Speaker 2 (36:37):
I don't know. I'm concerned I should find them. I
could not sell the South, No, I could sell some
of the South. I had to fake an accent I
could not sell the West Coast. To save my life,
I could say I could sell the East Coast. I
talked too fast. I had to change my name. My
maiden name is Foyerstein.
Speaker 1 (36:58):
Uh huh.
Speaker 2 (37:00):
I knew that people around the country would not like that.
Speaker 1 (37:02):
That's yeah, that's a depressing fact. Yep.
Speaker 2 (37:06):
So I had to be Corey Peters.
Speaker 1 (37:09):
I thought you were. I feel like a lot of times,
especially with Indian telemarketers, they choose like president's names to
be like and then I'm John Adams and you know,
it's like, it's not okay.
Speaker 2 (37:23):
Why'd you pick that one? I mean I could say
that for any president you choose why why that one?
Speaker 1 (37:28):
I'm Tyler Polk. Wait it was Tyler Polk. Is his
name Tyler?
Speaker 2 (37:35):
Or is it j James James K Polk?
Speaker 1 (37:38):
Yeah, I was. But the president before Polk was was Tyler.
I think that's why combined Tyler Polk, Taylor, and Fillmore
that's my those are my names.
Speaker 2 (37:48):
I'm John F taft are you? I don't think that's right?
Speaker 1 (37:54):
Washington and Adams, Jefferson and Madison that is that's me. Okay,
So that's the worst. That was the worst job.
Speaker 2 (38:04):
Now I was also a singing, dancing waiter on a
cruise ship on the Spirit of Chicago, and you knew
it was time for the show when our black and
white best got flipped around to be golden.
Speaker 1 (38:14):
Mat Oh, Mama, that sounds like the best job.
Speaker 2 (38:19):
I mean, it kind of was for a little while.
I can't lie.
Speaker 1 (38:22):
I've also been a singing waiter, and I definitely enjoyed
my time. I enjoyed the singing aspect of the waiting.
I liked the singing part more than the serving. Oh
there was there was this one guy. I worked at
this restaurant called c Ando Tratoria in uh In, Venice,
and they come around once a night or twice a
(38:42):
night and we sing That's amore, and all the waiters
come around with glasses and they cheers the gas basically
to get them to drink more. But we're all drinking
diet coke or whatever, like we're not, you know, drinking wine.
And then when we would sing Happy Birthday, we'd sing
it in Italian. I'm remember the first time I went
out to sing it. I went up and I did
(39:03):
the harmony, and this waiter came back and he was
like he had been there a while, and he was like, hey,
did you do the Do you do the high harmony
on the on the Happy Birthday? And I was like,
oh yeah. He was like, that's my harmony. Oh and
I was like what. He's like, yeah, that's uh I
do the high harmony. And I was like, that's okay,
get the get the fuck out of my note, Get
the fuck off my harmony faces and I was like, well,
(39:25):
it's not yours. It's a harmony and belongs to the universe,
so fuck off.
Speaker 2 (39:30):
Fine, I'll find a fifth What do you think about that?
Come in, don't. I will dissonant the fuck out of
this court.
Speaker 1 (39:37):
Watch. I just keep trying to one up each other
and get.
Speaker 2 (39:43):
Till one of you just suddenly makes it minor and
you're like, ah.
Speaker 1 (39:46):
God, really, I will butcher that Italian version of happy Birthdays. Gross.
Speaker 2 (39:53):
It's dark.
Speaker 1 (39:54):
It's real dark.
Speaker 2 (39:56):
I feel sad.
Speaker 1 (39:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (39:57):
Yeah, I did slaughter so many pop too, so that
I can't hear anymore without like thinking of a lot
of three pointer turns or like clapping with the mic
in your hand, just clapping your wrist.
Speaker 1 (40:09):
Okay, so that's the worst job. Let's go to let's
go worst kiss.
Speaker 2 (40:17):
Oh, yeah, it was.
Speaker 1 (40:19):
It was an early one and I feel like it
was the last one that I had.
Speaker 2 (40:24):
Yeah, it was. It was just in the other room.
And I don't know how to tell my husband. He's
terrible at this. I had just moved to Melrose Park
and you know, like so I think I had like
a neighborhood boyfriend for a second, you know, and as
new kid, that was exciting. Was before like I started
school and I thought he was so nice.
Speaker 1 (40:46):
How old are we we are?
Speaker 2 (40:49):
Let's see, we're like thirteen fourteen, Okay.
Speaker 1 (40:53):
So eighth grade is middle school too? High school?
Speaker 2 (40:57):
Like yeah, into high school like not first ever, but
like first like I feel grown up now kind of thing.
You know, I had middle school boyfriends.
Speaker 1 (41:04):
Yea.
Speaker 2 (41:06):
So I was like, you know, I'm new kid, this
is adult time now, so okay, like yeah, and then yeah,
I was bad. I avoided him. I did not want
to see him anymore because it was like a labrador
just really loved your face and too much. It's a
little demigorgonesque. Just it's a lot going on, like just
(41:30):
the whole face. And I was like, ah, that was bad.
I did not, like I'm so damp on my face.
Speaker 1 (41:38):
Full towel wipe down after that?
Speaker 2 (41:41):
How did you do that? How did you even enclose
your mouth?
Speaker 1 (41:44):
Like I unhinge my jaw. That's like my move, that's
what that's like my specialty.
Speaker 2 (41:50):
You know, I'm just gonna swallow you hole like Diana
taking down a hamster and v like.
Speaker 1 (41:54):
Have you ever seen Blade two? That's kind of that's
what I do. My lower jaw is kind of just.
Speaker 2 (42:04):
I thought he was such a nice kid too, and
I was like I and I kept avoiding him, and
he's like asking my friends, like where is she? She's
not around. I don't know where she is. Like I
totally chickened out. I did not tell him like I
can't kiss stuff.
Speaker 1 (42:17):
Yeah, you don't want to break his you know, his young,
fragile heart.
Speaker 2 (42:22):
I know, And but I did anyway by completely avoiding
him forever.
Speaker 1 (42:25):
But that may have been the better move than the
brutal honesty of him being a terrible But who knows,
maybe he'd kept kissing like that to this day. Maybe
nobody's told him.
Speaker 2 (42:37):
Maybe so no one was just like, you know, shook
themselves off like a dog after a bath.
Speaker 1 (42:43):
Why is my hair wet?
Speaker 2 (42:44):
How did you do that.
Speaker 1 (42:47):
Jesus.
Speaker 2 (42:47):
I mean, his breath wasn't horrible, so at least there
was that. But I mean, but since I was wearing
it can smell your teeth.
Speaker 1 (42:59):
Okay, so that it's the worst kiss for sure. Okay,
let's do one more. Let's say, what about party? Is
worst party a possible one?
Speaker 2 (43:05):
I mean there's always a bad party, right, Like there's
there's the party that I lied to my mother that
I said I wasn't going to that I went to.
You know that my mother, who never locked the door
in Melrose Park, locked the door because she knew I
was going to come home, like because she knew I
was gonna lie. You know, right where I tried to
drink beer with college kids and threw up a lot.
Here we go with the throwing up, I would say
(43:27):
because of the aftermath. No, that wasn't the one I
threw that was pretty bad. But in college there was
one across the street that I went to, and I
think the party itself was fine, maybe, but I.
Speaker 1 (43:46):
It was my behavior that was.
Speaker 2 (43:47):
Yeah, it's when I woke up covered in my own vomit.
That was like that that's bad. That's not good. Oh no, no, No,
the one that I threw. I wound up crying at
the end. Okay, So so we decided to throw a party. Yeah,
and you know, we had a terrible apartment.
Speaker 1 (44:01):
And this is in college. Yeah, okay.
Speaker 2 (44:03):
And there's the guy who always made the yellow shots
at his parties, right, like, those dude's yellow shots are legendary.
Our standards were so low, and he gave me his recipe.
