From Jackass and Viva La Bam to Recovery Advocate: the Brandon Novak Story

This week on the Studio 22 Podcast, Brock and Will sit down with professional skateboarder, writer, and recovery advocate Brandon Novak. Known for his appearances on Viva La Bam and in the Jackass films, Brandon opens up about his incredible journey from addiction to recovery. He recalls the pivotal moment during his Viva La Bam days when he was given an ultimatum: write a book or face the streets. 

In this heartfelt episode, Brandon shares his experiences of finally getting sober after years of living hard. He talks about how his fist job after getting sober gave him the skills to be a successful person in recovery. Today, he owns sever treatment facilities helping people get sober. 

You can learn more at

https://brandonnovak.com/

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:05):
You're listening to Studio twenty two.

Speaker 2 (00:08):
I think more people could benefit from creative writing, just
in any form, even if they don't publish or for
show anyone, you know, just.

Speaker 3 (00:15):
Some kind of outlet. Yeah, we're you doing like pen
to paper or was it? Kind of dude?

Speaker 4 (00:21):
I love that, bro, That's the only way I work,
Like I can pawn laptops. But I never like skipped
that era. I went from like skating my whole life
to at the end of sixteen full blown Heroin addicts.
So I skipped that era of like school and learning
how to like type. So even till today, I don't email.
I got my first ever laptop during the beginning of

(00:43):
COVID Wow, and I used it maybe six times and
have since given it away. And if I have a
long I prefer to talk. It's a gratification. We get
right to the point.

Speaker 1 (00:53):
Absolutely.

Speaker 4 (00:54):
But if I have a long thing to type out,
I pen and paper it, I take a picture and
then I'll just text it to you.

Speaker 1 (01:00):
That's awesome, amazing.

Speaker 4 (01:02):
People look at me like, how the funk have you
made it this far, and like that's admirable.

Speaker 3 (01:07):
Yeah, I'm jealous. It's It's different though, too, man. You
I just feel more connected when I'm writing pen to paper,
and then my memory is better with what I'm writing,
and it's I don't know, it's a different feeling.

Speaker 4 (01:18):
Yeah, it is. I'm also a reader, like I like books,
physical books. I don't like, you know, I like the
physical act of holding a book, cracking it.

Speaker 5 (01:28):
Reading sci fi.

Speaker 4 (01:29):
No, it's just not my deal. I respect it. I
think it's really entertaining, but it's like, just don't.

Speaker 5 (01:38):
Get into it.

Speaker 4 (01:38):
Yeah. I like autobiographies. I like the real like generally
about drugs and drug addicts. People who have struggled love it.

Speaker 5 (01:49):
That's one of my favorite books.

Speaker 4 (01:50):
He dedicated his book, that book Scar Tissue, to Bill Wilson,
which is the founder of Alcoholics Anonymous, So no one
would really know that. But it's like, and I didn't
realize it until after I read it later, once I
got sober, I looked at it and I'm like, they're just
dedicated to build w and in our world. That's like, yeah,
it's like God to a holy goer.

Speaker 1 (02:11):
Right, that's awesome, dude.

Speaker 3 (02:14):
So what are what are some of your because I
like I like the self help books. I like the
ones that helped me grow as a person totally. I
grew up in a lot of like struggle with my
family too, and kind of figuring shit out and kind
of learning how to unfuck myself, I guess, basically, sure,
And so I've always gravitated towards that. But hearing your story,
and there's a lot of addiction in my family as well,
and I've I've been witnessed to a lot of it.

(02:34):
Never went down that path myself but for my own reasons,
but I've been around it my whole life, you know,
So hearing what you're into. It's also something that's exciting
for me because I can like pass it on to
my family, you know, and friends as well.

Speaker 1 (02:47):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (02:47):
Absolutely, And that's kind of the way I believe it's
passed along, you know, through through people that do it
in a way that makes it, like, you know, attractive enough, yeah,
to make others believe like, hey, maybe that is worth
giving it a go. And that happened to me by

(03:09):
virtue of a book A Million Little Pieces James Fray
Familiar Bell. He wrote when he wrote A Million Little Pieces,
it was like a fucking blockbuster, like killing and he
made it on Oprah's Book Club, and he went on
Oprah's Book Club, did the deal. She's praising the book.

(03:31):
And then a little bit later down the road, I
guess there were some discrepancies within his book that people
were saying were fraudulent, and then he had to go
back on Oprah and she called him. It was this
really fucked up, convoluted thing. But nonetheless, that book was
given to me by a dear friend of mine, Ryan Kingman.

(03:55):
Kingman was the team captain of Element Skateboards, so when
he yeah, totally so when he was a tming Element
and all the skaters we'd be on tour skating acting crazy,
and he passed me this book and again anything with
drugs and just derelics and discred you know, just that

(04:16):
world I'm into. And I got into the book and
I loved it, and I then later decided that I
was going to write a book, and I had I
didn't even decide. It was kind of an ultimatum given
to me by BAM in order to live in his
house and continue to be on vi able of BAM,
we would like go out to a bar after we
were filming, to eat like the cast and the crew, right,

(04:38):
and you know what that kind of looks like. And
we're at a big pub and there's a table of
like thirty to fifty people in a pub eating and
you know, talking shit, and he would like, tell this story,
tell that story. I start to to recount a story
and you could hear a pin drop and he's like, dude,
you got to write a book.

Speaker 1 (04:59):
No.

Speaker 4 (05:00):
To this point, I hadn't graduated high school. I was
expelled in the eleventh grade as a direct result of
my addiction. My resume to that point read you know,
multiple impatient treatment centers, homeless heroin addicts living on the
streets of Baltimore. Bam kind of threw me this golden
ticket and pulled me out. And I'm now living with him,
and he's allowing me to be to be on MTV,

(05:23):
to be un Vivla Maam, and you know, getting paychecks
through Viacom, And you know, I can live in his house,
I can have a credit card, I can drive a car.
I just I can't do heroin or any opiates. I
can do like blow and drink. Oh wow, because that's
like socially acceptable, rightfully, So like if you don't understand that, yeah,

(05:43):
it just kind of makes sense, and he had no
idea what addiction look like.

Speaker 5 (05:47):
How does that work though?

Speaker 2 (05:48):
With the come down from blow, you know, like xanax
and opiates and stuff can really help with like that,
right if you cut off.

Speaker 4 (05:58):
Yeah, it was a fucking nightmare. Yeah, say the least
I hated it. I loved it because I was an
addict and I just always lived to kind of escape
my reality something. Yeah, anything's better than nothing at the
right point, to take me outside of myself, which was
the whole point of me continuing to use any kind
of mind or mood altering substance was to relieve me

(06:19):
from bondeds of self and having to look at myself. Right,
That's what I avoided at all costs. So, you know,
blow and alcohol was socially acceptable. I didn't fall asleep
in mid conversation on them. I didn't steal your wallet.
I didn't total your car overdose in the process. So

(06:41):
so he's like, Okay, new rules. You're going to write
a book. Here's a notebook and a pen. You're to
carry this with you all the time. I don't even
give a fuck if you're not writing the first time.
I don't see this in your hand you're going back
to Baltimore. So the scales of justice were very easy
to weigh out there. Do I go back to being

(07:02):
homeless eating out of trash cans in Baltimore or do
I carry around this fucking notebook and possibly scratch out
a goddamn book. So then I remembered that James Fray
a Million Little Pieces book that I was a big
fan of, and I pulled it out and I looked
at the outline and it was written in twelve chapters.
So I'm like, Okay, I'll write this in twelve chapters.

