"Breaking a Bone" w/ Dash Turner

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Who Do Who. Special announcement alert, I repeat special announcement alert.
If you live in the city of San Francisco, California,
we are doing a big, jam packed Stradio Lab live
show on Friday, January seventeenth at Cobbs Comedy Club as
part of SF's Sketch Fest. We cannot wait to see you, guys.
Tickets are available in our Instagram bios and on linktreed

(00:21):
dot com, slash Stradio Lab. That's l I n K
t r ee dot com slash Stradio Lab. Tell your friends,
spread the word. This is one of the biggest shows
we've ever done. It's our first time doing Sketch Fest.
We cannot wait to see you. We can't wait to
be in San Francisco in January and escape the frigid
New York cold and also I guess the very warm

(00:43):
Los Angeles weather for Sam and we can't wait to
see you January seventeenth at Cobbs Comedy Club, part of
SF Sketch Fest. See you there and enjoy the show.

Speaker 2 (01:13):
Podcast starts now, what's up everyone? I'm being completely normal
and George's treating me like I'm being insane. Hi, I
am not looking at anything else but the screen.

Speaker 1 (01:22):
Okay, cool, cool cool. There was a I think it
might not have been intentional, but the vibe of you
started a sentence and it was almost like you were
in the middle of like doing emails and you and
someone called you and you were like, so we're here.
It's Sunday.

Speaker 2 (01:38):
Yeah, oh my god, like.

Speaker 1 (01:40):
You were scrolling or something. This is so much I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 (01:44):
Podcast starts now.

Speaker 1 (01:46):
No, oh my god. We are not keeping this in anyway.
What's up? How's your Sunday? It's dark, it's dark where
you are, it's fully dark. Ram you know, it's it's tough.
It's tough, these things that everyone talks about every year,
you know, daylight savings, holiday depression, blah blah blah. Because

(02:06):
you want to be like you want to be above it,
you know, you want to be like, sure, that's what
that's what normies talk about. That's that's small talk, small
talk topics. You know, what do I want.

Speaker 2 (02:16):
To talk about it?

Speaker 1 (02:17):
I want to talk about the state of democracy. I
want to talk about the state of you know, the
complete failure of the global art market. I want to
talk about things that matter. But of course, you know,
if it's getting dark at three thirty pm. You're going
to want to talk about that. That's not normal.

Speaker 2 (02:33):
I actually think it speaks to how poor our memories
are because the way that it happens every single year,
and every single year, I'm like, this is unethical, this
is wrong, This needs to be stopped, and and like,
there's no way it was this bad last year, And
and yet I know, I'm pretty sure it is always
the same. It's always the same, but every year, I

(02:55):
think it's an injustice that needs that can be stopped.

Speaker 1 (02:58):
But isn't it beautiful that we get to have that
sense of childlike wonder. I actually, I actually would prefer
this sort of like the performance of you know, getting
into the holiday spirit but also having a little having
a little melancholy because of the weather and talking about

(03:18):
holiday travel and talking about gift giving. And then suddenly
it's January and you're like, oh god, I have seasonal depression.
There's something. It's like, what are you gonna do? Not
let things affect you and just go through life dead eyed,
looking straight ahead.

Speaker 2 (03:33):
I mean, but there is I guess I think there
should be a limit in this life to how many
times I can be affected in surprise.

Speaker 1 (03:40):
No, it's true. It's true because the more you're affected
by just the passing of time, the less energy you
have to actually be affected by more interesting things.

Speaker 2 (03:51):
Yeah, I'm feeling persecuted. Why I'm feeling persecuted, you know,
it's just those days where I can't do anything right? Look,
anything right?

Speaker 1 (04:05):
You were talking about this before, You're You're like, you're
having a day.

Speaker 2 (04:12):
I am having a day. Yeah, I keep doing this thing.
Do you ever? So I was around children last week
for the holiday, and I was like, you know when
you're around kids and you're like, oh no, I'm a
child as well, like like oh no, they're like little

(04:33):
outbursts are like literally what I do on any given day.
Like there was a point where, like, you know, the
three year old is like I don't want chips, I
don't want cheese its, I don't want goldfish, And it's
like what do you want? And they're like food and
it's like and I'm like, damn, I literally do that,
Like I'm doing that right now, Like right now.

Speaker 1 (04:50):
I think like me or like ordering takeout and being
like I just want something good. And then Matthew's like,
do want tie? Do you want Mexican. Do you want Chinese?

Speaker 2 (04:58):
I'm like no, and like I'm thinking about what I'm
going to do after this recording and the way that
genuinely nothing will make me happy, Like I as soon
as the recording is done, there is nothing that I
can do that I will enjoy. So that's an awesome feeling.

Speaker 1 (05:16):
This is quite literally why you why we all have
to have kids and have a traditional family, because then
what happens is you're an adult in your thirties and
you are like over analyzing which specialty drink would make
you happier in order to like pump some energy into
your afternoon, like it literally and this is this is
at the center of why you know, people think quote

(05:41):
unquote millennials are narcissistic. This is at the center of
why people think that people that live in la are
out of touch. It's like it all comes down to,
just like, Okay, so you get to that point where
you're in your earlier mid thirties. Unless there's something else
that comes into your life that you have to take
care of, all you have is specialty drinks.

Speaker 2 (06:01):
You're really trying You're on this new kick where you're
trying to make a case for children in a in
sort of a roundabout interesting way.

Speaker 1 (06:08):
No, No, I see what you're saying, and I actually
children to me is a is a symbol of something bigger.
It's like, if it's not children, then it should be
Then it could be like founding a company. If it's
not founding a company, then it can be God forbid
taking care of an ailing family member. But there is something,
there is some new responsibility that has to come into

(06:30):
your life at this stage otherwise you lose your mind.
And that's where like a midlife crisis comes from.

Speaker 2 (06:36):
I hear what you're saying. So what you're saying sort
of is like you will be unhappy regardless, so stop
trying to chase your joy and start like having some
responsibilities so you actually have a reason to be unhappy.

Speaker 1 (06:48):
I don't even think it's having a reason to be unhappy.
I think it's limiting the amount of time you can
dedicate to just free wheeling thought, because there's only so
many places you're rank can go. And of course, the ideal,
the ideal thing is being, you know, an urban intellectual,
childless urban intellectual who's independently wealthy, and you have the

(07:11):
discipline to fill your time with books, documentary film. Uh,
you know, multiple memberships to repertory theater and cinema around
the city and all this stuff. Going to the ballet. Yes,
like in an ideal world you have the discipline to
fill your time with things that matter, but that just
is not realistic for.

Speaker 2 (07:30):
Most of us.

Speaker 1 (07:31):
I and that's my discipline, you do, I have that, Sam.
I'm sorry I'm not seeing it today, George.

Speaker 2 (07:37):
But you're but you're missing the big the big picture here. Yeah,
there's context. Of course. It's a Sunday after a holiday week.
I see, I am returning to the office. It's I'm
feeling the crash, the lack of freedom. The public intellectual
wouldn't have to worry about work tomorrow, and the public
intellectual could go to the ballet and even be like,

(08:00):
let's get a cocktail afterwards, because because se la vi.
Because all I have to do is get to the
gym tomorrow by eleven and then I have a lunch
meeting at one, and then I can spend the afternoon
following my thoughts until I go to the theater again.
And I have this there's such a time limit, and
I'm like, I might as well be at work right now,
because what you're saying, it's already here.

Speaker 1 (08:22):
And I want to apologize publicly because I am now
only now realizing you are in a state that I
can't relate to, which is you were traveling for Thanksgiving
and now you have the one day back before work,
whereas I didn't travel for Thanksgiving. I basically just had
like a very sort of chill staycation and you know,

(08:42):
eating Thanksgiving leftovers for three days and going to a
show last night, and like it's been pretty cozy over here.

Speaker 2 (08:49):
And not to be a bitch, so I'm being such
a brat, but like we also traveled to Toronto, like
it was like yeah, like this is like we went
to Toronto, then we went to Virginia and then I'm
back and I'm like I didn't even when was my
chill time except.

Speaker 1 (09:03):
For now I work. Yes, yes, yes, I see.

Speaker 2 (09:07):
So I'm being a prat.

Speaker 1 (09:10):
Well, should we bring in our guests and maybe you
can take it out on him.

Speaker 2 (09:18):
Oh no, Look, I'm I want to publicly apologize. I
know how this is coming off, and it's not coming
off glowing.

Speaker 1 (09:27):
You do not have to publicly apologize. He has to.

Speaker 2 (09:29):
I do because I know how people will hear this,
and they would be right because it would be annoying
to listen to. So with that, I don't know, I disagree.

Speaker 1 (09:41):
I feel like now that we've contextualized it, like I
think it's a very relatable feeling the feeling of being
in this limital space between vacation and work or between
family time and home time.

Speaker 2 (09:55):
Yeah, it's relatable, but it's also like, you know, you're
we're here to like be a little more playful than
that I feel or something. It's also like it's so
relatable that it's like, yeah, you have a job, like,
grow up, everyone does, you know, Like it's not something
to like complain about. It's like yeah, duh.

Speaker 1 (10:17):
But but I do think this goes back to my
thing about either having kids or founding a business, Like
it's that's how you escape that, that's how you escape
the mundane nature of like problems like like cyclical problems
like this. Yeah, wait, let's bring in our guests though, Okay, okay,
please welcome our dear friend Dash Turner.

Speaker 3 (10:40):
Bitch, thank you. Also, why did you flee the country
for Thanksgiving?

Speaker 2 (10:45):
Wit?

Speaker 1 (10:45):
We went to Toronto for a show and then Sam
from there went directly to Virginia to see his family
for Thanksgiving. Okay, yeah, so okay, the way I have
being undermined, No, everyone's every single person, and every single
person is being undermined from all angles. It's actually crazy.

(11:07):
No one has the upperhand, right, Well, can I say also,
the way I've avoided any kind of on we that
Sam has described is I dedicated myself years ago to
unlocking all of the good gun camos and call of duty,
and that has provided me with a sense of you know,
task fulfillment, goal fulfillment.

Speaker 3 (11:24):
That has completely freed me from any need to have
children or real responsibilities.

Speaker 1 (11:29):
Okay, so you should be considering, bitch, you have the
self discipline I was talking about, except it's for playing
call of duty rather than attending the ballet.

Speaker 2 (11:37):
Right?

Speaker 1 (11:37):
Did you go to the ballet last night? Was that
the show you went to? No? I went to Dina Martina.

Speaker 3 (11:42):
Oh, Dina Martina drag queen.

Speaker 1 (11:45):
Oh, she's a famously queen, sort of a drag queen
that transcends the the binary of good versus bad. I
was trying every drag queen well, to some extent, but
I was trying to last It's night thirteen. That's insane.
What are you doing playing Call of Duty? Yeah?

