"Man Caves" w/ Stavros Halkias

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (00:19):
Podcast starts.

Speaker 3 (00:20):
Now, Wow, I have something to say, which is okay.
So we just got back from Chicago correct, fact check true, true,
and I you know there, I basically had a cold, okay, okay,
And my my question is what are the current ethics
of being sick in public? Because I don't it makes

(00:41):
me feel crazy.

Speaker 2 (00:42):
No, you're you're like, what is the what now? If
you ever called you're a modern day If you never.

Speaker 3 (00:46):
Cold, you're literally like in the movie Contagion, you're Gwyneth
Paltrow dying on the like in the middle of the street.
And it's like, I just have a cold. You know why,
because I'm a woman about town and I do things,
and when you do things, you get exposed to viruses.
It doesn't mean you're gonna kill everyone.

Speaker 2 (01:03):
No, of course, I don't know what to tell you, though.

Speaker 3 (01:07):
It's like it's and then guess what. I've been on
the other side of things. I'm next to someone on
the subway. They're coughing. I say, arrest them.

Speaker 2 (01:12):
I saw a man coffe say and I said, I
think I'm allowed to hurt you.

Speaker 3 (01:14):
It's true.

Speaker 2 (01:15):
Literally, there was violence allowed.

Speaker 3 (01:17):
I was uh shooting something and on the on the
bus ride. One of the people that was on the bus,
I'll say it not talent, was was like coughing and
sneezing the entire time and would fall asleep on the
bus and then like wake herself up by coughing. And
the way I felt empowered to do the like turn

(01:38):
around god like for the entire forty five minutes with
a bus ride to the set.

Speaker 2 (01:46):
I think it's I think we're in a fun place
with it. I think it's fun to blame people who
are sick, and it's fun to be like this is
your fault, right and you're a bad person.

Speaker 3 (01:53):
Totally.

Speaker 2 (01:54):
I think that's always really healthy and I think we
should keep doing it.

Speaker 3 (01:57):
It's the biggest It's a big question is like do
you blame the individual or do you blame society?

Speaker 2 (02:02):
Well, and it's like what are you supposed to do?
Like you're already in Chicago, what are you gonna do?

Speaker 3 (02:07):
Right? Leave? Then I met the whole plane sick.

Speaker 1 (02:10):
What are you gonna do?

Speaker 3 (02:11):
I'm doing that tomorrow. I specifically, I had, you know,
I was working in my hotel room because I was
like I want to be as you know, I was
like dem more in the substance. I was like, I'm
not leaving this house lest anyone see how disgusting I am.
And I'm not as hot as the young sue, of course,
And so I was in my hotel room. But then

(02:31):
I had to check out, and I had a three
hour period between hotel and airport, and I was like, well,
I have to go to an all de cafe in order
to grain Bowl. When am I a caveman?

Speaker 2 (02:39):
Of course?

Speaker 3 (02:40):
But then of course the grain bowl crowd is, especially
they're getting vaccinated for sport. They're waking up every day
and getting vaccinating themselves, like to me more in the substance,
and then they're seeing me, they're like, who is this guy?
Is he a swing state voter?

Speaker 2 (02:55):
Yeah, you should have gone to some sort of fast
food restaurant.

Speaker 3 (02:58):
Non judged, that's true anyway, Wow, that's so that's where
I'm at. And by the way, I showed up twenty
minutes late today for the third time in a row.

Speaker 2 (03:06):
I do think it's actually extremely bold for you to
show up twenty minutes late and be like, and I
have an intro planned.

Speaker 3 (03:10):
Well guess what? Because I was like, I was like,
I can't handle another failure today, Like I was like,
when we hit record, I have to be ready to go,
of course, and.

Speaker 2 (03:21):
You nailed it. They really powered through that.

Speaker 3 (03:24):
Yeah, so anyway, go vote.

Speaker 2 (03:26):
Seriously, you guys, get out there. We got one shot
at this.

Speaker 3 (03:31):
Yeah, that's right. It's the most important elect Democracy is
at risk. The democracy is at steak steak. So it's
been at risk, but now it's at steak officially. You've
been hearing that it's at steak it is. Do you think? Okay,
here's a question one of the foundations.

Speaker 2 (03:50):
Sorry, I know you came in so hot in a
way where I'm like, well, it's the adrenaline from being late.
I wish I had you know why. I wish I
had an ounce I wanted I was looking around.

Speaker 3 (03:57):
I was like, who can I blame for me being
stuck on the subway. It's like Kathy Hokeel, she's not here.

Speaker 2 (04:02):
I mean, you're about to get political, so it seems
like you might get into that.

Speaker 3 (04:05):
No, here's my question, and then we'll bring in our guests,
because I actually think we need a third opinion, all.

Speaker 2 (04:11):
Right, even a second giving one.

Speaker 3 (04:14):
No, no, well, I'm not letting you Well, yeah, I would
say since like twenty sixteen. To me, one of the
funnier sort of jokes is to make fun of the
like it's to basically make fun of the idea of
voting as a cure. All okay, sure, we do that.
It's funny. It's like a political inspire art. We're not
actually like endorsing or not endorsing anything. It's just like

(04:36):
a funny thing. And we're making fun of like, you know,
the sort of a woman you know in the Upper
West Side, like shaking on her way to film for
him because she thinks democracy is dying. Okay, all right,
So that has nothing to do obviously, we're voting for
Kamala Harrison. Has nothing to do with our political.

Speaker 2 (04:50):
We're sort of chapel roone rone could My question.

Speaker 3 (04:54):
Is, at what point is that, like, has it been
long enough it actually is harmful to make that joke?
You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 (05:01):
Oh, you mean like with an actual election coming up,
Like it's is it like it's fine to make that
joke when there's like when you're like two years out,
but when you're three months out.

Speaker 3 (05:09):
Yeah, I'm just like, okay, so when does this happen?
The elections in Mars I want.

Speaker 2 (05:13):
To say I would love a summer election, like that
would be.

Speaker 3 (05:17):
Fun because I don't know. I have been struggling with
this is like because we don't.

Speaker 2 (05:23):
No, it's literally chop perone coded because I want to
be critical, but it's like but not right now.

Speaker 3 (05:27):
And also I'm not We're not political, Like, we're not
political commentators, so we're not actually going to comment on
on politics. So all we do is make fun of
people who care. And so then it's like, is that
our opinion? No, we also care, we're just not publicly
stating that.

Speaker 2 (05:42):
Yeah, well you just did. But I guess I'm like,
I do think needs to be let it. Okay, let's
just freaking out.

Speaker 3 (05:51):
The moaning and I can't.

Speaker 1 (05:54):
I'm a very expressive guest.

Speaker 3 (05:56):
Okay for me, please welcome my Greek brother, thank you.

Speaker 1 (06:00):
And let me just say one of the greekest entrances
I've ever seen, you know, twenty minutes late to deflect
on what a piece of shit he is, like, oh
but I have These things are troubling me. I have
to tell you, it's classic. I've seen it every baptism.

Speaker 3 (06:14):
Greek passa driver, Yeah I saw, you know, I follow
upwards of seventeen Greek mean pages and recently I saw
I mean that was like that was like, you know,
I'm gonna butcher, but it was like you know, every
expert from like an elite university like blah blah blah.
And then it's like Greek taxi driver being like, let
me tell you something, and it's like the archetype of
the Greek taxi drivers, like you enter, you haven't even

(06:36):
said hello, and he's like, and here's the deal with,
here's the deal with all this voting crap. Absolutely like
and especially during the Greek financial crisis, it would be like,
I mean, opinions you hadn't even heard.

Speaker 1 (06:48):
Of for sure, just completely off the walls.

Speaker 3 (06:50):
You wouldn't know if they were right wing or left wing.

Speaker 1 (06:51):
No, you really wouldn't. Yeah, but it is Greek supremacist totally.
Always like, well, you know, Greek people are the most
like the culture is number one, even though we've been
in decline since literally like we have we have no
like I mean, we won the euro in two thousand
and four. That was huge and that's pretty much what
we're hanging our hat on.

Speaker 3 (07:12):
I literally the other day was on eBay looking up
Euro two thousand and four jerseys, and I was like this,
I could actually make this gay, like with a little
cutoff shorts and what's the like. This was like the
team leader. He was a good player, and I think
he scored one of the winning goals. Anyway, I was like, Oh,
I'm going to get my Greek Euro two thousand and

(07:33):
four jersey for summer twenty twenty five.

Speaker 1 (07:36):
It's so hot. That'd be a great look.

Speaker 2 (07:38):
Thinking ahead in fall, you're thinking summer.

Speaker 1 (07:42):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (07:43):
This happened when we were on Soars podcast too, is
like the two of us teaching you about yeah right.

Speaker 2 (07:48):
And I just want to sit here. Yeah, you know,
before we recording, I wils like started talking to someone
who works here. Instantly, I was like, had you guys
met before? Like they started talking about football New York Jets.
It was like no, there was no hello. It was
just like, oh, do you hear this? And someone's like yeah,
I heard this, and this.

Speaker 1 (08:07):
It's sort of like a think of it as a
conversation steam room, you know what I mean. Yeah, you
guys will just jack each other off. It's sort of
how we are with Storge.

Speaker 2 (08:20):
I literally was like the manager of the bathhouse being like,
you guys, seriously.

Speaker 3 (08:24):
Stop a gay podcast.

Speaker 2 (08:27):
I just want to sweat it out.

Speaker 1 (08:32):
Yeah, but yes, I appreciate the the deflecting of being
late with like complaints transportation that I've seen that driver.

Speaker 2 (08:41):
Do you mean like how like the New York Times
always goes for like swing state voter and a diner,
or like.

Speaker 3 (08:47):
The literal literal taxi drivers in Greece. When I mean
I used to be, I used to literally be like
I'll fucking walk on the freeway. Yeah, like you just
never know what you're gonna get. And in the language,
the barrier doesn't stop them either. They will speak to
you in broken English.

