"Reptiles" w/ Vinny Thomas

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Who do who?

Speaker 2 (00:00):
This is George and I am here to say that
guess what. I Am taking my stand up show on
the road this summer, and I'm going on a little
tour in July and August, and my first show will
be in none other than Chicago on July twelfth. You
can find tickets in my Instagram bio at linktree dot
com slash George Severs. That is link l I Nktree,

(00:22):
t r ee dot com slash George Severs. And if
you live in Pittsburgh, Philly, Boston, DC, Seattle, Portland, or
San Francisco, all of those tickets will become available very soon,
so check back in at linktree dot com slash George
Severs in the coming days. But for now, if you
live in Chicago, please buy tickets to my show on
July twelfth. It's going to be at the Den Theater,

(00:43):
which is where we did our Stradio Lib show. I'm
so excited. It is my first time ever headlining in Chicago.
I can't wait, can't wait to see everyone, So please
please buy tickets and bring your friends all right, enjoy
the episode.

Speaker 3 (00:56):
Bye podcast starts now wow wow wow wow wow. Welcome

(01:19):
all to America's favorite podcast. I am here with my
co host George Savers, who's tapping in from New York
City's the weather like over there?

Speaker 2 (01:29):
I'll tell you it is a scorcher, folks. It is
a scorcher outside, folks. People are dropping left and right
because of the weather. Now.

Speaker 3 (01:38):
I love when you do accent work. I find it
so amazing.

Speaker 2 (01:40):
So good at it too.

Speaker 1 (01:42):
You know.

Speaker 2 (01:42):
I'll say this. Most people, let's say they have a
work event they have to go to. Potentially they're coming
from somewhere else the gym. Potentially they bring a nice
shirt to change into. I came into this recording I
had to wear a nice shirt for something else, and
I said, I can't look like a fucking nerd. So
I put a my little novelty Nicole Kidman T shirt

(02:03):
in my bag.

Speaker 3 (02:04):
So wow, Yeah, I was trying to figure out what
musical artist that was. It's actually the musical artist Nicole Kidman.
She was in the musical Moulin.

Speaker 2 (02:13):
Rouge and she is one of our great recording artists
in this country.

Speaker 3 (02:17):
Australia, Australia. So, George, you just bought your wedding suit
and how do you feel.

Speaker 2 (02:24):
I actually feel really good. Believe it or not. You know,
I don't know what do what you go with good?

Speaker 3 (02:31):
Obviously, my wedding is all going to be behind the
Patreon paywall, and that's the primary reason that I'm getting married,
so I don't want to give too much away. Of course,
of course I'm trying to even think if I want
to say this, I made a decision that is pretty groundbreaking.
What's that?

Speaker 2 (02:47):
I went ready for this? Double I repeat double breasted.

Speaker 3 (02:54):
Wow. I love that. I think that's cool. I celebrate you.

Speaker 1 (03:00):
You know.

Speaker 2 (03:00):
I was going into it and I was like, you
have to I have to actually something for people watching
at home that I have to say. A really harrowing
activity that you can do, that anyone can do really
in their own free time is google gay wedding suits
and like look through the Google images. It's actually crazy
the things people are coming up with. You start to think,
do straight people actually have better taste than gay people overall?

Speaker 3 (03:23):
I mean, they definitely know when to pull back. It's
a skill we don't have.

Speaker 2 (03:27):
You think you can scroll Obviously, I understand that many
of them are going to be, you know, bad, I
get it, But you think if you scroll hard enough
you'll find some inspiration. Literally, not a single one of
them is normal. I saw multiple. I sort of, God,
this is true. I saw multiple same sex, male identified
couples where one was wearing a tux and one was
wearing a white tux with a veil. No, I'm not getting.

Speaker 3 (03:53):
Wow, that hurts. That really hurts.

Speaker 2 (03:56):
Well, I go ahead.

Speaker 3 (03:58):
I mean I do have to ask, are you in
Matthew like co ordinating? Like are you matching?

Speaker 2 (04:02):
This big question? And I don't know how interesting this is,
but I was sort of like, I felt like double
breast it was a big statement. I was like, you
know you, maybe you can do double breast that I
will do single breasted. But then it's like, if he's
turning a look and I'm looking like I'm going to
the debate tournament, I can't really have that. What's it?
So we're both doing so we're both doing double breasted,

(04:24):
and I think we're both doing double breast. I think
will have different ties, different shoes to sort of not
be MATCHI matchie because I know how much you hate
matching a MATCHI everyone at home knows this. Sam to him,
the biggest trigger is when things are too matchy matchy.
He hates it more than you know, rising fascism threats
and democracy.

Speaker 3 (04:43):
Yeah, unfortunately you can't vote to stop No.

Speaker 2 (04:47):
If only you got this country would not be in
the place it is now.

Speaker 3 (04:51):
I just think, I mean, that's the biggest failing of
a gay wedding is like, inherently it's gonna be MATCHI, MATCHI.

Speaker 2 (04:57):
Not only is it inherently gonna be matche maccie. I
hate to say this, but it's just inherently it's gonna
look tacky in some way that you don't understand how
much I've been searching for a way to not have
it look tacky. But two men is tacky aesthetically, I think,
you know, politically, it's I think I'm pro marriage equality overall,
although I do have my reservations, but I think I

(05:19):
think esthetically you're just never and don't get me started
about two women.

Speaker 3 (05:24):
Well, I actually think two women is always kind of
chic because then it can be like, you know that
they can have a little more fun with like a
suit or address, and it is in a way that's
not like like a gay It's true, that's just like
a muscle gay man, like being like having a veil
and you're like, okay, but that this is this is
a joke to you, like take something seriously.

Speaker 2 (05:43):
You know what's crazy is like, let gay women can
actually literally be in a suit and address, which you
would think would invite accusations of heteronormativity. But no, they're
like even gayer for doing that. Yeah, it's really whereas
men can't win if or do. If they're being so traditional,
then they're like Pete Buddhage Edge and Chasten And if

(06:04):
they're being so crazy, then they're like insane. And on G.

Speaker 3 (06:11):
Yeah, for a second I thought Angie was a person.
I was like, who are insane? And on G I
was like wait, I was like some new like internet celebrity.
Just to have you heard the new on G track?
I know people are like ironically standing on G and.

Speaker 2 (06:28):
Featured on the new Charlie XX remix of Everything Is Romantic.

Speaker 3 (06:32):
Wow, I love Angi. Yeah, well that's be big.

Speaker 2 (06:37):
Do you think Angie will like hit it big at
some point or will she be sort of a perpetual
indie artist like Pitchfork artist.

Speaker 3 (06:44):
I think Angi is going to have a song like
in a car commercial and it's gonna like become a
huge hit and she's gonna regret it unfortunately, you think so. Yeah,
And I actually heard that Angie is working with Sam
Smith on their next album. Is so classic. It's so
classic because they just want to be huge, and it's
it's like they will be, but at what cost?

Speaker 2 (07:05):
Yeah. And the thing is, it's like you have to
first pay your dues as an indie artist before you
go the Sam Smith route.

Speaker 3 (07:10):
Yeah, but I don't know that's Anjie thinks they're too
big to fail, but they're in for a root awakening
when the charts, once the charts statistics come out. Yeah,
and gay guys will turn on on g just so
they turn on everybody else.

Speaker 2 (07:26):
You know what I think is happening. Currently, the James
Bond Estate is courting Angie to do the next Bond theme.
They're gonna write one, but it's like they've they've already
done so much because they're forced to produce so many
tiktoks and songs and everything by their management, so they're
running out of good ideas. They're gonna submit the Bond song,
it's gonna be a complete flop and then it's just
going to go to you know, Kim Petri's.

Speaker 3 (07:49):
Well, then I would have to stand.

Speaker 2 (07:52):
Yeah, I would love it if Kim Petris wrote a
Bond theme, or better yet, if the Bond theme was
just Coconuts by Kim Petris.

Speaker 3 (08:01):
That actually would be groundbreaking, so great.

Speaker 2 (08:03):
That's for the next Bond movie. It should be Coconuts
by Kim Petri's with a really dramatic opening credit sequence
where it's like Oca that's breaking and then blood coming
out or something.

Speaker 3 (08:12):
It's like, why don't they ever have fun with it?
Like for too long it's been so dramatic.

Speaker 2 (08:17):
That's actually that's a really good point. They should do
like Charlie, you know, Charlie doing a hyper pop Bond theme.

Speaker 3 (08:25):
Yeah, I think. I mean it's time to bring it
into the present day. Yeah, we've had enough, We've had
enough Adele doing the Bond theme.

Speaker 2 (08:32):
Yeah, I agree. And James Bond should be played by
Alexa Demi. Period.

Speaker 3 (08:40):
I've been I'm ironically saying period again.

Speaker 2 (08:43):
No, same, it's bad. It's actually can I say something,
you know, what's out what saying ultimately? Ooh? I think
that the ironic thing of being like ultimately we went
to an event or something. Yeah, as a caption a't
a yeah wow, And I actually think it points to
a broader cultural shift away from finality in all forms.

Speaker 3 (09:08):
Can I tell you something that I think is in
right now?

Speaker 2 (09:10):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (09:11):
String cheese?

Speaker 2 (09:12):
Oh yeah, no, I think so true that Actually I don't.

Speaker 3 (09:17):
I think string cheese is so in and and it
actually gave me a.

Speaker 2 (09:22):
Bit of a complex because I was saying more well.

Speaker 3 (09:26):
Because I was eating string cheese and I was like,
this is so in, and I was like, is it
in because i'm eating it currently?

Speaker 2 (09:32):
No? No, no, no, no, that's insane for you to have.

Speaker 1 (09:34):
I'm so sorry, I'm doing it right now. But okay,
I'm so sorry. I was at a bar with my
friend the other night and there were two guys just
they were tossing a stick of string cheese back and
forth in the middle of a bar. I hit my
friend in the face with the string cheese that was
absolutely wrapped, and then they offered it to her afterwards.

Speaker 2 (09:53):
That is that's really misogyny.

Speaker 3 (09:56):
Okay, different angles.

Speaker 2 (09:59):
You're hitting a with a piece of string trees and
then saying eat it.

Speaker 3 (10:02):
But then they gave it to her.

Speaker 1 (10:03):
She didn't want it, she didn't take it, Yes, but
they offered it, which I think is the kindness. But
the misogyny is the strike in the.

Speaker 2 (10:08):
First of course, the hitting of a woman with a
piece of string cheese a phallic object, if you will.

Speaker 1 (10:13):
Oh, I didn't consider the phallus.

Speaker 2 (10:16):
Well, I forgot to consider the fallus as well. I'm sorry,
but if anyone at home is not considering the fallus,
press pause right now and delt this from your feet,
because we do not want ultimately.