Speaker 3 (12:05):
Right, going to the skate park, playing paintball?

Speaker 1 (12:08):
I think where it's like you're ironically straight or something.
It's not ironic.

Speaker 2 (12:14):
Well, do you want to speak on it?

Speaker 1 (12:16):
Speak on it? What the hell is the deal?

Speaker 3 (12:18):
What's I are like? The idea of terror formation, like
turning a foreign planet into kind of a livable space. Actually,
that's not even the right concept to describe this. I
just think it's more fun and more chill.

Speaker 1 (12:32):
You like fun and more chill to be straight acting?
It's no, not am I straight acting?

Speaker 2 (12:37):
No?

Speaker 1 (12:37):
Not straight acting? Okay, okay, so having straight interests right.

Speaker 3 (12:41):
Well, the thing is also it's more fun. There's like
I also ambat at theater and that's pretty much everything
kind of you guys do.

Speaker 1 (12:48):
We're actually not in the theater part of gay culture,
believe it. You're so adjacent to.

Speaker 2 (12:54):
It though, So wo as a person who does comedy.

Speaker 1 (12:58):
You literally are a stand up media Yeah, but.

Speaker 3 (13:01):
I'm doing thoughtful and almost like subversive.

Speaker 1 (13:03):
Way right, right, So you like skateboarding, baggy clothes, ball, paintball,
Call of Duty reading, but like nonfiction books that are
about war.

Speaker 3 (13:18):
I'm reading one about RNA right now, are you from right?

Speaker 1 (13:21):
Exactly?

Speaker 2 (13:21):
I'm not familiar.

Speaker 1 (13:22):
It's the messenger of the cell.

Speaker 2 (13:25):
Oh, RNA, got it? Got it? What I thought you
were saying. I think you're saying like our and a
like like it's some sort of like I was imagining,
like a financial book, like.

Speaker 1 (13:35):
Oh, yeah, you're reading about MNA, about mergers and like
sad poor dad.

Speaker 2 (13:39):
Yeah, totally yeah.

Speaker 1 (13:40):
Are you reading Freakonomics?

Speaker 3 (13:41):
Yeah, yeah, exactly. The rich Dade poor guy is like
in super prison, right or he like died. I think
I think he got card. Yeah, but he thought of
the phrase rich dad, poor dad. And that's more than
most of us can say. We've said this before. I
can't remember if we said it the Live sho or whatever.
But like for nonfiction books, if you just come up
with a good title, or even a good subtitle, you
should get a Nobel prize. Like the fact that someone

(14:02):
came up with Freakonomics and it's about how economic models
are not sufficient.

Speaker 1 (14:07):
It's like that's genius.

Speaker 2 (14:09):
Yeah, the book could be empty, and it would and
then it would fly off the shells.

Speaker 1 (14:13):
Yes, literally, are you kidding me? The power of habit
give that man one billion dollars.

Speaker 2 (14:22):
Hello, Dash, I want to I'm like, does does having
call of duty genuinely stop the the moodiness and financial.

Speaker 1 (14:34):
Dread a little bit?

Speaker 3 (14:35):
Because it allows you to shut your brain off, but
you're still doing something. I think a lot of other
things that allow you to shut your brain off, is
like scrolling social media, but you're not doing anything, and
so ultimately the brain is able to almost overpower that.
And yes, circle back to ONWI. Also, it's kind of
like a reflection back into yourself because you can compare
the people whose lives you're like viewing via all these

(14:56):
apps back to your own be like, oh, they're hotter
than May, they're on more trips to Italy or whatever
the fuck they do than me.

Speaker 2 (15:03):
I think everyone's a.

Speaker 1 (15:04):
Really interesting Okay. I think whether or not your brain
is activated versus quote unquote shut off when you're on
social media is an endlessly interesting question because yes, you
are doing it as a way to like turn off
your brain and massage your brain and be brain dead
if you will. But on the other hand, the stimuli,

(15:26):
unlike in Call of Duty, the stimuli actually are activating
like really bad parts of your brain. They're activating like annoyance, jealousy,
even just like negative, the feeling you get when you
look at a bad piece of art, just like negativity.
And so there should be a social media that's where

(15:49):
you're scrolling and it's just colors.

Speaker 2 (15:52):
That's kind of what Tumblr was.

Speaker 1 (15:54):
But do you think so? Because to me, Tumblr, you're
scrolling and then suddenly you get a photo that's like
a Sofia Coppola movie and it says a quote. But
then you're like, I disagree with that quote, and then
suddenly you're angry.

Speaker 2 (16:06):
I just feel like I know what you're saying, like Tumblr,
but it was the closest to that, I think, yeah,
because it was like essentially like no one was like
this is my quote, Like it was like a Sophia
Coppola quote, and it's like, sure, that's fun to see for
a second. Next one, can I make it corrective? Please?

Speaker 3 (16:24):
George was so wrong, and you're also wrong. What actually
needs to happen with the social media platform is what
is good about call of duty? You have you're tapping
into the kill instinct, tapping on things you're kind of
it's not passive, no, it's not. It's active and you're
actually actively like harming other people.

Speaker 1 (16:40):
So makes me The issue with social media is that
you're almost like you become infuriated with your own passivity,
Like any feeling you have of like annoyance, negativity, jealousy,
it all boils down to I hate myself for being passive.

Speaker 2 (16:56):
Dash. I want to ask. The downside to a called
duty though, is like they're also causing harm to you,
Like yeah.

Speaker 3 (17:03):
But it feels good high acupuncture, Like they're trying to
hurt you in acupuncture, but you've become stronger for it.

Speaker 2 (17:11):
Because I I have gotten into my online gaming eras specifically,
I was extremely into playing Super Smash Gows online and
I was very competitive and I would like it was
your main Cannon Dorff, and I was like, fuck wild
old because he's old, and I would be so I
would like get upset like I would when I would

(17:35):
be doing well. I'd be like, this is awesome. And
then if like someone was like beating me and especially
in what in a way that I felt was like
not tactful, I would be so angry with them and
I would like it would feel like injustice in the world.

Speaker 3 (17:48):
M hm, well, that's what I would always play as
Caribbean just do down be over and over and over again,
which turns him into like a brick that is like unbeatable.

Speaker 1 (17:56):
M m, so it's.

Speaker 2 (17:58):
Actually very beatable. You just put on your shield.

Speaker 3 (18:00):
Well I was also five when I did that, and
all my friends were five, so they had not yet
solved that. But also I will say, don't you feel
like the uh, the pain, like the negati feeling that
you're feeling there almost kind of resets you back to
like a healthy place, Like don't you feel like you
need the.

Speaker 1 (18:18):
The video game negative feeling? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (18:21):
Huh, I know you you're saying.

Speaker 3 (18:24):
And sometimes like a Tumbler quote where it's like you
need to like experience like lows to understand the value
of highs.

Speaker 2 (18:29):
Sure, well it did teach me, you know, the power
of walking away, I think, because it was like there
were points where I was like, Okay, you know what,
I actually just have to accept that that person beat
me and I have to move on and don't hit
like rematch because that's when it gets really really nasty.

Speaker 3 (18:49):
Video game.

Speaker 1 (18:50):
No, I don't know anything about like abacuses or whatever.
In Greece, right, No, they have video games. I just
I can't play video games. That's sorry. No, that is good,
and it's virtuous.

Speaker 2 (19:02):
It's virtuous. Well, it's I do think it's like if
you don't start start I'm young, then you're not gonna
pick it up.

Speaker 1 (19:07):
I think it was always so alienating to me, and
I'm not. I don't mean like I do things that
are way more harmful to me. It's not like what
I think. Yeah, like what like I definitely think scrolling
social media is more harmful than playing Call of Duty,
and I do that for hours at a time. I
think that I often will like hate read things, like
I will intentionally read something that I know was written

(19:29):
by someone I think is stupid or someone I think
is wrong, or someone I think has the wrong politics,
almost as a form of self harm, because I want
to like see what's out there, and then I get
into a hole where I'm like reading responses to it
and I'm like, well, those are also stupid, and I
never it never results in like me writing something, or
me even not even writing something for public consumption, but
even writing my thoughts down in like a journal a

(19:51):
journaling way. It's just like filling my head with negative thoughts.
So I don't it's not that I think I'm too
good for video games. It's that I have to say,
from when I was a kid, it was also alien
I would like, try so hard to get into a
video game, and I'd be like, this is not enjoyable.
It's like how I felt with sports, where I was like,
why does everyone think it's fun to kick a ball around?

(20:12):
I don't get it. You're so gay.

Speaker 2 (20:14):
I love it. I'm so interesting.

Speaker 1 (20:17):
And actually, I have to say, realizing later in life,
that I thought that all of us rejected video games,
and it turns out I was wrong. All gay guys
are secretly playing video games for seven hours a day.
It's been very disorienting because I'm like, hello, I thought
that was like sports. I thought we were all like
felt alienated during kickball and wanted to go and you know,

(20:41):
watch the movie Saved starring Mandy Moore.

Speaker 2 (20:45):
Literally, if I didn't have video games strowing up, I
don't know how I would have socialized at all. Like
that was how that was. Like you go to someone's house,
they're like, do you want to leave me ale combat?
You're like yes, that's like the only way I socialized
do sports either, I did sports, but I did like
soccer growing up, and then I in high school transitioned
into just like track, cross country swimming, so which I uh,

(21:13):
I think I got to five oh two at one point.
Oh wow, good for you, but that was yeah, but
I never broke five and I always wanted to.

Speaker 1 (21:23):
It might be too late.

Speaker 2 (21:25):
It's too late.

Speaker 3 (21:26):
Wait can we piv back to hate reads really quick? Yeah, George,
did you read the or did you hate read the
big one from last week?

Speaker 2 (21:33):
That one?

Speaker 1 (21:33):
Oh? No, because I was like, it's sort of less.
So that was the people's you know, people's disagreements with
that was that it was just like stylistically awful and
that he was like romanticizing Quorwick McCarthy, like writing leve
letters to a sixteen year old, which of course I
disagree with, but that's not going to necessarily scratch the

(21:55):
itch I'm talking about. I'm more talking about like people
like that I disagree with politically making an argument and
then me reading it and being furious because I can
imagine what I would say to them if we were
on a debate stage.

Speaker 3 (22:10):
So you're like on Bobby Jindahl's like log.

Speaker 1 (22:13):
Sort of Oh yeah, I mean maybe not that far
but basically, Dash, I have a question. You can be
so real with me.

Speaker 2 (22:21):
Do you said you want the villain? Edit? Do you
feel like in a lot of social circles you're the villain?
Or do you just feel extra comfortable with.

Speaker 3 (22:27):
Us actually the latter. Wait, no, well I'm mean to a.