Speaker 1 (09:05):
About how like coastovars are the reason of the economy
actually tanked, you know what I mean? Like that, they'll
do some weird fno, so they'll just they'll they'll be
racist to a group you didn't even know existed, you
know what I mean? In a language. They'll do it
in Italian. If they know five words, they will figure
it out. It's tough because once Uber started, I would
always pretend to you know, I look very American, like

(09:28):
no one thinks I'm so. I would like I would
like dodge all those annoying conversations by like just being
you know, a fat American usually when I was in Greece,
but uber and now stop you know Stavros pregas name,
they assume I'm Greek and then they're just they're going,
you know, they were like congratulating. You know, they would

(09:48):
be like you should bring a girl here. They were like,
you know, they'll be they'll be thrilled by Greece. She'll
become your wife. But don't leave them around the other Greek.
It's like it's like we will try and fuck your
hypothetical girlfriend. Like the just the shit these guys say
about and they do think Greece is like a magic
elixir that like solves all your problems. And in some
ways they are right because they are happier. I've thought

(10:09):
about this. You don't like no one has like any money,
but my you know, everyone has having a much better time.
They're all hanging out, they're going to the beach. The
food's better. Who gives it?

Speaker 3 (10:19):
No, It's incredible. Every time I go, I'm like, what
the hell am I doing?

Speaker 1 (10:23):
Trying to be a stand up comedian? It sucks the
United States. Yeah, No, I'm ready to I'm gonna work
hard for five more years. Yeah, for real, there's a
true plan, and I want to hit. I want to
live in Greece for four months out of the year
and that's the play. And then like come here, maybe
tour for three months, make all the money I need
to Greece, come back to New York in the fall.
It's very charming in the fall, you know what I mean.

(10:45):
And then back to fuck, I want to fucking I'm
on the I'm on the islands. Baby.

Speaker 3 (10:49):
My grandmother lives in a one bedroom apartment in Athens,
and at some point it was implied to me that
when she passes, which I hope does not happen anytime soon,
I would potentially heard it. And at first I was like,
I had to.

Speaker 1 (11:02):
Be on the record. You don't want to dead when
it At first.

Speaker 3 (11:05):
I was like it is to even At some point
at someone, I started like talking about it more and more,
and then my boyfriend was like, you need to stop
constantly talking about her. When you're old. She she's in
her she's actually doing she's doing Okay, yeah, how old
she's like in her mid eighties.

Speaker 1 (11:25):
Okay, yeah, but all listen once that nine Yeah, shows up,
started taking measurements, like you know, she just start looking
at curtains.

Speaker 3 (11:32):
She like helped raise me, and it's like she's not like,
you know, a distant grandmother that you know, I only
talked to once a year. So it is especially like I.

Speaker 2 (11:40):
Do not want her to not anytime. So maybe springy five.

Speaker 1 (11:44):
When that Jersey comes in, Well, I'm on the opposite
where it's like I love my grandmother. She helped raise
me too, but she's ninety two now and she is
begging for death. She just wants it over, and I
don't blame her. Every day will be worse than the last. Yeah,
like there's just no positives to be that.

Speaker 3 (12:03):
My other grandmother, so one of my grandmothers the most positive,
like bubbly, Like we like facet timed her into the wedding.
I just got married. We faced her into the wedding
and she was like crying and clapping whatever. The other
one you call her, she says hello, starts crying and
then it's like I love you, and then hangs up
and it's like she but then she's always complaining about

(12:23):
how we don't call her, but then when you do
call her, she literally just starts crying and hangs up
on you.

Speaker 1 (12:27):
Classic class.

Speaker 3 (12:28):
It's so And then when you're removed from that, you're like,
these people are insane. And then when you go to Greece,
realize every old woman is exactly.

Speaker 1 (12:35):
Like every old man. I mean, my father's like that.
My dad complains about no calls and it's like you
call him and he's just talking about how everything's bad,
and you know how you never call him. It's like this,
it's happening. It's happening right now, we are doing the
thing you complain, isn't happening.

Speaker 2 (12:48):
Wow, to have a dad that complains about not calling,
that's such a foreign concept to me.

Speaker 1 (12:51):
Yeah. Guilt, Greek guilt is a fuck is huge, And
I do think that's one other thing. It's like every
I would say, like eighty percent of ethnic groups are
exactly the same, and everybody pretends like everyone's like, oh,
we're always late, we eat a lot, we have and
it's like that is everyone. But wasps I think like that's.

Speaker 3 (13:10):
Literally, this is quite literally the last third of my
current hour is like, yeah, that is that, Like everyone
is the same because everyone and everyone says they value
family and food and they think they invented family.

Speaker 1 (13:21):
We're just like to.

Speaker 3 (13:22):
Get to get her, and it's it's not just family, actually,
it's relatives, like yeah yeah, and then what we actually.

Speaker 1 (13:29):
Call our you know, the guy I thought was my
uncle wasn't even to me. It's like, yeah, most people
are like that.

Speaker 3 (13:36):
People like, you know, we call her an auntie. I'm like,
I'm familiar.

Speaker 1 (13:40):
I do think that is probably just how how much
like WASP culture is like dominant in but it's like
that's they are the outlier. Literally everyone else on earth
behaves the exact same way.

Speaker 3 (13:52):
I think that's happening in media is you have to
have a wooty alan for every ethnic group, and the
one that actually needs it is wasps. There has to
be like someone making an Italian show, someone making an
Indian show, someone making a Jewish show. It's like I
want someone I want like the Philip.

Speaker 1 (14:07):
Roth of wah yeah. Yeah, yeah yeah. That's a completely
foreign world to me. I don't know how those people behave.

Speaker 3 (14:13):
It's like the country clubs and like you know, I
have like a whole thing about like adult men wearing
like salmon colored pants, and that's like not gay, it's
it's tradition.

Speaker 1 (14:23):
Yeah, yeah, for sure, I've dipped in this culture before. Right, True,
you're our closest representative.

Speaker 2 (14:31):
I'm not a perfect but you're not.

Speaker 3 (14:33):
You are Midwest rather than North.

Speaker 2 (14:36):
Right Yeah, but you know I'm like even southern the
Southern when it was like.

Speaker 1 (14:39):
Mid West too, though that is also like it is
just different types of American white people, is what we're
talking about. They're the only different They're the only like
different ones from the rest of the world. And then
probably like like China, feel like everyone's like there seems
to be a different vibe going on there, you know
what I mean? Oh, culture culturally, like you know what

(15:01):
I mean, like Asians probably like we don't know as much,
but I'm talking like Europe, Middle East, Africa.

Speaker 3 (15:08):
Like this is the clip by the way.

Speaker 1 (15:09):
Yeah, yeah, we rank parts of the world.

Speaker 3 (15:15):
Level of civilization.

Speaker 2 (15:17):
Which types of people care about family but yeah, and
which text about education?

Speaker 3 (15:22):
Yeah, that's what we all problem these days.

Speaker 1 (15:25):
Well, I will say that's where Greeks definitely drop off,
and we do not like there's like in theory we
give a fuck about education, but it's more like you
should go to school, but it's not like you know,
my parents wanted me to be a lawyer. Just cousins
felt like that's the thing you were supposed to want
your kid to do.

Speaker 2 (15:41):
It feels like there's an aesthetic of like studying that
seems really Greek and cool, Like it reminds me of
my approach to being in college. I was like, but
how amazing that I could read a poem? Yeah?

Speaker 3 (15:52):
Yeah, I mean this was a big thing where my
parents would be like, would look down on Greek Americans.
They'd be like, well, Greek Americans, you know, second generation,
Like you need to study engineering.

Speaker 1 (16:05):
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (16:06):
One time my mom heard that someone studied like some
program that was called like Russian Studies or something, and
she thought it was a joke. She was like, so
they paid to get a great that it is not
an engineering And then she kept being like it was
like a cautionary tale where whenevery when anyone got like
a B plus, she'd be like, you're gonna end up
doing Russian Studies.

Speaker 1 (16:24):
Oh yeah, okay, so maybe you do have more of
a Maybe. I'm just I always forget that my family's trash.

Speaker 3 (16:31):
No, no, it's you know, it is like this, and
I think it's not just with Greek people. I think
it's with other cultures too, the difference between first generation
and second generation, where like or even like my parents
would be so judgmental of like Greek families whose kids
didn't speak Greek.

Speaker 1 (16:46):
They'd be like that we do that, we did get,
but the educate because I was for a generation to
but yeah, my family was just like even in Greece
they were doing, we're just a very vulgar. I'm realizing
how vulgar my whole family was. And like because I
met like, you know, even your families like going engine,
you know, tell you about going to engineering and like
were proper. And then I met other friends families and
I was like, wait, everybody's not like calling each other

(17:09):
slurs and and just grabbing their tits and be like, ah,
looks like you're got fat as shit, you know those
American hot dogs a little buddy, Like that's how they
would greet me off the plane, you know. And then
I'm like, oh, maybe it's my family. Great people.

Speaker 3 (17:22):
The way people love calling someone fat.

Speaker 1 (17:25):
Oh it's like just another international Yeah, I think that's
another commenting on body.

Speaker 3 (17:29):
And then you hear someone who's like it was really
traumatic for me because my mom would always comment on
my parents.

Speaker 1 (17:34):
I'm like, spend one hour with my aunts, go visit
your relatives and Greece for what you thought was gonna
be the funnest vacation of your life, and it's you
getting bullied the whole time, but they would still feed you.

Speaker 2 (17:46):
It's I mean, that's it's at odds with the food culture.
We love you so much.

Speaker 1 (17:51):
And they were fat as shit too, by the way, suh.

Speaker 3 (17:54):
On Death's door.

Speaker 1 (17:55):
Yeah, yeah, no, my uncle has had diabetes so extremely
for thirty years. He should be studied. He's just he
has not. It's crazy. No, he hasn't really suffered any
adverse effects, but shout out to him.

Speaker 3 (18:08):
Well the Mediterranean diet.

Speaker 1 (18:11):
Yeah, just pork skewers every day. Anyway, this will become
a Greek pod. Yeah no, no, I mean will steamroll you.

Speaker 3 (18:19):
See you trying to see.

Speaker 2 (18:21):
Another thing the work I'm trying to do to be
like and how do I insert myself because I'm like, yeah,
I'm sure you know all families fat shame.

Speaker 1 (18:30):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (18:31):
Well, the funny this sort of sipcom thing would be
if you finally got the courage to say something. But
it was so racist you're like, yeah, and they're also dumber,
right you WI should we do our first segment?

Speaker 1 (18:43):
Sure?