(07:24):
And the outline of his book started with his last
day of using in a gnom experience of him coming
to on a flight to Minneapolis and his teeth are
knocked out. And that's how I like books to start.
So then I start writing this book, and my book
starts out with my last day of using at a

(07:45):
time way before I got sober, and I did something
I swore that I would never do. And I used
to make fun of the guys that did it because
I grew up in Baltimore City and there was this
one particular corner where we would see like homosexual guy
standing on the corner too in their bodies, and you know,
just being a young, ignorant, naive, skater kid, we talk
shit to everybody and passed by them, and we talked

(08:07):
shit to them as well. And you know the world
has a way of right sizing people, or at least me,
you know, and teaching me humility. And way later down
the road, I was, I was caught between a rock
and a hard spot. And I had stolen this furniture
one day and no one would buy it. It's like
ten thirty at night, and I'm lugging around this cast
iron shit and I'm at that corner and this car

(08:29):
pulls up and he beeps the horn and he asks
how much for the furniture, and I'm like, you know,
eighty bucks. I don't want the furniture, but I have
eighty bucks. And I became that guy that I used
to make fun of as a kid, and I, you know,
it's total transactional. I traded a sexual act for the
money to get the heroin and that so my book

(08:50):
started like that. And then I get in the rehab,
but so I pen the paper. I write twelve chapters
while we're filming. You guys are kind of in the industry.
They have heard of a fell about the name of
Joe Franz who made the c k Y videos. He
was the guy that filmed all those and then went
on a film Vivla Bam and Jackass stuff.

Speaker 2 (09:11):
He was such a big fan of everything you guys
did in that whole world and that old crew, which is.

Speaker 4 (09:17):
Why you have a therapist today.

Speaker 5 (09:21):
The world industries here.

Speaker 3 (09:23):
Yeah, and totally my friends actually did that one.

Speaker 2 (09:28):
But yeah, no, it's I think, like hearing everything is
super powerful and inspirational too, coming from people you know,
you revere in respect and and all that. So I
think it's a very amazing thing you guys are doing
by being so open about it and sharing your stories.

Speaker 5 (09:44):
You know.

Speaker 4 (09:44):
Yeah, I mean that's kind of you know, timing and
alignment just kind of met at the perfect opportunity where
we were just some young vulnerable kids and stumbled across
the video camera and bam just totally cap blized off
that and filmed everything. And so we you know, from
a young age being skaters and just kind of defiant

(10:06):
and didn't care and did anything for a laugh and
just happened to have a camera. So it allowed us
to be very again transparent and that carried on over ye.
So I write these twelve chapters and then I'm still
in Hell. I'm drinking like crazy, I'm doing blow. The
only reason why I got hired to be on Viva
La Bam is because they had already had the cast

(10:31):
right like, they had already had the cast set, and
then Bam offers me this invite out of Baltimore, and
I'm like this weird homeless kid who was on Heroin
in Baltimore that no one really knew. But Bam and
I were like best friends at one point prior to this,
just from skateboarding, but you know, done rab Deco, Rake.
They didn't really know me, like I was BAM's guy.

(10:53):
And then one day I just show up on set
and I'm like this weird guy that doesn't really fit
the mold of what they have going on. But BAM's
totally like he's gonna live with me. And there was
some like reluctance to to I guess bring me into
the inner circle, which was cool. I totally get that.
As time goes on, I kind of start to find
my rhythm and in my own way, and and then uh,

(11:16):
and then I'm good. But you know, the the producers,
they don't want to bring another guy on. They already
have like the set crew, and I don't really it's
just weird to them. So but now Bam insists that
I'm in all these shots and and I'm his best
friend and I live with him, so I fitting that
mold of just a a drug addict from Baltimore who

(11:39):
didn't have much going on. Now, Bam kind of caused
me as walking TV and I'm just known for being
like outlandis ridiculous. I'm naked most of the time. I'm
just doing shit that no one wants any part of.
And the producers and two names I'm just thinking and
laughing about, were so fed up with me. They were

(12:00):
so fed up, and finally they couldn't control me because
I wasn't on payroll. I wasn't their employees, so they
couldn't tell me what to do. Bam was my balls,
who let me do anything and loved the craziest shit
I did. He loved more. So finally one day they're like, look, Novac,
come on, we have to talk. I mean, I remember

(12:21):
one scene We're all out back and I'm supposed to
I have like these these jeans on, but the the
s and the crotch are cut out, and I'm underwear
on and I had these biker boots on and I
have a They cut my hair so it's like just
the top part of skin ball but all like long,
one length, and I'm supposed to walk out and serve

(12:43):
them lemonade on on the deck, but I have a
skateboard that's covering like my And at that point, the
producer she legit quit over the day. So now COM's
calling there and she's like, I have no I never
should ever experience this, and she's like at the top

(13:05):
of the food she absolutely disgusted to say the least,
she leaves. So the next day they come like, all right,
no back. Since we clearly know that we cannot control you,
what we're going to do is we're going to offer
you a job. We're going to put you on payroll,
but then you have to listen to us. So it

(13:25):
was the power, you know, It's a strategic play that worked,
and I'm like fuck yeah. And I went from making
nothing a homeless like heroin Addict and then getting paid
I think it was four or five grand a week
at that point, Like you tell me what to do,
and I'm there you to make sure they fucking behave.
I'm Johnny, I'm doing this for so so real quick,
just to finish that story. I get really off track.

Speaker 1 (13:46):
Sorry.

Speaker 4 (13:48):
Then after I give this the band, like a year later,
I'm like, yo, I think I'm done this book. Because
I always write.

Speaker 1 (13:56):
I started.

Speaker 4 (13:56):
I started, and I started sniffing a lot of blow
and drinking wine and I really like to write at
that time. It made me very descriptive, and I got
really into the process a lot, yeah, until it like
got weird, and then I got paranoid and couldn't write
and thought like police were gonna buzz just crazy shit
right right. But but it's like a year in two
it I'm like, yeo, I think I'm done, and he

(14:16):
he opens up, He's like this is actually really good.
So he then calls Joe Franz uh and says you
have to be his co author, and Franz is like, dude,
please don't give me that position, like because my behavior
was really erratic and I was like out of my
mind and no one wanted to have to like work

(14:36):
with me, but was like, you have to do it,
you have to And then he called his manager, which
at the time was Terry Hardy, and Terry Hardy reached
out to some literary agents and got me a literary agent,
which then so Franz took my twelve chapters, typed it
up laptop. He's like got letters in front and behind
his name. He's like a really intelligent he was a

(14:57):
professor at one point. So he turned that and to
like a manuscript and twenty three chapters. Uh, and then
we fucking got an option and someone bought it and
it did like crazy well recently was revised in its
twelfth edition.

Speaker 1 (15:12):
That's amazing.

Speaker 4 (15:12):
Most books that come out don't make it past their
first so it's a big deal in the literary world.

Speaker 1 (15:19):
Congratulations. Thanks.

Speaker 2 (15:21):
I feel like you guys, you know, were a cooler,
more rebellious mister mister Beast right like before mister Beast
in terms of that group mentality, filming everything like you
said and doing all that.

Speaker 4 (15:35):
Do you think that you know, it's funny. I didn't
know anything about mister Beast, and I'm going to stick
to the anonymity here, but I have I've recently helped
someone who personally, you know, in my world of recovery,
who did all that? Who created that?

Speaker 5 (15:56):
Oh wow?

Speaker 4 (15:56):
Yeah, which was like wow, He's like you ever heard
of And I'm like, no, what the fuck to that?

Speaker 5 (16:01):
So that's all Yeah, No, that's amazing.

Speaker 4 (16:04):
I had no idea what I still really don't know
much about it.

