Surprise Call-In Show!

It's time to check in with the most important people in the world: listeners of the StraightioLab podcast. Two different Zachs, as well as some other people, called the hotline... and we answered! You can always leave us a question or comment at 385-GAY-GUYS. And who knows... you might hear your call on air sooner than you think...

STRAIGHTIOLAB MERCH: cottonbureau.com/people/straightiolab

SUBSCRIBE TO OUR PATREON at patreon.com/straightiolab for bonus episodes twice a month and don't forget to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts!

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:19):
Podcast starts now. Welcome all to Stradia Lab. We are
back bi coastally on Zoom. Just me and George today, George,
how the hell are you hi?

Speaker 2 (00:31):
You know, it's funny, we're so used to doing this
for Patreon. You know, the default Patreon recording is, you know,
maybe a little bit raspy voice on a Sunday afternoon.
Maybe one of us has a coffee, one of us
has a smoothie or some other type of specialty beverage.
There's no pressure to be firing on all cylinders comedically,

(00:55):
but when you know it through that comes the best
possible comedy because we can finally relax and be ourselves. Yeah,
and sometimes I forget that most people statistically that listen
to this podcast only get the non patren episodes, And
it's kind of like, you know, we live this life
as kind of Zoom domestic partners. We have conversations, we

(01:19):
have debates, we cook dinner, we have breakfast, and then
people only get to see the side of us that
comes out when we have a guest.

Speaker 1 (01:27):
Yeah. Yeah, they see us when we've you know, spent
all day cleaning the house, when we're when we're wearing
our best shirts, when we say let's let's turn on
the face, but now we're sort of letting you in.
It's sort of this this type of episode which just
two of us. It's like being on vacation with someone
and you then wake up the next day and you're like,
so we're still hanging out.

Speaker 2 (01:48):
Well, it's that, but it's also being like, God, are
so comfortable with each other that we can just stay
in the silence.

Speaker 1 (01:54):
Oh, absolutely, Like one of us is.

Speaker 2 (01:55):
Doing the crossword and one of us is reading the
latest issue.

Speaker 1 (01:58):
Of Harper's Bus speaking of I want to talk to
you about your big party last night.

Speaker 2 (02:06):
Ooh, well, I have to say you know, I went
to a big party last night. It was uh egg
how Slata, Tinder and the ACLU were the three co
hosts of this big fashion week party. And wouldn't you
know what, the MC was our very own Cat Cohen.

Speaker 1 (02:23):
When you were posting pictures from there, I was like, God,
I missed New York. Oh and it was in the
Russian tea room. Have ever been? I've never even been.
I had neither.

Speaker 2 (02:32):
And I actually found myself unintentionally lying and talking to
someone and being like, I haven't been here in so
long and then they were like, I actually never been here,
and I was like, yeah, me neither.

Speaker 1 (02:43):
You know I this is this is something that we
both have in common. Actually, if people assume I've been somewhere,
I will let them assume it. I would never correct
someone to be like like I, yeah, I'll even go
so far say I fully lied. You know what I
lie about what I actually the last time I was
in New York called the fuck out? Is I lie
about having been to basement? Oh? Yeah, I have, like

(03:06):
the basement. I actually don't even remember. At this point.
I'm always like, yeah, I've been to basement. And then
somebody point blank looked at me and was like wait.
It was like someone I hadn't met before, and it
was sort of like getting to know yu convo. Yeah,
but like he it was there. It was like him
and then like a close friend, and he was like, wait,
have you been to basement before? And I was like no,
And then it was like it was Julio, and Julio's

(03:28):
like jaw dropped, and I was like, see, this is
why I don't tell anyone but I haven't been to
basement because I don't need to go to basement to
have been to basement totally.

Speaker 2 (03:36):
Well, this is like me having a terrible sense of
direction but insisting on nodding vigorously when someone is like,
you know that spot on Carmine where it's next to
that one bodega, and I'm like, of course, oh god,
I used to always go there in two thousand and seven.
I I can't bring myself because I have such a
bad sense of direction. I don't know which things are,

(03:57):
which things I should know, and which things are special?

Speaker 1 (04:00):
Do you know what I mean? I fully understand.

Speaker 2 (04:02):
It's sort of like it's not embarrassing to not know
a very specific niche intersection, but it is embarrassing to
not know where Times Square is. But I don't know
if we're closer to Times Square or closer to random
intersection on Carmine when I'm talking to someone, so I
just pretend that I know.

Speaker 1 (04:19):
Everything well, and it's like, is there gonna be a
quiz on this? Because so many times totally you can
just get through it and be like I made them
feel like they were heard, and that's kind of all
they wanted in that moment. Yeah, And then sometimes they
are like but have you been there? Or like but
once across the street and I'm like, oh, sorry, I'm kidding.
I don't know what you're.

Speaker 2 (04:38):
Talking about, right, See, they want to have a conversation,
whereas you're trying to just get a gold star to.

Speaker 1 (04:42):
Go through, to get through the day.

Speaker 2 (04:44):
Like you're just trying, You're just trying to prove to
someone I'm also human. You're Amy Adams holding up the
human sign in arrival. Meanwhile they're trying to actually have
an interaction.

Speaker 1 (04:53):
Yeah, it's simply not right. It's not right at all.

Speaker 2 (04:55):
By the way, I just want to say for everyone
listening and being like, God, they're being so loose and sexy,
and I wish I could hear more of this. You know,
we do this twice a month over on the over
on the Patreon, Patreon, dot com, slash stradio app, and
it is we are churning them out all.

Speaker 1 (05:10):
Yeah, so you had fun at this party. Yes, I
had such a good time at the party. I really did.

Speaker 2 (05:16):
Actually, I was very you know, with events, of course,
you never know which way it's gonna go.

Speaker 1 (05:23):
Yeah, it's really hit or miss.

Speaker 2 (05:25):
It could go. You could be the outsider who doesn't
fit in. You could also on the other side, of
things be like among the same people you see all
the time, and that's also boring, and you're almost like,
I wish an outsider would come in, someone like Ryan
and the Oc, let's say, and really shake things up
in this town, because I am sick of making the

(05:46):
same small talk over and over again. And this was
a real happy medium. You know, there were some people
I knew, some people they didn't know. It was very
nice to see Kat like working the room. They played,
Oh the DJ, you know, I'm at actually gonna look
into who this DJ was so I can give them
a proper shout out on a later app. We're talking
like the perfect balance of you know, there would be

(06:09):
a B side from a Madonna's American Life album, so
they actually specifically played Nobody Knows Me, Wow, Nobody Knows Me,
and then there would be like, you know, let's say,
like a shot yeah, sort of like a semi ironic
shod Day remix or something. But then it would go
right into Abrica.

Speaker 1 (06:29):
Dabra m Heaven Have Been.

Speaker 2 (06:33):
And Martini's were flowing. Finger food was the perfect the
perfect level of finger food because they can obviously be
too little, but it can also be too much. And
suddenly you're having whole slices of pizza. Yeah, but it
was just the right amount of past apps. And then
at the end there was a full hour of just
pigs and blankets, and you you kept sort of thinking, oh, like,

(06:55):
this is the last one I have to pounce while
they're still going, and then it would be like forty
five minutes later, pigs and blankets.

Speaker 1 (07:01):
Wow. Yeah, And doesn't Kat famously love pigs and blankets?
I actually do think that's true. Wow. I wonder if
it was because of Kat. Maybe it was because of Cat.

Speaker 2 (07:12):
She kept she kept like making really funny references to
the idea that Egouslata, Tinder, and the ACLU were natural partners,
because obviously it's so random that it's those three companies.

Speaker 1 (07:26):
So she kept just being like, name a more iconic trio.
I'll wait, I'll wait, I'll wait here all day. Name
a more iconic trio. That is so funny. Wow. The
more distance I have New York, the more that I'm
just like it's literally Sex and the City. Like I'm like, God,
this is like a Sex in the City episode, I know,
and it's weird to see it from a zoom out lens.