Speaker 1 (22:33):
Lot of people, So actually both Okay. I think you
being mean is sort of on the same along the
same lines of you liking straight things, like it's sort
of a way for you to be an edge. Lord.
Is you're like looking me right in the eyes and saying,
I'm reading a book about RNA and you're tempting me to,

(22:53):
you know, to either make fun of you because of
that or to like ask about it. And it's like
that's toxic. Like that is actually the equivalent of you know,
Trump saying that you know immigrants are evil or something,
because it's like it is setting me up for failure.
I can't actually if I debate that on his terms,

(23:14):
he's already won.

Speaker 3 (23:15):
Right, Is it that or is it me trying to
add an element of surprise to your life? That is,
I would say, otherwise kind of not being provided to us.

Speaker 1 (23:23):
I think that's fair. I think you're saying that, like
in my life, there's a limited selection of activities someone
I know could be doing at any given time. Yes,
and reading a book about RNA is outside of that
select collection of activities. So you're providing a new experience

(23:44):
from us.

Speaker 3 (23:45):
I think it makes life feel more rich when more
people are doing more types of things.

Speaker 1 (23:49):
Like but here's okay, here's my counterpoint.

Speaker 3 (23:51):
To that genres of music, or you're not coming.

Speaker 1 (23:53):
You're not coming at me and saying did you know
this fun fact about RNA that applies to something we're
talking about. You're actually like looking me straight in the
eyes and as a provocation, saying I'm reading a book
about RNA. Period.

Speaker 3 (24:07):
Wait, George, do you want to be provoked one more time?

Speaker 2 (24:09):
Yes?

Speaker 3 (24:10):
I realized the T shirt I'm wearing today is actually
Yanni's Ethnicity album cover, So I'm kind of using your
culture as my costume as well.

Speaker 1 (24:20):
Wow, No, I actually love that surprising. Yanni is like
uh I at some point he was almost like a
cultural punchline, and I think people have forgotten about him.
So the more we can talk to sure, the more
we can sort of raise awareness. I did not know
he had an album called ethnicity. By the way, that's iconic.
He kind of went for it.

Speaker 2 (24:40):
No, that's a bad swing.

Speaker 1 (24:42):
That's that's a great, big swing. Yeah, it's like it's
not actually offensive to anyone. It's just like it's just
a funny to name your album ethnicity.

Speaker 2 (24:49):
Yeah, Dash, what are your gay interests? Yeah?

Speaker 3 (24:53):
What are my gay interests?

Speaker 2 (24:58):
Oh?

Speaker 3 (24:58):
I like Madonna. I got really in to music by
Madonna earlier today, So that was big for.

Speaker 2 (25:03):
Me today two hours ago.

Speaker 3 (25:04):
Music the song or music album Music the album Don't
Tell Me obviously was kind of the entry point. Loved
a lot going on in there that I would say
is worth a listen. I also had a huge Ray
of Light phase a few years ago.

Speaker 1 (25:17):
Well that was like the fifth or fourth or fifth.

Speaker 3 (25:20):
Time I had COVID, and I think it like triggered
a form of psychosis that made me so much more
amenable to Madonna's music.

Speaker 1 (25:26):
Well, that's sort of how she entered her Ray of
Light era. Is the fourth or fifth time you do something,
In her case, it was releasing an album. You enter
a psychosis where you need, you know, either kabbala or
yoga or some other alternative spiritual practice, and for you
it was listening to ray of light and that is
what guided you through the COVID experience.

Speaker 2 (25:48):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (25:49):
For her, yoga guided her through a motherhood. You motherhood,
and of course her relationship with guy Richie. Has anybody
seen her kid in like twenty years, which one first
of all multiple kids?

Speaker 2 (26:01):
Madonna, sweetheart?

Speaker 1 (26:03):
Okay, can I just say something because this is also
this is also part of your personality that I think
is a provocation. Dash will literally look you like in
your face and be like, who is Charlie's throne?

Speaker 3 (26:15):
It's it's kind of something I do more with George
than other people.

Speaker 1 (26:18):
That's but it's like your refusal to know. And the
thing is, I can't be mad about it because actually
the fact that you don't know Madonna has a million
kids from like five different countries is good. There's no
reason anyone should know that. I am not proud of
myself for knowing that. I just it is just something
that I have to know, just like I have to
know that like Ronald Reagan was once president.

Speaker 3 (26:37):
Right, Well, you have like arcane knowledge about older women.

Speaker 1 (26:42):
In the way that many in the way that many
gay men do. I don't think I have it more
than the average person in my demographic.

Speaker 2 (26:49):
Right, I there was like that. I think the New
York Magazine profile of lord Does Madonna's daughter where she
was like living in Bushwick and like she was like
had rejected being a musician forever, and then she was like,
I'm ready to be a pop star. And that was
the last I ever heard. But I remember her saying

(27:09):
she loved living in Bushwick because she could go on
vacation because the rent was cheaper.

Speaker 1 (27:15):
It's actually true, which.

Speaker 2 (27:17):
I thought was really.

Speaker 1 (27:21):
Yeah, I mean, I can't she.

Speaker 3 (27:22):
Buried these children or was she like paying women to.

Speaker 1 (27:25):
She adopted some She well, Lordas and Rocco, how much
time do you have to adopted? Lords and Rocco are
her biological children. Rocco is with Guy Richie, and Lordis
is with oh god, I'm forgetting his first name, but
leon Is is Lorda's last name. And then after that

(27:46):
she started adopting how many hundreds, quite a few. Famously,
she adopted children from Malawi and she was doing a
lot of charity work in Malawi. Malawi on the map
she stole Madonna's thing. It was around the same time,
but I do think Madonna started doing it first.

Speaker 3 (28:04):
Rights racing there.

Speaker 2 (28:09):
Bidding a bidding war. Should we do.

Speaker 1 (28:13):
Our first Carlos Leon is Lord Dad. Yes, let's do
our first segment. Okay, Dash. Our first segment is called
straight Shooters, and in this segment, we test your familiarity
with in complicity and straight culture by asking you a
series of rapid fire questions where you have to choose
this thing or this other thing. And the one rule
is you can't ask any follow up questions about how

(28:35):
the game works. And if you do, I'm gonna start
playing some Madonna b sides that are not gonna sit
well with you. Well, I'm not worried because I'm gonna
ace this bitch. Okay, Dash, tuck everlasting or fuck that
was long lasting?

Speaker 3 (28:53):
That was good talk everlasting because I like when the
bitch falls out of the tree.

Speaker 1 (28:57):
Mm hmm.

Speaker 2 (28:59):
Okay, solving the puzzle or slashing in a puddle.

Speaker 3 (29:05):
Mm hmm. I think slashing in a puddle. Mess can
be fun.

Speaker 1 (29:11):
Casting a wide net or fasting except for one baguette.

Speaker 3 (29:16):
That's so gay, which, by the way, no problem casting
a wide net. Fishermen are like are fun?

Speaker 2 (29:26):
Yeah, okay to see telling a dog to sit or
telling your boss. I quit.

Speaker 1 (29:33):
M mm hmm.

Speaker 3 (29:37):
Really telling your boss I quit because I'm kind of
anti pet right now?

Speaker 2 (29:43):
Oh wow, I get that.

Speaker 1 (29:45):
Yeah, we can circle back to that, circle back to
that I'm in I'm in that space. Harvard Barnard or Ardvark.

Speaker 3 (29:55):
Mm hmmm, I'm thinking Ardvark. Yeah, there's something about the
Eastern colleges that just doesn't sit right with me.

Speaker 2 (30:05):
Okay, use your name taken or I usually add bacon.

Speaker 3 (30:11):
No, use your name taken.

Speaker 1 (30:15):
We are being surveilled or we are skiing in veil.

Speaker 3 (30:19):
I love gang stalking right now, so I think we
are being surveilled.

Speaker 1 (30:23):
What's gang stocking?

Speaker 3 (30:25):
I saw someone use it on Twitter. It's like people,
It's like Q or something like people are being stalked.

Speaker 2 (30:30):
Oh well, we'll circle back. Okay, luck of the Irish
or funk off.

Speaker 3 (30:36):
I'm pissed, funck off, I'm pissed.

Speaker 1 (30:41):
Is pissed supposed to rhyme with Irish?

Speaker 2 (30:43):
Yeah, okay, I got it. I'm pissed. Rhyme, I'm pissed.

Speaker 1 (30:47):
Oh I'm pissed Irish? Yeah got it, gotta got it.

Speaker 2 (30:52):
That's good.

Speaker 1 (30:53):
Yeah, well, okay, Dash, I actually think you did really well.

Speaker 2 (30:57):
I think you did a really good job. I think
first of all, you added you treated that sort of
as like a conversation starter. Yeah, in a way. That
was interesting. So I'm gonna go ahead and say seven
and eighty nine doves, which is huge out of one thousand.

(31:19):
And I also want.

Speaker 3 (31:20):
To Sam, I know that's low.

Speaker 1 (31:22):
Keep going.

Speaker 2 (31:23):
Well, if you're thinking we create it linearly, then yes.

Speaker 3 (31:27):
Right, great, deflation is the thing here.

Speaker 2 (31:29):
Now tell me about your pets theory.

Speaker 1 (31:33):
Yeah, I want to know about pets. This is, of
course one of the most controversial subjects one could ever
talk about on a podcast, because both pet people and
anti pet people are insane and not normal.

Speaker 3 (31:45):
Especially like pity people or pit bowl people. But we
can't get into this at all because they will take
you down. Okay, so my thing about pets, well as
somebody who's still vaguely is in New York a lot
and kind of you know, yeah, no one knows.

Speaker 2 (32:00):
Yeah, it's actually very confusing.

Speaker 3 (32:02):
I will say, when when you see me in your city,
that's less an indicator that I live there and more
than it's like an omen or something. You're a Canarian
the coal mine sort of exact, so you should run
and prepare for the worst. Uh, there are too many
dogs in New York, no worries. There are too many.
There should be a lottery system where people lose their dogs.

(32:26):
Like it's I think fifty percent fewer dogs in New
York would be right. They're just too many, and they're
in restaurants, which is like such an ordinary twenty eighteen
thing to complain about. But it's like, I'm kind of
sick of it at this point. I do I like dogs,
I don't like the people who own the dogs oftentimes.
I also think people need to start doing like iguanas
and shit like that.

Speaker 2 (32:44):
I don't know, Well, that's this is the paintball call
of duty jumping out saying people should get iguanas.

Speaker 3 (32:50):
But it's also like a more contained pet and it's
a more interesting world if more.

Speaker 1 (32:55):
But there's also dogs that need to be rescued. Thoughts,
that's such a good point, release them in the wild.

Speaker 2 (33:06):
I think I feel it's funny that you brought up
New York because I feel like LA is so the quintessential, like,
oh yeah, yes, there's a service dog in the restaurant
that like clearly doesn't even allow dogs, but they put
a little vest on it.