Speaker 1 (44:13):
Right. Also, kids, now don't understand that when we used
to have edibles at parties, you had no idea how
much weed was in them. Now everything's so like scientifically
dosed out and you know exactly how much. But you
would eat a brownie and just be like, well, good luck,
good luck to me. Who knows that could have been
(44:35):
a pound of weed in that thing. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (44:37):
I might be in the hospital. I really don't know.
I just took ecstasy from someone in a bathroom at
a club in London.
Speaker 1 (44:43):
Hope I live, right, I did? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (44:51):
So true. I remember like guarding all of the poppers
for people to do the nightdress at parties. I'm like, well,
how many of you had and when's the last time
you had one? Well, no, you're not.
Speaker 1 (45:00):
How much oxygen have you breathed in between nineties.
Speaker 2 (45:03):
I can't have you brain damaged in this thing.
Speaker 1 (45:05):
You've got to breathe some more oxygen. Take a little
oxygen break.
Speaker 2 (45:08):
I'll come back around.
Speaker 1 (45:09):
So weird. Every high school party I went to there
was a nose tank, and I was just like, this
is normal, this is what we do.
Speaker 2 (45:15):
Why that's wrong with us?
Speaker 1 (45:18):
So dumb?
Speaker 2 (45:19):
We had to go to the adult bookstore to ask Cartridges,
like what the fuck? Well, I mean the fact that
those are even there, Like, we didn't know this is normal.
So the dude, to his credit, was like, you want
to make the first batch really strong to warn everyone
so they act accordingly, And I was like, cool, good,
good to know. He was talking about vodka, and I
(45:41):
made them with ever Clear because I was college sophomore
trash Yeah, in addition to buying a brand new trash
can to make punch in.
Speaker 1 (45:53):
That's that's kind that you at least got a new
one that you didn't just like wash out the old one.
Speaker 2 (45:58):
Yeah, yeah, I thought that would Yeah, I'd like it.
And the universe was like, don't drink because every time
I tried the first time I put my cup in
the punch thing there was a hole in my cup.
The second time, someone was walking upstairs and literally kicked
my cup out of my hand, Like the fuck man,
I did wind up. No, that didn't happen yet. It
(46:20):
wasn't to my junior yar that I threw up so
hard at peed. That was that was later, but I did.
There was some some dude I liked who wasn't there
or interested or something.
Speaker 1 (46:31):
Who can say.
Speaker 2 (46:32):
And I'm newly on birth control and out of my
mind on hormones. I have no idea what's wrong with me.
And I'm just sobbing outside by myself and the most pathetic,
hilarious moment. And I knew it at the time, but
it just gets funnier to me as I get older.
Is I felt an arm around my waist to comfort
(46:53):
me as I cried, and I was like, oh, and
I look at it. It's just a stray cat wrapping itself. Oh,
probably giving me fleas. And I was like, of course
you're not a person.
Speaker 1 (47:08):
But thanks for being here.
Speaker 2 (47:10):
That's really nice of you. My friend came to visit,
passed out in my bed, had the kid. Oh it
was a TI die party too, because we're very stupid and.
Speaker 1 (47:25):
Wait, were you wear tie things or were you were
tie dyeing thing? What a mess with you get super
drunk and then like play with die?
Speaker 2 (47:36):
Yeah, and let's have the Fiddler from the current production
Fiddler on the Roof put his head in the die sink. No,
like just smiling, going DK no, wait.
Speaker 1 (47:48):
It's not going to come out. No it didn't.
Speaker 2 (47:53):
So I think just for the sheer train wreck that
I was, I'll call that. I'll call that the worst one.
Speaker 1 (47:59):
I love that. I love that respecond of it. Well,
I mean, is there any moral to all of these stories?
Is there some through line, some thread that we can
tie it all together?
Speaker 2 (48:13):
Uh, just don't be trash, like, don't try not to
be a complete mess at these things, and maybe it
won't be terrible.
Speaker 1 (48:21):
Yeah. And so you never know where where love will
will rear its head, whether it's a future husband or
a straight cat.
Speaker 2 (48:32):
You don't know. You don't know who's out there ready
to love you. It could be Satan lady, it could
be your future husband. Yeah, you know, I will say
on a random party, I was waiting tables and I
was training, So all the tips, you know, go to
the person that's training you, right, right, on your last
(48:54):
they're shadowing you on the list I had. The last
table was a table full of drunken British businessmen, and
they were right, and they were closing down the place.
They were incensed when they found out that the tips
were not going to me. I'm like, it's fine, this
is just how it works.
Speaker 1 (49:08):
No love, no love, a bang up job. No, it's
got to go to you.
Speaker 2 (49:14):
It's brilliant, a brilliant and this is this is absolute,
absolute rubbish.
Speaker 1 (49:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (49:20):
So he's like, what are you doing Saturday nine. I'm like,
I am not going anywhere with you. He's like no, no, no, no, no, no,
no no, and he hands me three temporary tattoos and
he says, I want you to take these. These are
your tickets to this party, okay, And I'm like, a,
sure they are, but I called to you my friends.
I'm like, here's something that could be a complete mess.
(49:42):
And so we put the tattoos on and sure enough,
it's a big party for their software company in the
middle of Soldier Field with a giant tent and fireworks
with Donna Summer and Blood, Sweat and Tears performing Oh
My Yead and they're like, look, it's a waitress for
the other night.
Speaker 1 (50:03):
What a fun? What a fun?
Speaker 2 (50:04):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (50:05):
If screw wristbands, temporary tattoos are way better, like ticket
to the party, way better.
Speaker 2 (50:11):
More fun. Probably somehow economically friendly or environmentally friendly. Yeah,
maybe not. I don't know, but we're doing that.
Speaker 1 (50:19):
I like it, Yeah, I love it.
Speaker 2 (50:21):
Be open, Try not to get too messy.
Speaker 1 (50:25):
That's that's it, right there, Be open, try not to
get too messy. That's it. I'm gonna I want that
on a poster hanging in my office. Yeah, with a
stray cat and and a homeless woman, and like a
handsome Captain America.
Speaker 2 (50:41):
Yes, it's like a kitten in a tree.
Speaker 1 (50:44):
Pushing a Yeah, Captain America is like throwing a shield
right at the unhoused woman. Yeah. Yeah, but she's got
Satan powers. She's gonna be an awesome If anybody listening
is a graphic designer wants to make we will post it.
We will post it to our Instagram. Please send it.
Speaker 2 (51:03):
I will sell it on my merchhop and make sure
you get all of the prosins.
Speaker 1 (51:08):
Please. Awesome. Well, Corbette, thank you so very much.
Speaker 2 (51:13):
Thank you for having me. I appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (51:16):
Well, that about does it. For this week's episode of
Hashtag story Time. Thanks again to Corbett for making time
to come on the pod. Head on down to the
description for all of those sweet sweet links. Take a
second right now and hit subscribe so you don't miss
next week's episode. We've got a fable family EP coming
at you, so give us a call at the Storytime
hotline three two, three, seven, four one eighteen seventy three
(51:37):
and tell us your story and we'll put you in
the next episode. Seriously, give us a call. I dare
you do it? Also, if you're enjoying the podcast, please
leave us a review. It helps us out a lot
and I literally read every single one. Hashtag Storytime is
produced by iHeartRadio and Curativity Productions, Hosted by Will McFadden,
Sound designed by Tony maddox, written by Will McFadden and
Jason Shapiro, Produced by Jason Shapiro and Daniellamrame. Song by
(52:00):
Scott Simonds MHM
There's a meat cute in this story.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
There's actually a meet cute. It's much later, you know, Like,
just imagine a meet cute that smells like pea.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
So. I recently got back from a trip to Japan,
and there are so many beautiful aspects of Japanese culture,
from the incredible food, to the history, the artistry and
attention to detail, and every aspect of life. But the
thing that I found most surprising and satisfying was the
public transportation. Now, the subway stations, first of all, have
(00:53):
amazing gourmet food. I mean, subway sushi in Japan is
better than most four star sushi restaurants in LA And
the stations and the trains are pristine, they are sparkling.