Speaker 2 (07:47):
Well, especially Russian Tirium. You know, have you ever been
to Tao And don't lie. I've never been to tow So
I went to town for the first time this year
was just such a I thought it was literally like
a fictional sex in the city location. Yeah, but I
got to tell you, you know, obviously there's some it's glam
in its own way, but it does feel like you're
chasing something that is no longer there.

Speaker 1 (08:08):
Yeah, it's like working in Hollywood.

Speaker 2 (08:10):
That's right, Well, yes, that's like, yeah, it's like working
in any industry that isn't I guess like doge.

Speaker 1 (08:17):
Yeah, or yeah, Amazon funded.

Speaker 2 (08:19):
Or Amazon funded. So what are we doing today? Tell
the listeners.

Speaker 1 (08:25):
So pretty much today we're gonna it's very loose. We're
going to go through some calls and we're going to
chat and that's essentially it. I would you know. I
think what's amazing about going through calls is that I'm
not even we don't even say things like we're going
to be giving advice because well, quite frankly, we're not
what I love about, you know, as we continue to

(08:46):
deconstruct everything around us. This is a call in show
that's like we will hear your play your call and
then go okay, and then we'll sort of talk about
it totally. It's conversation. It's a prompt.

Speaker 2 (09:01):
We're having a conversation, and then when we feel like it,
we press the button that's like, here's a new prompt exactly,
and whether or not we follow it and to what
extent is kind of none of your business because this
is a free episode.

Speaker 1 (09:13):
And you're not paying for it. This is that supported Malma.
I'm actually tired for no good reason. I mean, I
did nothing last night. But Gizmo the dog, you know,
normally a very healthy and strong constitution. I'll tell you what.
He was diarrhea ing like crazy last night. Oh my god.

(09:34):
And in a way that was kind of I was like,
is everything okay? So I kept having to get up
and like clean things. Actually it was like a nightmare.
But I think he seems better today. But it was
really like I was like, is this what it's like
to have a child? Kind of, I was like, damn,
I'm not built for it.

Speaker 2 (09:54):
We you know, our niece lives like a ten minute
walk from us, so it's very nice because we get
to see her whenever we want and I'm actually gonna
go see her after this. And you know, I've always
been pretty ambivalent about having kids, and I sort of
thought having a niece would move me definitively in one direction,
and it almost has done the opposite, where I'm kind

(10:15):
of like even less decisive about it that because I'm like, oh, so,
now I just have like an on call child, Like
I can go whenever I want in microdose being a parent. Yeah,
and I don't have to do any of the like
difficult things I never like when I miss her, I
can just see her.

Speaker 1 (10:33):
Yeah, why would I have my own? No?

Speaker 2 (10:36):
But then also if I'm driven to see her, does
that mean I want to be a parent. It's unclear.

Speaker 1 (10:41):
It's unclear. The whole thing confuses me quite a bit.
I know, well, here's the thing. Sorry, Will, I will
play the first call.

Speaker 2 (10:48):
But I have a theory that like, there's something about
having a child in your twenties that is sort of
a classic for a reason, because you're just dumb enough
to not or just an experienced enough to not consider
the difficulties of it. And I actually think because there's
part of me that's like, oh my god, what am
I going to be fifty still considering whether I want kids,
and it's like, yeah, because the older you get, the
more stuff you know, and the more there is to

(11:10):
sacrifice if you change your life radically from one day
to the other. It's it's actually not that I'm you know, immature,
or like night you know, or or like I need
to grow up that I'm still undecided. It's like, yeah,
it makes more sense to be undecided in your thirties
than it does when you're twenty three.

Speaker 1 (11:31):
I fully fully agree. Sometimes I think about that with
like getting married too. When people like get married at
twenty five, I was like, that's so young, and I'm like, wait,
maybe they were right, Like there was something like it's
like more like yes, obviously there's more risk of like
getting divorced later. But still it's like, but you were
like living out loud, you were like not dumb enough
to really consider everything else, and you know what else.

Speaker 2 (11:52):
That's what I feel about career stuff too, because like,
for example, in most of Europe, and I believe honestly
in most places outside of Marria, you like apply and
get into a field. It's like you apply to college
and you get into the psychology program, you get into
you know, the law program whatever, and then you're like, well,
we got to do it live, whereas here it's like

(12:13):
you spend four years just reading books, then you have
to have a fifteen year long unpaid internship, and then
suddenly at thirty five you're like, oh, is my heart
really in it? And it's like, well, by this point,
someone in Sweden has four children and is running for offits.

Speaker 1 (12:30):
Yeah, yeah, it's it's tough. It's tough. Being in this
age is funny. I'm like, I can't tell if it's
this age or if it's la but hobbies are back.
So I tell you that, really I think hobbies are
back in a big way. Well hobbies.

Speaker 2 (12:45):
I do think you are obviously right that like childless
people in their thirties go back to hobbies, and that just.

Speaker 1 (12:53):
Is a fact. That just is a fact. And what
kind of hobbies are we talking? Oh, you know, I
think woodworking. M I think like, okay, I took. I
mean this is like a it's not a real one,
but I went to the have you ever been to
the gay guy dance class? You're gonna have to be
more specific, the one that Alec Cohen does. Oh no, no,

(13:17):
I haven't at gay choreographer on Instagram. Oh, I know
him well. He he did an LA one yesterday and
I went to it and it was extremely fun. Highly
recommend if anyone is interested in it. A dance class
pop music, pop pop music. We learned to dance to
green Light by Lord Oh and it was so much fun.

(13:37):
And but I was like I also couldn't stop zooming
out and be like, this is like Charlotte going to
like take a salsa class and like hoping to like
switch it up and be like I've still got it,
don't I I've still got it.

Speaker 2 (13:50):
Oh, it's so hard to how like, uh, these things
are coded as somehow embarrassing. It's like, oh, you want
to like develop a scale, you want to like have fun,
you want to meet people loser. We need to get
away from that mindset.

Speaker 1 (14:05):
It's also funny to be there and be like, there's
all these gay guys that I either I don't know
or have like vaguely been at the same events as
because and like we just all say hello as if
we know each other, like hugging and being like hi, Hi,
it's like we do not know each other.

Speaker 2 (14:21):
Oh, also have to say gig guy, helloes have gotten
to a I would say avant garde point at this
at this point, like you genuinely don't know if someone
is going to like do a little jig when they
see you or fully make out with tongue, and I
have no idea what I'm even going for. And by
the way, you know what, it's the most lame possible

(14:41):
thing you can do. Go in for a hug. That's
the one thing no one does anymore. If you're going
in for a hug, you might as well be saying, no, homo,
I don't care what you do behind closed doors, dude,
but like it's not for me.

Speaker 1 (14:53):
Yeah, you at least have to gomah as you do it. Yes,
you have to go maa also.

Speaker 2 (14:59):
Or it's like it's like two gay guys in a
row will kiss me on the lips, so then I'll
be like, okay, so.

Speaker 1 (15:04):
This is a lip party. So then I'll go for
it with the third.

Speaker 2 (15:06):
One, and he'll like like not be ready for it,
and I'm like, no, it's not my fault. Like I
thought we were doing lips tonight.

Speaker 1 (15:12):
The president was set. I'm just following president, that is true.
I love the gig guy.

Speaker 2 (15:18):
Hello, you know, it's funny, we've just created a version
because already straight I hello famously confusing because you don't
know what sort of like handshake they're going to go
in for. And so now we've created that. But the
more gay version, which is what level of makeout are
you doing with your random online friend you've met once before?

(15:43):
Speaking of gay versus straight? Howbout we take a first call.

Speaker 1 (15:47):
Let's do it.

Speaker 3 (15:48):
Hi, George, Hi Sam, a big fan. My name is Zach.
So I came out really late. I came out at
like the age of twenty seven, and I was like
four years ago.

Speaker 4 (16:00):
And I have a wonderful boyfriend who is like my
seeing eye dog for like gay world. But I still
kind of feel like a kid who is homeschooled this
whole life who suddenly is.