Speaker 3 (10:25):
I forgot to consider the vowel.

Speaker 2 (10:27):
Ultimately, that's exactly. That's the perfect use of the kind
of ultimately. That's out.

Speaker 1 (10:31):
Oh yeah, so good job.

Speaker 2 (10:36):
No, it's great. We need to bring us an example
of what not to do. Yeah, yeah, thank you. Okay,
well welcome Vinnie Thomas. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (10:43):
Are you mad? I shouldn't have jumped in. I want
to do the whole time.

Speaker 1 (10:46):
Even at the beginning when you were like there was
a picture of a guy with a veil, I was like, well, someone,
they have to know who the woman is. And I
was like, I think that makes sense, and I think
it's you know, I think I.

Speaker 2 (10:56):
Mean, what would you wear to your gay wedding?

Speaker 1 (11:01):
Oh my gosh, the suits can't be the same, right,
and they can't even be different in the same kind
of way, Like.

Speaker 2 (11:08):
This is the thing. It's yeah, I would do.

Speaker 1 (11:12):
Oh god, I don't know what would I do.

Speaker 2 (11:14):
I have no idea.

Speaker 3 (11:16):
I'm so sorry you had to go through this. I
actually think you are one of our nation's bravest gay
guys because I think, I mean the way that I
cannot match. I actually don't know. I don't know what
to wear, Like what could I ever wear? Because even
if you're both in suits, I'm like, well, you're matching.

Speaker 2 (11:35):
Well, of course, but then because you know, there's a
whole like maybe you do two different color suits. But
I'm sorry, like it also looks tacky like it it is,
and also one person is inevitably going to wear a
more formal color. You know, it's gonna be one person
in navy and one person in sort of like a maroon.

Speaker 1 (11:49):
Well no, I mean the first thing I thought of,
and I hesitated to say it, and I probably shouldn't.
I probably shouldn't say now, is that I was thinking
like primary colors, right, like one of you's in red,
one of you's in blue, and in the efficiency yellow.
But then earlier you said that that's tacky you said
most things are tacky, and now I'm holding everything up
against that standard. Is a tacky And the answer, of
course was.

Speaker 2 (12:09):
Yes, yeah.

Speaker 1 (12:09):
And then I thought, what if each man, each of
the gay men, painted the other's suit, you know, in
like a fun way. But then I thought again, like
a drag race challenge, like a yeah, like materials challenge
else to do it in a day. They could do
my favorite, my favorite trope in photography, which is when
someone who has been canceled in some way does a

(12:31):
photo shoot where they have like different words they've been
called written on their body.

Speaker 2 (12:35):
Yes, no hate, campaign core, no campaign corps. I think
maybe that could you know, the the bottom could have
just bottom.

Speaker 3 (12:46):
Yeah, no, that actually sounds really tasteful.

Speaker 1 (12:48):
Yeah, that's okay.

Speaker 2 (12:49):
That's how you do that write What it is is
like each one each it's you go literal. Rather than
trying to represent each person's personality via color or it,
you just write words that describe them.

Speaker 3 (13:03):
It would be a yeah, you know, would be a
fun tacky wedding. What is like I've always found it
so gross when people do like linen on the beach weddings,
and I think it would be so funny to lean
into that.

Speaker 1 (13:16):
To Lynn, I'm so sorry you both find this gross. Like,
of all materials in all plays, you find linen on
the beach gross.

Speaker 3 (13:22):
A wedding, I find it so like, like imagine like
wearing like a little lee too.

Speaker 2 (13:26):
I won't.

Speaker 1 (13:27):
I think maybe you just find Hawaii.

Speaker 3 (13:29):
No, no, no, you're not. You're not imagining it.

Speaker 2 (13:32):
Okay, gotcha.

Speaker 3 (13:33):
You're not imagining a man yeah, who was probably white, Yeah,
in his fifty Now, I've been to Margarita Belle.

Speaker 1 (13:40):
I'm just saying there's something I think pretty and like
relaxing about.

Speaker 2 (13:44):
I mean, once you're on a beach, do you think
you would want to be on a beach wearing like
a Brooks Brothers Navy suit, because that also doesn't it's
sort of discording.

Speaker 3 (13:52):
No, that's too dark.

Speaker 1 (13:53):
It would have to be a tan.

Speaker 2 (13:54):
Linen, Like what would you wear on the beach. Are
you just against beach against beach weddings on principle, because that's.

Speaker 3 (14:00):
I think I'm again speech weddings on printill, Yeah, which
I get.

Speaker 2 (14:03):
I forget that. It's like have some respect and do
it in an evangelical church.

Speaker 1 (14:10):
Yeah, if you want to get married on sand, fine,
But bring the sand into an evangelical church first.

Speaker 3 (14:15):
Okay, now that I would like that fun. I love
there is a bar in Williamsburg where it's like there's
sand on the floor, and I think that could.

Speaker 1 (14:23):
Actually be so ever, going to New York that's obscene,
that's disgusting.

Speaker 3 (14:28):
I mean, I am like, where do you guys get it?
How do you guys do ship in sand every week?

Speaker 1 (14:32):
I mean they'd have to refresh it because at some
point it's going to be like mostly cigarette butts. No, yeah,
I mean you're right, thank you, and thank you for
saying that.

Speaker 2 (14:41):
Wait, can we talk about Linen for one second? Yeah,
so what's the deal with Linen? Because it sort of
doesn't do what it's supposed to do.

Speaker 3 (14:50):
Come on, Jerry Zeinfeldt.

Speaker 1 (14:56):
Got his what's the deal?

Speaker 3 (14:59):
No, but I do have to agree what is the
deal with Linen?

Speaker 2 (15:01):
I am especially like Linen. She I'm just sort of like.

Speaker 3 (15:05):
Vin's the Linen's number one biggest fan in the studio today.

Speaker 1 (15:09):
Love Linen as someone who at least ostensibly appears to
be from the desert and like gets hot super easily.

Speaker 3 (15:16):
Don't and don't do that.

Speaker 2 (15:17):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (15:18):
I love breathable, like fabrics and linen's nice because it
feels like you're wearing nothing, like it's just like a breeze.

Speaker 2 (15:24):
See. I actually, to me, it's not. Maybe I'm just
doing I'm just dealing with like low quality linen and
I need to go more upscale. But I often will
be like sweating through a linen shirt.

Speaker 1 (15:35):
Yeah, I mean, and I would see a doctor. But
I think the biggest problem with linen. I think the
biggest problem is that it gets so wrinkly. Well that
was gonna be I need to talk about the ring. Yeah,
that sucks, and it's so hard to like deal with.

Speaker 2 (15:48):
It's like, okay, if you're like you know, George Clooney,
you can pull off wrinkly linen. But I don't know.
If I'm like going out into the you know, let's
say a bar with stand on the floor and I'm
wearing a wrinkly linen, It's not going to look good.

Speaker 1 (15:58):
Yeah, you're right.

Speaker 3 (15:59):
I think linen is like it's like great in fantasy
and never in practice.

Speaker 2 (16:03):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (16:04):
Like I love the idea, Like when it's like if
a poem talks about your linen shirt, I'm like, how beautiful.
But if I'm wearing a linen shirt. I'm like, I
kind of look like bad.

Speaker 1 (16:12):
Could you imagine like ancient Egyptians saying that as they
were wrapping mummies like thousands of years ago, Like it's
great in fantasy, but in practice, it's not keeping this
body as precious we want.

Speaker 3 (16:22):
It's not working, mother, they say that. Sorry. The way
that I'm now self conscious of literally whatever I would
say next is because I'm like, it's going to be
the dumbest sentence ever.

Speaker 2 (16:41):
Why are you? Are you intimated by Vinnie?

Speaker 3 (16:46):
I'm intimidated? Okay, okay, ready, yeah go.

Speaker 1 (16:52):
Also, like when people are like, uh huh, you have
to you're looking at me for approval, and.

Speaker 3 (17:00):
Were like, and then there's like fresh linens in the closet.

Speaker 2 (17:04):
But they're not made of linen. Is that your issue?

Speaker 3 (17:09):
That's literally my issue? Okay, well yeah, like two words
don't have meaning.

Speaker 1 (17:16):
I again, I think.

Speaker 2 (17:19):
You want people to say, there's per col in the closet.
There's per cols in the closet.

Speaker 1 (17:24):
Yeah, there's there's there's clean cottons. There's some new polyesters
in my closet. If you need to, We've refilled the jersey.
N Oh my god, there would be it would be
so unhinged to step out of a shower and wrap
yourself and like a jersey knit towel.

Speaker 3 (17:41):
How crazy would that be?

Speaker 2 (17:43):
It would be crazy, that would be nuts.

Speaker 3 (17:46):
Well, I'm glad I said that sentence. I actually think
it was really you got through that, Thank you.

Speaker 1 (17:50):
I didn't know if you were going to make it there, buddy, No,
that was really really scary.

Speaker 3 (17:56):
And I felt that too when I was just talking
about the cheese sticks that are trending.

Speaker 2 (18:00):
Now. Wait, okay, so in terms of cheese, string cheese trending.

Speaker 3 (18:04):
In terms of cheese, here's what Okay, can I have
a theory please? Okay?

Speaker 2 (18:10):
Yeah. I think it has to do with a tech backlash,
because for a while it was like snacks in tech opices,
we're sort of like artisanal chickpea based puffs, kombucha flavored
fruit by the foot, you know, all that stuff. And
so now because we are in a post Google, post
Facebook world, we are going back to special case cereal,

(18:35):
back to string cheese, back to the comforting snacks of
our youth. I think that's very true. We want our
snacks to be made only of microplastics, and we don't
want anything no nutritional facts even just.

Speaker 3 (18:48):
We're done pretending. We're done pretending that the healthy stuff
is healthy, so we're like, actually, just give me the
thing that's honest exactly.

Speaker 2 (18:54):
I mean, it's like it's like the return to you know,
burgers and Martini's like it's enough with the you know,
harvest bowl.

Speaker 1 (19:03):
And you know what, I agree with most of what
you're saying, but unfortunately I'm fixating on artisanal chickpea based
puffs as an insult for gay Greek people and I'm
just kind of like that. But no, I agree. I
think it's going to be that way for a lot
of things. Like sometimes they look at Ai and I think, sure,
they're going to be able to make a movie in

(19:23):
five seconds soon or whatever. But at the same time,
there's going to be a backlash to that, and people
are going to be like, I want real hand drawn
Disney style stuff again, and they're going to kind of
yearn for like some of that quality where they can
tell that someone made it, and I think that's gonna happen.