Speaker 2 (16:06):
I think that's the great part about that world too,
is you know, you pay everything forward and you don't
even know who you're.

Speaker 5 (16:13):
Gonna help next, but you but you do it.

Speaker 1 (16:15):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (16:15):
And like Robert Downey had that great speech about Mel
Gibson and how Mel helped him and then take him
at the beginning.

Speaker 4 (16:23):
You know, like depending on what you see from somebody,
they can do it in a way that you find
is appealing enough, maybe it will transmit yep, if God
forbid you fall into a place of hard time.

Speaker 2 (16:36):
Yeah, And they were doing it on stage in front
of everyone. You know, Robert was doing it as his
acceptance speech. Well Mel was like drunk on the side, right, Yeah,
like that. It's such a crazy moment, but like so
meaningful and like I think just helping other people is huge.
But yeah, the mister Beast comment, I feel like you
guys just inspired an entire generation, right, and even the

(17:01):
form of filmmaking kind of revolutionize the industry too, and YouTube,
which would become the biggest platform, like it was kind
of YouTube before YouTube.

Speaker 4 (17:09):
I do hear that, yeah a lot. I'm sure bam
has like a billion times more, but it's it's the
equivalent I think now, Like you see these new YouTubers
or rappers that aren't even that big as some of
like the legendary names, and the legendaries are like fucking

(17:30):
trying to figure out how they're going to like come
up with money to pay for whatever. And you get
these guys who are getting views and just like burning
hundred dollars bills. Yeah, yeah, no one really even knows
who they are, right right, So that's got to be
a tough break.

Speaker 1 (17:45):
Yeah, it is what it is.

Speaker 3 (17:45):
It's just life, and it's it's it's I mean just
over the past twenty years, ten years, like just entertainment
has changed so much on every front. It doesn't matter
which way you're looking at it. Where exactly what you're saying,
it's there's I mean I see the whole time, dude,
like TikTokers that are more famous than than you know,
major celebrities, and I'm like, who the hell is that person.

Speaker 1 (18:06):
Yeah, yeah, like how to do baby content or something.

Speaker 3 (18:10):
I'm like, it's it's crazy, bro, It's it's definitely ship
to no man to each their own, you know, like uh,
and it's so funny because even the film ministry has
changed so much. But yeah, but like like Will was saying, man,
I I I also I grew up skateboarding, man, so
like I we we watched all your stuff. We had
a lot of fun and we were all just misfits
doing our thing, man like, and that was like part
of it though it's like we none of us really

(18:31):
fit in anywhere, but together collectively we had a family,
you know, outside of our families, and it was just
there's something to it that it's just like and everyone
had their struggles, man, and but we had each other,
which was the coolest thing.

Speaker 1 (18:41):
And then to see what you guys do.

Speaker 3 (18:43):
You do crazy stuff, right, But then it's pretty amazing
seeing the other side of it. You know, some people
don't make it out right, they don't get to the
other side. And what you've done with your sobriety and
helping people is like it's it's eye opening and it's incredible, man.
And I'm I'm curious how long after you got sober
did you decide you wanted to go into the intervention

(19:04):
professional career path or how long were you ready until
you're ready to do it.

Speaker 4 (19:07):
It's it's funny, man. I remember being in treatment, and
you know, my resume prior to that read like multiple
impatient treatment centers, wells kind of outpatients and detoxes overdoses
were a weekly thing. My mother had bought me a lot,
which you know is still in Baltimore, and you know,

(19:29):
a thirty eight year old home was heroin addicts. So
my resume to that point read that spliced in with
you know, skateboarder, jackass pivilabam an author, right, but no
high school diploma. I got my ged and the penitentiary.
But I remember being in my ninetieth a ninety day

(19:50):
impatient treatment center and I was assigned this family therapist.
Their name was Karen. Karen called me into her office
one of the days closer to my discharge and she said, Okay,
what are you gonna do when you leave here?

Speaker 5 (20:05):
Now?

Speaker 4 (20:05):
My plan was I was going to go to a
soilber living house for one year. Something I had never
done is to kind of keep that accountability going and
I said, that's where I'm going. She said, well, what
are you gonna do? How are you gonna you know,
pay for this? I'll get a job. And she goes, well,
what do you want to do? I had no idea,
right like, because those things that I share with you
really didn't give me any kind of tools to like

(20:28):
parlay into other stuff. I wrote a book on pen
and paper. I'm not a type, but I'm a laptop,
so I can't, like, I have no I got a
ged in prison. I can't really like be a writer.
It's just I just yeah. Uh So she said, okay,
what would you like to do? And she gets on
like some app, some job search thing and list the

(20:49):
qualifications and I didn't really have any of the list
right And I'm like, well, I'd like to maybe work
in a SPCA or a nursing. She's like, you can't
work in a fucking nurse She's like, that's you know,
it's it's a very nice sentiment, but it's fucking sad.
You know. There's a lot of hospice, a lot of dad,
it's like, and to work in the SPCA, it's more volunteers,

(21:14):
so you can't really pay your way through that. I'm
a thirty eight year old guy and I have no direction.
Although a lot of people like know my name, I like,
I didn't. So my assistant at the time reached out
to this. He looked at the address of where I
was going to be living, and then he started calling

(21:36):
some unbeknownst to me, right because at this time, I
was still full with ego and I had this false
sense of pride of don't you know who I think
I am? Kind of shit or so he started looking
at restaurants in the area and he found this diner
called Marianne's Diner, and he called and he he got

(21:59):
me an interview with the owner. And it's funny. The
day before I was released, they put me in this
little druggy buggy van and they drive me to this
job interview, and I'm like proud of this. I'm like,
oh wow, this is really I remember I had a
book in my hand I was reading, and I go
to this job interview, you know, feeling like I look
really studious, and I'm taken back into this kitchen and

(22:20):
it's just this little diner and they're fucking everywhere as
a mess and the guy's interviewing me while the owner
while he's cooking. This is not how I envisioned this
to go. Like. It looked like I was going to court.
I had like some khakis on with a button up
shirt tucked in. I was like, fucking gonna kill this thing.
And I got a giant left that restaurant with the

(22:41):
job washing dishes for six dollars an hour under the table, right,
And I had heard the word humility, but I had
never experienced it until this. Uh So, I'm living in
this sober living house, I'm washing dishes at a diner
from four am to three pm, five days a week,

(23:03):
barely paying my one sixty five a week rent. But
little did I know at the time that job was
going to teach me the fundamentals of life and be
one of the best things that ever happened to me.
And Joe Franz he came to me on a visit
while I was still in the rehab and he said,
don't worry, this is only temporary. And I didn't know
that that was the truth, but I believed in it, right,

(23:28):
And for six months, I never missed the day of work.
I showed up every day. I took pride in those dishes.
I'd show I joined the FEN fifteen, the fifteen and overclub,
where you show it fifteen minutes earlier, you stay fifteen
minutes late. Right, you fucking take pride and washing those dishes,
and and and then you know, I lacked self esteem

(23:52):
that was apparent. Self esteem had long disappeared. And I
knew that. People told me that, well aware of it.
But I did know how to get it. I think
if I know how to get it, I would have
fucking done it and I would have been on my
way with this new found self esteem. But what happened
through showing up every day while washing dishes with my
coworker who was a fifteen year old kid named Brian.

(24:13):
I'm a thirty eight guy, thirty year old man who
people kind of know, and I'm washing these dishes with
Brian who's fifteen, for six bucks an hour on the table.
But I started taking pride, and I started, through washing
those dishes, becoming self sufficient.

Speaker 5 (24:25):
Right.

