"Rushing to Get Somewhere" w/ Ilana Glazer

Have you ever been in a hurry? Well maybe you should check in with that. Actually, we'll do it for you in this amazing episode with star of the new standup special "Human Magic," Ilana Glazer. We talk about what it means to grow up, how the 6th of every month feels a little scary, and we make shocking new declaration about therapy. So shutup, listen, and heal your inner child NOW.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Who Do Who. Special announcement alert, I repeat special announcement alert.
If you live in the city of San Francisco, California,
we are doing a big, jam packed Stradio Lab live
show on Friday, January seventeenth at Cobbs Comedy Club as
part of SF's Sketch Fest. We cannot wait to see you, guys.
Tickets are available in our Instagram bios and on linktree

(00:21):
dot com, slash Stradio Lab. That's l I n K
t r ee dot com, slash Stradio Lab. Tell your friends,
spread the word. This is one of the biggest shows
we've ever done. It's our first time doing Sketch Fest.
We cannot wait to see you. We can't wait to
be in San Francisco in January and escape the frigid
New York cold and also I guess the very warm

(00:43):
Los Angeles weather for Sam and we can't wait to
see you January seventeenth at Cobbs Comedy Club, part of
SF Sketch Fest. See you there and enjoy the show.

Speaker 2 (01:13):
Podcast starts now. What is up everyone around the globe?
And welcome to Tradia Lab, the first one of twenty
twenty five.

Speaker 1 (01:18):
Oh my god, that's right.

Speaker 2 (01:20):
Happy New Year, Happy New Year, George. Wow, god, I
love when we pretend no.

Speaker 1 (01:25):
It's so amazing. And I wonder what the world. I
wonder what the world looks like. And we have no
idea right now.

Speaker 3 (01:31):
We have no idea. We are in mid December, not
even early December.

Speaker 1 (01:35):
It's I'll say it's December sixth.

Speaker 3 (01:37):
You know it's December sixth.

Speaker 1 (01:38):
I want to shout out to our dear friend Charlie Barday,
WHI tweeted, it's always crazy when a date is the
sixth of something, because it's like, oh my god, that's
like January sixth.

Speaker 3 (01:47):
Damn.

Speaker 1 (01:47):
That's which I was sort of feeling today. I was
struck by the I was struck by the date. But
you know, you could be listening on literal January sixth.
Oh my god. I don't even know when this is
coming out, but that could be very well likely.

Speaker 2 (01:58):
I think it comes out January seventh, because Janiary sixth,
I believe it was a.

Speaker 1 (02:00):
Monday Wow, starting the week off.

Speaker 3 (02:04):
Right, starting the week off right. Remember, remember January sixth.

Speaker 2 (02:08):
One thing that was funny about January sixth was I
posted a comedy video that day.

Speaker 3 (02:13):
That's amazing about how.

Speaker 1 (02:15):
I've used starting the capitol.

Speaker 3 (02:17):
No, it was it was sort of off off theme.

Speaker 2 (02:20):
It was about how I wanted to know at the
exact point a lazy river could become lazy enough to
where it became a pool. And I thought this, you know,
this was something that I'd been rattling around in my
brain for quite a bit, and I said, great, here's
a perfect day to post this amazing video.

Speaker 1 (02:38):
And this was while the instruction was happening.

Speaker 2 (02:40):
This was maybe one hour before I got it, so
I will say, you know, it was actually getting some
good traction then quickly got buried. And it was pretty
funny to be checking checking the stats and being like,
how's my video doing?

Speaker 3 (02:54):
And then being like, wait, what's going on? I mean.

Speaker 1 (02:56):
One of the great sort of genres of like fun story,
I guess is the things people just did or just
produced or just like you know, worked on or whatever
right before a huge world changing event. It's like people
that like published nonfiction books right before Trump was elected

(03:18):
and they were like so misdiagnosing the moment. It's like
books that were like how progress is natural? Like, and
they were like, all right, this is it, y'all.

Speaker 2 (03:30):
Yeah, or I mean this is less similar but still
a funny thing, like when Mariah Carey's Glitter came out
on nine to eleven, nine eleven, of course.

Speaker 1 (03:38):
Yes, oh that's so that's that really is classic.

Speaker 3 (03:43):
It's so classic because she couldn't have known. Yeah, how
could she have known?

Speaker 1 (03:47):
I mean, of course, the various comedy shows both in
New York and LA. On election Night twenty sixteen, John
Early like popping out out of like popping on stage
during a Britney impression while they're calling results.

Speaker 2 (04:01):
Do you ever think, like whenever something like if I
like book a date for something, I'm like, I try
to like run through what could possibly go wrong on
that date. Like I'm like, I hope like a new
plague doesn't drop before then, or I hope, like I
really run through a couple of things, like the White
House doesn't burn that day, because because then who.

Speaker 3 (04:20):
Will come to my show?

Speaker 1 (04:21):
Yeah, it's good that we can focus on what really matters.

Speaker 3 (04:25):
Yeah, of course yourself of course.

Speaker 1 (04:27):
Speaking of what really matters, you know, I'll say it,
Hulu is getting into comedy specials.

Speaker 3 (04:33):
Yeah, and someone needs to speak.

Speaker 1 (04:34):
And someone needs to speak on it. And I actually
can't think of anyone better than our guest today. We
lever so much and we are both huge fans and
we are so excited everyon and her name is Alana
Glazer Hilana.

Speaker 4 (04:47):
Hello, George and Sam, thanks for having me.

Speaker 3 (04:50):
Hey, how's it going here?

Speaker 4 (04:53):
It's going well. I'm I'm happy to be talking to you.

Speaker 3 (04:56):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (04:57):
You know you did say before recording that you have
a packed fry day.

Speaker 3 (05:00):
How does that feel? Emotions going?

Speaker 4 (05:02):
It feels I'm I'm starting the release, you know, I'm
starting to get some relief and release and by ending
the day with you guys, at least ending it professionally,
which is what I consider this context.

Speaker 1 (05:16):
Yes, and we will be sending you a W two.

Speaker 5 (05:22):
And yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 4 (05:24):
This is all pretty lucky and lovely. So I'm I'm happy.
I'm contented. How are you guys today on December sixth,
not January sixth and summer.

Speaker 2 (05:36):
Yeah, yeah, it's so similar. I had a I'm okay,
I'm good. Actually, I had an interesting I've been in
LA for officially like one year.

Speaker 3 (05:46):
Oh weird.

Speaker 2 (05:48):
I was in New York before and it was a
big part of my identity for twelve years.

Speaker 4 (05:52):
Oh God, It's like it is my whole identity.

Speaker 1 (05:56):
Sam Moving the Sam Moving to LA is like the
undercurrent of the of this last year of the podcast.
It has, i would say, become officially a podcast that
is about the differences between New York and LA. It
has become a podcast about Sam's various thoughts on the
paramount a lot on you know, Sam's various real estate

(06:19):
journeys in Los Angeles, his new lesbian landlord, etcetera.

Speaker 2 (06:24):
And of course my medical journeys and Sam's medical journeys.

Speaker 3 (06:28):
She's cool. She's an interesting person.

Speaker 1 (06:30):
You know, said cruel cruel Anas like, wait, so she's
a lesbian? Is she cruel?

Speaker 4 (06:37):
I was. I was just hoping, hoping for like a
caricature of like you'd think she was cool. She's like
a gay lady, but she's like the hardest, toughest landlord.
You just came from New York, you know, but here
in LA it's actually harder than you think.

Speaker 2 (06:49):
Kind of yeah, I think she She more like gets
annoyed when we're like impersonal.

Speaker 3 (06:54):
She's like, you're not in New York anymore. You gotta
say hello, And.

Speaker 1 (06:57):
I'm like no, I don't like yeah, interesting, how friendliness
can be oppressive. This is something, this is one of
the great like you know, it's like that thing what
people are like, what is it like kind but nice,
or like kind but not nice, or nice but not kind,
or like how people in the Midwest are so so nice?
But then it all is coming from such a place

(07:19):
of passive aggression.

Speaker 4 (07:20):
Yes, yes, yeah, and also medical journey. Can I just
check on that? Are you okay?

Speaker 3 (07:26):
Actually? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (07:27):
This so this is an amazing day because part of
my day was it. This morning I went to my
urologists that I've been on a journey with over the
last year and everything is a okay.

Speaker 4 (07:37):
So happy to hear that.

Speaker 3 (07:39):
Yeah, So it's truly been like one year of all
this and.

Speaker 4 (07:41):
Now I'm I'm a held explorer, girly, I'm about OB's
euro Gundes urologists, and I'm happy to hear that you
and your you're you. I'm happy to hear that you
and your urologists have not a place of peace.

Speaker 3 (07:55):
Yeah, we're at a place of peace.

Speaker 2 (07:56):
And I do think I want to say, I'm actually
so happy to have a urologist as like as an accessoryne.

Speaker 1 (08:03):
Get if you don't have a urologist, get a urologist.