Speaker 2 (18:49):
Was our first segments called straight shooters. And in this segment,
we're going to ask you a series of rapid fire
questions basically this thing or this other thing. And the
only rule is you can't ask any fault questions or
will scream at you.

Speaker 1 (18:59):
Love that. I'm good at that kind of stuff. I
don't need to think deeply. I just I just go
out of my brainstand.

Speaker 3 (19:05):
That's your speaking our language. Okay, stop, do not disturb
or smoke pot the herb currently, do not disturb. Wow,
big big departure for me.

Speaker 1 (19:20):
Yeah, I'm doing a sober year.

Speaker 2 (19:21):
Whoa, We'll depend on that.

Speaker 1 (19:26):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (19:26):
Wedge salad or wedge sandal.

Speaker 1 (19:30):
Salad.

Speaker 3 (19:31):
No show socks or oh show cock.

Speaker 1 (19:36):
Probably no show socks. I'm wearing them right now. And
my cock's not I don't have a show off cock.
You can't just see my cock out of context. It's
not going to do anything for you.

Speaker 2 (19:47):
Context is everything, especially speaking of Agatha all along or
Kamala the step bomb.

Speaker 1 (19:54):
Ooh, this is a tough one. I guess I'll go
aga bro, Although although I will say that her step
son listened to Cometown that that was like who steps on?
Is like somebody like posted that, like back in the day,
they were like like that kid followed us or I

(20:15):
bet you probably followed Mullen. I think I think he
was a nick a nick head and uh and then
yeah before and I just thought that was that's really
funny that it's possible that the child of the president
listened to come Town. So and I don't know, I
think I just saw somebody tag this is years ago

(20:36):
when she first was running because we we uh definitely
made fun of Kamala and I still whatever, but you know, anyway,
but I will go I'm not a big com not
a big comic, more of an RF no kidding, kidding. Uh,
And so I guess I'll go Agatha because you know,

(20:57):
she's cool. They got they got a nice cast on
that her great castle, you know what I mean? Uh, sure,
Aubrey Plaza. She's the best.

Speaker 3 (21:07):
So yeah, she's really having a great year.

Speaker 1 (21:08):
I will I will reluctantly even though I'm not a
big Marvel guy. There's enough hot ladies that are funny.
Oh man, dude, I was a little kid there's just
nothing but lapone posters on my fucking bedroom.

Speaker 3 (21:29):
It's the character of like still doesn't know he's game,
and it's like, I fucking Bernadette Peters, those two.

Speaker 1 (21:38):
You know, like you thought burn Dead Peters was hot
from from Blazing Saddles. I literally may have beat off
to that scene. So I think I am in a
very interesting place where I can even gay ship. I
can beat off to it. You know what I mean though,
because gay guys love hot ladies in the same way

(21:58):
that if you're dumb enough, you're like, yeah, I like
them too, I just want to fuck them. I don't
respect their artistry.

Speaker 3 (22:05):
I just def but being so dumb, you don't know
that it's because you're gay. Oh, I guess I want to.

Speaker 2 (22:13):
Well, this is like literally how I feel about like
Lady Gaga, where I'm like, is anyone attracted like I don't.
I only know gay guys that are just standing her
that I can't imagine someone thinking of.

Speaker 3 (22:21):
This is also how I feel about who's so like
Regal No, she's gorgeous.

Speaker 1 (22:27):
Lady Gaga comparison is a little truer.

Speaker 3 (22:31):
Obviously is beautiful, but there's something everyone like built her
up to be this deity that it's so funny to
imagine some like random guy being like I would suck her.

Speaker 1 (22:39):
You know what I mean. That's hysterical, you guys think
that again, I mean not to expose myself too much,
but I grew I grew up in the era of
just beating off to music videos.

Speaker 3 (22:50):
Sure, you know what I mean.

Speaker 1 (22:51):
So it's like I just you know, three Bonnie and
Clyve pretty good in that.

Speaker 3 (22:56):
I guess that was before she became the true I
was there. She's essentially like a senator.

Speaker 2 (22:59):
No, true, I had not you know, senators to say
Bonnie and Clyde and three to have like the gay
guy and cyclopatic knowledge of when things come out.

Speaker 1 (23:10):
But for the yeah, that is, I do think why
I get along with the gay guys for real?

Speaker 3 (23:16):
Because I do.

Speaker 1 (23:17):
It is like an interesting like I am stupid enough,
but I do also appreciate, appreciate, appreciate women on like
I respect them and want to fuck them. Wow, it's
kind of you know, I'm a special guy. That's amazing.

Speaker 3 (23:29):
Okay, stop, this is an honor ofver friend Julio. The
woke mind virus or the joke is that the fondest papyrus.

Speaker 1 (23:36):
Jugging that the fondest papyrus.

Speaker 2 (23:38):
Okay, a psychopath or a cycling path.

Speaker 3 (23:41):
Cycling path, being addicted to your phone, being evicted from
your home, or being afflicted with a syndrome.

Speaker 1 (23:48):
Oh I guess phone.

Speaker 2 (23:50):
Okay, And an ingrown toenail or an outgoing voicemail outgoing voicemail.

Speaker 1 (23:56):
That's good. Wow. So you know.

Speaker 3 (24:00):
We ranked our guests performance on a scale of zero
to one thousand doves named after a Lady Gaga song
one thousand dollars.

Speaker 1 (24:06):
See that's where my knowledge.

Speaker 3 (24:08):
That a deep cutting that already unpopular album.

Speaker 2 (24:11):
Okay, no, it was very popular.

Speaker 3 (24:15):
Have you seen Joker too?

Speaker 1 (24:16):
Not yet? I am pumped at how much people hate it.

Speaker 3 (24:18):
It's crazy. Yeah, we were just talking about this in Chicago,
like we didn't expect for it to just not go anywhere.
Like we thought either it would be really good or something,
or like at least really critically claimed like Joker Wedding
or such a flop that it would be funny. But
it's sort of just like, oh, no, where is it?

Speaker 1 (24:35):
Where's see?

Speaker 3 (24:37):
Okay?

Speaker 1 (24:37):
This is how much I love I love shit that
sucks so much that I actually it's a fucked up
because it's fucked up that the fact that it's not
for most people, it's not so bad it's good means
that it's so actually bad that to me it's so
bad it's good, Like I love, I can't wait. I
can't wait to see it now in a way that

(24:58):
I wasn't feeling before, because I want to be like, hmm,
I want to like I want to feel forty minutes
of nothing.

Speaker 3 (25:04):
That's how we felt about Madam Webb.

Speaker 2 (25:06):
Yeah we love yeah, well, but madam, what was funny
that got this so bad? It's like, this will get
this is like boring, but.

Speaker 1 (25:13):
There's something yet, there's something. I've warped my brain so
much too ironically love shit. No, it's even Madam Webb
was good, but it's surface level bad. It's like there's
like levels of being a hit esoteric hater.

Speaker 3 (25:26):
This is also you being a gig gun. No, you're
looking for the camp element. You're like this is not
bad enough? Yeah, yeah yeah, Why isn't her wig worse?

Speaker 1 (25:34):
Yeah? Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 2 (25:35):
I found myself last night reminiscing about because I love
things that suck, and especially bars. When a bar is
bad I'm in Heaven and I used to love his
bar called love Gun that was started by Anderson Cooper's husband,
and it was in.

Speaker 1 (25:50):
Named after a kiss song. That's a kiss song, love Gun.

Speaker 3 (25:53):
Yeah. Was he married? Did get divorced?

Speaker 2 (25:55):
Did they get divorced? I don't know.

Speaker 3 (25:56):
I just think of him as a single dad. That's
why he's so inspirational to it.

Speaker 1 (26:00):
There's a single dead that just descended from the Vanderbilts.

Speaker 2 (26:04):
This is like, this was like ten years ago, okay,
and truly, they like williams Wig was not ready for
like a dancy place yet, and they shipped gay guys
in from Hell's Kitchen the.

Speaker 3 (26:14):
First shuttle, and everyone.

Speaker 2 (26:19):
That actually lived round the bar was like, well I
will never go to this.

Speaker 1 (26:22):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (26:22):
So two weeks later, completely empty, and I was like,
this is my fucking split.

Speaker 1 (26:27):
It does sound awesome. Yeah, it's a gay dance bar
that flopped.

Speaker 2 (26:31):
Truly, zero people attendance. The bartenders changed the price of
drinks every day because no one's there.

Speaker 3 (26:36):
The terrible bar. And also it's the best for having
like a birthday party or something like I'll take over. Yeah,
it's heaven, it's my stage.

Speaker 1 (26:43):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (26:43):
I was genuinely sad when it closed, but it was like,
of course it closed, Yeah, I can't have a private club.

Speaker 1 (26:48):
Yeah yeah, yeah, but it was nice for that last
of course, got I miss it.

Speaker 3 (26:51):
So we rank from zero to one thousand doves. I
think your performance was incredible.

Speaker 1 (26:55):
Thank you.

Speaker 3 (26:56):
I actually really liked that. At some you were being
like fast, fast, fast, and at some point you got
really you started like analyzing there sides.

Speaker 1 (27:06):
But could we couldn't go overboard? We could some people
go lightning round. We had to get a lightning The
lighting round is part of it too. Of course, sometimes
you have to.

Speaker 3 (27:13):
Eat it, and you did it. Like right in the middle,
you were like, it's time for an intermission.

Speaker 1 (27:18):
I thank you. I appreciate it.

Speaker 2 (27:20):
Guys that it was really good. Yeah yeah, So wait,
tell us about your sober year. When did it start?

Speaker 1 (27:29):
I turned thirty five in February, Okay, So I mean
I'm about eight months in sober from everything everything pretty much.
I mean like just boo yeah, booze pill. I mean
I was just getting really fucked up and being very
unhealthy for the last before this year, the last I
guess three years, I just had like kind of a
never ending once the pandemic ended, it was just a bender. Yeah,

(27:53):
and I got so fucked up and so like I
just felt so horrible and it was like my life
was going better, like that was the fuck up things,
Like I was not feeling any consequences except my health
and then and I could have kept going, like they
would have let me keep touring until I died. But
I was like, you know what, I I don't want to, like,

(28:13):
I don't I wouldn't want to be like scared, you
know what I mean, Like because I'm just eating so much,
and it was like my blood was just always like pork, fat,
dick pills, edibles like it, you know what I mean.
I was like, I gotta fucking chill.