Speaker 2 (19:39):
I do think a Pixar backlash relatedly is coming to
where people are going to want hand drawn you know,
snow white potentially with you know a bunch of racist
drawings like the old Oh yeah yeah, bas.

Speaker 1 (19:53):
There was something.

Speaker 3 (19:54):
There's something so romantic about racist drawing.

Speaker 2 (19:56):
Yes, yes, people are gonna people write this down. Racist
drawings are gonna be trend.

Speaker 3 (20:01):
You're gonna say this racism really meant something to this artist.

Speaker 1 (20:08):
Okay, yeah yeah?

Speaker 3 (20:11):
And cheese sticks are that? And the string cheese is that?

Speaker 2 (20:14):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (20:14):
Hey is string cheese And I'm so sorry that we're
still string cheese always mozzarella, Like, is it mozzarella by necessity?
I don't think cheese.

Speaker 2 (20:23):
I do think, yeah, I certainly think in terms of
string cheese trending, it's gonna be the mozzarella cheese. It's trending.
I would not be surprised if there are artisanal flavors
on the market where you get like a pepper jack a.

Speaker 3 (20:36):
Oh my god, wait baby bell love baby bell.

Speaker 2 (20:39):
Oh yeah, well yeah, I mean yeah.

Speaker 1 (20:41):
When you take the little wax thing off the baby
bell and it's like it's like you're taking the red
dress off the shoulder of a very pale woman and
like it just like pops out. I think it's so
cunty to eat a baby bell.

Speaker 2 (20:55):
You know what?

Speaker 3 (20:55):
I have to be completely honest. I've never eaten a
baby bell.

Speaker 2 (20:59):
What the hell?

Speaker 3 (21:00):
And you know, can I tell you why?

Speaker 2 (21:01):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (21:02):
Because I was always like, is this butter or is
this cheese?

Speaker 2 (21:07):
There's something about him.

Speaker 3 (21:08):
I was like, this could There's like a ninety percent
chances could be butter. And so yeah, I'm not going
to bite into it to find out. It has to
be the right kind of dairy product before I put
it in. Some dairy products we're supposed to eat, some
dairy products supposed to put on bread. And I also
just the societal shame I would feel if I, you know,
took a bite of a ball of butter and people
would I would never live it down.

Speaker 2 (21:30):
Well, there's nothing more humiliating than like eating something incorrectly.
I distinctly remember the first time I was offered at
ammee and I bit into it.

Speaker 3 (21:39):
Can I tell you?

Speaker 2 (21:40):
Wait?

Speaker 1 (21:40):
Wait, we all have stories.

Speaker 2 (21:41):
We all have stories. Okay, you go first. Okay.

Speaker 3 (21:44):
I was eating dinner with our dear friend Patty Harrison
once and I got a shrimp thing and I was like,
like it looked all cooked or whatever, and I was like, oh,
so you just bite into it. I bit into it.
And she was like in the middle of speaking and
clearly the show was on, and I was just like
like really trying to like and I was like, I

(22:06):
think I wasn't supposed to do that. She's like, no,
you peel them, and I was like, fuck, I'm so
stupid and disgusting.

Speaker 1 (22:14):
I was at this Italian x restaurant with a few
of my friends and we ordered a steamed artichoke for
the table for an appetizer.

Speaker 2 (22:23):
Yeah, I know where this is going, and you know.

Speaker 3 (22:25):
Exactly where it's going.

Speaker 1 (22:27):
Look that is, and where the two of us are
scraping the leaves like normal, and we're stacking them on
the plate, and then my other friend he looks over
at our plates and he goes, look at you guys
stacking your little leaves. And we look over his plate
and there's nothing there. And we know he's eaten dozens
of them and there's nothing on his plate, and we're like,

(22:47):
where are your artichoke leaves? And he goes, I'm eating
them and he was eating the leaves whole and he
kept mentioning. He was like, yeah, I've never had this.
It's really tasty, but there's a lot of chewing and
He kept saying that, but we didn't like register that
he was eating them, And I can't imagine how that
must have ended up. It must have been like shrapnel
coming out of him.

Speaker 3 (23:06):
He was like super clean afterwards.

Speaker 1 (23:08):
Maybe he was like, yeah, so ready to bottom. There
is no more.

Speaker 3 (23:14):
Toxic class based gatekeeping than knowing which parts of the
food you're supposed to eat totally.

Speaker 2 (23:21):
It's like if you grew up in like a country
club environment, going to debutante balls only, then can you
eat at some restaurants in this country.

Speaker 3 (23:30):
Yeah that's true, that's absolutely true, But.

Speaker 1 (23:34):
What can I say? Most people aren't rich like us.
It's true, so true.

Speaker 3 (23:39):
Yeah, and you know what though, they just have to
pull themselves up from their bootstraps. Yeah, but then you
know the opposite is true, you know, sort of imagine
the Titanic and Kate Winslet goes down to the lower
decks and is maybe handed chicken wings and she's like,
how do you even eat this?

Speaker 1 (23:58):
Get a fork and a knife. You've seen those videos
of that guy and he's like, this is how the
Queen would eat a banana. He puts a bit in
front of him and he like bisects it. With the
knife and like peels it open, and it's the dumbest
thing I've seen in my life. And she does that
all the time. Thank God she's dead.

Speaker 2 (24:15):
Rest and Power. Do you remember when the Women's March
tweeted rest and Power Barbara Bush? No, it was a
really like iconic moment.

Speaker 3 (24:25):
Yeah, shout out to that moment.

Speaker 2 (24:28):
Yeah, that moment.

Speaker 1 (24:30):
I love asking the room if they remember something and
everyone says no, and you go, it was really I
got it. It was actually iconic, and that's probably why
you guys don't remember. You guys, it was super iiconic.

Speaker 3 (24:39):
That's tough to have to explain something is really complicated,
especially when you're trying to say it's important. Oh that hurts, sorry,
so you're judging me.

Speaker 2 (24:53):
It was.

Speaker 1 (24:53):
I think you're so funny to try to explain something
it's complicated. That's a good point. That's a poetic statement.
I mean it was poetic and it was beautiful, but
it also felt like a PSA before he was going
to tell me not to do drugs or something like church. Sure, sure, yeah, yeah.
I think I'm imagining more of a lore and a

(25:15):
context to what both of you are saying than what
actually exists.

Speaker 3 (25:19):
Oh, so you're you're doing a positive breed of us.

Speaker 2 (25:23):
Yeah, you're assuming we are deeper thinkers than we are,
or maybe exactly, or maybe we're such deep thinkers and
we think so highly of our listeners that we don't
have to go below the surface. We sort of like
understand that everyone has the groundwork to understand.

Speaker 1 (25:38):
Absolutely they get it. I think they get it, and
I'm so grateful to be here on the Mentslaw Podcast.

Speaker 2 (25:44):
Speaking of intellect. Should we do our first segment?

Speaker 3 (25:47):
I think we should.

Speaker 2 (25:53):
Our first segment is called straight Shooters.

Speaker 3 (25:54):
And in this segment, we gauge your familiarity with in
complicity and straight culture by asking you a series of
rapid fire questions. It's basically this thing or this other thing.
The only rule is you can't ask any follow up
questions or we'll scream at you and make you wish
you were never born. Okay, too late, too late, quaye, George,
will you kick us off?

Speaker 2 (26:15):
I would be honored, Vinnie, Yes, both steam Ahead or
Dave's Killer bread M?

Speaker 1 (26:23):
Which is straight? Oh?

Speaker 2 (26:25):
That that's a question question to me?

Speaker 1 (26:27):
Oh sorry, no, no, no, maybe I just need a clarification.

Speaker 2 (26:30):
Being deducted as we see.

Speaker 1 (26:32):
No, no, no, please don't deduct them. I need them
for my family. Okay, the first one is straight.

Speaker 2 (26:40):
Wow, please keep going.

Speaker 3 (26:42):
Okay, Vinny, it's not Dave's I hate Melissa Joan Hart
or little miss Joan of Arc.

Speaker 2 (26:50):
Jonah Arc. Okay, withholding evidence or missing the reference?

Speaker 3 (26:56):
Mmmm, missing the reference? Come through ballroom voice, dressing for
success or caressing your own.

Speaker 1 (27:09):
X oh, dressing for success.

Speaker 2 (27:13):
Okay, taking off for flag day or getting off a
fag who's gay?

Speaker 1 (27:20):
Oh, taking off for a flag day?

Speaker 3 (27:24):
Okay, jimmappel sam or Oh well damn oh well, damn.

Speaker 2 (27:32):
Wow, that was one of your best steps. That was
really good. All right, Vinnie Oh, there's more an autobiographical
novel that's derivative, an autocratic government that's punitive, or an
autoerotic asphyxiation that's indicative of a broader mental health struggle.
I don't accept that any of those things rhyme.

Speaker 1 (27:50):
And I will say a broader mental health that's indicative
of and uh yes, and autorotic and such as.

Speaker 3 (28:02):
Okay, Malibu Barbie or wanting to party, Oh.

Speaker 1 (28:06):
The same, they're the same. True. Wow, Okay, I will
say I completely I was somewhere else. For when Sam
was reading the rules and so ultimately I.

Speaker 2 (28:14):
Was just pairing, parting, I would say, you know, we
rank each guest performance on a scale of zero to
one thousand doves. Of course, the second you asked question,
it was tough, It was looking tough for you. There
was it bad. I actually think that the fact that
at the end you unexpectedly did a tie added a
sense of whimsy and a sense of drama that I

(28:37):
think both of us wanted to see from you.

Speaker 1 (28:39):
Thank God.

Speaker 2 (28:40):
Yeah, so George, what would you say his score is?
I would say it's in the low eight hundreds, like
eight twenty one.

Speaker 3 (28:47):
That's that's really good.

Speaker 2 (28:49):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (28:49):
Yeah, that's a lot of dead doves.

Speaker 1 (28:50):
That's still almost two hundred dead doves.

Speaker 2 (28:52):
Yeah, no, will be you will be hearing from Peta.
I yeah.

Speaker 3 (28:58):
You know you know how I like Borat a beloved
American character sort of they're still out He's still out
there making people feel uncomfortable, and you're.

Speaker 2 (29:11):
I love living he lives in character.

Speaker 3 (29:14):
I love talking about him like he's the Zodiac killer.

Speaker 4 (29:17):
Ye, Like he's still out in the look he's on
the loop. Yeah, he's out there. Bora's still out hurting
those one's out there and the police have never been
able to track her.

Speaker 1 (29:28):
You remember when he sent those letters to the cops, like
toying with them.

Speaker 2 (29:31):
The movies are just like when he's caught, Yeah, you'll.

Speaker 1 (29:35):
Never find your daughter wa wa And it's like in
cutout magazine letters.