Speaker 3 (16:10):
Like at his first day of public high school.

Speaker 5 (16:13):
So I guess my question is, like, how do I
act more gay for lack of a better term with
while still like being myself?

Speaker 3 (16:24):
And like how do I know, like what parts of myself.

Speaker 4 (16:27):
Are truly me versus what I like conditioned myself to act,
like think, like be interested.

Speaker 3 (16:36):
In from being in the closet for so long.

Speaker 1 (16:38):
Thanks Bite, an even a voice like that, I don't
think you need any more help being more gay, you bitch.

Speaker 2 (16:49):
I actually you know, I was going to say he
has a hot voice to me, am I wrong.

Speaker 1 (16:52):
Well it can be hot and still be gay sounding.

Speaker 2 (16:55):
Wow, look at me doing internalized homophobia. You're like, your
voice sounds a gay like No, actually it was pretty
I just want to say, I think it's the perfect
level of gay. I think it is in conversation with
some of the great gay guys we know.

Speaker 1 (17:08):
And I think it's a great gay voice.

Speaker 2 (17:09):
I don't think it's especially by the way, it's no
problem if it's If it was super Queenie, that would
also be completely fine. But I think in the range
of like super Queenie on one end and kind of
like surprisingly husky, like a Jared Goldstein, let's say where
you're like, oh, I didn't know what we were doing
with a mask for mask mama tonight. I think it

(17:31):
is a perfect down the middle, and I think it
is a perfectly lovely voice.

Speaker 1 (17:34):
I think it's a perfectly lovely voice. And I'm sorry
I said it sounded gay, but I also not I
celebrated it sounding gay, and and I think it's a
I say it because it's it's always a funny question.
Someone's like, how do I be more gay? And it's like,
totally look inward, bitch, you best start believe it in
being gay. You already are.

Speaker 2 (17:50):
I distinctly remember having this issue, you know, go into
your first gay bar, gay club, whatever, and thinking the
issue is that you're not gay enough, when actually the
issue is that you're like do gay.

Speaker 1 (18:06):
I wish there were some examples. I think, like, I know,
I know what he means, of course.

Speaker 2 (18:10):
And by the way, I have that feeling every time
I'm in a new community of any.

Speaker 1 (18:15):
Kind of course, you have that feeling. Yeah, yeah, Like
I've always joked that I wish I had been closeted
a little bit longer so I could have a favorite
football team, because I think, as a gay guy now,
it is so funny to be like, yes, i'm, i'm, i'm,
my paws are up, but when the game's on, don't
talk to me. I think that would be fun, but

(18:38):
unfortunately it didn't happen for you.

Speaker 2 (18:39):
You know, to that point, I just want to say
so many gay guys are sorry to use the word
performative this way, but performatively liking straight things these days,
and I think it's not cute anymore. Like stop it,
because actually, at this point it's not ironic. You are
just feeding into, feeding into what Trump wants. It's enough

(19:04):
enough of a gay guy being like, actually, what I
really love is beer and football with the boys. Some
have some have some self respect and listen to tanache.

Speaker 1 (19:20):
Is that too much to ask? We're not asking you
to stop liking It's also just like that's just like,
don't take pride in it. It's like, don't doesn't make
kids like.

Speaker 2 (19:28):
It's just as kind of basic and normal as if
a straight guy liked it.

Speaker 1 (19:33):
It doesn't make you special. No.

Speaker 2 (19:36):
And I'm also especially angry about this today because I so,
Matthew and I have a reservation for four at this restaurant.
It's Super Bowl Sunday, okay, woo hoo, And so I'm
asking around, I'm saying, which gay guys can go with us?
Every single one has Super Bowl plans. Really, I'm like,
wait the fuck up and come and come to this

(19:56):
very desirable in new restaurant by the way, where it's
difficult to get her as.

Speaker 1 (20:02):
I mean, I've even this year is like In the past,
I've ironically been like, let's like make Mischa likes to
make chicken wings, and it's like, okay, let's just like
have super Bowl food and have people over and like pretend. Yeah,
but this year I was like, actually, I fucking hate
the Super Bowl. I'm sure I want to watch the performance,
but that's it. And then like, so I'm not going

(20:23):
to waste my Sunday doing something ironically that I don't
care about at all, totally, and we can make super
Bowl food for the fucking Oscars. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (20:32):
So I will say, in terms of this question, you
actually are in a great place right now if what
you're searching for is more queer community, because it's cool
for gay guys to act straight now, so you have
so much more practice in this so you can really
like teach people how to enjoy straight things.

Speaker 1 (20:52):
That's true.

Speaker 2 (20:53):
But my favorite part of this question is definitely the
question of how to disentangle what is actually your authentic
personality from what you were socially conditioned to like as
a closeted person pretending to be straight. And I think
both of us have things like that that were like
that are like straight leaning interests from our time in

(21:16):
the closet, would you like to speak to yours?

Speaker 1 (21:18):
Yeah? Mine is indie rock music exactly. Mine is that
when I get drunk, I'll say, let's put on silver juice. Yeah,
and it's like come on, And it is like there's
something about it where I am even still torn where
I look like or like do I like this or

(21:41):
was this just like because I was in this friend
group in college that like this was the currency and
this is all my memories of that. But it's like
there's not really a difference. I think, like I kind
of think there's no way to disentangle those things. Yeah,
I also think.

Speaker 2 (21:58):
It's still you, like, if anything, your connection to those
things could be more complex because it is because you
have a more a more multifaceted relationship to it than
just someone who's like that rocks.

Speaker 1 (22:15):
And I do think there's something I understand this color too.
Sometimes I get jealous of a of a guy who
is like just was gay from the from the jump,
like knows all the like Britney spears b sides for
some reason that no one else listens to, and it's
like like you're they really feel like they're in it.
They're in the gay culture in a way where you're like,

(22:35):
that's so different than my relationship with it. And it's
not that I don't like Britney Spears, I just only
know the hits and so it's but I also think
it's all uh, everyone has varying levels of involvement in
the gay culture. George, think what what's your straight thing? Oh?

Speaker 2 (22:53):
I will tell you in a second. But do you
think a previous generation of gay men is like listening
to this and rolling in their graves? That are examples
of gay culture? Are Britney Spears b sides rather than
like the opera and like like.

Speaker 1 (23:09):
Going to the Philharmonic? Yeah, maybe whatever, whatever, guess what whatever? Oh,
they're gonna be fucking dead soon.

Speaker 2 (23:21):
Yeah, and then we'll be and will be condescending to
kids that are for whom the like foundational gay text
are the TikTok of that one girl being like it's
about food, it's about omega threes and fatty proteins. And
then we're like, how about you listen to Email My
Heart by Britney Spears.

Speaker 1 (23:42):
Bitch, Yeah, no, a real song.

Speaker 2 (23:44):
So mine the only thing I can think of, honestly,
I mean, I will say I went through like a
soccer phase.

Speaker 1 (23:55):
But I think that was.

Speaker 2 (23:56):
More so because I like the pageantry of things like
the Olympi, things like the euro Cup. I like to
see countries that normally don't get their due, countries like
you know Argentina, let's say, or or Brazil, you know,
countries that are not global superpowers, be like number one
at something.

Speaker 1 (24:14):
So I did.

Speaker 2 (24:17):
I would say, like in the early odds, I would
like regularly watch the World Cup or the EuroCup, and
I will I will say it that when I came
to America, I did get off on knowing something that
like having a sense of history about something that other
Americans did not and being able to like switch that
gear and be like, oh, did you know George knows
about soccer? So that was one and then the other

(24:37):
one I think was just I think I liked a
lot more like classic stand up, like George Carlin classic
stand up.

Speaker 1 (24:46):
You were much more balt from the jump, That's true.

Speaker 2 (24:50):
Like I'd be like into watching George Carlin's HBO specials,
or like looking up like Richard Pryor or things like that.
Of course, really took me right to Joan Rivers very fast.
So I don't want to overstate how much I stayed
in that zone.