Speaker 2 (08:07):
When my urologist calls, I can't help it, scream my
urologist is calling.

Speaker 4 (08:11):
Yeah, it's like agent is calling.

Speaker 1 (08:13):
Yes, Genna Maroney saying your fecalist is poisoning your what
is it, facialist or whatever?

Speaker 3 (08:22):
Yeah. I feel so bad for people that don't have urologists.

Speaker 1 (08:25):
I mean, you're not living kabbalaists. Sorry, my fecalist is
poisoning my kabala ist. I mean, come on, who is
doing writing like that anymore?

Speaker 4 (08:35):
Very few, very few to none.

Speaker 1 (08:38):
I guess it hadn'ccurded to me.

Speaker 3 (08:39):
Sam.

Speaker 1 (08:40):
That another journey that we've had since we started this podcast.
In the beginning, I was having minor butt surgery, and
then we moved to you having sort of major surgery.

Speaker 3 (08:51):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (08:52):
So now it's the ball is back to me again,
and we'll see how it goes over here.

Speaker 3 (08:56):
I can't wait to see what you come up with.

Speaker 1 (08:58):
I'm excited for a new medical issue. I think it's coming.

Speaker 4 (09:01):
How old are you guys?

Speaker 1 (09:02):
Wow?

Speaker 3 (09:03):
Awesome question, Alana.

Speaker 5 (09:05):
I'm thirty seven. I'll offer mine first.

Speaker 1 (09:08):
I'm thirty five and I'm thirty three.

Speaker 4 (09:11):
I'm the baby, okay, little baby, so I'm like really
getting into my health journey and like doing all my
prophylactic medical appointments. Like I'm having like a weird little
heart thing, and so I got this like heart monitor
and I was like, oh my god, my heart monitor.
And then now I have like the follow up appointment
where I'm going to do the stress test and run

(09:33):
and stuff, and it's just like it's exciting.

Speaker 3 (09:36):
Yeah, no, that's awesome.

Speaker 1 (09:37):
Have you always been doctor forward?

Speaker 4 (09:40):
No? No, no, Actually this is.

Speaker 1 (09:42):
Not to immediately go gay versus straight, but this is
something I'm curious about. Like I think this could be
argued both ways, Like is it more gay or straight
to be to have hypochondriac tendencies and to not not
that I'm saying that's what you have obviously, but to
have to be like into preventative care in this like
obsessive way.

Speaker 3 (10:03):
I would say gay.

Speaker 1 (10:04):
I would think so too fully.

Speaker 4 (10:07):
Fully gay, I think because like straight guys like they're
like I don't know what I care for myself, and
like they'll.

Speaker 1 (10:12):
Armor off their socket and it'll be hanging off their
body and they'll just be like, anyway, I have to
go to the gym.

Speaker 2 (10:18):
Yeah, there's also like literal statistics of like, when straight
men get married, they live longer because their wires make
them go to the doctor.

Speaker 1 (10:25):
Well, this is a whole other issue of like the
the most dangerous period in a man's life is between
mommy and wife because they could die at any moment
because they have no one.

Speaker 4 (10:35):
Oh, it's true. And women who are married to men
live shorter because.

Speaker 1 (10:39):
Well, because we have much response psychologically, they're being poisoned.

Speaker 2 (10:44):
Damn no, I'm I'm Alana. I'm kind of similar right now.
I'm like I went to the dentist for the first
time in eight years.

Speaker 5 (10:50):
Oh my god.

Speaker 4 (10:52):
And the dentist now is like for also like cancer
screenings for your like throat and tongue and gums and
ship It's not just we're not talking teeth cleanings anymore,
but it's like about DNS.

Speaker 3 (11:01):
Wow, I had no idea.

Speaker 1 (11:03):
The dentist it's not just for your teeth anymore.

Speaker 4 (11:06):
Yeah, you want them looking down there, you know what
I mean, Like the up there down there is what
you want from.

Speaker 1 (11:11):
Your Do you go to one of those trendy dentists, Alanna,
That's oh.

Speaker 4 (11:15):
No, No, I go to like a like farty office
that my husband was like obsessed with this doctor, actually
the dentist, because she has such gentle hands, and she
really does. She's literally was a ballerina and then become
a dentist and like it's almost like her fingertips are
dancing along my gums.

Speaker 3 (11:32):
One of the most amazingiful stories.

Speaker 1 (11:33):
So here's the thing with dancers, Thank you, Sam. Dancers,
It's like either you have a tragic either it's black Swan,
or you channel all that discipline into becoming the best
dentist in Brooklyn. And it's actually it's you know what
else is like that being a child star? Either you
crash and burn or you become the most Yeah. I

(11:55):
you know, I won't name any names, but I worked
for a former child star this past year, the most professional,
the most like making eye contact with you, knows exactly
how to act. I was shocked. And then of course
the other side of it is a little more Graham.

Speaker 4 (12:09):
Yeah, yeah for sure.

Speaker 3 (12:11):
Yeah, yeah, it can go either way.

Speaker 2 (12:15):
I mean I do think the credit that it is
to have been a dancer, Like on any profession, if
someone's like and they were a dancer, I'm immediately I'm like,
I trust you with whatever to me.

Speaker 1 (12:25):
I trust that more than if someone is. I say
this with no disrespect to our veterans and our men
and men and women in uniform. But sometimes when people
brag about being a VET, I'm like, okay, you're you
know what you're doing here, show me do a pirouette
and then we'll talk.

Speaker 2 (12:42):
No, I obviously, I think it's one of the weird
I think it's honestly a generational difference when like, older
people love to be like.

Speaker 3 (12:49):
And and he was in the military.

Speaker 1 (12:51):
And younger are supposed to be like and she was
a dancer.

Speaker 4 (12:54):
Yeah that's right. She was a child star dancer, a.

Speaker 1 (12:56):
Child star dancer.

Speaker 3 (12:58):
So I really trust her with my root canal.

Speaker 4 (13:01):
Yeah, absolutely, yeah. And there's also like systemic shit on
like the military that you're like, which side of this
do you fall on?

Speaker 1 (13:07):
Where you're like exactly, you literally can ask any questions.

Speaker 4 (13:10):
Yeah right, Yeah, it's scary, But like dance, it's like,
you're fucking incredible. The only systemic shit with dance is
like if you were sort of you know, a Russian child.

Speaker 1 (13:22):
But it's not your fault.

Speaker 4 (13:23):
No, absolutely not. That's right.

Speaker 1 (13:24):
You haven't killed anyone. I mean, obviously, listen if someone
tells you they're a dancing coach, I'm gonna start asking questions.
I'm gonna start doing some booging. But if you were
a dancer, you are traumatized, and it's on you to
turn that trauma and to a dental practice.

Speaker 5 (13:38):
Yeah, that's right.

Speaker 2 (13:40):
I just want to say the dumbest thing. I was, like, God,
it must be like, it's so brave to like pivot
from being a dancer to being a dentist. As if
you don't, like, just not have a choice at all,
stop being a dancer at twenty years old.

Speaker 4 (13:52):
Well, that's right, that's right.

Speaker 2 (13:53):
They put you out to pasture. You have to figure
out something else.

Speaker 4 (13:56):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (13:58):
Should we jump into our first segments?

Speaker 3 (14:00):
Whoa's crazy?

Speaker 1 (14:02):
Am I being so rushed?

Speaker 2 (14:03):
I mean it's a little faster than normal, but I
think that could be great and free up sometime in
the future.

Speaker 1 (14:08):
Okay, stunning, so Alana. Our first segment is called straight Shooters,
and in this segment, we gauge your familiarity with in
complicity and straight culture by asking you a series of
completely nonsensical questions where you have to choose one thing
or another thing. Think of it like a roar shock test.

(14:29):
Don't think about it too hard. The one rule is
you cannot ask any follow up questions about how the
game works, or we will be so mad at you.

Speaker 4 (14:36):
I hate when people are mad at me.

Speaker 1 (14:37):
We will take back every nice thing. We're gonna send
you to the dentist and we're gonna tell her do
whatever you want to.

Speaker 2 (14:43):
This to this perdon and this is gonna be a
former military dentist, by the way.

Speaker 4 (14:47):
Honestly great because I need a screening and I need
to know if I have cancer. Okay, Okay, well then yikes,
sorry for answers, but okay.

Speaker 2 (14:55):
Sam go okay, Elana speratu on Christmas Day?

Speaker 3 (15:02):
Or oh you've got to try my delicious cake.

Speaker 4 (15:06):
Oh you've got to try my delicious cake.

Speaker 6 (15:09):
Everybody hurts, or everybody poops, everybody poops.

Speaker 3 (15:17):
Childlike wonder or warlike plunder.

Speaker 4 (15:20):
Oh, childlike wonder.

Speaker 1 (15:22):
Okay, a bouquet of roses or a ballet with poses.

Speaker 4 (15:30):
A bouquet roses?