Speaker 2 (29:40):
So you know, Borad's still out there at large.

Speaker 3 (29:43):
But I'm always impressed that you can find people that
that don't know who Borad is because he's such a
beloved character. Oh really, like he'll be like if he's
doing pranks on people, You're like, Wow, they found the
two hundred people that don't know my wife, Like that's
really I'm shocking. Wait, he's still he's not still doing
prank some people.

Speaker 2 (30:03):
He's still a borat too. He certainly was.

Speaker 3 (30:05):
And I hear there's a boor at three. Oh no,
I have heard.

Speaker 1 (30:10):
Where would he go? Literally?

Speaker 3 (30:11):
Where would he go?

Speaker 1 (30:12):
I would I would look at the demographics of people,
and if I was planning this fellas, I would look
at the demographics of places, and I would go places
where I know skew older, because I think they would
be less likely to know. So I would go to
like I don't know Boca. I would go to like
a retirement village in Boca, because I don't think they'd
know who bor It is.

Speaker 3 (30:31):
Terrorize the retirees.

Speaker 1 (30:32):
Oh yeah, I'd give him heart attacks. They'd have to
take a break from fucking each other and answer my
little Borat questions.

Speaker 3 (30:40):
Answer my Borat questions.

Speaker 1 (30:41):
Three. They're always fucking each other.

Speaker 2 (30:44):
Okay, I wonder Sasha Baron Cohne was in character as
Borat when he commented on Amy Schumer's Instagram that she
cares more deeply about social justice than anyone he knows.
Oh God, we can't get into it.

Speaker 3 (31:00):
Thank you for hissing. Someone had to hiss.

Speaker 2 (31:04):
Well, I was just gonna say that, Vinnie.

Speaker 3 (31:07):
It's a treat when someone's on the podcast and actually
does ask questions, because you know, most people who come
on the podcast maybe listened to it ahead of time,
maybe just to hear one episode perhaps, And so I
really find it nice when someone comes on completely blind.
I feel like that must put it. That must be
what it feels like when Borat goes to Boca.

Speaker 2 (31:26):
I feel like, Wow, you really landed the plan on
that one. Also, you guys are in a fight.

Speaker 3 (31:31):
No, we're going to fight. Well, we're not in a fight.
We're actually really good friends. Since the first two times
that Vinnie came on after midnight and we did not speak, Yeah,
which I was whose turn was it to speak? I
think we were both like trying to be polite.

Speaker 1 (31:50):
I think because I was the guest, the onus was
probably on me because I was walking into an environment
in which was yours. Just like when you visit someone's house,
you should say hi to the person whose house it is.

Speaker 2 (32:02):
But isn't it the person's job to be the host
and make you feel welcome.

Speaker 1 (32:06):
I'm trying to be magnanimous one of your definant qualities.

Speaker 3 (32:13):
Well, no, I was sort of like I was sort
of like, oh, is that like, am I assuming he
knows who I am? Because he doesn't know who I am?
Oh I do. So that was where I was sort
of like, we've never met and we don't have and
so I was like, well, I'm not going to be
like hey.

Speaker 2 (32:27):
I was like, would have gone up to him and
diva gone up someone said obviously you know who I am.
What's your name?

Speaker 1 (32:37):
Oh that's good.

Speaker 3 (32:38):
It would have been nice.

Speaker 2 (32:38):
Yeah, Yeah, that's usually what I do just to random people.
On the street. If I want to meet people and you.

Speaker 1 (32:43):
Put your hand out and you say, wow, it seems
like I'm already at a disadvantage.

Speaker 2 (32:47):
That's right. And I'm actually and I'm dressed in boat
and I'm in Boca and I'm doing I'm dressed in
full borat face.

Speaker 3 (32:54):
Wait, I have to I okay, when I didn't speak
to you, were you like, what's his problem?

Speaker 1 (32:59):
I think I saw you okay, you oh okay, Well,
I think because you were working with another person, like
you had cloistered somewhere else. They normally pair Sam with
a woman, and so Sam was somewhere else, usually in
a different room, working with someone. And then when Sam
was finished, he would he would go back to I
don't know where you guys have like an office or something.

Speaker 2 (33:21):
Totally. Yeah. The president of CBS is always like, put
him with a woman. They'll have a will and grace.

Speaker 1 (33:25):
Vibe them always do and you always do.

Speaker 3 (33:32):
Should we Well, I'm glad.

Speaker 2 (33:33):
I was what no, no, keep going well, I was,
I was gonna move us along, but I was I
was gonna say one thing that it was funny.

Speaker 3 (33:40):
I actually it was so funny because the second time
you came on, we like didn't speak again, and then
saw each other at bar one hour later, and in
a way that was like Okay, now we can be
normal towards each other.

Speaker 1 (33:52):
Yeah, it was very much like we we were almost
wanted to mind our p's and ques at work, like
we wanted to maintain professionalism.

Speaker 3 (33:58):
It was like it would be an HR violation of
two gigs I spoke to each other.

Speaker 1 (34:01):
Yeah, I'm more than an HR of violation. I think
it would cause some sort of singularity.

Speaker 2 (34:06):
I think there at some point there's gonna be a reckoning,
And I don't know how fairly or unfairly it's going
to be handled by the media, nor do I know
what my personal opinion on it is. At some point
there's going to be a reckoning about gay guys behavior
in semi professional environments. Yeah, because I think they what home,
might not know what is going on.

Speaker 1 (34:27):
They tiptoe up to the line, and I say, because
I've got one of them.

Speaker 2 (34:33):
Yeah, gay guys is sort of the France in the
Me Too movement that they try they're trying to make
it stick there and they're like no.

Speaker 1 (34:39):
They'll just walk up and then be like, boobs are
looking pretty professional today, Queen.

Speaker 3 (34:43):
What it is confusing though? Yeah, because it's like like
we need a different set of HR rules. No, it's true,
there needs to be a gay guy H regulation regulations
because it's sort of like like someone's like, well, you know,
you can't look at porn and I'm like, right, but

(35:04):
what about the sex app on my telephone? And what
if it's funny?

Speaker 2 (35:09):
Do you know what I mean? Sex app on my
phone where I'm getting notifications near constantly, Yeah, sitting next
to my boss.

Speaker 1 (35:15):
What if I'm at work but someone sends me a
video of a guy fucking in Alvira plant?

Speaker 2 (35:21):
Right, Well, what am I supposed to do?

Speaker 1 (35:22):
That?

Speaker 3 (35:22):
But what am I supposed to do? I'm just supposed
to not want to report it? Yeah? Who am I
gonna call about that?

Speaker 1 (35:28):
You know?

Speaker 3 (35:29):
Yeah, it's very complicated, much like many of the things
we brought up so far.

Speaker 1 (35:34):
Yeah, for example, cheese.

Speaker 2 (35:38):
It's definitely the string cheese of HR debacles.

Speaker 3 (35:42):
Well, we covered that.

Speaker 2 (35:43):
Should we get into our topic?

Speaker 3 (35:45):
I think we should. I think that's a really good idea. Vinny.
What topic did you bring for us today?

Speaker 1 (35:51):
Oh, there's gonna be a transition. What the topic I
brought was.

Speaker 3 (35:55):
What transition would you like?

Speaker 1 (35:59):
I don't know. You guys put like jungle sounds? Yeah,
Well do what I'm saying. Okay, okay, thank you. You
want jungle sound, it seems like you're not gonna do it. No, okay, gotcha.
My topic is jun jungle sounds. Reptiles wow?

Speaker 3 (36:15):
Wow?

Speaker 2 (36:15):
Yeah, and tell us a little bit in your own words,
not plagiarizing anyone else.

Speaker 3 (36:21):
Of course, I'm not using chat GPT. Using chat GPT.
Why you think reptiles are straight?

Speaker 1 (36:30):
I will say. When I walked in here, I wasn't convinced.
I wasn't convinced that reptiles are a straight topic. But
then Sam told me that it was, and I think
ultimately that's what moved the needle for me.

Speaker 3 (36:45):
He brought up the fact that, like.

Speaker 2 (36:46):
Okay, the ultimately count is two folks for anyone keeping
track at home.

Speaker 1 (36:51):
That's how I talk, sir. It's not a trend. It's
not I'm not I'm not one of your little kiddos
who's using that word in a way you don't like
I'm using it normally.

Speaker 3 (37:03):
I gotta say, I actually am loving the slight combativeness
of this episode.

Speaker 2 (37:06):
I do too. I actually, miss, I must to do
this all the time with our guests.

Speaker 1 (37:10):
And I don't stop. It's too nice.

Speaker 3 (37:13):
Well we have gotten too nice. But I do feel
an instant familiarity with you where I'm like, oh we
can agree, yeah, in a way that is fun.

Speaker 2 (37:19):
Can I tell you what I'm feeling. What I'm feeling, Vinny,
is like, feel such an instant connection with you, and
yet because we are so far away, because I can
only see you through a screen, there's almost this like
paradoxical feeling of then because of that feeling, as farther
and farther away from you, I would almost if I
didn't feel an instant connection with you, I could just
be like, Okay, this is a business call, be professional.

(37:41):
But because I feel because I feel both an intimate connection,
it's dialectical because I feel both an intimate connection, and.

Speaker 3 (37:47):
So you can say dialectical, but I can't say ultimately.

Speaker 2 (37:50):
Three times you know, I think I think dialectical is
then you ultimately, And I would encourage yes of dialectical
and others.

Speaker 3 (38:00):
If you want to seem up to date and current,
you better better start using dialectical if you want to
if you want to be seen if you want to
get fucked, you better start using dialectical.

Speaker 2 (38:09):
I actually would take a one step further. And here's
my suggestion. If you are the new word for verse
is dialectical. I love that you are verse. You are
Now you have to identify as dialectical.

Speaker 1 (38:22):
Wait, what is the version of that for like dichotomy
are dichometric, dichotomus.

Speaker 2 (38:27):
Dichotomis dichotomist? I think makes sense.

Speaker 1 (38:30):
Yeah, but it's not. It's not as sexy as dialectical.

Speaker 3 (38:33):
I was saying, I'm verse.

Speaker 1 (38:34):
It's like I'm dichotomous, you know what I mean, Like
it's the contracts that I'm attracted to. Sure, yeah, I
don't like that, you don't, Okay, that's fine.

Speaker 3 (38:41):
Yeah, No, dialectical is really good though.

Speaker 1 (38:44):
Okay slur, Sorry, what did you I'm always on the
cusp of saying that constantly.

Speaker 3 (38:51):
It has to stop reptiles.

Speaker 2 (38:54):
Uh.