Speaker 3 (33:19):
Yeah, and it's like biting like three people literally shitting
a proof.

Speaker 2 (33:24):
Yeah, this damn. I talked about this on the previous episode.
But I watched this person order for roughly twenty five
minutes this morning at a restaurant.

Speaker 3 (33:31):
And people will wait forty minutes in line and then
get to the front and then.

Speaker 1 (33:34):
Like sit in the lotus position and.

Speaker 3 (33:36):
Like meditate on their order for an almost impossible amount
of time.

Speaker 2 (33:40):
But this guy was also he had a dog with
him and he was holding the dog. I didn't even
notice he was fully choking the dog, like holding it
up to where it couldn't touch the ground and it
was like dangling by its neck for like minutes. And
then his wife was like, Daniel, the dog is being choked,

(34:00):
and he's like, oh my god, instead of down And
I was like, how can you be that unaware? You're
like wasting upwards of one hour in this line and
then you're choking your dog at the big moment. It
was so crazy. I've never seen such like lazy lazy
dog ownership.

Speaker 1 (34:18):
How do you feel as a dog owner, Sam.

Speaker 2 (34:21):
I feel that everyone is correct. I feel that I
think I noticed it more in La I think more
people have dogs, but they also treat them more like
children in a way that bothers me. I have very
my dad and me where I'm like, the dog is
a dog, and you know you have to respect it
and treat it right, but you also have to remember

(34:42):
it's a dog. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (34:44):
Yeah, I've sort of come out like feeling pretty zen
about the whole thing because I'm like, yes, I agree
that I both agree that pet owners can be annoying,
and I agree that people who are you know, fervently
anti pet need to take a chill pill and be
grateful for what they have in their lives. Yeah, but
I'm also like, ultimately, the issue, as with everything, is

(35:07):
that some people are very annoying, and they're gonna be
annoying when they have pets, and they're gonna be annoying
in other ways when they don't have pets. Like, get
back to me when that person you think is an
annoying dog owner no longer has a dog and then
gets involved in local politics, because let me tell you something,
it is not going to be pretty. That personality has
to go somewhere, and it's actually for probably a form
of harm reduction if it goes towards dog ownership, then

(35:28):
if it goes towards like city planning, it's like I
just and I think this is not just with Like,
I think this is very much the case with like
when people talk about influencers or it's like, yeah, those
people would put that energy somewhere else if they weren't
influencers hawking skincare products, like they would be at the
front desk at the airport and treating you like insane

(35:51):
and not being able to like take simple directions to
write them down because they're too busy like making OnlyFans
content under the table or whatever.

Speaker 2 (36:00):
Yeah, no, totally. Oh well, I'm glad we circled back
to that. Should we get into our topic.

Speaker 1 (36:07):
Yeah, let's get into our topic. And actually I like
doing this dash. Do you want to, just before we begin,
go through your entire list, just one by one, because
I think that can be a fun activity.

Speaker 2 (36:19):
And on the one that we're actually gonna do, of course, yes.

Speaker 3 (36:21):
I'll end on that one. Yes, as someone who's kind
of I would say a mastery of straight culture. Yeah,
so far beyond what George and Sam have. I obviously
pulled from my kind of tone. I'm kidding I love
you guys.

Speaker 1 (36:32):
I mean I do think you probably do know more
about straight culture and specifically straight American culture than we do. Right, well, yeah,
you guys are kind of pontificating from the kind of
we're armchair. Yeah, we're a priori. What are the two things?

Speaker 3 (36:48):
Oh yeah, yeah, so you got it right. And I'm
kind of like Jane Goodall.

Speaker 1 (36:54):
Oh yeah, you're with the monkeys.

Speaker 3 (36:55):
Yeah, I'm living amongst them, said, I'm kind of Marie
kind of you know, with the plutonium.

Speaker 2 (37:02):
I have a follow up question when we circle back
to this.

Speaker 1 (37:05):
There's so much circle this circling back happening. It's like amaze.

Speaker 3 (37:08):
It's like David Foster Wallace like end notes.

Speaker 2 (37:11):
Yeah, or should I not circle back to I just
ask you right now, ask Dash how much of this
is like, are you attracted to straight men?

Speaker 1 (37:19):
I'm not.

Speaker 2 (37:19):
Oh so, there's nothing about you that's like playing paintball
with the boys, and you get like a little bit
hard every.

Speaker 1 (37:26):
Time you're not turned on by it. You just genuinely
like it's completely.

Speaker 2 (37:30):
Pure within me, not even a little turned on. No.

Speaker 3 (37:33):
Well, because the thing about straight guys too is a
lot of them don't really like God bless them. Of course,
if any of you are listening, which they shouldn't be,
I love you guys, they should.

Speaker 1 (37:44):
Be they do sadly, but not sadly. Sorry, I I
send my love out to every I actually I genuinely
did not mean that that was that that was an
instinct of some sort. I actually I am very grateful
when straight guys listen. But keep going.

Speaker 3 (37:59):
I'm I hang a ton of traps for you, guys,
and you're falling into all of them. They're just so
non sexual when they're like with the boys, a little
bit to be attracted to them would be hard.

Speaker 1 (38:11):
Does that make sense? No? You disagree?

Speaker 2 (38:13):
I fully disagree. I think that's they're so non sexual
that it circles back and they become sexual again. Right,
Like then they just are doing it. They think they're
in private, and so they're saying.

Speaker 1 (38:24):
Stuff that it's the ultimate vulnerability.

Speaker 2 (38:26):
They're showing things that you would never see otherwise. Like
what like they're ball SAgs, brother.

Speaker 1 (38:35):
That's actually true. Flash Yeah, and no, there's a way
where not to be gender essentialists. But it's like for
a woman to be vulnerable, it's it's in private and
it's you know, she trusts her friend or her husband,
or her mother or her father, and she like says something.
But men are the most vulnerable when they are literally

(38:55):
in public transportation, like when they are at a football game,
when they are at the tailgate, when they are like
out with their wife at dinner. It's it's shocking. I
actually think they are way because they're so terrified of vulnerability.
They're way more guarded when they are like alone with
one or two people.

Speaker 2 (39:12):
Yeah, if you can get them with the boys, you're
seeing a real different side. Yeah, kind sometimes it's jarring,
but sometimes it's hot.

Speaker 1 (39:18):
That's why it's so when you have kids. It's way
more dangerous for boys to be in a big group together,
whereas what's dangerous for girls is for them to be
in like a group of two or three, because then
they'll start bullying each other, you know what I mean.

Speaker 3 (39:31):
Well, so I feel like female vulnerability is them like
talking about how they're like processing grief a little bit
as well.

Speaker 2 (39:37):
Yeah, yeah, yes, it just.

Speaker 3 (39:39):
It just feels very different when when a guy is.

Speaker 1 (39:40):
So whereas straight eyes process grief by taking up three
seats at like a football game and then taking out
their penis and masturbating.

Speaker 2 (39:51):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (39:51):
I remember when I moved to New York. One of
my first times taking like the two train to work
in the morning at like seven forty five am, there
was a guy who like looked otherwise normal, fully like
rubbing himself under his pants on the train, and it
really was like, my guess, go on, that'll happen, right.

Speaker 2 (40:08):
Yeah. No. It took me a while to get flashed
on the train, and when I did, I was like, wait,
you're hot. This is so wild, Sam. I just couldn't
have seen that coming.

Speaker 1 (40:26):
There really are no limits to the things you will
find you.

Speaker 2 (40:34):
I get it, bitch. Yeah, okay, so tell us your
list now.

Speaker 1 (40:37):
Somebody tell us your list. Okay.

Speaker 3 (40:40):
This is abridged Xbox Live, which we kind of got
to touch on, which was kind of awesome for me.

Speaker 1 (40:47):
Yea, not to brag.

Speaker 3 (40:49):
Regional accents other than Southern, agreed. I feel like Sweet Home,
Alabama and like the gay guy in that who gets
outed like fifteen times, that made it gay to be Southern.

Speaker 2 (41:00):
So I think.

Speaker 1 (41:01):
Southern is gay. Like if you do imagine someone with
like just a big colorful shirt just being like ah hey,
y'all like that, it's it is gay.

Speaker 2 (41:12):
Yeah, it's gay.

Speaker 3 (41:13):
It's I don't know what genteel is, but whatever it is.
Feel it feels like there's.

Speaker 2 (41:17):
A pageantry to it.

Speaker 1 (41:18):
Yeah, yes, no, there is. You're a Pauladine, yeah right.

Speaker 3 (41:22):
Yes, and Cajun they're so colorful anyway, Yes, guitar solos
waiting outside in the car.

Speaker 2 (41:31):
Oh yeah, I mean classic.

Speaker 3 (41:33):
Like moving to La and realizing that every single person
at the grocery store is a woman whose husband is
like sitting in the passenger seat in the car. A
total huge culture shock, but now I'm kind of used
to it.

Speaker 1 (41:43):
I like it the length straight men will go to
to not participate in something like they would literally rather
rather than just like go into the grocery store and like, hey,
at the very least you'll stretch your legs, maybe you'll
get a little power protein bar. But no, it's like, well,
I don't want to do that, so I have to

(42:04):
be sitting in the car or I don't want to
do that, so I'm gonna like plan my entire day
around not doing it. Yeah, anyway, sitting outside they're like
daughters like pianos, So I don't yes, exactly, yeah, god
I should. When you have a kid, you should do anyway. Okay,
third tier US cities, So I'm thinking like Cincinnati.

Speaker 2 (42:21):
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah they're so. I'm actually like, if
you know, we were in sort of a boom booming
industry where you could get a random TV show to
do whatever you want. Mine would absolutely be to I
want to go to those cities and find the local
gay scenes and like see what they're about because I'm
addicted to thirdier city gay people totally.

Speaker 1 (42:44):
That would actually be a perfect travel show for you.

Speaker 2 (42:46):
Oh, it would be so fun.

Speaker 3 (42:47):
They really those gays are letting their freak flags like
fly and like they're all furries, Like I mean, hundred
percent across the board knows to tail there is.

Speaker 2 (42:58):
They're the only people who are brave in this entire nation.
They are like they are living every day out loud
in a way that we couldn't ever possibly imagine.

Speaker 3 (43:07):
That could have been you if you like stayed in
like Richmond or whatever.

Speaker 2 (43:10):
Literally and yet I didn't.

Speaker 1 (43:13):
You didn't, fussy bitch.

Speaker 3 (43:16):
Next one prank calls.

Speaker 1 (43:18):
I mean this is a classic.

Speaker 2 (43:20):
Yeah. Yeah, hurting people for sport is always difficult and
also just like.

Speaker 1 (43:28):
Doing the most obvious thing in an attempt to be funny,
Like there's just is something like to do. It's like,
why not give it one more layer of thought? Okay,
prank calls, maybe that's one. Why not something a little
more like you know, I even think like leaving a
fake letter is a little more imaginative than a prank call,
Like there was just something so obvious about a prank call.