Speaker 1 (25:07):
Well you know, if people knew how much I used
to stand Louis c K, there'd be some issues. Oh yeah,
I mean, one of the best to ever do it.

Speaker 2 (25:19):
But I just want to say, you know, I think, like,
sorry if this is a cop out, but I do
just think, literally, you have to just let go. Like
you have this amazing boyfriend. It seems like you do
have queer community, you have other queer friends. Just because
they know another song or film more play than you do,
doesn't mean you have to have any insecurity about it.

(25:41):
And guess what, you are a You're gonna be a
lifelong learner. We're all still learning things. I every single
time some random gay, gay icon celebrity dies that have
never heard of, I feel so dumb. But then guess what,
you just look them up and then I'm ready to
go the next day and I'm posting I can't believe

(26:02):
she was taken from us so soon at.

Speaker 1 (26:04):
Ninety eight years young, ninety you'res young, rest and power,
Rest and power. But yeah, I fully agree. I think, Yeah,
it's a lifelong it's a lifelong journey. It's a lifelong journey.

Speaker 2 (26:16):
And I actually just think, like, how exciting that you're
four years into being out and you have this great
boyfriend that you like and you know you're listening to
Stradio Lab. I mean that is more than so many
people can say for themselves. I know you're doing the
work and you have a beautiful, sexy voice, and I
stand by.

Speaker 1 (26:32):
That that sounds LGBTQ plus that's right positive.

Speaker 2 (26:37):
All right, next call, Okay, I will say this person
A called on Christmas Eve B had the same He
has the same area code that I did when I
lived in New Jersey. So shout out from one Jersey
girl to another. Mama, thanks for calling in.

Speaker 6 (26:54):
Hi George and Sam.

Speaker 7 (26:55):
This is like kind of creepy and weird, and I
was like, I don't know if I should send this message,
but here I am.

Speaker 1 (27:00):
I was out to dinner and lo and behold.

Speaker 7 (27:03):
I sat next to the one and only Sam Tiger
because it was one of those restaurants that was really
really you know, close quartersy in Brooklyn, and I knew
you were there, and I didn't want to be weird
and say I love the podcast that I wanted to
call and say I love the podcast. And also is
it weird to say.

Speaker 3 (27:22):
Hey, I liked the podcast and I laughed weekly too,
or was I correct and not saying anything.

Speaker 7 (27:31):
I can't decide truly if it's straight or.

Speaker 6 (27:33):
Gay to choose one way or the other.

Speaker 7 (27:35):
So I'd appreciate your input.

Speaker 2 (27:37):
By Sam, Do you have any recollection of what this
could have been? It was in New York, so it
was when you were visiting New York.

Speaker 1 (27:43):
I think it was at Ops Pizza pizza place. Yeah,
if I had to guess.

Speaker 2 (27:50):
Did you notice someone sort of shaking and looking and
sneaking looks at you and and you know, sweating and
sort of tearing up and trying to make this decision?

Speaker 1 (28:00):
No, I didn't notice. And in fact, you know, whenever
I'm at Ops or a similar bush Lack based arresta rand,
I sort of look around with an expectation of so
does anyone know who I am? Or or have I
completely lost touch with everyone? And yeah, go ahead, go ahead,
Like there are days if I'm at like say the

(28:22):
x Lee, and no one comes up to me and says,
I like the podcast, I go, I guess I'm dead.
I guess no one. I guess no one cares about
me and I am dead so to this caller always
at this stage in our lives come up and say hello,
I we are simply not famous enough to have that
be an issue. And it is still at a point

(28:43):
where it is so so so tasteful, and.

Speaker 2 (28:45):
I want to echo that and say it genuinely. Is
it genuinely?

Speaker 1 (28:52):
Is positive? Every time?

Speaker 2 (28:54):
I feel like it's very rare that you know, it's
someone that's like weird and I'm like, oh God, now
I have to deal with this person. It's actually very
nice to see that the people who listen are cool,
and I'm like, damn, you're like, are rocking that little
outfit and you're out and about and you are you
are going to go into that vintage store and you
are going to come out with, you know, a pair
of Levi's five O fives that actually figure perfectly because

(29:18):
you know, you're one of those people that know how
to shop vintage denim and can say is this from
eighty seven or ninety one?

Speaker 1 (29:25):
Couldn't be me? But I respect you, and you know
specifically come to us. If we're with friends family, I
find that they will respect us more afterwards, and it
sort of proves our egos after that.

Speaker 2 (29:42):
Yeah, and you know, we have so many experiences not
to get vulnerable that actually bring us down a notch
on a day to day basis, just by virtue of
you know, the people were surrounded by so we it
always is welcome to you just get a little pang
of recognition. I'll tell you an example of something I'm

(30:03):
talking about at the very party I was just talking
about last night. I see someone I know coming out
of this out of this venue, and I think she's
waving at me. I do a little wave Bee lines
right past.

Speaker 1 (30:15):
Me to Ella m Hoff. Oh. So that's what we're
dealing with on a daily basis, folks. Folks, that is
really funny. So yeah, if you see me at ops,
you better fucking say hello. You gotta come up and
say fucking him. Yeah yeah, okay, wait, let's do should

(30:37):
we do the next one? Yeah? Okay, hiy, Sam and George.

Speaker 6 (30:40):
I just listen to your ins and outs for twenty
twenty five episode. And I completely agree with what you
said about tomorrow based cocktails. I one day wanted a
Chinar Sprits Ginar tomorrow, but I didn't have any prosecco
or campaign, so I just used some lemon Tello Lacroix,

(31:03):
and it was spectacular. It is great if you don't
want to have anything particularly strong. It's essentially just watered
down tomorrow. We cannot recommend it enough. I also think
Chinar is a particularly gay tomorrow, and I would be
interested to hear the two of you rank various tomorrows

(31:25):
by gayness too straightness.

Speaker 3 (31:29):
That's all.

Speaker 1 (31:30):
So I have a huge surprise about this call.

Speaker 2 (31:35):
Okay, that I texted our dear friend Alison Roman, and
I said, you know, Alison, I know you just gave
birth two months ago and are in fact the mother
of an infant, but you have to drop everything, including
your child, to answer this.

Speaker 1 (31:49):
Question from our dear caller.

Speaker 2 (31:51):
And so I asked her to sort of kind of
off the top of her head, tell me which Amari
she thinks are gay and which one she straight, and
so well, I can post her texts. We can post
her texts on Instagram. But some highlights. She says Montenegro
is straight. She says Facia Bruto is bisexual but gay,

(32:12):
which is actually very wise and I completely agree with.
She sent me a link for Amaro Nonino.

Speaker 1 (32:20):
Have you ever had that look up? The bottle.

Speaker 2 (32:23):
She basically she was like, this one's gay, and I
completely agree. It is so stunning, and I it's to
have that in your in your home bar. I mean,
you are hosting You're not even hosting an OSCARS party
because that's too conventional. You're hosting a Critics Choice Awards
viewing party. And then I asked her, you know, to me,

(32:44):
three of the main kind of like basic ones that
you see everywhere are Jennar, Averna, and Fernette. And I
was like, all right, let's rank those gata straight and
she said, from gata straight Chenar, Averona Fernett, which goes
along with what this caller is saying that.

Speaker 1 (32:59):
Chennar sort of gay.

Speaker 2 (33:01):
I do think of Aaron is kind of down the middle,
and Fournett is to me very like straight bartender after
his shift, you know, with with the boys.

Speaker 1 (33:11):
Yeah, it's very like forty five year old like former
punk band who now like owns the bar totally.

Speaker 2 (33:18):
And it's also like adjacent to Williamsburg two thousand and
eight era unicyclen up.

Speaker 1 (33:29):
Yeah, that's really funny. Do you have any thoughts on Amari?

Speaker 8 (33:34):
No?