Speaker 1 (38:54):
Sam pointed out that like reptiles when for a lot
of like little boys, dinosaurs are very big thing that's
centered upon and yeah, it's like I feel like the
boy version of Sometimes it feels like the boy version
of dolls and barbies. I was a dinosaur kid. I'm
also currently a dinosaur adult. I can name and describe
more dinosaurs than I think is comfortable for anyone in

(39:16):
this room. But I also think that because the bimbo
esthetic is so pervasive in the gay community and it
is okay Sam, sometimes we lean away from things that

(39:37):
might appear to be like the might we think might
bore or noy other gay guys. So I don't Typically
when I hang out with my gay friends, I don't
talk about lizards and snakes a lot. But when I
hang out with other groups of people, Yeah, the lizards
and snakes, conversation kind of just pours out all the time.

Speaker 2 (39:55):
So you code switch.

Speaker 3 (39:57):
No, I'm always me No, No I do.

Speaker 1 (40:00):
I could switch constantly.

Speaker 2 (40:02):
A specific form of code switching is simply that you
talk more about lizards great people than with gay people.
It's something I haven't seen represented in media.

Speaker 3 (40:11):
No I represented at all. Do you feel closeted when
you hang out with your gay friends because they you know,
they won't accept your reptilian side? Oh?

Speaker 1 (40:18):
In so many ways, And it's such as reptiles, it's
drug used too, It's a million things, like you don't
use drugs. Yeah, I feel like one of my friends
he really wants me to try doing Molly, something I've
never done, and I'm of the belief but whatever drug
I try, I always not that I've only done one drug.
I've only done Reefer.

Speaker 3 (40:38):
I've only done weed edivals.

Speaker 1 (40:42):
Because I just saw the musical Reefer Madness and that
just stuck in my head.

Speaker 2 (40:45):
Is now we need to bring back Reefer. Reefer is
the string cheese of the string cheese. It's dialectical. Yeah, period.

Speaker 1 (40:53):
Anyway, why am I talking about Molly now?

Speaker 2 (40:55):
Anyway?

Speaker 1 (40:56):
It wants me to do, but I'm like, I have
to do it at home alone first, so I see
what it's like.

Speaker 3 (41:00):
You know, the entire point interestingly, No, yeah, yeah, not
to be on your friend's side and be forcing you
to do drugs. But I do think he's right and
you should respect him.

Speaker 2 (41:10):
Can I actually think, Vinny, is there's something that you're
talking about that is so specific and I've never like
heard it express before. And let me know if this resonates.
I almost feel like nerd culture in straight communities to me,
is more relatable than nerd culture and gay communities. Yes,
I find just like the sort of baseline straight guys

(41:32):
liking Star Wars straight guys liking you know, on board
games whatever like. I find that more relatable and more
something I can access than like, let's say, the identity
of gay merg gay or like gay guys that are
like obsessed with comic books in a particular LGBT way.

Speaker 1 (41:56):
I think for some reason, it's just the nerds aesthetic,
especially when it comes to straight guys, has become cool,
like those are the I think that's the new cool guys,
you know, or at least for millennials, like Funko, Pop
King or whatever. But and now, thank god, we're drifting
away from that, and the backlash is coming. The backlashes coming.

Speaker 2 (42:17):
It's dialectical.

Speaker 3 (42:18):
So it's dialectical.

Speaker 1 (42:20):
But for gay guys, I don't think there's an established
kind of cool nerd culture. There's gamer, which feels to
me more like an identity like bear or twink, which
is strange to me. But I think part of that's
because it's it's still tied to your sexuality and it's
not necessarily like this fandom that you're in. And then

(42:41):
there is a big culture of I think among people
who I would qualify as tender queers, a little bit
of like love for anime and stuff like that.

Speaker 2 (42:52):
And also sort of action figures memorabilia, Like the more
gay guys than people think have an entire like shelf
that is dedicated to action figures in memorabilia.

Speaker 1 (43:03):
Yeah, and whereas I I have fossils, I have like
a little pile of fossils not working fireplace.

Speaker 2 (43:09):
I actually think there should be a movement towards that.
I would I would be much more interested in that
kind of gay coded nerdiness if it was fossil and
dinosaur based.

Speaker 3 (43:18):
Yeah. Well yeah, I think that's way more fun to be.
Like I'm an archaeologist.

Speaker 1 (43:24):
Alienologistlog, well, archaeologists could study fossils, but they would have
to be human fossils. Fuck, don't crime.

Speaker 2 (43:34):
Anyway.

Speaker 3 (43:35):
Like I was saying, the bimbo asthetic is really pervasive
in the gay community.

Speaker 2 (43:39):
Okay, wait, I have sorry to derail. When first started
talking about dinosaurs and I was like thinking, okay, how
are dinosaurs straight? I could think of two things. First
of all, you know, they're so old, and so it
has you know, it's like a traditionalist like toxic nostalgia.

Speaker 3 (43:57):
Like dinosaurs are from the fifties.

Speaker 2 (43:59):
Yeah, like man were men and dinosaurs were dinosaurs, you know,
you know, they're sort of madman. And then of course dinosaurs.
I understand that there are definitely like more girly and
more gay dinosaurs, but in general t Rex is like
very male coded. It's like, you know, I think its
tail around, it's.

Speaker 3 (44:18):
Like looking at like a garbage struck and being like cool, yes, exactly.

Speaker 2 (44:21):
And also the sheer I think a big part of
it is a sheer size, this obsussion with like do
you they were so giant and so big, like a
big skyscraper like Trump Tower.

Speaker 1 (44:32):
Well, I think it conjured like Trump Tower. I think
it conjures something the same thing that maybe like Civil
War and reenactments conjured, you know, where it's like kind
of a yearning for history and you have to kind
of really want to imagine the past. And maybe that's
part of it. Maybe gay people don't like to reflect
on the past.

Speaker 2 (44:50):
And they don't they like to be that's triented.

Speaker 3 (44:53):
Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 (44:55):
Yeah, And I think as scientists have learned more about dinosaurs,
they've become more gay. But I still don't think dinosaurs,
even in the dinosaur like animated documentaries and stuff, they
haven't had that big moment that like gay people on
Twitter latch onto and they go viral.

Speaker 3 (45:13):
For yeah, and not to bring it back to archaeology
versus pailiontology. Okay, yeah, I do think when when they find,
you know, some frozen woman from one million years ago,
they are all like that gay people really do cling
to like that is a diva.

Speaker 1 (45:29):
Whenever they find an ink and mummy, that's like and
it's absolutely right about it. Like the ink and mummies
their hair is like braided and preserved and they've just
like lived on top of a mountain frozen. And then
like every time I see a post, it's like a
million people going fascinating, fascinating, fascinating, and the one gig
guy going work, bitch.

Speaker 2 (45:47):
It's like it's one gig. I mean, like, do I leave?

Speaker 1 (45:54):
Why is her skin so good? Still?

Speaker 2 (45:56):
Oh my god?

Speaker 3 (45:57):
One million? She actually looks.

Speaker 2 (46:00):
Ca routine. Okay, I think, what Thenny, what you're saying
about the more sciences discover about them, the more gay
they seem is so important because it reminds me of how,
you know, people think that ancient Greek statues were all
white and marble, but in fact we're all painted crazy
colors and they you know, ancient Greeks sort of like

(46:20):
aesthetics are such a denote such a like traditional Western
masculine vibe, when in fact they were like super campy
and kind of John Waters esque. I think similarly Fort
Lauderdale sort of Apple TV plus is pomroy Ao comes
to mind. Yeah, yeah, so similarly with dinosaurs. You know,

(46:42):
you think they're these like crocodilian reptilian creatures, but in
fact they were covered in feathers. They sort of Also,
you know, it's funny that a t rex is such
a masculine symbol because it literally has gay arms.

Speaker 1 (46:57):
Yeah, I mean yeah, like there's and honestly, most therapods
when and you guys can't see this, so you'll just
have to listen and imagine. But they their hands were
held like this, like facing back turned down. A lot
of people think they're like this, but it's very much
like that, like you know, one of those limps, a
gay guy.

Speaker 2 (47:16):
At the end of the night walking home and barely
being able to like and clutching a pocket book. Yeah,
a pocket book I do have.

Speaker 3 (47:24):
I do cling to the t rex's masculinity sometimes, like
I I I even need to remember to believe that
the t rex is like a big bad monster, because
when like every couple of years still be like, actually,
no one knows this t rex is only eight rice
or something like, they love to be like, actually, like
it wasn't a hunter, it was a dancer, and you're

(47:46):
always like, oh yeah, and I'm like I'm just gonna
forget that piece of information.

Speaker 2 (47:50):
And like to hold with them, you have to hold
on to some national mythologies. Otherwise it's like the ground
will fall off from under us and will fall into
the pity.

Speaker 1 (47:58):
It would be terrifying.

Speaker 3 (47:59):
Yeah, exactly, I think.

Speaker 1 (48:01):
Yeah, it always helps to remember that therapod dinosaurs are
so closely related to birds. They basically say so like
every stupid thing you see a bird doing, and birds
are so dumb and gay. They're so funny to me.
It's like the females have dictated to so many of
the males that they must behave idiotically in order to
be attractive, and so you end up having like a

(48:24):
sage grouse where the male inflates two giant sacks on
his chest so he basically looks like he has huge tits,
and then he just like bounces them up and down
in the middle of the prairie, which is to me
so gay. And dinosaurs must have done that because they
were around so much longer before birds showed up.

Speaker 2 (48:43):
So you're you're you're a reptile guy. Yeah, you're a
dinosaur guy. You're also a bird guy.

Speaker 1 (48:48):
I would say, and controversial take. I think they're all reptiles.
Birds are birds are reptiles.

Speaker 2 (48:53):
Birds are your first birds are dinosaurs.

Speaker 1 (48:57):
Some people birds are reptiles are absolutely dinosaur Wait hold on,
let me break this down for you guys. I talk
about reptiles on every podcast. Jesus Christ, I need a
new interest. Birds are in the clad arcosauria, and the
arcosaurs are dinosaurs, crocodiles, birds, and pterosaurs.

Speaker 2 (49:16):
Just for our listeners, can you call it the house?

Speaker 1 (49:18):
Yeah, the house of arcosauria. Boots, They're in the house
of arcosauria. And so birds are more closely related to
crocodiles than crocodiles are to lizards and snakes. Birds are
more closely related to crocodiles than crocodiles to lizards and sneaks,
which is kind of a hard thing to imagine, but
it makes sense when you think about the fact that

(49:39):
Crocodiles are very old, evolved alongside dinosaurs, and so did birds.
Birds were alive with dinosaurs, and birds are dinosaurs. They're
the direct descendants of theropod dinosaurs, which means birds are
a very distinct group of reptiles. They're warm blooded reptiles,
but reptiles nonetheless, because archosaurs are reptiles. You can also

(50:00):
see it. They've got scales on their feet, feathers are
kind of converted scale. You look at their eyes, they've
got that weird little pin eye that looks a lot
like a monitor lizard's eye. And I can talk about
this forever.