There's not a piece of trash in sight. And then
once you're on the subway, it's silent. No one is
(01:14):
talking on their phone. No one is talking period. Even
when you're crammed in there like sardines, all you hear
is the Nintendos jingles that play to indicate that the
doors are closing and the train is leaving. Is beautiful,
kind of different than our public train system here in
the United States. I mean, I live in Los Angeles.
So I can't even really talk. I mean, our subway
(01:35):
is not even a subway, it's above ground and it
basically just takes you downtown if that's where you want
to go. So I'm not exactly an expert, but enter
my friend Corbett Pasco. Corbett is an actor, writer and
professional swear who you may know is the unofficial gen
X representative on TikTok. She also has a lot of
experience with the CTA, also known as the Chicago Transit Authority,
(01:57):
and she's got the stories to prove it. I'm will
mind the Gap McFadden. And this is hashtag story time,
brought to you by iHeartRadio.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
So I was working downtown in the Loop in Chicago,
and I you know, I took public transit together there
because that's I have now relocated to California in the
last year. Well, I still don't thank you very much.
I still don't drive. That's difficult, Yeah it does.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
You know La is notorious for like you drive to
the neighbor's house.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
Yeah, oh no, it's it's worse. I'm in Sacramento, so,
I mean there's nothing, there's there's it looks people look
at you funny when you're walking. So I have a car,
I just I don't drive it well, so my husband
does that. But anyway, so taking public to get to work,
and I'm coming home on the on the Brown Line,
which kind of you know, goes around the loop, and
there are several passengers if you're going to transfer at
(02:52):
any point, so it does a crowded train at rush
hour coming home. So I realized this is about ninety
six seven.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
Okay, okay.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
So I'm young, and I'm you know, in my little
professional day job before going to my little theater evening career,
and and everyone's packing on and there is a woman
in a in a dirty coat, a winter coat, and
that's you know, and she and she's shuffling along and
(03:22):
she seems elderly, and I'm trying to see if she
needs any assistance, but she seems to have it under control.
She's got a luggage cart that has a giant Hinkley
and Schmidt type water bottle, like the big old office bottles,
that's empty except for some change at the bottom. And
she's got that strap to her luggage cart and she's wheeling.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
It on sort of like a five gallon sparklet style thing, okay.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Exactly, And I'm like, okay, she seems all right. I
think she's got it. So okay, so she gets on
the train and we all get on the train. Now
there's a button that was at that time more recently
installed on the train where you can push it to
talk to the conductor, but it also goes to the
entire train.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Okay, okay's megaphone button's mm hmmm. Seems like that wasn't
well thought out.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
No, it was a it was a bad choice. It
was that that really just should go right to the conductor,
maybe skip everybody else in between. And I think she
she knew somehow, she knew exactly where she was going.
So she got onto the train and we're all packed
in like sardines, and this tiny woman just leans into
the button and goes and I'm please know I am
not exaggerating this voice, because this is what the entire
(04:24):
train heard. At last, Christ is dead and Satan can rule,
And the entire train just looks at each other like,
oh fun. Oh no. So now you're trying to do
(04:46):
the thing where you're like, do I pretend she's invisible?
Or do I do I ask some questions? Do I
just keep my head down, so I'm I'm.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
My this is before you know earbuds. You know, you
could no phone.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
I can stare at.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
Yeah, exactly. You just have to stare at your shoes
or like awkwardly make brisk eye contact with your with
your neighbors.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Yep, and just like maybe as a plea for help,
and they're like, can I help.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
You maybe anything? Really lean into a book or a magazine.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
If you can reach it. Because I'm standing at this point,
I'm like, I can't get to that, okay. And I
can see her in the reflection of the the train
door in between cars, so I'm holding out of the
pole and I can see her just just behind my arm,
and then out of the corner of my vision, I
see her hand and I look down and she is
reaching for like a funian's bag that had fallen to
(05:35):
the ground and her and her fingers are just like
kind of witchily reaching for it. And I'm just gonna
let her be right. I'm just like, okay, not gonna
And then she stands up and she's like, fine, don't
help me, you fuck, And I was like, and then
she proceeds to sing a song about what a horror
I am to the entire train. I'm like, but I didn't. Okay, uh,
(05:59):
and you know we're all just and again I'm checking
her reflection to see if, like, is she going to
jump up and latch onto my arm like in a
bite hold? Should I rip? You know? Like just looking
like all right? And then she The historic event was
the Clinton Lewency Lewinsky scandal. Right, okay, this is like
(06:20):
early Internet when I remember working in this office as
people are reading the report and thinking, I shouldn't.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
Know any of this? Why do I public?
Speaker 2 (06:31):
I shouldn't None of us should know this. This feels
like we're going down a bad path here, man, too
much information here we are twenty twenty two. No, so
all that was very much on the public consciousness, including
our friend here who decided to educate all of us
and say, do you know why the bitch squealed? And
(06:56):
I'm not again that was her actual like Broomhilda s
or which Hazel esque if you want to go looney
Tunes about it.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
I'm picturing that she was like on her way to
a production of Into the Woods.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
You'd think, you know, right, it's just an.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
Fol costume and makeup, hair and in character on the
way to you know, to like the premiere of Into
the Woods, which I feel like, what is just coming
out at that time?
Speaker 2 (07:23):
Yes, singing children will listen in her puppy goat, and
you know, of course no one's like, no, why did
they why? I don't know why? And she finally said,
because Clinton was a lousy fuck and that's why the
bitch squealed.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
Oh my god. I mean, if this woman had a
TikTok account now, I feel like she would, she'd be
crushing it.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
She absolutely would. She'd have sponsor. She'd be like trying
on those magnetic pear glasses.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
And you're getting a lot of those ads right now.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
Yes, same, and some of them like I know that person.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
She should be like, you know this disco stick eye rolling,
that's the one I get a lot. I guess that's
what I need in my life. Is like men's men's
under I you know, it's like, hey, it's cool if
you're a bro and you like you need a little
under eye care, Like I'm.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
All right, man, we're gonna call it a disco stick
so you don't feel emasculated.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
Exactly, just to keep this disco stick in my truck
and then like you know, a store.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
Right under my my naked lady mudflaps.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
Right when I'm going hunting, like before a hunt, I
always just like touch up my under ruck.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
I don't need the dudes thinking I didn't sleep well
last night like I should right hill though, So she
got off at Sedgwick, which she called Hell's Maker. Ah,
Hell's Maker, and then got off and then spat upon
the train as it pulls away.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
Oh my god. She is just she is a ten
at all times.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
All the time, like there's no there's no relaxation that
woman does not.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
So aggressive in every decision to making els maker. It's
like train I recently saw. I went to the Sinespia,
which is like in the cemetery movie thing in Los Angeles,
and we saw we watch Showgirls and and Elizabeth Berkeley's
performance in Showgirls is she is so aggressive in every
(09:23):
move that she does everything. It's so aggressive, and I
feel like this woman is at the same level. Maybe
it is Elizabeth Berkeley. She was studying for a role
in Into the Wands.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
You know what I'm now that I'm thinking about it,
that very well could be. I mean, Elizabeth Berkeley is
like dancing at you, right, and this woman is kind
of living at you.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
Yeah, exactly, spitting at you.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
Spitting at you. Also not the first time I've been
spinning either in the city. Just just charming, just so charming.