Speaker 1 (33:34):
I agree, I think Shanar, I think you know the
way that it is difficult to pronounce. You know, many
many people have their own way of saying it. That's
obviously one of the gayest elements. First, it's the love
of Amari exactly. I went through a big Shannar phase

(33:55):
because I was I had convinced myself that this was
like five years ago when I hadn't figured out what
was going on inside of my body, where I was
like certain alcohols really upset my stomach, and then that one,
I was like, this one is? This one works? So
I was having like that with tequila and was that good.
It was so good, it was sort of like a

(34:16):
it was almost like a tequila Manhattan or something. I know.
I find that they really add a.

Speaker 2 (34:23):
Sophistic like an elevated fountain drink element to whatever cocktail
you're having, which is sometimes exactly what I want.

Speaker 1 (34:30):
Yeah, basically h And I want to give.

Speaker 2 (34:33):
A shout out to you know, I've been I'm sticking
with our prediction that Amara based cocktails are in for
twenty twenty five, and I've been ordering them left and
right at restaurants.

Speaker 1 (34:41):
Really.

Speaker 2 (34:41):
I recently had a very good one at Eel Bar
in New York, so if you're in if you're in Manhattan,
check it out huge.

Speaker 1 (34:50):
Okay, oh okay, this is a good one.

Speaker 6 (34:54):
Hi, Samon George. This is Zach calling from our nation's.

Speaker 3 (34:58):
Capital, Washington, DC.

Speaker 6 (35:00):
My question is where are the gayest and straightest places.

Speaker 9 (35:08):
On your body to get a tattoo?

Speaker 1 (35:11):
You?

Speaker 2 (35:12):
I want to say the second Zach, we've had this
round and also usually are we have a pretty balanced gender.
We have a pretty like good gender balance and calls.
But this time specifically, it's a lot of gay guys.

Speaker 1 (35:27):
I mean they took three eight five, three eight five.
Is that our number? Three eight five gay guys? They
took three eight five gay guys? Quite literally? Yeah, it's
like that doesn't mean you can only call if you're
a gay guy. Anyone can call you guys. So the
gayest parts or straightest parts to get a tattoo on
your body? This is complex because okay, here's one that
I think goes in the gay category. Yeah, I think

(35:50):
upper thigh one because I see a lot of gay
guys do this and then where their little short shorts
that you can see the tattoos still, Yeah, and I
find that to be fun. I actually like that placement
I'm like the lower back tattoo, I want to know
where you think it stands these days.

Speaker 2 (36:10):
Okay, so my first thought just off the top of
my head about this question is the more conventional placements
are the more straight, and the less conventional ones are
the more game. So straight is like it is are
like upper arm where someone would have like a big
cross like that is straight. Lower back tattoo, classic sort

(36:31):
of woman on spring break. You know she's having the
time of her life and she's getting a frozen mark
like that is straight. I think chest, like a lion
on your chest, is straight, like like I chest, upper arm,
lower back. You know, it's very straight to me. Ankle
like ankle is to me kind of like a mom

(36:54):
from Colorado that is one Facebook post away from being
anti vacs, but she loves the outdoors and she sort
of you know, she'll like call her husband a pussy.

Speaker 1 (37:09):
Wrist to me is also very straight in that same category,
wrist is very straight.

Speaker 2 (37:13):
And also anything like anywhere you could imagine an infinity
symbol going yeah wow. So then I completely agree with
you about the leg placement. I think similarly to that,
something that's like in the lower arm, like right below
the elbow and.

Speaker 1 (37:30):
Off center or something is very gay.

Speaker 2 (37:33):
It's very like, you know, it's sort of on the
continuum of graphic designer architect, you know, kind of that
you know, yes, you're mixing art and commerce, but you're
doing it tastefully.

Speaker 1 (37:49):
Here's one. I think belly tattoos are back, yes, like
in a big way, like Cisco style, yeah, or like
and I think and I'm specifically seeing like bears get
them mmmm in a way that I think is a
cool look. Yeah. And and I do think it's because
I'm not seeing like straight guys with abs do it.

(38:12):
I'm seeing like gay bears have them in a way
that I'm like, well, that's so I'm counting that when
it's gay now too belly like over the belly button. Yeah,
like sort of like the Tupac thing. Oh I see, see,
I see.

Speaker 2 (38:24):
Okay, I was of course imagining Cisco's thing that goes
around his belly button.

Speaker 1 (38:29):
Oh no, no, I was thinking, okay, yeah, like the Tupac.

Speaker 2 (38:34):
Like yeah, yeah, which is also I mean this is different,
but like Rihanna underboob tattoo.

Speaker 1 (38:42):
Yeah, that is gay. Yes, I think that. I think
I think that counts as gay.

Speaker 2 (38:47):
I think if it was someone other than Rihanna that
had popularized that, it could have gone into the straight direction.
But I think she has enough of a cool factor
that it may that it remains slightly off kilter.

Speaker 1 (38:58):
Hot hot take. I think face tattoos are straight.

Speaker 2 (39:01):
One face tattoos are I mean, I keep wanting to
say Benson Boone, but that's someone different. But like, you
know exactly what I'm talking about when I say Benson Boone.

Speaker 1 (39:10):
They are.

Speaker 2 (39:10):
Face tattoos are like the thing that someone named Benson
Boone would have.

Speaker 1 (39:15):
Yeah, you're thinking, you have like post malone, post malone,
and who's that like little swimmer, Like what was that
swim swimming Teddy swims or something?

Speaker 2 (39:23):
Teddy swims. We want tattoos, I would say, are also straight. Yeah,
but here's the twist. Neck tattoos are also lesbian.

Speaker 1 (39:32):
Hmmm.

Speaker 2 (39:34):
I think there's a you know there are a little
bit hey MoMA lesbian. Uh you know, big baseball.

Speaker 1 (39:42):
Cap straight rim Yeah.

Speaker 2 (39:45):
Yeah, yeah, it's like her name is Lauren, but not
in like a chica, not in like a we're going
a brunch away and I will knife you way.

Speaker 1 (39:55):
Yeah I see that. Oh, while we're on the topic
of lesbians. Can I divert from this? I think we
covered the tattoos. We can I say one more thing? Yeah, rib, rib,
gay or straight?

Speaker 2 (40:08):
That Actually I think like rib, you know, under your armpit.
I almost think that is the most down the middle,
that is the most bisexual, because I think it really
it depends on the vibe of the person who has it.

Speaker 1 (40:21):
And it's almost like rib is the arm of gay.

Speaker 2 (40:27):
It's like a RIB tattoo is like either a straight
person trying to be alt or a gay person trying
to be tasteful.

Speaker 1 (40:34):
Yeah, and all of these it's just like they will
all be gay if they're sticking poke, you know.

Speaker 2 (40:39):
Yes, I want to talk about I want to talk
about our backlash.

Speaker 1 (40:44):
I want to talk about our clip. We posted a
clip in which we were talking discussing lesbians and saying
and they love mask and film.

Speaker 2 (40:52):
Yes, the butcher and femme dichotomy in lesbian and other
queer communities.

Speaker 1 (40:58):
And then we said we need to have a summit
to talk to the lesbians about this. And so, in
sort of classic online fashion, we're getting like random random
people out of the woodwork being like really angry.

Speaker 2 (41:13):
Which I get by the way, and we knew that. Sorry,
but like I knew that would happen, Like we know
it's every.

Speaker 1 (41:18):
One here, Yeah, we know what we're doing here. It
was like an obvious thing, but in a way that
I kind of thought like that style of Internet had passed.
Like I was sort of like, there's so much like
stuff in the world that like, there's no way we're
gonna get random people coming out and being like this
is disgusting, stay in your lane like stuff like that.

Speaker 2 (41:40):
But I actually think the fact that we haven't gotten
more is a sign of what you're saying. Really, I
think so because I think in it. I think in
twenty twenty, that would be like shared in the front
page of the New York Times and it would be
like the chasm between gay men and gay women.

Speaker 1 (42:00):
Yeah, I think like there's a part of me where
you because you chose that clip and I actually thought
it was genius, and I felt like we were like
letting go of the wall of the pool. We were
like actually swimming because we're betting Tetty Swims, We're reading
Teddy Swims. Because we both knew there's going to be
people that take this out of context and are mad,

(42:22):
but it's also like you look at the clip and
everything said is actually deeply inoffensive, and so it's like
and we're.