Speaker 2 (50:11):
So here's a follow up question. Yeah, okay, we have birds,
we have traditional reptiles, by which I mean crocodiles and alligators.
Let's say, and then we have the lizards, lizards, and snakes.
Squad those three rank them, you know, straight from gata straight.

Speaker 3 (50:28):
Ring them gata straight.

Speaker 1 (50:29):
Okay, yeah, okay, I would say, and I'm ranking crocodiles,
birds and.

Speaker 2 (50:36):
Lizards and lizards essentially.

Speaker 1 (50:38):
Yeah, okay, I would say crocodiles are Crocodiles are the
least gay.

Speaker 2 (50:46):
I agree.

Speaker 1 (50:47):
I think they're really kind of salt of the earth. Traditionalists.
They don't change much.

Speaker 2 (50:52):
They chang Florida.

Speaker 1 (50:53):
Yeah, Florida for example, Florida for example, just during the
saund And then and then I would say and then
I would say lizards and snakes squamata because like we
were talking about before, snakes, skinny queens, skinny bitch only
eats once in a while.

Speaker 3 (51:12):
You know, they don't need the winter. They done a
lot of them don't winters. Yeah, yeah, I love this.

Speaker 1 (51:18):
Let's let's give as many listens as possible eating disorders.

Speaker 3 (51:22):
Snakes.

Speaker 2 (51:23):
The snakes are kind of the original queens of bulking
and cutting.

Speaker 1 (51:29):
Absolutely, yeah, yeah, and they always look amazing.

Speaker 2 (51:32):
It always looks snatched.

Speaker 1 (51:33):
And then there's also that the basilisk lizard, which runs
across the surface of the water, which I think is
if not gay, then certainly a sexual.

Speaker 3 (51:40):
Yes.

Speaker 1 (51:41):
And then and then I would say birds.

Speaker 2 (51:43):
I think birds are I think birds? You know, you
have to say birds, it's obvious, but you know, of course, feathers,
the colors, the flying, you know. Yeah, except for I mean,
I guess there are like eagles.

Speaker 1 (51:54):
Sure I would still I would still call eagles gay.

Speaker 2 (51:57):
Gayer than crocodiles.

Speaker 1 (51:58):
Do you think eagles are gay. There are some birds
that are straight. I think, like I think ducks are straight.
I think all ducks across the border straight birds.

Speaker 3 (52:07):
What bird are you? Okay, I think you were asking.

Speaker 1 (52:16):
Yeah, I would say if I was a bird, I
would be oh my god, probably a hummingbird. I just yeah,
they move around so quick, and they just take like
a little bite of every It's because when I go
to a buffet, I just want a little bit of everything.

Speaker 3 (52:34):
You know, a little bite of each. Yeah, well, I said,
I asked that amazing groundbreaking question because I was like, wait,
I'm a duck. I could see it. I'm completely a
duck in every way.

Speaker 1 (52:49):
Huh hell yeah, yeah, George.

Speaker 2 (52:53):
Like maybe a pelican?

Speaker 3 (52:55):
Interesting?

Speaker 1 (52:55):
Absolutely an owl?

Speaker 2 (52:57):
You're to me think I'm an owl?

Speaker 3 (52:58):
Yeah, I think you're so your owl coded.

Speaker 2 (53:01):
You know. Owls are interesting because they've been so appropriated
by like, you know, sort of pinterest aesthetics, even though
they are such a famously wise and mysterious animal and
kind of a weird looking animal.

Speaker 1 (53:17):
Like it's oh yeah, super weird, but they've.

Speaker 2 (53:19):
Become the symbol of like basic you know, like sort
of like the illustration and a wedding invite.

Speaker 1 (53:26):
I mean that's I think evolution is so crazy to me,
because how do we have a bird of prey that
is proportioned like a baby, you know what I mean,
Like it's got giant forward facing eyes and like a
giant head and it's just corny looking. But they're crazy
without feathers. If you ever get a chance to like
google owl without feathers illustration, I.

Speaker 3 (53:43):
Think that would be an HR violation naked owl googling
naked owls at work. So you're a snake owner, I am, yeah,
Oh I didn't even know. My question is what is
the response for romantic partners to find out your make owner.

Speaker 1 (54:00):
I think my strategy normally is to not bring it
up until the second date, until they know that I'm
so fun to be around. And then if I bring
it up at all, Like if I hook up with someone,
then they'll just come over and they'll see the terrarium,
and if she's not out, then I don't have to
worry about it. I'll say that's where I keep my succulence.
And then and then if she comes out later, I'm like, oh,

(54:21):
what the fuck.

Speaker 2 (54:23):
Is crazy?

Speaker 1 (54:25):
You're like, that's not supposed to be there. I think
most people are fine with it. I think you got
to kind of let people know up top, just because
I don't. I don't want to be look single man
in a spotlessly clean apartment with a snake that raises
some red flags.

Speaker 3 (54:42):
No, no, that's scary for sure.

Speaker 1 (54:44):
But I think the more you the more you learn
about them, the more you realize that it's actually just
a response to laziness to own a snake because they're
so easy to take care of. Of course it's crazy.

Speaker 3 (54:55):
Is there an emotional connection?

Speaker 1 (54:57):
No, absolutely not. You look at her and there's nothing
looking back. Yeah, with a snake and with my wife,
Oh my god, you're oh dead eyes on both of them.
Huh Yeah.

Speaker 3 (55:13):
So the appeal is like to have something cool to
look at.

Speaker 1 (55:16):
I think most of the appeal with people who keep
reptiles is first you have like a fixation, like it's
just they are animals you like to look at and
you're interested in. But also with the keeping of a terrarium,
like you like to put together a naturalistic looking it
almost looks like you could have picked it up off
the forest floor wherever the animal is from, and like
plopped it down on a little glass thing and hers

(55:37):
is pretty plain, but some people get really like artsy
with it, like some people create little mountains, especially fish keepers.
Fish keepers are very good at this. They'll like do
aquascapes with like little sea grasses and that I don't
have the patients for. I do have the patients for
an animal that barely eats.

Speaker 2 (55:54):
Yeah, there's real. I think binary between animals as companions
and animals as decore, and I think people have mixed
feelings about because animals as decore, I'm counting snakes, turtles, fish,
of course. Yeah. And then of course there are certain
ones that are like interrogating that binary. Rabbits, birds, birds, Well, yeah, yeah,

(56:21):
I get would you let out a bird?

Speaker 3 (56:22):
People do let out the.

Speaker 1 (56:23):
People do a lot of people flight Wait do you
follow the same people on Instagram who like flight train
their parrots?

Speaker 2 (56:28):
No?

Speaker 3 (56:28):
Okay, wait, there are.

Speaker 1 (56:29):
These people who like they've trained their parents to like
to fly back, so they're free flighted parents, and they'll
like bring them out to Griffith Park and they'll be
like yeah, and the parents will fly out and like
do big circles and then come back and land on
their arm, like that's beautiful. And then you see someone
else on Instagram. They have like a cockatoo and they're
smoking a cigarette and like the thing is pulling its

(56:50):
feathers out, and I'm like, anyone can have a bird.
I guess it truly, you know, yeah, you.

Speaker 2 (56:55):
Know a bird. When people have birds, I get scared.

Speaker 1 (56:59):
I get scared because a bird is like a two
year old kid. And then they get this weird. Birds
are so codependent, like if you leave them, they will
as They're like, I'm gonna hurt myself if you leave
a bird for five seconds. The bird is like and
I guess I'm just gonna die. I guess yeah, I
guess I kill myself because their their relationship they established
with their owners is so like pair based. Oh it's

(57:22):
not like a dog.

Speaker 2 (57:23):
Yeah, so so all right, So yeah, birds really are
in the middle of decor and companion.

Speaker 3 (57:30):
I would say, so yeah, yeah, animals as decor, huh.
I think to me, it's such an essential straight image
to be like going over to someone's house and there's
a terrarium with a snake in it, Like that is
like like to me, that raises so many fears where
I'm like, oh, I'm dealing with like a really specific

(57:51):
type of straight person.

Speaker 1 (57:52):
I think it does. It conjures an image of a
very specific straight guy who has like gauges and listens
to a certain kind of music and he has a snake.
But it's only because he wants to have a snake,
he like wants to say as a snake, yeah, and
not because like he's fascinated by snakes, just because it's
kind of badass to have a snake. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (58:11):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (58:12):
Like I had a cousin who had a scorpion growing up,
and he couldn't tell you the first fucking thing about
a scorpion. He couldn't tell you if it was an
a racknid or a.

Speaker 3 (58:18):
Dog, you know what I mean. But he had one.

Speaker 2 (58:19):
Should you have a scorpion?

Speaker 1 (58:21):
Yeah, you can have a scorpion. Scorpion's easy to take
care of. Well, he's here than a snake in some ways.
Get a scorpion. Treat yourself. You don't want a scorpion,
do it?

Speaker 3 (58:31):
You are kind of opening my eyes to the amount
of living things one can own.

Speaker 1 (58:35):
Yeah, look, I think it's it's it's al those higer
king I just have a small snake.

Speaker 2 (58:40):
It makes me feel almost like, uh, cowardly for only
having plants. It's like there's not even any danger there.
Like I need to start building out my indoor jungle
with some other with some other rainforest creek.

Speaker 3 (58:53):
Can you imagine if owning a snake became the new
instagirly thing, I mean, and it was like.

Speaker 1 (58:57):
Oh, there'd be so many dead snakes.

Speaker 3 (58:59):
Oh my god, it's like very likely to happen.

Speaker 2 (59:01):
Well, everyone, it's a girl being like, so I didn't
call my snake, and here's what happened.

Speaker 1 (59:07):
I feel like every week she would get a new
corn snake that looked almost exactly like the first, because
what you know, no one's going to notice if the
snake dies. I think it's a sad thing about reptiles,
and like the reptile pet trade is that so many
of them are stolen from the wild. There's that thing,
And then on the other thing, it's like I'm so
sorry for taking this hard pivot.

Speaker 2 (59:25):
No, this.

Speaker 1 (59:27):
As so many turtles and things die in the care
of people, and they're no like statistics kept on this
because no one really cares. But like any parent will
just run into a pet store and buy like a
baby turtle for their kid and it'll die, and like,
you know, a year or whatever, because no one really
knows how to take care of them. But when you do,
it's actually pretty easy. You just got to like know

(59:49):
to give them the right lighting and the right food
and stuff. But anyway, you guys should do it. Get them.