I was like, is this is this payback for when
I was the obnoxious art school kid who was singing
harmonies of my original song with my friends on the
train in the way you know it was fifteen.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
Absolutely, this is carm.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
Fuck you for making us little than of that. Here's
this lady now aside from you know her, the dude
also telling me that I could talk all day because
my lady bits probably didn't smell good either, or the
preacher lady who told everyone that she was not going
(10:24):
to shut up because she was personally Gabriel's horn.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
Also great.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
The CTA also did, however, give me my husband. That
is where I met my husband on the disgusting red line.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
Oh there's a meat cute in this story.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
There's actually a meet cute. It's much later, you know, like,
just imagine a meat cute that smells like pee.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
Yeah right, you know, some of this that happens sometimes has.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
A bottle of night train rolling around on it when
you didn't think anyone saw that anymore. And yet here
it is empty at six am. I uh, I had
passed him one other time, his Staarbucks mine. There was
a good morning, good morning. It was again it was
early two thousands. It was exciting to have a Starbucks
(11:18):
open up in your neighborhood. You were like, oh, I
can have Coffeeoh like a vanilla solatte. Gross passed me.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
Shut up and drink your coffee.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
Because before this, my favorite coffee shop was, you know,
one you could smoke in and a very wonderful, bitter
old man would pour me regular or decaff and that's
all he had.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
Yeah, it's Joe's coffee, cup of Joe.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
That's right. And snacks that he bought at the jewel
that day. I have cake today. Thank you, Don up
selling Don's Coffee Club. Amazing place. But uh so there
was a good morning, good morning, and I thought was like,
there's a cupe by in my neighborhood. That's neat. That
was pretty much the last I thought of that. And
(12:05):
uh and so I got on the train and I'm
I'm reading my books. See this time, I'm prepared. I
now have a book to shove my face into just
in case. Uh, And I and I look up and
I and I see the cute guy and and we're
doing there. I know it's a podcast. I have to
figure out an audio. Weaight to do the looking up
and smirking and looking down and looking up and you know,
(12:30):
trying not to be a complete asshole about it, but
you know you're looking up and blink and it's cute.
Yea And he no, that was the second time. Okay,
so no, So we're doing the we're doing the googly
I thing. And I had a transfer at Belmont. I
knocked into a guy on my way out because I
was looking at him. So that was super smooth. I
felt real good about that. I was like, I am
(12:54):
good job, okay, so uh and then I started doing
I used to do my make up on the train.
I was one of those people that I learned later
was a type of person that people did.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
Not like it with the harmonizing and oh god.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
I mean what, Dick, just let me read the train lady.
Why But I mean, I'm full eyeliner, like I got
a whole like I got a whole thing going like.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
I mean, that's impressive though eyeliner on. There's a lot
of movement on a trade, you know, I know, I know.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
I could also sleep until I dreamt and not miss
my stop. I mean, I had this down.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
I'm wow.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
However, if I start with the window too long, totally
missed my stop and I'm going to be late. But
you know I could do a full face of makeup
and have a catnap. I just can't normal people right, right, right,
So I'm not going to do a guy my way.
I start doing my makeup at home just in case
I run into Kukai again.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
Yeah, and it's.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
Right, you know, I can't. I can't be caught off guard.
I I did see him again a couple of weeks later.
It was a little while, and in this time we're
both standing and he will not look at me. He refuses,
he's looking down. He's avoiding me at all costs, and
so my brain just starts to pick him apart. Fine, whatever, whatever,
(14:12):
I need you with your two arms, in your hair,
don't care.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
Got your face, your shoes, your regular shoes.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
Just regular normal people shoes. I thought you were special,
because you're not, so whatever, don't look at me. Fine, fine,
in fact, I'm gonna be upset if you do.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
Let me check didn't look at me ever. Again.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
I would prefer it if we never made eyes at
each other, and I would tell you that. But I'm
not going to speak to you. So I start to
get off at Belmont again because this guy, yeah, and
uh my brain actually started to yell at me like, hey, hey,
you dumb bitch. I don't know if you have noticed,
but that whatever that was that happened back there, that
(14:55):
doesn't happen. It doesn't happen. This train is disgusting, and
that awesome thing happened to you, and don't leave. So
I let the crowd push me into him, and I
put my bag down on his foot. That's like, I
just gasped a little bit, like one of the balsiest
things I've every good. I'm like, oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1 (15:17):
Did I crush your toe a little bit? And like
keep my bag and so my bad.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
Yeps. So you know, we start talking because I've made
us talk now, and I was terrified that if we
started talking it would ruin everything. You know, start talking
about hunting and yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:37):
Well my name's Herman, and you know, okay, where did that,
or he would be like, you know, Jesus is dead
and right now, oh shit, it's you.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
Just pulls off the mask.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
I knew it. How did you get along?
Speaker 2 (15:56):
Cond so you're very good at masks? How did you
get taller.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
Platform?
Speaker 2 (16:05):
Stilty?
Speaker 1 (16:08):
Give me them funnions?
Speaker 2 (16:10):
Damn it?
Speaker 1 (16:11):
It was all for the funds.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
Jesus here, so you know. And he was he was
reading Twelfth Night, which you know, and I was in
a show with the guy, the guy who played my
husband in that show was also He's like, well, I'm
auditioning for him, Like so is this guy I'm in
a show with. And they wound up in it together.
And you know, he lived around the corner and he
(16:33):
worked where I used to, and well in the building.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
Where was he a malvolio or wash?
Speaker 2 (16:41):
He was? No, that was midsummer when he was who
he was? Oh my god, Oh no, isn't it. Nope,
that's is in midsommer summer. No, he was in midsommer.
He was yus and he was lying.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
I also played Snug the Joiner.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
Fantastic, of course you did. I love that story, you ladies.
Speaker 1 (17:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
No, he's in a therapy session right now. It's probably
really not a good idea for me to be like, hey,
who were you.
Speaker 1 (17:10):
Twelve n and twelve? Sir Anthony?
Speaker 2 (17:13):
I think maybe you know that was the guy who
I who played my husband was any damn it? All right,
I'll have to ask him, like he was really good.
And that was another thing, is like, you know, we
had just started dating and I had to go see
him act. Yeah, and in Shakespeare. I'm like, please don't suck.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
I know. Yeah, that's always that's always the risk where
it's like my girlfriend, she's an artist, and when she
first showed me or I was like, oh, I hope
this isn't terrible. And then I was like, oh, you're
super good, You're super talented. Yep.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
I was like, because I can't keep dating you, because
I can't keep lying to you. I can't I can't
encourage you to do something that you're very bad at.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
Right, Yeah, I can't live that life.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
No, So fortunate I didn't have to, but so yeah,
so we we got to talking about that, you know,
and I immediately called my friend who worked at DDB
with him, and I'm like, I need you to find
out about this person. He's like that guy everyone keeps
confusing me for that guy because we're both tall.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
And that's it.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
So that all you got, how you.
Speaker 1 (18:09):
Have on him?
Speaker 2 (18:10):
Okay? So yeah, then we went on our first date
December fifteenth, two thousand and two. Okay, yeah, so we're
coming up on twenty years now, so that yeah from
the red light?
Speaker 1 (18:23):
Oh my god? And who asked? Did you ask him?
How did the date come? Like? How did you pop
the question or did he finally ask you?
Speaker 2 (18:33):
We exchanged to email addresses again early internet, where that
was like, you won't get lost in spam. This is
probably fine, yeah, because otherwise you're giving your home number,
your landline, right, it's personal for word, right, So yeah,
I think he did, he suggested, And we went to
Moody's in Chicago for our first date, which was perfect
(18:56):
and we had a lovely time and I made sure
to kick him out.
Speaker 1 (19:03):
That I relate. That happened to be my first date
with my girlfriend now, who I've been together for nine years.
First date, we went to a really nice dinner. Then
we were drinking whiskey out on her porch and we
were watching these two lesbian neighbors have this really intense
fight and they kept fighting and then making out and
fighting and we were just like, this is a soap
op rather than maze. And then there was also some
(19:25):
stray cats that were having a fight too in the alleyway.
There was just it was just like it was better
than TV. And then and then she she invited me
into her room to like give me this tie that
I had left or that she had stolen from me
one night, and then we like started kissing and then
I took off my shoes and she was like, what
are you doing? And I was like, I thought we
(19:46):
were gonna get on the bed and I didn't want
to get my shoes on your bed. And she was like,
we're not getting on the bed. Put your shoes back off.