Speaker 3 (28:26):
Out, and you did cold turkey all of that pretty much.

Speaker 1 (28:30):
And the weed was the hardest thing because I was
so that was my main I mean, food was the
hardest and it's still is still the hardest, but that's
kind of a you gotta eat. Unfortunately in a very
fucked up way. I would love to be able to
take fucking soilent pills.

Speaker 2 (28:43):
I have to do, That's all I want.

Speaker 3 (28:45):
But yeah, literally the only joy in life this order,
that's all I.

Speaker 1 (28:50):
Want yeah, exactly, exactly.

Speaker 3 (28:51):
Yeah, this is one of our biggest differences restaurants, and
you do not give a shit about it.

Speaker 2 (28:56):
You know you don't like restaurants. I mean I like them,
but I'm like, I don't want to have to go
to them all the time.

Speaker 1 (29:00):
I book in your perfect world, how many times a
week are you at a wrestaurant?

Speaker 3 (29:04):
Well, so it's funny you asked that. My partner is
a restaurant critic. Oh so he literally his job is
going constantly and I had to like put my I
was like, I have to go once a week otherwise
it'll lose its magic.

Speaker 1 (29:19):
Sure for me, I get that.

Speaker 3 (29:20):
I know everyone at home is like, wow, he's so brave. Yeah,
but anyway, but I mean that that has only been
going on for like six months. He was that wasn't
always a job, but before that, Like, yeah, I would say,
a really nice restaurant meal once a week keeps me.

Speaker 1 (29:34):
I'm with you.

Speaker 3 (29:35):
Yeah, I like that, And I like cooking. I don't
want I'm not one of these people that like every
night wants to order a different kind of take. Yeah,
Like I enjoy cooking. I like the bait, Like I
like great food. I like home cooked food, but like
I mean, I'm going to a restaurant ordering Marti then
ordering appetizers possibly.

Speaker 2 (29:53):
I mean it's fun, especially as I've gotten older, I'm
starting to appreciate it more.

Speaker 1 (29:57):
Well as you've gotten older, replaces getting fucked up with Yes,
you know what I mean. Like now it's like, let's
actually catch up. We don't see each other right, like,
and you don't want to be hungover anymore. Like that
was another brutal. That's probably why I went more weed
than booze. Yeah, it's like the hangovers were getting brutal,
especially when you're unhealthy. And uh, and yeah, it's just
a fun I'm with you, I like in a perfect

(30:18):
world once a week and you get to see friends
totally is incredible, But there is something to I'm trying
to get. So the Soviet has been fine and then
like I'm trying to get like I'm just eating regular,
just in a routine. But we were talking a little bit.
You know, we had some time before the podcast started,
me saying.

Speaker 2 (30:37):
Twenty or whatever.

Speaker 3 (30:39):
If I hadn't been late, we wouldn't have gotten that
amazing instro. What would you guys have talked.

Speaker 2 (30:44):
About schedule today, you know, but I was my process.

Speaker 1 (30:51):
I was saying that now because I was. I was
basically just hanging out. I also like took touring off,
so I didn't turtle and I just I acted in
a couple things, but there was no My schedule was
pretty much just wake up, go for like nice little
long walks, go to the fucking farmers market, cook, you know,
grill out. Like I was having such a healthy, incredible

(31:12):
and I was like dropping weight and feeling good and
like feeling creative. And then I came back and I
was like all right, and I started doing stand up
again three weeks ago, and my life has instantly fallen
apart instant. I mean it's not just that, it's like
we're we're shooting tires. I have an indie movie. Let's
start a cult coming out which people please come, you know.

Speaker 3 (31:33):
Please, yes, thank you for promoting, thank you.

Speaker 2 (31:37):
When we got here, I did actually get this information
and forgot to say.

Speaker 1 (31:40):
No, I forgot too. We were into the zone. I
would prefer talking about fucking Patty Lapone over promoting as well.
But uh yeah, and so I have to I just
did I either I'm a man of extremes is what
I'm realizing, And like, I went from doing nothing to
doing four things and there's no and I could stay.
So I haven't, even though I've wanted to get fucked up.

(32:01):
When I feel the stressed, that's been fine, But the
first thing that goes is eating like a fucking like
and it hasn't gotten too bad. I'm still in that
phrase phase where you're still trying to create something unhealthy
out of your healthy ingredients. So I'm like putting like
mashing like protein bars into halo top and you know
what I mean, like mixing pretending it's a Q blizzard,

(32:21):
you know, and putting a little bit of peanut butter.
But my demons are doing push ups getting ready for
that first seamless order, you know what I mean, They're
getting ready.

Speaker 3 (32:30):
Crazy how easy it is for good habits to just so.

Speaker 1 (32:34):
Fast so fast. I worked hard as fuck for like
six months, and it took two weeks of like just
being sort of stressed out and and like just not
even just having to have a schedule. Yeah, I was like, fuck,
I got it.

Speaker 3 (32:48):
That thing is like when you develop good habits when
you're unemployed. This happened to me too. Because I like
was unemployed for an extended period of time and then
got a job. I was like, oh, so it wasn't
that I was like becoming a better person. It was that,
like the only way to not be suicidal to go
to the gym because my career was in the trash.

Speaker 1 (33:04):
Yeah. Yeah, well that's the Greek mindset. We're not meant
to work, No meant we're meant to fucking philosophy.

Speaker 2 (33:11):
And how you're doing that thing where you're saying this
is a cultural thing.

Speaker 1 (33:15):
No, no, no, you wouldn't be able to hang out
the way we could hang out.

Speaker 3 (33:20):
I promise the thing.

Speaker 1 (33:21):
I could do nothing forever and I would be fine,
but not just nothing.

Speaker 3 (33:24):
The more the more we do nothing, the more entitled
we feel to be prescriptive of everyone else's behavior. It's
like we gain power through lethargy. Like we're just like
yving having Like it's like you're sitting at a cafe.
You're having coffee in the morning uzo.

Speaker 1 (33:38):
And four hour coffee. By four hour coffee, you would
start shaking it two and a half hours. I'm just
getting started two and a half.

Speaker 3 (33:46):
They're also pumping themselves up with caffeine and you're like,
how are all And maybe.

Speaker 1 (33:50):
Then you take a nap, You drink coffee for four hours,
do nothing all day, and then you're like, ah, the
sun's out, the sun's at his highest point. Time to nap,
and then they get up and fucking have dinner at
eleven pm.

Speaker 3 (34:00):
Wake up after that two sub black yt Yeah, them
go to the beach, but the beach.

Speaker 1 (34:05):
From from like six fifteen to six forty five just
to get the salt in, you know what I mean,
the sun's going down.

Speaker 3 (34:11):
They got it all during that half hour. Like god,
Greece is the most beautiful country in the world.

Speaker 1 (34:16):
Yeah, I wish man one day, one day, I'll get there.

Speaker 2 (34:20):
I do think I like not working, of course, but
I don't like I actually do get very annoyed when
a country has a relaxed service industry.

Speaker 1 (34:29):
Yeah, oh you got that.

Speaker 2 (34:31):
I go, I go buck. I get like mad in
a way that is like unnatural.

Speaker 1 (34:37):
That you got to got to solve that.

Speaker 3 (34:38):
I get upset when that America has a bad like
true because because when I'm in America, I'm like, okay,
so we're not having fun here, like we're expected to
literally kill ourselves to you know, have health care. Yep,
so I'm gonna get that latte fan time.

Speaker 1 (34:51):
Yes.

Speaker 3 (34:52):
Yeah, Like in Greece, I'm like, all right, there's a
given take like we're all chilling.

Speaker 1 (34:55):
Yeah, I'm that's fully how I feel. Yeah, and that's yeah,
you're just chilling. That's what you have to you know, Yes,
the meal ends. Put another forty minutes until you get
the bill minimumnim.

Speaker 3 (35:06):
My favorite is especially growing up, like we've.

Speaker 1 (35:08):
Done it again, by the way, yeah, one more point
and then like no, no.

Speaker 3 (35:15):
So let's say go to a restaurant, okay, and you're like,
how you know when's the next table for six is
gonna be available? The waitress will be like, well, you know,
they just finished dessert, so you know they're gonna have
want to have a cigarette, So probably forty five minutes.

Speaker 1 (35:30):
Yeah, that's awesome.

Speaker 2 (35:33):
All right, speaking of chilling, chilling, should we get into
the Yeah, let's do it, and yeah, please tell us
what your topic is and what is straight about it
to you?

Speaker 1 (35:42):
Well, I my topic is the man cave. The concept
of the man cave, which isn't incredible, it is one
of the it's one of these things that I do
in theory think is awesome. Sure, but it also is
like proof and how much so many straight couples just
hate each other, you know what I mean. It's like
it's like one of the most clear like, oh, you

(36:03):
need a completely separate space that your wife is not
allowed to ever go into to have a good time,
which is so it's like, but the elements of the
man Cave are incredible, big ass TV, comfortable fucking chairs,
a little mini fridge, you know what I mean, with.

Speaker 2 (36:19):
The reliest decor you could ever imagine.

Speaker 1 (36:21):
I see, my man Cave is more of a woodsy feel.
My entire decor style, you know what I mean, Like
that like kind of feels like the den or like
let's taste your room, you know what I mean. Yeah,
And so I love I love every element of the
man Cave. So that's why I just thought it was
a very interesting topic for as a straight topic, because

(36:44):
it's good I think in theory, but it also just
shows how much, like you know, just so many couples
in America Haiti truly despise it.

Speaker 2 (36:53):
I do think there's something like the despising is a
very smart point. And I even think like culturally, I'm like, oh,
I think I see I'm you saying that. I'm like,
I see the value in it right this second. Because
straight couples can't have conversations really like, they can't be like,
they can't be like, hey, I need some space tonight. Yeah,
so you have to be like I have have to

(37:14):
build a new house so much.

Speaker 3 (37:17):
So many traditions are like or it's like the woman
will have girls night and she's like, well, let's sacred.
Once a month we go and get trashed Margerita. It's
like and if I don't do that, I'll go They
each like the language of marriage is so prison like.
It's like we need If she doesn't get her break,
she'll snap, and if he doesn't get his break, he'll snap.

Speaker 2 (37:38):
And one like does need a break. One does need
like alone time to feel some autonomy. But there's also
like you could just you don't have to have it
be like I have to do my girls night.