Speaker 4 (24:25):
I started paying my own one sixty five a week rent.
I started buying my own cigarettes I smoked at the time.
I started buying my own groceries, and through those esteemable acts,
I started to gain a sense of self esteem unbeknownst
to me, and I started like hold my head up
a little bit higher and feeling a little bit more
proud and better of who I was and the direction
I was headed in. And it had been a long

(24:47):
time since I didn't have to rely on anybody to
fucking guide me or foot me or the bill. And
throughout that process, I remember one day and I looked
at Brian and I said, Brian, there's got to be
a way that I can work less and make more right.
And he's like, what do you want to do. I'd
like to wait tables, and I'm pretty good with my

(25:09):
mouth guylas all right, I like people. And he's like, dude,
that's it's impossible. And I said why and he said
because at the time, I had hair long like yours.
And he goes, your hair is too long, your tattoos
are atrocious. And they only have women's servers here at
this restaurant. And that was true, the women's service. Nonetheless,

(25:32):
I keep watching these dishes and one day Jimmy comes in.
Jimmy's the owner. There's two brothers. Jimmy walks in and
he said, novact I want you to know you saved
this restaurant's life. Wow. And I said, what the fuck
are you talking about, Jimmy, And he said this this
place was financially sound before I got here, and it
will be long after I leave. And he said, no,
what you don't know is that the morale of this
kitchen was like below hell low. And everyone knew who

(25:57):
you were. And when you came in that day for
the job, everyone was betting on how long you'd last
back here. And not only did you like make a
lot of people lose their bets, they saw the pride
that you put into the work and that you showed
up consistently, and you raised the morale of this kitchen

(26:18):
and like turn this whole back of the house around.
And he said, what can I do for you? I said,
I want to be a waiter and he goes, you
got it. And I became the first mail server ever
at that restaurant.

Speaker 5 (26:29):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (26:30):
And I stayed there for one year. And in that
day when I left, I gave my two weeks in
which I had never done. The last job I had,
I fucking bullied the producer of Evil of BAM. So
I so like to wear clothes and not like I said, Jimmy,
I have to give my two weeks notice, and he goes,
you're going to regret it because because I was an
amazing employee and he didn't want.

Speaker 5 (26:51):
To lose me, of course, and rightfully.

Speaker 4 (26:53):
So, and he was nervous. And I do not regret it.
Trust me, but that job. Yeah, And again, those are
the blessings that have taken place in my life. They
were all unbeknownst to me, right, I just I just
had to trust in the process and believe in what
people who thoroughly you know, and had invested interest in

(27:14):
me for the right reasons.

Speaker 2 (27:15):
That's such a powerful story. Honestly, I freaking love that story.
I literally was gonna ask, like, I bet Brian was
a fan, right, and like then.

Speaker 4 (27:24):
You kind of, I'm like, But the cool thing about
that was so the reason why I didn't gun for
that waitress waiter job in the beginning is because my
mind was like, dude, if I'm waiting tables, people are
going to recognize me and that's going to be really humiliating.
So I'm like, I'll settle with hiding in the back.
I can ease my way into that. And then while

(27:46):
doing it back there. He may have been a fan,
but the volume that we were dealing with was so
fucking hectic that like it didn't fucking matter. It's like, dude,
fucking wash these dis like here where you know, So
that that worked for.

Speaker 1 (27:59):
Me, I think too.

Speaker 3 (28:00):
Like what you said about that, that's such a valuable lesson,
right going from washing dishes to gaining self esteem, you know,
and that right there is the pathway to success. Is
people don't realize it doesn't matter what age, or it
doesn't matter what job it is, doesn't matter if it's
job or not. You know, like I got I had
no self esteem growing up, and where I got it
was in the gym. Is I learned what I was
capable of. I learned I could do more, you know.

(28:22):
I started to get confidence in myself and my ability
because it was in my hands, you know, of what
I could control and literally, yeah, and it's those lessons
that I applied to other aspects of my life and
every little job that I had. I've I've had some
really shitty jobs I've had, you know, like the three,
four or five am at the bakery making cookies for
hundreds and hundreds of people out of fifteen to working

(28:44):
at Abercromi and fish was embarrassing as hell for me, dude.
But doing working in retail, selling jeans and stuff, just
all these random odd jobs. Even doing a trade, you know,
like I did air conditioning and my big asses it
up in a tiny little attic doesn't make any sense,
you know. But I was finding my path right, finding
my way. And every job that I had I learned
something from exactly to your point, like showing up fifteen

(29:07):
minutes early and staying fifteen minutes later. That is something
that's invaluable. And what I've learned over time is if
you give one hundred percent of yourself into something, it
will come back to you one way or another. And
just like that, you became the first male waiter right leg,
and then you got self esteem and then now look
at where you're at in life too.

Speaker 4 (29:23):
You know, it even goes further than that. So I'm
washing these dishes, I'm starting to draw a paycheck. I
opened my first own ever, my own checking accounts because
usually it was attached to a woman, right because they
could kind of keep things afloat. I could get money,
I couldn't keep it. I could get a house I
couldn't keep a home, so I got my own checking account,

(29:44):
and then I started to save money. I started paying
rent weekly. Then it went to buy weekly, and then
I never I had credit. I didn't have bad credit,
I had no credit. So then I got a presecured
credit card. And then that presecure credit card turned into
a credit card of like a five hundred dollar limit,
and then you know, that continued to snowball into who

(30:08):
I am today with you know, multiple accounts, multiple credit cards,
one with no limit, you know what I mean like that,
And I was incapable of seeing how far that was
going to go. But it just taught me all these
lessons that I don't know if I would have learned
otherwise without practicing that humility. And thank god I had

(30:29):
people that would take that step for me, because my
ego and my pride would not allow me to what
I thought foolish me to stoop down to something that
was beneath me. Little did I know that that thing
like saved me.

Speaker 1 (30:44):
That's that was gave you the foundation to build.

Speaker 4 (30:47):
But it's the foundation of like every piece of success
that I have now for the most part.

Speaker 1 (30:54):
That's awesome.

Speaker 3 (30:55):
Man, Do you have mentors in your life or have
you had mentors in your life that that have made
a huge impact, or how important is a mentor even
just a person you know, a friend, family member, whoever
it is to give you the inside or even just
show up to this job on time you know?

Speaker 1 (31:10):
Or how is that?

Speaker 4 (31:11):
It's everything? Yeah, it's everything. My mother used to tell
me as a child, show me who you walk with,
and I'll tell you who you are. And that couldn't
be any more true in this day and age. But
the beautiful thing about me is so someone inspired me
to believe in me in the beginning of my journey.

(31:34):
And the funny thing is, at that time I was
not believing in me. I still didn't have that self
esteem and I was still in treatment. When I it
was a fellow by the name of Chris Herring. He
played for the Denver Nuggets, the Boston Celtics NBA guy. Yeah,
he's one of my biggest mentors and dear friends, and
whenever I have something heavy, I call him and run
it by him. Now we've become since close. But at

(31:57):
the time I walk into detox of that night program
and I have been really disconnected from reality for a
long time, I've been dehumanized, and I was living on
this like animalistic level where I just legit, just live
to use and use to live. And at that point

(32:18):
in my life, you know, if people had to love
me from a distance, because like if you told me
you loved me, I equated that to ten dollars, and
I got over on you. I robbed you, I lied
to you, I stole from you, and we just washed
and repeat that. So people finally had fucking grown sick
of it and said, look, we love you, but from
over here, don't come this way. So I had lived

(32:40):
like that for a long time, rightfully, So I created
that outcome. And I walked into this detox and I'm
not even I just finished my intake and I walk
in and they're all watching this fucking screen and Chris
Herring's videos playing, And there's this part in the documentary
where his therapist calls men. The therapist called him mister basketball,

(33:01):
mister basketball, come in here.