Speaker 2 (19:52):
Put your damps on, get out.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
Yeah that's exactly what happened.
Speaker 2 (19:56):
Oh no, full disclosure. We absolutely, we absolutely did that.
We did all of that shoes off and the whole thing.
But then I was like, okay, get out, Nelly. I
don't I don't want you waking up here in either
of us going oh no, because I think you're very lovely,
so get out.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
Yeah. See I did even get there. I just got
two shoes off, and she was like, what's What do
you think you're doing while taking.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
It's very presumptuous of you thinking I want to see
your toes.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
Yeah, but I also just I didn't want to people
get my shoes on earth.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
You're trying to be polite.
Speaker 1 (20:29):
It was presumptuous and polite at the same time.
Speaker 2 (20:32):
I was very assuming, also very concerned about your duvet.
Speaker 1 (20:35):
Yeah exactly, I just I didn't want so embarrassing putting
the shoes back. I guess they're not slip on stoo,
So I got it right. So I gotta tie and
relace these.
Speaker 2 (20:50):
Hold on their dress shoes.
Speaker 1 (20:51):
It's been lazy their knee high boots that.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
They got some hook eyes. One second, I just got it.
I want the buckles. Stupid, stupid.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
Okay, really, it has been fun.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
You have a good night and a clean bed. I'm
gonna go.
Speaker 1 (21:13):
Oh what a cute me and cute.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
It was very cute. We we we got engaged and
then broke up and then moved apart. Yeah, we broke
our landlord's heart when we told them because my landlords
would not let me move in with my previous boyfriend. Okay,
they were hilarious, amazing people. I just asked what the
(21:38):
price of a two bedroom would be. And the patriarch
of the family, Gus, was like, no, you don't want
to do that. I was like, but what I just
want to know? How much is no? No, Gus, how
much is that not? You do that? And then something
happens and you got you got an apartment you can't
pay for. Oh something's good. Well that's rude. But also
(22:01):
they would come in to do work and sometimes do
my dishes. I'm like, June, did you do that?
Speaker 1 (22:07):
Well?
Speaker 2 (22:07):
They were just there. I just thought, June sumptuous and
polite and polite. Oh god. They had to redo some
pipes and like had to tear apart my closet at
one point, and she's and all of my shoes had
been moved to under my bed and she's like, those
are a lot of shoes. I was, all your shoes.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
You might have a problem, thanks, June.
Speaker 2 (22:28):
They came in to fix something one day and like
they didn't tell me, and they'd bust in and they're
yelling at each other. I'm like, Gus, you cannot talk
to your wife that way at ten o'clock in the
morning in.
Speaker 1 (22:37):
My house, inside my bedroom.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
Inside my bed, and he just palms me at twenty
and he's like, go get some breakfast.
Speaker 1 (22:43):
You don't want to hear this.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
He brought me a table. He's like, I don't like it.
You don't know how a cocktail table?
Speaker 1 (22:50):
What?
Speaker 2 (22:51):
An air conditioner, a toaster? Things would just show up
in my house. They are the greatest, weirdest landlords I've
ever had.
Speaker 1 (22:57):
Really and blurring the lines.
Speaker 2 (22:59):
Oh yeah. And then they met my husband and instead
of like he would he would gesture for my ex
because he was short, which I'm short but he and
so was Gus. But he was like, where's and he
would like hold his hand up like short guy.
Speaker 1 (23:13):
Yay, hi right.
Speaker 2 (23:15):
I was like what. And for my husband he was like,
where's Captain America? Oh?
Speaker 1 (23:19):
All right?
Speaker 2 (23:20):
And then one day he's like, you need a bigger apartment.
Speaker 1 (23:23):
He did.
Speaker 2 (23:23):
He's like, Gus approves you may now continue your relationship.
He was like, you need a bigger apartment. I'm gonna
I'm gonna start showing you apartments. I'm like, okay, he did.
He gave us a I moved within the building. Two
gorgeous apartments in the same building, just unbelievable, cleanest building
I've ever seen in my life.
Speaker 1 (23:43):
Did did he make a speech at your wedding?
Speaker 2 (23:47):
Sad? No, he should have. I should have invited the travelss.
But no, he actually passed away shortly after he uh
picked out our apartment. Oh god, so telling you know,
his his widow and and the daughter like, I'm so sorry.
But she's like, I can't believe it didn't work out.
I'm so sorry. You need anything you come back by
(24:08):
either of you. We just love you.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
So they were so sweet, you need anything except more shoes.
Speaker 2 (24:13):
Right, because I'm not gonna I'm not going to enable
you like that concern for you, concerned but and judgmental.
Speaker 1 (24:20):
Still.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
Oh, when they were trying to show the place, like
they came in, looked at my bathroom and she looks
at the at the tub and she's like, well, I'm
gonna have to comment that, but that'll be okay. I'm like,
I did.
Speaker 1 (24:31):
No, not enough. You gotta put that back into it.
You I'll bow grace in there.
Speaker 2 (24:36):
I mean, if you tried, it's worse than my mother.
So we broke up for a bit, uh, and we
moved apart. We got back together very quickly, but we
stayed living apart because we'd already made arrangements. It's a
long time and this was working out pretty well. Uh
(24:56):
so our uh save the dates for when we got
re engage, which was also very cute, just said in
very pretty script. It just said, seriously on them so weird, seriously, seriously, No,
we're gonna do it this time. When I told my
mother the second time we got engaged, she was like, oh,
well good. I was like, well, excuse me. She's like, well,
(25:18):
if you were gonna marry him, I was going to like, really, mom,
And yes, my mother was a fifty year smoker from Brooklyn.
Not to be confused with the Satan Lady. They're foy
different people. We were doing, uh the only production that
I directed for the theater company that I ran for
like twelve years. And at the end of the show,
(25:38):
my husband was supposed to propose to a woman that
he doesn't really know. He'd just been talking to her
in the lobby all night in this small town. You know,
So you're gonna marry me or what? And she's like, no,
I don't think so, mister Faber. He's like, all right,
like that kind of thing whatever, and the whole and
it was a dress rehearsal, because no man I would marry,
would ruin a fucking performance by proposing to me in
(26:02):
the middle. No one paid for that, No one wants
to see that.
Speaker 1 (26:04):
That's a selfish move.
Speaker 2 (26:06):
It's a very selfish move. Just no one. No one
here cares. They came to see the show.
Speaker 1 (26:10):
What are you doing if you If you do it
on one show, then you have to do it every show,
and then you have to recreate that kind of emotion
and that discovery every time.
Speaker 2 (26:18):
And our future is based on a performance.
Speaker 1 (26:21):
It's not a lie. Yeah, it's a lie.
Speaker 2 (26:22):
It's a lie.
Speaker 1 (26:23):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
It was a dress rehearsal. And there was like two
minutes left of the play after he proposes, and he
told the people that it would affect but the whole night,
all my notes are like, why the fuck is your
character so fucking chipper? Like he's this disheveled business man
who's just very down in his luck, and I'm like, man,
a little step in your step.
Speaker 1 (26:45):
Yeah, tone it down.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
You're supposed to be bitter and jaded, and you're just like.
Speaker 1 (26:53):
You. Why did you sing half of your lines?
Speaker 2 (26:56):
Did you skip just now? I think you did? Clearly
that was a pot of barret as you exited the stage,
and I do not approve. So he asks, you know,
is you gonna marry me one? And she's like, no,
mister favor. He said, that's all right, I have someone
else in mind, and he walks out and to me
and drops to it and I was like, oh, no, I
(27:18):
didn't know. Don't read these notes? Did you have notes
on the proposal? I copious, copious notes.
Speaker 1 (27:28):
No.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
I stopped at that point and I told him I
think he was trying to get out of those notes.
Speaker 1 (27:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:34):
It was pretty adorable. It was pretty It was pretty cute.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
That is that's sweet. No notes, no notes on the proposal.
Speaker 2 (27:42):
No notes.