Speaker 3 (43:49):
Okay, wait, can I otherise you really quick, George?

Speaker 2 (43:52):
Please?

Speaker 3 (43:53):
Do you guys do like ding dong ditching in Greece?
Or is that like no, no, well, I don't know.

Speaker 2 (43:58):
I mean it's also like it's a great question.

Speaker 1 (44:01):
Yeah, I don't know. Do they do that everywhere in America?
I think that's like every do.

Speaker 3 (44:06):
Where there is somebody under the age of at and they.

Speaker 2 (44:08):
Are they would bring in doorbells, yes, at three in
the morning. Yeah, and they're running, running or walking. Yeah,
that's true.

Speaker 3 (44:17):
I would like strut away.

Speaker 2 (44:18):
Well, that's because you're a bad boy, right want.

Speaker 1 (44:21):
I also think like tepeeing a house is adjacent to
pray and calls. It's just like, what is the most
obvious thing we can do to make someone's life?

Speaker 2 (44:28):
Hell? No, Sometimes I'm like the fact that I tpeed
houses in high school. I'm like, I was living in
like a movie about America.

Speaker 1 (44:34):
You did that.

Speaker 2 (44:35):
Literally the boys cross country team would tepe the girls
cross country team and vice versa.

Speaker 1 (44:38):
That's insane. Yeah, I also did. I only know that
from film and TV.

Speaker 2 (44:43):
It's so wild that it was real and it was
like the best nights of my entire life because.

Speaker 1 (44:48):
I was like, also, how I feel about prom I'm like,
it's crazy, Like I get starstruck when people actually show
me prom photos of them. I'm like, oh my god,
this is just like mean girls.

Speaker 3 (44:58):
There was a boy at my high school who was
a fucking loser all love who got tepee. I think
five nights in a row, different groups each time.

Speaker 1 (45:08):
Wow, wow, Can I tell you was sort of the
Bill de Blasio of your high school, and that like
people of all different political stripes were like, he fucking sucks, right,
but of course now you miss him ahead.

Speaker 3 (45:19):
I went six seven too, which was kind of yeah.

Speaker 2 (45:21):
I only loved the why I I once was watching
Saturday Night Live and my friends in high school knocked
my window to get me to go teepee, and I
was like, Okay, yeah, sure, I'll go teepee. With you
and guess what it was the night that Ashley Simpson
was lip syncing, and so I missed it. I missed

(45:42):
it to go teepee with the boys.

Speaker 1 (45:46):
God, that sucks. That's just that's like how I missed
the slap because I was tired and left the Oscars party.

Speaker 2 (45:51):
Oh my god, it's just so unfair.

Speaker 1 (45:55):
Oh my god, that really does suck.

Speaker 3 (45:57):
Okay, keep going with It's like yos Queen red a
little bit right.

Speaker 2 (46:00):
Actually, yeah, she got yas Queen redeemed.

Speaker 1 (46:02):
She got ya screen redeemed. Oh, kind of telling my
other thing. That's like you missing Ashley Simpson at Coachella
for whatever reason. I went to see like David Ghetta
or something. But I was like passing by, like it
was not as it was not like my dream to
see David Getta. It was like I was passing by
the stage and he was playing. Honest, he was playing,
you know, it was like DJing or whatever. And I
was like, oh, this is sort of fun, you know,

(46:25):
obviously not in a in an altered headspace, as you
can imagine. And then some vocal came on and it
sounded like the mic, like it sounded like there was
an issue with a speaker or something, and I couldn't
quite see what was going on. So I was like, oh, whatever,
let's just go. We're going to Bonyverar. And turns out
it was quite literally Rihanna making a special guest appearance.

(46:46):
And so if I had stayed for one more second,
I would have seen that Rihanna would came on and
did a song, and I had no idea. I was
literally like, I'm leaving.

Speaker 2 (46:53):
The sucks. What a bummer?

Speaker 1 (46:55):
Wasn't it like a good song? Though she has like three,
she has like one with it? First of all, she
has one million.

Speaker 2 (47:01):
Such a bitch.

Speaker 1 (47:04):
This goes back to your pop culture thing. Rihanna has
so many songs they all got.

Speaker 3 (47:10):
She's got the one where she has the eyebrows.

Speaker 1 (47:12):
She has so many songs. She has what is her
song with David Getta, It's like one of the big ones.
Is that.

Speaker 2 (47:20):
It's not sn m is it?

Speaker 1 (47:22):
Is it? This is what you came for? Oh you
know what, it's actually not a good one. I think
it's who's that chick? Who's that chick?

Speaker 2 (47:31):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (47:31):
No, who's that tick?

Speaker 3 (47:34):
Number one pop song of this year. Please we don't
respect me because I like it, Sue Camilla Cabeo's I
love it really good.

Speaker 1 (47:43):
And so here's the thing I have, Sam. Have you
noticed that there is an under belly of gay guys
that are team Camilla Cabello.

Speaker 2 (47:53):
Yeah, yeah, it's something.

Speaker 1 (47:55):
I have underbelly. Underbelly is there on term? Maybe? But no,
it's kind of that's right, that's right, it's a it's
a there's something. And I don't say this about you.
I say this about the general about the general population
of gay guys that are into Camilicabayo. There's something a
bit like we ride at dawn, like they all like

(48:18):
live underground and they are trading you know, little burned
CDs with their album and like recruiting people and at
some point they will do an insurrection at the Grammys. Right, continue,
I know this is our fault for interrupting, but but
finish your list and then let's get to the topic.

Speaker 3 (48:33):
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, let's see Antarctica.

Speaker 2 (48:36):
Mm hmm oh that's a good one.

Speaker 3 (48:38):
Kind of like voyaging down there, the thing working down
there over a winter. Riley Taggart, Right, Sam's younger brother,
who I actually.

Speaker 1 (48:46):
Knew before Sam.

Speaker 2 (48:47):
That's true.

Speaker 3 (48:48):
And so Sam will forever be Riley's older brother. To me,
the only person who will ever bring a twelve pack
of Natty Light to a party.

Speaker 2 (48:56):
My brother, your brother, Yeah no, he'll He'll up Little.

Speaker 3 (49:00):
King dying at a restaurant.

Speaker 1 (49:04):
This was a favorite of mine, and I actually don't
even think we need to comment anymore. I think it's clear.

Speaker 3 (49:12):
You're such a hater. Okay, the Balkans.

Speaker 1 (49:15):
Wait, how am I hater? I'm like supporting your.

Speaker 3 (49:18):
We don't need to talk about this anymore.

Speaker 1 (49:20):
I'm just trying to, like, you know, keep the ball
right now.

Speaker 3 (49:23):
Oh I want the villain at it.

Speaker 1 (49:25):
You're getting a bitch, yeah, bitch.

Speaker 2 (49:27):
The Balkans, yes, correct, right, Yeah, So I don't really
know what's where that is, but I celebrate them.

Speaker 3 (49:34):
It's next to Greece. It's kind of well, you ask,
is like the impure country's next to Greece.

Speaker 1 (49:42):
Oh well, that's not necessarily how I would frame it.

Speaker 2 (49:45):
Is there racism between Greece and the Balkans?

Speaker 1 (49:48):
I mean it's there's certainly racism between Greece and Albania,
but it's it's like Albania, Serbia, Croatia, like it's those mass.

Speaker 3 (50:02):
Yeah, can you rank your least favorite countries from that region.

Speaker 2 (50:07):
I know I will not do that, Dash, Okay, next
one on the list.

Speaker 3 (50:11):
Yeah, and finally actually breaking a bone.

Speaker 2 (50:14):
Okay, and this is our topic.

Speaker 1 (50:15):
And this is our topic, and now Dash, I would
love to invite you to tell us what is straight
about breaking a bone?

Speaker 2 (50:22):
Right?

Speaker 3 (50:22):
Okay? Well, the kind of seed of this idea was
the image of somebody you're in middle school or high
school with coming to class on crutches because they broke
a bone. Yeah, that's kind of the origin point of that.
But if you really think about it, the activities that
you must be doing, unless you're a fucking loser who
like pulls down the stairs, the activities you must be
doing in order to break a bone are like sports,

(50:42):
usually extreme sports or like basketball, something that's like, you know,
I would say, very hetero.

Speaker 1 (50:50):
I want to sporting.

Speaker 2 (50:51):
I want to to another level too, where it's like,
not only are you doing the sports where you could
break a bone, but you're someone who is like, I'm
not scared to do something like because like I like,
I skateboarded in high school. I liked skateboarding, but I
was never I could allie, oh, I was dropping in
I was dropping in riding around, but I was like

(51:13):
never like, you know, doing an indie grab three sixty,
like like I was just like, well, I'm not good enough.
I can't do that. And you also only get good
enough by taking those risks. But like I was like
always like I'm gonna do this, but I'm gonna do
it as cautiously and safely as possible. And I think
it's very straight to be like, well, I'm if I'm

(51:34):
gonna do it, I'm gonna do it big and like
I'm not gonna do it safely and it sort of
no pads. Yeah, and that like that fearlessness to me
is very straight, I would argue, I.

Speaker 3 (51:50):
Agree, Yeah, trusting that a risk could pay off it
does feel very.

Speaker 1 (51:55):
I mean it and that and it is the foundation
of like a sort of business mindset too, Like that
trusting a risk can pay off is like what startup
culture is. It is saying I have an idea it
is self evidently stupid, and yet what if it's the
next Facebook?

Speaker 3 (52:13):
And god forbid? This also undergirds improv as well.

Speaker 2 (52:18):
Well, why childcare even.

Speaker 1 (52:23):
I'm waiting child care or child bearing child bearing?

Speaker 2 (52:26):
I think if you like have a child, like to
melt hurdle of children is like that's insane, Like that's
a person. I can't be in charge of a person
until the day I die.

Speaker 1 (52:36):
And the blind confidence of being like we are creating
life and it's literally gonna be fine.

Speaker 2 (52:42):
It'll be fine, Well, it'll all work out. It's like
I would that is really hard to wrap my head around.

Speaker 3 (52:47):
Or like the French parenting method when like the baby's
crying and it's like been two months and they're like,
we're just gonna let it cry itself to sleep or whatever,
and then just trusting that it won't like die of
like sids or whatever the fuck.

Speaker 2 (52:58):
I think Unfortunately, I would be good at that, be like, yeah, whatever,
make as much noise as you want. I'm out, so
all right.

Speaker 1 (53:10):
I think breaking up there's something very you're transported to
high school. You're imagining the crutches. You're also imagining someone
coming in with a cast, that people are signing someone.
You know, it's the week before the big game and
someone gets injured and then you can't. You don't win
the big soccer final with the other team, you don't
win regionals. It's a very like breaking a bone. Is

(53:35):
something that happens in high school, and then it happens
again when you're literally old and like have a fall,
both of which are very straight. High school is straight.
Being a senior citizen is straight.