Speaker 2 (59:54):
So turtles care about lighting a lot. They need it.
Oh yeah, it's pretty gay to me.

Speaker 1 (01:00:01):
If a baby turtle doesn't have full spectrum UV lighting again,
dramatic doesn't have full spectrum UV lighting, it will grow
up deformed, like it'll get metabolic bone disease and it
look like a saddle and it'll be all like fucked up. Wow,
this is crazy that you know so much about all
this stuff. Yeah, like I said, I have to talk
about something else. This is like the second or third

(01:00:22):
podcast I've gone on, and it's actually so important.

Speaker 2 (01:00:25):
I think. I don't know Sam if you agree with this,
So I don't want to project on you. But sometimes
I am just like, do I even have hobbies? Like?
Do I have things I actually know about?

Speaker 3 (01:00:34):
It?

Speaker 2 (01:00:34):
No?

Speaker 3 (01:00:34):
When I hear about this, I'm like, oh, have I
ever been unique? In my entire and not only am
I not unique? But then it's like so wait, then
my instinct is to immediately distance myself and from and
other people that like have actual interests, like before when
I was like making fun of people for having action figures, like, well, at.

Speaker 2 (01:00:53):
Least they care about something.

Speaker 1 (01:00:55):
Yeah, you care about something. Wedding dress, wedding dresses. Wedding dress, Yeah,
wedding dresses.

Speaker 2 (01:01:01):
And I love the invites, appetizers yeah, geez No, I
am like what makes me unique.

Speaker 3 (01:01:07):
I love music and it's like no, And I love
movies and television.

Speaker 1 (01:01:13):
Yeah. I like how we're being all supportive all of
a sudden, And at the beginning of this we were like,
I love that we're mean. I love nasty.

Speaker 3 (01:01:20):
I liked being mean, but then it was like, you
can't be mean anymore because you were like being so sincere.

Speaker 1 (01:01:25):
Yeah, because of Woke, because.

Speaker 2 (01:01:27):
You can't be mean anymore. Because of Woke.

Speaker 1 (01:01:28):
You can't be mean anymore because of Woke.

Speaker 2 (01:01:31):
Litally, damn. It's interesting that I feel like I, in
my conception of reptiles is so basic and that I
thought we were going to spend the entire episode talking
about crocodiles and alligators.

Speaker 1 (01:01:43):
Mm no, why.

Speaker 2 (01:01:46):
Because to me Google It's like Google image reptile is crocodile.

Speaker 3 (01:01:49):
Oh, it's like an iguana.

Speaker 1 (01:01:51):
Yeah, I would say iguana might be mine too, and
iguana to me is the default lizard. Have y'all heard
those stories about there are so many green iguanas in
Greenawaters in Florida now and whenever there's a cold snap,
they fall out of the tree.

Speaker 2 (01:02:03):
Can I tell you about it? I used to be
when I was an editor at the Relaunch Chakra that
then was shut down. I edited this like long, long article,
sort of like an essay about someone who lived in
Florida during that time, and it was like about the
experience of just like walking around and having iguana's fall
from trees. It was honestly incredibly educational. Florida, Nat you

(01:02:24):
know what's crazy, Okay, Florida. I almost feel like it's
out to make fun of Florida, which I a good thing.
It was like people did it too much. It became lame.
It had its moment in the media, and you know,
it was sort of like the whole like joke about like, oh,
if you google Florida Man and read every article, it's
like Florida man cuts off his own leg and throat,
which is true.

Speaker 1 (01:02:43):
About every state by the way. Literally well it is. However,
in Colorado you do that and it's all killers.

Speaker 2 (01:02:50):
That's true, that's true. Yeah, but there is something there
is just simply some truth to it. Florida is an
especially weird state.

Speaker 1 (01:02:58):
It is.

Speaker 3 (01:02:59):
Have you guys seen that TikTok account of the guy
who like is like today, I'm hunting for my dinner
and he's like a gay guy who lives in Florida
and he like will literally be like he has like
a weird husband and he like cooks him iguana that
he like hunted from a tree. It's like really gross,
but I'm kind of addicted to him because it's like
you're like a psychopath and I celebrate.

Speaker 1 (01:03:20):
I don't know if these people are from Florida, but
you know that one gay guy who goes he goes
to like a chain restaurant. He's like for to drink
and for to yeah, and then his friend is not
as charismatic. Yeah, is that is your couple like that
as well? Because there's one guy who's like, oh, he's
kind of fun, and then his friend gets on and
I'm like, I actually can't understand what she's saying. You're

(01:03:41):
too nasal.

Speaker 3 (01:03:41):
Yeah, no, this one's more like you don't even see
the husband except when the husband comes home from work
and he just hands him like a plate of cooked iguana.

Speaker 1 (01:03:50):
You're not talking about Charles and Miss Netta, are you? No?

Speaker 3 (01:03:53):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (01:03:54):
Okay, white crowd, who's that?

Speaker 3 (01:03:59):
Charles and Miss Nedda?

Speaker 2 (01:04:01):
I can't.

Speaker 1 (01:04:01):
I can't even begin to describe them, I really can't.

Speaker 2 (01:04:03):
He's gonna look at up TikTok people.

Speaker 1 (01:04:06):
Yeah, I think TikTok Instagram.

Speaker 2 (01:04:08):
As long as I don't, Okay, as long as they're
social media people and we don't. We're not showing our
ass by not knowing historical figures.

Speaker 1 (01:04:15):
No, no, no, these are not historical.

Speaker 2 (01:04:16):
Are these founding fathers or yeah? Are they in the
sort of revolutionary war era? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (01:04:22):
Yield to civil rights icons? Yeah, Charles and Miss Nedda?

Speaker 3 (01:04:28):
No.

Speaker 1 (01:04:28):
Yeah. Florida's crazy. They've got a ton of like weird
invasive species. You know, there's the pythons and the nutrio
rats and chameleons. Florida is filled with chameleons because again,
the reptile trait is so irresponsible and crazy, Like a
bunch of people have released chameleons and now there is
a steady breeding population.

Speaker 2 (01:04:47):
So here's a question. Are chamelions gay or straight?

Speaker 3 (01:04:51):
Okay, oh wow quick, this is it's it's a really
it actually sort of is breaking my brain because it
could go either way.

Speaker 2 (01:04:58):
Like the fact that they blend into their environment.

Speaker 3 (01:05:02):
That's called being closet.

Speaker 2 (01:05:03):
It's exactly. It's very postive, but it's also very sort
of like kind of like waspy. Everyone fall in mind.
We all have to look the same.

Speaker 1 (01:05:12):
Yeah, you know the way.

Speaker 3 (01:05:16):
But they also aren't. Like they're like, I'm the color
of the tree, but everyone's like, that's not a tree.

Speaker 1 (01:05:21):
Like they're like, yeah, that's a community.

Speaker 2 (01:05:23):
Kind of a tragic story really, like you are doing
this incredibly impressive thing of blending in with your environment,
and yet you are not blended in with your environment.

Speaker 1 (01:05:31):
I am imagining Sam going out into the jungle finding
a chameleon and just screaming live out loud at the
top of it, like be brave.

Speaker 2 (01:05:39):
I think this is a Pixar movie. By the way,
it's like the Amelia and who decides not to blend in?

Speaker 3 (01:05:44):
Oh wait a minute, uh genius rango.

Speaker 2 (01:05:47):
Oh yeah, is that what that's about?

Speaker 3 (01:05:49):
Is that what that's about?

Speaker 2 (01:05:49):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (01:05:50):
It's about the West. He's a cowboys. Yeah, that's not
what we're talking about. Different and this is serious. This
is different and it's serious. This was different and serious
and it's our I p it's our original ip that
we have. I think energetically, chameleons often feel straight to me.
I think it's the way, no way, no, the way.
Now I'm thinking about the way they move and it's
absolutely like this thing.

Speaker 2 (01:06:09):
Yeah, exactly, like they're basically posing. It's like the yeah, yeah,
they're basically doing micro movements and posing like oh yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:06:16):
They always look like they're reaching for a glass of
wine and then like rethinking it, you know what I mean,
was like sure I shouldn't but I oh, I don't know,
like and they do that forever and then their little eyes,
their beaty little eyes.

Speaker 2 (01:06:30):
Driving swirl all over the place.

Speaker 1 (01:06:31):
Oh yeah, I would say, yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:06:33):
Even like the little tail, the way it's like.

Speaker 1 (01:06:35):
Booooo and what is it like? Sorry, could you tell
me what it's like? It's a bit like okay, gotcha,
I think yeah, I would say chameleons are definitely gay.
There are straight lizards.

Speaker 3 (01:06:45):
I also just like, do you remember seeing like a
science book as a child, yes, and being like I know.

Speaker 2 (01:06:49):
That I'm gay.

Speaker 3 (01:06:50):
I know there's something different about me. And I'm seeing
the science book and I'm like, you know, I'm scrolling
past the buffalo and I'm scrolling past the dinosaurs, and
then I see the chameleon and I'm like, now that
is something that I care about. Something, Yeah, the shape,
everything about it was just like, no, I need to know.

Speaker 1 (01:07:09):
More a real history about these animals than you have.

Speaker 3 (01:07:14):
To me.

Speaker 2 (01:07:14):
There. I completely agree. I completely agree with you, Sam.
There is something, there's something so like you're like, it
can do that? Does it? Like it's I was about
to say it's smilar to peacocks, but that's not because that's.

Speaker 3 (01:07:29):
Well, it's it's it's one of those animals. It's a
it's a it's a dolphin. Yes, it's these animals that
have like a certain.

Speaker 2 (01:07:36):
Symbolic yes, a certain genesis quai, certain like place and
culture that is larger than just their features. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:07:44):
I think you're right, And they almost get into a
sort of story book where you're like, there's still magic.

Speaker 1 (01:07:51):
What's interesting is that they never crossed the line into
it feeling like pastiche your hack, you know, like a
lion to me is so secure and pop culture. But
hack a line of hack versus like, I don't know,
something like in O copy, which is just now breaking
into the scene.

Speaker 2 (01:08:08):
What's that word?

Speaker 1 (01:08:09):
O copy? Okay, forget what I said. Oh copy is
actually not iconic, and I thought it was and that
was my bad. This accumulated.

Speaker 2 (01:08:16):
But I do like the the sort of drawing a
line between hack hack symbolism with animals and more profound Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:08:26):
You know what animal I've actually been addicted to recently?

Speaker 2 (01:08:29):
Which one possums?

Speaker 1 (01:08:31):
Oh, possums, I think are well that possums are good,
possums are served, possums are gay.

Speaker 2 (01:08:36):
Possums are So.