Speaker 5 (33:03):
He walked in.

Speaker 4 (33:04):
He said, uh, I want you to do me a
favor and Chris said, yeah, what's that? Take this phone
and he throws the phone in Christy. He said, I
want you to call your wife and I want you
to do the biggest favor for your family that you
ever do. I want you to tell your wife to
tell your children that you've been killed in a car accident.
Because at this point he could not stay sober, right,
he was a vicious heroin attict overdoses just fucking just

(33:28):
destroyed everything that came in his path. And then the
therapist is like, just tell your kids you're dead, like
let them go, like stop taking these and I could
relate to that, and I'm like, dude, I tell I
feel because I always felt like if I just died,
life will be so much better for my mother, right,
like she could actually be at peace. And I really

(33:50):
wanted her to stop hurting. I fucking did, God knows
I did. And I could relate to that life would
have been better for my loved ones if they just
knew that. I finally, you know, circum to my addiction.
And I watched that document and for the first time,
i'd say probably in at least a year, I shed

(34:12):
a tear and then all of a sudden, another tier
and then they just fucking opened up and I just
started crying so much in that dayroom of that detox
that I had to walk out. I couldn't even and
I had just cried and cried, and I started to
feel like humanized again. And at that moment I realized
that although I don't fucking believe in me, I do

(34:33):
believe in him, And through believing in him, I then
learned how to believe in me. And his story incentivized
and motivated me that I too could fucking do it.
And that was so. Now I have this video that
does really well and it plays all over it. It's
really preferential and treatment centers in jails, and you know,

(34:54):
millions of using people were like, dude, I saw your video.
It inspired me. And I'm like, dude, I saw Chris's
and then and then and then it's this video. It's
called Tomorrow, It's gonna be a better day. It's the
fucking crazy views. And and I was in Ohio a
speaking engagement, and the guy who was kind of like

(35:14):
setting it up, he's like, oh, well, I have we
have three hours to kill. There's this guy at this
news studio who reports people's store records, people's stories. Do
you want to stop by and do it? And I'm
like sure, whatever, And I sat down and did it
and literally it was just in passing and it turned
out to be one of the most powerful things that
I've ever put out legit and I was just it

(35:37):
was a time killer.

Speaker 5 (35:38):
Wow.

Speaker 4 (35:38):
And you can pull it up and see it. It's
just and it's just me sitting in a chair, but
it just it timing in alignment. God took advantage of that,
and it's it plays everywhere. And if I could tell
you how many people call me a day or my
hotline and say I saw that video, I need help,
and so you know, that inspire me to do that.

(36:00):
And then throughout the rest of my journey, you know,
I have probably a handful of people who I rely
on like that for like and then even with opening
my new treatment center, Redemption Addiction Treatment Center, I got
to a point where things were really good and they
flowed very evenly, you know, and there was no issues.
Everything was safe. And my shout out to one of

(36:24):
my biggest mentors, business partner Matt Annam with Aftermath Addiction
Treatment Center in Massachusetts. He was tasked with the position
to kind of guide me in the beginning of our
relationship when we worked for another organization. He then left
that organization opened up his own and then about a
couple of years after it, he was like, what are

(36:47):
you doing? You can do better? You can you can
help more, like you've made someone else enough money for
a long enough period of time, Like why don't you
collect your resources? You've acquired the knowledge, and he saw
in me what I didn't see in myself. And then motive,
you know, So those mentors they're everything everything. When I'm

(37:08):
steering my ship, man, we're fucking going down.

Speaker 2 (37:14):
So the tailor two Cities lines, I remembered it. It's
it was the best of times and the worst of times, right, Yeah?
Did you applying that to your life? Do you think
was it harder to enjoy, you know, the great memories
of filming and being with your friends and you know,
doing all the shows and movies because of the using

(37:36):
and the addiction, or did you find that now you
can kind of look back on it more positively that
you're over the hum.

Speaker 4 (37:43):
I would say it was all so strategically written by
my higher power that I was like, it just blows
my mind looking back. And I truly believe that I
was blessed the ability to create this rather big platform

(38:04):
that only came by virtue of all those pieces of work,
you know, and the Jaggass, the Peopla Bam, the serious
satellite radio, the bams on Holy Union, where the fuck
is sand And when we went to Finland to find
Santa Claus, all this different stuff where my role was

(38:29):
to be just this crazy, you know, drug addic guy
who didn't care about anything and did whatever wherever with whoever,
to then be used for a greater good later on
and be saved and blessed with recovery. To now use

(38:49):
that platform where I'd gathered the masses from my fucking
train wreck appearances to say, like, this is my deal,
and if you think that this is something that might
interest you, give me a call, you know what I mean. So,
looking back, I wouldn't take it back. I'm so grateful
I had the opportunity, and I believe it was done
by design.

Speaker 3 (39:10):
Yeah, absolutely, I always uh. Well, one, it's like it's
very obviously turning pain into purpose, right, And everything you
went through and all the experiences you had, all the
information you garnered, all the pain you had led you
to where you're at now so you can actually help
and inspire and change people's life that need it now
you know, or this thing I say all the time,
you know, which I really adopted a couple of years ago,

(39:31):
But I always say, I'm exactly where I'm supposed to
be when I'm supposed to be there, you know, totally yeah,
And that for me, honestly, is I'm not at where
I want to be in my career. I don't know
what's it, but it's it could be that one moment,
whether my life sums up to this one moment where
I meet this person at the exact moment I'm supposed
to and change their life and then they change a
million or one hundred million or whatever. If that's my
journey and I don't achieve the things that I thought

(39:53):
in my head with my ego that I was supposed
to do, then then I'm alright with that, you know, yeah,
no matter what, that turns out too so.

Speaker 4 (40:00):
And you never know when that experience is going to
take exactly On tour with the Element guys, right, Kingman
passes me along that book A million little pieces. I'm
getting loaded at the time. Read the book, love it
because it's about heroin addiction rehab. Later on, I'm presented
an ultimatum that I have to write a book or
I'm kicked out of the house to go back. So

(40:20):
I remember that book, you know, it set off a
chain of events. But today, you know, I'm in a
much different place than I was when I was handed
that book. And if I knew how it was going
to play out, I would have fucked it up right,
I would have gotten the way of it. I would
have got to be sober. I don't want to fucking
own treatment centers, and so fuck that little did I know?

(40:43):
You know what I mean? Yeah, my father, I guess
was right when he's to tell me that suck up
a wet dream on any given day as a child,
and that's that's the truth of the matter. I always,
you know, I live by like slogans because I heard
them early on in my sobriety. And I heard one
that I say to myself often that alludes to what
you were talking about, being right where you're supposed to

(41:04):
be is rejection is God's protection. Because there's a lot
of days that I don't get what I want, believe
it or not, and I'm like and I have to remember, like, no,
this is exactly how it's supposed to be, and acceptances
answer to everything.

Speaker 3 (41:18):
Absolutely man amen to that. It's just ingratitude too. I
feel such a major factor in that.

Speaker 4 (41:24):
It's everything.

Speaker 3 (41:25):
Yeah, you could drive down the street, get a flat
tire and be pissed all day, lit the room to day,
but that a flat tire could stop you from a
fatal accident.

Speaker 4 (41:31):
I think about it.

Speaker 1 (41:32):
And that's the thing.