Speaker 2 (15:31):
Oh, okay, being assassinated or getting ass as a form
of payment.

Speaker 4 (15:37):
Oh, getting ass as a form of payment.

Speaker 1 (15:40):
Ass as a form of payment is literally like a
Broad City episode. If I've ever heard yes, Yes, Okay, Alana,
she's a brick and I'm drowning slowly. Or I got
the ick when he suggested bowling.

Speaker 4 (15:56):
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly.

Speaker 2 (16:00):
If you care to find me, look to the western sky.
Or if you're feeling hungry, I'll cook up a shepherd's pie.

Speaker 4 (16:06):
Oh, if you're feeling hungry, I'll cook up a shepherd's pie.

Speaker 6 (16:10):
Wow, okay, broad City or apploud, this is witty. Who wow, Sam,
yours were so good today, No yours were to die
for you?

Speaker 3 (16:26):
Really?

Speaker 1 (16:27):
I was like he he sat down, took out the
notesap and said, today we're going to make history. Okay,
we have to rank Alana on a scale of zero
to one thousand doves. I have to say, I think
that was a really great performance.

Speaker 2 (16:43):
I thought that was a really amazing performance.

Speaker 1 (16:45):
It was giving generational talent. I think she immediately understood
what was being asked.

Speaker 3 (16:53):
There was a point of view, there was a perspective.

Speaker 1 (16:55):
I like that. Sometimes Alana went for the more obviously
funny choice, and sometimes it was like no, I'm gonna
pick a bouquet of roses. Yeah, I don't care that
you made a little joke with a ballet of poses.
This is about what I want.

Speaker 3 (17:09):
Yeah, Alana wasn't gonna get pushed around by two random
gay guys.

Speaker 1 (17:13):
Yeah, it's like, who are these random gay guys? And
why are they making rhymes that barely work? This is
my show. I'm going to promote my Hulu special and
I don't care about everybody hurts or everybody poops.

Speaker 2 (17:25):
So I'm gonna go ahead and say nine hundred and
twenty two doves.

Speaker 1 (17:28):
I agree.

Speaker 4 (17:30):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (17:32):
The only you know where there was room for improvement,
of course, is there was a there was you know,
there was so much confidence there that I was like,
where's the vulnerability?

Speaker 1 (17:41):
Yeah, where's the vulnerability?

Speaker 3 (17:44):
You know?

Speaker 1 (17:45):
Of course? And Alana, you know you're coming in with
a turtleneck business woman, business hours. The earrings are very courtroom.

Speaker 4 (17:55):
Oh my goodness. Wow, okay, okay, the pressure's on.

Speaker 1 (18:01):
Yeah, but it's a nine twenty two, which is actually
one of the highest scores we've had in a very
long time.

Speaker 3 (18:06):
Wow, Yeah we've had.

Speaker 4 (18:08):
Yeah, Okay, I didn't even quite know it was a performance,
you know what I mean. I thought it was more
like it was almost like it felt like a math. Yeah,
I mean, I was like, what I wasn't quadro I
was going to feel and then I feel like I
found a groove. I was enchanted by the options. Yeah,
and by the word smithiness.

Speaker 1 (18:28):
I think it's about finding the right balance between having
a rational, mathematical approach and then having a sense of
play about it.

Speaker 6 (18:35):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (18:35):
I think you actually, you really did a great job
at that.

Speaker 4 (18:38):
Oh thank you.

Speaker 1 (18:39):
You were kind of a former dancer who then gets
into hip hop dance. Wow, that was a spirit. You
can tell you're classically trained, but you're being a little
Julia styles and saved the last dance.

Speaker 3 (18:51):
You're doing nice.

Speaker 4 (18:55):
That resonates with me. Thank you.

Speaker 3 (18:57):
Yeah, huh, Well you get into the topic.

Speaker 1 (19:01):
Wait, I have a question speaking of say the last dance. Okay,
I have a question for you, Lana. If you could
resurrect any property, any media property, film or television property,
what would it be?

Speaker 4 (19:13):
You know what I've been thinking about. I wonder if
you guys know this. I've been thinking a lot about you.
Ever read Jeremy Jeremy Thatcher, Dragon Catcher?

Speaker 3 (19:21):
No?

Speaker 4 (19:21):
No, it was this like book as a child that
my brother Elliott read and then I read after him,
and it was like about this Boy's Imaginary Dragon, which
is now a band, right, Oh yeah, dragon, which is
a very like straight band or like like straight you know,
sort of like presenting or something or we all have

(19:42):
to pretend it's straight presenting, but it's like very gazing, yeah,
because we're like sitting in imagining dragons. But uh, this book,
I'm like, I'm actually been thinking about because it was
like it touched me at a point I was like
maybe seven or eight, and it's like the Imaginary Dragon.
It's almost like I kind of I remember it was
almost like his crutch or something, and then when he

(20:03):
doesn't need it anymore, like goes away, and I sobbed.
It was like kind of the first piece of art
that I wept at. So I've been thinking about that property.

Speaker 2 (20:16):
I think sometimes it's funny the books you read as
a kid, because they're obviously like not amazing, but when
they hit right, you're like fully transformed for.

Speaker 4 (20:25):
A changed changed.

Speaker 3 (20:28):
It's weird.

Speaker 1 (20:29):
Yeah, I would say, like sideways story, right, what is it?
Sideway stories from Wayside School? Like that was that Lewis
Sacars that literally formed my sense of humor. And then
I need to say it because I would say, I
might have even been too old reading these, but honestly,
Captain Underpants, I was like, in heaven, well.

Speaker 4 (20:49):
You're like a octo generation. You're like an eighth generation
younger than me. So I like missed kept under it was.

Speaker 1 (20:57):
I would say, I was like at the tippy at
the kind of end of that of me being able to.
But also it's complicated because this is a long story.
But you know, I moved to America when I was young,
and I was behind somewhere from Greece, and so I
was behind on my reading level. I distinctly remember my
first year in America, which was second grade. I would
watch Blues Clues and then everyone else would be like,

(21:19):
that's like we're all like that's lame, Like I would.
I would be like excited when I would see Blues
Clues merch like sold in the supermarket or whatever, and
then everyone else would be like, who is this loser
that is watching Blues Clues?

Speaker 4 (21:31):
I feel you though, Like I was like so depressed
as a teenager that I would watch one of the
Pooh and Blues Clues like to feel better. So I
was watching Blues Clues at the same time that you
were let's say in sixth grade, but like inappropriately, like
I didn't need to learn English. I was just super sad.

Speaker 2 (21:47):
Yeah, I also was doing more childish things than I
should have.

Speaker 3 (21:52):
Like I would play I played Yu gi oh cards
when I was like far too.

Speaker 2 (21:57):
Old, you know, not in a way that was like, oh,
I'm like a collector of things, and this is just
one of the many things. It was like I was
just like I like you yeoh, and I'm in fully
a junior in high school.

Speaker 4 (22:11):
Not to control the situation, I just am making a
connection that it's like children are rushed to grow up
in a way that's super sad, Like it's so sad
that we're we feel we feel embarrassed by being childlike
when you like are a child, your child at eighteen,
also like your brain stops growing finally at twenty five,
I'm like, you're a kiddager. You're like twenty four like

(22:33):
a kid, you know what I mean, Like you can't
really be responsible for yourself, like in this like volatile
world twenty five.

Speaker 3 (22:44):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (22:44):
The politics of growing up, specifically in America are so
fascinating because on the one hand, everyone's in a rush
to grow up when they're teenagers. And then on the
other hand, suddenly people are like in their thirties and
forties and being Disney adults and going to Marvel movies
and all this stuff. It's almost like if we just
allowed people to be children when they were children, they
would not basically live their entire adult life in a

(23:06):
sense in a state of nostalgia for their lost child.

Speaker 4 (23:11):
Totally.

Speaker 3 (23:12):
That's like one of the darkest things you've ever said, George.

Speaker 1 (23:14):
It's so true.

Speaker 3 (23:16):
It's really quite hurtful.

Speaker 1 (23:17):
You know, I just I come in with my four
and I and I can just diagnose American pathologies in
a way that few people can.

Speaker 4 (23:24):
Wait, Sam, do you feel personally attacked by that?

Speaker 2 (23:28):
No, because I I think where I feel maybe personally
attacked is like, but this is complicated.

Speaker 3 (23:36):
In our dynamic. George always is the grown up.

Speaker 2 (23:38):
George has always wanted to be forty five, even when
he was twenty five. Sure, and so I'm always like
trying to push him to be a child again in
like a but not a child. I'm just pushing him
to be twenty five, like he wants to grow up,
and I'm always.

Speaker 1 (23:54):
Want to be a college professor.

Speaker 2 (23:55):
Yeah, he's he already wants, like, you know, his college
age child to be like asking him for money, and
he's like, no, what's wrong with you? And I'm always like, George,
can we just go back? Like can we live in
a warehouse and like start a band and like yeah,
Like what's.