Speaker 3 (37:50):
It's this organic thing, like the perfect relationship. It's just
like everyone's sort of nose like, oh, I see what
I'm watching something my show in the living room, which
he doesn't like, and I know that we have slightly
different tastes, so he's just sort of like quietly gonna
go to the bedroom beyond his lap. Yeah, and that's
not a big deal.

Speaker 1 (38:06):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah. Or even like just
go outside or go for a walk, go for a
drink with a friend or whatever.

Speaker 3 (38:12):
Exactly.

Speaker 1 (38:13):
Yes, in a perfect world. But yeah, you can't have
you can't play it by ear. It has to almost
be written into the constitution of the marriage. It's like
you are not allowed in here, you know what I mean.

Speaker 2 (38:24):
Yeah, very not improv based.

Speaker 1 (38:26):
Yeah, yeah, but I do. Having said that, I love
I do want a huge TV sure, and a fucking
like comfy ass ergonomic chair and a mini fridge and
like just that stuff to me is important. And so
it's like I've tried to just kind of sprinkle it

(38:46):
into just the core of a regular house, yeah, to
just make it so it's like yeah, this, there are
there are things to learn from the man cave, you
know what I mean, the comfort, the ads comfort above
all else.

Speaker 2 (38:58):
Well, I and this is part of what's straight up
it too, is it's like a little boy's dream of
what his house is. And it's like, you know, women
have to grow up whereas.

Speaker 3 (39:07):
Well, that's between men and women, as as what's her name,
said Dua Lipa said. Boys will be boys, but girls
will be women. So well, the other thing is, you know,
part of decor is expressing yourself to the world. It's
where you welcome guests, it's where it's how people see like, oh,
this is what this couple is all about. But the

(39:27):
thing about a man cave is like it's the man's
biggest dream because you don't have to show it, Like
it's like my little secret. Like I don't have to
put a little throw if I spill beer on the couch,
I'm leaving it there.

Speaker 1 (39:40):
Interesting. Yeah, wow, isn't it isn't it? See?

Speaker 3 (39:44):
But then you have your boys.

Speaker 1 (39:45):
Is the bull? It's for the bull. It's like being like, dude,
check this out, and you might not even like some
of the I'm with you. That actually is the true
platonic ideal of the man cave is no one gets
to see it. You get to actually live as you are.
But even the main cave is subject to the whims
of the boys. You know that there is no actual

(40:06):
which is it's no that's interesting.

Speaker 3 (40:09):
It's like you think you're escaping you know, social criticism
and stuff, but in fact it's just the male version
of a woman being like, well, I got the expensive dress,
and I hope everyone notices.

Speaker 1 (40:21):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (40:21):
I mean I feel this way with like gay decore
a lot too, where it's like we think we're like
transcending all norms and it's like, no, we're just creating
the new gay norm like which.

Speaker 3 (40:32):
Will become the new straight norms and approximately because all
of our houses are like quirky in the same ways,
and like, well, give me some examples here so I
can steal, can be ahead of the straight curve and
just kind of steal immediately. Let's see. Well, you know,
a big thing is vintage versus new. I feel like
vintage finds is a huge part of GAB.

Speaker 1 (40:53):
And that's big pieces. You want big vintage pieces or
do you want to like accent.

Speaker 3 (40:57):
I would say, I would say couch. Well, we got
a vintage couch once and it was stunning, but it
was so uncomfortable we had to return it.

Speaker 1 (41:06):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's an issue, and I definitely think
that's where I draw the line. I can't the couch,
although that's having become a chair for me guy, right,
because I bought I bought a chair because I was
like watching so much. One time I threw my back
out because I watched television for ten straight hours and
I was like, I need a special chair for this.

Speaker 3 (41:26):
I like that is the conclusion, Like, wait a minute,
I need a special chair.

Speaker 1 (41:32):
Sometimes you're gonna want to watch four movies, George, you
know that, And it was movie.

Speaker 3 (41:36):
It was moving that I respect. Yeah, I think more
people should be watching four movies rather than spending ten
hours watching Love is Blind.

Speaker 2 (41:42):
Oh enough judgment.

Speaker 1 (41:45):
And obviously sports is the other one. I can really
crank a sports day. But a sports day to me
includes grilling. It includes getting up, getting a fucking little bevy.
You're actually moving a little bit, You're tense if it's
your team, I'm you know, I'm fucking pacing around. So
it actually is movies. To me, that's the biggest. I
can just sit in front of the TV for ten
hours kind of thing. But anyway, because I got I

(42:08):
have a I've just become an expensive chair for me. Guy,
I think I could maybe go couch more for for
the eye. But still, I just because comfort is such
a core value of mine, I want my guests to
also be incredibly comfortable. So I don't think I could
do like a fun you know, green couch or some
ship that feels bad on your.

Speaker 3 (42:28):
Back the delivery of that couch, or.

Speaker 1 (42:36):
I've seen a couple of green couches.

Speaker 2 (42:38):
Yeah, the I think that's the biggest. Sometimes I'm like,
I'm not a real gay guy because my couch is comfortable,
like it would be like every every time guys come over,
I'm like.

Speaker 1 (42:51):
Sorry, sorry, sorry to provide lumbar support.

Speaker 3 (42:56):
What color is your couch currently?

Speaker 2 (42:58):
I just got like a new well a second hand couch,
of course, but it's like brown leather, Okay, your couch.

Speaker 1 (43:05):
It's like a gray exactly.

Speaker 3 (43:06):
So one of the big things is I feel like
the one color a couch, a gay couch camp be
is gray. Interesting, specifically a darker gray. There's something you
could do with a more like uh not silver, what's
the word I'm looking for, Like a more like a
light gray that's almost in jeweled, like, but all straight

(43:27):
men gravitate towards dark gray couches. Interesting, and there's something
so like dorm and teen.

Speaker 1 (43:34):
Well that's what's so. What my couch is is So
I've been in the same apartment for ten years now.
I moved to Queen's with I moved into a three
bedroom with three of my friends. So there's four of us,
and our first couch was I was subletting a place
and my bed was a gray Ikea couch that there
was a pull out, and I was like, hey, guys,

(43:55):
they said I could have the couch. Should this be
our couch? And so we just all got used to
a gray couch in that corner. And then now I
got and then you know, year ten years later, it's
just me right. So it's like everything is just a
much better version of the Ikea stuff I have, Like
it is expensive, it is nice, like it actually does
look nice. But it is the best version of that

(44:18):
Ikea cats like a I don't know, room and board
or some shit, and it's like, but it is a gray,
big ass sectional for having all like all my it's
such a big ass couch. Me and like my four
best friends who are huge men can all fit into it.
It's comfortable, but again above all else.

Speaker 3 (44:36):
So by the way, we have a room boards sexual
so we can find there.

Speaker 1 (44:40):
We're got now and you know, and you know what
I just realize I have in Baltimore, So in being
New York, I have a great couch, but Baltimore. I
have a place, and we wanted to feel like a
vacation home, so I do have It's kind of it
is actually maybe I was sending shots to myself. It
is kind of green. It's like more blue. It's like
an Aquamorrie. But it was but the idea was like,

(45:01):
you know, vacation home in Baltimore kind of thing. So
but I guess I was thinking vintage high back, weird
shape green.

Speaker 3 (45:11):
I do think that like for straight men they think
neutral is gray, and for gay men they think neutral
is the beige brown like spectrum. Like it's it's like absolutely, and.

Speaker 1 (45:27):
I think I think is kind of a choice exactly.

Speaker 3 (45:31):
Both of them want the same thing, which is like neutrals.
So that then on top of it, you can have
a fun poster, you can have a fun frame thing,
you can have a fun pillow, and so the goal
is the same. But this is you know, their mind
works in different ways, where straight men are just like
all right, so like a sort of T shirt material
dark gray.

Speaker 2 (45:51):
Yep, this is maybe now that there's a straight guy
on the podcast, Yeah, I'm like questioning judgment, let's chat.
But there is something where I'm like, I sometimes think
straight men's decor is informed by like this is a
placeholder until wife gets here, because wife will do everything.

Speaker 1 (46:10):
Yeah see I guess I mean, yes, I just am
not that like I who know, the wife is not
on the horizon. I've I'm I have had. I'm a
more of a Peter Pan straight guy. They can't even
fathom like having a family and responsibilities.

Speaker 2 (46:26):
So I do again gay coated Yeah yeah, a yeah.

Speaker 1 (46:29):
A little bit yeah yeah. And so I and I
just want to be the kind of person who has
some taste, you know what I mean, Like I want to.
I don't want I want when a woman comes into
my life, I want there to be like an argument
over how things look. I don't want to.

Speaker 3 (46:46):
But that's like the classic bachelor mentality is like and
that's what that's where, you know, the sort of more
sophisticated version of man cave, which is bachelor path. Yeah yeah,
a man that has decided I'm gonna have taste.

Speaker 1 (46:58):
Okay, because that's what I'm working on right now. I'm like,
I got rugs were a big thing that I got into,
like because my mom also grew up when I was
growing up. My mom was repairing like Persian oriental rugs.
That was her gig. She's awaits at a Greek restaurant
and she would repair rugs. So I spent a lot
of my time as a little kid just like running
around this like antique rug store. So I really do

(47:18):
like those aesthetics. And I bought a bunch of nice
rugs for my place. And now I'm trying to get
into fucking art, but it's like I don't know where
to buy. It's hard, you know what I mean? Like
where do I do it?

Speaker 2 (47:29):
Well? One thing that this has made me think of
is that, like you know, like peacocking, Like when like
peacocks like have the big feathers to attract mates, Like
do straight men that want a wife actively not developed
taste to show that they're open to a partner reverse peacock?

Speaker 1 (47:43):
Because you guys are right, I know you said that,
and I know a few guys that it's like their
wife will come in when they find one and just
absolutely everything is just the nicest thing they sell at
Target is what their house looks like, and they're just
ready for a woman to just tell them out of
fucking no.

Speaker 3 (48:00):
The placeholder thing really is so real.

Speaker 1 (48:02):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, reverse peacock, reverse peacock, because there is
I have. Are there definitely certain things that I like
my big ass chair. That's and then maybe to come
back around to the man cave situation, I don't want
to live, you know, when I find a relationship, I
don't want to be sequestered to the man cave. So
I'm trying to figure out a way to sort of

(48:25):
make man cave. The necessary man cave elements, I'm trying
to fold them into a reasonable living room.