Speaker 4 (41:33):
If you spot it, you got it. If you're on
that like frequency. But there's still days where I'm initially
like approaching it with like, what the fuck I have
to pay this bill, I have to go to this appointment.
I have this obligation. And my mentor, one of my mentors,
they said, if you simply change the word have to get,

(41:55):
it will change your perspective. I don't have to get
a flat tire. I get to get a flat tire
because I have a fucking car. Right, A lot of
people don't you know, however, you want to frame that,
but I too, you know, like I get a red
light and I'm like, all right, I'm pissed, I'm late,
but maybe like someone was about to blow that one

(42:15):
and hit me head on if I would have whatever.

Speaker 1 (42:19):
What is that mindset? Ship, dude?

Speaker 4 (42:20):
And I didn't change that until I was placed around
people that felt like that. Going back to your mentors
left my own devices, I think you did that to me.

Speaker 1 (42:31):
Yeah, And then what.

Speaker 4 (42:32):
My reaction was for so long is I'm going to
go shoot dope at you because you fucking did this
to me. I'm gonna drink poison at you. I'll show you.
That's the way that I was wired for a long time.

Speaker 2 (42:46):
Have you have you read any echartole like The New
Earth or Power of Now?

Speaker 4 (42:50):
Yeah, I actually have the Power of Now my book.
Right now, when I leave here, I'll go hang out
by the pool at the Roosevelt and read my book
and the Fifth Agreement, which I have too, oh, because
it's the Four Agreements. But then I just came across
the Fifth Agreement the other day, which I wasn't familiar with.

Speaker 2 (43:06):
Yeah, And he reads his own audiobooks and has that
amazing voice like I'll do it before bed all the time,
and just kind of fade away with those yeahs. I
have the love and do what you will from the
New Earth right there where you know. Saint Augustine three
ninety five a d where Rome was taken over by
barbarians and it was kind of the westernization of the church,

(43:30):
where it's like the buildings aren't your faith. Your faith
is internal, and that kind of led to Protestantism and
all that. But I really do believe that you know
love and do what you will if everything's stemming from
a place of love.

Speaker 5 (43:45):
It's all about your intention.

Speaker 2 (43:47):
And you know that book, Those books have taught me
so much about ego and myself and ego and others.

Speaker 4 (43:53):
How is just easing God out right? And now I
become God. I am the Great. I am yep, and
you owe me because look what I did for you.

Speaker 5 (44:03):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (44:03):
Fuck is That's why I think eck artists can be
really helpful for people in recovery, because it's all about
the you know, the higher power and ego and like
like you just.

Speaker 1 (44:16):
Everything.

Speaker 4 (44:16):
Yeah, and that's you know, for so long I had
this internal void, right that I was always trying to fill.
Was always trying to fill this internal void with this
like external solution, and then it always came by virtue
of money, property, prestige, pussy, And no matter how much
of that I put into this whole, it wouldn't suffice.

(44:38):
You still felt like less inadequate. And and then I
would get those things, and it wouldn't work. It wouldn't work,
wouldn't work. What's going on? And then what happened ultimately
at the end, the last thing I tried, which was
the first thing that ever worked, uh, was I did

(44:59):
the work internally first. And when I did the work internally,
finally I received the external results I always desired. So
it had to be backwards, and that came by way
of working the twelve steps in my twelve step program.
And I had a spiritual experience. And the definition of
the spiritual experience is a psychic change. Right, So what

(45:23):
that means now is I brandon of back today, no
longer look at things the way I did. That I
have a completely different perspective on life, and I've acquired
enough knowledge to understand what I can control. What you're
talking about, and what is that? That's me, my thinking,
my attitude, and my behavior. That's all I have control
over the moment I place an expectation on you, all

(45:45):
I've done is set myself up for an unfulfilled Resentmently
why because not you, not him, not the dog, will
not me, will ever live up to my own standards.
I will always let me fucking down and so will you.
So the sooner I understand that all I have control
over in this world is me, it's easier for me
to navigate through without being a fucking old bit or

(46:07):
resentful man, which ultimately then I end up fucking shooting
dope or drinking wine at you. You fucking make me angry.

Speaker 2 (46:13):
And they always say too, like something like ninety percent
of the evil in the world is stems from an
unfilled need or an unfilled want, right, not need, want
or whatever it is, but essentially, like you look at
someone like Hitler or whatever, and he like didn't get
what he wanted, so he went on a rampage, right,
stuff like that.

Speaker 4 (46:32):
It's because you know, any given day I can wake up,
I do and it's either like, don't you know who
the fuck I am? Or please gud, don't ask me
who I am? You know, I always trying to find
this balance because there's a need or a want going on. Right,
And then when I like take an honest evaluation of
my surroundings where I'm at, who I'm with, Am I happy?

(46:56):
Am I full? Do I have a roof over my head? Yeah?
I have, you know, my healthy Like then I realized,
like I am exactly where I'm supposed to be.

Speaker 3 (47:05):
Yeah, yeah, how did you get to that point of
introspection and then allowing yourself to like pain?

Speaker 1 (47:11):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (47:12):
Pain, that's been the motivating factor. It's been the only
thing that would ever dictate any form of change. Pain.

Speaker 3 (47:19):
Well, that's I mean, that's what they say with with success.
I mean, you look at all these major mentors, the
Tony Robbins, you know, whoever it is. That's the thing
that's going to force you to change. It's pain versus pleasure, right,
It's it's you have to have being enough pain to
make that change and then move on forward from there.
Otherwise you're just going to keep spending that hamster wheel.
You're gonna make the same mistakes over and over. It's

(47:40):
just and that's the thing. It's exactly we said. It's backwards.
We are I think wired as humans to be backwards.
When you break down the pain versus pleasure module, it's
temporary pleasure, you know, eating a piece of cake, you know,
doing the drugs, getting the dre My brain wants to
do exactly immediately because you get immediate gratification and then
you get long term pain. If we can settle or
put it in our minds to do the temporary pain,

(48:02):
which is, don't do that drink, don't eat that thing,
go do the workout. Yeah, then you get the long
term pleasure exactly, which is where you're living now, right, And.

Speaker 4 (48:09):
That's the spiritual experience. And I had to do that
internal work, the thing that I always did exact opposite
of and would buy a house, get a girl, get
an account, get a check whatever, that's a car. What
I was talking about it yesterday and I read this
not long ago. The magic that we're in search of
is in the work that we're avoiding. Think about that. Yeah,

(48:31):
do I want to go to the gym? Fuck?

Speaker 3 (48:33):
No?

Speaker 5 (48:34):
Right?

Speaker 4 (48:34):
Do I want to eat dessert? Absolutely? Do I want
to wake up early?

Speaker 3 (48:37):
No?

Speaker 4 (48:37):
Do I want yes?

Speaker 1 (48:39):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (48:40):
All that ship that is not good for me. My
brain's like, god, I love that.

Speaker 5 (48:44):
It's I love that.

Speaker 4 (48:46):
Think about that in any area of your life.

Speaker 2 (48:47):
Yeah, like just watching your steave Boat podcast and or no,
I think Steve bo was on one, but he basically said,
when you're the rock bottom is and you stop digging, right,
and that that's such a simple statement and it hit
me so fucking hard.

Speaker 4 (49:05):
But we overlooked that right, because as humans, we over
complicate the most simplest of processes. What I was just
talking about, you know, like the love of everything, right,
it can never be that simple. It's always got to be. Yeah,
but what's what's the what's the cost of it? Where
does it come from? Who made it? What is it?
Is it pretty? Does it smell good? It's like it's
just loud, like.