Speaker 1 (24:12):
Interesting about What's interesting about this dynamic though, is that
then actually Sam is, for example, more responsible with money,
more of a planner, and less of a procrastinator. Like
Sam actually has adult qualities that I lack. It's almost
like I fetishize adulthood, but I but I can.

Speaker 4 (24:30):
It's almost like he's caring for that child as a
grown up, you know what I mean, Like he's caring
for his inner child.

Speaker 3 (24:36):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (24:36):
The social analysis is jumping out.

Speaker 4 (24:39):
Yes, thank you, thank you.

Speaker 3 (24:42):
Do you do you try to grow up? Do you
want to do you try to grow up faster? You
try to stay young?

Speaker 4 (24:47):
For a No, Because I was like very I was
like a very elderly millennial, like very young. Me and
my best friends growing up were and we were like
so uncomfortable, and the boys were gay, and we were
all like when we just get to the city, everything
will be okay and we get out of here, like
we won't be you know, among it was very like

(25:09):
Jersey Shore energy. A lot of people on Jersey Shore
are actually from Long Island, like that's where we grew
up and with whom we grew up and but like, honestly,
like I also love Long Island, and I love the
Long Island spirit outside of conservative politics or whatever, the
big hearted, enthusiastic, you know, kind of tactless in a
way that I love spirit so and then also like

(25:32):
with comedy, like I just kind of knew that I
wanted to do this so young, and like planned and
schemed and went for it so young that I now
am like really have been like very focused on playfulness,
pleasure and joy because the work shit I know how
to do. I know how to work hard, plan shit, execute,

(25:54):
So I really love That's why I'm like kind of
valuing what your natural disposition is, sam As like actually
like the.

Speaker 5 (26:03):
No offense George, but the more advanced.

Speaker 4 (26:06):
Thing that I aspire to be, you know, because I'm like, damn,
that's a freedom, that's a comfort with yourself that's like
both a gift and a practice. Hope.

Speaker 1 (26:17):
Well, yeah, and also I think related to this is
what you're saying Alana. When you grow up wanting to
be some sort of like a writer of any story,
whether it's comedy or otherwise. If you focus on that,
then you actually don't have the experiences necessary to have
something to write about. So it's almost so you like

(26:37):
exactly exactly blow your load early because you're like, oh, look,
I can form a sentence, I can write a joke whatever.
And then you get to be twenty seven or something
and you realize, oh god, now I have to go
back and reverse engineer a life that I can then
write about because I've sort of run out of things yep.

Speaker 4 (26:55):
And it's like like it's a false's it's not true
that you've lost out on the opportunity to be playful
and new and continually become. But I've actually found that
mourning the loss of that time is the first step
in the first step toward actually being present now and
like just like being and living now. But it's like

(27:18):
hard to be like, damn, I really missed out.

Speaker 1 (27:24):
Well, speaking of missing out, I would love to know
what your straight topic is today and what you think
is straight about it.

Speaker 4 (27:33):
So my straight topic I really I'm going to admit here,
like speaking of child star energy child dancer like recruited
Russian child dancer energy and the performance that I wasn't
positive was a performance until it was affirmed after of
the worship test earlier. I really was desperate to tickle

(27:56):
you both with this topic, and I hope I've achieved
to that with a straight topic of rushing perfect. I
was asked rushing like a sorority. No, I'm talking about
people in a hurry to get somewhere.

Speaker 1 (28:10):
Yeah, you're talking woman holding tote bag, coffee, change, sneakers
because she's wearing heels and needs to change. She is
holding six things and she needs to get to the opening.

Speaker 4 (28:23):
You know, she could be holding all those things but
not rushing and it would be chill.

Speaker 1 (28:28):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (28:29):
But if she's rushing and she's prioritizing her plans above others,
it's very straight.

Speaker 1 (28:37):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (28:37):
Uh is that good?

Speaker 3 (28:39):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (28:39):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (28:40):
Okay, great, okay and goodbye.

Speaker 3 (28:42):
No.

Speaker 4 (28:42):
No, well, I thought you were like, tell me what
you think is right about it, but I'm like, we'll
discuss it or.

Speaker 1 (28:46):
Yeah, now we discussed Okay, Sam, what is your relationship
with rushing?

Speaker 2 (28:50):
Well, this is I'm so glad you asked George. I
am a huge rusher, and in a way I think
it is straight because it is like it's by the books.

Speaker 3 (29:01):
You're like, I need to be on time.

Speaker 2 (29:02):
I need to do what's right, Like I believe in
the Lord Jesus Christ, and I'm on time time business meeting.

Speaker 5 (29:08):
Right right right.

Speaker 4 (29:10):
There's a scripted nature to it.

Speaker 2 (29:11):
Yeah, it's like my parents are inherently good people, and
this is like there's something unquestioning about it where you're like, no,
being on time is most important thing, but I do
do it a lot, And especially in New York, where
I've talked about this, it's more glamorous to be rushing.
Like I really enjoyed the you know, eating a piece
of pizza while running down the street to like get

(29:33):
to the show on time.

Speaker 4 (29:35):
Like you know, in La, you're like farting in your
car is what rushing looks like. Like just stinking up
your car and hating yourself is rushing in La.

Speaker 2 (29:47):
Social in LA sucks, you are just like you're just
like honking. You're just like stuck in honking and just
being like listening to a podcast angrily, Like it's like
this sucks and you have no there's not even like
oh I can run at least, like there's no run,
you just need be causing you know, million dollars in
damages if you decided to run in your car.

Speaker 3 (30:08):
It's interesting, Marie.

Speaker 1 (30:09):
Marie Foston's topic was being on time, and I think
that has like its own that has its own quality
of being straight. But I think rushing.

Speaker 4 (30:18):
Is that's so funny.

Speaker 1 (30:21):
Yeah, exactly. I think rushing is related but different in
that it is a larger ethos, like you don't have
to be running late to be rushing. It's about you
how you choose to live your life. And it almost
like is about a fear of a fear of stasis,
like it's like you have to constantly be on there somewhere,
you have to constantly be going to the other thing,

(30:42):
and ultimately a fear of death because it's like, oh, yeah,
you are running from something. You think you're running towards something,
and you're actually running from something.

Speaker 4 (30:50):
And there is like a like a deep seated homo
erotic nature about it where it's like if I sit
for a moment and have a gay thought totally, I
don't know I'll do with it. And if I die, conversely,
die without you know, having sex, you know, what I mean,
having queer sex. I'm going to like need to elevate

(31:11):
in the next life because I didn't do the thing
that I wanted to do this time. And also Marie's thing,
Like Marie's thing is like about She's like, if you're
reading this, I'm probably forty five minutes late. It's like
this value system that we place on being on time,
whereas rushing is like, yeah, it's this like mode, I guess.
And the thing that got me to rushing was thinking
about waiting around and at first, like I kind of

(31:33):
confused the assignment where I was like, waiting around is
like really queer because you're like kind of like horny,
like checking out like anybody, you know what I mean,
and like seeing what comes to you and being comfortable
with it. And rushing is straight in that way tunnel
vision on the script as you're saying it, sam By
the book, this scripted nature of like, well, I check
off all the things that make me a good stripe.

Speaker 1 (31:55):
Guy or whatever. And it's like a lack of deep
contemplation and thought because it's about action rather than internal work,
like you are, you're getting from point A to point
B if you pass on the way from point A
to point B a human rights violation. You won't notice it,
you know what I mean? It is your only goal

(32:16):
is getting to point B.

Speaker 3 (32:17):
You are And yeah, George, what's your relationship with rushing?

Speaker 1 (32:24):
I think, well, I have this sort of classic ADHD
thing of it's either now or not now. This is
the thing that they say about ADHD where it's like,
this is why people procrastinate, this is why people realize
on the day of the deadline that they haven't started.
So I would say what my sort of ethosays is like,

(32:46):
up until the last minute, I'm actually pretty calm, and
then there's this like insane period of let's say rushing,
let's say anxiety. But it's not a larger ethos that
I live my life with. It's like the exception where
it's like, oh God, here we go, like once again,
I have to in the next three hours do five

(33:06):
weeks of work.

Speaker 3 (33:09):
I love how you work. I do feel so.

Speaker 1 (33:12):
In that sense, I'm sort of by.

Speaker 3 (33:16):
Yeah, no, that's cool.

Speaker 2 (33:18):
I think I I'm this is a okay, maybe I'm
becoming more and more therapy pilled again, George.

Speaker 5 (33:25):
Yeah, and therapy pilled.

Speaker 2 (33:27):
Therapy pilled as in believing in it and just sort
of liking that.

Speaker 4 (33:31):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (33:31):
So, actually, can I just very quickly say so, Sam
and I have been semi ironically pushing back against the
ubiquity of therapy, and I actually think and Sam, let
me know if you agree. I'm like, twenty twenty five,
we are all back in on therapypy year, I'm getting
a new therapist. It is it is no longer. Therapy

(33:55):
is no longer like, oh, this thing that is sort
of lame to talk about because it's such a cliche
to be like everyone should be in therapy. You are
going back to actually, yeah, everyone should be in therapy.