Speaker 3 (48:32):
So that's a bachelor pad. Then, okay, don't you think
I sort of think like when you like a man
cave is for a bachelor pad, is making a man
cave presentable and sheep and hospitable.

Speaker 1 (48:47):
To it's suburban man cave is way more like suburban exerbs,
like you know what I mean. Whereas like like, for example,
instead of a big ass recliner, it is an expensive,
like fucking Norwegian cha chair, yeah something like that, but
that is is just as comfortable. And instead of a
huge TV, I have a fucking projector all of a
sudden projector it's like we're in a movie theater. It's

(49:09):
still just one hundred inch television. Yeah, I still watch,
you know, but you know, it's like a woman sees
like a frame and it's like, what's that? And then
you fucking a projector starts up and it's like, wow,
this guy's fucking he's a film. He's a fucking you know,
a cinephon file. You know, I'm usually watching sports on it,
but that's nobody. Nice to know that, you know what
I mean. I'm watching down movies in a row and

(49:34):
that's once a month. Yeah yeah, because my back is
still kind of fucked up from it. But yeah, anyway,
so that's but I the bachelor anyway, the I didn't
think about the bachelor pad as a may And maybe
I say this now because I am a bachelor, but
maybe inevitably I will just end up with a man cave.
Maybe I'm fighting, I'm fighting, I wonder.

Speaker 2 (49:55):
I mean, we'll see, hopefully, you know, when you when
you find one, maybe you're you're perfect. Uh, the esthetics
will match.

Speaker 1 (50:06):
Yeah, I think so. I recently realized that when people
want to get married, they are not thinking of a
bad marriage. Like I couldn't understand why, you know what
I mean, Like I until this year, I was like,
I don't get it. Everybody want that. Everybody's parents that
I knew hated each other, got divorced, cheated on each other.

(50:29):
And then I realized, wait, they're not imagining that. They're
just imagining I want to be with the person who
loves me the most and cares for me. It's like,
oh wait, yeah, that would be fucking awesome if you
find someone that's perfect for you. I think it's a
little naive.

Speaker 3 (50:44):
It's the biggest denial of reality. That's why. Yeah, it's
so it's truly like one of the last remaining like uh,
magical thinking things we have, Like everyone has become so cynical,
and yet somehow people still believe miraculously after so much.
It into the contrary that marriage will work.

Speaker 1 (51:02):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (51:02):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (51:03):
To me, literally feels like like you have to like, hey,
do your hours, Like yeah. I really felt like like
taking my driver's test or something where it's like I
need to get like seventy two hours before I can
like really take this test. And it felt like like
I was like, I don't want to get married till
we've been together for so long that it's boring interesting
that I'm not like thinking about it. In like a

(51:23):
magical way, right, and so.

Speaker 1 (51:26):
It just makes sense at this point, which is true.
Like sometimes you just see couple like I remember, I
would just you just see couples that you're like, that's
never gonna work, and then just by the fact that
they stay together, you inevitably get closer. Yeah, and then
maybe you figure maybe like over time, it's like huh,
I get like they took something that had not as

(51:46):
much natural compatibility, but over time they did actually work
on it like adults and not try. And I was like,
so that's also and it's just taking me this long
I'm thirty five to even consider that it might be possible.

Speaker 3 (51:58):
I actually think often people who are sort of find
themselves in a position to get married and do it
by default have a happier marriage than those who like
fall deeply in love because it becomes more of like
a business partner.

Speaker 2 (52:10):
It's almost like the new arranged marriage. Yeah, self arranged.

Speaker 3 (52:13):
I mean when I I one time asked my grandmother like,
how did you and me? And she said, you know,
in that day, boys would whistle outside your window and
he was good at whistling, and then uh we married
a month later. Yeah, your parents she was like yeah,
she was literally like I was.

Speaker 1 (52:33):
He had the most incredible mating dance.

Speaker 3 (52:35):
And I mean it literally is mating.

Speaker 1 (52:37):
That's incredible.

Speaker 3 (52:38):
Said the boys would whistle, and he was good at whistling. Oh,
like my god. And now you've been married for like
seven years and have two children and well now I
know she's crying on the phone all the time.

Speaker 1 (52:51):
Yeah no, but they like me.

Speaker 3 (52:52):
It was like, stop, she built a relationship on a whistle.

Speaker 1 (52:55):
It is true, though, It's like the more the way,
like why are we depressed? Because like you're not just
in a like scavenging berries and trying to survive. It's
the same thing of like why why why aren't relationships fulfilling?
It's like because you know, they're not like those old
relationship's like well you just do get married. It's something
that happens and you just like make It's like, you know,

(53:17):
you just make the best of it. We have too
much choice, way too much choice. But and that's and
when you were saying do your hours in a relationship,
I was thinking of it the other way because I
feel like I've done my hours in like being single,
where I'm like, I know this sucks. I know this
is fucking I know that like I've been destroyed any
like idea of true love or like the people that

(53:40):
I've I've really loved. It's like, oh, that didn't fucking work.
And so it's like, well, you know, let's open up
knowing how horrible this is. It's like, is marriage going
to be bad worse than this? Probably not, honestly, even
if I'm not even if I'm not super compatible with someone,
and I also know not to expect that level of
like yeah, but then at the same time a party

(54:00):
that's like but maybe you know what I mean, but
maybe there is no.

Speaker 2 (54:05):
Actually I have a really really similar perspective on life
in general, like optimism through pessimism. Yeah yeah, but it's
just like when things are you're like, well everything is horrible, yeah,
so maybe things will be better yeah yeah, yeah, yeah.
If it sucks, that's okay because everything.

Speaker 3 (54:21):
So you guys are literally being the kid in American
Beauty who thinks the plastic bag is beautiful to be there.

Speaker 2 (54:26):
I do think plastic bag is beautiful. Health that is
probably ur can tell her.

Speaker 3 (54:31):
So true.

Speaker 1 (54:34):
But anyway, so yeah.

Speaker 2 (54:36):
Okay, Well, what we haven't talked about yet, which of
course is the other side of this binary is the
she shed?

Speaker 3 (54:43):
Okay, can I say I've never heard that trim in
my life? Really is that a thing that people say?

Speaker 1 (54:46):
I have heard it, but it feels like one of
those really forced like when people say jilling off. It's
like no one says, so I just say a girl
jacked off, you know what I mean, Like that's what
it like. It just feels like one of those like
there's equivalent for everything. It's like, no, there isn't, there's
no you know. But but having said that, I think
there's nothing I so I actually do think there's something

(55:09):
cool about the idea of people having separate bedrooms and
then just choosing to sleep at like same house, separate bedroom.
So it's like she shed, you know, that's a horrible
term that doesn't really exist. But I do think like
in a maybe in a healthy place, like everyone does
have their own little zone and it's maybe less of
a thing. It's just like you just happen to get

(55:30):
a house where were like, hey, I'm in the garage
more and you get to your office is like your
essential place, and it's like I don't think there's anything
wrong with that. Maybe that's maybe that's the biggest problem
is all these labels on these on these rooms in
your house.

Speaker 2 (55:43):
She was branding. She was branding. I mean, I am
sort of it right now. I'm thinking about like, okay, wait,
is this only an invention because Low's one day was like,
we gotta sell all these stupid.

Speaker 3 (55:59):
Back to like when was man cave invented?

Speaker 2 (56:02):
Literally when was it invented?

Speaker 1 (56:04):
You're right, because all of these things, it probably is
a marketing thing because they're just like, we just have
to sell all the stupid and it's and by the way,
it's brilliant.

Speaker 3 (56:10):
Well because they're losing. You know, straight people would get
married and then men would not have I would not
be able to buy all the things they wanted. Woman
was in charge of the decor. You get a whole
nother living exactly like Okay, So first of all, it's
fueling the real estate markets, so they.

Speaker 1 (56:24):
Need one more bedroom of course, and signed.

Speaker 3 (56:29):
The way to get the economy back on track is
to invent a new room that everyone has to have
at their house. Could it be and it can be
queer inclusive.

Speaker 1 (56:36):
To Okay, hmmm, this is tough. There's a per person
the poly yeah.

Speaker 2 (56:46):
That's what you said inclusive. That is where my mind went.
And everyone needs sex, actually everyone does need a sex
Like imagine there was a room to have sex in,
and then it would be like okay fun. And also
then when you didn't have sex and the sex room,
you'd be like, we're crazy.

Speaker 1 (57:00):
Yeah right right. Isn't that your bedroom?

Speaker 2 (57:01):
I guess you have the bedroom so like not sexy.
It's like the bed is like where you sleep, Like, yeah, do.

Speaker 3 (57:15):
You feel you relate to the like trope of uh
winding to have sex in many different rooms in your house?
I feel like that's actually do okay. I think it's
like I do as well. Yeah, it's a little especially okay,
living room fine.

Speaker 1 (57:28):
Getting sucked off in the kitchen, like, what the hell
is going on here?

Speaker 2 (57:31):
It's no, it's crazy. Yeah yeah, like this doesn't make.

Speaker 3 (57:37):
Canceled dinner plans.

Speaker 1 (57:41):
Give it a whirl. Yeah, I think it is anything
that's like a little you know. That's also why I
feel like people are more like maybe there's again a
straight thing, but I feel like more adventurous. On vacation,
you'll do some some freaky ship on vacation.

Speaker 3 (57:57):
Life is all about escape. Yeah, yeah, yeah, do I
escape to my man cave? Do I escape on vacation?
You get a honeymoon? Like it's like if you sit
still for more than two seconds, you're like, oh god,
oh god, oh god.

Speaker 1 (58:07):
Yeah, yeah, which I get.

Speaker 2 (58:08):
Gay people escape too, it's just like through other partners,
like yeah.

Speaker 1 (58:12):
You know, you're absolutely you guys haven't figured out you guys,
it's like shape people don't haven't developed. Everything's oral tradition.
There's no written language. You guys should figured out the rules,
you know what I mean? Like open getting the instead
of cheating. It's like, well, it's not technically cheating.

Speaker 3 (58:28):
We talk about this all the time where we have
to remind ourselves that cheating is a big deal. Like
when someone, you know, when like a you know woman friend, right,
he cheated, you have to be like, oh right, oh god,
kill him.