Speaker 2 (42:28):
Literally saying the entire time, we don't know we want
to talk to lesbians about it.

Speaker 1 (42:33):
Yeah, And so it was just like I was actually
very proud of us for committing. Sure, we're going elon mode.
We're going, we're going, we're getting like, we're not leading
with fear.

Speaker 2 (42:47):
No, we're not leading with here, and I think and
we're also trusting, we're trusting our audience, yeah, which I
actually think. I think being like condescending to your audience
and treating them as chill is much more offensive than
just trusting that they understand context and are open minded
about your flaws and the gaps in your knowledge.

Speaker 1 (43:09):
And we're like just like fine with it. Like the
people being like posting something crazy, it's sort of like
it's weird to look at because you're like, well that's bizarre,
and you like almost want to be like, hey, I
think you're misunderstanding, but then you're like, oh, who cares,
Like whatever.

Speaker 2 (43:24):
You now there's something you know, you see a comment
that grossly misstates what you said or something, and of
course you want to be offended, but you can also
just be like, isn't it beautiful? We're all part of
this giant community and it's such a big tent that
your dumb ass can coexist with me in the common
section of this stupid random video.

Speaker 1 (43:45):
It's really it is interesting the different internets everyone is on. Yeah,
and that was actually like the way that people are
disliking this clip again, we'll make it do better, like
and it's a big question. You know.

Speaker 2 (43:56):
That's what I learned from Chris Hayes's book about the
attend economy. You know, it's it's not about good or bad.
It's just about attention or no attention.

Speaker 1 (44:05):
Yeah, so that was interesting. Yeah. First, the lesson from
Trump is be more like him. I mean, folks, if
you can't beat him.

Speaker 2 (44:16):
All right, Wait, not to be so obsessed with this
tattoo question, but final question finger tattoos a la Ariana Grande,
where do you stand?

Speaker 1 (44:28):
Well, this is where I was almost afraid for this
to be asked, because it's really complex because I think
when women get the like Ariana Grande really dainty ones
that to me is so like straight girl that lives
in La. Well, it's it's a straight girl that has
read the body keeps a score. Yeah, and like, to me,

(44:51):
it's a sign of you know, I'm thinking of like
one specific woman I saw at brunch maybe two months
ago that I actually haven't been able to shake because
she had the little finger tattoos, but everything was so done,
like the makeup was perfect, the hair was perfect, like,
and this is at like eleven am on a Saturday,
And I was like, you're like almost wanting the finger

(45:12):
tattoos to show like I'm not perfect, but everything inside
of you is screaming, please see me as perfect. Seeing
the finger tattoos just adds more perfection. Like I'm like,
that is just you're trying to balance how perfect everything
is and you can't. Like that's too perfect. Also genius,
so I'm But then the knuckle tats also, I go

(45:36):
either way like that because it.

Speaker 2 (45:38):
Could be leather, it could be leather culture. Yeah, yeah,
the eagle, you know, stud exact knuckles.

Speaker 1 (45:46):
And so I'm torn on that because I don't know
many straight guys who like just sincerely do that nowadays. Total.
Maybe that's because I only know with cucks and losers. Yeah,
but I do know gay guys who have it because
of that eagle vibe.

Speaker 2 (46:05):
Yeah, and I also think it's hot totally. I would
say also anything around the collarbone, I think, no matter
the gender, is pretty gay.

Speaker 1 (46:14):
Yeah yeah, all.

Speaker 2 (46:16):
Right, next call Oh now this is this is a
big star of the night.

Speaker 9 (46:22):
Hey, George and Sam. I have a question for what
you would do in.

Speaker 6 (46:27):
A scenario that I have experienced recently.

Speaker 9 (46:30):
So I meet this cute guy on an apt and
he says he wants to come over and have me
use him as a foot rest while I watch TV.
And I was kind of like, that's a new one
for me, but you know, I can oblige easy enough.
But then I was like, well, what do I watch? Like, Like,

(46:53):
I can't.

Speaker 8 (46:53):
Like, I don't know, put on an episode of drag Race,
or maybe maybe I could and we could both watch together,
And I don't know. I was really kind of going
through a spiral trying to think of what would be
appropriate in that scenario. I ended up going with a
hockey game because that felt safe. I don't even follow sports,

(47:17):
and I don't think hitos either, but that just kind
of felt like it was the right of mood. But
I'm curious what you would do in that situation, like
what TV shows or movies do you think would be
good to watch while you're using a stranger from the
internet as a flowrest.

Speaker 9 (47:37):
Let me know what you think.

Speaker 1 (47:38):
Okay, bye, damn. I love that.

Speaker 2 (47:40):
First of all, I'm standing up and I'm giving that
a standing ovation Nicole Scherzinger style at Sunset Boulevard. I'm saying,
you ate that, bitch.

Speaker 1 (47:49):
You ate that bitch. I want to commend you for
your approach to sexuality. I feel like I have a
really similar approach where you know, I've I've been on
record as saying this and I stand by it. I
unfortunately have an improviser's approach to sexuality where if someone
says I want to try this, I'm like, sure, yeah, okay,
I'll try that totally. And I like there are people

(48:11):
that you get hit up by on the apps where
they're like, I want to do this, and you're sort
of like, well, especially when it's like low effort for you,
where it's like, if you're getting a kick out of this,
and I can tell people I get to use someone
as so foot rest, then sure I'll.

Speaker 2 (48:22):
Try it, and I want to commend you for So
that's that's sort of your Sam side is the improviser's
approach to sexuality. I think the George side of this
is hearing that and your thought being not like questioning
the sexual part of it, but questioning what what do
you watch on TV? Like that kind of like neurotic
indecisiveness and then being like paralyzed by that choice so

(48:47):
much so that you sort of like forget what you're
doing this all for is very you know, me sitting
down to write, I really.

Speaker 1 (48:55):
Do see how complicated it is, because I think I'm
a little confused, like do you use him as a
foot rest and then hook up? Or is it just
you use him as a footrist rest and then leave?
Because if you're then hooking up, then I would want
something that's sexy to you as well. Yeah, Like, but yeah,
if you're just like, if you're if the whole goal

(49:17):
is sort of just ignore him, then I think it
could be fun to put on something that even something
that you enjoy that he like actively does not know
anything about totally. I was even thinking it would be
fun to sort of put on like or do something
that he doesn't want to see and don't let him watch,

(49:37):
Like put on like the new episode of Severance and
be like you, but but you have to turn away
from the TV. All I enjoy it? What about this? Okay?

Speaker 2 (49:47):
You do like an exaggerated version of not being able
to decide what you want to watch and you're just
going from Netflix homepage to HBO homepage to Amazon homepage
pricing something and then like get out of their two
minutes in like doing the most annoying possible things someone
could experience secondhand.

Speaker 1 (50:07):
I actually love that. I think that's really torturous.

Speaker 2 (50:09):
I think that could be fun. I think, needless to say,
there's something especially can give about watching like a really
wholesome like family, like truly watching a Christmas story while
you are using someone as if at rest.

Speaker 1 (50:26):
Yeah, that is fun.

Speaker 2 (50:28):
Or along similar lines, watching like a rom com, like
watching Devil Wors you know, Bridge Jones's Diary or something.

Speaker 1 (50:37):
What would you like realistically you're going to do this,
what would you choose? Okay, let's see, because I think,
unfortunately for me, I would choose something sort of inoffensive,
like I do think I would watch like Honestly Survivor,
like something that I can check in on or can
check out of. And yeah, I think I would watch

(50:58):
something like a little innocuous like that.

Speaker 2 (51:00):
I have to say, I think in theory that is
the right thing to do, and I actually think that's
what this person would want. I would sort of not
be able to resist the temptation to watch something gay
and just sort of like add another layer of kind
of confusion to the whole thing, Like just watch something
that I know has a very intense sex seed and

(51:22):
just be like, let's see where this goes.