Speaker 2 (34:05):
Yep, yeah, because I think it was it felt kind
of fun to be like reckless with my feelings and
be like I wonder where this will end up, Like
I'm curious, like if I'm just shaken up for a bit,
like where it'll land. And now I'm sort of like,
hold on, that's enough shaking for now.

Speaker 1 (34:21):
It's time to get serious.

Speaker 3 (34:22):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (34:24):
But that being said, I'm like, I keep doing you know,
fake therapy on myself, and I when I'm in a rush,
I get like so like angry and like irritable, and
in this way that is like.

Speaker 3 (34:36):
A completely different person. It's not chill at all.

Speaker 2 (34:38):
And I was like, I'm like I remember being I
like definitely get this from like being late to school.

Speaker 3 (34:45):
Like me and my sister would go to like we're
one year one great a part.

Speaker 2 (34:48):
So we would like go to school sent all the time,
and so it would be like like if she was
running late and I was on time, I'd be so
angry and vice versa.

Speaker 3 (34:56):
If like like we would just.

Speaker 2 (34:57):
Like kind of go at it and be like like
insufferable if we were ever late. And so I'm like
I bring that into my adulthood and I've never let
go of it.

Speaker 1 (35:06):
I think interesting, would you say to sort of go
back to the therapy question that CBT is rushing and
psychoanalysis is sitting with it Like CBT is literally like
action based, right like, And I that's why I think
CBT is a straighter form of therapy than psychoanalysis, like psychonalysis.

Speaker 7 (35:27):
You are digging, yes, dang, because like the thing about
your whole paradigm, your whole framework with this podcast is
like l O wol.

Speaker 4 (35:38):
But then it's like so fucking.

Speaker 6 (35:39):
Real, I have the hope we don't always got there ship.

Speaker 4 (35:46):
That's right, that's right. And it's like if I can
quantify it and do that exactly exactly, maybe I'll get there.
And it's like nah, no.

Speaker 1 (35:54):
No, it's like not not dealing with it's you being
like filling out a form the entire time. You're but
you have no idea, but you're like, I filled out
the form. Here you go, I filled out the form.
You're bleeding from your eyes. You're going to the front desk.
You're saying, here is this enough. They're like, do you
need to go to the hospital. You're like, I filled
out the form.

Speaker 4 (36:12):
Yeah. Right. For some reason, the farting in your car
is coming back up for me, And like that's more
psychoanalysis where you like have to like sit with your
shit and be like okay.

Speaker 1 (36:22):
Okay, I know it's funny. In some ways, LA is
more psychoanalysis in New York is ironically because New York
is so psychoanalysis and up the outside, but actually LA,
because you're forced to sit with it, is more psychoanalysis.
In New York. You're like, well, if I don't, you know,
if I don't cross the street now, I'm going to be.

Speaker 4 (36:39):
Killed, right, And in LA, you're like the whole purpose
of the city is to create like a para a
para realistic relationship of yourself with yourself. So it's like
like kind of totally it kind of have to You're like,
what is my brand? And then you have to confront
like what your fucking brand is or something.

Speaker 1 (36:58):
Everyone wakes up every day they take out a little
life size puppet of themselves and they go to the
life sized puppet theater and put on a show and
everyone just has their puppet and they're like, look, my
performance is really good today. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (37:10):
It's like that's like it's like kind of Voodoo Dolley
like staging it and like crystal putting crystals in Yeah.

Speaker 1 (37:18):
Everything is one step removed from real life.

Speaker 2 (37:21):
I think of LA mostly as a series of gates.
I'm like, like in New York, I see just possibility.
I can go anywhere I want, whenever I want. In La,
everything is gated. Like to leave my house, I have
to open a gate, and I have to open another gate,
and then I have to get into a car, which
is a gate, and then I have to go on
a highway, which is a gate.

Speaker 1 (37:39):
Being so Caroline Polo check you open the door to
another door, to another door.

Speaker 3 (37:44):
Yeah, pretty much.

Speaker 1 (37:46):
Those are lyrics to a random song, yeah, to another
door to she says, you open the door to another door,
to another door, which is kind of one of the
most true things that has ever been spoken.

Speaker 4 (37:56):
Yeah, it's not even really coming up in.

Speaker 1 (37:59):
My Oh poly check, you're making a playlist.

Speaker 4 (38:04):
She's thirty nine, okay, I love her.

Speaker 1 (38:07):
No, she's also Oh yeah, she's been around forever.

Speaker 3 (38:09):
Yeah. Remember the band chair Lift, Well she was in it.

Speaker 1 (38:14):
She was in it. Gorgeous, beautiful, fashionable, kind of iconically
like I don't want to say airheaded because that's offensive,
but there's something very like airy about her intellect, Like
she'll be sort of intellect Damn she's so she's a

(38:35):
great you know, she'll she'll have like great lyrics, she'll
have great music. And then one time she posted something
that was long lines of like stop comparing me to
Kate Bush. I'm my own person, but like no one
was comparing her to Kate.

Speaker 3 (38:46):
But yeah, yeah, there's tough.

Speaker 1 (38:51):
It's tough, you know, it's tough to be an alt
pop musician and all of us that's not her life.

Speaker 4 (38:59):
Yeah, we are lucky.

Speaker 2 (39:01):
Yeah, I mean, okay, I have, I want to go
back to rushing. Yes, Like emotionally, do you guys feel
guilt when like I think there's there is something too
the rushing comes from, like wanting to please others or something. Ooh,
and I feel that pretty hard. And I'm like, do

(39:21):
you do you both feel that?

Speaker 3 (39:23):
Or no?

Speaker 1 (39:26):
I would say it's interesting because you think rushing. You
think that in rushing, you're pleasing others, and of course
you don't want to be you know, five hours late.
But I actually often think the people in my life
that are the most in your face and you know,
are almost like performatively anxious, always out of breath, it
actually creates a bad vibe, you know, like you actually

(39:48):
are more, it's much more. It's it's nicer towards other
people if you have a more calming presence, even if
you do happen to be ten minutes late. Like the
sort of classic kind of like New York figure of
the person who's like, you know, slamming the door in.
She's she's you know, her dog. She's like carrying her

(40:10):
dog and the dog is like, you know, midpoop. She's
like getting into the you know, getting into the restaurant,
like accidentally like knocking over a table. You're sort of like,
if you just calm down for a bit, it would
actually be a better experience for all of us.

Speaker 4 (40:22):
Yeah, there's something when you like said that, sim it's
like I'm thinking about like brushing really usually has to
do with what you you're perceived expectations of yourself pleasing,
like that type of pleasing others. And it's like there's
something outwardly imposing about rushing that is not self contained
and not like self definitive the way that the queer

(40:46):
experience calls for.

Speaker 3 (40:48):
Yeah, okay, I have one more.

Speaker 2 (40:50):
Okay, okay, this is the only argument I have for
rushing potentially being queer. Ready, Yeah, it's dreaming that you
can have it all, because I think I'm most likely
to rush when I'm like I'm going to go to
this thing, but I'm going to get a coffee before,
and I know that this could like throw everything for
a loose.

Speaker 1 (41:10):
Like try.

Speaker 4 (41:12):
Yeah, sort of like stuffing your like face, yeah kind of. Yeah, Yeah,
I relate to that packing it.

Speaker 3 (41:19):
In I really totally.

Speaker 1 (41:20):
And also, you know, it goes back to a lot
of these things, uh, like the fear of death, for example,
of course it is a straight quality, but it's also
historically a very queer quality, Like it is like the
instinct I want to make the most of a life
and to not want to settle is very queer, And

(41:40):
so I could see a way, you know, I could
see like a queer argument for sort of this having
this like all encompassing zest for life, and in order
to do it all you have to be constantly on
a rush, in a rush. But I will say that
there's something the straight version of rushing is like not
about that. It's much it's much more about like getting

(42:05):
to the meeting, Yeah.

Speaker 4 (42:06):
Because the oh go ahead, Sam, Sorry, Oh well.

Speaker 2 (42:08):
It's also taking something that's a personal issue and making
it like a societal issue, Like suddenly your feeling is
now everyone else's problem. You're pushing, you're shoving, it's you're
outwardly a problem.

Speaker 4 (42:20):
Yeah, because the queer version of it, I wouldn't actually
say is really rushing. It's like an insatiable thirst. It's
in the context of oppressive straightness, like what we're talking about.

Speaker 1 (42:33):
Yeah, it's also maybe a more psychological and emotional rushing.
It's like you're you know, not to be, not to
like romanticize whatever. It's like your brain going a mile
a minute because you are, you know, trying to interpret
all the different, you know, contradictions of the world and
trying to see how you can live as other in

(42:55):
a world that's not made for you. Like there is
a there is a sort of a constant intellectual quote
unquote rushing happening because you are trying to find the
right way to exist in the world, whereas the stray
version of rushing is much more external. It's like there's
nothing going on up here, but you're running on the street.