Speaker 1 (58:43):
That is awesome. I respect that so much.

Speaker 2 (58:45):
It's almost like condescending gay thing when someone's like I've
been cheated on to be like, well, have you guys
considered openings.

Speaker 3 (58:54):
The zone?

Speaker 1 (58:54):
Yeah, that's fing awesome.

Speaker 2 (58:57):
It's like just have a conversation about it.

Speaker 1 (58:58):
Yeah yeah, yeah, who cares? You's just got a nut off.
And then everything else is fine.

Speaker 2 (59:02):
I'm sure he doesn't care about that girl.

Speaker 1 (59:08):
Yeah, it's beautiful. That's a beautiful thing. You guys got
going on over there is confusing.

Speaker 2 (59:13):
It's confusing too because it is one of the things
that really does disconnect us from straight culture because like
it'll be like a topic of conversation when you're with
people like who's likely to cheat? Like yeah, yeah, oh,
who's like a morally bad person? And it's like like
I don't know how to hop into those conversations.

Speaker 1 (59:30):
Yeah, it's like the currentcy It's like there's so much
sex inflation in with gay guys. Yeah, where the currency
is crazy. Yeah, it's like everything calls. It's like when you,
like you go to Argentina or whatever, there was like
twenty thousand dollars for a loaf of bread. It's like
one dollar of cheating, and straight culture will ruin you.
But it's like a dollar of cheating, give a fuck.
You have to really, you have to cheat so much.

(59:52):
It is a gay guy print to fucking register point.
You have to be like one thousand guys like ignore
ignore a husband's calls for two years and then it's
like the equivalent of getting ahead and at a bar
one night for the straight couple and.

Speaker 3 (01:00:06):
That person's out with his girls and it's like, do
you guys think it's weird? But I haven't seen him
in two years and he just got married to a
different person in Nantucket and they're like sweedy, that is
not okay. And then he's like, you guys are lame,
Like it's fine.

Speaker 2 (01:00:25):
Sometimes when you're like trying to talk to someone about
a relationship, it does like and unfortunately it does have
to be like a gay guy because you're like, only
you will understand that this is what's normal and what's.

Speaker 1 (01:00:34):
Not right, right right, yeah yeah, because it gets.

Speaker 2 (01:00:36):
Like a queer friendly like therapist or something. They're like
so wait yeah yeah yeah, and you're like no, no, no.

Speaker 3 (01:00:42):
I was talking about this. We were talking about this
on the patron. But after I got married, I was like, okay,
you know how classic straight guy getting married is like
is attracted to other women. But he's like, no, dude,
like you got to make this work, like don't yeah, yeah, yeah,
you know, succumb to it. I was having the opposite
thing where I was like, you know, because it was
like such a lovely week and everything I was just
like I only cared about my husband, but I kept

(01:01:05):
being like, no, like you're gay, you have to Like
other times, like I was like I was like not
attracted to other people, and I was like, what the fuck,
Like you have to like fuck someone now.

Speaker 1 (01:01:20):
Yeah, that's tough, man. Everyone's culture is a prison anyway
you look at it.

Speaker 2 (01:01:25):
Now, It's true.

Speaker 1 (01:01:25):
You can't just be you can't just be a romantic
for you know, three months. I have thought about that
because I like, I've dated people in open relationships and
I'm like, when they get married, is there like a
two month period where I'm not allowed to fuck them?

Speaker 3 (01:01:38):
Well something?

Speaker 1 (01:01:38):
You know what I mean? Like should I not hit
her upt because because I see your ig set her
bachelor party, bachelorette. I mean, it does feel like there
should be a small window.

Speaker 3 (01:01:50):
I literally have just experienced this, and it's very funny
to see in real time. We're like, okay, nobody move. Yeah,
someone's last message you with like something explicit, but the
next one is like CONGRATU. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:02:06):
Is there an out of office gay married email where
it's like, well, for the next four months, I won't
be getting sucked off by any of you guys, Like
four months.

Speaker 3 (01:02:15):
Come on, I only have one line whatever in the Midwest.

Speaker 1 (01:02:18):
Yeah, that is that is beautiful.

Speaker 2 (01:02:24):
It's honestly my approach to like my thinking of sobriety.
Sometimes I'm like, you know, it'd be amazing to be
sober for like one month. Yeah, yeah, the whole year.
I'm like, damn it.

Speaker 1 (01:02:34):
It's purely like almost to prove to myself I can
do it. It's a kind of like a will power
challenge of because I've wanted to get sucked up so bad,
especially especially the more stressed out. I'm like, it's gotten
pretty like I'm like, it would be so nice to
just turn your brain off. That's what most of it
it is for me, is like just silence all worry

(01:02:55):
or whatever. But I've stuck to it. And then I
don't know. I mean, I'll probably who knows what happens
in that year. I'm hoping to not get as fucked up,
but I can't. I don't see myself ever being a
totally sober person. Like the thing that's gonna kill me
is not getting high at ship. The week between Christmas
and New Year's that fake week that doesn't exist.

Speaker 3 (01:03:17):
When I tell you, I was literally thinking about how
much I'm looking forward to that week. Yesterday I was
just like.

Speaker 1 (01:03:22):
It's the best time. And that's that's a fucking four
movies a day week, right there. Yeah, that's a fucking
Christmas break.

Speaker 3 (01:03:29):
So good, Literally the time I can be happy on.

Speaker 1 (01:03:32):
My eating leftovers, watching movies, ordering out some bad ship too.
When you're done. I love it. So many desserts, so
many different types of eye and cake. Damn awesome. And
I'm gonna be not high for that and I'm not
gonna eat that many desserts.

Speaker 2 (01:03:48):
Do you think a break that week?

Speaker 3 (01:03:49):
Sam, You're making such a mad I have to prove
it to myself, don't do it. Yeah, one week.

Speaker 1 (01:03:57):
I have to prove it to myself that I can't
love it, and then I'm back.

Speaker 3 (01:04:00):
I have I'm really impressed.

Speaker 1 (01:04:03):
Thank you, fellows.

Speaker 3 (01:04:03):
But here's a question. Yeah, and then we have to close.
Oh yeah, but here's the question coming. How has your
dating life been since you got sober?

Speaker 2 (01:04:12):
That's a great question and so interview. I love it.

Speaker 1 (01:04:16):
That's a good I to be honest with you. It's
like the easiest thing in the world is to go
for drinks or whatever. But I don't know my life's
been weird in general, where it's like I don't have
much of a social life, and so most of my
dates have been like, you know, come over, Like I
come over, I'll grill something because I'm trying to be
healthy too, so I'm not trying to eat out. I'm
not trying to drink out. So it's like, so sometimes

(01:04:39):
I meet somebody, if it's a complete stranger, you're not
just inviting them to your fucking home, but you'll just
you know, go get a drink whatever, see what's up.
Other times I have invited people directly into my home,
you know, like I guess I haven't been doing gig.
I have been kind of when you get like when
you get Internet famous, it is kind of like living
like a gay guy. Su A lot of like mentally

(01:05:01):
ill women on the Internet who also behave like gay
guys to just sort of come over be like hey,
send you nudes.

Speaker 3 (01:05:08):
And it's like the Internet makes gay guys out of
all of us.

Speaker 2 (01:05:11):
Yeah, that's really interesting.

Speaker 3 (01:05:13):
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:05:14):
So honestly, my dating life has been kind of like, uh,
it's been it's been very very like, uh, even even
people I've seen multiple times, it's like, hey, look, I have.
I haven't lived in one city between Baltimore and New York.
I've been on the road. I've been shooting a couple
of things in different cities. I'm about to go on tour,
so it's like everything is very in flux. So it's like,

(01:05:36):
you know, my dating life is just hey, if we
hit it off, come over, let's hang out. I'll grill
up some marinated flank steak and some shashido peppers one
of my got to one of my go to meals,
little veggie, little fucking proteins. Uh and and then you know,
I'll have I'll have. I want to be a good host,
so I have like wine or like cocktails or whatever
the fuck. But yeah, I honestly, it's been kind of nice.

(01:05:58):
I get to live like a gay Like I get
to see just a little fraction of how you guys live.

Speaker 2 (01:06:03):
You know, my whole questions do gay guys hit you up?

Speaker 1 (01:06:06):
Not as much anymore? Okay, before I would say before
I was famous, I'm not famous.

Speaker 2 (01:06:12):
But I remember when you were listened on, like by comedian.

Speaker 3 (01:06:14):
Yeah yeah, yeah yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:06:15):
I was like out did like a fucking listical on
my Instagram.

Speaker 3 (01:06:18):
Like and they were like.

Speaker 1 (01:06:21):
Or like before I had any kind of like anything
going on, and it was just about my body, like
not about my like you know, successes or anything. Yeah,
purely the gay community was hitting me up and like
you know, three three women. And now it's like it's
a little more you know, you know, I think just

(01:06:41):
the more people find out about you, the more they're
gonna come. And I've also talked about I guess yeah
a fucking women and not and people just assumed I
was gay. I guess before when I was just nude
on the internet. This is this is there's like ten
years ago though, right, like you were.

Speaker 2 (01:06:53):
Really like you know that the in Sexland City when
Samantha is representing that actor whose name I'm forgetting, yeah, Smithrett,
and she's like, first you get because he was like
why am I holding like gay vodka? And she was like, well, honey,
first you get the gays, then you get the girls.

Speaker 3 (01:07:07):
Yeah. Now you're literally like yeah, literally not into it
truly on TV.

Speaker 1 (01:07:13):
Yeah. Yeah, it's like if.

Speaker 2 (01:07:14):
You guys are obsessed with someone, it's like in ten years.

Speaker 1 (01:07:18):
That is kind of what happened because I was I
had not like that was before Cometown, that was before,
like any I was just a feature comedian ten years ago.

Speaker 3 (01:07:27):
You would post with Matteo full constantly.

Speaker 1 (01:07:31):
Yeah, and you know, I would have to say, for
the record, I did him first.