Speaker 1 (51:23):
Sure, that's fun.

Speaker 2 (51:25):
I don't know why, but I keep wanting to say
Michael Clayton or like a legal thriller. Yeah, because because
you know what it is is Okay, here's what I
think is drawing me to it. You want something that
gets your heart rate up and has tension, but not
in a sexual away because that would be too obvious.

(51:46):
Like it's actually sort of amateurish to press play on
like literal porn. But what if you press play on
Run Lola run, you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 (51:57):
Yeah? Or the born identity, Well, I'd love to do
a rewatch. Of course. I do think the hockey game
is a smart choice. Yeah, no, I get, but but
then it's also like a little too performative. If you
don't even really care, well that's the thing.

Speaker 2 (52:10):
If you don't care, then you're basically sitting there being like,
oh my god, I can't believe I'm using him as
a put rest.

Speaker 1 (52:13):
I can't believe you're a put rest. You do you
actually want to watch?

Speaker 2 (52:17):
Yeah? Right, exactly? Okay, Wow, this is interesting. I also
I sort of want to know like how this night
turned out.

Speaker 1 (52:25):
I mean, all media in and sex are confusing. This
is something I think about a lot with Like I
don't know, like if if you're like hanging out with
people who are like potential sexual partners and you're like,
you know, hanging out playing music, it's like normal, and
then you're like, okay, let's go to the bedroom, and

(52:46):
then there's no music, and it's sort of like, oh well,
this now feels like very like let's get it done,
and it's like, well, you want that like hang out
vibe still. But then if you're like very purposely putting
on music in the bedroom, it's a little like, well,
you're a pervert, Like don't like why would you stop
and think about what music to play? And then and
then like had to have a sex play Like the

(53:07):
topic taste of sex music is.

Speaker 2 (53:10):
One of the most confusing areas. I would say, yeah,
you literally can't. It's so difficult to find the happy medium.
We're on the one hand, you're trying so hard if
you're putting on Shot Day Total whatever. But then on
the other side, you're not going to put on Vampire Weekend,
But like, what is it?

Speaker 1 (53:29):
And I genuinely don't know. I mean it's like even
something like Joni Mitchell is like, whoa, that's what what
are you? What are you doing? You know, it's the
most cliche you know that band rye No is it
our a ye make the do me.

Speaker 2 (53:51):
Our our h y e it is They truly make
by the way, I'm a fan, don't get me wrong,
but they make sex music for straight people who live
in Clinton Hill, Like it is specifically meant to be
played in that context and listen, it does the job,

(54:11):
but it is so obviously for that that it almost
like desexualizes what you're doing. Okay, here's my final thought
on this footrest thing. Regardless of what you watch, here's
what you do after it's over. Ready, literally just get up,
go to your bedroom, close the door as they're just

(54:31):
going to sleep. Come back out, fully nude, just to
turn off the light in the living room. Go back
into your room.

Speaker 1 (54:43):
He's in the dark.

Speaker 2 (54:44):
He's literally on his hands and knees in the dark,
and you are asleep. He's fully humiliated, and he now
is to pick himself up in the dark and leave
your apartment.

Speaker 1 (54:55):
Wow, you're good at this. Thank you.

Speaker 10 (55:03):
I have Sam and George. I have a question that
I really need your help with. Need some scientific inquiry here.
What the fuck is going on with wrestling? Not the
professional wrestling with like you know John Cena, but like
the college high school wrestling. It is so so homosexual

(55:26):
and yet you know non self aware Midwestern dads who
their favorite activity is mowing their lawns. They go crazy
for it, So, like, what's going on there? I think
we need a FULLS radio lab investigation. I know you
guys have kind of covered covered it a little bit
on like I think the Contact Sports episode, and that
was helpful. But I think maybe Sam needs to go

(55:47):
undercover and join a wrestling team. I think maybe George
needs to do like a full you know, spotlight style research.
I think maybe you guys should do, like do a
commentary on a wrestling broadcast.

Speaker 3 (56:00):
I don't know.

Speaker 10 (56:00):
I just think I think we need we need to
know what's going on. I need to understand it's it's
like it transcends straightness and gayness in a way that
maybe will heal the world or maybe we'll destroy it.
I don't know, but just wanted to get you guys' boss,
love you bye.

Speaker 1 (56:16):
Uh uh. This is like the way that I'm just
simply too biased to actually engage with this is it
makes it journalistically impossible because I'm like, it just is
too sexual to me. It is too sexual, it is
too hot. It is like the wrestling teacher, the wrestling

(56:37):
coach at my you know, middle school, high school, the
way that I wanted to have sex with them so bad,
Like every I remember wanting to join the wrestling team,
and I'm being like, no, you don't. And ultimately she
was right, but I did. I was just like I think,
and I didn't even know how to label it. I
didn't know. I was like, oh, I'm just horny and

(56:57):
acting crazy. But I was like, I was fully just
like I'm horney and want to join the wrestling team.
And it is deeply, deeply, deeply confusing, And I agree,
I don't know what the deal is with Midwestern dads
that love it, but I wish like it's almost like
I'm jealous that they're able to engage with it in
a non sexual way because I cannot.

Speaker 2 (57:17):
Yeah, it's funny that you wanted to join, because I
had the opposite reaction, where because it was so clearly sexual,
I was like, well, I'm going to get a boner,
like and I can't be just like not that anyone
was begging for me to join the wrestling team, by
the way, but it like I could never be expected
to be just like being touched by a man while
like cupping his butt and then not and what am

(57:39):
I gonna do?

Speaker 1 (57:40):
You're literally like miming fucking for like the whole time.

Speaker 2 (57:44):
But I almost think this topic, I almost think high
school and college wrestling is like.

Speaker 1 (57:50):
The topic that breaks the stradio lab.

Speaker 2 (57:53):
Model, Like there is actually something about it that is
it's not exactly the exception and that proves the rule,
But it's like that it's it is so perfectly down
the middle and emblematic of all the things we talk
about about, how like something is so straight that it
circles back around to being gay about how being homerootic

(58:13):
is actually like straight sometimes because it's like an expression
of masculinity. It's like it's father son relationships. It's high
school sports. It is like men weeighing themselves. It's little
leotards and like color coded outfit. Like there, it's I

(58:35):
can't even begin to process how I would like rank
it as gay or straight or put it in conversation.

Speaker 1 (58:42):
With other topics that we've had, which is why I
think we've done.

Speaker 2 (58:45):
We've done UFC fighting, which is different, like I could
easily talk about like pro wrestling. I could talk about
like boxing, but there is something about that kind of
wrestling that kind of breaks the brain.

Speaker 1 (59:01):
It really does. And I honestly wonder how you know.
Wrestling as a sport, as a as a college and
high school sport made so much more sense when people
were closeted, when people had to be closeted, because it
was sort of like, well, why would this ever be attractive?
And now that it's like, well obviously this is attractive
to some, it's like it's like this doesn't make sense anymore,

(59:24):
Like like I'm thinking of the duke wrestling Instagram knows
people find it hot they like post videos of the
wrestlers like wrestling and then like stand and you're like
you can see their bulges, you can see like how
hot and horny it all is, and they like are
leaning into it a little bit, or at least the

(59:46):
social media manager is, and we were I'm like, I
don't know if this is right either, Like it's don't
get me wrong, it's hot, but I'm like, this is crazy.
This is just like these are just athletes.

Speaker 2 (59:55):
Yeah, yeah, why are you posting Why are you posting
them with the caption like who's got cakes today?

Speaker 1 (01:00:02):
Yeah? Yeah, But I've like genuinely lost myself on an
Instagram account for like fifteen minutes because I was like, damn,
this is so hot. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:00:12):
I mean, I will say the sort of tragedy of
someone being a real athlete, like being genuinely training to
be good at something and giving it they're all and
doing it out of a pure love of the sport
and out of a desire to win, and not being
able to escape how porny they look is like definitionally camp,

(01:00:35):
you know what I mean, Like there is something that's
like that is that where you cannot exist outside of
the sexual implications of the performance.