Speaker 3 (43:14):
Wow. Wow, Yeah, no, that makes sense. I hate sort
of I'm like sorry when you said that.

Speaker 2 (43:21):
All I was thinking about was like, how when like
scientists and movies about scientists like have that big moment
where they're seeing all the numbers and really through.

Speaker 1 (43:28):
That Like but that is kind of queer though anything no,
that is it.

Speaker 2 (43:32):
Is absolutely queir And I was like, I was just
sort of mourning that. I'm like, that's never gonna happen
for me, Is it? Like I never had that moment
with all the numbers you can with all the words.

Speaker 4 (43:42):
Yeah, I feel like that is like the that's like
the difference kind of like rushing on the street, like
you're saying, nothing's going on up here, but like the
sort of Homeland formula, it's like a different thing. It's
like rebelatory or something. And I feel like, Sam, I'm like,
I feel like I'm witnessing a couple Homeland moments from

(44:02):
you already today.

Speaker 1 (44:03):
I don't know.

Speaker 4 (44:04):
And also like the fact that you're in LA and
you made this big move after twelve years. I'm like,
I'm sure you came to some sort of like existential calculations.

Speaker 3 (44:12):
Yeah, I'm going through them always, even a year in.

Speaker 4 (44:16):
Oh yeah, I'm I've been here for like eighteen years.
I'm like still going through them, which is good, right,
Like it's like means you're like alive. Yeah, because there
is this like thing that we're talking about rushing, but
it's like just the sort of painful running that is
being alive.

Speaker 2 (44:32):
Yeah, what do we think of like rushing?

Speaker 3 (44:36):
I have something?

Speaker 2 (44:37):
Okay, what about like people that rush to sort of succeed,
Like people who at like twenty two are like like
I'm going to be a doctor, Like I need to
like the rush to grow up, I guess is sort
of what I'm saying like, I know we talked about
it a little bit, but like more in like a
business ye way, like people that like graduate college and

(44:59):
are like, right now I have to go get a
big job and throw my humanity out the wind.

Speaker 1 (45:03):
Wow, what an amazing way to bring it back to
our initial conversation. It literally was like the rushing of
child from childhood to adulthood.

Speaker 3 (45:11):
Yeah, is that that is stray right?

Speaker 1 (45:15):
Or it's tough, because I really think it could go
either way, because on the one hand, all right, let's say,
in a traditional queer narrative, which hopefully now is no
longer the case, a traditional queer narrative, you sort of
are like losing out on the beauty of like child
you know, teenage flirting. You know, let's say you're in
the closet, You're losing out on the beauty of like

(45:35):
teenage flirtation, teenage relationships, first hookups, whatever, and then the
stereotype is that you sort of make up for it after.
And so maybe gay people are more sexually active when
they're like in their twenties and thirties, whereas everyone else
is getting married and having kids. So that is, in
fact the opposite of rushing it is delaying, delaying adulthood,
whereas straight people are so desperate to have sex at

(45:59):
the they're just like I have to like just strake men,
or just like if I'm not jerking off, I'm not living.
So I guess in that sense, you could argue that
rushing to adulthood is straight. In a different sense, you
could argue that rushing to adulthood in the sense that like, oh,
let's say you're a little queer precocious kid and you're

(46:20):
like just like lonely and into books, that's also a
form of rushing because you're like trying to be more
of a grown up. I don't know, what do you think.

Speaker 2 (46:30):
I think it's more of like I don't necessarily think
of that as rushing to grow up. I'm more thinking
of the Russian to grow up as like, like the
only reason I would think it was the queer side
of it would be like you like want to prove
to everyone that like just because you're gay doesn't mean
you're like not like serious. You're not a serious person,

(46:54):
so you would like sort of like graduate college and
like put that painting hobby aside and work and consult
now to prove that, like you're not stupid, you have
two hundred thousand dollars.

Speaker 1 (47:06):
Well, I also think that's related to, you know, obviously rushing.
As we said, you're running from something rather than to something.
And I do think a part of the queer experience
occasionally is that you are running from some form you know,
until you accept yourself and you are a beautiful person,
you're running from some form of shame, some form of
self loathing, some form of like internal closetedness. And I

(47:29):
do think that often is what is like the fire
under people's asses that makes them immediately go into consulting,
you know what I mean, Like there is something it's like, well,
if I can't be normal, then I'm gonna be rich.

Speaker 4 (47:43):
And like, to me, that's like that maybe a queer
person at the center of that narrative, but the narrative
is hard or normative by definition.

Speaker 3 (47:50):
Yes, yes, yeah, damn.

Speaker 2 (47:53):
I definitely was like the closeted one who was like,
maybe if I can get really successful by twenty three,
able to tell me I'm closeted.

Speaker 1 (48:01):
I mean we talked about this with Vanessa Bayer when
we were talking about gay people in gay students and
student government, it's like if I can't be straight, I'm
going to be president.

Speaker 4 (48:11):
I was literally president of my class junior and senior
year exactly, because it's like it was just like so uncomfortable,
and I feel like it's like straighter to not rush
in middle school and high school because you're like meeking
out and you're like you're actually on script, you know
what I mean, And whereas I felt like me and
my best friends we were like, let's leave so we
can write our script, you know what I mean. Oh

(48:33):
my gosh. My best friend Daniel was like president of
National Honor Society, and it was just kind of like
we're sort of writing a script from these roles because
we are not being cast for the roles that.

Speaker 1 (48:47):
Oh my god, that is genius. Yeah, totally, totally. Well,
it's literally like the roles don't exist for you exactly.

Speaker 3 (48:53):
You know.

Speaker 1 (48:53):
It's sort of like when Reese Witherspoon started producing because
she was an aging woman in Hollywood and there were
no roles for her. She had to produce Wild and
guess what she and she made one of the best,
one of the best movies ever made.

Speaker 4 (49:06):
That's right. Wow, super sexy too, Yeah.

Speaker 3 (49:09):
Yeah, huge shout out to Reese.

Speaker 4 (49:13):
Hey, Rees, we know you're listening. We loved Wild just
like a sort of new opinion.

Speaker 1 (49:21):
She's always looking for she's always looking for a new ip.
So I think we'll see she's always trying to elevate
queer stories.

Speaker 5 (49:30):
Mm hmmmmmm I guess issue definitely women's stories.

Speaker 2 (49:36):
Yeah stories, Yeah, yeah, huh Okay.

Speaker 3 (49:40):
I have a question, Alana. Did you feel the Broad
City were you? Did you feel that you were rushing
to it? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (49:48):
Yeah, interesting because I'm.

Speaker 2 (49:50):
I'm realizing now, like, yeah, it's it's actually insane that
you got you were like so successful at like twenty
sevenn or what however old.

Speaker 4 (49:59):
Yeah, totally rushing. We made thirty five short films in
two years.

Speaker 3 (50:04):
That is so wild, it is.

Speaker 4 (50:05):
We were like obsessed and desperate. It's crazy.

Speaker 3 (50:10):
That's crazy, Tea.

Speaker 4 (50:12):
Yeah, yeah, that's kind of what I mean about like
mourning the loss of my teen years because like I
wasn't I kind of like in my twenties and thirties
was more like oh sex and sexual pleasure because like
before that, I was like planning and planning and scheming
and writing. Yeah, and then when Broad City ended, like
I was twenty two when we started making this web series.

(50:36):
We made thirty five webisodes. I was thirty two by
the time we finished the TV show, which was fifty episodes,
and I was like, who the fuck am I?

Speaker 5 (50:46):
You know, like, who am I.

Speaker 4 (50:48):
Outside of like writing and performing a person?

Speaker 1 (50:52):
You know, did you ever feel a tension between how
adult and productive you had to be as a creator
of this and also how and how you know what
I mean, and how.

Speaker 5 (51:02):
The character if you finish I'm just relating.

Speaker 1 (51:04):
Yeah, sorry, I mean, I'm sure you know what I'm
what I'm saying, but it's like how adult you had
to be versus how like I don't want to say immature,
because the characters weren't immature, but how like, uh lost,
the characters were like they were like very much like
had these like constant sort of like entry level jobs.
They were figuring it out. They were unlucky in love.
And meanwhile, I mean, I don't know what your personal

(51:27):
life was like, but certainly professionally, both you and Abby
were incredibly high functioning, productive people that were in a
sense like business wise beyond their years. Were you almost
like did you feel like a sense of like nostalgia
for a adolescence you never like for a twenties you
never had.

Speaker 4 (51:47):
Absolutely, I like had like it was such a there
was such a morning period after Broad City for like
on many levels, but that was absolutely one of them.
My husband says, I like blacked out during Odd City,
and Alana Wexler is like my unconscious mind making it
to the surface and taking the pleasure that I couldn't

(52:07):
as a lot of Glazer because I was like very
anxiously producing this thing. And you know, we made five
seasons and we like had a contract for two more seasons,
and we were like, we can't do this anymore. Like
we have like there's no more Like I'm thinking of
an assembly line and there's like no more assembly line,

(52:28):
you know what I mean. It was just the edge,
you know, And it was like we actually have to
like stop production before we fall off the edge, you
know what I mean.