Speaker 3 (49:26):
Yeah, it's I have this company, uh as a finished app.
But I named it discipline because I really wanted to
find what is the root you know, uh, reason that
we do things, you know, that we show or to
actually be successful at something. And discipline almost by definition,
you know, obviously it's doing things that you don't want
to do that you it's going to garner the result

(49:46):
that you do actually want. But it's the highest form
of self love. It's the discipline to get up early, right,
It's the discipline to make that choice of make the
hard choice, the pain choice is the definition of it.

Speaker 1 (49:56):
It's I mean, it's a form.

Speaker 4 (49:57):
Yeah, that's I've become a really disciplined person. Yeah, because
before for that psyche change, I was not a figure. Right,
I do whatever, whenever, wherever with whoever forever, and now
I'm like really regimented, I'm really disciplined matter exactly.

Speaker 3 (50:15):
Yeah, I mean that's a Jocko Willink, right, he has
a book it's a discipline equals freedom And when you
really break it down, yeah, you're doing all the hard
shit all the time, but you're free at the end
of it, right, You're not succumbing to all of these
temporary pleasures, these these you know, choices that actually end
up hurting yourself long term. So being able to get
to that point of gratitude and discipline, you're all the

(50:36):
stuff that you're doing right now, all the stuff you're
helping other people do. That is where we live, where
we thrive, you know. And if we're not a prisoner
to our own totally mindset, you know what I mean.

Speaker 4 (50:45):
Which is where the prison exists. This is the problem
for everything, right, This is my problem. Was never the
drinking or the drugging. That was not the problem at all.
The heroin, the cocaine, the xenix, the wine, it's not
the problem. It's the solution to the problem. The problem
is the thinking, the attitude, and the behavior that always
takes me back to my solution and then I had

(51:08):
to fucking figure out, well if if shooting heroin and
cocaine and drinking wine is the answer, and what the
fuck is the question? And then so then I had
to like I didn't understand that I was learning any
of this until like I was at a place to
comprehend being given to me because you know, the opportunity
and it just didn't align timing.

Speaker 1 (51:29):
It doesn't matter until you aligned.

Speaker 4 (51:31):
No, exactly a million times one day, I was at
the appropriate place and the appropriate person was was tasked
the position to deliver the same thing I'd heard, but
I landed, it landed, and I listened, and that that's
what I.

Speaker 1 (51:45):
Learned, is that, like it's the thinking, it's that oh.

Speaker 2 (51:51):
No, Yeah, I was just saying my my therapist always says,
have have happy feet, right, So like if you're saying,
am I going to go to the gym, just have
your feet lead you and just boom, just do it right, Like,
don't think about it too much.

Speaker 5 (52:04):
Just yeah.

Speaker 4 (52:05):
I always say the less I think, the better I
do think less, do more.

Speaker 2 (52:09):
Yeah, And you were talking about too on another podcast
and coming here, I'm like I was just like laying
in my hotel room and a fucking a call HLN.

Speaker 4 (52:18):
Like one of those series came on and I love
caughts and I'm like to see them, like, dude, this
is sick. I could like just chill and like my
brain will talk me out, like dude, fuck, what do
you you know? Like anything?

Speaker 3 (52:31):
It's there's this quote I love to man, it kind
of reminds me of this and everything you've been saying too.
But it's it's life. Isn't what happens to us, it's
how we react to it. So our reactions to every
single thing that happens, the fender bender that you get
pissed at, right and then the guy pulls out a
gun or just whatever you like, or if you react
in a positive light, you know your life is saved
and it only makes things better. So it's getting to

(52:52):
that mindset too, like all of these things that you're
saying become the sum of being whole and fulfilled.

Speaker 1 (52:57):
And Jim Carrey like, I love.

Speaker 3 (52:58):
Quotes too, but I'll quote all day, but he's like, uh,
you know, I wish that everyone could be famous and
rich they could see that it's not the answer that hole.
You're that void you're trying to fill right, And so
that's where I've always been my whole life, seeking the
highest version of myself. But also what's the root cause
of my issues?

Speaker 4 (53:18):
You know?

Speaker 3 (53:18):
Where are my problem? Where's my depression come from? Where's
the stem from? Why am I overthinking everything?

Speaker 1 (53:22):
Like? Where?

Speaker 3 (53:23):
And how do I change that? How do I do
I need to go? I've learned that I really need
to go camping and take my damn shoes off for
a week and check out for a little bit, you know,
because that reconnection for me is everything, you know, But
finding ways to do that in my day to day
too is a game changer. And what do I do daily?
What are my habits every single day that make exactly?

Speaker 4 (53:42):
Yeah? So until I like was at the appropriate place
mentally to comprehend that, I was ignorant to all of it, right,
So it made sense for me to continue to live
the way I lived, because like, why would I not?
That's the norm? Yeah, the abnormal have become my normal.

Speaker 1 (53:57):
You got the comfortable and chaos, and.

Speaker 4 (53:59):
Then the the appropriate amount of pain was delivered on
my day, which was May twenty fifth, twenty fifteen, where
I had done something I had never done, which was
as for help, follow through with the suggestions given, take
advantage of the opportunity, and then what I started to
do was acquire this information, this knowledge, so ignorance is

(54:21):
no longer bliss. I'm now armed with the facts. I'm
accountable for these actions, right. I know what I know.
I can't forget what I know. And I had to
get into a place where where they had to help
me uncover the problem so I could discover the problem

(54:41):
if there was ever any hope for me to recover
from the problem, you know what I mean, Because prior
to that, it was like, fuck, yeah, we flipped this table,
we cut lines out, we sniffed blow, and then we
go shoot a speedball and then we figure out like
that was like I didn't even know that it was
a problem, you know what I mean. There's so many layers,
and without the the blessed people that were placed in

(55:02):
my life, I wouldn't have wol I wouldn't have experienced
or understood them or benefited from them.

Speaker 3 (55:10):
Listening to all this too, man like it. So many
people have been in the position that you're that you
were in, right, and then, like you mentioned earlier, you said,
you know your family.

Speaker 1 (55:19):
You thought that they'd be better off with you debt
right like.

Speaker 3 (55:22):
And I've I've personally experienced that too in my own life,
and I've seen it with friends and family as well.
Do you have any insight or advice for family members
that have someone who is an addict or struggling that
to find a way to help them, because it's always
such a struggle with communication and understanding and what that
person's going through, and it's all there's no blanket answer,

(55:44):
it's all it's all very individual with that the circumstances the.

Speaker 4 (55:48):
World that I live in, which is harm reduction and recovery,
and and it's like there's no margin for error. Yet
it's impossible to do perfect. Yeah, because no one has
the answer. We're all trying. I'd like to believe we're
all trying our best with genuine intentions to create the
best outcome for the individual. I don't know what the

(56:12):
answer is, but I know what my experience was, and
what worked for me might not work for you or
her or them. But my experience was I was the
guy that was destined to die with a needle in
his arm. People had given up and love me from
a distance a long time ago, and I was the
one that no one believed whatever not only gets sober,
but stay sober, which and I think because of you know,

(56:35):
the public spotlight that I had and the roles that
I played and the opportunities that were given, it was
such a viewed thing that literally, I know, what was
a defect then was going to become my asset today
because people now view that and they're like, fuck, if
that guy can get it, then there's no reason why
I can't let me reach out. And what I say

(56:58):
is that like for me, I was never going to
change until there were repercussions from my actions, right, And
what I know now is I was simply being divinely inconvenienced.
But at the time I just thought things were happening,
you know, to me, not for me. I was so
consumed by the mess I was incapable of seeing the
message that's saying. And my experience is that my mother

(57:24):
at nineteen, I came home to her house where I
live with her in Baltimore City, and there was this
big glass door and I knocked. I put the key
in the lock, and the key didn't work anymore. And
that was a common theme in my story is that
locks would stop working. So in this particular day, the
lock stops working. I knock on the door and my
mother's crying and I see her through the glass door.