Speaker 1 (27:43):
You know.
Speaker 2 (27:43):
He was going to do it on the train, but
there was too much peace and someone was smoking.
Speaker 1 (27:48):
Yeah, too many Satanists.
Speaker 2 (27:50):
They were having a convention, and we just didn't want to.
Speaker 1 (27:53):
He could have done it. You could have press the
button and been like, hear you, hear you all you
know travelers on this trade.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
Here's the person I would like to spend the rest
of my days with. In car fifty four to seventeen.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
Shut up, shut your mouth, this is my stop. We
got to stop pressing the buttons. It's for the conductor, right.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
Trying to see the Cobs game. So that's that's those
are those are? I mean, that's kind of my mash
up of this of what the CTA gave us.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
All. Yeah, I mean, it's a roller coaster. You never
know what you're going to get on the on the CTA, No, And.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
For a while their slogan was absolutely unironically, take it,
take it, CTA, take it. I'm like, did anyone think
this all? I bet you did think this through.
Speaker 1 (28:39):
It's the same it's the same company that was doing
the slogan for South Dakota, which what they had a
meth problem and their slogan was meth We're on it.
I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's true. It's very true.
Speaker 2 (28:59):
Why it's just you and a couple of bison right now,
it's it.
Speaker 1 (29:03):
We're on it.
Speaker 2 (29:04):
We're on it. Yeah, you want to be on it too,
Come visit. You don't need teeth.
Speaker 1 (29:10):
Let's go. We were on it.
Speaker 2 (29:12):
We're on it. So fun. It's a great time.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
And then so now it's been almost twenty years, right
or has it been twenty It'll.
Speaker 2 (29:20):
Be twenty in December. Oh yeah, hell yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:23):
You guys should go for a ride on the on
the train.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
We're gonna go back to Chicago. Get on the train. Yeah,
push the button. See what happens, right? I mean, why not? Honestly,
I go back to Chicago a lot, so that we'll
have to or you've had that in there.
Speaker 1 (29:37):
You could. You could bring back the play that you
guys were doing.
Speaker 2 (29:40):
We could. I did love that show. Actually did not
a lot of other people did, but I thought it
was great.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
Read mount it, read mount the show. Get the cast
back together, Come on, I get the bad back together. Everybody,
let us do it.
Speaker 2 (29:53):
It's a depressing show about a small town. Let's go
archa no American notes. Yeah, familiar, very very weird, wonderful
kind of just small town Americana kind of show.
Speaker 1 (30:09):
I love it.
Speaker 2 (30:09):
And it was like just little bits. And what I
loved is our set designers actually built these little platforms,
these little wagons that just kind of moved in and out.
So they were very detailed because it was like just
a chair with a bunch of shits arounding it. Yeah,
just a little bit of a bar. So they just
kind of moved in and out of this small town.
And I loved it.
Speaker 1 (30:26):
I just loved it. I got to read that I'm
always looking for I just read I did this in college,
but just came back to Bob Rauschenberg America, the Chuck
Me play, which I if you I've read. It's also
it's a very much a little slice of Americana, and
it's a lot of little vignettes.
Speaker 2 (30:43):
And yeah, that's probably I'm gonna guess, because this tells
me it's probably a little better.
Speaker 1 (30:51):
He's the most performed playwright living playwright because he makes
everything public domain. Just he says, to do my play
is for free. I don't care.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
That's definitely a good call. We produced a show once
we were just talking about this was a Clive Barker play, okay,
called Frankenstein and Love. I look back at that and went, oh, no,
there's a lot of problems there. But Clive Barker knew
that it was so difficult to do that. The rights
(31:20):
were a dollar.
Speaker 1 (31:21):
Oh good luck.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
Yeah, I mean honestly, he's like, have fun, that's the
way that so much blood.
Speaker 1 (31:29):
Yeah, it's like you got to buy all these wedding
dresses and cover them in blood. It's a dollar.
Speaker 2 (31:35):
So many parts, so many baby parts. We were calling
a place called Dapper Cadaver Ordering the Dismemberment Special.
Speaker 1 (31:42):
There have you really? Yeah, there's one in in the
Valley in Los Angeles and that's where you're from. You Yeah, okay,
I've been there. It's crazy. It's a wild wild it's impressive.
Speaker 2 (31:56):
Like I can only imagine going in there.
Speaker 1 (31:59):
I can't remember why. Oh, we were renting a coffin
or for a sketch, like you do. We were shooting
a sketch that was it was a three sixty video POV.
Oh yeah, of you being the person in the you
(32:19):
being the dead person. Nope, absolutely in the coffin. And
then it was this like this parade of your family
members and ex girlfriend or whatever all showing up and
like it's confessing horrible things and crying and you know,
it's just this shit show funeral.
Speaker 2 (32:36):
That I'm here for. That just not the lowering into
the ground park. Let's not do that.
Speaker 1 (32:40):
No, No, that wasn't in there. I mean the I
was the creepy priest and there was a closing of
the coffin at the end of it. But but yeah,
that's why that's why we went to the African Ever.
Speaker 2 (32:50):
Yeap, it would just had people non on arms and things.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
A lot of severed limbs, aliens and yep, it's really
impressive what they do there. This episode is brought to
you by Dapper cad.
Speaker 2 (33:02):
Ever sponsors daper could Ever.
Speaker 1 (33:15):
Let's play a little bit of a first, first, last, best, worst.
Let's yes, why don't we do worsts and we do
all we run through the gamut of worst. All right,
let's go, okay, so worst job.
Speaker 2 (33:27):
Okay, see now there's there's like a tie faction, right.
It's gonna have to probably be my first one though,
because it was telemarketing, and it was telemarketing to businesses
across the country selling ads with PSAs attached for their
local radio station. So like I'm calling Decatur, Georgia, going
(33:51):
through the Yellow Pages and there's a book of like.
Speaker 1 (33:56):
Of p s.
Speaker 2 (33:57):
As you know, back to school is like safety and
domestic abuse is real popular right now. And then you've
got here's the ad for an automotive company, here's the
ad for and you're going to read this whole fucking
thing if you can get to it. And I am
fifteen years old, you know, windowless, smoke filled office of
(34:20):
harassment and bad coffee.
Speaker 1 (34:23):
Yeah, I can smell that office right now, right, I
can taste it, you can. Yeah. And also there's just
like depression in the air.
Speaker 2 (34:32):
Oh oh, it's yellowing the walls more than the smoke,
like it's and then you're writing your your sales on
a whiteboard. You know it's got this sad Glengarry Glenn
Ross with none of the wealth. Right, you know you're
selling Phoenix, Arizona. And you're like, and that's brought to
you by Mike's Auto Supply. Where service is more than
a word, it's a fact. It's a fact based on
(34:53):
the care replace and satisfying each one of our customers,
Like you're going to get through that whole thing, oh man.
And then and you're like, who, Mike, that was a mouthful.
So what do you say you got thirty seconds for
four ninety nine?
Speaker 1 (35:06):
Yeah, I mean it's it.
Speaker 2 (35:10):
I didn't have a lot of a soul left at
that point, and there wasn't much to squash. But I
did start drinking coffee, I started drinking alcohol. I mean
it wasn't too far behind. And then I started a
second job at a casual corner at the mall. But
I had to keep all of my clothes for it
upstairs and keep my hair tightly pulled back because of
(35:31):
the smoke smell. I wouldn't show up. Reeking Corner, Oh,
casual corner is a place in Amal where when you
pick out an item of clothing, I have to find
you ten items to mix ayat with that.
Speaker 1 (35:49):
Wow, you get all the outfits, so many shoulder at
the ads. Yeah, sounds kind of like a blouse barn
or something.
Speaker 2 (35:56):
It's I got blouse barn a slack stand.
Speaker 1 (36:03):
Yeah, it could be sort of a khaki corner too.
Speaker 2 (36:07):
I dressed deeple.
Speaker 1 (36:09):
How long did you last at the at the telemarketing job?