Speaker 3 (01:08:38):
There was a possum in my backyard the other day
and my dog picked it up in his mouth, and
I was like, well, this is so scary.

Speaker 1 (01:08:47):
Yeah for you, and not for the bossom at all.

Speaker 3 (01:08:49):
The bossum fine, But then he put the possum down
and it like, you know, played dead, and I was like, Okay,
this is incredibly funny. And then my boyfriend was walking
by it and it like got up for a second
to and then realize like what am I doing here?
And it then pretended to be dead again. And I
was like this, like lack of you know, tact.

Speaker 2 (01:09:08):
Yeah, they're doing way.

Speaker 1 (01:09:10):
It's the fantasy. It's the delusion, you know what I mean.
It's like if I believe I'm dead, the world will
believe I'm dead. And also the other gay thing about
them they only live in the wild max like two years.

Speaker 2 (01:09:20):
God, I love them.

Speaker 3 (01:09:21):
Yeah, they live fast, they live hard. Yeah, I'm here
for a good time, not for a long time.

Speaker 1 (01:09:26):
Yeah, Possum'm throwing it's prep in the trash for what. Wow?

Speaker 4 (01:09:41):
Wow?

Speaker 3 (01:09:41):
Well yea.

Speaker 2 (01:09:42):
If any any final thoughts on reptiles as straight or
as gay, you know, it's okay if we went through
a journey where we all collectively.

Speaker 1 (01:09:53):
Well, I think some are straight. I think like I
think tortoises are straight.

Speaker 3 (01:09:57):
I was gonna say gay, you're.

Speaker 1 (01:09:58):
Gonna say gay. I think turtles are gay.

Speaker 3 (01:10:00):
Oh there's a difference. I hate when there's a difference.

Speaker 2 (01:10:03):
No, what just happened now, honestly, is very you not knowing,
Like not knowing tortoise versus turtle is very not knowing.
You can't eat the art of choke. Yeah, well, the conversation, Sam,
you must have grown up in michiganoisle tortoise, whatever, just

(01:10:23):
different words for this yeah thing whatever.

Speaker 1 (01:10:25):
If he could fit my soup pot, period it up.
That's my version of Sam turtle tortoise. I don't give
a fuck If it fries up nice, I'm eating it.

Speaker 3 (01:10:37):
Damn.

Speaker 1 (01:10:39):
I guess that's my final thought. Yeah, tortoises are straight.
As your final thought, I think, yeah, most artoises are straight.

Speaker 2 (01:10:46):
I think that's true. And I do think turtles are gay,
and so I think that sort of is a nice
button to the conversation.

Speaker 3 (01:10:52):
Well, this has been a groundbreaking episode, and I think
it's time for our final segment shout outs, and in
the segment with Paymash, the grand straight tradition of the
radio shout out to anything that we are enjoying on Earth, people, places, things, ideas.

(01:11:13):
Pretend it's two thousand and one and you're at TRL
shouting out to your squad back home, George, do you
have one?

Speaker 2 (01:11:20):
Let me think.

Speaker 3 (01:11:23):
I think I have one that I don't think I've
talked about yet.

Speaker 2 (01:11:26):
Okay, you can go first.

Speaker 3 (01:11:28):
What's up everyone around the globe? That's right, freaks, losers,
and even the perverts. I want to give a shout
out to wine. Yeah, I'm giving a shout out to wine.
It's wine o'clock. I'll say, I have never really understood wine.
I was like, you're not beer, You're not liquor. What
is this thing? And it to me, I was always

(01:11:48):
like yuck, yuck. And recently I watched the film The
Kids Are all Right, and that movie made me understand, Oh,
I get it. Wine is like a thing you drink
when you want to feel like you're in the movie
The Kids Are all Right. So I have been consuming
wine to be like, Look, I'm like Julianne Moore and
I'm in a backyard in California having wine, and that

(01:12:09):
is the only fantasy in which I can drink wine.
And it's sort of clicking to me. And I still
don't get pleasure out of it, but I at least
get this thing of like I'm in The Kids Are
all Right, and that's where I want to live forever
and ever. Amen. Xoxo Sam.

Speaker 2 (01:12:24):
First of all, Sam, you have to watch Sideways and
then you'll really be like obsessed with like being in
a wine movie. Have you seen Sideways?

Speaker 1 (01:12:32):
No?

Speaker 2 (01:12:33):
Does it take place in California. It takes place in California.
Wine Country, and Paul Giamatti is, you know, sort of
like a obsessed with wine and he bonds with Virginia
Madison over their love of wine. And then Thomas Hayden
Church is sort of like the adult who doesn't get
it and is like not knowing what the tasting notes are,
not me. But then there's like, first of all, you're

(01:12:54):
gonna love it because obviously I know you're attracted to
Paul Giamatty and that's what I call you and big,
great great Sandra o performance. Oh, I'm telling you you
gotta watch Sideways. I think the kids are all right
as your entry into wine. And after Sideways you're gonna
be literally like pinky out oh, sipping on a glass

(01:13:15):
of shibbilee. Now I can't wait, wait, George, Yes, I have,
when I have, When I have, Okay, okay, uh, you
know I'm actually gonna take your to your shoutout as
inspiration into a drink's one myself. What's up drinkers all
over the world, people who are not sober and people

(01:13:36):
who go out and drink.

Speaker 3 (01:13:38):
I want to give a shout out to a drink
that I had brushed off as old fashioned as something
my dad drinks as something that I don't know. I
used to order when I was younger because I didn't
know what else to order and I had not had it.
I would say, over a decade, I have recently started
ordering gin and tonics again.

Speaker 2 (01:13:56):
Whoa, I am all in on gin and tonics. I
will never forget when Sam's dear boyfriend Nisha made homemade
tonic and made me a gin and tonic, and I said,
this is unlocking something within me that has been dormant
for years. And that was a journey of self discovery
that I would say I'm still going on. I would say,
go out there, get some artismal tonics. The one artisanal

(01:14:17):
thing we're allowed to have in this era of string
cheese is artisanal tonics. Some gin and tonic, put some
fresh squeeze lined in there, and I'm telling you it's
dare I say, better than tequila soda?

Speaker 3 (01:14:27):
WHOA, wait, that's so smart. I actually you were reminding
me of how much I love gin and tonics. When
there's artisanal tonic involved.

Speaker 2 (01:14:34):
Yeah, it does make it. It's sort of it is
like more flavorable than you think it's gonna be. I'm
so used to just like literally ordering the basins, you know,
especially when we're going to like not to name any
names with these sort of like divy gay bars where
you know the well alcohol is going to be chili
pretty much jolly, you sort of are like, all right,

(01:14:55):
just give me something that is not gonna hurt too much. Yeah,
but it's okay sometimes.

Speaker 1 (01:15:01):
I only recently learned that tonic was different than like
sparkling water.

Speaker 3 (01:15:04):
Yeah, they were the same times, jarringly different. I would say, yeah, yeah,
just wait till you have the artismal kind. Your head's
gonna spin.

Speaker 1 (01:15:11):
Okay, folks, time for my shout out ladies, the gentleman
and no one in between. Oh, I'd like to shout
out Paul Giamatti and John Adams, which is a limited
series on HBO. You've never heard of it, where he
plays John Adams, the second President of the United States.

(01:15:33):
No wait, it is the second President of the United States.
He's so good at playing an earnest founding father, better
than you'd expect. It's gripping, it's cold, they tar and
feather someone in the first episode. It's no big fat liar,
but it is something else, something better.

Speaker 3 (01:15:55):
Paul Jammatti and John Adams on HBO.

Speaker 2 (01:15:58):
You know where is this from? There's no way to know, No,
this is actor. It's funny. I can picture the you know,
cover of it so well because it's like, you know,
you go on max dot com and it's recommended it
would talk about something. It would never occur to me
to click on.

Speaker 1 (01:16:13):
Oh yeah, it didn't occur to me to click on
it until I did. Yeah, and it's great. Damn, all
of it's great. It's a great I would have never
cast him in a million years. If someone put a
gun to my head and they were like, cast pel
Giamati as John Adams, I would be like, absolutely not.

Speaker 2 (01:16:27):
Who would the trigger? Glenn Powell, Timothy Chalam, Timothy Chalamel.

Speaker 1 (01:16:33):
I don't know, if he wasn't so racist, probably John Voight.

Speaker 2 (01:16:36):
Oh I thought you were going to say, if he
wasn't so racist, probably Mel Gibson, because you know.

Speaker 1 (01:16:40):
There's oh yeah, that maybe too. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:16:42):
We can only names actors. Really, anyone else deserves an
opportunity to be honest with you. Wait, let me think
who would I cast?

Speaker 1 (01:16:50):
Oh, oh my gosh, the guy who was on Veep
who plays Ben. He was as like the big gulp.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know his name,
but yeah I don't, but that guy, that's a good one.

Speaker 2 (01:17:00):
Would cast Julia Luis Dreyfus.

Speaker 3 (01:17:02):
Ground breaking, well a woman bold, Yeah pretty much?

Speaker 2 (01:17:06):
Yeah. Is because of woke.

Speaker 3 (01:17:11):
Well well, Vinny, thank you for doing the pod. This
has been a real treat.

Speaker 1 (01:17:15):
Oh, thank you guys so much for having me. I'm
gonna dig back into these doritos.

Speaker 2 (01:17:18):
Hey, I'm saying this now on record. When I'm in
La next, we're gonna hang out.

Speaker 3 (01:17:23):
We're all going to a bar.

Speaker 2 (01:17:25):
We're all going we can just be ourselves ourselves, and
we're recording the whole thing for Patreon.

Speaker 3 (01:17:30):
Yeah, Live the Bacbar.

Speaker 1 (01:17:31):
I think that's fair.

Speaker 3 (01:17:32):
Yeah yeah, Okay, Bye.

Speaker 2 (01:17:35):
Bye podcast and now want more, Subscribe to our Patreon
for two extra episodes a month, discord access and more
by heading to patreon dot com. Slash Stradio lab.

Speaker 3 (01:17:47):
And for all our visual learners, free full length video
episodes are available on our YouTube.

Speaker 2 (01:17:51):
Now get back to work

Speaker 3 (01:18:00):
S

All Episodes

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

40s and Free Agents: NFL Draft Season

Dateline NBC

The Bobby Bones Show

.css-15opob5{left:0;position:absolute;top:0.8rem;} All Episodes

.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}"Reptiles" w/ Vinny Thomas

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

.css-r6mb8g{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:1;overflow:hidden;}40s and Free Agents: NFL Draft Season

Dateline NBC

The Bobby Bones Show

All Episodes

"Reptiles" w/ Vinny Thomas

40s and Free Agents: NFL Draft Season