Speaker 1 (52:34):
Yeah, al was like literalizing the voodoo thing with That's
what I was talking about. It's like you literally did
get up every morning and you were like, what am
I going to make my doppelganger do? Exactly exactly both
conscious and unconscious projection of who I am and how
I feel right and.

Speaker 4 (52:52):
It's like it was so authentic, like Abby and I
really met in this scrappy comedy way and we really
it was coming from us, and we named ourselves so
like that almost made it more confusing the distance between
the characters and our real selves, where it was like,
but aren't they us and aren't we so in such

(53:14):
control over da da da da dah. But it's like
you're we were like discounting like actual God being in control,
you know what I mean? Like we were like discounting
like spiritual a spiritual narrative that we couldn't couldn't see
because we were so tunnel vision like I got to
get to work, you know or whatever.

Speaker 5 (53:35):
It was like.

Speaker 4 (53:38):
Completely resonates with me. What you're what you're.

Speaker 3 (53:40):
Saying, Yeah, wow, that is so interesting.

Speaker 1 (53:43):
That is crazy thing not to go into promo mode,
But would you say that like your desire to then
recommit to stand up was a way to be like
I want to be as as literally myself as possible,
Like it's like I want to be not playing a character.
Or is that does that not resonate?

Speaker 5 (54:02):
Well?

Speaker 4 (54:03):
It does, it does resonate. I choke. Are you having
all these ticks?

Speaker 1 (54:18):
Oh?

Speaker 4 (54:18):
My gosh, okay, I'm like about to descend into my
Grandma Harriet's giggle fit and I'm not going to do it.
What you're saying, uh describes or what you're saying rings
true for me at the beginning of creating this hour,
but not when I like locked in because I really
am in psychoanalysis, and my analyst was like saying to me,

(54:41):
I've said this like a few times now in podcasts.
I really apologized to anyone who's heard this before. But
my analyst was like, you know, I was talking about
how much I like couldn't stand myself right after Bread City,
like how much I like fucking hated myself and stand
Up but needed it, and it's like I just felt
so torn and he was like, well, it's it's impersonal

(55:03):
and I was like, oh, exactly, it's like so personal.
It's like I'm like ripping my arm off and like
leaving it on the stage and he was like, no,
I said, impersonal, and I was like.

Speaker 5 (55:13):
Oh, bitch, you did.

Speaker 4 (55:18):
Okay, Well now I've got some like shit to sit
in of my own. And it helped me clarify what
Broad City had been. And with stand Up, it was
like what I was excited about was to actually like
reflect and have the capacity to reflect while I was
making art, and also for it to be like a

(55:40):
piece rather than a container for my limbs, you know
what I mean. I didn't have the capacity to separate
the contexts during Bread City. So like this, this experience
of creating the hour that is human magic, touring it

(56:00):
and filming it was so different and much more I
would actually say, much more advanced, like Sam, because I
was able to actually like play with it and not
rush through it, really give it the space that it needed,
and I like I had more. I took more pleasure
in it than Broad City. Was like incredible and a

(56:23):
miraculous experience to create and behold, but I didn't know
how to take pleasure in it, and I did in
this hour.

Speaker 2 (56:34):
Wow Wow, I love that It's some crazy for us
to ask real questions where it's not normally.

Speaker 1 (56:41):
I'm actually really proud of us as interviewers right now
because we're not we usually, I would say, especially over
the first like three or four years of the podcast,
in almost a rude way, we would like forget to
ask people about what they were promoting. We would be like,
this is our show you are our guest, now tell
us what you think is gay or straight, and then
you'll be like, right, so I'm not getting paid for this,

(57:02):
and I do have a special coming out and.

Speaker 6 (57:04):
We'd be like, shut up, shut.

Speaker 4 (57:07):
Your fucking mouth, bend over and take my pod. But
I do have to say, like I really am enjoyed,
like we are so genuinely discovering.

Speaker 1 (57:15):
I mean, I don't know if like you know, I agree,
I agree.

Speaker 4 (57:18):
Discovering in a way that we're like whoa that it's
like I don't care, but it.

Speaker 1 (57:23):
Brings you so much joy when a guest like is
on board with this sort of like collaborative theorizing, Like
it's so fun because sometimes people don't feel like doing
it and they like don't get that that's what it's
just like why are you?

Speaker 4 (57:38):
Why are you doing this? Then?

Speaker 1 (57:39):
Yeah, so we really appreciate it.

Speaker 4 (57:42):
I'm loving it. I'm like so in I'm going to
miss you guys genuinely.

Speaker 3 (57:51):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (57:52):
I also was like there was a because we don't
normally ask real questions, there was something where we were
like doing the theorizing and I was like, wait a minute,
we like along the glazers here, like I'm like, what
are we doing?

Speaker 1 (58:03):
No, it's right. I wouldn't. You wouldn't want us to
be like just like any other you know, just to
be like, so, how'd you get into comedy?

Speaker 3 (58:12):
Right?

Speaker 4 (58:13):
That would be so straight.

Speaker 3 (58:15):
Wait, that would actually be iconic though.

Speaker 1 (58:16):
That would be iconic if you came up and we
were like, so, how is UCB?

Speaker 4 (58:20):
Yeah, I don't know, but to get lost I have
to say to like get lost in discovery together feels
very queer. Yes, and I'm just like lapping it up.

Speaker 3 (58:32):
It's true.

Speaker 1 (58:34):
Okay, Well, should we do final thoughts on rushing or Sam?

Speaker 3 (58:38):
Do you want to final thoughts on rushing?

Speaker 4 (58:41):
Yes?

Speaker 3 (58:41):
Final thoughts on rushing to me?

Speaker 2 (58:45):
Okay, another, I do agree that it's mostly straight. The
one other queer thing about it is I'm thinking about
like like rushing through the rain, Like I'm thinking of
the poetry of rushing, and there is something where you're
so down on your luck that it's like you because
you're in such a sort of melodramatic space. If you're

(59:07):
like rushing and you step in a puddle and you
step in dog shit and a woman yells at you,
like you're like there, you're you are you are in
a narrative and yeah, you're.

Speaker 4 (59:18):
The main character, a char When that is queer to you,
I think that part can.

Speaker 1 (59:22):
Be like it's just a self romanticize and it's like
it's yeah, it's like I mean, it is the performance
of it. I mean, obviously I think there's a way
in which the performance of Russian can be straight because
you're being such a like business woman. But also performance
inherently is queer of course, Like it is much more
queer to be rushing than to be you know, like

(59:45):
sitting in a church pew wearing a blazer.

Speaker 2 (59:47):
Like I think essentially we need to look at every
single person who's rushing and be like are you self
aware about your rushing? Are you living in a movie
or are you thinking I just have to be there
on time?

Speaker 1 (59:57):
Are you living out loud?

Speaker 4 (59:59):
Like we're talking about like different levels of rushing. I
was thinking more like a businessman who's like shit people
totally totally so like important or whatever. But like what's
interesting about that also is like the camp of that
guy where he doesn't he doesn't realize category is segative
realness literally, and it's like, girl, we're imitating you, you know,
what I mean like that there's like there's a camp

(01:00:21):
to straightness that like it's really just about the awareness.
It's all kind of campy.

Speaker 3 (01:00:26):
Yeah, exactly. It is all about the awareness that is huge, enormous.

Speaker 1 (01:00:32):
Yeah, I mean the camunists of straightness is like doing
the most obvious thing. It's like someone doing the most
obvious thing and then you on the outside being like
can you believe they're doing that? This is literally a
bride wearing a white dress and a groom that is
giving a toast. It's like the movies, they're doing it.
That's what's camp about it.

Speaker 3 (01:00:49):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:00:50):
Oh god, when a movie starts out with someone rushing,
I'm like, this person is about to like have an
amazing level or.

Speaker 1 (01:00:57):
His product opening montage literal.

Speaker 4 (01:01:00):
Wait, I'm having like a thought right now, Like the
thing about like what you're saying about like the bride
and that she's the ring of my dress and he's
like making a toast. Fuck I hope I remember. The
fucking thing is that it's like back to the la
thing is like oh my gosh, okay, oh my gosh.
It's like there's this contrived discovery where like the camp
of straightness is like we're doing it, We're really giving

(01:01:20):
the toast, and it's like, you mean like the forty
million other toasts that we're in this year in the
same fashion, And it's like lack of capacity to self discover,
whereas like the queerness is almost like the genuine, true
new discovery, which is like also what you say about performance,
and it's not even like who are you fucking? It's
like how how brand new? How how vulnerable are you

(01:01:45):
able to be to be brand new in this moment?