Speaker 1 (01:00:47):
You know what this reminds me of. Actually, it's Jalynovak's
sex potatoes joke where she's talking about like being a
woman having a woman's body, and like just it's like
you're constantly walking around with a bag of sex potatatoes
and everyone's always like, ooh, sex potatoes for sale and
she's like, no, I'm just walking around and she like
can't take off the sex potatoes. Yeah, And that's how wrestler. Like,

(01:01:10):
wrestlers are just trying to wrestle, and they keep people
keep trying to buy their sex potatoes and they can't.
They can't get rid of it. No, they can't get
rid of them.

Speaker 2 (01:01:18):
Although I mean it's then it's like, actually, when you're
there and it's just straight people and fathers, no one
is addressing the sex potatoes. They actually are all living
in a bubble where there is no No one is
thinking like isn't this camp? No one is thinking like,
isn't it.

Speaker 1 (01:01:35):
Weird that he just like touched his like pulled his testicle. Yeah,
isn't it weird that he just mounted him? Yeah? I yeah,
I mean wrestling in particular because other sports have like
variations of nudity, variations of swimming. I'm swimming for carrying
out loud, but they're not fucking rubbing each other. They're

(01:01:57):
not dominating one another, like it's literally.

Speaker 2 (01:02:00):
And water polo, for example, is gay, Like it's like
you are you there? It's very like silly to be
like splashing around and then put, you know, drag down
someone's bathing suit and you can like briefly see their ass,
Like that is that silly? Whereas wrestling there's also something
about wrestling that just reminds me of like there's something

(01:02:23):
quint essentially Uh not sad, that's not what I want
to say, but like it's very like the dad was
a wrestler himself but then got an injury, Like it's
very mickey your work in the wrestler. There's something so
where you just like all of them are underdogs, no
matter if you're winning, Like all of them are underdogs
and you want to see them succeed. And I actually,
even saying all of this, I feel bad making fun

(01:02:44):
of wrestling because I'm like.

Speaker 1 (01:02:46):
Those men are doing their best. This is all they got. No,
you're so right the moment you decided to become a wrestler.

Speaker 2 (01:02:53):
You are an underdog, Yes, exactly the moment you're to
say you're an underdog. Your mom has curly bangs and
she's trying to feed for seven children.

Speaker 1 (01:03:01):
I'm thinking about the people that were did wrestling in
high school, and they were all underdogs. Like it's like
a certain level of like sort of athletics, sort of nerdy. Yes, like, yeah,
that is really interesting.

Speaker 2 (01:03:14):
Even though it's such a show of strength. You're not
the you're not the quarterback, you're not homecoming king. You're
kind of like weird and good at math.

Speaker 1 (01:03:23):
Yeah, wrestling is very you're good at math. Fuck fuck.

Speaker 2 (01:03:28):
But again, all of this is further proof that it's
like break like it's so we found the one thing
that is un analyzable, like we cannot use our critical
thinking skills to crack.

Speaker 1 (01:03:39):
It, and also not to you know, the Greek the
Greek roots of course, of course, and being like fully
naked and like oiled up, yes.

Speaker 2 (01:03:48):
Which of course makes it both right wing coded in
one sense in the sense of like let's get back
to men being men, you know, et cetera.

Speaker 1 (01:04:01):
But then also is.

Speaker 2 (01:04:02):
Like you know, utopian, back to Earth. On the other
side of things, so it can even be read as
like progressive.

Speaker 1 (01:04:13):
In some way, it is like impossible to comprehend, you know,
you know there's like gay rugby leagues and gay hockey leagues.
I can't believe there's not a gay wrestling league. But
I was thinking about this.

Speaker 2 (01:04:24):
Is I yes, I thought about this, and then I
and then I forgot that I wanted to make the point.
But that's another example of how complicated it is. It
is the one sport, even though it's on paper the
gayest thing you can possibly do is like simulate sex
with your friends. It is the one thing that doesn't
have gay leagues. And of course don't write to us.
I'm sure we're sure it does. But they're not as

(01:04:46):
popular as the gay rugby and gay dodged ball. And
I actually think, of course the reason is because it's too.

Speaker 1 (01:04:50):
Close to sex. Well, of course, there's no you can't
pretend you're not having as because you kind of are.

Speaker 2 (01:04:57):
Yeah, and you know they would start having sex right
there on the rink.

Speaker 1 (01:05:01):
God, back to the foot table guy, m I've always
there's always like those guys that are like want to wrestle,
like on scruff and stuff, And I've always been like,
could be kind of exciting, but I also don't have
I don't actually know how to do it. I love
the premise, but I think if they actually know how
to wrestle in a real way, it'll really quickly. Yeah,

(01:05:21):
I don't need to be punched in the face. Yeah,
Like I'm trying to be a protest.

Speaker 2 (01:05:26):
By the way, maybe that's the answer. Is wrestling is
so uh so dense as a text that that's the
best and most like horny and inappropriate thing you could
watch while using someone as a foot rest.

Speaker 1 (01:05:39):
Is like college wrestling.

Speaker 2 (01:05:40):
I'm not going to say high school because I think
that would open up another can of worms, but college wrestling.

Speaker 1 (01:05:46):
I'm all in. I'm all in. Okay, Well, I've never
had to piece about in my whole life. Should be Yeah,
let's wrap it up. Well, I thought this was a
very success full call an episode. I do want to
reiterate that this could be yours for the for the
very low price of five dollars a month, and also

(01:06:09):
generally we're going to do more of these episodes. If
you want to call into three eighty five guys at
any point that you feel and just leave a message
and we'll comment on it basically, and I kind of
like that. We're going to just do it whenever we
feel like it. Yeah, and to the guy who's voice
like called gay, I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 (01:06:31):
We love all the gay guys name Zach that called,
and we invite even people who aren't gay guys named
Zach to call from here on out. Yeah, even though
Zach is trending as a name in my life. I
for a while everyone was named Patrick, and now more
and more people are named Zach.

Speaker 1 (01:06:53):
Huh, just something I've noticed. I can see it for sure. Okay, Well,
this has been an absolute delight. So goodbye. We love you,
we love you. Be safe, be safe, bye bye.

Speaker 11 (01:07:08):
Hi Georgian, Sam, this looks like not for the podcast,
well if it's for you, but no obligation played on
the podcast. But I just wanted to say how much
I loved the show and that it's really become in
an earnest miss Demands a way very meaningful to me,

(01:07:32):
and I want to say thanks for putting it out.
I am like the opposite of you two on, a
twenty five year old who lives in Texas and works
in corporate finance. But I love the show. It cracks
me up. I've gotten a lot of my both friends

(01:07:57):
and my sister hooked on the show. And I have
one friend that in particular really loves to show with me.
Let me listen to it and talk about it together,
and I'm we always debate on who is the Georgian,
who is the Sam, and our friendship that's what I

(01:08:20):
was close together, and I don't know, I knew year
knew me thinking about things and wanted to say thanks
for you know, putting out a great setting show that
has meant a lot to me for the past year
that I've been listening and I'm canching up on the

(01:08:43):
backlog of you know, the years before that I wasn't
listening in real time. So anyway, just want us to
say things and that yeah, I love you both, and
I hope your five is then off to really good starts.

Speaker 3 (01:09:06):
And yeah, okay, bye.

Speaker 1 (01:09:09):
Bye podcast And now want more? Subscribe to our Patreon
for two extra episodes a month, discord access and more
by heading to patreon dot com. Slash Stradio Lab, and
for all our visual earners, free full length video episodes
are available on our YouTube now get back to work.
Stradio Lab is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money

(01:09:30):
Players Network and iHeart Podcasts created and hosted by George
Severs and Sam Taggart. Executive produced by Will Ferrell, Hans
Soni and Olivia Aguilar. Co produced by Bei Wang, edited
and engineered by Adam Avalos. Artwork by Michael Failes and
Matt Gruff. Same music by Ben Kling