(57:45):
She's like, Brandon, I can't do this anymore. I'm sorry,
you have to go. And now at the time, I
was like, how fucking dare you? My father was a
crack addict. He died from his addiction, So of course
I immediately referred to well, if you didn't marry my father
and have a kid with me, I wouldn't he out
like him? Now it's your fucking fault, you know, really
spiteful shit, I was speeling. But what I that those

(58:07):
acts saved my life, right, because it then set off
a chain of events of me being homeless and where
some people are like, how could you kick your son
out of the house at nineteen? How could you turn
your back on them? What she did was she was
creating healthy boundaries for herself and me.

Speaker 1 (58:23):
And she's a judge from outside perspective, you know.

Speaker 4 (58:25):
Yeah, So my long winded answer to your short question is, like,
to create boundaries, find your tribe with the specific that
gendre you go to alan on meetings where those for
like families of loved ones who are in addiction and
where they can come together and they work their own
twelve steps like we work ours in our twelve step

(58:47):
recovery meetings. Wow. So find your people, man, and they're
all over. But I would definitely start by creating healthy boundaries.

Speaker 1 (58:55):
That's awesome, man. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (58:56):
And then, and like you're saying to that mindset shift
of you know one, that it applies to the boundaries
for sure, but it also is.

Speaker 1 (59:05):
Taking ownership.

Speaker 3 (59:06):
You're not blaming everyone else for your problems anymore, right,
it's now it's oh, I'm causing this. Everything that I
do as a result of my life. The way I
think is a result of why I live where, which
once you then realize that, then you can actually.

Speaker 4 (59:18):
Fix the outcome.

Speaker 1 (59:19):
Yeah, you change them because that's the way you show
up in the world. Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 4 (59:23):
Again, the moment I start expecting you to do or
think or say a certain thing, I'm gonna be angry
because you're.

Speaker 1 (59:29):
Not gonna setting both of us up for failure and
you're not going to.

Speaker 4 (59:32):
Listen to me. I can't make you do anything, so now,
so like, but what I can control is my reaction
to your action.

Speaker 1 (59:39):
The same thing.

Speaker 4 (59:39):
You're just talking about everything.

Speaker 5 (59:41):
Man.

Speaker 2 (59:42):
Man, I'm a big fan of a lot of the
other podcasts you've done, and I would love to ask
you kind of about those experiences and about this kind
of new landscape of media. Do you think like things
like YouTube and social media are harmful or positive when
it comes to getting out a message and reaching people,

(01:00:04):
or how do you feel about it and what are
the pros and cons?

Speaker 4 (01:00:07):
I feel to answer to that question just depends on
who you're asking. If it's harmful helpful? What are my intentions?

Speaker 1 (01:00:13):
Right?

Speaker 4 (01:00:13):
Am I getting on too to look up how to
build a bomb and send it to my ex girlfriend's house?
Or am I getting on to look up a recovery
video because I'm sick and I'm addicted and I just
need some inspiration or motivation to not kill myself. So
I think it's, you know, the end to the end
as far as that. I What I love about the

(01:00:36):
podcast is they'll live forever. Right like this today, I
could walk away and it might not affect anybody, but
then you opportunity in alignment. In this one kid somewhere
in Ohio at four am is just doesn't see another
way out. Might stumble on this because I don't know.

Speaker 1 (01:00:56):
You know, like it's like your round.

Speaker 4 (01:00:58):
Yeah, yeah, So I'm a big fan of it. And
then with podcasts specifically, some have better vibes than others.
This one has a really good vibe. It's good energy
in this room. I thoroughly enjoy talking to you. So
I'm like really in it. And the audience is very

(01:01:20):
you know, like who might listen to yours might not
listen to the other one I did yesterday, which was
a real estate guy. You know. But my specific topic
that I specialize in doesn't discriminate, right, addiction recovery. It
doesn't understand age, weight, creed, religion, lack of religion, fucking accounts,

(01:01:42):
no accounts, homes, no homes, Beverly Hills, fucking comptent like it.

Speaker 1 (01:01:48):
You know.

Speaker 4 (01:01:48):
So my message, my talk is universal, so I can't
really go wrong, and.

Speaker 3 (01:01:55):
I think it even applies to people who don't have
addiction issues. Right. It's diving into the mindset and how
we are as people, how we show up in the world.

Speaker 5 (01:02:02):
Right.

Speaker 3 (01:02:02):
So it's exactly it's not just one lane, right, but
that is a very specific lane that will help a
lot of people.

Speaker 4 (01:02:09):
But and Thank god you said that, because a lot
of people will cast out, well, I'm not a drug,
I'm not an alcoholic. I can't relate to this. But
if you listen through, that's not what we were talking
ab or talk about the behaviors that lead Yours could
be poorn, mine could be exactly gambling.

Speaker 1 (01:02:25):
We all numb in our own ways, right, you could
be watching movies all day totally.

Speaker 3 (01:02:28):
Yeah, it's what is that thing for you? And why
are you doing that thing?

Speaker 4 (01:02:31):
Exactly?

Speaker 1 (01:02:32):
Yeah? Yeah, and the.

Speaker 2 (01:02:33):
Habits to get over it, right, like the change, the
shift and consciousness that you talked about, right, that I
love discussing because you know, Einstein would talk about it,
Ekar would talk about it.

Speaker 5 (01:02:45):
That shifting consciousness.

Speaker 2 (01:02:46):
That's the most important thing and we could all benefit
from it for sure.

Speaker 4 (01:02:49):
And the rad thing about it. It all came to
me the moment I just admitted two things defeat and
that I had no idea about what I thought I know, right,
because then it made me mouldable, It made me teachable,
you know, open minded.

Speaker 3 (01:03:08):
I think there's the saying it goes like the moment
you think you know everything, you know nothing.

Speaker 4 (01:03:12):
Yeah, and then the longer I stay sober. The more
work I do internally with my spirituality and the journey
I go on, the older I get, the more I
know I have no idea, which is really nice and
freeing because now I don't feel like I'm in control
of and I'm not to dictate, Like fuck, I gotta
be here then, because they're gonna be waiting, and if
they're gonna be pissed, I'm like, they's just fucking chill,

(01:03:34):
like it's gonna be The process is going to be
all right, It's gonna play out how it's supposed to.

Speaker 1 (01:03:39):
Absolutely amen to that. Man, congrasts on the nine years.

Speaker 4 (01:03:43):
Thanks. I'm gratefous month and I'm grateful, really grateful.

Speaker 1 (01:03:47):
You're chilling. I want to I want you to get
to that pool side.

Speaker 4 (01:03:51):
Cool man. I really really enjoyed this.

Speaker 1 (01:03:53):
I appreciate it.

Speaker 5 (01:03:54):
So do we.

Speaker 1 (01:03:54):
Man, Dude, it's a fucking awesome to meet you. Grateful
to have you on.

Speaker 3 (01:03:57):
Thanks for everything you shared, everything you've done, man, everything
you've will come like ye, thank you.

Speaker 4 (01:04:01):
Bro. Hey, if anybody out there is in a place
that might need some guidance, you know they can reach
out to me directly at six one zero three one
four six seven four seven. That's connected to my treatment center,
Redemption Addiction Treatment Center. Go to my website Brandonnovak dot com.
That'll take you down all my my holes.

Speaker 3 (01:04:21):
Yeah well yeah, that's awesome, bro. We'll put links in
there and everything and help spread the word. Man, love
you boys, all rights appreciate you.

Speaker 1 (01:04:28):
Man. Thanks man, thanks for tuning in to Studio twenty two.