Speaker 2 (53:45):
When you see a gay guy with like a broken foot.

Speaker 1 (53:48):
Or something, you don't see that, Sam.

Speaker 2 (53:50):
I've seen one. I've seen one.

Speaker 1 (53:53):
Yeah, you're like, was he trying to stick that up
someone's ass?

Speaker 2 (53:56):
Yeah? Well it literally makes me sad and like a
grand way where I'm like, oh, no, you're not supposed
to do this.

Speaker 1 (54:02):
Yeah, why were you jumping off of that? Is she
gonna jump from there?

Speaker 2 (54:05):
Yeah? You don't love yourself. You don't love yourself, and
so you broke your foot.

Speaker 1 (54:09):
Yeah, okay, And I want to say something else about
the visual of seeing someone with a broken bone, whether
it's crutches, whether it's wheelchair, whether it's cast it is
this incredibly cruel immediate signifier of whether you are cool
or uncool, because there is a way you can look
cool with a broken bone, as in use you are

(54:31):
you are a badass and you survived breaking a bone,
And there's a way you can look like a complete
klutz loser, like look at this stupid bitch with the glasses.
She can't even walk, and so she like fell down
and she was like holding so many books and like
talking to her mom on the phone because she needed
her inhaler and so she fell down the stairs. Like

(54:53):
it is there is something. It's like, it's like are
you Is your narrative one of persevere so you survived
the fall? Or is your narrative one of defeat?

Speaker 2 (55:04):
You fell?

Speaker 1 (55:05):
And the ladder?

Speaker 3 (55:05):
It's definitely like if you have a scooter, you're the
ladder typically, Yeah, like if you need that much assistance
and you're not able to kind of like Jack London
style like grin and Barrett, Yeah, you're bitch made my
I recently, I was I went through a rock climbing
phase as a way to honor the kind of the
white half of the family.

Speaker 1 (55:26):
Christ It really is you just it's non stop. It's
non stop.

Speaker 3 (55:31):
And I was at a gym here in La that is,
by the way, one of the worst gyms I've ever
been to in my entire life, bar none dogs everywhere.

Speaker 1 (55:39):
What's it called the rock climbing.

Speaker 3 (55:43):
Okay, don't be going there anyway.

Speaker 1 (55:45):
I was climbing with like get them get that small business. Yeah,
I'm a huge fan of chains. Like let's see you
operate at scale and then we'll talk, you know. I
just it's it's like get over yourself.

Speaker 3 (56:00):
Anyway. I was climbing with like a couple of randos
there and we were like on a relatively kind of
difficult quote unquote I think like project or whatever the fuck,
and a guy like slipped off when he was trying
to do it by the way he worked there, he
slipped off and landed on his foot like fully sideways,
and the sound of his bone his like ankle bone,

(56:22):
like fracturing or whatever. It's there's such a visceral like
element of disgust with a broken bone towards yes, like
the image afterward, like when it's happening, it is so
grotesque in a way that I think, like people talk
about how gay shit or whatever is like grotesque like
io anal, but it's like the things that straight people
do and experience can like birth Madonna, can be so much.

Speaker 1 (56:45):
Closer, totally totally clear. Gay people can give birth right.

Speaker 2 (56:54):
And straight people can have and st.

Speaker 1 (56:57):
People can have anal sex of course, but for the
sake of this podcast, it is true that we put
things in buckets, Sam, you were about to say something.

Speaker 2 (57:04):
I guess that is so gross to me that that
I can't I'm having trouble.

Speaker 1 (57:10):
I know, I can't even contemplate it.

Speaker 2 (57:11):
Really.

Speaker 1 (57:12):
Yeah, No, it's like I want to hear more details.
It's like, it's like the worst thing in a horror
movie for me, is any type of bone breaking, any
type of like showing. I don't even I'm literally not
even gonna utter the words, but like.

Speaker 2 (57:26):
I mean, in Challengers when Zundia breaks exactly, I'm like,
oh god, this sucks.

Speaker 1 (57:30):
Yeah, And I think the fact that straight people get
a sort of kick out of that no pun intended.

Speaker 3 (57:37):
Like scarred like on MTV, even just like.

Speaker 1 (57:40):
Even Frankly Jackass, Like literally the Jackass symbol is two crutches,
so true, Like.

Speaker 3 (57:47):
Nobody's ever pointed that out before.

Speaker 1 (57:50):
To me, it's it's just like I I it's a
very straight guy thing to be like fascinated with breaking
bones and with injury overall.

Speaker 2 (58:02):
Have I want to know what your guys' greatest injuries are.

Speaker 3 (58:06):
Oh no, I did suffer a radio head fracture of
my elbow when I was scaped.

Speaker 2 (58:12):
Is that?

Speaker 3 (58:12):
Get this the age of twenty five.

Speaker 2 (58:15):
Wow, was that kind of broken?

Speaker 3 (58:17):
I think it technically counts, But the thing is, I
never it was like a like a grade like one
or whatever, So I actually didn't really need to do anything.
I just had to like put it in like kind
of like a makeshift, not even like a cast, but
like kind of like a sling thing, and typing a
fucking bitch for sure, oh I'm sure. And being on
the subway and not having like one half of my
body available to like grab onto shit or whatever I

(58:38):
was flying, I was injuring hundreds of other passengers.

Speaker 1 (58:43):
My worst injury was I was probably seven or eight
and or maybe even younger, and my mom brought home
ach a sausage piroske, which is a sort of corn
dog type thing, imagine a corn dog but without the
stick like sweet doughnut on the outside, sausage on the inside,

(59:06):
And my mouth was watering just thinking about it. That
was one of my favorite possible baked goods from a
bakery when I was a kid, and I got so
excited in Greece, Yes, I got so excited that I
ran to the stairs so hard that I and these
were marble like pointy stairs that I essentially started from

(59:27):
the top of the stairs, rolled like somemmer salting down
until I got to the bottom and landed flat on
my face. I was covered in blood, and they had
to put me in the bathtub so that they could
like get all the blood, like rinse the blood out
to see where it was coming from, because all you
could see was just blood everywhere. It was like it
was not clear if I had injured like my back,

(59:48):
my head, my elbow, and so they were just like
hosing me down until enough blood disappeared so they could
see where it was, and it was in the back
of my head. I still have two little bald spots
on my head from the stitches. And then they had
to take me to the hospital and I got head
head stitches.

Speaker 2 (01:00:07):
Well.

Speaker 1 (01:00:07):
Or surgeon went in there and neurosurgeon went in there,
and they gave me a whole new brain.

Speaker 2 (01:00:12):
Yeah, they turned their slate slaves slagh settings on.

Speaker 1 (01:00:18):
What was yours?

Speaker 2 (01:00:19):
Sam. I got a concussion playing dodgeball in sixth grade.
I played dodgeball really seriously and I would like train
when I got home. I was really really committed to
being good.

Speaker 3 (01:00:31):
At dodgeball, training and tailing.

Speaker 2 (01:00:33):
So me and my friend would throw the ball at
each other and practice like catching it and like throw
it as hard as we could and then try to
catch it.

Speaker 3 (01:00:39):
Is this what the red ball?

Speaker 2 (01:00:42):
Uh?

Speaker 3 (01:00:42):
The big bouncy one like foam?

Speaker 2 (01:00:46):
I think it was with the bouncy It was with
the bouncy ones. And this one time I was playing
dodgeball and I was running to get the ball and
it was next to a brick wall and I got
there and then somebody else got there right after me
and ran into me, and I ran into the wall
and I got a concussion. And I remember I had
to leave the Johnny Appleseed presentation because I was nauseous

(01:01:10):
from my concussion. And then I went to the hospital
and blah, blah blah.

Speaker 1 (01:01:14):
How long were you at the hospital? Months?

Speaker 2 (01:01:16):
Just for a touch. Then I went home and sort
of watched the Pokemon movie and then I was like,
actually feel fine. Then I got off and tried to
run up the stairs and immediately started throwing up again.
I was like, oh, I guess I have to like
really take this easy. But I was kind of I
got to miss my presentation on Egypt, so that was cool.
I was not cool well, because I didn't. I wasn't prepared.

Speaker 1 (01:01:39):
And then I was like practicing dodgeball and the teacher.

Speaker 2 (01:01:43):
Was like, yeah, I guess you don't have to do it,
and I was like, awesome.

Speaker 1 (01:01:47):
Wow, all our injuries were so representative of our cultural backgrounds.

Speaker 2 (01:01:52):
Well, George's George's palace, marble stairs down marble.

Speaker 1 (01:01:57):
It's like it's not even marble. I actually should not
have said marble. These were outdoor stairs. They were like
I guess like stone would be the right. Imagine like gray.

Speaker 2 (01:02:07):
Rocks that were like they were granted granted.

Speaker 1 (01:02:09):
Yes, that's exactly what it was. They were granted.

Speaker 3 (01:02:11):
Stairs like two D three hundred, yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:02:14):
But one flight of stairs and I probably I mean
I'm obviously exaggerating that I fell from like the very
very top, but like I would say, probably halfway, you know,
I tripped somewhere halfway and then I and then I struggle,
and I remember my mom trying to figure out what
was happening, and she was like, what did you, like,
how did this happen? I won't be mad, Just tell me,
like did you try to skip a step, like did
you like just to like figure out like where the

(01:02:38):
injury and I and I genuinely. All I did was
just go fast because I was excited to eat. But
then she kept going, so I had to lie and
I was like, yeah, I tried to skip a step.

Speaker 2 (01:02:49):
She's like, well, now your insurance claim is void exactly.

Speaker 3 (01:02:54):
I had to flee grease yes, your ass, No.

Speaker 2 (01:02:58):
That's you. Well, that's one of the most sad things
about when you're a child is when you do something
stupid and they're like, but what did you do and
you're like, no, I was just overly excited or really emotional. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:03:11):
Yeah, I like tilted back of my chair and hit
my head on the edge of like the bed frame
in my sister's room and had to get stitches.

Speaker 1 (01:03:19):
Also, it like wasn't as bad as yours, but it
was like, wait, so all of ours are head related.

Speaker 2 (01:03:23):
Well, that's how they turned the sleigh switch on.

Speaker 1 (01:03:26):
Wait, so they literally all of us have brain damage
and that's why we're gay podcasters like it all. It's like,
literally five years into doing this, we suddenly realized that,
like the reason for all of it is that we
have brain.

Speaker 3 (01:03:38):
Like numerous lobes just missing completely deactivated. But I like
told my mom, she was like, how did you split
your head open. And I think I tried to tell
her like it just happened, which imagine a world in
which that could just happen to you.

Speaker 1 (01:03:52):
You, you, though, really did do the one thing they
tell you not to do, which is lean your chair back.