Speaker 2 (36:13):
Longer than I should have a couple of years. And
they let me take the job to college. I was
able to take phone books with me from these places
to college, so I could make some extra money as
though anyway, and I have to record when I'm selling,
like you know, with a tape recording. Tell me you're
doing it?
Speaker 1 (36:32):
Wow?
Speaker 2 (36:32):
Yeah I didn't. I didn't sell anything.
Speaker 1 (36:35):
We're are those tapes now?
Speaker 2 (36:37):
I don't know. I'm concerned I should find them. I
could not sell the South, No, I could sell some
of the South. I had to fake an accent I
could not sell the West Coast. To save my life,
I could say I could sell the East Coast. I
talked too fast. I had to change my name. My
maiden name is Foyerstein.
Speaker 1 (36:58):
Uh huh.
Speaker 2 (37:00):
I knew that people around the country would not like that.
Speaker 1 (37:02):
That's yeah, that's a depressing fact. Yep.
Speaker 2 (37:06):
So I had to be Corey Peters.
Speaker 1 (37:09):
I thought you were. I feel like a lot of times,
especially with Indian telemarketers, they choose like president's names to
be like and then I'm John Adams and you know,
it's like, it's not okay.
Speaker 2 (37:23):
Why'd you pick that one? I mean I could say
that for any president you choose why why that one?
Speaker 1 (37:28):
I'm Tyler Polk. Wait it was Tyler Polk. Is his
name Tyler?
Speaker 2 (37:35):
Or is it j James James K Polk?
Speaker 1 (37:38):
Yeah, I was. But the president before Polk was was Tyler.
I think that's why combined Tyler Polk, Taylor, and Fillmore
that's my those are my names.
Speaker 2 (37:48):
I'm John F taft are you? I don't think that's right?
Speaker 1 (37:54):
Washington and Adams, Jefferson and Madison that is that's me. Okay,
So that's the worst. That was the worst job.
Speaker 2 (38:04):
Now I was also a singing, dancing waiter on a
cruise ship on the Spirit of Chicago, and you knew
it was time for the show when our black and
white best got flipped around to be golden.
Speaker 1 (38:14):
Mat Oh, Mama, that sounds like the best job.
Speaker 2 (38:19):
I mean, it kind of was for a little while.
I can't lie.
Speaker 1 (38:22):
I've also been a singing waiter, and I definitely enjoyed
my time. I enjoyed the singing aspect of the waiting.
I liked the singing part more than the serving. Oh
there was there was this one guy. I worked at
this restaurant called c Ando Tratoria in uh In, Venice,
and they come around once a night or twice a
(38:42):
night and we sing That's amore, and all the waiters
come around with glasses and they cheers the gas basically
to get them to drink more. But we're all drinking
diet coke or whatever, like we're not, you know, drinking wine.
And then when we would sing Happy Birthday, we'd sing
it in Italian. I'm remember the first time I went
out to sing it. I went up and I did
(39:03):
the harmony, and this waiter came back and he was
like he had been there a while, and he was like, hey,
did you do the Do you do the high harmony
on the on the Happy Birthday? And I was like,
oh yeah. He was like, that's my harmony. Oh and
I was like what. He's like, yeah, that's uh I
do the high harmony. And I was like, that's okay,
get the get the fuck out of my note, Get
the fuck off my harmony faces and I was like, well,
(39:25):
it's not yours. It's a harmony and belongs to the universe,
so fuck off.
Speaker 2 (39:30):
Fine, I'll find a fifth What do you think about that?
Come in, don't. I will dissonant the fuck out of
this court.
Speaker 1 (39:37):
Watch. I just keep trying to one up each other
and get.
Speaker 2 (39:43):
Till one of you just suddenly makes it minor and
you're like, ah.
Speaker 1 (39:46):
God, really, I will butcher that Italian version of happy Birthdays. Gross.
Speaker 2 (39:53):
It's dark.
Speaker 1 (39:54):
It's real dark.
Speaker 2 (39:56):
I feel sad.
Speaker 1 (39:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (39:57):
Yeah, I did slaughter so many pop too, so that
I can't hear anymore without like thinking of a lot
of three pointer turns or like clapping with the mic
in your hand, just clapping your wrist.
Speaker 1 (40:09):
Okay, so that's the worst job. Let's go to let's
go worst kiss.
Speaker 2 (40:17):
Oh, yeah, it was.
Speaker 1 (40:19):
It was an early one and I feel like it
was the last one that I had.
Speaker 2 (40:24):
Yeah, it was. It was just in the other room.
And I don't know how to tell my husband. He's
terrible at this. I had just moved to Melrose Park
and you know, like so I think I had like
a neighborhood boyfriend for a second, you know, and as
new kid, that was exciting. Was before like I started
school and I thought he was so nice.
Speaker 1 (40:46):
How old are we we are?
Speaker 2 (40:49):
Let's see, we're like thirteen fourteen, Okay.
Speaker 1 (40:53):
So eighth grade is middle school too? High school?
Speaker 2 (40:57):
Like yeah, into high school like not first ever, but
like first like I feel grown up now kind of thing.
You know, I had middle school boyfriends.
Speaker 1 (41:04):
Yea.
Speaker 2 (41:06):
So I was like, you know, I'm new kid, this
is adult time now, so okay, like yeah, and then yeah,
I was bad. I avoided him. I did not want
to see him anymore because it was like a labrador
just really loved your face and too much. It's a
little demigorgonesque. Just it's a lot going on, like just
(41:30):
the whole face. And I was like, ah, that was bad.
I did not, like I'm so damp on my face.
Speaker 1 (41:38):
Full towel wipe down after that?
Speaker 2 (41:41):
How did you do that? How did you even enclose
your mouth?
Speaker 1 (41:44):
Like I unhinge my jaw. That's like my move, that's
what that's like my specialty.
Speaker 2 (41:50):
You know, I'm just gonna swallow you hole like Diana
taking down a hamster and v like.
Speaker 1 (41:54):
Have you ever seen Blade two? That's kind of that's
what I do. My lower jaw is kind of just.
Speaker 2 (42:04):
I thought he was such a nice kid too, and
I was like I and I kept avoiding him, and
he's like asking my friends, like where is she? She's
not around. I don't know where she is. Like I
totally chickened out. I did not tell him like I
can't kiss stuff.
Speaker 1 (42:17):
Yeah, you don't want to break his you know, his young,
fragile heart.
Speaker 2 (42:22):
I know, And but I did anyway by completely avoiding
him forever.
Speaker 1 (42:25):
But that may have been the better move than the
brutal honesty of him being a terrible But who knows,
maybe he'd kept kissing like that to this day. Maybe
nobody's told him.
Speaker 2 (42:37):
Maybe so no one was just like, you know, shook
themselves off like a dog after a bath.
Speaker 1 (42:43):
Why is my hair wet?
Speaker 2 (42:44):
How did you do that.
Speaker 1 (42:47):
Jesus.
Speaker 2 (42:47):
I mean, his breath wasn't horrible, so at least there
was that. But I mean, but since I was wearing
it can smell your teeth.
Speaker 1 (42:59):
Okay, so that it's the worst kiss for sure. Okay,
let's do one more. Let's say, what about party? Is
worst party a possible one?
Speaker 2 (43:05):
I mean there's always a bad party, right, Like there's
there's the party that I lied to my mother that
I said I wasn't going to that I went to.
You know that my mother, who never locked the door
in Melrose Park, locked the door because she knew I
was going to come home, like because she knew I
was gonna lie. You know, right where I tried to
drink beer with college kids and threw up a lot.
Here we go with the throwing up, I would say
(43:27):
because of the aftermath. No, that wasn't the one I
threw that was pretty bad. But in college there was
one across the street that I went to, and I
think the party itself was fine, maybe, but I.
Speaker 1 (43:46):
It was my behavior that was.
Speaker 2 (43:47):
Yeah, it's when I woke up covered in my own vomit.