Speaker 1 (01:01:48):
Yeah, And the discovery is key. I think the instinct
to want something new is queer, and the instinct to
like basically like recreate what you've seen is straight.

Speaker 4 (01:02:01):
It's like that's right, that's right.

Speaker 1 (01:02:04):
Huh huh.

Speaker 2 (01:02:09):
Stunningly, I think I've really covered rushing.

Speaker 4 (01:02:14):
I think I'm never gonna like this is a.

Speaker 1 (01:02:19):
Alana, I'm never gonna forget this day.

Speaker 4 (01:02:21):
I'm changing conversation because I honestly like when I rush
and I think I'm my dumb shit is so important.
I'm like, it's like this is a I'm changed.

Speaker 2 (01:02:29):
Yeah, I mean, I think December sixth will go down
as as important, if not more important, than January sixth.

Speaker 1 (01:02:37):
And say, January seventh, when this comes out, is gonna
be even more important?

Speaker 4 (01:02:41):
Right? That's right? Then both dates combined.

Speaker 1 (01:02:44):
Whow amazing? Should we do our final segment?

Speaker 2 (01:02:48):
I think that's an amazing idea. A lot of our
final segments called shout outs, and in this segment, we
shout out in the Grand Street oral tradition anything that
we are enjoying. Imagine at CRL two thousand and one
and you are in Times Square shouting out to your
squad back home.

Speaker 3 (01:03:08):
About anything that you like. We make them up on the.

Speaker 1 (01:03:10):
Spot, come up on the spot. I just thought it
was mine.

Speaker 3 (01:03:13):
Do you have one? Do you want to go first? Story?
I go, yeah, we'll go first.

Speaker 1 (01:03:16):
Okay, what's up freaks?

Speaker 3 (01:03:17):
Some losers?

Speaker 1 (01:03:18):
I want to give a shout out to novellas. I'm
talking novels that are like one hundred pages long.

Speaker 3 (01:03:24):
You know you.

Speaker 1 (01:03:25):
I'm not gonna stand here and be insecure about Sometimes
I can't deal with four hundred pages. And if someone
else said that to me, I'd say, oh my god,
you stupid anti intellectual, sit your ass down, put that
phone away, and read War and Peace. But you know what,
I have to be honest with myself. Sometimes I don't
have the patience for it. Not always, but sometimes. And
when you get a book that is ninety to one

(01:03:47):
hundred and twenty pages long, are you kidding me? You
can read that in one afternoon. It is edited down
to the bare bones. You're not reading fucking fifteen page
descriptions of rain. There's a time in a place for that.
There was not having a place for that, but guess
what it's not when I am in a rush, a
call back to the to the topic of the episode,
and so I want to especially shout out. I'm currently

(01:04:09):
reading a book called The Pilgrim Hawk by Glenway Westcott.
It is about it all takes place in one afternoon
in one house I in heaven. I don't have to memory.
I don't have to look at a map of Lord
of the Rings characters, I don't have to look at
a family tree. I just have to know four characters.
And of course the hawk that a woman carries around
that is kind of an important of the story. So

(01:04:30):
I can't wait to see what happens and shout out
to Novella's.

Speaker 2 (01:04:33):
Who, Well, that's groundbreaking, Okay, I think I think I'm
gonna go I think I have one, well I have
I have one and a half. Okay, okay, wait, I
gotta remember what the second thing is called. Okay, this
is going to be a completely disparate two parter.

Speaker 3 (01:04:51):
Ready, what is up? Freaks, losers and perverts are on
the globe.

Speaker 2 (01:04:54):
I want to give a huge shout out. That's right
to my dentist. I yesterday got dental procedure done, part
one of getting a crown. I have never had one before.
And I said, I said to him, I'm scared, I'm nervous,
and he said, don't worry.

Speaker 3 (01:05:09):
I got you.

Speaker 2 (01:05:10):
And when I tell you, this man had me, I
felt so taken care of.

Speaker 3 (01:05:14):
I do want to say.

Speaker 2 (01:05:15):
I know it's hacked for me to say, but there
was something sexual about just giving up control and letting
this man grind my tooth down to nothing. I felt trusted.
I felt like I was looking into his eyes and.

Speaker 3 (01:05:28):
He kept saying, are you okay? Thumbs up? Thumbs up?
Are you okay?

Speaker 1 (01:05:31):
Don't forget to free?

Speaker 3 (01:05:32):
And I was like, this is amazing.

Speaker 2 (01:05:34):
I love this doctor and this dentist, and the damn
office is so humble, and the you know where the
leather on the chair is cracking and you're like, ugh,
this is a lived in office, not some of these
fancy ringl like camera offices. This is a real fucking
dentist and he is gonna inject me with whatever and

(01:05:56):
just grind my teeth to shit. I love this man
and he can hold me as tight as he wants.
And secondly, and of course, the most edgy shout out
yet is I have to shout out Cozy Little Christmas
by Katy Perry.

Speaker 3 (01:06:13):
I'd of this.

Speaker 2 (01:06:15):
It came on when I was in a CBS and
I said, this song is so good and I cannot
stop hearing it and loving it.

Speaker 3 (01:06:24):
Cozy Little Christmas Katy Perry.

Speaker 2 (01:06:25):
I know this is coming out after Christmas, but mark
my words, this is Christmas cannon from now on.

Speaker 3 (01:06:31):
Cozy Little Christmas Katy Perry. WHOA wow.

Speaker 1 (01:06:36):
Literally never heard of that song in my life.

Speaker 3 (01:06:38):
Well, you haven't spent enough time in CBS, guys.

Speaker 4 (01:06:44):
I wish I had gone first because those were so strong.

Speaker 1 (01:06:48):
Thank you.

Speaker 4 (01:06:49):
But in the spirit of queer self discovery, I'm gonna try,
and I'm gonna go so okay. I do know that
I'm nervous. What's up? Creeks? And one perverse and shucking losers.
I'm going to give a shout out to hot water
first thing in the morning. A mug of hot water

(01:07:09):
first thing, Oh my gosh, gets those organs moving, loose
up everything that's going on inside. It doesn't matter if
it's dry out or if it's moist in the air.
You are moist. You are moist everywhere, and you feel
that heat. And you don't need external validation because you're
taking care of your body and your organs by keeping

(01:07:33):
them pure first thing in the morning, before you dumb
pompsins into your body for the rest of the day.
This is your one moment of peace and quiet and
you have to take your time and you cannot rush
when you drink this mug of hot water first thing
in the morning, and you are using that space and
time wisely tea reflect on what it means to be

(01:07:55):
in a body so.

Speaker 2 (01:07:58):
Buffy you Wow, great, that was amazing.

Speaker 3 (01:08:07):
I'd never thought of having hot water in the morning.

Speaker 1 (01:08:10):
Do you not do coffee?

Speaker 4 (01:08:14):
I do. It's just like when I'm being really a
really good girl, I'm having a mug of hot water
first God.

Speaker 2 (01:08:19):
Wow, I'm definitely chugging water when I wake up but
always ice cold.

Speaker 1 (01:08:24):
I think that in my uh very gay guy, I
think I'm gonna become one of those classic women who
get hot water with lemon after dinner.

Speaker 3 (01:08:36):
I really see that for you.

Speaker 4 (01:08:40):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, you want to that dinner out?

Speaker 2 (01:08:45):
Yeah, I'm gonna go ahead and want to poop that
dinner out.

Speaker 4 (01:08:49):
Feel like an elegant bitch. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:08:54):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (01:08:54):
This has been an absolute delight. Alna, thank you so
much for doing the pod, and tell our listeners will
more time, what your specialists called and where and when
people can stream it.

Speaker 4 (01:09:05):
If this is coming out on January seventh, I hope
you didn't celebrate the anniversary yesterday but rather took time
to give your body healthy pleasure. You can currently watch
my so more stand up special Human Magic on Hulu
and Disney Plus worldwide for those you know, Greek and

(01:09:27):
international course listeners.

Speaker 2 (01:09:30):
Yeah wow, Well, thank you so much for doing the pod.
This has been a real treat.

Speaker 4 (01:09:35):
I'm honored. What a pleasure.

Speaker 2 (01:09:37):
Welcome, bye bye bye podcast and now want more.

Speaker 1 (01:09:42):
Subscribe to our Patreon for two extra episodes a month,
discord access and more by heading to patreon dot com,
slash stradio lab.

Speaker 2 (01:09:50):
And for all our visual earners. Free full length video
episodes are available on our YouTube now Get Back to Work.

Speaker 3 (01:09:56):
Stradia Lab is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money
Players Network and i Art Podcasts.

Speaker 1 (01:10:00):
Created and hosted by George Severs and Sam Taggart.

Speaker 2 (01:10:03):
Executive produced by Will Ferrell, Han Sony and Olivia Aguilar,
co produced by Bei Wang, edited and engineered by Adam Avalos.
Artwork by Michael Fails and Matt Gruff. Theme music by
Ben Kling.