Speaker 3 (01:03:58):
It was really it was like an All America kind
of injury for sure.

Speaker 2 (01:04:02):
Yeah, okay, I will say something about something that I
still have from childhood that is the sort of victim
like I think we're doing it even now, the victim
blaming when kids break their bones, Like when kids broke
their bones in school, I was like, well, yeah, you would, like.

Speaker 1 (01:04:19):
It's a moral failing.

Speaker 2 (01:04:20):
Yeah, it's a moral failing. And you're the type of
person who will break a bone. And still to this day,
I'm like, well, yeah, you're the bone breaking type, Like
I would never break a bone because I'm sensitive and thoughtful.

Speaker 3 (01:04:31):
Right, Nobody in the honors classes was doing this, Like,
let's be completely honest, none of these listeners or experience
having experienced that.

Speaker 2 (01:04:41):
Yeah yeah, so so maybe I don't need to fix
that in myself.

Speaker 3 (01:04:46):
Right, Well, the prospect of having to deal with insurance too,
Like I just wouldn't get the bone fixed. I would
find a way to move on with my life.

Speaker 1 (01:04:55):
Yeah, your arm is just like dangling.

Speaker 3 (01:04:57):
Yeah, and it's like kind of becomes like a stylistic.

Speaker 1 (01:05:00):
Yeah, totally. Yeah, it's like it's like, you know, having
little Susan Sontag gray streak. But it's just like your
arm is dangling from your body. It's like, oh yeah,
he's just like artistic.

Speaker 2 (01:05:13):
Yeah, this fall is all about exposed bone.

Speaker 3 (01:05:17):
Oh yeah, when the bone comes out of the skin too.

Speaker 2 (01:05:19):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:05:20):
See this is the I mean, it's like, yeah, this
is what I can't do. I had a really difficult
time during the horror porn phase of the early two thousands,
during the Saw movies Our Hostile, Yeah hostile?

Speaker 3 (01:05:32):
Did you not watch like one hundred and twenty seven hours?

Speaker 2 (01:05:34):
Then? No? I didn't watch that either.

Speaker 1 (01:05:37):
Yeah, but who was that James Frank talk about a
straight movie like that is a fucking straight guy's wet
dreams watching a movie where one male identified individual breaks
his arm and that's it.

Speaker 3 (01:05:50):
And also like a male identified individual who had been
sleeping with college freshmen at like five different.

Speaker 1 (01:05:56):
Oh that's fine actually right, Okay, Well, any final thoughts
about bone breaking? We you guys should try it. Breaking
a bone.

Speaker 2 (01:06:11):
I'm scared. I think I I think it actually is
like something that I think I might be able to
go my whole life without doing.

Speaker 1 (01:06:17):
Because you live like a pussy bitch.

Speaker 2 (01:06:18):
Because I live like a pussy bitch.

Speaker 1 (01:06:20):
Right, I also sort of live like a pussy bitch,
right I?

Speaker 3 (01:06:24):
Well, George, you could easily. You still live in New
York City, and so you could easily be hit.

Speaker 1 (01:06:28):
By a car, fall down the subway, drive.

Speaker 3 (01:06:30):
Well, done the subway, Yeah on the track, get ran
over by the Yeah, break your leg that way, or
whatever happens.

Speaker 1 (01:06:36):
I mean, I do, I will say I because I'm
a little I'm pretty risk averse when it comes to
physical activity, and I worry that it is preventing me
from having certain experiences. Like even when people are like,
we hiked Machu Pichu, I'm like, I would die, George.

Speaker 3 (01:06:52):
Hiking is walking?

Speaker 2 (01:06:53):
Hiking is walking?

Speaker 1 (01:06:54):
Well, Machu Pichu is a mountain, right, but.

Speaker 2 (01:06:57):
You're walking up it?

Speaker 3 (01:06:58):
Right, That's what makes you scared of Machu Pichu? Is
it the kind of native quality?

Speaker 1 (01:07:06):
What if you take a what if you and then
you're in the middle of a mountain and you're injured?

Speaker 3 (01:07:12):
Slide down the mountain.

Speaker 2 (01:07:13):
Bitch, get air lift.

Speaker 1 (01:07:16):
They have helicopters, get airlifts. Oh yeah, right, so I
do I want to avoid being injured on a helicopter.
This is what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (01:07:23):
If we can go gay for a second, you know
who really served recently, that bitch who was under the
helicopter and who was spinning like a big cow.

Speaker 2 (01:07:31):
No, the woman, the woman. There's one where a woman
does it.

Speaker 3 (01:07:35):
Like Arizona and she Yeah, it's like an older woman, right, Yeah,
it's iconic, and it's like they don't sue like that
was such a served.

Speaker 2 (01:07:45):
I couldn't merch.

Speaker 1 (01:07:47):
The image of that, doesn't doesn't the image of that
like take you back to like the good days.

Speaker 3 (01:07:53):
More innocent times, you know what I mean. Like it's
like kind of just been elected.

Speaker 1 (01:07:56):
Like a meme. Yeah, like a meme like that. You're like,
oh God, if only that's like I could wake up
in the morning, log into the to my Chrome browser
and be faced with the woman spinning around.

Speaker 3 (01:08:07):
Yeah, we need more slapstick, like expect tragedies, which bringing
Buon kind of is, But we need more of that
coming up and less like I feel like I see
all like tweets that are like referencing forty thousand other
online kind of touchstone moments of the past, like.

Speaker 1 (01:08:22):
No, we need to go back to physical comedy.

Speaker 2 (01:08:24):
Yes, no, big way, in a big way.

Speaker 1 (01:08:26):
We need slipping on a banana peel.

Speaker 3 (01:08:29):
We need you know, bitch who is the the bitch
who fell down when she was like stomping the grapes.
Then she kept going oh oh, oh, oh ooh, I'm
talking about.

Speaker 1 (01:08:38):
I don't remember this kind of vaguely that sounds familiar,
and then.

Speaker 3 (01:08:41):
She like totally disappeared from public life.

Speaker 1 (01:08:44):
Well because you because you bullied her by calling her
great note I was celebrating her. Miss me, bitch is horrific.

Speaker 2 (01:08:51):
I mean I miss news bloopers. That's that to me
is the peak of comedy.

Speaker 1 (01:08:55):
Yeah, here's the thing.

Speaker 2 (01:08:58):
Yeah, he make a doo doo.

Speaker 1 (01:09:00):
This is what sucks about. This is what sucks about
our current media environment is like it used to be
a special thing to see like bloopers or like a
gag reel, and now everything is bloopers in a gag
reel and it's no longer special.

Speaker 3 (01:09:14):
No, you're right, we need FoST funniest home videos. Was
exactly for us that needed to be like the exception,
not the rule. Exactly every piece of media is that.

Speaker 1 (01:09:24):
No, every single piece of media is America's funniest home videos.
And you're sort of like, this is bad for culture. Actually,
the default should be a polished, well made product. And
then as like Catharsis, you know, occasionally we can look
at bloopers. Occasionally we can see like we can have
a movie like The Room that's celebrated for being so
bad it's good. But that can't be everything.

Speaker 2 (01:09:46):
Yeah, no, you're right.

Speaker 3 (01:09:47):
Well, actually, and can we wrap this back around to
like a thesis statement about kind of this podcast and
straight culture in general. Okay, I feel like one thing
that's actually awesome because you guys, you know, I think
I like straight culture and see it as kind of
a virtuous and moral thing, whereas you guys are kind of,
you know, huge haters.

Speaker 1 (01:10:04):
No problem, I actually don't think that's true.

Speaker 2 (01:10:06):
Huge haters, I know.

Speaker 1 (01:10:07):
I mean, I think we celebrate it, but keep going,
you guys are lying to yourselves.

Speaker 3 (01:10:11):
Okay, So my thing about that is I feel like
straight one thing that's awesome about straight culture is they
are not always in on the joke.

Speaker 2 (01:10:17):
Yes, there's there's a sincerity there.

Speaker 3 (01:10:20):
Yeah, exactly, they're like doing things without the idea that
they're like being watched or that they're like doing it
to create an image for like sex or whatever. Like
I feel like like a lot of what quick people
do is like I don't know, there's always like the
image of like how old has helped me get it
in or like how old has helped me kind of
like establish who I am in like my identity, whereas
straight people are just like going to like I don't know,

(01:10:41):
like Pittsburgh Steelers games, Like they're just like doing stuff.
They're having weird interests, and there's.

Speaker 1 (01:10:48):
No under no undertones, no subtext. It's literally just like
I am doing this period.

Speaker 2 (01:10:57):
Every straight person is a gay person from a third
to your city.

Speaker 1 (01:11:04):
Yes, and that they're just like living out loud.

Speaker 2 (01:11:06):
They're like completely unself aware and.

Speaker 1 (01:11:08):
They're just triumphant.

Speaker 2 (01:11:09):
I'm I'm myself, I'm mean, what are you talking about?

Speaker 3 (01:11:11):
Yeah, they don't feel embarrassed everything. Yeah, every Yes, And
that's awesome. And I think so much of like the
exhaustion that everybody has with all forms of media right
now is because people aren't willing to be the change
they need in the world, which is to like, have
fewer thoughts, do fewer things with like hidden intent about
like personal role.

Speaker 1 (01:11:30):
And stuff identity.

Speaker 3 (01:11:33):
Everybody just needs to be watching more NFL games. Yes,
by the way, I'm cognizant that you guys were recording
this during NFL Sunday.

Speaker 1 (01:11:43):
I was not act So would you be watching football
if it wasn't for this right now?

Speaker 3 (01:11:48):
Yeah, bitch, That's what what I did in Thanksgiving to
all it was amazing.

Speaker 2 (01:11:53):
What is your deal?

Speaker 3 (01:11:54):
I'm like, I just explained my thesis, which totally explained
my deal.

Speaker 1 (01:11:59):
I think that you're doing You're watching all of this
because you want to just feel like, uh, straightforwardly happy
without having to deal with subtext.

Speaker 3 (01:12:06):
Yes, and also NFL is like football is fun to watch.

Speaker 2 (01:12:10):
It's like literally not fun to check.

Speaker 3 (01:12:12):
I watched I was, I had I went kind of
George and Samo last night and watched Queer by.

Speaker 2 (01:12:17):
Luca How is it? By the way, No, I haven't
seen it yet.

Speaker 1 (01:12:21):
I haven't seen anither. I've heard it's bad.

Speaker 2 (01:12:22):
Wait.

Speaker 3 (01:12:23):
Yeah, do you guys do honesty on this podcast or
should I like, you.

Speaker 2 (01:12:25):
Can do honesty?

Speaker 1 (01:12:26):
We do honesty if people we know aren't involved.

Speaker 3 (01:12:30):
Yeah, do you guys know Luca.

Speaker 2 (01:12:32):
Yeah, Luca's pretty tight with both of us.