That was like that that's bad. That's not good. Oh no, no, No,
the one that I threw. I wound up crying at
the end. Okay, So so we decided to throw a party. Yeah,
and you know, we had a terrible apartment.
Speaker 1 (44:01):
And this is in college. Yeah, okay.
Speaker 2 (44:03):
And there's the guy who always made the yellow shots
at his parties, right, like, those dude's yellow shots are legendary.
Our standards were so low, and he gave me his recipe.
Speaker 1 (44:13):
Right. Also, kids, now don't understand that when we used
to have edibles at parties, you had no idea how
much weed was in them. Now everything's so like scientifically
dosed out and you know exactly how much. But you
would eat a brownie and just be like, well, good luck,
good luck to me. Who knows that could have been
(44:35):
a pound of weed in that thing. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (44:37):
I might be in the hospital. I really don't know.
I just took ecstasy from someone in a bathroom at
a club in London.
Speaker 1 (44:43):
Hope I live, right, I did? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (44:51):
So true. I remember like guarding all of the poppers
for people to do the nightdress at parties. I'm like, well,
how many of you had and when's the last time
you had one? Well, no, you're not.
Speaker 1 (45:00):
How much oxygen have you breathed in between nineties.
Speaker 2 (45:03):
I can't have you brain damaged in this thing.
Speaker 1 (45:05):
You've got to breathe some more oxygen. Take a little
oxygen break.
Speaker 2 (45:08):
I'll come back around.
Speaker 1 (45:09):
So weird. Every high school party I went to there
was a nose tank, and I was just like, this
is normal, this is what we do.
Speaker 2 (45:15):
Why that's wrong with us?
Speaker 1 (45:18):
So dumb?
Speaker 2 (45:19):
We had to go to the adult bookstore to ask Cartridges,
like what the fuck? Well, I mean the fact that
those are even there, Like, we didn't know this is normal.
So the dude, to his credit, was like, you want
to make the first batch really strong to warn everyone
so they act accordingly, And I was like, cool, good,
good to know. He was talking about vodka, and I
(45:41):
made them with ever Clear because I was college sophomore
trash Yeah, in addition to buying a brand new trash
can to make punch in.
Speaker 1 (45:53):
That's that's kind that you at least got a new
one that you didn't just like wash out the old one.
Speaker 2 (45:58):
Yeah, yeah, I thought that would Yeah, I'd like it.
And the universe was like, don't drink because every time
I tried the first time I put my cup in
the punch thing there was a hole in my cup.
The second time, someone was walking upstairs and literally kicked
my cup out of my hand, Like the fuck man,
I did wind up. No, that didn't happen yet. It
(46:20):
wasn't to my junior yar that I threw up so
hard at peed. That was that was later, but I did.
There was some some dude I liked who wasn't there
or interested or something.
Speaker 1 (46:31):
Who can say.
Speaker 2 (46:32):
And I'm newly on birth control and out of my
mind on hormones. I have no idea what's wrong with me.
And I'm just sobbing outside by myself and the most pathetic,
hilarious moment. And I knew it at the time, but
it just gets funnier to me as I get older.
Is I felt an arm around my waist to comfort
(46:53):
me as I cried, and I was like, oh, and
I look at it. It's just a stray cat wrapping itself. Oh,
probably giving me fleas. And I was like, of course
you're not a person.
Speaker 1 (47:08):
But thanks for being here.
Speaker 2 (47:10):
That's really nice of you. My friend came to visit,
passed out in my bed, had the kid. Oh it
was a TI die party too, because we're very stupid and.
Speaker 1 (47:25):
Wait, were you wear tie things or were you were
tie dyeing thing? What a mess with you get super
drunk and then like play with die?
Speaker 2 (47:36):
Yeah, and let's have the Fiddler from the current production
Fiddler on the Roof put his head in the die sink. No,
like just smiling, going DK no, wait.
Speaker 1 (47:48):
It's not going to come out. No it didn't.
Speaker 2 (47:53):
So I think just for the sheer train wreck that
I was, I'll call that. I'll call that the worst one.
Speaker 1 (47:59):
I love that. I love that respecond of it. Well,
I mean, is there any moral to all of these stories?
Is there some through line, some thread that we can
tie it all together?
Speaker 2 (48:13):
Uh, just don't be trash, like, don't try not to
be a complete mess at these things, and maybe it
won't be terrible.
Speaker 1 (48:21):
Yeah. And so you never know where where love will
will rear its head, whether it's a future husband or
a straight cat.
Speaker 2 (48:32):
You don't know. You don't know who's out there ready
to love you. It could be Satan lady, it could
be your future husband. Yeah, you know, I will say
on a random party, I was waiting tables and I
was training, So all the tips, you know, go to
the person that's training you, right, right, on your last
(48:54):
they're shadowing you on the list I had. The last
table was a table full of drunken British businessmen, and
they were right, and they were closing down the place.
They were incensed when they found out that the tips
were not going to me. I'm like, it's fine, this
is just how it works.
Speaker 1 (49:08):
No love, no love, a bang up job. No, it's
got to go to you.
Speaker 2 (49:14):
It's brilliant, a brilliant and this is this is absolute,
absolute rubbish.
Speaker 1 (49:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (49:20):
So he's like, what are you doing Saturday nine. I'm like,
I am not going anywhere with you. He's like no, no, no, no, no, no,
no no, and he hands me three temporary tattoos and
he says, I want you to take these. These are
your tickets to this party, okay, And I'm like, a,
sure they are, but I called to you my friends.
I'm like, here's something that could be a complete mess.
(49:42):
And so we put the tattoos on and sure enough,
it's a big party for their software company in the
middle of Soldier Field with a giant tent and fireworks
with Donna Summer and Blood, Sweat and Tears performing Oh
My Yead and they're like, look, it's a waitress for
the other night.
Speaker 1 (50:03):
What a fun? What a fun?
Speaker 2 (50:04):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (50:05):
If screw wristbands, temporary tattoos are way better, like ticket
to the party, way better.
Speaker 2 (50:11):
More fun. Probably somehow economically friendly or environmentally friendly. Yeah,
maybe not. I don't know, but we're doing that.
Speaker 1 (50:19):
I like it, Yeah, I love it.
Speaker 2 (50:21):
Be open, Try not to get too messy.
Speaker 1 (50:25):
That's that's it, right there, Be open, try not to
get too messy. That's it. I'm gonna I want that
on a poster hanging in my office. Yeah, with a
stray cat and and a homeless woman, and like a
handsome Captain America.
Speaker 2 (50:41):
Yes, it's like a kitten in a tree.
Speaker 1 (50:44):
Pushing a Yeah, Captain America is like throwing a shield
right at the unhoused woman. Yeah. Yeah, but she's got
Satan powers. She's gonna be an awesome If anybody listening
is a graphic designer wants to make we will post it.
We will post it to our Instagram. Please send it.
Speaker 2 (51:03):
I will sell it on my merchhop and make sure
you get all of the prosins.
Speaker 1 (51:08):
Please. Awesome. Well, Corbette, thank you so very much.
Speaker 2 (51:13):
Thank you for having me. I appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (51:16):
Well, that about does it. For this week's episode of
Hashtag story Time. Thanks again to Corbett for making time
to come on the pod. Head on down to the
description for all of those sweet sweet links. Take a
second right now and hit subscribe so you don't miss
next week's episode. We've got a fable family EP coming
at you, so give us a call at the Storytime
hotline three two, three, seven, four one eighteen seventy three
(51:37):
and tell us your story and we'll put you in
the next episode. Seriously, give us a call. I dare
you do it? Also, if you're enjoying the podcast, please
leave us a review. It helps us out a lot
and I literally read every single one. Hashtag Storytime is
produced by iHeartRadio and Curativity Productions, Hosted by Will McFadden,
Sound designed by Tony maddox, written by Will McFadden and
Jason Shapiro, Produced by Jason Shapiro and Daniellamrame. Song by
(52:00):
Scott Simonds MHM
Host
Will McFadden
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