Speaker 3 (01:07:35):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (01:07:35):
I would just like to say I brought Mateyo into
the nude world. There's a big argument. He's one of
my best friends. I love him with a big argument.
Of course, he's so sexy as hell carved out of marble.
He's gonna take off. By the way, my account got
banned because I was naked on it, and his he
got like, you know, a million followers the next day.
Little body, little little fat phobia in Zuckerberg's uh you know,

(01:07:59):
in metas algorithm. That's you know, that society whatever. But yeah,
I would It's not like I don't understand why people
thought I was gay. I was. I was like naked
on the internet, and then I did that for a
year and I was like, my hottest gay friend, why
don't you fucking come over show those abs and you know,
flop that dick around in my living room. So yeah,
I think it's safe to assume I wasn't. I was

(01:08:21):
a gay guy also, but you know whatever, you know,
that's what happens, and I'm I'm happy, Like and if
anybody wants to beat off to me, no matter who
you are, feel free. You have my you have my
blanket permission to jack off to me.

Speaker 3 (01:08:34):
That's really empowering for a straight guy to call you
as a gay guy. For a straight guy a straight
friend to call you and be like, hey, want to
come to a nude photo shoot in my apartment? That
is like the plot of a porn Yeah. I don't
think the thinking about all the straight guys. It's like,
at this point I'm old enough to not like fantasize

(01:08:55):
about my straight friends. But it's like, what if suddenly
they as an adult, they were like, hey, come over
and let's get Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:09:00):
I don't fantasize to an extent, right, They're like inviting
the fantasy.

Speaker 1 (01:09:03):
Sure, sure, sure, yeah, I get that if I mean
just to flip it around. If like any woman was
like do you want to be even if I didn't
really want to fuck them, I'd be like, yeah, interesting,
you know, But I don't know. I think we have
a nice mean to have a good I don't think
I missed type. I think he likes more just he's
a chisel he's more of a chiseled on chiseled guys,

(01:09:24):
you know, so I think that was part of it.
And yeah, he's got too masculine for me too, you know. Yeah,
of course not not gonna work. So we were just
there was no real sexual chemistry there just just too
too bad. Perfect bodies. Just just respect for our perfect
bodies next to each other. So it was yeah, but
it was great. I missed those days, those early days

(01:09:45):
of just being a nude slut on the internet. No
one really knew I was a comedian even literally.

Speaker 3 (01:09:50):
Really.

Speaker 2 (01:09:53):
Pretty wild.

Speaker 1 (01:09:55):
I got the nude calendar, the twenty twenty five calendar coming.
I do the calendar every year, So there's out there Instagram.
Instagram will like take them down now, so I just
I just sell the calendar. So yeah, I am. I'll
send you guys a couple of lease. I love that.

Speaker 2 (01:10:08):
Yeah, that'd be awesome. I'll put in the bathroom, please,
I'll put it.

Speaker 3 (01:10:11):
In my man case. Yeah. Should we do our final teble?

Speaker 2 (01:10:16):
Yes? So our final segment is called shout outs in
the Grand straight tradition love, we give a radio shout
out to anything that we are enjoying. Imagine it's two
thousand and one. You're at TRL shouting out to your
squad back home, but about anything that you like, and
I have one. Okay, go what's up freakxlusions and perverts

(01:10:37):
around the globe. I want to give a huge shout
out to a good night's sleep. I have had a
sleepless weekend, and in a way that was crazy because
I started out really hungover and I said, damn, I'm
gonna get a good night's sleep tonight. Didn't slept for
about four hours. Then the next night I was like, okay,
I've never been so tired in my life. I'm not
to get a good night's sleep. Didn't another four hours.

Speaker 3 (01:10:55):
What is wrong? What is wrong?

Speaker 2 (01:10:57):
Yesterday? I thought I might die? And then I went
and I slept at my friend Nick and Claire's apartment,
and better believe, I felt so cozy that I slept
right until eight thirty in the morning. And it was
that type of sleep where you're like, oh, I'm like
dizzy now, like it like kind of hurt to wake up.
And I really feel that today I have a new
lease on life and I can't wait to see what

(01:11:18):
amazing business deals transpire with the rest of my afternoon
shout to.

Speaker 3 (01:11:22):
Good night's sleep. Whooo what's up crazy kids out there?
I want to give a shout out to Okay, I
was on a flight. First of all, I've been watching
the most amazing movies on flights. Recently, I watched the
film Thelma. Have you seen this?

Speaker 1 (01:11:36):
I was going to watch it, and then I didn't.
I watch RoboCop instead.

Speaker 3 (01:11:40):
Oh my god, I love I love it.

Speaker 1 (01:11:42):
Yeah, I was. I was in London and they were
showing it. I wanted to go see a movie in
theaters and they were showing Thelma. But then I saw like, oh,
they're also showing Robocomp in the theater. So I saw RoboCop,
but I want to show it.

Speaker 3 (01:11:53):
Where is he? By the way, what was his last movie?

Speaker 1 (01:11:55):
I don't know. Didn't you do something recently? You like?

Speaker 3 (01:11:57):
El Is so good? I haven't seen Oh my god, God,
I'll see it. Ell Is so okay, I'll watch it.
I'll watch o. Thelma was incredible. But last night, when
I was coming back from Chicago, I hit play on
Freaky Friday. It's flatter and I was like, I feel like,
at this point it's so cliche to be nostalgic for
like early odd stuff, and I was like, there's a
reason it hits this girl is a star.

Speaker 1 (01:12:20):
Yeah, well it hits because that was when you were young.

Speaker 3 (01:12:22):
Yeah, no, it's not I would have a movie where
I was like, yeah, we're movies ever this, or it's
like yeah, if I was like two years older, it
would be a different thing.

Speaker 1 (01:12:32):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:12:32):
Anyway, the point is I want to give a shout
out to Lindsay Lohan, one of our comedic great Absolutely.
You know, I'm not going to be ashamed to like
you because it's because oh it's mainstream now to reclaim
Lindsay Lohan. She is a great actress.

Speaker 1 (01:12:43):
She's an incredible musician.

Speaker 3 (01:12:46):
Dancer, dancer, hair legend. And you know, I'm just happy
she seems to be doing well. And you. Our childhoods
would not have been the same without you. Freaky Friday
is a great film. You know, I'm happy they're making
a terrible seq. Well, good for them, Like maybe they'll
make some money on Max dot Com. Yeah, so shout
out to Lindsay.

Speaker 1 (01:13:05):
Shout out to Lindsay. I mean, I know you want
to talk about where the ven diagram of stuff gay
guys like and stuff straight guys like Lindsay Lohan.

Speaker 2 (01:13:12):
Yeah, my she was my like high school like celebrity crush.

Speaker 1 (01:13:16):
I'm straight got yeah yeah again. I know. I remember
a couple of photo shoots that that very problematic in hindsight,
SNL just get but I was a fan at the time.
I must say I didn't mind it. I remember being like,
well this is just comedically, yeah, shout out. Just I'm

(01:13:39):
going to follow up on your Lindsay Lowhead shout out
for sure, and then I'm just gonna say, shout out
the interesting disdas. You know, the Coke zero Oreo limited
edition collab. I'm all over it. A and W zero
Sugar root Beer. Big fan of that. So that's been
a big sobriety thing. Is like whenever I want to
like smoke a joint or knock back a cold one,

(01:14:00):
I'm like, let's get a weird diet soda in the mix.
So I'm just that's really helping me out a lot.
I guess Halo top ice cream sort of methadone Ben
and Jerry's to me, I'm going a little over more
on both of those right now, but I'm gonna reel
it back in. Yeah, that's shout out to that man,
shout out to diet, the tastier diet foods than you know,

(01:14:21):
our four fat fathers ever got.

Speaker 3 (01:14:23):
To You're always putting one straight thing in one game thing,
you know, either bacon, shishiato peppers or like disgusting soda
in Halo.

Speaker 2 (01:14:33):
No, it's it's it's really interesting.

Speaker 3 (01:14:35):
Thank you.

Speaker 2 (01:14:36):
No, I love it. Always keep us guessing.

Speaker 3 (01:14:38):
Yeah, yeah, well Stov, this has been an episode to like.
But let's tell the folks at home once again, what
projects you have come?

Speaker 1 (01:14:46):
Yeah, let's start a cult in theaters. It's ten twenty five.
It's a very stupid cult. Like it's a ninety minute
dumb comedy. Right, It's like I just want to make
the stupidest movies of all time. It's it's just fun.
I really you it with Wes Haney, we Ben kit Nick.
We have a lot a lot of friends, maybe people

(01:15:07):
who have been on the show Hurricanes, Claracanees in its
in it. Yeah, we have some great past guests and yeah,
it's in I assume this is this podcast is in
only major cities, so that's where the movie is playing.
It's playing like perfect, It's playing in like seven major cities.
So please go see it, and yeah, look out for that.

(01:15:31):
Stobby's World is my podcast, and I'll be on tour
next year. I'm gonna announce the tour uh in a
couple of weeks soon. So if you if you liked
me and you want to come see me live, keep
an eye for that. But yeah, mainly the movie. I
hope people see it.

Speaker 3 (01:15:42):
Yeah, yeah, the movie.

Speaker 2 (01:15:44):
Well, thanks for doing the pod of course.

Speaker 1 (01:15:46):
And I've been waiting to you know, I've been gone.
We had so much fun on my podcast. Oh I
got to get it.

Speaker 3 (01:15:51):
I got it. We got to come back, come back,
come back? Please?

Speaker 2 (01:15:54):
Its fun.

Speaker 3 (01:15:55):
Yeah, well the dream Bye podcast and now want more more?
Subscribe to our Patreon for two extra episodes a month,
discord access and more by heading to patreon dot com.
Slash Stradio Lab.

Speaker 2 (01:16:09):
And for all our visual earners, free full length video
episodes are available on.

Speaker 1 (01:16:13):
Our YouTube now.

Speaker 3 (01:16:14):
Get back to Work.

Speaker 2 (01:16:15):
Stradio Lab is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money
Players Network and iHeart Podcasts.

Speaker 3 (01:16:19):
Created and hosted by George Severis and Sam Taggart.

Speaker 2 (01:16:22):
Executive produced by Will Ferrell, Han Soni and Olivia Aguilar.

Speaker 3 (01:16:26):
Co produced by by Wang, edited.

Speaker 2 (01:16:28):
And engineered by Adam Avalos.

Speaker 3 (01:16:29):
Artwork by Michael Failes and Matt Grove.

Speaker 2 (01:16:32):
Theme music by Ben Kling,

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