Speaker 3 (01:12:34):
But go ahead, Okay, Well, anyway, my thing about that
movie too much subtext. The one thing I liked about
it we should all be smoking inside restaurants. Of course, Well,
and that connected with me from the movie.

Speaker 2 (01:12:46):
But was there fucking.

Speaker 3 (01:12:48):
Yeah, there was a lot of fucking well that's fun,
So that's text a decent amount.

Speaker 2 (01:12:52):
Did you see Wiener?

Speaker 3 (01:12:54):
Yeah, there's you see flaccid?

Speaker 2 (01:12:56):
Oh, I love flaccid.

Speaker 1 (01:12:58):
It was I like flaccid too, and I get I
get the flask, I get flaccid culture.

Speaker 2 (01:13:05):
First of all, I get flaccid.

Speaker 1 (01:13:06):
I get flaccid. I'm actually my default is erect and
then sometimes if I'm like especially turned off, I'll get flaccid.
But not to sound like a horny auga man, but
I'm like, how about sometimes we do show erect right,
Like why is it? What is the whole thing? Why

(01:13:27):
is it so much more pornographic? I mean, I get why,
but why is it so much more pornographic to show erect?
Like how about you have some grow some balls and
show erect?

Speaker 3 (01:13:37):
Well, and I think your show or dichotomy too. It's
actually almost more vulnerable to show.

Speaker 1 (01:13:40):
Flaccid one hundred percent.

Speaker 2 (01:13:43):
Well, I also think they are. I think the issue
is that film people don't know what like an erect
penis should look like, because first of all, for flaccid penises,
they use prosthetics and make them gigantic for no gigantic. Yeah,
So for them to show an erect penis, it would
be like about two feet long because they would be like, well,

(01:14:04):
it has to look impressive, and it's like the flacid we.

Speaker 1 (01:14:08):
Showed being purple cock. Yeah, And it's like you.

Speaker 2 (01:14:11):
Could just show like normal flacid and the normal erect
But they're like, but it's a movie. It has to
be gigantic at all times.

Speaker 3 (01:14:18):
And I'm like that's just a lot of decisions that
they have to make, like what way is it gonna curve?

Speaker 2 (01:14:22):
But I am like, how about you just based it
on a real dick, and actually maybe even just the
actor's dick.

Speaker 1 (01:14:27):
Give me the actors shows dick, And how about we
all grow up for a second and we stop making
prosthetic penises.

Speaker 3 (01:14:32):
Are you get rid of intimacy coordinators and just let
the actors truth shine through?

Speaker 2 (01:14:37):
I mean not a bitch.

Speaker 1 (01:14:38):
But yes, I'm like enough, No, I don't listen. I
think if the if intimacy coordinators are pretend protecting vulnerable parties,
then I'm all for it. What I don't actually care
about is reading interviews about intimacy coordinators like this. This

(01:15:00):
the way that over the last three years, every fucking
movie that comes out, I have to read about the
specifics of how everyone got along with the intimacy coordinator.
I should not even know what that is. That is
a workplace thing. That is like me working at a
newspaper and going out and doing an interview tour about
how our copy editor is really nice.

Speaker 2 (01:15:16):
Also, I think intimacy coordinator is like sort of hr vibes,
where it's like, exactly, it only exists to protect the company.
It doesn't exist to protect the actors. Yes so, but.

Speaker 1 (01:15:26):
Sometimes actors are so powerful that they are a company.
And that's where things get complicated.

Speaker 2 (01:15:31):
Oh that is what things? You know?

Speaker 1 (01:15:32):
What I mean?

Speaker 3 (01:15:33):
Sure every actor a company, because I'm like, oh, well
that's true.

Speaker 2 (01:15:36):
Well of course, right, well anyway some of them are
someone is a company.

Speaker 1 (01:15:40):
Anyone or someone is a company. Companies well needless so
say you better believe we do.

Speaker 2 (01:15:44):
Yeah, I love that.

Speaker 1 (01:15:46):
Do you actually I actually pay Sam as a contractor
because we could only put one of our companies connect
one of our companies to the Patreon.

Speaker 2 (01:15:55):
Yeah, so I'm chorge this employee Sam's technique.

Speaker 3 (01:15:58):
In my employee Sam pays all taxes and then you
just kind of don't have to know.

Speaker 1 (01:16:01):
We actually think I pay all the taxes.

Speaker 2 (01:16:04):
I pay taxes on what you pay me.

Speaker 1 (01:16:06):
I know, I'm kidding.

Speaker 3 (01:16:08):
We was saying that anyway.

Speaker 2 (01:16:12):
So basically we've uh brought culture to its knees. Yes,
And I think this episode will give people a lot
to chew on this holiday season. I think people should
play this with their families and sort of have a
discussion group afterwards and see where everyone's staying.

Speaker 3 (01:16:28):
To break a bone?

Speaker 2 (01:16:29):
Would you like to break a bone? Do you believe
there should be intimacy coordinators? Do you want to be
should you we get into call of duty? Or should
you have a child? Stuff like stuff like this. Let's
do our final segment, which is called shout outs, and
in this segment we give a pay homage to the

(01:16:50):
Grand Street tradition of the radio shout out and just
shout out anything that we enjoy people, places, things ideas.
We make them up on the spot. And George, do
you yes one.

Speaker 1 (01:17:03):
Hello, healthy California locavore eaters. I want to give a
shout out to a salad I made from the cookbook
Six Seasons that is called Get This. It is called
the kale Salad that started it all. Now, if you
don't hear that and immediately want to go out and
buy this book, I don't know what to tell you,
but it is, quite frankly, the kale salad that started
at all.

Speaker 2 (01:17:24):
I have never had good.

Speaker 1 (01:17:25):
Luck making kale salad myself because I find that I'm
not really sure what massaging is, and it always tastes
way more bitter than when you get it at a restaurant.
But this recipe really just was a breath of fresh air.
It was so simple. And I also want to give
a sub shout out to something that I did to
slightly alter it, which is that rather than making breadcrumbs,

(01:17:47):
I took pinco and I pan fried it with some
butter and olive oil and some garlic actually, and just
made this like crunchy, uh, these crunchy little deep fried
panco bits that just had a bit of texture to
an otherwise simple kale salad. So I just want to
encourage everyone out there to make a simple kale salad
and to add some garlicky panko bits to it. And

(01:18:10):
you know, you can have a giant bowl of it
and just sort of put in a giant ziploc bag
and have it for every meal for three days like
I did. You can supplement it with other things. You
can crack an egg on top, just raws fine. And
so shout out to the Six Seasons cookbook and chat
out to the kale salad that started at all who okay,
well salad that started?

Speaker 2 (01:18:31):
I have a shout out that, okay, what is a freak?
Excluser's perverts, and most importantly, family men. I want to
give a huge shout out to when you leave a
holiday and immediately go to the Eagle or a similar
CD bar in your town. I think there is nothing
more exciting than coming back from a family visit, having

(01:18:54):
the wholesome energy of the family and then being like,
you know what, I'm going to run in the complete
opposite direction as quickly as I possibly can, and I'm
going to go to the Eagle, and I'm going to
commit to it. I find it to be. I feel
more equilibrium than I ever do. After a full family
visit and then an eagle trip, I feel like I'm myself.

(01:19:15):
I am two people in one body. I am I
contain multitudes, and I am free essentially. So I can't
recommend it enough. Go see your family and then be
as bad as you want, because you've earned it. And
that's my shout out. Exolu, sam bit.

Speaker 3 (01:19:37):
Yay, okay, foksh sub pamps and players and coals across
the contiguous United States. I'd like to have a huge
shout out to gas station treats. Bitch, I'm talking wow,
Hubba bubba, bubble tape, sour blue Raspberry, six feet of fun.

Speaker 1 (01:19:55):
Let's say that Zin, I got some Zin pouches I
consider No, do not eat that, bitch.

Speaker 3 (01:20:02):
How how dare you interrupt a shout out? Bitch, I'm
eating this, I'm chewing it, and I'm pony, I'm swallowing bitch.

Speaker 2 (01:20:09):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (01:20:09):
I will simply say.

Speaker 3 (01:20:10):
That slim gyms, everything that's sold at the gas station
is something I am putting in my body. You can trust,
and I feel energetic. I feel stronger than I ever
have before. I recently got really back into her She's
cookies and cream bars, which I later found out have
over six hundred grams of sugar in them. I'm gonna
have like ultra diabetes by end of Q four, bitch,

(01:20:32):
and I'm completely good with that. And I don't have
any regrets, and I don't live like that. And yeah,
that's pretty much it. You know, two words, I love it.

Speaker 2 (01:20:42):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (01:20:43):
The final provocation is you shouting out gas station snacks
after an entire episode of talking about how you rather
be watching football and how you don't know if Madonna
has multiple kids, right and on endorsing gas station snacks.

Speaker 3 (01:21:00):
Well you can, really, you can live off of gas
station food for months and be healthier than you would otherwise.

Speaker 1 (01:21:07):
That is not true.

Speaker 3 (01:21:09):
Well, maybe our bodies are built different. I don't know.

Speaker 1 (01:21:12):
I wasn't bitch made. So that's why you've never broken above.
These bones don't break, These bones don't break, These American
bones don't break. That's actually the new catch for the
new tagline Australia Lab is these American bones don't break.

Speaker 2 (01:21:27):
Damn well, Dash, this has been a real treat. Thanks
for coming on the show.

Speaker 3 (01:21:33):
It was a joy to bring so much nuance and
beautiful thought and it was a joy to kind of
realized so crude.

Speaker 2 (01:21:40):
Yes, yeah, yeah, I think I think people this will
change minds and heart.

Speaker 1 (01:21:44):
Set up totally.

Speaker 3 (01:21:46):
I completely agree, of course, well.

Speaker 2 (01:21:48):
Right by, I'm fun at the Bell House.

Speaker 1 (01:21:51):
Bitch. Thanks Bitch podcast and now want more. Subscribe to
our Patreon for two extra episodes a month, discord access
and more by heading to patreon dot com. Slash Stradio Lab.

Speaker 2 (01:22:04):
And for all our visual earners, free full length video
episodes are available on our.

Speaker 1 (01:22:08):
YouTube now Get back to Work.

Speaker 2 (01:22:10):
Stradia Lab is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money
Players Network and iHeart Podcasts.

Speaker 1 (01:22:14):
Created and hosted by George Severis and Sam Taggart.

Speaker 2 (01:22:17):
Executive produced by Will Ferrell, Han Sony and Olivia Aguilar.

Speaker 1 (01:22:21):
Co produced by by Wang, Edited.

Speaker 2 (01:22:23):
And engineered by Adam Avalos.

Speaker 1 (01:22:24):
Artwork by Michael Failes and Matt Grog.

Speaker 2 (01:22:27):
Theme music by Ben Kling

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